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1
00:00:31,073 --> 00:00:34,284
I like to think about the
beginning of the universe a lot.
2
00:00:34,493 --> 00:00:36,286
A lot, a lot.
3
00:00:36,495 --> 00:00:40,040
About how there's
ten trillion galaxies,
4
00:00:40,249 --> 00:00:42,751
more stars than grains
of sand on the Earth,
5
00:00:42,960 --> 00:00:47,339
how it's been around for 13.82
billion years, give or take.
6
00:00:47,548 --> 00:00:50,175
So why does this stupid
little moment feel so big?
7
00:00:52,678 --> 00:00:53,679
It's so small.
8
00:00:55,055 --> 00:00:56,431
My first day
at public school.
9
00:00:56,640 --> 00:00:58,642
That's my mom
holding my hand.
10
00:00:58,850 --> 00:01:01,061
Are you sure we should
be holding hands?
11
00:01:01,270 --> 00:01:03,814
- Yeah, yeah, obviously.
- Don't be nervous.
12
00:01:04,022 --> 00:01:06,441
Let's go in. I'm freezing
my tits off out here.
13
00:01:06,650 --> 00:01:07,568
Okay.
14
00:01:07,776 --> 00:01:09,361
Big freaking exam day.
15
00:01:14,324 --> 00:01:16,159
I don't know this yet,
16
00:01:16,368 --> 00:01:19,454
but walking through those doors
is gonna change my life forever,
17
00:01:19,663 --> 00:01:23,208
like some supernova
explosion of love.
18
00:01:26,962 --> 00:01:30,299
Wait. Oh, that's a
really pretty image.
19
00:01:30,507 --> 00:01:31,633
Rewind.
20
00:01:31,842 --> 00:01:33,176
Let's go to
the beginning of me.
21
00:02:56,385 --> 00:02:59,304
Hey, Liam.
Hey. Liam?
22
00:02:59,513 --> 00:03:02,641
Okay, what are your obstacles
for tomorrow's exam? Go.
23
00:03:02,849 --> 00:03:05,644
Uh, sometimes I get lazy with my
handwriting and my Y's look like J's.
24
00:03:05,852 --> 00:03:07,396
- Yes.
- I can do better. I can do better.
25
00:03:07,604 --> 00:03:09,981
Mom, uh...
And I get nervous sweats.
26
00:03:10,190 --> 00:03:11,858
Go to Cambridge,
study with Stephen Hawking,
27
00:03:12,067 --> 00:03:14,361
become the second-most famous
astronomer of all time.
28
00:03:14,569 --> 00:03:15,862
Honey, I think you can
become most famous.
29
00:03:16,071 --> 00:03:17,823
I mean, it's Stephen
Hawking, come on.
30
00:03:18,031 --> 00:03:19,533
Hot hint for today's
practice exam,
31
00:03:19,741 --> 00:03:21,159
it's just a practice.
32
00:03:21,368 --> 00:03:23,537
But tomorrow, not too
much water pre-exam.
33
00:03:23,745 --> 00:03:25,122
- Why not?
- Too many bathroom breaks.
34
00:03:25,330 --> 00:03:27,040
- Right.
- Okay.
35
00:03:27,249 --> 00:03:28,417
Batter up. Ready?
36
00:03:28,625 --> 00:03:29,835
I'm already
a little bit excited.
37
00:03:30,043 --> 00:03:31,420
- Yeah.
- Yeah, look, I'm sweating.
38
00:03:31,628 --> 00:03:33,046
- Really?
- Looks like excite sweat.
39
00:03:33,255 --> 00:03:34,172
- That's fun.
- You wanna feel it?
40
00:03:34,381 --> 00:03:35,173
Yeah.
41
00:03:35,382 --> 00:03:36,883
Ew! Okay.
42
00:03:38,135 --> 00:03:39,845
All right. Ready?
43
00:03:40,053 --> 00:03:42,139
You may begin... now.
44
00:03:55,193 --> 00:03:55,986
Oh, nuts!
45
00:03:57,487 --> 00:03:59,406
- Can I sharpen my pencil?
- Yes.
46
00:04:01,783 --> 00:04:05,036
We should get you
a good mechanical pencil.
47
00:04:18,341 --> 00:04:19,551
- Really?
- Mmm-hmm.
48
00:04:21,470 --> 00:04:22,596
- Let's celebrate!
- Okay.
49
00:04:22,804 --> 00:04:24,139
Wiggles]
- I am.
50
00:04:24,347 --> 00:04:25,348
What do you mean?
51
00:04:25,557 --> 00:04:26,641
-L'm celebrating.
- When?
52
00:04:28,101 --> 00:04:30,020
- Right now.
- Now?
53
00:04:30,228 --> 00:04:31,521
- Right now.
- You're celebrating right now?
54
00:04:31,730 --> 00:04:33,148
Yep.
55
00:04:33,356 --> 00:04:35,609
Well, we can really celebrate
at prom tomorrow night.
56
00:04:35,817 --> 00:04:38,111
Are you excited?
We can really cut loose.
57
00:04:38,320 --> 00:04:40,071
Yeah, I was thinking of maybe
just doing some silent reading.
58
00:04:40,280 --> 00:04:41,448
Liam!
59
00:04:41,656 --> 00:04:43,074
When you graduate,
you have to have a prom.
60
00:04:43,283 --> 00:04:44,451
It's a rite of passage.
61
00:04:44,659 --> 00:04:45,452
Who did you invite?
62
00:04:47,245 --> 00:04:48,580
YOU?
63
00:04:48,789 --> 00:04:50,791
Well, of course I'm
gonna be there, sweetie.
64
00:04:50,999 --> 00:04:52,834
- My best friend.
- You know what?
65
00:04:53,043 --> 00:04:54,961
I love you infinity.
66
00:04:55,170 --> 00:04:56,296
Go outside
and play, kiddo.
67
00:05:16,274 --> 00:05:18,485
Okay.
68
00:05:18,693 --> 00:05:20,570
Okay, now remember,
always put down an answer
69
00:05:20,779 --> 00:05:22,155
even if you don't know
the answer.
70
00:05:22,364 --> 00:05:23,782
And start with
the easiest questions first,
71
00:05:23,990 --> 00:05:25,408
and then move on
to the hardest questions,
72
00:05:25,617 --> 00:05:27,035
because that way you'll
leave yourself more time
73
00:05:27,244 --> 00:05:27,994
for the things
you don't know
74
00:05:28,203 --> 00:05:29,204
and you won't stress out
75
00:05:29,412 --> 00:05:30,622
about the things
that you do know,
76
00:05:30,831 --> 00:05:31,832
because you'll
be freaking out about
77
00:05:32,040 --> 00:05:34,000
some of the harder questions.
78
00:05:34,209 --> 00:05:35,585
Liam?
79
00:05:35,794 --> 00:05:38,213
Wow, there are
so many students!
80
00:05:38,421 --> 00:05:39,840
Honey, focus.
81
00:05:40,048 --> 00:05:41,925
- Focus, okay?
- Yeah.
82
00:05:42,133 --> 00:05:44,094
Ugh! I had to
go to this school.
83
00:05:44,302 --> 00:05:46,972
I had to go to this school for
stupid people, but you don't.
84
00:05:47,180 --> 00:05:49,099
You're going to Cambridge,
because you are special
85
00:05:49,307 --> 00:05:50,392
and you're perfect, all right?
86
00:05:50,600 --> 00:05:51,393
Remember that.
87
00:05:51,601 --> 00:05:52,894
Now we put you in layers,
88
00:05:53,103 --> 00:05:54,563
because if it gets cold,
you can put 'em back on.
89
00:05:54,771 --> 00:05:56,398
When you get hot,
you can take 'em off.
90
00:05:56,606 --> 00:05:58,984
Okay, and don't, like,
look all, like, up in the sky
91
00:05:59,192 --> 00:06:00,402
back and forth
like Stevie Wonder
92
00:06:00,610 --> 00:06:01,820
if you don't
know the answer,
93
00:06:02,028 --> 00:06:03,446
because they will nail
your butt for cheating.
94
00:06:03,655 --> 00:06:05,031
They will. Okay?
95
00:06:05,240 --> 00:06:07,784
Now, when you
pass this test,
96
00:06:07,993 --> 00:06:08,994
you are
a high school graduate.
97
00:06:12,414 --> 00:06:14,207
Okay, go! Go get 'em!
98
00:06:17,544 --> 00:06:19,087
What? Oh!
99
00:06:29,180 --> 00:06:30,015
Hi, Autumn.
100
00:06:31,766 --> 00:06:32,934
Hi, Liam.
101
00:06:34,185 --> 00:06:35,812
Meet Autumn.
102
00:06:36,021 --> 00:06:37,230
She runs a not-for-profit
103
00:06:37,439 --> 00:06:38,732
that protests
cruelty to snails.
104
00:06:48,617 --> 00:06:50,660
All this training
for you, my dear.
105
00:06:52,120 --> 00:06:53,580
And you can begin...
106
00:06:57,751 --> 00:06:59,044
now.
107
00:07:02,297 --> 00:07:05,425
Only losers
get 97 fricking percent.
108
00:07:05,634 --> 00:07:06,718
I've been here all morning.
109
00:07:06,927 --> 00:07:08,303
Autumn insisted
that we come early.
110
00:07:08,511 --> 00:07:09,596
Gross.
111
00:07:09,804 --> 00:07:11,264
You know, Autumn's
been requesting
112
00:07:11,473 --> 00:07:12,974
we do a unit
on Bolivian weaving.
113
00:07:13,183 --> 00:07:15,352
- Hmm.
- She can't get enough of it. Get this.
114
00:07:15,560 --> 00:07:18,730
She made a traditional
Bolivian flat-knot for me.
115
00:07:18,939 --> 00:07:20,565
I've been using it
as a phone case.
116
00:07:20,774 --> 00:07:22,651
Liam is
obsessed with black holes.
117
00:07:22,859 --> 00:07:24,736
- I love it when you do that.
- Thank you.
118
00:07:24,945 --> 00:07:26,321
Do you want me
to talk dirty?
119
00:07:26,529 --> 00:07:28,198
Yes.
120
00:07:28,406 --> 00:07:29,824
Looks like we're gonna need
a new trophy case, huh?
121
00:07:30,033 --> 00:07:31,284
These aren't trophies.
122
00:07:31,493 --> 00:07:32,911
They're just awards
for participation.
123
00:07:34,537 --> 00:07:38,208
We have a very high
rate of participation.
124
00:07:38,416 --> 00:07:41,586
It's Dumbo. Participation's
mandatory, not award-worthy.
125
00:07:41,795 --> 00:07:45,256
Well, at this school,
it's award-worthy, you know.
126
00:07:45,465 --> 00:07:46,341
I'm the principal.
127
00:07:46,549 --> 00:07:47,968
- Okay.
