All language subtitles for Columbo - 09x06 - Murder in Malibu.DVDRip.English.HI.orig.Addic7ed.com

Will you marry me?

I'll try to decide
quicker, Wayne.

I hate you.

(GUN FIRING)

NARRATOR: Tonight, on Columbo.

This is Wayne,
the man she said
she was going to marry.

He is?

Who are you?

I'm a detective.

Like some?

Anytime.

There can't be any
connection between her
deciding to get married

and her being dead,
could there?

Good luck in Palm Springs.

Because you didn't kill
her either, did you?
Well, did you?

That's it,
I know who did it.

(GIRLS CHATTERING)

(ALL EXCLAIMING EXCITEDLY)

HELEN: Look at this.
Limousines, giggling
women.

(EXCLAIMS IN DISGUST)
My God.

All that excitement
over nothing but a book.

Nobody but a writer.

WAYNE:
Hey, where you going?
My car's down the next alley.

After everything
I've heard about her,

I want to see what she
looks like in the flesh.

Why she's such
a big deal to you.

Romance novels.

Helen,
would you
wait a minute?

Isn't it wonderful how
photographers can
touch people up?

I mean, what is she really?
49, 50? 55?

So, she really is pretty.

Wouldn't you know.

Well, here.
I've got to get
back to the office.

Hey, no, no, no, no.
Why don't you hang
onto the ring?

Might make you
feel more comfortable in
some other hotel, sometime.

Don't you dare
make fun of me!

Helen! It was beautiful.
Really.

I never
had my taxes
done so nicely.

(GUSHES)

Yeah, part-time computers
shouldn't complain, right?

Just peddle the insurance.

Not for long.
Soon as I become
head of my own studio,

I'm gonna make you
VP of business affairs.

Oh, yeah, sure you will.

You want to bet?

You want to bet how soon?

I don't
bet with people
who owe me money.

Look...
Good luck in Palm Springs.

Damn you.

Here you go, sir.
I'll take those for you.

I hope
you enjoy the book.

Excuse me.

Oh, look out.

Wayne. Finally.

I saw your
car in the alley,

but no one could tell me
when you were gonna be here,

when I'd actually see you.

Welcome home, kid.

THERESA: I did hope
you might change your mind
and meet me at the airport.

WAYNE: What?
With all those agents and
PR people there? No, thanks.

Even if
I hadn't been tied up
with my tax guy all morning.

Anyway, I thought
Mavis would be there
to handle your baggage.

Wayne, darling, you
don't have to explain.

If you'll just tell me
where you were Monday night.

I tried
calling you
twice from Denver.

Once after supper and then
just before I went to bed.

Monday. That's the night
I got a call from my agent,

had to rush into town to
read for a part in a movie.

(EXCLAIMS IN DELIGHT)

Wayne, that's wonderful.

Oh, but when would
you be going to work?

Because my book
tour is really over,

except for a couple of
appearances in LA, but if
you're going to go to work...

Hey,
I haven't even
got the part yet.

Oh, that's good.
Then on Sunday let's
fly to the islands, to Maui.

Just the two of us.

No one
will even know
or care who we are.

Terrific.

No wait, not Sunday.

If I reach the finals,
I could still be in
Palm Springs.

Palm Springs?

Didn't I tell you?

I'm going to pinch-hit in the
celebrity tennis tournament
down there.

Isn't that great?

Oh, no. You can't.

Oh, it's a terrific
opportunity.

Rocca, the producer of
that picture is gonna
be down there, too.

You don't have
to be an actor. Not with
everything else you can do.

Honey,
it leads to
better things.

Don't you realize
I've been gone
six weeks?

Yes, but you're
home now. Come on.

You're worn out.
You need a massage.

Hey, I got the pool
all heated up for you.

Wayne, you can't just
go off every time some...

Look, what do you think?

The petunias.

Well, I borrowed an extra
gardener from Mrs. Shannon
to help get them in on time.

That is the color
you wanted, isn't it?

And I put the bluebonnets
in myself.

Matches the dress you were
wearing when I first saw you.

(SIGHS) They're the most
beautiful petunias I've
ever seen.

Mrs. Shannon
still seems to think
I'm just your house sitter.

I'm not surprised.

You know,
the poor dear is
as deaf as a post.

Relax your shoulders.

Wayne, what's really wrong?
What haven't you told me yet?

Why are you running off
the minute I come home?

I'm not running away.
I'll be back Tuesday
at the latest.

Don't lie to me.
I told you I'd never
tie a rope around you,

but in the last six weeks
did you, maybe, meet someone?

For God's sake, it wasn't
six weeks, it was six years.

There wasn't a single day or
night I didn't wish that
you'd gone with me.

You could have.

As what?
Your bodyguard?

Theresa, will you marry me?

Please.

You promised you
wouldn't say it again
till the end of summer

and not until
I've thought it out.

So I'm a liar.
I can't help it.

But I just think of
all the time we're wasting

when we could be diving for
treasure in the Aegean like
we talked about

or making a film
of your latest...
Oh, no, please...

...book in the
south of France.
...please stop. Stop.

There's so many differences.
Not just age, but so many
things to consider.

No, I won't stop.

And to hell with
what anyone else says.

The only thing
I can't stand is
this living with you

and living without
you at the same time.

I'll try to decide
quicker, Wayne.

I will.

(RINGING)

Hello.
WOMAN: When can you be here?

Hey, I told you
never to call me here.

You are coming,
aren't you?

Yes, of course
I'll be there.
I'm just leaving.

Well, did you ask her?

My husband
is so excited
about the possibility

of getting the rights
to one of her books,

like you suggested.

First things first.
That was just talk.

Right now I've got
other things in mind.

So have I.
Only hurry up, will you?

THERESA: Wayne?

Oh, that's all right,
no problem.

Wayne?

Who was it?

Just a wrong number.

Oh, couldn't you stay
just another half hour?

I don't have to
get dressed until...

Honey, in Tahiti, we would
never have to get dressed.

Mmm, I gotta run.
I'll call you.

Ms. Goren, why haven't
you ever been married?

(ALL AGREEING)

I just...

I was always
too busy, I guess.

Well, my work
really does interfere.

You think it's easy
to write 24 books?

To have three of those
on the bestseller list
at the same time?

Do you know
how long it takes
just to read 24 books?

Not to mention
all those trips back
and forth to the bank.

(ALL LAUGHING)

Sir, sir.
Have you read
all of her books?

My hair stylist has.

You, the lady
with the beads.

Ms. Goren,
I've noticed
that your heroines

could be lots of us,
or I hope so.

But where
do you find models
for these terrific guys,

who would
rather look at you
instead of themselves?

Well, my mother
used to drag us to
old Errol Flynn movies,

and I think
I must have read
Ivanhoe 50 times.

You mean, you just made
up all those faithful,
brave,

unselfish heroes?
I mean, no models at all?

But that's what
a romance novel
is, isn't it?

What you wish life were like,
instead of the way it really
is.

WOMAN: Wait. Wait!

Ms. Goren,
I don't believe you.

Because I was in
that bookstore today,

and right after
you signed this, I saw you
talking to this gorgeous hunk.

(ALL EXCLAIMING)

And I noticed he had
the longest lashes over
those beautiful blue eyes.

Well, right here
on Page 87 it says,

"He had long lashes and
tangled hair, the color
of chestnuts in autumn.

"Beneath them,
the eyes of her love,
the blue of the sky."

(ALL EXCLAIMING)

Was that the same man
that I saw you with in the
Enquirer picture last month?

WOMAN: Tell us, Theresa.

Oh, all right, yes.
He's a friend of mine.

But what about
those eyelashes?

Hey, what's going on here?

They're for Ms. Goren,
sir.

Oh, yeah. Sure they are.
Honey, who put you up
to this?

USHER: Oh,
that's a secret.

TV HOST: Speak of
the devil, maybe?

WOMAN 1:
Come on, tell us.

WOMAN 2: He must be
madly in love with you.

Why shouldn't I tell you?

He just says
that he misses me
already, that's all.

(ALL SIGHING)

He always
says the right thing,
does the right thing.

He, he, he.
Who is he?

