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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:36,667 --> 00:00:38,142 Hey, this is Jeff. 2 00:00:38,166 --> 00:00:41,351 And Elise! Yep, we did it! 3 00:00:41,375 --> 00:00:44,684 I'm finally moving in! Because we're getting married in a few weeks! 4 00:00:44,708 --> 00:00:47,351 Okay, just leave me -- us -- a message. 5 00:00:47,375 --> 00:00:48,810 Bye! 6 00:00:48,834 --> 00:00:51,851 Hey, it's Mike, your friendly neighborhood travel agent. 7 00:00:51,875 --> 00:00:55,684 Yep, summer's here, so just a few last-minute details to go over 8 00:00:55,708 --> 00:00:57,851 for your Paris honeymoon, and then we're all... 9 00:00:57,875 --> 00:01:00,726 Leçon 3: Freezer... Le congélateur 10 00:01:00,750 --> 00:01:03,710 Congélateur. 11 00:01:06,250 --> 00:01:08,851 Toilettes. 12 00:01:08,875 --> 00:01:11,351 Plus de vin s'il vous plaît 13 00:01:11,375 --> 00:01:13,059 Combien coûte ce chemisier? 14 00:01:13,083 --> 00:01:16,833 S'il vous -- wow. Armoire! 15 00:01:18,375 --> 00:01:21,785 Plaqué! Plaque! 16 00:01:22,875 --> 00:01:25,705 Évier! 17 00:01:28,417 --> 00:01:33,037 Excusez... baguette. 18 00:01:35,542 --> 00:01:38,393 Ooh, plus de vin s'il vous plait! 19 00:01:44,000 --> 00:01:48,000 * Camp Takota * 20 00:01:54,667 --> 00:01:57,417 Wake up. 21 00:02:00,583 --> 00:02:03,601 Wake up; I'm pregnant! 22 00:02:03,625 --> 00:02:04,810 What? 23 00:02:04,834 --> 00:02:08,267 How do you still fall for that? 24 00:02:08,291 --> 00:02:10,810 Babe, I made you a breakfast burrito. 25 00:02:10,834 --> 00:02:13,893 Oh, mmm. What time is it? 26 00:02:13,917 --> 00:02:16,059 Seven-thirty. Why are you up so early? 27 00:02:16,083 --> 00:02:19,935 Is it still considered being up early if you never went to sleep? 28 00:02:19,959 --> 00:02:21,434 How are you functioning? 29 00:02:21,458 --> 00:02:22,393 I don't know. 30 00:02:22,417 --> 00:02:23,810 Bodies are weird, right? 31 00:02:23,834 --> 00:02:25,810 Science, etcetera. 32 00:02:25,834 --> 00:02:26,935 Caffeine? 33 00:02:26,959 --> 00:02:28,393 So much of it. 34 00:02:28,417 --> 00:02:30,726 But the good news: I finally finished. 35 00:02:30,750 --> 00:02:32,768 Oh, no way! 36 00:02:32,792 --> 00:02:36,726 Yeah! At 6:37 a.m., I finally typed the words "The End." 37 00:02:36,750 --> 00:02:37,768 That's incredible. 38 00:02:37,792 --> 00:02:38,893 Yeah. 39 00:02:38,917 --> 00:02:40,601 So, how do we celebrate? 40 00:02:40,625 --> 00:02:42,768 Sex... with you! 41 00:02:42,792 --> 00:02:44,601 Get up! 42 00:02:44,625 --> 00:02:48,601 Right now? Come on, I have to get ready for work. So do you. 43 00:02:48,625 --> 00:02:50,893 You are such a tease. 44 00:02:52,875 --> 00:02:56,893 So now that you're finished, when do I actually get to read it? 45 00:02:56,917 --> 00:02:58,810 Soon... ish. 46 00:02:58,834 --> 00:03:03,309 Babe, come on. This is what I do. Why are you so afraid to let me read it? 47 00:03:03,333 --> 00:03:07,309 Well, I don't want you to think I'm using you for your grammatical prowess. 48 00:03:07,333 --> 00:03:10,101 Clearly I'm using you for your HBO. 49 00:03:11,834 --> 00:03:15,017 That's probably Celia, making sure I got her a soy latte, 50 00:03:15,041 --> 00:03:17,726 like I haven't been getting her soy latte for three years. 51 00:03:17,750 --> 00:03:19,684 You going to get her skim? Obviously. 52 00:03:19,708 --> 00:03:22,538 Yeah. 53 00:03:22,834 --> 00:03:24,267 Hey, careful! 54 00:03:24,291 --> 00:03:29,351 Come on. This is Brooks Brothers. It's expensive. 55 00:03:29,375 --> 00:03:32,893 Will you go by my place today and grab the rest of my things? 56 00:03:32,917 --> 00:03:35,726 I can't. I have a meeting at 10:00 with Vanessa, 57 00:03:35,750 --> 00:03:39,017 and then I've got to get my pages to the editor by 6:00. 58 00:03:39,041 --> 00:03:41,518 "Ass like Rihanna" Vanessa? 59 00:03:41,875 --> 00:03:43,351 It's a joke. 60 00:03:43,375 --> 00:03:45,768 I'll pick them up on the way home. I love you! 61 00:03:45,792 --> 00:03:48,976 I love you. 62 00:04:00,708 --> 00:04:02,476 Here you go: three lattes. 63 00:04:02,500 --> 00:04:04,210 Thanks. 64 00:04:05,375 --> 00:04:08,184 Elise? Elise Miller! 65 00:04:08,208 --> 00:04:11,643 Oh, look at you: all grown up! 66 00:04:11,667 --> 00:04:12,935 Sally Meister? 67 00:04:12,959 --> 00:04:14,893 Says so on my driver's license. 68 00:04:14,917 --> 00:04:17,726 What are you doing here? Shouldn't you be at camp? 69 00:04:17,750 --> 00:04:19,900 Oh, just doing some last-minute recruiting. 70 00:04:19,925 --> 00:04:22,601 I'm still two counselors and a lifeguard shy of a full staff. 71 00:04:22,625 --> 00:04:24,059 You want to come aboard? 72 00:04:24,083 --> 00:04:28,275 That is very tempting, but I think my summers of armpit bug bites are over. 73 00:04:28,300 --> 00:04:29,950 Actually I work in publishing now. 74 00:04:29,975 --> 00:04:31,601 Oh, do you? 75 00:04:31,625 --> 00:04:34,726 Yeah, Lou Bell Press.They do a lot of young adult fantasy stuff. 76 00:04:34,750 --> 00:04:37,017 Have you heard of the Midnight Moonlight series? 77 00:04:37,041 --> 00:04:39,351 Maybe. What have we got here? 78 00:04:39,375 --> 00:04:41,226 I'm getting married in two weeks. 79 00:04:41,250 --> 00:04:44,059 Oh, congratulations. Where are you honeymooning? 80 00:04:44,083 --> 00:04:47,017 Paris. Ooh la la! 81 00:04:47,041 --> 00:04:49,559 Before you know it, you'll be driving your little ones up 82 00:04:49,583 --> 00:04:51,101 to Takota for the summer yourself. 83 00:04:51,125 --> 00:04:53,601 Oh, man. I think my ovaries just winced. 84 00:04:53,625 --> 00:04:56,226 I'm not really the offspring type, 85 00:04:56,250 --> 00:04:58,935 but if I was, they'd be Takota girls. 86 00:04:58,959 --> 00:05:01,393 I'm sorry, Sally. I've really got to go. 87 00:05:01,417 --> 00:05:04,935 Oh, I've got to get a move on myself; I'm meeting Jared for breakfast. 88 00:05:04,959 --> 00:05:06,559 You remember my son, don't you? 89 00:05:06,583 --> 00:05:10,393 He taped a walkie-talkie to his head and called it a Bluetooth.Who could forget? 90 00:05:10,417 --> 00:05:12,101 He always loved his technology. 91 00:05:12,125 --> 00:05:16,059 He actually made a fortune on one of those app thingies. 92 00:05:16,083 --> 00:05:17,810 Oh, that's cool. 93 00:05:17,834 --> 00:05:19,768 Yeah, it's called Hot Crotch. 94 00:05:19,792 --> 00:05:23,559 It can take your temperature if you point your phone at your, well, crotch. 95 00:05:23,583 --> 00:05:24,935 Unique. 96 00:05:24,959 --> 00:05:26,976 It's ridiculous! 97 00:05:27,000 --> 00:05:30,434 Oh, I know you've got to go, but you should consider coming up 98 00:05:30,458 --> 00:05:32,267 for visitors' weekend. Lots of familiar faces. 99 00:05:32,291 --> 00:05:33,893 I'll think about it. Bye, Sally. 100 00:05:33,917 --> 00:05:35,101 Oh! Oh! 101 00:05:35,125 --> 00:05:36,705 Careful! 102 00:05:48,500 --> 00:05:52,101 Good morning. Lou Bell Press, Gil speaking. 103 00:05:56,208 --> 00:05:57,810 Morning, Celia. 104 00:05:57,834 --> 00:06:01,142 You listen to me. I have a vacancy on my fall publishing schedule. 105 00:06:01,166 --> 00:06:04,142 Well, she needs to be prepared to return her advance 106 00:06:04,166 --> 00:06:07,768 in full, which- based on the new nose she's been sporting -- 107 00:06:07,792 --> 00:06:09,643 appears to already be spent. 108 00:06:09,667 --> 00:06:10,976 Has His Highness arrived yet? 109 00:06:11,000 --> 00:06:13,300 His agent called from the car and said that they are on their way. 110 00:06:13,325 --> 00:06:14,810 Is everything ready? Yes. 111 00:06:14,834 --> 00:06:15,643 Food? Delivered. 112 00:06:15,667 --> 00:06:17,059 Contest winners? Conference room. 113 00:06:17,083 --> 00:06:19,017 Releases? Signed. 114 00:06:19,041 --> 00:06:21,001 And... sent to Legal. 115 00:06:21,417 --> 00:06:24,017 You'll be taking pictures at the meet-and-greet. 116 00:06:24,041 --> 00:06:28,267 In addition to live tweeting the event and moderating the Reddit Q&A? 117 00:06:28,291 --> 00:06:30,291 No problem. 118 00:06:30,792 --> 00:06:34,810 Elise, please return your sarcasm along with that parody of a jacket. 119 00:06:34,834 --> 00:06:37,000 I have enough to deal with. 120 00:06:38,025 --> 00:06:40,076 Jillian Raab is too busy sniffing her book advance 121 00:06:40,100 --> 00:06:42,017 up her new nose to actually write any pages. 122 00:06:42,041 --> 00:06:45,518 Well, actually, Celia, this might be totally inappropriate, 123 00:06:45,542 --> 00:06:48,518 but I actually finished my book last night. 124 00:06:48,542 --> 00:06:51,935 And I only bring this up because it's also YA fantasy, 125 00:06:51,959 --> 00:06:56,709 it deals with unrequited love and Loch Ness monsters. 126 00:06:57,667 --> 00:06:59,887 It's called "Un-Loch My Heart,"tentatively, and 127 00:06:59,911 --> 00:07:02,059 I actually have it here on a thumb drive if -- 128 00:07:02,083 --> 00:07:05,083 That was totally inappropriate. 129 00:07:05,834 --> 00:07:09,384 And lucky for you, I am totally desperate. 130 00:07:11,417 --> 00:07:14,226 By all means, take your time digging through old receipts 131 00:07:14,250 --> 00:07:16,830 and Doritos wrappers. I have all day. 132 00:07:19,750 --> 00:07:20,601 Okay. 133 00:07:20,625 --> 00:07:24,351 Yeah. Thank you, Celia. 134 00:07:24,375 --> 00:07:28,684 Well, I'll see if I have time to read it based on how smoothly today goes. 135 00:07:28,708 --> 00:07:31,285 I don't need to remind you how important Walker Paige's 136 00:07:31,309 --> 00:07:33,768 support and the support of his fans is to Lou Bell. 137 00:07:33,792 --> 00:07:36,922 Absolutely. Everything will be perfect. 138 00:07:46,291 --> 00:07:48,393 Oh, my God! It's Walker Paige! 139 00:07:48,417 --> 00:07:50,851 He's real! He's real! 140 00:07:50,875 --> 00:07:54,935 Look at his hair! His hand is in it! 141 00:08:16,834 --> 00:08:18,267 What just happened? 142 00:08:18,291 --> 00:08:21,810 It's like they're being murdered by their own happiness. 143 00:08:21,834 --> 00:08:23,935 I saw a 13-year-old throw her panties. 144 00:08:23,959 --> 00:08:25,101 Oh, gross. 145 00:08:25,125 --> 00:08:27,915 Oh, vomit. 146 00:08:32,500 --> 00:08:36,210 Who is eating Walker Paige's face? 147 00:08:39,166 --> 00:08:40,351 Oh, my God! 148 00:08:40,375 --> 00:08:43,643 Isn't he supposed to be dating his co-star, 149 00:08:43,667 --> 00:08:46,309 the one that went to rehab for the self-tanning addiction? 150 00:08:46,333 --> 00:08:47,810 How do you know that? 151 00:08:47,834 --> 00:08:49,309 How do you not know that? 152 00:08:49,333 --> 00:08:52,101 Manda! 153 00:08:52,125 --> 00:08:54,415 Manda! 154 00:09:00,583 --> 00:09:02,142 Elise! Yes? 155 00:09:02,166 --> 00:09:04,810 What is the point of having a social media manager 156 00:09:04,834 --> 00:09:07,226 who doesn't manage any social media? 157 00:09:07,250 --> 00:09:09,893 Oh, it's uploading right now. Should be any second. 158 00:09:09,917 --> 00:09:12,457 Done. 159 00:09:30,375 --> 00:09:32,393 No... 160 00:09:32,417 --> 00:09:34,184 no, no, no, no... 161 00:09:34,208 --> 00:09:36,309 no, no, no...! 162 00:09:36,333 --> 00:09:38,434 What the fu--?! 163 00:09:49,583 --> 00:09:52,293 Elise, what are you doing home? 164 00:09:52,917 --> 00:09:56,017 Oh, I just got fired. 165 00:09:56,041 --> 00:09:57,434 What do you mean? 166 00:09:57,458 --> 00:10:00,000 It's pretty self-explanatory. 167 00:10:00,025 --> 00:10:01,226 What happened? 168 00:10:01,250 --> 00:10:04,393 I don't know. The technology, it turned on me 169 00:10:04,417 --> 00:10:06,877 and I couldn't control it and... 170 00:10:07,041 --> 00:10:09,211 I'm not following. 171 00:10:09,417 --> 00:10:11,377 Hey, hey... 172 00:10:12,542 --> 00:10:15,559 hey, hey, look at me. 173 00:10:15,583 --> 00:10:17,393 You're going to be okay. 174 00:10:17,417 --> 00:10:18,976 Yeah? 175 00:10:19,000 --> 00:10:20,059 Yes. 176 00:10:20,083 --> 00:10:22,423 Okay? 177 00:10:22,542 --> 00:10:24,893 Hey, why don't we... 178 00:10:24,917 --> 00:10:27,434 why don't we go down to Henry Oh's, 179 00:10:27,458 --> 00:10:30,267 drink way more than we should for 11:00 a.m. on a Thursday, 180 00:10:30,291 --> 00:10:32,393 and you can tell me everything that happened? 181 00:10:32,417 --> 00:10:34,226 Can we get nachos? 182 00:10:34,250 --> 00:10:35,935 Absolutely. 183 00:10:35,959 --> 00:10:38,267 Very cool. 184 00:10:38,291 --> 00:10:41,393 Why don't you head down there and then just get us a booth? 185 00:10:41,417 --> 00:10:44,787 I'll get dressed, and I'll just meet you over there. 186 00:10:46,208 --> 00:10:48,101 Why did you have two glasses? 187 00:10:48,125 --> 00:10:49,875 I'm sorry, what? 188 00:10:50,250 --> 00:10:54,000 When I walked in, you had two glasses. Why? 189 00:10:54,125 --> 00:10:56,226 Is there somebody here? 190 00:10:56,250 --> 00:10:58,309 Babe, have you read this nonsense? 191 00:10:58,333 --> 00:11:01,267 Another teen werewolf novel? 192 00:11:01,291 --> 00:11:05,881 I have seen less cliché writing in my 12-year-old niece's fan fic- 193 00:11:06,500 --> 00:11:09,434 Elise, I can explain this. Don't. 194 00:11:09,458 --> 00:11:11,434 And it's not about werewolves. 195 00:11:11,458 --> 00:11:14,128 It's about Loch Ness monsters. 196 00:11:17,166 --> 00:11:18,600 Elise, wait. 197 00:11:18,625 --> 00:11:20,075 You wait! 198 00:11:21,000 --> 00:11:25,580 I am grossed out and sad about this. 199 00:11:34,083 --> 00:11:36,543 Suck me. 200 00:11:52,542 --> 00:11:55,518 Gah, you are so terrible. 201 00:11:55,542 --> 00:11:59,101 And so, so beautiful. 202 00:12:05,875 --> 00:12:07,810 "Great bumping into you today. 203 00:12:07,834 --> 00:12:09,643 Good luck with the lucky man. 204 00:12:09,667 --> 00:12:12,393 Found this when I got home." 205 00:12:26,500 --> 00:12:29,309 Hi, you've reached Sally. Leave me a message. 206 00:12:29,375 --> 00:12:31,393 Sally! 207 00:12:31,417 --> 00:12:33,351 It's Elise Miller. 208 00:12:33,375 --> 00:12:35,559 Hey, girl, hey! 209 00:12:43,250 --> 00:12:44,434 Sally! 210 00:12:44,458 --> 00:12:47,059 It's Elise Miller! 211 00:12:47,083 --> 00:12:49,559 It was so good to see you this morning. 212 00:12:49,583 --> 00:12:52,601 Gah, your face was on point this morning. 213 00:12:52,625 --> 00:12:55,101 What face cream are you using? 214 00:12:55,125 --> 00:12:57,226 Awesome. Cool. 215 00:12:57,500 --> 00:13:01,059 Hi, you've reached Sally. Leave me a message. 216 00:13:01,208 --> 00:13:04,351 Sally, I was thinking about your offer 217 00:13:04,375 --> 00:13:06,184 to come up to camp. 218 00:13:06,208 --> 00:13:10,059 At first, I was like, "Elise, say what? 219 00:13:10,083 --> 00:13:11,500 That shit cray!" 220 00:13:11,525 --> 00:13:14,726 And then I was thinking about it more... 221 00:13:21,625 --> 00:13:24,810 I still know all the camp songs, like this one, 222 00:13:24,834 --> 00:13:28,434 classic hit you might remember from 1993. 