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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 0 00:00:22,055 --> 00:00:25,388 Yes, I'm smiling. It's a good day. 1 00:00:25,492 --> 00:00:28,256 It's Sunday. And it's Bernie Mac day. 2 00:00:28,361 --> 00:00:31,660 And every kid in this house knows Bernie Mac day. 3 00:00:31,765 --> 00:00:35,166 And that means you can't look at me, you can't touch me... 4 00:00:35,268 --> 00:00:39,102 you can't talk to me and you better not breathe around me. 5 00:00:39,205 --> 00:00:41,571 Uncle Bernie, Jordan won't... 6 00:00:41,674 --> 00:00:44,541 Oops, I forgot. It's Bernie Mac's day. 7 00:00:45,578 --> 00:00:47,478 Bernie Mac's day. 8 00:00:47,580 --> 00:00:51,710 ? Bernie, Bernie? 9 00:00:51,818 --> 00:00:54,252 ? Bernie Mac, whoa?? 10 00:00:54,354 --> 00:00:56,254 Now hold on. Let me tell you something. 11 00:00:56,356 --> 00:00:58,790 I give them kids six days out of the week. 12 00:00:58,892 --> 00:01:01,725 It's only fair that I have one. 13 00:01:01,828 --> 00:01:04,729 Now, the Lord even said we should rest on the seventh. 14 00:01:04,831 --> 00:01:07,493 Now, I'm not saying I'm the Lord... 15 00:01:07,600 --> 00:01:10,626 but I will put forth a mighty vengeance... 16 00:01:10,737 --> 00:01:12,637 if I'm disobeyed. 17 00:01:12,739 --> 00:01:14,639 ? Boom, boom, boom Bernie Mac day? 18 00:01:14,741 --> 00:01:16,265 ? Boom, boom, boom Bernie Mac day? 19 00:01:16,376 --> 00:01:18,276 ? Boom, boom, boom Bernie Mac day? 20 00:01:18,378 --> 00:01:20,278 I love mac and cheese. 21 00:01:20,380 --> 00:01:22,780 You got what you wanted, son. 22 00:01:22,882 --> 00:01:25,112 What's that? What's that? 23 00:01:26,553 --> 00:01:28,919 My Bernie Mac day cereal. 24 00:01:29,022 --> 00:01:30,922 Okay. That you picked out. 25 00:01:31,024 --> 00:01:34,323 ? Bernie Mac day Bernie Mac day? 26 00:01:34,427 --> 00:01:36,952 ? Bernie Mac day? [Growls] ? Bernie Mac day?? 27 00:01:37,063 --> 00:01:39,588 That's the way it works. It's tradition. 28 00:01:39,699 --> 00:01:43,897 On every Bernie Mac day eve, I let them pick out whatever they want. 29 00:01:44,003 --> 00:01:47,666 From cereal, sugar, toys, cookies, ice cream. 30 00:01:47,774 --> 00:01:49,674 I got 'em push-ups, roll-ups. 31 00:01:49,776 --> 00:01:51,869 I don't care if they throw up. 32 00:01:51,978 --> 00:01:54,640 Just don't bother me on Bernie Mac day. 33 00:01:54,747 --> 00:01:58,808 [Male Announcer On TV] He said he still has some bad blood that he wants to settle. 34 00:01:58,918 --> 00:02:02,445 [Toilet Flushes] 35 00:02:02,555 --> 00:02:04,785 [Toilet Flushes] 36 00:02:04,891 --> 00:02:06,950 Stop playing with that toilet. 37 00:02:07,060 --> 00:02:09,324 That toilet is not made for playing. 38 00:02:09,429 --> 00:02:11,624 Help me. Help me. 39 00:02:11,731 --> 00:02:15,462 Commence... underwater... 40 00:02:15,568 --> 00:02:17,502 rescue! 41 00:02:17,604 --> 00:02:19,504 Aw, come on. Come on! 42 00:02:19,606 --> 00:02:21,506 Where you going, baby girl? 43 00:02:21,608 --> 00:02:23,576 Nessa, I know you hear me. Where you going? 44 00:02:23,676 --> 00:02:26,804 I can't talk to you. It's Bernie Mac day. 45 00:02:26,913 --> 00:02:29,404 You can't initiate conversation. 46 00:02:29,516 --> 00:02:32,280 But you can answer a direct question. 47 00:02:32,385 --> 00:02:36,321 Addendum to the rule. Article nine, subsection "C." 48 00:02:36,422 --> 00:02:38,686 Let's try it again now, baby. Where you going? 49 00:02:38,791 --> 00:02:41,624 - Michelle's. - Michelle? 50 00:02:41,728 --> 00:02:45,027 - I thought you said she moved out of town. - All right. Fine. Paula's. 51 00:02:49,102 --> 00:02:52,697 [Scoffs] You just gonna sit there and tell me a lie like that, right? 