All language subtitles for JaneAustensMafia (1998)

Life's an enigma, a puzzle, a confusing
struggle between right and wrong...

good and evil, truth and deceit.

You could drive yourself crazy
trying to figure it out.

But I know one thing for sure:

You're just buying someone else's
headaches when you get a used car.

Stop that run! Stop that run!

Night and day

You are the one

Only you beneath the moon

Before I got myself blown up...

Anthony Cortino was one of the most
powerful men in Las Vegas.

I ran the Peppermill, the flashiest,
most profitable casino in Nevada.

Hey, Barry.
Keep the car.

I drove the hottest cars,
hung out with the biggest stars...

dated the sexiest babes.

- Watch your head.
- I was set.

Night and day
Why is it so

I had created paradise on Earth...

and all because I ate, slept
and breathed gambling.

Hi.

- Loser. Seven out.
- Stack 'em right.

I was a gambler's gambler--
a guaranteed winner.

- That's just the way it was.
- Go fish.

The Peppermill meant cash. The money was
comin' in so fast we couldn't count it.

Watch these guys.
I think they're stealin' towels.

- And it all went right
to the family, tax-free.
- Back to yellow. You lose.

The high rollers, the slot junkies,
the vacationers from the Midwest...

all came certain they could win...

- that this was their shot at a miracle.
- Place your bets.

It's all been arranged just for us
to get your money.

Let me see. Uh, two.

That's the truth about Las Vegas:

I'm sorry.
I was thinking of three.

The Mafia is a high-overhead machine,
and somebody's gotta pick up the tab.

- House wins.
Place your bets and guess again.
- Three.

To the bosses, I was a cash register.

All they had to do was to ring the bell
and take the money.

One, two, three, four.

- Back down the chute.
- Whoa!

Fixed fights, doped horses,
locked-in point spreads.

- I had the cake pouring in.
- Come on, baby!

But nothing brought it in faster
and in bigger bundles than the casino.

- I'll get these. You get those.
- I'll get those! You got those?

- Yeah. You get these over here.
- All right, I got these.
- Whose are those?

This was the end result of all
of the bright lights and glitter.

- Booze, broads and free hotel suites
for the high roller...
- Put your backs to it, men.

cheap drinks and all-you-can-eat buffets
for the everyday sucker.

The smart ones just send us the money
and save on plane fare.

I think of you

Day and night

I said, night and day

Under the hide of me

- All right, move' em out. Let's go.
- There's, oh, such a hungry yearnin'

It's burnin' inside

If we had our own printing press
we couldn't have done any better.

I made the Mafia happy, and the bosses
knew just how to spread the influence.

But life is an enigma.
I never planned for any of this.

And I'll lay you eight-to-five
when he was a kid back in Sicily...

my father, Vincenzo Cortino...

never thought his life would turn out
the way it did either.

Vincenzo!

Oops.

Wow! The colours!
Great shit!

The categories are:
the Chinese Theatre,

Female Firsts...

Documents, please.

The white zone
is for white people only.

That's right, one at a time.
Papers, please.

- Move along, sir.
- But we had reservations.

Next. Name?

- That's right, ma'am, your name.
- Sir, over here.

What's your name, boy?

- Step up, please.
- You next.

- Armani Windbreaker.
- Cortino.

Fine. Read this.
Stand over there.

- Next.
- Clamato!

Dominick Clamato!

I'm lookin' for Dominick Clamato!

- Sweat shop. Cheap wages.
- Clamato!

I'm lookin' for Dominick Clamato!

- Don't say nothin'.
- Dominick Clamato!

Gun.

- Where is your family?
- Family? No.

- Alone.
- That is so sad.

But when I close my eyes tight
I can picture them here.

When you squeeze your eyes closed,
do you see lots of things, eh...

- Rectangles?
- No.

All I ever see
are those long, floaty things.

Ah. Eye worms.

In Sicily the peasants
used to get them...

by eating raw pork
and then rubbing their eyes.

Once the worms
get inside your eyeball...

it's just a matter of days before
they eat their way into your brain.

Then you shit yourself
and die in a most embarrassing way.

Rosa was not very attractive
by ltalian standards.

- Rosa, come.
- Hardly any body hair.

Come on.

Next.

Thanks for carryin' my luggage, pal.
I'll take my gun.

Don't be a fool.
Cops don't help our kind.

In this country,
we gotta look out for ourselves.

-No!
-Give me your money. Give me your money!

- Use the gun.
- No.

I will use my brain.
It is as big as any bullet.

- You won't look so pretty
without a nose.
- Why don't you pick a nose
your own size?

Look at you.
You're just a boy.

Think you can stop me?
How?

- I'll outsmart you.
- Oh, yeah?

Then answer me this:
A rooster sits on the peak of a roof.

It lays an egg.
Which side will the egg roll down?

The left--
No, the right.