(ALL CLAPPING)

(GIGGLES)

His name is Wayne.
Wayne Jennings.

Uh-oh.

(THERESA GIGGLING)

It's just me
I'm laughing at,

because, I mean,
why shouldn't I
make up my mind?

Why shouldn't
everybody know?

It's Wayne Jennings
I love, and...

I've just decided
I'm going to marry
him as soon as I can.

(INTERCOM BUZZES)

Yes, Jess?

JESS: Take your
butt off the desk
and get me Charlie Fisher.

(RINGING)

Hello?
JESS: Charlie.

Yeah, Jess, I...
I thought you were
meant to be watching him.

Well,
no, of course,
I was watching...

What is going on?
What's he been up to?

Now, look.

I barely had a chance
to get my little book
on the guy started.

I don't need
the full rundown.

It's not a full rundown.

What have you got on
him now that I can use?

Jess, take it easy.
I'm sure I'll have
more on him later.

Well, you'd better.

Don't mess
with the details,
just get me what I need.

Get me what I need!
You're the boss.

Yeah, I'll get it
right over to you.

Boy.

(PHONE RINGING)

Hello?

THERESA:
Hello, Wayne.

Hi, it's you.

Yeah, I tried to call
you earlier, I guess
you were asleep.

Just a minute, let me
get this phone untangled.

That's better.

I was a little late
getting down here
tonight.

I hit a rock and
had some tire trouble.

Oh,
and I missed
your broadcast.

It wasn't on here,
anyway, because of
the tennis matches.

Then I got hung up
with some guys at the club.

I didn't hear what you
said about marrying me
until about 2:00 a.m.

From a bartender,
of all people.

(LAUGHS) And everybody
started buying champagne.

Oh, honey, I love you.

I love you so much.

Shut up, you bastard.

What?

I'll never marry you.
I'm not a fool.

Theresa,
what's wrong, sweetheart?

Have you been drinking?

Have you been talking to
that meddling sister of
yours again?

No!

I don't believe you.

Listen,
you get some sleep.

I'm coming
home tomorrow night.
We'll talk about it.

No, don't. I'm flying
to Seattle tomorrow.

I despise you!
You're a joke!

I hate you! I hate you!

(DIAL TONE DRONING)

(PHONE RINGING)

HELEN ON ANSWERING MACHINE:
Hello, this is Helen speaking.

I'm not in right now.

But if you'll leave
your name, a phone number

and when is
the best time
to reach you,

I'll get back to you
as soon as I can.

(BEEPS)
Thanks for calling.

WAYNE: Helen, it's me,
Wayne. I just stopped
in town for some gas.

I hope you can hear me,
there's crazy traffic
on the freeway.

Listen, my plans are changed.
I'm on my way back to
Theresa's place.

I'll call you later
when I get a chance,
okay?

(GUN FIRING)

You think I've
time for breakfast?

My watch says 7:15,
is that right?

Great. Thanks, Mavis.

Well, I'll see you
out at the house in about
an hour and a half or so.

Oh, Mavis?

Just don't tell Theresa
I'm coming.

Like some?

Anytime.

Oh,
what a nice way
to start the day.

Columbo. Columbo.

Schultz.

Don't know why
they bothered you,
it's pretty routine.

Well, the Captain sent me out.

He was a personal friend
of Ms. Goren's.

You better
hold it up there, boys.
He probably wants a look.

You moved the body?

Well,
nobody told me
you were coming.

Wonderful.

She was
found in the study
near her open safe.

No rigor mortis yet,
but cooling probably
happened at dawn.

She was shot
once in the back
and once in the head,

probably a small caliber.
Both bullets still inside.

She was shot at
close range, there,

you could see
the skull fragmentation.

You got a picture of her
position when you found
her?

Yeah, some place.

Any other
marks on her body?

I didn't see any.

No other marks.

Those men's socks?

No, Lieutenant,
they're ladies.

They're called knee socks.

Knee socks?

Here's the picture,
Lieutenant.

Oh, thank you very much.

Would you do me
a favor, please?

Sure.

Would you get
rid of these shells?
Thank you very much.

Okay, fellows,
you can take it away.

Shoes, a robe,
panties, bra...

And knee socks.

Very good. Would
you care to step inside
now and look at the safe?

Ah, I would.
Thank you very much.

Follow me.

This is it, real antique.

Not much security,
but plenty fireproof.

Ms. Goren used it mostly
to keep her manuscripts in.

She also kept
some jewelry in here.
About $100,000 worth,

according to
her secretary,
and it is gone.

Her secretary is here?

Right. She's the one
who found the body when she
came in a little before 8:00.

I see. Did she notice
anything else missing?
Just the jewelry, huh?

Well, only the gun, so far.

The gun?

Ms. Goren's. Little pistol
she kept in the drawer here.

How do you know that?

Her secretary told us.
We found it open. No gun.

Oh, makes sense.

What about this drawer?

Was this also
open a little bit?

Uh, yeah.
You see, the way I see it,

she got up early and
she was getting dressed.

She started to
turn on the TV.

Now, when we got
here, it was still on.
But there was no sound.

I think
maybe she heard something,
she got a little frightened.

She went here
and she got the gun

and she started to
look around the house.

She went
downstairs,
into the study,

found someone
going through
the safe.

Now, any guy with
a little experience can
open an old-timer like that.

COLUMBO:
Any guy? What guy?

The thief.
He obviously got the
gun away from her and...

What the hell
are you looking at?

Oh, it's nothing. Panties.

Turns out my wife wears
the same brand as Ms. Goren.

So, it was a robbery
that went bad.

Okay.

What about
prints on the safe?

Just Ms. Goren's
and they're smeared.

Same on the dial.

Whoever opened the safe last
must have been wearing gloves.

Like I told you,
professional thief.

(WHIMPERING)

Secretary's name is Mavis.
But she's still a little
upset.

You know, Schultz.
I gotta say, you have this
thing very well organized.

Thank you.

Oh, look at that.

SCHULTZ: What?

Now, that's interesting.

That's where he got in,
that's all. There's no
prints there either.

No, no, I mean that
a professional could
open a safe that cleanly

and have
to break glass to
open a French door.

It's the quickest way.

Anyway,
maybe he forced
her to open the safe.

What difference does it make?

But my nephew
could open this
with a Boy Scout knife.

Will you please
come on outside?

I got some guys looking
for footprints. Come on.

Oh, excuse me, ma'am.
I know how badly you
must feel.

I want to say,
I know what a fine
woman Ms. Goren was.

My wife read
every one of
her books.

How long were
you with her?

Many years.

Well,
maybe you can help me.

You must have
known her habits.

I noticed that she was
wearing white socks and I
thought they were men's socks.

They were knee socks.
They were her dressy ones.

I see.
Well, they
caught me off-guard.

I didn't expect that
and I was wondering,
did she often wear...

No, no, of course not.

They're more comfortable
with slacks.

Ah, with slacks.
Now, I understand.

One more thing, ma'am.
Is there an ashtray
around?

I'd like
to get rid of
these eggshells.

Yes, of course.
WAYNE: Oh, my God!

Um, just a minute.

Wayne.

I'm so sorry.
I am so sorry.

(SOBBING) I'm so sorry.

MAVIS: How awful
for you this must be.

WAYNE: It's okay, Mavis.

I'm all right, really.
I'm so sorry. No, no.

Honey, you
just take it easy.
I'll be just fine.

WOMAN: Ms. Thompson,
I brought your coffee.

You go ahead.
I'll be all right.

I guess
you're Ms. Goren's
tennis instructor.

Who are you?
MAVIS: Oh, no.

Didn't you see Ms. Goren
on television last night?
This is Wayne.

Wayne Jennings.
The man she said
she was going to marry.

He is?

Oh.

No, there isn't
going to be a wedding.

Look, honey,
can I call you back?

I don't want
to explain.
I just got in.

Something's happened.

Well, if I tell you what,
you're just gonna print
it wrong, damn you.

And I don't know yet myself!

(SIGHS)

(PHONE RINGING)

Call back later.

Oh, Captain, I'm sorry.
I didn't know it was you.