- That's nice.
128
00:07:48,176 --> 00:07:49,469
Normally that
impresses people.
129
00:07:49,678 --> 00:07:51,137
My name's on this one.
130
00:07:51,346 --> 00:07:53,181
It's a participation award
for the debate club.
131
00:07:53,390 --> 00:07:55,392
Oh, yeah. There you go.
Yeah. Hey, congrats.
132
00:07:55,600 --> 00:07:57,519
Thanks. I got pregnant
on that field trip.
133
00:07:57,727 --> 00:08:00,105
That's quite a bit
of participation.
134
00:08:00,313 --> 00:08:01,940
I have a son.
I home-school him.
135
00:08:02,148 --> 00:08:03,400
Home-school kids.
136
00:08:03,608 --> 00:08:05,193
- Normally that impresses people.
- Yeah.
137
00:08:06,820 --> 00:08:08,863
Well, hey,
next time you're here,
138
00:08:09,072 --> 00:08:10,991
we'll setup an appointment and
we'll talk curriculum. Yeah?
139
00:08:11,199 --> 00:08:12,701
Okay, great. We'll probably
never be here again, though.
140
00:08:12,909 --> 00:08:14,369
- Okay.
- Ugh!
141
00:08:14,577 --> 00:08:16,830
That was the closest
I've been to sex in a while.
142
00:08:17,038 --> 00:08:18,456
Me, too.
143
00:08:18,665 --> 00:08:19,624
You know, the kids here
are getting way more than me,
144
00:08:19,833 --> 00:08:21,334
like circle-jerk
parties at 13!
145
00:08:21,543 --> 00:08:25,797
Yeah. That's why I'm going
with Liam to Cambridge,
146
00:08:26,006 --> 00:08:28,049
to protect him
from getting derailed.
147
00:08:28,258 --> 00:08:29,884
Autumn's not getting
derailed without me.
148
00:08:30,093 --> 00:08:32,679
No one's having sex
with those kids but us.
149
00:08:32,887 --> 00:08:34,097
Around.
150
00:08:34,305 --> 00:08:35,598
- Yes.
- Or nearby at least.
151
00:08:37,058 --> 00:08:38,518
'Etimer b e8 was! ps1
152
00:08:38,727 --> 00:08:39,894
Fifty-three minutes left.
153
00:08:40,103 --> 00:08:42,605
Good Job, Liam.
Pat on the back.
154
00:08:52,657 --> 00:08:53,533
What? All done?
155
00:08:53,742 --> 00:08:55,118
It's impossible.
156
00:08:55,326 --> 00:08:56,911
Apparently it is not.
157
00:08:57,120 --> 00:08:58,663
Uh, you should know that
someone wrote on the desk
158
00:08:58,872 --> 00:09:00,749
with permanent marker,
"You're a dirty cocksucker."
159
00:09:00,957 --> 00:09:02,834
I'm not
a dirty cocksucker.
160
00:09:03,043 --> 00:09:04,294
It wasn't me.
161
00:09:21,978 --> 00:09:24,147
The light from
the Quanta 6 supernova
162
00:09:24,355 --> 00:09:26,399
is probably hitting
Earth right now.
163
00:09:28,318 --> 00:09:31,154
Wow! Crazy!
164
00:09:54,302 --> 00:09:55,678
Can I get my test back?
165
00:09:55,887 --> 00:09:57,263
- Yeah, what's your name?
-lt's Liam Heap.
166
00:09:57,472 --> 00:09:58,431
It's right there.
It's the only one there.
167
00:09:58,640 --> 00:10:00,141
Right.
168
00:10:00,350 --> 00:10:02,185
You're the kid that called me
"the dirty cocksucker."
169
00:10:02,393 --> 00:10:04,437
That wasn't me.
Somebody wrote it on the desk.
170
00:10:04,646 --> 00:10:05,855
You kids start
these nasty rumors
171
00:10:06,064 --> 00:10:08,399
about me and Tony,
the Phys. Ed. teacher,
172
00:10:08,608 --> 00:10:11,027
because you see me and Tony
hanging at lunch, shooting hoops?
173
00:10:11,236 --> 00:10:12,320
Well, all right, yeah.
174
00:10:12,529 --> 00:10:16,449
I had been with a man,
and it was Tony.
175
00:10:16,658 --> 00:10:19,160
But I'm... I'm not
a dirty cocksucker.
176
00:10:19,369 --> 00:10:21,371
Can I just have
my test back, please?
177
00:10:22,747 --> 00:10:24,082
Okay.
178
00:10:38,888 --> 00:10:42,142
You double-aced it, right?
I mean, you did, right?
179
00:10:42,350 --> 00:10:43,852
You did. I can tell.
180
00:10:44,060 --> 00:10:46,980
Ooh! It's written all over
your superb little face.
181
00:10:47,188 --> 00:10:49,566
I almost think
we should get ice cream.
182
00:10:49,774 --> 00:10:51,234
Almost.
183
00:10:51,442 --> 00:10:52,861
You know what else
I was thinking?
184
00:10:54,946 --> 00:10:57,365
I was thinking today...
185
00:10:59,117 --> 00:11:00,994
um, I'm gonna go
to Cambridge with you.
186
00:11:02,120 --> 00:11:03,580
I mean, why not?
187
00:11:03,788 --> 00:11:06,332
You're gonna be there
all by yourself. Right?
188
00:11:07,500 --> 00:11:08,334
Right?
189
00:11:10,128 --> 00:11:12,088
Oh, well, it's locked
and zippered.
190
00:11:12,297 --> 00:11:13,631
Well, let's just...
191
00:11:13,840 --> 00:11:15,717
Oh, wait.
Hold on one second.
192
00:11:15,925 --> 00:11:17,510
I have the key!
193
00:11:17,719 --> 00:11:18,970
So I will...
194
00:11:19,179 --> 00:11:21,514
Oh, wow! It is not
budging the vault.
195
00:11:21,723 --> 00:11:22,599
I see.
196
00:11:22,807 --> 00:11:23,725
It's the wrong key, Mom.
197
00:11:27,520 --> 00:11:31,024
Cambridge. Oh, God!
University life.
198
00:11:31,232 --> 00:11:32,984
Hey, you got any
hotties coming in?
199
00:11:33,193 --> 00:11:34,819
No, I don't have
any girlfriends here.
200
00:11:37,071 --> 00:11:38,239
Hey, what's that?
201
00:11:38,448 --> 00:11:39,991
My friend book.
202
00:11:40,200 --> 00:11:43,203
It's like online,
but not online.
203
00:11:43,411 --> 00:11:46,080
As you can see, the top two
spaces are solidly filled,
204
00:11:46,289 --> 00:11:48,625
but the third
is up for grabs.
205
00:11:48,833 --> 00:11:50,752
If you're interested,
I can put you down.
206
00:11:50,960 --> 00:11:53,421
Yeah. Yeah, yeah,
put me down there.
207
00:11:53,630 --> 00:11:55,131
That list should fill up
and go viral.
208
00:11:55,340 --> 00:11:58,009
Okay. I would really
like to cut in.
209
00:11:58,218 --> 00:11:59,010
All right, he's all yours.
210
00:11:59,219 --> 00:11:59,844
- Okay.
- Thanks.
211
00:12:00,053 --> 00:12:02,096
Come here, you.
212
00:12:02,305 --> 00:12:04,933
- This is nice.
- Yeah.
213
00:12:06,309 --> 00:12:07,602
I feel like
a pretty cool kid.
214
00:12:07,810 --> 00:12:09,896
You are such a cool kid.
215
00:12:10,104 --> 00:12:11,731
I hope this is a long song,
'cause Grandma
216
00:12:11,940 --> 00:12:14,234
is chomping at the bit
to dance with you.
217
00:12:14,442 --> 00:12:16,361
You look like
a real man today, Liam.
218
00:12:26,246 --> 00:12:27,538
What?
219
00:12:51,854 --> 00:12:53,147
Good night!
220
00:12:55,817 --> 00:12:56,651
Good night, Mom!
221
00:13:19,590 --> 00:13:21,676
- Go ahead, open it.
- You already did.
222
00:13:21,884 --> 00:13:23,303
Read it.
223
00:13:23,511 --> 00:13:25,346
- Do you know what that means?
- That you opened it?
224
00:13:25,555 --> 00:13:27,765
What else?
225
00:13:27,974 --> 00:13:29,642
That I didn't
graduate high school?
226
00:13:29,851 --> 00:13:32,854
No. You failed!
227
00:13:33,062 --> 00:13:36,399
You failed home-school!
You failed us!
228
00:13:36,607 --> 00:13:38,651
Look, I can take the test
again in four months.
229
00:13:38,860 --> 00:13:42,363
There must be some kind of error.
6% in physics?
230
00:13:42,572 --> 00:13:44,741
Physics, Liam.
You own physics!
231
00:13:44,949 --> 00:13:46,200
Technically,
I don't own physics.
232
00:13:46,409 --> 00:13:47,368
Technically,
physics owns me.
233
00:13:47,577 --> 00:13:49,412
How can you get 6%?
234
00:13:49,620 --> 00:13:51,789
- I caved.
- Caved how?
235
00:13:51,998 --> 00:13:53,458
Under intense
high school pressures.
236
00:13:53,666 --> 00:13:54,709
Bull crap!
237
00:13:54,917 --> 00:13:56,377
You know this stuff.
238
00:13:56,586 --> 00:13:58,379
This is why you've been such
a hush-hush bug. What...
239
00:13:58,588 --> 00:13:59,839
What is it?
240
00:14:00,048 --> 00:14:02,633
- Those questions were hard.
- Bull crap!
241
00:14:02,842 --> 00:14:04,469
And plus, females.
242
00:14:04,677 --> 00:14:06,637
I got all frightened,
and tingly, and--
243
00:14:06,846 --> 00:14:07,638
Whoa.
244
00:14:10,641 --> 00:14:11,768
Hold the telephone.
245
00:14:14,854 --> 00:14:15,855
You're rebelling.
246
00:14:17,106 --> 00:14:18,733
That's what this is.
247
00:14:18,941 --> 00:14:21,444
Oh, my God! I can't...
I can't even look at your face.
248
00:14:21,652 --> 00:14:23,029
You're rebelling so much.
I can't.
249
00:14:23,237 --> 00:14:24,155
- Mom.
- No.
250
00:14:24,364 --> 00:14:25,281
- Mom, look at me.
- No.
251
00:14:25,490 --> 00:14:27,367
- Mom, look at my face.
- No! No!
252
00:14:27,575 --> 00:14:32,413
Look. Mom! I saw some things
that I have never seen before.
253
00:14:33,790 --> 00:14:34,749
I think I need
to fess up here.
254
00:14:34,957 --> 00:14:36,459
Yeah.
