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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,439 --> 00:00:06,504 I highly doubt I'm the first person to say this but... love is complicated. 2 00:00:06,506 --> 00:00:07,872 When you're in love, 3 00:00:07,930 --> 00:00:09,773 you see things differently than everyone else. 4 00:00:13,579 --> 00:00:17,348 _ 5 00:00:21,514 --> 00:00:23,954 I thought you said you were over Nori. 6 00:00:23,956 --> 00:00:25,323 I am. We're just friends. 7 00:00:25,355 --> 00:00:27,555 You're totally still seeing her in slo-mo. 8 00:00:27,557 --> 00:00:28,890 I can tell because you've been trying 9 00:00:28,925 --> 00:00:31,494 to open Joey Zinman's locker for five minutes. 10 00:00:32,546 --> 00:00:33,360 Sorry. 11 00:00:34,897 --> 00:00:36,664 And when love goes away 12 00:00:36,666 --> 00:00:38,499 it can take you a long time to get over it. 13 00:00:38,501 --> 00:00:40,368 _ 14 00:00:40,370 --> 00:00:42,636 - Hey, Alex. - Oh. 15 00:00:42,638 --> 00:00:44,071 Good, my razors are here. 16 00:00:44,073 --> 00:00:46,006 Don't you dare shave that beard. 17 00:00:46,008 --> 00:00:47,475 Fine, just the legs. 18 00:00:49,011 --> 00:00:51,178 - Have a good one, Alex. - You too, Susan. 19 00:00:54,117 --> 00:00:56,183 Dude, why don't you ask her out? 20 00:00:56,185 --> 00:00:57,651 That woman flirts with you 21 00:00:57,653 --> 00:00:59,253 every time she delivers a package. 22 00:00:59,255 --> 00:01:00,788 Oh, she was not flirting with me. 23 00:01:00,790 --> 00:01:02,456 Trust me, she is. 24 00:01:02,458 --> 00:01:03,891 You just can't see it because you've been 25 00:01:03,893 --> 00:01:05,326 closed off ever since the divorce. 26 00:01:05,328 --> 00:01:06,494 We talked about this man. 27 00:01:06,496 --> 00:01:07,795 I'm just not ready yet. 28 00:01:07,797 --> 00:01:09,053 Well, you better get ready for it 29 00:01:09,099 --> 00:01:10,865 because I'm about to order some light bulbs, 30 00:01:10,867 --> 00:01:13,000 and, yes, I'm paying extra 31 00:01:13,002 --> 00:01:15,403 for overnight delivery. 32 00:01:18,174 --> 00:01:19,807 Sometimes the pursuit of love 33 00:01:19,809 --> 00:01:22,343 makes you do things you never thought you would. 34 00:01:22,578 --> 00:01:23,578 _ 35 00:01:23,579 --> 00:01:25,780 - Go on, press another one. - I don't have time for this. 36 00:01:25,782 --> 00:01:27,715 I have to get my house ready for the fundraiser. 37 00:01:27,717 --> 00:01:29,517 Plus, these dating sites are stupid. 38 00:01:29,519 --> 00:01:33,354 Hey, this isn't some old-fashioned, cheesy dating site like Tinder. 39 00:01:33,356 --> 00:01:34,989 This is a highly sophisticated service 40 00:01:34,991 --> 00:01:36,657 that uses advanced algorithms 41 00:01:36,659 --> 00:01:38,192 to help you make a meaningful connection. 42 00:01:38,194 --> 00:01:40,261 Now press her face so we can judge her. 43 00:01:42,965 --> 00:01:44,999 - Hi, I'm Debbie. - Bye, Debbie. 44 00:01:45,001 --> 00:01:47,101 What was wrong with her? 45 00:01:47,674 --> 00:01:49,203 I didn't like the way she said "hi." 46 00:01:49,205 --> 00:01:51,939 You're not giving anyone a chance because you're still stuck on Eleanor. 47 00:01:51,941 --> 00:01:54,341 I am not stuck on Eleanor. 48 00:01:54,343 --> 00:01:56,677 I just like the way she says hi. 49 00:01:58,448 --> 00:02:00,781 Fine, I'll give Debbie another chance. 50 00:02:01,785 --> 00:02:02,750 I love a night out 51 00:02:02,752 --> 00:02:05,519 on the town or staying in, curling up with a good book. 52 00:02:05,521 --> 00:02:07,221 Uch. 53 00:02:07,223 --> 00:02:08,456 She's all over the map. 54 00:02:08,458 --> 00:02:10,324 Debbie, come on, pick a lane. 55 00:02:10,326 --> 00:02:12,893 So, I guess the bottom line is... 56 00:02:12,895 --> 00:02:15,996 I hate love. 57 00:02:25,612 --> 00:02:27,313 And the best part about being an inventor 58 00:02:27,318 --> 00:02:30,084 is that when you see a problem, you get to fix it. 59 00:02:30,086 --> 00:02:32,353 And the only problem I see today... 60 00:02:32,355 --> 00:02:35,556 is that you guys don't have any candy. 61 00:02:36,893 --> 00:02:37,825 Wow. 62 00:02:37,878 --> 00:02:42,563 Ladies and gentlemen, introducing the Riley Industries Candy-Pult 5000, 63 00:02:42,565 --> 00:02:44,498 patent pending. 