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1
00:00:01,569 --> 00:00:04,305
[THUNDER]
2
00:00:06,807 --> 00:00:08,176
[SLICING]
3
00:00:08,209 --> 00:00:10,111
[WHOOSH]
4
00:00:12,213 --> 00:00:13,714
[HEARTBEAT]
5
00:00:21,722 --> 00:00:24,092
[HORN MUSIC TRANSITIONS INTO
ROCK THEME]
6
00:00:36,170 --> 00:00:37,638
[FIRE CRACKLING]
7
00:00:42,110 --> 00:00:43,177
[PEN SCRATCHES]
8
00:00:47,681 --> 00:00:49,350
[BIRD CALL]
9
00:00:52,720 --> 00:00:54,122
[WOLF HOWL]
10
00:00:59,160 --> 00:01:00,428
[METALLIC SQUEAK]
11
00:01:01,262 --> 00:01:02,630
[FAINT SCREAMS]
12
00:01:09,203 --> 00:01:10,504
[CROW CAWS]
13
00:01:39,733 --> 00:01:41,535
[MUSIC ENDS]
14
00:01:45,839 --> 00:01:48,276
[JAZZY BACKGROUND MUSIC]
15
00:01:59,287 --> 00:02:01,389
[MUTTERING QUIETLY TO
HIMSELF] Hey, Candice...
16
00:02:01,422 --> 00:02:03,724
I'm...I'm Larry.
17
00:02:03,757 --> 00:02:06,694
I go to this school, too.
18
00:02:06,727 --> 00:02:08,196
No.
19
00:02:08,229 --> 00:02:09,430
[CLEARING THROAT]
20
00:02:09,463 --> 00:02:11,199
Hey there, good looking.
21
00:02:11,232 --> 00:02:12,300
Good looking...Good...
22
00:02:12,333 --> 00:02:15,936
[SIGH]
Is...Is Candice...
23
00:02:15,969 --> 00:02:17,738
long for Candy?
24
00:02:17,771 --> 00:02:20,541
Because, you look good enough
to eat.
25
00:02:20,574 --> 00:02:23,544
Not that I'm... No...Not that
I'm a cannibal...
26
00:02:23,577 --> 00:02:25,179
...or anything...
27
00:02:25,213 --> 00:02:27,681
[FEMALE VOICE:
Really? That's it?
28
00:02:27,715 --> 00:02:32,286
You know, Larry. This could be
the dullest dream I've ever
invaded.
29
00:02:32,320 --> 00:02:33,487
Who are you?
30
00:02:33,521 --> 00:02:35,523
Name's Rogers.
31
00:02:35,556 --> 00:02:38,426
I'm your cousin. Well,
actually, I was your cousin.
32
00:02:38,459 --> 00:02:40,628
Didn't know I have a cousin...
33
00:02:40,661 --> 00:02:41,695
Had.
34
00:02:41,729 --> 00:02:44,432
Had...A cousin...
...like you.
35
00:02:44,465 --> 00:02:48,302
You don't know much, Larry.
That's why I'm here.
36
00:02:48,336 --> 00:02:50,471
How did you know I go
to Hackshire High?
37
00:02:50,504 --> 00:02:52,673
Oh, so that's what this is.
38
00:02:52,706 --> 00:02:55,243
You're still in high school.
Great.
39
00:02:55,276 --> 00:02:56,944
It's a private school.
40
00:02:56,977 --> 00:02:58,812
[LAUGHING] Yeah,
really private I'd say.
41
00:02:58,846 --> 00:03:01,449
Is that why there's
nobody here?
42
00:03:01,482 --> 00:03:02,616
It's spring break.
43
00:03:02,650 --> 00:03:04,452
Most of the students
already left,
44
00:03:04,485 --> 00:03:07,355
But I'm here boarding
with a few others
who stayed behind.
45
00:03:07,388 --> 00:03:09,990
Could we back up
for a second?
46
00:03:10,023 --> 00:03:12,526
No, I... I...
47
00:03:12,560 --> 00:03:15,663
I mean, to where you said
I had a cousin.
48
00:03:15,696 --> 00:03:17,898
Are you... related to me,
or...?
49
00:03:17,931 --> 00:03:19,367
...not?
50
00:03:19,400 --> 00:03:21,602
Well I was, but I have
some bad news.
51
00:03:21,635 --> 00:03:23,271
Well, mostly bad news for me.
52
00:03:23,304 --> 00:03:24,538
Actually, I'm dead.
53
00:03:24,572 --> 00:03:26,640
[OMINOUS MUSICAL BEAT]
54
00:03:26,674 --> 00:03:29,477
I'm...talking to a dead woman?
55
00:03:29,510 --> 00:03:32,280
Tried not to die, I really did.
56
00:03:32,313 --> 00:03:33,847
Kinda sucks.
57
00:03:33,881 --> 00:03:35,649
[HARP MUSIC]
58
00:03:35,683 --> 00:03:38,286
How are we having this
conversation?
59
00:03:38,319 --> 00:03:39,453
I'm in your mind, Larry.
60
00:03:39,487 --> 00:03:40,954
I came to you in a dream.
61
00:03:40,988 --> 00:03:43,357
This...This is all a dream.
62
00:03:43,391 --> 00:03:44,925
I'm inside your head.
63
00:03:44,958 --> 00:03:46,360
Wait...
64
00:03:46,394 --> 00:03:47,795
What about Candice?
65
00:03:47,828 --> 00:03:49,730
She's real. She's
Headmaster Hellion's niece.
66
00:03:49,763 --> 00:03:52,300
Is she as hot in real life
as she is in your fantasy,
67
00:03:52,333 --> 00:03:53,934
or are you just taking
creative liberty?
68
00:03:53,967 --> 00:03:55,403
LARRY: No.
69
00:03:55,436 --> 00:03:57,871
She's pretty hot in general.
70
00:03:57,905 --> 00:04:01,342
And you can't even go up and
talk to her in your own dream?
71
00:04:01,375 --> 00:04:04,278
That is really sad, Larry.
72
00:04:04,312 --> 00:04:06,347
Yeah, I'm not, uh...
73
00:04:06,380 --> 00:04:08,616
...exactly what you would
call a ladies man.
74
00:04:08,649 --> 00:04:11,885
No. You're what I'd call
a warlock.
75
00:04:11,919 --> 00:04:13,387
I'm sorry, what?
76
00:04:13,421 --> 00:04:15,022
You're turning 18 tomorrow,
Larry.
77
00:04:15,055 --> 00:04:16,957
There are powers inside of you.
78
00:04:16,990 --> 00:04:19,059
Let's just call
them "special abilities"
79
00:04:19,092 --> 00:04:20,694
that have been dormant.
80
00:04:20,728 --> 00:04:23,564
But come tomorrow, they will
be quite apparent.
81
00:04:24,898 --> 00:04:26,667
Are you crazy, or...?
82
00:04:26,700 --> 00:04:28,902
Dead. Not crazy.
83
00:04:28,936 --> 00:04:31,505
I was a witch. I know
about these things.
84
00:04:31,539 --> 00:04:33,974
My sudden death has activated
your warlock status.
85
00:04:34,007 --> 00:04:35,509
You'll be able to do things.
86
00:04:35,543 --> 00:04:37,611
Know things others don't.
87
00:04:37,645 --> 00:04:40,548
It's a blessing and a curse.
88
00:04:41,749 --> 00:04:43,717
Will I be able
to talk to Candice?
89
00:04:43,751 --> 00:04:44,752
[EXASPERATED SIGH]
90
00:04:44,785 --> 00:04:47,521
You do not need special
abilities to do that.
91
00:04:47,555 --> 00:04:49,423
[SIGH]
92
00:04:49,457 --> 00:04:51,992
I can see this is not going
to be an easy transition.
93
00:04:52,025 --> 00:04:53,727
Listen, we do not
have much time.
94
00:04:53,761 --> 00:04:55,629
You're going to get a present
in the mail to help you,
95
00:04:55,663 --> 00:04:57,865
And when you get control
of your special skills,
96
00:04:57,898 --> 00:04:59,867
I'll be back to guide you.
97
00:04:59,900 --> 00:05:02,636
Is this some sort of joke?
98
00:05:02,670 --> 00:05:05,839
A horse walks into a bar,
and the bartender says,
"Why the long face?"
99
00:05:05,873 --> 00:05:07,641
That's a joke.
100
00:05:07,675 --> 00:05:08,842
Come on!
101
00:05:08,876 --> 00:05:10,411
Get with the program.
102
00:05:10,444 --> 00:05:12,480
You can't stay young forever,
Larry Pothead.
103
00:05:12,513 --> 00:05:13,914
You've got to grow up.
104
00:05:13,947 --> 00:05:15,916
Let me help you.
105
00:05:16,784 --> 00:05:18,652
[POPPING SOUND]
106
00:05:20,020 --> 00:05:21,655
What's this?
107
00:05:21,689 --> 00:05:23,323
Candice's bikini.
108
00:05:26,460 --> 00:05:29,697
[BIRDS CHIRPING]
109
00:05:32,933 --> 00:05:34,902
-Good morning!
-Birthday boy!
110
00:05:34,935 --> 00:05:37,405
LARRY: Hey guys...What's up?
111
00:05:37,438 --> 00:05:39,740
We came to give
you your present.
112
00:05:39,773 --> 00:05:42,876
Thanks.
Where is it?
113
00:05:42,910 --> 00:05:44,578
You're wearing it.
114
00:05:44,612 --> 00:05:46,880
[LAUGHING]
115
00:05:48,616 --> 00:05:52,052
[INDISTINCT MUTTERING]
116
00:05:52,085 --> 00:05:54,722
You know, guys really
shouldn't wear makeup.
117
00:05:54,755 --> 00:05:58,626
Yeah...
It wasn't by choice.
118
00:05:58,659 --> 00:06:00,394
Rogers' VOICE: There
are powers inside of you...
119
00:06:00,428 --> 00:06:03,664
Come tomorrow, they will be
quite apparent.
120
00:06:03,697 --> 00:06:06,567
Buck, do I look
different to you at all?
121
00:06:06,600 --> 00:06:08,536
Is that a trick question?
122
00:06:08,569 --> 00:06:10,671
I mean, besides Tank
and Simon's makeover.
123
00:06:10,704 --> 00:06:12,706
Well, you're 18.
124
00:06:12,740 --> 00:06:13,941
You can vote.
125
00:06:13,974 --> 00:06:15,543
You're an adult now.
126
00:06:15,576 --> 00:06:17,845
BUCK'S VOICE: Yeah, right.
127
00:06:17,878 --> 00:06:19,613
"Yeah right," what?
128
00:06:19,647 --> 00:06:21,148
What?
129
00:06:21,181 --> 00:06:22,883
Are you making fun
of me too, now?
130
00:06:22,916 --> 00:06:25,486
I didn't say anything.
131
00:06:25,519 --> 00:06:27,054
BUCK: How did he
hear my thoughts?
132
00:06:27,087 --> 00:06:29,423
Don't be silly.
I didn't hear your thoughts.
133
00:06:29,457 --> 00:06:31,525
What? You just did it again.
134
00:06:31,559 --> 00:06:34,862
-Did what?
-You heard what I was thinking!
135
00:06:34,895 --> 00:06:37,030
-No, I didn't.
-Yes, you did.
136
00:06:37,064 --> 00:06:38,198
No, I didn't.
137
00:06:38,231 --> 00:06:40,968
-BUCK'S VOICE: Did too.
-Did not!
138
00:06:41,001 --> 00:06:42,903
You just did again!
139
00:06:42,936 --> 00:06:44,738
What?
140
00:06:44,772 --> 00:06:47,107
I didn't actually say,
"Did too."
141
00:06:47,140 --> 00:06:49,409
I only thought it.
142
00:06:49,743 --> 00:06:50,811
[SIGHS]
143
00:06:50,844 --> 00:06:53,180
You're weird.
144
00:06:53,213 --> 00:06:54,782
BUCK:
You're reading my mind.
145
00:06:54,815 --> 00:06:56,917
You're hearing my thoughts
right now.
146
00:06:56,950 --> 00:06:58,719
I can see it in your eyes.
147
00:06:58,752 --> 00:07:01,889
How are you speaking without
opening your mouth?
148
00:07:01,922 --> 00:07:03,924
You're telepathic!
149
00:07:03,957 --> 00:07:05,459
No, I'm not.
150
00:07:05,493 --> 00:07:07,961
That was a dream, that's...
None of that was real!
151
00:07:07,995 --> 00:07:09,096
Yes!
152
00:07:09,129 --> 00:07:10,230
Yes, you are.
153
00:07:10,263 --> 00:07:11,665
No, I'm not.
154
00:07:11,699 --> 00:07:13,934
No, I'm not!
155
00:07:13,967 --> 00:07:16,236
-This is total bull...
-Candice! Language.
156
00:07:16,269 --> 00:07:19,072
Total bull.
Horns and all.
157
00:07:19,106 --> 00:07:20,474
[DOORBELL RINGS]
158
00:07:20,508 --> 00:07:21,842
Why can't I go
hang out with Nick
159
00:07:21,875 --> 00:07:23,143
If you're just going to stick
here all day?
160
00:07:23,176 --> 00:07:24,912
That's all I want!
161
00:07:24,945 --> 00:07:26,179
Because you're my niece...
162
00:07:26,213 --> 00:07:27,781
Because Nick is
no good for you,
163
00:07:27,815 --> 00:07:29,783
and 19 year-old girls really
don't know what they want.
164
00:07:29,817 --> 00:07:32,185
Fine! But if I can't go to him,
he'll just come to me.
165
00:07:32,219 --> 00:07:34,522
No! He is not allowed
on this campus.
166
00:07:34,555 --> 00:07:35,956
I'm the headmaster here,
remember?
167
00:07:35,989 --> 00:07:37,725
What I say goes.
168
00:07:37,758 --> 00:07:39,126
Yeah, goes straight
into the garbage.
169
00:07:39,159 --> 00:07:40,961
[DOOR UNLATCHES, SQUEAKS OPEN]
170
00:07:40,994 --> 00:07:42,996
[ELECTRONIC BEAT PLAYS
THROUGH THE HOUSE]
171
00:07:43,030 --> 00:07:44,798
Oh, hello Headmaster Hellion.
172
00:07:44,832 --> 00:07:45,999
What brings you here today?
173
00:07:46,033 --> 00:07:47,901
What's up, Candy?
[LAUGH]
174
00:07:47,935 --> 00:07:49,202
Don't talk to her.
175
00:07:49,236 --> 00:07:51,939
I got a package here for a
"Larry Pothead".
176
00:07:51,972 --> 00:07:53,907
Pothead?
Larry Pothead?
177
00:07:53,941 --> 00:07:55,008
Is he...?
178
00:07:55,042 --> 00:07:57,545
Nah, his parents make
pots and pans for a living.
179
00:07:57,578 --> 00:07:59,513
He's a nerd.
180
00:07:59,547 --> 00:08:01,615
Okay, just...
Make sure he gets this.
181
00:08:01,649 --> 00:08:03,016
Alright.
182
00:08:03,050 --> 00:08:05,218
So, when you boys take off
for spring break?
183
00:08:05,252 --> 00:08:08,221
-Plans fell through.
-Wanna hang?
184
00:08:08,255 --> 00:08:10,157
Ladies do not "hang".
185
00:08:10,858 --> 00:08:12,660
I'll be around.
186
00:08:12,693 --> 00:08:14,094
No, you most certainly will not.
187
00:08:14,127 --> 00:08:15,796
That's not what you just said!
188
00:08:15,829 --> 00:08:17,197
Well since when do
you listen to me?
