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(electronic music)
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Downloaded from
YTS.MX
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(blips)
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Official YIFY movies site:
YTS.MX
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(electronic music)
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(drumming music)
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(funky digital music)
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- [Newsman] Sparks were
flying in Congress today
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over the President Wolfman issue.
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(gavel bangs)
(people chatter)
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- [Chairman] Come to order,
please remain calm everybody.
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- [Congressman] The Senate
floor is drenched in blood.
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I call for immediate impeachment.
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- [Chairman] This is what
the government needed.
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We've passed more legislation this week
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00:01:31,500 --> 00:01:33,230
than in the past three years.
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- [Chairman] Our commander
in chief is terrorizing
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Washington on a killing spree.
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- [Chairman] Are you calling the president
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of the United States a murderer?
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- [Congressman] I'm calling him a monster!
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(person screams)
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(animal howls)
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(upbeat music)
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♪ President Wolfman ♪
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♪ Y'all dig my politician ♪
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♪ Of Washington ♪
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♪ Commander in chief is on the street ♪
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♪ Gonna put him in Arlington ♪
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00:02:03,090 --> 00:02:04,930
♪ Deadlock in the Senate ♪
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♪ Confusion in the House ♪
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♪ Ain't no time to compromise ♪
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♪ Gonna take these mothers out ♪
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♪ President Wolfman, President Wolfman ♪
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♪ Constitution and the Bill of Rights ♪
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♪ Don't tell us what to do ♪
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♪ There's a werewolf in the White House ♪
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♪ Coming after you ♪
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♪ Watch out ♪
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♪ The streets of D.C.
makes (mumble) let it fly ♪
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♪ Even the Air Force One won't come ♪
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00:02:30,060 --> 00:02:31,700
♪ And the man wants to take up flying ♪
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00:02:31,750 --> 00:02:36,750
♪ President Wolfman, President Wolfman ♪
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00:02:36,760 --> 00:02:39,590
♪ The FBI and the CIA
can't stop this mother ♪
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♪ From fucking up a brother ♪
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♪ On K Street ♪
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♪ Down U Street too ♪
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♪ Round Pennsylvania ♪
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♪ Avenue ♪
- He's gonna try to kill you.
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00:02:50,520 --> 00:02:53,890
♪ He just don't need the love of a woman ♪
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♪ Gotta get love from
the American people ♪
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♪ Keep on fighting for the people now ♪
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00:02:59,280 --> 00:03:02,440
(funky, upbeat music)
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00:03:06,530 --> 00:03:07,580
♪ Up for election ♪
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00:03:07,630 --> 00:03:08,750
♪ Up for election ♪
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♪ Too much election ♪
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00:03:09,850 --> 00:03:11,110
♪ Natural selection ♪
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♪ Got no protection ♪
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♪ Got no protection ♪
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00:03:13,240 --> 00:03:14,130
♪ Only affection ♪
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♪ President Wolfman, President Wolfman ♪
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♪ President Wolfman ♪
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♪ President Wolfman ♪
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♪ And left to a state of emergency ♪
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♪ Ain't gonna stop yours ♪
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♪ World war three ♪
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♪ Do the funky president ♪
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♪ Huf ♪
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(howls)
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(people chatter)
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(dance music)
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- [Madame Speaker] These
White House parties
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00:03:56,280 --> 00:03:58,380
are really going downhill.
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00:03:58,430 --> 00:03:59,560
I remember when president
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hosted foreign dignitaries,
poets, royalty.
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00:04:02,890 --> 00:04:04,240
This crowd looks like the cast
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00:04:04,290 --> 00:04:06,320
of National Lampoon's "Crackhouse."
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00:04:06,370 --> 00:04:08,480
- [Attorney General] Heads
of state, crack heads,
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00:04:08,530 --> 00:04:10,300
who can tell the difference nowadays?
80
00:04:10,350 --> 00:04:12,060
- [Agent Tackler] Now
please, Madame Speaker,
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00:04:12,110 --> 00:04:14,930
you're bad mouthing the
president's key supporters.
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00:04:14,980 --> 00:04:16,090
- [Madame Speaker] These
losers couldn't support
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00:04:16,140 --> 00:04:19,300
a jockstrap, nevermind
reelect John Wolfman.
84
00:04:19,350 --> 00:04:20,940
He hasn't a chance in hell.
85
00:04:26,220 --> 00:04:27,910
- [President Wolfman] Just
another day at the office.
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00:04:27,960 --> 00:04:31,610
Be charming, be strong, be diplomatic.
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00:04:31,660 --> 00:04:32,910
Be President, Wolfman.
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- [Agent Tackler] The
country's in the crapper, sure.
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00:04:37,000 --> 00:04:39,440
But if anyone's gonna turn
this ship around, it's Wolfman.
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00:04:39,490 --> 00:04:41,560
And my job's to protect him.
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00:04:41,610 --> 00:04:43,040
- [Madame Speaker] And mine's
to block him in Congress.
92
00:04:43,090 --> 00:04:45,010
That's precisely what I intend to do
93
00:04:45,060 --> 00:04:47,450
if he won't support the
Chinese buyout package.
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00:04:47,500 --> 00:04:48,280
- [Agent Tackler] The man's been under
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00:04:48,330 --> 00:04:49,990
a great deal of stress.
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00:04:50,040 --> 00:04:51,390
- [Attorney General] I
heard he hasn't had sex
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00:04:51,440 --> 00:04:52,780
since his wife passed away.
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00:04:52,830 --> 00:04:54,160
- [Madame Speaker] I
heard he hasn't had sex
99
00:04:54,210 --> 00:04:55,470
since his Bar Mitzvah.
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00:04:55,520 --> 00:04:56,860
- [Attorney General] I
didn't know he was Jewish.
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00:04:56,910 --> 00:04:58,530
- [Madame Speaker] Yes, short for
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00:04:58,580 --> 00:05:00,920
Wolfmanowiczsteinoscheinberg-Cohen.
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- [Female Guest] Here comes the President.
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All rise! (laughs)
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- [Male Guest] I would, but
I'm already erect! (laughs)
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00:05:08,510 --> 00:05:09,850
- [President Wolfman] Who
the hell are these people?
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Except you.
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- [Female Guest] Hello, pimp.
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- [Madame Speaker] President
Wolfman, you're not
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still upset about that
little filibuster today, huh?
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00:05:19,020 --> 00:05:20,250
- [President Wolfman] No,
Dorothy, I've committed
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to working with Congress this year.
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00:05:21,790 --> 00:05:23,540
- [Madame Speaker] You know
I'm only busting your balls.
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00:05:23,590 --> 00:05:24,510
- [President Wolfman] Sure.
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- [VP Mangle] Madame Speaker, gentlemen.
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You won't mind if I borrow
the boss here for a moment?
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- [Madame Speaker] Ooh, a
meeting with the Vice President.
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00:05:31,600 --> 00:05:34,270
Must be a real matter
of national security.
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- [VP Mangle] Now I know why
they call you Madame Speaker.
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You never shut the fuck up.
(Madame Speaker gasps)
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May I see you in the other room?
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- [President Wolfman] Of course.
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- [VP Mangle] We actually have
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something important to discuss.
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- [Attorney General]
Don't let him sell you
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00:05:46,650 --> 00:05:49,720
any Boy Scout cookies, he's a pervert!
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00:05:55,770 --> 00:05:56,730
- [VP Mangle] I know you're tired, John,
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00:05:56,780 --> 00:05:59,650
and I know the political
deadlock is wearing you down.
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00:05:59,700 --> 00:06:02,190
Here's what else I know:
the economy's in trouble,
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00:06:02,240 --> 00:06:04,050
and I know people are
starving in the streets,
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00:06:04,100 --> 00:06:06,880
eating garbage, and stray
animals and each other.
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00:06:06,930 --> 00:06:08,120
I know the death of your wife,
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00:06:08,170 --> 00:06:11,130
whether called a suicide
or not actually was suicide
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00:06:11,180 --> 00:06:13,300
because she was inconsolably depressed.
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00:06:13,350 --> 00:06:15,120
I know she wanted to have a second child
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00:06:15,170 --> 00:06:17,240
and couldn't because you
were deemed infertile,
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00:06:17,290 --> 00:06:20,080
which doesn't go very far in
explaining your son, Bobby.
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00:06:20,130 --> 00:06:22,510
I know your mother tormented you sexually.
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00:06:22,560 --> 00:06:25,110
And one more thing I know
you left a men's lavatory
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00:06:25,160 --> 00:06:27,290
after urinating without
washing your hands,
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00:06:27,340 --> 00:06:29,490
then proceeded to serve
lunch at a homeless shelter
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00:06:29,540 --> 00:06:32,300
for gay and lesbian republican
children with Down syndrome.
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00:06:32,350 --> 00:06:33,670
- [President Wolfman] That's enough, Ed.
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- [Bobby] Has anyone seen my father?
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00:06:35,950 --> 00:06:38,450
- [Male Guest] Come on in,
Bobby, join the party, kid.
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00:06:38,500 --> 00:06:39,790
- [Male Guest In Glasses]
Shouldn't he be with his Mom?
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00:06:39,840 --> 00:06:41,290
- [Male Guest] He should, but she's dead!
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00:06:41,340 --> 00:06:42,970
- [Blond Female Guest]
Wasn't it a car crash?
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00:06:43,020 --> 00:06:45,320
- [Female Guest] Yeah,
she was shit faced drunk.
150
00:06:45,370 --> 00:06:46,700
- [Madame Speaker] And
tripping on mushrooms.
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00:06:46,750 --> 00:06:47,910
That's what I heard.
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00:06:48,790 --> 00:06:50,240
- [VP Mangle] This trade
agreement with China,
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00:06:50,290 --> 00:06:51,940
well, it's not so much an agreement.
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00:06:51,990 --> 00:06:53,880
It's more like they're buying us outright
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00:06:53,930 --> 00:06:56,460
and turning our citizens
into white slaves.
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00:06:56,510 --> 00:06:58,690
Anyway, it comes before Congress this week
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00:06:58,740 --> 00:07:00,710
and a lot of people think it can pass.
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00:07:00,760 --> 00:07:02,350
If it makes it through the Senate,
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00:07:02,400 --> 00:07:05,920
the only thing to stop it
would be your power of veto.
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00:07:05,970 --> 00:07:06,870
- [President Wolfman]
It won't come to that.
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00:07:06,920 --> 00:07:08,120
The people won't stand for it.
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00:07:08,170 --> 00:07:10,750
- [VP Mangle] They're in favor, 67%.
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00:07:10,800 --> 00:07:12,070
That's what the polls say.
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00:07:12,120 --> 00:07:13,500
- [President Wolfman] I
don't listen to polls, Ed,
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00:07:13,550 --> 00:07:15,260
because polls can't talk.
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00:07:15,310 --> 00:07:18,090
They're tall pieces of wood
used for hanging telephone wires
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00:07:18,140 --> 00:07:19,910
and escaped bears.
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00:07:19,960 --> 00:07:21,150
- [VP Mangle] You should, John.
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00:07:21,200 --> 00:07:23,270
We've got a tough
re-election bid this year
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00:07:23,320 --> 00:07:25,470
and you need all the votes you can get.
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00:07:25,520 --> 00:07:27,080
Here's what we're up against.
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00:07:27,130 --> 00:07:29,210
OK, Bill, roll the film!
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00:07:35,480 --> 00:07:36,280
- [Spokesperson] I'm so excited
174
00:07:36,330 --> 00:07:38,890
about a new business
opportunity for our nation.
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00:07:38,940 --> 00:07:40,530
It's called Chimerica.
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00:07:40,580 --> 00:07:43,080
By merging with China,
we will fix our economy
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00:07:43,130 --> 00:07:46,520
and be permanently free
of debt, in the black.
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00:07:46,570 --> 00:07:49,450
Tell Congress to vote yes
on the Chinese buyout.
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00:07:49,500 --> 00:07:51,210
Then we can all cheer for the red,
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00:07:51,260 --> 00:07:53,540
white and red and blue and red.
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00:07:53,590 --> 00:07:56,130
Chimerica, it just makes sense.
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00:07:56,180 --> 00:07:57,860
It's good for America.
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00:07:57,910 --> 00:08:00,550
It's good business for America.
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00:08:00,600 --> 00:08:02,060
- [Announcer] Paid for by Americans
185
00:08:02,110 --> 00:08:05,040
for a Better Future After America.
186
00:08:05,090 --> 00:08:06,050
- [President Wolfman]
Who the hell are they?
187
00:08:06,100 --> 00:08:07,680
- [VP Mangle] A group of super lobbyists
188
00:08:07,730 --> 00:08:09,230
led by Maude Atkins.
189
00:08:09,280 --> 00:08:11,190
The Chinese government's
paid them millions
190
00:08:11,240 --> 00:08:12,930
to sugar coat this thing for the public
191
00:08:12,980 --> 00:08:14,670
and make it look like a great deal!
192
00:08:14,720 --> 00:08:15,720
Bullshit!
193
00:08:15,770 --> 00:08:17,150
- [President Wolfman] I
swear on a stack of my life
194
00:08:17,200 --> 00:08:19,210
I won't let that Bill to pass.
195
00:08:19,260 --> 00:08:21,000
- [VP Mangle] He wasn't
talking to you, Bill.
196
00:08:21,050 --> 00:08:22,280
Go ahead, you can pass.
197
00:08:23,370 --> 00:08:25,840
(gong rings)
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00:08:25,890 --> 00:08:29,580
- [Xiao Peng] One for you,
one for you, one for you.
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00:08:29,630 --> 00:08:31,380
Drink up, everybody.
200
00:08:31,430 --> 00:08:33,850
Quench yourselves on the blood of America.
201
00:08:33,900 --> 00:08:38,040
Soon we will be drinking
gold in their streets.
202
00:08:38,090 --> 00:08:39,700
You like that, huh?
203
00:08:39,750 --> 00:08:42,100
- [Chinese Females] Yes,
President Xiao Peng.
204
00:08:42,150 --> 00:08:44,320
- [Xiao Peng] I'll tell ya, this USA deal
205
00:08:44,370 --> 00:08:48,020
is so close I can hear
the hormones dripping
206
00:08:48,070 --> 00:08:50,970
from their plastic
processed cheeseburgers.
207
00:08:51,820 --> 00:08:54,720
America under Chinese rule?
208
00:08:54,770 --> 00:08:59,630
I'll christen it The Xiao
Peng Death Dynasty of Death!
209
00:08:59,680 --> 00:09:01,260
- [Teen Female Guest] I know, dude,
210
00:09:01,310 --> 00:09:02,830
ever since they legalized drugs,
211
00:09:02,880 --> 00:09:04,980
it's impossible to find work as a dealer.
212
00:09:05,030 --> 00:09:06,040
- [Teen Male Guest]
Unless you know somebody.
213
00:09:06,090 --> 00:09:07,280
- [Teen Female Guest] Tell me about it.
214
00:09:07,330 --> 00:09:10,420
Nepotism is alive and
well and living in DC.
215
00:09:11,980 --> 00:09:12,860
(door knocks)
216
00:09:12,910 --> 00:09:14,030
- [Agent Tackler] Bobby, your father says
217
00:09:14,080 --> 00:09:15,560
it's time to hit the sack.
218
00:09:15,610 --> 00:09:17,260
Lights out, now.
219
00:09:17,310 --> 00:09:18,540
- [Bobby] Okay, sir.
220
00:09:18,590 --> 00:09:21,210
I wish Dad and me could be together more.
221
00:09:21,260 --> 00:09:24,240
He's always busy and gets angry sometimes,
222
00:09:24,290 --> 00:09:27,380
but I think it's because
he's the President.
223
00:09:27,430 --> 00:09:30,040
One day we'll go on that camping trip.
224
00:09:30,090 --> 00:09:33,220
The one we were supposed
to take the day Mommy died.
225
00:09:33,270 --> 00:09:36,290
It was summer break and
we were at Camp David.
226
00:09:37,360 --> 00:09:38,250
- [President Wolfman]
The tents are all ready.
227
00:09:38,300 --> 00:09:40,190
This is gonna be some trip, son.
228
00:09:40,240 --> 00:09:41,020
Here's your bone.
229
00:09:41,070 --> 00:09:42,680
- [Missis Wolfman] I'm
going out for a joy ride.
230
00:09:42,730 --> 00:09:43,750
I'll be back.
231
00:09:43,800 --> 00:09:44,590
- [President Wolfman] Okay, honey.
232
00:09:44,640 --> 00:09:46,010
- [Bobby] Bye, Mom!
233
00:09:46,060 --> 00:09:47,950
She wasn't the best driver,
234
00:09:48,000 --> 00:09:50,500
and Mom had gotten in
close scrapes before.
235
00:09:50,550 --> 00:09:54,190
Once, she and her boyfriend
were speeding down Route 81,
236
00:09:54,240 --> 00:09:56,160
not paying attention to the road
237
00:09:56,210 --> 00:09:58,420
and almost blew up a gas truck.
238
00:09:58,470 --> 00:10:00,640
But today was different.
239
00:10:00,690 --> 00:10:03,670
Maybe it was the pressure
of being First Lady.
240
00:10:03,720 --> 00:10:07,290
Always in the spotlight,
having to be perfect.
241
00:10:07,340 --> 00:10:08,970
It seemed to push her into an abyss
242
00:10:09,020 --> 00:10:10,570
from which she couldn't return.
243
00:10:10,620 --> 00:10:12,070
(screams)
244
00:10:12,120 --> 00:10:14,580
That was the last time I saw her,
245
00:10:14,630 --> 00:10:16,090
unless you count the charred remains
246
00:10:16,140 --> 00:10:17,970
they pulled from the wreckage.
247
00:10:18,020 --> 00:10:19,560
It rained at the funeral.
248
00:10:19,610 --> 00:10:23,840
I think it did, I can't
remember, it's all blurry, now.
249
00:10:23,890 --> 00:10:27,310
Dad was a mess,
heartbroken and distraught.
250
00:10:27,360 --> 00:10:30,570
Sometimes I have these horrible dreams
251
00:10:30,620 --> 00:10:33,760
that he and I are in the
woods in sleeping bags.
252
00:10:33,810 --> 00:10:35,900
I feel somebody standing over me.
253
00:10:35,950 --> 00:10:37,890
But it isn't a person, it's--
254
00:10:37,940 --> 00:10:38,720
- [President Wolfman] Wake up, Bobby,
255
00:10:38,770 --> 00:10:40,030
I've got to get to work.
256
00:10:40,080 --> 00:10:42,390
- [Bobby] Dad, I had nightmares again.
257
00:10:42,440 --> 00:10:45,330
You would never hurt me, would you?
258
00:10:45,380 --> 00:10:46,910
- [President Wolfman] Well,
that all depends on what you did
259
00:10:46,960 --> 00:10:49,150
and if it deserved that
type of punishment.
260
00:10:49,200 --> 00:10:51,360
- [Bobby] What if I was really bad?
261
00:10:51,410 --> 00:10:52,450
If I killed people?
262
00:10:52,500 --> 00:10:53,560
- [President Wolfman] Killed them?
263
00:10:53,610 --> 00:10:55,660
- [Bobby] Yeah, and then I ate them.
264
00:10:55,710 --> 00:10:56,730
- [President Wolfman] How
about we take a vacation?
265
00:10:56,780 --> 00:10:57,870
- [Bobby] Yeah!
266
00:10:57,920 --> 00:11:00,260
(drum roll)
267
00:11:01,410 --> 00:11:03,030
- [Captain Jones] Welcome
aboard Air Force One.
268
00:11:03,080 --> 00:11:05,690
We expect smooth flying
today en route to Arizona,
269
00:11:05,740 --> 00:11:08,480
also known as the Show Me State.
270
00:11:08,530 --> 00:11:10,360
The National bird here is the roadrunner,
271
00:11:10,410 --> 00:11:12,260
the state flower is cactus.
272
00:11:12,310 --> 00:11:14,860
The state person is poor and unemployed,
273
00:11:14,910 --> 00:11:17,620
with at least one sexually
transmitted disease.
274
00:11:17,670 --> 00:11:19,760
At this time I invite you to gaze out
275
00:11:19,810 --> 00:11:22,520
over our magnificent American landscape.
276
00:11:22,570 --> 00:11:25,570
From the highest mountaintops
to abundant wheat fields
277
00:11:25,620 --> 00:11:27,570
and breathtaking natural breasts,
278
00:11:27,620 --> 00:11:29,720
this truly is God's country.
279
00:11:29,770 --> 00:11:32,650
So sit back, relax and enjoy your flight.
280
00:11:32,700 --> 00:11:35,330
You may now turn on your
electronic appliances.
281
00:11:35,380 --> 00:11:38,220
- [Bobby] Wow, Dad, look down there.
282
00:11:38,270 --> 00:11:40,260
I see the Grand Canyon.
283
00:11:40,310 --> 00:11:41,940
- [President Wolfman] No,
that's where the giant asteroid
284
00:11:41,990 --> 00:11:42,770
hit that wiped out
285
00:11:42,820 --> 00:11:44,940
around two thirds of
the Earth's population.
286
00:11:44,990 --> 00:11:45,940
- [Bobby] Oh.
287
00:11:45,990 --> 00:11:47,200
When did that happen?
288
00:11:47,250 --> 00:11:49,350
- [President Wolfman] Like, two weeks ago.
289
00:11:50,570 --> 00:11:54,100
(dramatic drum music)
290
00:11:54,150 --> 00:11:55,380
- [Head Agent] Listen up, men.
291
00:11:55,430 --> 00:11:57,000
President Wolfman's come to our state
292
00:11:57,050 --> 00:11:58,400
for a relaxing weekend of hunting
293
00:11:58,450 --> 00:12:01,370
and I promised he'd leave
with a few prize stags.
294
00:12:01,420 --> 00:12:03,600
Trouble is, he's a terrible shot.
295
00:12:03,650 --> 00:12:06,540
He couldn't hit Zach Galifianakis
with a wrecking ball.
296
00:12:06,590 --> 00:12:09,650
Your mission is to ensure he
doesn't go home disappointed.
