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1
00:00:00,083 --> 00:00:02,793
CRICKET:
We'll install the subway tile
backsplash-- super classy--
2
00:00:02,878 --> 00:00:04,588
tear out your sad pantry
3
00:00:04,671 --> 00:00:06,341
to make room for the second dishwasher--
4
00:00:06,423 --> 00:00:07,803
your wife is gonna love that--
5
00:00:07,883 --> 00:00:09,053
and then to incorporate
6
00:00:09,134 --> 00:00:11,094
your new kitchen island, we're gonna
7
00:00:11,178 --> 00:00:13,508
have to blast out this wall-- ka-blam!
8
00:00:13,597 --> 00:00:15,767
And then we'll replace these
really outdated fixtures
9
00:00:15,849 --> 00:00:19,309
with brushed Italian brass throughout.
10
00:00:19,394 --> 00:00:22,194
Now, I could have a demo crew
to your house by...
11
00:00:22,272 --> 00:00:23,612
ooh, looks like early as Wednesday.
12
00:00:23,690 --> 00:00:25,190
Does 8:00 a.m. work for you?
13
00:00:25,275 --> 00:00:27,685
Look, like I said, I just need a faucet.
14
00:00:27,778 --> 00:00:29,148
-I don't need...
-Oh, listen, Scott.
15
00:00:29,238 --> 00:00:30,278
It's Dave.
16
00:00:30,364 --> 00:00:31,954
I jumped through so many hoops
17
00:00:32,032 --> 00:00:33,412
to do this for you.
18
00:00:33,492 --> 00:00:35,082
And I hate to be the one
to break it to you,
19
00:00:35,160 --> 00:00:37,370
but your problems run
a lot deeper than a faucet.
20
00:00:37,454 --> 00:00:40,624
So, let's not be stupid here, okay?
21
00:00:40,707 --> 00:00:42,417
Are you calling me stupid?
22
00:00:42,501 --> 00:00:45,251
Not at all. I'm just begging you
not to be stupid.
23
00:00:45,337 --> 00:00:46,457
(huffs)
24
00:00:46,547 --> 00:00:48,257
Cricket?
25
00:00:48,340 --> 00:00:50,550
I don't want to hear it, Terry.
I don't want to hear it, okay?
26
00:00:50,634 --> 00:00:54,514
You want a closer, you got to just back up
and let me do my job.
27
00:00:55,514 --> 00:00:57,274
Fine. Write me up again.
28
00:00:57,349 --> 00:00:58,679
I can't.
I've told you before
29
00:00:58,767 --> 00:01:00,767
about being rude
and abrasive to customers.
30
00:01:00,853 --> 00:01:02,313
You've maxed out your reprimands,
31
00:01:02,396 --> 00:01:03,806
your suspensions without pay.
32
00:01:03,897 --> 00:01:05,187
I'm-I'm out of tools.
33
00:01:05,274 --> 00:01:06,984
-Terry...
-Mm-mm.
34
00:01:07,067 --> 00:01:08,857
Oh, come on, man!
35
00:01:08,944 --> 00:01:11,074
I'm gonna need you to turn in your tag.
36
00:01:12,990 --> 00:01:15,410
Fine.
37
00:01:15,492 --> 00:01:18,202
TERRY:
The real one.
38
00:01:20,581 --> 00:01:21,921
Fine.
39
00:01:21,999 --> 00:01:23,579
But please give Wanda my position
40
00:01:23,667 --> 00:01:25,247
as senior design executive.
41
00:01:25,335 --> 00:01:26,915
'Cause she deserves it.
42
00:01:27,004 --> 00:01:28,924
I cannot do that,
because you made up that title,
43
00:01:29,006 --> 00:01:30,966
and then you wrote it on a name tag.
44
00:01:31,049 --> 00:01:33,509
Then I'll help you out.
Wanda, you just got promoted!
45
00:01:33,594 --> 00:01:34,974
-You go, girl!
-What?
46
00:01:35,053 --> 00:01:36,513
Y-You're not promoted, Wanda.
47
00:01:36,597 --> 00:01:38,057
-Okay.
-(Terry sighs)
48
00:01:39,558 --> 00:01:40,558
Wha...?
49
00:01:42,603 --> 00:01:44,023
Why you walking so funny?
50
00:01:47,524 --> 00:01:48,484
No, Cricket, don't!