223 00:13:28,458 --> 00:13:30,267 Let's camp it up. 224 00:13:30,291 --> 00:13:32,059 Camp, camp, camp it up. 225 00:13:32,083 --> 00:13:33,976 Hey, ladies! 226 00:13:34,000 --> 00:13:36,059 "Suck me"? 227 00:13:36,083 --> 00:13:37,601 What? 228 00:13:37,625 --> 00:13:40,101 Who says that? 229 00:13:40,125 --> 00:13:43,226 I would love to come to camp, okay? 230 00:13:43,250 --> 00:13:46,267 Stop asking me; I'm going to do it. 231 00:13:46,291 --> 00:13:49,961 Sally, I'm coming to camp. 232 00:13:51,291 --> 00:13:53,601 Oop! Hey, friend. 233 00:14:03,166 --> 00:14:05,476 Bruce! Bruce! 234 00:14:05,500 --> 00:14:07,142 412. 235 00:14:07,166 --> 00:14:08,476 Oh, no. 236 00:14:08,500 --> 00:14:10,476 Bruce! 237 00:14:16,291 --> 00:14:19,081 Sally said 412. 238 00:14:20,500 --> 00:14:22,540 Bruce! 239 00:14:23,708 --> 00:14:25,726 Elise! I got your message. 240 00:14:25,750 --> 00:14:27,976 Or should I say "messages"? 241 00:14:28,000 --> 00:14:30,810 And I can't tell you how happy I am to hear 242 00:14:30,834 --> 00:14:32,851 you'll be joining us this summer. 243 00:14:32,875 --> 00:14:35,768 Now, luckily, the Fefferman family will be passing through 244 00:14:35,792 --> 00:14:39,643 your neck of the woods on their way to drop off their daughter Penny, 245 00:14:39,667 --> 00:14:41,976 and they have graciously offered to give you a lift. 246 00:14:42,000 --> 00:14:44,393 So grab your swimsuit and slap on some sunscreen, 247 00:14:44,417 --> 00:14:46,559 because you're going to camp! 248 00:14:46,583 --> 00:14:49,684 Elise, look: it's not what it looked like. 249 00:14:50,834 --> 00:14:53,476 Okay, it is -- 250 00:14:55,917 --> 00:14:58,518 Oh, my God, Elise, you must be devastated. 251 00:14:58,542 --> 00:15:01,017 Understatement of the century. 252 00:15:01,041 --> 00:15:05,142 I mean, the GIFs on Tumblr alone are insane! 253 00:15:05,166 --> 00:15:06,684 Want to get brunch -- I can't. 254 00:15:06,708 --> 00:15:08,643 I... 255 00:15:08,667 --> 00:15:10,518 I'm going to camp. 256 00:15:10,542 --> 00:15:12,476 Oh! I haven't tried that place. 257 00:15:12,500 --> 00:15:13,518 What street is it on? 258 00:15:13,542 --> 00:15:16,851 No, actual camp. 259 00:15:16,875 --> 00:15:18,601 Manda, I've got to go. 260 00:15:18,625 --> 00:15:21,101 What? 261 00:15:25,417 --> 00:15:26,935 Hello? 262 00:15:26,959 --> 00:15:29,434 Elise? It's Kathy Fefferman. 263 00:15:29,458 --> 00:15:31,726 We're here to give you a ride to camp. 264 00:15:31,750 --> 00:15:33,810 I overslept. 265 00:15:33,834 --> 00:15:36,226 Can you give me five minutes? 266 00:15:36,250 --> 00:15:38,393 No problem! 267 00:15:38,417 --> 00:15:40,497 Okay, I'll be right down. 268 00:15:47,750 --> 00:15:49,559 Ooh, bad. 269 00:15:49,583 --> 00:15:51,393 Ooh, bad. 270 00:16:10,583 --> 00:16:11,768 Hi there. 271 00:16:11,792 --> 00:16:14,226 Holy Real Housewife. 272 00:16:14,250 --> 00:16:15,768 You need a hand? 273 00:16:15,792 --> 00:16:17,267 No, I think I'll be fine. 274 00:16:17,291 --> 00:16:18,434 Yeah. Honey! 275 00:16:18,458 --> 00:16:19,601 Bruce? 276 00:16:19,625 --> 00:16:20,810 Bruce! 277 00:16:20,834 --> 00:16:23,393 Honey, can you help her? 278 00:16:23,417 --> 00:16:25,787 I am Kathy Fefferman. 279 00:16:26,083 --> 00:16:28,434 It is so wonderful to meet you. 280 00:16:28,458 --> 00:16:29,768 This is my husband Bruce. 281 00:16:29,792 --> 00:16:31,752 Hi. 282 00:16:33,792 --> 00:16:37,267 Right. And back here, this little nugget, this is our Penny. 283 00:16:37,291 --> 00:16:38,601 Hi. 284 00:16:38,625 --> 00:16:41,851 If we're going to stay on schedule, we'd better hit the road ASAP. 285 00:16:41,875 --> 00:16:44,535 Come on, missy. 286 00:16:46,333 --> 00:16:48,253 Everybody buckled up? 287 00:16:48,500 --> 00:16:49,768 Elise, do you like jazz? 288 00:16:49,792 --> 00:16:51,476 Oh, not at all. 289 00:16:51,500 --> 00:16:56,142 We have been listening to a lot of French jazz lately to get us into the Parisian mood. 290 00:16:56,166 --> 00:16:58,434 We're going while Penny's at camp. 291 00:16:58,458 --> 00:17:00,810 Have you ever been to France, Elise? 292 00:17:00,834 --> 00:17:02,810 Ow. 293 00:17:02,834 --> 00:17:05,643 Sorry. Just making sure that this is all really happening right now. 294 00:17:05,667 --> 00:17:07,518 We went on our honeymoon. Ah! 295 00:17:07,542 --> 00:17:10,476 And I've been dying, just dying to go back. 296 00:17:10,500 --> 00:17:14,810 It's so romantic and has these little cafés, and the Champs-Élysées and the wine. 297 00:17:14,834 --> 00:17:16,184 Bruce! 298 00:17:16,208 --> 00:17:17,518 Signal! 299 00:17:17,542 --> 00:17:19,309 Did I mention how romantic it is? 300 00:17:19,333 --> 00:17:22,463 You really should try to go sometime, Elise. 301 00:17:24,875 --> 00:17:26,518 Paris... 302 00:17:26,542 --> 00:17:28,851 Oh, and the Champs-Élysées and the wine. 303 00:17:28,875 --> 00:17:30,726 Just been dying to get back. 304 00:17:30,750 --> 00:17:31,893 It's so romantic. 305 00:17:31,917 --> 00:17:34,851 It has all these cute little cafés, and the street lamps, 306 00:17:34,875 --> 00:17:36,684 oh, the Champs-Élysées. 307 00:17:36,708 --> 00:17:39,017 And, oh, the butter and the cheese and the baguettes 308 00:17:39,041 --> 00:17:41,643 and oh, there's the wine. Oh, my God, Elise. 309 00:17:41,667 --> 00:17:44,226 It's fabulous. If you ever get a chance, I'm telling you... 310 00:17:44,250 --> 00:17:45,960 Paris! 311 00:17:48,667 --> 00:17:49,476 Ah! 312 00:17:49,500 --> 00:17:52,351 Oh, Bruce, come on. 313 00:17:52,375 --> 00:17:54,375 Well? 314 00:17:55,041 --> 00:17:56,393 No, don't touch that. 315 00:17:56,417 --> 00:17:58,851 First the lanterns, then the case of... 316 00:17:58,875 --> 00:18:00,955 It happens. 317 00:18:03,667 --> 00:18:05,518 Are we late? 318 00:18:05,542 --> 00:18:06,643 Not at all. 319 00:18:06,667 --> 00:18:10,559 I just remember drop-off day being a little more intense. 320 00:18:10,583 --> 00:18:12,184 Oh, it will be... tomorrow. 321 00:18:12,208 --> 00:18:14,434 Penny's a little younger than the other campers. 322 00:18:14,458 --> 00:18:18,559 I mean, not that she can't handle it. She is an incredibly mature six-year-old. 323 00:18:18,583 --> 00:18:19,935 Six? 324 00:18:19,959 --> 00:18:24,184 We just thought she might acclimate better if she had a day here without all that chaos. 325 00:18:24,208 --> 00:18:27,851 Plus between you and me, I have no desireto be here on drop-off day 326 00:18:27,875 --> 00:18:29,184 with all those neurotic moms. 327 00:18:29,208 --> 00:18:31,393 Bruce! Could you be a little louder? 328 00:18:31,417 --> 00:18:32,935 I still have my hearing. 329 00:18:32,959 --> 00:18:34,142 Got it. 330 00:18:34,166 --> 00:18:37,434 Anyway, I checked with Maxine, and it's totally fine. 331 00:18:37,458 --> 00:18:40,726 Maxine? As in Maxine Reynolds? 332 00:18:40,750 --> 00:18:43,851 Kathy, if she's telling you stories about me, only half of them are true. 333 00:18:43,875 --> 00:18:45,935 Hello! 334 00:18:45,959 --> 00:18:47,810 Max! Hi! 335 00:18:47,834 --> 00:18:49,600 Oh, when Sally told me you were coming, 336 00:18:49,625 --> 00:18:50,810 I slapped her. 337 00:18:50,834 --> 00:18:52,434 I straight up slapped an elderly woman, 338 00:18:52,458 --> 00:18:53,976 because I cannot believe you're here! 339 00:18:54,000 --> 00:18:56,893 Wow, Elise! You've not changed a bit in eight years. 340 00:18:56,917 --> 00:19:00,768 And you literally have not changed a bit in eight years. 341 00:19:00,792 --> 00:19:01,434 Well... 342 00:19:01,458 --> 00:19:02,976 Not true. 343 00:19:03,000 --> 00:19:04,601 She's finally lost her virginity. 344 00:19:04,625 --> 00:19:05,768 Barely. 345 00:19:05,792 --> 00:19:06,976 Allison. Hey. 346 00:19:07,000 --> 00:19:09,393 I saw you on my way to the mess. 347 00:19:09,417 --> 00:19:10,768 The mess? Uh-huh. 348 00:19:10,792 --> 00:19:12,226 Oh, God. 349 00:19:12,250 --> 00:19:15,476 Please don't tell me your mom is still up there making grilled cheese. 350 00:19:15,500 --> 00:19:16,768 No, no. 351 00:19:16,792 --> 00:19:17,700 Thank God. 352 00:19:17,725 --> 00:19:19,710 She's no longer with us. 353 00:19:20,625 --> 00:19:21,893 Allison, I'm so sorry. 354 00:19:21,917 --> 00:19:24,976 She's no longer with us because she retired to Boca Raton. 355 00:19:25,000 --> 00:19:27,601 Elise, don't believe anything that comes out of her mouth. 356 00:19:27,625 --> 00:19:29,976 I took over for her like six years ago. 357 00:19:30,000 --> 00:19:32,810 I don't mean to interrupt, but I couldn't help but overhear. 358 00:19:32,834 --> 00:19:34,851 Are you the Allison I've been emailing with? 359 00:19:34,875 --> 00:19:36,476 That depends. Who might you be? 360 00:19:36,500 --> 00:19:37,518 Where are my manners? 361 00:19:37,542 --> 00:19:38,700 Kathy Fefferman. 362 00:19:38,725 --> 00:19:40,684 Oh. Mrs. Fefferman. 363 00:19:40,708 --> 00:19:44,434 It is so nice to put a face to dozens and dozens of detailed emails. 364 00:19:44,458 --> 00:19:46,810 Do you have a minute? 365 00:19:46,834 --> 00:19:49,544 I'd like to go over Penny's dietary restrictions. 366 00:19:50,166 --> 00:19:52,286 I would love nothing more. 367 00:19:53,208 --> 00:19:56,768 Welcome back, business casual. 368 00:19:56,792 --> 00:19:59,101 Yeah, what is this look you got going on? 369 00:19:59,125 --> 00:20:01,935 Max, do you have a place I can charge this? 370 00:20:01,959 --> 00:20:04,476 Oh, there's no need. This is a 100 percent cell-free zone. 371 00:20:04,500 --> 00:20:05,684 Say what now? 372 00:20:05,708 --> 00:20:08,434 Yeah, there's zero service up here. I made sure of it. 373 00:20:08,458 --> 00:20:10,351 So let's go to your cabin! 374 00:20:10,375 --> 00:20:12,684 Grab your bags! Grab your trash bags! 375 00:20:12,708 --> 00:20:14,726 Only one of them is a trash bag. 376 00:20:14,750 --> 00:20:17,059 Luggage by Hefty. 377 00:20:17,083 --> 00:20:19,017 Were these Christmas gifts? 378 00:20:19,041 --> 00:20:20,851 How does it feel to be back? 379 00:20:20,875 --> 00:20:22,142 Very surreal. 380 00:20:22,166 --> 00:20:25,768 I had no idea that you and Allison would be here. 381 00:20:25,792 --> 00:20:28,976 What, have you just like not left since we were 19? 382 00:20:29,000 --> 00:20:31,518 I wish. But during the school year, I teach fourth grade 383 00:20:31,542 --> 00:20:32,559 in the South Loop. 384 00:20:32,583 --> 00:20:33,851 Hey, you live in Chicago? Uh-huh. 385 00:20:33,875 --> 00:20:37,017 I live in Chicago. I'm surprised I haven't run into you. 386 00:20:37,041 --> 00:20:40,476 Weird. But I really only hang out at like one bar, so. 387 00:20:40,500 --> 00:20:41,559 Oh, which one? 388 00:20:41,583 --> 00:20:43,684 It's called my couch. 389 00:20:43,708 --> 00:20:45,476 Yeah, they have really good box wine specials. 390 00:20:45,500 --> 00:20:46,726 Yeah, I love that place. 391 00:20:46,750 --> 00:20:48,184 It's really exclusive. 392 00:20:48,208 --> 00:20:51,393 Anyways, when I take over as camp director, I'll move up here full-time. 393 00:20:51,417 --> 00:20:52,518 Wait, is Sally retiring? 394 00:20:52,542 --> 00:20:53,893 She says it's her last year. 395 00:20:53,917 --> 00:20:58,184 I mean, nothing's actually been officially announced, but look at me. 396 00:20:58,208 --> 00:21:00,059 Yeah, you're a shoe-in. 397 00:21:00,083 --> 00:21:03,184 Hope so, or there's going to be a shoe in someone's ass. 398 00:21:03,208 --> 00:21:05,726 Cabin number six: your home sweet home for the summer. 399 00:21:05,750 --> 00:21:07,142 Wow. 400 00:21:07,166 --> 00:21:08,726 Just like you remembered it? 401 00:21:08,750 --> 00:21:11,059 A little smaller. 402 00:21:12,875 --> 00:21:15,684 So, what are you doing here? 403 00:21:15,708 --> 00:21:18,351 Not that I'm not completely thrilled to see you, 404 00:21:18,375 --> 00:21:22,935 because I am, but Sally said you're in publishing or you're a writer or something. 405 00:21:22,959 --> 00:21:24,101 Yeah, I am. 406 00:21:24,125 --> 00:21:26,101 I... 407 00:21:26,125 --> 00:21:28,017 I got a book deal. 408 00:21:28,041 --> 00:21:29,400 Seriously? 409 00:21:29,425 --> 00:21:30,893 Yeah. 410 00:21:30,917 --> 00:21:33,184 That is awesome, Elise! Congratulations! 411 00:21:33,208 --> 00:21:36,184 Thanks. Wow. 412 00:21:36,208 --> 00:21:39,434 Yeah, I thought I would get out of Chicago, 413 00:21:39,458 --> 00:21:42,958 get some peace and quiet for writing. 414 00:21:44,291 --> 00:21:48,351 Not that that will in any way keep me from providing care for your campers. 415 00:21:48,375 --> 00:21:51,142 Yeah. I don't care what you do in your free periods. 416 00:21:51,166 --> 00:21:52,810 Just don't slack on the clock. 417 00:21:52,834 --> 00:21:54,101 Oh, Takota honor. 418 00:21:54,125 --> 00:21:55,601 What is that? 419 00:21:55,625 --> 00:21:57,226 That? 420 00:21:57,250 --> 00:22:01,101 That's going to be an no, that's heavy metal rock or something like that. 421 00:22:01,125 --> 00:22:03,434 Oh, I remember now. This, right? 422 00:22:03,458 --> 00:22:05,059 Okay, that is not honorable. 423 00:22:05,083 --> 00:22:06,726 How dare you. 424 00:22:06,750 --> 00:22:10,559 Okay, get it out of your system before the kids get here! 425 00:22:51,166 --> 00:22:54,768 ...two, three fish. 426 00:22:54,792 --> 00:22:56,810 What's that? Oh, it's a fish! 427 00:22:56,834 --> 00:22:58,893 We see a fish! 428 00:22:58,917 --> 00:23:01,476 We see tons of them. 429 00:23:01,500 --> 00:23:03,184 Come on! 430 00:23:03,208 --> 00:23:04,684 I'll beat you there. 431 00:23:04,708 --> 00:23:06,851 Elise, wait up! 432 00:24:09,917 --> 00:24:11,601 Good morning, campers. 433 00:24:11,625 --> 00:24:13,559 Good morning, Sally. 434 00:24:13,583 --> 00:24:19,003 On behalf of the entire Takota staff, welcome to camp! 435 00:24:23,458 --> 00:24:25,601 I can't tell you how excited we are 436 00:24:25,625 --> 00:24:29,976 to be spending our 57th summer on the lake with you. 437 00:24:30,000 --> 00:24:33,518 Takota girls know how special this place is, 438 00:24:33,542 --> 00:24:36,059 that when you drive down that camp road, 439 00:24:36,083 --> 00:24:38,935 you know you're about to spend the summer growing 440 00:24:38,959 --> 00:24:41,559 and learning and, best of all, 441 00:24:41,583 --> 00:24:44,476 making lifelong friendships. 