297
00:12:09,700 --> 00:12:12,310
You'll trail him, discreetly
and at a distance.
298
00:12:12,360 --> 00:12:15,680
When the President raises his
gun, you will raise your guns.
299
00:12:15,730 --> 00:12:17,980
When he shoots, you will shoot.
300
00:12:18,030 --> 00:12:19,870
If any living thing within 10 mile
301
00:12:19,920 --> 00:12:21,400
of this hell hole survives today,
302
00:12:21,450 --> 00:12:23,230
you have failed in your duty.
303
00:12:23,280 --> 00:12:25,350
The country's depending on you, men.
304
00:12:25,400 --> 00:12:26,180
Is that clear?
305
00:12:26,230 --> 00:12:27,360
It's what you got (mumbles).
306
00:12:27,410 --> 00:12:29,980
- [Secret Service Members] Sir, yes, sir.
307
00:12:30,030 --> 00:12:31,990
- [Captain Jones] Prime
ground here, Mister President.
308
00:12:32,040 --> 00:12:32,830
- [President Wolfman] You were right
309
00:12:32,880 --> 00:12:33,830
about this place, Jonesy.
310
00:12:33,880 --> 00:12:35,110
Yellowstone's been kind of dead
311
00:12:35,160 --> 00:12:37,690
since we poisoned the river
last spring to catch bison.
312
00:12:37,740 --> 00:12:39,560
Where are we, State Park?
313
00:12:39,610 --> 00:12:41,380
- [Captain Jones] Apache
Indian Reservation.
314
00:12:41,430 --> 00:12:42,680
- [President Wolfman] And you've
obtained the proper permits
315
00:12:42,730 --> 00:12:43,700
to shoot game on their land?
316
00:12:43,750 --> 00:12:46,140
- [Captain Jones] Uh,
sure, we signed a treaty.
317
00:12:46,190 --> 00:12:47,830
(crows caw)
318
00:12:47,880 --> 00:12:48,890
- [President Wolfman] Look at it, Bobby.
319
00:12:48,940 --> 00:12:51,080
This is America the beautiful,
320
00:12:51,130 --> 00:12:52,680
the one they write songs about.
321
00:12:52,730 --> 00:12:55,450
Not Washington DC, with its dirty politics
322
00:12:55,500 --> 00:12:58,930
and corruption and cocaine
and masquerade orgies
323
00:12:58,980 --> 00:13:01,130
with those bird beak mask.
324
00:13:01,180 --> 00:13:04,080
- [Bobby] Don't give up
fighting those politicians, Dad.
325
00:13:04,130 --> 00:13:07,730
You always said one strong
voice can change the world.
326
00:13:07,780 --> 00:13:08,560
- [President Wolfman] I don't know
327
00:13:08,610 --> 00:13:10,410
how much voice I have left, Bobby.
328
00:13:10,460 --> 00:13:13,150
I'm outnumbered, can't get anything done.
329
00:13:13,200 --> 00:13:14,450
Sometimes I feel like giving up.
330
00:13:14,500 --> 00:13:18,020
- [Bobby] The Chinese are
really gonna like it here, huh?
331
00:13:18,070 --> 00:13:20,050
- [President Wolfman] I'm
afraid I let you down, Bobby.
332
00:13:20,100 --> 00:13:22,460
I've let down your whole generation.
333
00:13:24,800 --> 00:13:26,110
- [Indian Woman] Chief Running Water!
334
00:13:26,160 --> 00:13:28,370
Stranger with gun, they come to our land!
335
00:13:31,430 --> 00:13:32,210
- [President Wolfman] There's a family!
336
00:13:32,260 --> 00:13:33,120
- [Bobby] But, Dad--
337
00:13:33,170 --> 00:13:34,030
- [President Wolfman] Okay, son,
338
00:13:34,080 --> 00:13:35,860
let's find a single gay buck.
339
00:13:37,090 --> 00:13:38,290
- [Bobby] Here!
340
00:13:38,340 --> 00:13:39,690
- [President Wolfman] Got
a nice clear shot, steady.
341
00:13:39,740 --> 00:13:40,620
- [Head Agent] Wait.
342
00:13:40,670 --> 00:13:41,450
- [President Wolfman] Steady.
343
00:13:41,500 --> 00:13:42,290
- [Head Agent] Wait.
344
00:13:42,340 --> 00:13:43,940
- [President Wolfman] Steady; now!
345
00:13:43,990 --> 00:13:46,330
(gun shots)
346
00:13:48,870 --> 00:13:49,830
Now!
347
00:13:49,880 --> 00:13:54,880
(gun shots)
(grenades whistle)
348
00:13:56,120 --> 00:13:57,910
- [Chief Running Water] They
ravage our sacred ground
349
00:13:57,960 --> 00:13:58,860
for the last time.
350
00:13:59,730 --> 00:14:01,670
Summon the Coyowolf!
351
00:14:01,720 --> 00:14:04,800
His spirit will conquer the white chief.
352
00:14:04,850 --> 00:14:06,770
Coyowolf, make revenge!
353
00:14:08,460 --> 00:14:11,310
(coyote howls)
354
00:14:11,360 --> 00:14:12,140
- [President Wolfman] What was that?
355
00:14:12,190 --> 00:14:13,860
- [Bobby] There's
something coming behind us.
356
00:14:13,910 --> 00:14:16,680
It's a coyote or some kind of wolf!
357
00:14:16,730 --> 00:14:18,190
- [President Wolfman] Run,
Bobby, I'll take care of him.
358
00:14:18,240 --> 00:14:19,970
- [Bobby] But Dad, look out.
359
00:14:20,020 --> 00:14:21,270
Dad, help, Dad!
360
00:14:23,540 --> 00:14:25,600
But Dad, look out.
361
00:14:25,650 --> 00:14:26,990
Dad, help, help!
362
00:14:28,060 --> 00:14:29,830
(coyote growls)
363
00:14:29,880 --> 00:14:30,990
Dad!
364
00:14:31,040 --> 00:14:32,330
(yells)
365
00:14:32,380 --> 00:14:35,490
- [President Wolfman] No; Secret Service!
366
00:14:35,540 --> 00:14:40,540
(airplane whirs)
(drumming music)
367
00:14:46,870 --> 00:14:48,030
- [Kitchen Supervisor]
Listen up, everybody.
368
00:14:48,080 --> 00:14:51,120
We've got a special VIP,
very important patient
369
00:14:51,170 --> 00:14:54,860
in our hospital and I want
all of you to be in top form.
370
00:14:54,910 --> 00:14:57,040
- [Female Kitchen Worker]
Hope nobody shits in his food.
371
00:14:57,090 --> 00:15:00,600
- [Male Kitchen Worker] Yep,
I got a nice loaf for him.
372
00:15:00,650 --> 00:15:03,620
- [Male Kitchen Worker
With Mustache] Fuck it.
373
00:15:03,670 --> 00:15:05,690
- [Nurse With Glasses] Good morning.
374
00:15:05,740 --> 00:15:07,360
- [Nurse In Cap] You got the lucky shift,
375
00:15:07,410 --> 00:15:09,000
guess who you're assigned to?
376
00:15:09,050 --> 00:15:11,460
President John Wolfman himself.
377
00:15:11,510 --> 00:15:13,140
You need to shave his balls,
378
00:15:13,190 --> 00:15:15,580
take his butt temperature in his butt
379
00:15:15,630 --> 00:15:17,470
and make sure to get a penis sample.
380
00:15:17,520 --> 00:15:19,350
- [Nurse With Glasses] Okay, thank you.
381
00:15:20,700 --> 00:15:21,480
- [Doctor] Hello, John.
382
00:15:21,530 --> 00:15:23,720
Haven't seen you since the naval academy.
383
00:15:23,770 --> 00:15:26,830
I remember when we used to
fondle each other's genitals.
384
00:15:26,880 --> 00:15:28,010
Oh, have you met Missis Johnson?
385
00:15:28,060 --> 00:15:30,350
- [President Wolfman]
Fondly, yeah, how do you do?
386
00:15:30,400 --> 00:15:31,950
- [Doctor] We're going
to run a series of tests,
387
00:15:32,000 --> 00:15:33,060
nothing too invasive.
388
00:15:33,110 --> 00:15:34,700
It seems that coyote was infected
389
00:15:34,750 --> 00:15:36,050
with a rare bacterial agent
390
00:15:36,100 --> 00:15:38,280
that's doing quite a
number on your system.
391
00:15:38,330 --> 00:15:39,290
- [President Wolfman] Should I be worried?
392
00:15:39,340 --> 00:15:41,200
- [Doctor] This is a state
of the art medical facility
393
00:15:41,250 --> 00:15:43,510
and you'll be receiving
the highest level of care
394
00:15:43,560 --> 00:15:45,100
from the best team of doctors
395
00:15:45,150 --> 00:15:48,880
and the most sophisticated
medical technology on the planet.
396
00:15:48,930 --> 00:15:51,170
Whatever's swimming around
inside that bloodstream of yours
397
00:15:51,220 --> 00:15:53,610
will be identified,
diagnosed and eradicated
398
00:15:53,660 --> 00:15:55,070
before you can say guinea pig.
399
00:15:55,120 --> 00:15:57,250
- [President Wolfman] Okay, Doc.
400
00:15:57,300 --> 00:15:58,910
I just wish I didn't feel so strange.
401
00:15:58,960 --> 00:16:00,890
- [Doctor] Try and get some rest.
402
00:16:03,720 --> 00:16:08,720
(disturbing music)
(growls)
403
00:16:13,330 --> 00:16:14,930
- [President Wolfman] Get away!
404
00:16:14,980 --> 00:16:16,380
No, stop!
405
00:16:16,430 --> 00:16:18,510
(growls)
406
00:16:25,040 --> 00:16:25,950
What did you say, Phillips?
407
00:16:26,000 --> 00:16:27,380
- [Press Secretary] As
far as the public knows,
408
00:16:27,430 --> 00:16:29,110
you suffered chest pains and collapsed
409
00:16:29,160 --> 00:16:31,430
while speaking to a group of
blind Islamic clerical workers.
410
00:16:31,480 --> 00:16:32,760
- [President Wolfman] Ah, good cover.
411
00:16:32,810 --> 00:16:34,060
- [Press Secretary] According
to these test results,
412
00:16:34,110 --> 00:16:36,990
you've got the DNA of
a canine half your age.
413
00:16:37,040 --> 00:16:38,130
Better take it easy.
414
00:16:38,180 --> 00:16:38,960
- [President Wolfman]
I can't take it easy,
415
00:16:39,010 --> 00:16:40,620
I've got that party at
the White House tonight
416
00:16:40,670 --> 00:16:42,720
for the Miss American
Junior Miss contestants.
417
00:16:42,770 --> 00:16:43,550
- [Press Secretary] Go about your duties,
418
00:16:43,600 --> 00:16:46,200
but try to avoid stressful
conflicts and fire hydrants.
419
00:16:46,250 --> 00:16:47,160
- [President Wolfman] Turn up the volume,
420
00:16:47,210 --> 00:16:48,180
I want to hear this.
421
00:16:48,230 --> 00:16:50,160
- [Newscaster] Who, from
his secret laboratory
422
00:16:50,210 --> 00:16:52,440
in the basement of the
Smithsonian Institute,
423
00:16:52,490 --> 00:16:56,200
has made a medical breakthrough
involving man's best friend.
424
00:16:56,250 --> 00:16:58,980
Be advised that these
scenes may be offensive
425
00:16:59,030 --> 00:17:03,000
to some dog lovers and hilarious
to those who prefer cats.
426
00:17:03,050 --> 00:17:04,760
- [Doctor Timotito] My experimentation
427
00:17:04,810 --> 00:17:07,680
with canis lupus familiaris
428
00:17:07,730 --> 00:17:10,330
began as a young genealogy student,
429
00:17:10,380 --> 00:17:14,290
when I would capture stray
dogs and remove their organs
430
00:17:14,340 --> 00:17:17,800
for research and to feed my family.
431
00:17:17,850 --> 00:17:20,750
I soon discovered that I could revive
432
00:17:20,800 --> 00:17:22,260
the internal functions--
433
00:17:22,310 --> 00:17:25,040
- [Physician] This is your
balance due, Missis Johnson.
434
00:17:25,090 --> 00:17:26,820
- [Missis Johnson] This dumb
(mumbles) fill up this bag
435
00:17:26,870 --> 00:17:29,660
three fucking time, they
never come over to change it.
436
00:17:29,710 --> 00:17:31,370
- [Doctor Timotito] I was able
to keep one subject's heart
437
00:17:31,420 --> 00:17:34,130
alive for 19 years.
438
00:17:34,180 --> 00:17:35,620
Next, I tried--
439
00:17:35,670 --> 00:17:37,430
- [Missis Johnson] I
ring the goddamn buzzer,
440
00:17:37,480 --> 00:17:39,880
nobody ever don't come, nobody.
441
00:17:39,930 --> 00:17:42,520
- [Doctor Timotito] But I
found that I had inadvertently
442
00:17:42,570 --> 00:17:45,860
created a new species: the pet lung.
443
00:17:45,910 --> 00:17:47,080
- [Newscaster] While pet lungs
444
00:17:47,130 --> 00:17:48,880
never caught on with the public,
445
00:17:48,930 --> 00:17:53,180
Doctor Timotito's greatest
triumph came earlier this year,
446
00:17:53,230 --> 00:17:56,310
when he succesfully
removed a canine's head
447
00:17:56,360 --> 00:17:58,870
- [Doctor Timotito] I have
now successfully determined
448
00:17:58,920 --> 00:18:03,620
that the animal require less
care than a traditional canine.
449
00:18:03,670 --> 00:18:05,990
- [Newscaster] This little
fellow enjoys a good
450
00:18:06,040 --> 00:18:08,420
tickle now and then.
451
00:18:08,470 --> 00:18:11,410
A variety of tests were
performed on the subject,
452
00:18:11,460 --> 00:18:14,030
all with spectacular results.
453
00:18:14,080 --> 00:18:17,040
Doctor Timotito even tried giving the dog
454
00:18:17,090 --> 00:18:21,330
a small amount of LSD,
the hallucinogenic drug
455
00:18:21,380 --> 00:18:24,140
popular with negro jazz musicians.
456
00:18:24,190 --> 00:18:27,620
("I see you" by Electric Banana)
457
00:18:27,670 --> 00:18:29,690
- [Doctor Timotito] One day, I'll replace
458
00:18:29,740 --> 00:18:32,560
the head of a dog with that of a man.
459
00:18:32,610 --> 00:18:34,470
- [Newscaster] To test
the doctor's claims,
460
00:18:34,520 --> 00:18:37,850
we decided to have a
little fun with a hammer.
461
00:18:39,240 --> 00:18:40,490
Pretty annoying, right?
462
00:18:41,820 --> 00:18:42,600
Well, our furry companion
463
00:18:42,650 --> 00:18:44,250
didn't seem to appreciate it much--
464
00:18:48,930 --> 00:18:50,410
- [President Wolfman]
(grunts) Nurse, help me.
465
00:18:50,460 --> 00:18:52,760
(growls) Nurse!
466
00:18:52,810 --> 00:18:54,000
- [Nurse] Oh, Mister President!
467
00:18:54,050 --> 00:18:55,620
Mister President, are you all right?
468
00:18:55,670 --> 00:18:56,450
- [President Wolfman] I
can't take it anymore.
469
00:18:56,500 --> 00:18:59,170
Get that television out of here, please!
470
00:18:59,220 --> 00:19:00,670
- [Doctor] Good news, Mister President,
471
00:19:00,720 --> 00:19:02,340
you're a fucking werewolf.
472
00:19:02,390 --> 00:19:03,960
You've been cleared for discharge.
473
00:19:04,010 --> 00:19:05,450
- [President Wolfman] Oh, thank god!
474
00:19:05,500 --> 00:19:06,280
- [Nurse In Glasses] Your motorcade's
475
00:19:06,330 --> 00:19:07,560
waiting out front, sir.
476
00:19:07,610 --> 00:19:09,270
We're sending you home.
477
00:19:10,270 --> 00:19:13,250
- [Missis Johnson] God be
with you, Mister President.
478
00:19:13,300 --> 00:19:16,440
♪ President Wolfman ♪
479
00:19:16,490 --> 00:19:17,600
(sirens)
480
00:19:17,650 --> 00:19:19,880
(upbeat jazz music)
481
00:19:19,930 --> 00:19:21,120
- [Junior Miss Contestant]
The Miss America
482
00:19:21,170 --> 00:19:24,510
Junior Miss competition
is the longest running
483
00:19:24,560 --> 00:19:27,410
and most prestigious of any pageant.
484
00:19:27,460 --> 00:19:30,700
Carefully selected young
ladies from every state
485
00:19:30,750 --> 00:19:34,010
in the Union are selected for their poise,
486
00:19:34,060 --> 00:19:37,140
beauty, ability and intelligences.
487
00:19:37,190 --> 00:19:38,580
- [Madame Speaker] You
know, Mister President,
488
00:19:38,630 --> 00:19:41,160
I think the company of one
of these nubile young things
489
00:19:41,210 --> 00:19:43,530
could be just the recipe
to boost your spirits.
490
00:19:43,580 --> 00:19:44,620
- [President Wolfman] I
couldn't, Madame Speaker.
491
00:19:44,670 --> 00:19:45,450
- [Madame Speaker] Really?
492
00:19:45,500 --> 00:19:46,490
- [President Wolfman] Maybe Miss Utah.
493
00:19:46,540 --> 00:19:49,300
- [Junior Miss Contestant]
Unfortunately, strict regulations
494
00:19:49,350 --> 00:19:52,880
state that no Miss American
Junior Miss contestant
495
00:19:52,930 --> 00:19:57,220
may fraternize with a member
of the U.S. government.
496
00:19:57,270 --> 00:20:00,890
But we are so very grateful
to the people of Washington
497
00:20:00,940 --> 00:20:04,090
for giving us such a warm
and wonderful introduction
498
00:20:04,140 --> 00:20:05,580
to the capital city.
499
00:20:05,630 --> 00:20:07,080
- [Madame Speaker] Well, good luck, dear.
500
00:20:07,130 --> 00:20:07,990
With tits like those
501
00:20:08,040 --> 00:20:09,810
she's got an excellent shot at the title.
502
00:20:09,860 --> 00:20:11,670
- [Junior Miss Contestant]
Here comes our chaperone,
503
00:20:11,720 --> 00:20:13,530
Sandra O'Connor.
504
00:20:13,580 --> 00:20:14,850
Sandy?
505
00:20:14,900 --> 00:20:15,970
Sandy!
506
00:20:16,020 --> 00:20:17,330
Over here!
507
00:20:17,380 --> 00:20:20,410
- [Sandra] Hello, I've heard
so much about all of you.
508
00:20:20,460 --> 00:20:21,870
- [President Wolfman] Me too as well.
509
00:20:21,920 --> 00:20:25,190
- [Madame Speaker] Whoa, somebody
just got a bonus feature.
510
00:20:25,240 --> 00:20:27,760
We'd better go before he
pokes a hole in that tux.
511
00:20:27,810 --> 00:20:28,790
(blower whistles)
512
00:20:28,840 --> 00:20:31,780
- [Junior Miss Contestant]
I'm single; how about you?
513
00:20:31,830 --> 00:20:35,100
- [Senator] I'm not married very much.
514
00:20:35,150 --> 00:20:36,120
- [Senator With Black
Tie] Are you enjoying
515
00:20:36,170 --> 00:20:37,530
the sights, young lady?
516
00:20:37,580 --> 00:20:39,000
- [Junior Miss Contestant
In Red] Guys in Washington
517
00:20:39,050 --> 00:20:41,440
are really hot.
518
00:20:41,490 --> 00:20:42,600
- [President Wolfman] So, what's it like
519
00:20:42,650 --> 00:20:44,530
to play den mother to 50 rambunctious,
520
00:20:44,580 --> 00:20:46,160
vibrant, plucky pageant hopefuls?
521
00:20:46,210 --> 00:20:47,820
- [Sandra] It's 49, actually.
522
00:20:47,870 --> 00:20:49,360
Puerto Rico wasn't invited.
523
00:20:49,410 --> 00:20:50,400
- [President Wolfman] Oh, I see.
524
00:20:50,450 --> 00:20:52,920
- [Sandra] We'll be in rehearsal
all day before the show,
525
00:20:52,970 --> 00:20:53,850
but my nights are free.
526
00:20:53,900 --> 00:20:56,010
- [President Wolfman] Stay here with me.
527
00:20:56,060 --> 00:20:58,400
- [Sandra] Oh my God,
I was totally kidding.
528
00:20:58,450 --> 00:21:01,290
My schedule is so packed I
don't have time to see you.
529
00:21:01,340 --> 00:21:03,510
Besides, I could never
live up to your wife.
530
00:21:03,560 --> 00:21:04,350
- [President Wolfman] What?
531
00:21:04,400 --> 00:21:05,980
Aren't you jumping ahead a bit?
532
00:21:06,030 --> 00:21:08,580
- [Sandra] Silly me, I always jump ahead.
533
00:21:08,630 --> 00:21:10,500
I'll bring my things over
first thing in the morning.
534
00:21:10,550 --> 00:21:13,010
- [Male Party Guest] That's
awesome that is so awesome,
535
00:21:13,060 --> 00:21:14,320
that's awesome!
536
00:21:15,340 --> 00:21:16,430
- [Secret Service Agent] I
don't see your names on here.
537
00:21:16,480 --> 00:21:19,400
- [Hazel] I told you, we're
the new White House interns.
538
00:21:19,450 --> 00:21:20,810
We're on the list.
539
00:21:20,860 --> 00:21:22,290
- [Secret Service Agent]
I still don't see them.
540
00:21:22,340 --> 00:21:23,570
- [Billy Ray] Listen here, my brother
541
00:21:23,620 --> 00:21:26,650
is Congressman Joe Mack
from Chicago, he's inside.
542
00:21:26,700 --> 00:21:28,020
- [Hazel] Please just check again.