Yes, I got your
dreadful message.

No, no, I do thank you,

and I know you'll do
everything you can
to help.

Yes, I'm on my way now.

The garage
is bringing your car up.
They'll have it out front.

Mickey, just say
I didn't get in yet.
You don't know anything.

And stop bawling!

(SOBS)

All right.

(PHONE RINGING)

Jess McCurdy Agency.

Oh, you finding
lots of fingerprints?

Oh. How do you do, sir?

Fingerprints?
No, sir, nothing.

But if
a guy came in here,
professional thief,

and he had to pass all
these beautiful things,

isn't it strange that
he wouldn't just pick one
up and put it in his pocket?

Yeah, it is strange.

It is strange,
isn't it, sir?

Oh, Mr. Jennings, I hope
you'll forgive me for
assuming

you were
a tennis instructor.

I just didn't know.

It's quite all right,
Lieutenant.

What are you?
A professional player?

There are other things in life
besides tennis, Lieutenant.
It's only a game.

Actually, I was down
in Palm Springs playing
a celebrity tournament.

Oh. Celebrity tournament.
I see. I understand, sir.

Uh, I was wondering...

Is there an ashtray
here, sir? I'd like to
get rid of these eggshells.

There's an ashtray
right on the table.

What's the matter, sir?

It's gone.

Oh, God.

You may be
right about that guy,
Lieutenant, the killer.

There was
a green Buddha
with gold filigree.

It sat right here.
You can't miss it.

Green?
Yes, jade. Real jade.

It was a gift from one
of Theresa's fans,
some maharani.

Well, I don't know
anything about jade.

Well, neither do I.
But a professional
thief might.

And I do know it was
insured for $25,000.

$25,000?

Did you hear that?
You better start
looking.

I'll check
the other rooms.

Mr. Jennings,
I can see that you
can be a big help here

and we do have to
know anything that
might be missing.

Now, I noticed that
there's a room upstairs

with
a little men's
clothing in it.

That's my room.

Oh, you live here?

Yes, does that shock you?

Oh, no, sir, no.

Uh, could we look around?

If you'd like to snoop.
Please.

Be my guest.

Boy, she sure fixed
this up nice for you.

Not an easy job,
considering all the
junk I dragged in.

You mean,

you caught this thing?

WAYNE: Cabo San Lucas.

Over 100 pounds
on a 10-pound
test line.

You don't say.

Wow.

Hey, that's you
on the mountain,
too?

The one
on the left
is my Sherpa.

I'm the one on top.

And skydiving?
That's you?

Yes, and that's
me on the yacht.

I was
crewing a race
down in New Zealand.

Wow.

I mean,
for a man
as young as you

and to manage to
do all these things

and still find time to,
well, earn a living and all.

I thought you just wanted to
know if anything was missing
in here, Lieutenant.

(POLICE RADIO CHATTERING)

Who is this lady?

It's Jess McCurdy.

McCurdy?
Oh, that's her agent.

Her sister.

(SIGHS) Oh, Jess,
I'm so terribly,
terribly sorry.

Cut the crap.
I've been told
what happened.

Why aren't you
in Palm Springs?

I got a call
late last night.

Someone telling me what
Theresa had said on TV

and I just wanted
to come back here
and surprise her.

Surprise her?

Of course.
To be with her!

The hell with tennis.

Jess, I was
the happiest
guy in the world.

(EXHALES)

Ask Mavis,
I called her at
7:15 this morning

on my way through LA.

I told her not to tell
Theresa. I just wanted
it to be a surprise.

(SIGHING LOUDLY)

God, if only
I hadn't stopped
in town for breakfast

or to pick up
all these flowers.

Look. See for yourself.

(SIGHING)

I stopped
at a nursery.

I bought
every flower
in the place.

Wayne, didn't you
know that Theresa
was going to Seattle

for another book party?

No. Not until I talked
to Mavis this morning
on the phone.

(SIGHS) She said
Theresa was going
up this afternoon,

so I just figured
I'd fly up with her.

I even had this
all ready.

It was my grandmother's
wedding ring.

(CLEARS THROAT)

You know,
I've got sort of
a classic car, too.

Not like this one, though.

This is
a real beauty.

I notice you
got two new tires.

(SIGHS)

Imports.
Brand-new imports.

I sure
could use
one of those.

A pair, Lieutenant.
You should always
buy tires in pairs.

I bought those
last night.

I had a blowout
on the way down
to the Springs.

Oh.

Say, you don't mind
if I just feel the wheel?

Is that all right?
Sure.

You know,
I never actually sat
in one of these before.

Oh, Mr. Jennings.

This is sure some car.

How long would it take

say from Palm Springs
in a road burner like this?

(SIGHS)

It depends on traffic.

Oh, the traffic, right.

Right.

And that's all you
found here by the safe?

Her draft pages from
the last manuscript?

That's all there was,
her secretary thinks,
except for the jewelry.

You didn't happen
to notice

a little black book.

You know, the type
that a writer might
keep notes in.

Um, it could have been
anywhere in the house.

The bedroom
or somewhere else.

I'm afraid not.

We've gone through
the whole house.

A little
black book?
Is it important?

No, no, I was
just wondering...

Who are you?

I'm a detective.

That's Lieutenant Columbo.
He's in charge of the case.

You don't say.

Well, if my sister was
killed by some lunatic
thief,

why aren't you out
looking for him,
Lieutenant?

Oh, I'm on my way
right now, Ms. McCurdy.

And don't you worry,

because if I don't find
your sister's killer quick,

my wife might never let
me back in my house again.

So, I'll just get
out of your way now.

COLUMBO: Oh,
but Mr. Jennings,

you've already
been such a help,

I wonder
if you would
mind showing me

around the
neighborhood
a little bit, too.

(SIGHS)

Well, go on!
Do it!

(SIGHS)

What's his name?

Oh, you poor boy.

Mrs. Shannon,
the Lieutenant
just wants to know

if you've seen any
strangers down here lately.

Specifically this morning,
was there anyone around?

Only it doesn't
have to be a stranger.

Or maybe there
was a car you heard?

What?

Or saw, I mean.

Ah!

(LAUGHING)
I don't get up
early. I'm no jogger.

Oh, Wayne.
How can you stand it?

Maybe around dawn?

Or a little earlier,
maybe?

Mr. Jennings says
you and your husband
go running sometimes.

Oh, yeah,
we do several
miles every day.

Mostly down
at the beach, but...

Oh, on the way down
there and back, this
morning? Uh...

Nobody, I guess.

Or a car?
Maybe a car?

No, no,
I'm positive,
Lieutenant.

There was nothing.

Ah, but you
said that you were
an early morning riser,

just like Ms. Goren was.

Oh, well,
the trouble is,
this morning I overslept.

Father didn't waken me
the way he usually does.

Isn't that right,
Father?

Why should I?
Damn snow kept up
for over half an hour.

Snow? Here?

On the TV.

She missed her yoga,
I missed the early news.

We're on cable.

They always seem
to work on it first
thing in the morning.

Are you saying that
maybe there was some men

from the
cable company
working in this area?

Maybe, hell!
We're always having
trouble. Right, Wayne?

Now, that's enough
about trouble, Father.

Wayne,
wouldn't you
like to sit down?

I'm sure
the Lieutenant
wouldn't mind waiting

while I fixed
you a cup of tea.

Lieutenant,
you are welcome.

No, no, but that's
all right for him.

Thank you, ma'am.
Excuse me.

I really
can't stay either.
Maybe some other time?

Oh, yeah. Okay.

MAN:
Oh, we got out there
a little bit before dawn.

There's a cable terminal
on that road,

which fans out to
all those houses.

That's where
the trouble was.

What about cars?
Did you see any
other cars?

No, I don't think so.

Least, I didn't
notice any headlights,

even after
it had lightened up.
No, I'm sure that...

Not even cars that
seemed to belong in
this neighborhood?

Not this morning.

What about people, then?

Oh, some days you see
a man and a woman in
sweats

headed for the beach.

But it's a quiet area.

It's the ones that are
different that you notice.

Like yesterday, I saw
a man wandering around
with field glasses,

but that was much later.
I figured he was
bird-watching.