51
00:01:48,567 --> 00:01:50,937
Okay, you made your point. No!
52
00:01:51,028 --> 00:01:52,238
Cricket!
53
00:01:52,321 --> 00:01:54,071
Real mature, Cricket.
I feel like you
54
00:01:54,156 --> 00:01:55,406
made the point with the first one--
55
00:01:59,119 --> 00:02:00,499
What?!
56
00:02:04,124 --> 00:02:06,044
♪ It's 1911 ♪
57
00:02:06,126 --> 00:02:07,746
♪ In New York City ♪
58
00:02:07,836 --> 00:02:10,506
♪ And I'm sewing shirts and socks ♪
59
00:02:10,589 --> 00:02:13,929
♪ But there's a fire in the warehouse ♪
60
00:02:14,009 --> 00:02:18,179
♪ And my skin is melting off ♪
61
00:02:18,263 --> 00:02:22,233
♪ There's a fire deep inside of me ♪
62
00:02:22,309 --> 00:02:24,729
♪ This is why we need labor reform... ♪
63
00:02:24,811 --> 00:02:26,731
No, no, no.
64
00:02:26,813 --> 00:02:30,403
Thomas, this is a song about
a boy who is literally on fire!
65
00:02:30,484 --> 00:02:32,364
You sound like a boy who's, like,
66
00:02:32,444 --> 00:02:34,864
choosing toppings for your froyo.
67
00:02:34,947 --> 00:02:36,157
Okay, now, show me engulfing.
68
00:02:36,240 --> 00:02:38,280
Come on, five, six, seven, eight.
69
00:02:39,618 --> 00:02:41,618
Come on, you call that engulfing?!
70
00:02:41,703 --> 00:02:43,373
What part of Guys and Dolls is this?
71
00:02:43,455 --> 00:02:46,995
Please forget Guys and Dolls,
you little dummy!
72
00:02:47,084 --> 00:02:48,794
I wrote you an original musical!
73
00:02:48,877 --> 00:02:51,667
A world premiere on your school stage!
74
00:02:51,755 --> 00:02:53,085
You're welcome.
(groans)
75
00:02:53,173 --> 00:02:54,843
God, now writhe!
76
00:02:54,925 --> 00:02:56,755
Come on, all you flames, get in here!
77
00:02:56,844 --> 00:02:58,144
Come on, get in here!
78
00:02:58,220 --> 00:03:00,470
Faster, faster!
More energy!
79
00:03:00,556 --> 00:03:01,516
Burn him!
80
00:03:01,598 --> 00:03:02,638
♪ There's a fire ♪
81
00:03:02,724 --> 00:03:03,854
Mr. Melfi?
82
00:03:03,934 --> 00:03:05,274
-♪ Deep inside of... ♪
-Mr. Melfi!
83
00:03:06,353 --> 00:03:08,063
Can I speak with you?
84
00:03:08,146 --> 00:03:09,976
It's art.
85
00:03:10,065 --> 00:03:13,315
It is a lawsuit waiting to happen.
86
00:03:13,402 --> 00:03:16,572
We're pulling the plug
on Children of the Fire.
87
00:03:16,655 --> 00:03:20,195
I wrote Children of the Fire
specifically for these students.
88
00:03:20,284 --> 00:03:21,204
I know, Jann.
89
00:03:21,285 --> 00:03:23,115
But the school board does not think
90
00:03:23,203 --> 00:03:26,293
Children of the Fire is appropriate
for 12- and 13-year-olds.
91
00:03:26,373 --> 00:03:29,463
Actual 12- and 13-year-olds
died in that factory fire.
92
00:03:29,543 --> 00:03:31,343
So, what could be more appropriate?
93
00:03:31,420 --> 00:03:33,050
The school board also thinks
94
00:03:33,130 --> 00:03:35,840
they need to go in
another direction creatively.
95
00:03:35,924 --> 00:03:38,304
So, what? I'm back to
directing Guys and Dolls?
96
00:03:38,385 --> 00:03:41,135
No, you are not directing anything.
97
00:03:46,018 --> 00:03:48,148
Et tu, Doug?
98
00:03:48,228 --> 00:03:50,398
Et tu?
99
00:03:52,482 --> 00:03:54,032
Okay.
100
00:03:54,109 --> 00:03:56,489
♪ ♪
101
00:04:03,160 --> 00:04:04,580
Okay, company.