543
00:21:28,070 --> 00:21:29,550
- [Secret Service Agent]
Okay, I still don't see
544
00:21:29,600 --> 00:21:30,840
your names on here.
545
00:21:30,890 --> 00:21:33,360
- [Hazel] Congressman Mack
is a very important man.
546
00:21:33,410 --> 00:21:35,970
I don't think he'd appreciate
the way you're treating us.
547
00:21:36,020 --> 00:21:37,760
Come on, Billy Ray, let's go.
548
00:21:37,810 --> 00:21:38,590
- [Billy Ray] Calm down, baby.
549
00:21:38,640 --> 00:21:40,250
- [Hazel] Don't tell me
to calm the fuck down!
550
00:21:40,300 --> 00:21:41,600
Get your brother on the phone!
551
00:21:41,650 --> 00:21:43,900
- [President Wolfman]
It's late, Madame Speaker.
552
00:21:43,950 --> 00:21:45,220
Perhaps you should be getting home.
553
00:21:45,270 --> 00:21:46,610
- [Madame Speaker] I won't
keep you much longer,
554
00:21:46,660 --> 00:21:47,670
Mister President.
555
00:21:47,720 --> 00:21:50,190
You know, the Chinese have
offered every member of Congress
556
00:21:50,240 --> 00:21:52,150
their own skyscraper in New York City
557
00:21:52,200 --> 00:21:54,320
to live in after the takeover.
558
00:21:54,370 --> 00:21:56,550
And you get the Empire State Building.
559
00:21:56,600 --> 00:21:58,630
All you need to do is sign the agreement.
560
00:21:58,680 --> 00:21:59,470
- [President Wolfman] It'll take more
561
00:21:59,520 --> 00:22:02,510
than a Park Avenue address to
turn the nation over to China.
562
00:22:02,560 --> 00:22:03,880
I believe Congress will
support me on that.
563
00:22:03,930 --> 00:22:06,360
- [Madame Speaker]
They'll do as I tell them.
564
00:22:06,410 --> 00:22:09,040
I want to see Central Park from my window,
565
00:22:09,090 --> 00:22:12,820
not the common street scum
loitering the National Mall.
566
00:22:12,870 --> 00:22:15,120
I hate malls.
567
00:22:15,170 --> 00:22:15,950
- [President Wolfman]
That's funny, Dorothy,
568
00:22:16,000 --> 00:22:16,880
isn't that where you bought that necklace?
569
00:22:16,930 --> 00:22:17,930
- [Congressman Mack] Hey, Wolfman!
570
00:22:17,980 --> 00:22:20,130
What's up with cock blocking my brother?
571
00:22:20,180 --> 00:22:21,770
He's trying to seal the deal with his lady
572
00:22:21,820 --> 00:22:23,370
and you put his dick on ice.
573
00:22:23,420 --> 00:22:24,200
Come on, nigga.
574
00:22:24,250 --> 00:22:25,520
- [President Wolfman] I
apologize, Congressman.
575
00:22:25,570 --> 00:22:27,380
I have nothing to do with the guest list.
576
00:22:27,430 --> 00:22:28,560
- [Congressman Mack] Just
like you had nothing to do
577
00:22:28,610 --> 00:22:31,270
with hiking up the price
of malt liquor in my state?
578
00:22:31,320 --> 00:22:33,310
You want my vote against
the Chinese takeover?
579
00:22:33,360 --> 00:22:35,560
Get my brother in here prontosaurus.
580
00:22:35,610 --> 00:22:37,510
- [President Wolfman] I was
counting on your support, Joe.
581
00:22:37,560 --> 00:22:39,250
- [Congressman Mack] You know
how it works in this town.
582
00:22:39,300 --> 00:22:42,690
You scratch my back, I sue
you for sexual harassment.
583
00:22:42,740 --> 00:22:45,460
Yeah, I've learned that
pronunciation from Gloria Allred.
584
00:22:45,510 --> 00:22:47,120
- [President Wolfman] Have
them call here directly,
585
00:22:47,170 --> 00:22:48,370
I'll make sure they get in.
586
00:22:48,420 --> 00:22:49,910
- [Congressman Mack] You best hope so.
587
00:22:49,960 --> 00:22:51,980
- [Madame Speaker] I'm ready to leave.
588
00:22:52,030 --> 00:22:55,820
Would you be so kind as to
escort me back to my townhouse?
589
00:22:55,870 --> 00:22:59,100
I wouldn't be caught dead
walking around DC after dark
590
00:22:59,150 --> 00:23:00,570
while I'm lonesome.
591
00:23:00,620 --> 00:23:01,400
- [President Wolfman] You go ahead.
592
00:23:01,450 --> 00:23:04,140
I'll catch up to you.
593
00:23:04,190 --> 00:23:07,350
(slow rhythmic music)
594
00:23:12,710 --> 00:23:14,120
(glass shatters)
(laughs)
595
00:23:14,170 --> 00:23:15,700
- [Madame Speaker] When the Chinese come,
596
00:23:15,750 --> 00:23:18,390
they'll gonna clean up trash like that.
597
00:23:18,440 --> 00:23:22,780
Put them in the factories
making knockoff fake mustaches.
598
00:23:22,830 --> 00:23:24,260
You hear me?
599
00:23:24,310 --> 00:23:25,090
- [Male Teenage Delinquent]
Get a job, lady!
600
00:23:25,140 --> 00:23:27,420
- [Madame Speaker] I'm
the Speaker of the House.
601
00:23:27,470 --> 00:23:28,250
- [Female Teenage Delinquent]
More like the speaker
602
00:23:28,300 --> 00:23:30,920
of my dad's old Denon home stereo system.
603
00:23:30,970 --> 00:23:32,120
- [Male Teenage Delinquent] Oh, snap!
604
00:23:32,170 --> 00:23:34,300
- [Madame Speaker] I'll take
away your fucking freedom!
605
00:23:34,350 --> 00:23:36,010
- [Female Teenage Delinquent]
Come on, let's go!
606
00:23:36,060 --> 00:23:36,860
(growls)
607
00:23:36,910 --> 00:23:38,230
- [Madame Speaker] Who's there?
608
00:23:38,280 --> 00:23:39,610
Who's there?
609
00:23:39,660 --> 00:23:42,640
Stay away, I have a black belt.
610
00:23:42,690 --> 00:23:44,240
And shoes and a bag to match.
611
00:23:45,730 --> 00:23:47,150
That you, John?
612
00:23:47,200 --> 00:23:50,600
Finally decided to be a gentleman, huh?
613
00:23:50,650 --> 00:23:54,020
Well, there's gotta be at
least one in this city.
614
00:23:54,070 --> 00:23:55,990
(growls)
615
00:23:56,040 --> 00:23:57,210
Wait, what are you doing?
616
00:23:57,260 --> 00:23:59,120
How dare you!
617
00:23:59,170 --> 00:24:00,010
No!
618
00:24:01,200 --> 00:24:05,450
(screams)
(growls)
619
00:24:24,490 --> 00:24:26,990
(phone rings)
620
00:24:33,480 --> 00:24:34,260
- [Female Party Guest] Does anybody think
621
00:24:34,310 --> 00:24:35,430
we should answer that?
622
00:24:35,480 --> 00:24:37,220
It could be important.
623
00:24:37,270 --> 00:24:38,060
- [Male Party Guest With
Mustache] I ain't answering
624
00:24:38,110 --> 00:24:38,890
the White House phone.
625
00:24:38,940 --> 00:24:40,460
What if it's like, the President of Tibet?
626
00:24:40,510 --> 00:24:41,620
- [Male Party Guest In White
Jacket] Then we'll tell him
627
00:24:41,670 --> 00:24:42,990
to bring drugs (laughs).
628
00:24:45,340 --> 00:24:46,130
- [Bobby] Dad?
629
00:24:46,180 --> 00:24:47,310
Dad!
630
00:24:47,360 --> 00:24:49,290
- [Hazel] These
motherfuckers better pick up.
631
00:24:49,340 --> 00:24:52,280
I didn't bust my ass at
Stanford for four years
632
00:24:52,330 --> 00:24:54,210
and get this White House internship
633
00:24:54,260 --> 00:24:57,780
so I could be turned away
by some jackass rentacop.
634
00:24:57,830 --> 00:24:58,610
Hello?
635
00:24:58,660 --> 00:25:02,170
Hello, I need to speak to
Congressman Joe Mack, please.
636
00:25:02,220 --> 00:25:03,520
- [Male Party Guest] He's passed out.
637
00:25:03,570 --> 00:25:05,320
- [Hazel] Then put the
President on the phone.
638
00:25:05,370 --> 00:25:07,060
- [Billy Ray] Come on,
Hazel, it's Friday night.
639
00:25:07,110 --> 00:25:09,480
Who wants to hang out with a
bunch of politicians, anyway?
640
00:25:09,530 --> 00:25:11,800
- [Hazel] You should be at
that party right now, Billy,
641
00:25:11,850 --> 00:25:14,910
not your palm-greasing
butt-kissing brother.
642
00:25:14,960 --> 00:25:18,500
You're so cool, so laid back.
643
00:25:18,550 --> 00:25:21,620
That's why he's inside and
you're out here in the cold!
644
00:25:21,670 --> 00:25:22,750
As usual!
645
00:25:22,800 --> 00:25:24,760
- [Billy Ray] You better watch
how you speak to me, Hazel.
646
00:25:24,810 --> 00:25:26,770
At least I've got my integrity.
647
00:25:26,820 --> 00:25:28,640
Around here, people get eaten alive.
648
00:25:28,690 --> 00:25:30,470
Chewed up and spit out.
649
00:25:30,520 --> 00:25:31,470
Not me, baby.
(growls)
650
00:25:31,520 --> 00:25:32,320
- [Hazel] What's that?
651
00:25:32,370 --> 00:25:33,340
Billy, watch out!
652
00:25:33,390 --> 00:25:34,580
- [Billy Ray] Be cool, man.
653
00:25:34,630 --> 00:25:36,550
If you want money, you can have it.
654
00:25:36,600 --> 00:25:38,540
- [Hazel] No, don't hurt him.
655
00:25:38,590 --> 00:25:40,550
Hello? (screams)
656
00:25:40,600 --> 00:25:42,350
9-1-1, are you there?
657
00:25:42,400 --> 00:25:44,400
- [911 Operator] Hello,
9-1-1, can I help you?
658
00:25:44,450 --> 00:25:46,160
- [Hazel] I want to report a murder!
659
00:25:46,210 --> 00:25:47,110
Right now!
660
00:25:47,160 --> 00:25:49,080
He's, he's a werewolf.
661
00:25:49,130 --> 00:25:51,250
Yes, about 6'2".
662
00:25:52,320 --> 00:25:53,740
Dark blue suit, tie.
663
00:25:54,690 --> 00:25:55,900
Yes.
664
00:25:55,950 --> 00:25:57,130
I don't know!
665
00:25:57,180 --> 00:25:59,000
Pierre Cardin, maybe.
666
00:25:59,050 --> 00:26:01,250
Please, just help me!
667
00:26:01,300 --> 00:26:04,920
(screams) Oh my god!
668
00:26:04,970 --> 00:26:06,720
Help, help, somebody!
669
00:26:08,610 --> 00:26:10,770
(screams)
670
00:26:22,640 --> 00:26:23,930
He's gone (sobs).
671
00:26:25,120 --> 00:26:25,950
He's gone.
672
00:26:29,770 --> 00:26:32,350
- [Radio Announcer] You're
listening to K-Talk at M90.
673
00:26:32,400 --> 00:26:33,250
- [Radio Host] Good morning DC,
674
00:26:33,300 --> 00:26:35,290
though not for Speaker of
the House Dorothy Maxwell,
675
00:26:35,340 --> 00:26:36,880
who's reported missing last night.
676
00:26:36,930 --> 00:26:39,320
Also, a series of bizarre
attacks on the Beltway
677
00:26:39,370 --> 00:26:40,860
has residents on edge.
678
00:26:40,910 --> 00:26:41,890
- [Radio Announcer] The
grizzly killings appear to be
679
00:26:41,940 --> 00:26:44,840
the work of a wild animal,
a rabid dog or even a wolf.
680
00:26:44,890 --> 00:26:46,890
But such attacks are
rare within city limits
681
00:26:46,940 --> 00:26:48,810
and police are studying
clues left on the scene
682
00:26:48,860 --> 00:26:50,820
which point to a human perpetrator.
683
00:26:50,870 --> 00:26:52,610
These include a pair of
monogrammed cuff links
684
00:26:52,660 --> 00:26:54,060
with the Presidential seal on them,
685
00:26:54,110 --> 00:26:55,940
a handwritten note of
White House stationary
686
00:26:55,990 --> 00:26:58,380
reading "Cabinet meeting,
2:00 p.m. and pick up milk,"
687
00:26:58,430 --> 00:27:00,880
and an original signed
copy of the Bill of Rights.
688
00:27:00,930 --> 00:27:03,110
Suspects are being interviewed
by police at this time,
689
00:27:03,160 --> 00:27:05,910
though no one has been officially charged.
690
00:27:05,960 --> 00:27:07,660
- [Agent Tackler] Mister
President, it's awkward for me
691
00:27:07,710 --> 00:27:10,220
to have to ask you
this, but where were you
692
00:27:10,270 --> 00:27:13,920
between the hours of two
and 3:30 a.m. this morning?
693
00:27:13,970 --> 00:27:14,910
- [President Wolfman] I was
volunteering at a school
694
00:27:14,960 --> 00:27:16,100
for blind deaf mutes
695
00:27:16,150 --> 00:27:17,860
who would be happy to
corroborate my story,
696
00:27:17,910 --> 00:27:20,100
except that they are blind
deaf mutes and wouldn't know
697
00:27:20,150 --> 00:27:22,520
if I were there even if
I have been which I was.
698
00:27:22,570 --> 00:27:25,240
- [Agent Tackler] John, I want
you to sign this statement
699
00:27:25,290 --> 00:27:27,580
saying you were home in bed, masturbating.
700
00:27:27,630 --> 00:27:29,440
- [President Wolfman] I
can't sign this, Tackler.
701
00:27:29,490 --> 00:27:31,970
Truth is I don't know
what I did last night.
702
00:27:32,020 --> 00:27:33,520
And you spelled bed wrong.
703
00:27:33,570 --> 00:27:34,480
- [Agent Tackler] Don't be cute,
704
00:27:34,530 --> 00:27:35,980
just put your Hancock on it.
705
00:27:36,950 --> 00:27:37,890
(buzzer)
706
00:27:37,940 --> 00:27:39,730
- [Secretary] Agent Tackler,
I have Chief Justice Snow
707
00:27:39,780 --> 00:27:40,580
on the line for you.
708
00:27:40,630 --> 00:27:41,410
- [Agent Tackler] I'm with the President,
709
00:27:41,460 --> 00:27:42,520
can you take a message?
710
00:27:42,570 --> 00:27:43,490
- [Secretary] He says it's urgent.
711
00:27:43,540 --> 00:27:45,420
- [Agent Tackler] Fine, put
the sonovabitch through.
712
00:27:45,470 --> 00:27:46,250
Hello?
713
00:27:46,300 --> 00:27:47,080
- [Justice Snow] I was holding
714
00:27:47,130 --> 00:27:48,450
for the head of the Secret Service.
715
00:27:48,500 --> 00:27:49,280
- [Agent Tackler] Speaking.
716
00:27:49,330 --> 00:27:50,490
What is it, Snow?
717
00:27:50,540 --> 00:27:51,690
- [Justice Snow] I believe the President
718
00:27:51,740 --> 00:27:54,010
killed my dog last night.
719
00:27:54,060 --> 00:27:56,980
My wife discovered his body in our yard,
720
00:27:57,030 --> 00:27:58,810
he'd been ripped to shreds.
721
00:27:58,860 --> 00:28:00,570
- [Missis Snow] (sobs) I
was only gonna let him out
722
00:28:00,620 --> 00:28:02,000
long enough to shit.
723
00:28:02,050 --> 00:28:02,840
- [Justice Snow] Quiet!
724
00:28:02,890 --> 00:28:03,670
- [Agent Tackler] What makes you think
725
00:28:03,720 --> 00:28:04,870
Wolfman's responsible?
726
00:28:04,920 --> 00:28:07,620
I mean, it could have been
a fucking raccoon, anything!
727
00:28:07,670 --> 00:28:09,710
- [Justice Snow] Does a
raccoon carry a briefcase
728
00:28:09,760 --> 00:28:11,090
full of nuclear secrets
729
00:28:11,140 --> 00:28:13,150
that says property of John Wolfman,
730
00:28:13,200 --> 00:28:15,750
President of the United States, on them?
731
00:28:15,800 --> 00:28:18,400
That's what I found next to Duke's body,
732
00:28:18,450 --> 00:28:21,320
little black laborer, em, Labrador.
733
00:28:22,210 --> 00:28:24,530
And a key to the city of Cleveland.
734
00:28:25,850 --> 00:28:27,790
- [Agent Tackler] Did
you kill some guy's dog?
735
00:28:27,840 --> 00:28:28,970
Jesus, John.
736
00:28:29,880 --> 00:28:30,670
(buzzer)
737
00:28:30,720 --> 00:28:32,550
- [Secretary] The police are
holding a couple downtown.
738
00:28:32,600 --> 00:28:33,600
They saw everything!
739
00:28:36,330 --> 00:28:37,900
- [Agent Tackler] Are you
aware that you are accusing
740
00:28:37,950 --> 00:28:40,900
the leader of the free world
of first degree manslaughter?
741
00:28:40,950 --> 00:28:41,930
- [Billy Ray] No, just slaughter.
742
00:28:41,980 --> 00:28:43,190
- [Hazel] That's what it was.
743
00:28:43,240 --> 00:28:44,020
- [President Wolfman]
Can you please tell us
744
00:28:44,070 --> 00:28:45,620
everything you saw from the beginning?
745
00:28:45,670 --> 00:28:47,920
- [Hazel] All I know, I
was in the phone booth--
746
00:28:47,970 --> 00:28:50,640
- [Agent Tackler] Who the hell
uses a phone booth nowadays?
747
00:28:50,690 --> 00:28:53,010
I could have you thrown
in jail just for that.
748
00:28:53,060 --> 00:28:56,000
- [Billy Ray] Aw, man, I
knew this was gonna happen.
749
00:28:56,050 --> 00:28:56,830
I never should have reported it.
750
00:28:56,880 --> 00:28:59,670
- [President Wolfman] No, you
did your duty as a citizen
751
00:28:59,720 --> 00:29:01,770
and that's at the
backbone of this country.
752
00:29:01,820 --> 00:29:03,610
- [Agent Tackler] He had
any backbone, he'd have shot
753
00:29:03,660 --> 00:29:06,900
that thing himself and been
on his merry black way.
754
00:29:06,950 --> 00:29:09,000
Not gone crying to the cops.
755
00:29:09,050 --> 00:29:09,840
- [President Wolfman] Tackler, please.
756
00:29:09,890 --> 00:29:11,120
These people are my subjects
757
00:29:11,170 --> 00:29:12,760
and they deserve a little respect.
758
00:29:12,810 --> 00:29:14,050
- [Billy Ray] Subjects?
759
00:29:14,100 --> 00:29:15,070
What, you think you're a king?
760
00:29:15,120 --> 00:29:16,670
- [Agent Tackler] Around here he is.
761
00:29:16,720 --> 00:29:19,190
I've busted punks like
you for tracing names
762
00:29:19,240 --> 00:29:20,820
at the Viet Nam vet memorial,
763
00:29:20,870 --> 00:29:22,500
never mind threatening the President.
764
00:29:22,550 --> 00:29:23,330
- [Billy Ray] Man, fuck that.
765
00:29:23,380 --> 00:29:25,220
- [President Wolfman] He's
right, I should not have referred
766
00:29:25,270 --> 00:29:27,050
to him as a subject,
but I'm not really sure
767
00:29:27,100 --> 00:29:28,470
what the correct term is.
768
00:29:28,520 --> 00:29:30,130
- [Agent Tackler] I can think of a few!
769
00:29:30,180 --> 00:29:31,110
- [President Wolfman]
Look, sir, your honesty
770
00:29:31,160 --> 00:29:32,640
is imperative here, okay?
771
00:29:32,690 --> 00:29:34,330
Can you please describe the killer?
772
00:29:34,380 --> 00:29:35,890
- [Billy Ray] He was
wearing a three piece suit.
773
00:29:35,940 --> 00:29:37,640
- [Hazel] And had a tattoo on his chest.
774
00:29:37,690 --> 00:29:39,280
A five pointed star.
775
00:29:39,330 --> 00:29:40,160
- [Agent Tackler] They're lying.
776
00:29:40,210 --> 00:29:41,630
Okay, book 'em!
777
00:29:41,680 --> 00:29:42,700
- [Hazel] Motherfucker.
778
00:29:42,750 --> 00:29:43,530
- [President Wolfman] Tackler!
779
00:29:43,580 --> 00:29:45,230
- [Billy Ray] That's messed up, man!
780
00:29:45,280 --> 00:29:46,230
Shit.
781
00:29:46,280 --> 00:29:48,810
- [Agent Tackler] It's all
a bunch of fucking bullshit
782
00:29:48,860 --> 00:29:50,090
as far as I'm concerned.
783
00:29:50,140 --> 00:29:51,250
- [Bald General] I for
one would hate to see
784
00:29:51,300 --> 00:29:52,900
the Chinese take over America.
785
00:29:52,950 --> 00:29:55,790
I mean, we'd have to change all
our signs and then our flag.
786
00:29:55,840 --> 00:29:56,680
- [Agent Tackler] What is theirs?
787
00:29:56,730 --> 00:29:58,290
Red with a couple of stars?
788
00:29:58,340 --> 00:29:59,120
Boring.
789
00:29:59,170 --> 00:30:00,330
- [Gray Hair General]
I heard infrastructure
790
00:30:00,380 --> 00:30:02,010
will be left pretty much alone.
791
00:30:02,060 --> 00:30:03,010
- [General In Glasses] Well, I've heard
792
00:30:03,060 --> 00:30:05,100
white girls love Asian men.