189
00:08:17,230 --> 00:08:19,232
-CANDICE: Since never!
-HEADMASTER HELLION: Exactly!
190
00:08:20,868 --> 00:08:22,536
[DOOR LATCHES SHUT]
191
00:08:22,570 --> 00:08:23,971
What do you think that is?
192
00:08:24,004 --> 00:08:25,806
[RATTLING]
193
00:08:25,839 --> 00:08:28,075
-What's up, guys?
-SIMON: You tell us!
194
00:08:28,108 --> 00:08:29,810
[LOUD RATTLING]
195
00:08:29,843 --> 00:08:31,078
Let me guess.
196
00:08:31,111 --> 00:08:33,714
-Mittens from Mommy?
-A book on bird-watching.
197
00:08:35,315 --> 00:08:37,551
-[QUIET, MAGICAL CHIME]
-TANK: What is that?
198
00:08:37,585 --> 00:08:38,952
A magic wand?
199
00:08:38,986 --> 00:08:40,754
What are you?
A wizard?
200
00:08:43,256 --> 00:08:45,125
Warlock.
201
00:08:45,158 --> 00:08:46,226
[LAUGHING]
202
00:08:46,259 --> 00:08:48,028
"A warlock."
203
00:08:52,633 --> 00:08:53,934
[DRIVING ELECTRONIC MUSIC]
204
00:08:53,967 --> 00:08:55,135
[BIRDS CHIRPING]
205
00:09:02,209 --> 00:09:04,812
What do you got there?
206
00:09:04,845 --> 00:09:07,247
Some sort of joke that I don't
find very funny.
207
00:09:07,280 --> 00:09:09,750
You hear that, Rogers?
I don't believe in magic.
208
00:09:09,783 --> 00:09:12,319
I don't believe in warlocks,
And I don't believe in you!
209
00:09:12,352 --> 00:09:13,821
-[SNAP]
-[MAGICAL CHIME]
210
00:09:13,854 --> 00:09:15,188
[SUPERNATURAL WHIRRING SOUND]
211
00:09:18,692 --> 00:09:20,728
Larry! Larry!
Is there anything I can do-
212
00:09:20,761 --> 00:09:22,095
-[WHOOSH]
-[STRANGE STATIC]
213
00:09:22,129 --> 00:09:24,665
-[WHOOSH]
-[IMPACT]
214
00:09:26,199 --> 00:09:27,935
[MAGICAL RINGING]
215
00:09:27,968 --> 00:09:29,302
[MUSIC STOPS]
216
00:09:29,336 --> 00:09:32,005
[GASP]
What happened?
217
00:09:32,039 --> 00:09:34,708
[SCOFFS]
Nice work, Boy Blunder.
218
00:09:34,742 --> 00:09:37,778
That wand was sent to help
you control your powers.
219
00:09:37,811 --> 00:09:40,113
Direct them.
That's what a wand does.
220
00:09:40,147 --> 00:09:42,382
Destroying it just put
all those magical powers
221
00:09:42,415 --> 00:09:44,317
inside you, and now you're
overloaded.
222
00:09:44,351 --> 00:09:46,286
What does that mean?
223
00:09:46,319 --> 00:09:48,321
Oh, you'll find out.
224
00:09:49,823 --> 00:09:51,659
How can I be a warlock?
225
00:09:51,692 --> 00:09:54,127
My parents were normal people.
226
00:09:54,161 --> 00:09:55,729
Your foster parents were
normal people.
227
00:09:55,763 --> 00:09:57,865
Your real parents were quite
special.
228
00:09:57,898 --> 00:09:59,700
Every now and then,
it skips a generation,
229
00:09:59,733 --> 00:10:02,202
But there always has to be
one...gatekeeper, so to speak,
230
00:10:02,235 --> 00:10:03,871
in our community.
231
00:10:05,105 --> 00:10:07,140
-"Gatekeeper."
-Uh huh.
232
00:10:07,174 --> 00:10:09,342
I was it, but I failed.
233
00:10:09,376 --> 00:10:11,178
And, unfortunately,
you're the only one left
234
00:10:11,211 --> 00:10:13,814
to pass the torch to.
It's not such a bad thing.
235
00:10:13,847 --> 00:10:15,783
You can actually have
quite a lot of fun
236
00:10:15,816 --> 00:10:17,317
once you get control
of your powers.
237
00:10:17,350 --> 00:10:18,986
Well, not that you're
supposed to.
238
00:10:19,019 --> 00:10:21,054
You gotta be responsible, but,
239
00:10:21,088 --> 00:10:25,325
I was known to bend the rules,
once or twice back in my day.
240
00:10:25,358 --> 00:10:28,028
Was I really reading
Buck's mind earlier?
241
00:10:28,061 --> 00:10:29,262
Mmh hmm.
242
00:10:29,296 --> 00:10:31,732
It's one of the abilities.
243
00:10:31,765 --> 00:10:33,033
What are the others?
244
00:10:33,066 --> 00:10:35,335
Do I look like
an instruction book to you?
245
00:10:35,368 --> 00:10:37,905
Just don't point at anybody.
246
00:10:37,938 --> 00:10:39,840
Why not?
247
00:10:39,873 --> 00:10:42,442
Now, when you give
somebody the finger,
248
00:10:42,475 --> 00:10:44,878
You'll really be giving
someone the finger.
249
00:10:44,912 --> 00:10:46,179
-[MAGICAL CHIME]
-[WHOOSH]
250
00:10:46,213 --> 00:10:47,948
[IMPACT]
251
00:10:47,981 --> 00:10:49,349
Told ya.
252
00:10:49,382 --> 00:10:51,719
[MAGICAL RINGING]
253
00:10:52,285 --> 00:10:53,386
Buck! Buck!
254
00:10:53,420 --> 00:10:55,856
I'm so sorry!
Wake up! Speak to me!
255
00:10:57,090 --> 00:10:58,826
[SPEAKING ROBOTICALLY]
My name is Buck Perdue.
256
00:10:58,859 --> 00:11:00,260
I'm 18 years old and I like
to watch movies
257
00:11:00,293 --> 00:11:02,229
and eat pizza.
258
00:11:02,262 --> 00:11:04,131
I go to Hackshire High school
and hope to be
259
00:11:04,164 --> 00:11:05,999
a plastic surgeon one day,
because I love breasts.
260
00:11:06,033 --> 00:11:08,401
Okay, okay.
You can stop talking.
261
00:11:08,435 --> 00:11:11,204
[SPEAKING NORMALLY]
What...What did you do to me?
262
00:11:11,238 --> 00:11:14,307
Nothing.
What makes you think that?
263
00:11:15,976 --> 00:11:16,844
Besides that?
264
00:11:18,511 --> 00:11:20,413
And the whole mind-reading
thing earlier?
265
00:11:22,449 --> 00:11:24,051
Okay. My hands can do things.
266
00:11:24,084 --> 00:11:25,886
I don't know what and I don't
know how to control it.
267
00:11:25,919 --> 00:11:27,821
Hey, what are you losers up to?
268
00:11:27,855 --> 00:11:29,790
Oh, look.
He broke his little wand.
269
00:11:29,823 --> 00:11:31,992
[LAUGHING]
270
00:11:32,025 --> 00:11:33,861
Get out of here
before I break yours too!
271
00:11:33,894 --> 00:11:35,428
-[MAGICAL ZAP]
-[GROANING IN PAIN]
272
00:11:35,462 --> 00:11:37,831
We...We were just leaving.
273
00:11:38,832 --> 00:11:40,433
That was awesome!
274
00:11:46,373 --> 00:11:49,376
So, you're like a warlock?
275
00:11:49,409 --> 00:11:52,512
I don't know what a real
warlock even is.
276
00:11:52,545 --> 00:11:54,481
I've only read
about them in kid's books.
277
00:11:54,514 --> 00:11:55,582
But you have powers,
278
00:11:55,615 --> 00:11:58,518
and you can point at things
and make stuff happen.
279
00:11:58,551 --> 00:12:01,054
I don't think it's that easy.
280
00:12:01,088 --> 00:12:03,056
Just try it out. What do
you have to lose?
281
00:12:03,090 --> 00:12:04,191
Possibly everything.
282
00:12:04,224 --> 00:12:07,160
But...You don't have anything.
283
00:12:07,194 --> 00:12:10,497
Okay, so, who do
I try it out on, you?
284
00:12:12,432 --> 00:12:13,767
LARRY: No.
285
00:12:13,801 --> 00:12:15,435
Come on, you owe me, and...
286
00:12:15,468 --> 00:12:16,870
I know you like her.
287
00:12:16,904 --> 00:12:18,405
She hasn't done
anything to us.
288
00:12:18,438 --> 00:12:20,774
She's been teasing and
taunting us all semester.
289
00:12:20,808 --> 00:12:24,044
Just point and give her one
little test command.
290
00:12:24,077 --> 00:12:27,280
Like what? Like, "Bend over?"
291
00:12:27,314 --> 00:12:29,216
Think bigger.
292
00:12:29,249 --> 00:12:31,318
Striptease?
293
00:12:31,351 --> 00:12:34,287
I don't know about you,
but I would love to see her...
294
00:12:34,321 --> 00:12:36,389
[INAUDIBLE WHISPERS]
295
00:12:36,423 --> 00:12:38,391
I'm pretty sure that's
illegal.
296
00:12:38,425 --> 00:12:41,194
Only if someone is watching.
297
00:12:41,228 --> 00:12:42,429
Isn't that what we'll be
doing?
298
00:12:42,462 --> 00:12:44,197
And it will be so great!
299
00:12:44,231 --> 00:12:45,498
No.
300
00:12:45,532 --> 00:12:47,000
No, absolutely not.
301
00:12:47,034 --> 00:12:48,568
Yes.
302
00:12:48,601 --> 00:12:50,437
No! It's not even going
to work!
303
00:12:50,470 --> 00:12:52,973
So then thinking about it
won't do any harm!
304
00:12:56,209 --> 00:12:59,279
[MAGICAL DRONE]
305
00:12:59,312 --> 00:13:00,948
BUCK: Is she?
306
00:13:00,981 --> 00:13:02,249
LARRY: No way...
307
00:13:02,282 --> 00:13:04,117
Maybe she is.
308
00:13:04,151 --> 00:13:06,186
Come on. I gotta see.
309
00:13:13,193 --> 00:13:15,128
[SIGHS]
I mean, it kind of worked.
310
00:13:15,162 --> 00:13:17,530
She is playing with herself,
technically.
311
00:13:17,564 --> 00:13:20,233
Very disappointing, okay?
312
00:13:20,267 --> 00:13:21,568
Be more specific this time.
313
00:13:21,601 --> 00:13:24,571
No! No, we're done. These hands
are dangerous weapons.
314
00:13:24,604 --> 00:13:27,274
-I don't want to hurt somebody!
-But just this one time...?
315
00:13:27,307 --> 00:13:28,842
No, everybody just needs
to calm down!
316
00:13:28,876 --> 00:13:29,977
[MAGICAL DRONE]
317
00:13:30,543 --> 00:13:32,846
[YAWNS]
So tired!
318
00:13:32,880 --> 00:13:34,948
[YAWN]
Me, too.
319
00:13:35,415 --> 00:13:37,517
No, you're right.
320
00:13:37,550 --> 00:13:40,888
I'm...I'm sorry.
321
00:13:50,964 --> 00:13:53,066
Oh my God. What did I do?
322
00:13:53,100 --> 00:13:54,834
Damn these hands!
323
00:13:55,402 --> 00:13:56,937
Hey, kid.
324
00:13:56,970 --> 00:14:00,373
Do you know a "Candy"?
I'm supposed to meet her here.
325
00:14:00,407 --> 00:14:03,210
Uhhh...
I think she's... resting.
326
00:14:03,243 --> 00:14:06,146
NICK'S VOICE: She's going
to need a rest when I get
done with her.
327
00:14:07,447 --> 00:14:09,349
That is disgusting.
328
00:14:09,382 --> 00:14:12,085
What?
I didn't say anything.
329
00:14:12,119 --> 00:14:13,620
Yeah, but you thought it.
330
00:14:13,653 --> 00:14:15,088
I think you need to cool down.
331
00:14:15,122 --> 00:14:17,024
-[MAGICAL CHIME]
-[WIND BLOWING]
332
00:14:17,057 --> 00:14:19,159
Okay.
333
00:14:22,963 --> 00:14:25,065
[SPLASHING SOUND]
334
00:14:27,567 --> 00:14:28,902
[WHISPERING] Rogers!
335
00:14:28,936 --> 00:14:30,470
Miss Rogers!
336
00:14:31,504 --> 00:14:33,373
How do I conjure up the dead?
337
00:14:33,406 --> 00:14:34,975
Oh, don't do that.
338
00:14:35,008 --> 00:14:38,411
Trust me, zombies make
everything extremely messy.
339
00:14:38,445 --> 00:14:41,614
First one shows up, then they
start multiplying like rabbits.
340
00:14:41,648 --> 00:14:44,151
And don't even get me started
with the smell.
341
00:14:44,184 --> 00:14:47,921
Am I dreaming? Awake?
What is going on?
342
00:14:47,955 --> 00:14:50,023
Your power's getting stronger.
343
00:14:50,057 --> 00:14:51,391
You just have to calm down,
344
00:14:51,424 --> 00:14:53,093
and then you'll be able
to control it.
345
00:14:53,126 --> 00:14:55,495
Okay. Okay,
that's good, right?
346
00:14:55,528 --> 00:14:57,097
Yes and no.
347
00:14:57,130 --> 00:14:59,032
What does that mean?
348
00:14:59,066 --> 00:15:01,534
With every positive
comes a negative.
349
00:15:01,568 --> 00:15:03,103
What's the negative?
350
00:15:03,136 --> 00:15:04,437
Kevin.
351
00:15:04,471 --> 00:15:07,474
-Who?
-He's a demon.
352
00:15:07,507 --> 00:15:10,143
A demon?
Named Kevin?
353
00:15:10,177 --> 00:15:13,180
Well, all the cool names were
taken. He's not happy about it.
354
00:15:13,213 --> 00:15:15,282
Maybe that's why he's
so hellbent
355
00:15:15,315 --> 00:15:17,117
on taking over the world.
356
00:15:18,451 --> 00:15:22,322
Wait, destroying the world?
He can do that?
357
00:15:22,355 --> 00:15:23,590
Well, he can try.
358
00:15:23,623 --> 00:15:24,992
But you've got to stop him.
359
00:15:25,025 --> 00:15:27,394
Why didn't you stop him?
360
00:15:27,427 --> 00:15:30,230
Tried. Died.
Happens in battle.
361
00:15:30,263 --> 00:15:32,565
This Kevin demon guy
is the one that killed you?
362
00:15:32,599 --> 00:15:35,502
Mmh hmm.
Now he's coming after you.
363
00:15:35,535 --> 00:15:37,604
Why? Why me?
364
00:15:37,637 --> 00:15:39,439
Because you're the gatekeeper.
365
00:15:39,472 --> 00:15:42,109
You have to stop demons
from taking over the world.
366
00:15:42,142 --> 00:15:43,643
It's part
of the job description.
367
00:15:43,676 --> 00:15:45,578
Don't you watch television?
368
00:15:45,612 --> 00:15:47,580
There are, like, a hundred
TV shows about this.
369
00:15:47,614 --> 00:15:49,382
He can't find me, right?
370
00:15:49,416 --> 00:15:51,985
Oh, he's on his way right now.
371
00:15:52,019 --> 00:15:53,987
How does he know where I am?
372
00:15:54,021 --> 00:15:55,655
-Did you tell him?
