All language subtitles for My.Favorite.Martian.S01E06.The.Man.on.the.Couch.AMZN.WEB-DL.DDP2.0.H.264-NTb

(high-pitched humming)

(anxious violin tones)

- Uncle Martin, I wish
you wouldn't do that.

Now what happens if
that thing gives out?

- It'll last longer than I will

unless this heat wave breaks.

- Well you're in California,
it's always sunny here.

- Yeah well it seems
to me a world that

can invent the girdle
should be able to

control a simple thing
like the weather.

- Yeah well it
should break soon.

(plate shatters)

Hey Martin.

Uncle Martin?

- [News Anchor] Looking at
the weather, the temperature

climbed to a record 98.2
at the Civic Center today.

- Uncle Martin?

Uncle Martin, you're
supposed to be out

there helping me with
the dishes, remember?

- Shh, weather forecast.

- [News Anchor] Which
means that it'll be

just as hot and humid
for the next five days

as it's been for
the past two days.

- I won't last another
five days, Tim.

Your oxygen's so
rich anyway but with

this humidity and
heat, it's unbearable.

- Well I didn't know
it was that bad.

- I've got to get my
brain cells working again,

get some nice rarefied air.

Maybe a drive through
the mountains will help.

- Oh I'm sorry Uncle
Martin but I took

the car down to have
the valves ground.

I won't even have it
back 'til tomorrow.

- Well then a stroll on a
high sidewalk, anything.

Maybe I'll hop down
to the Weather Bureau

tomorrow and show
them how to make snow.

I'm sorry Tim but you can't
use this for the dishes.

You are not ready to solo yet.

(tepid ensemble tones)

- Darn mind-reading Martian.

(high-pitched beeping)

(mysterious electronic music)

(tepid trumpet, violin music)

(anxious violin music)

- You'll have to move,

I don't have strength
enough to walk around.

(anxious violin music)

(cat screeches)

That's better.

(relaxed violin music)

- Look, he's gonna jump.

I'll call the police.

(tense violin tones)

- Yes, yeah, yeah.

(frantic knocking)

- Oh Tim, your phone's
been off the hook

and Mr. Burns has been trying
to reach you all night.

Now let me see if I can
remember what he said.

Something about your
getting right down to the

Howel Tool Company, there's
something very big going on.

Well anyway whatever it was,

Mr. Burns sounded
terribly excited.

- Oh all right Mrs. Brown,
I'll go down right away.

Thank you very much.

(tepid flute tones)

Car keys, car keys, car keys.

No car keys, no car.

Mrs. Brown, Mrs. Brown!

(anxious violin music)

- Don't jump, fella.

Whatever it is, it
isn't worth your life.

Look we've all
got problems fella

but we can't let them
get the best of us.

Now why don't you just
come on down and we'll

talk about it over a cup
of coffee and a donut?

- I don't want a donut,
I want to be left alone!

- Tell them to get
the nets ready.

- Everything always looks

a lot better in
the morning, buddy.

Don't you see how
silly it is to jump?

- I don't want to jump!

- That's the ticket, now just
watch yourself coming down.

- I don't want to come down!

I want to be left alone!

Now go away!

- I always get this kind.
(car horn honking)

- Press, press, Los Angeles
Sun, let us through please.

Make way, we're
coming through, press.

- Mrs. Brown look, I just
wanted to borrow your car.

You don't have to
write the story for me.

- Oh but I can supply
the woman's touch, press.

- Press.

- Go away!

Go away!

- I see there's a man up there.

- Uncle Martin?
- Come on, get outta here.

- Pardon me sir,

my name is Tim O'Hara, I'm
with the Los Angeles Sun.

Now would you mind if I went
up there and spoke to him?

I know him.
- What?

- [Tim] I know him, I know him.

- You do huh?
- Yeah.

- Well I guess it won't
hurt but you better be

careful buddy, he's a
real oddball, he'll jump.

- Jump?

- Would you mind?

- Hey wait a minute.

(anxious violin tones)

- Hold on sir, don't
jump, I'm coming.

- I'm not going to jump.

- You know that and I
know that but they don't.