- I don't know.
- Neither, my friend.

Roosters don't lay eggs.

This was no ordinary kid.

I had a feeling
we'd be seeing a lot of each other.

Stay in school.

Thank you.
I don't even know your name.

Uh, Vincenzo. Vincenzo
Armani Windbreaker Cortino. You?

I'm Rosa Versace Blue Blazer
And Matching Skirt Pantuzzi.

- Are you from Sicily too?
- No. Milano.

My father was in the military.
A lancer.

- Bengal Lancer?
- No, a boil lancer. One of the best.

But then one day
there were no more boils.

He turned to drink.
We lost him at a Grateful Dead concert.

Look! A falling star!

They say that if two people meeting
for the first time see a falling star...

their wish will come true.

Make a wish, Vincenzo.

I believe in America.

I raised my daughter
in American fashion.

One day she went to see a man.

He got her alone in a room.

Held her down in a chair.

When she resisted,
he stuck her with a needle.

Then, when she was helpless...

he took pliers and...

Look at her, Don Cortino.
Look.

I'm familiar with this Dr Mendelbaum.
He's not a dentist, he's a butcher.

Put caps on the Turteltaub twins.

I saw them.
They looked like beavers.

In fact, I have
a cord of wood they cut.

I'm all set for the winter.

Whoopsy-daisy!

Ah. I found my keys.

I must own a car.

A beautiful girl, Don Cortino.

A daughter who has brought only
happiness into our home for 17 years.

Horrible.
Can't really blame the boy.

Die, you bastard.

What is it you request?

Uh, that's my bad ear.

No, I was wrong.
This must be the bad ear.

Don Cortino, I want justice
for my Angelina.

All right, Bonifacio, all right.

I will do this thing for you.

Thank you, Godfather.

Thank you.

Diane was my first love.
We were made for each other.

About the only disagreement we ever had
was when I went to war.

While I was off fighting, she was
working for the world peace movement.

But despite all that, when I got home
she was there to greet me.

I guess she was a sucker
for a guy in uniform.

Oh, Anthony, I'm so nervous
about meeting your family.

- If they don't like me, I'll just die.
- Hey! Tony!

Big war hero.

- I got you a souvenir.
- No.

Oh, wow. A North Korean.

Tony-- I mean, I do--
I don't know what to say.

I want you to meet Diane.
Diane, this is Dominick Clamato,
my father's most trusted friend.

- Hi.
- Bella.

Lugosi.

Hey, you guys,
look at what Tony brung me.

I'll bet you never seen
one of these before.

Anthony, isn't that Cesar Marzoni? The
man's a criminal. What's he doing here?

Maybe he does business
with my father.

What are you saying?

Look, I'm not my father, Diane,
just as you're not your father.

If we were our fathers, what we did last
night would only be legal in Arkansas.

Hmm.

Some champagne, sir?

It was like I never left.

- These were the faces I grew up with.
- Good to see you, Anthony.

It wasn't just me and Joey and Pop.

- It was Frankie Totino,
- Look who's here.

Hey, Anthony, welcome back.

- "Fatso" Paulie Orsatti,
- Try the veal picatta.

who was Benny "Big Features'" brother--
he controlled the unions.

- Then you had Nick Molinaro,
who ran the North Side;
- Hey! How ya doin'?

Jumbo
"The King of Big Screen TV" DeNuzio.

Yo, Tony, I'll knock 20 percent
off that Trinitron for you.

- There was AI "The Mailbox" Faducci,
- Miller Lite.

- Johnny Love...
- Who's the pretty girl?

and Charlie "Big Red-Ass Baboon
On His Head" Petrella.

Catch you later.

The Don'll see you now, Mr Gorgoni.

- Pop, this is Sal Gorgoni.
- Don Cortino.

It is a honour to be in the presence
of such a great man.

Your flattery brings a redness
to my hair.

Cigar?

Very fresh.

Uh, thank you, no.

Please, sit down.

Now, what is so urgent
that you've come to see Don Corduroy...

on the third anniversary
of my stepson's liposuction?

It is a known fact
that you have the judges in your pocket.

The politicians, they dance like--

Iike puppets for you.

You control the courts.

If you agree
to share your influence...

I will make you a partner
in my new business.

Suck my big ltalian sausage,
you magootza.

You make us partner?

You'll have to excuse my son.

Now, what sort of business
are we talking about?

I can make us bigger
than the Almighty Himself.

Shut your slimy guinea pazatz!
Nobody's bigger than Sinatra!

Joey's a good boy,
but there's always been something
about his personality that, uh--

How shall I put it?
He's fuckin' nuts.

This was brought in at great expense
from our friends in America Del Sur.

Ah! Nondairy creamer.
Good investment.

Drugs, Don Cortino.

I thank you for your offer, Mr Gorgoni,
but, well, answer me this:

Where is the future of this business?