Nobody
like that this morning.

Bird-watcher?
On private property?

Look,
here's our work log.

The times are on it.

We were
parked here
about 40 minutes.

So this could
be a big help.

But I was at the controls.

It was my partner
who was up there
in the basket.

Well, I'll be
back to see him.

Now, I'm gonna
go watch a little TV.

But where do
you find models for
these terrific guys

who would
rather look at you
instead of themselves?

(ALL LAUGHING)

Well, my mother
used to drag us to
old Errol Flynn movies.

And I think I must have
read Ivanhoe 50 times.

WOMAN 1: You mean,
you just made up all
those faithful, brave,

unselfish heroes?
I mean, no models
at all?

TV HOST:
But that's what...

(TAPE SQUEAKING)

THERESA:
He's a friend of mine.

TV HOST: But what about
those eyelashes?

Lieutenant?
Yeah.

When my secretary
called and said you
wanted to see this,

I was quite agreeable.

Now she tells me,
you keep rerunning it,

over and over.

She's so pretty.

THERESA:
I was always
too busy, I guess.

Would you mind
turning down the sound?

Oh, sure.
What button is it?

TV HOST: To have three of
those on the bestseller list
at the same time...

Now, what I said was
that your baby sister,

she's so beautiful.

Theresa was only
two years younger
than I, Lieutenant.

Oh, look,
I didn't mean...

Nah, you know, I had
this younger brother,

he was like a year
and seven months
younger than me,

but I called him baby,
so did everybody else.

So I just said that
automatically.

Never mind.
But you're right, of course.

She never had
a facelift either.

Facelift? Her?

(CHUCKLING)

She's a natural beauty.

And she's so sweet
to everybody.

Look,
even when they ask
her dumb questions,

look how sweet she is.

Lieutenant, I thought
you were out looking
for her killer?

Oh, I am, ma'am.

There's just some things
that I want to learn
about her first.

Like what?

Like she never
quite ever grew up,

never stopped
talking to strangers.

Was always the fairy
princess in the family.

Except that hasn't
bothered me since
high school,

when she got
all the dates and won
all the English prizes.

Because I discovered
I knew how to make money,

for everybody.

And she discovered
just how much she
needed me.

Excuse me, ma'am.
It's just this
part here.

His name is Wayne.
Wayne Jennings.

(GIGGLING)

It's her
and him that
I'm curious about,

because I've
been noticing,
this Mr. Jennings,

he sure knows how to
get along with women.

Oh, please!

All except you,
that is.

Well, would you want
your sister to marry

someone that
much younger,

without a real job,

without a future,
with no money?

This Wayne,
he has nothing.

You know,
I was wondering
about that. Money.

I mean, she must have
had quite a bit of it.

But now,
he's not gonna get any,

unless there's
maybe some insurance.

Insurance?
Well, I just noticed that

people who travel a lot,

they always seem
to have a lot of
extra policies.

As far as I know, I'm her
sole beneficiary, Lieutenant.

Well, yeah,
that's what I mean.

So, there can't
be any connection

between her deciding
to get married and
her being dead,

could there?

(TAPE RESUMES)

THERESA:
It's Wayne Jennings I love

and I've just decided
I'm going to marry him...

All right, Lieutenant,
are you trying to tell me

that there's a possibility
it wasn't a thief who
killed my sister?

Oh, no, ma'am, I'm not
suggesting anything yet.

I haven't even seen the
preliminary lab report.
No...

Would you like to know
why I didn't approve
of Wayne,

why I thought he was
so terribly, terribly
wrong for my sister?

Would you like to hear
what I know about him?

Make yourself comfortable.

Because it'll take
a very long time to

go through each
one of these stories...

(PHONE RINGING)

Honey,
don't bother me now.

Oh.

(CHUCKLES) It's for you.

That other lieutenant.

Schultz,
don't bother me now.

All right, so you
found a bird-watcher.

So what
if he won't talk?

Well, tell me
about it later.

Just hold everything,
wait for me.

I think
I'll talk about it later.

I have to get
back out to the
house. Excuse me.

What's your full name?

Where do you live?

Why don't you
have any ID?

What were you
doing out there?

Ah, you got here.

Is this the bird guy?

Yeah, but he's
no warbler, though.

Neighbors saw him
standing outside
of his car,

looking over here
with his field glasses.

Accused him
of trespassing.
He just laughed.

He's a clam,
he knows all his rights.

Oh, he's one of those.

Yeah. And listen,
Palm Springs called.

They located that
tire place for you.

Their man's there now.
He's confirmed
the sale of the tires.

Oh, that's terrific.
Can you get him back
on the line?

Yeah, but
which do you want first?
You want me to take him apart

or you want
to call the guy?

No,
let's do it
all together.

McCurdy's in
the living room,
we'll take him in,

have that
call switched to
the living room.

Oh, and where's
Mr. Jennings?
I want him, too.

I want everybody.

I hope you know
what you're doing.

(KNOCK ON DOOR)

Excuse me,
Lieutenant Columbo
wants you downstairs.

What's he want?
Is it something new?

COLUMBO: Uh-huh. Uh-huh.

He was not registered.

Uh-huh.

Yeah.
Oh, that's
good, Sergeant.

No, that's good work.

Yes,
I think I have it all,
but hold on just a minute,

let me make sure.

Mr. Jennings,
your car license plate
is WEJ 1221, isn't it?

That's right.
Yeah, that's
it, Sergeant.

Well, thanks again.

What's the
matter, Lieutenant?
Am I getting a ticket?

Oh, no, no,
nothing like that.

(MUMBLING)

No, I just thought
that you'd like to
know that

the Palm Springs police,
they located the garage

where you bought
those tires last
night,

and they confirmed
what you said,

every bit of it.

Of course.
Why wouldn't they?

Oh, no reason.
In a murder case

we have
to double check
everything, that's all.

Um...

(MUMBLING)

Oh, well, there is
one small thing here

that
I don't understand,
though. Your mileage.

The guy said that
the garage wrote
it down.

You know, for the
tire guarantee slip?

76,000...

Let's see, did I
subtract that right?

What the devil are
you talking about,
Lieutenant?

(MUMBLING)

Well, I'm just
figuring it,
that's all.

I think you said that

you got a call
late last night

and that made you
pile into the car

and drive up here
from Palm Springs.

And then
you said you stopped
into town, you had breakfast.

Yes, that's right.
I told you,

Wayne called
me from a very noisy
restaurant in Los Angeles

at exactly 7:15.

Sit down, Mavis.

Well, he did.
Sit down.

Yes, but if it's 110 miles
from Palm Springs to
Los Angeles,

plus it's another
20 here, that's 130.

Only,
when I looked at
your car this morning,

I just
happened to notice
your mileage speedometer.

And when I subtract
the garage mileage
from mine,

that's 170.

That's 40 miles too much.

Well, of course.
Palm Springs is
all spread out.

Indian Wells, Palm Desert.

Lieutenant, after
I bought the tires
I left the garage,

I went
looking for some
of the tennis gang,

we went to a couple
of places for drinks,

then all the way
back to the club.

Forty miles is
nothing down there.

Oh, I know,
and we'll check on
that, don't you worry.

Because there's one
other thing that
the guy said,

the hotel
and tennis club
where the players stay,

they don't
seem to have your
name on the registry.

So, I would...
So what?

What possible concern
is it of yours where
I stayed

or where I went for drinks
or anything else in
Palm Springs?

I think I know where
he probably stayed,
Lieutenant.

Jess, stay out of this!

Why?

You've been trying to
get a part in Paul Rocca's
new picture, haven't you?

What are you
worried about?

There.

Every agent has
everyone's number.

COLUMBO: Well,
thank you very much.
JESS: No problem.

Jess, why do you
have to do this?

Why not?

Well, don't you realize
I'm just as unhappy as
you are?

It's not my
fault Theresa died.
What are you doing?

You're not going to
call that number,
are you?

It's none of
your damn business!

(DIALING)

I don't think the
Captain's gonna
like this.

When a snowball
starts to roll,
push.

(PHONE RINGING)

Hello?

