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1
00:00:00,918 --> 00:00:02,338
No, no! I don't want you
2
00:00:02,419 --> 00:00:03,919
to plant the birds-of-paradise.
3
00:00:04,004 --> 00:00:05,884
I want you to rip them all out.
4
00:00:05,964 --> 00:00:07,514
¿Estas?
5
00:00:07,591 --> 00:00:08,841
Yeah, all the birds-of-paradise.
6
00:00:08,926 --> 00:00:10,006
I want them gone.
7
00:00:10,093 --> 00:00:12,183
And in the empty hole,
8
00:00:12,262 --> 00:00:16,142
I'd like you to plant
this Japanese horsetail reed.
9
00:00:16,225 --> 00:00:18,885
I'm sorry, my husband usually helps me
with the landscaping,
10
00:00:18,977 --> 00:00:21,097
but he apparently thinks
he's Puff Daddy now,
11
00:00:21,188 --> 00:00:22,558
producing J.Lo's hit new record,
12
00:00:22,648 --> 00:00:24,268
-and so I'm left...
-¿Qué?
13
00:00:24,358 --> 00:00:25,728
I'm sorry, you don't comprende.
14
00:00:25,817 --> 00:00:27,067
Listen.
15
00:00:27,152 --> 00:00:29,572
These in, those out!
16
00:00:29,655 --> 00:00:30,815
Make sense?
17
00:00:30,906 --> 00:00:32,446
Yeah?
18
00:00:32,533 --> 00:00:33,663
Thank you.
19
00:00:33,742 --> 00:00:35,622
Okay.
20
00:00:35,702 --> 00:00:38,372
[clears throat]
21
00:00:38,455 --> 00:00:40,455
[lively fiddle music]
22
00:00:42,042 --> 00:00:44,042
♪
23
00:00:53,637 --> 00:00:54,717
Oh, there you are.
24
00:00:54,805 --> 00:00:57,345
You know, Fidelia is a bitch on wheels,
25
00:00:57,432 --> 00:00:59,312
but the pâté is fantastic.
26
00:00:59,393 --> 00:01:00,643
-Is it?
-Yes.
27
00:01:00,727 --> 00:01:02,767
Okay, so you have time
28
00:01:02,855 --> 00:01:04,225
for goose liver, but you don't have time
29
00:01:04,314 --> 00:01:05,864
to help me in the garden? [chuckles]
30
00:01:05,941 --> 00:01:07,781
What's that supposed to mean?
31
00:01:07,860 --> 00:01:10,990
You do realize that the renovation was
supposed to be finished before this party?
32
00:01:11,071 --> 00:01:12,951
What do you want me to do--
tell "El Nightmare"
33
00:01:13,031 --> 00:01:14,621
that I can't engineer his new cut
34
00:01:14,700 --> 00:01:18,540
because my wife needs me
to supervise the flowerbed redo?
35
00:01:18,620 --> 00:01:20,660
Huh?
36
00:01:20,747 --> 00:01:22,827
[sighs] Sorry.
37
00:01:22,916 --> 00:01:25,876
Listen, Rumualdo is happy, all right?
38
00:01:25,961 --> 00:01:27,881
He's thrilled with the renovation.
39
00:01:27,963 --> 00:01:29,923
He's pouring more money into the budget.
40
00:01:30,007 --> 00:01:32,047
He even took off our tracking bracelets
for the party.
41
00:01:32,134 --> 00:01:34,014
Now, aren't these wins, Cricket?
42
00:01:34,094 --> 00:01:35,854
Yes.
43
00:01:35,929 --> 00:01:37,389
Yes, you're right. I'm sorry.
44
00:01:37,472 --> 00:01:39,352
We have always been "client first."
45
00:01:39,433 --> 00:01:41,023
So, if Rumualdo's happy, then...
46
00:01:41,101 --> 00:01:42,441
then we should be happy-- I'm sorry!
47
00:01:42,519 --> 00:01:44,189
I'm just feeling a little overwhelmed.
48
00:01:44,271 --> 00:01:45,401
You know who's not happy?
49
00:01:45,480 --> 00:01:46,860
Sofia.
50
00:01:46,940 --> 00:01:49,230
Fidelia hired a French jazz fusion trio
51
00:01:49,318 --> 00:01:51,028
to play at her quinceañera.
52
00:01:51,111 --> 00:01:52,741
Mm... Sofia doesn't care.
53
00:01:52,821 --> 00:01:55,031
She's too busy trying to get
54
00:01:55,115 --> 00:01:57,655
finger-blasted by cousin Raul.
55
00:01:57,743 --> 00:01:59,043
Ah... there they are!
56
00:01:59,119 --> 00:02:01,209
My celebrity designers, hola.
