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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:01:00,153 --> 00:01:04,471 There's a country in the world that is hard to place. 2 00:01:04,593 --> 00:01:06,591 It's the furthest south of the northern ones 3 00:01:06,752 --> 00:01:08,671 or the furthest north of the southern ones. 4 00:01:08,791 --> 00:01:12,350 It's the poorest of the rich or the richest of the poor. 5 00:01:12,710 --> 00:01:15,029 It's both modern and backward. 6 00:01:16,350 --> 00:01:18,509 Very backward at times. 7 00:01:19,309 --> 00:01:21,148 It has got seas and mountains, 8 00:01:21,349 --> 00:01:23,548 sun and fog. 9 00:01:24,029 --> 00:01:27,387 Maybe it doesn't exist or maybe it's yet to be invented. 10 00:01:29,068 --> 00:01:32,027 Here, in this small mountain village 11 00:01:32,667 --> 00:01:35,666 lives a man blessed by success. 12 00:01:35,867 --> 00:01:37,305 Well, more or less... 13 00:01:37,467 --> 00:01:41,425 He's just a temporary librarian but he's an idol for the idle 14 00:01:41,546 --> 00:01:44,024 because he transforms books into plays. 15 00:01:44,185 --> 00:01:45,864 Who's playing Renzo ? 16 00:01:46,065 --> 00:01:48,623 Renzo looks at Lucia and says: "Will you marry me ?" 17 00:01:49,904 --> 00:01:52,343 Yes, my darling, I'll be yours forever. 18 00:01:52,824 --> 00:01:54,862 Luckily he's Renzo, so look at him. 19 00:01:55,583 --> 00:01:58,221 Also because I'm Don Rodrigo ! 20 00:01:58,703 --> 00:02:00,741 But at the best part 21 00:02:01,062 --> 00:02:03,501 Peppino, it's late, we have to go. 22 00:02:03,702 --> 00:02:06,860 It's was 3:00 a minute ago, we were having fun. 23 00:02:07,061 --> 00:02:10,940 "The Betrothed" are almost ready. On Monday we'll begin "Moby Dick". 24 00:02:11,061 --> 00:02:14,419 We need... Who wants to be the White Whale ? 25 00:02:14,620 --> 00:02:17,978 Ivana, no offence meant... Have you got a white dress ? 26 00:02:18,139 --> 00:02:21,338 It's always me ! First Madam Mim, now Moby Dick... 27 00:02:21,859 --> 00:02:24,497 Until the authorities arrived. - Hello Peppino. 28 00:02:24,698 --> 00:02:26,056 Councillor ! 29 00:02:27,138 --> 00:02:29,856 This is not joking matter, I've got bad news. 30 00:02:30,018 --> 00:02:32,775 - Cuts are being made. - So what's new ? That's all you do ! 31 00:02:32,897 --> 00:02:34,895 You made cuts on heating, on toilet paper, 32 00:02:35,056 --> 00:02:38,775 our most modern books are "The Odyssey" and "The Constitution". 33 00:02:38,896 --> 00:02:41,974 - What else will you cut ? - The library's closing. 34 00:02:42,135 --> 00:02:43,214 What ? 35 00:02:43,415 --> 00:02:45,614 - The regional council said so. - Talk to them. 36 00:02:45,814 --> 00:02:49,333 - They blame the cuts on Rome. - What do they say in Rome ? 37 00:02:49,454 --> 00:02:51,693 It's Europe, it's Europe 38 00:02:51,853 --> 00:02:56,052 We have to keep telling people that Europe is making the cuts, or... 39 00:02:56,173 --> 00:02:58,331 Filthy swine ! 40 00:02:58,452 --> 00:03:00,251 Jerk ! 41 00:03:00,972 --> 00:03:03,451 - What did I do ? - Aren't you a politician ? 42 00:03:03,971 --> 00:03:05,410 Yes. 43 00:03:10,410 --> 00:03:12,729 Europe wants technicians, 44 00:03:13,929 --> 00:03:16,528 Italy wants new faces. 45 00:03:17,849 --> 00:03:22,087 Doctor, my son is ashamed to say that I work in Parliament. 46 00:03:22,208 --> 00:03:25,087 He told his schoolmates I run a nightclub. 47 00:03:25,207 --> 00:03:27,686 All right, that's all for today. 48 00:03:27,847 --> 00:03:30,326 That's 1 00 euros, do you want a receipt ? 49 00:03:30,487 --> 00:03:32,165 Of course, 50 00:03:32,646 --> 00:03:37,084 write "office supplies for the Ministry", as usual. 51 00:03:37,685 --> 00:03:40,884 - Good morning, sir. - To oppose this political apathy... 52 00:03:41,045 --> 00:03:44,883 - Good morning, dear colleagues. - This is a crisis committee. 53 00:03:45,604 --> 00:03:49,802 We were supposed to elect the President of the Republic in May. 54 00:03:50,403 --> 00:03:53,161 It'll snow soon and you're still opposing. 55 00:03:53,402 --> 00:03:56,601 - Us ? It was them ! - Us ? They're to blame ! 56 00:03:56,722 --> 00:03:57,681 Us ? 57 00:03:57,842 --> 00:04:00,720 We want to reach an agreement 58 00:04:00,841 --> 00:04:03,480 in a serene and harmonious way. 59 00:04:06,001 --> 00:04:08,239 A serene and harmonious way. 60 00:04:08,880 --> 00:04:10,878 You total dickhead ! 61 00:04:11,040 --> 00:04:12,598 Go to hell... 62 00:04:17,958 --> 00:04:20,037 Idiot, come here ! 63 00:04:20,277 --> 00:04:23,156 You must tell everyone, got it ? 64 00:04:23,278 --> 00:04:27,076 At the next election we're voting De Gasperi, okay ? 65 00:04:27,477 --> 00:04:30,315 Sir, I think he's dead, or ill. 66 00:04:31,436 --> 00:04:33,115 I'm sure. 67 00:04:35,875 --> 00:04:39,233 Idiot, it's a sign to tell the right that we'll move to the centre, 68 00:04:39,435 --> 00:04:41,993 open up to the left and join those from the north. 69 00:04:42,114 --> 00:04:45,552 An agreement has not been reached for the election of the President 70 00:04:45,673 --> 00:04:48,712 but people are wondering how De Gasperi got 1 8 votes, 71 00:04:48,952 --> 00:04:51,591 Totti 4 and Mr Blobby 1 2. 72 00:04:51,832 --> 00:04:55,991 I didn't interrupt you, I'm talking... 73 00:04:56,152 --> 00:05:00,350 I'm talking so don't interrupt me ! - Please, one at a time ! 74 00:05:00,551 --> 00:05:01,910 Try not to talk over each other. 75 00:05:02,590 --> 00:05:05,629 I won't be president of the club, too much responsibility. 76 00:05:05,750 --> 00:05:09,228 I'm a fishing man, I caught 37 this month ! 77 00:05:09,350 --> 00:05:11,508 Three, I caught the rest ! 78 00:05:11,708 --> 00:05:13,907 Nonsense, Luciano ! 79 00:05:15,828 --> 00:05:17,587 - Dad... - Piero. 80 00:05:17,747 --> 00:05:19,666 - It's official. - What is ? 81 00:05:19,867 --> 00:05:22,066 - You're a failure. - Why ? 82 00:05:22,187 --> 00:05:25,905 You're divorced, you had a shit job and you lost it, 83 00:05:26,026 --> 00:05:28,545 you drive a turquoise FIAT 1 27... 84 00:05:29,626 --> 00:05:31,864 Why are you cooking for these beggars ? 85 00:05:32,025 --> 00:05:33,944 Remember what grandpa used to say ? 86 00:05:34,145 --> 00:05:37,143 Everything that goes around comes around. 87 00:05:37,305 --> 00:05:39,343 Wake up, there's global competition, 88 00:05:39,543 --> 00:05:41,622 time to steal food from the Chinese ! 89 00:05:41,863 --> 00:05:43,862 If you want food, just ask. Morato, the bread ! 90 00:05:44,023 --> 00:05:45,102 Here it is ! 91 00:05:45,702 --> 00:05:48,181 You see ? No Chinese involved ! 92 00:05:50,582 --> 00:05:53,501 I want to give you a great opportunity, take it. 93 00:05:54,341 --> 00:05:57,900 Join me with Gymbo, you're old but I'll vouch for you. 94 00:05:58,261 --> 00:06:01,899 Dad, I made 1 ,850 euros this month 95 00:06:02,100 --> 00:06:05,979 plus the undeclared income, I'll make 2,500. 96 00:06:06,339 --> 00:06:08,378 And I've still got the beggars to go. 97 00:06:09,458 --> 00:06:11,377 No, don't pitch to them ! 98 00:06:11,618 --> 00:06:14,577 - Shut up and cook. - It's the Carp Diem lunch. 99 00:06:14,858 --> 00:06:15,817 Ladies and gentlemen ! 100 00:06:16,658 --> 00:06:20,856 I've known you since I was a kid, and one thing is certain, 101 00:06:20,976 --> 00:06:23,615 you don't live or eat well. 102 00:06:24,096 --> 00:06:28,055 You're unhappy with your bodies and minds. 103 00:06:28,176 --> 00:06:31,414 - No... - But here's the solution: Gymbo Gym. 104 00:06:31,654 --> 00:06:34,253 And your body becomes a gym ! 105 00:06:40,413 --> 00:06:42,692 Gymbo One, defines your biceps ! 106 00:06:42,813 --> 00:06:45,291 Gymbo Two, triceps and inner thighs. 107 00:06:45,453 --> 00:06:47,971 Gymbo Three, lats and flexor muscles. 108 00:06:48,172 --> 00:06:50,931 For 4,000 euros I'll give you 200 pieces to sell. 109 00:06:51,331 --> 00:06:56,249 It's the Gymbo utopia, anyone can be a top manager ! 110 00:07:06,529 --> 00:07:10,487 We have to send a message to the north and warn the east. 111 00:07:10,608 --> 00:07:13,366 Colleagues, there's nothing else to say, 112 00:07:13,408 --> 00:07:16,286 we have to give a clear signal to the right. 113 00:07:16,407 --> 00:07:20,125 To frighten the centre, we must send a strong signal to the left. 114 00:07:20,246 --> 00:07:22,045 Vote for a united Italy. 115 00:07:22,166 --> 00:07:25,124 Who shall we vote ? Any damn name. 116 00:07:25,845 --> 00:07:27,324 Garibaldi ? 117 00:07:27,525 --> 00:07:28,364 Garibaldi ! 118 00:07:28,525 --> 00:07:30,643 Garibaldi could be an idea. 119 00:07:32,924 --> 00:07:37,522 The elected President of the Republic of Italy is... 120 00:07:38,563 --> 00:07:41,122 Giuseppe Garibaldi. 121 00:07:48,801 --> 00:07:50,960 All three of us will be out of a job. 122 00:07:51,201 --> 00:07:54,679 We have to end this farce and elect a real president. 123 00:07:54,800 --> 00:07:56,959 You think that's easy ? 124 00:07:58,240 --> 00:08:00,199 The vote cannot be annulled. 125 00:08:00,559 --> 00:08:02,358 - Why not ? - Says who ? 126 00:08:02,479 --> 00:08:05,717 The general secretary of the presidency, whose deputy I am. 127 00:08:06,198 --> 00:08:08,357 There are four Giuseppe Garibaldis, 128 00:08:08,597 --> 00:08:11,236 one is 22, one is a Swiss citizen, 129 00:08:11,557 --> 00:08:15,195 one is an ex-con, one is over 50 and is in good standing. 130 00:08:15,557 --> 00:08:17,715 By law he is the president. 131 00:08:18,036 --> 00:08:21,435 So we elected some random person as president ? 132 00:08:21,556 --> 00:08:23,474 Until he renounces in person, yes, 133 00:08:23,715 --> 00:08:26,194 but right now his phone's off. 134 00:08:26,594 --> 00:08:28,513 It appears he's gone fishing. 135 00:08:28,634 --> 00:08:31,113 - Fishing... - For trouts. 136 00:08:31,633 --> 00:08:34,232 I've been a good father, haven't I ? 137 00:08:34,633 --> 00:08:37,951 Even after the divorce, I tried to set a good example, 138 00:08:38,112 --> 00:08:41,111 to instill values... but he became a "Gymbo Jerk" ! 139 00:08:41,351 --> 00:08:42,750 Are you listening ? 140 00:08:42,912 --> 00:08:46,590 You know what it's like to have a son that doesn't share your values ? 141 00:08:46,751 --> 00:08:49,349 Of course, all my three daughters are on diets ! 142 00:08:52,510 --> 00:08:54,069 I've got one ! 143 00:08:55,990 --> 00:08:58,148 It must be two or three kilos ! 144 00:08:58,389 --> 00:09:00,668 Of course, it's a submarine... 145 00:09:01,469 --> 00:09:03,067 Look ! 146 00:09:03,748 --> 00:09:05,467 You giant, come here ! 147 00:09:08,227 --> 00:09:09,426 Grab it ! 148 00:09:12,786 --> 00:09:15,185 What a beauty ! Get the net ! 149 00:09:20,585 --> 00:09:22,584 Here, what a beauty ! 150 00:09:23,464 --> 00:09:25,143 Come here ! 151 00:09:27,904 --> 00:09:30,423 Who is Giuseppe Garibaldi ? 152 00:09:30,903 --> 00:09:34,382 Me, but call me Peppino, my surname agitates me. 153 00:09:35,223 --> 00:09:39,301 Is this a spot check ? My license is up to date. 154 00:09:39,542 --> 00:09:41,060 Oh, the trout ? 