Hello. I'd like to speak
to Mr. Paul Rocca, please.

MRS. ROCCA:
I'm sorry, Mr. Rocca is
in New York for a few days.

Well, it was
a Mr. Wayne Jennings
that I'm calling about.

I understand
that Mr. Jennings

was staying at
Mr. Rocca's house.

Who? Mr. Jennings?

Oh, that
tennis player,
Wayne Jennings.

(STAMMERING) Well,
I suppose my husband
might have told them

that someone could
use our guesthouse.

(LAUGHS)

He wouldn't be
there now, though.

I'm sure
the tennis matches
have started already.

Oh, he would
have left there
much earlier than that.

As I understand it,
he got a phone call,

maybe sometime
after midnight
last night.

(SCOFFS)
Well, how on Earth would
I know? Who is this, anyway?

Oh, didn't I say?
Lieutenant Columbo,
Los Angeles Police.

What I wanted to
ask you about is,

if you know what time
that phone call came in?

It might have been
just before he left
Palm Springs,

if you know
when that was.

Well, I didn't know
he did leave.

Um, look here,
what's happened?

Mr. Jennings is okay,
isn't he?

Oh, he's fine, I think.

Hold on, ma'am,
someone else will explain.

Why don't you
tell him the truth?
I have told the truth.

No, you didn't,
you've been lying.
Just tell him the truth!

Why don't you get him
to tell you the truth?

How do you know
he's lying, ma'am?

That phone call, Lieutenant,
was a little after 3:00 in
the morning.

What are you
talking about?

And it wasn't from
a friend of Theresa's

who said
she told him
what she said on TV.

It was from
Theresa herself!

Oh, that's ridiculous.

Telling you to get lost,

telling you she would
never, never marry you.

She's making it up.
You're lying.

Telling you
she never even
wanted to see you again.

Oh, shut up.
Telling you
that she realized

what a damn fool
she'd been!

How do you know
these things, ma'am?

For God's sake,
because I was here with her
when she made the phone call.

Now just get him
to tell the truth!

I already have!
And I'm not going
to say another word

as long as
you're around!
Get her out of here!

I'm not
going anywhere.
You're a liar!

You get her out
of here right now!

A liar!

All right, calm down.
Calm down now.

Now, Ms. McCurdy,

this gentleman
here is obviously
a private investigator.

Does he work for you,
maybe?

I hired him
a few days ago.

I'm sorry they
picked you up,
Charlie.

Tell them
everything you know.

Yeah, glad to
get off the hook.

Not much on Mr. Jennings'
background yet, Lieutenant.

But there is something
about this car stuff
might interest you.

And a newspaper
delivery guy you
might want to pick up.

See, I paid
him a few bucks
to keep an eye out.

Just a little
while ago, I got
a call from him.

Says he saw that red
Jag of Mr. Jennings
this morning,

sometime around 7:00.

What? Where?

Right out here,
down the highway
a mile or two.

He said it passed him
like he was standing
still,

on its way south.

Heading back
into town from here.

(GRUNTING)

CHARLIE: You got him?

Jess, I couldn't help it!

I don't even know
how it happened,

except when I went
into her bedroom,
there was a gun,

and there
was a black notebook
filled with lies about me.

(PANTING)
And I went
down to the study,

and I found her
there on the floor
near the open safe.

I don't know
what happened.

I just couldn't control
myself. I must have...

(CRYING)

Oh, God,
I didn't know
what I was doing.

JESS: Oh, my God!

I never saw a guy
unwind that fast.

Miranda?
I guess you better.

All right. You have
the right to remain
silent.

You have...
Lieutenant.

If you give up the
right to remain silent...
Lieutenant?

Don't interrupt.

Just came in. Message
from ballistics there, too.

You have the
right to remain silent.
If you give up the right

to remain silent,
anything you say
can and will be...

Schultz? Schultz, stop!
Schultz!

The preliminary autopsy
says Ms. Goren was
shot twice,

once through the heart
with her own gun,

that little.25.

That's the
gun Mr. Jennings
just said he fired.

But that wasn't
what killed her.

What killed her was
a shot in the head.

And that,
says ballistics,

was from a different gun,
a.22-caliber.

And it was fired
quite a bit earlier.

Over a half hour
earlier, in fact.

The conclusion of the
preliminary autopsy
report is as follows,

whoever shot Ms. Goren
in the heart later,

with her own.25-caliber,
just...

(BREATHING HEAVILY)

Just shot a dead body.

What happened?

He fainted.

COLUMBO:
Ms. McCurdy, please,

could you wait a
minute, ma'am, please?
Please go.

(BOTH PANTING)

Ma'am.

Lieutenant,

that man who said
I could go is your
superior, isn't he?

Oh, yes, well,
it's the real experts

that have to take statements
in an unusual case like this.

But there is
one more question
I wanted to ask you.

Of course.

You want to know why
I didn't tell you about
Theresa's phone call.

Well, how could I?

At least until I had
a chance to talk to Wayne.

I mean, who would believe
he was capable of killing
her?

No matter how greedy
or ambitious or
unfaithful a man is.

Besides, everyone was
saying it was a robbery.

Oh, God.
What are they doing now?

Oh...

Taking him downtown,
I guess.

There's
a lot of reporters
are starting to show up.

Downtown?

Oh, not to arrest him,
ma'am.

There's
no law against
shooting a dead body.

No, it's all right, fellas.
I'll be okay. I'll make it.

Ma'am, you didn't
answer the question
I was going to ask.

You realize, don't you,
that now I'm gonna
have to start

all over from
the beginning?

(SIGHS)

Well?

Well,
what time did you
leave here last night?

I was out late last night.

I drove
by here last night
a little after midnight.

The lights were on.

I found
Theresa had been
drinking and crying,

and making
up her mind to
get rid of him.

I'd sent
her Charlie's
little black book.

I shouldn't have.
She took it far
too seriously.

Anyway,
after she insisted on
making that phone call,

I managed to get
her to bed somehow,

and I left here to go
home at about 3:00 a.m.

All right, Lieutenant?

(CLEARS THROAT) When you
see a snowball starting
to roll,

push.

Got it, man.
Coming through.

Lieutenant?
Look, I'm sorry
to keep you waiting.

I'm right
in the middle of
a shotgun job here.

Oh, okay, Doc,
I won't bother
you long.

It's her I wanted to
talk to you about,
Ms. Goren.

Yeah, it's a damn shame.
She was a beautiful woman.

You know, my wife
read all her books.

She'll come down
here screaming if you
don't nail somebody soon.

I wanna make sure
about the time of death.

Could it
have been as
early as 3:30?

Look, didn't you
get the preliminary?

The shot to the head,
the one that killed her,

I said
at 5:30 a.m.
At the earliest.

Oh. Well, what
about the other shot,
the one through her heart?

Any chance of
error, I mean, about it
happening so much later?

No, absolutely not.
You know, it's too
bad

the assistant ME
didn't notice the
internal bleeding

in the heart wound.
As a matter of fact,

I'm surprised you
didn't notice it
yourself.

Well, actually,
Doc, you know...

Well, anyhow,
the lab confirmed it.

She was dead at least
a half an hour before
the second shot.

Look...

(CHUCKLES) I've got
to go in here

and finish up with
this guy who tried to put
both barrels in his mouth.

There's something else,
Doc,

the way Ms. Goren
was found,

you know in her
underwear and all?

Yeah,
early riser,
somebody said.

Yeah, but like you say,

she sure was pretty
and dressed that way.

Could somebody have
maybe roughed her up?

Sexually molested?
No, no, no.

Of course not.

Uh, not a sign
of contusions,

no blows,
no roughing up at all.

Here, come on in.
We'll talk about it
while I finish up.

Okay.

(COLUMBO GROANS)

Thanks, Doc.
That will be
all for now.

JESS: Oh, I'm sorry.

Oh, honey,
I'm so sorry.

(SIGHS)

Mickey,
I thought I told you to
go home a half an hour ago.

MICKEY: I know.

But I
decided I won't.
Not until you do.

Oh, for God's sake.

Jess, it's almost 7:30.

The cleaning men
are already here.