Drugs don't taste good.
You can't put them on cereal.

Why would anyone want to invest
in something like that?

I hope you don't live
to regret this decision, Don Cortino.

Now, if we're finished, I'd like to get
back to my stepdaughter's coronation.

Godfather.

- Congratulations.
- Oh.

Hey, Pop.

Hey. I missed you, son.

- I missed you too, Pop.
- How was the war? Did you have fun?

I want you to meet Diane.

- Hi.
- Oh.

Tastes like chicken.

- Tony!
- Hey!

My big brother got married, huh?
Who is she?

Ah, some ltalian girl.
Who's this?

Oh, this is Diane.
We went to Vassar together.

Hi, Joey.
Anthony's told me so much about you.

Psychopath, right?

- Yeah.
- Hey!

- Oh, he seems so nice, honey.
- Get back here.
I'll shoot you in the face!

Easy, Joey.
Easy. Easy. Easy.

Guido.
Say hello to Guido.

Hey, scunge,
say hello to my present.

- How ya doin'?
- That's somethin', huh?

Don Cortino,
Don Marzoni from Las Vegas.

Don Cortino. You honour me
by inviting me to your home.

I've heard great things about
what you're doing in Las Vegas.

You know, you look familiar.

Uh, this is a friend of mine,
Pepper Giannini.

Mmm. Giannini.
Any Sicilian in you?

Not since last night.

Marriage.
The bond that binds us together.

Myself, I've been married to
the same wonderful woman for 42 years.

Of course, sex stopped for us
about a week after the wedding...

as it should.

I love my Rosa as much today as I did
the first time I forced myself on her.

But, uh, how 'bout this one here?

Breasts like cabbages.

And how about that ass?
You could play canasta on it.

So, Joey...

remember this old Sicilian proverb:

"Man is like a piece of cheese."

Hear, hear!

- Piece of cheese?
- Piece of cheese.

Say hello to my little friend.

- What the hell's that?
- That's the jitterbug, guys.
Come on. Jitterbug.

Keep up, keep up.

Wow!

What's he doin' now?

No!

After the attack on Pop, Joey was on
a rampage. He was ready to go to war.

So we brought in some strong-arm goons
from out of town.

Pop was in and out of consciousness...

and when he was awake
he seemed to have lost his will to live.

No doctors? No nurses? There's--
There's no one here to help him.

- Diane, he belongs to an HMO.
- Oh.

- Is he okay?
- Pop. My God. Pop!

I had a dog dream.

Anthony, I always knew
I could count on you.

Well, we've been here every day.

Really? So have l.

Come close.

Uh, Diane, could you excuse us
for a minute?

Oh, sure. If you need me,
I'll be up on the bidet.

- How bad is it? The truth.
- You're gonna be okay.

- You lost a lot of blood,
but we found most of it.
- Yeah.

This just arrived.

Oh, a carp. How thoughtful.
Fish sticks for everybody.

No, Pop, it's a message.
"Oyster Jimmy sleeps with the fishes."

Well, I hope he's using protection.
Good-looking fella like that could have
any woman he wanted.

Present company included.

Pop, somebody's out to get us
and we don't know who.

Can you think of anybody, Pop?
Anybody?

Well, there is a man.
He has only one thumb.

It matches this.

We used to just steal things,
kill and dismember people.

Now it's all drugs.
Oh, where is the honour?

Why go on?

I brought somebody
to cheer you up, Pop.

Mama?

Mama.

Look what they did to my boy.

Oh, my sweet Vincenzo.

I kept your ring for you, Mama.
Here.

Let me.

It's stuck.
I can't get it off.

- You. Whose kid are you? Huh?
- Here you go, Paulie.

Gino, don't eat so fast.
God'll give you a tumour.

Hey, Ma, lay off the kid.
Slow down. You gotta digest.

Gorgoni wouldn't try to kill Pop
just 'cause he insulted him.
There's gotta be more to it than that.

It had to be Gorgoni.
I say we whack him.

- Don't talk business at the table.
- This shirt is stranglin' me.

- I told you I'd take it back.
- It makes me nuts, the way you shop.

Ooh! ltalian food.

What, you think Gorgoni
wants to take over the family? Come on!

- He ain't got the cogliones for that.
- Maybe somebody bigger
ordered the hit, Joey.

I told you, not at the table.
You wanna bring a pox?

Gorgoni will not stop until Pop is dead.
We gotta have a war.

Kill every one of those
rat-lickin' basserinos.

Tie his steaming intestines to a runaway
horse and yank 'em out his ass!

- Who wants tea?
- Don't reach.

- Hey!
- Don't say "Hey!" to your grandma.
Show some respect.

I'm gonna get some tea.
Sure nobody want none?

I tell ya how I'm gonna settle our
differences. I'm gonna shoot the guy
right in the lombardos.

Goddam it, I said
not in front of the kids.