255
00:14:36,667 --> 00:14:39,379
I was thinking that maybe
I might make the decision
256
00:14:39,587 --> 00:14:43,049
that it's kinda time for me
to maybe go to public school.
257
00:14:46,052 --> 00:14:49,013
Public school?
Are you trying to kill me?
258
00:14:49,222 --> 00:14:51,474
Liam, I have taught you
more in days
259
00:14:51,682 --> 00:14:53,142
than they could
teach you in years!
260
00:14:53,351 --> 00:14:54,727
Public school?
261
00:14:54,936 --> 00:14:56,687
- Mom, I don't know what to say.
- Baloney!
262
00:14:56,896 --> 00:14:58,231
What 12-year-old boy
263
00:14:58,439 --> 00:15:01,275
teaches blind kids to read
Braille in Cambodia?
264
00:15:01,484 --> 00:15:03,403
You are a man
of the world!
265
00:15:04,695 --> 00:15:06,072
Baby, I don't get it.
266
00:15:06,280 --> 00:15:08,074
Can you just give me...
Give me ten reasons!
267
00:15:49,991 --> 00:15:51,492
I'm sorry.
268
00:15:55,788 --> 00:15:57,457
Now I just wanna
be clear right off the bat.
269
00:15:57,665 --> 00:16:00,460
This is school, right?
270
00:16:00,668 --> 00:16:02,044
We're not just sitting
around the house
271
00:16:02,253 --> 00:16:05,173
learning about pirates
and making volcanoes.
272
00:16:05,381 --> 00:16:08,259
This school is serious.
273
00:16:08,468 --> 00:16:13,306
As in serious gangs
and serious drugs. Yeah.
274
00:16:13,514 --> 00:16:14,807
Sometimes I don't even
wanna walk down the halls.
275
00:16:15,016 --> 00:16:17,560
Some of these guys
are packing heat.
276
00:16:17,768 --> 00:16:20,480
I mean, take for example,
Maria Sanchez. She's...
277
00:16:21,856 --> 00:16:23,065
Yeah, just like you,
278
00:16:23,274 --> 00:16:24,901
straight A's, sweet kid.
279
00:16:25,109 --> 00:16:28,196
But unfortunately,
she just took a leave.
280
00:16:28,404 --> 00:16:29,614
- Because of the drugs?
- No.
281
00:16:29,822 --> 00:16:32,533
She's got a lung thing.
Or no, it's a...
282
00:16:32,742 --> 00:16:34,285
It's a brain thing.
It's one or the other.
283
00:16:34,494 --> 00:16:37,830
It's... I've got it here.
I got it here somewhere.
284
00:16:38,039 --> 00:16:39,790
What's happening?
What's that?
285
00:16:39,999 --> 00:16:42,460
I don't...
Okay, I don't...
286
00:16:42,668 --> 00:16:45,046
You know,
it's a zoo here, okay?
287
00:16:45,254 --> 00:16:47,423
We've got
over 2,000 students.
288
00:16:47,632 --> 00:16:50,760
Right. Well, we tried.
Let's go.
289
00:16:50,968 --> 00:16:52,970
What if I took
the sick girl's spot?
290
00:16:53,179 --> 00:16:54,764
What are you getting at, kid?
291
00:16:54,972 --> 00:16:58,309
Well, if Maria Sanchez is sick,
then I can take her seat,
292
00:16:58,518 --> 00:17:00,311
her classes,
I can do her homework.
293
00:17:00,520 --> 00:17:01,729
I mean,
you have a free space
294
00:17:01,938 --> 00:17:04,690
to experience high school
for one week.
295
00:17:04,899 --> 00:17:06,817
That would save me
a lot of paperwork.
296
00:17:07,026 --> 00:17:08,653
You can't really do that, though.
Can you?
297
00:17:08,861 --> 00:17:10,863
Yeah. No. I mean,
I can do anything
298
00:17:11,072 --> 00:17:13,491
with a memo. Just...
299
00:17:13,699 --> 00:17:17,078
Yeah,
Liam can slide right
300
00:17:17,286 --> 00:17:20,498
into Maria's slot
301
00:17:20,706 --> 00:17:24,126
and take-- take her place
from the...
302
00:17:24,335 --> 00:17:26,587
Um, let's see.
303
00:17:26,796 --> 00:17:29,173
Yeah, go to her classes, sit at
her desk, do her assignments.
304
00:17:29,382 --> 00:17:31,467
This is her class.
That's her class schedule.
305
00:17:31,676 --> 00:17:34,720
And you're gonna need this.
This is her ID.
306
00:17:34,929 --> 00:17:37,640
Modern dance and Phys. Ed.
ls that necessary?
307
00:17:37,848 --> 00:17:42,728
Yeah. Maria Sanchez is
one of our top learners.
308
00:17:42,937 --> 00:17:45,690
This looks like a community
center schedule,
309
00:17:45,898 --> 00:17:50,570
or some kind of assisted
living center schedule.
310
00:17:55,950 --> 00:17:57,743
A little independence.
311
00:17:57,952 --> 00:17:59,036
It's good for you.
312
00:17:59,245 --> 00:18:01,289
This is so hard.
313
00:18:01,497 --> 00:18:02,456
I know.
314
00:18:03,833 --> 00:18:05,960
- Do you have your key?
- Yeah.
315
00:18:06,168 --> 00:18:08,713
- Okay. And your cell?
- Oh, yeah. It's...
316
00:18:08,921 --> 00:18:10,881
Okay.
Right, one last hug.
317
00:18:11,090 --> 00:18:12,883
Okay, final hug. Go.
318
00:18:17,888 --> 00:18:20,057
Okay, hug break.
319
00:18:20,266 --> 00:18:22,059
We're stuck together,
you and me.
320
00:18:22,268 --> 00:18:24,395
- Yeah, forever.
- Forever.
321
00:18:24,604 --> 00:18:25,980
- Well, not forever.
- No, forever.
322
00:18:26,188 --> 00:18:27,481
-Okay.
-Okay.
323
00:18:29,066 --> 00:18:30,026
Okay!
324
00:18:45,958 --> 00:18:46,959
Hey.
325
00:18:48,628 --> 00:18:50,921
- Who're you?
- Hello.
326
00:18:51,130 --> 00:18:52,923
My name's Liam Heap.
I'm here for a week
327
00:18:53,132 --> 00:18:54,884
to win over
the one-legged girl.
328
00:18:55,092 --> 00:18:57,136
And I'm filling in
for Maria Sanchez.
329
00:18:57,345 --> 00:18:58,304
This is her locker?
330
00:18:58,512 --> 00:19:00,890
Yeah, Maria is
my locker buddy,
331
00:19:01,098 --> 00:19:02,808
and you're not
getting the combo.
332
00:19:03,017 --> 00:19:04,560
See, I got
my trophies in there.
333
00:19:05,978 --> 00:19:07,104
Okay, you may
not recognize me,
334
00:19:07,313 --> 00:19:08,814
but I am
the reigning champ
335
00:19:09,023 --> 00:19:10,941
at the Cherry Rock High
Halloween Contest,
336
00:19:11,150 --> 00:19:12,401
four years in a row.
337
00:19:12,610 --> 00:19:13,653
Four years.
338
00:19:13,861 --> 00:19:16,155
I got last year,
the year before that,
339
00:19:16,364 --> 00:19:18,157
the year before that,
and the year before that.
340
00:19:18,366 --> 00:19:19,700
You know
what I'm saying?
341
00:19:19,909 --> 00:19:21,994
That means that
I am the bar.
342
00:19:22,203 --> 00:19:23,120
Yeah.
343
00:19:26,415 --> 00:19:27,875
You like Rigoberto Bianco?
344
00:19:28,084 --> 00:19:30,294
Yeah, is he a wizard or...
345
00:19:30,503 --> 00:19:33,631
No, no. He's like a... He's
like a Spanish Michael Bolton.
346
00:19:40,888 --> 00:19:42,765
Look, I'm here
on a mission.
347
00:19:42,973 --> 00:19:47,019
Right, the one-legged
wonder girl.
348
00:19:47,228 --> 00:19:50,481
I swear, there's a new guy in here
every term chasing after her.
349
00:19:50,690 --> 00:19:52,441
You know, she never told anybody
what happened to her leg.
350
00:19:52,650 --> 00:19:53,734
She saves that.
351
00:19:55,111 --> 00:19:55,778
It's legend.
352
00:19:57,947 --> 00:19:59,031
Anyway, just to be clear...
353
00:20:00,866 --> 00:20:02,451
we're not gonna be friends.
354
00:20:02,660 --> 00:20:03,828
I got enough friends.
355
00:20:05,871 --> 00:20:06,872
Right.
356
00:20:26,517 --> 00:20:28,310
- Corey.
- Here.
357
00:20:28,519 --> 00:20:29,770
- Stephanie.
- Present.
358
00:20:31,355 --> 00:20:32,273
Justine.
359
00:20:32,481 --> 00:20:35,025
Wow! Same class.
360
00:20:35,234 --> 00:20:39,697
Looking at her was like looking
at Arp 273, the rose of galaxies.
361
00:20:44,952 --> 00:20:46,704
Anastasia.
362
00:20:46,912 --> 00:20:49,165
- Rider.
- Anastasia.
363
00:20:49,373 --> 00:20:50,916
- George.
- Present.
364
00:20:51,125 --> 00:20:52,334
Maria.
365
00:20:52,543 --> 00:20:53,627
Maria Sanchez.
366
00:20:53,836 --> 00:20:55,045
Oh, uh, here.
367
00:21:03,053 --> 00:21:04,930
Can I help you, Mr. Teacher?
368
00:21:05,139 --> 00:21:06,640
Maria's five-second
rule experiment.
369
00:21:06,849 --> 00:21:08,309
I expect it
at the end of the term.
370
00:21:08,517 --> 00:21:11,061
No, um, actually,
I'm not Maria Sanchez.
371
00:21:11,270 --> 00:21:13,689
I'm just here for a week.
I'm home-schooled.
372
00:21:13,898 --> 00:21:14,940
Aren't we all?
373
00:21:18,360 --> 00:21:20,488
- Sarah.
- Here.
374
00:21:20,696 --> 00:21:21,614
Harry.
375
00:21:24,325 --> 00:21:25,659
No.
376
00:21:25,868 --> 00:21:26,911
- No.
- Honey?
377
00:21:27,119 --> 00:21:28,496
Not in a classroom.
378
00:21:28,704 --> 00:21:29,872
- It's my mom.
- Liam, are you there?
379
00:21:31,499 --> 00:21:34,168
Hola, mi nombre
es Maria Sanchez.
380
00:21:35,628 --> 00:21:37,296
No,
I'm Maria Sanchez.
381
00:21:37,505 --> 00:21:39,882
She has, like, a lung or a brain thing.
It's pretty bad.