Anyway, I'm supposed
to stop you.

Well what are you doing up here?

- Getting some rarefied
air but since it's

getting so crowded up here,
I guess I'll disappear.

I'll meet you back
at the apartment.

- Huh, what?

- Meet you back
at the apartment.

- Oh no no, we
can't do that, no.

Mrs. Brown saw you
up here and anyway,

how am I gonna explain
where you went?

Wait a minute, wait a minute,

you gotta have some
kind of a story.

- Ah don't worry, a cup
of coffee and a donut

and the rescue squad
will have done its duty.

Now come on, we'll be back in
the apartment in half an hour.

(audience laughs)

(anxious flute, violin tones)

- How long has it been?
- 22 minutes, Mrs. Brown.

- You know it's
the loneliness Tim,

that's what drove him up there.

Oh that poor man,
I know how it is.

You know what he needs?

He needs brownies in the oven,

his shirts pressed
with loving care,

someone to look after him.

- He doesn't need anyone to
look after him, Mrs. Brown.

All he really needs is air.

- Well I'll give him that too.

- May I see my uncle now?

Oh well Mrs. Brown, I'll
tell Uncle Martin that

you're here and I'm sure that
will make him very happy.

- Tell him I'll bake him
some brownies tomorrow.

(laughs)

- Not a word, I
have been pinched,

padded, poked,
prodded and pummeled.

- Oh, well can you go now?

- Not until I've had my
psychiatric examination.

- Well now come on, I
gotta file my story.

What am I gonna write?

"Mr. Martin O'Hara, this
reporter's uncle is rescued

"from the top of a water
tower, they think he's crazy."

- I'm sorry Tim, I didn't
think anyone would see.

- Well what are you gonna
tell the psychiatrist?

- What he wants to hear.
- How are you gonna know that?

- Tim.

- Oh I see, you're gonna
read his mind and tell him

exactly what he wants to
hear you say to get out, huh?

- Good evening gentlemen,
I'm Dr. Bonnett.

Which one of you
is Martin O'Hara?

- I am, Doctor.

- Well if you would
excuse us, please?

Come right this way,
please sit down.

- Burnt toast.
- What was that?

- Nothing, Doctor.

- Oh, okay well I'll see
you soon Uncle Martin.

- Now I'm not here to judge
or punish you, Mr. O'Hara.

I'm here to listen
and help if I can.

- New hat.

- I beg your pardon?

- Oh, I was just trying
to collect your thoughts,

my thoughts.

- Go right ahead Mr. O'Hara,
take all the time you need.

- Are you sure you're
concentrating on
my case, Doctor?

- What?

Yes of course, what else
would I be thinking of?

Now just why were you on top

of that water tower, Mr. O'Hara?

- Well I...

Mailman.

Well you see, I'm a
building inspector and I

saw this water tower
and it seemed that it

was tilted about 14
degrees to the right.

In the interest of safety, I
decided to check the structure.

Then the police came and well,

here I am.

The whole thing just ballooned
out of all proportion.

As an intelligent man, I can
see that you can see that.

(audience laughs)

- Well I think we can
help you, Mr. O'Hara.

You seem to be suffering
from a not uncommon ailment,

a retreat from society.

A deep unfulfilled longing
to escape from reality.

In simple terms Mr.
O'Hara, you're probably

suffering from an endogenous
ego-defense mechanism

manifesting itself in obsessive
compulsion mechanisms,

creating a state of euphoria.

It's all psychogenic.

We should have a
course of treatment

worked out for you
by tomorrow morning.

- How long will I
have to stay here?

(tepid violin tones)

- Martin, you can't
just disappear from
your room like that.

- The nurse won't
be coming back to

get me for a couple
of minutes yet.

- Well what happened?

I thought you were supposed
to get yourself released.

- That's what I want
to talk to you about.

Dr. Bonnett's turning into
a very difficult case.

Tim, you're as
illogical and emotional

as the rest of the human race.

Tell me, what does
burnt toast, new hat,

mailman have to do with me
on top of a water tower?

- Is that what you
got out of his mind?

That doesn't make sense.

- Doesn't have to, Dr.
Bonnett's a human being.