64 00:02:49,639 --> 00:02:52,172 Thank you Mr. Riley for that wonderful presentation, 65 00:02:52,174 --> 00:02:55,476 and for giving a bunch of eight year olds sugar, then leaving. 66 00:02:55,478 --> 00:02:57,545 - Great job, Dad. - Thank you, sweetie. 67 00:02:57,547 --> 00:02:59,280 Now we're gonna hear from Jasmine's dad, 68 00:02:59,282 --> 00:03:01,815 and he's gonna tell us about his job. 69 00:03:02,555 --> 00:03:03,784 I thought we agreed no candy. 70 00:03:03,786 --> 00:03:05,819 Now all I got is this damn PowerPoint. 71 00:03:05,821 --> 00:03:07,151 Come on, man, you're gonna be great. 72 00:03:07,156 --> 00:03:09,323 Kids love detailed business plans. 73 00:03:10,226 --> 00:03:12,960 Hey, man, that thing packs some power. 74 00:03:12,962 --> 00:03:14,528 Caught a Smartie way back here. 75 00:03:14,530 --> 00:03:16,263 Oh, yeah, it can launch a Skittle 50 yards. 76 00:03:16,265 --> 00:03:18,165 It can launch a peanut M&M 50 yards. 77 00:03:18,167 --> 00:03:20,367 50 yards seems to be the range. 78 00:03:20,369 --> 00:03:21,702 Hey, you one of the new dads? 79 00:03:21,704 --> 00:03:23,370 - I'm Alex. - Oh, hey. Ben. 80 00:03:23,372 --> 00:03:25,339 Hey. Gosh, you look so familiar to me. 81 00:03:25,341 --> 00:03:26,807 Do I know you from somewhere? 82 00:03:26,809 --> 00:03:28,342 I was just thinking the same thing. 83 00:03:28,344 --> 00:03:29,777 Do you workout at Crossfit Glendale? 84 00:03:33,977 --> 00:03:35,382 Oh, you were serious. No. 85 00:03:35,384 --> 00:03:36,884 No, that's not me. 86 00:03:36,886 --> 00:03:38,886 That's why we always want to be conservative 87 00:03:38,888 --> 00:03:40,554 with our quarterly projections. 88 00:03:43,125 --> 00:03:44,625 Damn it, Alex. 89 00:03:46,162 --> 00:03:47,361 Hey, little bro. 90 00:03:47,363 --> 00:03:49,737 I think I have the perfect plan to get you and Nori together. 91 00:03:49,832 --> 00:03:51,531 Well, it's not going to be worse than your last plan 92 00:03:51,534 --> 00:03:53,400 - to get us together. - Again... 93 00:03:53,402 --> 00:03:55,169 You were supposed to eat a mint then kiss her. 94 00:03:55,171 --> 00:03:56,870 Not choke on a mint and spit it into her mouth 95 00:03:56,872 --> 00:03:58,672 like you were feeding a baby bird. 96 00:03:58,674 --> 00:04:00,341 What if I told you there was a day 97 00:04:00,343 --> 00:04:02,376 where the rules of school do not apply? 98 00:04:02,378 --> 00:04:05,446 Where everything that happened in the past no longer matters? 99 00:04:05,448 --> 00:04:09,016 I speak, of course, of the field trip. 100 00:04:09,714 --> 00:04:10,818 Oh. 101 00:04:10,820 --> 00:04:12,886 You guys got a field trip coming up? 102 00:04:12,888 --> 00:04:15,255 I used to love field trips, you know. 103 00:04:15,257 --> 00:04:17,591 It's not school. It's not home. 104 00:04:17,593 --> 00:04:19,860 It's the wild west out there where anything can happen, 105 00:04:19,862 --> 00:04:22,162 - and often does. - Exactly. 106 00:04:22,164 --> 00:04:24,064 You know Josh Hubbard and Kristina Wiggins? 107 00:04:24,066 --> 00:04:26,333 Yeah, the couple who are basically joined at the tongue? 108 00:04:26,335 --> 00:04:29,236 Well, last year Josh was a geek and Kristina was a cheerleader. 109 00:04:29,238 --> 00:04:31,005 He was nowhere on her radar. 110 00:04:31,007 --> 00:04:33,507 Then one visit to the Colonial Farming Museum later, 111 00:04:33,509 --> 00:04:35,275 they're practically married. 112 00:04:35,277 --> 00:04:37,077 Classic field trip love story. 113 00:04:37,079 --> 00:04:38,445 See? 114 00:04:38,447 --> 00:04:40,080 - Okay, I'm in. - Yes. 115 00:04:40,082 --> 00:04:41,715 Yeah, when I was in the seventh grade, 116 00:04:41,717 --> 00:04:44,418 my school went to the American Heritage Museum. 117 00:04:44,420 --> 00:04:46,987 I ended up making out with Lori Shooter 118 00:04:46,989 --> 00:04:48,656 next to a stuffed bison. 119 00:04:48,658 --> 00:04:50,424 Was she the cutest girl in school? 120 00:04:50,426 --> 00:04:52,826 She was not. 121 00:04:52,828 --> 00:04:54,828 I was field tripped. 122 00:04:59,368 --> 00:05:01,268 There are a lot of attractive, charitable women 123 00:05:01,270 --> 00:05:02,836 at this fundraiser. 124 00:05:02,838 --> 00:05:04,672 Maybe even charitable enough to go out with you. 125 00:05:06,142 --> 00:05:07,408 Vodka cranberry, please. 