Just once I'd like to see ya buy
somethin' without havin' to exchange it.

Twenty-four years I'm married.

I coulda shot her and been out on parole
14 years.

I'll do it. I'll kill Gorgoni.

You? College boy?

It's just business.

We'll set up a meeting someplace public,
like a roller rink or a boutique.

I'll kill Gorgoni myself.

- Diane.
- Cut off her feet and make soup.

Diane.

Anthony, do you remember when we were
in college, before you were drafted?

We said that we were gonna dedicate
our lives to, to ending war...

to bringing peace to the world.

- What happened to that?
- World peace?

Don't be so naive, Diane.

Besides, I can't turn my back on Pop
and Joey. They're like family to me.

Anthony, they're criminals.
They're murderers.

Criminals are people too, Diane.

If you prick a murderer, does he not
leave a blood trail all the way back
to his Rockingham estate?

This is that whole Sicilian thing,
isn't it?

I'll never belong, Anthony.

I'm always just gonna be that Protestant
chick who never killed anyone.

All right,
let's go over it again.

Now, you kill him after the main course.
Salad's too soon.

And then somethin' light for dessert.
Maybe a sorbet or some kiwi.

Frankie'll stash the pistol
in the bathroom for ya.

He'll put the gun in the stall
behind the flush tank.

Hey, don't worry, Anthony.
You'll do okay.

Anthony. Benvenuto.

- He's gonna frisk you.
- Turn your head.

Cough.

He's clean.

- And April fresh.
- Sit.

I'm gonna speak ltalian to Anthony.

"Lyle Menendez"?
Come on.

Come on!

EI Nino.

Okay.

Oh!

Lou Ferrigno?

So, Anthony...

Can we do business?

Anthony?

I can hear the ocean.

My life had come to this.

The little crippled kid
they used to call "Tiny Anthony"...

who had sold flowers
on the street corner...

had grown up to be a killer.

When he was my age,
things were different for Pop.

By the time of the Great Depression,
my father, Vincenzo Cortino...

was a law-abiding citizen
struggling through the ranks
of the Manhattan olive oil business.

Vincenzo Cortino!
Hey, Vincenzo.

- Hey, Clamato, how are you?
- Look at you. You work too hard.

Come to the duck fights
with me tonight.

- The kid is undefeated.
- Eh, no, Dominick, thank you.

I have a family. I'm married.
I'm not supposed to enjoy myself.

Besides, where'd you get enough money
to buy your own duck, hmm?

When are you gonna wise up, Vincenzo?

Someday I'm gonna own
an entire goose...

and you'll still have
the stink of olives on you.

- Who is he?
- Don Narducci, the Black Hand.

For a price,
he protects the people.

Stay away from him, or your life won't
be worth the paper it's printed on.

Yeah.

- That's a good week's work, Vincenzo.
- Papa! Papa!

Papa, Papa, good news!
I sold the other daisy to Signor Biggio.

Ah, Tiny Anthony.
Come. Come.

Ah, you are such a good boy.
You know that?

- It's Joey's birthday, Papa.
- Yes, yes, I know.

We will try to find him something nice
on the way home.

Well, I guess
you'll be needing your pay.

I give you the big half.

Grazie, Mr Rizzo. Grazie.

- You are too good to me, huh?
- It's nothing.

- Come. Let's go home.
- You do well. Right, Tiny Anthony?

- I'll see you tomorrow, Signor Rizzo.
- Si.

Goodbye, Mr Rizzo.

God bless us, every one!

Mama, we're home!

- Papa.
- Joey.

- I sold another flower, Mama.
- That's wonderful.

Come. Sit. Dinner is ready.
Sit, sit. I've been cooking all day.

I had to sell the hook.

Ah.

I saw a man today, Rosa,
who sucks his own people dry.

Mmm. Like in those movies
you made me watch.

- No. I mean, in a bad way.
- Oh.

What did you bring me
for my birthday, Papa?

What did I bring you?
This.

Happy birthday, Joey.

- Mmm, boot! It smells delicious, Rosa.
- Mmm.

- Who wants an end cut?
- Can I have the tongue?

Open your present, Joey.

- Pop, it's a rat.
- No.

- It's a puppy.
- But it looks like a rat.

Don't argue with your father.
God'll pluck your eyes out.

It's a puppy.

- Must have cost you a fortune.
- Yes. But look how happy the boy is.

Someday, will I be able to run and play
like all the other children?

Yes, my son. Yes.

And I promise you,
there will come a day...

where your legs will be as strong
as any ox...

and this--
this battered old crutch...

will be nothing but a memory.

So, the Cortino's are celebrating.

I want my cut of the money
you've been making, Cortino.

Please, Don Narducci.
We have nothing.

- Papa! Papa!
- What is it, Joey?

We have the money in the green can we've
been saving for Anthony's operation.