57
00:02:01,288 --> 00:02:02,538
Diego, hi.
58
00:02:02,623 --> 00:02:04,213
Have you had the pâté yet?
59
00:02:04,291 --> 00:02:06,001
Oh, no, please-- who serves French food
60
00:02:06,084 --> 00:02:07,384
at a Mexican birthday party, okay?
61
00:02:07,461 --> 00:02:08,881
Like, snails and goose liver?
62
00:02:08,962 --> 00:02:11,552
It is off-brand and disgusting to me.
63
00:02:11,632 --> 00:02:14,342
Disagree-- I actually have
such a soft spot for escargot,
64
00:02:14,426 --> 00:02:16,296
it's almost a hard spot.
65
00:02:16,386 --> 00:02:18,216
Well, the two of you have
made some very big fans.
66
00:02:18,305 --> 00:02:19,885
And I promised the Ortegas
I'd introduce you,
67
00:02:19,973 --> 00:02:21,273
so you're in for a treat.
68
00:02:21,350 --> 00:02:23,480
[speaking Spanish]
69
00:02:23,560 --> 00:02:26,060
El es Jann, ella es Cricket.
70
00:02:26,146 --> 00:02:30,726
Oh, what you did with Diego's house--
exquisite.
71
00:02:30,817 --> 00:02:32,857
He hasn't stopped talking
about the gold sink
72
00:02:32,945 --> 00:02:35,155
and the, the tiger paw faucet.
73
00:02:35,239 --> 00:02:36,739
-CRICKET: Yeah.
-He's obsessed!
74
00:02:36,823 --> 00:02:39,243
Yes, well, Diego was a tough sell
on that faucet.
75
00:02:39,326 --> 00:02:40,946
But he came around.
76
00:02:41,036 --> 00:02:42,866
I have learned to shut my mouth,
with these two, you know?
77
00:02:42,955 --> 00:02:44,245
It's called a trust exercise.
78
00:02:44,331 --> 00:02:45,501
It's very cool.
79
00:02:45,582 --> 00:02:47,082
I want you to do our master bathroom
80
00:02:47,167 --> 00:02:49,377
exactly like Diego's.
81
00:02:49,461 --> 00:02:51,461
When you're done with Rumualdo's,
of course.
82
00:02:51,547 --> 00:02:53,917
-No. Yeah...
-Actually, this is our last...
83
00:02:54,007 --> 00:02:55,717
Hey, hey, hey, of course!
I told you they'd love
84
00:02:55,801 --> 00:02:58,011
to work on it with you.
Now, if you'll excuse me
85
00:02:58,095 --> 00:02:59,845
with these two rascals for a little bit.
86
00:02:59,930 --> 00:03:01,220
-Hey, try the, try the pâté!
-Of course.
87
00:03:01,306 --> 00:03:02,426
It's so delicious.
88
00:03:02,516 --> 00:03:03,766
Come with me.
89
00:03:03,851 --> 00:03:05,311
Come, come.
90
00:03:07,980 --> 00:03:10,730
-W-T-fuck, Diego?!
-What?
91
00:03:10,816 --> 00:03:12,396
You said as soon as we were done
remodeling the beach house
92
00:03:12,484 --> 00:03:13,784
we were all paid up.
93
00:03:13,861 --> 00:03:15,151
My goodness! Yes, you are, of course.
94
00:03:15,237 --> 00:03:17,107
But, uh-oh, oh-oh.
95
00:03:17,197 --> 00:03:19,407
[singsongy]: Ching, ching, ching, ching.
96
00:03:19,491 --> 00:03:21,491
The Ortegas just put down
a $10,000 deposit
97
00:03:21,577 --> 00:03:23,617
to retain your services.
98
00:03:23,704 --> 00:03:26,374
I keep a ten percent,
of course, and now...
99
00:03:26,456 --> 00:03:29,326
we're in business together--
congratulations!
100
00:03:29,418 --> 00:03:31,128
But, no, we had an agreement!
101
00:03:31,211 --> 00:03:33,171
Yeah, we had one agreement.
102
00:03:33,255 --> 00:03:35,375
I agreed that I was not going to kill you.
103
00:03:35,465 --> 00:03:37,505
And that agreement is open-ended.
104
00:03:37,593 --> 00:03:39,473
Subject to change-- do you understand me?
105
00:03:39,553 --> 00:03:41,813
Don't give me Bambi eyes. Don't do this.
106
00:03:41,889 --> 00:03:44,059
All right, look...
you're never going home.
107
00:03:44,141 --> 00:03:45,271
Okay? That's just a fact.
108
00:03:45,350 --> 00:03:47,900
You're part of us now, okay?