442 00:24:44,500 --> 00:24:48,601 It's so important to treasure these months away from school, 443 00:24:48,625 --> 00:24:54,726 and boys, so please, girls, keep the crushes on our handyman Chet 444 00:24:54,750 --> 00:24:57,101 to a minimum this year. 445 00:24:57,125 --> 00:25:01,393 Well, I can't wait to get started, and I know you can't either, 446 00:25:01,417 --> 00:25:04,434 so let's sign up for some activities! 447 00:25:04,458 --> 00:25:08,998 As soon as we're done talking about some restrictions! 448 00:25:09,166 --> 00:25:10,810 Alright, girls. 449 00:25:10,834 --> 00:25:13,476 We all know that camp rules. 450 00:25:13,500 --> 00:25:16,830 But let's talk about some camp rules. 451 00:25:19,708 --> 00:25:21,768 Hit it, Allison. 452 00:25:21,834 --> 00:25:24,017 ♪ Oh yeah, Takota. ♪ 453 00:25:24,041 --> 00:25:26,309 ♪ This ain't your boring camp rules breakdown. ♪ 454 00:25:26,333 --> 00:25:27,309 ♪ Uh-uh. ♪ 455 00:25:27,333 --> 00:25:29,643 ♪ This is me, breaking down camp rules. ♪ 456 00:25:29,667 --> 00:25:33,434 ♪ Rule number one: make your bunk, make your bunk. ♪ 457 00:25:33,458 --> 00:25:35,476 ♪ Oh yeah, Takota. ♪ 458 00:25:35,500 --> 00:25:37,830 ♪ Rule number two... ♪♪ 459 00:25:38,834 --> 00:25:40,309 Thank you very much, ladies. 460 00:25:40,333 --> 00:25:41,643 Hold the phone. 461 00:25:41,667 --> 00:25:44,684 I only got five bucks, and everyone else got 10. 462 00:25:44,708 --> 00:25:47,017 Let that be a lesson to you, Sarah. 463 00:25:47,041 --> 00:25:50,476 There's a time and a placefor improvisation, and my stage is neither the time, 464 00:25:50,500 --> 00:25:53,000 nor the place, okay? 465 00:25:53,500 --> 00:25:56,684 And Sarah, if you're going to sneak cigarettes into camp, 466 00:25:56,708 --> 00:25:59,643 have the decency to slap on some Bath and Body Works 467 00:25:59,667 --> 00:26:01,497 vanilla body spray, okay? 468 00:26:04,083 --> 00:26:05,833 Amateurs! 469 00:26:08,291 --> 00:26:10,351 Let me guess: cabin Robin's Egg? 470 00:26:10,375 --> 00:26:13,851 Yeah, when they get to Robin's Egg, they're like totes supes mature. 471 00:26:13,875 --> 00:26:15,518 They talk like that now. 472 00:26:15,542 --> 00:26:19,132 Hey, Robin's Egg is where I met my two best friends. 473 00:26:19,375 --> 00:26:20,851 Elise! 474 00:26:20,875 --> 00:26:22,684 I'm talking about my boobs. 475 00:26:22,708 --> 00:26:24,351 I grew two cup sizes that summer. 476 00:26:24,375 --> 00:26:26,226 How could I forget? 477 00:26:26,250 --> 00:26:29,726 Well, meet your new best friend. 478 00:26:29,750 --> 00:26:33,500 It's just a little something I whipped up to get you back in the Takota saddle. 479 00:26:33,525 --> 00:26:34,600 Oh, it's color-coded. 480 00:26:34,625 --> 00:26:35,726 Isn't it great? 481 00:26:35,750 --> 00:26:37,726 There's a detailed arts and crafts lesson plan, 482 00:26:37,750 --> 00:26:41,726 a chapter on Takota folklore, and then sheet music for all the camp songs. 483 00:26:41,750 --> 00:26:44,893 Thanks, Max. You know, I think I'm just going to wing it. 484 00:26:44,917 --> 00:26:45,851 Oh, no. 485 00:26:45,875 --> 00:26:49,226 We don't just wing stuff here at Takota, Elise. 486 00:26:49,250 --> 00:26:51,184 Max, it's camp. 487 00:26:51,208 --> 00:26:52,476 How hard can it be? 488 00:26:52,500 --> 00:26:55,130 No, you take that. 489 00:26:55,917 --> 00:26:58,226 Study up! 490 00:26:58,250 --> 00:27:00,040 Amateur. 491 00:27:04,083 --> 00:27:07,017 Good morning, campers! 492 00:27:17,458 --> 00:27:19,893 No! 493 00:27:32,959 --> 00:27:35,267 No. 494 00:27:37,959 --> 00:27:39,017 No! 495 00:27:39,041 --> 00:27:40,500 Girls, wait! 496 00:27:40,525 --> 00:27:42,393 I'm the trail leader, girls. 497 00:27:42,917 --> 00:27:44,476 Wait! 498 00:27:45,750 --> 00:27:48,580 We take our shirt, we drop it in. 499 00:27:48,792 --> 00:27:50,976 No! I'm not playing water balloons! 500 00:27:51,000 --> 00:27:54,851 Then you pull it out and, ah... 501 00:27:56,125 --> 00:27:58,309 Go ahead and try it. 502 00:28:24,458 --> 00:28:26,601 Can I hide in here for a while? 503 00:28:26,625 --> 00:28:28,351 Yeah, how long you need? 504 00:28:28,375 --> 00:28:30,768 Until August? 505 00:28:30,792 --> 00:28:33,184 Alright, well, if you're here, you've got to work. 506 00:28:33,208 --> 00:28:36,142 And sometimes it's not very... appealing. 507 00:28:36,166 --> 00:28:36,975 Oh, my God. 508 00:28:36,999 --> 00:28:39,518 Get ready for a lot of that. 509 00:28:39,542 --> 00:28:41,764 Can you just crush up a bunch of Adderall and 510 00:28:41,788 --> 00:28:43,935 put it in whatever you're making for dinner? 511 00:28:43,959 --> 00:28:45,351 Because these kids are maniacs. 512 00:28:45,375 --> 00:28:46,559 Oh, come on. 513 00:28:46,583 --> 00:28:47,643 We were way worse. 514 00:28:47,667 --> 00:28:48,851 That is not true. 515 00:28:48,875 --> 00:28:52,935 Elise, we exchanged our counselor's toothpaste for Vagisil. 516 00:28:52,959 --> 00:28:54,643 That is true. 517 00:28:54,667 --> 00:28:58,017 Anyway, if stuff ever gets too rough out there, just come in here 518 00:28:58,041 --> 00:29:00,518 and grab yourself a bowl of FiberNuts. 519 00:29:00,542 --> 00:29:04,643 Okay, I'm all for being regular, but I think I need something a little stronger than fiber, Al. 520 00:29:04,667 --> 00:29:06,957 Just go grab the box. 521 00:29:07,375 --> 00:29:10,205 Okay, weirdo. 522 00:29:17,750 --> 00:29:20,226 Just stick your hand in. 523 00:29:20,250 --> 00:29:22,684 You must be really good at dirty talk. 524 00:29:22,708 --> 00:29:25,059 Incidentally, yes. 525 00:29:27,041 --> 00:29:29,081 That's Max's secret stash. 526 00:29:29,250 --> 00:29:33,580 You think a kid's going to come in here for a healthy snack? 527 00:29:36,291 --> 00:29:38,393 So... 528 00:29:38,417 --> 00:29:40,184 who was the guy in the truck? 529 00:29:40,208 --> 00:29:41,267 Oh, Eli? 530 00:29:41,291 --> 00:29:42,476 Eli's great. 531 00:29:42,500 --> 00:29:45,726 Heads-up: he does spend nine months of the year as Eloise, 532 00:29:45,750 --> 00:29:49,059 but he does come up here in the summer to untuck his dingaling 533 00:29:49,083 --> 00:29:51,173 and grow some fresh vegetables. 534 00:29:52,417 --> 00:29:53,976 I can't believe you bought that. 535 00:29:54,000 --> 00:29:55,267 I said the word "dingaling." 536 00:29:55,291 --> 00:29:57,142 Why do you keep messing with me? 537 00:29:57,166 --> 00:29:58,726 Because I'm bored. 538 00:29:58,750 --> 00:30:00,768 I'm in the kitchen all day, every day, 539 00:30:00,792 --> 00:30:02,309 making 200 pounds of tater tots. 540 00:30:02,333 --> 00:30:04,768 Which were delicious, by the way. 541 00:30:04,792 --> 00:30:06,935 Thanks. Anyway, Eli's great. 542 00:30:06,959 --> 00:30:11,267 He's got a local farm across the lake, and he brings us fresh produce when he can. 543 00:30:11,291 --> 00:30:15,142 Because God knows our food budget only allows for stuff that's frozen or in a box. 544 00:30:15,166 --> 00:30:17,601 So he's a farmer. 545 00:30:17,625 --> 00:30:19,184 Somebody's interested. 546 00:30:19,208 --> 00:30:20,684 Oh, please. 547 00:30:20,708 --> 00:30:25,101 No, thank you. I am using this summer as a welcome break from penis. 548 00:30:25,125 --> 00:30:27,125 Story of my life. 549 00:30:28,959 --> 00:30:33,267 I knew you and Lindsay Johnson weren't just practicing Frenching! 550 00:30:33,291 --> 00:30:35,601 Yeah, but I got really good at it. 551 00:30:35,625 --> 00:30:37,684 Yeah, you got really good at being a stereotype. 552 00:30:37,708 --> 00:30:39,309 What are you talking about? 553 00:30:39,333 --> 00:30:41,810 This is cool! 554 00:30:43,041 --> 00:30:44,643 Oh, gosh. 555 00:30:44,667 --> 00:30:46,267 I've got to go. 556 00:30:46,291 --> 00:30:47,643 Okay. 557 00:30:47,667 --> 00:30:49,518 Come on, let's go. 558 00:30:49,542 --> 00:30:51,601 Hustle up. 559 00:31:02,583 --> 00:31:05,673 El? El, can you hear me? Over. 560 00:31:06,250 --> 00:31:08,059 Yep, I'm here. 561 00:31:08,083 --> 00:31:10,434 Have you seen the Penny Fefferman kid? 562 00:31:10,458 --> 00:31:14,393 She's the only kid from our cabin that isn't at the Lady Gaga ice cream social. 563 00:31:14,417 --> 00:31:15,267 Over. 564 00:31:15,291 --> 00:31:17,500 No, but I can go check on her cabin. 565 00:31:17,525 --> 00:31:18,559 That would be great. 566 00:31:18,583 --> 00:31:19,893 Thank you! 567 00:31:19,917 --> 00:31:22,142 Then get your ass down here. Over. 568 00:31:22,166 --> 00:31:24,184 I think I'm going to pass. 569 00:31:24,208 --> 00:31:26,998 You're supposed to say "over." Over. 570 00:31:28,208 --> 00:31:30,810 Over... it. 571 00:31:30,834 --> 00:31:34,059 That was rude, but clever. Over. 572 00:31:34,083 --> 00:31:37,643 McKensie! That is your third cone! 573 00:31:39,500 --> 00:31:41,476 Madison, you are lactose intolerant! 574 00:31:41,500 --> 00:31:44,643 Come on! 575 00:31:45,542 --> 00:31:47,351 Ah-ha! 576 00:31:47,375 --> 00:31:50,518 Caught you red-handed. 577 00:31:50,542 --> 00:31:55,172 I've been waiting four days to make that joke, and I wasted it on a six-year-old. 578 00:31:55,417 --> 00:31:58,351 Elise, are you going to tell on me? 579 00:31:58,375 --> 00:32:00,184 Oh, that depends. 580 00:32:00,208 --> 00:32:02,788 Did you bring the other one? 581 00:32:08,375 --> 00:32:10,785 Are you having fun at camp? 582 00:32:11,875 --> 00:32:13,559 Yeah. 583 00:32:13,583 --> 00:32:16,184 My thoughts exactly. 584 00:32:20,542 --> 00:32:22,893 Okay, girls. We all know 585 00:32:22,917 --> 00:32:27,226 that part of being a Takota girl means making the best out of a bad situation. 586 00:32:27,250 --> 00:32:29,241 So, even though it's going to storm tonight, and 587 00:32:29,265 --> 00:32:31,351 some jacked-up raccoons ruined our s'mores station, 588 00:32:31,375 --> 00:32:34,059 that doesn't mean that we can't have a campout. 589 00:32:34,083 --> 00:32:36,184 And what's the best part about a campout? 590 00:32:36,208 --> 00:32:37,184 Sleeping. 591 00:32:37,208 --> 00:32:39,226 That's right: ghost stories. 592 00:32:39,250 --> 00:32:42,267 Is this the Takota campout ghost story? 593 00:32:42,291 --> 00:32:43,518 Might be. 594 00:32:43,542 --> 00:32:44,768 Unless you're too scared. 595 00:32:44,792 --> 00:32:46,768 It's not scary at all. 596 00:32:46,792 --> 00:32:48,267 Oh, really? 597 00:32:48,291 --> 00:32:51,893 A hiker pushes his best friend off a mountain ledge, 598 00:32:51,917 --> 00:32:56,434 and now that friend's ghost roams these very woods, seeking revenge. 599 00:32:56,458 --> 00:32:58,538 That's not scary to you? 600 00:32:59,125 --> 00:33:02,810 Okay. Well, what if I told you that the Takota ghost 601 00:33:02,834 --> 00:33:07,810 is lured to campfires, just like the campfires we have back at camp? 602 00:33:07,834 --> 00:33:09,518 That's never happened. 603 00:33:09,542 --> 00:33:11,893 Yes, it has. 604 00:33:11,917 --> 00:33:15,768 In fact, there's someone at camp right now who's seen the ghost 605 00:33:15,792 --> 00:33:17,226 with their own eyes. 606 00:33:17,250 --> 00:33:19,250 Prove it. 607 00:33:19,458 --> 00:33:21,628 Okay. 608 00:33:21,792 --> 00:33:24,684 Do you know that new counselor, Elise? 609 00:33:24,708 --> 00:33:28,434 Well, back when she was a camper, probably about your age, 610 00:33:28,458 --> 00:33:30,851 the ghost showed up at her campout. 611 00:33:30,875 --> 00:33:34,518 In fact, last night, she said she saw the ghost 612 00:33:34,542 --> 00:33:38,476 roaming the woods, moaning in pain. 613 00:33:38,500 --> 00:33:41,184 "Elise... 614 00:33:41,208 --> 00:33:45,184 Elise..." 615 00:33:46,667 --> 00:33:48,377 "Elise." 616 00:33:49,875 --> 00:33:51,745 Goodnight, girls. 617 00:33:52,625 --> 00:33:54,705 Sleep tight. 618 00:34:13,625 --> 00:34:15,665 Oh, dear God. 619 00:34:16,208 --> 00:34:17,851 ...but like an actual tater tot. 620 00:34:17,875 --> 00:34:19,643 Max? Max, are you there? 621 00:34:19,667 --> 00:34:20,851 Hold on. 622 00:34:20,875 --> 00:34:23,017 This is Max. Over. 623 00:34:23,041 --> 00:34:25,559 Can you come into the cabin? It's an emergency. 624 00:34:25,583 --> 00:34:26,851 Yeah. We'll be right there. 625 00:34:26,875 --> 00:34:28,017 What is this all about? 626 00:34:28,041 --> 00:34:30,726 She probably got a tater tot in her butt. 627 00:34:30,750 --> 00:34:31,726 Shut up. 628 00:34:31,750 --> 00:34:34,684 I just needed to get a second opinion. 629 00:34:34,708 --> 00:34:38,559 Well, my opinion is that it is great to have you back. 630 00:34:38,583 --> 00:34:41,673 Seriously, what is going on down there? 631 00:34:43,542 --> 00:34:45,184 Okay. 632 00:34:45,208 --> 00:34:49,393 Initial thoughts. You clearly take a lot of pride in grooming. 633 00:34:49,417 --> 00:34:51,226 I mean, wow, Elise. 634 00:34:51,250 --> 00:34:53,559 Also, watch where you squat, dum-dum. 635 00:34:53,583 --> 00:34:56,267 You've got poison ivy all up in your hoo-ha. 636 00:34:56,291 --> 00:34:57,600 And it's bad. 637 00:34:57,625 --> 00:35:00,017 It's really bad! It's really bad. 638 00:35:00,041 --> 00:35:01,559 Wait, that's... 639 00:35:01,583 --> 00:35:02,601 that's it? 640 00:35:02,625 --> 00:35:04,226 Yeah. 641 00:35:04,250 --> 00:35:06,017 Are you positive? I'm positive. 642 00:35:06,041 --> 00:35:08,893 I'm positive, Elise. 643 00:35:10,083 --> 00:35:13,559 My brain just goes to the worst-case scenario, you know? 644 00:35:13,583 --> 00:35:16,226 I thought it was like the herp or something. 645 00:35:16,250 --> 00:35:18,768 Did you just call it "the herp"? 646 00:35:18,792 --> 00:35:22,726 Elise, you make an STD sound like a '60s dance craze. 647 00:35:22,750 --> 00:35:25,059 ♪♪ Come on, everybody, let's do the herp. ♪ 648 00:35:25,083 --> 00:35:26,142 ♪ Ba-ba-ba ooh-mow-mow. ♪ 649 00:35:26,166 --> 00:35:27,226 ♪ Ba-ba ooh-mow-mow. ♪ 650 00:35:27,250 --> 00:35:29,309 ♪ I said, I'm doing the herp. ♪♪ 651 00:35:29,333 --> 00:35:32,423 Guys, it's not -- this is not funny! 652 00:35:32,834 --> 00:35:34,893 Alright. Okay. 653 00:35:34,917 --> 00:35:37,726 I can go get some oatmeal and make an oatmeal bath. 654 00:35:37,750 --> 00:35:40,267 You can run to the infirmary, grab some calamine lotion. 655 00:35:40,291 --> 00:35:43,476 And then Elise, if you could just start putting all of your underwear 656 00:35:43,500 --> 00:35:45,309 in the freezer, it would be great. 657 00:35:45,333 --> 00:35:48,810 No, but seriously, like how often do you wax? Because it looks like a Barbie down there. 658 00:35:48,834 --> 00:35:51,893 Yeah, seriously. And the underwear will help because it's hot like a campfire. 659 00:35:51,917 --> 00:35:53,768 Oh, yeah. It is generating some heat, girl. 660 00:35:53,792 --> 00:35:54,726 Thank you. 661 00:35:54,750 --> 00:35:56,434 You can be a campfire with that crotch. 662 00:35:56,458 --> 00:36:01,017 We're done! We're done! We're done! 663 00:36:11,208 --> 00:36:13,851 Okay, alright. 664 00:36:13,875 --> 00:36:16,684 Alright, girls? 