-No.-
373
00:15:55,688 --> 00:15:57,624
Every time you use
your power,
374
00:15:57,657 --> 00:15:59,592
it's like a beacon for demons.
375
00:15:59,626 --> 00:16:00,727
The more powerful you become,
376
00:16:00,760 --> 00:16:03,630
the stronger the signal is.
377
00:16:03,663 --> 00:16:06,333
What does he want from me?
378
00:16:06,366 --> 00:16:09,402
To kill you, of course,
and take your power.
379
00:16:09,436 --> 00:16:12,272
[FRUSTRATED SIGH]
What's the name of that movie,
380
00:16:12,305 --> 00:16:13,606
you know, "There can only be
one!"
381
00:16:13,640 --> 00:16:15,075
It was a TV series, too.
382
00:16:15,108 --> 00:16:16,509
I don't watch television.
383
00:16:16,543 --> 00:16:18,445
Oh, really? God, you are even
more
384
00:16:18,478 --> 00:16:20,147
clueless than I thought.
385
00:16:20,180 --> 00:16:22,649
Why didn't you tell me about
this in the first place?
386
00:16:22,682 --> 00:16:25,385
Oh, it's your birthday.
Didn't want to ruin it.
387
00:16:25,418 --> 00:16:26,453
Kind of a downer.
388
00:16:26,486 --> 00:16:28,755
Demon coming to kill you...
389
00:16:28,788 --> 00:16:30,623
This totally sucks.
390
00:16:30,657 --> 00:16:32,392
Oh yeah.
Demons suck.
391
00:16:32,425 --> 00:16:34,661
And they also bite really
hard, and they scratch.
392
00:16:36,096 --> 00:16:38,465
You should see my dead body.
Not pretty.
393
00:16:38,498 --> 00:16:40,300
Can I run?
394
00:16:40,333 --> 00:16:42,069
Well, while you still have
two working legs,
395
00:16:42,102 --> 00:16:46,039
but it's not going to help.
Kevin will find you.
396
00:16:46,073 --> 00:16:47,440
You know, it is almost
impossible to
397
00:16:47,474 --> 00:16:50,043
make the name "Kevin" sound
ominous.
398
00:16:50,077 --> 00:16:51,778
[PUTTING ON A HUSKY VOICE]
"Kevin is coming."
399
00:16:51,811 --> 00:16:54,247
"The night Kevin came home..."
400
00:16:54,281 --> 00:16:57,484
"One, two, Kevin's coming
for you."
401
00:16:57,517 --> 00:16:58,785
Nah. Doesn't work.
402
00:16:58,818 --> 00:17:01,688
What does this Kevin demon
look like?
403
00:17:01,721 --> 00:17:04,157
Well, yeah, that's kind of the
tricky part.
404
00:17:04,191 --> 00:17:05,792
This guy's a shape-shifter.
405
00:17:05,825 --> 00:17:07,594
Which means?
406
00:17:07,627 --> 00:17:08,795
He can shift his shape.
407
00:17:08,828 --> 00:17:11,764
Transform.
Become whatever he wants.
408
00:17:11,798 --> 00:17:13,800
When will he get here?
409
00:17:13,833 --> 00:17:16,303
Well, he is already here.
410
00:17:16,336 --> 00:17:17,504
[LOUD KNOCKING]
411
00:17:17,537 --> 00:17:20,373
[DOORBELL]
412
00:17:20,407 --> 00:17:21,674
Is that him?
413
00:17:21,708 --> 00:17:22,775
I don't know.
414
00:17:22,809 --> 00:17:24,511
I was a witch, not a psychic.
415
00:17:24,544 --> 00:17:26,113
What do I do?
416
00:17:29,816 --> 00:17:31,684
[MORE KNOCKING]
417
00:17:31,718 --> 00:17:33,120
[DOORBELL]
418
00:17:33,153 --> 00:17:35,155
[KNOCKING]
419
00:17:37,390 --> 00:17:39,659
[KNOCKING]
420
00:17:39,692 --> 00:17:42,662
-Who is it?
-Headmaster Hellion.
421
00:17:42,695 --> 00:17:45,198
[DOOR UNLATCHING, SQUEAKING]
422
00:17:45,232 --> 00:17:46,699
Ah, Pothead.
423
00:17:46,733 --> 00:17:49,402
You seen my niece?
I don't trust that girl.
424
00:17:49,436 --> 00:17:50,537
[DOOR CLICKS SHUT]
425
00:17:50,570 --> 00:17:53,240
I think I saw her jumping rope
earlier.
426
00:17:53,273 --> 00:17:54,641
Jumping rope?
427
00:17:54,674 --> 00:17:55,842
That doesn't sound like her.
428
00:17:55,875 --> 00:17:57,577
More like jumping someone's
bones.
429
00:17:57,610 --> 00:17:59,479
Where are the other guys?
430
00:17:59,512 --> 00:18:01,214
Ummm... Not sure.
431
00:18:03,183 --> 00:18:05,185
They're probably having
an orgy as we speak.
432
00:18:06,386 --> 00:18:08,421
You got kids, Pothead?
433
00:18:08,455 --> 00:18:10,357
No sir. I'm 18.
434
00:18:10,390 --> 00:18:12,859
Good. Neither do I.
Never wanted 'em.
435
00:18:12,892 --> 00:18:14,727
They just bring about
a whole lot of...
436
00:18:14,761 --> 00:18:17,130
aggravation, if you ask me.
437
00:18:18,165 --> 00:18:20,533
Then why do you run
a high school?
438
00:18:21,868 --> 00:18:24,171
Things don't always go as
planned.
439
00:18:24,204 --> 00:18:25,372
Yeah, tell me about it.
440
00:18:25,405 --> 00:18:27,340
[MAGICAL SOUND]
441
00:18:27,374 --> 00:18:29,442
Well, it all started
when I was a boy.
442
00:18:29,476 --> 00:18:31,444
Saw an ad for a movie called
School of Discipline.
443
00:18:31,478 --> 00:18:34,414
And I thought, well that
sounded like a good idea.
444
00:18:34,447 --> 00:18:36,483
My parents taught me
discipline.
445
00:18:36,516 --> 00:18:38,285
And I came from a strict
upbringing.
446
00:18:38,318 --> 00:18:40,287
And I thought, what goes
around comes around.
447
00:18:40,320 --> 00:18:41,588
And if I could instill those
values-
448
00:18:41,621 --> 00:18:42,855
That's fascinating,
Mr. Hellion.
449
00:18:42,889 --> 00:18:45,458
But don't you need
to go find Candice?
450
00:18:45,492 --> 00:18:47,760
You know, that girl is nothing
but trouble.
451
00:18:47,794 --> 00:18:50,797
Young men like you,
you can be taught, improved...
452
00:18:50,830 --> 00:18:52,699
But the same can't be said
for the opposite sex.
453
00:18:52,732 --> 00:18:54,501
They're not to be trusted,
Pothead.
454
00:18:54,534 --> 00:18:58,238
They're, uh...mischievous,
devious creatures.
455
00:18:58,271 --> 00:18:59,772
Illogical.
456
00:18:59,806 --> 00:19:01,374
And they don't
listen to authority.
457
00:19:02,375 --> 00:19:04,511
First there was Lilith.
458
00:19:04,544 --> 00:19:05,812
And then there was Eve.
459
00:19:05,845 --> 00:19:08,215
God's one big mistake.
460
00:19:08,248 --> 00:19:10,950
Yeah, but, can't have can't
have children without women,
right?
461
00:19:10,983 --> 00:19:12,519
Exactly.
462
00:19:12,552 --> 00:19:14,654
No women, no children. That'd
be the perfect world.
463
00:19:15,422 --> 00:19:16,723
Well, look...
464
00:19:16,756 --> 00:19:18,525
If you see my niece,
tell her I'm looking for her.
465
00:19:18,558 --> 00:19:20,660
And if she's
with that guy Nick,
466
00:19:20,693 --> 00:19:21,928
There's going to be
hell to pay.
467
00:19:21,961 --> 00:19:23,330
[MUMBLING]
Yeah, you're right about that.
468
00:19:23,363 --> 00:19:24,497
What?
469
00:19:24,531 --> 00:19:27,500
I said, "Will do!"
Thanks for stopping by.
470
00:19:27,534 --> 00:19:28,668
[DOOR UNLATCHING]
471
00:19:28,701 --> 00:19:30,670
-[CLEARS THROAT]
-[DOOR CLICKS SHUT]
472
00:19:30,703 --> 00:19:32,505
-[SIGHS]
-Hey!
473
00:19:34,541 --> 00:19:37,477
How'd you get in here?
474
00:19:37,510 --> 00:19:39,379
Back door was open.
475
00:19:39,412 --> 00:19:41,214
I was wondering if you or some
of the other guys
476
00:19:41,248 --> 00:19:43,316
had a change of clothes
I could borrow.
477
00:19:43,350 --> 00:19:46,253
I accidentally walked
into the pool.
478
00:19:46,286 --> 00:19:48,421
I don't really know why I did
that.
479
00:19:48,455 --> 00:19:49,656
Yeah. Just...
480
00:19:49,689 --> 00:19:51,791
Stay...there, just,
481
00:19:51,824 --> 00:19:53,260
stay right there.
482
00:19:53,293 --> 00:19:54,794
Thanks.
483
00:20:00,467 --> 00:20:01,768
[MURMURING]
484
00:20:03,403 --> 00:20:05,605
LARRY: I wish I had
a body like that.
485
00:20:06,038 --> 00:20:08,207
[BIRDS CHIRPING]
486
00:20:15,348 --> 00:20:17,550
Holy crap.
487
00:20:17,584 --> 00:20:19,452
I look...
488
00:20:19,486 --> 00:20:21,288
I look good!
489
00:20:23,456 --> 00:20:25,658
[ELASTIC SNAPPING]
Not bad.
490
00:20:26,559 --> 00:20:29,396
-Not bad at all.
-Candice!
491
00:20:29,429 --> 00:20:30,697
When did you wake up?
492
00:20:30,730 --> 00:20:32,332
I mean...
493
00:20:32,365 --> 00:20:33,600
What are you doing here?
494
00:20:35,402 --> 00:20:37,270
-Waiting for you.
-In my...?
495
00:20:37,304 --> 00:20:39,739
I mean...
In Larry's room?
496
00:20:39,772 --> 00:20:41,341
I don't know
who's room this is.
497
00:20:41,374 --> 00:20:43,676
I'm just hiding somewhere
my uncle couldn't find me.
498
00:20:43,710 --> 00:20:46,546
You didn't get my text to meet
me here?
499
00:20:46,579 --> 00:20:49,816
Uh... Yeah, but your uncle was
just here looking for you.
500
00:20:49,849 --> 00:20:51,284
Well...
501
00:20:51,318 --> 00:20:53,620
He's not here now.
502
00:20:53,653 --> 00:20:55,622
We're all alone.
503
00:20:55,655 --> 00:20:58,691
Not really, your boyfriend's
right downstairs!
504
00:20:58,725 --> 00:21:01,728
What are you talking about?
You are my boyfriend.
505
00:21:01,761 --> 00:21:03,630
You think I'm seeing
someone else?
506
00:21:03,663 --> 00:21:04,797
[SIGHS]
507
00:21:04,831 --> 00:21:07,400
[MUMBLING] I know you're
seeing someone else.
508
00:21:07,434 --> 00:21:09,502
How can you accuse
me of something like that?
509
00:21:09,536 --> 00:21:11,604
-That's not what I meant.
-Nick!
510
00:21:11,638 --> 00:21:13,773
I would never cheat on you.
511
00:21:13,806 --> 00:21:16,876
Do you...
want me to prove it to you?
512
00:21:16,909 --> 00:21:19,979
You...don't have to do that,
Candice.
513
00:21:20,012 --> 00:21:21,314
I know, but...
514
00:21:21,348 --> 00:21:22,682
I want to.
515
00:21:22,715 --> 00:21:23,883
I'm ready.
516
00:21:23,916 --> 00:21:26,786
Well, if you want to.
517
00:21:26,819 --> 00:21:30,690
Wait! Stop.
518
00:21:30,723 --> 00:21:31,758
[POWERFUL WHOOSHING SOUND]
519
00:21:31,791 --> 00:21:33,292
I'm not Nick.
520
00:21:34,794 --> 00:21:36,896
[DEMONIC VOICE]
And I'm not Candice.
521
00:21:36,929 --> 00:21:39,566
[STRANGE, DEEP DRONING SOUND]
522
00:21:39,599 --> 00:21:41,033
So, you're the chosen one.
523
00:21:41,067 --> 00:21:42,469
And you're gay.
524
00:21:42,502 --> 00:21:43,670
No.
525
00:21:43,703 --> 00:21:45,505
Why would you think that?
526
00:21:45,538 --> 00:21:48,441
What kind of guy tries to stop
a beautiful girl
527
00:21:48,475 --> 00:21:50,777
from taking off her clothes
in his bedroom?
528
00:21:50,810 --> 00:21:53,346
I thought she thought I was
her boyfriend.
529
00:21:53,380 --> 00:21:55,515
That's what nice guys do.
530
00:21:55,548 --> 00:21:58,050
You know what else
nice guys do?
531
00:21:59,051 --> 00:22:00,653
They finish last.
532
00:22:02,121 --> 00:22:04,891
Hey. Did you guys find
a shirt for me yet?
533
00:22:06,726 --> 00:22:08,094
Guess not.
534
00:22:09,962 --> 00:22:11,498
Definitely gay.
535
00:22:13,466 --> 00:22:14,801
[DEMONIC VOICE]
Your power is mine!
536
00:22:14,834 --> 00:22:15,935
[THUNDEROUS WHOOSH]
537
00:22:16,969 --> 00:22:18,938
Rogers! Rogers!
538
00:22:18,971 --> 00:22:20,907
Rogers!
How do you kill a demon?
539
00:22:20,940 --> 00:22:22,775
Well, you know, I wasn't
very good at it,
540
00:22:22,809 --> 00:22:25,645
but I'm pretty sure running away
won't accomplish that goal.
541
00:22:25,678 --> 00:22:26,913
Well, beats dying.
542
00:22:38,691 --> 00:22:39,692
[SHOES SQUEAKING ON FLOOR]
543
00:22:40,660 --> 00:22:41,728
Where did you come from?
544
00:22:41,761 --> 00:22:42,995
Where did you come from?!
545
00:22:43,029 --> 00:22:44,130
Where have you been?
546
00:22:44,163 --> 00:22:45,665
I was taking a nap.
547
00:22:45,698 --> 00:22:47,567
I got so tired all of a sudden.
548
00:22:48,635 --> 00:22:50,603
After you told me to relax...
549
00:22:50,637 --> 00:22:52,138
Hey, did you whammy me?
550
00:22:52,171 --> 00:22:53,806
Not on purpose.
551
00:22:53,840 --> 00:22:56,543
-Buck, I have a serious problem.
-Let me guess...
552
00:22:56,576 --> 00:22:58,811
A demon named Kevin is trying
to kill you?
553
00:23:00,146 --> 00:23:01,681
Actually yes.
554
00:23:01,714 --> 00:23:04,116
How...How did you know that?
555
00:23:04,150 --> 00:23:05,418
[MAGICAL WHIR]
556
00:23:05,452 --> 00:23:07,119
Surprise!
557
00:23:12,825 --> 00:23:14,794
TANK: Whoa! Just the guy
we were looking for.
558
00:23:14,827 --> 00:23:16,696
What did I even do
to you guys?
559
00:23:16,729 --> 00:23:17,964
Somehow you hit
us in the nuts
560
00:23:17,997 --> 00:23:19,566
while we weren't
looking.
