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["California Dreamin'" by
The Mamas & The Papas playing]
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♪ All the leaves are brown ♪
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♪ All the leaves
are brown ♪
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♪ And the sky is gray ♪
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[over radio]: ♪ And the sky is gray ♪
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♪ I've been for a walk ♪
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♪ I've been
for a walk ♪
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♪ On a winter's day... ♪
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[message tone playing]
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♪ I'd be safe and warm ♪
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♪ If I was in L.A. ♪
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♪ If I was
in L.A. ♪
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♪ California dreamin'... ♪
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Sorry that I'm late, exclamation point.
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I should be there any second,
exclamation point.
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[phone chimes]
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♪ Stopped into a church ♪
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♪ I passed along the way ♪
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♪ Well, I got down on my knees ♪
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♪ Got down on my knees ♪
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♪ And I began to pray ♪
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♪ I began to pray ♪
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♪ You know the pr... ♪
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[music stops]
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[crickets chirping]
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Holy shit.
27
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I, um, I think I'm here.
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[phone chimes]
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[message tone playing]
30
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Take your time, smiley face.
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[phone chimes]
32
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P.S. How'd you get
your text tone on my phone?
33
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[phone chimes]
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[clicks tongue] Oh.
35
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Seriously?
36
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[bag thumps]
37
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- Uh, you mind me sitting up front?
38
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I'm gonna put my bag in the back.
39
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- Uh...
40
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- I mean, I can, I can go in the back
41
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if that's weird or whatever.
- No, no, no. No.
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It's-it's totally fine. [chuckles]
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[door opens]
[exhales]
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[door closes]
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I am Clare, your Orbit driver.
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[chuckles softly]
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- I am Carl E., your passenger.
48
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- [laughs]
- Hi.
49
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- Hi.
50
00:02:05,584 --> 00:02:06,585
- Oh, you want me to Waze LAX?
51
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- Oh, no, no, no. I-I can do that.
52
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Um...
53
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[phone chimes]
54
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It'll take 54 minutes.
55
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- You're not from L.A.
56
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- Uh... [chuckles]
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[engine starts]
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No, I'm... not, actually. [chuckles]
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You should probably put your seat belt on.
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- Well, where are you from?
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- I am from Wamego.
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Wamego, Kansas.
63
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I actually just moved here six days ago.
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- Oh, wow.
- Yeah.
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- Uh, you live with, uh, friends, family?
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Boyfriend? Girlfriend?
67
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- Mm, no, just-just, uh, me and my dog.
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I don't know anyone.
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I don't know anyone in L.A.
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- Well, you know me.
- I mean...
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Well... [chuckles nervously]
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- Welcome to the city of lights
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or... dreams or delusions or whatever.
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- [laughs softly]
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- We're not in Kansas anymore, Toto.
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- [laughs awkwardly]
- [chuckles]
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- Well, I-- actually, the line is,
78
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"I don't believe
we're in Kansas anymore, Toto."
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I've-I've watched the movie,
like, a million times
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and, uh, Dorothy's actually from Wamego,
81
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so they have this museum for her and, uh,
82
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I-I would go a lot
and that's why I became a writer,
83
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or, um, I'm... trying to become a writer.
84
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- And that's why L.A.
85
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- Yeah.
86
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- But why now?
87
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- I don't know, I guess...
88
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I guess it was time.
89
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So I packed everything up
and drove 1,617 miles
90
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till I hit the ocean.
91
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I've always wanted to see the ocean.
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I've always wanted
to become a writer, too.
93
00:04:02,367 --> 00:04:06,121
- Well, nothing's ever lost, you know.
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Like time.
95
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It might feel like it is,
96
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like life might have passed you by.
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It hasn't.
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Um, you, uh...
99
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you have something right...
100
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- Oh, uh... [laughs]
101
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[both laughing]
102
00:04:27,601 --> 00:04:29,770
- Like, um, burger mustard?
103
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- Oh, yeah, it was a-a veggie burger.
104
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- Yeah, with v-vanilla shake
and curly fries?
105
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- No, actually not, I'm vegan.
106
00:04:38,946 --> 00:04:42,616
Um, but yeah. I-I was, um,
107
00:04:42,699 --> 00:04:45,035
I was running late,
so I didn't have time to,
108
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you know, sit down and, um,
109
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eat.
110
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- Well, let's make time.
111
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Fuck my flight, I can get another flight.
112
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Right now all I want is to get a burger
and to get to know you.
113
00:04:56,088 --> 00:04:58,340
- Um, yeah, okay.
114
00:04:58,423 --> 00:04:59,758
- I'm serious.
115
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This here-- Clare, Carl E.
116
00:05:03,512 --> 00:05:05,639
I mean, our names are anagrams!
117
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- [laughs]
118
00:05:08,642 --> 00:05:12,062
- I know that we were meant
to meet tonight.
119
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Not to be stalker-y.