I'm not a greedy man.
I just want to wet my beak.

- Please, no!
- Rosa.

Next time you'd better have more...

or I'll take something
truly precious from you.

God bless us, every one!

Danke schoen
Darlin', danke schoen

After I whacked Gorgoni,
I had to disappear.

When a guy on the run wants to hide,
there's no place like Las Vegas.

It's a city with no memory,
a town full of strangers.

I recall Central Park in fall

How you tore your dress
What a mess

They say you can't hit a moving target,
so I kept moving.

Danke schoen
Darlin', danke schoen

Right now, watch,
ladies and gentlemen...

as I transform my lovely assistant
Louise into a Bengal tiger.

Pop never groomed me for a life
like this. He had other plans.

I was supposed to be Senator Cortino
or Governor Cortino.

Louise! Tiger!

Louise!
What a pair of legs on her, huh?

After a while the long hours, the
pressure to perform, the catty reviews--

it started to wear me down.

Then one day out of the blue,
I get a message from Don Marzoni.

The memory stays for always

- My heart says
- This guy owns Vegas.

Danke schoen
Oh, darlin', danke schoen

I don't know if I could run your casino
even if I wanted to.

You might think of this job
as kind of an insurance policy.

I know that, but I killed a guy.
I mean, I'm on the lam.
Nobody's gonna give me a casino licence.

You don't have to have a licence
to work a casino.

You just apply to the gaming commission.

This commission's the same guys
that run Major League Baseball.
Now, think about it.

You think they're gonna turn you down
just for killing a guy? Nah.

Who could resist?

- Anywhere else in the country,
I'd be just another murderer.
- Place your bets! Place your bets!

- The best things in life are free
- New shooter comin' in!

- But here I was a murderer
who ran a casino.
- Big time! Let's go! Big time!

- Big time!
- Suddenly I fit right in.
- New shooter!

Craps! Loser!

Marzoni brought out my brother Joey
to handle security, and we went to work.

Oh, look who's here.
It's Joey.

- Money don't get everything, it's true
- Oh, my God!

- But what it don't get I can't use
- I'm sorry. You lose.

Nope, I'm sorry.
Thank you for playing.

The way I figured it,
the best way to stay alive
was to make money for the family.

We love it.
Thank you for playing.

So I made money, enough to make
a Wall Street investment banker drool.

- Place your bets. Place your bets.
- All I thought about was the casino.

- Fifty-two pick-up.
- No distractions, no time for myself.

- Until...
- Yeah! Come on, baby! Yeah!

Yeah! All right, baby! Yeah!

Sittin' here
Eatin' my heart out, waitin'

Waitin' for some lover to call

- Lookin' for some hot stuff, baby
this evenin'
- Hot stuff, baby

- I need some hot stuff, baby, tonight
- Hot stuff, baby

- I need some hot stuff, baby
this evenin'
- Hot stuff

Got to have some hot stuff

Got to have your love tonight

- Ohh! Oooh!
- Yeah!

- I need hot stuff
- Yeah! Yes!

Hot stuff

She had everything a man could want--

beauty, brains...

and class.

Yeah, yeah! Yeah!

- Lookin' for a lover
who needs another
- Come here, baby!

Don't want another night on my own

What a dismount.
I fell in love right there.

Wanna bring a wild man back home

- Where'd you learn to dance like that?
- Juilliard.

I wanted to be a research chemist,
but my legs were too long.

You know, there's something
very familiar about you.

We met at your father's
attempted murder.

Oh, that's right.
You're Pepper Giannini, right?

- You were with Don Marzoni.
- He's such a sweetheart.

He helped me out once
when I was down on my luck.

- Financial trouble?
- No. Mai Luck, the Chinese ambassador.

Oh, hi!

So, the Peppermill.
Marzoni named it after you, huh?

Sure did.
I'm the apple of his eye.

I'll bet you're
rotten to the core.

Yeah. And I'm delicious.

Diane was becoming
a distant memory--

very distant.

I had a feeling
she was a wildcat...

but I knew I was just the man
who could tame her.

Ow!

Anthony? Anthony?

Huh?

Oh!

Wow! Oh!

Oh, yes! Anthony!

Yes! Yes! Yes!

Oh, Anthony!

Wheee!

Wow. You got game.

All bets are down.
The lady's comin' out.

- Yea!
- This lady's a winner.

Pepper started taking up
a lot of my time...

but I tried to stay
focused on the casino.

Box cars. Come on. Yea!

Joey wasn't much help.

- You're winnin' my money?
- Yeah!

Looking back,
I was so blinded by love...

I didn't see the big problem
right in front of me.

Looking for love

If it was white and if it was powder,
Joey was into it.

It was my job to keep
an eye on the gamblers...

but my eyes were
only on Pepper.

- Fourteen, sixteen, bust.
- When I stopped paying attention
so did everyone else...