So,
why don't you let me
drive you home myself,

and I'll have the
car sent out to your house
first thing in the morning?

Oh, don't be silly.
I'm perfectly all right.

It just seems like
watching this over
and over again

is only going to
make you feel worse.

And besides,
you haven't even
had any dinner yet.

You know,
it just occurred to me.

Maybe somebody followed
her home after the show.

What?

(SIGHS)

(SIGHS)

(STAMMERING)
Oh, I doubt that.

But I suppose it
is sort of a relief

to at least know
that it wasn't him who

killed her.

(SIGHS)

I am so glad
you told me that.

But it is, isn't it?
A relief, I mean.

Just make sure
you turn this thing
off before you leave.

WOMAN ON PA: Paging
Dr. Clay. You're needed
in the reception area.

Dr. Clay, please report
to the reception area.

(PEOPLE CHATTERING)

(WOMAN LAUGHING)

WOMAN ON PA: Dr. Wilson,
please pick up the
courtesy phone.

Whoa, whoa, whoa,
that's good. Thank you.

(KNOCK ON DOOR)

I'm sorry, sir.
No visitors are allowed.

No,
it's all right.
He's a policeman.

Oh, well, maybe you'd
like to leave that for
Mr. Jennings.

No, no,
I just dropped by.

Dear, why don't
you pour him a glass
of wine, then run along?

Thank you very much, sir,
but I just had a root beer.

Okay, go on, scoot.

Boy, this is
sure different from
my hernia operation.

It was my lawyer's idea,
putting me in here overnight,

so I could
dodge those reporters.

She fixed it
with the doctors.

Oh, I bet
they're worried, too.

Because, I tell you,
I sure was shocked when
you collapsed like that.

I mean,
any guy that climbs
mountains and skydives...

Lieutenant, I never came that
close to passing out before
in my life.

But don't
you realize the
shocks I'd had?

Theresa knew
I wasn't perfect.

She knew I'd played around
with a few other women,
here and there,

but she even
kidded me about it.

Yes,
you know,
I've noticed.

Women, they just
seem to take to you.

But it didn't
mean anything.

For Theresa to
turn on me like that,

to read a few filthy things
in that private eye's
notebook

and then
to suddenly
throw me over?

She threatened to
write a whole book
about me,

to make
a best-selling
joke of my life.

I tell you, when I
went into her bedroom

and there was
that notebook,

and there was the gun,

I grabbed it
out of the drawer.

You know,
we thought that

she just took it downstairs
because she heard something.

Oh, how I wish she had.

She might still be alive.

Don't you understand?
I took it.

And when I found her
in the study next to
the open safe,

there were
pieces of my love letters
torn up all over the floor

and something
inside of me... I...

It's all in my confession.
Isn't that what you have
right there?

Can't you just read it?

In your confession here,
you said you didn't
remember

whether
you fired
one shot or two.

How can I tell?
I didn't know
what I was doing.

Can't you figure it out?

We'll certainly
try our best.

Incidentally,
we didn't find

any pieces of love
letters on the floor.

Of course you didn't.
I burned them.

There were still some
coals in the fireplace.

I just burned them up
and got the hell out
of there.

All right, if I can
just ask you one thing
about Charlie's notebook,

and I don't want
you to go into it, sir.

It's too upsetting.

I know what's in it.
Charlie told me already.

But you didn't say
what you did with
Charlie's notebook.

Lieutenant, I already asked
Helen to call your office
about that.

Helen?

She does my taxes.

She's the woman
I phoned and left
a message for on my way up

from Palm Springs.

Anyway,
what I did with
that damn notebook,

I threw it in a dumpster
on my way into breakfast,

which was just as dumb
as everything else
I did afterwards.

Calling Mavis
from that restaurant,
buying all those flowers.

Yes. Why don't you
get some sleep now
and...

I just want to say that

I'll have
a car come around
10:00 tomorrow morning.

Why? I thought your
captain said I was
free to go.

Oh, of course.

But I guess you
realize that now

you're the one person
I can count on most to
help find the real killer.

And we will,
don't you worry.

(REWINDING)

And Mr. Jennings,
he did leave a message?

Yes, he called on his
way through town at
6:25 this morning.

And how do
you know that?

The machine.

See, it even records
the time of hang-ups.

Oh, I see, yeah.

(SHUSHING)
His call is next.

Helen, it's me, Wayne.
I just stopped in town
for some gas.

I hope you can hear me,
there's crazy traffic
on the freeway.

Listen,
my plans are changed.

I'm on my way back
to Theresa's place.

I'll call you later
when I get a chance,
okay?

Did you hear how
fast he was talking?
How upset he sounded?

I could tell the minute
I played that back this
morning that,

that woman was
putting him through
some kind of wringer.

Wringer?

Wayne
is usually
so easy-going.

I always
knew when she was
driving him up the wall

with her
emotional outbursts,
her change-of-life moods,

her insatiable...

(SCOFFS)

Shut up, Helen.

I guess
you kind of
like him yourself.

Well, I'm a realist,
that's all.

I take what I can get.

There. 6:25 a.m.

Oh, I better
write that down.

Oh, no, here,
you can have the
whole tape if you like.

Oh, thank you.

You don't happen to know
what he meant when he said

he'll call you back later,
do you?

No. Why?

Oh, it's
probably not important.
There's one other thing.

I see
on your door that
you sell insurance.

Now, we've already checked
Ms. Goren's insurance agents,

and they say that
the only beneficiary
to her life policies,

is her sister. Ms. McCurdy.

All but one.

Oh?

When
Wayne was first
trying to impress her,

he got me to write
out an all-risks
life policy for him.

And when Ms. Goren heard
about it, she sent me a note

saying
she wanted
the same thing.

She didn't want to
bother her people
about it.

Wayne had insisted that
she be his beneficiary.

So, naturally,

the Great Lady
must reciprocate
the grand gesture.

Would you mind
telling me how much
those policies are for?

Look, Lieutenant,
Wayne's already told me
he's not getting any money.

Anything coming
to him goes directly
to Theresa's charities.

All right.

But,
if you must know,

the policies are
fairly impressive.

A million dollars.

A million dollars?
Oh, that's fairly
impressive.

Excuse me, Lieutenant.
I sent your driver home.

Drove my own car here,
is that all right?

Oh, sure, sir.
You're free to do
whatever you want.

You're gonna
be happy to know, we
just found the other bullet.

It was buried
over there in
those ashes.

Other bullet?

From Ms. Goren's gun,

that second shot that
you said you couldn't
remember

whether you
fired or not?

And it
all makes
a lot of sense.

You said you came
in from over there

and from across the
room, you saw her kneeling,
leaning against the open safe.

You had no idea
she had already
been shot.

You saw the love letters
all ripped up on the floor.

You assumed
she just took them out

and in a blind rage,
you fired.

And if one of those bullets
just missed just by a little,

it would have ricocheted
off these stones right
into the fireplace.

And that's
supposed to
make me happy?

Well, it explains
a little bit more about
what happened, that's all.

Great.

Oh, speaking of bullets,

that earlier shot,

that the real killer
fired into her head?

Well, ballistics said
that was from a.22-caliber,
and that's a very popular gun.

You don't say.

Well, I only mention it, sir,
because I noticed in your room

there was
a gun collection
up against the wall

and I was wondering
if maybe when you said

that nothing was
missing out of there...

No, Lieutenant,
I do not own one.

The killer must have
brought his own.

Now, can we please
get the hell out
of this room?

It gives me the chills.

Oh, I'm sorry, sir.
Yeah, we can wait
in the other room.

For what? That cherry-picker
parked down the road, maybe?

Oh, are they here already?

Oh, let's go.
They could be
our best witnesses.

Witnesses? To what?

Okay, hit it, Ron.

(ENGINE STARTS)

Don't worry
about a thing.

It can
carry you all.
Tell them, McGee.

Well, it may be
a little crowded,
that's all.

But if you want
to see what I saw...

All right,
and I need him
to help tell me

what I'm looking at.

You better
put this on,
Lieutenant.

No, thanks.
Never use 'em.

You'll be sorry.

Hey, I'll take it.