793
00:30:05,150 --> 00:30:06,040
Yeah, it's true.
794
00:30:06,090 --> 00:30:07,590
My wife and daughters told me.
795
00:30:08,980 --> 00:30:10,720
- [VP Mangle] Gentlemen, the
trouble is we're bankrupt,
796
00:30:10,770 --> 00:30:13,170
so unless you're planning
to order your soldiers
797
00:30:13,220 --> 00:30:14,860
into other countries to
steal all their stuff
798
00:30:14,910 --> 00:30:16,570
and sell it back to them to raise cash,
799
00:30:16,620 --> 00:30:18,970
we need to confront this Chinese issue.
800
00:30:19,020 --> 00:30:20,370
And I'm not suggesting anything,
801
00:30:20,420 --> 00:30:21,930
but if we did that to Britain and France,
802
00:30:21,980 --> 00:30:24,440
we'd all be fucking millionaires (laughs).
803
00:30:24,490 --> 00:30:26,800
What we need to know is if that bill
804
00:30:26,850 --> 00:30:28,570
passes the House and the Senate,
805
00:30:28,620 --> 00:30:31,820
is our Commander in Chief
willing to risk everything
806
00:30:31,870 --> 00:30:33,860
in order to kill it?
(Wolfman growls)
807
00:30:33,910 --> 00:30:37,170
What do you say, Mister President?
808
00:30:37,220 --> 00:30:38,720
- [Bald General] Well, Mister President?
809
00:30:38,770 --> 00:30:41,850
Where do you stand on the China syndrome?
810
00:30:43,200 --> 00:30:45,950
(Wolfman growls)
811
00:30:51,480 --> 00:30:52,260
- [President Wolfman] Uh, excuse me,
812
00:30:52,310 --> 00:30:54,530
I just remembered I'm supposed
to be at Lincoln Center.
813
00:30:54,580 --> 00:30:57,380
I'm guest judging the talent portion
814
00:30:57,430 --> 00:30:59,390
of the Miss American Junior Miss pageant.
815
00:30:59,440 --> 00:31:01,520
It's going to be me, Barbara Boxer,
816
00:31:01,570 --> 00:31:02,750
there's gonna be catering.
817
00:31:02,800 --> 00:31:06,430
I understand, it's young
women, they're our future, so,
818
00:31:06,480 --> 00:31:08,640
I think Elton John is gonna play.
819
00:31:08,690 --> 00:31:10,390
Excuse me (growls)
820
00:31:10,440 --> 00:31:11,760
- [VP Mangle] I wanna come!
821
00:31:11,810 --> 00:31:14,230
Well, gentlemen, we don't need Elton John
822
00:31:14,280 --> 00:31:15,350
to have a good time.
823
00:31:15,400 --> 00:31:16,850
Come on, am I right?
824
00:31:16,900 --> 00:31:20,150
(laughs) Hello, Megan.
825
00:31:22,760 --> 00:31:24,200
- [President Wolfman] Timotito?
826
00:31:24,250 --> 00:31:25,450
Doctor Timotito?
827
00:31:28,890 --> 00:31:31,670
Yes, I'd like to make an
appointment to see Doctor Timotito.
828
00:31:31,720 --> 00:31:33,300
It's urgent.
829
00:31:33,350 --> 00:31:34,660
Hello?
830
00:31:34,710 --> 00:31:36,180
Are you listening, damn it?
831
00:31:36,230 --> 00:31:38,420
I'm the president of the United States!
832
00:31:38,470 --> 00:31:40,820
No, I don't have fucking insurance!
833
00:31:40,870 --> 00:31:42,600
- [Doctor Timotito] Yes, can I help you?
834
00:31:42,650 --> 00:31:44,820
Oh, Jesus Christ!
835
00:31:44,870 --> 00:31:47,600
What a beautiful specimen.
836
00:31:47,650 --> 00:31:51,800
Half canis lupus, the
remainder a mix of human and
837
00:31:51,850 --> 00:31:54,070
I see a slight touch of earthworm.
838
00:31:54,950 --> 00:31:56,320
- [President Wolfman]
My name is John Wolfman,
839
00:31:56,370 --> 00:31:58,210
I have a responsibility to the nation
840
00:31:58,260 --> 00:32:00,500
I can't fulfill in my present condition.
841
00:32:00,550 --> 00:32:02,920
Please, can you put me back how I was?
842
00:32:02,970 --> 00:32:04,080
I'm begging you.
843
00:32:04,940 --> 00:32:06,320
- [Doctor Timotito] Mister President,
844
00:32:06,370 --> 00:32:08,990
I am going to heal you.
845
00:32:09,850 --> 00:32:13,050
I'm going to make you beautiful again.
846
00:32:13,100 --> 00:32:15,750
With my help, you're going to be able
847
00:32:15,800 --> 00:32:19,820
to rule this country
again as a man (laughs).
848
00:32:21,330 --> 00:32:24,440
(Wolfman yelps)
849
00:32:24,490 --> 00:32:25,550
That's cute.
850
00:32:25,600 --> 00:32:26,990
Good boy.
851
00:32:27,040 --> 00:32:31,520
Gentlemen, we will be
making a radical attempt
852
00:32:31,570 --> 00:32:35,470
at reverse cryogenic metamorphosis.
853
00:32:35,520 --> 00:32:39,020
In an effort to halt the
transformation of DNA
854
00:32:39,070 --> 00:32:44,070
within the cells we shall remove
all genetic canine material
855
00:32:44,340 --> 00:32:47,130
and exterior physical traits.
856
00:32:47,180 --> 00:32:50,910
Even if it means firing up
the electrolysis machine
857
00:32:50,960 --> 00:32:54,320
and lasering this son of a bitch myself.
858
00:32:54,370 --> 00:32:56,880
(dramatic orchestral music)
859
00:32:56,930 --> 00:33:00,460
- [Surgeon] Forceps; dilators;
check the anesthetic, please.
860
00:33:00,510 --> 00:33:01,800
Hey, pooch!
861
00:33:01,850 --> 00:33:04,330
Meow, meow, meow, meow.
862
00:33:04,380 --> 00:33:05,820
Yeah, he's out like a light.
863
00:33:05,870 --> 00:33:07,350
Hand me that sponge.
864
00:33:07,400 --> 00:33:09,320
We are now circumventing the lupial DNA
865
00:33:09,370 --> 00:33:10,990
from the cerebral cortex
866
00:33:11,040 --> 00:33:13,840
and replacing with homosapian chromosomes.
867
00:33:13,890 --> 00:33:15,980
- [Doctor Timotito] Get rid of the teeth!
868
00:33:16,030 --> 00:33:19,640
And now, prepare for fang removal.
869
00:33:19,690 --> 00:33:20,890
- [Surgeon] Making incision, Doctor.
870
00:33:20,940 --> 00:33:22,670
- [Doctor Timotito]
The creature's incisors
871
00:33:22,720 --> 00:33:26,750
are lodged above the gum line
and must be fully extracted.
872
00:33:26,800 --> 00:33:28,630
- [Surgeon] It's too deep.
873
00:33:28,680 --> 00:33:29,810
It's too deep!
874
00:33:29,860 --> 00:33:31,220
- [Doctor Timotito] Dig, Doctor.
875
00:33:31,270 --> 00:33:35,400
Like a farmer plucks the
carrot from earthen soil!
876
00:33:35,450 --> 00:33:38,690
Pull, pull, damn it!
877
00:33:38,740 --> 00:33:40,890
- [Surgeon] Got it!
878
00:33:40,940 --> 00:33:42,640
- [Doctor Timotito]
Now grab the other one.
879
00:33:42,690 --> 00:33:44,510
I gotta take a damn leak.
880
00:33:46,100 --> 00:33:48,010
- [Boy In Light Shirt] Hey,
Bobby, where's your Dad?
881
00:33:48,060 --> 00:33:49,280
- [Bobby] He's working.
882
00:33:49,330 --> 00:33:50,120
- [Boy In Checkered
Shirt] Wasn't he supposed
883
00:33:50,170 --> 00:33:51,390
to take you camping this weekend?
884
00:33:51,440 --> 00:33:53,920
- [Bobby] Sure, but he's the President.
885
00:33:53,970 --> 00:33:54,950
Things come up.
886
00:33:55,000 --> 00:33:56,830
- [Boy] My father says
he's the biggest pussy
887
00:33:56,880 --> 00:33:58,930
we've had in the White House since Socks.
888
00:33:58,980 --> 00:34:00,160
- [Bobby] Come on.
889
00:34:00,210 --> 00:34:01,320
- [Boy] When he's gonna grow some--
890
00:34:01,370 --> 00:34:02,550
- [Surgeon] Ready to remove the balls.
891
00:34:02,600 --> 00:34:04,290
Jesus, they're huge.
892
00:34:04,340 --> 00:34:06,390
To cut these off would be unpatriotic.
893
00:34:06,440 --> 00:34:07,830
I concur.
894
00:34:07,880 --> 00:34:11,020
- [Doctor Timotito] Girlfriends,
I don't like to double
895
00:34:12,930 --> 00:34:15,390
social dimensions so to speak,
896
00:34:15,440 --> 00:34:17,240
I think that's how you would call it,
897
00:34:17,290 --> 00:34:19,330
but I get laid.
898
00:34:19,380 --> 00:34:20,940
- [Surgeon] Doctor, there's a problem!
899
00:34:20,990 --> 00:34:24,030
The subject is frozen
in mid transformation.
900
00:34:24,080 --> 00:34:26,200
It's as if he's in suspended animation.
901
00:34:26,250 --> 00:34:29,190
- [Doctor Timotito] Is
he man or is he wolf?
902
00:34:29,240 --> 00:34:31,010
- [Surgeon] Something in between.
903
00:34:31,060 --> 00:34:34,580
I'm afraid he's become a hippie!
904
00:34:34,630 --> 00:34:37,790
(bright upbeat music)
905
00:35:00,740 --> 00:35:05,260
- [President Wolfman] Hey dude,
could you pass the shellac?
906
00:35:05,310 --> 00:35:08,060
(clipper buzzes)
907
00:35:08,110 --> 00:35:11,280
(bright upbeat music)
908
00:35:15,160 --> 00:35:16,590
Sandra, wow.
909
00:35:16,640 --> 00:35:18,680
I'm used to seeing rankled
old cabinet members
910
00:35:18,730 --> 00:35:21,000
prowling these halls, not beautiful women.
911
00:35:21,050 --> 00:35:23,040
- [Sandra] I waited up for
you as long as I could.
912
00:35:23,090 --> 00:35:23,920
- [President Wolfman] I'm sorry, Sandra.
913
00:35:23,970 --> 00:35:25,620
Something came up.
914
00:35:25,670 --> 00:35:27,210
- [Sandra] Please don't apologize.
915
00:35:27,260 --> 00:35:28,440
You're the President.
916
00:35:28,490 --> 00:35:29,270
- [President Wolfman]
Am I, I'm the President?
917
00:35:29,320 --> 00:35:31,420
Yes, guilty as charged.
918
00:35:31,470 --> 00:35:34,010
- [Sandra] The only sad part
was when I reached my hand out
919
00:35:34,060 --> 00:35:37,120
this morning to touch you,
the mattress was cold.
920
00:35:37,170 --> 00:35:39,490
As if you hadn't been to bed all night.
921
00:35:39,540 --> 00:35:41,210
- [President Wolfman] I didn't
get much sleep, I'm afraid.
922
00:35:41,260 --> 00:35:42,990
There's been a lot on my mind.
923
00:35:43,040 --> 00:35:44,720
- [Sandra] You know, President Wolfman.
924
00:35:44,770 --> 00:35:46,650
The girls are in rehearsal all day.
925
00:35:46,700 --> 00:35:48,970
We brought a fantastic
new choreographer in
926
00:35:49,020 --> 00:35:51,280
from Los Alamos and he'll
be working with them
927
00:35:51,330 --> 00:35:54,040
on the opening number
until late this afternoon.
928
00:35:54,090 --> 00:35:56,450
If you wanted, we could go to your room.
929
00:35:56,500 --> 00:35:57,590
- [President Wolfman] It sounds lovely.
930
00:35:57,640 --> 00:35:59,950
But I'm late for a
meeting with Maude Atkins.
931
00:36:00,000 --> 00:36:01,830
She's a very powerful lobbyist.
932
00:36:01,880 --> 00:36:03,090
- [Sandra] If she's a lobbyist,
933
00:36:03,140 --> 00:36:04,760
shouldn't you be in the lobby?
934
00:36:04,810 --> 00:36:06,050
- [President Wolfman] That's a good point.
935
00:36:06,100 --> 00:36:08,030
I'll ask my secretary to change locations.
936
00:36:08,080 --> 00:36:09,560
Excuse me.
937
00:36:09,610 --> 00:36:11,080
- [Maude] I've got a stack of pledges
938
00:36:11,130 --> 00:36:14,210
signed by each and every
Senator guaranteeing their vote.
939
00:36:14,260 --> 00:36:17,220
I can't buy public opinion,
and most Americans believe
940
00:36:17,270 --> 00:36:19,830
a Chinese buyout would
solve the economic crisis
941
00:36:19,880 --> 00:36:21,060
and be good for all of us.
942
00:36:21,110 --> 00:36:24,670
By us I mean you and me and
politicians and white people.
943
00:36:24,720 --> 00:36:27,000
- [VP Mangle] None of that's
relevant if he decides to veto.
944
00:36:27,050 --> 00:36:28,970
- [Maude] Are you considering that, John?
945
00:36:29,020 --> 00:36:29,810
- [President Wolfman] You know, Maude,
946
00:36:29,860 --> 00:36:32,270
I've been asking myself what
makes a great President.
947
00:36:32,320 --> 00:36:34,370
Character, decisive leadership
948
00:36:34,420 --> 00:36:36,980
or the capacity to carry
out the will of the people,
949
00:36:37,030 --> 00:36:38,910
even when the people are wrong
950
00:36:38,960 --> 00:36:41,270
Like when they voted to
ban the use of thermoses.
951
00:36:41,320 --> 00:36:42,690
That was just weird.
952
00:36:42,740 --> 00:36:44,250
- [VP Mangle] Could you
live with your conscience
953
00:36:44,300 --> 00:36:47,270
as the President who
sold the United States?
954
00:36:47,320 --> 00:36:48,460
- [President Wolfman] No, I couldn't.
955
00:36:48,510 --> 00:36:49,780
- [Maude] You don't sound like a man
956
00:36:49,830 --> 00:36:51,320
who's trying to get re-elected.
957
00:36:51,370 --> 00:36:53,350
- [President Wolfman] Well,
you do sound like a man.
958
00:36:53,400 --> 00:36:55,970
- [Sandra] This is who
you rejected me for?
959
00:36:56,020 --> 00:36:56,810
- [President Wolfman] Hello, Sandra.
960
00:36:56,860 --> 00:36:58,500
- [Maude] As long as I live and breathe,
961
00:36:58,550 --> 00:37:01,840
that bill will go through,
and you won't stop it.
962
00:37:01,890 --> 00:37:04,350
As long as I'm alive, got it?
963
00:37:04,400 --> 00:37:07,590
As long as I'm alive.
964
00:37:08,640 --> 00:37:10,960
(phone tones)
965
00:37:11,010 --> 00:37:12,310
- [President Wolfman]
Hello, Senator Straight?
966
00:37:12,360 --> 00:37:13,820
John Wolfman.
967
00:37:13,870 --> 00:37:16,180
Senator, I'm calling to
ask you to vote no tomorrow
968
00:37:16,230 --> 00:37:17,280
on the Chinese buyout.
969
00:37:17,330 --> 00:37:19,680
- [Senator Straight] I'd like
to help you, Mister President,
970
00:37:19,730 --> 00:37:21,940
but I've got a family to support.
971
00:37:21,990 --> 00:37:25,180
Besides, I signed that pledge
and I'm on the waiting list
972
00:37:25,230 --> 00:37:26,280
for the Chrysler Building.
973
00:37:26,330 --> 00:37:28,870
- [President Wolfman]
Senator, I'll pay you $5,000
974
00:37:28,920 --> 00:37:30,420
to vote down that Chinese bill.
975
00:37:30,470 --> 00:37:33,240
- [Senator Cohen] $5,000,
have you lost your mind?
976
00:37:33,290 --> 00:37:34,900
That wouldn't buy a blowjob
977
00:37:34,950 --> 00:37:37,160
from the boy in the
Capitol Hill mail room.
978
00:37:37,210 --> 00:37:38,970
- [Senator Edward] All
right, I'll tell you what.
979
00:37:39,020 --> 00:37:41,570
I'll vote no if you support my legislation
980
00:37:41,620 --> 00:37:43,130
to legalize fisting.
981
00:37:43,180 --> 00:37:46,400
- [Senator Skylar] This is
the last fuckin' legislation
982
00:37:46,450 --> 00:37:47,650
I'm reading tonight.
983
00:37:47,700 --> 00:37:50,970
Would you confirm my reservation
for 26 at the Truffle Hut?
984
00:37:51,020 --> 00:37:52,140
Thanks hon.
985
00:37:52,190 --> 00:37:53,360
- [Skylar's Secretary]
Senator Skylar's office.
986
00:37:53,410 --> 00:37:54,190
Yes, sir.
987
00:37:54,240 --> 00:37:55,560
President Wolfman.
988
00:37:55,610 --> 00:37:56,790
- [Senator Skylar] God damnit.
989
00:37:56,840 --> 00:37:59,690
Shit, there goes my birthday.
990
00:37:59,740 --> 00:38:01,450
- [Skylar's Secretary]
Hold the line please.
991
00:38:01,500 --> 00:38:02,490
Take the phone.
992
00:38:02,540 --> 00:38:05,210
- [Senator Skylar] Yes,
gGod, I'll never understand
993
00:38:05,260 --> 00:38:08,060
how this asshole ever got himself elected
994
00:38:08,110 --> 00:38:09,670
to public office.
995
00:38:09,720 --> 00:38:14,720
Johnny, you old sonuvabith,
I was just talking about you.
996
00:38:14,830 --> 00:38:15,610
What's up?
997
00:38:15,660 --> 00:38:16,440
- [President Wolfman] Senator, I need you
998
00:38:16,490 --> 00:38:17,530
to have my back on this.
999
00:38:17,580 --> 00:38:19,960
They've bought off Congress
and hoodwinked the public,
1000
00:38:20,010 --> 00:38:21,440
but they can't bribe those of us
1001
00:38:21,490 --> 00:38:23,430
who still believe there's
good in this country,
1002
00:38:23,480 --> 00:38:26,360
hope for justice and
liberty and the truth.
1003
00:38:26,410 --> 00:38:29,410
I'm pleading for your help to
vote against this buyout bill
1004
00:38:29,460 --> 00:38:30,890
and kill it in the Senate.
1005
00:38:30,940 --> 00:38:32,060
- [Senator Skylar] I'm afraid I can't hear
1006
00:38:32,110 --> 00:38:33,290
a word you're saying.
1007
00:38:33,340 --> 00:38:34,210
Must be my phone.
1008
00:38:35,390 --> 00:38:37,030
- [President Wolfman] Hello, Senator?
1009
00:38:37,080 --> 00:38:38,160
Oh, Christ.
1010
00:38:39,700 --> 00:38:40,550
- [Teenage Boy] Hello?
1011
00:38:40,600 --> 00:38:42,360
- [President Wolfman] Hi, is
Senator Schaefer there, please?
1012
00:38:42,410 --> 00:38:43,680
This is the President
of the United States.
1013
00:38:43,730 --> 00:38:45,650
- [Teenage Boy] He's not
home, can I take a message?
1014
00:38:45,700 --> 00:38:47,360
- [President Wolfman]
Yes, have him call me
1015
00:38:47,410 --> 00:38:48,510
as soon as he gets in.
1016
00:38:49,930 --> 00:38:50,730
- [Girl] Hello?
1017
00:38:50,780 --> 00:38:52,220
- [President Wolfman] This
is President John Wolfman,
1018
00:38:52,270 --> 00:38:53,510
is your mother at home?
1019
00:38:53,560 --> 00:38:54,560
- [Girl] No, she isn't.
1020
00:38:54,610 --> 00:38:56,960
- [Boyfriend] Hey, I
found the amyl nitrate!
1021
00:38:57,010 --> 00:38:58,660
- [Girl] I gotta go, I'm busy, okay?
1022
00:38:58,710 --> 00:38:59,860
Okay.
1023
00:38:59,910 --> 00:39:01,890
(phone rings)
1024
00:39:01,940 --> 00:39:03,210
- [Butcher] White House kitchen.
1025
00:39:03,260 --> 00:39:04,050
- [President Wolfman]
Sam, I want a side of beef
1026
00:39:04,100 --> 00:39:05,330
delivered to my office.
1027
00:39:05,380 --> 00:39:06,170
- [Butcher] Mister President?
1028
00:39:06,220 --> 00:39:08,560
We're working around the
clock cooking your last order.
1029
00:39:08,610 --> 00:39:09,400
- [President Wolfman] Just send it raw!
1030
00:39:09,450 --> 00:39:11,620
- [Butcher] I can't do
that, it's not sanitary.
1031
00:39:11,670 --> 00:39:13,010
You could get worms.
1032
00:39:13,060 --> 00:39:14,500
- [President Wolfman] I
don't care if I get fish!
1033
00:39:14,550 --> 00:39:15,920
I'm ravenous here.
1034
00:39:15,970 --> 00:39:16,750
- [Butcher] If you insist.
1035
00:39:16,800 --> 00:39:17,580
- [President Wolfman] And throw in
1036
00:39:17,630 --> 00:39:18,670
a half a dozen of live squirrels.
1037
00:39:18,720 --> 00:39:19,820
- [Butcher] Squirrels?
1038
00:39:20,750 --> 00:39:22,260
Hello?
1039
00:39:22,310 --> 00:39:23,510
Shit.
1040
00:39:23,560 --> 00:39:24,760
- [President Wolfman] Please, no.
1041
00:39:24,810 --> 00:39:26,330
He said I was cured.
1042
00:39:26,380 --> 00:39:28,240
Not more killing, not tonight.