- House pays.
- and the suckers
started beating the house.

Then the cheaters got wind
and started flocking to us.

They cruise from casino to casino
looking for weak dealers
the way lions look for weak antelope.

Queen.

I could see the dealer
wasn't in on it...

but he was lifting his
hole card way too high.

Yeah.

We had a surefire way
of handling things like that.

Now here's this guy reading
the hole card and signalling his buddy.

- Bet the farm!
- Let me tell you now

I've never felt
like this before

Something's got a hold on me
that won't let go

Believe I'd die if I only could

I feel so strange
but it sure is good

- I said oh
- Oh

- Oh
- Oh
- Oh

- Oh
- Oh
- Oh

Hey, hey, hey, yeah
Oh, it must be love

- You know it must be love
- Yeah, yeah, yeah, now

My heart feels heavy
My feet feel light

And I feel all right

- I never felt like this before
- Lord!

Something's got a hold on me
that won't let go

- Mommy!
- Oh! Oh!
- I never thought it would be this way

- Joey was always a hothead,
but I could rely on him.
- Who?

- No, no, no!
- Oh
- Oh
- Oh

- Now with the drugs,
he was out of control,
and the place was falling apart.
- Get out of the way.

Then the take dropped off,
and that's the worst thing
that can happen at a casino.

I did what I could
to turn things around--

we recycled the food,
fired the dishwashers...

started a happy hour for seniors
and the mentally ill.

We even watered down
the drinks...

but that meant
we had to skimp in other places.

Happy birthday to you

- Then things really took a turn
when Pop came to visit.
- Happy birthday to you

Happy birthday, Don Cortino

Happy birthday to you

- Congratulations!
- Happy birthday!

Ah, the cake.
Beautiful, Bonifacio. Beautiful.

I want to thank you all
for coming today.

I know that, uh, many of you
have put off important murders
and drug deals to be here.

I'm especially pleased
to have representatives
from the five families with us--

the Badalotos, the Romanis...

the Marzonis,
the Jeffersons--

who moved on up from the East Side
to get themselves a piece of the pie.

My friends, a while ago
I was shot 47 times.

And it really got me thinking:
It's time to pass on my power.

And I want you all to know that at the
time of my death, l, Don Cortizone...

will turn over all that I control
to my son, Anthony.

- Congratulations!
- Congratulations!

- Good boy, Anthony.
- Just great!

Anthony.

Joey, you get Wisconsin.

Ah, devil's food.

Enjoy!

Enjoy.

- Pastiori!
- Quick-pick loser!

Wisconsin--
big, fat German women.

It ain't right.

If you ask me,
your being passed over's an insult.

I'm smart.
I can handle anything.

- I been groomin' myself
my whole life to be Don.
- Maybe I can help.

It's none of your business,
all right?

Don't ever try to come
between me and my family.

Ooh. Anger.

Maybe I've been barking
up the wrong Cortino.

That a girl.
Come get the bone.

You wanna go to the park?
All right, now roll over.

There you go. Speak!

- Oh, my God. How could you?
- What are ya talkin' about?

A total stranger I could understand.
You and another woman, maybe.

Me, you and another woman, definitely.
But Joey, my brother!

Tony, i-it's not
what it looks like.

It's the Heimlich.
She swallowed a big chunk of meat.

- You're banging your brains out.
- You're just guessing!

What do you take me for,
some kind of an idiot?

Tony, ti amo.
The air conditioning broke.

We had to cool down.

- How can you deny this?
- You can't prove anything.

- You're a slut.
You will sleep with anybody.
- That's what sluts do.

If I was particular,
I wouldn't be a slut.

Joey, you're the last person
in the world I'd expect this from.

- We're family.
I would never betray you.
- Don't lie to me!

- You guys are sleeping together!
- All right, all right!
But we never actually slept!

Oh, my G-- That's my brother!
Don't you ever go near him again!

You don't own me, Anthony.

- That's why we don't have
nice things, Pepper.
- Get out! Get out of my life!

- Tony, i-it's not what it looks like.
- Psychopath, right?

I can't turn my back on Pop and Joey.
They're like family to me.

- This is that whole
Sicilian thing, isn't it?
- I would never betray you.

- I always knew I could count on you.
- They're criminals. They're murderers.

- Criminals are people too, Diane.
- Get out of my life!

I did not have sexual relations
with that woman--

Miss Lewinsky--
but I am wearing her underwear.

It's done.

Chuckie?

Watch this.

Boogey, boogey, boogey!

Boogey, boogey, boogey!

That stinks, Chuckie.

I started this.

Grandpa? Grandpa?

Rolex!

Everybody dies,
but in the Mafia...

people die more often,
and never by accident.

The death of my father sent
shock waves through the underworld.

The family was without a leader.

The news reached me at a private
hospital that catered exclusively
to English patients.