109
00:03:47,978 --> 00:03:49,768
You can still make a pretty good life.
110
00:03:49,855 --> 00:03:51,315
Look, you build up your client base,
111
00:03:51,398 --> 00:03:53,068
you do exactly what you love to do,
112
00:03:53,150 --> 00:03:55,150
and you start making
some real fucking money!
113
00:03:55,235 --> 00:03:56,815
Everyone wins.
114
00:03:56,904 --> 00:03:58,664
Especially me, if I'm gonna be honest.
115
00:03:58,739 --> 00:03:59,699
I win a lot.
116
00:03:59,781 --> 00:04:01,201
How do you win?
117
00:04:01,283 --> 00:04:02,663
Diego Santos is now a tastemaker.
118
00:04:02,743 --> 00:04:03,993
Can you believe it?
119
00:04:04,077 --> 00:04:05,407
People are calling me at all hours
120
00:04:05,495 --> 00:04:07,405
to ask me about my celebrity designers.
121
00:04:07,497 --> 00:04:09,287
They want you to design
their sunporches and shit.
122
00:04:09,374 --> 00:04:10,504
It's very cool.
123
00:04:10,584 --> 00:04:12,544
Wait, so you're the tastemaker?
124
00:04:12,628 --> 00:04:13,958
But the best part about it is, though,
125
00:04:14,046 --> 00:04:15,546
as one of Rumualdo's loyal associates,
126
00:04:15,631 --> 00:04:17,931
it is my duty to know about everything.
127
00:04:18,008 --> 00:04:19,298
You know, to keep him safe.
128
00:04:19,384 --> 00:04:21,764
So you two are my eyes and ears.
129
00:04:21,845 --> 00:04:23,505
Y-You want us to be spies?
130
00:04:23,597 --> 00:04:24,967
Shh.
131
00:04:25,057 --> 00:04:26,807
Who said spies? Who said spies?
132
00:04:26,892 --> 00:04:28,272
-Uh...
-No, no, no, no.
133
00:04:28,352 --> 00:04:29,982
We are family, okay?
134
00:04:30,062 --> 00:04:32,732
Family protects each other, okay?
135
00:04:32,814 --> 00:04:35,574
So, if you hear Rumualdo
discussing anything--
136
00:04:35,651 --> 00:04:36,901
plans for new expansion,
137
00:04:36,985 --> 00:04:38,565
strategies, or personnel change--
138
00:04:38,654 --> 00:04:41,204
you answer directly to me,
so I can serve him better.
139
00:04:41,281 --> 00:04:43,121
Do you understand
what the fuck I'm saying?
140
00:04:43,200 --> 00:04:44,540
[partygoers clamoring]
141
00:04:44,618 --> 00:04:47,118
Ooh, cake time!
142
00:04:47,204 --> 00:04:48,964
You best believe I'm gonna have a piece.
143
00:04:49,039 --> 00:04:50,919
I really hope it's not made
out of, like, pig's ass
144
00:04:50,999 --> 00:04:52,459
or some other French shit, you know?
145
00:04:52,543 --> 00:04:54,213
[clicks tongue] Wish me luck.
146
00:04:54,294 --> 00:04:56,094
Okay.
147
00:04:56,171 --> 00:04:57,551
CRICKET: I knew it.
148
00:04:57,631 --> 00:05:00,551
I knew we were never getting out of here.
149
00:05:00,634 --> 00:05:03,304
This is what we get
for following our stupid dreams.
150
00:05:03,387 --> 00:05:06,467
Hey, you pump the brakes
on that negative talk.
151
00:05:06,557 --> 00:05:10,227
We are the composers of our own epic poem.
152
00:05:10,310 --> 00:05:11,600
We are prisoners, Jann!
153
00:05:11,687 --> 00:05:12,647
This is it!
154
00:05:12,729 --> 00:05:13,899
This is the end of the line!
155
00:05:13,981 --> 00:05:15,441
The worst-case scenario!
156
00:05:15,524 --> 00:05:17,824
Is it? I mean, think about it.
157
00:05:17,901 --> 00:05:20,701
Eh, we're honing our craft
with unlimited budgets.
158
00:05:20,779 --> 00:05:22,909
We've apparently become
the talk of the town.
159
00:05:22,990 --> 00:05:25,410
And we've fallen into
a pretty lavish lifestyle.
160
00:05:25,492 --> 00:05:26,662
Oh, great!
161
00:05:26,743 --> 00:05:28,413
We're rich and famous... in Mexico.
162
00:05:28,495 --> 00:05:30,245
That wasn't the plan.
163
00:05:30,330 --> 00:05:33,170
Well, if you want to hear God laugh,
make a plan, am I right?