382
00:22:19,964 --> 00:22:22,633
J"Ah
383
00:22:25,594 --> 00:22:28,180
J"Ah
384
00:22:48,909 --> 00:22:49,952
on!
385
00:22:57,084 --> 00:22:58,210
Hi, penis breath.
386
00:22:58,419 --> 00:22:59,795
Where's Maria?
387
00:23:00,004 --> 00:23:03,090
Oh, she's sick with a lung
and a brain thing.
388
00:23:03,299 --> 00:23:05,551
It's at... My name is actually
not "penis breath," it's Liam.
389
00:23:05,759 --> 00:23:07,177
I'm BDC.
390
00:23:07,386 --> 00:23:11,015
- BDC?
- Brian Denis Chad.
391
00:23:11,223 --> 00:23:13,309
That's like three
first names, sort of.
392
00:23:13,517 --> 00:23:16,562
No. That's a first,
middle, and last.
393
00:23:16,770 --> 00:23:18,689
Yeah, in that...
In your case, yeah.
394
00:23:24,987 --> 00:23:28,324
Earthquake, Maria!
395
00:23:30,075 --> 00:23:30,743
Good.
396
00:23:57,519 --> 00:23:59,355
Hello!
397
00:23:59,563 --> 00:24:02,232
Liam, hello. Honey, is
everything all right?
398
00:24:03,734 --> 00:24:06,487
Liam? Hello?
399
00:24:06,695 --> 00:24:09,740
Hey, Mom. No, it's fine.
400
00:24:09,949 --> 00:24:12,076
It was a wrong number. Sorry,
I didn't mean to call you.
401
00:24:12,284 --> 00:24:14,328
Oh. Okay,
I love you, sweetie.
402
00:24:14,536 --> 00:24:15,955
I love you, too. Bye.
403
00:24:33,973 --> 00:24:36,684
You're an even bigger
nerd than me.
404
00:24:36,892 --> 00:24:41,271
Oh, yeah, I just figured
I'd warm my pants up. Toasty.
405
00:24:41,480 --> 00:24:45,776
Oh, I forget to tell you
BDC is an asshole.
406
00:24:45,985 --> 00:24:47,987
Yeah,
I figured that out.
407
00:24:48,195 --> 00:24:50,531
So, what? Everybody
calls me "Maria" now?
408
00:24:50,739 --> 00:24:54,451
It's caught on pretty fast.
I mean, your name's Maria now.
409
00:24:54,660 --> 00:24:56,203
It's pretty. Work with it.
410
00:25:06,422 --> 00:25:10,050
Hey, new kid on the block.
411
00:25:17,307 --> 00:25:19,143
- She has a limp?
- Yeah.
412
00:25:19,351 --> 00:25:22,396
A real irregular gait.
Not weird, just irregular,
413
00:25:22,604 --> 00:25:24,606
like she puts all of her
movement onto her strongest leg.
414
00:25:24,815 --> 00:25:27,568
Kinda like one of those gimpy
dogs that has all that courage.
415
00:25:27,776 --> 00:25:30,362
Liam, are you sure
that this girl is real?
416
00:25:30,571 --> 00:25:32,906
She kinda reminds me of a
cyborg, but she's very real.
417
00:25:33,115 --> 00:25:35,451
- Did she say anything else to you?
- Yeah, I told you.
418
00:25:35,659 --> 00:25:38,579
She looked at me and then
she smiled like this.
419
00:25:38,787 --> 00:25:41,123
And then she said,
"Ooh, hello there, you."
420
00:25:43,375 --> 00:25:46,295
- I think she likes you.
- Whoa!
421
00:25:46,503 --> 00:25:48,213
Okay, uh,
422
00:25:48,422 --> 00:25:51,800
wow, wow, wow, wow, wow,
wow, wow, wow, wow, wow!
423
00:25:52,009 --> 00:25:55,095
Uh, I don't know.
That's... Mmm, okay.
424
00:25:55,304 --> 00:25:57,014
I knew this would happen.
425
00:25:57,222 --> 00:25:59,641
I mean, if I'd had a girl,
she would stay with me forever,
426
00:25:59,850 --> 00:26:01,643
like, even after
she got married.
427
00:26:01,852 --> 00:26:05,064
But a guy like you, meet a girl
and then you're gone.
428
00:26:05,272 --> 00:26:07,232
- What? That's not true.
- Yeah, it is true.
429
00:26:07,441 --> 00:26:09,276
Grandma warned me it was gonna
happen, and she was right.
430
00:26:09,485 --> 00:26:12,780
Grandma, that's not true.
Mom, you're my best friend.
431
00:26:14,031 --> 00:26:15,783
I love you infinity.
432
00:26:15,991 --> 00:26:18,827
- That's a long time.
- Yeah, it's the most.
433
00:26:27,669 --> 00:26:29,463
It wasn't
until the next day
434
00:26:29,671 --> 00:26:33,926
that I realized in that one
minute between 1:44 and 1:45,
435
00:26:34,134 --> 00:26:37,054
right near the southwest
handicapped bathroom,
436
00:26:37,262 --> 00:26:38,305
we would pass each other.
437
00:26:38,514 --> 00:26:39,515
Hi!
438
00:26:41,016 --> 00:26:43,102
Every day.
439
00:26:49,608 --> 00:26:51,026
Hello.
440
00:26:54,488 --> 00:26:55,906
Hey!
441
00:26:58,325 --> 00:26:59,576
Hey!
442
00:27:10,087 --> 00:27:11,130
Whoo!
443
00:27:19,221 --> 00:27:22,558
Are you... Can I ask?
444
00:27:22,766 --> 00:27:25,435
- Mmm-hmm. Yeah.
- We haven't really talked about this.
445
00:27:25,644 --> 00:27:27,312
I just feel like you're
moving so fast already.
446
00:27:28,981 --> 00:27:30,232
Are you thinking about
sleeping with her?
447
00:27:30,440 --> 00:27:32,484
Oh, Mom! I mean,
Grandma's right here.
448
00:27:32,693 --> 00:27:34,570
She's eating.
She's not listening.
449
00:27:34,778 --> 00:27:37,489
- Grandma, you want a fire truck?
- Yes, dear.
450
00:27:37,698 --> 00:27:38,991
Okay, so, are you
thinking of sex?
451
00:27:40,826 --> 00:27:42,452
Yes, honey.
452
00:27:42,661 --> 00:27:44,788
- No, Mom, I'm talking to Liam.
- I mean, no.
453
00:27:44,997 --> 00:27:46,790
No, I mean, I was sort of
thinking about touching her leg,
454
00:27:46,999 --> 00:27:49,126
touching her leg at school is
sort of like a legend, so...
455
00:27:49,334 --> 00:27:52,212
Liam, I'm not stupid.
No one celebrates virginity.
456
00:27:52,421 --> 00:27:53,255
I mean, we should.
457
00:27:54,756 --> 00:27:56,508
- High five!
- Right?
458
00:27:56,717 --> 00:27:58,886
Yeah! Now, I know I'm a mom,
459
00:27:59,094 --> 00:28:01,471
but I know you boys
think about it,
460
00:28:01,680 --> 00:28:03,974
I change your sheets, and I know the
pressure you put on yourselves,
461
00:28:04,183 --> 00:28:05,893
but listen, I mean,
462
00:28:06,101 --> 00:28:09,396
you guys have gone so far
already that I think, you know,
463
00:28:09,605 --> 00:28:10,814
I think she might be...
464
00:28:12,065 --> 00:28:13,525
-a bit of a whore.
- Whoa!
465
00:28:13,734 --> 00:28:15,485
- I mean, I hate
that I had to say that.
466
00:28:17,571 --> 00:28:19,281
You know, I think maybe I should
eat lunch in the cafeteria.
467
00:28:19,489 --> 00:28:21,325
So you can have lunch
with the one-legged girl?
468
00:28:21,533 --> 00:28:23,452
Well, it just doesn't seem
like a lot of other moms
469
00:28:23,660 --> 00:28:25,120
are here with
their kids at school.
470
00:28:25,329 --> 00:28:27,122
That cafeteria serves
homeless-person food.
471
00:28:27,331 --> 00:28:29,166
I'm adding years
to your life here.
472
00:28:29,374 --> 00:28:31,710
Well, I just feel like maybe I should
eat lunch with the other students.
473
00:28:31,919 --> 00:28:33,670
If you were having lunch with
a guy, I'd be fine with that.
474
00:28:33,879 --> 00:28:35,505
You'd be fine if your mom
was dude-dating?
475
00:28:35,714 --> 00:28:36,840
Yeah, yeah, I would.
476
00:28:37,049 --> 00:28:38,800
I mean, if he was
a nice gentleman.
477
00:28:39,009 --> 00:28:41,303
- Okay, but-- - I'm not
allowed to have sugar.
478
00:28:41,511 --> 00:28:44,014
No, you can have sugar.
479
00:28:44,223 --> 00:28:47,726
I don't care. Makes you
grumpy-pants, but... Whatever.
480
00:28:47,935 --> 00:28:50,395
Okay. Well, I'm gonna stealth out of the
car and you're not gonna be able to see me
481
00:28:50,604 --> 00:28:51,647
'cause I'm gonna be
so stealthy. Ninja.
482
00:28:54,274 --> 00:28:55,943
Liam, you left the door open!
483
00:28:59,154 --> 00:29:00,906
God damn it!
484
00:29:02,950 --> 00:29:06,328
Ugh! Dang it!
485
00:29:10,874 --> 00:29:11,833
Ugh!
486
00:29:29,935 --> 00:29:31,061
Oh! Hey, Maria.
487
00:29:31,270 --> 00:29:33,897
I actually just
called you last night
488
00:29:34,106 --> 00:29:37,609
and I got some Spanish
Antonio Banderas guy.
489
00:29:37,818 --> 00:29:40,320
- Is that your dad?
- No, that's probably Maria's number.
490
00:29:40,529 --> 00:29:41,947
- Oh, yeah! Right. I didn't--
- Spanish, yeah.
491
00:29:42,155 --> 00:29:43,365
I don't speak Spanish,
so I didn't...
492
00:29:43,573 --> 00:29:44,783
Didn't occur to me, yeah.
493
00:29:44,992 --> 00:29:46,493
Oh! Uh, shoot, I better go.
494
00:29:46,702 --> 00:29:48,328
I have to say hi to a girl.
495
00:29:48,537 --> 00:29:49,538
Yeah, me, too. Oh, hey!
One second.
496
00:29:49,746 --> 00:29:50,539
I actually
do need your number,
497
00:29:50,747 --> 00:29:51,748
your mother's number.
498
00:29:51,957 --> 00:29:53,166
Oh, okay.
499
00:29:53,375 --> 00:29:55,961
Oh, okay, now,
I can call this nu...
500
00:29:56,169 --> 00:29:57,629
I can speak to your...
501
00:29:57,838 --> 00:30:00,173
- To your... Your dad?