126 00:05:07,410 --> 00:05:09,043 Vodka cranberry, 127 00:05:09,045 --> 00:05:10,744 the drink of sorority girls the world over. 128 00:05:11,511 --> 00:05:12,346 Kelly Frasier. 129 00:05:12,348 --> 00:05:14,281 Surprised to see you in my house. 130 00:05:14,283 --> 00:05:16,283 I didn't notice your broomstick outside. 131 00:05:16,285 --> 00:05:17,818 Oh, this is your house? 132 00:05:17,820 --> 00:05:20,721 I thought it smelled like un-met third quarter projections. 133 00:05:20,723 --> 00:05:22,322 No, that's your perfume. 134 00:05:22,324 --> 00:05:24,525 You... you're the smell. 135 00:05:24,527 --> 00:05:26,427 Ooh, that wasn't your best, Dad. 136 00:05:26,429 --> 00:05:28,162 "Dad"? Is this your daughter? 137 00:05:28,164 --> 00:05:31,999 Kelly, Abby. Abby, evil in human form. 138 00:05:32,001 --> 00:05:34,134 - Hi. - Pleasure to meet you, Abby. 139 00:05:34,136 --> 00:05:35,936 Your father and I go way back. 140 00:05:35,938 --> 00:05:38,138 How long has my company been outperforming yours? 141 00:05:38,140 --> 00:05:39,573 What, 15, 20 years? 142 00:05:39,575 --> 00:05:42,009 No, no that would be never years. 143 00:05:42,011 --> 00:05:43,744 Clever. 144 00:05:43,746 --> 00:05:45,312 Nice to meet you. 145 00:05:47,049 --> 00:05:49,283 I don't think she really thought that was clever. 146 00:05:50,103 --> 00:05:51,151 What is she talking about? 147 00:05:51,153 --> 00:05:54,021 My company has always been just as successful as hers. 148 00:05:54,023 --> 00:05:55,622 I've never seen you so rattled. 149 00:05:55,624 --> 00:05:57,573 Good thing you're retired. You don't have to deal with her anymore. 150 00:05:57,594 --> 00:06:01,462 You're absolutely right. I never have to think about her again. 151 00:06:02,355 --> 00:06:03,908 - Be right back. - Where are you going? 152 00:06:04,400 --> 00:06:07,334 I just thought of a great comeback. 153 00:06:09,138 --> 00:06:12,139 Okay. So we've packed the most tradable snacks, 154 00:06:12,141 --> 00:06:13,807 you're wearing some of my dad's aftershave... 155 00:06:13,809 --> 00:06:15,909 Which burns. It burns bad. 156 00:06:15,911 --> 00:06:17,411 Hey, it roped in your mom. 157 00:06:17,413 --> 00:06:18,846 Not the goal here. 158 00:06:18,848 --> 00:06:20,481 Just... what's next on your list? 159 00:06:20,483 --> 00:06:22,316 Okay, item number three on the list... 160 00:06:22,318 --> 00:06:23,851 "Sit next to Nori on the bus." 161 00:06:23,853 --> 00:06:26,186 Okay, sitting. I can do that. 162 00:06:26,188 --> 00:06:28,222 I'll just go up to her and say something like... 163 00:06:28,224 --> 00:06:29,890 "Hey, Nori, is this seat taken?" 164 00:06:29,892 --> 00:06:31,725 Load them up! 165 00:06:31,727 --> 00:06:35,095 That's weak, little bro. This is Nori Sterling. 166 00:06:35,097 --> 00:06:39,066 You have to be smooth. More Fresh Prince, less Urkel. 167 00:06:46,242 --> 00:06:47,841 A wave. That's good. 168 00:06:47,843 --> 00:06:49,510 - Now all you have to do is... - Hey, Nori. 169 00:06:49,512 --> 00:06:51,745 Is this seat taken? 170 00:06:51,747 --> 00:06:55,249 No, go ahead. 171 00:06:55,251 --> 00:06:57,518 He stole my line. 172 00:06:57,520 --> 00:07:01,455 Looks like we've got... competition. 173 00:07:02,591 --> 00:07:04,525 Good way to think about it, just like your ABC's. 174 00:07:04,527 --> 00:07:07,261 Airway, breathing, circulation. 175 00:07:07,263 --> 00:07:09,429 Level with me. Was it that bad? 176 00:07:09,431 --> 00:07:11,532 I mean, I would have done a little less 177 00:07:11,534 --> 00:07:14,234 on corporate tax loopholes, but you do you man. 178 00:07:14,236 --> 00:07:15,903 So I'm gonna bring out a buddy of mine. 179 00:07:15,905 --> 00:07:18,238 This is, uh, Rescue Annie, 180 00:07:18,240 --> 00:07:20,874 and now I'm gonna show you how to perform CPR. 181 00:07:20,876 --> 00:07:22,543 God, it's killing me. 182 00:07:22,545 --> 00:07:24,444 Where do I know this guy from? Do you recognize him? 183 00:07:24,446 --> 00:07:26,561 I don't know. Y'all all look the same to me. 184 00:07:26,616 --> 00:07:28,549 So for every 30 compressions... 185 00:07:28,551 --> 00:07:30,083 I do two breaths. 186 00:07:46,335 --> 00:07:47,968 Sarah! 