561
00:23:20,667 --> 00:23:21,901
I didn't do anything!
562
00:23:21,934 --> 00:23:24,471
I suppose we just hit
ourselves, then.
563
00:23:24,504 --> 00:23:25,605
You know what, sounds good to
me.
564
00:23:25,638 --> 00:23:27,474
[SUPERNATURAL WAVE SOUND]
565
00:23:27,507 --> 00:23:29,476
Why would we...?
566
00:23:29,509 --> 00:23:30,810
[PUNCH]
567
00:23:30,843 --> 00:23:33,012
What you hitting yourself for?
568
00:23:33,045 --> 00:23:34,113
-[STRANGE DRONE]
-Uh...?
569
00:23:34,146 --> 00:23:35,181
-[IMPACT]
-[GROAN]
570
00:23:35,214 --> 00:23:37,884
-What are you hitting
yourself for?
-[PUNCH]
571
00:23:37,917 --> 00:23:39,452
I don't know!
572
00:23:39,486 --> 00:23:40,587
I can't stop!
573
00:23:40,620 --> 00:23:41,821
Me neither!
574
00:23:42,955 --> 00:23:44,691
-[IMPACT]
-[GROAN]
575
00:23:47,093 --> 00:23:50,530
[PUNCHES AND STRUGGLING SOUNDS
CONTINUE]
576
00:23:53,700 --> 00:23:56,035
Where did you disappear to?
577
00:23:56,068 --> 00:23:57,637
Buck, is that you?
578
00:23:57,670 --> 00:23:59,539
Is that really, really you?
579
00:23:59,572 --> 00:24:02,542
As opposed to...?
580
00:24:02,575 --> 00:24:04,711
A shape-shifting demon taking
your form?
581
00:24:04,744 --> 00:24:07,213
-Those things exist?
-Yeah.
582
00:24:07,246 --> 00:24:08,815
And one's here to kill me and
take my powers
583
00:24:08,848 --> 00:24:09,982
to destroy the world.
584
00:24:10,983 --> 00:24:12,485
Bummer.
585
00:24:13,520 --> 00:24:15,922
Bummer? That's...
586
00:24:15,955 --> 00:24:17,757
That's your response
to all that?
587
00:24:17,790 --> 00:24:18,891
You know I'm still
trying to come
588
00:24:18,925 --> 00:24:21,728
to new terms with your
magical powers.
589
00:24:21,761 --> 00:24:23,730
Going from that to demons
ending the world
590
00:24:23,763 --> 00:24:25,632
is a lot to take in, you know?
591
00:24:25,665 --> 00:24:27,767
Maybe we could confuse it.
592
00:24:27,800 --> 00:24:28,901
How?
593
00:24:28,935 --> 00:24:31,938
By turning you into me,
and me into you.
594
00:24:31,971 --> 00:24:33,005
But then, if he thinks I'm
you,
595
00:24:33,039 --> 00:24:35,041
he's just going to kill me.
596
00:24:35,074 --> 00:24:37,109
Right, but...you don't have
to worry about that.
597
00:24:37,143 --> 00:24:39,178
-Why?
-'Cause I'll be here.
598
00:24:39,211 --> 00:24:41,147
As me?
599
00:24:41,180 --> 00:24:42,615
Right. As you.
600
00:24:42,649 --> 00:24:44,551
And you'll stop him before he
kills you...
601
00:24:44,584 --> 00:24:46,953
Er, I mean, me?
602
00:24:46,986 --> 00:24:48,688
I mean...
603
00:24:48,721 --> 00:24:50,056
Yeah, that's the idea.
604
00:24:52,659 --> 00:24:54,594
Are you trying to confuse the
demon, or us?
605
00:24:54,627 --> 00:24:56,629
Buck, it's very simple.
606
00:24:56,663 --> 00:24:57,764
A child could understand this.
607
00:24:57,797 --> 00:25:00,767
Oh, good. Find a child.
Maybe he could explain it to me.
608
00:25:00,800 --> 00:25:02,835
You're me, I'm you.
609
00:25:02,869 --> 00:25:05,672
-Get it?
-But what if he just decides
to kill both of us?
610
00:25:07,273 --> 00:25:08,708
I mean...
611
00:25:08,741 --> 00:25:10,610
Way to be positive.
612
00:25:10,643 --> 00:25:12,044
Hey, what are you guys up to?
613
00:25:12,078 --> 00:25:13,279
Candice.
614
00:25:13,312 --> 00:25:15,181
Hold it.
That might not be her.
615
00:25:15,214 --> 00:25:16,716
What, are you blind?
616
00:25:16,749 --> 00:25:18,217
Of course that's her.
617
00:25:18,250 --> 00:25:20,587
LARRY: It may be a demon
in disguise.
618
00:25:20,620 --> 00:25:22,889
That's a hell of a disguise.
619
00:25:22,922 --> 00:25:24,557
Have you guys seen Nick?
620
00:25:24,591 --> 00:25:26,292
I was supposed to meet
him here but,
621
00:25:26,325 --> 00:25:29,796
for some reason I started
jumping rope and fell asleep.
622
00:25:29,829 --> 00:25:31,764
That's very unlike me.
623
00:25:31,798 --> 00:25:33,299
LARRY: Yeah, I've heard
that one before.
624
00:25:33,332 --> 00:25:36,002
Just...don't come
any closer...
625
00:25:36,035 --> 00:25:38,137
...Or else...
626
00:25:38,170 --> 00:25:39,872
You'll be sorry.
627
00:25:39,906 --> 00:25:42,108
Yeah, he can make you play
with yourself again.
628
00:25:42,141 --> 00:25:43,810
He can what?
629
00:25:43,843 --> 00:25:46,212
Why don't you just read
her mind to see
if it's really her?
630
00:25:46,245 --> 00:25:47,279
Good idea.
631
00:25:49,916 --> 00:25:51,217
CANDICE:
What are you guys doing?
632
00:25:51,250 --> 00:25:53,720
LARRY: I'm not picking up
any brainwave activity.
633
00:25:53,753 --> 00:25:55,688
Then it's probably her.
634
00:25:56,322 --> 00:25:57,924
You guys are weird.
635
00:25:57,957 --> 00:25:58,991
Wait, don't go.
636
00:25:59,025 --> 00:26:00,226
[MAGICAL CHIME]
637
00:26:00,259 --> 00:26:02,061
What is this?
Why can't I move?
638
00:26:03,029 --> 00:26:04,631
Turn around.
639
00:26:05,832 --> 00:26:07,734
How are you making me do this?
640
00:26:07,767 --> 00:26:09,936
You're getting
the hang of this.
641
00:26:09,969 --> 00:26:12,104
I'm sorry, we can't have
you wandering around out here.
642
00:26:12,138 --> 00:26:14,841
It's too dangerous.
Just... let me explain.
643
00:26:14,874 --> 00:26:16,776
-Explain.
-Okay, come.
644
00:26:17,744 --> 00:26:19,111
[BREATHING HEAVILY]
645
00:26:19,145 --> 00:26:21,848
[PANTING]
646
00:26:21,881 --> 00:26:23,916
...over to me!
As in walk over to me.
647
00:26:23,950 --> 00:26:25,184
That's what I meant to say.
648
00:26:25,217 --> 00:26:26,719
I'm sorry.
649
00:26:38,731 --> 00:26:41,367
Feeling a little
horny, are we?
650
00:26:41,400 --> 00:26:42,735
You're dead.
651
00:26:42,769 --> 00:26:44,303
I killed you.
652
00:26:44,336 --> 00:26:45,805
Ah, you got lucky.
653
00:26:45,838 --> 00:26:47,339
You were no match for me!
654
00:26:47,373 --> 00:26:49,175
[CHUCKLE]
That's right, because nobody
655
00:26:49,208 --> 00:26:51,944
can kill the big bad Kevin
demon.
656
00:26:51,978 --> 00:26:53,880
I told you not
to call me that.
657
00:26:53,913 --> 00:26:56,048
My name is
Gozer The Destroyer.
658
00:26:56,082 --> 00:26:58,217
[LAUGHING]
That name's already taken.
659
00:26:58,250 --> 00:26:59,418
I don't care!
660
00:26:59,451 --> 00:27:01,721
It's a cool sounding name,
and I want it.
661
00:27:01,754 --> 00:27:02,922
You can change your name,
662
00:27:02,955 --> 00:27:04,824
but you're not going to change
who you are.
663
00:27:04,857 --> 00:27:06,859
I am an all-power demon,
664
00:27:06,893 --> 00:27:08,728
about to take over the world.
665
00:27:08,761 --> 00:27:09,996
Named Kevin.
666
00:27:10,029 --> 00:27:12,164
[MAGICAL SOUND]
667
00:27:12,198 --> 00:27:15,367
ROGERS: Can't kill
someone who's already dead!
668
00:27:15,401 --> 00:27:18,270
After I take that pathetic
teen warlock's power,
669
00:27:18,304 --> 00:27:21,340
I will figure out a way to
kill you for all eternity.
670
00:27:22,775 --> 00:27:24,744
You know, I would feel a lot
safer
671
00:27:24,777 --> 00:27:26,145
if we had a silver bullet,
672
00:27:26,178 --> 00:27:28,981
holy water, garlic, and a cross.
673
00:27:29,015 --> 00:27:30,850
Isn't that stuff for fighting
vampires?
674
00:27:30,883 --> 00:27:33,052
At this point, I'm not picky.
675
00:27:33,085 --> 00:27:35,788
KEVIN: Waiting for someone?
676
00:27:35,822 --> 00:27:38,190
Where's your little warlock
friend?
677
00:27:38,224 --> 00:27:40,126
Hiding, I bet.
678
00:27:40,159 --> 00:27:43,295
Looks like someone's horny.
679
00:27:43,329 --> 00:27:45,865
I was referring to the demon.
680
00:27:45,898 --> 00:27:48,334
You're the girl he likes.
681
00:27:48,367 --> 00:27:49,936
It was fun pretending
to be you.
682
00:27:49,969 --> 00:27:51,871
I heard you were me, too.
683
00:27:51,904 --> 00:27:54,140
Yeah. That wasn't so fun.
684
00:27:54,173 --> 00:27:55,875
Warlock!
685
00:27:55,908 --> 00:27:57,409
Come on out, or I'll kill your
friends.
686
00:28:00,346 --> 00:28:02,414
[BLASTING SOUND]
687
00:28:07,486 --> 00:28:09,455
The games are over.
688
00:28:09,488 --> 00:28:12,959
Show yourself, or they die!
689
00:28:12,992 --> 00:28:15,828
Hey. That's my girlfriend!
Let her go.
690
00:28:15,862 --> 00:28:18,064
Nick, stay out of this.
691
00:28:18,097 --> 00:28:20,032
You get around, don't you?
692
00:28:20,066 --> 00:28:23,035
I'm warning you, I will bash
your face in!
693
00:28:24,003 --> 00:28:25,337
-[BLAST]
-[IMPACT]
694
00:28:30,009 --> 00:28:31,944
Unless you want everyone
in this house to die,
695
00:28:31,978 --> 00:28:34,413
Then I suggest you show
yourself right now!
696
00:28:37,216 --> 00:28:38,450
[GASPING FOR BREATH]
697
00:28:38,484 --> 00:28:40,219
Just as I thought.
698
00:28:40,252 --> 00:28:42,421
[COUGHING]
699
00:28:49,295 --> 00:28:51,497
That can't be.
700
00:28:51,530 --> 00:28:53,465
If you're her, then...
701
00:28:53,499 --> 00:28:55,501
LARRY'S VOICE:
Then she's me.
702
00:28:57,169 --> 00:28:58,170
[MAGICAL EXPLOSION]
703
00:29:01,908 --> 00:29:04,276
[CRACKLING ELECTRICITY]
704
00:29:07,446 --> 00:29:09,248
[INCREASING WHOOSHING SOUNDS]
705
00:29:09,281 --> 00:29:11,117
[ECHOING BLAST]
706
00:29:14,120 --> 00:29:17,123
Now banish that bastard back
to the underworld.
707
00:29:17,156 --> 00:29:18,490
How do I do that?
708
00:29:18,524 --> 00:29:21,493
The international language
for "Go to hell."
709
00:29:23,362 --> 00:29:25,297
-[ABSTRACT STATIC]
-[SWISH]
710
00:29:25,331 --> 00:29:26,498
Nooooooooo!
711
00:29:26,532 --> 00:29:29,401
-[EXPLOSIVE SHATTERING]
-[ECHOING THUNDER]
712
00:29:29,435 --> 00:29:31,237
You did good, kid.
713
00:29:31,270 --> 00:29:33,840
Now be careful, that's a lot
of power you have.
714
00:29:33,873 --> 00:29:36,843
-Use it wisely.
-How?
715
00:29:36,876 --> 00:29:38,344
Well, you'll figure it out.
716
00:29:38,377 --> 00:29:41,047
I'd start by getting laid,
but that's just me.
717
00:29:41,080 --> 00:29:42,414
See you in about
a hundred years.
718
00:29:42,448 --> 00:29:44,083
[CLACKING TEETH]
719
00:29:47,519 --> 00:29:48,955
Is it over?
720
00:29:48,988 --> 00:29:50,823
I think so.
721
00:29:50,857 --> 00:29:52,258
BUCK: It worked!
722
00:29:52,291 --> 00:29:53,826
Told you so.
723
00:29:53,860 --> 00:29:55,995
I never doubted it for a minute.
724
00:29:56,028 --> 00:29:58,130
You know I can still read
your mind, right?
725
00:29:58,164 --> 00:29:59,798
I withdraw the statement.
726
00:30:02,101 --> 00:30:03,335
So...
727
00:30:03,369 --> 00:30:04,871
now that I saved your life
and all,
728
00:30:04,904 --> 00:30:06,438
I was wondering
if maybe, I could...
729
00:30:06,472 --> 00:30:08,474
get your number...
or we could go on a date...
730
00:30:08,507 --> 00:30:11,177
-Nick! Are you okay, baby?
-Okay.
731
00:30:11,210 --> 00:30:12,344
Never mind.
732
00:30:16,916 --> 00:30:18,517
I'm so confused...
733
00:30:18,550 --> 00:30:20,987
I just came down here
to get a shirt.
734
00:30:21,020 --> 00:30:22,488
You never need to wear a shirt.
735
00:30:22,521 --> 00:30:24,423
You're perfect as is.
736
00:30:24,456 --> 00:30:25,524
NICK: Thanks.
737
00:30:31,230 --> 00:30:32,899
Saved my life?
738
00:30:32,932 --> 00:30:34,366
It was because of you I was
in danger
739
00:30:34,400 --> 00:30:37,069
in the first place, creep!
740
00:30:37,103 --> 00:30:38,570
[GROANS] I think I need
to lie down.
741
00:30:38,604 --> 00:30:40,272
I'll join you.
742
00:30:47,179 --> 00:30:49,015
Great.
743
00:30:49,048 --> 00:30:51,017
They're probably going
to use my room.
744
00:30:51,050 --> 00:30:52,251
Perfect.
745
00:30:52,284 --> 00:30:53,652
Hey, don't sweat it, buddy.
746
00:30:53,685 --> 00:30:55,087
I mean, with powers like yours,
747
00:30:55,121 --> 00:30:56,956
you could have
any girl you want.
748
00:30:56,989 --> 00:30:59,291
I mean, you're
like a superhero, and...
749
00:30:59,325 --> 00:31:00,526
chicks dig superheroes.
750
00:31:00,559 --> 00:31:03,930
-I'm a warlock.
-A teen warlock.