102
00:04:04,661 --> 00:04:06,211
Rehearsals are done for today.
103
00:04:06,288 --> 00:04:07,748
(footsteps stomping)
104
00:04:17,966 --> 00:04:19,886
JANN:
He inferred
105
00:04:19,968 --> 00:04:21,598
that my choreography...
(swallows)
106
00:04:21,678 --> 00:04:23,718
was inappropriate and abusive.
107
00:04:23,805 --> 00:04:25,095
I mean, no, Doug.
108
00:04:25,182 --> 00:04:27,182
Abusive is making those kids
109
00:04:27,267 --> 00:04:30,557
do fucking Guys and fucking Dolls
for the 18th time.
110
00:04:30,646 --> 00:04:31,896
Well, yeah, I mean...
111
00:04:31,980 --> 00:04:33,190
Those idiots,
112
00:04:33,273 --> 00:04:35,733
they can't comprehend your vision, right?
113
00:04:35,817 --> 00:04:37,487
I mean, they're bureaucrats.
114
00:04:37,569 --> 00:04:39,239
It's like me at Fair & Square.
115
00:04:39,321 --> 00:04:41,201
Terry says that I am rude
116
00:04:41,281 --> 00:04:43,241
and abrasive to the customers?
(huffs)
117
00:04:43,325 --> 00:04:45,405
You're trying to turn
that customer's life around,
118
00:04:45,494 --> 00:04:47,414
and Terry called you "abrasive"?
119
00:04:47,496 --> 00:04:49,666
-Mm-hmm, mm-hmm.
-Oh, your gifts were wasted there.
120
00:04:49,748 --> 00:04:52,208
Well, hey, talk about wasted talents.
121
00:04:52,292 --> 00:04:54,802
I tell you what, if you put
122
00:04:54,878 --> 00:04:56,668
Children of the Fire
up on Broadway,
123
00:04:56,755 --> 00:04:58,165
it would run for a hundred years.
124
00:04:58,257 --> 00:04:59,927
But, unfortunately, our schools
125
00:05:00,008 --> 00:05:02,138
are in the business
of teaching mediocrity.
126
00:05:02,219 --> 00:05:04,559
Yeah. We're both nailed
to the same cross, my love.
127
00:05:04,638 --> 00:05:06,468
(Cricket sighs)
128
00:05:06,557 --> 00:05:08,267
Jann, is this it for us?
129
00:05:08,350 --> 00:05:10,770
I mean, is this just our life now?
130
00:05:10,853 --> 00:05:12,773
We're destined to be
two people with vision
131
00:05:12,855 --> 00:05:14,265
living amongst the blind?
132
00:05:14,356 --> 00:05:15,816
I don't know.
133
00:05:15,899 --> 00:05:17,819
It's like the system is rigged against us.
134
00:05:17,901 --> 00:05:19,951
It's the only explanation.
135
00:05:20,028 --> 00:05:21,778
(groans)
136
00:05:21,864 --> 00:05:23,744
Here we go, the master suite.
137
00:05:23,824 --> 00:05:26,794
-Speaking of mediocrity,
look at these two yahoos.
-(groans)
138
00:05:26,869 --> 00:05:28,789
-Your new living area...
-Yeah.
139
00:05:28,871 --> 00:05:30,081
...is open concept
140
00:05:30,163 --> 00:05:31,713
-with organic flow,
-(woman laughs)
141
00:05:31,790 --> 00:05:34,420
coffer ceilings,
maple-floating hardwood floors,
142
00:05:34,501 --> 00:05:36,801
and built-ins with plenty of shelf space.
143
00:05:36,879 --> 00:05:39,879
Oh, and, Dylan,
we kept your hunting trophy.
144
00:05:39,965 --> 00:05:41,505
(chuckling):
Oh, man!
145
00:05:41,592 --> 00:05:43,012
-Oh, he's so...
-(imitates shotgun firing)
146
00:05:43,093 --> 00:05:44,223
Deer antlers?
147
00:05:44,303 --> 00:05:46,143
Holy Jesus, Tiffany!
148
00:05:46,221 --> 00:05:48,851
Your Botox is bleeding into your brain.
149
00:05:48,932 --> 00:05:51,142
-Who is dressing Tiffany?
-I don't know!
150
00:05:51,226 --> 00:05:52,636
That magenta blouse?