665 00:36:17,458 --> 00:36:19,309 Okay, calm down. 666 00:36:19,333 --> 00:36:21,893 Calm down, you little maniacs! 667 00:36:23,000 --> 00:36:24,976 Girls... 668 00:36:25,000 --> 00:36:27,290 girls, I'm pregnant! 669 00:36:28,959 --> 00:36:31,101 Works on all ages. Very cool. 670 00:36:31,125 --> 00:36:35,309 Today we are going to take the flowers that we picked yesterday, 671 00:36:35,333 --> 00:36:38,643 and we're going to press them and turn them into some cool bookmarks. 672 00:36:38,667 --> 00:36:41,747 Did everyone bring a book like I asked them to? 673 00:36:45,417 --> 00:36:47,142 Wonderful. 674 00:36:47,166 --> 00:36:50,456 Okay, let's start picking our flowers. 675 00:36:51,708 --> 00:36:53,810 Elise, can I get your roll? 676 00:36:53,834 --> 00:36:55,184 Everyone's here. 677 00:36:55,208 --> 00:36:58,038 I still need it for the office. 678 00:37:02,000 --> 00:37:03,643 This is a Slim Jim wrapper. 679 00:37:03,667 --> 00:37:06,787 Yeah. Roll with it, Cassidy. 680 00:37:06,917 --> 00:37:09,184 Okay. 681 00:37:09,208 --> 00:37:12,059 By the way, the office wanted me to bring you these phone messages. 682 00:37:12,083 --> 00:37:15,543 Somebody's popular. 683 00:37:26,542 --> 00:37:27,643 Oh, look! 684 00:37:27,667 --> 00:37:30,518 Elise got some love notes! 685 00:37:31,041 --> 00:37:32,768 Girls, stop. 686 00:37:32,792 --> 00:37:33,851 Give those back. 687 00:37:33,875 --> 00:37:35,059 Girls. 688 00:37:35,083 --> 00:37:36,518 Girls. 689 00:37:36,542 --> 00:37:37,559 Give me them. 690 00:37:37,583 --> 00:37:41,059 ♪♪ Jeff and Elise, sitting in a tree, ♪ 691 00:37:41,083 --> 00:37:44,601 ♪ K-I-S-S-I-N-G! ♪ 692 00:37:44,625 --> 00:37:46,267 ♪ First comes love -- ♪♪ 693 00:37:46,291 --> 00:37:48,541 Oh, my God! Shut up! 694 00:37:52,542 --> 00:37:54,752 There was no tree. 695 00:37:54,917 --> 00:37:59,935 Yeah, there was K-I-S-S-I-N-G -ing, but guess what? 696 00:37:59,959 --> 00:38:02,726 It wasn't with me. 697 00:38:02,750 --> 00:38:04,893 And that's okay, because you know what, girls? 698 00:38:04,917 --> 00:38:07,518 I'm here to tell you the truth. 699 00:38:07,542 --> 00:38:12,542 And the truth is that love doesn't exist. 700 00:38:12,750 --> 00:38:17,460 It is a concept that's been created by jewelry stores and all-inclusive cruise ships! 701 00:38:18,417 --> 00:38:21,267 Because when you think that you've found love, 702 00:38:21,291 --> 00:38:24,434 you find out that you found love's side-piece named Vanessa, 703 00:38:24,458 --> 00:38:30,810 who has really beautiful hair and somehow always looks good in boy shorts! 704 00:38:30,834 --> 00:38:32,476 Hey, Elise... 705 00:38:32,500 --> 00:38:35,017 can I speak to you for a second? 706 00:38:35,041 --> 00:38:39,309 And that is why I love daisies. 707 00:38:39,333 --> 00:38:42,253 I'll be right back. 708 00:38:46,959 --> 00:38:48,935 What the hell is the matter with you? 709 00:38:48,959 --> 00:38:51,476 Nothing. I'm fine. It's PMS. 710 00:38:51,500 --> 00:38:55,893 Okay, well then, eat a cookie; don't have a meltdown in front of a bunch of little kids. 711 00:38:55,917 --> 00:38:56,726 Okay, Elise. 712 00:38:56,750 --> 00:38:58,600 Here's what we're going to do, okay? 713 00:38:58,625 --> 00:39:01,810 I'm going to go finish the Katy Perry Kayak Jam, you are going 714 00:39:01,834 --> 00:39:05,142 to finish class, and then me, you and Al will go 715 00:39:05,166 --> 00:39:06,476 up to the cabin, okay? 716 00:39:06,500 --> 00:39:07,851 We'll get our grown-up time on. 717 00:39:07,875 --> 00:39:09,309 Okay. 718 00:39:09,333 --> 00:39:12,184 And then we're going to figure all this out. Okay? 719 00:39:12,208 --> 00:39:13,518 Yeah. 720 00:39:13,542 --> 00:39:16,643 Elise! You're not a robot after all. 721 00:39:16,667 --> 00:39:17,976 Don't rust your little robot parts. 722 00:39:18,000 --> 00:39:19,226 Okay. 723 00:39:19,250 --> 00:39:20,810 It'll be okay. Okay. 724 00:39:20,834 --> 00:39:21,768 Can you finish class? Yes. 725 00:39:21,792 --> 00:39:22,810 You okay? Yeah. 726 00:39:22,834 --> 00:39:24,267 Go finish class. 727 00:39:24,291 --> 00:39:25,935 Do you want a lollipop? No! 728 00:39:25,959 --> 00:39:26,893 Okay. 729 00:39:26,917 --> 00:39:27,976 Okay. 730 00:39:28,000 --> 00:39:31,540 Okay! Oh... 731 00:39:33,375 --> 00:39:37,810 I just don't get why you wouldn't tell us the truth about why you came to camp. 732 00:39:37,834 --> 00:39:41,184 Well, A, I was trying to forget about it, and B, 733 00:39:41,208 --> 00:39:42,851 it's embarrassing. 734 00:39:42,875 --> 00:39:45,684 No, the fact that you peed your bunk until you were 11, 735 00:39:45,708 --> 00:39:47,017 that's embarrassing. 736 00:39:47,041 --> 00:39:49,351 That was a rough summer to be bottom bunk. 737 00:39:49,375 --> 00:39:52,017 But you shouldn't be embarrassed about this. 738 00:39:52,041 --> 00:39:56,142 You might want to rethink the company that you keep, though. That's just a thought. 739 00:39:56,166 --> 00:39:57,939 You know, I should've known that he was 740 00:39:57,963 --> 00:39:59,976 cheating on me. There was never any problems. 741 00:40:00,000 --> 00:40:03,226 When there is no problem, that's a problem. 742 00:40:03,250 --> 00:40:07,142 I just can't believe you were the one to leak the Walker Paige photos. 743 00:40:07,166 --> 00:40:10,017 I mean, I always thought he would make such a beautiful lesbian. 744 00:40:10,041 --> 00:40:13,684 Oh, speaking of, did I tell you that I finally reread my book. 745 00:40:13,708 --> 00:40:14,893 Oh, it's bad. 746 00:40:14,917 --> 00:40:16,684 It's like epically awful. 747 00:40:16,708 --> 00:40:18,976 El, I'm sure it's not that bad. 748 00:40:19,000 --> 00:40:22,559 It's about a Loch Ness monster that gets turned into a teenage boy 749 00:40:22,583 --> 00:40:26,351 and has to keep his mythical secret from his girlfriend 750 00:40:26,375 --> 00:40:29,165 who turns out to be a centaur. 751 00:40:29,291 --> 00:40:31,059 Okay, that sounds like a hot mess. 752 00:40:31,083 --> 00:40:32,101 More like a hot Ness. 753 00:40:32,125 --> 00:40:33,309 Nice! 754 00:40:33,333 --> 00:40:35,184 That book sounds cen-taurded. 755 00:40:35,208 --> 00:40:37,017 Okay. Judges? 756 00:40:37,041 --> 00:40:38,684 Yeah, we're going to take it. 757 00:40:38,708 --> 00:40:44,393 But the most frustrating thing is that I don't even like that YA fantasy romance crap, 758 00:40:44,417 --> 00:40:47,601 but it's like that's what's popular, so I'll write it. 759 00:40:47,625 --> 00:40:49,393 Hot guy, good job, I'll marry it. 760 00:40:49,417 --> 00:40:52,267 Even if we're not right for each other. 761 00:40:52,291 --> 00:40:54,059 He was too good for me. 762 00:40:54,083 --> 00:40:55,226 Elise. 763 00:40:55,250 --> 00:40:59,184 This guy cheated on you two weeks before your wedding. 764 00:40:59,208 --> 00:41:03,434 Yeah, I know, the image of Vanessa is burned into my brain forever. 765 00:41:03,458 --> 00:41:07,393 But it's like I put on this "I have my shit together" façade 766 00:41:07,417 --> 00:41:09,226 just to be good enough for him. 767 00:41:09,250 --> 00:41:11,810 Good enough for him? 768 00:41:11,834 --> 00:41:13,643 He was Ivy League. 769 00:41:13,667 --> 00:41:15,768 He wrote for Fortune Magazine. 770 00:41:15,792 --> 00:41:17,935 He had five percent body fat! 771 00:41:17,959 --> 00:41:18,935 That sounds boring. 772 00:41:18,959 --> 00:41:20,017 Mm-hmm. 773 00:41:20,041 --> 00:41:22,935 Look. El, stop. Stop it! 774 00:41:22,959 --> 00:41:25,226 El, look: all that's done now. 775 00:41:25,250 --> 00:41:27,184 So you can act however you want. 776 00:41:27,208 --> 00:41:29,393 You can write whatever you want. 777 00:41:29,417 --> 00:41:31,434 You can be whatever you want. 778 00:41:31,458 --> 00:41:34,142 I just want to be me. 779 00:41:34,166 --> 00:41:37,376 But like a happy version. 780 00:41:42,125 --> 00:41:44,976 Oh, that's just like a local goat cheese, some fresh arugula 781 00:41:45,000 --> 00:41:47,476 from Eli's garden, some thinly-sliced pickled beets 782 00:41:47,500 --> 00:41:50,601 that I did last week, but it's basically a grilled cheese. 783 00:41:50,625 --> 00:41:53,184 And my mouth is basically pregnant. 784 00:41:53,208 --> 00:41:54,434 Oh, please. 785 00:41:54,458 --> 00:41:56,267 When did you become such an iron chef? 786 00:41:56,291 --> 00:41:59,309 Oh, speaking of, I would totally do that Bobby Flay one. 787 00:41:59,333 --> 00:42:02,309 Okay, you have officially been at an all-girls camp for too long. 788 00:42:02,333 --> 00:42:04,643 No, I have a weakness for the Irish. 789 00:42:04,667 --> 00:42:06,184 And a weakness for weird faces. 790 00:42:06,208 --> 00:42:08,184 And for the second course... 791 00:42:08,208 --> 00:42:10,976 Ooh, grandma's recipe? 792 00:42:28,208 --> 00:42:30,976 Oh, please, no. Please, no. 793 00:42:37,417 --> 00:42:39,017 You're flying! 794 00:42:39,041 --> 00:42:40,226 Flying! 795 00:42:40,250 --> 00:42:41,351 She's not even trying! 796 00:42:41,375 --> 00:42:43,476 I don't want to try! 797 00:43:29,083 --> 00:43:31,851 Because you were so good at making stuff up, man. 798 00:43:31,875 --> 00:43:33,226 You remember the dance? 799 00:43:33,250 --> 00:43:35,226 No, I still do that dance. 800 00:43:35,250 --> 00:43:37,226 No, you don't. No, you don't. 801 00:43:37,250 --> 00:43:39,226 Yes, I do. It totally -- no. 802 00:43:39,250 --> 00:43:40,726 Look. It went... 803 00:43:40,750 --> 00:43:44,559 ♪♪ I hate it when the summer ends. Got to say goodbye to ♪ 804 00:43:44,583 --> 00:43:47,017 ♪ My best friends! ♪ 805 00:43:47,041 --> 00:43:50,059 ♪ Camp Takota, I love you so and I don't know how the rest goes. ♪ 806 00:43:50,083 --> 00:43:51,017 How'd it go? 807 00:43:51,041 --> 00:43:53,142 I just remember that you end it in splits. 808 00:43:53,166 --> 00:43:54,101 Obviously. Signature move. 809 00:43:54,125 --> 00:43:55,935 Allison, where's the thing for the thing? 810 00:43:55,959 --> 00:43:57,434 To the sink, by the kitchen. 811 00:43:57,458 --> 00:44:01,267 Will you help me move this? I want more room for my dance move. 812 00:44:01,291 --> 00:44:02,309 Oh, you got it, girl. 813 00:44:02,333 --> 00:44:05,476 Beep! Beep! 814 00:44:07,166 --> 00:44:08,935 What the hell are you doing? 815 00:44:08,959 --> 00:44:10,434 I don't know! 816 00:44:10,458 --> 00:44:14,267 He scared me, so I did the break a beer bottle as a weapon thing. 817 00:44:14,291 --> 00:44:16,726 Jesus, Elise. This is a mountain, not a 1980s street fight. 818 00:44:16,750 --> 00:44:19,267 I never knew you were so ride or die. 819 00:44:19,291 --> 00:44:21,834 I'm sorry. You scared me, and I guess this is how 820 00:44:21,858 --> 00:44:24,476 I react when someone scares the onions out of me! 821 00:44:24,500 --> 00:44:25,935 What? What? What? 822 00:44:25,959 --> 00:44:26,768 I don't know. 823 00:44:26,792 --> 00:44:30,101 I just knocked and said, "Anyone home?" 824 00:44:30,125 --> 00:44:31,601 You looked menacing! 825 00:44:31,625 --> 00:44:32,559 Your friend is crazy. 826 00:44:32,583 --> 00:44:35,309 Yeah, she is. Crazy, this is Eli. 827 00:44:35,333 --> 00:44:38,833 Eli, this is crazy, sometimes known as Elise. 828 00:44:40,959 --> 00:44:42,643 I'm going to clean this up. 829 00:44:42,667 --> 00:44:45,601 It's a pleasure to meet you. 830 00:44:45,625 --> 00:44:46,643 No.. ooh! 831 00:44:46,667 --> 00:44:49,810 Oh! Oh, no! 832 00:44:49,834 --> 00:44:51,434 Oh. Oh, that looks pretty bad. 833 00:44:51,458 --> 00:44:54,476 Here, put some pressure on it. Don't freak out! 834 00:44:54,500 --> 00:44:57,810 Okay, no. Okay, you know what? We should probably take her to the infirmary. 835 00:44:57,834 --> 00:45:00,476 Alright, I'm going to drive, because you two are blasted. 836 00:45:00,500 --> 00:45:02,476 It's debatable. 837 00:45:02,500 --> 00:45:04,518 Elise, hold down the fort and we'll pick you up in the morning. 838 00:45:04,542 --> 00:45:05,643 Eli! Be a man! 839 00:45:05,667 --> 00:45:07,309 What do you want me to do? 840 00:45:07,333 --> 00:45:09,017 Grab her feet; she's choking me! Come on. 841 00:45:09,041 --> 00:45:10,017 Don't break anything else. 842 00:45:10,041 --> 00:45:12,184 You are heavy for your size. 843 00:45:12,208 --> 00:45:12,768 Goodnight. 844 00:45:12,792 --> 00:45:15,002 Ow! Ow. 845 00:45:28,208 --> 00:45:30,288 Wake up. 846 00:45:31,375 --> 00:45:34,245 Please don't punch me in the face. 847 00:45:35,417 --> 00:45:37,957 Morning. 848 00:45:41,291 --> 00:45:44,381 I told Max I'd take you back to camp. 849 00:45:44,959 --> 00:45:46,829 What's wrong? 850 00:45:48,583 --> 00:45:53,184 Well, based on the first impression I gave you last night, 851 00:45:53,208 --> 00:45:56,918 I guess there is no need trying to be cool now. 852 00:46:01,458 --> 00:46:04,128 You are a vision. 853 00:46:04,375 --> 00:46:06,101 And that is a lot of pee. 854 00:46:06,125 --> 00:46:08,665 You're a lot of pee! 855 00:46:10,959 --> 00:46:11,393 Get off me. 856 00:46:11,417 --> 00:46:14,167 Yep, still there. 857 00:46:28,250 --> 00:46:30,393 I'll get your clothes back to you soon. 858 00:46:30,417 --> 00:46:32,434 Not worried about it. 859 00:46:35,792 --> 00:46:40,601 Only I could manage to look like the walk of shame at an all-girls camp. 860 00:46:44,166 --> 00:46:46,226 Can I ask you a question? 861 00:46:46,250 --> 00:46:47,810 Yeah, go for it. 862 00:46:47,834 --> 00:46:51,434 Aren't you a little old to be a camp counselor? 863 00:46:52,291 --> 00:46:53,810 Wow! 864 00:46:53,834 --> 00:46:56,393 You are quite the panty-dropper. 865 00:46:56,417 --> 00:46:58,643 Would you like to know my weight, too? 866 00:46:58,667 --> 00:47:03,726 I'm just saying the campers probably think that you're a narc. 867 00:47:03,750 --> 00:47:08,309 Well, yeah, it's how I get them to give up their weed. 868 00:47:14,417 --> 00:47:15,893 Do you want to know the truth? 869 00:47:15,917 --> 00:47:16,476 Yeah. 870 00:47:16,500 --> 00:47:18,643 Okay. 871 00:47:21,500 --> 00:47:27,768 Well, I caught my fiancée cheating on me, 872 00:47:27,792 --> 00:47:30,462 and I got fired from my job. 873 00:47:30,959 --> 00:47:36,669 So I just wanted to get away from my life for a few months. 874 00:47:37,500 --> 00:47:39,080 I'm really sorry. 875 00:47:40,291 --> 00:47:42,791 But that makes two of us. 876 00:47:44,125 --> 00:47:45,226 What do you mean? 877 00:47:45,250 --> 00:47:48,601 I built my farm with my now ex-wife. 878 00:47:48,625 --> 00:47:49,518 Oooh. 879 00:47:49,542 --> 00:47:50,643 Yeah. 880 00:47:50,667 --> 00:47:52,810 She wanted it as a getaway. 881 00:47:52,834 --> 00:47:56,434 But apparently she just really wanted to get away... 882 00:47:56,458 --> 00:47:59,378 with my best friend, actually. 