751
00:31:03,963 --> 00:31:06,198
So what, what does that mean?
752
00:31:06,232 --> 00:31:08,400
It means, you're entitled
to have some fun.
753
00:31:08,434 --> 00:31:09,601
Make a few mistakes.
754
00:31:09,635 --> 00:31:12,071
It's spring break, remember?
755
00:31:13,705 --> 00:31:17,209
It's barely sundown and you've
already saved the world.
756
00:31:17,243 --> 00:31:19,045
It's still your birthday.
757
00:31:19,078 --> 00:31:20,980
How about you and me hit up
Fort Lauderdale?
758
00:31:21,013 --> 00:31:22,548
A warlock loose in South Beach?
759
00:31:22,581 --> 00:31:24,183
The possibilities are endless.
760
00:31:25,584 --> 00:31:27,419
Wait, neither of us have a
car, how are we...
761
00:31:27,453 --> 00:31:29,555
...or even any money!
762
00:31:29,588 --> 00:31:31,223
How are we going to get there?
763
00:31:31,257 --> 00:31:32,992
Just concentrate.
764
00:31:33,025 --> 00:31:34,093
Click your heels together
three times
765
00:31:34,126 --> 00:31:36,695
and see what happens.
766
00:31:36,728 --> 00:31:38,064
Alright.
767
00:31:38,097 --> 00:31:40,666
But don't let things get out
of control.
768
00:31:41,467 --> 00:31:43,970
Wouldn't dream of it.
769
00:31:44,003 --> 00:31:45,404
[MAGICAL, SHIMMERING SOUND]
770
00:31:45,437 --> 00:31:46,638
[WHOOSH]
771
00:31:51,477 --> 00:31:53,045
-[EXPLOSION]
-[RECORD SCRATCH]
772
00:31:53,079 --> 00:31:55,681
LARRY: Sorry about that.
My bad.
773
00:32:24,110 --> 00:32:25,711
[WAVES CRASHING]
774
00:32:27,046 --> 00:32:28,680
[BIRDS CHIRPING]
775
00:32:59,245 --> 00:33:00,312
[JET ENGINE]
776
00:33:19,331 --> 00:33:21,500
[TRAFFIC NOISE]
777
00:33:24,170 --> 00:33:26,172
[SEAGULLS CALLING]
778
00:34:06,612 --> 00:34:09,415
[PHONE RINGING]
779
00:34:12,318 --> 00:34:15,654
[MALE VOICE]: Hello,
You've reached the offices
of Lunar Eclipse Studios,
780
00:34:15,687 --> 00:34:18,724
America's premiere source
for cutting edge entertainment.
781
00:34:18,757 --> 00:34:20,626
No one is here right now to
take your call,
782
00:34:20,659 --> 00:34:22,228
so please leave your name,
your number,
783
00:34:22,261 --> 00:34:23,695
the reason you're calling,
784
00:34:23,729 --> 00:34:25,764
and we will get back to you as
soon as possible.
785
00:34:25,797 --> 00:34:27,466
-[ANSWERING MACHINE BEEP]
-[LOUD CRASH]
786
00:34:33,172 --> 00:34:34,673
Hello?
787
00:34:36,142 --> 00:34:37,643
Hello?
788
00:34:38,577 --> 00:34:40,412
Anybody here?
789
00:34:47,753 --> 00:34:49,688
[SIGHING]
790
00:34:49,721 --> 00:34:52,324
Fan-friggin'-tastic.
791
00:34:52,358 --> 00:34:53,692
What, did everybody decide
to go
792
00:34:53,725 --> 00:34:55,727
to lunch at the same time,
or what?
793
00:35:02,634 --> 00:35:04,670
Hello...?
794
00:35:24,590 --> 00:35:26,325
[RUSTLING]
795
00:35:26,358 --> 00:35:27,626
Oh, Morty.
796
00:35:27,659 --> 00:35:31,397
I swear to God,
You are the worst manager
in the whole...
797
00:35:31,963 --> 00:35:33,699
[DIALING]
798
00:35:33,732 --> 00:35:36,702
Ooh...
Look what the cat dragged in.
799
00:35:37,969 --> 00:35:40,572
Alexis Jones.
800
00:35:40,606 --> 00:35:42,241
What, did you set up this
little prank?
801
00:35:42,274 --> 00:35:43,775
What prank?
802
00:35:43,809 --> 00:35:45,177
Oh, getting me to come down
here
803
00:35:45,211 --> 00:35:47,346
to the studio when it's closed.
804
00:35:47,379 --> 00:35:49,281
So you could
gloat or something.
805
00:35:49,315 --> 00:35:53,652
I have better things to do
with my time.
806
00:35:53,685 --> 00:35:55,687
So, this is for real?
807
00:35:55,721 --> 00:35:58,190
I didn't know this was
an open audition.
808
00:35:58,224 --> 00:36:00,192
Oh, I have never had to
audition
809
00:36:00,226 --> 00:36:02,561
for anything in my life.
810
00:36:04,330 --> 00:36:07,233
Oh, calling your agent?
811
00:36:07,266 --> 00:36:09,368
My manager, actually.
812
00:36:09,401 --> 00:36:10,802
Manager, huh?
813
00:36:10,836 --> 00:36:12,604
Ooh, that's fifteen percent!
814
00:36:12,638 --> 00:36:14,573
How's that going?
815
00:36:14,606 --> 00:36:16,875
Well... I'm going to have
to call him and tell him
816
00:36:16,908 --> 00:36:19,678
that the part was obviously
smaller than he thought.
817
00:36:19,711 --> 00:36:21,547
since you're up for it.
818
00:36:21,580 --> 00:36:23,815
Well by all means.
819
00:36:26,618 --> 00:36:29,588
Oh, maybe I'll stick around.
820
00:36:29,621 --> 00:36:31,690
Of course you will.
821
00:36:31,723 --> 00:36:34,326
You know, there's
no shame in losing
822
00:36:34,360 --> 00:36:36,262
a lead role to me.
823
00:36:36,295 --> 00:36:38,330
I'm sure that kind of thing
happens to you
824
00:36:38,364 --> 00:36:40,232
all the time.
825
00:36:40,266 --> 00:36:42,868
I've been in seventy movies.
826
00:36:42,901 --> 00:36:45,537
One hundred and twenty-three
and counting.
827
00:36:45,571 --> 00:36:49,541
[LAUGHS] Oh, well I wasn't
counting YouTube videos.
828
00:36:49,575 --> 00:36:51,943
Oh, and the last time your
name was
829
00:36:51,977 --> 00:36:54,380
above the title was
on a VHS box!
830
00:36:54,413 --> 00:36:55,947
Oh just give it up, Alexis!
831
00:36:55,981 --> 00:36:57,783
I've known Bosley for years,
832
00:36:57,816 --> 00:36:59,618
and he runs this place.
833
00:36:59,651 --> 00:37:02,721
There's no way you're getting
that role over me.
834
00:37:02,754 --> 00:37:04,990
Retract the claws, Miss Kitty!
835
00:37:05,023 --> 00:37:09,261
I just might be
the least of your worries.
836
00:37:12,698 --> 00:37:13,732
Where'd you find that?
837
00:37:13,765 --> 00:37:16,502
It was on the front door.
838
00:37:16,535 --> 00:37:17,836
Where's Bosley?
839
00:37:17,869 --> 00:37:19,438
Is he here?
840
00:37:19,471 --> 00:37:22,441
I don't know. Maybe he's
in the Executive washroom
841
00:37:22,474 --> 00:37:24,810
doing coke.
842
00:37:24,843 --> 00:37:26,545
And I guess Ellen is supposed
to meet
843
00:37:26,578 --> 00:37:28,847
us here, too, huh?
844
00:37:28,880 --> 00:37:31,983
Ahh, she's already
in the screening room.
845
00:37:32,017 --> 00:37:33,319
[SIGH]
846
00:37:33,352 --> 00:37:34,853
Terrific.
847
00:37:38,757 --> 00:37:41,026
[FOOTSTEPS]
848
00:37:44,029 --> 00:37:45,631
Sylvia!
849
00:37:45,664 --> 00:37:47,833
So glad you could finally make
it.
850
00:37:47,866 --> 00:37:50,369
Oh, Ellen.
851
00:37:50,402 --> 00:37:52,471
It's always a pleasure.
852
00:37:52,504 --> 00:37:55,006
Isn't it, though?
853
00:37:55,040 --> 00:37:56,775
I heard you retired.
854
00:37:56,808 --> 00:37:58,710
Why would I retire
at twenty-nine?
855
00:37:59,578 --> 00:38:00,979
[STIFLED LAUGHTER]
856
00:38:01,012 --> 00:38:02,681
Are you for real?
857
00:38:02,714 --> 00:38:04,983
Be nice, Sylvia.
858
00:38:05,016 --> 00:38:09,455
She spent a fortune to look
this pretend-young.
859
00:38:09,488 --> 00:38:11,590
Not as much as you did,
though.
860
00:38:11,623 --> 00:38:13,725
I'm so jealous!
861
00:38:14,993 --> 00:38:17,028
[MAN'S VOICE OVER PA]
Hello, girls.
862
00:38:17,062 --> 00:38:18,997
ALL: Hi, Bosley!
863
00:38:19,030 --> 00:38:21,533
BOSLEY:
Sylvia, Alexis, Ellen,
864
00:38:21,567 --> 00:38:23,502
I really want to thank you
for coming out today.
865
00:38:23,535 --> 00:38:25,003
You're three of the most
well-known
866
00:38:25,036 --> 00:38:26,772
and respected B-movie
actresses
867
00:38:26,805 --> 00:38:28,340
in the world.
868
00:38:28,374 --> 00:38:30,876
I'm a hell of a lucky guy
to have you all in my studio.
869
00:38:30,909 --> 00:38:33,845
Now...On to the reason I asked
you here...
870
00:38:33,879 --> 00:38:35,113
Oh, and about that.
871
00:38:35,146 --> 00:38:37,383
Uh, no one at the studio told
me
872
00:38:37,416 --> 00:38:38,684
that this was going
to be an audition,
873
00:38:38,717 --> 00:38:41,553
and that I would have to be in
the same room with these two...
874
00:38:41,587 --> 00:38:43,489
-But I just-
-BOSLEY: You see,
875
00:38:43,522 --> 00:38:44,723
we just finished
about 70 percent
876
00:38:44,756 --> 00:38:46,958
principal photography
on a new slasher movie.
877
00:38:46,992 --> 00:38:49,695
Are the kids still calling
them "slasher movies"?
878
00:38:49,728 --> 00:38:51,530
Anyway, the director I hired,
879
00:38:51,563 --> 00:38:52,831
a real sweet guy from
Belgium, knows
880
00:38:52,864 --> 00:38:55,133
about three words of English.
881
00:38:55,166 --> 00:38:56,668
considers himself some kind of
882
00:38:56,702 --> 00:38:58,404
modern-day Godard
or something.
883
00:38:58,437 --> 00:38:59,938
He wrote the entire plot of
the movie
884
00:38:59,971 --> 00:39:01,473
down on the back of a post-it,
885
00:39:01,507 --> 00:39:02,808
went out with a camera
886
00:39:02,841 --> 00:39:04,543
and his cast and crew,
887
00:39:04,576 --> 00:39:06,612
and just shot whatever the
hell he felt like.
888
00:39:06,645 --> 00:39:08,847
-Wow.
-Yikes.
889
00:39:08,880 --> 00:39:10,115
BOSLEY: What we got back is
some pretty
890
00:39:10,148 --> 00:39:11,783
intense footage.
891
00:39:11,817 --> 00:39:13,452
The kids are going to go nuts
over it.
892
00:39:13,485 --> 00:39:16,154
The problem is, we had to fire
the guy last week for going
893
00:39:16,187 --> 00:39:17,823
way over budget.
894
00:39:17,856 --> 00:39:19,858
And all we got was this
post-it note to go by.
895
00:39:19,891 --> 00:39:22,428
We don't have an ending,
and it's all pretty-boys.
896
00:39:22,461 --> 00:39:25,864
I want to inject a little
female-perspective
into this thing.
897
00:39:25,897 --> 00:39:27,799
Now, I figure I could just
hire some of my
898
00:39:27,833 --> 00:39:29,668
hack writers to crank out
something for
899
00:39:29,701 --> 00:39:31,503
a quick fifty bucks.
900
00:39:31,537 --> 00:39:33,739
Or... I could try
something unique.
901
00:39:33,772 --> 00:39:36,842
Umm, define "unique."
902
00:39:36,875 --> 00:39:38,644
BOSLEY: The three of you have
more combined
903
00:39:38,677 --> 00:39:42,180
horror movie experience than
Alfred Hitchcock's toilet seat.
904
00:39:42,213 --> 00:39:44,149
Now, I've got a rough assembly
905
00:39:44,182 --> 00:39:47,018
of he movie set up on that
Blu-ray player on the ceiling.
906
00:39:47,052 --> 00:39:48,754
You watch it, and the one of
you who can
907
00:39:48,787 --> 00:39:49,988
come up with the perfect
ending,
908
00:39:50,021 --> 00:39:52,758
I'll cast as the female lead.
909
00:39:52,791 --> 00:39:54,460
All the screen time you want,
910
00:39:54,493 --> 00:39:57,128
Plus, you'll get a co-producer
credit.
911
00:39:57,162 --> 00:39:59,831
I wish I could just hire
all three of you for this...
912
00:39:59,865 --> 00:40:02,601
Uh, but we're not
screenwriters.
913
00:40:02,634 --> 00:40:04,135
I am!
914
00:40:04,169 --> 00:40:06,872
I wrote and starred in the
last Leather Mutant movie,
remember?
915
00:40:06,905 --> 00:40:08,574
Leather Mutant 4.
916
00:40:08,607 --> 00:40:09,841
Uh, like I said,
917
00:40:09,875 --> 00:40:12,143
we're not screenwriters.
918
00:40:12,177 --> 00:40:13,545
BOSLEY: I'm going to just
sit here
919
00:40:13,579 --> 00:40:15,581
and keep my mouth shut.
920
00:40:15,614 --> 00:40:16,648
I'll listen to my iPod or
something.
921
00:40:16,682 --> 00:40:18,850
Pretend I'm not even here.
922
00:40:18,884 --> 00:40:20,486
I want you ladies to give
this thing
923
00:40:20,519 --> 00:40:22,854
your undivided attention.
924
00:40:22,888 --> 00:40:24,556
Come and get me when you're
ready
925
00:40:24,590 --> 00:40:25,857
and I'll pick the best ending.
926
00:40:25,891 --> 00:40:28,193
Ta-ta for now.
927
00:40:29,260 --> 00:40:30,896
Well?
928
00:40:35,166 --> 00:40:36,602
[SIGHS]
929
00:40:42,908 --> 00:40:45,010
Too good to sit with the rest
of us?
930
00:40:45,043 --> 00:40:47,546
Just roll the footage.
931
00:40:51,583 --> 00:40:52,851
[MOTOR HUMMING]
932
00:41:01,893 --> 00:41:03,228
[BEEP]
933
00:41:03,261 --> 00:41:04,996
[DIGITAL WHIRRING]
934
00:41:05,030 --> 00:41:06,898
[SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC]
935
00:41:28,286 --> 00:41:32,190
[FOOTSTEPS]
936
00:41:44,302 --> 00:41:47,205
Oh, I got it! It's zombies!
937
00:41:47,238 --> 00:41:49,575
No, it's a vampire fraternity!
938
00:41:49,608 --> 00:41:50,942
They already did that.
939
00:41:50,976 --> 00:41:52,578
Shhh!