52 00:02:52,805 --> 00:02:54,830 A bold-faced lie like that, huh, Nessa? 53 00:02:54,941 --> 00:02:57,569 If you don't want me to lie, don't talk to me. 54 00:02:57,677 --> 00:02:59,577 You know what? Let me tell you something. 55 00:02:59,679 --> 00:03:02,739 If I'd have ever talked to Big Mama the way you talk to me... 56 00:03:02,849 --> 00:03:04,908 she'd have knocked me up to kingdom come. 57 00:03:05,018 --> 00:03:07,748 Kingdom come? Is that near child services? 58 00:03:07,854 --> 00:03:12,291 - God! I don't know what to say. - [Water Running] 59 00:03:12,392 --> 00:03:14,121 Major malfunction. 60 00:03:16,062 --> 00:03:18,189 I told y'�ll about playing with that doggone toilet. 61 00:03:18,298 --> 00:03:20,858 [Screaming] 62 00:03:24,204 --> 00:03:27,537 S-Stay right there. We're not done. We're not done. 63 00:03:32,078 --> 00:03:34,137 - Boy, you begged me for those army men. - [Laughing] 64 00:03:34,247 --> 00:03:36,306 Ha-heh. 65 00:03:36,416 --> 00:03:40,580 And you got all that hair in there. Ruined my Bernie Mac day. 66 00:03:40,687 --> 00:03:43,417 [Wanda] Bernie, don't you think you're being a little dramatic? 67 00:03:43,523 --> 00:03:48,085 Nope. They lie. They don't know right from wrong, Wanda. 68 00:03:48,194 --> 00:03:50,321 - They're heathens. - They're kids. 69 00:03:50,430 --> 00:03:52,898 - [Fast Knocking] - We're busy. 70 00:03:56,669 --> 00:04:00,105 - Did you hear what I said? - Can I have my army men back? 71 00:04:00,206 --> 00:04:03,073 You just not listening. Didn't I tell you to get out? 72 00:04:03,176 --> 00:04:05,508 You see that? Y-You see what I'm talking about? 73 00:04:05,612 --> 00:04:07,512 - [Door Shuts] - You see what I'm talking about. 74 00:04:07,614 --> 00:04:11,345 They couldn't have got away with that when Big Mama was around. You can't tell me that. 75 00:04:11,451 --> 00:04:13,612 - Right. You're right. - Man, baby, let me tell you something. 76 00:04:13,720 --> 00:04:16,484 Big Mama had two things that kept us in line. 77 00:04:16,589 --> 00:04:19,183 That was church and whuppings. 78 00:04:19,292 --> 00:04:22,921 - Church and whuppings. - Well, you can't whup those kids. 79 00:04:23,029 --> 00:04:25,463 It's just been a bad Bernie Mac day all the way around. 80 00:04:26,566 --> 00:04:28,466 Your Aunt Wanda and I have decided... 81 00:04:28,568 --> 00:04:31,628 that you kids need to get churched. 82 00:04:31,738 --> 00:04:35,765 - Churched? - Is that like a whuppin'? 83 00:04:35,875 --> 00:04:38,537 No, it's like bad English. 84 00:04:38,645 --> 00:04:42,479 Now, see? Like that. Talking back. 85 00:04:42,582 --> 00:04:45,142 You don't see nothing wrong with that. 86 00:04:45,251 --> 00:04:47,981 See, you kids gotta learn. 87 00:04:48,087 --> 00:04:50,453 Y'�ll gotta get the fear of God in you! 88 00:04:51,624 --> 00:04:55,651 Honor thy mother and thy father... figure. 89 00:04:55,762 --> 00:04:58,560 So next Sunday... [Chuckles] 90 00:04:58,665 --> 00:05:01,998 We're all gonna spend it in church. 91 00:05:02,101 --> 00:05:04,331 But what about Bernie Mac day? 92 00:05:04,437 --> 00:05:08,305 - We'll spend it in church. - Don't the Bears play the Raiders next Sunday? 93 00:05:09,575 --> 00:05:11,475 - You sure? - Mm-hmm. 94 00:05:11,577 --> 00:05:14,137 - I thought they had a bye. - Uh, no. 95 00:05:14,247 --> 00:05:16,875 You must be thinking of the Vikings. They have a bye next week. 96 00:05:20,820 --> 00:05:23,584 Well, they just gonna have to play without us. 97 00:05:23,690 --> 00:05:28,252 'Cause next Sunday, we're gonna give our day to the Lord. 98 00:05:28,361 --> 00:05:31,387 We're going to church. Church! 