- Nope, just my mom.
502
00:30:00,382 --> 00:30:02,384
Fuck yeah! Okay. Yeah,
it's just procedural stuff.
503
00:30:02,592 --> 00:30:04,594
I figured out
that at 1:58 p.m.,
504
00:30:04,803 --> 00:30:06,596
if I cut through the gym
to the east hall,
505
00:30:06,805 --> 00:30:09,224
I would pass her again,
get one more hello.
506
00:30:19,401 --> 00:30:22,321
Oh, hey! Deja vu.
507
00:30:27,868 --> 00:30:29,202
- Hey!
- Hey!
508
00:30:29,411 --> 00:30:31,538
Hey!
You ready to go home, bucko?
509
00:30:31,747 --> 00:30:34,333
Actually,
I have badminton practice.
510
00:30:34,541 --> 00:30:38,128
Badminton? What? But you've done the week.
We said one week.
511
00:30:38,337 --> 00:30:40,339
Yeah, the badminton team
needs me.
512
00:30:41,590 --> 00:30:44,718
Sanchez. Bad.
513
00:30:46,303 --> 00:30:48,638
So I'm just gonna
go practice after
514
00:30:48,847 --> 00:30:52,225
and then maybe just
a few more months of school.
515
00:30:52,434 --> 00:30:54,478
A few more months?
Are you joking?
516
00:30:54,686 --> 00:30:57,606
I just maybe feel
like I needed to adjust,
517
00:30:57,814 --> 00:31:00,525
and then I'll rewrite the exam
and I'll double-ace it,
518
00:31:00,734 --> 00:31:02,694
and I'll go to Cambridge and
I'll study with Stephen Hawking.
519
00:31:02,903 --> 00:31:04,988
It's just a little bit of
badminton at school. It's fine.
520
00:31:05,197 --> 00:31:06,573
Jump in the car
and we'll talk.
521
00:31:06,782 --> 00:31:08,825
Well, I have to practice
right now, like right now.
522
00:31:09,034 --> 00:31:10,619
But the... It's fish Friday!
523
00:31:12,579 --> 00:31:14,831
- It is?
- Well, it's Friday.
524
00:31:15,040 --> 00:31:16,958
- Well, what kinda fish?
- Rainbow trout.
525
00:31:18,377 --> 00:31:20,045
No, I... Sorry,
I gotta go to badminton.
526
00:31:20,253 --> 00:31:21,963
Sorry, Mom. I love you.
Bye, save some for me.
527
00:31:31,598 --> 00:31:33,350
What are you doing here?
528
00:31:33,558 --> 00:31:34,684
Badminton. You?
529
00:31:34,893 --> 00:31:37,354
Badminton.
Where'd you get that?
530
00:31:37,562 --> 00:31:39,898
- Over there.
-lt's game.
531
00:31:40,107 --> 00:31:41,650
- When... What?
-lt's game.
532
00:31:41,858 --> 00:31:43,402
- What do you mean?
-lt's lingo.
533
00:31:43,610 --> 00:31:47,072
- Lingo for the game?
- No, lingo for the racket.
534
00:31:47,280 --> 00:31:48,907
The racket is game.
535
00:31:54,079 --> 00:31:55,080
Who are they?
536
00:32:04,589 --> 00:32:06,550
They're the angels of death.
537
00:32:19,896 --> 00:32:22,107
- Liam?
- No, this is Mr. Kelly, the principal.
538
00:32:22,315 --> 00:32:26,528
Uh, Listen,
I know your boy, Maria--
539
00:32:26,736 --> 00:32:28,613
Liam. His name is Liam.
ls he okay?
540
00:32:28,822 --> 00:32:31,450
Right. Yeah, of course,
he goes by Liam at home.
541
00:32:31,658 --> 00:32:33,660
Yeah, no, he's fine,
he's okay.
542
00:32:33,869 --> 00:32:38,790
Uh, like, I understand him staying on.
You know, off the record, um,
543
00:32:38,999 --> 00:32:44,129
I'm single, and, you know, I remember
the other week you came by and you,
544
00:32:44,337 --> 00:32:46,089
uh, over by the trophy case,
you were asking me
545
00:32:46,298 --> 00:32:48,133
if I was impressed
with your homeschooling
546
00:32:48,341 --> 00:32:50,719
and I just wanted to say,
"Yeah, I am."
547
00:32:53,430 --> 00:32:54,931
What?
548
00:32:55,140 --> 00:32:56,391
lam. Hello?
549
00:32:56,600 --> 00:32:59,811
- Is that...
- Uh!
550
00:33:00,020 --> 00:33:01,480
Uh...
551
00:33:03,356 --> 00:33:07,569
Mmm-mmm... Hmm...
552
00:33:07,777 --> 00:33:09,279
Mmm, mmm, mmm...
553
00:33:09,488 --> 00:33:11,823
Oh!
554
00:33:36,264 --> 00:33:37,766
Maria, I swear to God.
555
00:33:42,562 --> 00:33:43,730
Come on!
556
00:33:50,111 --> 00:33:52,614
- Nice game, Maria.
- Hit the showers, boys.
557
00:33:54,991 --> 00:33:57,410
Yeah, right.
I shower alone.
558
00:34:04,876 --> 00:34:08,380
Ah! I'm like
the moon or something
559
00:34:08,588 --> 00:34:10,757
slowly moving away
from Mother Earth.
560
00:34:10,966 --> 00:34:13,009
3.87 centimeters
a year, actually.
561
00:34:13,218 --> 00:34:14,678
It's a thing. It really is.
562
00:34:19,891 --> 00:34:21,101
Thanks for the fish.
563
00:34:25,313 --> 00:34:26,147
Yeah, sure.
564
00:34:32,779 --> 00:34:35,282
I love you infinity.
565
00:34:54,175 --> 00:34:56,553
- Hey.
- Okey.
566
00:34:57,721 --> 00:34:59,764
I hear you loud and clear,
567
00:34:59,973 --> 00:35:01,850
and I know why you wanna
stay at school
568
00:35:02,058 --> 00:35:03,476
until the end of the term.
569
00:35:03,685 --> 00:35:06,229
You're rebelling
with a capital R,
570
00:35:06,438 --> 00:35:10,609
and I think it's a good thing, a necessary
thing for our success at Cambridge.
571
00:35:10,817 --> 00:35:14,195
So let's do it now together
572
00:35:14,404 --> 00:35:17,574
and get it out of your
system before university
573
00:35:17,782 --> 00:35:20,368
in a safe and
responsible way, okay?
574
00:35:20,577 --> 00:35:22,245
Do what together?
575
00:35:22,454 --> 00:35:23,913
RebeL
576
00:35:24,122 --> 00:35:25,915
Your rebellion.
577
00:35:26,124 --> 00:35:27,542
I want you to have friends,
578
00:35:27,751 --> 00:35:30,170
teach you your
teenage rebellion.
579
00:35:30,378 --> 00:35:31,588
Just when I think I know you,
580
00:35:31,796 --> 00:35:33,590
you surprise the living
bejesus out of me.
581
00:35:33,798 --> 00:35:35,050
Thank you.
582
00:35:35,258 --> 00:35:37,719
Why is it weird to say
my mom's cool
583
00:35:37,927 --> 00:35:39,596
and she's my best friend?
584
00:35:41,431 --> 00:35:43,475
- It's not weird.
- No, it is.
585
00:35:45,685 --> 00:35:47,354
At school, moms aren't cool.
586
00:35:51,399 --> 00:35:52,233
They should be.
587
00:35:54,903 --> 00:35:55,820
I love you.
588
00:35:57,364 --> 00:35:59,324
Beep boop,
my little robot man.
589
00:35:59,532 --> 00:36:01,201
Oh, beep hoop.
590
00:36:01,409 --> 00:36:05,872
You power down now.
You got work tomorrow.
591
00:36:06,081 --> 00:36:08,375
- Beep boop, mmm.
- You're still buzzing.
592
00:36:08,583 --> 00:36:09,626
Beep hoop, oh!
593
00:36:11,044 --> 00:36:13,338
Okay, brainstorming.
594
00:36:13,546 --> 00:36:15,757
What are outlets
that teens rebel with?
595
00:36:17,175 --> 00:36:19,928
- Liam.
- Swimming after I eat.
596
00:36:20,136 --> 00:36:22,430
I think you could think
a little bit bigger.
597
00:36:22,639 --> 00:36:24,516
- Mmm.
- Liam.
598
00:36:24,724 --> 00:36:26,976
Um, not wearing pants.
599
00:36:27,185 --> 00:36:31,314
Mm, how about
staying out late?
600
00:36:31,523 --> 00:36:32,607
That's good.
601
00:36:34,275 --> 00:36:35,110
With girls.
602
00:36:36,486 --> 00:36:38,154
- Ooh.
- Skipping school.
603
00:36:39,614 --> 00:36:42,659
Ooh. Uh, ooh, ooh, ooh!
Uh, swearing.
604
00:36:42,867 --> 00:36:44,994
Bingo, bango. Yes.
605
00:36:47,080 --> 00:36:49,541
- Getting my nose pierced.
- No way. No way.
606
00:36:49,749 --> 00:36:52,502
That is permanent. Why don't
we start with swearing?
607
00:36:52,711 --> 00:36:54,921
Go ahead. Say the big one.
608
00:36:55,130 --> 00:36:56,297
Dicks.
609
00:36:56,506 --> 00:36:58,967
Why would you say that?
Say the big one.
610
00:36:59,175 --> 00:37:01,302
The "F" one with the...
611
00:37:01,511 --> 00:37:03,263
Fuck.
612
00:37:04,514 --> 00:37:06,099
- What?
- Fuck.
613
00:37:06,307 --> 00:37:07,934
I didn't quite hear you.
614
00:37:09,936 --> 00:37:12,856
- Fuck.
- So weird to hear you say that.
615
00:37:13,064 --> 00:37:14,274
- Okay, say it again.
- Fuck.
616
00:37:14,482 --> 00:37:15,859
- With conviction!
- Fuck!
617
00:37:16,067 --> 00:37:20,071
- Like an afro singer.
- Fuck!
618
00:37:20,280 --> 00:37:22,449
Now point to that book
and say, "Fuck off, book!"
619
00:37:22,657 --> 00:37:25,618
-"Fuck off, book!"
- Yeah, do it again, uh...
620
00:37:25,827 --> 00:37:27,495
- Fuck you, uh, chalkboard.
- Yeah!
621
00:37:27,704 --> 00:37:29,122
Fuck you, chalk.
622
00:37:29,330 --> 00:37:30,582
Fuck you, chair.
Fuck you, table.
623
00:37:30,790 --> 00:37:31,958
Fuck you, highlighters.
624
00:37:32,167 --> 00:37:33,418
Fuck you, pencil,
fuck you, red pens,
625
00:37:33,626 --> 00:37:35,128
fuck you, black pens,
fuck you, blue pens.