All right,
Ron, bring it down.

Looks shaky,
doesn't it?

You don't have to
worry about a thing.

We'll be all right.

Here we go,
Lieutenant.
Pile in.

See, these guys say
they didn't notice

a single other
car on the road

all the time
that they were up
there, yesterday.

All aboard?

COLUMBO: So that's where
you were parked yesterday
the whole time?

What? The truck?
Yeah. The whole time.

Watch the branches!

And that was
from 5:50 a.m.
Until about...

6:25.
That's when
we left here.

That's about the same
time I stopped in LA

on my way up from
Palm Springs, to
call Helen.

Just a little before 6:30.

6:30, that's right.

Now for
the 40 minutes
before that, sir,

where were you guys?
Were you up...

We were right up there.
Right next to this pole,

working on
that terminal there.

But I went back and forth
a couple of times to that
other pole...

(SPEAKING SPANISH)

That pole right over there.

Do you see where
the lines fan out?

Now, see there?
That's Ms. Goren's lines.

You can see her whole
driveway from up here.
Even part of the garage.

COLUMBO: Can you?

And over there's
Mrs. Shannon's place.

And the one farther down,

that's where that lady
lives with her father.

But you notice, Lieutenant?
You can see the whole road
from here.

Now
you understand
why we're so sure

there weren't any cars
coming in or going out.

And the view's a whole
lot better from over here.

See,
I worked on that wire
yesterday... Oh, gee.

Oh, hell!
What the hell is that?

McGEE: Those are crows.
They're nesting up here.

They were really
after me yesterday.

Well, at least now we know
the murderer didn't come
or go by car, right?

Not while we were here.

Yeah, but look around. Do you
see all the shrubberies and
stuff?

You can see
for yourself.

Anybody could have been
sneaking around here
on foot.

We wouldn't have
noticed him.

Ah, not on foot.
I guess you wouldn't.

Say, you don't
happen to know where her
sister lives. Ms. McCurdy?

A couple miles
down the beach.

JESS: You looking for
something, Lieutenant?

What?

Oh. How are you?

It's all right.
Let him in, Rosa.

Boy, this sure
is some place
you got here.

Well, thank you.

Is that all you
came to tell me?

Well, no.

Oh, but there've been
no new developments
or anything like that,

if that's
what you meant.

All right.

Care for a drink?
Want to sit down?

Oh,
thank you, ma'am.
But I'd better not,

because I got sand
all over my clothes.

Lieutenant,
make yourself comfortable.

Oh, thank you
very much, ma'am.

I know what
I wanted to ask you.

You said that you
were with your sister
the night before she died.

What time did you say
you left? 3:00 a. M?

Yes, that's what I said.

I only ask because
she went to bed so late

and, you know,
by dawn she was
already half dressed.

Would she get
up that early?

Yes, Theresa
always got up early.

Besides, she was expecting
to go to Seattle, remember?

She had a lot of
things to attend to.

You arranged that,
didn't you?

What? The book signing?

I just assumed you did.

I mean, considering
how you must have felt

when you saw her saying
all those things on TV,

about marrying this man
and being in love
with him and...

Look.
I wanted to get her
as far away from him

as fast as possible.
Wouldn't you?

I guess I would, ma'am,
if she was my little sister.

She was a born innocent,
Lieutenant.

She was always
getting too serious
about the wrong men.

Oh, I know
he's attractive,
but she didn't know

how to handle
a man like that.

She didn't know
how to use him
and then dump him.

Well, she did seem
like such a trusting,
soft-mannered lady.

Except maybe when
she read Mr. Jennings

the riot act
on the phone.

What the hell are
you really doing here?

To ask
your permission to check
with the telephone company.

About your long-distance
calls, that is.

My what?

From here?

Well, I'm sure
it's just a mistake.

You know
how those computers are.

But, so far, at least,
there doesn't seem to be

any record of
that phone call
to Palm Springs.

Not from your
sister's house, at least.

So I got to wondering...

Because I've noticed,
Ms. McCurdy,

you're a little like myself.

When my wife,
when she gets
all steamed up...

I don't say much
until I know that
it's safe to say it.

And like
I said, I noticed that
Mr. Jennings' confession,

that all those awful
words that he said
your sister used,

they just didn't
sound like her.

So what I got
to wondering was,

well, I had this other
brother in high school,
he was older than me.

And he used to
get all these calls
from all these girls.

And I discovered
when I answered
the phone

that if I grooved
a little

and grumbled,
sounded like him,

then, wow.

The offers
he used to get

and the things these
girls used to say to him.

Boy,
it was like
an education.

But it was easy to fool.

All right, all right!
You made your damn point!

I'm sorry.

Like hell you are.

You're not sorry.

But you don't have
to check the records.

Yes, I'm the one
that made the phone
call early this morning.

WAYNE: Oh,
honey, I love you.
I love you so much.

JESS:
Shut up, you bastard.

What?

I'll never marry you.
I'm not a fool.

Theresa,
what's wrong, sweetheart?

Have you been drinking?

Have you been talking to
that meddling sister of
yours again?

No!

I don't believe you.
Listen, you get some
sleep.

I'm coming
home tomorrow night
and we'll talk about it.

Don't you
ever come back.
I hate you. I hate you.

But you don't understand.

You see, I'd pleaded with her.

I'd begged her,
I'd argued with her.

I'd done everything.

But she just wouldn't.

I even got us
both half drunk.

(LAUGHS)

But she wouldn't do it.

She said

she agreed she couldn't
marry him, she'd go to
Seattle,

she'd do anything else,
but she couldn't do that.

(PHONE RINGING)

She just wouldn't tell him.

She couldn't end it.

I got so mad,
I got so mad.

I put her to bed
and I went home.

And I was so mad,
I picked up the phone...

(SOBBING)

I shouldn't
have been drinking.

Ms. McCurdy?

Oh, God, Rosa,
get out of here.

Yes, ma'am,
but I just wanted to say

there's a telephone call
for Lieutenant Columbo.

All right, all right,
he'll take it in here.
All right. Go on.

(SHUSHING)

(SPEAKING SPANISH)

I have
a surprise for you.
Come on, I'll tell you.

All right, Schultz,
but if you could
scare me up a ride.

Oh, you have?
I'll be right out.

They found a gun.
I'll have to leave. Uh...

Look, I... You know,
I think I know how
painful that was.

Please, Lieutenant.
Please.

Just go.

God, you look awful.

How did you get in here?

How long have you
been here? Rosa!

I sent her
to run an errand.

Oh, there's no need
for her to know about

that bitchy little
phone call of yours.

Yours.

God, why didn't I guess?

Get out of here.

I said get out.

No, I'm not going to leave.

And that phony
little phone call of yours
isn't going to leave either.

Oh, God.

All your life
you're going
to be thinking

it was your fault
that Theresa died,
aren't you?

Because you made
me do what I did.

Just get
out of here.
Go on, get out!

But I didn't kill her.
You just
made me think that I did.

Stop it.
Let go of me.
You let go of me!

Not until you
listen to me, Jess.

Because you didn't kill
her either, did you?
Well, did you?

Of course not.
What a stupid
thing to say.

Look at me, Jess.
Don't you see?

I know the agony
of what you're feeling.

We're both
riddled with guilt.

And we both just
did horrible things,

but only because
we loved her.

For the last time,
get your hands
off of me.

We deserve each other,
Jess.

Maybe we need
each other now,

to keep
from hating
ourselves forever.

Wayne Jennings,
I hated myself

from the very moment
I made the mistake of
letting you meet my sister.

You introduced me.

It was a mistake.

I asked you to do it.

It was a mistake!

Have you ever thought
about why you're so
angry, Jess?

Why you're so sorry
you introduced us?

You lousy bastard!

Jessica, I've seen
how you watched me.

Every time
I was with her,
you watched me.

You've seen how
I've watched you.

How I've wanted you.

I hate you.

Yeah, it was buried in
a lot of other junk,
right over there.

Metal detector picked it up,
so did a dog.

Dog?

Right. Gun had
been fired lately.

You could
still smell it yourself.
And it was a.22, all right.

One of the traffic boys
is running it down to
the lab for us.