99 00:05:32,799 --> 00:05:35,199 Holy! Holy, I said. 100 00:05:37,470 --> 00:05:40,064 ? Send it on down Send it on down? 101 00:05:40,173 --> 00:05:42,903 ? Lord, let the Holy Ghost come on down? 102 00:05:43,009 --> 00:05:46,240 ? Lord, send it on down Send it on down? 103 00:05:46,346 --> 00:05:49,406 Come on, now. Come on. Come on. 104 00:05:49,515 --> 00:05:52,507 Come on, baby. Baby, come on. 105 00:05:52,618 --> 00:05:54,518 Stand up. Come on, now. 106 00:05:54,620 --> 00:05:56,781 Stand up, baby. 107 00:05:56,889 --> 00:05:59,050 Ain't this nice? This is real nice. 108 00:05:59,158 --> 00:06:01,285 - Uncle Bernie? - Shh! No talking in church. 109 00:06:01,394 --> 00:06:04,454 - What if I have to use the bathroom? - You can hold it for an hour. 110 00:06:04,564 --> 00:06:06,191 A whole hour? 111 00:06:06,299 --> 00:06:08,790 You mean to tell me you can't hold your urine for God? 112 00:06:08,901 --> 00:06:10,801 Do it for the Lord, Jordan. 113 00:06:10,903 --> 00:06:13,098 All right. 114 00:06:13,206 --> 00:06:15,970 - Good boy. Good. - ?? [Ends] 115 00:06:16,075 --> 00:06:17,975 - Come on. Sit down. - [Cheering] 116 00:06:19,679 --> 00:06:22,671 - ?? [Organ] - Get up. Get up. Get up. 117 00:06:25,418 --> 00:06:28,979 ? I love to praise him? 118 00:06:29,088 --> 00:06:30,988 ? I love to praise his name?? 119 00:06:31,090 --> 00:06:33,991 ?? [Ends] 120 00:06:38,631 --> 00:06:41,065 Sit down. 121 00:06:41,167 --> 00:06:44,034 ?? [Organ] 122 00:06:44,137 --> 00:06:46,264 Get up. Get up. Get up. Get up. 123 00:06:50,276 --> 00:06:53,939 ? Yes, it is Yes, it is?? 124 00:06:58,050 --> 00:07:00,041 Stand back up. Stand back up. 125 00:07:00,153 --> 00:07:02,053 Baby, stand back up. 126 00:07:08,961 --> 00:07:11,259 And you're visiting us from where? 127 00:07:11,364 --> 00:07:13,594 Church of the Lord in, uh, Tyler, Texas... 128 00:07:13,699 --> 00:07:15,690 where the Reverend Joe McQueen presides. 129 00:07:15,802 --> 00:07:18,771 - Praise God. - Praise God. 130 00:07:18,871 --> 00:07:21,897 - Welcome to First Faithful. - Thank you. 131 00:07:22,008 --> 00:07:23,999 [Chattering] 132 00:07:24,110 --> 00:07:26,442 - Alleluia. - Glory be to God. 133 00:07:26,546 --> 00:07:28,446 Are there any other visitors? 134 00:07:28,548 --> 00:07:31,415 - [Bryana] We're visitors! - [Murmuring] 135 00:07:31,517 --> 00:07:33,747 Uh, yes, uh... 136 00:07:33,853 --> 00:07:36,083 First, I'd like to say, uh, giving honor... 137 00:07:36,189 --> 00:07:39,920 to God, Bishop, members and friends. 138 00:07:40,026 --> 00:07:43,723 Uh, my name is Bernie Mac and this is my lovely wife, Wanda... 139 00:07:43,830 --> 00:07:45,889 and we're taking care of my sister's kids. 140 00:07:45,998 --> 00:07:50,697 And my wife and I have decided that we want to try to get the fear of... 141 00:07:50,803 --> 00:07:53,601 I mean, the love of God... 142 00:07:53,706 --> 00:07:54,695 - Amen. - Amen. 143 00:07:54,807 --> 00:07:56,707 Into these children. 144 00:07:56,809 --> 00:07:59,300 Because every child need the Lord. 145 00:07:59,412 --> 00:08:01,471 [Congregation Affirming] 146 00:08:01,581 --> 00:08:03,549 Did I say it right? [Laughs] 147 00:08:03,649 --> 00:08:05,549 - Well, Mr. Mac. - Yes, sir. 148 00:08:05,651 --> 00:08:08,882 - Everyone needs the Lord. - Needs the Lord! 149 00:08:08,988 --> 00:08:11,821 He's one of the original kings. 150 00:08:11,924 --> 00:08:14,893 Oh, the original kings? 151 00:08:14,994 --> 00:08:17,394 Well, that's a mighty high claim, Your Majesty. 152 00:08:17,497 --> 00:08:21,456 It's just a name, Bishop, to sell tickets. That's all it is. 153 00:08:21,567 --> 00:08:24,536 Oh, did you sell a lot of tickets? 