626
00:37:35,336 --> 00:37:38,423
- And fuck you--
- No, don't you effing dare.
627
00:37:38,631 --> 00:37:40,800
No, "F" for fail.
628
00:37:42,469 --> 00:37:43,386
Sorry.
629
00:37:44,804 --> 00:37:45,638
I forgive you.
630
00:37:48,975 --> 00:37:52,145
Now that word is also a verb.
631
00:37:53,480 --> 00:37:55,982
Liam, I can see it written
632
00:37:56,191 --> 00:37:57,484
all over your face
633
00:37:57,692 --> 00:37:59,527
and there is no easy
way to do this.
634
00:38:00,904 --> 00:38:02,113
When I say "Trojan,"
635
00:38:02,322 --> 00:38:03,907
what is your first thought?
636
00:38:07,410 --> 00:38:10,538
The ancient city of Troy,
Hector and Achilles,
637
00:38:10,747 --> 00:38:13,124
the Greek and Trojan soldiers
famous for their bravery
638
00:38:13,333 --> 00:38:16,586
in battle and their
seven-layered ox-hide shields.
639
00:38:19,672 --> 00:38:21,299
And sodomy.
640
00:38:21,508 --> 00:38:24,302
So the Trojans are still
very much alive today.
641
00:38:24,511 --> 00:38:26,262
They are living in there.
642
00:38:26,471 --> 00:38:29,724
Think of that as
a one-layer latex shield.
643
00:38:29,933 --> 00:38:32,435
Who would go into battle without one
of those on their penis, right?
644
00:38:32,644 --> 00:38:34,604
- Right, that's a good point.
- Okay, so...
645
00:38:36,356 --> 00:38:40,151
I want you to practice
in here alone in the dark.
646
00:38:42,529 --> 00:38:43,613
I'll be in the kitchen
if you need me.
647
00:38:50,078 --> 00:38:51,913
Oh, hello, Anastasia.
648
00:38:52,121 --> 00:38:53,915
You see, I have
this condom here.
649
00:38:54,123 --> 00:38:56,835
I was wondering if you'd like
to have intercourse with me.
650
00:38:57,043 --> 00:38:58,545
Oh, you would?
651
00:38:58,753 --> 00:38:59,546
Great.
652
00:39:12,600 --> 00:39:14,727
- Mom?
- Yeah.
653
00:39:14,936 --> 00:39:16,104
Eight seconds.
654
00:39:18,815 --> 00:39:21,860
I don't know what
happened, but eventually her...
655
00:39:22,068 --> 00:39:22,694
Hello!
656
00:39:24,362 --> 00:39:25,697
...turned into...
- Hey.
657
00:39:27,073 --> 00:39:28,408
...which then became...
658
00:39:30,118 --> 00:39:31,536
Until finally...
659
00:39:37,500 --> 00:39:41,212
We were a 110%
off each other.
660
00:39:41,421 --> 00:39:43,131
Wow. Crazy.
661
00:39:44,757 --> 00:39:48,094
Oh, frig! Oh, frig!
662
00:40:01,900 --> 00:40:02,984
You look like
you need a hug.
663
00:40:05,570 --> 00:40:08,406
No, no, no, I'm not allowed
to touch the students.
664
00:40:08,615 --> 00:40:09,949
But you definitely look
like you need a hug.
665
00:40:15,246 --> 00:40:17,457
Come with me.
Let's talk about your future.
666
00:40:19,459 --> 00:40:21,044
So what did you say
this was called again?
667
00:40:21,252 --> 00:40:22,170
Astronomy.
668
00:40:22,378 --> 00:40:24,797
Astronomy. Astronomy.
669
00:40:25,006 --> 00:40:30,511
I don't see astronomy in here,
but I do see massage therapy.
670
00:40:30,720 --> 00:40:32,180
Yeah, I was thinking
more astronomy.
671
00:40:32,388 --> 00:40:33,848
Yeah, but you could
get your certificate
672
00:40:34,057 --> 00:40:35,600
in eight months
and you're done.
673
00:40:35,808 --> 00:40:37,060
Okay.
674
00:40:37,268 --> 00:40:38,895
Besides, you look like
a massage therapist.
675
00:40:39,103 --> 00:40:41,356
Do you know how good that is?
You get to touch people.
676
00:40:41,564 --> 00:40:43,858
I can't touch anybody here.
I'm just saying,
677
00:40:44,067 --> 00:40:44,859
you gotta keep your
options open, you know?
678
00:40:45,068 --> 00:40:46,402
You know, a few years ago,
679
00:40:46,611 --> 00:40:48,529
there was a kid who did
a string of B-and-E's.
680
00:40:48,738 --> 00:40:50,698
He got sent to the state pen
for three years.
681
00:40:50,907 --> 00:40:53,868
But he fast-tracked
a sociology degree for free.
682
00:40:54,077 --> 00:40:55,244
I'm not saying that's the
route you need to go,
683
00:40:55,453 --> 00:40:56,829
but something
to think about.
684
00:40:57,038 --> 00:40:58,164
You know, my whole life,
685
00:40:58,373 --> 00:40:59,791
all I've wanted
to do is astronomy.
686
00:40:59,999 --> 00:41:01,334
All right.
Why don't we do this?
687
00:41:01,542 --> 00:41:03,836
Why don't we take
our personality/job test
688
00:41:04,045 --> 00:41:06,130
on the computer,
and see what that says?
689
00:41:07,757 --> 00:41:08,591
Okay.
690
00:41:10,009 --> 00:41:11,469
Hey, that... The guy
691
00:41:11,678 --> 00:41:13,179
who did the B-and-E's
692
00:41:13,388 --> 00:41:17,183
and then went to jail,
uh, what did he become?
693
00:41:23,481 --> 00:41:24,774
At a party, do you interact
694
00:41:24,983 --> 00:41:27,735
with everyone, few, yourself?
695
00:41:32,323 --> 00:41:33,032
Everyone.
696
00:41:34,659 --> 00:41:36,119
Yourself, C.
697
00:41:36,327 --> 00:41:38,329
Do you walk with big steps,
698
00:41:38,538 --> 00:41:39,664
varied steps, little steps?
699
00:41:45,503 --> 00:41:46,462
Big steps!
700
00:41:48,131 --> 00:41:49,507
Little steps.
701
00:41:49,716 --> 00:41:52,802
When meeting new people,
do you introduce yourself,
702
00:41:53,011 --> 00:41:54,762
wait to be introduced,
be silent?
703
00:41:59,225 --> 00:42:01,853
You introduce yourself.
704
00:42:02,061 --> 00:42:03,271
Be silent.
705
00:42:11,571 --> 00:42:14,365
Ugh, why can't I
be the guy who picks A?
706
00:42:15,867 --> 00:42:17,535
Oh,
look at that 'stache!
707
00:42:17,744 --> 00:42:20,038
Okay, Liam, it is... It is the
easiest thing in the world
708
00:42:20,246 --> 00:42:21,039
to entertain a woman.
709
00:42:21,247 --> 00:42:22,457
Honestly, you just
710
00:42:22,665 --> 00:42:24,292
ask her questions about herself.
711
00:42:24,500 --> 00:42:26,753
Get her talking.
Pretend I'm Anastasia, okay?
712
00:42:26,961 --> 00:42:28,129
You're not Anastasia.
713
00:42:28,337 --> 00:42:31,007
You are Liam, I'm Anastasia!
714
00:42:31,215 --> 00:42:33,885
- Comment on my looks.
- You look like my mom.
715
00:42:34,093 --> 00:42:36,596
Well, I'll take that as a compliment.
716
00:42:36,804 --> 00:42:39,891
Do you wanna talk
about my... my smile?
717
00:42:40,099 --> 00:42:41,684
You have a nice smile.
It makes me smile.
718
00:42:41,893 --> 00:42:44,187
Do you wanna say something
about how I smell?
719
00:42:46,689 --> 00:42:47,523
You smell like my mom.
720
00:42:47,732 --> 00:42:49,692
Well, your mom smells good.
721
00:42:49,901 --> 00:42:51,652
Look, Anastasia,
don't you think
722
00:42:51,861 --> 00:42:53,446
it's a little a bit weird
that my mom
723
00:42:53,654 --> 00:42:54,572
is on a date with us?
724
00:42:56,699 --> 00:43:00,369
No, I think that you
have a very cool mother.
725
00:43:00,578 --> 00:43:02,330
Yeah, who has a loser
for a son.
726
00:43:12,131 --> 00:43:13,800
Liam! What are you doing?
727
00:43:14,008 --> 00:43:15,551
Something I should have
done a long time ago.
728
00:43:40,368 --> 00:43:42,411
- Maria.
- Oh, great.
729
00:43:42,620 --> 00:43:44,497
I got your personality
and job match back.
730
00:43:45,665 --> 00:43:46,916
Good news!
731
00:43:47,125 --> 00:43:49,794
You know, some stories
have a sad ending.
732
00:43:50,002 --> 00:43:53,714
This one, I believe,
is a very happy ending.
733
00:43:53,923 --> 00:43:55,758
Massage therapist,
just like I thought.
734
00:43:59,637 --> 00:44:01,556
What's wrong?
Come on in. Sit down.
735
00:44:03,683 --> 00:44:05,685
- It's your father, isn't it?
- No.
736
00:44:05,893 --> 00:44:08,020
- What did your father do?
- Nothing.
737
00:44:08,229 --> 00:44:10,314
It's okay.
Those are tough questions.
738
00:44:10,523 --> 00:44:12,441
It's a girl thing.
It's a girl problem.
739
00:44:12,650 --> 00:44:14,193
I have a problem with a girl.
740
00:44:14,402 --> 00:44:15,444
Oh, it's a girl problem.
741
00:44:18,364 --> 00:44:21,159
See this cup?
This cup is you.
742
00:44:21,367 --> 00:44:25,746
- Okay.
- Sweet, precious, gentle.
743
00:44:25,955 --> 00:44:27,123
It's got a heart.
744
00:44:31,377 --> 00:44:33,045
Do not share your cup
with someone
745
00:44:33,254 --> 00:44:34,797
unless you're ready
to have it smashed.
746
00:44:37,466 --> 00:44:38,301
Now put it back together.
747
00:44:45,057 --> 00:44:45,892
I can't put it
back together.
748
00:44:51,272 --> 00:44:53,107
Hey, kid!
You want some candy?
749
00:44:53,316 --> 00:44:55,151
- Mom? Hey!
- Come on.
750
00:44:55,359 --> 00:44:57,612
I got some good shit in here.
751
00:44:57,820 --> 00:44:59,697
- What are you talking about?
- Come on, kid, get in the car.
752
00:44:59,906 --> 00:45:01,115
You're being weird.
753
00:45:01,324 --> 00:45:02,533
What are you? A pussy?