That path there,
that leads up to
Ms. Goren's house?

That's right.
It's the one you'd take
down from Goren's place

to get away up
or down the beach.

And her sister,
that's her house,
that fifth house up there?

Right. So, we already know
that the killer came and
went on foot.

Now, if that turns out
to be the murder weapon...

I think
I'll wait in the morgue.

What are you looking for,
Lieutenant?

I don't know.

Just something
I noticed before.

You see that
little speck there?

Yeah, sure. So what?

Photographer should
keep his lens clean.

I don't think
that's what it is.

Hey, you want
to see something
really interesting?

This is an organ
from a poison case.

Now, I want
you to notice the
purple-gray area...

I just thought
you'd show me
some clothes.

Tell me the
file number,
maybe.

Sorry, Lieutenant.
I didn't know you
were in such a hurry.

I am now.

I just decided.

What the hell
are you doing?

Oh, Schultz.

Well, actually...

Never mind,
I won't ask.

The report's in.
Ballistics said

it was the.22 that
killed her, all right.

So what now?
More beach-combing?

I've already
asked for 10 more men.

I gotta go see
her sister again.

What?

But she is not at home.

She left shortly after
you were here, Lieutenant.

Several hours ago.

All right.
Mr. Jennings, then?

Oh, he is with her.
They are both together.

Excuse me, ma'am,
but since both
their cars are here,

I saw them myself.

Well, Ms. McCurdy
has lots of cars.

They took the Rolls.
Mr. Jennings was driving.

I saw them go myself.

The Rolls?

All right, where?
Where did they go?

Well, I heard
her telephone

some sales lady
in Beverly Hills.

There we go.
Now, the fitter can
ease these shoulders...

No, no, no,
that'll be fine.

But...

This isn't going
to work anyway.

(SIGHS)

Oh, please,
it makes me look
like a French poodle.

No, it does not. You just
need a lighter color,
that's all.

Could we see
some different things
in lighter colors, please?

Certainly, sir.

Wayne, I just can't
wear things like this!

Of course you can.

Try something different
with your hair.

And you know
what would look
fabulous with this?

What?
A black linen
dinner jacket.

Miss?

And stop
giving me orders.

Oh, look,
I'm really sorry.

I'm just
all mixed up.
I'm all mixed up.

Besides, I'm just going
to Arrowhead to get away

from people,
newspaper reporters,
television. I'm sick...

(SHUSHING) Hey,
I'll take care of all
of them, don't you worry.

And I'll take
good care of you.

I just thought
we might like to sneak out
for a nice dinner one night.

So I'd like you to
have some new clothes.

All right, I'm just...

Want to
get out of here
before I lose my mind.

But if I do
go with you...

(DOOR OPENS)

JESS: Oh, my God.

Oh, there you are.

I've been looking
all over for you two.

What is it,
Lieutenant?

Do you have
any new leads,
any suspects?

Well, we found a gun.

I told you that.

Does it mean anything?

Ah, yes, sir.
It's the murder weapon.

It is?

But I want you to know
that I finally realized

that it couldn't
have been the thief

or anybody like that,
that did this.

(SCOFFS) It what?

Well, we already
know, Mr. Jennings,

that when you
shot Ms. Goren
with her own gun

that she'd been
dead for a while.

Yes, of course, Lieutenant.
But do you have to keep
bringing it up?

Can't you see Ms. McCurdy
has suffered enough agony
as it is?

I just want you to
know that Ms. Goren

was not shot
in a struggle with
any kind of intruder.

Well,
if it wasn't a thief
and it wasn't an intruder...

Just a minute, Jess.

I wouldn't say another word
until you've contacted
your attorney.

What I'm trying
to say, Ms. McCurdy,

is that your sister was
probably shot in cold blood.

Maybe even while
she was still asleep.

Asleep?

Who would do
such a thing?

Jess, you don't even
have to talk to him.

Ms. McCurdy,
there's just one thing

I want to know
about your sister.

Now, she was wearing
white socks, knee-highs,

and her secretary
told me

that she wore those socks
when she wore slacks.
Is that true?

Her secretary was
probably right.
What of it?

Did she wear
slacks often?

No.

When did she wear them?

Oh, when she was
hanging around
the house

or when
she wanted to
be comfortable.

Would she wear
slacks when she was
traveling on a plane?

Theresa always wore slacks
when she traveled
on a plane.

Well, that's it.
I know who did it.

What the hell are
you talking about?

You, Mr. Jennings.

I guess what
you figured was,

you could be headed
back to Palm Springs

and beat
the early morning traffic
before it hit the freeways.

You could be down
there playing tennis

before 9:00 and nobody
would even know that
you'd been gone.

You're out of your mind.

I didn't even
go through Los Angeles
until 6:25 a.m., remember?

And then I made a phone
call to Helen and left
a message.

Sure, on an answering service
that you knew was going to
record the time.

And you had to shout,

because you said
you could hear
all that honking

from the trucks
on the freeway.

But we got
the sound lab
working on that

and you know what they
think caused all that
racket?

Crows.

Crows.

You know, those birds?

Like the ones we disturbed
when we were out with
those cable guys.

I didn't even arrive
at Theresa's house
until 7:00.

Those guys
had already left.

Ah, no, sir, you
were already there
before they arrived.

You'd already killed her.

And then when
the cable guys came,

you were trapped,
you couldn't drive
away without being seen.

So, you had to
sit there and wait.

Now, you can't get to
Palm Springs early enough,

because you can't beat
the early morning traffic.

Wayne?
He's making it up.

Every word of it.
Just relax.

So now, Mr. Jennings,
you do just like
a juggler does.

You drop one plan
and you grab another.

When the
cable truck leaves,

you kill her
with a different gun,

knowing that
if you ever got caught,
you could always confess.

And nobody
would ever suspect
that you killed Ms. Goren.

Not once, but twice.

Oh, my God.

That's a lie.

There's no way
you can prove
a word of it.

I'm sorry, sir, but that's
the way it happened and
I can prove every bit of it.

Because I was
just at the morgue
and I made a discovery.

Your sister didn't
even dress herself.

Didn't what?

She didn't dress herself.
Whoever shot her,
dressed her.

And that person
had to be close
to her.

Close enough to know
that she'd be getting
on a plane

and she would
be wearing slacks.

Well, Mavis knew,
Lieutenant. And I knew.

Oh, it couldn't
have been a woman.

Because that person
made a big mistake.

And it was the
kind of mistake that
only a man would make.

You're crazy.

Shut up.

What possible mistake?

Here, I'll show you.

All right.

This is how
we found her.

In her underwear and bathrobe,
with her right side sort of
exposed.

Yes, I've seen that.

But do you see
that little speck
on her right hip?

Just barely.

And that's
been bothering
me for two days.

It just
didn't seem right.

Give me that!

But it's very small,
so I had it blown up.

Now you can tell
what it really is.

JESS: Well,
it's just a label,

sticking out from
under a waistband.

A label.
How ridiculous can you get?

Well, Mr. Jennings,
I guess nobody knows
everything about a woman,

not even you.

Let me see that again.

You bastard!
I will kill you.

I will kill you!
I will kill you!

You killed her!

All right, book him.
Suspicion of murder.

Ma'am.

Your maid is here,
she's waiting outside.

We'll drive you home
in one of our cars.

Thank you, Lieutenant.

Columbo,
I don't understand.

What the hell is wrong
with this damn picture?

Well, here,
let me show you
on these panties.

Hold this up.

Oh, well,
this is Vanity Fair,

but the label's
on the left side.

That's where
they usually are.

American-made panties
always used to be
on the left.

My wife told me that.

But Ms. Goren's panties
were Maidenform.

I saw them
in her drawer.

That's what
my wife wears.

And Maidenform panties
are always on the left.

The panties I just saw
in the morgue, left side.

But in
the photograph
there of the body,

that label is
on the right side.

So, how did
the label get
from over here

all the way
around over there?

Well, there's
only one answer.

The panties were
put on backwards.

And you don't think she would
do a thing like that herself,
do you?

(WOMAN CLEARING THROAT)

(CLEARS THROAT)