187 00:07:55,344 --> 00:07:56,810 Holy crap. 188 00:07:56,812 --> 00:07:58,779 I know where I know this guy from. 189 00:08:06,747 --> 00:08:09,681 Named after French physicist L�on Foucault, 190 00:08:09,683 --> 00:08:13,318 the pendulum is comprised of a 240 pound ball 191 00:08:13,320 --> 00:08:15,120 held by a 40 foot cable. 192 00:08:15,122 --> 00:08:16,888 Powered by the rotation of the Earth... 193 00:08:16,890 --> 00:08:18,356 Don't worry, little bro. 194 00:08:18,358 --> 00:08:20,925 The bus was only one small part of the plan. 195 00:08:20,927 --> 00:08:23,962 "Step four, stand out and grab Nori's attention 196 00:08:23,964 --> 00:08:25,056 by making the class laugh." 197 00:08:25,198 --> 00:08:26,134 That's really gonna help? 198 00:08:26,200 --> 00:08:27,630 Women love funny dudes. 199 00:08:27,702 --> 00:08:30,068 Have you ever seen Steven Wright's girlfriend? 200 00:08:30,070 --> 00:08:31,436 Schwing! 201 00:08:31,438 --> 00:08:33,438 Quiet, you two. 202 00:08:33,440 --> 00:08:34,940 Because of the Earth's rotation 203 00:08:34,975 --> 00:08:37,516 the pendulum knocks over one of these pegs every 20 minutes. 204 00:08:37,611 --> 00:08:39,177 Now, I know what you're thinking, 205 00:08:39,179 --> 00:08:42,847 but it's science, not magic. 206 00:08:42,849 --> 00:08:44,535 - Yes. - Could you work some magic? 207 00:08:44,618 --> 00:08:46,885 Make the rest of this lecture disappear? 208 00:08:46,900 --> 00:08:49,287 It's like he stole our playbook. 209 00:08:49,289 --> 00:08:50,076 Terrific. 210 00:08:50,091 --> 00:08:52,504 Looks like we got a regular Steven Wright on our hands. 211 00:08:52,593 --> 00:08:55,226 Okay, everyone, follow me. 212 00:08:55,228 --> 00:08:56,955 - Yes? - But I really want 213 00:08:56,964 --> 00:08:58,576 to see the pendulum knock down a peg. 214 00:08:58,665 --> 00:09:01,266 And I really want a job that pays an actual salary. 215 00:09:01,268 --> 00:09:03,435 Follow me. 216 00:09:03,437 --> 00:09:05,637 Did you hear that? I know how to impress Nori. 217 00:09:05,669 --> 00:09:06,968 Watch this. 218 00:09:06,970 --> 00:09:08,336 Hey, Nori! 219 00:09:08,338 --> 00:09:09,280 Check it out. 220 00:09:09,373 --> 00:09:11,973 I think the peg's about to fall. 221 00:09:22,019 --> 00:09:24,386 Uh-oh. 222 00:09:24,388 --> 00:09:26,021 Ow. 223 00:09:26,023 --> 00:09:28,089 Well, at least he got her attention. 224 00:09:33,597 --> 00:09:35,463 Hey, hey, hey, why'd you storm out? 225 00:09:35,465 --> 00:09:37,365 He was just about to break out the shocky paddle things. 226 00:09:37,367 --> 00:09:39,234 That's the guy I caught sleeping with Sarah. 227 00:09:39,236 --> 00:09:40,902 That's the guy that ruined my marriage. 228 00:09:40,904 --> 00:09:42,070 Him? 229 00:09:42,072 --> 00:09:43,572 Are you sure? 230 00:09:46,510 --> 00:09:49,878 Yeah, that's him. God, this is horrible. 231 00:09:49,880 --> 00:09:52,581 I don't want to have to see that guy at drop off every day. 232 00:09:52,583 --> 00:09:55,150 Well, he's going to be there. So like it or not, 233 00:09:55,152 --> 00:09:56,751 you're gonna have to confront him. 234 00:09:56,753 --> 00:09:58,286 Oh, you mean punch him in the face. 235 00:09:58,288 --> 00:10:00,355 No, I mean tell him what he did was wrong. 236 00:10:00,357 --> 00:10:02,424 I don't know, I kind of like your face-punching idea better. 237 00:10:02,426 --> 00:10:04,726 - That wasn't my idea. - Don't be so humble. 238 00:10:04,728 --> 00:10:06,628 Look, all I'm saying is just go up to the guy 239 00:10:06,630 --> 00:10:08,396 and tell him with words 240 00:10:08,398 --> 00:10:10,532 all the things you're feeling right now. 241 00:10:10,534 --> 00:10:12,100 The hurt, the anger, betrayal. 242 00:10:12,102 --> 00:10:14,069 Don't ignore it. Talk to him. 243 00:10:14,071 --> 00:10:17,038 Oh, that's good. Yeah, get him to let his guard down. 244 00:10:17,040 --> 00:10:18,607 So I can punch him in the face. 245 00:10:20,477 --> 00:10:22,410 Morning, Dad. You're not dressed. 246 00:10:22,412 --> 00:10:24,045 I thought we were playing tennis this morning. 247 00:10:24,047 --> 00:10:26,748 - My God, I totally forgot. - No problem. 248 00:10:26,750 --> 00:10:29,184 I'll just grab some coffee while you get ready. 249 00:10:29,186 --> 00:10:31,786 Um, no, I don't think I'm going to play today. 250 00:10:31,788 --> 00:10:33,154 I don't really feel up to it. 251 00:10:33,156 --> 00:10:35,924 Are you still upset because you ran into that horrible woman you hate? 252 00:10:35,926 --> 00:10:37,692 I think he got over it. 253 00:10:40,297 --> 00:10:42,063 Abby... 254 00:10:42,065 --> 00:10:43,832 you remember Kelly. 