940
00:41:54,012 --> 00:41:55,080
[FOOTSTEPS]
941
00:42:05,156 --> 00:42:06,558
[FLOWING WATER]
942
00:42:08,860 --> 00:42:10,261
[WAVES CRASHING]
943
00:42:12,030 --> 00:42:13,298
[SEAGULLS CALLING]
944
00:42:25,376 --> 00:42:27,112
[MYSTERIOUS MUSIC
INTENSIFIES]
945
00:42:50,902 --> 00:42:52,638
[HEAVY MUSICAL BEAT
KICKS IN]
946
00:43:49,728 --> 00:43:51,296
[SLOW, BROODING THEME]
947
00:43:54,265 --> 00:43:56,267
[FOOTSTEPS]
948
00:44:05,343 --> 00:44:07,178
[UPBEAT POP MUSIC IN
BACKGROUND]
949
00:44:07,212 --> 00:44:09,080
What's up, fellow frat dudes?
950
00:44:09,114 --> 00:44:10,849
What's shaking?
951
00:44:10,882 --> 00:44:13,418
Oh hey, Biff.
What's up?
952
00:44:13,451 --> 00:44:15,120
Just the usual, bro-han!
953
00:44:15,153 --> 00:44:17,155
I'm drinking this beer!
954
00:44:17,188 --> 00:44:19,791
[GRUNTS]
Workin' on my abs!
955
00:44:21,226 --> 00:44:23,261
Radical, dude!
956
00:44:23,294 --> 00:44:24,930
Nice.
957
00:44:26,031 --> 00:44:28,233
[SCARY, INDUSTRIAL MUSIC]
958
00:44:29,768 --> 00:44:32,303
[FOOTSTEPS]
959
00:44:34,039 --> 00:44:35,373
[WHOOSH]
960
00:44:46,184 --> 00:44:48,219
[MUSIC INTENSIFIES]
961
00:45:52,283 --> 00:45:53,384
[FOOTSTEPS]
962
00:46:25,183 --> 00:46:26,284
[WHOOSH]
963
00:46:57,382 --> 00:46:58,950
Oh, my...
964
00:46:58,984 --> 00:47:01,887
So far this is genius.
965
00:47:01,920 --> 00:47:04,255
It's great cinematography.
966
00:47:10,061 --> 00:47:11,262
[LOUD, ELECTRICAL CRACKLING]
967
00:47:11,296 --> 00:47:12,530
Whoa!
968
00:47:12,563 --> 00:47:14,599
The power just went out.
969
00:47:14,632 --> 00:47:16,534
Sure is dark in here.
970
00:47:18,336 --> 00:47:20,471
No power, no AC.
971
00:47:20,505 --> 00:47:21,907
[SNIFFS]
972
00:47:21,940 --> 00:47:23,541
I'm taking a shower!
973
00:47:26,277 --> 00:47:28,947
Hey, showers still work when
The power's out, right?
974
00:47:28,980 --> 00:47:30,581
I gotta take a shower!
975
00:47:30,615 --> 00:47:32,183
I really worked up a sweat.
976
00:47:33,084 --> 00:47:34,385
[CONTROLLED BREATHING]
977
00:47:37,055 --> 00:47:38,389
Hey Biff...
978
00:47:38,423 --> 00:47:40,025
Well, you don't think this has
anything to do
979
00:47:40,058 --> 00:47:41,126
with that hazing stunt we pulled
980
00:47:41,159 --> 00:47:43,361
where the old gypsy lady
accidentally got killed...
981
00:47:43,394 --> 00:47:45,030
Do you?
982
00:47:45,063 --> 00:47:46,364
Don't sweat it, bro, I'm sure
it's just some
983
00:47:46,397 --> 00:47:49,134
freak power outage.
984
00:47:49,167 --> 00:47:51,102
Let's split up and look
for a fusebox.
985
00:47:51,136 --> 00:47:52,904
It's gotta be
around here somewhere.
986
00:47:52,938 --> 00:47:55,006
Solid plan, dude.
987
00:47:56,241 --> 00:47:57,943
But first...
988
00:47:57,976 --> 00:47:59,945
we're going to need
flashlights.
989
00:48:01,579 --> 00:48:03,114
Flashlights?
990
00:48:03,148 --> 00:48:04,950
In the middle of the day?
991
00:48:04,983 --> 00:48:06,451
Hey, come on! Flashlights,
goddamn it!
992
00:48:06,484 --> 00:48:07,986
Come on!
993
00:48:08,019 --> 00:48:11,156
Could you just shut up
and watch this?
994
00:48:11,189 --> 00:48:13,491
Yes, both of you shut up.
995
00:48:16,561 --> 00:48:18,329
[BIRDS CHIRPING]
996
00:48:22,467 --> 00:48:24,502
[POURING WATER]
997
00:48:33,111 --> 00:48:35,013
[SEAGULLS CALLING]
998
00:49:14,552 --> 00:49:16,221
[FOOTSTEPS]
999
00:49:40,078 --> 00:49:42,713
[OMINOUS MUSIC]
1000
00:49:42,747 --> 00:49:44,115
-[METALLIC SWISH]
-[MUSICAL CLIMAX]
1001
00:49:44,149 --> 00:49:45,483
[GASP]
1002
00:49:46,317 --> 00:49:47,685
[BEEP]
1003
00:49:47,718 --> 00:49:50,688
Sorry, I had to stop
that for a minute.
1004
00:49:50,721 --> 00:49:52,390
[SIGHS]
1005
00:49:52,423 --> 00:49:54,125
That was a little bit more
intense
1006
00:49:54,159 --> 00:49:56,394
than what I was expecting.
1007
00:49:56,427 --> 00:49:58,229
The guy with the knife...
1008
00:49:58,263 --> 00:49:59,764
and the black gloves?
1009
00:49:59,797 --> 00:50:02,500
It is so Giallo.
1010
00:50:02,533 --> 00:50:04,469
What's Giallo?
1011
00:50:04,502 --> 00:50:08,206
It's an Italian slasher film.
1012
00:50:08,239 --> 00:50:10,541
Oh my God!
1013
00:50:10,575 --> 00:50:12,443
Well then why didn't you just
say
1014
00:50:12,477 --> 00:50:15,113
"Italian horror slasher film?"
1015
00:50:15,146 --> 00:50:17,648
Stop being pretentious!
1016
00:50:17,682 --> 00:50:19,650
You've been in the horror
business
1017
00:50:19,684 --> 00:50:21,486
for forty years,
1018
00:50:21,519 --> 00:50:25,223
And you don't know
what a Giallo is?
1019
00:50:25,256 --> 00:50:27,492
I have not been
in the businesses
1020
00:50:27,525 --> 00:50:30,095
for forty years!
1021
00:50:30,128 --> 00:50:31,562
Let's not fight, okay?
1022
00:50:31,596 --> 00:50:34,532
Especially with Bosley
watching.
1023
00:50:34,565 --> 00:50:36,234
Fine.
1024
00:50:36,267 --> 00:50:38,669
Let's just focus on the movie.
1025
00:50:38,703 --> 00:50:41,239
Okay, so we have some studs,
1026
00:50:41,272 --> 00:50:43,374
and a guy with black gloves
1027
00:50:43,408 --> 00:50:44,742
running around in the
background...
1028
00:50:44,775 --> 00:50:45,843
In the background,
1029
00:50:45,876 --> 00:50:48,413
off-camera...
1030
00:50:48,446 --> 00:50:50,081
Oh!
1031
00:50:50,115 --> 00:50:51,716
And the gypsy woman.
1032
00:50:51,749 --> 00:50:53,851
Right! Some old gypsy woman.
1033
00:50:53,884 --> 00:50:56,187
She's the killer.
1034
00:50:56,221 --> 00:50:57,388
No.
1035
00:50:57,422 --> 00:50:58,723
No.
1036
00:50:58,756 --> 00:51:01,159
It reminds me of a movie that
I did
1037
00:51:01,192 --> 00:51:02,593
in Romania about ten years
ago.
1038
00:51:02,627 --> 00:51:04,729
Subhumanoid Killers,
remember?
1039
00:51:04,762 --> 00:51:07,798
I mean, the old gypsy lady's
a red-herring.
1040
00:51:07,832 --> 00:51:09,667
But I'll bet you cash money,
1041
00:51:09,700 --> 00:51:11,269
the real killer...
1042
00:51:11,302 --> 00:51:13,871
is one of the frat boys'
sister,
1043
00:51:13,904 --> 00:51:15,340
who has been held in the
basement
1044
00:51:15,373 --> 00:51:17,675
for ten years.
1045
00:51:17,708 --> 00:51:19,544
So, they've been in a frat
since they were
1046
00:51:19,577 --> 00:51:21,279
eight years old?
1047
00:51:22,913 --> 00:51:24,615
No.
I don't know!
1048
00:51:24,649 --> 00:51:26,384
It doesn't have to be ten
years,
1049
00:51:26,417 --> 00:51:28,253
it's just what happened in
The Subhumanoid Killers.
1050
00:51:29,287 --> 00:51:31,889
Oh my God, that was
so terrible!
1051
00:51:31,922 --> 00:51:33,558
Congratulations.
1052
00:51:33,591 --> 00:51:37,228
You were locked in a basement
for ten years,
1053
00:51:37,262 --> 00:51:41,332
and then you popped up
and you had an expensive hairdo,
1054
00:51:41,366 --> 00:51:45,836
and about seventy dollars
worth of glamor makeup on.
1055
00:51:46,504 --> 00:51:49,174
So realistic!
1056
00:51:49,207 --> 00:51:52,810
Well excuse me,
Charlize Theron!
1057
00:51:52,843 --> 00:51:55,713
I just saw your new TV movie.
1058
00:51:55,746 --> 00:51:57,482
[LAUGHING]
What did you play?
1059
00:51:57,515 --> 00:51:59,884
A high school janitor who
showed up to work
1060
00:51:59,917 --> 00:52:02,520
in a miniskirt
and high heels every day?
1061
00:52:02,553 --> 00:52:05,556
It was an important part of
the plot.
1062
00:52:05,590 --> 00:52:07,558
Okay, that's enough!
1063
00:52:07,592 --> 00:52:08,859
Will you guys stop fighting,
1064
00:52:08,893 --> 00:52:10,461
so we can keep watching this?
1065
00:52:10,495 --> 00:52:12,730
-Please?
-Fine.
1066
00:52:17,468 --> 00:52:18,603
[BEEP]
1067
00:52:18,636 --> 00:52:20,338
[SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC]
1068
00:52:30,215 --> 00:52:32,750
[FOOTSTEPS]
1069
00:52:41,526 --> 00:52:43,661
[SHOWER RUNNING]
1070
00:52:45,630 --> 00:52:46,664
[METALLIC SWISH]
1071
00:52:47,598 --> 00:52:49,166
[GASPS]
1072
00:52:51,369 --> 00:52:53,971
Okay, they killed B.J.
1073
00:52:54,004 --> 00:52:55,806
I really liked B.J.
1074
00:52:55,840 --> 00:52:57,775
[SCOFFS]
I saw that one coming.
1075
00:52:59,777 --> 00:53:01,279
Seriously, what do we have?
1076
00:53:01,312 --> 00:53:03,481
So far two people are dead,
1077
00:53:03,514 --> 00:53:05,250
four more are wandering around
1078
00:53:05,283 --> 00:53:06,451
inside the frat house.
1079
00:53:06,484 --> 00:53:07,918
The power's out...
1080
00:53:07,952 --> 00:53:09,787
And there's the gypsy.
1081
00:53:09,820 --> 00:53:12,490
You know, I wanted to point
that out.
1082
00:53:12,523 --> 00:53:14,792
So far the only female role
even mentioned
1083
00:53:14,825 --> 00:53:16,694
In the movie is
an old gypsy lady.
1084
00:53:16,727 --> 00:53:18,596
And I'll just have you know,
Bosley, I'm not
1085
00:53:18,629 --> 00:53:20,598
playing an old gypsy lady.
1086
00:53:20,631 --> 00:53:22,767
Four hours every day
in the makeup chair...
1087
00:53:22,800 --> 00:53:24,469
Fake moles...
1088
00:53:24,502 --> 00:53:27,605
That's an hour less than
normal.
1089
00:53:27,638 --> 00:53:31,942
You could just play
it au naturel.
1090
00:53:31,976 --> 00:53:34,979
Let's just watch the movie,
shall we?
1091
00:53:35,012 --> 00:53:36,681
This reminds me of when I was
writing
1092
00:53:36,714 --> 00:53:38,949
the screenplay
for Leather Mutant 4'
1093
00:53:38,983 --> 00:53:41,018
I had to ask myself these same
questions.
1094
00:53:41,051 --> 00:53:43,554
What do we know about these
frat guys?
1095
00:53:43,588 --> 00:53:46,491
What makes their characters
tick?
1096
00:53:46,524 --> 00:53:49,327
Why are they running around
inside the frat house?
1097
00:53:49,360 --> 00:53:50,661
What's their motivation?
1098
00:53:50,695 --> 00:53:52,463
They're morons.
1099
00:53:52,497 --> 00:53:54,465
They drink beer?
1100
00:53:54,499 --> 00:53:56,534
They die well?
1101
00:53:58,603 --> 00:54:00,405
Exactly.
1102
00:54:00,438 --> 00:54:02,773
It's a typical, B-movie
cheese-fest,
1103
00:54:02,807 --> 00:54:05,042
Right up until the killer with
the gloves shows up.
1104
00:54:05,075 --> 00:54:09,914
So, you have a director that's
bad at directing actors,
1105
00:54:09,947 --> 00:54:13,684
But he's really, really good
at directing violence...
1106
00:54:13,718 --> 00:54:15,720
Yeah. Who's never been
to college,
1107
00:54:15,753 --> 00:54:17,422
or even met a college student.
1108
00:54:17,455 --> 00:54:18,623
Ever.
1109
00:54:18,656 --> 00:54:20,991
You guys ever hear
of a movie from the 70s,
1110
00:54:21,025 --> 00:54:23,761
called Doctor Meat's Nightmare
Dungeon?
1111
00:54:24,895 --> 00:54:27,465
Yeah. Is that where the dwarf
puts
1112
00:54:27,498 --> 00:54:29,334
the woman in the closet
and tortures her,
1113
00:54:29,367 --> 00:54:31,802
or something like that?
1114
00:54:31,836 --> 00:54:34,439
Well. I wasn't born during
the 70s, but...
1115
00:54:34,472 --> 00:54:38,008
[LAUGHING]
Yeah. You were bartending
back in the 70s.
1116
00:54:40,478 --> 00:54:43,047
But...I used to date this grip.
1117
00:54:43,080 --> 00:54:45,350
He worked
on a lot of Corman movies,
1118
00:54:45,383 --> 00:54:46,984
and occasionally did some real
bargain-basement stuff
1119
00:54:47,017 --> 00:54:48,419
for indie guys.
1120
00:54:48,453 --> 00:54:50,821
He told me this story.
1121
00:54:50,855 --> 00:54:54,492
He was key grip on
Doctor Meat's
Nightmare Dungeon.
1122
00:54:54,525 --> 00:54:57,862
It comes out and everybody
goes crazy,
1123
00:54:57,895 --> 00:55:01,832
because the violence
and the special effects are
so realistic.
1124
00:55:01,866 --> 00:55:04,735
Four years later, the cops
show up on his doorstep.
1125
00:55:04,769 --> 00:55:08,072
They're talking to everybody
from the production.
1126
00:55:08,105 --> 00:55:10,808
They want to know why some of
the actors
1127
00:55:10,841 --> 00:55:14,945
from the movie haven't been
seen or heard from since it
came out.