883 00:47:59,667 --> 00:48:01,518 Ooh, ouch. 884 00:48:01,542 --> 00:48:02,434 Yeah. 885 00:48:02,458 --> 00:48:04,628 Okay, you win. 886 00:48:05,708 --> 00:48:08,017 You know what? I did actually kind of win. 887 00:48:08,041 --> 00:48:09,643 You know, she hated it here. 888 00:48:09,667 --> 00:48:14,434 She tried to like it, but she was just more of a cover girl in coveralls, you know? 889 00:48:14,458 --> 00:48:15,601 Mm-hmm. 890 00:48:15,625 --> 00:48:18,893 And I got out of the divorce with a really rad farm 891 00:48:18,917 --> 00:48:22,537 and some amazing trust issues. 892 00:48:24,125 --> 00:48:26,184 I'm sorry; that was so stupid. 893 00:48:26,208 --> 00:48:28,668 No, no! It was funny. 894 00:48:28,708 --> 00:48:31,788 Does this laundry room come with a two-drink minimum? 895 00:48:33,375 --> 00:48:36,684 Yeah, I actually don't know what I'm saying at all right now. 896 00:48:36,708 --> 00:48:38,267 Just no idea. 897 00:48:38,291 --> 00:48:39,851 I think I'm... 898 00:48:39,875 --> 00:48:42,559 I think you make me a little nervous. 899 00:48:42,583 --> 00:48:45,726 Well, being threatened with shards of glass will do that to a person. 900 00:48:45,750 --> 00:48:48,726 Yeah. No. 901 00:48:48,750 --> 00:48:53,080 Not "I'm scared of you" nervous, but you are intimidating. 902 00:48:53,625 --> 00:48:56,017 Intimidating? 903 00:48:56,041 --> 00:48:58,726 You found me asleep in my own urine? 904 00:48:58,750 --> 00:49:01,393 But you did it with such confidence; it was beautiful. 905 00:49:01,417 --> 00:49:04,393 Yeah, I did. 906 00:49:04,417 --> 00:49:07,226 Well, if it'll make you feel any less nervous, how about this? 907 00:49:07,250 --> 00:49:09,393 I have poison ivy all over my crotch. 908 00:49:09,417 --> 00:49:10,726 Oh. Wow. 909 00:49:10,750 --> 00:49:12,434 A lot. 910 00:49:12,458 --> 00:49:14,226 Now I officially pity you. 911 00:49:14,250 --> 00:49:16,518 I am so sorry. 912 00:49:16,542 --> 00:49:18,226 Exactly. 913 00:49:18,250 --> 00:49:20,130 I am a mess. 914 00:49:20,583 --> 00:49:23,434 I like it. 915 00:49:28,625 --> 00:49:35,625 Look, if you ever want someone to talk to, I do a lot of night fishing. 916 00:49:35,959 --> 00:49:39,267 Maybe you can just give me a couple of flashes off the dock 917 00:49:39,291 --> 00:49:41,601 and I will row over. 918 00:49:42,458 --> 00:49:45,059 What? What's so funny? 919 00:49:45,083 --> 00:49:49,101 Do you always ask girls to flash you from across the lake? 920 00:49:49,125 --> 00:49:51,601 Flashes with a flashlight, perv. 921 00:49:51,625 --> 00:49:53,726 Oh! Oh! 922 00:49:53,750 --> 00:49:55,559 Right, right. 923 00:49:56,500 --> 00:50:00,309 Okay. Well, I'm going to leave now, because you ruined the moment. 924 00:50:00,333 --> 00:50:00,935 What? 925 00:50:00,959 --> 00:50:03,329 Were we having a moment? 926 00:50:03,458 --> 00:50:04,309 I thought so. 927 00:50:04,333 --> 00:50:06,643 Well, warn me next time, why don't you? 928 00:50:06,667 --> 00:50:08,267 Alright. 929 00:50:08,291 --> 00:50:11,267 I will see you later. Narc. 930 00:50:11,291 --> 00:50:14,601 Goodbye. Bye. 931 00:50:14,625 --> 00:50:17,205 Bye. 932 00:50:18,834 --> 00:50:19,935 Hello, Eli. 933 00:50:19,959 --> 00:50:22,499 Hey, Max. 934 00:50:28,041 --> 00:50:29,935 I peed all over your blankets. 935 00:50:29,959 --> 00:50:30,935 Oh! 936 00:50:30,959 --> 00:50:32,309 Look at you! 937 00:50:32,333 --> 00:50:34,684 Finally acting like your old self again. 938 00:50:34,708 --> 00:50:38,309 Did you apologize to Eli for almost shivving him last night? 939 00:50:38,333 --> 00:50:40,309 Yeah, I'm sorry about that. 940 00:50:40,333 --> 00:50:41,601 Eli's cute, huh? 941 00:50:41,625 --> 00:50:43,684 Okay, Max. Stop. 942 00:50:43,708 --> 00:50:48,518 The last thing I need is to invite someone else into this crazy town. 943 00:50:48,542 --> 00:50:50,851 Well, actually, you guys have a lot in common. 944 00:50:50,875 --> 00:50:52,059 Oh, obviously. 945 00:50:52,083 --> 00:50:55,293 You know how interested I am in farming. 946 00:50:55,917 --> 00:50:58,017 What did you come in here for? 947 00:50:58,041 --> 00:51:01,684 Well, I definitely didn't come in to look at Chet through the window 948 00:51:01,708 --> 00:51:03,684 and crank this baby to spin cycle. 949 00:51:03,708 --> 00:51:04,935 And that's my cue. 950 00:51:04,959 --> 00:51:05,851 It's my favorite sport. 951 00:51:05,875 --> 00:51:07,017 Okay. 952 00:51:07,041 --> 00:51:09,631 I'm really lonely! 953 00:51:12,333 --> 00:51:14,833 Hey, there, my favorite sweat machine. 954 00:51:21,875 --> 00:51:23,726 Ah. See, girls? 955 00:51:23,750 --> 00:51:27,267 Isn't it great to get out of the craft hut and get some fresh air? 956 00:51:27,291 --> 00:51:29,768 No. Fresh air's totes overrated. 957 00:51:29,792 --> 00:51:31,351 Okay. 958 00:51:31,375 --> 00:51:33,893 Well, you picked the wrong place to be this summer. 959 00:51:33,917 --> 00:51:36,893 Duh. Next summer, I am staying home and hanging by the pool. 960 00:51:36,917 --> 00:51:39,393 Oh, Sarah. 961 00:51:39,417 --> 00:51:43,684 This is the part of the conversation where I ignore you and continue being in a good mood! 962 00:51:43,708 --> 00:51:45,059 I can respect that. 963 00:51:45,083 --> 00:51:47,810 Girls, look. That's where I had my first-ever campout at Takota. 964 00:51:47,834 --> 00:51:49,393 Aww. 965 00:51:49,417 --> 00:51:50,726 Keep going! 966 00:51:50,750 --> 00:51:52,920 Sweet life tour. Blech! 967 00:51:56,708 --> 00:51:59,559 I bet that's where she saw the ghost. 968 00:52:10,542 --> 00:52:11,935 Hey, Chet. 969 00:52:11,959 --> 00:52:14,226 Max, we have a problem. 970 00:52:14,250 --> 00:52:15,976 Are raccoons stealing your sleeves again? 971 00:52:16,000 --> 00:52:17,559 No. 972 00:52:17,583 --> 00:52:19,673 Okay. 973 00:52:21,500 --> 00:52:22,601 Just, okay. 974 00:52:22,625 --> 00:52:25,935 The roof of the far east cabin is in really rough shape 975 00:52:25,959 --> 00:52:27,810 to the point it's falling in. 976 00:52:27,834 --> 00:52:29,726 Can we call it a skylight? 977 00:52:29,750 --> 00:52:30,935 Okay. 978 00:52:30,959 --> 00:52:32,267 What is that? 979 00:52:32,291 --> 00:52:34,726 I'll just have them camp-out tonight. 980 00:52:34,750 --> 00:52:39,893 Would you get whatever you need from the hardware store? 981 00:52:39,917 --> 00:52:40,768 I caught it. 982 00:52:40,792 --> 00:52:43,422 I know. 983 00:52:50,291 --> 00:52:54,351 Does Mama need some FiberNuts? 984 00:52:54,959 --> 00:52:57,379 Come on, Chet! 985 00:52:59,834 --> 00:53:01,476 Oh, no. 986 00:53:01,500 --> 00:53:04,017 We'll rip everything out and put in brand new fiber-optic cable. 987 00:53:04,041 --> 00:53:05,643 Absolutely everything will be state-of-the-art. 988 00:53:05,667 --> 00:53:07,309 Wait, what's Jared doing here? I don't know. 989 00:53:07,333 --> 00:53:11,017 Everyone will have a camp-issued tablet to ensure that everyone is in constant contact 990 00:53:11,041 --> 00:53:12,601 with each other without ever -- 991 00:53:12,625 --> 00:53:13,643 What's he saying? Hush up. 992 00:53:13,667 --> 00:53:15,957 Kyle... 993 00:53:17,000 --> 00:53:18,643 What, are we looking for a contact? 994 00:53:18,667 --> 00:53:21,037 Shh! 995 00:53:23,000 --> 00:53:26,460 Oh, this is gross. 996 00:53:31,667 --> 00:53:33,957 Kyle? 997 00:53:35,333 --> 00:53:37,893 Now, the cabins have to be demo'd, obvi. 998 00:53:37,917 --> 00:53:40,643 And we'll put up the dormitories instead. 999 00:53:40,667 --> 00:53:41,643 Where's the dormitory? 1000 00:53:41,667 --> 00:53:42,684 It's right here, Kyle. 1001 00:53:42,708 --> 00:53:44,184 Oh. 1002 00:53:44,208 --> 00:53:48,017 Now, this modern architecture along the waterfront, I can't. 1003 00:53:48,041 --> 00:53:49,017 I can't even. 1004 00:53:49,041 --> 00:53:51,017 I won't. 1005 00:53:51,041 --> 00:53:53,810 Now, this entire wall will be plasma screens displaying SME Twitter feeds, 1006 00:53:53,834 --> 00:53:56,643 Reddit discussions, et cetera. 1007 00:53:56,667 --> 00:53:58,309 It'll need a total gut-renovation. 1008 00:53:58,333 --> 00:54:02,643 Bet you the food in here will give you a gut renovation. 1009 00:54:03,083 --> 00:54:04,976 Kyle, will you not? 1010 00:54:05,000 --> 00:54:07,101 Now, let's go to the craft hut, 1011 00:54:07,125 --> 00:54:09,851 A.K.A. the new "Gaming Nucleus brought to you by Jared." 1012 00:54:09,875 --> 00:54:12,535 Ooh. 1013 00:54:14,834 --> 00:54:16,893 Okay. 1014 00:54:16,917 --> 00:54:19,827 Now, before anybody freaks out -- 1015 00:54:22,250 --> 00:54:25,059 All the dirt must go, and kill all the squirrels. 1016 00:54:25,083 --> 00:54:27,726 And over there will be a 4G tower, right there. 1017 00:54:27,750 --> 00:54:28,393 Oh, wow. 1018 00:54:28,417 --> 00:54:29,935 How would that look? Right? 1019 00:54:29,959 --> 00:54:31,726 Yes, it will be perfect. Yes. 1020 00:54:31,750 --> 00:54:32,434 Maxi-pad! 1021 00:54:32,458 --> 00:54:33,393 Actually, it's Maxine now. 1022 00:54:33,417 --> 00:54:35,518 People haven't called me Maxi-pad in weeks, so. 1023 00:54:35,542 --> 00:54:37,393 So nice to see you. 1024 00:54:37,417 --> 00:54:41,017 Well, I wish I could say the same, Jared. What the hell are you doing here? 1025 00:54:41,041 --> 00:54:42,726 Didn't Mom tell you? 1026 00:54:42,750 --> 00:54:44,810 After this year, your kumbaya crap is over. 1027 00:54:44,834 --> 00:54:46,059 What do you mean "over"? 1028 00:54:46,083 --> 00:54:49,017 Over like that hairdo, honey. 1029 00:54:49,041 --> 00:54:51,393 It's a side-pony, and it's a classic, thank you. 1030 00:54:51,417 --> 00:54:56,267 This hole will be turned into a place to cultivate our future social media gurus. 1031 00:54:56,291 --> 00:54:59,601 Camp Takota's going to be a specialized digital and interactive camp. 1032 00:54:59,625 --> 00:55:01,267 What? 1033 00:55:01,291 --> 00:55:04,041 So you're going to specialize in DIC? 1034 00:55:05,125 --> 00:55:06,935 Mm-hmm. 1035 00:55:06,959 --> 00:55:08,601 And it's going to be super-hard. 1036 00:55:08,625 --> 00:55:10,434 So I doubt you can handle it. 1037 00:55:10,458 --> 00:55:12,267 Ha! I would never handle your DIC. 1038 00:55:12,291 --> 00:55:14,101 I wouldn't go anywhere near your DIC. 1039 00:55:14,125 --> 00:55:16,810 Sounds like someone needs to get laid. Oh! 1040 00:55:16,834 --> 00:55:20,726 No, I do just fine in that department, thank you. 1041 00:55:21,083 --> 00:55:24,101 What are you doing? What are you doing? What is that? A picture? 1042 00:55:24,125 --> 00:55:26,476 Ice cold. You could hang meat in that thing. 1043 00:55:26,500 --> 00:55:28,893 Brr. Pork chops. 1044 00:55:30,083 --> 00:55:31,059 Maxi-pad. What?! 1045 00:55:31,083 --> 00:55:33,753 Just one more thing. 1046 00:55:36,125 --> 00:55:38,476 What is that? That's not even the middle finger. 1047 00:55:38,500 --> 00:55:41,267 You're not worth the middle finger. 1048 00:55:41,917 --> 00:55:45,077 Kyle, alley-oop to the Coop. 1049 00:55:46,000 --> 00:55:48,000 Here we are. 1050 00:55:49,000 --> 00:55:51,040 Kyle! 1051 00:56:06,125 --> 00:56:08,267 Let me guess: you talked to my son. 1052 00:56:08,291 --> 00:56:09,559 Is this for real? 1053 00:56:09,583 --> 00:56:11,351 I'm afraid it is. 1054 00:56:11,375 --> 00:56:15,810 Well, will you please explain it to me while I fight off a panic attack? 1055 00:56:15,834 --> 00:56:17,226 Oh, look, Max. 1056 00:56:17,250 --> 00:56:21,893 As much as we don't like to think of it as such, Takota is a business. 1057 00:56:21,917 --> 00:56:25,559 And unfortunately, that business hasn't been doing well for a long time now. 1058 00:56:25,583 --> 00:56:27,017 How "not well"? 1059 00:56:27,041 --> 00:56:29,851 Every year, less and less campers come back to camp. 1060 00:56:29,875 --> 00:56:33,476 Once these girls get a cell phone, they would rather sit in their rooms 1061 00:56:33,500 --> 00:56:37,017 in the dark all summer and Twitter at each other than come back to camp. 1062 00:56:37,041 --> 00:56:38,142 Okay. Well, fine. 1063 00:56:38,166 --> 00:56:40,518 We'll do a big sign-up tour during the school year 1064 00:56:40,542 --> 00:56:42,601 and we'll get some fresh blood in here. 1065 00:56:42,625 --> 00:56:44,351 I wish it were that simple, Max. 1066 00:56:44,375 --> 00:56:47,851 Look. We operate in the off-season off the money we acquire 1067 00:56:47,875 --> 00:56:51,184 at the end of the summer from preregistration for the next year, 1068 00:56:51,208 --> 00:56:55,935 and Lord knows those numbers have dropped completely off the charts. 1069 00:56:55,959 --> 00:56:59,017 I've already taken out a second mortgage on the land, 1070 00:56:59,041 --> 00:57:01,601 and we're behind on that. 1071 00:57:01,625 --> 00:57:03,059 How behind are we? 1072 00:57:03,083 --> 00:57:07,726 I'm pretty sure the only person we don't owe money to right now is you. 1073 00:57:07,750 --> 00:57:09,059 Yeah, but Sally, come on. 1074 00:57:09,083 --> 00:57:12,184 Jared is walking around this place like he's going to turn it 1075 00:57:12,208 --> 00:57:13,935 into the Starbucks of summer camp. 1076 00:57:13,959 --> 00:57:18,226 Sweetie, as much as I don't like his methods or his means or... 1077 00:57:18,250 --> 00:57:22,393 even his general personality, he's my son. 1078 00:57:22,417 --> 00:57:24,267 I've seen the numbers. It'll work. 1079 00:57:24,291 --> 00:57:27,142 At least it'll still be a camp and not condos. 1080 00:57:27,166 --> 00:57:29,935 It might as well be condos. 1081 00:57:29,959 --> 00:57:33,059 How many preregistrations would it take to keep us afloat until next summer? 1082 00:57:33,083 --> 00:57:35,059 Oh, Maxine, I know this is tough. 1083 00:57:35,083 --> 00:57:37,893 If my mother knew I was closing her camp doors -- 1084 00:57:37,917 --> 00:57:40,393 Sally, how many? 1085 00:57:40,417 --> 00:57:43,643 To cover the current mortgage, all of our creditors -- 1086 00:57:43,667 --> 00:57:46,997 Sally, just ballpark it. Please. 1087 00:57:47,125 --> 00:57:48,893 Half. 1088 00:57:48,917 --> 00:57:52,327 Half the camp would have to preregister. 1089 00:57:52,792 --> 00:57:55,002 Done. 1090 00:57:55,166 --> 00:57:56,810 Max, we never had those numbers. 1091 00:57:56,834 --> 00:57:58,643 Not even in the glory days. 1092 00:57:58,667 --> 00:58:01,747 Sally, is it a deal? 1093 00:58:04,750 --> 00:58:06,810 Back to work. 1094 00:58:06,834 --> 00:58:09,714 I love you, sweetie. 1095 00:58:50,333 --> 00:58:53,142 Hi, you've reached Kathy and -- say "Bruce," babe. 1096 00:58:53,166 --> 00:58:54,643 Bruce! 1097 00:58:54,667 --> 00:58:57,101 We're out of the country with extremely limited access 1098 00:58:57,125 --> 00:59:00,684 to phone or email, because we're in Paris. 1099 00:59:37,500 --> 00:59:40,017 Oh, it worked. 