255 00:10:45,569 --> 00:10:48,536 Wow. Must have been some comeback. 256 00:10:49,264 --> 00:10:50,705 - Coffee? - No, thanks. 257 00:10:50,707 --> 00:10:52,474 - I'm just gonna... - Oh, you want... 258 00:10:52,476 --> 00:10:53,589 - That's okay. - You sure? 259 00:10:53,644 --> 00:10:55,377 - Yep. No. - But. 260 00:10:57,314 --> 00:10:59,848 - Dude, it's your lucky day. - Lucky? 261 00:10:59,850 --> 00:11:02,250 Yeah, I fell in a pit, sprained my wrist, 262 00:11:02,252 --> 00:11:04,085 and totally humiliated myself. 263 00:11:04,087 --> 00:11:07,589 And now you reap the benefits of the sympathy card. 264 00:11:07,591 --> 00:11:09,457 Nobody is going to have sympathy for me. 265 00:11:09,459 --> 00:11:10,892 They're just gonna give me a new nickname. 266 00:11:10,894 --> 00:11:13,928 Wristy... Falls-in-a-pit-guy... 267 00:11:13,930 --> 00:11:15,563 This school is rarely clever. 268 00:11:16,303 --> 00:11:17,365 Falls-in-a-pit-guy. 269 00:11:17,367 --> 00:11:19,401 - This is worse than "Chokey." - No, no. 270 00:11:19,403 --> 00:11:22,137 I overheard Nori say she was totally worried about you. 271 00:11:22,139 --> 00:11:23,058 Really? 272 00:11:23,140 --> 00:11:25,340 So I spoke to her and was able to parlay 273 00:11:25,342 --> 00:11:27,342 that worry into her saving you a seat at the movie. 274 00:11:27,344 --> 00:11:29,210 Cool. 275 00:11:29,212 --> 00:11:32,013 - Thanks, Justin. - You got it, Wristy. 276 00:11:35,552 --> 00:11:37,686 Hey. Where do you think you're going? 277 00:11:37,688 --> 00:11:39,487 Oh, hey, Alex. 278 00:11:39,489 --> 00:11:41,156 I was just heading to my car. 279 00:11:41,158 --> 00:11:43,024 You don't even know who I am, do you? 280 00:11:43,026 --> 00:11:44,793 Oh... I'm sorry. 281 00:11:44,795 --> 00:11:46,561 I thought you said your name was Alex. 282 00:11:46,563 --> 00:11:48,963 It is. I... 283 00:11:50,167 --> 00:11:52,701 Sorry, I thought... I had already planned out something to say. 284 00:11:52,703 --> 00:11:55,403 I didn't think that you were going to say what you did... 285 00:11:55,405 --> 00:11:57,238 Look, the point is 286 00:11:57,240 --> 00:12:00,909 you slept with my wife, and this... is a confrontation. 287 00:12:00,911 --> 00:12:02,210 What? 288 00:12:02,212 --> 00:12:04,179 My wife was Sarah Riley. 289 00:12:06,016 --> 00:12:07,833 Oh, my God. 290 00:12:08,785 --> 00:12:10,385 I swear, I... 291 00:12:10,387 --> 00:12:11,786 I had no idea she was married. 292 00:12:11,788 --> 00:12:13,221 Once I found out, I felt horrible. 293 00:12:13,223 --> 00:12:14,489 Oh, you felt horrible? 294 00:12:14,491 --> 00:12:16,991 I know it's nothing compared to what you went through. 295 00:12:16,993 --> 00:12:18,660 I destroyed your family, 296 00:12:18,662 --> 00:12:20,929 and I have to live with that for the rest of my life. 297 00:12:20,931 --> 00:12:22,397 Oh, so you really didn't know, huh? 298 00:12:22,399 --> 00:12:24,132 I didn't. 299 00:12:24,134 --> 00:12:26,501 I know that doesn't fix things, but... 300 00:12:26,503 --> 00:12:28,269 I really am sorry. 301 00:12:28,271 --> 00:12:30,572 So if you... 302 00:12:30,574 --> 00:12:32,073 If you need to punch me in the face, 303 00:12:32,075 --> 00:12:34,209 punch me in the face. 304 00:12:37,080 --> 00:12:39,114 Well, see, now I don't wanna. I... 305 00:12:41,685 --> 00:12:44,152 Well, I guess this is goodbye. 306 00:12:44,154 --> 00:12:48,189 Um, yeah, or we could, uh, maybe have breakfast. 307 00:12:48,191 --> 00:12:49,891 - Breakfast? - Yeah, breakfast. 308 00:12:49,893 --> 00:12:51,493 You know, first meal of the day. 309 00:12:51,495 --> 00:12:53,094 Sometimes served with orange juice or a mimosa, 310 00:12:53,096 --> 00:12:54,863 or in your case straight vodka. 311 00:12:56,233 --> 00:12:57,999 I just thought this was a... 312 00:12:58,001 --> 00:12:59,934 one night, no breakfast kind of thing. 313 00:12:59,936 --> 00:13:01,870 You know, wham-bam-no-Grand-Slam. 314 00:13:02,104 --> 00:13:04,305 So did I, but... 315 00:13:04,307 --> 00:13:07,075 This was a lot of fun. And I'm starving. 316 00:13:07,077 --> 00:13:09,711 I guess a little breakfast couldn't hurt. 317 00:13:09,713 --> 00:13:11,546 Let's, uh, see what's nearby. 