154 00:08:24,637 --> 00:08:27,162 - Yes, sir. - Praise God. 155 00:08:27,273 --> 00:08:30,674 And so you had a big audience? Thousands of people? 156 00:08:30,776 --> 00:08:33,574 Would you call that a multitude? 157 00:08:35,281 --> 00:08:37,579 No, sir, Bishop. I wouldn't call it a multitude. 158 00:08:37,683 --> 00:08:40,618 But, uh, we was all up in there. [Laughs] 159 00:08:40,720 --> 00:08:44,247 Yeah! And while you "was all up in there," 160 00:08:44,357 --> 00:08:48,521 did you feed that multitude with two fish and five loaves of bread? 161 00:08:48,628 --> 00:08:50,994 - I don't think so! - [Cheering] 162 00:08:51,097 --> 00:08:53,622 You see, there's only one original king. And his name is what? 163 00:08:53,733 --> 00:08:55,701 - Jesus. - Tell him! 164 00:08:55,801 --> 00:08:57,632 Jesus! 165 00:08:57,737 --> 00:09:00,570 Welcome to First Faithful. 166 00:09:00,673 --> 00:09:03,403 [Cheering] 167 00:09:07,980 --> 00:09:12,644 The ushers will now lead the children under five to the assembly hall. 168 00:09:12,752 --> 00:09:15,152 [Children] I don't wanna go. 169 00:09:15,254 --> 00:09:17,154 Hey! What's going on? 170 00:09:17,256 --> 00:09:19,952 Oh, we always do this about halfway through the service. 171 00:09:20,059 --> 00:09:21,458 - Halfway? - Halfway? 172 00:09:21,561 --> 00:09:23,688 Take me with you, baby girl. Baby girl. 173 00:09:23,796 --> 00:09:26,128 - Uncle Bernie. Let go. - Bernie Mac. 174 00:09:26,232 --> 00:09:28,757 Ouch! Why you give me that Big Mama pinch for? 175 00:09:28,868 --> 00:09:30,961 'Cause you are acting like a fool up in here. 176 00:09:31,070 --> 00:09:33,630 It's taking too doggone long. 177 00:09:33,739 --> 00:09:36,503 Black churches, make up your mind! I gotta get outta here. 178 00:09:36,609 --> 00:09:39,373 - [Bishop] Verses one and two. - [Clears Throat] 179 00:09:39,478 --> 00:09:41,878 Nessa, I left my Bible in the car. 180 00:09:41,981 --> 00:09:44,142 Let me slide by you right quick. Excuse me. 181 00:09:44,250 --> 00:09:46,343 Oh, I'll get it. I'll get it. It's cool. 182 00:09:46,452 --> 00:09:48,852 Here you go. 183 00:09:48,955 --> 00:09:51,116 It is good to proclaim. 184 00:09:51,223 --> 00:09:54,989 - What make you so helpful today? - I'm filled with the Holy Ghost. 185 00:10:00,166 --> 00:10:03,966 Forgive me, Big Mama... heh... for what I'm about to do. 186 00:10:04,070 --> 00:10:07,597 Heh. I'm about to bust a move! 187 00:10:07,707 --> 00:10:09,641 - Bop. - [Pops] - Pshew! 188 00:10:09,742 --> 00:10:12,575 Gone. Split. See ya. [Chuckles] 189 00:10:12,678 --> 00:10:14,578 Wet yourself. Wet yourself. 190 00:10:14,680 --> 00:10:17,342 What are you talking about, Uncle Bernie? 191 00:10:17,450 --> 00:10:20,681 I want you to use the gift God gave you. Start wheezing and coughing. 192 00:10:20,786 --> 00:10:23,516 - You know that you can do it. - Is there a problem? 193 00:10:23,623 --> 00:10:25,853 Yes, sir. My nephew, he has to use the bathroom. 194 00:10:25,958 --> 00:10:28,188 - I don't wanna interrupt the service so... - Not a problem. 195 00:10:28,294 --> 00:10:30,262 - I'll take him. - No, no. I'll take him. 196 00:10:30,363 --> 00:10:33,127 No, no. You just stay there and enjoy the Word. 197 00:10:33,232 --> 00:10:36,759 - Stop it, Bernie Mac. You are making a spectacle of yourself. - I'm not making... 198 00:10:36,869 --> 00:10:38,928 You are. We will be home soon. 199 00:10:39,038 --> 00:10:40,938 When is soon, baby? I gotta get outta here. 200 00:10:41,040 --> 00:10:44,032 I can't take it. I'm sorry, Big Mama. I gotta get out of here. 201 00:10:44,143 --> 00:10:47,203 - Why didn't you just leave with Vanessa? - What, Vanes... 