1100 00:59:42,208 --> 00:59:43,476 Ooh! 1101 00:59:43,500 --> 00:59:45,101 Be cool. 1102 00:59:45,125 --> 00:59:47,351 Be cool. 1103 01:00:07,250 --> 01:00:08,101 Hey. 1104 01:00:08,125 --> 01:00:09,559 Hi. 1105 01:00:09,583 --> 01:00:11,226 So that took a long time. 1106 01:00:11,250 --> 01:00:15,226 Yeah. I kind of underestimated the whole thing. 1107 01:00:17,041 --> 01:00:19,393 So, where's everybody at? 1108 01:00:19,417 --> 01:00:20,768 They're in their bunks. 1109 01:00:20,792 --> 01:00:22,017 It's 8:00, though. 1110 01:00:22,041 --> 01:00:24,434 Isn't it great? 1111 01:00:24,458 --> 01:00:26,768 I have a favor that I need to ask. 1112 01:00:26,792 --> 01:00:28,101 But can we go somewhere else? 1113 01:00:28,125 --> 01:00:31,267 Because the mosquitos have literally taken a pint of my blood. 1114 01:00:31,291 --> 01:00:33,434 Because that took a long time. 1115 01:00:33,458 --> 01:00:34,893 Okay, I'm sorry. 1116 01:00:34,917 --> 01:00:35,601 Uh-huh. 1117 01:00:35,625 --> 01:00:37,184 I thought it would be romantic. 1118 01:00:37,208 --> 01:00:37,810 Not really. 1119 01:00:37,834 --> 01:00:39,935 But I came over in a boat. 1120 01:00:39,959 --> 01:00:42,226 Yeah, but I've seen The Notebook. 1121 01:00:42,250 --> 01:00:45,393 So don't be surprised if you do see any campers down here. 1122 01:00:45,417 --> 01:00:48,893 This is where all the older girls like to come smoke cigarettes, 1123 01:00:48,917 --> 01:00:52,267 because they think it makes them so cool. 1124 01:00:52,291 --> 01:00:55,101 I see the poison ivy is clearing up. 1125 01:00:55,125 --> 01:00:56,434 Oh, no. 1126 01:00:56,458 --> 01:00:59,101 This is just how I walk. 1127 01:00:59,125 --> 01:01:01,101 It's pretty sexy, huh? 1128 01:01:01,125 --> 01:01:03,101 Yeah. 1129 01:01:04,000 --> 01:01:06,309 Would you mail these for me? 1130 01:01:06,333 --> 01:01:09,434 There's a camper who's not getting any mail, and she's a little homesick, 1131 01:01:09,458 --> 01:01:13,128 so I'm going to pretend that these are from her parents. 1132 01:01:14,208 --> 01:01:15,309 What? 1133 01:01:15,333 --> 01:01:18,393 She's like our little camp underdog. 1134 01:01:18,417 --> 01:01:19,518 No, it's... 1135 01:01:19,542 --> 01:01:21,810 it's just really sweet. 1136 01:01:21,834 --> 01:01:25,964 Well, surprise: I'm not all broken bottles and hangovers. 1137 01:01:30,166 --> 01:01:33,536 This might be a weird note to get from your parent. 1138 01:01:36,458 --> 01:01:37,643 Yeah. Sorry. 1139 01:01:37,667 --> 01:01:40,935 So have you ever thought about investing in like a speedboat? 1140 01:01:40,959 --> 01:01:42,476 Okay. You can let it go. 1141 01:01:42,500 --> 01:01:45,017 I know it took a while. 1142 01:01:45,125 --> 01:01:47,455 So did you call him? 1143 01:01:49,291 --> 01:01:49,976 No, no. 1144 01:01:50,000 --> 01:01:52,434 That ship has sailed. 1145 01:01:52,458 --> 01:01:55,309 I could probably call him and tell him that, 1146 01:01:55,333 --> 01:01:58,851 but I think it's more fun to torture him. 1147 01:01:58,875 --> 01:02:01,393 Well, remind me not to cross you. 1148 01:02:01,417 --> 01:02:03,226 No, I'm a great girlfriend. 1149 01:02:03,250 --> 01:02:04,351 Really? 1150 01:02:04,375 --> 01:02:05,601 Oh, yeah. The best. 1151 01:02:05,625 --> 01:02:10,035 I will change like a chameleon just to make my boyfriend happy. 1152 01:02:11,166 --> 01:02:13,017 Yeah. 1153 01:02:13,041 --> 01:02:15,501 I'm pretty great. 1154 01:02:16,917 --> 01:02:19,142 Well, you can definitely knock that off. 1155 01:02:19,166 --> 01:02:23,226 Because I think you're pretty awesome as-is. 1156 01:02:23,250 --> 01:02:24,351 Really? 1157 01:02:24,375 --> 01:02:25,851 Yeah, really. 1158 01:02:25,875 --> 01:02:28,035 And you're pretty hilarious. 1159 01:02:29,041 --> 01:02:31,421 And you're pretty. 1160 01:02:33,917 --> 01:02:38,643 Well, you're not that too bad either. 1161 01:02:38,667 --> 01:02:40,267 What? 1162 01:02:40,291 --> 01:02:42,059 Okay, that wasn't even a sentence. 1163 01:02:42,083 --> 01:02:43,476 I tried a sentence. 1164 01:02:43,500 --> 01:02:44,726 Slow down on the compliments. 1165 01:02:44,750 --> 01:02:46,559 I made an attempt at a sentence. 1166 01:02:46,583 --> 01:02:48,101 Hey, Elise? Sorry, guys. 1167 01:02:48,125 --> 01:02:50,059 Max needs us in the mess hall. 1168 01:02:50,083 --> 01:02:51,851 Okay. 1169 01:02:51,875 --> 01:02:54,226 Thank you for ruining a moment. 1170 01:02:54,250 --> 01:02:56,601 We were having a moment? 1171 01:02:56,625 --> 01:02:58,434 That was a moment. 1172 01:02:58,458 --> 01:02:59,518 Stop. 1173 01:02:59,542 --> 01:03:00,684 That was a moment! 1174 01:03:00,708 --> 01:03:01,726 Don't forget the letters. 1175 01:03:01,750 --> 01:03:04,267 Don't forget your manners. 1176 01:03:04,291 --> 01:03:05,184 Thank you. 1177 01:03:05,208 --> 01:03:06,559 You're welcome. 1178 01:03:06,583 --> 01:03:09,083 Goodnight. 1179 01:03:11,542 --> 01:03:14,082 That was definitely a moment. 1180 01:03:15,583 --> 01:03:17,601 So that's the situation. 1181 01:03:17,625 --> 01:03:21,434 We need to secure a 50 percent return rate by the end of camp, 1182 01:03:21,458 --> 01:03:24,017 or the Takota we know and love will cease to exist. 1183 01:03:24,041 --> 01:03:25,267 Yes. 1184 01:03:25,291 --> 01:03:27,101 How much is 50 percent? 1185 01:03:27,125 --> 01:03:28,768 112. 1186 01:03:28,792 --> 01:03:31,267 And how many did we have last year? 1187 01:03:31,291 --> 01:03:33,501 27. 1188 01:03:36,333 --> 01:03:39,726 Guys, I know that doesn't sound good, but I'm not going to let Jared 1189 01:03:39,750 --> 01:03:41,476 come in here and destroy this place. 1190 01:03:41,500 --> 01:03:42,434 And then what? 1191 01:03:42,458 --> 01:03:46,267 Next summer, instead of campfires and archery, 1192 01:03:46,291 --> 01:03:48,601 our campers are at home experimenting with drugs 1193 01:03:48,625 --> 01:03:49,768 and back-alley abortions. 1194 01:03:49,792 --> 01:03:52,142 Okay. These girls are from the suburbs. 1195 01:03:52,166 --> 01:03:53,601 Exactly. 1196 01:03:53,625 --> 01:03:55,393 I'm not going to let that happen. 1197 01:03:55,417 --> 01:03:58,184 I want every camper back here next summer. 1198 01:03:58,208 --> 01:04:01,476 Well, I don't mean to be a downer, 1199 01:04:01,500 --> 01:04:03,309 but this camp is in rough shape. 1200 01:04:03,333 --> 01:04:05,643 Most of the cabins are just a stack of splinters. 1201 01:04:05,667 --> 01:04:07,309 Chet? 1202 01:04:07,333 --> 01:04:12,043 Please shut your beautiful, beautiful face. 1203 01:04:13,500 --> 01:04:15,309 Look. 1204 01:04:15,333 --> 01:04:17,643 I know that Takota isn't the prettiest girl at the dance. 1205 01:04:17,667 --> 01:04:20,976 But she's our girl, 1206 01:04:21,000 --> 01:04:23,810 and I don't want Jared getting his creepy hands on her. 1207 01:04:23,834 --> 01:04:25,643 So what can we do? 1208 01:04:25,667 --> 01:04:28,684 Okay. Visitors Day is in two weeks, and that is our best shot 1209 01:04:28,708 --> 01:04:30,976 at getting parents to fork over the cash. 1210 01:04:31,000 --> 01:04:35,851 I know we don't have a lot of time, and I spent way too much time on those graphs. 1211 01:04:35,875 --> 01:04:39,518 But I really think we can get this place looking and feeling like a million bucks. 1212 01:04:39,542 --> 01:04:41,502 So who's in? 1213 01:04:44,375 --> 01:04:46,684 That was supposed to be more of a rousing speech. 1214 01:04:46,708 --> 01:04:48,226 Let's do it! 1215 01:04:48,250 --> 01:04:51,810 Thank you! High-five! 1216 01:04:51,834 --> 01:04:53,810 Chet, your hands are too large. 1217 01:04:53,834 --> 01:04:55,351 And too slow. 1218 01:04:55,375 --> 01:04:57,393 Well, I didn't want to do it anyway. 1219 01:04:57,417 --> 01:04:58,643 Okay. That's a lie. 1220 01:04:58,667 --> 01:05:00,684 Teamwork. Oh, wow. 1221 01:05:02,542 --> 01:05:03,810 Yeah! 1222 01:05:03,834 --> 01:05:06,393 Good job. 1223 01:05:33,792 --> 01:05:34,810 Wow. 1224 01:05:34,834 --> 01:05:36,184 These are new recipes. 1225 01:05:36,208 --> 01:05:38,393 Squash, chicken, and the new tots. 1226 01:05:38,417 --> 01:05:40,476 Ooh. 1227 01:05:43,375 --> 01:05:45,684 It's so good! 1228 01:06:32,291 --> 01:06:35,810 And then when we're done, we're going to have some really cool friendship bracelets 1229 01:06:35,834 --> 01:06:39,101 that we can give to our moms tomorrow at Visitors Day! 1230 01:06:39,125 --> 01:06:42,559 Elise, there's a phone call in the office for you. 1231 01:06:42,583 --> 01:06:46,142 Can you just take a message? There's only a couple minutes left of this class. 1232 01:06:46,166 --> 01:06:47,684 Already tried. She's not having it. 1233 01:06:47,708 --> 01:06:49,828 Her name is Celia something. 1234 01:06:51,750 --> 01:06:55,810 I'm on my way. 1235 01:06:55,834 --> 01:06:58,684 Melinda, can I put you in charge for the last couple minutes? 1236 01:06:58,708 --> 01:07:00,788 Sure. 1237 01:07:07,750 --> 01:07:08,935 Hello? 1238 01:07:08,959 --> 01:07:10,768 Elise, how are you? 1239 01:07:10,792 --> 01:07:12,226 It's Celia. 1240 01:07:12,250 --> 01:07:13,309 Good. 1241 01:07:13,333 --> 01:07:14,851 Let me get right to the point. 1242 01:07:14,875 --> 01:07:18,601 You're obviously aware of the media frenzy your little "oops" unleashed. 1243 01:07:18,625 --> 01:07:20,267 Actually, no. 1244 01:07:20,291 --> 01:07:23,142 I've kind of unplugged this summer. 1245 01:07:23,166 --> 01:07:25,059 Well, allow me to catch you up. 1246 01:07:25,083 --> 01:07:28,017 Since that photo leaked, sales for the Midnight Moonlight series 1247 01:07:28,041 --> 01:07:29,935 have more than quadrupled. 1248 01:07:29,959 --> 01:07:30,976 Wait, what? 1249 01:07:31,000 --> 01:07:33,559 Two words: cougar appeal. 1250 01:07:33,583 --> 01:07:36,684 It's not just preteen girls buying the books; now housewives across the nation 1251 01:07:36,708 --> 01:07:39,828 are lusting after Walker, too. 1252 01:07:39,875 --> 01:07:42,017 Well, congratulations. 1253 01:07:42,041 --> 01:07:45,559 Still don't know what this has to do with me. 1254 01:07:45,583 --> 01:07:47,476 Walker is writing a memoir. 1255 01:07:47,500 --> 01:07:48,768 Isn't he like 16? 1256 01:07:48,792 --> 01:07:50,684 No, he's completely legal. 1257 01:07:50,708 --> 01:07:52,748 Ooh. 1258 01:07:53,667 --> 01:07:58,518 I'm calling because I would like you to come back and take point on this. 1259 01:07:58,542 --> 01:08:02,351 In fact, Walker insists. 1260 01:08:02,375 --> 01:08:07,309 So hop on the earliest flight back tonight so I can have you here tomorrow morning. 1261 01:08:07,333 --> 01:08:08,393 Tomorrow? 1262 01:08:08,417 --> 01:08:11,476 I'm kind of in the middle of something right now. 1263 01:08:11,500 --> 01:08:16,726 Oh, and Elise, I read "Un-Loch My Heart." 1264 01:08:16,750 --> 01:08:20,101 Looks like we could have a serious franchise on our hands. 1265 01:08:20,125 --> 01:08:23,017 I'll see you at 9:00 a.m. sharp. 1266 01:08:44,625 --> 01:08:46,101 Hey. 1267 01:08:46,125 --> 01:08:48,893 Do you have any paint pens in here? 1268 01:08:48,917 --> 01:08:50,309 Yeah. They're on the shelf. 1269 01:08:50,333 --> 01:08:52,883 Thank God. 1270 01:08:54,333 --> 01:08:55,935 You okay? 1271 01:08:55,959 --> 01:08:58,101 Yeah, I'm just tired. 1272 01:08:58,125 --> 01:09:01,434 Elise, can you do a quick spot check of the mess hall tonight? 1273 01:09:01,458 --> 01:09:02,476 Yeah. 1274 01:09:02,500 --> 01:09:05,351 And then if you could go to the older campers' bunk 1275 01:09:05,375 --> 01:09:09,434 and just make sure it's ot a mess, that'd be awesome. And if there are any 1276 01:09:09,458 --> 01:09:11,810 Max, can you just stop? Just for a second. 1277 01:09:11,834 --> 01:09:14,059 What's the matter? 1278 01:09:14,083 --> 01:09:17,434 I don't think I'm going to be able to do all of that. 1279 01:09:17,458 --> 01:09:18,518 I know, I know. 1280 01:09:18,542 --> 01:09:20,601 I'm asking you guys to do so much. 1281 01:09:20,625 --> 01:09:22,935 There's just like so much left to do. 1282 01:09:22,959 --> 01:09:25,267 And meanwhile, the 13-year-olds now, they're sticking tater tots 1283 01:09:25,291 --> 01:09:27,893 down each other's butt cracks and calling it "tater slots." 1284 01:09:27,917 --> 01:09:29,935 Like is that what people do for fun now? 1285 01:09:29,959 --> 01:09:32,101 No, Max. 1286 01:09:32,125 --> 01:09:35,434 I don't think I'm going to be able to do all of that stuff 1287 01:09:35,458 --> 01:09:37,726 because I won't be here. 1288 01:09:37,750 --> 01:09:40,059 I'm going to leave camp tonight. 1289 01:09:40,083 --> 01:09:42,976 Okay, seriously, Elise, You're lying is getting 1290 01:09:43,000 --> 01:09:45,017 like Allison-level good. 1291 01:09:45,041 --> 01:09:48,601 I'm serious. 1292 01:09:48,625 --> 01:09:50,851 Okay, guys. Let's all pack it up. 1293 01:09:50,875 --> 01:09:54,495 We'll take it down to the mess hall and we'll hang it. 1294 01:10:03,792 --> 01:10:05,935 What the hell are you talking about? 1295 01:10:05,959 --> 01:10:11,101 My old boss, Celia, she offered me my job back. 1296 01:10:11,125 --> 01:10:13,726 So I have to be in Chicago tomorrow. 1297 01:10:13,750 --> 01:10:16,851 Look, she read my book and she liked it and she -- 1298 01:10:16,875 --> 01:10:18,851 Oh, the book that you don't even like? 1299 01:10:18,875 --> 01:10:19,851 That one? 1300 01:10:19,875 --> 01:10:24,017 Okay, Max, I don't expect you to understand. 1301 01:10:24,041 --> 01:10:29,476 But I have been waiting for -- working for this for literally years. 1302 01:10:29,500 --> 01:10:32,684 No, Elise, I understand. 1303 01:10:32,708 --> 01:10:36,017 I understand that all that "I just want to be me" talk 1304 01:10:36,041 --> 01:10:36,851 was bullshit. 1305 01:10:36,875 --> 01:10:37,893 Max. 1306 01:10:37,917 --> 01:10:39,351 No, seriously. 1307 01:10:39,375 --> 01:10:41,851 Have fun pretending to be perfect. 1308 01:10:41,875 --> 01:10:45,184 Maybe when you're back in Chicago, you can babysit for Jeff and Vanessa. 1309 01:10:45,208 --> 01:10:47,309 Whoa. That's a little harsh. 1310 01:10:47,333 --> 01:10:50,684 No, I don't really care, Allison, because I've never seen someone act so selfish 1311 01:10:50,708 --> 01:10:53,038 in my entire life. 1312 01:10:53,125 --> 01:10:55,184 Wait, I'm selfish? 1313 01:10:55,208 --> 01:10:57,017 Yeah, you are. 1314 01:10:57,041 --> 01:10:58,059 I'm being selfish. 1315 01:10:58,083 --> 01:10:59,601 Thank you for admitting that, Elise. 1316 01:10:59,625 --> 01:11:01,059 Hey, guys, let's take a deep breath. 1317 01:11:01,083 --> 01:11:06,393 This entire thing that we're doing is so that you can get your promotion. 1318 01:11:06,417 --> 01:11:08,684 So don't you dare call me selfish. 