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MASTER GALIP
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I am sixty years old.
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If only I could live
for another five years.
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I want to wake up, but I cannot.
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Most of the time,
I do not know where I am,
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but sometimes I think I'm elsewhere.
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I feel as if I will die if I don't wake up.
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At Uskudar, in the house by the sea,
I would sit up in my bed.
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With a heavy heart, I would listen
to the motor boats touring at night,
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embarking on their journeys
without beginning or end.
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The sound of the engines
is buzzing with nostalgia.
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It calls you to some far-off place.
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In front of the house at Uskudar,
the Bosporus has a different voice,
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a gentler and more secret one.
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The spring rains fall on Istanbul.
They are warm now.
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In some towns, it rains non-stop
for an entire month.
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I should have gone to see
what the world was like.
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There are so many factories in Istanbul.
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So many in Turkey,
so many in the world.
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Too many to count.
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And so many men wondering,
"What if I can't get any work?"
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Who knows how many unemployed
there are in the world?
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The spring rains fall on the domes
of the great mosque,
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on the crowns of the minarets,
on the Golden Horn, on the barges.
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The spring rains fall on the fish market.
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The spring rains fall on Galata Bridge.
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I have never received money
that wasn't a trade-off
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from anyone except my grandfather
on special occasions.
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Passers-by don't even look at us.
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Surely decent people
cross this bridge, too.
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Do you think we're all
street peddlers in our family?
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You're an aristocrat, old thing,
the son of a fisherman.
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A mashrabiyah wooden house.
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A warm north wind fills the net curtains.
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The house is silent.
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A car screeches
round a bend somewhere.
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The streets are deserted.
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It's siesta time.
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Between the blackened houses,
most with overhanging windows,
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crawls the narrow, winding road.
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Alone, such silence, such loneliness.
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We go up to the first floor.
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I can't get over how clean
the couches are, with their linen covers.
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The floor, as pure as resin from
being swept, washed and polished,
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is still damp.
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It smells of soap, a heavenly smell
of lavender and wet pinewood.
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I had yet to learn that there was a job
that consisted of suspecting everyone,
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even without good reason.
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It must be so sad
to feel foreign somewhere.
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It hasn't happened to me.
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But at Uskudar,
in the houses on the seafront,
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there used to be a gardener,
an Albanian,
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who had lived in Istanbul
for God knows how many years.
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"It's a beautiful country,"
he would say.
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"May God keep it for you,
but I'm just a migrant here."
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"I'm afraid of dying
without seeing my homeland again."
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Master Galip is famous
for the strange things he thinks about.
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"If only I could eat wafers every day,"
he thought at the age of five.
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"If only I could go to school,"
he thought at the age of ten.
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"If only I could leave my old man's
cutlery shop before evening prayers,"
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he thought at the age of eleven.
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"If only I had yellow shoes,
if only the girls would look at me,"
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he thought at the age of fifteen.
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"Why has my father shut up shop?
The factory is different to the shop,"
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he thought at the age of sixteen.
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"Are they going to give me a pay rise?"
He thought at the age of twenty.
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"My father died at the age of fifty.
Am I going to die that young, too?"
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He thought when he was twenty-one.
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"What if I can't get work?"
He thought at the age of twenty-two.
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"What if I can't get work?"
He thought at the age of twenty-three.
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"What if I can't get work?"
He thought at the age of twenty-four.
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He was often unemployed.
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Until the age of fifty, he thought,
"What if I can't find work?"
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At the age of fifty-one, he thought,
"I've grown old.
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"I've lived a year longer than my father."
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And now he's fifty-two years old.
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He's unemployed.
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Now he gets the strangest idea of all
into his head.
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"How old will I be when I die?
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"Will I have a roof over my head
when I'm dying?"6861
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