1043
00:39:28,290 --> 00:39:30,420
(growls)
1044
00:39:30,470 --> 00:39:31,300
Mustn't...
1045
00:39:32,470 --> 00:39:36,280
(phone rings)
(growls)
1046
00:39:36,330 --> 00:39:37,490
- [Man] Hello?
1047
00:39:39,280 --> 00:39:40,870
Is that you, hello?
1048
00:39:41,980 --> 00:39:44,150
- [President Wolfman] Now is not the time.
1049
00:39:44,200 --> 00:39:46,620
(phone tone)
1050
00:39:48,880 --> 00:39:50,970
(growls)
1051
00:39:59,130 --> 00:39:59,920
- [Bobby] Dad?
1052
00:39:59,970 --> 00:40:02,290
Dad, is everything okay?
1053
00:40:02,340 --> 00:40:03,770
What's going on in there?
1054
00:40:03,820 --> 00:40:05,320
Dad, dad!
1055
00:40:05,370 --> 00:40:08,360
(Wolfman sniffs)
1056
00:40:08,410 --> 00:40:10,500
(growls)
1057
00:40:13,180 --> 00:40:15,850
(intense music)
1058
00:40:22,220 --> 00:40:25,220
♪ President Wolfman ♪
1059
00:40:28,850 --> 00:40:30,850
(howls)
1060
00:40:33,360 --> 00:40:36,440
(upbeat funky music)
1061
00:40:38,520 --> 00:40:40,070
(thumps)
1062
00:40:40,120 --> 00:40:41,490
- [Cashier] You can have it for free
1063
00:40:41,540 --> 00:40:44,450
if you show me naked
pictures of your wife.
1064
00:40:47,130 --> 00:40:47,960
Shweet.
1065
00:40:52,550 --> 00:40:55,050
(car rumbles)
1066
00:40:57,860 --> 00:41:01,440
(Wolfman breathes heavily)
1067
00:41:03,650 --> 00:41:06,060
- [Maude] Look at these
fucking gas prices.
1068
00:41:06,110 --> 00:41:09,010
I'm gonna be rich! (laughs)
1069
00:41:11,050 --> 00:41:15,570
- [Sexy Girl] Hi, I don't
have any ID and I'm 14
1070
00:41:15,620 --> 00:41:19,040
and my father's the
Mayor and I have a gun.
1071
00:41:19,090 --> 00:41:20,350
- [Cashier] Where do you keep it?
1072
00:41:20,400 --> 00:41:22,520
- [Sexy Girl] And I want
two cartons of Benson
1073
00:41:22,570 --> 00:41:25,530
and Hedges Ultra Lights for
my boyfriend who's in prison.
1074
00:41:27,080 --> 00:41:27,910
Thank you.
1075
00:41:30,250 --> 00:41:32,370
- [Manager] You gonna let her
walk away with that stuff?
1076
00:41:32,420 --> 00:41:34,270
- [Cashier] Ain't worth getting shot.
1077
00:41:36,090 --> 00:41:37,170
- [Maude] Who are you?
1078
00:41:37,220 --> 00:41:38,200
A werewolf?
1079
00:41:38,250 --> 00:41:39,310
No!
1080
00:41:39,360 --> 00:41:41,200
Help, help me, please!
1081
00:41:46,210 --> 00:41:47,980
- [Hippy Girl] Know what I mean?
1082
00:41:48,030 --> 00:41:50,240
- [Hippy Guy] Hey, how's it going?
1083
00:41:50,290 --> 00:41:51,630
- [Manager] Oh, not much of anything.
1084
00:41:51,680 --> 00:41:52,470
- [Hippy Guy] We heard there's been
1085
00:41:52,520 --> 00:41:54,410
some strange deaths in this area.
1086
00:41:54,460 --> 00:41:56,090
- [Manager] Yeah, last night.
1087
00:41:56,140 --> 00:41:58,580
But it's been quiet as a
church mouse around here.
1088
00:41:58,630 --> 00:42:02,030
How scary is it be to have a
psychotic killer on the loose
1089
00:42:02,080 --> 00:42:03,320
right in our neighborhood?
1090
00:42:03,370 --> 00:42:08,370
(Wolfman growls)
(Maude screams)
1091
00:42:09,070 --> 00:42:10,810
- [Hippy Girl] I could be really stoned
1092
00:42:10,860 --> 00:42:15,860
but there's a lady getting
attacked by a werewolf out there.
1093
00:42:15,940 --> 00:42:18,270
Maybe you should like call the police.
1094
00:42:18,320 --> 00:42:19,560
(Maude screams)
1095
00:42:19,610 --> 00:42:24,610
- [Manager] Yep, you're right,
I'll phone them immediately.
1096
00:42:24,880 --> 00:42:25,660
- [Officer] This is the police.
1097
00:42:25,710 --> 00:42:27,250
- [Manager] The killer's here outside!
1098
00:42:27,300 --> 00:42:28,490
Corner of J Street.
1099
00:42:28,540 --> 00:42:31,100
(Wolfman growls)
(Maude screams)
1100
00:42:31,150 --> 00:42:33,130
Come quick, he's ripping her apart!
1101
00:42:33,180 --> 00:42:34,460
- [Dispatcher] Attention unit number 34.
1102
00:42:34,510 --> 00:42:35,420
Do you copy?
1103
00:42:35,470 --> 00:42:36,950
Pick up.
1104
00:42:37,000 --> 00:42:38,270
- [Officer] This is 34, s'up?
1105
00:42:38,320 --> 00:42:39,400
- [Dispatcher] There's
a murder in progress
1106
00:42:39,450 --> 00:42:42,020
at Drink n' Drive gas station,
get over there right away.
1107
00:42:42,070 --> 00:42:43,380
- [Officer] I'm in the
middle of an emergency
1108
00:42:43,430 --> 00:42:45,970
three-seven-niner and
the thing's about to pop.
1109
00:42:46,020 --> 00:42:46,800
- [Dispatcher] Roger that.
1110
00:42:46,850 --> 00:42:48,410
Gimme an E-T-A A-S-A-P.
1111
00:42:48,460 --> 00:42:49,930
I need any and all units!
1112
00:42:49,980 --> 00:42:51,650
(woman moans)
1113
00:42:51,700 --> 00:42:54,080
- [Officer In Cap] Hey,
Johnson, how much longer
1114
00:42:54,130 --> 00:42:55,040
you gonna be?
1115
00:42:55,090 --> 00:42:56,380
- [Officer Without Cap]
Gimme like five minutes.
1116
00:42:56,430 --> 00:42:57,210
Baby's coming.
1117
00:42:57,260 --> 00:42:58,260
- [Officer In Cap] Make it three.
1118
00:42:58,310 --> 00:42:59,620
Just got called on a one eighty seven.
1119
00:42:59,670 --> 00:43:01,190
- [Officer Without Cap]
You heard him, lady.
1120
00:43:01,240 --> 00:43:02,020
Push, come on!
1121
00:43:02,070 --> 00:43:03,340
- [Agnes] I'm pushing!
1122
00:43:03,390 --> 00:43:05,470
- [Agnes's Friend] You're
doing great, Agnes.
1123
00:43:06,380 --> 00:43:07,160
- [Officer In Cap] Get the rest of him.
1124
00:43:07,210 --> 00:43:10,250
We don't have all night,
we're on taxpayer time here.
1125
00:43:10,300 --> 00:43:11,250
Move it, push!
1126
00:43:11,300 --> 00:43:12,840
- [Agnes's Friend] Come
on, Agnes, you can do it.
1127
00:43:12,890 --> 00:43:14,900
- [Agnes] I'm trying!
1128
00:43:15,760 --> 00:43:18,350
- [Agnes's Friend] Come on,
Agnes, you're almost there.
1129
00:43:18,400 --> 00:43:19,190
- [Officer In Cap] Whoah!
1130
00:43:19,240 --> 00:43:20,300
Say it, don't spray it.
1131
00:43:20,350 --> 00:43:21,590
- [Officer Without Cap] Here he comes.
1132
00:43:21,640 --> 00:43:23,920
- [Baby] Mommy, I have a question.
1133
00:43:23,970 --> 00:43:25,000
Why aren't we in a hospital?
1134
00:43:25,050 --> 00:43:27,210
- [Officer In Cap] Quit fooling around.
1135
00:43:27,260 --> 00:43:28,040
- [Officer Without Cap] Hold everything,
1136
00:43:28,090 --> 00:43:29,180
there's another one in there.
1137
00:43:29,230 --> 00:43:31,580
- [Officer In Cap] That's
the ugliest baby I ever seen!
1138
00:43:31,630 --> 00:43:32,410
Who's the father?
1139
00:43:32,460 --> 00:43:33,240
A liver?
1140
00:43:33,290 --> 00:43:34,240
- [Officer Without Cap] It's the placenta.
1141
00:43:34,290 --> 00:43:36,140
- [Officer In Cap] Right,
put it in a doggy bag
1142
00:43:36,190 --> 00:43:37,300
and let's get going.
1143
00:43:38,320 --> 00:43:39,250
- [Officer Without Cap]
Congratulations, honey.
1144
00:43:39,300 --> 00:43:41,330
High five, here.
1145
00:43:41,380 --> 00:43:43,120
(mumbles)
1146
00:43:43,170 --> 00:43:45,870
- [Agnes] Seriously, give me my baby.
1147
00:43:45,920 --> 00:43:49,000
I'm gonna name him Bloody.
1148
00:43:49,050 --> 00:43:50,510
Hi, Bloody.
1149
00:43:51,670 --> 00:43:53,710
- [Officer In Cap] Nice job, Johnson.
1150
00:43:53,760 --> 00:43:54,590
- [Officer Without Cap] Amazing.
1151
00:43:54,640 --> 00:43:56,960
Kinda makes me wish I was a woman.
1152
00:43:57,010 --> 00:43:59,170
(Wolfman growls)
(Maude screams)
1153
00:43:59,220 --> 00:44:00,670
- [Manager] I haven't
seen this much action
1154
00:44:00,720 --> 00:44:03,120
since my wife brought home another man.
1155
00:44:03,170 --> 00:44:05,110
(Maude screams)
1156
00:44:05,160 --> 00:44:05,940
- [Hippy Guy] Right on.
1157
00:44:05,990 --> 00:44:07,850
- [Agent Tackler] Another
day, another dead body.
1158
00:44:07,900 --> 00:44:09,700
This is a PR nightmare.
1159
00:44:09,750 --> 00:44:10,530
- [Captain Jones] Puerto Ricans?
1160
00:44:10,580 --> 00:44:11,480
- [Agent Tackler] No, you goof.
1161
00:44:11,530 --> 00:44:12,640
Public Ricans.
1162
00:44:12,690 --> 00:44:14,590
Politically motivated murders.
1163
00:44:14,640 --> 00:44:16,790
Speaker of the House, Maude Atkins.
1164
00:44:16,840 --> 00:44:19,250
Who's next, Neil fucking Armstrong?
1165
00:44:19,300 --> 00:44:20,080
- [President Wolfman] All supporters
1166
00:44:20,130 --> 00:44:21,620
of the Chinese takeover.
1167
00:44:21,670 --> 00:44:25,020
Captain Jones, Agent Tackler,
do you see a connection here?
1168
00:44:25,070 --> 00:44:26,160
- [Captain Jones] The only thing I see
1169
00:44:26,210 --> 00:44:28,160
is we either have a homicidal maniac
1170
00:44:28,210 --> 00:44:30,270
loose on the streets of Washington,
1171
00:44:30,320 --> 00:44:32,840
or somebody wants to save this country.
1172
00:44:34,300 --> 00:44:35,640
- [Xiao Peng] Find Ambassador Chen
1173
00:44:35,690 --> 00:44:37,900
and tell him to pack his bags.
1174
00:44:37,950 --> 00:44:40,480
He flies to the Capital tonight.
1175
00:44:40,530 --> 00:44:42,040
- [Chinese Females] President Xiao Peng,
1176
00:44:42,090 --> 00:44:44,380
what is your plan for America?
1177
00:44:44,430 --> 00:44:47,410
- [Xiao Peng] A cultural
migration by which every level
1178
00:44:47,460 --> 00:44:50,230
of their society is infiltrated.
1179
00:44:50,280 --> 00:44:52,740
We'll take over their professional sports:
1180
00:44:52,790 --> 00:44:57,720
basketball, baseball,
hacky sack, hop-and-scotch.
1181
00:44:57,770 --> 00:44:59,430
The institutions of higher learning
1182
00:44:59,480 --> 00:45:01,840
will be overrun by our people,
1183
00:45:01,890 --> 00:45:04,650
as with their factories and playgrounds,
1184
00:45:04,700 --> 00:45:07,360
soon, the men and woman of China
1185
00:45:07,410 --> 00:45:10,260
will become the new face of America.
1186
00:45:10,310 --> 00:45:12,820
We will be the movie stars, the literati,
1187
00:45:12,870 --> 00:45:17,870
the cognishenti,
international sex symbols.
1188
00:45:18,050 --> 00:45:21,340
Your country will serve as a
playground for our pleasure,
1189
00:45:21,390 --> 00:45:24,470
our whims, our lusts!
1190
00:45:24,520 --> 00:45:27,980
Everything that you hold
dear, every God given right
1191
00:45:28,030 --> 00:45:31,780
stripped away and discarded
like industrial waste
1192
00:45:31,830 --> 00:45:34,960
into the Yellow River,
written by I.P. Daily.
1193
00:45:35,910 --> 00:45:39,350
Plus, I will force the
people of North Dakota
1194
00:45:39,400 --> 00:45:43,300
and the people of South
Dakota to switch places.
1195
00:45:43,350 --> 00:45:45,720
(laughs) That would be hilarious.
1196
00:45:46,810 --> 00:45:49,820
- [Chinese Females] Mass chaos (giggle)
1197
00:45:49,870 --> 00:45:51,920
- [Xiao Peng] You like that, eh, girls?
1198
00:45:51,970 --> 00:45:54,240
Here, pass me that joint.
1199
00:45:54,290 --> 00:45:56,660
Look, ha-ha!
1200
00:45:56,710 --> 00:45:58,680
Burn, United States.
1201
00:45:58,730 --> 00:46:01,920
I shower you with flames
and prescription drugs,
1202
00:46:01,970 --> 00:46:03,930
rendering you fruitless!
1203
00:46:03,980 --> 00:46:06,310
(all laugh)
1204
00:46:08,620 --> 00:46:10,640
- [Spokesperson] I was
afraid of this very scenario
1205
00:46:10,690 --> 00:46:14,210
if the Chinese bill passed
the Senate, but since it has,
1206
00:46:14,260 --> 00:46:15,620
I see I was wrong.
1207
00:46:15,670 --> 00:46:19,180
Ask the President to sign that
bill and say no to a veto.
1208
00:46:19,230 --> 00:46:22,700
It's good for America, it's
good business for America.
1209
00:46:23,580 --> 00:46:24,840
- [Announcer] Paid for by Americans
1210
00:46:24,890 --> 00:46:26,390
for the Destruction of God.
1211
00:46:26,440 --> 00:46:27,940
(bomb ticks)
1212
00:46:27,990 --> 00:46:28,770
(bomb explodes)
1213
00:46:28,820 --> 00:46:30,870
- [Senator Schuly] Very good, wonderful.
1214
00:46:30,920 --> 00:46:35,920
Wonderful, yes, a little, no, top it off.
1215
00:46:36,490 --> 00:46:40,080
Very good, that's beautiful,
thank you very much.
1216
00:46:40,130 --> 00:46:40,950
- [President Wolfman]
Look at Senator Schuly.
1217
00:46:41,000 --> 00:46:42,780
Shoveling slop down his gullet.
1218
00:46:42,830 --> 00:46:44,940
So smug that he just sold out his country.
1219
00:46:44,990 --> 00:46:47,070
I'd like to rip his limbs off.
1220
00:46:47,120 --> 00:46:49,000
- [Captain Jones] Jeez, dude, calm down.
1221
00:46:49,050 --> 00:46:50,250
Someone's gonna think you're the nut
1222
00:46:50,300 --> 00:46:51,980
who's been going around killing people.
1223
00:46:52,030 --> 00:46:53,820
- [President Wolfman] Don't
you see, Jonesy, I am him.
1224
00:46:53,870 --> 00:46:55,630
The deranged killer tearing people's necks
1225
00:46:55,680 --> 00:46:57,210
and eating their hearts out around town.
1226
00:46:57,260 --> 00:46:59,120
Anyone who opposes me, that's me.
1227
00:46:59,170 --> 00:47:00,580
- [Captain Jones] You can't prove that.
1228
00:47:00,630 --> 00:47:01,410
- [President Wolfman] Look, damn it!
1229
00:47:01,460 --> 00:47:03,240
That witness, the girl. She knew.
1230
00:47:03,290 --> 00:47:06,320
No one outside of my wife and
secretary have ever seen this.
1231
00:47:06,370 --> 00:47:07,630
She could identify me.
1232
00:47:07,680 --> 00:47:08,790
I have to resign immediately.
1233
00:47:08,840 --> 00:47:10,810
Staying in office would be
like handing over the keys
1234
00:47:10,860 --> 00:47:12,850
to the country to Xiao Peng and his thugs.
1235
00:47:12,900 --> 00:47:14,780
- [Captain Jones] You've
got to veto that bill.
1236
00:47:14,830 --> 00:47:16,700
- [President Wolfman] I
can't if I'm not behind bars.
1237
00:47:16,750 --> 00:47:18,730
- [Captain Jones] I thought
you gave up bartending.
1238
00:47:18,780 --> 00:47:22,260
(upbeat funky music)
1239
00:47:22,310 --> 00:47:24,260
(bowling pins rattle)
1240
00:47:24,310 --> 00:47:25,510
- [VP Mangle] Nothing like bowling
1241
00:47:25,560 --> 00:47:27,780
to relieve the old stress endorphins.
1242
00:47:27,830 --> 00:47:29,160
Eh, Mister President?
1243
00:47:29,210 --> 00:47:30,000
- [President Wolfman] I'll say.
1244
00:47:30,050 --> 00:47:31,340
This alley was installed by Roosevelt.
1245
00:47:31,390 --> 00:47:32,410
- [VP Mangle] Which one?
1246
00:47:32,460 --> 00:47:33,570
- [President Wolfman]
Uh, Charles, I think.
1247
00:47:33,620 --> 00:47:35,850
Listen, Ed, if anything
were to happen to me,
1248
00:47:35,900 --> 00:47:37,400
you would become President.
1249
00:47:37,450 --> 00:47:38,480
- [VP Mangle] Really?
1250
00:47:38,530 --> 00:47:39,800
I wasn't aware of that.
1251
00:47:39,850 --> 00:47:41,380
- [President Wolfman]
I'm the werewolf, Ed!
1252
00:47:41,430 --> 00:47:44,110
Now, I've made arrangements to
sequester myself in my office
1253
00:47:44,160 --> 00:47:46,160
until tomorrow morning so
that nothing can keep me
1254
00:47:46,210 --> 00:47:48,300
from signing the veto the
moment it crosses my desk.
1255
00:47:48,350 --> 00:47:49,610
- [VP Mangle] Now listen, John.
1256
00:47:49,660 --> 00:47:51,990
The strain of job has gone to your head.
1257
00:47:52,040 --> 00:47:55,640
The country depends on you to
be of a sound state of mind.
1258
00:47:55,690 --> 00:47:58,520
If you're not, you're
putting the nation at risk.
1259
00:47:58,570 --> 00:47:59,820
- [President Wolfman] I'll
be OK till the morning.
1260
00:47:59,870 --> 00:48:00,960
But if anything should happen,
1261
00:48:01,010 --> 00:48:02,890
I'm trusting you to sign that veto.
1262
00:48:02,940 --> 00:48:05,330
And please, do not tell a soul about this.
1263
00:48:05,380 --> 00:48:06,530
Especially Bobby.
1264
00:48:06,580 --> 00:48:09,150
- [VP Mangle] If there's one
thing you should know about me
1265
00:48:09,200 --> 00:48:11,270
it's that I can keep a secret.
1266
00:48:11,320 --> 00:48:14,390
Hell, did I ever tell
anybody about the time
1267
00:48:14,440 --> 00:48:17,350
you put sulfuric acid
in a baby bonny anuses
1268
00:48:17,400 --> 00:48:19,810
to test your failed make-up line?
1269
00:48:19,860 --> 00:48:21,140
Let's bowl.
1270
00:48:21,190 --> 00:48:23,870
- [Captain Jones] I'm setting
this alarm for 0600 hours.
1271
00:48:23,920 --> 00:48:26,330
That's what time the bill
is to arrive at your office.
1272
00:48:26,380 --> 00:48:27,170
- [President Wolfman] I don't want anyone
1273
00:48:27,220 --> 00:48:30,060
to let me out of these shackles
no matter what I say or do.
1274
00:48:30,110 --> 00:48:31,510
Unless I have to go to the bathroom
1275
00:48:31,560 --> 00:48:32,770
or maybe stretch my legs.
1276
00:48:32,820 --> 00:48:34,670
- [Captain Jones] I believe
in you, Mister President.
1277
00:48:34,720 --> 00:48:37,760
Of course, I also believe
that an evil race of croutons
1278
00:48:37,810 --> 00:48:39,160
are plotting to poison your salad.
1279
00:48:39,210 --> 00:48:41,760
- [President Wolfman] Jonesy,
I want you to tell Bobby
1280
00:48:41,810 --> 00:48:45,060
I promise to take him to Camp
David when this is all over.
1281
00:48:45,110 --> 00:48:46,370
- [Captain Jones] Whatever you say, sir.
1282
00:48:46,420 --> 00:48:47,620
- [President Wolfman] I said, tell him!
1283
00:48:47,670 --> 00:48:50,130
Tell him I'm sorry for
not being there enough,
1284
00:48:50,180 --> 00:48:52,460
making him feel shame about his sexuality
1285
00:48:52,510 --> 00:48:54,910
and failing to protect him
from the taunts and bullying
1286
00:48:54,960 --> 00:48:56,220
of neighborhood ruffians.