155 00:09:41,222 --> 00:09:43,020 I was throwing it back in. 156 00:09:45,181 --> 00:09:46,580 Listen... 157 00:09:46,741 --> 00:09:49,019 you have to come to Rome with us, now. 158 00:09:49,140 --> 00:09:52,739 - Did I win that raffle ? - There's been a mistake, you... 159 00:09:54,779 --> 00:09:56,777 You've been elected... 160 00:09:58,498 --> 00:10:02,097 - How can we say... - You've been elected President... 161 00:10:02,937 --> 00:10:05,576 How did we screw up like this ? 162 00:10:05,817 --> 00:10:08,216 Yes, president of the Carp Diem fishing club. 163 00:10:08,337 --> 00:10:12,295 I've already renounced, too much responsibility, paperwork... 164 00:10:12,535 --> 00:10:15,414 No, you've been elected... 165 00:10:16,735 --> 00:10:19,494 President of the Italian Republic. 166 00:10:34,932 --> 00:10:37,490 Luciano, this is your best prank ever ! 167 00:10:37,612 --> 00:10:40,810 I get it, you're the politicians' doubles. 168 00:10:41,211 --> 00:10:44,330 You really look like them, apart from him, he's uglier. 169 00:10:44,451 --> 00:10:46,089 Captain ! 170 00:10:46,250 --> 00:10:47,809 - General Cavallo. - Big dick ! 171 00:10:48,290 --> 00:10:49,568 President... 172 00:10:49,729 --> 00:10:53,048 They've found a Neapolitan general ! 173 00:10:56,088 --> 00:10:57,887 The bodyguards too ! 174 00:11:01,007 --> 00:11:03,886 Peppino, this isn't a prank. 175 00:11:14,325 --> 00:11:17,683 - You have to turn the job down. - Or NATO will protest, 176 00:11:17,885 --> 00:11:21,283 Germany will isolate us, bonds will fluctuate 177 00:11:21,604 --> 00:11:24,162 and you'd be the ruin of this country. 178 00:11:24,283 --> 00:11:26,441 Nonsense, I was just fishing ! 179 00:11:29,043 --> 00:11:32,321 But... if I have to renounce, then I will. 180 00:11:33,282 --> 00:11:35,080 But first, I have a request. 181 00:11:35,202 --> 00:11:37,000 Come with us, please. 182 00:11:37,361 --> 00:11:38,799 - Luciano ? - Leave him here. 183 00:11:41,560 --> 00:11:43,319 - This way. - The trout... 184 00:11:43,440 --> 00:11:45,638 We'll get you a trout in Rome. 185 00:11:49,239 --> 00:11:50,317 Let's go. 186 00:12:03,997 --> 00:12:07,435 Peppino ! 187 00:12:11,555 --> 00:12:12,754 Trout. 188 00:12:14,515 --> 00:12:16,313 What is your request ? 189 00:12:19,233 --> 00:12:24,031 Yes, maybe you already know, I'm a librarian, 190 00:12:25,353 --> 00:12:27,592 so what I'd really like... 191 00:12:27,752 --> 00:12:30,350 To be the director of the National Library. 192 00:12:31,112 --> 00:12:34,470 The National Library ? Aren't there prerequisites ? 193 00:12:34,671 --> 00:12:37,229 You'd prefer a lyric theatre ? 194 00:12:37,431 --> 00:12:40,109 The Verona Film Festival ? 195 00:12:40,310 --> 00:12:42,828 - You mean Venice. - Whatever, same thing. 196 00:12:43,190 --> 00:12:45,268 Think about the actresses... 197 00:12:46,469 --> 00:12:49,348 So it's true you're dishonest. 198 00:12:49,828 --> 00:12:54,147 Dishonest... when negotiating, you start from the bottom, you know. 199 00:12:54,267 --> 00:12:57,386 I get it, you're a clever man. 200 00:12:57,587 --> 00:13:00,945 Let's forget culture and talk real business. 201 00:13:01,106 --> 00:13:02,785 You know what ? 202 00:13:02,906 --> 00:13:07,304 We'll give you an oil company in Iraq. 203 00:13:07,465 --> 00:13:09,464 Peppino, do you like drilling ? 204 00:13:11,305 --> 00:13:14,983 A nuclear plant project, it's easy, we'll never build it anyway. 205 00:13:15,144 --> 00:13:18,742 Have him design another bridge for the Strait of Messina. 206 00:13:19,223 --> 00:13:23,061 - You can draw, right ? - Listen, I want to go to bed with... 207 00:13:23,182 --> 00:13:25,421 - With who ? - Jot it down. 208 00:13:25,582 --> 00:13:28,581 - Tell me, there's no problem. - With a clear conscience. 209 00:13:30,021 --> 00:13:31,700 One moment. 210 00:13:31,821 --> 00:13:34,460 Clear Constance, Ludmilla Lorenza... 211 00:13:36,140 --> 00:13:38,179 There's no Clear here... 212 00:13:38,379 --> 00:13:41,178 What TV program did we put her in ? 213 00:13:42,379 --> 00:13:43,658 Sorry. 214 00:13:43,819 --> 00:13:47,177 I just wanted to visit the library at the Presidency 215 00:13:47,418 --> 00:13:51,136 but forget it, I want nothing from you. In fact, pull over. 216 00:13:51,498 --> 00:13:54,856 I'd rather go with the bodyguards, if you don't mind. 217 00:13:55,337 --> 00:13:56,296 Thanks. 218 00:14:01,176 --> 00:14:03,135 - This way. - I'm coming with you. 219 00:14:03,255 --> 00:14:05,054 Thugs are better than hyenas. 220 00:14:05,415 --> 00:14:08,653 He's holding a blank check and he wants to rip it up ! 221 00:14:08,775 --> 00:14:13,573 Lucky us, 50 million smartasses and we got the dumbass. 222 00:14:14,893 --> 00:14:17,052 Marcellino, to Rome. 223 00:14:44,048 --> 00:14:45,567 It sure is long ! 224 00:14:45,967 --> 00:14:48,127 Think of an elderly man... 225 00:14:50,527 --> 00:14:52,285 Where are you taking me ? 226 00:14:52,806 --> 00:14:56,165 You look like the chief, the maître, 227 00:14:56,526 --> 00:14:58,444 I need to renounce... 228 00:14:58,646 --> 00:15:02,364 We came via the supplier's entrance but I have nothing to supply. 229 00:15:02,885 --> 00:15:05,004 Welcome, Mr President. 230 00:15:06,844 --> 00:15:10,163 Thank you, but I've already explained that I'm renouncing... 231 00:15:10,324 --> 00:15:14,282 Exactly, until you do you're president in pectore, Art. 76b. 232 00:15:14,762 --> 00:15:17,722 - Pleased to meet you, Janis Clementi. - Hello. 233 00:15:17,883 --> 00:15:19,680 Never offer your hand first 234 00:15:19,882 --> 00:15:23,600 unless it's a head of State or a consul on an official visit. 235 00:15:23,761 --> 00:15:26,279 They didn't tell me... You could've told me. 236 00:15:34,919 --> 00:15:36,957 It's trout, sorry... 237 00:15:37,079 --> 00:15:40,437 I wanted to bring it, but we were in such a hurry... 238 00:15:40,678 --> 00:15:42,357 - Please. - Shall I go in ? 239 00:15:43,438 --> 00:15:44,997 Excuse me. 240 00:16:01,514 --> 00:16:03,353 Do I have to wear a tie ? 241 00:16:03,555 --> 00:16:06,793 I was born with the umbilical cord round my neck, 242 00:16:06,954 --> 00:16:08,632 I feel like vomiting. 243 00:16:08,754 --> 00:16:10,552 Shall we practice your speech ? 244 00:16:10,673 --> 00:16:13,031 No, I told you, I'm renouncing... 245 00:16:13,192 --> 00:16:15,951 Exactly, your resignation speech is tricky, 246 00:16:16,072 --> 00:16:18,230 it'll be the first in Italy's history. 247 00:16:18,432 --> 00:16:19,551 Concentrate. 248 00:16:22,910 --> 00:16:25,669 Fellow Italians... senators and parliamentarians... 249 00:16:25,910 --> 00:16:28,989 In virtue of the great consideration that I have for this role, 250 00:16:29,150 --> 00:16:30,348 I renounce... 251 00:16:30,469 --> 00:16:33,587 Sorry, Mr President, "role" means "presidency". 252 00:16:34,069 --> 00:16:36,667 You have to say it like this: role. 253 00:16:37,508 --> 00:16:40,667 In virtue of the great consideration that I have for this role... 254 00:16:40,867 --> 00:16:42,347 More institutional. 255 00:16:42,468 --> 00:16:44,266 For this role. 256 00:16:44,467 --> 00:16:46,065 Less stiff. 257 00:16:46,267 --> 00:16:47,386 More solemn. 258 00:16:50,626 --> 00:16:52,065 More cheerful. 259 00:16:52,186 --> 00:16:53,384 More spontaneous. 260 00:16:53,505 --> 00:16:57,463 How can I be spontaneous ? I'm like your puppet, Gengis ! 261 00:16:57,584 --> 00:16:59,983 The respect for protocol is fundamental. 262 00:17:06,703 --> 00:17:10,422 In democracy, form is content. 263 00:17:11,382 --> 00:17:17,581 It's not possible. This country only had one credible institution left ! 264 00:17:19,421 --> 00:17:22,539 - Who's he ? - Mr Ranieri, the General Secretary. 265 00:17:31,779 --> 00:17:34,057 Before taking the oath, 266 00:17:34,538 --> 00:17:37,257 the newly elected President 267 00:17:37,418 --> 00:17:40,617 will give his message to the Parliament. 268 00:17:40,777 --> 00:17:42,776 May the assembly be seated, thank you. 269 00:17:42,937 --> 00:17:45,575 It's like a cow bell ! No offence meant... 270 00:17:48,696 --> 00:17:51,455 Parliamentarians and senators, 271 00:17:51,655 --> 00:17:55,733 it's with great excitement that I speak to you 272 00:17:55,855 --> 00:18:00,293 in this assembly which all Italians identify with. 273 00:18:03,053 --> 00:18:07,411 In virtue of the great consideration that I have for this... 274 00:18:09,052 --> 00:18:10,291 role, 275 00:18:11,491 --> 00:18:12,691 I renounce... 276 00:18:13,252 --> 00:18:14,491 Let's go ! 277 00:18:24,449 --> 00:18:27,448 Do you know why hand-fishing is banned ? 278 00:18:28,289 --> 00:18:30,687 Because the trout has no hope. 279 00:18:30,888 --> 00:18:33,527 The trout makes its home in the rocks, 280 00:18:33,688 --> 00:18:36,446 but as it's clever, it always makes two exits, 281 00:18:36,647 --> 00:18:39,406 but the poacher uses two hands and... 282 00:18:41,566 --> 00:18:44,005 You see, those three who are signalling to me, 283 00:18:44,726 --> 00:18:46,725 are leaving me no hope, 284 00:18:46,846 --> 00:18:48,684 as if I were a trout. 285 00:18:49,285 --> 00:18:51,683 - They tried to bribe me earlier... - No, hold on... 286 00:18:51,804 --> 00:18:55,523 Since I said I'll renounce for free, they're happy. 287 00:18:55,724 --> 00:18:58,603 My grandpa always said never give into the dishonest, 288 00:18:59,083 --> 00:19:00,442 so... 289 00:19:02,003 --> 00:19:04,041 I renounce to renouncing. 290 00:19:06,082 --> 00:19:08,000 - I'll be President. - This is a problem... 291 00:19:10,401 --> 00:19:12,880 Three, two, one, clear ! 292 00:19:13,841 --> 00:19:15,080 Mom ! 293 00:19:18,400 --> 00:19:20,239 - Listen, Miss Gianna... - Miss Janis. 294 00:19:21,199 --> 00:19:24,398 We've been walking for hours, how big is this place ? 295 00:19:24,559 --> 00:19:27,317 70,000 square meters, 1 ,200 rooms. 296 00:19:27,678 --> 00:19:30,157 But I'll get lost here, the kitchen is miles away. 297 00:19:31,157 --> 00:19:32,956 What if I get thirsty ? 298 00:19:33,077 --> 00:19:34,996 Champagne ? Whisky ? Rum ? 299 00:19:35,237 --> 00:19:37,116 A herbal digestive ? 300 00:19:37,277 --> 00:19:39,435 Orangeade, beer, Coke, lemonade ? 301 00:19:39,796 --> 00:19:42,315 No, thanks. What if I wanted a coffee ? 302 00:19:42,435 --> 00:19:44,794 Weak coffee, strong coffee, with a shot of spirits or a dash of milk ? 303 00:19:45,555 --> 00:19:48,993 - How do they do that ? - Discreet presence, our specialty. 304 00:19:49,154 --> 00:19:52,593 - Why do they walk funny ? - To avoid turning their backs to you. 305 00:19:53,594 --> 00:19:56,592 - Where are we going ? - To the presidential suites. 306 00:19:56,794 --> 00:19:59,712 I hope those men aren't there, they scare me... 307 00:20:01,153 --> 00:20:03,751 - What are the ones in blue called ? - Pages. 308 00:20:04,112 --> 00:20:06,911 I'm not used to it and... Here's one ! 309 00:20:08,071 --> 00:20:10,030 Congratulatory telegrams, 310 00:20:10,231 --> 00:20:13,230 the presidents ofAmerica, Germany, India, San Marino... 