1319 01:11:08,708 --> 01:11:10,684 Wow! 1320 01:11:10,708 --> 01:11:13,518 Wow, that is really low, Elise. 1321 01:11:13,542 --> 01:11:14,893 Because you know what? 1322 01:11:14,917 --> 01:11:18,434 If I remember correctly, two months ago when you didn't have anything, 1323 01:11:18,458 --> 01:11:20,726 where did you go? Hmm? 1324 01:11:20,750 --> 01:11:23,059 Oh, right: you came here. 1325 01:11:23,083 --> 01:11:26,559 And now I'm selfish because I'm working my ass off to make sure 1326 01:11:26,583 --> 01:11:28,768 that this place still exists? 1327 01:11:28,792 --> 01:11:33,351 So that when you screw up in a couple years, you actually have a place to turn to. 1328 01:11:33,375 --> 01:11:35,184 Thank you for the vote of confidence. 1329 01:11:35,208 --> 01:11:37,142 And this isn't just for me, Elise. 1330 01:11:37,166 --> 01:11:40,309 This is for Sally and for the kids and for Allison. 1331 01:11:40,333 --> 01:11:44,142 Oh, the best thing that could happen to Allison is if this place gets shut down. 1332 01:11:44,166 --> 01:11:47,434 What are you talking about? 1333 01:11:47,458 --> 01:11:48,935 What is she talking about, Allison? 1334 01:11:48,959 --> 01:11:50,684 I don't know. 1335 01:11:50,708 --> 01:11:55,976 She's talking about the fact that she got accepted to a culinary school in Chicago. 1336 01:11:56,000 --> 01:11:57,768 And she's never going to go. 1337 01:11:57,792 --> 01:11:59,101 Because she's scared of you. 1338 01:11:59,125 --> 01:12:00,893 She always has been. 1339 01:12:00,917 --> 01:12:03,787 Because Maxine, you're a control freak! 1340 01:12:04,542 --> 01:12:07,042 Is that true? 1341 01:12:07,834 --> 01:12:09,935 Alright, you can get your shit from the office. 1342 01:12:09,959 --> 01:12:11,559 I'm done. 1343 01:12:11,583 --> 01:12:13,101 Max? 1344 01:12:22,291 --> 01:12:24,142 Elise, what the hell? 1345 01:12:24,166 --> 01:12:25,267 I read the letters. 1346 01:12:25,291 --> 01:12:27,059 So what? 1347 01:12:27,083 --> 01:12:30,142 That gives you the right to start making decisions on my behalf? 1348 01:12:30,166 --> 01:12:33,142 Where have you been for the last eight years? 1349 01:12:33,166 --> 01:12:36,309 Allison, don't do this. Stop. 1350 01:12:36,333 --> 01:12:39,753 You're the last person I need life advice from. 1351 01:13:05,208 --> 01:13:06,810 Eli! 1352 01:13:06,834 --> 01:13:08,810 Eli! 1353 01:13:19,708 --> 01:13:21,184 Hey, narc. 1354 01:13:21,208 --> 01:13:24,351 Hey, can I borrow your phone? I need to call a cab. 1355 01:13:24,375 --> 01:13:27,851 It might take a while. Nearest cab's like a hundred miles away. 1356 01:13:27,875 --> 01:13:31,017 Okay, well then, will you drive me to the closest train station 1357 01:13:31,041 --> 01:13:32,810 or bus station or anything that will take me away from here? 1358 01:13:32,834 --> 01:13:36,101 What's going on? Are you alright? 1359 01:13:36,125 --> 01:13:40,810 Yeah, I got my old job back. I'm going back to Chicago. 1360 01:13:40,834 --> 01:13:43,059 Okay. 1361 01:13:43,083 --> 01:13:44,267 You're joking. 1362 01:13:44,291 --> 01:13:47,059 Right? 1363 01:13:52,875 --> 01:13:55,165 You're not. 1364 01:13:56,041 --> 01:13:59,559 Okay, well, what about saving Takota? 1365 01:13:59,583 --> 01:14:01,351 You're just going to bail on Max? 1366 01:14:01,375 --> 01:14:07,559 Look, Eli, this has been really fun, but let's not kid ourselves. 1367 01:14:07,583 --> 01:14:11,935 Sooner or later, I was going to have to go back to the real world. 1368 01:14:11,959 --> 01:14:13,999 Right. 1369 01:14:14,250 --> 01:14:19,518 It's weird, because this is the real world to me. 1370 01:14:19,542 --> 01:14:21,922 And everything about this... 1371 01:14:23,417 --> 01:14:26,142 was real to me, too. 1372 01:14:28,834 --> 01:14:31,309 Get another ride, Elise. 1373 01:14:41,750 --> 01:14:42,893 Chet? 1374 01:14:42,917 --> 01:14:44,810 I need a ride! 1375 01:14:44,834 --> 01:14:47,643 Okay. 1376 01:15:03,250 --> 01:15:05,476 Is it true? 1377 01:15:05,500 --> 01:15:06,976 That you don't want to be here? 1378 01:15:07,000 --> 01:15:09,460 No. No. 1379 01:15:10,125 --> 01:15:13,309 I mean, I don't know. 1380 01:15:13,333 --> 01:15:14,976 This is my home. 1381 01:15:15,000 --> 01:15:16,476 Everything I know is here. 1382 01:15:16,500 --> 01:15:20,434 But yeah, sometimes I do wonder. 1383 01:15:20,458 --> 01:15:23,768 Then Allison, why wouldn't you just, you know, say something to me about it? 1384 01:15:23,792 --> 01:15:24,976 Oh, come on, Maxine. 1385 01:15:25,000 --> 01:15:26,267 I know exactly what you'd say. 1386 01:15:26,291 --> 01:15:30,101 You'd say that I would hate the city, because God knows you do. 1387 01:15:30,125 --> 01:15:32,434 Every summer you just bolt right out of there. 1388 01:15:32,458 --> 01:15:33,768 That is so not true. 1389 01:15:33,792 --> 01:15:35,476 Yes, it is. 1390 01:15:35,500 --> 01:15:37,810 Okay, let me explain something to you. 1391 01:15:37,834 --> 01:15:40,309 I'm not running away from somewhere. 1392 01:15:40,333 --> 01:15:43,309 I'm running to somewhere. To camp. 1393 01:15:43,333 --> 01:15:47,851 Because this is what I love, and this is what makes me happy. 1394 01:15:47,875 --> 01:15:52,518 So if culinary school is going to make you feel the same way that this place makes me feel, 1395 01:15:52,542 --> 01:15:56,332 then Allison, get the hell out of here. 1396 01:15:58,250 --> 01:16:01,226 Okay, but what if I hate it there? 1397 01:16:01,250 --> 01:16:02,351 What if I suck? 1398 01:16:02,375 --> 01:16:04,351 Please. 1399 01:16:04,375 --> 01:16:06,851 You are like the Good Will Hunting of culinary arts. 1400 01:16:06,875 --> 01:16:08,851 Please. Make my cookies. 1401 01:16:08,875 --> 01:16:10,434 Okay. 1402 01:16:10,458 --> 01:16:14,918 I'm going to eat all of them, and you're not going to eat shit. 1403 01:16:34,458 --> 01:16:37,684 I don't know what the circumstances are that brought you back to us, 1404 01:16:37,708 --> 01:16:41,935 but I'm sure glad you're here. 1405 01:17:29,166 --> 01:17:32,101 "Dear Elise, thank you for being my friend. 1406 01:17:32,125 --> 01:17:34,810 I had so much fun this summer. 1407 01:17:34,834 --> 01:17:37,226 I don't want to go home yet. 1408 01:17:37,250 --> 01:17:38,309 Love, Penny." 1409 01:17:38,333 --> 01:17:42,059 Now boarding bus 57 to Chicago. 1410 01:18:31,291 --> 01:18:33,476 Hey. 1411 01:18:33,500 --> 01:18:35,684 Way to go, girl. 1412 01:18:35,708 --> 01:18:36,976 It's pretty great, isn't it? 1413 01:18:37,000 --> 01:18:38,351 It sure is. Look... 1414 01:18:38,375 --> 01:18:44,075 whatever happens today, you are going to be an amazing camp director. 1415 01:18:44,417 --> 01:18:46,393 I was just hoping it would be here. 1416 01:18:46,417 --> 01:18:48,184 Thank you, Sally. 1417 01:18:48,208 --> 01:18:50,559 I'm still holding out hope. 1418 01:18:51,583 --> 01:18:52,643 Oh, I need some Kleenex. 1419 01:18:52,667 --> 01:18:55,207 Go. Get out of here. 1420 01:18:56,375 --> 01:18:57,810 Jared. 1421 01:18:57,834 --> 01:18:59,518 Didn't know that you'd be joining us today. 1422 01:18:59,542 --> 01:19:02,476 Oh, hell to the yes. 1423 01:19:03,166 --> 01:19:04,017 Kyle. 1424 01:19:04,041 --> 01:19:05,142 Sorry. Sorry. 1425 01:19:05,166 --> 01:19:07,684 I want to see this Maxi-pad replaced with a tampon. 1426 01:19:07,708 --> 01:19:11,643 So I take it you're referring to yourself as a tampon now? 1427 01:19:11,667 --> 01:19:13,226 Hmm? 1428 01:19:13,250 --> 01:19:15,184 I'm slim. 1429 01:19:15,208 --> 01:19:16,726 And I'm out for blood. 1430 01:19:16,750 --> 01:19:18,309 Okay, that's gross. 1431 01:19:18,333 --> 01:19:22,017 Look, as much as I'd like to stand here and listen to your prepared insults, 1432 01:19:22,041 --> 01:19:23,559 I actually have a camp to run. 1433 01:19:23,583 --> 01:19:25,923 Oh, but wait. 1434 01:19:28,417 --> 01:19:30,627 I deserve the middle finger. 1435 01:19:31,250 --> 01:19:33,920 I'm worth the middle finger! 1436 01:19:43,500 --> 01:19:44,393 Okay. 1437 01:19:44,417 --> 01:19:45,601 It's hot. 1438 01:19:45,625 --> 01:19:48,351 And my pedicure is completely ruined. 1439 01:19:48,375 --> 01:19:49,976 Places. 1440 01:19:50,000 --> 01:19:50,559 Hey, everybody. 1441 01:19:50,583 --> 01:19:52,226 Welcome to Visitors Day! 1442 01:19:52,250 --> 01:19:54,768 We are super excited to have you all here. 1443 01:19:54,792 --> 01:19:58,434 In the spirit of old and new, we're going to be performing a song 1444 01:19:58,458 --> 01:20:01,976 that I wrote with my two best friends back when I was a camper here. 1445 01:20:02,000 --> 01:20:03,920 Hope you enjoy! 1446 01:20:25,000 --> 01:20:26,434 Five, six, seven, eight. 1447 01:20:26,458 --> 01:20:28,768 ♪♪ I hate it when the summer ends. ♪ 1448 01:20:28,792 --> 01:20:30,768 ♪ I've got to say goodbye to... ♪ 1449 01:20:30,792 --> 01:20:32,309 ♪ My best friends! ♪ 1450 01:20:32,333 --> 01:20:35,726 ♪ Camp Takota, I love you so. I don't know where the summers go. ♪ 1451 01:20:35,750 --> 01:20:37,601 ♪ I love Camp Takota. ♪ 1452 01:20:37,625 --> 01:20:42,309 ♪ T-A-K-O-T-A! ♪ 1453 01:20:42,333 --> 01:20:44,476 ♪ Going to miss Camp Takota, ♪ 1454 01:20:44,500 --> 01:20:48,976 ♪ but I'll be back next summer. Yay! ♪ 1455 01:20:49,000 --> 01:20:51,559 ♪ Wake up in the morning, in my bunk... ♪ 1456 01:20:51,583 --> 01:20:53,101 ♪ My hair looks -- ♪ 1457 01:20:53,125 --> 01:20:54,351 What are you doing here? 1458 01:20:54,375 --> 01:20:55,434 I am so sorry! 1459 01:20:55,458 --> 01:20:58,309 I honestly have no idea what I was thinking. 1460 01:20:58,333 --> 01:21:00,893 Elise, I am so sorry about all that stuff I said. 1461 01:21:00,917 --> 01:21:02,267 I'm so glad you're back. 1462 01:21:02,291 --> 01:21:03,810 ♪ ...into the mess! ♪ 1463 01:21:03,834 --> 01:21:07,142 ♪ Grab some grub, and I'm on my way, ♪ 1464 01:21:07,166 --> 01:21:09,226 ♪ to my activities for the day! ♪ 1465 01:21:09,250 --> 01:21:10,476 ♪ Arts and crafts, ♪ 1466 01:21:10,500 --> 01:21:11,601 ♪ and tie-dye, ♪ 1467 01:21:11,625 --> 01:21:12,518 ♪ archery, ♪ 1468 01:21:12,542 --> 01:21:13,601 ♪ and bull's-eye, ♪ 1469 01:21:13,625 --> 01:21:14,810 ♪ canoeing, ♪ 1470 01:21:14,834 --> 01:21:17,476 ♪ all of them and pillow fights around the clock. ♪ 1471 01:21:17,500 --> 01:21:19,142 ♪ In the mess ♪ 1472 01:21:19,166 --> 01:21:20,518 ♪ eating tater tots. ♪ 1473 01:21:20,542 --> 01:21:21,184 ♪ Basketball! ♪ 1474 01:21:21,208 --> 01:21:22,893 ♪ Taking all the shots, ♪ 1475 01:21:22,917 --> 01:21:25,518 ♪ and when the day comes to an end, ♪ 1476 01:21:25,542 --> 01:21:27,851 ♪ go to sleep and do it again. ♪ 1477 01:21:27,875 --> 01:21:29,518 ♪ I love Camp Takota. ♪ 1478 01:21:29,542 --> 01:21:31,976 ♪ Going to miss Camp Takota. ♪ 1479 01:21:32,000 --> 01:21:34,309 ♪ But I'll be back next summer. ♪ 1480 01:21:34,333 --> 01:21:37,184 ♪ Yay! ♪♪ 1481 01:21:38,083 --> 01:21:41,434 Bravo! Bravo! 1482 01:21:47,542 --> 01:21:49,559 That was fun. 1483 01:22:04,792 --> 01:22:06,893 Hard to believe it's closing campfire, huh? 1484 01:22:06,917 --> 01:22:08,267 Are summers getting shorter? 1485 01:22:08,291 --> 01:22:11,726 Why don't you lead this one? 1486 01:22:11,750 --> 01:22:14,080 Are you sure? 1487 01:22:14,583 --> 01:22:17,267 Thanks. 1488 01:22:20,083 --> 01:22:23,726 Every year, we close out the summer with one final campfire. 1489 01:22:23,750 --> 01:22:27,559 It's a chance to reflect on what an amazing summer it's been 1490 01:22:27,583 --> 01:22:30,851 and all the memories you'll hold onto until you're back here next summer 1491 01:22:30,875 --> 01:22:32,393 for opening campfire. 1492 01:22:32,417 --> 01:22:33,393 No! No, no, no. 1493 01:22:33,417 --> 01:22:34,351 No, no, no, no. 1494 01:22:34,375 --> 01:22:36,893 There will be no opening campfire next year. 1495 01:22:36,917 --> 01:22:39,059 A yule log DVD at best. 1496 01:22:39,083 --> 01:22:43,184 Because -- drumroll, Kyle -- 1497 01:22:44,250 --> 01:22:46,643 I'm taking over camp. 1498 01:22:46,667 --> 01:22:50,059 Yep, I'm finally giving this place a long-overdue makeover. 1499 01:22:50,083 --> 01:22:56,559 I'm bringing this hole into the 21st century. 1500 01:22:56,583 --> 01:22:57,351 Thank you. 1501 01:22:57,375 --> 01:22:59,455 You're welcome. 1502 01:23:01,458 --> 01:23:02,267 Okay. 1503 01:23:02,291 --> 01:23:04,631 Yep. No. 1504 01:23:06,834 --> 01:23:08,434 It's true. 1505 01:23:08,458 --> 01:23:11,726 Jared might be taking over next summer. 1506 01:23:11,750 --> 01:23:15,309 And you'll be updating your statuses from the mess hall 1507 01:23:15,333 --> 01:23:18,893 and live tweeting the campfires. 1508 01:23:18,917 --> 01:23:22,309 And all your friends back home will know how awesome this place is. 1509 01:23:22,333 --> 01:23:24,503 But who wants that? 1510 01:23:26,500 --> 01:23:32,250 Since I was eight years old, this place has been like an old friend to me. 1511 01:23:32,834 --> 01:23:39,464 We have all our inside jokes and the songs that only we know. 1512 01:23:40,667 --> 01:23:43,810 And you go back home and you try to tell people about camp, 1513 01:23:43,834 --> 01:23:47,464 and you end up just saying, "You had to be there." 1514 01:23:53,000 --> 01:23:56,476 Well, I really hope... 1515 01:23:56,500 --> 01:24:00,330 that there's still going to be a place you have to be. 1516 01:24:01,834 --> 01:24:05,634 Because I'm not ready to say goodbye to this friend yet. 1517 01:24:12,542 --> 01:24:14,351 Okay. 1518 01:24:14,375 --> 01:24:16,535 Sorry. 1519 01:24:17,208 --> 01:24:21,643 Tonight we are so honored to have with us a very special guest 1520 01:24:21,667 --> 01:24:26,559 at Takota to read our Takota campfire ghost story. 1521 01:24:26,583 --> 01:24:29,851 He is the New York Times bestselling author 1522 01:24:29,875 --> 01:24:32,309 of such thrillers as -- 1523 01:24:32,333 --> 01:24:33,851 Hey. 1524 01:24:33,875 --> 01:24:36,726 Elise. 1525 01:24:36,750 --> 01:24:38,518 Eli, I just... 1526 01:24:38,542 --> 01:24:42,684 I really wanted to say that I am so sorry. 1527 01:24:42,708 --> 01:24:47,059 I was just really mean to you yesterday. 1528 01:24:47,083 --> 01:24:50,559 I mean, like I was straight up a bitch. 1529 01:24:50,583 --> 01:24:51,893 Okay, well, I wouldn't say that. 1530 01:24:51,917 --> 01:24:54,377 No, I was. 1531 01:24:55,417 --> 01:24:57,267 Maybe a little. 1532 01:24:57,291 --> 01:25:00,059 Look, I thought about what you said. 1533 01:25:00,083 --> 01:25:04,393 And you were right: this has been fun. 1534 01:25:07,083 --> 01:25:09,893 But Elise, I want it to keep being fun. 1535 01:25:09,917 --> 01:25:12,601 Eli Morton. 1536 01:25:12,625 --> 01:25:13,309 Eli... 1537 01:25:13,333 --> 01:25:16,059 That smell. What is that? 1538 01:25:16,083 --> 01:25:17,893 I slept in a bus station last night. 