164
00:05:33,250 --> 00:05:35,540
Stop it! This isn't any time
for your jokes, okay?
165
00:05:35,627 --> 00:05:36,957
They're not funny!
166
00:05:37,045 --> 00:05:39,005
There is a crime being committed here.
167
00:05:39,089 --> 00:05:41,259
Yes, I'm aware of who we're working for.
168
00:05:41,341 --> 00:05:43,011
I don't give a shit about the cartel crap!
169
00:05:43,093 --> 00:05:45,973
The crime is that we are not
on TV, building our brand.
170
00:05:46,054 --> 00:05:48,774
And I think you and I both know
that is where we belong.
171
00:05:48,849 --> 00:05:50,059
I'm not gonna argue with you.
172
00:05:50,142 --> 00:05:51,642
But listen to me.
173
00:05:51,727 --> 00:05:53,477
You and I have been to hell and back.
174
00:05:53,562 --> 00:05:55,772
We got the T-shirt and the keychain.
175
00:05:55,856 --> 00:05:56,936
Yeah, we do.
176
00:05:57,024 --> 00:05:58,444
Yes, we're not on TV.
177
00:05:58,525 --> 00:06:00,185
But we have each other.
178
00:06:00,277 --> 00:06:01,897
And as long as we have that,
179
00:06:01,987 --> 00:06:04,777
our destiny is whatever we say it is.
180
00:06:04,865 --> 00:06:08,615
I love you so hard right now.
181
00:06:11,455 --> 00:06:14,285
RUMUALDO [over microphone]:
Jann, come to the back of the house.
182
00:06:14,374 --> 00:06:18,004
To... be... continued.
183
00:06:18,086 --> 00:06:19,796
RUMUALDO [over microphone]:
Amigos
184
00:06:19,880 --> 00:06:21,260
y familia, friends and family,
185
00:06:21,340 --> 00:06:22,420
I would like to thank you for coming
186
00:06:22,508 --> 00:06:24,338
to celebrate our beautiful
187
00:06:24,426 --> 00:06:26,426
Sofia's quinceañera.
188
00:06:28,639 --> 00:06:32,309
And in honor of, uh,
Sofia's emergence into womanhood,
189
00:06:32,392 --> 00:06:35,692
I have prepared a loving musical tribute.
190
00:06:35,771 --> 00:06:37,731
Sofia, this is for you.
191
00:06:37,814 --> 00:06:41,034
[music starts playing]
192
00:06:41,109 --> 00:06:44,199
♪ Who can turn the world on ♪
193
00:06:44,279 --> 00:06:46,319
♪ With her smile? ♪
194
00:06:48,617 --> 00:06:51,157
♪ Who can take a nothing day ♪
195
00:06:51,245 --> 00:06:54,705
♪ And suddenly make it all
seem worthwhile? ♪
196
00:06:54,790 --> 00:06:57,840
♪ Well, it's you, girl,
and you should know it ♪
197
00:06:57,918 --> 00:07:00,748
♪ With each glance
and every little movement ♪
198
00:07:00,838 --> 00:07:02,378
♪ You show it ♪
199
00:07:02,464 --> 00:07:04,844
♪ Love is all around,
no need to waste it ♪
200
00:07:04,925 --> 00:07:07,085
♪ You can have the town ♪
201
00:07:07,177 --> 00:07:09,467
♪ Why don't you take it? ♪
202
00:07:09,555 --> 00:07:13,475
♪ You're gonna make it after all ♪
203
00:07:16,103 --> 00:07:17,353
♪ Love is all around ♪
204
00:07:17,437 --> 00:07:19,357
♪ No need to waste it ♪
205
00:07:19,439 --> 00:07:23,529
♪ You can have the town,
why don't you take it? ♪
206
00:07:23,610 --> 00:07:26,990
♪ You're gonna make it after all ♪
207
00:07:30,325 --> 00:07:32,995
♪ You're gonna make it ♪
208
00:07:33,078 --> 00:07:35,618
♪ After ♪
209
00:07:35,706 --> 00:07:39,496
♪ All. ♪
210
00:07:44,464 --> 00:07:46,474
We're going to get supplies.
211
00:07:48,051 --> 00:07:49,971
[emotional music]
212
00:07:50,053 --> 00:07:52,813
♪
213
00:07:52,890 --> 00:07:54,890
[muttering]
214
00:07:56,894 --> 00:07:58,484
Sing pretty songs to each other
215
00:07:58,562 --> 00:08:00,192
while Cricket figures everything out,
fine!
216
00:08:00,272 --> 00:08:01,482
I'll take care of it.
217
00:08:01,565 --> 00:08:02,765
Always do!
218
00:08:09,990 --> 00:08:13,370
Motherfucker!
15479
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