311 00:20:13,710 --> 00:20:15,189 And that one ? 312 00:20:15,790 --> 00:20:18,429 It's says: "Friends of Carp Diem". 313 00:20:18,909 --> 00:20:20,948 How silly, look at this ! 314 00:20:21,669 --> 00:20:23,547 I'll put them on ! 315 00:20:44,825 --> 00:20:45,903 President ? 316 00:20:46,024 --> 00:20:48,663 Hello... I didn't even dial 9... 317 00:20:48,904 --> 00:20:51,662 - Are you the concierge ? - Yes president 318 00:20:51,904 --> 00:20:53,702 For breakfast in the morning... 319 00:20:53,824 --> 00:20:55,462 - Excuse me. - Yes president 320 00:21:00,182 --> 00:21:02,061 Hello ? 321 00:21:18,538 --> 00:21:21,297 - Jerk ! - Luciano, are you nuts ? 322 00:21:21,779 --> 00:21:25,097 I've screwed up, I don't know how to be President. 323 00:21:25,218 --> 00:21:28,856 You're a great fisherman, you'll be a great President. 324 00:21:28,977 --> 00:21:31,855 - Says who ? - Us townsfolk. 325 00:21:32,576 --> 00:21:34,015 In that case... 326 00:21:34,216 --> 00:21:35,695 I'll call you tomorrow, bye. 327 00:21:36,536 --> 00:21:40,974 I told you, I give him three days. Mary, soda pop for all ! 328 00:21:43,695 --> 00:21:47,093 The General Secretary is in hospital, I'm acting on his behalf. 329 00:21:47,694 --> 00:21:49,972 I must inform you that the President... 330 00:21:50,093 --> 00:21:52,492 has some difficulty following protocol. 331 00:21:52,973 --> 00:21:54,852 Where are my clothes ? 332 00:22:02,091 --> 00:22:05,330 Cavallo, I know you ! You're Neapolitan ! 333 00:22:05,450 --> 00:22:07,009 Big dick ! 334 00:22:26,207 --> 00:22:28,686 - The flag, Mr President. - It's there. 335 00:22:29,766 --> 00:22:31,805 You have to kiss the flag. 336 00:22:35,566 --> 00:22:38,204 Honour to the President of the Republic ! 337 00:22:41,084 --> 00:22:42,643 Now ? 338 00:22:45,643 --> 00:22:48,722 Oh, tri-coloured flag 339 00:22:50,083 --> 00:22:52,481 My grandpa was in the army ! 340 00:22:52,682 --> 00:22:54,041 - So are you. - Really ? 341 00:22:54,402 --> 00:22:57,280 You're the chief of all the armed forces. 342 00:22:57,482 --> 00:22:58,480 Am I ? 343 00:22:59,162 --> 00:23:01,960 - My grandpa had one of those hats. - Like this one. 344 00:23:03,241 --> 00:23:04,959 - Stop ! - I'm on the list. 345 00:23:05,080 --> 00:23:05,919 There is no list. 346 00:23:06,040 --> 00:23:08,439 - I'm the President's son. - Get out. 347 00:23:08,760 --> 00:23:11,678 You're in great shape, do you use Gymbo Gym ? 348 00:23:17,398 --> 00:23:18,997 Dad, it's me ! 349 00:23:19,197 --> 00:23:22,076 - Piero ! - Where are you going ? 350 00:23:26,876 --> 00:23:28,355 Where are you going ? 351 00:23:30,755 --> 00:23:32,514 What the hell are you doing ? 352 00:23:33,156 --> 00:23:35,154 Mr President ! 353 00:23:36,354 --> 00:23:37,794 Where are you going ? 354 00:23:42,154 --> 00:23:46,832 Our reporter at Parliament has an urgent bulletin. 355 00:23:47,032 --> 00:23:51,711 We're live from Parliament where something strange... 356 00:23:51,872 --> 00:23:53,551 is happening. 357 00:23:53,751 --> 00:23:56,790 The President of the Republic is running with... 358 00:23:56,911 --> 00:23:58,549 I like him a lot. 359 00:23:58,710 --> 00:24:00,349 Go, go ! 360 00:24:03,390 --> 00:24:04,468 Forward ! 361 00:24:11,269 --> 00:24:13,068 Fantastic ! 362 00:24:15,147 --> 00:24:19,186 Well, an oval office sure is fascinating ! 363 00:24:19,587 --> 00:24:22,666 - This is rectangular... - All right, listen. 364 00:24:23,666 --> 00:24:25,665 Where will you put me ? 365 00:24:26,306 --> 00:24:29,664 - Well, there are 1 ,200 rooms... - No, job-wise. 366 00:24:29,865 --> 00:24:33,144 A public office or, commission me a project ! 367 00:24:33,264 --> 00:24:36,143 Something that'll never be built, like the bridge in Messina. 368 00:24:36,984 --> 00:24:38,663 - You sound like them. - Who's them ? 369 00:24:38,784 --> 00:24:40,102 You're a child of these politics ! 370 00:24:40,223 --> 00:24:43,661 20 years of television politics have rotted your brain ! 371 00:24:45,703 --> 00:24:47,181 Bravo. 372 00:24:47,662 --> 00:24:51,380 The passionate tone works, but you need to work on your posture. 373 00:24:51,501 --> 00:24:54,580 - Strengthen your back muscles. - I'm being serious. 374 00:24:54,741 --> 00:24:58,059 I've been President for one day and already you want a leg-up. 375 00:24:58,340 --> 00:25:00,739 And you're asking me here ? 376 00:25:17,417 --> 00:25:19,215 - No ! - What is it ? 377 00:25:24,736 --> 00:25:26,774 You're being bugged, how cool ! 378 00:25:26,895 --> 00:25:30,494 I'm not being bugged, I'm angry ! I hate nepotism ! 379 00:25:30,935 --> 00:25:35,293 To avoid nepotism I've turned down millions of opportunities. 380 00:25:35,414 --> 00:25:37,452 - Just the thought suffocates me. - Calm down. 381 00:25:37,573 --> 00:25:40,052 - This is too tight. - Is that better ? 382 00:25:40,413 --> 00:25:45,371 Dad, think about it, you're the President of the Republic ! 383 00:25:48,731 --> 00:25:51,850 Your son can't be a Gymbo Gym salesman. 384 00:25:51,971 --> 00:25:54,370 I don't want you to be one, 385 00:25:55,450 --> 00:25:56,489 but you see... 386 00:25:56,650 --> 00:25:59,169 you have to find your own path. 387 00:25:59,369 --> 00:26:00,328 Enough ! 388 00:26:00,489 --> 00:26:03,448 If you refuse to help me, I'll leave and never come back ! 389 00:26:16,887 --> 00:26:18,725 - A project ? - You decide. 390 00:26:21,005 --> 00:26:24,565 I can't, I'd rather resign than use favouritism. 391 00:26:35,283 --> 00:26:36,562 Piero... 392 00:26:38,162 --> 00:26:41,881 NATO, banks, freemasons, great powers... 393 00:26:42,681 --> 00:26:45,681 they're all asking why we elected him ! 394 00:26:46,041 --> 00:26:48,080 My housekeeper asked me too ! 395 00:26:49,560 --> 00:26:51,319 Listen... 396 00:26:52,040 --> 00:26:54,839 can't we say we made a mistake ? 397 00:26:55,039 --> 00:26:57,478 To my housekeeper yes but not to NATO ! 398 00:26:57,719 --> 00:26:59,238 Enough ! 399 00:26:59,398 --> 00:27:03,437 In this country there's only one law that's never been broken. 400 00:27:03,919 --> 00:27:07,037 To be a politician, you have to be blackmailable. 401 00:27:07,198 --> 00:27:10,156 We need to know your price, how long your leash is... 402 00:27:10,317 --> 00:27:12,835 Otherwise, we can't control you 403 00:27:13,077 --> 00:27:15,195 therefore we don't want you. 404 00:27:15,356 --> 00:27:17,115 It's a question of coherence. 405 00:27:17,276 --> 00:27:19,075 We have to get rid of him. 406 00:27:19,276 --> 00:27:21,714 We have to apply a strong political strategy. 407 00:27:22,675 --> 00:27:24,233 Such as ? 408 00:27:25,394 --> 00:27:26,833 Drag him through the shit. 409 00:27:26,955 --> 00:27:28,513 PRESIDENT OR LAUGHING STOCK ? 410 00:27:28,674 --> 00:27:29,992 AN EMBARRASSING SHOW 411 00:27:30,194 --> 00:27:31,912 THE WORLD IS LAUGHING AT US 412 00:27:32,033 --> 00:27:33,112 THE PRESIDENT'S IDEA 413 00:27:33,313 --> 00:27:34,992 THE MILITARY PRESIDENT 414 00:27:41,992 --> 00:27:45,310 Mr President, your debut was somewhat naive. 415 00:27:45,591 --> 00:27:47,750 Your popularity has decreased to 25%. 416 00:27:47,870 --> 00:27:50,109 - People say you're unsuitable. - They're right. 417 00:27:50,270 --> 00:27:52,188 But I'm learning slowly. 418 00:27:52,430 --> 00:27:53,988 Soda pop ! 419 00:27:57,948 --> 00:27:59,227 No. 420 00:27:59,388 --> 00:28:02,267 No, we have to respond to this. 421 00:28:02,468 --> 00:28:05,347 It says I earn 239,000 euros a year ! 422 00:28:07,507 --> 00:28:10,025 That's what you earn, Mr President. 423 00:28:10,147 --> 00:28:12,425 When did I sign this contract ? 424 00:28:12,586 --> 00:28:17,385 It's not a contract, it's the 1 985 law, number 74... 425 00:28:17,625 --> 00:28:19,784 - Let's change the law. - You need a majority vote. 426 00:28:19,904 --> 00:28:21,543 I don't think you'll obtain that. 427 00:28:21,665 --> 00:28:23,263 Why ? 428 00:28:23,464 --> 00:28:25,623 If they lower your salary, 429 00:28:25,744 --> 00:28:27,663 they'll have to lower theirs too. 430 00:28:30,183 --> 00:28:32,142 And ours too. 431 00:28:32,262 --> 00:28:34,781 I don't want all that money, I don't need it. 432 00:28:34,902 --> 00:28:37,061 There's a recession, people are struggling. 433 00:28:37,262 --> 00:28:40,900 My friend Luciano supports 3 kids with 1 ,400 euros a month. 434 00:28:41,021 --> 00:28:45,699 If he knows I earn that much, what'll I say ? 435 00:28:46,020 --> 00:28:48,818 You tell me, you're a communications expert. 436 00:28:51,699 --> 00:28:55,857 Luciano's my mate, imagine when I'd ask him what to say to Putin. 437 00:28:56,938 --> 00:28:58,897 Morelli, the communications expert. 438 00:29:01,617 --> 00:29:05,016 I know you were recently fired... I read it in the papers, yes. 439 00:29:05,737 --> 00:29:09,335 Can I give you 1 ,000 euros a month until you find a job ? 440 00:29:09,456 --> 00:29:11,495 Good morning, listen... 441 00:29:11,855 --> 00:29:14,254 I'm rich... 442 00:29:15,055 --> 00:29:18,053 I'll prove life is good, give me your bank details. 443 00:29:23,133 --> 00:29:27,212 I hope for a greater collaboration between our two countries. 444 00:29:31,733 --> 00:29:34,251 We've read this wad of paper for an hour, 445 00:29:34,412 --> 00:29:37,410 can you ask him if he prefers pizza or spaghetti ? 446 00:29:49,129 --> 00:29:53,007 They agree with the UN's intervention in the zone 447 00:29:53,208 --> 00:29:55,967 to resolve the problem on a global level. 448 00:29:57,768 --> 00:29:59,806 If I'm talking bullshit, say so ! 449 00:30:03,207 --> 00:30:04,405 No, don't say it... 450 00:30:04,607 --> 00:30:06,925 PRESIDENT INSULTS THE EMIR 451 00:30:07,126 --> 00:30:09,204 TIME TO RESIGN 452 00:30:10,605 --> 00:30:13,484 The best is yet to come, my dear colleagues, 453 00:30:13,645 --> 00:30:16,483 listen to this, the President's rap ! 454 00:30:16,644 --> 00:30:19,283 It's a hit all over Italy ! 455 00:30:19,483 --> 00:30:30,521 If I'm talking bullshit, say so 456 00:30:31,042 --> 00:30:32,680 Say so, so 457 00:30:32,842 --> 00:30:34,640 It's brilliant ! 458 00:30:37,840 --> 00:30:42,559 You can't tell me that I have to stroke a child's head, 459 00:30:42,760 --> 00:30:44,478 I know how to talk to kids ! 460 00:30:44,599 --> 00:30:48,438 - Children can be unpredictable... - Can you be quiet for a moment ? 461 00:30:52,958 --> 00:30:56,116 - Good morning, children. - Good morning, Mr President ! 462 00:30:58,117 --> 00:31:00,676 - Son, what year are you in ? - Year three. 463 00:31:00,797 --> 00:31:03,555 You've got a girlfriend, what's her name ? 464 00:31:03,996 --> 00:31:06,315 Arturo, I'm a boy. 465 00:31:07,755 --> 00:31:09,074 Each to their own. 466 00:31:09,275 --> 00:31:12,553 It happens in nature, males sometimes mate... 467 00:31:12,755 --> 00:31:14,473 I mean, in the sense... 468 00:31:14,594 --> 00:31:18,192 Some fish are born male but then end up female... 469 00:31:18,313 --> 00:31:20,232 they reproduce by... 470 00:31:21,793 --> 00:31:23,432 It's parthenogenesis... 