202 00:10:48,881 --> 00:10:52,146 - Why she didn't take me with her? - You know she don't like you. 203 00:10:52,251 --> 00:10:55,084 She acts like she hate me. I could've left her with my sister. I took... 204 00:10:55,187 --> 00:10:57,451 Shh. 205 00:10:59,025 --> 00:11:02,984 Cut it out. Just listen to the preacher. 206 00:11:03,095 --> 00:11:04,995 Acting worse than the kids. 207 00:11:05,097 --> 00:11:08,157 - [Rustling] - Shh! 208 00:11:08,267 --> 00:11:11,100 [Snoring] 209 00:11:18,110 --> 00:11:20,874 [Snorts] 210 00:11:20,980 --> 00:11:22,880 [Sneezes] 211 00:11:23,983 --> 00:11:26,008 [Bishop Continues, Indistinct] 212 00:11:26,118 --> 00:11:28,382 [Snoring] 213 00:11:28,487 --> 00:11:30,751 Bernie. Bernie Mac, wake up. 214 00:11:30,856 --> 00:11:32,756 You fell asleep. You're missing everything. 215 00:11:32,858 --> 00:11:35,326 Come on, now, brothers and sisters. 216 00:11:35,428 --> 00:11:38,625 All I need is just one more soul to save today! 217 00:11:38,731 --> 00:11:41,325 And then we can all go home. 218 00:11:41,434 --> 00:11:43,368 - [Woman] Thank you, Lord. - [Woman]Just one. 219 00:11:43,469 --> 00:11:45,767 He said if he save one more soul we can go home? 220 00:11:45,871 --> 00:11:48,772 - Mm-hmm. - Just one? 221 00:11:48,874 --> 00:11:51,365 Yes! Yes! 222 00:11:51,477 --> 00:11:55,243 - [Cheering] - Praise God! Praise God! 223 00:11:55,347 --> 00:11:58,839 Alleluia! I'm saved, Wanda! 224 00:11:58,951 --> 00:12:01,715 I'm saved. I'm saved. I'm saved. 225 00:12:01,821 --> 00:12:04,289 - Yes! - Yes. 226 00:12:04,390 --> 00:12:06,324 - Oh, it's a wonderful day. - Isn't it? 227 00:12:06,425 --> 00:12:08,950 Thank you, Jesus. 228 00:12:09,061 --> 00:12:11,928 Well, that's our service for today. 229 00:12:12,031 --> 00:12:13,965 You all will follow me in a minute. 230 00:12:14,066 --> 00:12:17,331 New member orientation shouldn't take more than a few hours. 231 00:12:17,436 --> 00:12:21,566 But I'm feeling the Spirit today so don't hold me to it. Amen. 232 00:12:25,111 --> 00:12:28,808 And for the rest of you, I'll see you next week. Have a blessed one. 233 00:12:28,914 --> 00:12:30,939 Yes, sir. Yes, sir. 234 00:12:31,050 --> 00:12:33,382 God bless you. 235 00:12:33,486 --> 00:12:35,954 Welcome. Welcome to the church. 236 00:12:36,055 --> 00:12:38,046 God bless you. 237 00:12:42,094 --> 00:12:44,255 Handle that. Huh? 238 00:12:44,363 --> 00:12:46,661 The Lord giveth and Bernie Mac taketh. 239 00:12:46,766 --> 00:12:49,530 - Oh, man. Bernie win everything. - [Doorbell Rings] 240 00:12:49,635 --> 00:12:53,071 God must be letting you win. That's the only way he can get you back in church. 241 00:12:53,172 --> 00:12:55,470 [Laughing] 242 00:12:55,574 --> 00:12:59,943 I ain't never going back in that church. I don't care if Moses's speaking. 243 00:13:00,045 --> 00:13:02,240 I ain't never... That was the most boring church... 244 00:13:02,348 --> 00:13:04,248 - Uncle Bernie. - Uncle Bernie. 245 00:13:04,350 --> 00:13:06,682 Yeah, baby... Bishop, Bishop. 246 00:13:06,786 --> 00:13:09,084 Hey, Brother Bernie. How you doing? 247 00:13:09,188 --> 00:13:11,247 I'm, uh... 248 00:13:11,357 --> 00:13:14,258 Well, this is Deacon Willis. And we just wanted to stop by... 249 00:13:14,360 --> 00:13:18,592 - and personally welcome you to the First Faithful family. - First Faithful family. 250 00:13:18,697 --> 00:13:22,224 Now, if this is not a good time, we can always come back. 251 00:13:22,334 --> 00:13:25,428 Oh, no, no, no. No, no, no. Y'all-Y'all are family. Come on in. 252 00:13:25,538 --> 00:13:27,665 - Oh, well, God bless you. - Amen. 253 00:13:27,773 --> 00:13:31,265 - Amen. - Uh, here. 254 00:13:31,377 --> 00:13:34,574 I kind of missed last Sunday. [Laughs] 255 00:13:37,449 --> 00:13:42,614 And, uh, a couple Sundays before that. [Laughs] 256 00:13:42,721 --> 00:13:45,246 Amen, brother. 