318 00:13:11,548 --> 00:13:14,883 Pull up nearby breakfast restaurants. 319 00:13:14,885 --> 00:13:16,551 Oh, Corky's looks good. 320 00:13:16,553 --> 00:13:19,788 Uh, no. I can't take you there. 321 00:13:19,790 --> 00:13:23,158 - Why, what's at Corky's? - No one. 322 00:13:23,160 --> 00:13:25,193 - Do you have a girlfriend? - No. 323 00:13:25,195 --> 00:13:27,929 Not a girlfriend. Someone I... 324 00:13:27,931 --> 00:13:29,397 like, probably shouldn't. 325 00:13:29,399 --> 00:13:30,865 It's silly. 326 00:13:30,867 --> 00:13:33,568 Are you kidding? This is great. 327 00:13:33,570 --> 00:13:36,805 This is the first time I've genuinely been interested 328 00:13:36,807 --> 00:13:39,073 in you since we ran into each other last night. 329 00:13:39,075 --> 00:13:41,810 Till now you were basically a piece of exercise equipment. 330 00:13:41,812 --> 00:13:43,624 You're sick, you know that? 331 00:13:44,481 --> 00:13:47,248 This is getting my... 332 00:13:47,250 --> 00:13:48,983 competitive juices flowing. 333 00:13:48,985 --> 00:13:52,253 I'm gonna make you forget all about this woman. 334 00:13:52,255 --> 00:13:54,389 Well... 335 00:13:54,391 --> 00:13:57,058 You've already made me forget about breakfast. 336 00:13:57,060 --> 00:14:00,361 - Ow. - What... what's wrong? 337 00:14:00,363 --> 00:14:02,397 An old injury. 338 00:14:02,399 --> 00:14:04,432 How's your wrist? Does it hurt? 339 00:14:04,434 --> 00:14:07,001 Nah, they gave me extra strength Tylenol. 340 00:14:07,003 --> 00:14:08,336 The adult ones. 341 00:14:08,338 --> 00:14:09,938 You know, the kind that firemen take 342 00:14:09,940 --> 00:14:12,173 after they fall off a ladder. 343 00:14:12,175 --> 00:14:13,942 Alex, my man. 344 00:14:13,944 --> 00:14:16,077 - Glad to see you're okay. - Hey, Phil. 345 00:14:16,079 --> 00:14:18,413 I gotta tell you, when I saw you fall in that pit 346 00:14:18,415 --> 00:14:20,114 all I could think of were the horrible nicknames 347 00:14:20,116 --> 00:14:21,683 people were going to call you. 348 00:14:21,685 --> 00:14:24,352 Sprainy... Wristopher... 349 00:14:25,911 --> 00:14:27,956 That one seems to be gathering steam. 350 00:14:27,958 --> 00:14:30,625 - Are you crying? - Don't fall for it, Nori. 351 00:14:30,627 --> 00:14:32,861 He's fake crying so you'll think he's a good guy. 352 00:14:32,863 --> 00:14:34,762 But he seems really upset. 353 00:14:34,764 --> 00:14:35,617 He's not upset. 354 00:14:35,632 --> 00:14:37,251 He's the president of the drama club, 355 00:14:37,334 --> 00:14:39,467 and he's always bragging about having a commercial agent. 356 00:14:39,469 --> 00:14:41,703 I just booked a J.C. Penney spot. 357 00:14:41,705 --> 00:14:43,404 Welcome to the world famous 358 00:14:43,406 --> 00:14:46,040 Los Angeles Science and History Museum. 359 00:14:46,387 --> 00:14:47,876 Our journey begins 360 00:14:47,878 --> 00:14:50,011 - billions of years ago. - Faker. 361 00:14:50,013 --> 00:14:52,313 - I am not, Wristopher. - Shh. 362 00:14:52,315 --> 00:14:54,106 Wristopher? That doesn't even make any sense. 363 00:14:54,151 --> 00:14:56,484 - It's a play on Christopher. - But that's not even my name. 364 00:14:56,486 --> 00:14:59,387 If you want to talk so much, you can do it by yourselves. 365 00:15:05,829 --> 00:15:09,497 She's gone. You don't have to keep fake crying. 366 00:15:09,499 --> 00:15:11,499 My acting coach encourages me 367 00:15:11,501 --> 00:15:13,935 to access the memories of my dead grandma. 368 00:15:16,072 --> 00:15:17,705 Here they come again. 369 00:15:20,744 --> 00:15:22,410 Alex. 370 00:15:22,412 --> 00:15:25,580 How'd your showdown go with the... CPR guy? 371 00:15:25,582 --> 00:15:28,016 You're playing video games with? 372 00:15:28,018 --> 00:15:29,139 Hey, Jasmine's dad. 373 00:15:29,219 --> 00:15:32,320 Can I just say, you have a beautiful home. 374 00:15:32,322 --> 00:15:33,409 Isn't he the sweetest? 375 00:15:33,457 --> 00:15:36,291 - Here's a sweet dunk on you. - No, come on, no. 376 00:15:36,293 --> 00:15:37,559 - Oh. - Oh, shut up. 377 00:15:37,561 --> 00:15:38,927 How are you so good at this? 378 00:15:44,325 --> 00:15:47,155 What the hell is that man doing in my house? 379 00:15:47,190 --> 00:15:48,560 We actually have a lot in common. 