- Look I have a
deadline in one hour.

Now Mr. Burns would like
to know what's so difficult

about a, well a nut
trying to commit suicide.

- Well he'll be calling
again in a minute.

Be sure to give him my worst.

I've got to go
now, Nurse Smith is

coming back to help
me brush my teeth.

- I wish I could disappear
like that for about a week.

- Is your uncle in there yet?

- No, no, he's out
brushing his teeth.

(telephone ringing)

Yes Mr. Burns, no there's
nothing new Mr. Burns.

Yes I know I'm a
reporter, Mr. Burns.

Yes I'd like to keep
my job, Mr. Burns.

Hello, Mr. Burns?

No there's nothing
new Mr. Burns.

Yes I know I'm a
reporter, Mr. Burns.

Yes I'd like to keep
my job, Mr. Burns.

- Ah, I hope it doesn't
bother you but I'm a pacer.

I always think
better on my feet.

- That's quite all right Doctor,

the clearer your thoughts,
the better off I'll be.

- How did you feel
when you suddenly

found yourself on top
of that water tower?

Were you elated, dejected,
frightened, confident?

- Elated.

- Uh-huh, uh-huh and
does this feeling

of elation always follow
acts of wild abandon

and how long do they last?

When they're over,

are you defiant about what
you did or do you feel--

- Why don't you call your
wife Doctor and apologize?

It wasn't really her fault.
- It most certainly was.

How did you know that I
had a fight with my wife?

- It's written all
over your face.

- Is it that obvious?

- I'm afraid so, Doctor.

- Well we, we can't let that
interfere with your treatment.

We are not here to
discuss my problems.

- Do you have problems, Doctor?

- Do I have problems?

Everyone has problems,
they never let you rest,

at parties, in the dentist's
chair or on picnics

and have you ever noticed
it's never their problem?

They're always asking
for some friend.

Even the mailman has a problem.

I'm not sure what it is
yet but I'll find it,

I've been watching him lately.

Demands, all the time demands.

There just doesn't seem to
be any time to rest anymore.

Too many problems.

- I'm not making
any demands, Doctor.

Come over here a minute, Doctor.

Why don't you take a second
right now to relax, Doctor?

Look at that view, you can
see the whole city from here

and the mountains.

- Beautiful.

You know you're a very
perceptive man, Mr. O'Hara.

- Thank you, Doctor.

I'm just trying to
understand the human race.

Why don't you call
your wife, Doctor?

You'll feel a lot better.

(relaxed violin music)

- I can't do that?
- Why not?

- It's part of her problem.

She's constantly doing
things to get me angry

just so that I will feel bad
afterwards and apologize.

- Oh, I can't believe that.
- No it's true, it's true.

Why else does she burn
the toast every morning?

- Maybe she just
can't make toast.

- Yes but why can't
she make toast?

There's got to be a
reason for everything.

Nothing just happens.
- Maybe it's an accident.

- There's no such
thing as an accident.

Accidents are caused
by unconscious drives.

Just the other day she went
out and bought a new hat.

Now she says it's because
she liked the style

but there's another
deeper reason.

Am I boring you?
- No, no, no.

I'm very interested.

- I'm grateful for
your time, Mr. O'Hara.

I really don't have
anyone to talk to.

- When did all this first start?

- Oh about a year ago, before
that everything was fine.

Helen was always so much fun.

The house used to be
so busy all the time,

both the children there.

Now with Pat married and
living in Michigan and

Ronnie in the Navy,

well it's,

it's hard after 22
years of being a parent

to suddenly realize
that you're all alone

and I guess Helen
just couldn't adjust

and I got tied up here
working 18 hours of day.

I had to of course but
Helen didn't understand.

She always used to but for
some reason she changed.

Little things at first
but I could tell.

- Oh there you are Martin,
I brought you brownies.

What in the world's
going on here?

It looks like...

(laughing)

Oh I beg your pardon.

- I'm ruined.

12 years of schooling,
28 years of being

a doctor and in five
seconds I'm ruined.

She'll go and
spread that all over

the hospital, I'll
be a laughingstock.