471 00:31:23,952 --> 00:31:26,431 Your science teacher will explain... 472 00:31:26,592 --> 00:31:29,791 Not now, when you're in class... 473 00:31:29,951 --> 00:31:31,990 She will explain... 474 00:31:32,231 --> 00:31:34,590 It's not autoeroticism, but... 475 00:31:35,710 --> 00:31:36,749 Arturo... 476 00:31:36,911 --> 00:31:38,829 Why do they write these things ? 477 00:31:40,030 --> 00:31:42,548 I told you to stick to the text. 478 00:31:42,789 --> 00:31:45,628 - Did you sign the law bill ? - No, it's incomprehensible. 479 00:31:45,868 --> 00:31:48,307 - We've already checked it. - So I sign and you check ? 480 00:31:48,508 --> 00:31:50,946 - That's protocol, but as you wish. - It's incomprehensible. 481 00:31:51,148 --> 00:31:53,227 That's why we check it. 482 00:31:53,427 --> 00:31:55,586 You don't have a boyfriend, do you ? 483 00:31:55,986 --> 00:31:57,426 No. 484 00:32:08,825 --> 00:32:11,463 Good evening. Sit down, let's eat together. 485 00:32:11,584 --> 00:32:13,623 Thank you, sir, but I've eaten. 486 00:32:16,383 --> 00:32:18,382 Tonight I'd like some... 487 00:32:18,743 --> 00:32:20,342 broth, 488 00:32:20,542 --> 00:32:22,261 like yesterday 489 00:32:22,862 --> 00:32:24,741 and the day before. 490 00:32:25,221 --> 00:32:27,140 That's enough, it's plenty... 491 00:32:30,061 --> 00:32:31,379 Good evening. 492 00:32:31,741 --> 00:32:34,339 - What football team do you support ? - The National team. 493 00:32:34,940 --> 00:32:36,178 Of course. 494 00:32:40,499 --> 00:32:43,218 No use in asking you anything... 495 00:32:47,098 --> 00:32:49,697 I know you're sick to death of protocol too. 496 00:32:49,858 --> 00:32:52,136 Well, I'm going to eat a pizza. 497 00:32:58,016 --> 00:32:59,774 You're dead, right ? 498 00:33:06,295 --> 00:33:08,213 Evening, say hi to the President for me. 499 00:33:08,414 --> 00:33:10,452 Yeah, right... dummies... 500 00:33:10,613 --> 00:33:12,893 This square is damn nice ! 501 00:33:15,293 --> 00:33:16,931 Do you speak Italian ? 502 00:33:17,172 --> 00:33:18,971 You should say "si" then. 503 00:33:19,132 --> 00:33:20,411 The tempura's freezing ! 504 00:33:20,572 --> 00:33:23,770 Listen, do you know of a good pizzeria ? 505 00:33:26,811 --> 00:33:28,370 Cool, what are they ? 506 00:33:28,611 --> 00:33:31,129 - "Lolablades". - Can I buy some ? 507 00:33:31,370 --> 00:33:32,528 - Yes. - Where ? 508 00:33:32,690 --> 00:33:34,249 - Yes ! - Forget it ! 509 00:33:34,449 --> 00:33:35,408 Yes ! 510 00:33:37,209 --> 00:33:39,168 I'm supposed to approve laws I don't understand. 511 00:33:39,289 --> 00:33:41,767 Not that you understand either... 512 00:33:41,928 --> 00:33:44,407 You understand ? Do you ? 513 00:33:45,768 --> 00:33:47,326 Sorry, sorry, sorry 514 00:33:49,687 --> 00:33:51,725 You are the President ! 515 00:33:51,886 --> 00:33:53,206 No... 516 00:33:54,006 --> 00:33:55,844 - You are. - No... 517 00:33:56,046 --> 00:33:59,324 - He's the President. - Not all bald guys are president ! 518 00:33:59,526 --> 00:34:01,603 He's the spitting image ! 519 00:34:02,925 --> 00:34:04,963 Grab a chair, sit down. 520 00:34:06,124 --> 00:34:07,963 That's the President ! 521 00:34:08,164 --> 00:34:10,242 Excuse me, may I ? 522 00:34:10,443 --> 00:34:13,482 - The waiter says he's the President. - In a pizzeria ? 523 00:34:13,723 --> 00:34:16,601 Mr President ! Join us, come on ! 524 00:34:16,842 --> 00:34:18,040 Come on, Mr President ! 525 00:34:18,282 --> 00:34:21,400 Peppino ! Peppino ! 526 00:34:26,320 --> 00:34:28,839 Has everyone read it ? All of you ? 527 00:34:29,080 --> 00:34:31,358 - Yes ! - Hands up if you understood it ! 528 00:34:32,519 --> 00:34:34,958 Hands up if you didn't ! 529 00:34:35,079 --> 00:34:38,637 My grandpa used to say: "If in doubt, don't sign." 530 00:34:38,758 --> 00:34:40,077 Right ! 531 00:34:40,238 --> 00:34:44,197 If we don't understand the laws, how can we follow them ? 532 00:34:44,317 --> 00:34:48,716 Until the law is clear, I refuse to sign ! 533 00:34:49,956 --> 00:34:53,075 This President's cool, I'll put this on Facebook ! 534 00:34:54,595 --> 00:34:56,074 General, I'm coming ! 535 00:34:56,195 --> 00:34:59,913 A pizza and a beer ! I've got the receipt ! 536 00:35:00,395 --> 00:35:03,353 I swear I won't do it again, but don't tell Miss Janis. 537 00:35:09,273 --> 00:35:12,592 - Is everything okay ? - No, I'm out of wine. 538 00:35:14,912 --> 00:35:17,791 He's burning up... Give me a hand, come on. 539 00:35:19,831 --> 00:35:21,630 Mr President, what are you doing ? 540 00:35:21,830 --> 00:35:24,469 I've got loads of rooms, I'm taking him home. 541 00:35:24,630 --> 00:35:26,509 I can't let him freeze to death. 542 00:35:26,670 --> 00:35:29,668 - We don't even know who he is ! - What's your name ? 543 00:35:29,789 --> 00:35:31,908 - Boozer. - Now we know. 544 00:35:37,428 --> 00:35:39,826 It's warm in here... 545 00:35:41,507 --> 00:35:43,346 - Tony... - Who's Tony ? 546 00:35:43,587 --> 00:35:46,945 Tony is a dear friend of mine who has pneumonia, 547 00:35:47,146 --> 00:35:49,905 and in this cold, Tony will end up... 548 00:35:52,705 --> 00:35:54,464 General ? 549 00:35:54,625 --> 00:35:56,663 Mr President... 550 00:36:05,542 --> 00:36:08,782 - Is it good ? - Can I have something stronger ? 551 00:36:08,982 --> 00:36:10,941 Boozer, go easy. 552 00:36:11,062 --> 00:36:13,100 I saw Linda, she's in a bad way. 553 00:36:13,302 --> 00:36:16,220 - She's under the bridge by the river. - Who's Linda ? 554 00:36:19,540 --> 00:36:22,939 You shouldn't have discharged yourself until you were well. 555 00:36:23,779 --> 00:36:26,618 The President's getting better, he's more formal. 556 00:36:27,259 --> 00:36:31,217 In fact, I think he's starting to like protocol. 557 00:36:34,218 --> 00:36:36,617 Goddammit, it stinks of shit. 558 00:36:40,096 --> 00:36:44,295 Janis, who are these tramps ? 559 00:36:44,496 --> 00:36:48,015 Who are you ! We're friends of Peppino ! 560 00:36:49,575 --> 00:36:50,654 Mom ! 561 00:36:52,815 --> 00:36:56,173 - President, this is unacceptable ! - What's the problem ? 562 00:36:56,294 --> 00:36:59,373 - It was just a heartfelt gesture. - It's happened before. 563 00:36:59,534 --> 00:37:03,372 President Saragat took in earthquake victims who stayed for 22 years. 564 00:37:03,493 --> 00:37:06,851 - It's warmer today, they can go. - You think that solves things ? 565 00:37:07,092 --> 00:37:11,530 Your acts of bravado can have a devastating effect. 566 00:37:11,651 --> 00:37:13,530 It's a huge success ! 567 00:37:13,571 --> 00:37:15,810 The video on "You Reporter"... 568 00:37:17,290 --> 00:37:20,408 It's a huge success, congratulations ! 569 00:37:20,610 --> 00:37:23,648 - It's been shared by thousands. - What has ? 570 00:37:23,849 --> 00:37:27,687 - The video of your proposal. - What proposal ? 571 00:37:27,809 --> 00:37:30,247 The one you made in the pizzeria, 91 % like it. 572 00:37:30,368 --> 00:37:31,926 - Grand slam ! - Meaning ? 573 00:37:32,128 --> 00:37:35,366 - On the TV news ! - Tell me what's going on ! 574 00:37:35,527 --> 00:37:38,286 Later, the President has interviews to do. 575 00:37:38,406 --> 00:37:40,925 Consensus is at 31 % and rising. 576 00:37:42,006 --> 00:37:44,525 You finish this, grazing is relaxing. 577 00:37:48,565 --> 00:37:51,003 President ! Wait ! 578 00:39:00,832 --> 00:39:02,591 Mr President ! 579 00:39:21,948 --> 00:39:23,507 Mr President... 580 00:39:25,988 --> 00:39:27,946 What are you doing ? 581 00:39:36,305 --> 00:39:38,745 We've been looking for you. 582 00:39:39,225 --> 00:39:42,903 - It's my end of year speech tonight. - It's November 1 0th. 583 00:39:44,944 --> 00:39:46,783 You're such a stickler, Miss Jarvis ! 584 00:39:47,504 --> 00:39:49,303 Come on, get to work ! 585 00:39:49,903 --> 00:39:52,902 Ladies, gentlemen, children, 586 00:39:53,143 --> 00:39:55,422 this is my end of year speech. 587 00:39:55,542 --> 00:39:57,542 I know, it's not the end of the year, 588 00:39:57,702 --> 00:40:00,700 but I couldn't wait to tell you what I've found out. 589 00:40:00,902 --> 00:40:03,700 I've found out that for every problem we have, 590 00:40:03,821 --> 00:40:05,860 there has been a solution, for years. 591 00:40:05,981 --> 00:40:08,739 Certain experts and associations wrote them 592 00:40:08,860 --> 00:40:11,978 but for years they've been hidden away, forgotten by all. 593 00:40:12,099 --> 00:40:15,938 I'll start with an interesting one: "End food wastage". 594 00:40:16,179 --> 00:40:18,058 Give me a sausage ! 595 00:40:18,219 --> 00:40:20,617 It was sent by Luciana from Palermo. 596 00:40:20,818 --> 00:40:22,776 The food we throw away in one year 597 00:40:22,898 --> 00:40:27,176 could feed 4 million people in the world for free. 598 00:40:27,297 --> 00:40:28,535 She explains how. 599 00:40:28,777 --> 00:40:32,215 Today we'll talk about a tax reform to make everyone pay taxes, 600 00:40:32,496 --> 00:40:35,615 as proposed by Professor Fusco from the University of Bologna. 601 00:40:35,815 --> 00:40:38,974 This one's great, how to create resources, 602 00:40:39,215 --> 00:40:42,413 this proposal suggests cutting 20% of military costs 603 00:40:42,534 --> 00:40:44,453 without reducing our defence system. 604 00:40:45,413 --> 00:40:48,332 Incentivise green housing with no cost for the State. 605 00:40:48,534 --> 00:40:51,052 All empty houses should be seized 606 00:40:51,172 --> 00:40:55,171 and offered to the homeless at market prices. 607 00:40:55,372 --> 00:40:57,210 Municipal property tax... 608 00:40:57,412 --> 00:41:00,450 everyone pays this, of course... ladies, lords, monsignors... 609 00:41:00,651 --> 00:41:05,130 These are some law proposals, if you like them, and I think you do, 610 00:41:05,250 --> 00:41:08,369 you can sign a petition for Parliament to approve them. 611 00:41:09,809 --> 00:41:11,488 It's almost New Year... 612 00:41:11,969 --> 00:41:16,167 1 ,200 citizen committees support "The Project Hub". 613 00:41:16,369 --> 00:41:20,727 84 constitutionalists signed the "Clear Laws" proposal. 614 00:41:20,848 --> 00:41:23,366 Guys, this is no joke ! 615 00:41:23,487 --> 00:41:26,086 Our army was invited to star in a Broadway musical. 616 00:41:26,247 --> 00:41:29,245 No, gentlemen, this guy isn't alone, 617 00:41:29,926 --> 00:41:32,444 he's got sophisticated minds behind him. 618 00:41:32,605 --> 00:41:36,084 Who, the CIA, the Freemasons, the great powers ? Who ? 619 00:41:36,284 --> 00:41:38,004 - The mafia ! - No, not the mafia. 620 00:41:38,204 --> 00:41:40,643 This morning they said they oppose him. 621 00:41:42,764 --> 00:41:45,043 I heard them on the radio. 622 00:41:50,202 --> 00:41:52,521 Where the hell is it ? 623 00:41:56,562 --> 00:41:58,280 Who is it ? 624 00:42:00,880 --> 00:42:02,479 Of course... yes, sir. 625 00:42:04,280 --> 00:42:05,319 Whenever you want. 626 00:42:05,479 --> 00:42:06,799 Yes, sir. 627 00:42:10,759 --> 00:42:13,398 The great powers want to see us. 628 00:42:16,757 --> 00:42:19,276 Shit, not the great powers... 