257 00:13:45,357 --> 00:13:47,655 In Jesus' name. 258 00:13:47,760 --> 00:13:50,251 - Why don't y'�ll pull up a seat? - Uh, yeah, yeah. 259 00:13:50,362 --> 00:13:54,196 Well, no. We really gotta go, but, uh... Well, if you insist. 260 00:13:54,300 --> 00:13:56,825 Yeah, yeah. Sit down. Bernie don't mind. Right? 261 00:13:58,637 --> 00:14:00,901 I guess not. Let me, uh, put my cigar out. 262 00:14:01,006 --> 00:14:04,737 Oh, no, no. No, you go on and enjoy your cigar. 263 00:14:04,844 --> 00:14:08,405 - See, God wants us to have pleasures. - Amen. 264 00:14:08,514 --> 00:14:10,641 Lord, bless him. 265 00:14:10,749 --> 00:14:16,051 - And relieve him of that evil tobacco demon. - Evil demon! 266 00:14:16,155 --> 00:14:18,282 - Amen. - Amen. 267 00:14:18,390 --> 00:14:21,655 - Amen. - Amen. - Amen. 268 00:14:22,761 --> 00:14:25,662 [Exhales] 269 00:14:25,764 --> 00:14:27,857 [Clears Throat] 270 00:14:31,503 --> 00:14:34,472 Well, you, uh... 271 00:14:34,573 --> 00:14:36,803 mind if we join you? 272 00:14:36,909 --> 00:14:38,843 Well, uh, we playing poker. 273 00:14:38,944 --> 00:14:42,107 - Mm. - Well, we know how to play poker. 274 00:14:42,214 --> 00:14:45,980 - Just 'cause we men of the cloth, don't mean that we ain't men. - Still men! 275 00:14:46,085 --> 00:14:48,713 - Still men. - Join in, dog. 276 00:14:48,821 --> 00:14:50,846 Hey, all right. 277 00:14:50,956 --> 00:14:55,017 Now, y'�ll-y'�ll-y'�ll ain't -ain't -ain't playing for money, are you? 278 00:14:55,127 --> 00:14:58,324 Uh, a little pocket change. That's all. 279 00:14:58,430 --> 00:15:00,990 Mm, mm, mm. 280 00:15:01,100 --> 00:15:03,591 Mm, mm, mm. 281 00:15:03,702 --> 00:15:07,263 - Well, I'm not here to judge what you did before. - Amen. 282 00:15:07,373 --> 00:15:10,968 - But the rest of this night, why don't we just move... - Bishop, Bishop, Bishop. 283 00:15:11,076 --> 00:15:14,170 These chips aside and play for the glory of the Lord. 284 00:15:14,280 --> 00:15:16,180 Glory of the Lord. 285 00:15:16,282 --> 00:15:20,343 - Glory of the Lord. Amen! - [Laughing] 286 00:15:20,452 --> 00:15:22,613 [Chattering] 287 00:15:26,525 --> 00:15:28,789 [Phone Ringing] 288 00:15:28,894 --> 00:15:30,794 - [Phone Beeps] - [Bernie] Hello? 289 00:15:30,896 --> 00:15:35,697 No, Bishop, I won't be able to cut the homeless hair this morning. I'm sorry. 290 00:15:35,801 --> 00:15:38,793 What they need a haircut for anyway? They're homeless. 291 00:15:38,904 --> 00:15:41,964 If I cut their hair, they'll lose their strength. 292 00:15:42,074 --> 00:15:45,669 - What? - B... 293 00:15:45,778 --> 00:15:49,077 You really getting on my nerve, in the name of the Lord. You really are. 294 00:15:49,181 --> 00:15:51,206 Look, Bishop, I gotta take a leak. 295 00:15:51,317 --> 00:15:55,083 - What? - As-salaam alaikum. I mean, praise the Lord. 296 00:15:55,187 --> 00:15:58,156 These people just don't leave you alone. 297 00:15:58,257 --> 00:16:00,851 I thought church ended on Sunday. 298 00:16:00,960 --> 00:16:03,895 They got it leaking through the rest of the week. 299 00:16:03,996 --> 00:16:05,896 Don't get me wrong. 300 00:16:05,998 --> 00:16:11,129 There's nothing I'd rather have than a long-term commitment with the Lord at any church. 301 00:16:11,236 --> 00:16:15,036 But this church? I'd rather have a one-night stand. 