120
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- No, um, you're not.
121
00:05:19,194 --> 00:05:21,613
- Well, I kind of am, but...
122
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fuck it, I'm an open book.
Ask me anything.
123
00:05:24,658 --> 00:05:27,327
- Are you famous? [laughs softly]
124
00:05:27,411 --> 00:05:29,746
I mean, you don't have
to tell me if you are.
125
00:05:29,830 --> 00:05:31,999
- Why would you think that?
126
00:05:32,082 --> 00:05:34,960
- You live in a mansion
and you're-you're my age.
127
00:05:35,043 --> 00:05:36,753
- Oh, no, that's not my house.
128
00:05:36,837 --> 00:05:39,339
- Oh. Okay, do you,
do you live with your parents?
129
00:05:39,423 --> 00:05:42,134
- No.
130
00:05:42,217 --> 00:05:45,512
Actually, I have no idea who lives there.
131
00:05:46,555 --> 00:05:48,724
- What do you mean?
132
00:05:51,351 --> 00:05:56,565
- About 40, 45 minutes ago,
133
00:05:56,648 --> 00:05:58,984
a sharing economy driver,
much like yourself,
134
00:05:59,067 --> 00:06:02,529
dropped me off and I rang the bell.
135
00:06:02,613 --> 00:06:04,948
When the woman that lives there
opened the door,
136
00:06:05,032 --> 00:06:07,784
I shot her in the face.
137
00:06:11,205 --> 00:06:12,456
- That's-that's funny.
138
00:06:12,539 --> 00:06:15,459
- No, I'm not being funny.
139
00:06:15,542 --> 00:06:18,295
[suspenseful music plays]
140
00:06:18,378 --> 00:06:23,091
After I shot her, I went into the bedroom,
141
00:06:23,175 --> 00:06:26,345
where I found the husband
watching basketball.
142
00:06:28,347 --> 00:06:31,808
And I shot him in the back of the head.
143
00:06:31,892 --> 00:06:34,895
♪
144
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And then...
145
00:06:40,943 --> 00:06:44,571
I went looking for the children.
146
00:06:48,408 --> 00:06:52,454
Keep your eyes on the road, Clare.
147
00:06:52,538 --> 00:06:55,666
We don't want to have an accident.
148
00:06:55,749 --> 00:06:58,669
♪
149
00:06:58,752 --> 00:07:03,048
I found the little princesses
in the kitchen...
150
00:07:03,131 --> 00:07:07,135
crying, blubbering,
151
00:07:07,219 --> 00:07:10,264
snotting all over the linoleum.
152
00:07:10,347 --> 00:07:13,308
God, I hate that noise.
153
00:07:15,310 --> 00:07:19,147
I didn't want to waste any ammo
on that hot mess, so...
154
00:07:19,231 --> 00:07:23,110
I used my hunting knife instead.
155
00:07:26,363 --> 00:07:28,073
- [Clare panting]
156
00:07:28,156 --> 00:07:32,119
- Eeny, meeny, miny, moe.
157
00:07:32,202 --> 00:07:35,372
Catch a princess by its toe.
158
00:07:35,455 --> 00:07:37,499
If it hollers--
159
00:07:37,583 --> 00:07:42,838
which it did, a lot--
160
00:07:42,921 --> 00:07:45,883
cut its throat.
161
00:07:45,966 --> 00:07:50,554
Eeny, meeny, miny, moe.
162
00:07:50,637 --> 00:07:53,557
Want to guess which one of
the brats is in the duffel bag
163
00:07:53,640 --> 00:07:55,475
in the back?
164
00:07:58,270 --> 00:08:00,105
- [exhales]
165
00:08:00,189 --> 00:08:05,903
- Do you know what I really,
really, really want, Clare?
166
00:08:05,986 --> 00:08:08,405
A good old-fashioned story.
167
00:08:08,488 --> 00:08:11,033
You're a writer, you moved to La-La Land
168
00:08:11,116 --> 00:08:12,659
to prove that you're employable
169
00:08:12,743 --> 00:08:14,286
and not just some Kansas bumpkin
170
00:08:14,369 --> 00:08:16,205
who won her high school poetry contest,
171
00:08:16,288 --> 00:08:17,497
so here's the deal.
172
00:08:19,708 --> 00:08:22,503
If you tell me a really good story,
173
00:08:22,586 --> 00:08:25,422
then I will let you live.
174
00:08:25,506 --> 00:08:29,426
Does that sound good, Clare Scheherazade?
175
00:08:29,510 --> 00:08:32,054
I'll take that as a yes.
176
00:08:32,137 --> 00:08:33,263
Okay.
177
00:08:33,347 --> 00:08:35,641
As they say in the biz,
178
00:08:35,724 --> 00:08:38,852
roll sound.
179
00:08:38,936 --> 00:08:42,064
Roll camera.
180
00:08:42,147 --> 00:08:45,567
And... action.
12133
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