No don't Mr. O'Hara,
need I remind you

that I am the Doctor
and you are the patient?

- Don't give up now
Doctor, we're so close.

- Mrs. Brown.

- Is everything
all right, Doctor?

- Doctor, well
what happened now?

(tepid violin tones)

- You know you aren't
unique, Martin.

Loneliness is a disease
that besets all of society.

- Well look he's as normal,

well he's more normal than
a lot of people I've met.

- I'll admit he's a very
perceptive man in his way.

- Oh he is, he is, yes.

It's just as if he
could read minds.

- Yes exactly,
that's exactly it.

- Yes well he affects a
lot of people like that.

You see, Uncle Martin's just an

easy man to talk to, that's all.

Oh come on Doctor, give him
another chance will you?

Just talk to him again, please?

- Well, well it wasn't his
fault that I lost my head.

Well all right, all
right Mr. O'Hara.

All right, I'll try again.

- Oh thanks Doctor,
now you'll find

out just how normal
he really is.

- Hiding from teeny
little drafts,

afraid you'll get a
simple thing like a cold.

Now it's just a sign of
your unhappiness, Martin.

You know you're constantly
doing strange things.

Why from the first
moment you moved in,

I knew you were strange.

- Somebody's been lying to me.

- Doctor, Doctor allow
me to explain this--

- Nevermind, you've
confused me enough already.

From now on, we'll
start with the facts

all the way back to the day
you were born if need be.

Would you two excuse us?
- Oh yes goodbye, have fun.

(tepid violin, trumpet tones)

- Shall we proceed?

- Doctor, I have a confession.

I lied to you, I went
up on that water tower

because it was hot and
I wanted some fresh air.

- Go on.

Go on.
- That's all.

- That can't be all.

- It is, the higher you
go, the cooler it gets

and it worked, I felt great.

- Why didn't you tell me
this in the first place?

- I was afraid you
wouldn't believe me.

Everybody likes complex
answers these days.

They want to know
what kind of flower,

how much rain, what
brand of fertilizer.

Oh, I've been
guilty of it myself.

When I see a building, I check
if the foundation is level,

how the rivets are set,
if the girders are strong

but whenever I do
that I miss something.

- What?

- The beauty of the building.

I work too much from the inside.

Beauty becomes nuts and bolts,
hot rivets and cold steel.

I can't accept a
building for itself,

I have to poke and
probe, hunt and peck.

- Yes, yes I know.

- I've lost sight
of the basic things.

I can't see the
building for the marble,

the windows for the glass,
the flower for the fertilizer.

- [Harvey] Go on, go on.

- Why can't I smile
at a building?

Forget the fertilizer
and look at the flower.

- Ignore the toast
and see the new hat.

- What's wrong with me, Doctor?

- You're too wrapped
up in your work.

- Exactly.

Thank you Doctor for helping me.

- Thank you, Mr. O'Hara.

You're not only normal,
you're invaluable

and I'm going to use
what you just told me as

a basis for a paper on the
American work psychosis.

(relaxed violin music)

But first I'm going on
an extended vacation,

sort of a second honeymoon.

- That's just what the
world needs Doctor,

more second honeymoons.

- Give this to the nurse

and you'll get your
personal effects back.

- Thank you Doctor, bon voyage.

(relaxed flute, violin music)

- He did need help.
(audience laughs)

- Doctor Harvey Bonnett
announced that he will

undertake a research
project on the American

work psychosis based on
the previous experiments

and observations of
Mr. Martin O'Hara.

In an exclusive interview
with this reporter,

Doctor Bonnett said--

- Please, no more brownies.
(knocking)

- Hello dear, I
just had a few of

these left over and
it seemed a shame--

- It seemed a shame to
let them go to waste.

Well, Uncle Martin, look what
Mrs. Brown brought to us.

Uncle Martin?

Oh come on now, that's not fair.

We've got to, to share.

Uncle Martin?
- Martin?

It's like he disappeared.
- He sure did.

- [Lorelei] Well he
should be back soon.

Here Tim have a brownie,
it'll cheer you up.

- [Tim] Thanks a lot.

(playful flute tones)

(tepid violin, trumpet music)