302 00:16:15,140 --> 00:16:19,634 Now understand something. I know the Lord got soldiers working for him... 303 00:16:19,745 --> 00:16:23,772 but for some reason, I feel like they just attacking me. 304 00:16:27,553 --> 00:16:29,521 Excuse me. 305 00:16:32,658 --> 00:16:34,558 - Bernie Mac. - Yes. 306 00:16:34,660 --> 00:16:37,356 - We saw you get saved at First Faithful. - Alleluia. 307 00:16:37,463 --> 00:16:41,365 - Yeah. We're sure proud of you. You're sure enough blessed. - Thank you. 308 00:16:41,467 --> 00:16:44,994 - We're hoping the Lord will bless us with a car one day. - Amen. 309 00:16:45,104 --> 00:16:47,163 - He will. - Pray for us. 310 00:16:47,272 --> 00:16:50,139 - For sure. - Doesn't have to be as nice as this though. 311 00:16:50,242 --> 00:16:53,507 - Long as it's nice, huh? - Yeah. 312 00:16:53,612 --> 00:16:56,513 - I'm sure you're right. - Could she just get a bit of air-conditioning? 313 00:16:56,615 --> 00:16:58,674 You never know when that bus is gonna come. 314 00:16:58,784 --> 00:17:01,810 Yes, ma'�m. Let me turn it on max for you, okay? 315 00:17:01,920 --> 00:17:04,514 - How's that? - [Sighs] 316 00:17:04,623 --> 00:17:08,184 Uh, listen, how far are you all going? 317 00:17:08,293 --> 00:17:11,820 - God will bless you real good, Bernie Mac. - Get in. 318 00:17:11,930 --> 00:17:13,830 - Thank you. - Thank you. 319 00:17:13,932 --> 00:17:15,832 I just... 320 00:17:17,636 --> 00:17:20,332 [Doorbell Rings] 321 00:17:20,439 --> 00:17:21,872 Nessa, Nessa, Nessa, Nessa. 322 00:17:21,974 --> 00:17:23,874 - Don't answer the door. - Why? 323 00:17:23,976 --> 00:17:26,672 - It's the bishop. - [Willis] The bishop. 324 00:17:26,779 --> 00:17:29,009 That's why. Look here. I'm going to the den. 325 00:17:29,114 --> 00:17:31,014 Tell them I'm busy. Okay? 326 00:17:31,116 --> 00:17:34,745 - You want me to lie? - No, I don't want you to lie. Just tell them I'm not in. 327 00:17:34,853 --> 00:17:36,718 So, you're hiding? 328 00:17:36,822 --> 00:17:39,655 Ain't nobody hiding. Every time I ask you to do something, you can't do it. 329 00:17:39,758 --> 00:17:41,919 You act like I'm a cell mate. I'm your blood. 330 00:17:42,027 --> 00:17:45,724 - Just do it. - Okay, but... 331 00:17:45,831 --> 00:17:47,731 what would Jesus do? 332 00:17:47,833 --> 00:17:50,859 Jesus ain't got nothing to do with this. Go to your room, Nessa. 333 00:17:50,969 --> 00:17:53,529 [Doorbell Rings] 334 00:17:53,639 --> 00:17:55,834 Always gotta bring the Lord in it. 335 00:17:59,144 --> 00:18:01,135 - Hey. - Brother Bernie. 336 00:18:01,246 --> 00:18:03,908 - Bishop, Bishop, Bishop. - Yes, sir. 337 00:18:04,016 --> 00:18:06,109 - Brother Bernie. - Deac. 338 00:18:06,218 --> 00:18:08,209 How ya doing? 339 00:18:09,488 --> 00:18:12,582 - Y'�ll bring the choir with you? - [Laughing] 340 00:18:13,692 --> 00:18:16,593 So, uh, how you all doing? 341 00:18:16,695 --> 00:18:19,755 - Wonderful. - Just fine. Just fine. 342 00:18:19,865 --> 00:18:22,959 Listen. Forgive us for intruding like this... 343 00:18:23,068 --> 00:18:27,630 but the last time we was here, we couldn't help but notice how much... 344 00:18:27,739 --> 00:18:30,105 space you've got. 345 00:18:30,209 --> 00:18:34,043 - God has blessed you with a beautiful home. - Beautiful home. 346 00:18:34,146 --> 00:18:38,242 [Chuckles] Well, uh, also, I've saved my money, Bishop... 347 00:18:38,350 --> 00:18:41,251 and I've worked hard over the last past year or so. 348 00:18:41,353 --> 00:18:45,585 - That goes without saying. - Well, I just thought I'd say it anyway. 349 00:18:45,691 --> 00:18:47,852 [Chuckling] 350 00:18:47,960 --> 00:18:50,019 - Brother Mac. - Yeah? 351 00:18:50,129 --> 00:18:53,792 We felt that, uh, since you have all these blessings... 