1287
00:48:56,270 --> 00:48:57,580
Tell Bobby I love him!
1288
00:48:57,630 --> 00:48:58,420
That's an order!
1289
00:48:58,470 --> 00:49:00,050
- [Captain Jones] Tell him yourself!
1290
00:49:00,100 --> 00:49:02,720
Look, Mister President, you
have a duty to that boy,
1291
00:49:02,770 --> 00:49:06,920
and if you can't fulfill it,
for God's sakes don't eat him.
1292
00:49:06,970 --> 00:49:07,790
Good night.
1293
00:49:07,840 --> 00:49:10,840
(soft dreamy music)
1294
00:49:18,490 --> 00:49:19,860
- [President Wolfman] Sandra, hello.
1295
00:49:19,910 --> 00:49:21,340
- [Sandra] Oh my God.
1296
00:49:21,390 --> 00:49:23,590
You look like a chained animal.
1297
00:49:23,640 --> 00:49:25,830
An elderly one, because
of the rocking chair.
1298
00:49:25,880 --> 00:49:26,670
- [President Wolfman] I know.
1299
00:49:26,720 --> 00:49:28,600
I didn't want you to see me like this.
1300
00:49:28,650 --> 00:49:30,400
Not unless it involved role play.
1301
00:49:30,450 --> 00:49:32,840
- [Sandra] I've never done
it with a President before.
1302
00:49:32,890 --> 00:49:35,460
At least, not the President
of the United States.
1303
00:49:35,510 --> 00:49:36,620
- [President Wolfman] You've
done it with a different one?
1304
00:49:36,670 --> 00:49:38,300
- [Sandra] Well, there was the President
1305
00:49:38,350 --> 00:49:40,310
of the Gay Talese fan club.
1306
00:49:40,360 --> 00:49:42,520
And also that chubby guy with red glasses
1307
00:49:42,570 --> 00:49:44,290
who writes jokes for the Oscars.
1308
00:49:44,340 --> 00:49:45,120
- [President Wolfman] What?
1309
00:49:45,170 --> 00:49:45,950
You had sex with the President
1310
00:49:46,000 --> 00:49:47,360
of the Bruce Vilanche fan club?
1311
00:49:47,410 --> 00:49:48,640
- [Sandra] No, silly!
1312
00:49:48,690 --> 00:49:50,630
I had sex with Bruce Vilanche.
1313
00:49:50,680 --> 00:49:52,090
- [President Wolfman]
But he's not a president.
1314
00:49:52,140 --> 00:49:53,460
- [Sandra] That bastard!
1315
00:49:53,510 --> 00:49:54,290
He told me he was.
1316
00:49:54,340 --> 00:49:55,480
- [President Wolfman] Let
me out of these chains.
1317
00:49:55,530 --> 00:49:56,830
I'll show Vilanche!
1318
00:49:56,880 --> 00:49:58,080
- [Sandra] Don't get uptight, John.
1319
00:49:58,130 --> 00:50:00,190
None of them were as good as you.
1320
00:50:00,240 --> 00:50:01,190
- [President Wolfman]
But we haven't actually
1321
00:50:01,240 --> 00:50:02,020
made love yet--
1322
00:50:02,070 --> 00:50:04,520
- [Sandra] Shhh, don't say anything.
1323
00:50:04,570 --> 00:50:05,590
You're the best, John.
1324
00:50:05,640 --> 00:50:08,260
The best I've ever had.
1325
00:50:08,310 --> 00:50:09,300
- [President Wolfman] Okay.
1326
00:50:09,350 --> 00:50:10,400
- [Sandra] I love you.
1327
00:50:10,450 --> 00:50:12,790
(both moan)
1328
00:50:19,030 --> 00:50:20,130
- [Captain Jones] I'm sorry to interrupt,
1329
00:50:20,180 --> 00:50:21,810
but I think you'd better see this.
1330
00:50:21,860 --> 00:50:23,920
Mangle's called an
emergency press conference,
1331
00:50:23,970 --> 00:50:25,150
he's on the air now.
1332
00:50:26,430 --> 00:50:29,180
- [Newscaster] We now
take you to the Pentagon.
1333
00:50:29,230 --> 00:50:30,720
- [VP Mangle] Ladies and gentlemen,
1334
00:50:30,770 --> 00:50:32,440
I have a very important announcement
1335
00:50:32,490 --> 00:50:34,580
regarding some rather
startling developments
1336
00:50:34,630 --> 00:50:36,340
with our President, John Wolfman.
1337
00:50:36,390 --> 00:50:39,330
(clears throat) Settle down, settle down.
1338
00:50:39,380 --> 00:50:41,900
Last evening, I was informed of a dire,
1339
00:50:41,950 --> 00:50:44,190
and to put it bluntly,
terrifying state of events.
1340
00:50:44,240 --> 00:50:48,050
I was asked to keep this
information confidential,
1341
00:50:48,100 --> 00:50:51,400
but after a rather cathartic
meeting with my Rabbi,
1342
00:50:51,450 --> 00:50:52,800
I've come to the decision
1343
00:50:52,850 --> 00:50:55,100
that the American people need to know.
1344
00:50:56,060 --> 00:50:59,730
It is therefore my unpleasant
duty to inform all of you
1345
00:50:59,780 --> 00:51:01,840
that the President of the United States
1346
00:51:01,890 --> 00:51:04,120
has been bitten by a werewolf.
1347
00:51:04,170 --> 00:51:04,950
(audience gasps)
1348
00:51:05,000 --> 00:51:05,790
- [Reporter] Vice President Mangle!
1349
00:51:05,840 --> 00:51:07,280
- [President Wolfman] That son of a bitch!
1350
00:51:07,330 --> 00:51:08,470
- [Reporter] Vice President Mangle!
1351
00:51:08,520 --> 00:51:09,790
- [Diner Owner] This is boring.
1352
00:51:09,840 --> 00:51:11,600
Let's see what's on C-SPAN.
1353
00:51:11,650 --> 00:51:12,440
- [Diner Customer] Leave it, Marty!
1354
00:51:12,490 --> 00:51:13,710
- [VP Mangle] No questions, please.
1355
00:51:13,760 --> 00:51:15,220
President Wolfman is responsible
1356
00:51:15,270 --> 00:51:17,160
for the killings in Washington DC.
1357
00:51:17,210 --> 00:51:19,460
He is dangerous and
unfit to hold the office
1358
00:51:19,510 --> 00:51:20,780
of Commander In Chief.
1359
00:51:20,830 --> 00:51:22,620
As of this moment, I will assume
1360
00:51:22,670 --> 00:51:24,420
all responsibilities of the Presidency.
1361
00:51:24,470 --> 00:51:25,720
Until this is resolved,
1362
00:51:25,770 --> 00:51:29,090
there will be a lock down in
the city effective immediately.
1363
00:51:30,010 --> 00:51:31,570
- [Reporter] Where is the President now?
1364
00:51:31,620 --> 00:51:32,830
- [VP Mangle] He could be anywhere.
1365
00:51:32,880 --> 00:51:34,560
At the corner drug store.
1366
00:51:34,610 --> 00:51:37,880
Waiting in line at a local
movie theater, a strip club,
1367
00:51:37,930 --> 00:51:41,520
a marijuana dispensary, a novelty store,
1368
00:51:41,570 --> 00:51:44,710
or rummaging though your
child underwear drawer.
1369
00:51:44,760 --> 00:51:47,430
(crowd screams)
1370
00:51:53,930 --> 00:51:55,050
- [VP Mangle] Now, now.
1371
00:51:55,100 --> 00:51:58,950
Was it something I said? (laughs)
1372
00:51:59,000 --> 00:52:00,460
This is hot.
1373
00:52:00,510 --> 00:52:03,130
Now this is a fucking riot. (laughs)
1374
00:52:06,390 --> 00:52:07,390
- [President Wolfman]
He's orchestrating a coup!
1375
00:52:07,440 --> 00:52:10,000
- [Sandra] I had no
idea he was a musician.
1376
00:52:10,050 --> 00:52:12,180
(phone rings)
1377
00:52:12,230 --> 00:52:13,020
- [President Wolfman]
Don't answer the phone!
1378
00:52:13,070 --> 00:52:15,420
- [Sandra] Oh, I love that movie.
1379
00:52:15,470 --> 00:52:17,240
President Wolfman's office?
1380
00:52:17,290 --> 00:52:19,920
I'm sorry, he's indisposed.
1381
00:52:19,970 --> 00:52:21,960
No, disposed is not a place.
1382
00:52:22,010 --> 00:52:22,840
It's Mangle.
1383
00:52:25,720 --> 00:52:26,780
- [President Wolfman] This better be good.
1384
00:52:26,830 --> 00:52:28,240
- [VP Mangle] I'm afraid I couldn't risk
1385
00:52:28,290 --> 00:52:31,020
that bill falling into
the wrong paws, hands.
1386
00:52:31,070 --> 00:52:31,850
- [President Wolfman] Bill?
1387
00:52:31,900 --> 00:52:33,100
Why are you so concerned about Bill?
1388
00:52:33,150 --> 00:52:34,890
- [VP Mangle] I'm authorizing the takeover
1389
00:52:34,940 --> 00:52:38,040
and there's nothing you can do to stop me.
1390
00:52:38,090 --> 00:52:38,880
- [President Wolfman]
I swore you in, Mangle,
1391
00:52:38,930 --> 00:52:40,400
and I can swear you out!
1392
00:52:40,450 --> 00:52:42,000
- [VP Mangle] I wouldn't try it, John.
1393
00:52:42,050 --> 00:52:43,550
I've got your son.
1394
00:52:43,600 --> 00:52:45,700
Don't worry, he's safe.
1395
00:52:45,750 --> 00:52:47,790
Being held in one of
the many secret bunkers
1396
00:52:47,840 --> 00:52:50,630
built beneath this town
for situations like this.
1397
00:52:50,680 --> 00:52:52,240
By the time you find him,
1398
00:52:52,290 --> 00:52:56,210
I'll be Prime Minister of
Chimerica and you'll be nothing
1399
00:52:56,260 --> 00:53:00,590
but a sad pathetic footnote
in the anals of history.
1400
00:53:00,640 --> 00:53:03,520
- [President Wolfman] Annals of history.
1401
00:53:03,570 --> 00:53:07,170
(dramatic orchestral music)
1402
00:53:07,220 --> 00:53:09,630
- [Newscaster] A state of
emergency has been declared
1403
00:53:09,680 --> 00:53:13,020
as the streets of DC run amok.
1404
00:53:13,070 --> 00:53:16,000
In a city where the most
powerful man on the planet
1405
00:53:16,050 --> 00:53:19,900
is also its most unpredictable
and deadliest criminal,
1406
00:53:19,950 --> 00:53:22,850
no one is considered safe!
1407
00:53:22,900 --> 00:53:24,770
- [Young Man] The President
promised to change,
1408
00:53:24,820 --> 00:53:27,050
but not changing into a fucking werewolf.
1409
00:53:27,100 --> 00:53:29,950
Our government is nothing
but a gang of psychos
1410
00:53:30,000 --> 00:53:32,370
and Wolfman is the worst of the bunch!
1411
00:53:34,580 --> 00:53:35,460
Hey, look out!
1412
00:53:36,540 --> 00:53:38,050
- [Lady In Window] Oh, my God!
1413
00:53:38,100 --> 00:53:39,670
Somebody make a PSA!
1414
00:53:39,720 --> 00:53:40,920
- [Senator Schuly] I
knew I shouldn't have had
1415
00:53:40,970 --> 00:53:42,770
that last Schnapps.
1416
00:53:42,820 --> 00:53:44,060
- [PSA Announcer] Don't drink Schnapps.
1417
00:53:44,110 --> 00:53:47,590
A message from the American
Automotive Agency Foundation.
1418
00:53:49,660 --> 00:53:51,750
- [President Wolfman] Bobby!
1419
00:53:51,800 --> 00:53:53,340
Bobby, it's Dad!
1420
00:53:53,390 --> 00:53:54,830
I'm coming to get you!
1421
00:53:54,880 --> 00:53:57,960
(electricity fuzzes)
1422
00:54:00,340 --> 00:54:02,160
- [Guard] Hold it right there!
1423
00:54:02,210 --> 00:54:05,550
Don't take another step down those steps.
1424
00:54:06,720 --> 00:54:09,160
Jesus, you must be--
1425
00:54:10,030 --> 00:54:11,740
- [President Wolfman] President Wolfman!
1426
00:54:11,790 --> 00:54:13,920
(gun bangs)
1427
00:54:13,970 --> 00:54:15,180
Where's my son!
1428
00:54:15,230 --> 00:54:16,010
Where is he?
1429
00:54:16,060 --> 00:54:16,840
Tell me, damn it! (growls)
1430
00:54:16,890 --> 00:54:19,770
- [Guard] Don't kill me, I voted for you!
1431
00:54:19,820 --> 00:54:21,030
- [President Wolfman] Where's Bobby?
1432
00:54:21,080 --> 00:54:25,270
Tell me now, tell me now! (growls)
1433
00:54:25,320 --> 00:54:28,210
- [VP Mangle] My fellow
Americans, we are privileged
1434
00:54:28,260 --> 00:54:32,890
to bear witness to a new
dawn of the American destiny.
1435
00:54:32,940 --> 00:54:36,390
A super society in which
the outmoded ideals
1436
00:54:36,440 --> 00:54:39,810
of rugged individualism
and personal liberty
1437
00:54:39,860 --> 00:54:44,270
give way to the greater
goal of mass slavery.
1438
00:54:44,320 --> 00:54:45,680
- [Mangle's Henchman]
Excuse me, Mister Mangle.
1439
00:54:45,730 --> 00:54:46,750
It's Bobby Wolfman.
1440
00:54:46,800 --> 00:54:47,940
- [VP Mangle] What of him?
1441
00:54:47,990 --> 00:54:48,780
- [Mangle's Henchman] Well, he's--
1442
00:54:48,830 --> 00:54:50,400
- [VP Mangle] Can't
you see I'm rehearsing?
1443
00:54:50,450 --> 00:54:51,240
- [Mangle's Henchman] The boy has escaped.
1444
00:54:51,290 --> 00:54:52,670
- [VP Mangle] Well, find him, damn it!
1445
00:54:52,720 --> 00:54:55,180
Last thing I need is that
little brat coming after me
1446
00:54:55,230 --> 00:54:56,240
to avenge his father.
1447
00:54:56,290 --> 00:54:58,520
The Wolfman bloodline must be destroyed
1448
00:54:58,570 --> 00:55:00,700
if I have to track him myself and grab him
1449
00:55:00,750 --> 00:55:03,330
and hold down his innocent
little 10 year old body
1450
00:55:03,380 --> 00:55:04,680
and strangle the life out of him!
1451
00:55:04,730 --> 00:55:05,840
Squeeze him everywhere.
1452
00:55:05,890 --> 00:55:07,340
His genitals, everything.
1453
00:55:07,390 --> 00:55:08,340
- [Missis Mangle] Vice President Mangle?
1454
00:55:08,390 --> 00:55:09,340
- [VP Mangle] Huh?
1455
00:55:09,390 --> 00:55:10,920
- [Missis Mangle] I'm your wife.
1456
00:55:10,970 --> 00:55:13,320
- [VP Mangle] Of course,
please, come in, dear.
1457
00:55:16,740 --> 00:55:18,930
(bell rings)
1458
00:55:18,980 --> 00:55:21,640
- [Newscaster] Mass
demonstrations paralyze Washington
1459
00:55:21,690 --> 00:55:25,960
and the nation as President
Wolfman remains at large.
1460
00:55:26,010 --> 00:55:30,070
- [Protesters] Kill
him, kill him, kill him!
1461
00:55:30,120 --> 00:55:31,730
- [Newscaster] Pandemonium rules the day
1462
00:55:31,780 --> 00:55:34,300
as Americans take to the streets.
1463
00:55:34,350 --> 00:55:36,830
Destruction, confusion and outrage
1464
00:55:36,880 --> 00:55:40,200
erupting through our
cities, a wave of anxiety
1465
00:55:40,250 --> 00:55:42,720
that's causing law abiding citizens
1466
00:55:42,770 --> 00:55:45,280
to behave like stampeding beasts,
1467
00:55:45,330 --> 00:55:48,370
leaving the young, the weak and the insane
1468
00:55:48,420 --> 00:55:52,430
to suffer and die in their wake
while the fate of the nation
1469
00:55:52,480 --> 00:55:54,360
hangs in the balance.
1470
00:55:54,410 --> 00:55:57,090
What has become of our leaders?
1471
00:55:57,140 --> 00:55:59,950
Where is President Wolfman?
1472
00:56:02,080 --> 00:56:02,860
- [Dad] This is the first time
1473
00:56:02,910 --> 00:56:04,450
I ever gave a shit about politics.
1474
00:56:04,500 --> 00:56:06,990
- [Daughter] I know, dude!
1475
00:56:07,040 --> 00:56:09,290
- [Girls] Jump, jump, jump!
1476
00:56:10,200 --> 00:56:11,450
America's dead!
1477
00:56:13,580 --> 00:56:15,560
(thuds)
1478
00:56:15,610 --> 00:56:17,750
- [Sandra] John, the police
were here looking for you.
1479
00:56:17,800 --> 00:56:18,610
It's not safe.
1480
00:56:18,660 --> 00:56:19,950
- [President Wolfman]
Well, I only come back
1481
00:56:20,000 --> 00:56:21,320
to say goodbye, Sandra.
1482
00:56:21,370 --> 00:56:24,200
I'm resigning my office,
effective immediately.
1483
00:56:24,250 --> 00:56:25,560
- [Sandra] Do you have time for sex?
1484
00:56:25,610 --> 00:56:27,690
- [President Wolfman] I'm no
longer fit to be President.
1485
00:56:27,740 --> 00:56:30,520
I'll sign the veto, then turn myself in
1486
00:56:30,570 --> 00:56:32,180
to the papal authorities.
1487
00:56:32,230 --> 00:56:33,880
- [Sandra] Just know
that whatever happens,
1488
00:56:33,930 --> 00:56:37,040
no matter what you decide
to do, I'll support you.
1489
00:56:37,090 --> 00:56:38,180
I have money.
1490
00:56:38,230 --> 00:56:39,080
- [President Wolfman] How much money?
1491
00:56:39,130 --> 00:56:39,950
- [Sandra] A lot.
1492
00:56:40,000 --> 00:56:40,780
- [President Wolfman] Thank you, darling,
1493
00:56:40,830 --> 00:56:42,140
but that's more than I deserve.
1494
00:56:42,190 --> 00:56:44,500
I've lost my son and
the trust of my country.
1495
00:56:44,550 --> 00:56:45,820
I'm a failure.
1496
00:56:46,840 --> 00:56:48,000
- [Agent Tackler] Mister President?
1497
00:56:48,050 --> 00:56:49,870
Bobby's been spotted at Camp David
1498
00:56:49,920 --> 00:56:51,980
and Mangle's given the
order to shoot to kill.
1499
00:56:52,030 --> 00:56:52,990
But the veto--
1500
00:56:55,120 --> 00:56:56,220
- [Sandra] John, wait.
1501
00:56:56,270 --> 00:56:58,700
If you find Bobby, or if he gets killed,
1502
00:56:58,750 --> 00:57:00,780
will you be able to make
it to the pageant tonight?
1503
00:57:00,830 --> 00:57:03,930
The girls have worked hard and
it would mean so much to them
1504
00:57:03,980 --> 00:57:05,420
and to the nation.
1505
00:57:05,470 --> 00:57:07,370
- [President Wolfman] Howl do my best.
1506
00:57:09,750 --> 00:57:12,380
I may be the President
and I may be a wolfman,
1507
00:57:12,430 --> 00:57:14,170
but I'm also a father.
1508
00:57:14,220 --> 00:57:15,940
♪ President Wolfman ♪
1509
00:57:15,990 --> 00:57:17,510
- [VP Mangle] This is
a high security alert.
1510
00:57:17,560 --> 00:57:19,900
All available agents are
to report to Camp David
1511
00:57:19,950 --> 00:57:21,630
in pursuit of Bobby Wolfman.
1512
00:57:21,680 --> 00:57:24,160
I want him captured dead or alive.
1513
00:57:25,100 --> 00:57:26,210
- [Radio Announcer] You're
listening to K-TALK FM,
1514
00:57:26,260 --> 00:57:28,080
your station for the best political gossip
1515
00:57:28,130 --> 00:57:29,550
inside the Beltway.
1516
00:57:29,600 --> 00:57:31,310
America's poised to change hands,
1517
00:57:31,360 --> 00:57:34,400
and our Commander in
Chief is both mia and doa.
1518
00:57:34,450 --> 00:57:36,390
What the fuck does that mean?
1519
00:57:36,440 --> 00:57:37,420
- [Helicopter Pilot] Attention base,
1520
00:57:37,470 --> 00:57:40,780
I've got visual contact with the boy.
1521
00:57:40,830 --> 00:57:42,040
- [Mangle's Henchman]
Good, don't lose him.
1522
00:57:42,090 --> 00:57:44,230
Wherever he goes,
Wolfman's bound to turn up.
1523
00:57:44,280 --> 00:57:46,520
Might as well stuff two
birds with one hand.
1524
00:57:46,570 --> 00:57:49,390
- [Radio Announcer] You're
listening to K-TALK FM 90.
1525
00:57:49,440 --> 00:57:51,870
Chinese Ambassador Hyun Chen
arrives in Washington tonight
1526
00:57:51,920 --> 00:57:54,870
to sign the amendment making
the U.S. a colony of China.
1527
00:57:54,920 --> 00:57:57,060
Where I can just split on
whether this business arrangement
1528
00:57:57,110 --> 00:58:00,060
will ultimately be good for
the average person or nor.
1529
00:58:00,110 --> 00:58:00,890
What do you think?
1530
00:58:00,940 --> 00:58:02,540
Connie in Philadelphia, on K-TALK.