1128
00:55:14,979 --> 00:55:16,614
Oh. Let me see...
1129
00:55:16,647 --> 00:55:19,517
They're probably waiting
tables at Sizzler?
1130
00:55:19,550 --> 00:55:21,952
No.
1131
00:55:21,986 --> 00:55:24,755
This grip I was dating...
1132
00:55:24,789 --> 00:55:27,057
he takes the cops to where
they shot the movie.
1133
00:55:27,091 --> 00:55:29,427
Some old, abandoned
house in Encino.
1134
00:55:29,460 --> 00:55:32,062
And he tells the cops
some of the weird things
1135
00:55:32,096 --> 00:55:34,031
that the director was into.
1136
00:55:34,064 --> 00:55:35,700
Like. He would have the crew
1137
00:55:35,733 --> 00:55:38,903
set up the shots
for all the death scenes.
1138
00:55:38,936 --> 00:55:40,838
And then he'd clear the set.
1139
00:55:40,871 --> 00:55:43,140
And he would shoot those
scenes with just him...
1140
00:55:43,173 --> 00:55:44,308
and the actor.
1141
00:55:44,341 --> 00:55:47,612
Well then. So what happened to
the makeup effects guys?
1142
00:55:47,645 --> 00:55:49,514
That was another weird thing.
1143
00:55:49,547 --> 00:55:51,416
The director told the crew,
1144
00:55:51,449 --> 00:55:55,453
that he was going to do
all the special makeup effects
himself.
1145
00:55:55,486 --> 00:55:57,888
And yet nobody ever sees
any effects stuff.
1146
00:55:57,922 --> 00:56:01,426
No stage blood. No fake
knives, nothing.
1147
00:56:01,459 --> 00:56:03,694
And yet he's pulling off these
incredible,
1148
00:56:03,728 --> 00:56:05,463
super-realistic effects.
1149
00:56:05,496 --> 00:56:08,699
So, he shoots
these effects shots,
1150
00:56:08,733 --> 00:56:10,568
with just him and the actor.
1151
00:56:10,601 --> 00:56:12,703
And then, whichever actor is
in the kill scene,
1152
00:56:12,737 --> 00:56:14,439
he sends them home afterward.
1153
00:56:14,472 --> 00:56:18,008
Except there's no crew there
to see them leave.
1154
00:56:18,042 --> 00:56:20,711
ALEXIS: Yeah. I think I know
where this is going.
1155
00:56:20,745 --> 00:56:23,681
The cops look around,
find six dead bodies
1156
00:56:23,714 --> 00:56:25,883
wrapped in tarps
under the house.
1157
00:56:25,916 --> 00:56:27,418
The actors.
1158
00:56:27,452 --> 00:56:28,653
Their wounds match everything
that
1159
00:56:28,686 --> 00:56:30,555
happened to them in the movie.
1160
00:56:30,588 --> 00:56:33,090
This director was so intent
1161
00:56:33,123 --> 00:56:35,526
on making the violence look
real,
1162
00:56:35,560 --> 00:56:36,994
That he just cut out the
middle man and
1163
00:56:37,027 --> 00:56:39,196
killed these guys on screen!
1164
00:56:39,229 --> 00:56:40,698
So for four years people are
1165
00:56:40,731 --> 00:56:42,166
flocking to the theater,
1166
00:56:42,199 --> 00:56:43,634
because they think this is the
next
1167
00:56:43,668 --> 00:56:45,169
Texas Chainsaw Massacre.
1168
00:56:45,202 --> 00:56:48,506
And it turns out they're
watching a snuff film!
1169
00:56:48,539 --> 00:56:52,009
Oh, no. You don't think...
1170
00:56:52,042 --> 00:56:53,911
Maybe Bosley decided that the
only way
1171
00:56:53,944 --> 00:56:55,680
to get the kids to see
his movie
1172
00:56:55,713 --> 00:56:58,115
is to make
it as realistic as possible.
1173
00:56:58,148 --> 00:56:59,950
No.
1174
00:56:59,984 --> 00:57:01,552
Bosley's a lot of things.
1175
00:57:01,586 --> 00:57:02,953
I mean he's a con artist
1176
00:57:02,987 --> 00:57:04,655
and a drug addict,
1177
00:57:04,689 --> 00:57:05,856
He's a womanizer
1178
00:57:05,890 --> 00:57:07,558
and a tax evader.
1179
00:57:07,592 --> 00:57:09,527
He's an alcoholic,
a bad father
1180
00:57:09,560 --> 00:57:10,628
and a lousy lay,
1181
00:57:10,661 --> 00:57:12,963
but he is not a murderer!
1182
00:57:12,997 --> 00:57:14,732
Unless somebody paid him...
1183
00:57:14,765 --> 00:57:16,701
cash. Up front.
1184
00:57:16,734 --> 00:57:19,504
Well what about that Belgian
director?
1185
00:57:19,537 --> 00:57:20,938
Maybe he's a wacko,
1186
00:57:20,971 --> 00:57:23,841
and Bosley does not know.
1187
00:57:23,874 --> 00:57:26,477
Well. If he doesn't know it,
I'm not going to tell him.
1188
00:57:26,511 --> 00:57:28,045
Why not?
1189
00:57:28,078 --> 00:57:31,516
Because I'm not losing this
gig. That's why not!
1190
00:57:31,549 --> 00:57:33,651
Are you serious?
1191
00:57:33,684 --> 00:57:37,655
Yeah! I mean. Who says
you got the role?
1192
00:57:37,688 --> 00:57:39,189
What about us?
1193
00:57:39,223 --> 00:57:42,259
[SCOFFS] You're acting
like you would turn it down?
1194
00:57:42,292 --> 00:57:44,895
I'd have to think about it.
1195
00:57:44,929 --> 00:57:46,697
Look. This isn't a snuff
movie, okay?
1196
00:57:46,731 --> 00:57:50,100
I mean. I saw blood tubes
in some of those shots.
1197
00:57:50,134 --> 00:57:52,703
And that guy who played B.J...
1198
00:57:52,737 --> 00:57:54,238
I think I saw him at an
audition
1199
00:57:54,271 --> 00:57:56,240
for an Old Navy commercial
last week.
1200
00:57:56,273 --> 00:57:59,243
According to you, anyway.
1201
00:57:59,276 --> 00:58:01,011
Well if this is all too much
for you,
1202
00:58:01,045 --> 00:58:02,980
you can always leave.
1203
00:58:03,013 --> 00:58:05,049
Listen. We're just getting
distracted.
1204
00:58:05,082 --> 00:58:06,984
Let's just see what happens.
1205
00:58:12,022 --> 00:58:13,290
[BEEP]
1206
00:58:13,323 --> 00:58:14,959
[PROJECTOR FAN HUMS]
1207
00:58:14,992 --> 00:58:17,595
[SINISTER MUSIC]
1208
00:58:20,064 --> 00:58:22,767
[BIRDS CHIRPING]
1209
00:58:26,571 --> 00:58:31,141
[FOOTSTEPS]
1210
00:58:35,980 --> 00:58:39,750
[SUDDEN MUSICAL INTENSITY]
1211
00:58:46,891 --> 00:58:48,759
[METALLIC SWISH]
1212
00:58:48,793 --> 00:58:50,227
-[GASPS]
-[BEEP]
1213
00:58:52,963 --> 00:58:55,132
Okay. So Brad's dead.
1214
00:58:55,165 --> 00:58:57,802
Brad was the weak link
of the bunch.
1215
00:58:57,835 --> 00:59:01,572
And I'm surprised he didn't
die first. Really.
1216
00:59:01,606 --> 00:59:03,173
You know this is just a bunch
of scenes
1217
00:59:03,207 --> 00:59:05,943
that don't really have a story
to hold them together.
1218
00:59:05,976 --> 00:59:08,145
Well. They're trying to get
the power turned back on.
1219
00:59:08,178 --> 00:59:10,848
That's a plot point.
It's not a story.
1220
00:59:10,881 --> 00:59:12,950
Why does the power go out?
1221
00:59:12,983 --> 00:59:15,185
What's that got to do
with the rest of the movie?
1222
00:59:15,219 --> 00:59:17,354
Oh God. That means we have
to come up
1223
00:59:17,387 --> 00:59:19,624
With the whole story?
1224
00:59:19,657 --> 00:59:22,126
What do you mean "we"?
1225
00:59:22,159 --> 00:59:23,360
You mean each one of us
individually.
1226
00:59:23,393 --> 00:59:25,896
And the one that Bosley likes
best.
1227
00:59:25,930 --> 00:59:27,765
That's what he's going to pick.
1228
00:59:27,798 --> 00:59:31,268
And you two are going to be
shit out of luck.
1229
00:59:31,301 --> 00:59:33,370
Well I'm still not convinced
this not the real deal.
1230
00:59:33,403 --> 00:59:37,007
Come on. Ellen just put all
those ideas in your head.
1231
00:59:37,041 --> 00:59:39,143
I've seen episodes of
Bewitched with
1232
00:59:39,176 --> 00:59:41,612
better makeup effects
than that.
1233
00:59:41,646 --> 00:59:44,715
I didn't put any idea
in anybody's head.
1234
00:59:44,749 --> 00:59:47,384
It's not my fault that Alexis
is gullible.
1235
00:59:47,417 --> 00:59:50,020
You mean you weren't telling
the truth?
1236
00:59:50,054 --> 00:59:51,255
The story really happened.
1237
00:59:51,288 --> 00:59:53,190
I didn't make that up.
1238
00:59:53,223 --> 00:59:55,893
Enough about the goddamn snuff
movie!
1239
00:59:55,926 --> 00:59:57,261
Okay?
1240
00:59:57,294 --> 00:59:59,730
Let's just worry about this
movie.
1241
00:59:59,764 --> 01:00:01,699
Fine!
So where were we?
1242
01:00:01,732 --> 01:00:04,301
We have to come up with a
story and a plot-line from
scratch?
1243
01:00:04,334 --> 01:00:08,005
Well you'd have to come up all
the stuff between the kills.
1244
01:00:08,038 --> 01:00:10,875
Like...
Is this place haunted?
1245
01:00:10,908 --> 01:00:12,843
Was it built over a burial
ground?
1246
01:00:14,344 --> 01:00:16,781
Why does
everybody have to die?
1247
01:00:16,814 --> 01:00:18,916
Does it have to be a burial
ground?
1248
01:00:18,949 --> 01:00:20,317
Ghosts are really hot right
now.
1249
01:00:20,350 --> 01:00:22,219
It's a ghost.
1250
01:00:22,252 --> 01:00:24,989
You think Bosley's going to
pay for a CGI ghost?
1251
01:00:25,022 --> 01:00:28,392
It's a lame idea!
1252
01:00:28,425 --> 01:00:31,195
I think the old gypsy woman is
a werewolf,
1253
01:00:31,228 --> 01:00:34,799
and she has werewolf powers.
1254
01:00:34,832 --> 01:00:36,934
And so when the frat boys go
to kill her,
1255
01:00:36,967 --> 01:00:39,036
they can't!
1256
01:00:39,069 --> 01:00:40,971
Yeah. Except why would a
werewolf be wearing
1257
01:00:41,005 --> 01:00:44,174
black gloves and stabbing
people with a knife?
1258
01:00:45,075 --> 01:00:47,878
Maybe she's edgy?
1259
01:00:47,912 --> 01:00:50,380
Well. While you two come up
with more stupid ideas.
1260
01:00:50,414 --> 01:00:52,316
I'm going to go
powder my nose.
1261
01:00:52,349 --> 01:00:55,052
I thought you got
clean ten years ago.
1262
01:00:55,085 --> 01:00:56,821
Don't be crude.
1263
01:00:59,089 --> 01:01:01,859
I'm starting up the movie
again!
1264
01:01:01,892 --> 01:01:04,061
Fine by me!
1265
01:01:04,094 --> 01:01:07,965
If you ask me, Chad's going
to be the next one to die!
1266
01:01:12,002 --> 01:01:13,103
[BEEP]
1267
01:01:13,137 --> 01:01:15,172
[EERIE MUSIC]
1268
01:01:38,428 --> 01:01:40,965
[FOOTSTEPS]
1269
01:01:54,378 --> 01:01:55,479
[GASP]
1270
01:01:55,512 --> 01:01:57,147
[METALLIC SWISH]
1271
01:01:58,282 --> 01:01:59,850
[PIERCING STAB, MUFFLED GROAN]
1272
01:02:00,785 --> 01:02:03,888
[FOOTSTEPS]
1273
01:02:07,024 --> 01:02:08,358
Hi!
1274
01:02:08,392 --> 01:02:10,360
This is Bosley's old secret
passageway.
1275
01:02:10,394 --> 01:02:12,229
To hide from debt collectors,
1276
01:02:12,262 --> 01:02:14,198
and paternity suits and that!
1277
01:02:14,231 --> 01:02:16,466
But what are you doing here?
1278
01:02:16,500 --> 01:02:19,336
I was about to ask you the
same thing.
1279
01:02:19,369 --> 01:02:21,105
Uh. Yeah...I was, uh...
1280
01:02:21,138 --> 01:02:22,973
I was going to call my
manager.
1281
01:02:23,007 --> 01:02:24,441
Or calling Bosley,
1282
01:02:24,474 --> 01:02:26,944
to swing the vote
in your favor?
1283
01:02:26,977 --> 01:02:28,345
[EXASPERATED SIGH]
Be serious.
1284
01:02:28,378 --> 01:02:30,180
He's probably up in the
projection room
1285
01:02:30,214 --> 01:02:31,916
getting drunk right now.
1286
01:02:31,949 --> 01:02:33,851
We'll be lucky if he can even
form a complete sentence
1287
01:02:33,884 --> 01:02:35,485
by the time we talk
to him.
1288
01:02:35,519 --> 01:02:38,022
Look. I know you want this
role.
1289
01:02:38,055 --> 01:02:39,857
I want this role.
1290
01:02:39,890 --> 01:02:42,960
We've had our differences.
But let's let them be settled.
1291
01:02:42,993 --> 01:02:47,197
I think that Ellen is setting
us up.
1292
01:02:47,231 --> 01:02:49,333
Hmm...
1293
01:02:49,366 --> 01:02:51,368
I don't think she's that
smart.
1294
01:02:51,401 --> 01:02:53,370
Or maybe she's playing us for
chumps.
1295
01:02:53,403 --> 01:02:56,206
All that talk about her
getting here.
1296
01:02:56,240 --> 01:02:57,908
And getting here first.
1297
01:02:57,942 --> 01:02:59,877
And...And that talk about the
boyfriend
1298
01:02:59,910 --> 01:03:01,511
and the snuff movies.
1299
01:03:01,545 --> 01:03:02,913
Oh please.
1300
01:03:02,947 --> 01:03:05,449
According to her,
she did the entire crew
1301
01:03:05,482 --> 01:03:08,152
on the set
of Kramer vs. Kramer,
1302
01:03:08,185 --> 01:03:11,521
when she was a one-day extra
on the set. [SCOFFS]
1303
01:03:11,555 --> 01:03:14,324
Stop being a super-bitch
for, like, five minutes!
1304
01:03:14,358 --> 01:03:17,327
You know, all those weird vibes
in the air.
1305
01:03:17,361 --> 01:03:20,064
They're all coming from Ellen.
1306
01:03:20,097 --> 01:03:22,232
I think she's trying to get in
our head.
1307
01:03:22,266 --> 01:03:25,069
Well, I am going to go back in
there,
1308
01:03:25,102 --> 01:03:27,872
and I am going to come up with
a kick-ass idea.
1309
01:03:27,905 --> 01:03:30,507
And I am going to get that
role.