352 00:18:53,899 --> 00:18:57,027 that the best way for a baby Christian like yourself... 353 00:18:57,136 --> 00:18:59,502 to evolve into the fold... 354 00:18:59,605 --> 00:19:05,134 is to invite the fold to your house on Thursday night for Bible study... 355 00:19:05,244 --> 00:19:08,111 which used to be your poker night. 356 00:19:08,213 --> 00:19:10,272 - Used to be. - Amen. 357 00:19:10,382 --> 00:19:12,111 Amen. 358 00:19:12,217 --> 00:19:14,685 Mm-mmm. I'm sorry. 359 00:19:14,786 --> 00:19:16,720 What am I supposed to do? 360 00:19:16,822 --> 00:19:18,949 Y'�ll see this relationship ain't working for me. 361 00:19:19,057 --> 00:19:21,787 If I wait too long, stuff s gonna get messy... 362 00:19:21,894 --> 00:19:24,294 feelings are gonna get hurt, might be name-calling. 363 00:19:24,396 --> 00:19:26,728 No, uh-uh. That's it. 364 00:19:26,832 --> 00:19:29,824 Only thing... clean break. 365 00:19:29,935 --> 00:19:33,462 You smothering me. Smothering me. 366 00:19:34,773 --> 00:19:38,709 But I-I thought everything was-was going so well. 367 00:19:38,810 --> 00:19:41,142 Uh, is it another church? 368 00:19:41,246 --> 00:19:42,975 Lord. 369 00:19:45,584 --> 00:19:48,280 - I didn't want to say it in front of the children. - Mm. 370 00:19:48,387 --> 00:19:50,651 - No. - Yeah. 371 00:19:50,756 --> 00:19:54,624 It's okay. It's okay. 372 00:19:54,726 --> 00:19:57,126 I just hope we can still see each other. 373 00:19:58,230 --> 00:20:01,825 A-As friends... in Christ. 374 00:20:07,072 --> 00:20:09,040 I'll call you. 375 00:20:15,214 --> 00:20:17,114 He ain't gonna call. 376 00:20:19,484 --> 00:20:23,420 ? Boom, boom, boom, Bernie Mac day Boom, boom, boom?? 377 00:20:28,060 --> 00:20:30,358 I'm ready for church, Uncle Bernie. 378 00:20:30,462 --> 00:20:33,829 Oh, baby girl, I forgot to tell you. 379 00:20:33,932 --> 00:20:35,832 We're not going to church today. 380 00:20:35,934 --> 00:20:39,028 But, Uncle Bernie, won't God be mad at us? 381 00:20:39,137 --> 00:20:41,662 Well, see, um... 382 00:20:41,773 --> 00:20:43,673 Look, um... 383 00:20:45,644 --> 00:20:49,444 I can't lie to you, baby. Church is too long for Uncle Bernie. 384 00:20:49,548 --> 00:20:53,245 But, Uncle Bernie, don't we love God? 385 00:20:56,888 --> 00:20:58,947 See, the thing is it's not about God. 386 00:20:59,057 --> 00:21:01,958 It's just, the service takes forever. 387 00:21:02,060 --> 00:21:07,191 You know, if I knew a church that had shorter time and go half that length... 388 00:21:07,299 --> 00:21:10,757 baby, I would take you to church right now. 389 00:21:10,869 --> 00:21:14,066 - Right now. - You know what? 390 00:21:14,172 --> 00:21:16,072 Catholic Mass is only one hour. 391 00:21:16,174 --> 00:21:18,267 - Really? - Really? 392 00:21:18,377 --> 00:21:21,073 I'll get the car keys. [Cackling] 393 00:21:23,982 --> 00:21:25,882 Go on. Get dressed. 394 00:21:25,984 --> 00:21:29,147 ?? [Choir.' Latin] 395 00:21:33,558 --> 00:21:35,458 - [Jordan Laughing] - ?? [Fades] 396 00:21:37,496 --> 00:21:39,896 Oh. Oh, baby. It wasn't that bad. 397 00:21:39,998 --> 00:21:42,125 Uncle Bernie, you were right. 398 00:21:42,234 --> 00:21:44,600 We learned so much in Sunday school. 399 00:21:46,271 --> 00:21:48,171 Oh, son. 400 00:21:48,273 --> 00:21:51,333 Uncle Bernie, I'm sorry I talked back to you. 401 00:21:53,011 --> 00:21:54,911 My ignorant child. 402 00:21:57,349 --> 00:21:59,909 Uncle Bernie, I love you. 403 00:22:00,018 --> 00:22:02,714 This is what it's all about. 404 00:22:02,821 --> 00:22:05,153 Bernie Mac... 405 00:22:05,257 --> 00:22:07,418 Bernie. Bernie Mac, wake up. 31496

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