1539 01:25:17,917 --> 01:25:19,351 Gross. 1540 01:25:19,375 --> 01:25:22,393 He's going to be great at this if he ever -- 1541 01:25:22,417 --> 01:25:23,935 Eli, Max just intro'd you. 1542 01:25:23,959 --> 01:25:25,601 Hi. Welcome. 1543 01:25:25,625 --> 01:25:26,893 Give him a round of applause, everybody. 1544 01:25:26,917 --> 01:25:28,518 Excuse me. Thank you. 1545 01:25:28,542 --> 01:25:30,518 Break a leg. 1546 01:25:32,959 --> 01:25:34,059 He's a writer? 1547 01:25:34,083 --> 01:25:35,768 Yeah. 1548 01:25:35,792 --> 01:25:38,893 And a local farmer. 1549 01:25:38,917 --> 01:25:41,537 Look: technically, I didn't lie to you. 1550 01:25:48,250 --> 01:25:51,059 So to this day, Takota campers 1551 01:25:51,083 --> 01:25:52,768 can still see the ghost. 1552 01:25:52,792 --> 01:25:55,559 You see, he's attracted to the fire. 1553 01:25:55,583 --> 01:25:56,935 He's drawn to the smoke. 1554 01:25:56,959 --> 01:26:00,601 Much like the campfire we have going on right now. 1555 01:26:06,000 --> 01:26:09,768 So when you Takota girls build your campfires for s'mores 1556 01:26:09,792 --> 01:26:12,768 and stories 1557 01:26:14,166 --> 01:26:17,267 just remember: you might have an extra visitor at your campout that night. 1558 01:26:17,291 --> 01:26:20,976 What was that? Somebody call 9-1-1. 1559 01:26:21,000 --> 01:26:23,476 I'm not getting any service. 1560 01:26:25,667 --> 01:26:27,935 Get me out of here! 1561 01:26:30,500 --> 01:26:31,434 Elise! 1562 01:26:31,458 --> 01:26:33,668 Oh, no. 1563 01:26:35,166 --> 01:26:37,976 This place sucks. 1564 01:26:38,000 --> 01:26:39,976 Jeff, what are you doing here? 1565 01:26:40,000 --> 01:26:42,476 Elise, you did not return any of my calls. 1566 01:26:42,500 --> 01:26:44,893 I've nothing to say to you. 1567 01:26:44,917 --> 01:26:46,476 I'm sorry, okay? 1568 01:26:46,500 --> 01:26:48,393 I messed up. I know that, alright? 1569 01:26:48,417 --> 01:26:50,309 I am so sorry. 1570 01:26:50,333 --> 01:26:53,309 But you cannot -- you have to give me a chance. 1571 01:26:53,333 --> 01:26:56,017 Oh, I don't have to do anything. 1572 01:26:56,041 --> 01:26:59,017 El, everything alright? 1573 01:26:59,041 --> 01:27:00,476 Who the hell's this guy? 1574 01:27:00,500 --> 01:27:01,684 This is my boy- 1575 01:27:01,708 --> 01:27:04,810 Aww... 1576 01:27:04,834 --> 01:27:06,393 Eli. 1577 01:27:06,417 --> 01:27:09,747 This is my Eli. 1578 01:27:13,875 --> 01:27:15,017 This guy? 1579 01:27:15,041 --> 01:27:17,461 This -- 1580 01:27:18,834 --> 01:27:19,976 Seriously. 1581 01:27:20,000 --> 01:27:21,726 Oh....! 1582 01:27:21,750 --> 01:27:24,017 Stop! Stop! 1583 01:27:24,041 --> 01:27:25,768 Jeff, you are ruining Visitors Day! 1584 01:27:25,792 --> 01:27:27,017 Stop! 1585 01:27:27,041 --> 01:27:28,643 That's going to leave a mark. 1586 01:27:28,667 --> 01:27:31,684 Jeff, we are done! 1587 01:27:31,708 --> 01:27:33,851 It's over! 1588 01:27:33,875 --> 01:27:37,059 Stop embarrassing yourself; go home! 1589 01:27:41,792 --> 01:27:43,893 What are you looking at? 1590 01:27:43,917 --> 01:27:46,059 Huh? 1591 01:27:47,792 --> 01:27:49,935 And you... 1592 01:27:54,041 --> 01:27:58,059 that was incredibly hot, and I am very turned on right now. 1593 01:27:58,083 --> 01:28:01,518 Aww...! 1594 01:28:01,542 --> 01:28:02,726 It's so romantic! 1595 01:28:02,750 --> 01:28:05,768 I love camp so much. 1596 01:28:19,917 --> 01:28:21,476 I should go... 1597 01:28:21,500 --> 01:28:22,059 Yeah, me too. 1598 01:28:22,083 --> 01:28:23,518 ...do the... 1599 01:28:23,542 --> 01:28:24,059 thing. 1600 01:28:24,083 --> 01:28:26,726 Yep. 1601 01:28:32,083 --> 01:28:35,768 Sorry, everyone. 1602 01:28:35,792 --> 01:28:41,059 Just dealing with a ghost from my past! 1603 01:28:44,750 --> 01:28:49,643 Well, that was quite the closing campfire. 1604 01:28:49,667 --> 01:28:53,059 Thank you to Eli, for the ghost story. 1605 01:28:57,917 --> 01:29:00,341 What do you say we reconvene in the morning for a 1606 01:29:00,365 --> 01:29:03,691 delicious breakfast spread prepared by Allison? 1607 01:29:08,000 --> 01:29:09,935 How you doing? 1608 01:29:09,959 --> 01:29:14,629 Might've had a few bowls of FiberNuts, but I'm holding up. 1609 01:29:16,166 --> 01:29:20,309 Max, I had no idea that Jeff was going to show up tonight. 1610 01:29:20,333 --> 01:29:22,101 I am so sorry if this ruined -- 1611 01:29:22,125 --> 01:29:24,535 Uh-uh. 1612 01:29:24,667 --> 01:29:27,059 It's fine. 1613 01:29:27,083 --> 01:29:30,434 You know, we did all we could do. 1614 01:29:30,458 --> 01:29:34,168 And I am really glad you came back. 1615 01:29:34,834 --> 01:29:36,267 Okay. 1616 01:29:36,291 --> 01:29:37,309 Shall we? 1617 01:29:37,333 --> 01:29:40,633 Well, duh. 1618 01:29:44,083 --> 01:29:47,673 To best friends. 1619 01:29:49,333 --> 01:29:51,684 What about me? 1620 01:29:52,208 --> 01:29:53,518 Alright, get in here. 1621 01:29:53,542 --> 01:29:55,851 Do you have like supersonic hearing or something? 1622 01:29:55,875 --> 01:29:58,976 I've got some supersonic dishes I've got to do, so I'll just take one. 1623 01:29:59,000 --> 01:30:01,184 Okay. 1624 01:30:01,208 --> 01:30:02,017 Best friends. 1625 01:30:02,041 --> 01:30:05,017 Cheers, guys. 1626 01:30:19,041 --> 01:30:20,184 Max. 1627 01:30:20,208 --> 01:30:21,976 Channing Tatum. 1628 01:30:22,000 --> 01:30:24,893 Oh, my God. You guys overslept. 1629 01:30:24,917 --> 01:30:26,976 And you reek of scotch! 1630 01:30:27,000 --> 01:30:28,142 Now, come on. 1631 01:30:28,166 --> 01:30:30,726 Put an Altoid in your mouth and come help me out. 1632 01:30:30,750 --> 01:30:32,893 The line in the mess is insane. 1633 01:30:32,917 --> 01:30:34,226 What? 1634 01:30:34,250 --> 01:30:37,017 Yes! 1635 01:30:37,041 --> 01:30:38,851 Allison, everything's under control. 1636 01:30:38,875 --> 01:30:40,184 What are you talking about? 1637 01:30:40,208 --> 01:30:41,976 Oh, I'm not talking about this line. 1638 01:30:42,000 --> 01:30:43,880 Come on. 1639 01:30:45,708 --> 01:30:49,017 I'm talking about that line. 1640 01:30:51,917 --> 01:30:54,893 Yeah, no one can shut up about last night's ghost. 1641 01:30:54,917 --> 01:30:58,351 Apparently it reminded campers and ex-campers aka moms 1642 01:30:58,375 --> 01:31:01,351 with checkbooks how magical camp can be. 1643 01:31:01,375 --> 01:31:05,226 Plus I think they genuinely don't want Jared in charge of their children. 1644 01:31:09,417 --> 01:31:10,935 Hey. 1645 01:31:10,959 --> 01:31:11,893 Hey. 1646 01:31:11,917 --> 01:31:12,893 Guess what. 1647 01:31:12,917 --> 01:31:14,267 What? 1648 01:31:14,291 --> 01:31:17,142 We officially did it; over 60 percent of the camp has preregistered. 1649 01:31:17,166 --> 01:31:18,768 Hey, Chet? 1650 01:31:18,792 --> 01:31:20,976 Guess what? 1651 01:31:23,959 --> 01:31:26,101 Chet, please? 1652 01:31:26,125 --> 01:31:28,245 I don't get it. 1653 01:31:30,792 --> 01:31:32,142 Woodshed. 1654 01:31:32,166 --> 01:31:35,434 Chet, woodshed. 1655 01:31:35,458 --> 01:31:38,976 So like, how old do you have to be to be a counselor? 1656 01:31:39,000 --> 01:31:40,768 Because obvi, I am super-mature for my age. 1657 01:31:40,792 --> 01:31:43,309 Okay, smoker's cough doesn't make you mature. 1658 01:31:43,333 --> 01:31:45,393 Give it five more summers as a camper. 1659 01:31:45,417 --> 01:31:49,309 Okay. Well, can you put all the robin's eggs in the same cabin next year? 1660 01:31:49,333 --> 01:31:50,810 It's a deal. 1661 01:31:50,834 --> 01:31:53,101 Are you serious? 1662 01:31:53,125 --> 01:31:55,976 Whoa! 1663 01:31:56,000 --> 01:31:56,810 Bye. 1664 01:31:56,834 --> 01:31:58,684 I'll see you next summer, girls. 1665 01:31:58,708 --> 01:32:01,101 You guys, we did it! 1666 01:32:01,375 --> 01:32:03,142 So exciting! 1667 01:32:03,166 --> 01:32:04,142 I know! 1668 01:32:04,166 --> 01:32:06,351 Wow. 1669 01:32:06,375 --> 01:32:07,267 Maxine. 1670 01:32:07,291 --> 01:32:08,643 Hi! 1671 01:32:08,667 --> 01:32:11,309 I hear you are about to take over the Takota throne. 1672 01:32:11,333 --> 01:32:12,851 The rumors are true-mors, Ms. Fefferman. 1673 01:32:12,875 --> 01:32:13,810 Call me Kathy. 1674 01:32:13,834 --> 01:32:14,976 And then... 1675 01:32:15,000 --> 01:32:16,309 just call me. 1676 01:32:16,333 --> 01:32:17,309 Let's talk sponsorship! 1677 01:32:17,333 --> 01:32:19,393 Okay. 1678 01:32:19,417 --> 01:32:23,059 Elise, I just want to thank you for everything you did for Penny this summer. 1679 01:32:23,083 --> 01:32:25,142 It was my pleasure. 1680 01:32:25,166 --> 01:32:27,786 Everything? 1681 01:32:30,333 --> 01:32:33,184 Did you get a deal on Avon? 1682 01:32:33,208 --> 01:32:36,434 Kathy Fefferman: President of Fefferman Sporting Goods. 1683 01:32:36,458 --> 01:32:38,643 I smell an equestrian center. 1684 01:32:38,667 --> 01:32:39,893 Oh, no. That's just me. 1685 01:32:39,917 --> 01:32:41,017 Oh. 1686 01:32:41,041 --> 01:32:42,518 Ooh. 1687 01:32:42,542 --> 01:32:44,559 Guys, is that Lindsay Johnson? 1688 01:32:44,583 --> 01:32:48,393 The "practicing Frenching" Lindsay Johnson? 1689 01:32:48,417 --> 01:32:50,059 Excuse me, ladies. 1690 01:32:50,083 --> 01:32:53,476 ♪ This is my moment. ♪ 1691 01:32:53,500 --> 01:32:56,460 I'm going to go help with preregistrations. 1692 01:32:57,000 --> 01:32:58,184 In the woodshed. 1693 01:32:58,208 --> 01:33:00,893 Ooh. 1694 01:33:25,125 --> 01:33:27,059 Can I get in on this? 1695 01:33:27,083 --> 01:33:28,267 Bring it over, lady. 1696 01:33:28,291 --> 01:33:35,267 So Max, now that you are officially camp director, 1697 01:33:35,291 --> 01:33:37,893 and there's actually a camp to direct, 1698 01:33:37,917 --> 01:33:40,684 what is your first order of business? 1699 01:33:40,708 --> 01:33:41,351 Allison? 1700 01:33:41,375 --> 01:33:43,017 Yep? 1701 01:33:43,041 --> 01:33:44,500 You're fired. 1702 01:33:44,525 --> 01:33:46,184 Aww, man! 1703 01:33:46,208 --> 01:33:49,518 Don't worry, girl; we can be unemployed together! 1704 01:33:49,542 --> 01:33:53,601 Girls, seriously, thank you. 1705 01:33:53,625 --> 01:33:57,393 Like all jokes and sarcasm aside, thank you. 1706 01:33:57,417 --> 01:34:00,226 I'm pretty lucky to have two friends that will put up 1707 01:34:00,250 --> 01:34:01,601 with all my crazy ideas. 1708 01:34:01,625 --> 01:34:04,125 You know, like saving a camp. 1709 01:34:05,417 --> 01:34:07,059 I think it was worth saving. 1710 01:34:07,083 --> 01:34:08,226 Yep. 1711 01:34:08,250 --> 01:34:10,059 Agreed. 1712 01:34:10,083 --> 01:34:11,559 Unlike that fanny pack. 1713 01:34:11,583 --> 01:34:12,935 I'm sorry, what was that? 1714 01:34:12,959 --> 01:34:14,935 Okay, I haven't said a single thing 1715 01:34:14,959 --> 01:34:16,476 but that has got to go. 1716 01:34:16,500 --> 01:34:18,059 This is a classic, Elise. 1717 01:34:18,083 --> 01:34:19,476 It makes me class-sick. 1718 01:34:19,500 --> 01:34:20,559 Oo-ooh! 1719 01:34:20,583 --> 01:34:22,101 I did one. 1720 01:34:22,125 --> 01:34:23,309 That was good. 1721 01:34:23,333 --> 01:34:26,559 I'm proud of you for that joke, but I still don't believe you 1722 01:34:26,583 --> 01:34:28,476 on the fanny pack. 1723 01:34:28,500 --> 01:34:32,226 Yeah, you've really got to fanny-pack it up. 1724 01:34:51,375 --> 01:34:54,075 Raise that end a little higher? 1725 01:34:58,333 --> 01:35:01,017 It's perfect. 1726 01:35:09,333 --> 01:35:10,643 Thank you very much. 1727 01:35:10,667 --> 01:35:12,267 You're welcome. 1728 01:35:12,291 --> 01:35:13,184 What's your name? 1729 01:35:13,208 --> 01:35:16,393 Eli. 1730 01:35:16,417 --> 01:35:18,851 What are you doing here? 1731 01:35:18,875 --> 01:35:23,017 Well, I think you're really pretty, and I wanted your autograph, so. 1732 01:35:23,041 --> 01:35:25,476 You know you get these for free. 1733 01:35:25,500 --> 01:35:27,226 Quit holding up my line. 1734 01:35:27,250 --> 01:35:28,101 Alright. 1735 01:35:28,125 --> 01:35:30,017 I'll be at the bar. 1736 01:35:30,041 --> 01:35:32,518 Security! 1737 01:35:32,542 --> 01:35:34,226 Hi, what's your name? 1738 01:35:34,250 --> 01:35:35,267 Madison. 1739 01:35:35,291 --> 01:35:38,184 Hi, Madison. 1740 01:35:41,041 --> 01:35:43,684 Thank you. 1741 01:35:43,708 --> 01:35:45,184 Hi, what's your name? 1742 01:35:45,208 --> 01:35:46,184 Isabelle. 1743 01:35:46,208 --> 01:35:48,476 Hi, Isabelle. 1744 01:35:51,000 --> 01:35:56,000 * Camp Takota * (Pozdrowienia z Polski.) 1745 01:35:58,250 --> 01:36:00,059 ♪♪ Hey, ladies. 1746 01:36:00,083 --> 01:36:02,226 ♪ Camp, camp, camp it up. ♪ 1747 01:36:02,250 --> 01:36:03,851 ♪ Camp, camp, camp, camp, camp it up. ♪ 1748 01:36:03,875 --> 01:36:05,726 ♪ Camp, camp, camp it up. ♪ 1749 01:36:05,750 --> 01:36:07,184 ♪ Camp, camp, camp, camp, camp it up. ♪ 1750 01:36:07,208 --> 01:36:09,393 ♪ I said, camp, camp, camp it up. ♪ 1751 01:36:09,417 --> 01:36:10,893 ♪ Camp, camp, camp, camp, camp it up. ♪ 1752 01:36:10,917 --> 01:36:13,267 ♪ I said, camp, camp, camp it up. ♪ 1753 01:36:13,291 --> 01:36:14,601 ♪ Camp, camp, camp, camp, camp it up. ♪ 1754 01:36:14,625 --> 01:36:16,434 ♪ Camp! ♪ 1755 01:36:16,458 --> 01:36:18,559 ♪ Camp! ♪ 1756 01:36:18,583 --> 01:36:20,393 ♪ Camp! ♪ 1757 01:36:20,417 --> 01:36:22,226 ♪ Camp, camp, camp it up. ♪ 1758 01:36:22,250 --> 01:36:24,017 ♪ Camp! Cabins...! ♪ 1759 01:36:24,041 --> 01:36:25,393 ♪ Camp! Sunburn...! ♪ 1760 01:36:25,417 --> 01:36:27,393 ♪ Camp! Bug bites, bug bites. ♪ 1761 01:36:27,417 --> 01:36:29,393 ♪ Camp, camp, camp it up. ♪ 1762 01:36:29,417 --> 01:36:31,518 ♪ Camp. I got my camp stamp. ♪ 1763 01:36:31,542 --> 01:36:33,851 ♪ Camp. Row that boat. Row that boat. ♪ 1764 01:36:33,875 --> 01:36:35,101 ♪ Camp. Hoo-ha, hoo-ha. ♪ 1765 01:36:35,125 --> 01:36:36,893 ♪ Camp, camp, camp it up. ♪ 1766 01:36:36,917 --> 01:36:39,267 ♪ Camp. Give it to me at camp. ♪ 1767 01:36:39,291 --> 01:36:41,101 ♪ Camp. Just kidding: please don't. ♪ 1768 01:36:41,125 --> 01:36:42,601 ♪ Camp. The smells. ♪ 1769 01:36:42,625 --> 01:36:44,476 ♪ Camp... camp... camp! ♪ 1770 01:36:44,500 --> 01:36:46,601 ♪ Row that boat. Row that boat. ♪ 1771 01:36:46,625 --> 01:36:48,101 ♪ Why am I here? ♪ 1772 01:36:48,125 --> 01:36:50,101 ♪ Bug bites, bug bites. ♪ 1773 01:36:50,125 --> 01:36:52,434 ♪ Give it to me at camp. Yeah. ♪ 1774 01:36:52,458 --> 01:36:54,559 ♪ Row that boat, row that boat. ♪ 1775 01:36:54,583 --> 01:36:56,101 ♪ Why am I here? ♪ 1776 01:36:56,125 --> 01:36:57,601 ♪ Bug bites, bug bites. ♪ 1777 01:36:57,625 --> 01:36:59,935 ♪ Give it to me at camp. Yeah. ♪ 1778 01:36:59,959 --> 01:37:01,851 ♪ Camp, camp, camp it up. ♪ 1779 01:37:01,875 --> 01:37:05,142 ♪ Camp, camp, camp, camp, camp it up. ♪♪ 127031

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