1310
01:03:30,540 --> 01:03:33,543
Oh. The "old gypsy lady" role?
1311
01:03:33,577 --> 01:03:37,114
It's not going to be a gypsy
lady!
1312
01:03:37,147 --> 01:03:40,184
[FOOTSTEPS]
1313
01:03:40,217 --> 01:03:43,220
[ORGAN MUSIC]
1314
01:03:44,421 --> 01:03:51,361
[FOOTSTEPS]
1315
01:04:05,375 --> 01:04:06,576
[BEEP]
1316
01:04:11,681 --> 01:04:13,517
Did you two have fun?
1317
01:04:13,550 --> 01:04:15,886
Oh. Loads.
1318
01:04:15,920 --> 01:04:19,223
So. What did we miss when we
were gone?
1319
01:04:19,256 --> 01:04:21,425
Sylvia was right.
Chad got killed.
1320
01:04:21,458 --> 01:04:23,427
[LAUGHING]
I told you!
1321
01:04:23,460 --> 01:04:24,628
Name symmetry!
1322
01:04:24,661 --> 01:04:27,164
If you kill Brad, then you
pretty much have to kill Chad!
1323
01:04:27,965 --> 01:04:29,466
Oh. Terrible!
1324
01:04:29,499 --> 01:04:31,335
Well I didn't write it!
1325
01:04:32,202 --> 01:04:34,138
Any ideas?
1326
01:04:34,171 --> 01:04:35,906
I think everybody's going to
get killed.
1327
01:04:35,940 --> 01:04:37,674
So this movie has no hero.
1328
01:04:37,707 --> 01:04:39,944
You mean "a protagonist".
1329
01:04:39,977 --> 01:04:41,345
No. A hero.
1330
01:04:41,378 --> 01:04:43,347
Everybody who wrote and
starred in
1331
01:04:43,380 --> 01:04:45,082
Leather Mutant 4 ',
raise your hand.
1332
01:04:45,115 --> 01:04:48,152
No?
1333
01:04:48,185 --> 01:04:50,354
Then don't correct me. Okay?
Thanks.
1334
01:04:50,387 --> 01:04:53,457
But the movie has no hero,
so the plot has nowhere to go.
1335
01:04:53,490 --> 01:04:57,361
Then, the female lead is
the hero.
1336
01:04:57,394 --> 01:05:00,998
Well, where in the is there
room for a female lead?
1337
01:05:01,031 --> 01:05:02,666
The old gypsy woman!
1338
01:05:02,699 --> 01:05:04,268
She's the hero!
1339
01:05:04,301 --> 01:05:07,037
She's the killer!
1340
01:05:07,071 --> 01:05:08,705
Or we just make up a new
character,
1341
01:05:08,738 --> 01:05:11,408
which is pretty much the whole
point of this.
1342
01:05:11,441 --> 01:05:14,211
New character. And the story
revolves around her.
1343
01:05:14,244 --> 01:05:16,580
A female detective!
1344
01:05:16,613 --> 01:05:18,082
-A frat-boy mom!
-[GASP]
1345
01:05:18,115 --> 01:05:19,716
Older sister...
1346
01:05:19,749 --> 01:05:22,386
And she figures the whole
thing out in the end.
1347
01:05:22,419 --> 01:05:23,954
And she ends up with Biff.
1348
01:05:24,488 --> 01:05:25,990
[SIGH]
1349
01:05:26,023 --> 01:05:27,291
Okay. To be honest,
1350
01:05:27,324 --> 01:05:29,493
this isn't grabbing me.
1351
01:05:29,526 --> 01:05:32,529
Biff's the killer!
It's a twist ending.
1352
01:05:32,562 --> 01:05:37,167
Let's just watch the next
scene and see if he gets it.
1353
01:05:46,610 --> 01:05:48,178
[BEEP]
1354
01:05:48,212 --> 01:05:49,513
[MYSTERIOUS MUSIC]
1355
01:06:08,632 --> 01:06:11,568
[CHAOTIC BASS LINE]
1356
01:06:44,568 --> 01:06:46,536
[SOMBRE PIANO MUSIC]
1357
01:07:02,519 --> 01:07:05,055
[INTENSE CRESCENDO]
1358
01:07:06,256 --> 01:07:07,491
[MUSIC STOPS SUDDENLY]
1359
01:07:08,625 --> 01:07:10,094
[METALLIC SWISH]
1360
01:07:10,127 --> 01:07:12,129
[BEEP]
1361
01:07:12,162 --> 01:07:16,233
[SIGHS] So Clyde's dead.
Biff has to be the killer.
1362
01:07:16,266 --> 01:07:18,535
No. I disagree...Um...
1363
01:07:18,568 --> 01:07:22,606
Because Biff was
the moral center of the movie.
1364
01:07:22,639 --> 01:07:25,209
He was the rock.
1365
01:07:25,242 --> 01:07:28,112
It could be misdirection.
Right?
1366
01:07:28,145 --> 01:07:31,615
I mean you think Biff is
this, just, great guy,
and then, "Bam!"
1367
01:07:31,648 --> 01:07:34,651
He turns into a killer.
1368
01:07:34,684 --> 01:07:36,686
I can always rewrite
the ending so that Biff's
the killer.
1369
01:07:36,720 --> 01:07:38,688
It's no big deal.
1370
01:07:38,722 --> 01:07:40,390
Yeah. It is no big deal,
1371
01:07:40,424 --> 01:07:42,292
because I am going to rewrite
the ending.
1372
01:07:42,326 --> 01:07:44,194
Where I play the female
detective,
1373
01:07:44,228 --> 01:07:46,496
and I save Biff
from the old gypsy lady.
1374
01:07:46,530 --> 01:07:49,433
The old gypsy lady.
1375
01:07:49,466 --> 01:07:51,101
She comes in,
1376
01:07:51,135 --> 01:07:52,669
and she says
a spell or something.
1377
01:07:52,702 --> 01:07:54,404
And then... And then...
1378
01:07:54,438 --> 01:07:55,772
I don't know.
I can fix it in post.
1379
01:07:57,174 --> 01:08:00,177
I have actual writing
experience.
1380
01:08:00,210 --> 01:08:03,147
Not according
to Rotten Tomatoes. You don't.
1381
01:08:03,180 --> 01:08:07,251
And quit rubbing
our faces in that crap.
1382
01:08:07,284 --> 01:08:09,519
I mean nobody even saw it!
1383
01:08:09,553 --> 01:08:12,189
The franchise was dead after
part three!
1384
01:08:12,222 --> 01:08:15,192
Let's just finish watching
this.
1385
01:08:15,225 --> 01:08:16,860
You guys are just giving me a
headache!
1386
01:08:21,698 --> 01:08:23,500
[BEEP]
1387
01:08:25,235 --> 01:08:27,704
[SCARY MUSIC]
1388
01:08:30,207 --> 01:08:33,410
[FOOTSTEPS]
1389
01:08:51,261 --> 01:08:53,230
[ELECTRONIC MUSIC]
1390
01:08:53,263 --> 01:08:55,632
Hey I found a flashlight!
1391
01:08:55,665 --> 01:08:57,534
Now I can see my way around
this place.
1392
01:08:57,567 --> 01:09:00,404
Flashlights! What about these
goddamn flashlights?
1393
01:09:00,837 --> 01:09:01,905
[METALLIC SWISH]
1394
01:09:01,938 --> 01:09:03,273
[GASPS]
1395
01:09:03,307 --> 01:09:05,275
-[STABBING SOUND]
-[BEEP]
1396
01:09:05,309 --> 01:09:06,743
[SIGHS]
So...
1397
01:09:06,776 --> 01:09:10,214
How are we going to fix that?
1398
01:09:10,247 --> 01:09:11,415
I know how.
1399
01:09:11,448 --> 01:09:13,383
We bring Biff back.
1400
01:09:13,417 --> 01:09:15,219
The older sister shows up.
1401
01:09:15,252 --> 01:09:16,753
She thinks he's dead.
1402
01:09:16,786 --> 01:09:18,388
She wrestles with the killer,
1403
01:09:18,422 --> 01:09:20,857
rips off his gypsy lady mask.
1404
01:09:20,890 --> 01:09:22,492
And boom! It's B.J.
1405
01:09:22,526 --> 01:09:24,494
What?
1406
01:09:24,528 --> 01:09:25,929
B.J. Is the killer? But...
1407
01:09:25,962 --> 01:09:27,697
I thought he died second.
1408
01:09:27,731 --> 01:09:29,366
No. Nobody dies.
1409
01:09:29,399 --> 01:09:31,268
It turns out they pull an
April Fool's Day
1410
01:09:31,301 --> 01:09:33,270
on the audience.
1411
01:09:33,303 --> 01:09:34,538
Some crazy murder mystery
thing.
1412
01:09:34,571 --> 01:09:36,440
First, Biff plays the killer.
1413
01:09:36,473 --> 01:09:38,542
Then, B.J. plays the killer.
1414
01:09:38,575 --> 01:09:40,344
They pretend to get murdered.
1415
01:09:40,377 --> 01:09:43,547
The older sister thinks it's
real the whole time.
1416
01:09:43,580 --> 01:09:44,581
But she's just getting
pranked.
1417
01:09:45,549 --> 01:09:48,218
Oh it's the old double twist.
1418
01:09:48,252 --> 01:09:49,719
That works!
1419
01:09:49,753 --> 01:09:53,290
Yeah. Okay, but
now that we know
the best ending,
1420
01:09:53,323 --> 01:09:55,359
who gets the job
and who doesn't?
1421
01:09:55,392 --> 01:09:57,727
Well. We all do.
1422
01:09:57,761 --> 01:09:59,463
You play the gypsy,
1423
01:09:59,496 --> 01:10:01,431
I'll play the detective.
1424
01:10:01,465 --> 01:10:02,999
And you play the frat-mom!
1425
01:10:03,032 --> 01:10:04,501
Older sister.
1426
01:10:04,534 --> 01:10:06,303
We'll hash that one out.
1427
01:10:06,336 --> 01:10:07,771
Let's go talk to Bosley.
1428
01:10:07,804 --> 01:10:08,872
Yes!
1429
01:10:11,508 --> 01:10:12,876
Bosley, we figured it out!
1430
01:10:12,909 --> 01:10:14,378
We're going to...
1431
01:10:14,411 --> 01:10:16,980
[EERIE MUSIC]
1432
01:10:17,013 --> 01:10:18,515
Oh my God!
1433
01:10:18,548 --> 01:10:21,318
He must have put together that
silhouette...
1434
01:10:21,351 --> 01:10:22,886
While we were distracted!
1435
01:10:23,920 --> 01:10:25,922
Oh man...!
1436
01:10:25,955 --> 01:10:27,991
He must have gone
out for a drink!
1437
01:10:30,460 --> 01:10:32,729
-He was never here.
-[CLICK]
1438
01:10:32,762 --> 01:10:34,898
BOSLEY'S VOICE:
Sylvia. Alexis, Ellen,
1439
01:10:34,931 --> 01:10:37,033
I really want to thank you for
coming out today.
1440
01:10:37,066 --> 01:10:39,636
You're three of the most
well-known and respected
1441
01:10:39,669 --> 01:10:41,671
B-movie actresses in the
world.
1442
01:10:41,705 --> 01:10:43,840
He had to be here at some
point!
1443
01:10:43,873 --> 01:10:46,376
He has the keys to open up the
place.
1444
01:10:46,410 --> 01:10:48,412
And he had to press "Play"
on the tape recorder!
1445
01:10:48,445 --> 01:10:50,914
So he has to be here
someplace!
1446
01:10:50,947 --> 01:10:54,784
Maybe this is a test.
We have to find him?
1447
01:10:54,818 --> 01:10:56,653
This is
a hell-of-a-lot of trouble
1448
01:10:56,686 --> 01:11:00,990
to get some free writing
for a B-movie slasher film.
1449
01:11:01,525 --> 01:11:02,659
Okay.
1450
01:11:02,692 --> 01:11:04,027
All bets are off.
1451
01:11:04,060 --> 01:11:05,762
Whoever finds Bosley first,
1452
01:11:05,795 --> 01:11:08,031
gives him the pitch
and gets the role.
1453
01:11:08,064 --> 01:11:09,533
Let's go for it!
1454
01:11:09,566 --> 01:11:10,867
I can run pretty fast in these
heels.
1455
01:11:11,635 --> 01:11:13,002
Oh!
1456
01:11:38,462 --> 01:11:39,896
BOSLEY: Hello?
1457
01:11:39,929 --> 01:11:41,331
Hi, Bosley. It's me.
1458
01:11:41,365 --> 01:11:42,666
Sylvia! What's up, lady?
1459
01:11:42,699 --> 01:11:44,801
Well, I took that spare key
that you gave me,
1460
01:11:44,834 --> 01:11:47,804
and I came down to the studio
to sit with Death Frat
for a while.
1461
01:11:47,837 --> 01:11:49,105
BOSLEY: And?
1462
01:11:49,138 --> 01:11:50,840
Well I think I came up with
the perfect ending
1463
01:11:50,874 --> 01:11:52,241
to the movie that you wanted.
1464
01:11:52,275 --> 01:11:55,078
BOSLEY: So, we're still on
for our big meeting tomorrow?
1465
01:11:55,111 --> 01:11:57,647
Yes, indeed. I'll go
over it with you then.
1466
01:11:57,681 --> 01:11:58,882
I think you're
going to love it.
1467
01:11:59,683 --> 01:12:01,485
-Ciao!
-BOSLEY: Ta-ta!
1468
01:12:08,958 --> 01:12:10,560
[METALLIC SWISH]
1469
01:12:17,834 --> 01:12:21,438
I know the perfect ending to
the movie.
1470
01:12:21,471 --> 01:12:25,074
I call Alexis' and Ellen's'
agents...
1471
01:12:25,108 --> 01:12:28,378
pretending to be Bosley.
1472
01:12:28,412 --> 01:12:31,748
I tell them to come
down here today,
for something really big.
1473
01:12:32,849 --> 01:12:34,951
I get here early.
1474
01:12:34,984 --> 01:12:36,553
[LAUGHING]
1475
01:12:36,586 --> 01:12:38,922
I open up the place.
1476
01:12:39,856 --> 01:12:42,826
I set everything up...
1477
01:12:42,859 --> 01:12:44,761
And then I record a little
something
1478
01:12:44,794 --> 01:12:47,631
With the best phone app ever.
1479
01:12:47,664 --> 01:12:49,566
[DEVIOUS LAUGHTER]
1480
01:12:49,599 --> 01:12:51,535
Hello, ladies.
1481
01:12:52,569 --> 01:12:54,904
I pretend to show up late...
1482
01:12:54,938 --> 01:12:58,742
Oh. And then I make like I
don't have a clue what's
happening.
1483
01:12:58,775 --> 01:13:01,945
And I get Ellen and Alexis
to brainstorm
1484
01:13:01,978 --> 01:13:04,180
the perfect ending for me.
1485
01:13:04,213 --> 01:13:05,882
We split up,
looking for Bosley...
1486
01:13:06,850 --> 01:13:08,418
[CHORTLING]
1487
01:13:13,089 --> 01:13:15,859
And I take out the
competition!
1488
01:13:15,892 --> 01:13:18,762
[LAUGHING MANIACALLY]
1489
01:13:20,029 --> 01:13:22,666
Oh. I hate you guys.
1490
01:13:22,699 --> 01:13:25,569
[LAUGHING]
1491
01:13:40,116 --> 01:13:41,951
[FOOTSTEPS]
1492
01:13:43,587 --> 01:13:45,455
[POP MUSIC]
96849
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