151
00:05:52,728 --> 00:05:54,478
It's like Dollar Shot Night at Hooters.
152
00:05:54,563 --> 00:05:55,943
CRICKET:
That is the bleakest
153
00:05:56,023 --> 00:05:57,903
dining room I have ever seen in my life.
154
00:05:57,983 --> 00:06:00,073
What a freakin' disaster!
155
00:06:00,152 --> 00:06:01,782
JANN:
What is with that
156
00:06:01,862 --> 00:06:03,282
horrible mirror on the wall?
157
00:06:03,363 --> 00:06:05,663
It looks like Liberace's butthole.
158
00:06:05,741 --> 00:06:08,581
Ready, and... boom!
159
00:06:09,953 --> 00:06:11,793
CRICKET:
Oh, my God! Seriously?
160
00:06:11,872 --> 00:06:14,122
TIFFANY:
Modern California indoor,
outdoor lounging cabanas...
161
00:06:14,208 --> 00:06:16,788
That looks like
the visiting area of a prison!
162
00:06:16,877 --> 00:06:18,167
-(woman laughs)
-I know, right?
163
00:06:18,253 --> 00:06:19,593
This is our home!
I can't believe it.
164
00:06:19,671 --> 00:06:20,631
-Thank you!
-Come on, come on.
165
00:06:20,714 --> 00:06:22,344
Look at that-- tears of joy.
166
00:06:22,424 --> 00:06:23,384
Uh-huh, yeah.
167
00:06:23,467 --> 00:06:24,797
This is all totally scripted.
168
00:06:24,885 --> 00:06:25,885
-It has to be.
-Bullshit!
169
00:06:25,969 --> 00:06:27,429
-I mean, those are actors.
-Bullshit.
170
00:06:27,513 --> 00:06:29,183
Until next time...
171
00:06:29,264 --> 00:06:30,604
When you need the pros...
172
00:06:30,682 --> 00:06:32,642
BOTH:
call the Connellys.
173
00:06:34,144 --> 00:06:36,234
How do you two even
have your own show?!
174
00:06:36,313 --> 00:06:38,273
(panting)
175
00:06:38,357 --> 00:06:40,357
I'm sorry.
176
00:06:43,070 --> 00:06:45,280
I can't handle getting another job.
177
00:06:45,364 --> 00:06:48,414
I can't take being oppressed
like that again.
178
00:06:48,492 --> 00:06:49,992
Same. Every job I take,
179
00:06:50,077 --> 00:06:53,207
I am surrounded by
just armies of dipshits.
180
00:06:53,288 --> 00:06:55,368
This is not our destiny, Cricket.
181
00:06:55,457 --> 00:06:57,377
I, for the life of me,
don't understand why
182
00:06:57,459 --> 00:06:59,289
those two have their own show
and we're sitting around
183
00:06:59,378 --> 00:07:02,208
eating microwave lasagna
with the rent past due.
184
00:07:02,297 --> 00:07:05,007
I wish I had the answer for you, my love.
185
00:07:05,092 --> 00:07:07,302
I think people are just intimidated by us,
186
00:07:07,386 --> 00:07:10,216
'cause we're ahead of our time.
187
00:07:10,305 --> 00:07:12,465
What are we gonna do, Jann?
188
00:07:12,558 --> 00:07:14,938
Well, we can't go back to my sister's.
189
00:07:15,018 --> 00:07:17,598
-The restraining order is...
-Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
190
00:07:17,688 --> 00:07:19,608
-What is this?
-ANNOUNCER (on TV):
We're looking for
191
00:07:19,690 --> 00:07:22,360
Home Renovation TV's next dynamic duo.
192
00:07:22,442 --> 00:07:23,902
Do you have a creative vision?
193
00:07:23,986 --> 00:07:25,816
Are your ideas out of this world?
194
00:07:25,904 --> 00:07:28,534
Do you have a passion for
building and home renovations?
195
00:07:28,615 --> 00:07:30,365
Then we want to see what you got.
196
00:07:30,450 --> 00:07:32,660
Submit your house renovation video
197
00:07:32,744 --> 00:07:36,544
to HRTV by April 30th
to enter our contest.
198
00:07:36,623 --> 00:07:38,423
Winners will be given their own show here
199
00:07:38,500 --> 00:07:40,590
on Home Renovation TV.
200
00:07:40,669 --> 00:07:43,089
♪ ♪
14290
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