1531
00:58:02,590 --> 00:58:04,870
- [Connie] I don't like Chinese
people any more than you do,
1532
00:58:04,920 --> 00:58:06,960
but I won't feel safe walking the streets
1533
00:58:07,010 --> 00:58:09,210
as long as this President's in office.
1534
00:58:09,260 --> 00:58:11,770
And yes, I am a street walker, so what?
1535
00:58:11,820 --> 00:58:12,790
- [Radio Announcer] As
a matter of fact, yes,
1536
00:58:12,840 --> 00:58:14,340
they eat dogs over there, so I'd say,
1537
00:58:14,390 --> 00:58:16,040
President Wolfman, watch out.
1538
00:58:17,720 --> 00:58:18,980
- [Helicopter Pilot] Stop
where you are, Bobby.
1539
00:58:19,030 --> 00:58:21,680
We've been ordered to
take you into custody.
1540
00:58:21,730 --> 00:58:24,320
This is for your own protection.
1541
00:58:24,370 --> 00:58:25,990
Your father is after you
1542
00:58:26,040 --> 00:58:28,460
and he is considered highly dangerous.
1543
00:58:28,510 --> 00:58:33,420
In fact, he hates you and
he's going to kill you.
1544
00:58:33,470 --> 00:58:34,550
- [Bobby] No!
1545
00:58:37,180 --> 00:58:40,740
- [Helicopter Pilot] Give
yourself up, give up on yourself.
1546
00:58:40,790 --> 00:58:43,020
You were destined to fail at life.
1547
00:58:44,600 --> 00:58:47,250
Damn it, it's too narrow to follow him in.
1548
00:58:47,300 --> 00:58:48,910
We've lost contact.
1549
00:58:48,960 --> 00:58:50,730
- [Mangle's Henchman] I'll
get the little punk myself.
1550
00:58:50,780 --> 00:58:51,960
He won't get far.
1551
00:58:52,010 --> 00:58:54,670
(intense music)
1552
00:59:05,280 --> 00:59:07,530
(splashes)
1553
00:59:16,470 --> 00:59:18,800
- [Agent On Road] This ought
to stop that kid in his tracks.
1554
00:59:18,850 --> 00:59:19,680
Watch out!
1555
00:59:20,980 --> 00:59:23,480
(car rambles)
1556
00:59:23,530 --> 00:59:26,030
- [Bobby] Dad, Dad, is that you?
1557
00:59:26,080 --> 00:59:27,360
Please don't hurt me.
1558
00:59:27,410 --> 00:59:30,400
I won't tell anyone
who you are, I promise.
1559
00:59:30,450 --> 00:59:31,930
- [Smokey The Bear] Hey, Bobby.
1560
00:59:31,980 --> 00:59:33,330
- [Bobby] You scared me.
1561
00:59:33,380 --> 00:59:35,200
I thought you were my father.
1562
00:59:35,250 --> 00:59:36,130
He's a werewolf.
1563
00:59:36,180 --> 00:59:40,130
- [Smokey The Bear] Oh, no,
we don't have werewolves here.
1564
00:59:40,180 --> 00:59:43,560
Camp David is a secure
environment where Presidents
1565
00:59:43,610 --> 00:59:46,640
and their families have
come for generations
1566
00:59:46,690 --> 00:59:50,550
to enjoy recreation
and the great outdoors.
1567
00:59:50,600 --> 00:59:52,580
It's up to every individual
1568
00:59:52,630 --> 00:59:55,590
to help preserve the ecosystems in which--
1569
00:59:55,640 --> 00:59:57,120
(growls)
Oh shit!
1570
00:59:57,170 --> 00:59:57,950
Help me!
1571
00:59:58,000 --> 00:59:58,780
(growls)
1572
00:59:58,830 --> 01:00:00,250
- [Bobby] Smokey!
1573
01:00:08,230 --> 01:00:09,400
(girls giggle)
1574
01:00:09,450 --> 01:00:11,020
- [Little Girl] There's
a pervert in that car.
1575
01:00:11,070 --> 01:00:12,140
- [President Wolfman] Excuse me?
1576
01:00:12,190 --> 01:00:14,410
Have you girls seen a
little boy around here?
1577
01:00:14,460 --> 01:00:15,290
- [Little Girl] No.
1578
01:00:16,610 --> 01:00:18,080
- [Another Little Girl]
Wasn't that the President?
1579
01:00:18,130 --> 01:00:21,270
- [Little Girl] No, he's busy
selling us out to the Chinese.
1580
01:00:21,320 --> 01:00:24,380
- [Another Little Girl] It was
nice being free for a while.
1581
01:00:24,430 --> 01:00:27,550
- [Pilot] Attention, base,
I've got a visual contact.
1582
01:00:27,600 --> 01:00:29,930
- [President Wolfman] Bobby.
1583
01:00:31,860 --> 01:00:33,540
- [Mangle's Henchman]
I've got the boy cornered.
1584
01:00:33,590 --> 01:00:34,970
You're mine!
1585
01:00:35,020 --> 01:00:37,690
(intense music)
1586
01:00:38,780 --> 01:00:40,150
- [Little Boy In Pink] What the heck?
1587
01:00:40,200 --> 01:00:41,020
- [President Wolfman] Bobby, watch out!
1588
01:00:41,070 --> 01:00:42,420
(brakes screech)
1589
01:00:42,470 --> 01:00:44,050
- [Bobby] Oh, fuck.
1590
01:00:45,210 --> 01:00:46,310
- [President Wolfman] Touch that boy
1591
01:00:46,360 --> 01:00:47,810
and I'll chew off your penis!
1592
01:00:48,750 --> 01:00:50,400
Bobby, are you all right?
1593
01:00:50,450 --> 01:00:52,280
- [Bobby] (sobs) I'm sorry, Dad.
1594
01:00:52,330 --> 01:00:54,430
I thought you were gonna kill me.
1595
01:00:54,480 --> 01:00:55,460
- [President Wolfman] You crazy kid!
1596
01:00:55,510 --> 01:00:56,290
You know better.
1597
01:00:56,340 --> 01:00:59,530
- [Bobby] But I saw you
turn into that monster.
1598
01:00:59,580 --> 01:01:02,000
I didn't mean to make you so mad.
1599
01:01:02,050 --> 01:01:03,470
- [President Wolfman] I've
told you a million times,
1600
01:01:03,520 --> 01:01:06,520
I would never hurt you, not intentionally.
1601
01:01:06,570 --> 01:01:08,370
- [Bobby] You're not angry at me?
1602
01:01:08,420 --> 01:01:09,850
- [President Wolfman] No, if I had been,
1603
01:01:09,900 --> 01:01:12,260
you'd be face down in that
gutter in a puddle of blood.
1604
01:01:12,310 --> 01:01:15,050
- [Bobby] Then you might
still turn into it again?
1605
01:01:15,100 --> 01:01:15,880
- [President Wolfman] No, son.
1606
01:01:15,930 --> 01:01:17,230
Those days are over.
1607
01:01:17,280 --> 01:01:19,810
I'm going back to the White
House and do what's right.
1608
01:01:19,860 --> 01:01:22,230
I'll sign that veto and
save America's freedom.
1609
01:01:22,280 --> 01:01:25,280
Then I'll turn myself in to the police.
1610
01:01:25,330 --> 01:01:26,730
I'm going to jail.
1611
01:01:28,060 --> 01:01:30,200
I'll probably be raped in prison.
1612
01:01:30,250 --> 01:01:31,270
- [Bobby] Okay, Dad.
1613
01:01:31,320 --> 01:01:33,540
But I was kind of hoping you'd change
1614
01:01:33,590 --> 01:01:35,520
into the werewolf one more time.
1615
01:01:35,570 --> 01:01:38,550
Just to see the look on all
those crooked politicians
1616
01:01:38,600 --> 01:01:40,980
in Congress who try to push you around.
1617
01:01:41,030 --> 01:01:44,110
And watch you rip their
fucking throats out.
1618
01:01:44,160 --> 01:01:45,010
(laugh)
1619
01:01:45,060 --> 01:01:46,370
- [President Wolfman] On
the floor of the Senate!
1620
01:01:46,420 --> 01:01:48,450
- [Bobby] Or in like, the rose garden.
1621
01:01:48,500 --> 01:01:49,940
- [President Wolfman] You
know something, Bobby,
1622
01:01:49,990 --> 01:01:50,840
when this is all over,
1623
01:01:50,890 --> 01:01:52,890
we're going to take that camping trip.
1624
01:01:52,940 --> 01:01:54,840
I promise we'll be a family again.
1625
01:01:54,890 --> 01:01:56,410
- [Bobby] I love you, Dad.
1626
01:01:57,820 --> 01:01:58,920
- [President Wolfman] Me too.
1627
01:02:00,350 --> 01:02:02,700
I want you to take this
to the Capital Building.
1628
01:02:02,750 --> 01:02:03,810
- [Agent Tackler] You've
made the right choice,
1629
01:02:03,860 --> 01:02:04,990
Mister President.
1630
01:02:05,040 --> 01:02:07,550
You may lose the election,
but they'll thank you
1631
01:02:07,600 --> 01:02:08,530
in the history books.
1632
01:02:08,580 --> 01:02:09,360
- [President Wolfman] The first President
1633
01:02:09,410 --> 01:02:11,190
of the United States ever
to be convicted of murder
1634
01:02:11,240 --> 01:02:12,070
while in office.
1635
01:02:12,120 --> 01:02:13,860
Yeah, thanks, a lot.
1636
01:02:15,950 --> 01:02:17,370
- [VP Mangle] The veto's no good.
1637
01:02:17,420 --> 01:02:20,670
I've folded it up and put it
inside this tiny space drone.
1638
01:02:20,720 --> 01:02:23,760
Two hours from now, I'll
be signing the agreement
1639
01:02:23,810 --> 01:02:26,740
with the Chinese Ambassador
and this piece of paper
1640
01:02:26,790 --> 01:02:28,620
will be halfway to Uranus.
1641
01:02:28,670 --> 01:02:29,450
- [Mangle's Henchman] I see.
1642
01:02:29,500 --> 01:02:30,440
And what about the President?
1643
01:02:30,490 --> 01:02:31,310
- [VP Mangle] What President?
1644
01:02:31,360 --> 01:02:32,730
Haven't you seen the news?
1645
01:02:32,780 --> 01:02:34,220
He's a god damn werewolf!
1646
01:02:34,270 --> 01:02:36,030
- [Mangle's Henchman] That's
what I'm worried about.
1647
01:02:36,080 --> 01:02:38,320
- [VP Mangle] Prime
Minister Edward Mangle.
1648
01:02:38,370 --> 01:02:40,170
Has a nice ring, doesn't it?
1649
01:02:40,220 --> 01:02:43,650
Shame that sucker Wolfman
won't be around to see it.
1650
01:02:43,700 --> 01:02:46,220
He'll be in some
veterinarian's waiting room
1651
01:02:46,270 --> 01:02:48,000
in line for euthanasia (laughs).
1652
01:02:49,160 --> 01:02:49,950
- [Mangle's Henchman] Why would he wait
1653
01:02:50,000 --> 01:02:50,940
for a bunch of Asian kids?
1654
01:02:50,990 --> 01:02:52,820
- [VP Mangle] To be put down, dumb ass!
1655
01:02:52,870 --> 01:02:54,020
Fucking retard.
1656
01:02:55,600 --> 01:02:57,300
We oughta get that door fixed.
1657
01:02:57,350 --> 01:02:59,430
Another detail the President overlooked.
1658
01:02:59,480 --> 01:03:01,170
Just like he didn't know I've been working
1659
01:03:01,220 --> 01:03:03,720
with the Chinese to carve
up a new map of the U.S.
1660
01:03:04,760 --> 01:03:06,800
One in which the state of
Florida will be altered
1661
01:03:06,850 --> 01:03:09,440
to look like Carol Channing's vagina,
1662
01:03:09,490 --> 01:03:12,810
and Minnesota will be
reshaped as my dick and balls!
1663
01:03:12,860 --> 01:03:14,410
And the vagina and the balls come up
1664
01:03:14,460 --> 01:03:16,750
and the dick goes into
their fat pussy (laughs).
1665
01:03:17,670 --> 01:03:19,420
Better weather down there (laughs).
1666
01:03:23,330 --> 01:03:25,100
- [President Wolfman] I
can't allow this to happen.
1667
01:03:25,150 --> 01:03:27,220
I love the shape of Minnesota,
1668
01:03:27,270 --> 01:03:29,220
though the vagina thing is interesting.
1669
01:03:30,550 --> 01:03:32,230
- [VP Mangle] Almost forgot this baby.
1670
01:03:32,280 --> 01:03:33,850
If it fell in the wrong hands,
1671
01:03:33,900 --> 01:03:35,680
this country might actually have a shot
1672
01:03:35,730 --> 01:03:38,790
at retaining democracy,
freedom for the American people
1673
01:03:38,840 --> 01:03:41,890
and live up to its responsibility
as a beacon of hope
1674
01:03:41,940 --> 01:03:45,120
that this world isn't going
to hell in a hand sanitizer.
1675
01:03:46,510 --> 01:03:47,420
- [President Wolfman] I took an oath once,
1676
01:03:47,470 --> 01:03:51,140
that I promised to execute
faithfully, so help me God.
1677
01:03:52,080 --> 01:03:54,670
(somber music)
1678
01:04:00,960 --> 01:04:03,040
(growls)
1679
01:04:30,220 --> 01:04:33,010
President Lincoln, the 40th President.
1680
01:04:33,060 --> 01:04:35,280
You had all the answers,
the lasting respect
1681
01:04:35,330 --> 01:04:36,740
of the American people.
1682
01:04:36,790 --> 01:04:40,020
I could sure use some
guidance right about now.
1683
01:04:40,070 --> 01:04:41,800
- [Abe Lincoln] Well, my son.
1684
01:04:41,850 --> 01:04:46,170
It appears you've gotten
yourself into quite a pickle.
1685
01:04:46,220 --> 01:04:49,720
(chuckles) Did you know
I invented pickles?
1686
01:04:49,770 --> 01:04:52,100
- [President Wolfman] Please,
tell me, what should do?
1687
01:04:52,150 --> 01:04:54,240
- [Abe Lincoln] There's only one option.
1688
01:04:54,290 --> 01:04:57,310
You must exterminate the Chinese.
1689
01:04:58,210 --> 01:04:58,990
- [President Wolfman] Really?
1690
01:04:59,040 --> 01:05:01,090
- [Abe Lincoln] Drop
bombs on their cities,
1691
01:05:01,140 --> 01:05:03,300
machine gun them while they sleep.
1692
01:05:03,350 --> 01:05:06,830
Murder their children and use their blood
1693
01:05:06,880 --> 01:05:10,550
to paint pornographic
images on their farm fields
1694
01:05:10,600 --> 01:05:14,800
so enormous they're visible from space.
1695
01:05:14,850 --> 01:05:18,130
Kill their pets and stuff
them down the toilet
1696
01:05:18,180 --> 01:05:23,180
so that all of their poop will
pile up and begin to smell.
1697
01:05:23,600 --> 01:05:26,690
Don't stopp until every
trace of their culture
1698
01:05:26,740 --> 01:05:30,370
is stamped out, except for mooshoo pork.
1699
01:05:31,610 --> 01:05:34,370
I loves me some mooshoo pork.
1700
01:05:34,420 --> 01:05:36,050
- [President Wolfman] But
that's a billion people
1701
01:05:36,100 --> 01:05:37,180
wiped off the planet.
1702
01:05:37,230 --> 01:05:41,820
- [Abe Lincoln] Hey, this
isn't a popularity contest.
1703
01:05:41,870 --> 01:05:45,500
You know how many people
died in the Civil War?
1704
01:05:45,550 --> 01:05:48,330
The level of devastation?
1705
01:05:48,380 --> 01:05:50,600
Why, there's parts of Mississippi
1706
01:05:50,650 --> 01:05:53,670
that still can't support
human life thanks to me.
1707
01:05:54,550 --> 01:05:57,820
And yet, look where I am today.
1708
01:05:57,870 --> 01:06:02,100
They built me a statue
the size of Fort Knox
1709
01:06:02,150 --> 01:06:05,670
with a big marble McMansion to hold it.
1710
01:06:05,720 --> 01:06:10,720
Now, you go back there, Wolfman,
and you tell those bastards
1711
01:06:11,710 --> 01:06:15,430
that nobody, and I mean nobody,
1712
01:06:15,480 --> 01:06:20,400
fucks with the President
of the United States!
1713
01:06:22,150 --> 01:06:23,290
- [President Wolfman] Here's
what we're going to do.
1714
01:06:23,340 --> 01:06:25,310
Jonesy, you'll let me on
that chopper before Mangle
1715
01:06:25,360 --> 01:06:27,220
and his Chinese counterpart board.
1716
01:06:27,270 --> 01:06:29,870
They won't even know I'm
there until I surprise them.
1717
01:06:29,920 --> 01:06:30,700
- [Captain Jones] I just hope
1718
01:06:30,750 --> 01:06:32,430
you can keep your cool up there.
1719
01:06:32,480 --> 01:06:34,220
- [President Wolfman] I am going
to resolve this peacefully.
1720
01:06:34,270 --> 01:06:37,480
After all, I'm the President
of the United States.
1721
01:06:37,530 --> 01:06:39,980
I'm as cool as they come, cucumber.
1722
01:06:40,030 --> 01:06:40,960
- [Captain Jones] Yeah.
1723
01:06:41,010 --> 01:06:42,540
- [Agent Tackler] Good
luck, Mister President.
1724
01:06:42,590 --> 01:06:43,820
You'll need it.
1725
01:06:43,870 --> 01:06:45,930
The nation is depending on you.
1726
01:06:45,980 --> 01:06:47,240
- [President Wolfman] God bless 'em.
1727
01:06:47,290 --> 01:06:48,310
Let's go, gentlemen.
1728
01:06:51,470 --> 01:06:54,270
- [Announcer] Lights,
camera, teenage girls!
1729
01:06:54,320 --> 01:06:58,090
Welcome to the annual Miss
American Junior Miss Pageant,
1730
01:06:58,140 --> 01:07:02,030
featuring the hottest young
ladies from across our nation!
1731
01:07:02,080 --> 01:07:07,050
This year's broadcast is
brought to by Chimerica!
1732
01:07:08,070 --> 01:07:10,650
(upbeat music)
1733
01:07:14,150 --> 01:07:15,270
- [VP Mangle] Come on, Ambassador Chen.
1734
01:07:15,320 --> 01:07:17,290
We're on taxpayer time here.
1735
01:07:17,340 --> 01:07:19,240
- [Ambassador Chen] Why
must we sign the agreement
1736
01:07:19,290 --> 01:07:21,250
in a god damn helicopter?
1737
01:07:21,300 --> 01:07:23,250
Don't you have desks in this country?
1738
01:07:23,300 --> 01:07:25,370
- [VP Mangle] It's got to
do with neutral airspace,
1739
01:07:25,420 --> 01:07:26,460
all that shit.
1740
01:07:26,510 --> 01:07:27,880
You know how they get all OCD
1741
01:07:27,930 --> 01:07:30,220
with this type of international pact.
1742
01:07:30,270 --> 01:07:32,350
We are changing history, for God's sake.
1743
01:07:32,400 --> 01:07:33,990
At ease, sailor.
1744
01:07:34,040 --> 01:07:36,750
Very good, okay, welcome aboard.
1745
01:07:36,800 --> 01:07:39,900
Once we're at 14,000 feet,
we'll get this puppy signed
1746
01:07:39,950 --> 01:07:40,840
and squared away.
1747
01:07:40,890 --> 01:07:43,280
Find a seat, then, we can pop the corks
1748
01:07:43,330 --> 01:07:46,510
and toast a new era,
the Chimerican century.
1749
01:07:46,560 --> 01:07:48,410
- [Ambassador Chen] Yeah,
I really like that name.
1750
01:07:48,460 --> 01:07:50,910
- [VP Mangle] Has superpower
written all over it.
1751
01:07:50,960 --> 01:07:51,900
(chuckles)
1752
01:07:51,950 --> 01:07:53,050
Doesn't it, stewardess?
1753
01:07:53,100 --> 01:07:54,610
- [President Wolfman] (in
lady voice) Uh, for sure, sir.
1754
01:07:56,800 --> 01:07:59,270
- [Ambassador Chen] I must
admit I am looking forward
1755
01:07:59,320 --> 01:08:01,280
to the takeover of your country.
1756
01:08:01,330 --> 01:08:04,810
We plan on spreading disease
throughout your community
1757
01:08:04,860 --> 01:08:07,840
and contaminating hospital
almost immediately.
1758
01:08:07,890 --> 01:08:08,670
- [VP Mangle] Well, that's great.
1759
01:08:08,720 --> 01:08:10,740
I'll be living on top of the Eiffel Tower,
1760
01:08:10,790 --> 01:08:13,170
so, won't make a damn
bit of difference to me.
1761
01:08:13,220 --> 01:08:15,600
- [Ambassador Chen] By the
way, I brought the new version
1762
01:08:15,650 --> 01:08:18,880
of your Constitution, we
make a few corrections.
1763
01:08:18,930 --> 01:08:20,580
- [VP Mangle] Oh, like what?
1764
01:08:20,630 --> 01:08:22,640
- [Ambassador Chen]
Well, Freedom of Speech
1765
01:08:22,690 --> 01:08:25,370
is now Freedom of Spee.
1766
01:08:25,420 --> 01:08:26,630
- [VP Mangle] What's spee?
1767
01:08:26,680 --> 01:08:27,930
- [Ambassador Chen] Nothing.
1768
01:08:27,980 --> 01:08:30,620
It's a made up word that
people have the freedom to do
1769
01:08:30,670 --> 01:08:32,460
instead of speech.
1770
01:08:32,510 --> 01:08:35,080
It was easier to scratch
out a couple of letters
1771
01:08:35,130 --> 01:08:37,380
than reprint the whole fucking thing.
1772
01:08:37,430 --> 01:08:39,050
- [VP Mangle] Now, that's clever.
1773
01:08:39,100 --> 01:08:41,600
- [Ambassador Chen] And we
also support gay marriage.