629 00:42:19,837 --> 00:42:21,396 Let's go. 630 00:42:41,114 --> 00:42:44,912 - You're behind the president. - We know. 631 00:42:46,112 --> 00:42:49,231 Why do you think that we're behind the President ? 632 00:42:49,872 --> 00:42:53,350 Because his projects would resolve Italy's problems. 633 00:42:53,551 --> 00:42:56,470 We've always profited from Italy's problems. 634 00:42:56,591 --> 00:42:59,229 It's our main resource. 635 00:42:59,430 --> 00:43:02,349 They are an essential resource for us too. 636 00:43:02,549 --> 00:43:05,588 Without wastage, how do you keep your clientele ? 637 00:43:05,789 --> 00:43:07,828 Without disasters to resolve 638 00:43:08,468 --> 00:43:11,547 what can we promise the electorate ? 639 00:43:13,227 --> 00:43:17,466 - You caused this problem. - You have to make him resign. 640 00:43:17,947 --> 00:43:19,746 But how ? 641 00:43:20,707 --> 00:43:22,825 Consensus is 72% in his favour. 642 00:43:23,346 --> 00:43:26,584 Yes, but you have the Secret Services, bribe them. 643 00:43:26,705 --> 00:43:28,624 They're used to it anyway. 644 00:43:28,825 --> 00:43:30,903 Ask for Fausto. 645 00:43:34,864 --> 00:43:36,383 Excuse me... thank you. 646 00:43:53,700 --> 00:43:55,619 Sorry about the place, 647 00:43:55,981 --> 00:43:58,019 but the city is full of bugs. 648 00:43:59,940 --> 00:44:02,098 Nice to meet you, I'm Fausto. 649 00:44:02,219 --> 00:44:06,057 Were you in charge of the side-tracking at the massacre... 650 00:44:06,259 --> 00:44:10,377 Yes, side-tracking was my specialty. 651 00:44:10,977 --> 00:44:13,376 We just wanted to... 652 00:44:13,497 --> 00:44:17,056 Lead the President to an impeachment, I know. 653 00:44:18,496 --> 00:44:22,015 To eliminate a president, there are two schools: 654 00:44:22,335 --> 00:44:26,934 the old-fashioned one, suicide or accident, 655 00:44:27,375 --> 00:44:30,053 and the modern one, slander. 656 00:44:30,774 --> 00:44:32,813 Slander, it's cleaner ! 657 00:44:34,733 --> 00:44:37,332 Slander is my speciality. 658 00:44:37,733 --> 00:44:41,051 In this country, on average people have... 659 00:44:41,452 --> 00:44:43,611 four skeletons in their cupboard. 660 00:44:44,332 --> 00:44:47,290 Not him, he's got absolutely nothing. 661 00:44:47,891 --> 00:44:51,529 I followed him, turned him inside out, but found nothing. 662 00:44:51,730 --> 00:44:53,929 Nothing, until... 663 00:44:54,050 --> 00:44:57,848 I listened to one of his calls yesterday. 664 00:45:03,409 --> 00:45:06,167 Sir, you should read this bulletin. 665 00:45:07,447 --> 00:45:09,286 No ! 666 00:45:09,727 --> 00:45:11,926 Goddammit ! 667 00:45:12,127 --> 00:45:16,125 These shoes were handmade, they cost me 3,000 euros ! 668 00:45:29,204 --> 00:45:31,003 This bulletin is crap, 669 00:45:31,203 --> 00:45:34,322 I'll clean my shoes with this, in fact, you know what ? 670 00:45:34,483 --> 00:45:36,842 You do it. Go on ! 671 00:45:37,003 --> 00:45:39,641 I don't clean up shit. I refuse. 672 00:45:46,361 --> 00:45:51,639 Yesterday, the President spoke to a girl... 673 00:45:52,200 --> 00:45:53,439 Go ! 674 00:45:54,040 --> 00:45:58,478 With a girl who used to visit his library when he worked there 675 00:45:59,519 --> 00:46:02,437 and now she works in nightclubs. 676 00:46:02,678 --> 00:46:06,036 - Get some champagne, let's celebrate. - And wash your hands. 677 00:46:06,717 --> 00:46:07,916 Listen. 678 00:46:08,677 --> 00:46:12,235 Peppino, I need 5,000 euros, for butt implants. 679 00:46:12,397 --> 00:46:17,195 Yes, but in exchange I want you know what... 680 00:46:17,316 --> 00:46:21,353 Oh, that's all you think about... Let's speak tomorrow. 681 00:46:21,475 --> 00:46:23,074 - Okay. - Come at 3:00. 682 00:46:27,874 --> 00:46:30,272 You look nice dressed as the President ! 683 00:46:30,473 --> 00:46:33,232 You look nice... dressed. 684 00:46:34,112 --> 00:46:36,231 - Coffee ? - Okay. 685 00:46:37,472 --> 00:46:39,350 Take a coffee break. 686 00:46:42,231 --> 00:46:43,709 A long one. 687 00:46:45,151 --> 00:46:46,830 Nice and hot. 688 00:46:47,030 --> 00:46:48,509 - With cream? - Yes. 689 00:46:49,230 --> 00:46:50,909 - Do you want sugar ? - Yes. 690 00:46:55,429 --> 00:46:57,508 I usually take two sugars. 691 00:46:57,868 --> 00:47:00,706 Well ? Can you give me 5,000 euros ? 692 00:47:01,228 --> 00:47:02,626 It's here, 693 00:47:02,787 --> 00:47:05,506 but you know what I want first. 694 00:47:06,147 --> 00:47:08,985 I've been asking you since you were 1 6. 695 00:47:11,786 --> 00:47:14,744 Why do I need a high school diploma ? 696 00:47:15,385 --> 00:47:18,104 Because you were reading Foscolo at 9. 697 00:47:18,264 --> 00:47:19,064 Who ? 698 00:47:20,624 --> 00:47:23,623 Peppino, why are you doing this ? 699 00:47:24,944 --> 00:47:26,542 Don't you like me ? 700 00:47:26,663 --> 00:47:30,221 Of course I do, if I could I'd shag that poster of you ! 701 00:47:32,262 --> 00:47:34,541 Why do I have to go to school ? 702 00:47:36,142 --> 00:47:38,261 Let's go to bed, okay ? 703 00:47:40,060 --> 00:47:44,259 No, you want the money, this is business, not sex. It's sad. 704 00:47:44,420 --> 00:47:45,979 Damn you ! 705 00:47:46,180 --> 00:47:47,859 Go to hell ! 706 00:47:48,019 --> 00:47:49,219 Fuck you ! 707 00:47:49,579 --> 00:47:51,698 I'll get my diploma. 708 00:47:51,858 --> 00:47:55,417 I've been missing Foscolo. 709 00:47:55,539 --> 00:47:57,257 Who is Foscolo ? 710 00:47:57,378 --> 00:48:00,976 Months and months of tapped calls and this is the result ! 711 00:48:01,697 --> 00:48:03,016 In fact, 712 00:48:03,137 --> 00:48:06,935 if these recordings get out, he'll look like a saint. 713 00:48:07,096 --> 00:48:09,735 - And you'll be in the shit. - Can't you do something ? 714 00:48:09,856 --> 00:48:13,214 If there's no skeleton in his cupboard, I'll put one there. 715 00:48:13,335 --> 00:48:15,694 That's how Mr Fausto works. 716 00:48:17,615 --> 00:48:19,533 They're hungry. 717 00:48:22,814 --> 00:48:25,772 In this truly unprecedented case... 718 00:48:25,933 --> 00:48:29,132 the inverted tapped calls have worked in favour 719 00:48:29,652 --> 00:48:32,011 of our President of the Republic. 720 00:48:32,171 --> 00:48:34,451 - Let's listen. - You were fired, 721 00:48:34,571 --> 00:48:38,049 I'll give you 1 ,000 euros a month until you find a job. 722 00:48:38,251 --> 00:48:41,009 I'd rather resign than show favouritism to my son. 723 00:48:41,170 --> 00:48:42,809 This must be a joke ! 724 00:48:42,970 --> 00:48:44,849 I've never seen a politician 725 00:48:45,010 --> 00:48:48,008 that gives away money instead of stealing it ! 726 00:48:48,208 --> 00:48:50,167 Is he really a politician ? 727 00:48:57,127 --> 00:49:00,845 Peppino ! Peppino ! 728 00:49:04,166 --> 00:49:05,484 What are you doing ? 729 00:49:05,646 --> 00:49:08,485 I spend millions on posters when all it takes 730 00:49:08,645 --> 00:49:10,444 is giving money to the poor ! 731 00:49:10,565 --> 00:49:13,763 No, monsignor, I was wondering... 732 00:49:14,284 --> 00:49:17,643 do you happen to know any poor people ? 733 00:49:17,843 --> 00:49:20,602 Natasha, your brother's no good, he's got a Porsche. 734 00:49:22,202 --> 00:49:25,762 Even if he's got debts in Ukraine, he's no good. 735 00:49:26,282 --> 00:49:28,161 Ukraine, the Ukraine... 736 00:49:29,242 --> 00:49:31,081 With Gymbo, it's up you go 737 00:49:31,321 --> 00:49:33,120 Every day, you will know 738 00:49:33,321 --> 00:49:34,679 With Gymbo, you'll do more 739 00:49:34,881 --> 00:49:37,199 You'll be better, that's for sure 740 00:49:42,119 --> 00:49:44,278 Piero, what is this ? 741 00:49:45,439 --> 00:49:48,078 "Dear Colonel, Gymbo Gym gives you iron muscles 742 00:49:48,198 --> 00:49:50,996 and boosts soldiers' egos." With an apostrophe too. 743 00:49:51,957 --> 00:49:55,076 "Once you've tried it, I'm sure you'll order thousands 744 00:49:55,197 --> 00:49:59,155 to help Italy and its soldiers." Signed: The President. 745 00:49:59,516 --> 00:50:02,514 Mr President, I wanted to order 2,000 of them. 746 00:50:02,636 --> 00:50:05,355 - 3,000 in fact. - I forbid you, this is forged ! 747 00:50:07,555 --> 00:50:08,874 Exactly. 748 00:50:09,355 --> 00:50:11,513 Dad, it's a prank, you do plenty of them ! 749 00:50:13,434 --> 00:50:16,992 Pranks are used to cheer people up, not to make money. 750 00:50:17,153 --> 00:50:19,912 - Grandpa used to say... - Damn you, and grandpa ! 751 00:50:21,592 --> 00:50:24,711 You help all of Italy, but not your son. You're a shit father. 752 00:50:31,190 --> 00:50:35,349 Mr President, help him, they love it when you help out. 753 00:50:35,510 --> 00:50:38,348 - Right, Major ? - Yes, dad ! 754 00:50:38,869 --> 00:50:40,668 Okay, well... 755 00:50:56,866 --> 00:50:59,144 Luciano Cassetti ? 756 00:50:59,866 --> 00:51:01,264 Yes. 757 00:51:02,945 --> 00:51:04,424 What do you want ? 758 00:51:06,345 --> 00:51:09,823 Report your friend Peppino for having strangled his grandpa. 759 00:51:10,024 --> 00:51:14,623 What ? Peppino's grandpa died from emphysema. 760 00:51:14,743 --> 00:51:19,061 Yes, but Peppino was with him, looking after him. 761 00:51:19,662 --> 00:51:21,941 - Strange, don't you think ? - No. 762 00:51:22,061 --> 00:51:24,100 Peppino loved him and took care of him. 763 00:51:24,462 --> 00:51:27,700 Bullshit, he wanted his inheritance 764 00:51:27,901 --> 00:51:30,819 because he'd fallen in love with Ramona here. 765 00:51:30,941 --> 00:51:34,418 - Tell him what he said. - Peppino always used to say: 766 00:51:34,539 --> 00:51:37,418 "I'll kill my grandpa and buy you a nice house in town." 767 00:51:37,539 --> 00:51:40,058 You see ? We have a witness, 768 00:51:40,418 --> 00:51:44,737 but if some biased judge doesn't believe her 769 00:51:45,298 --> 00:51:47,257 then it'll be your turn, 770 00:51:47,457 --> 00:51:51,336 you've known all along and you're filled with regret. 771 00:51:51,936 --> 00:51:54,775 Peppino's in charge of the country... 772 00:51:55,616 --> 00:51:57,415 - You must tell the truth. - I'll report you ! 773 00:51:57,536 --> 00:52:00,814 Really ? Shall we report you too ? 774 00:52:01,534 --> 00:52:03,934 For selling cattle with no receipts. 775 00:52:04,294 --> 00:52:08,573 False EU refund requests, undocumented workers paid in cash, 776 00:52:08,734 --> 00:52:12,452 - and a pothead daughter. - She's not a pothead ! 777 00:52:15,412 --> 00:52:16,891 Here. 778 00:52:17,252 --> 00:52:19,650 It's all there, take your time. 779 00:52:19,771 --> 00:52:20,930 Look. 780 00:52:21,771 --> 00:52:24,210 Plus, there's the baker's wife. 781 00:52:25,850 --> 00:52:28,289 Your wife'll understand, there's a photo. 782 00:52:28,650 --> 00:52:31,288 And if that's not enough, Ramona... 783 00:52:32,370 --> 00:52:35,488 when you were a minor, who drugged you, 784 00:52:36,409 --> 00:52:38,248 raped you 785 00:52:38,968 --> 00:52:41,807 and forced you to sell your innocent body ? 786 00:52:42,648 --> 00:52:45,206 He did, Luciano Cassetti, the beast. 