One, two, three--

My explosion, his death--
someone wanted the Cortino empire.

We're here today to lay to rest
the dearly departed soul...

of Don Vincenzo
Armani Windbreaker Cortino.

The Lord is my shepherd.
I shall not want.

He maketh me to lie down
in green pastures.

He leadeth me beside
the still waters.

Yea, though I walk through
the valley of the shadow of death...

I shall fear no evil.

The rod--
Thy rod and Thy staff--

- It's okay, Mama. I'm here now.
- They-- They will comfort me--

I'll preparest a table--
a table--

- I know.
- There's a table--
- I know. I'm glad to see you too.

My table is prepared.

- Everyone had something to gain
with Pop out of the way.
- Surely--

- I couldn't trust anybody.
- Surely and-and-and Laverne.

- Which one of them killed my father?
- There was kindness--

- Don Romani from the Chicago family?
- From the days--
All the days of my life--

- Don Badaloto from the Cleveland mob?
- Uh, and I will dwell in my house.

-Don Quixote?
-And I will dwell in your house-- house.

- Don Cornelius?
- Love, peace and soul.

Dwell in the Lord's house--

But it wasn't until I saw Chuckie,
my brother Joey's kid...

taking a pay-off from the man
with the missing thumb...

that I realized our family's enemy
had been Don Marzoni all along.

- I had been embraced by the very man
whose lifelong vendetta had been
to kill my father.
- Oh, no!

And now, with my own nephew,
he had succeeded.

In the quicksand of organized crime,
the only option is retribution.

My cup runneth--

I wondered how Pop
would have handled all of this.

- Then I thought back to the most
important day of my childhood.
- Daisies, daisies!

Five dozen for a nickel!

Daisies, daisies!
Five dozen for a nickel!

Hi, Tiny Anthony.
How's my favourite florist?

Oh, hi, Jenny.
This is for you.

Thank you.

Ah, the Cortino boy. You know,
your papa never paid me what he owes.

You've done well.
This belongs to me.

Of course, Don Narducci.
And so does this!

- Miracle Gro!
- You okay, boss? You okay?

- Hey, kid!
- Come on. Let's go after him.
- Get him!
- Hey, you! Come here!

Run, florist, run!

Get back here, kid!

Ooh! Pitchfork!
Look out!

Papa! Papa!

Tiny Anthony, my boy!

It's a miracle!

Stay.

You surprise me, Don Narducci.
They say violence is
the hand puppet of the ignorant.

- Don't call me ignorant.
- No? Then answer me this:

Train "A" Ieaves Seattle
at 40 miles per hour.

Train "B" Ieaves Houston
at 50 miles per hour.

Which train
arrives at Sea World first?

- Papa! Papa!
- And carry the six.
- What is it, Joey?

This is 1938. There won't be
Sea World for another 30 years.

You tried to trick me.
Now I kill you all.

He's mine!

Don Cortino!

Godfather.

Papa taught me
the virtue of vengeance.

Now was time to take control
of the family business.

But first I had to put my life back
on track, and that meant finding Diane.

And although it seemed an
impossible dream just a few years ago...

the feeling here today fluctuates
between anxious anticipation...

and outright exhilaration
as political and spiritual leaders...

from every country on Earth
have convened at this historic site...

to witness the final signature
on the document...

that will secure and guarantee
world peace in perpetuity.

The "Peace For All Time" treaty--
or P-FAT...

as it has been dubbed
by its author and champion,
the President of the United States--

marks the culmination of one
valiant person's heroic crusade...

to end strife,
no matter where it may occur.

The presidential limousine
is arriving.

The president is emerging
and striding triumphantly forward.

One can only imagine the thoughts
that must be racing through her mind...

as the world's attention focuses on
this unprecedented achievement.

Mrs President.

With the addition
of my signature today...

P-FAT becomes a reality.

It is my most fervent hope
that this be...

the moment when
all mankind comes together--

when at last the world's population
can rise as one, and say--

Anthony?

- Oh, my God!
- Step back.

- Stand closely. Take the left.
- I got it.

- Anthony.
- It's good to see you, Diane.

- What happened to your face?
- Car exploded.

- What are you doing here, Anthony?
- I've taken over the family business.
I need you.

I care about you.
I came here because I want you
to marry me and come home with me.

Madam President, the treaty.

Madam President?

But what about P-FAT, Anthony?

I'm so near to fulfilling the dream
that-- that we once shared.

There's someone
I want you to meet.

This is my very good friend,
President Steen.

- Would you like to say hi to her?
- Hi, President Steen.

Hello. You're a daddy.

I'm a daddy.

- So, what's your name?
- Diane.

- Like me!
- I named him after his mother.

I'm a mother?

- Why didn't you tell me?
- You said you didn't want
to be a part of my life.

Oh!

Anthony, he's the most beautiful thing
I've ever seen!

He looks just like me!

You smell good.