754
00:45:02,742 --> 00:45:03,451
Pussy, pussy, pussy, PUSSY,
755
00:45:03,659 --> 00:45:05,036
pussy, pussy, pussy, pussy!
756
00:45:05,244 --> 00:45:06,787
All right.
757
00:45:08,706 --> 00:45:11,667
I can't believe you got
in the car so quickly!
758
00:45:11,876 --> 00:45:14,378
- What if I was a pervert?
- What? You're my mom.
759
00:45:14,587 --> 00:45:16,505
- What is that?
- Weed.
760
00:45:16,714 --> 00:45:18,424
Okay, now you're bound
761
00:45:18,633 --> 00:45:19,967
to get pressured into it
at some point,
762
00:45:20,176 --> 00:45:21,677
so let's just try it now
763
00:45:21,886 --> 00:45:22,970
in a safe environment.
764
00:45:23,179 --> 00:45:24,430
Well, where did you--
where did you--
765
00:45:24,639 --> 00:45:25,932
Where did you get this?
766
00:45:27,850 --> 00:45:30,228
Where-- ls this a...
767
00:45:30,436 --> 00:45:31,687
This is a test.
768
00:45:31,896 --> 00:45:33,022
This is a test.
769
00:45:33,231 --> 00:45:35,524
- No. Say "no" to drugs.
- No, no.
770
00:45:35,733 --> 00:45:36,943
No, honey, it's not a test.
771
00:45:37,151 --> 00:45:39,779
This is a-- This is
a supervised first try.
772
00:45:41,280 --> 00:45:42,698
It's called a "hotbox."
773
00:45:42,907 --> 00:45:44,951
You get, like, a little bit
of a better high,
774
00:45:45,159 --> 00:45:46,702
because it's like
you're in a box.
775
00:45:46,911 --> 00:45:48,120
You serious? Yeah, I know.
776
00:45:48,329 --> 00:45:49,789
No, I know the physics of it.
777
00:45:49,997 --> 00:45:51,290
I just don't know the ethics.
778
00:45:52,750 --> 00:45:53,417
Are you...
779
00:45:56,420 --> 00:45:57,380
You shouldn't sm--
780
00:46:00,758 --> 00:46:01,425
Ooh!
781
00:46:03,427 --> 00:46:04,095
It's burny.
782
00:46:05,972 --> 00:46:07,640
It's Bernie Sanders.
783
00:46:07,848 --> 00:46:09,767
Are we gonna get--
Um, are we gonna get
784
00:46:09,976 --> 00:46:11,602
caught or busted or...
785
00:46:11,811 --> 00:46:13,396
No, you're with me and Grandma.
786
00:46:13,604 --> 00:46:14,981
Here, take a hit.
787
00:46:15,189 --> 00:46:17,733
Is it indica or sativa
or ruderalis?
788
00:46:17,942 --> 00:46:19,610
I don't know.
789
00:46:19,819 --> 00:46:21,279
Well, they have
different THC levels.
790
00:46:21,487 --> 00:46:23,030
Well, go ahead and hurry up
and hit it.
791
00:46:23,239 --> 00:46:24,407
I don't wanna get caught.
792
00:46:31,539 --> 00:46:32,331
What do you mean,
get caught?
793
00:46:32,540 --> 00:46:33,624
I thought this was...
794
00:46:33,833 --> 00:46:34,709
I thought it was prescription.
795
00:46:34,917 --> 00:46:36,168
- Grandma?
- Mm-hmm.
796
00:46:36,377 --> 00:46:38,963
- Well, it's legal for her.
- But not for us?
797
00:46:39,171 --> 00:46:41,549
Technically... Technically, no.
798
00:46:44,385 --> 00:46:46,971
-- Oh, my God!
He scared me.
799
00:46:47,179 --> 00:46:48,681
Hide that. Hide the joint!
Hide the joint!
800
00:46:53,311 --> 00:46:54,895
- Hey, hi.
- Hello.
801
00:46:55,104 --> 00:46:57,023
- Hello.
- Principal Kelly!
802
00:46:57,231 --> 00:47:00,318
Wow! It definitely smells
like marijuana in here.
803
00:47:00,526 --> 00:47:03,904
Yeah, Grandma's arthritis
is a real knock-out.
804
00:47:04,113 --> 00:47:05,823
- Oh! Hi, Grandma!
-lt's Grandma.
805
00:47:06,032 --> 00:47:07,825
Yeah. Look, I'm no
disciplinarian, okay?
806
00:47:08,034 --> 00:47:09,160
- Thank God!
- I just play one for work.
807
00:47:09,368 --> 00:47:11,245
- So, I'm fun a guy.
- Yeah.
808
00:47:11,454 --> 00:47:14,874
Um, listen, I wanna just...
We got disconnected before
809
00:47:15,082 --> 00:47:17,793
and I would just love
810
00:47:18,002 --> 00:47:21,839
to cook you kebabs
at my place.
811
00:47:22,048 --> 00:47:24,008
It's a great view,
if you're into that.
812
00:47:24,216 --> 00:47:26,886
Um, maybe some wine,
if you like.
813
00:47:27,094 --> 00:47:29,472
Maybe a mutually-
agreed-upon kiss,
814
00:47:29,680 --> 00:47:31,349
if you are into that.
815
00:47:31,557 --> 00:47:35,561
Okay. No. Um, look,
I-- I should be clear.
816
00:47:35,770 --> 00:47:39,065
I have very strict rules
about not hooking up
817
00:47:39,273 --> 00:47:40,900
with teachers
at my school. Right.
818
00:47:41,108 --> 00:47:44,153
- But anyone outside ofschoolofageis".
- Mm-hmm.
819
00:47:44,362 --> 00:47:46,197
...fair game, and you're
your own school,
820
00:47:46,405 --> 00:47:47,740
so you're fair game.
821
00:47:47,948 --> 00:47:52,161
I sort of have a rule
about dating my son's...
822
00:47:52,370 --> 00:47:55,122
My son's...
My son's principals.
823
00:47:56,582 --> 00:47:58,042
- So...
- Yeah.
824
00:47:59,710 --> 00:48:01,379
You guys drive safe. Okay.
825
00:48:01,587 --> 00:48:02,254
Bye!
826
00:48:05,257 --> 00:48:07,218
- Holy buckets.
- Holy buckets is right.
827
00:48:07,426 --> 00:48:09,053
That was totally cookadoo.
828
00:48:10,721 --> 00:48:12,223
But I think he didn't know
we were high.
829
00:48:18,229 --> 00:48:19,563
- Oh, my God!
- What?
830
00:48:19,772 --> 00:48:21,440
That's her.
That's Anastasia.
831
00:48:21,649 --> 00:48:23,401
- The girl with the limp?
- Yeah.
832
00:48:23,609 --> 00:48:25,945
- What the heck?
- She's our neighbor?
833
00:48:26,153 --> 00:48:28,489
How have I never
seen her here before?
834
00:48:28,697 --> 00:48:31,200
You are so much more
handsome than that guy.
835
00:48:31,409 --> 00:48:32,493
She's gonna flip out
when she finds out
836
00:48:32,701 --> 00:48:33,869
you're on
the badminton team.
837
00:48:34,078 --> 00:48:36,705
- No.
- Do you wanna smoke any more?
838
00:48:36,914 --> 00:48:38,124
- No.
- No, thank you.
839
00:48:38,332 --> 00:48:39,792
I'm pretty high now.
840
00:48:40,000 --> 00:48:41,794
Oh, crap. It says,
841
00:48:42,002 --> 00:48:44,797
"Do not drive or operate
any heavy machinery." Oops!
842
00:49:22,001 --> 00:49:23,836
All right, mate?
843
00:49:24,044 --> 00:49:25,337
Good night, penis breath.
844
00:49:26,630 --> 00:49:27,798
Oh, I'm such a loser.
845
00:49:32,386 --> 00:49:34,430
Maria, you got no shot.
846
00:49:34,638 --> 00:49:36,390
Okay. Girls, they just...
847
00:49:36,599 --> 00:49:38,017
They just date dicks.
848
00:49:38,225 --> 00:49:39,393
Love guys who
treat 'em like dicks,
849
00:49:39,602 --> 00:49:41,353
and girls just love dicks.
850
00:49:41,562 --> 00:49:43,439
Then I'm gonna be
Anastasia's dick.
851
00:49:45,191 --> 00:49:47,485
Well, then you gotta make
a bold dick move, man.
852
00:49:47,693 --> 00:49:49,570
- You know, show her you can compete.
- Yeah.
853
00:49:49,778 --> 00:49:51,655
- Girls love that shit.
- Yeah.
854
00:49:54,283 --> 00:49:54,992
Yeah. Wait...
855
00:49:58,996 --> 00:50:01,457
Uh, you mean like kiss her?
856
00:50:01,665 --> 00:50:03,751
- Well, did she try to kiss you?
- No.
857
00:50:03,959 --> 00:50:06,086
- Mmm. Did you see her bobos?
- No.
858
00:50:06,295 --> 00:50:08,506
- Have you ever seen bobos, Liam?
- Yes.
859
00:50:08,714 --> 00:50:10,508
- You're full of shit.
- No, I have!
860
00:50:15,596 --> 00:50:17,223
- Hey.
- Hey-
861
00:50:17,431 --> 00:50:18,516
- I'm gonna go to bed.
- Okay.
862
00:50:18,724 --> 00:50:20,017
- Good night.
- Good night.
863
00:50:20,226 --> 00:50:22,102
That's absolutely
disgusting,
864
00:50:22,311 --> 00:50:23,354
but hot at the same time.
865
00:50:23,562 --> 00:50:26,232
You know, your mom
is really hot.
866
00:50:26,440 --> 00:50:27,608
Like she could be your sister.
867
00:50:28,817 --> 00:50:29,527
God, I'd play
868
00:50:29,735 --> 00:50:30,778
all 18 holes of that.
869
00:50:30,986 --> 00:50:32,738
Yeah. Yeah.
870
00:50:34,698 --> 00:50:35,658
Hey, what's their problem?
871
00:50:42,414 --> 00:50:44,416
- Holy fuck!
- What? What?
872
00:50:44,625 --> 00:50:48,629
Uh, Maria Sanchez is dead.
873
00:51:02,560 --> 00:51:03,727
The day Maria died...
874
00:51:06,063 --> 00:51:08,065
was the best day
of my life.
875
00:51:14,905 --> 00:51:16,907
Suddenly everyone treated me
like I had died,
876
00:51:18,867 --> 00:51:20,202
but I never felt more alive.
877
00:51:24,790 --> 00:51:25,457
Hey.
878
00:51:28,794 --> 00:51:30,462
I'm a total dick.
879
00:51:30,671 --> 00:51:33,757
Do you know I never said
a single word to Maria,
880
00:51:33,966 --> 00:51:35,593
but now I kinda feel like
because of you
881
00:51:35,801 --> 00:51:37,052
I get the chance to change that.