787 00:52:45,408 --> 00:52:50,365 Her story is enough to have you locked up for life, 788 00:52:50,486 --> 00:52:53,965 but don't worry about your daughters, while you're in jail... 789 00:52:54,166 --> 00:52:56,324 Riccardino will look after them. 790 00:52:56,485 --> 00:52:58,644 I like the youngest one. 791 00:53:00,404 --> 00:53:02,563 How lovely winter is. 792 00:53:03,684 --> 00:53:06,402 - Riccardino, shall we go ? - Okay, sir. 793 00:53:08,963 --> 00:53:10,641 What language is that ? 794 00:53:27,560 --> 00:53:29,959 Good morning. 795 00:53:31,879 --> 00:53:34,397 Hello, Luciano, have a seat. 796 00:53:38,598 --> 00:53:40,757 - What is it ? - I have to report something. 797 00:53:40,997 --> 00:53:44,476 - Lost your wallet again ? - No, much worse. 798 00:53:44,597 --> 00:53:46,836 Here in town ? Who was it ? 799 00:53:49,036 --> 00:53:50,355 The Pre... 800 00:53:51,395 --> 00:53:53,834 - The pre... - The priest ? Father Mario ? 801 00:53:53,956 --> 00:53:55,994 - No, worse. - The preschool teacher ? 802 00:53:56,235 --> 00:53:57,194 No ! 803 00:54:16,151 --> 00:54:18,550 76% in favour, but it's just luck. 804 00:54:18,670 --> 00:54:22,389 Nonsense, I told you, what goes around comes around. 805 00:54:22,630 --> 00:54:26,709 I have to object because in this case... 806 00:54:26,949 --> 00:54:29,228 Please, will you be quiet for a while ? 807 00:54:29,348 --> 00:54:31,987 At last the first time I enter the library. 808 00:54:36,428 --> 00:54:38,347 Can you smell that ? 809 00:54:38,947 --> 00:54:43,625 There should be a copy of the Constitution with Einaudi's notes. 810 00:54:43,987 --> 00:54:45,665 I wonder where... 811 00:54:45,906 --> 00:54:48,665 Sector J, row 1 1 , 97. 812 00:54:49,145 --> 00:54:51,024 Miss Janis, there ! 813 00:54:52,625 --> 00:54:54,424 - No, Mr President ! - What is it ? 814 00:54:54,624 --> 00:54:56,543 - You can't climb up there. - Why ? 815 00:54:56,704 --> 00:54:58,863 If the President is at risk of danger, 816 00:54:58,983 --> 00:55:02,342 the secretary, or person acting on his behalf, must prevent it. 817 00:55:02,943 --> 00:55:05,421 Article 1 54, Health and Safety law. 818 00:55:06,183 --> 00:55:07,701 I'll go. 819 00:55:09,382 --> 00:55:11,701 Miss Janis, you can't go up there either. 820 00:55:14,781 --> 00:55:17,700 - Why ? - If a woman in a skirt, 821 00:55:17,900 --> 00:55:21,859 climbs above a man with eyes, he or whoever acts on his behalf, 822 00:55:22,620 --> 00:55:24,778 will look. Locker room law. 823 00:55:26,779 --> 00:55:28,258 I'll go. 824 00:55:30,178 --> 00:55:34,137 - Row 1 1 , 97. - 1 1 ... couldn't it be higher up ? 825 00:55:37,217 --> 00:55:39,376 - Here it is ! - Wait, I'll move the ladder ! 826 00:55:39,416 --> 00:55:41,335 No, I can reach. 827 00:55:44,215 --> 00:55:46,974 Miss Janis, grab the ladder, hurry ! 828 00:55:47,455 --> 00:55:50,054 - What are you doing ? - I'll cushion your fall ! 829 00:55:50,215 --> 00:55:53,453 You're nuts, I'll kill you ! Grab the ladder ! 830 00:55:53,654 --> 00:55:56,533 I can't, article 87/C, prevent all injuries ! 831 00:55:56,693 --> 00:55:59,932 Forget about the articles, use your head ! 832 00:56:00,133 --> 00:56:01,852 Grab the ladder ! 833 00:56:02,052 --> 00:56:05,091 Thinking anarchically goes against my nature ! 834 00:56:15,490 --> 00:56:17,049 Mr President... 835 00:56:17,809 --> 00:56:19,129 are you all right ? 836 00:56:20,090 --> 00:56:21,968 Did I cushion your fall ? 837 00:56:23,568 --> 00:56:25,247 Miss Janis... 838 00:56:25,849 --> 00:56:28,487 you're a great cushion. 839 00:56:28,608 --> 00:56:30,647 Are you okay ? 840 00:56:31,967 --> 00:56:37,126 I think my spinal cord is injured. 841 00:56:37,966 --> 00:56:40,085 I can't move. 842 00:56:43,846 --> 00:56:46,364 You are moving, Mr President. 843 00:56:46,725 --> 00:56:50,203 That's not me, it's an involuntary muscle movement. 844 00:56:50,684 --> 00:56:54,282 It's not my fault, it's my thing and your thing... 845 00:56:54,404 --> 00:56:57,042 Call me by my first name, at least when we talk about sex. 846 00:56:57,162 --> 00:56:58,602 No ! 847 00:57:01,602 --> 00:57:02,521 Janis ! 848 00:57:05,082 --> 00:57:06,640 You're always in the middle... 849 00:57:08,521 --> 00:57:10,240 I didn't do it on purpose ! 850 00:57:10,561 --> 00:57:12,479 It was just a small erection... 851 00:57:12,641 --> 00:57:15,239 It happens to fish too, it's natural. 852 00:57:29,157 --> 00:57:31,076 What are you doing ? 853 00:57:31,437 --> 00:57:35,676 - I've resigned for personal reasons. - Why this sudden coldness? 854 00:57:35,796 --> 00:57:39,035 - Shall we turn the heating up ? - Or the fire perhaps ? 855 00:57:39,236 --> 00:57:42,354 - I admit, I'm attracted to you. - To who ? 856 00:57:42,475 --> 00:57:45,033 - To you, Janis. - It's Miss Janis. 857 00:57:45,154 --> 00:57:47,433 You can't leave because of a little erection ! 858 00:57:47,674 --> 00:57:48,873 Yes, I can ! 859 00:57:48,993 --> 00:57:51,153 I grew up respecting the State and protocol, 860 00:57:51,353 --> 00:57:53,792 I cannot arouse the highest institution of the State. 861 00:57:53,993 --> 00:57:57,271 - It was involuntary, why go ? - Because I was born a hippie ! 862 00:57:57,632 --> 00:57:59,551 My parents were hippies. 863 00:57:59,752 --> 00:58:02,671 I was conceived during a Janis Joplin concert, 864 00:58:02,792 --> 00:58:05,870 I lived in a Sai Baba commune, I sang Joan Baez at age 4, 865 00:58:06,031 --> 00:58:09,270 I swam naked with Inti Illimani at age 6, 866 00:58:09,470 --> 00:58:12,829 at 7, after having three dads, I wrote my first song: 867 00:58:12,989 --> 00:58:16,108 "I want a life full of rules, if not here, then elsewhere." 868 00:58:18,269 --> 00:58:21,387 - Goodbye. - Let's talk, over a drink. 869 00:58:21,588 --> 00:58:23,426 Champagne, Coke ? 870 00:58:23,547 --> 00:58:25,707 Leave me alone, get out of here ! 871 00:58:27,147 --> 00:58:29,185 Not you... darling ! 872 00:58:32,146 --> 00:58:35,305 - What do you want ? - My name's Darling. 873 00:58:35,785 --> 00:58:37,665 Antonio Darling. 874 00:58:37,825 --> 00:58:41,024 I don't think you meant me, but just checking... 875 00:58:49,343 --> 00:58:50,782 Hello ? 876 00:58:53,143 --> 00:58:54,502 When did it happen ? 877 00:58:55,222 --> 00:58:57,341 A stress induced stroke. 878 00:58:58,222 --> 00:59:00,980 Sorry, doctor ? Luciano isn't stressed. 879 00:59:02,021 --> 00:59:05,299 He's healthy, he's at peace with the world, always outdoors. 880 00:59:05,621 --> 00:59:06,979 Will he be okay ? 881 00:59:07,540 --> 00:59:10,939 I don't know, we're waiting for him to come round. 882 00:59:11,899 --> 00:59:14,498 - Goodbye, Mr President. - Thank you. 883 00:59:18,098 --> 00:59:21,937 I'll take him to Rome, to the best hospital with the best doctors. 884 00:59:55,812 --> 00:59:59,850 - I resigned. - Our President has disappeared. 885 01:00:00,011 --> 01:00:01,449 - When ? - Two days ago. 886 01:00:01,650 --> 01:00:05,649 He went to visit his friend in hospital, he went to the toilet... 887 01:00:07,209 --> 01:00:08,289 and disappeared. 888 01:00:08,649 --> 01:00:11,047 Four soldiers were at the door, four. 889 01:00:12,728 --> 01:00:16,927 Help us, do it for Mr Ranieri, look at his state... 890 01:00:17,408 --> 01:00:19,326 It's embarrassing, 891 01:00:19,447 --> 01:00:22,326 the President of Brazil is due, it'll be a diplomatic disaster. 892 01:00:22,446 --> 01:00:26,725 Where were you when he disappeared at the hospital ? 893 01:00:42,243 --> 01:00:46,561 Don't get angry. I'll pay you back, I'll slap myself. 894 01:00:49,082 --> 01:00:51,121 I'll punch myself in the stomach ! 895 01:00:51,361 --> 01:00:53,121 A kick in the butt ! 896 01:01:03,480 --> 01:01:06,318 Mr President, I presume. 897 01:01:12,118 --> 01:01:14,597 Jafar is 9. 898 01:01:15,917 --> 01:01:17,876 His mother was deported, 899 01:01:18,437 --> 01:01:20,396 he has no one here. 900 01:01:21,676 --> 01:01:24,715 I asked for assistance but there's no more staff. 901 01:01:24,836 --> 01:01:27,075 So I said... 902 01:01:28,195 --> 01:01:29,994 I refuse to be the President of... 903 01:01:30,235 --> 01:01:32,633 - Uncle Peppino... - Jafar ! 904 01:01:34,675 --> 01:01:36,073 How are you ? 905 01:01:36,434 --> 01:01:38,272 My head hurts. 906 01:01:38,393 --> 01:01:41,632 Know the story about the king who lost his headache ? 907 01:01:41,873 --> 01:01:44,351 There was a king who always had a headache 908 01:01:44,752 --> 01:01:48,471 and after many years he made friends with his headache. 909 01:01:48,672 --> 01:01:51,830 - He called it Gigi. - Mr President... 910 01:01:54,710 --> 01:01:59,029 This is all great but the President of Brazil is waiting for you. 911 01:01:59,230 --> 01:02:02,388 - Bring him here then. - After many years... 912 01:02:02,510 --> 01:02:04,428 Here to the hospital ? 913 01:02:04,629 --> 01:02:07,868 We just need a photo of us shaking hands, we'll do it here. 914 01:02:08,028 --> 01:02:11,026 Jafar, do you want to meet the president of Brazil ? 915 01:02:17,867 --> 01:02:19,185 Is it carnival time ? 916 01:02:19,306 --> 01:02:23,504 This is an insult, I'll break our economic agreement with Italy ! 917 01:02:23,706 --> 01:02:26,704 I'll report this to the UN too ! 918 01:02:26,865 --> 01:02:30,184 - Right ! - I'm the director of protocol ! 919 01:02:30,304 --> 01:02:33,303 And I'm the General Secretary, dammit ! 920 01:02:33,464 --> 01:02:35,383 Where's the President ? 921 01:02:39,583 --> 01:02:41,982 That joker is the President of... 922 01:02:42,222 --> 01:02:44,501 The President of the Republic of Italy. 923 01:02:47,981 --> 01:02:50,020 Mr President ! 924 01:02:58,420 --> 01:03:01,018 What are they doing ? It's been two hours ! 925 01:03:20,256 --> 01:03:21,814 They're discussing overseas trade. 926 01:03:21,935 --> 01:03:25,414 I urgently want to discuss protocol ! 927 01:03:25,855 --> 01:03:30,093 Enough of this protocol, there are more important things in life. 928 01:03:35,333 --> 01:03:38,332 "Tu quoque"... Miss Janis. 929 01:03:52,970 --> 01:03:54,769 Thank you, Mr President. 930 01:03:55,529 --> 01:03:59,608 You've made me discover a new way of looking at life. 931 01:04:00,809 --> 01:04:03,048 Call me by my first name, Joao. 932 01:04:03,568 --> 01:04:05,847 Same goes for you, Peppino. 933 01:04:11,927 --> 01:04:13,525 Peppino... 934 01:04:15,566 --> 01:04:17,005 Joao. 935 01:04:20,205 --> 01:04:22,884 Brazil has made a sensational decision to buy 936 01:04:23,124 --> 01:04:26,683 200 billion euros of Italian debt at an interest rate of 2%. 937 01:04:26,844 --> 01:04:29,603 Obviously many analysts are wondering why 938 01:04:29,803 --> 01:04:32,602 so let's speak to our envoy, Roberto Tallei. 939 01:04:32,723 --> 01:04:36,202 Yes, even the experts here at Parliament 940 01:04:36,322 --> 01:04:40,520 don't really understand what's going on. 941 01:04:40,722 --> 01:04:42,800 Do you have any idea ? 942 01:04:43,001 --> 01:04:46,999 Could you give us your theory about what you think happened ? 943 01:04:47,120 --> 01:04:49,759 - No, I can't. - All right... 