I had cantaloupe for lunch.

- You like football, huh?
- Uh-huh.

Ever since Michael lrvin
laid off the nose candy.

Do you want to play?

- I'd love to.
- Are you my real mommy?

Uh-huh.

Go long, Mommy.

Yeah, I understand, but--

I-l don't know
if I can make it there.

You sure?

You're out of the wedding, Joey.

- It's a local call.
- You gotta answer for Pop.

What the hell you talkin' about?
I had nothin' to do with that.

You fingered him. Just like you
set me up that day in Vegas--

that little sexual fromage-a-trois
you played with Pepper.

You think you can fool
another Cortino?

You bastarducci!

Sit down.

Get him a drink.

Tony, don't do this
to me, please.

You think I'd kill my own brother
just 'cause he tried to kill me?

Today's the day I settle
all family business.

- I'm putting you on a plane to Fargo.
- These are over the wing!

Now, tell me everything
that happened that night.

And don't lie to me,
because it insults my intelligence.

Pepper got me
together with Marzoni.

He said if I helped him out,
he'd make it worth my while.

- He said he'd make me
head of the family.
- You know I'd always take care of you.

You're my kid brother! You take care
of me? I'm the oldest, Tony,
and I was stepped over!

- That was Pop's idea.
- Well, it wasn't my idea.
- You're a psychotic lunatic!

And I deserve respect for that!

You broke my heart, Joey.

I don't ever want
to see you again.

That's, uh, $3.50.

Dearly beloved, we are gathered here
in the sight of God...

to join this man and this woman
in the state of holy matrimony.

It is the most sacred
of journeys...

one in which
the sanctity of human life...

is cherished and celebrated.

Your love must be sincere.

Detest what is evil,
cling to what is good...

rejoice in hope,
be patient under trial...

persevere in prayer,
be generous in offering hospitality.

Clothe yourselves
with heartfelt mercy...

with kindness, with humility,
meekness and patience.

Bear with one another. Forgive whatever
grievances you have against one another.

My dear friends, you have
come together in this church...

so that the Lord may seal
and strengthen your love...

in the presence of this church's
minister and community.

And so in the presence of the Church,
I ask you to state your intentions.

Anthony and Diane, have you come here
freely and without reservation...

to give yourselves
to each other in marriage?

- We have.
- We have.

Will you love and honour each other as
man and wife for the rest of your life?

We will.

Let us pray.

Huh?

Anthony and Diane, since it is
your intention to enter into marriage...

join your right hands
and declare your consent.

Diane, do you take Anthony
for your lawful husband...

to have and to hold
from this day forward...

for better, for worse, for richer,
for poorer, in sickness and in health...

till death do you part?

I do.

Anthony, do you take Diane to be
your lawfully wedded wife...

to have and to hold from this
day forward, for better, for worse...

for richer, for poorer, in sickness
and in health, till death do you part?

I do.

Ow! Yikes! Hey!

That's my liver, you dick!

Watch me. Watch me.

- What God hath joined together...
- Not personal. Is business.

Iet no man tear asunder.

Mazel Tov!

- That's far enough, guys. Mafia only.
- Oh. Sorry.

Lousy, cold-hearted bastard!

You knew you were gonna kill them,
didn't you? Look at the papers!

That's you!
That's my husband!

- Is it true?
- Don't ask me about my business, Diane.

Is it true, Anthony? Did you kill
those men? Did you kill Joey's son?

No.

Oh. Okay. Whoops.

You know what? Think I'm gonna
go get some frozen yogurt.

See you a little bit later.

So, here's the enigma:

Some would argue that
the Mafia's a bad thing...

that it uses its power
to undermine law and order...

- to promote the very lowest forms
of human behaviour.
- Don Cortino.

Of course, that's all true,
but in the end, maybe it's worth it.

The way I see it, when the law
fails us, it fails our children.

- Godfather.
- Only the Mafia has the power
to do the one deed...

to benefit all mankind.

We are family

I got all my sisters with me

We are family

Get up, everybody and sing

We are family

I got all my sisters with me

We are family

Get up, everybody and sing

Everyone can see we're together

- As we walk on by
- And

And we fly just like birds
of a feather

- I won't tell no lie
- All

All of the people around us
they say

Can they be that close

- Just let me state for the record
- Ooh, ltalian food!

We're givin' love
in a family dose

We are family

I got all my sisters with me

We are family

Get up, everybody and sing

-We are family
-We're family! I would never betray you.

I got all my sisters with me

We are family

Get up, everybody and sing

Yeah

- Yea!
- Come on, y'all!

We are family

- Get up everybody and sing
- Hey, how ya doin'?

- Ooh, yeah
- We are family

I got all my sisters with me

- Oh, oh, yeah
- We are family

Get up everybody and sing

We are family

- You smell good.
- I had cantaloupe for lunch.

Just great!