380 00:15:48,562 --> 00:15:50,095 Yeah, you both slept with your wife. 381 00:15:50,097 --> 00:15:51,897 Yeah, and he feels terrible about it. 382 00:15:51,899 --> 00:15:53,165 You know he hasn't had a good night's sleep 383 00:15:53,167 --> 00:15:54,800 since it happened. 384 00:15:54,802 --> 00:15:57,469 So that's it, now you're just cool with him? 385 00:15:57,471 --> 00:15:59,004 I feel like you're not dealing with this. 386 00:15:59,006 --> 00:16:00,305 Maybe I don't have to deal with it. 387 00:16:00,307 --> 00:16:01,648 Maybe we can just be friends. 388 00:16:01,743 --> 00:16:03,609 This isn't healthy man. 389 00:16:05,188 --> 00:16:06,211 What is that smell? 390 00:16:06,635 --> 00:16:07,613 Ben brought a banana bread over. 391 00:16:07,615 --> 00:16:09,448 He baked it himself. 392 00:16:14,223 --> 00:16:17,523 Okay, if I have a slice, that does not mean I condone this. 393 00:16:17,525 --> 00:16:19,224 Oh, no, you have to have a slice. 394 00:16:19,226 --> 00:16:20,592 It is stupid good. 395 00:16:20,594 --> 00:16:22,795 I do love me some banana bread. 396 00:16:26,100 --> 00:16:28,500 Hey, Nori. You okay? 397 00:16:28,502 --> 00:16:31,537 What is it about field trips that makes all the boys go bonkers? 398 00:16:31,539 --> 00:16:33,472 I mean, I expected this from other guys 399 00:16:33,474 --> 00:16:35,040 but not Alex. 400 00:16:35,042 --> 00:16:37,142 Don't blame Alex. It's all my fault. 401 00:16:37,144 --> 00:16:39,411 Ever since I gave him the mint at the dance, 402 00:16:39,413 --> 00:16:41,647 you know, the one he choked on and spat into your mouth. 403 00:16:41,649 --> 00:16:43,282 Yeah, I remember. 404 00:16:43,284 --> 00:16:44,950 Well, ever since the Mint-cident, 405 00:16:44,952 --> 00:16:46,752 coined that term myself, 406 00:16:46,754 --> 00:16:48,520 I've trying to make up for it by playing matchmaker. 407 00:16:48,522 --> 00:16:51,323 And when we saw you and Phil Ricozzi sitting together on the bus... 408 00:16:51,325 --> 00:16:52,958 Phil Ricozzi? 409 00:16:52,960 --> 00:16:54,860 I wouldn't be into that guy in a million years. 410 00:16:54,862 --> 00:16:56,428 Have you seen his Plumber King spot? 411 00:16:56,430 --> 00:16:58,363 Yeah, with that stupid slogan. 412 00:16:58,365 --> 00:17:00,933 "Nothing beats a Royal Flush." 413 00:17:03,370 --> 00:17:05,404 Oh, royal flush. 414 00:17:05,406 --> 00:17:06,738 I just got that. 415 00:17:06,740 --> 00:17:08,974 - But still Phil sucked. - Agreed. 416 00:17:11,111 --> 00:17:13,478 Mmm, how's it so moist all the way through? 417 00:17:13,480 --> 00:17:15,948 You know I can give you the recipe. 418 00:17:15,950 --> 00:17:17,583 - Nah, I don't want it. - Oh, my God. 419 00:17:17,585 --> 00:17:19,042 You are killing me. 420 00:17:19,120 --> 00:17:21,019 You haven't missed any three pointers this whole quarter. 421 00:17:21,021 --> 00:17:22,151 How are you so good at this? 422 00:17:22,156 --> 00:17:24,056 My players, you know, they get to bed early. 423 00:17:24,058 --> 00:17:24,940 They eat right. 424 00:17:25,026 --> 00:17:27,860 They are not allowed in that nightclub from Grand Theft Auto. 425 00:17:28,542 --> 00:17:30,596 Oh, and then before the game starts I just press 426 00:17:30,598 --> 00:17:33,065 X, X, square, down, X, circle, circle, circle. 427 00:17:34,368 --> 00:17:36,468 Wait. You use a cheat code? 428 00:17:36,470 --> 00:17:37,970 It's silly, I know. 429 00:17:38,932 --> 00:17:39,838 Wait, so you were cheating? 430 00:17:39,840 --> 00:17:43,075 Oh, come on, if the game lets you do it, it's not really cheating, right? 431 00:17:44,345 --> 00:17:46,011 So let me get this straight. 432 00:17:46,013 --> 00:17:48,680 - You come into my house... - Technically my house. 433 00:17:48,682 --> 00:17:51,183 And without any consideration for anyone else's feelings, 434 00:17:51,185 --> 00:17:52,985 just because you felt like it, you cheated? 435 00:17:52,987 --> 00:17:55,520 Okay, I think I can see where this is going. 436 00:17:55,522 --> 00:17:57,189 Cheater! 437 00:17:58,225 --> 00:18:00,492 I think he's coming to. 438 00:18:02,529 --> 00:18:03,929 Are you okay, man? 439 00:18:08,435 --> 00:18:09,835 What happened? 440 00:18:09,837 --> 00:18:11,570 Well you punched Ben in the face, 441 00:18:11,572 --> 00:18:13,372 and then you screamed, "My wrist!" 442 00:18:13,374 --> 00:18:15,974 Then you fainted like a lady in a Jane Austen novel. 