944 01:04:49,959 --> 01:04:51,799 Maybe it's a miracle... 945 01:04:52,000 --> 01:04:55,878 What miracle ? You don't know because you've always been clueless. 946 01:05:02,078 --> 01:05:03,917 See you, Luciano. 947 01:05:08,837 --> 01:05:11,475 Mr President, you have interview requests 948 01:05:11,596 --> 01:05:14,354 from the BBC, CNN, Al Jazeera, Fox TV... 949 01:05:14,955 --> 01:05:17,314 What do you want to do ? 950 01:05:19,474 --> 01:05:21,433 Go to bed. 951 01:05:33,432 --> 01:05:35,911 Mr President ? 952 01:05:39,191 --> 01:05:41,830 I've taken back my resignation. 953 01:05:44,590 --> 01:05:48,508 Thanks to you I've realized both my souls can coexist. 954 01:05:49,349 --> 01:05:51,388 Creativity and rigour, 955 01:05:51,909 --> 01:05:54,068 formality and kindness, 956 01:05:54,988 --> 01:05:56,947 protocol "on the road"... 957 01:06:00,867 --> 01:06:02,706 I want to be alongside you. 958 01:06:04,747 --> 01:06:06,905 That's not possible, 959 01:06:07,827 --> 01:06:11,225 I like sleeping in the middle, not on the side. 960 01:06:11,425 --> 01:06:13,464 No, I meant... 961 01:06:14,425 --> 01:06:17,343 alongside you, politically speaking. 962 01:06:27,182 --> 01:06:29,462 Are you sure, Miss Janis ? 963 01:06:34,142 --> 01:06:36,300 No, Mr President. 964 01:07:51,648 --> 01:07:53,566 Now I'll say something 965 01:07:53,768 --> 01:07:57,246 that no President has ever said to his General Secretary. 966 01:07:59,446 --> 01:08:01,125 I love you. 967 01:08:03,006 --> 01:08:04,725 I love you too, I think. 968 01:08:04,845 --> 01:08:07,204 - But let's not rush things. - No. 969 01:08:07,365 --> 01:08:09,603 - Baby steps. - Yes. 970 01:08:10,564 --> 01:08:12,363 But I was thinking... 971 01:08:12,524 --> 01:08:14,802 we know that we love each other, 972 01:08:15,363 --> 01:08:18,042 we have to live together for seven years... 973 01:08:18,243 --> 01:08:19,962 so Janis... 974 01:08:21,043 --> 01:08:22,602 will you marry me ? 975 01:08:24,642 --> 01:08:25,841 Yes. 976 01:08:44,919 --> 01:08:47,077 When is this crook arriving ? 977 01:08:48,118 --> 01:08:49,717 Firstly, 978 01:08:51,837 --> 01:08:53,916 you're the crook. 979 01:08:54,517 --> 01:08:56,196 Secondly, 980 01:08:56,317 --> 01:09:00,715 where were you on Wednesday night at 00:47 and 32 seconds ? 981 01:09:02,275 --> 01:09:04,194 I was with Natasha. 982 01:09:04,595 --> 01:09:05,914 Thirdly, 983 01:09:06,115 --> 01:09:08,794 I put a skeleton in the President's closet. 984 01:09:12,874 --> 01:09:16,912 You can fight against institutions all your life 985 01:09:17,073 --> 01:09:20,911 but if you have the President of the Republic coming to dinner 986 01:09:21,153 --> 01:09:22,831 you're bound to be nervous. 987 01:09:23,072 --> 01:09:25,430 Try smoking less weed. 988 01:09:26,151 --> 01:09:28,830 And smarten up, you look like a senile Joan Baez. 989 01:09:30,471 --> 01:09:33,029 Get rid of that A for anarchy ! 990 01:09:33,150 --> 01:09:35,549 Allen Ginsberg gave it to me. 991 01:09:38,069 --> 01:09:39,388 Shit ! 992 01:09:40,108 --> 01:09:41,428 It was hot... 993 01:09:44,148 --> 01:09:46,467 I knew I shouldn't have invited him ! 994 01:09:46,947 --> 01:09:50,066 Mom, we'll give him the roast, look how good it is. 995 01:09:50,267 --> 01:09:52,185 No, the roast ! 996 01:09:59,786 --> 01:10:01,944 - What's this smell ? - Incense. 997 01:10:02,505 --> 01:10:03,864 Come in. 998 01:10:04,664 --> 01:10:07,223 My brother, my sister-in-law 999 01:10:09,264 --> 01:10:10,463 and my mom. 1000 01:10:10,583 --> 01:10:12,462 Mom, this is Peppino. 1001 01:10:13,103 --> 01:10:16,102 - Nice to meet you, mom. - Mr President. 1002 01:10:16,302 --> 01:10:17,301 No, watch out ! 1003 01:10:23,061 --> 01:10:24,940 I'm fine. 1004 01:10:28,181 --> 01:10:30,339 Something cushioned my fall. 1005 01:10:31,900 --> 01:10:34,219 - Here. - Is the roast... 1006 01:10:34,539 --> 01:10:37,817 I'll put it here, we'll eat it. I don't want to make a mess. 1007 01:10:47,297 --> 01:10:49,215 These are for you. 1008 01:10:49,417 --> 01:10:51,255 Thanks, Mr President. 1009 01:10:51,456 --> 01:10:53,655 What a marvellous day. 1010 01:10:55,056 --> 01:10:56,494 - Shall we eat ? - Yes dear 1011 01:10:56,655 --> 01:10:59,614 How great, anarchy in power ! 1012 01:11:03,854 --> 01:11:07,653 The problem with Italy is that you're all sailors. 1013 01:11:07,893 --> 01:11:10,212 You go where the wind takes you. 1014 01:11:10,452 --> 01:11:14,532 My husband, the Pole, the concert one, he was a hippie, 1015 01:11:14,732 --> 01:11:16,891 chief of seven communes... 1016 01:11:17,051 --> 01:11:20,850 From a hippie, he became a yuppie, a liberal, a stock gambler. 1017 01:11:21,091 --> 01:11:24,690 I ended up in bed with capitalism... no ! 1018 01:11:24,850 --> 01:11:27,489 I made love to capitalism... No ! 1019 01:11:27,610 --> 01:11:30,849 - I reached orgasm with capitalism. - Mom ! 1020 01:11:33,209 --> 01:11:35,407 And when he swapped Che Guevara for Reagan ? 1021 01:11:35,608 --> 01:11:39,367 That wasn't all ! He even duped me and my son. 1022 01:11:39,488 --> 01:11:43,207 He made us set up a company, as a formality, he said. 1023 01:11:43,567 --> 01:11:46,766 - And then he cleaned us out. - Greed ! 1024 01:11:47,287 --> 01:11:49,685 I've got a son who... 1025 01:11:50,246 --> 01:11:52,765 Forget it. Shall we make a toast ? 1026 01:11:52,926 --> 01:11:56,044 To this evening which is so... 1027 01:11:58,324 --> 01:11:59,963 cracking. 1028 01:12:19,321 --> 01:12:20,959 Wait ! 1029 01:12:21,480 --> 01:12:22,919 What is it ? 1030 01:12:24,800 --> 01:12:26,759 - What is it ? - It stinks ! 1031 01:12:28,040 --> 01:12:30,318 - Oregano ? - This is against protocol ! 1032 01:12:30,479 --> 01:12:33,678 - Who gives a damn ! - I'll take it to the kitchen. 1033 01:12:43,677 --> 01:12:46,555 Bomb alert ! We have to inspect everything ! 1034 01:12:46,676 --> 01:12:48,475 Everything ? 1035 01:12:58,194 --> 01:13:03,312 I swear I planted half a kilo of marijuana but they didn't find it. 1036 01:13:03,434 --> 01:13:05,112 I wonder where it's gone... 1037 01:13:05,232 --> 01:13:07,551 Tri-colour pizza: Sorrento tomatoes, 1038 01:13:07,752 --> 01:13:10,430 mozzarella and Sicilian oregano. 1039 01:13:12,911 --> 01:13:14,470 Pizza. 1040 01:13:51,825 --> 01:13:54,223 What's your name ? Ping Pong ? 1041 01:14:04,742 --> 01:14:06,221 My friends... 1042 01:14:11,381 --> 01:14:14,980 this is the best bilateral meeting of my life. 1043 01:14:15,180 --> 01:14:17,739 I don't know why this reminds me of my childhood, 1044 01:14:19,060 --> 01:14:21,098 my bedtime lullaby. 1045 01:15:18,689 --> 01:15:21,328 Who are you ? I don't know you. 1046 01:15:22,488 --> 01:15:26,087 Antonio Darling, via Como 1 3. 1047 01:15:26,608 --> 01:15:30,166 Tax-dodging father, transsexual-loving brother. 1048 01:15:30,567 --> 01:15:32,846 Keep schtum. 1049 01:15:38,926 --> 01:15:40,484 What is this racket ? 1050 01:15:52,403 --> 01:15:54,442 We'll do what Brazil did, 1051 01:15:54,683 --> 01:15:58,041 we'll buy 200 billion euros of Italian debt ! 1052 01:15:59,002 --> 01:16:02,840 Let's cut the cuts ! 1053 01:16:02,961 --> 01:16:05,680 So they're scrapping the new taxes ? 1054 01:16:05,841 --> 01:16:07,640 My treasure, come here ! 1055 01:16:11,960 --> 01:16:14,239 So I'm no longer redundant ! 1056 01:16:14,919 --> 01:16:17,958 - I'm no longer in job limbo ! - You've lost me. 1057 01:16:24,197 --> 01:16:27,997 The President is now as popular as the national football team, 1058 01:16:28,157 --> 01:16:32,356 so we can say that today, Italy has won... 1059 01:16:32,596 --> 01:16:36,915 As you see, the enthusiasm here is uncontainable. 1060 01:16:37,036 --> 01:16:39,034 A scene like this has never been seen... 1061 01:16:48,513 --> 01:16:53,312 Don't stay cooped up in here, thoughts of mine 1062 01:16:55,232 --> 01:16:59,551 Write what you know is true 1063 01:17:04,351 --> 01:17:06,189 What's the matter ? 1064 01:17:07,990 --> 01:17:09,909 The matter is... 1065 01:17:10,870 --> 01:17:15,308 I'm feeling really nostalgic for the 70s. 1066 01:17:17,229 --> 01:17:19,467 If someone made a mistake, 1067 01:17:19,708 --> 01:17:21,547 they were shot, 1068 01:17:21,748 --> 01:17:24,866 a pill was slipped into their coffee, or they were hanged... 1069 01:17:25,627 --> 01:17:27,786 It was all more subtle. 1070 01:17:28,707 --> 01:17:31,145 It was all much simpler. 1071 01:17:32,826 --> 01:17:35,704 Darling, we all grow old, 1072 01:17:35,945 --> 01:17:39,424 but you should be proud, 1073 01:17:39,784 --> 01:17:43,263 no one ruined this country as much as you did. 1074 01:17:43,983 --> 01:17:45,382 Come on, let's sleep. 1075 01:18:07,100 --> 01:18:09,898 Yes, Riccardino ? What ? 1076 01:18:12,059 --> 01:18:14,057 Okay, good. 1077 01:18:15,858 --> 01:18:19,577 - Marijuana in the pizza ? - The tests leave no doubt. 1078 01:18:20,337 --> 01:18:22,576 I thought it reminded me of mummy's smell. 1079 01:18:22,737 --> 01:18:24,536 Janis, how did this happened ? 1080 01:18:25,497 --> 01:18:29,094 The oregano, they've infiltrated your underpants. 1081 01:18:30,615 --> 01:18:32,574 Damn rotten apples ! 1082 01:18:32,776 --> 01:18:34,734 Rotten apples in my underpants ? 1083 01:18:34,975 --> 01:18:36,494 I heard voices... 1084 01:18:37,455 --> 01:18:41,653 Old rotten apples from the Secret Service are back in action. 1085 01:18:41,893 --> 01:18:43,812 They've been sent from Parliament. 1086 01:18:46,013 --> 01:18:48,851 They're still trying to send me packing. 1087 01:18:50,172 --> 01:18:53,930 This time I'll send them packing, I'm going to dissolve Parliament. 1088 01:18:56,211 --> 01:18:58,849 Flavia, remember her ? 9.5 kilos. 1089 01:19:02,689 --> 01:19:04,809 I can't stand seeing you like this. 1090 01:19:06,289 --> 01:19:08,408 - Maybe you'd be better off dead. - Up yours ! 1091 01:19:12,168 --> 01:19:12,887 Luciano ! 1092 01:19:13,128 --> 01:19:15,767 You haven't been here for 1 0 days ! 1093 01:19:16,007 --> 01:19:17,686 You can talk ! 1094 01:19:17,927 --> 01:19:19,965 Of course, but don't tell anyone. 1095 01:19:20,207 --> 01:19:22,686 - I'm scared that guy'll come back. - Who ? 1096 01:19:22,846 --> 01:19:24,525 With the glass eye, 1097 01:19:25,126 --> 01:19:28,244 in his 70s, with a slight limp... 1098 01:19:30,885 --> 01:19:32,564 - Mr Fausto. - Who's he ? 1099 01:19:32,765 --> 01:19:34,723 Someone I hoped I'd never see again. 1100 01:19:35,684 --> 01:19:39,162 We must retrieve Luciano's file, or he'll spend his life in a coma. 1101 01:19:40,603 --> 01:19:43,362 - He cheated on the old bag. - The old bag ? 1102 01:19:44,043 --> 01:19:45,761 Sorry, I meant his wife. 1103 01:19:45,882 --> 01:19:49,241 In the photos the action is unequivocal... 1104 01:19:49,721 --> 01:19:52,600 I hope it's the baker's wife and not his boy... 1105 01:19:59,680 --> 01:20:01,238 It's freezing ! 1106 01:20:07,799 --> 01:20:12,277 I'd like to slaughter 33 lambs, 66 calves and 99 pigs. 1107 01:20:20,396 --> 01:20:22,355 - What does that mean ? - "Let's go". 