1774
01:08:41,650 --> 01:08:45,100
And the right to kill
anyone under the age of 26
1775
01:08:45,150 --> 01:08:47,230
at anytime for any reason.
1776
01:08:47,280 --> 01:08:48,150
- [VP Mangle] I love it!
1777
01:08:48,200 --> 01:08:50,110
That's gonna be so awesome.
1778
01:08:50,160 --> 01:08:52,820
The American way of life is finished.
1779
01:08:52,870 --> 01:08:54,860
- [Ambassador Chen]
Oh, and check this out:
1780
01:08:54,910 --> 01:08:57,700
we plan to convert your Statue of Liberty
1781
01:08:57,750 --> 01:09:00,380
into the world's largest brothel.
1782
01:09:00,430 --> 01:09:02,650
50 floors of furburglar.
1783
01:09:02,700 --> 01:09:04,840
- [VP Mangle] Well, that's
fine for incoming immigrants
1784
01:09:04,890 --> 01:09:06,070
but it'll cost extra.
1785
01:09:06,120 --> 01:09:08,270
- [Ambassador Chen] I was
thinking around this much.
1786
01:09:08,320 --> 01:09:09,210
- [VP Mangle] That's low.
1787
01:09:09,260 --> 01:09:10,430
Come now, Ambassador.
1788
01:09:10,480 --> 01:09:11,950
I've got a kids in college.
1789
01:09:12,000 --> 01:09:14,210
- [Ambassador Chen] Okay,
okay, don't suck me dry here.
1790
01:09:14,260 --> 01:09:16,420
- [VP Mangle] The hookers
will do that, right?
1791
01:09:16,470 --> 01:09:17,630
- [Ambassador Chen] Did
you clear up the issue
1792
01:09:17,680 --> 01:09:19,580
with your President Wolfman?
1793
01:09:19,630 --> 01:09:23,350
Because if he's still officially
in office upon signing,
1794
01:09:23,400 --> 01:09:26,140
this document won't be worth the 18 pound
1795
01:09:26,190 --> 01:09:29,530
of solid gold brick and diamond
encrusted plutonium tablets
1796
01:09:29,580 --> 01:09:30,600
it's printed on.
1797
01:09:30,650 --> 01:09:32,900
- [VP Mangle] Don't sweat,
I've taken care of him.
1798
01:09:32,950 --> 01:09:35,050
I'm the President, now.
1799
01:09:35,100 --> 01:09:36,740
- [Ambassador Chen] Then why is he sitting
1800
01:09:36,790 --> 01:09:38,270
in that seat over there?
1801
01:09:38,320 --> 01:09:39,100
- [VP Mangle] Nonsense!
1802
01:09:39,150 --> 01:09:41,170
- [Ambassador Chen] And
he appears to be changing
1803
01:09:41,220 --> 01:09:42,360
into that werewolf!
1804
01:09:42,410 --> 01:09:44,250
- [VP Mangle] That was
only a story I planted
1805
01:09:44,300 --> 01:09:46,490
to connect the President
to the string of murders.
1806
01:09:46,540 --> 01:09:48,920
There's no such thing as werewolves.
1807
01:09:48,970 --> 01:09:50,020
Deep shit.
1808
01:09:50,070 --> 01:09:52,060
- [Ambassador Chen] We have
them in Gansu Province.
1809
01:09:52,110 --> 01:09:53,010
You must beware!
1810
01:09:53,060 --> 01:09:54,640
- [VP Mangle] You and your superstitions.
1811
01:09:54,690 --> 01:09:58,800
John Wolfman is weak, indecisive,
and pathetic, always was.
1812
01:09:58,850 --> 01:10:00,120
The man can't lead himself
1813
01:10:00,170 --> 01:10:02,540
out of a plastic bag made in China!
1814
01:10:02,590 --> 01:10:03,900
- [President Wolfman] (in
werewolf voice) That's it!
1815
01:10:03,950 --> 01:10:05,140
That is it!
1816
01:10:05,190 --> 01:10:06,200
- [VP Mangle] What the?
1817
01:10:06,250 --> 01:10:07,270
- [Ambassador Chen] Does that thing
1818
01:10:07,320 --> 01:10:09,100
look like a plastic bag to you, Mangle?
1819
01:10:09,150 --> 01:10:10,070
- [President Wolfman] (in
werewolf voice) You better fasten
1820
01:10:10,120 --> 01:10:11,900
your seat belt, Ed.
1821
01:10:11,950 --> 01:10:12,930
- [VP Mangle] Oh, my God.
1822
01:10:12,980 --> 01:10:15,160
I know the standards for flight
attendants has gone down,
1823
01:10:15,210 --> 01:10:16,440
but this is ridiculous.
1824
01:10:16,490 --> 01:10:17,640
- [Ambassador Chen] Who is this creature?
1825
01:10:17,690 --> 01:10:19,350
- [President Wolfman]
I'm the boss, soy sauce.
1826
01:10:19,400 --> 01:10:20,180
- [Captain Jones] Base command?
1827
01:10:20,230 --> 01:10:22,030
We've got an emergency up here.
1828
01:10:22,080 --> 01:10:23,080
- [Air Force General]
Attention all air force
1829
01:10:23,130 --> 01:10:24,410
and military personnel.
1830
01:10:24,460 --> 01:10:26,230
We've got a security breach code one
1831
01:10:26,280 --> 01:10:27,890
on the presidential helicopter.
1832
01:10:27,940 --> 01:10:29,370
The werewolf is on the aircraft.
1833
01:10:29,420 --> 01:10:32,060
I repeat, the werewolf is on the aircraft.
1834
01:10:32,110 --> 01:10:33,690
Your orders are to escort to safety
1835
01:10:33,740 --> 01:10:35,500
or take down if necessary.
1836
01:10:35,550 --> 01:10:36,640
This is for all personnel.
1837
01:10:36,690 --> 01:10:37,910
- [President Wolfman] (in
werewolf voice) I've heard
1838
01:10:37,960 --> 01:10:39,850
you desecrate the founding principles
1839
01:10:39,900 --> 01:10:41,400
of the country long enough.
1840
01:10:41,450 --> 01:10:44,070
How dare you call yourself an American.
1841
01:10:44,120 --> 01:10:45,550
- [VP Mangle] Listen here, Wolfman.
1842
01:10:45,600 --> 01:10:48,010
I'm rescuing our economy
from total collapse.
1843
01:10:48,060 --> 01:10:50,080
We're running a business
here, not a malt shop,
1844
01:10:50,130 --> 01:10:51,800
and that is American.
1845
01:10:51,850 --> 01:10:53,840
I only want what's best for the people.
1846
01:10:53,890 --> 01:10:54,680
- [President Wolfman] The people?
1847
01:10:54,730 --> 01:10:57,560
You wouldn't know the people
if one bit you on the ass!
1848
01:10:57,610 --> 01:10:58,540
- [VP Mangle] I'm warning you, Wolfman.
1849
01:10:58,590 --> 01:11:01,040
You no longer have authority here.
1850
01:11:01,090 --> 01:11:03,020
I was sworn in two hours ago.
1851
01:11:03,070 --> 01:11:03,930
- [President Wolfman]
And I swore to defend
1852
01:11:03,980 --> 01:11:07,030
the United States
Constitution or die trying!
1853
01:11:07,080 --> 01:11:08,190
- [VP Mangle] Stay back!
1854
01:11:08,240 --> 01:11:11,590
I've got your constitution right
here, rolled up in my hand.
1855
01:11:11,640 --> 01:11:12,860
Now, fetch it!
1856
01:11:12,910 --> 01:11:14,310
Go fetch!
1857
01:11:14,360 --> 01:11:15,490
Atta boy, go on.
1858
01:11:16,590 --> 01:11:17,940
Good boy, come on back!
(Wolfman barks)
1859
01:11:17,990 --> 01:11:19,550
Come on back, drop it.
1860
01:11:19,600 --> 01:11:22,300
Drop it, atta boy, come
on back, come on back.
1861
01:11:22,350 --> 01:11:23,930
Good boy, good boy!
1862
01:11:23,980 --> 01:11:27,370
Drop it, drop it, paw, paw.
1863
01:11:27,420 --> 01:11:29,100
Good boy.
(Wolfman growls)
1864
01:11:29,150 --> 01:11:31,790
Wait there, I said, wait there.
1865
01:11:31,840 --> 01:11:33,620
- [Air Force Pilot] Base command,
we've made visual contact
1866
01:11:33,670 --> 01:11:35,680
with the target and
are prepared to engage.
1867
01:11:35,730 --> 01:11:37,100
- [Captain Jones] Hang
on, fellas, don't shoot.
1868
01:11:37,150 --> 01:11:38,000
I'm bringing her down.
1869
01:11:38,050 --> 01:11:39,410
- [Air Force General] Roger that.
1870
01:11:39,460 --> 01:11:40,290
We'll be ready.
1871
01:11:41,150 --> 01:11:42,190
- [VP Mangle] I'm prepared to offer you
1872
01:11:42,240 --> 01:11:43,740
an attractive severance package.
1873
01:11:43,790 --> 01:11:44,790
Your own island.
1874
01:11:44,840 --> 01:11:46,130
- [President Wolfman] I already have one.
1875
01:11:46,180 --> 01:11:47,870
It's called North America!
1876
01:11:47,920 --> 01:11:50,170
- [Ambassador Chen] I knew
this was a stupid idea.
1877
01:11:50,220 --> 01:11:52,610
We should have invaded Puerto Rico.
1878
01:11:52,660 --> 01:11:53,550
- [President Wolfman] Shut up!
1879
01:11:53,600 --> 01:11:55,290
- [Captain Jones] Don't do it, John!
1880
01:11:56,920 --> 01:11:58,380
(growls)
1881
01:11:58,430 --> 01:12:00,160
- [VP Mangle] Somebody help me!
1882
01:12:00,210 --> 01:12:01,870
The President's gone mad!
1883
01:12:01,920 --> 01:12:02,860
(Wolfman howls)
1884
01:12:02,910 --> 01:12:03,800
- [VP Mangle] Get off!
1885
01:12:03,850 --> 01:12:06,470
Ow, get off!
1886
01:12:06,520 --> 01:12:07,960
- [President Wolfman] Nobody
messes with the United States
1887
01:12:08,010 --> 01:12:09,060
and gets away with it.
1888
01:12:09,110 --> 01:12:11,580
Nobody messes with President Wolfman!
1889
01:12:11,630 --> 01:12:12,870
Hail to the teeth!
1890
01:12:14,600 --> 01:12:15,380
- [VP Mangle] Get off me!
1891
01:12:15,430 --> 01:12:17,190
- [Newscaster] And the
President has been spotted
1892
01:12:17,240 --> 01:12:19,800
kicking the shit out of the vice president
1893
01:12:19,850 --> 01:12:22,240
at Andrews Air Force Base.
1894
01:12:22,290 --> 01:12:24,320
National Guard troops are in pursuit,
1895
01:12:24,370 --> 01:12:27,340
but he has so far
managed to elude capture.
1896
01:12:27,390 --> 01:12:30,340
All residents of Washington DC are advised
1897
01:12:30,390 --> 01:12:33,430
to stay indoors, as the
President is considered
1898
01:12:33,480 --> 01:12:36,420
to be a werewolf, and extremely dangerous.
1899
01:12:39,170 --> 01:12:41,830
(Wolfman howls)
1900
01:12:45,770 --> 01:12:47,040
- [Captain Jones] You all right, Mangle?
1901
01:12:47,090 --> 01:12:48,510
- [Agent Tackler] Back off, back off!
1902
01:12:48,560 --> 01:12:50,050
Give him some room.
1903
01:12:50,100 --> 01:12:51,820
- [Captain Jones] Hey,
we better find Wolfman.
1904
01:12:51,870 --> 01:12:53,480
Tell him he's still President.
1905
01:12:55,910 --> 01:12:58,240
- [VP Mangle] I made a mistake.
1906
01:12:58,290 --> 01:12:59,740
I'm sorry.
1907
01:12:59,790 --> 01:13:04,790
You can thank President Wolfman
for saving this country.
1908
01:13:06,800 --> 01:13:09,260
You poor dumb bastards.
1909
01:13:14,310 --> 01:13:17,480
(bright upbeat music)
1910
01:13:21,460 --> 01:13:22,850
- [Sandra] That you, John?
1911
01:13:22,900 --> 01:13:24,890
We missed you at the pageant tonight.
1912
01:13:24,940 --> 01:13:27,640
I'm sure you had some
important official business.
1913
01:13:27,690 --> 01:13:29,450
I'll have to get used to
that if I'm going to be
1914
01:13:29,500 --> 01:13:31,850
with the most powerful
man in the world, right?
1915
01:13:32,830 --> 01:13:33,620
- [President Wolfman] I'm finally ready
1916
01:13:33,670 --> 01:13:35,880
to consummate our relationship, Sandra.
1917
01:13:35,930 --> 01:13:39,820
I can now love you as man,
though I am no longer a man.
1918
01:13:39,870 --> 01:13:42,860
But this is the real me at last! (growls)
1919
01:13:42,910 --> 01:13:44,850
- [Sandra] John, no!
1920
01:13:44,900 --> 01:13:46,420
I thought you'd been cured.
1921
01:13:46,470 --> 01:13:47,250
- [President Wolfman] I have!
1922
01:13:47,300 --> 01:13:48,080
Can't you see?
1923
01:13:48,130 --> 01:13:51,630
I was weak before,
afraid, now, I feel alive.
1924
01:13:51,680 --> 01:13:55,430
And the one thing I must have now, is you!
1925
01:13:55,480 --> 01:13:56,470
- [Sandra] You're scaring me.
1926
01:13:56,520 --> 01:13:57,300
- [President Wolfman] Come here, woman.
1927
01:13:57,350 --> 01:13:59,460
Come and let me show you
how the President does it!
1928
01:13:59,510 --> 01:14:00,700
- [Sandra] I'll call the police.
1929
01:14:00,750 --> 01:14:01,850
I'll do it.
1930
01:14:01,900 --> 01:14:02,900
- [President Wolfman] I am the police.
1931
01:14:02,950 --> 01:14:06,330
I'm the army, the navy and
the motherfucking marines.
1932
01:14:06,380 --> 01:14:08,840
I've got the strength of
a hundred nuclear warheads
1933
01:14:08,890 --> 01:14:10,320
and I'm ready to explode!
1934
01:14:10,370 --> 01:14:12,120
- [Sandra] You're crazy with power!
1935
01:14:13,390 --> 01:14:15,470
(growls)
1936
01:14:17,010 --> 01:14:18,200
I love you, John.
1937
01:14:18,250 --> 01:14:20,540
I love you more than I've loved any man.
1938
01:14:20,590 --> 01:14:23,460
And that's why I must kill you.
1939
01:14:23,510 --> 01:14:25,010
God bless America.
1940
01:14:26,210 --> 01:14:28,130
(gun bangs)
1941
01:14:28,180 --> 01:14:30,260
(growls)
1942
01:14:34,670 --> 01:14:36,750
(laughs)
1943
01:14:47,120 --> 01:14:48,930
- [Agent Tackler] Mister President!
1944
01:14:48,980 --> 01:14:50,090
He's been shot!
1945
01:14:50,140 --> 01:14:50,970
Oh, no.
1946
01:14:52,010 --> 01:14:54,060
- [Captain Jones] Sandra, it's all right.
1947
01:14:55,500 --> 01:14:57,720
I can see why he liked you so much.
1948
01:14:57,770 --> 01:14:59,230
- [Agent Tackler] It's a shame.
1949
01:14:59,280 --> 01:15:02,300
He turned out to be a
damned good President
1950
01:15:02,350 --> 01:15:03,650
and a fine werewolf.
1951
01:15:03,700 --> 01:15:06,520
- [Captain Jones] And it
only took a monster to do it.
1952
01:15:06,570 --> 01:15:08,000
This time we were lucky.
1953
01:15:08,050 --> 01:15:09,520
We stopped him.
1954
01:15:09,570 --> 01:15:11,350
But what about next time?
1955
01:15:13,300 --> 01:15:14,640
- [Agent Tackler] That's it.
1956
01:15:14,690 --> 01:15:17,300
The national nightmare's over.
1957
01:15:17,350 --> 01:15:22,070
Somebody call the coroner,
or a vet, or something!
1958
01:15:22,120 --> 01:15:24,770
- [Sandra] John, John, John!
1959
01:15:24,820 --> 01:15:27,790
John, John, John!
1960
01:15:27,840 --> 01:15:32,830
John, John, John!
1961
01:15:37,270 --> 01:15:42,270
- [Bobby] My father, John
Wolfman, was a great man.
1962
01:15:42,530 --> 01:15:46,650
He was dedicated to
liberty, justice, freedom
1963
01:15:46,700 --> 01:15:51,360
and had an undying passion
for a big, beautiful count--
1964
01:15:53,330 --> 01:15:57,040
(paper rustles) trie, called
the United States of America.
1965
01:15:57,090 --> 01:16:02,090
It took a horrible curse, but
he faced down his opponents,
1966
01:16:02,260 --> 01:16:05,030
those who would seek to
compromise the values
1967
01:16:05,080 --> 01:16:07,770
we know our nation to hold dear,
1968
01:16:07,820 --> 01:16:11,680
and from the manifestation
emerged the man.
1969
01:16:12,710 --> 01:16:16,190
To me, he was also just Dad.
1970
01:16:16,240 --> 01:16:19,980
Another role that he grew
into and firmly triumphed over
1971
01:16:20,030 --> 01:16:22,960
in the days before his untimely demise.
1972
01:16:23,010 --> 01:16:25,270
We lay him to rest, today.
1973
01:16:25,320 --> 01:16:29,120
As the American people mourn, I, his son,
1974
01:16:29,170 --> 01:16:33,660
vow with renewed vigor,
to carry on the principles
1975
01:16:33,710 --> 01:16:36,970
for which my father strove to embody.
1976
01:16:37,020 --> 01:16:41,760
Those of compassion, to bring
down enemies of the truth,
1977
01:16:41,810 --> 01:16:44,980
justice, and (howls)!
1978
01:16:49,950 --> 01:16:52,270
- [Agent Tackler] My God, not again!
1979
01:16:52,320 --> 01:16:54,680
- [Newscaster] With the
President, the Vice President,
1980
01:16:54,730 --> 01:16:57,340
Speaker of the House,
and many senior members
1981
01:16:57,390 --> 01:17:00,960
of the Senate dead at the
hands of President Wolfman,
1982
01:17:01,010 --> 01:17:03,800
the question remains who is in line
1983
01:17:03,850 --> 01:17:06,780
to become the new leader of the country.
1984
01:17:06,830 --> 01:17:08,760
Well, after weeks of debate
1985
01:17:08,810 --> 01:17:10,830
among the nation's top officials,
1986
01:17:10,880 --> 01:17:13,770
a decision has finally been reached.
1987
01:17:13,820 --> 01:17:15,160
And here she is!
1988
01:17:16,640 --> 01:17:18,220
- [Announcer] Arizona Miss Junior!
1989
01:17:18,270 --> 01:17:20,860
(crowd cheers)
1990
01:17:23,900 --> 01:17:27,230
(dramatic upbeat music)
1991
01:17:49,120 --> 01:17:50,460
- [Miss Arizona] Washington
is a beautiful city,
1992
01:17:50,510 --> 01:17:54,940
flowers just all around,
(mumbles) view of the House,
1993
01:17:54,990 --> 01:17:57,820
I was impressed with the capital
and the Washington monument
1994
01:17:57,870 --> 01:17:59,280
and the White House.
1995
01:17:59,330 --> 01:18:02,740
I enjoyed the (mumlbes)
excitement in Washington.
1996
01:18:03,880 --> 01:18:07,710
I was (mumbles) scared to see
what it was (mumbles) like,
1997
01:18:07,760 --> 01:18:09,560
and I didn't know what
the girls will be like
1998
01:18:09,610 --> 01:18:11,510
and I didn't know how the people would be.
1999
01:18:11,560 --> 01:18:13,720
(mumbles)
2000
01:18:17,260 --> 01:18:19,730
I mean, there's just something about them
2001
01:18:19,780 --> 01:18:21,310
and the girls are all
dressed in their suits
2002
01:18:21,360 --> 01:18:23,070
and (mumbles) hats.
2003
01:18:23,120 --> 01:18:24,740
And the one thing that impressed
me out of the whole thing
2004
01:18:24,790 --> 01:18:27,320
would be enthusiasm of all the girls
2005
01:18:27,370 --> 01:18:29,370
and all the people that
worked at the pageant,
2006
01:18:29,420 --> 01:18:30,970
and I think it was really great.
2007
01:18:31,020 --> 01:18:32,770
Been all sorts of pageants
2008
01:18:32,820 --> 01:18:35,670
that are held in the United
States, but I think Junior Miss
2009
01:18:35,720 --> 01:18:39,790
recognizes the young girls
who really represent the best.
2010
01:18:39,840 --> 01:18:44,010
(intense upbeat orchestral music)
2011
01:18:56,400 --> 01:18:58,220
- [Spokesperson] Hi, the
film you have just seen
2012
01:18:58,270 --> 01:19:00,410
is a representation of what could happen
2013
01:19:00,460 --> 01:19:02,640
if our current President, John Wolfman,
2014
01:19:02,690 --> 01:19:05,580
is not re-elected for a
second term in office.
2015
01:19:05,630 --> 01:19:09,080
Luckily, there is no such thing
as werewolves in real life.
2016
01:19:09,130 --> 01:19:12,040
But China is real, and
so are black people.
2017
01:19:12,090 --> 01:19:15,450
So, this November, vote
to reelect the President
2018
01:19:15,500 --> 01:19:19,120
and keep a real Wolfman
in the White House.
2019
01:19:19,170 --> 01:19:19,950
- [President Wolfman] I'm John Wolfman,
2020
01:19:20,000 --> 01:19:22,020
and I approve this message.
2021
01:19:22,070 --> 01:19:25,070
♪ President Wolfman ♪
2022
01:19:26,850 --> 01:19:30,270
(upbeat energetic music)
145849
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