443 00:18:15,976 --> 00:18:17,709 Hey, let me take a look at it, all right? 444 00:18:17,711 --> 00:18:19,278 Sorry, man, I don't know what happened. 445 00:18:19,280 --> 00:18:21,914 I do. You got a lot of repressed aggression 446 00:18:21,916 --> 00:18:23,582 against the guy who slept with your wife, 447 00:18:23,584 --> 00:18:25,450 and I think you needed to get it out. 448 00:18:25,452 --> 00:18:26,919 I did. 449 00:18:26,921 --> 00:18:28,407 I suddenly feel so much better. 450 00:18:28,689 --> 00:18:30,489 Except for my wrist. 451 00:18:30,491 --> 00:18:32,971 - How's your jaw? - It's fine. 452 00:18:33,257 --> 00:18:35,360 You're probably still in shock. 453 00:18:35,362 --> 00:18:36,895 Yeah, that's probably it. 454 00:18:36,897 --> 00:18:38,230 Yeah. 455 00:18:38,232 --> 00:18:40,098 Look, you were right, Darryl. 456 00:18:40,100 --> 00:18:41,900 Ever since the divorce, I've all these feelings 457 00:18:41,902 --> 00:18:43,902 of anger and hurt just bottled up. 458 00:18:43,904 --> 00:18:46,772 It all came out in one ferocious punch like I was a young Mike Tyson. 459 00:18:46,774 --> 00:18:48,373 Well, how young are we talking here? 460 00:18:48,375 --> 00:18:51,343 - Like age 4? - I'm having a moment. 461 00:18:51,345 --> 00:18:54,680 Ben, I appreciate you helping me get to this point, 462 00:18:54,682 --> 00:18:56,782 but I don't think we should be friends. 463 00:18:57,690 --> 00:18:59,017 Totally get it, man. 464 00:19:00,002 --> 00:19:01,279 We had a good run. 465 00:19:05,626 --> 00:19:07,526 I have something else I want to say to that guy. 466 00:19:07,528 --> 00:19:09,294 You want to get that banana bread recipe? 467 00:19:09,296 --> 00:19:12,397 - Just so moist. - So moist. 468 00:19:12,399 --> 00:19:13,865 So let me get this straight. 469 00:19:13,867 --> 00:19:15,300 You could date any of these women. 470 00:19:15,302 --> 00:19:17,369 Or these women. 471 00:19:17,371 --> 00:19:18,971 Or this guy. 472 00:19:18,973 --> 00:19:20,939 How did he sneak in there? 473 00:19:20,941 --> 00:19:24,376 But instead you choose someone you've hated for 20 years. 474 00:19:24,378 --> 00:19:27,412 Hm. I don't know what to tell you. 475 00:19:27,414 --> 00:19:29,948 The heart wants what the heart... 476 00:19:29,950 --> 00:19:32,084 is incredibly annoyed by. 477 00:19:32,086 --> 00:19:34,252 So, you and Kelly, are you guys a thing now? 478 00:19:34,254 --> 00:19:37,222 Don't know. But I like that I like someone. 479 00:19:37,224 --> 00:19:40,292 And I like that it's not Eleanor. 480 00:19:40,294 --> 00:19:41,927 Me too. 481 00:19:44,852 --> 00:19:46,064 You know, this guy's kinda cute. 482 00:19:47,735 --> 00:19:50,936 Hi, I'm Brad, but the ladies call me rad. 483 00:19:50,938 --> 00:19:53,372 Nope. 484 00:19:53,374 --> 00:19:56,675 Sometimes you find love in unexpected places. 485 00:19:56,677 --> 00:19:59,478 But sometimes you just have to let it find you. 486 00:20:01,022 --> 00:20:03,181 Hey, I'm going to the post office. I can take that for you if you want. 487 00:20:03,183 --> 00:20:05,117 Oh, no, thanks, Susan's coming by to pick it up. 488 00:20:05,119 --> 00:20:07,152 - Susan? - What? 489 00:20:07,154 --> 00:20:09,121 I'm just sending a box. 490 00:20:09,123 --> 00:20:11,957 To your parents who live five miles away? 491 00:20:11,959 --> 00:20:14,574 - And with nothing in it? - You're right. 492 00:20:14,609 --> 00:20:16,661 I should probably throw some laundry in there, huh? 493 00:20:16,663 --> 00:20:18,229 I'm proud of you, buddy. 494 00:20:20,034 --> 00:20:23,902 Other times, you're just happy to find out you're still in the game. 495 00:20:25,616 --> 00:20:27,072 Today was a disaster. 496 00:20:27,074 --> 00:20:30,842 Except for one huge piece of information I uncovered. 497 00:20:30,844 --> 00:20:33,211 Nori doesn't like Phil Ricozzi. 498 00:20:33,213 --> 00:20:35,414 She doesn't? God, that's great. 499 00:20:35,416 --> 00:20:37,516 That's one huge rival eliminated. 500 00:20:37,518 --> 00:20:41,153 Yeah, now there's no one left standing in your way, little bro. 501 00:20:41,155 --> 00:20:42,521 No one at all. 502 00:20:54,514 --> 00:20:56,268 Oh, crap. 503 00:20:57,269 --> 00:20:59,269 - synced and corrected by sot26 - www.addic7ed.com 37134

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