1108 01:20:22,556 --> 01:20:25,475 You can't expect everyone to know that. 1109 01:20:25,596 --> 01:20:27,274 Come in. 1110 01:20:30,275 --> 01:20:32,153 Put these on. 1111 01:20:43,313 --> 01:20:45,031 What a pleasure. 1112 01:20:45,632 --> 01:20:48,470 I haven't seen a president in ages. 1113 01:20:49,231 --> 01:20:51,750 Secretary, how are you ? 1114 01:20:52,351 --> 01:20:55,829 - What can I do for you ? - Tell me who wants me gone. 1115 01:20:58,189 --> 01:21:00,948 - No. - It's too much for a pensioner. 1116 01:21:01,109 --> 01:21:03,627 Never mind. Call me if you want to play boules. 1117 01:21:03,869 --> 01:21:06,348 - Not during working hours. - Of course. 1118 01:21:06,508 --> 01:21:09,027 I know who's blackmailing your friend, 1119 01:21:12,108 --> 01:21:14,426 but I can't tell you. 1120 01:21:15,026 --> 01:21:17,145 We could talk about it. 1121 01:21:17,546 --> 01:21:20,665 Important openings are coming up in the Secret Services. 1122 01:21:21,625 --> 01:21:24,744 I could exert some... moral suasion. 1123 01:21:48,461 --> 01:21:50,419 This is my study. 1124 01:21:51,020 --> 01:21:52,459 Come in. 1125 01:21:56,660 --> 01:21:58,338 Here, 1126 01:21:58,579 --> 01:22:00,738 Luciano Cassetti. 1127 01:22:01,218 --> 01:22:02,777 Follow me. 1128 01:22:06,017 --> 01:22:08,177 All of Italy is in here. 1129 01:22:08,417 --> 01:22:10,656 I know everything about everyone. 1130 01:22:11,857 --> 01:22:13,775 Here we are, 1131 01:22:14,296 --> 01:22:16,815 Luciano Cassetti's file. 1132 01:22:20,415 --> 01:22:22,654 I think we could... 1133 01:22:24,814 --> 01:22:27,973 Vanity is everyone's downfall, 1134 01:22:28,454 --> 01:22:30,253 my dear Fausto. 1135 01:22:30,493 --> 01:22:33,372 You're an old man, you're stuck in the 70s. 1136 01:22:34,093 --> 01:22:35,771 Let's go, fisherman. 1137 01:22:37,092 --> 01:22:38,651 Let's go, come on. 1138 01:22:40,331 --> 01:22:42,130 Good work. 1139 01:22:44,411 --> 01:22:46,450 Don't stay cooped up in here 1140 01:22:47,011 --> 01:22:48,609 Thoughts of mine 1141 01:22:50,970 --> 01:22:52,889 Soak up the sun and go 1142 01:22:53,529 --> 01:22:55,768 Up into the sky 1143 01:22:57,728 --> 01:23:00,127 Find its home and then 1144 01:23:00,488 --> 01:23:02,607 On the wall 1145 01:23:03,448 --> 01:23:05,406 Write what you know 1146 01:23:05,607 --> 01:23:09,446 What you know is true 1147 01:23:14,366 --> 01:23:15,925 Peppino ! 1148 01:23:17,765 --> 01:23:19,684 It's brilliant ! 1149 01:23:20,245 --> 01:23:23,723 No need to dissolve parliament, the crooks will leave by themselves. 1150 01:23:23,884 --> 01:23:27,482 I know, we've got all the proof, politics, finance, the great powers... 1151 01:23:27,963 --> 01:23:30,322 This time we'll do a real clean sweep. 1152 01:23:35,882 --> 01:23:37,441 What's this ? 1153 01:23:53,639 --> 01:23:55,917 He wanted to blackmail you too. 1154 01:23:56,398 --> 01:23:59,397 He could've sent your father to jail with this stuff. 1155 01:23:59,997 --> 01:24:02,156 He would've been right, 1156 01:24:02,517 --> 01:24:06,356 but my mother and brother would've gone too for signing the papers. 1157 01:24:09,476 --> 01:24:11,634 Thank goodness you saved me. 1158 01:24:24,113 --> 01:24:25,873 What is it ? 1159 01:24:27,713 --> 01:24:29,112 Janis... 1160 01:24:30,592 --> 01:24:32,870 this file... 1161 01:24:33,472 --> 01:24:36,710 has to be handed to the judges, like the others. 1162 01:24:39,111 --> 01:24:41,350 I can't become like them. 1163 01:24:48,429 --> 01:24:50,987 You can't do this, it's my family. 1164 01:24:51,108 --> 01:24:53,107 Piero is my family too, 1165 01:24:53,269 --> 01:24:55,867 but I showed him no favouritism. 1166 01:24:56,747 --> 01:24:58,786 We're talking jail here ! 1167 01:24:59,747 --> 01:25:02,826 My mother and brother are innocent, they just signed the papers. 1168 01:25:03,107 --> 01:25:05,105 But they shouldn't have. 1169 01:25:06,066 --> 01:25:09,705 I didn't sign the laws I didn't understand. 1170 01:25:10,665 --> 01:25:12,424 Are you for real ? 1171 01:25:13,025 --> 01:25:15,064 All you say is "I, I, I..." 1172 01:25:15,225 --> 01:25:19,423 Behaving too much like a saint can make you a devil. 1173 01:25:19,864 --> 01:25:20,983 Mr President. 1174 01:25:26,382 --> 01:25:27,702 So, Mr President... 1175 01:25:28,263 --> 01:25:30,661 - At 1 1 you go to Parliament. - Okay. 1176 01:25:30,822 --> 01:25:33,820 At the same time 300 boxes of documents will leave here. 1177 01:25:34,022 --> 01:25:37,739 - And go to the police ? - And to the press. 1178 01:25:38,221 --> 01:25:39,819 Thank you, Morelli. 1179 01:25:40,300 --> 01:25:42,938 I'm going to rest now, I'm tired. 1180 01:25:43,140 --> 01:25:44,858 All right, Mr President. 1181 01:26:14,734 --> 01:26:17,133 I had no choice. 1182 01:26:18,533 --> 01:26:20,452 Of course, 1183 01:26:20,613 --> 01:26:24,892 but I was wondering, if you hand over Janis' file, 1184 01:26:25,652 --> 01:26:28,131 you have to hand mine over too, right ? 1185 01:26:34,650 --> 01:26:36,289 Yes... 1186 01:26:39,569 --> 01:26:41,688 you have to save this country. 1187 01:26:47,728 --> 01:26:50,126 What were you thinking... 1188 01:26:50,368 --> 01:26:53,006 Cash in hand sales, fake EU refund requests... 1189 01:26:53,128 --> 01:26:57,926 What the hell are you saying ? You mucked out stables for me too. 1190 01:26:58,126 --> 01:27:01,405 You preferred cash in hand too, did I exploit you ? 1191 01:27:01,966 --> 01:27:05,604 The EU refund requests ? Your wife showed me how to do them. 1192 01:27:06,165 --> 01:27:08,724 You didn't say a word then, 1193 01:27:08,964 --> 01:27:11,123 now you're treating me like a crook. 1194 01:27:11,324 --> 01:27:14,203 Peppino, we've been friends for 40 years, 1195 01:27:14,603 --> 01:27:19,522 I can accept that you'll report me but I won't be lectured from above. 1196 01:27:21,162 --> 01:27:24,441 You're just a fisherman, a mediocre one at best. 1197 01:27:27,801 --> 01:27:29,360 Page ! 1198 01:27:30,921 --> 01:27:33,199 Goodbye, idiot ! 1199 01:27:42,199 --> 01:27:45,037 I'm making this speech to joint chambers 1200 01:27:46,638 --> 01:27:48,876 to announce a resignation. 1201 01:27:51,277 --> 01:27:52,756 Mr President ! 1202 01:27:53,476 --> 01:27:55,155 Yours. 1203 01:27:55,637 --> 01:27:57,675 Your resignations. 1204 01:27:59,235 --> 01:28:02,714 I've got proof, names, the figures of all your illicit gains. 1205 01:28:03,074 --> 01:28:04,873 I'll hand them to the incorruptible. 1206 01:28:04,994 --> 01:28:07,273 Here's a taster ! Come on in, pages. 1207 01:28:13,953 --> 01:28:16,032 What is this farce ? 1208 01:28:18,192 --> 01:28:21,190 Not just corrupt parliamentarians, but all sorts, 1209 01:28:21,392 --> 01:28:23,430 bankers, industrialists... 1210 01:28:23,591 --> 01:28:25,030 I've got all the proof. 1211 01:28:25,231 --> 01:28:27,069 And there's more, 1212 01:28:27,871 --> 01:28:33,189 there are also files involving my loved ones. 1213 01:28:35,069 --> 01:28:38,828 At that point, I had to choose between my affections... 1214 01:28:39,548 --> 01:28:44,067 love, friendship and honesty. 1215 01:28:45,627 --> 01:28:47,706 A difficult choice. 1216 01:28:48,987 --> 01:28:50,706 I made a decision. 1217 01:28:51,987 --> 01:28:53,945 I burnt the files. 1218 01:28:54,866 --> 01:28:56,704 Now I'm like them, 1219 01:28:57,865 --> 01:29:00,264 so I'm announcing another resignation now, 1220 01:29:01,025 --> 01:29:02,463 mine. 1221 01:29:04,144 --> 01:29:05,583 After all, it's only fair. 1222 01:29:05,824 --> 01:29:09,182 I'm just a fisherman, albeit an excellent one. 1223 01:29:09,424 --> 01:29:11,942 Someone like me can only pave the way, 1224 01:29:12,182 --> 01:29:14,342 experts are needed to change Italy, 1225 01:29:14,582 --> 01:29:16,741 people who know the laws and protocol. 1226 01:29:17,222 --> 01:29:19,941 I have learnt something about protocol though, 1227 01:29:21,062 --> 01:29:23,820 look how well I sign my resignation. 1228 01:29:24,501 --> 01:29:26,339 LONG LIVE PARLIAMENT AND THE REPUBLIC ! 1229 01:29:26,940 --> 01:29:29,179 I was starting to like him, 1230 01:29:30,780 --> 01:29:32,898 this asshole fisherman. 1231 01:29:33,539 --> 01:29:35,298 Here, Mr President. 1232 01:29:36,058 --> 01:29:38,457 Is no one else going to resign ? 1233 01:29:42,257 --> 01:29:43,856 You perhaps ? 1234 01:29:44,577 --> 01:29:47,936 You who point your finger and say: "Politicians are thieves !" 1235 01:29:48,777 --> 01:29:52,815 But then you don't pay taxes, you double park, 1236 01:29:53,335 --> 01:29:55,854 and pay workers under the table... 1237 01:29:56,815 --> 01:29:59,694 You who aren't a politician, but would like to be one, 1238 01:29:59,895 --> 01:30:02,093 to help your relatives, to profit from it... 1239 01:30:02,214 --> 01:30:05,532 You who get a CAT scan in 2 days thanks to connections, 1240 01:30:05,693 --> 01:30:07,692 you who skive off at work, 1241 01:30:08,413 --> 01:30:09,892 you who are honest as well, 1242 01:30:10,092 --> 01:30:13,211 but turn a blind eye when a friend abuses the system. 1243 01:30:13,852 --> 01:30:17,210 You can't resign because you don't represent anything 1244 01:30:18,252 --> 01:30:20,690 but you should resign your sneaky ways 1245 01:30:21,371 --> 01:30:23,769 or the next ones will be worse. 1246 01:30:24,130 --> 01:30:28,488 These are children of a country that no longer respects rules. 1247 01:30:29,770 --> 01:30:32,088 But of course, the crooks are always others. 1248 01:30:32,929 --> 01:30:38,687 But which others ? 1249 01:31:08,563 --> 01:31:09,881 There. 1250 01:31:10,082 --> 01:31:12,961 This is the President's story. Do you get it, children ? 1251 01:31:13,202 --> 01:31:15,040 Go to hell, Peppino ! 1252 01:31:15,641 --> 01:31:19,080 You talk bullshit like all fishermen ! 1253 01:31:19,241 --> 01:31:23,799 Your story is more fake than the tobacconist's boobs ! 1254 01:31:25,679 --> 01:31:28,238 Firstly, leave Rosa's boobs out of it. 1255 01:31:28,478 --> 01:31:31,237 Secondly it doesn't matter if a story is true or false 1256 01:31:31,438 --> 01:31:33,277 what counts is that is a good story. 1257 01:31:33,398 --> 01:31:36,237 - Thirdly... - You'll tell us next time. 1258 01:31:44,316 --> 01:31:47,395 We're getting married in half an hour. 1259 01:31:48,635 --> 01:31:49,954 I'm getting married ! 1260 01:32:02,033 --> 01:32:03,751 Congratulations, Peppino ! 1261 01:32:28,828 --> 01:32:30,987 When it bites, reel it in. 1262 01:32:35,547 --> 01:32:37,426 I caught it ! 1263 01:32:37,827 --> 01:32:39,505 Hooray for the bride ! 1264 01:32:43,466 --> 01:32:44,624 Excuse me. 1265 01:32:46,465 --> 01:32:48,224 Monsignor, what is it ? 1266 01:32:49,664 --> 01:32:51,983 You've elected a new Pope, great ! 1267 01:32:52,184 --> 01:32:53,983 Why are you telling me ? 1268 01:32:57,343 --> 01:32:58,542 Pardon ? 1269 01:32:58,703 --> 01:33:03,981 Peppino... 1270 01:33:10,581 --> 01:33:12,260 What is it ? 1271 01:33:13,100 --> 01:33:14,180 What ? 1272 01:35:10,911 --> 01:35:13,128 When's my daughter getting married ? 94746