882
00:51:37,261 --> 00:51:39,597
God! I love you, Maria Sanchez.
883
00:51:43,475 --> 00:51:44,768
I'm s-- sorry, Maria.
884
00:51:48,230 --> 00:51:51,108
Most people didn't give
a shit about Maria.
885
00:51:51,317 --> 00:51:53,527
I mean, Aisley sure as hell
wasn't her friend.
886
00:51:53,736 --> 00:51:56,655
I guess it's like nobody
really cares until--
887
00:51:56,864 --> 00:51:57,906
You lose a leg.
888
00:51:59,617 --> 00:52:00,492
Yeah.
889
00:52:06,248 --> 00:52:08,500
Um, I'm gonna be
right back, okay?
890
00:52:08,709 --> 00:52:09,960
- Okay.
- Yeah.
891
00:52:15,341 --> 00:52:16,634
Oh, God, ew!
892
00:52:16,842 --> 00:52:20,137
Bold dick move.
You gotta do it.
893
00:52:36,403 --> 00:52:37,446
You didn't cut him up?
894
00:52:37,655 --> 00:52:39,323
Uh, no, I didn't have the heart.
895
00:52:48,874 --> 00:52:51,669
Hey, you live in
Greenwood Street, right?
896
00:52:51,877 --> 00:52:52,836
Yeah.
897
00:52:53,045 --> 00:52:55,631
One sec. Sorry.
898
00:53:00,511 --> 00:53:02,054
Fire alarm.
899
00:53:02,262 --> 00:53:03,806
My mom and I practiced this at home.
Follow me.
900
00:53:05,724 --> 00:53:08,394
Fire, fire, fire,
fire, fire, fire!
901
00:53:49,017 --> 00:53:50,227
- Rum.
- Rum.
902
00:53:51,687 --> 00:53:52,396
Rum Tum Tugger.
903
00:53:59,445 --> 00:54:01,321
I know. It's rummy.
904
00:54:03,907 --> 00:54:04,700
Mmm.
905
00:54:06,118 --> 00:54:07,995
- Mmm.
- What? ls it skunked?
906
00:54:09,538 --> 00:54:10,414
I think it's gone bad.
907
00:54:14,376 --> 00:54:15,210
I don't think it's bad.
908
00:54:17,921 --> 00:54:18,756
Mmm.
909
00:54:20,841 --> 00:54:23,093
Gross, but the least worst.
910
00:54:23,302 --> 00:54:24,261
Oh, God, honey,
I love you,
911
00:54:24,470 --> 00:54:26,096
but that is
a pussy drink.
912
00:54:26,305 --> 00:54:29,224
- Oh, that's perfect!
- No. No.
913
00:54:29,433 --> 00:54:32,478
Like bad pussy,
like you are the pussy.
914
00:54:32,686 --> 00:54:36,190
So wait, I get... We wanna get
the pussy, not drink the pussy.
915
00:54:36,398 --> 00:54:37,775
I mean, yes,
916
00:54:37,983 --> 00:54:40,235
but what I meant by pussy
in this situation is,
917
00:54:40,444 --> 00:54:42,237
is that it's wimpy. Wimpy.
918
00:54:42,446 --> 00:54:46,575
So drinking a wimpy drink makes
you wimpy and then wimpy...
919
00:54:46,784 --> 00:54:51,538
Wimpy guys don't
get the literal pussy.
920
00:54:51,747 --> 00:54:53,582
If we're gonna
talk anatomy,
921
00:54:53,791 --> 00:54:55,751
-can we talk about balls?
- Sure.
922
00:54:55,959 --> 00:54:58,086
- Balls of steel?
- Mmm-hmm.
923
00:54:58,295 --> 00:55:00,005
I mean,
who came up with that?
924
00:55:00,214 --> 00:55:03,425
My balls are like tiny little
grapes, sensitive, weird.
925
00:55:03,634 --> 00:55:06,386
It's like a metaphor or--
926
00:55:06,595 --> 00:55:08,555
Are there men with
actual balls of steel?
927
00:55:50,138 --> 00:55:50,848
Not afraid.
928
00:56:02,109 --> 00:56:04,194
All right. Have your key
and everything?
929
00:56:04,403 --> 00:56:06,905
Yep, got it all. All ready to go.
Here we go.
930
00:56:07,114 --> 00:56:09,491
Okay. Here we go.
931
00:56:09,700 --> 00:56:11,159
- Ooh! - Oh, man! What was that?
932
00:56:11,368 --> 00:56:13,871
- That's probably a flat tire.
- What?
933
00:56:14,079 --> 00:56:16,290
Yeah. I'll probably just have to
carpool with Anastasia today.
934
00:56:16,498 --> 00:56:19,042
I was... Wait, well, wait. I'll just...
Honey, I'll just change the tire!
935
00:56:19,251 --> 00:56:21,503
Are you sure it's safe to ride
with a peg-legged driver, Li--
936
00:56:21,712 --> 00:56:22,629
Yeah. No, it's gonna be fine.
937
00:56:27,467 --> 00:56:28,927
Whoa!
938
00:56:29,136 --> 00:56:31,221
Huh, almost lost my legs.
939
00:56:31,430 --> 00:56:33,307
I didn't see you
there, Maria.
940
00:56:33,515 --> 00:56:35,058
I got a flat tire.
941
00:56:35,267 --> 00:56:37,144
I've got five bucks for some gas money.
Carpool?
942
00:56:38,562 --> 00:56:39,605
- Yeah, okay.
- Cool.
943
00:56:41,106 --> 00:56:42,441
I love you.
944
00:56:45,235 --> 00:56:47,237
I should let you know
that in a few months,
945
00:56:47,446 --> 00:56:48,572
I'll be leaving
for England.
946
00:56:48,780 --> 00:56:51,575
I'm gonna study
astronomy at Cambridge.
947
00:56:51,783 --> 00:56:55,120
So you should
probably know our time is short.
948
00:56:56,538 --> 00:56:58,916
- Stephen Hawking.
- Okay, thanks.
949
00:56:59,124 --> 00:57:01,418
Yeah. I'm a horoscope
junkie, too.
950
00:57:01,627 --> 00:57:04,004
I read it and then
I will it true.
951
00:57:04,212 --> 00:57:07,883
Don't tell me,
you are a...
952
00:57:10,594 --> 00:57:13,972
I wanna say Libra, but something
in your eyes tells me...
953
00:57:15,849 --> 00:57:17,768
- Virgo.
- Pisces.
954
00:57:17,976 --> 00:57:20,270
Mmm. That's too bad,
I'm a Leo.
955
00:57:20,479 --> 00:57:22,940
- Not compatible.
- Nuts.
956
00:57:23,148 --> 00:57:25,108
Those 14 minutes
in Anastasia's truck
957
00:57:25,317 --> 00:57:27,402
to and fro school
was my life.
958
00:57:27,611 --> 00:57:29,321
Everything else faded away.
959
00:57:29,529 --> 00:57:32,324
Hey, you know, every song,
every good song,
960
00:57:32,532 --> 00:57:35,035
all you pretty much need
are the words
961
00:57:35,243 --> 00:57:40,374
"woman," "love,"
"heartbreak," "beautiful."
962
00:57:41,959 --> 00:57:43,961
You know what?
You're totally right.
963
00:57:44,169 --> 00:57:45,420
And the word "sex"
a few times.
964
00:57:54,179 --> 00:57:57,057
Some guys had
dinner dates, movie dates.
965
00:57:57,265 --> 00:57:58,100
I had the carpool date.
966
00:57:58,308 --> 00:57:59,101
That's cool. My treat.
967
00:58:00,477 --> 00:58:01,144
Thanks.
968
00:58:02,729 --> 00:58:04,022
Did I just see a picture
of a girl in there?
969
00:58:04,231 --> 00:58:05,190
Oh, no, that's nobody.
970
00:58:07,359 --> 00:58:09,486
Liam?
ls that your girlfriend?
971
00:58:11,571 --> 00:58:13,949
Yeah. Yeah, it is. It is.
It's my girlfriend.
972
00:58:14,157 --> 00:58:15,951
Oh!
Score, Liam.
973
00:58:16,159 --> 00:58:17,160
- Yeah.
-ls she hot?
974
00:58:17,369 --> 00:58:18,453
- Oh, man!
- Let me see.
975
00:58:18,662 --> 00:58:19,538
- No, she's just--
- Let me see.
976
00:58:19,746 --> 00:58:20,622
Let me see.
Let me see.
977
00:58:24,793 --> 00:58:27,045
- Isn't that your mom?
- Yes, it is.
978
00:58:27,254 --> 00:58:30,173
So, Mr. Astronomy,
tell me my future.
979
00:58:30,382 --> 00:58:33,552
You're a Leo. I see a lot
of sunshine in your future.
980
00:58:34,553 --> 00:58:36,555
And?
981
00:58:36,763 --> 00:58:38,598
I mean, you want me to tell you
that everything's gonna be fine
982
00:58:38,807 --> 00:58:40,017
and that
anything's possible.
983
00:58:40,225 --> 00:58:42,060
But that's not
really true, is it?
984
00:58:42,269 --> 00:58:44,646
I mean, women have less opportunities
than men. They get paid less.
985
00:58:44,855 --> 00:58:46,523
White men have way
more opportunities.
986
00:58:48,400 --> 00:58:50,694
Mom!
Mom, grab my hand!
987
00:58:50,902 --> 00:58:53,905
Mom? What are you doing
outside the window?
988
00:58:54,114 --> 00:58:57,200
Mom, you're slippi_ng!
I can feel you slipplng!
989
00:58:57,409 --> 00:58:58,744
Mom! Oh!
990
00:59:01,121 --> 00:59:02,998
Like, I mean, you've lost something
that everybody else has, your leg.
991
00:59:04,833 --> 00:59:07,544
- Yeah, I know.
- So you know no fear.
992
00:59:08,920 --> 00:59:10,338
You know anything
is possible
993
00:59:10,547 --> 00:59:12,758
and I think for you,
anything is possible.
994
00:59:12,966 --> 00:59:13,925
I think you're gonna
be an astronaut.
995
00:59:15,469 --> 00:59:17,387
An astronaut?
996
00:59:17,596 --> 00:59:20,599
Wow! That's a lot more than
my daily horoscope said,
997
00:59:20,807 --> 00:59:22,559
all it said was
I was gonna get lucky.
998
00:59:47,459 --> 00:59:49,169
Do you wanna touch it?
999
00:59:51,630 --> 00:59:54,216
- Oh, my God, yes.
- Okay, then touch it.
1000
00:59:56,968 --> 01:00:00,680
The cancer started out here
and it was extremely rare,
1001
01:00:00,889 --> 01:00:03,433
like three-people rare.
1002
01:00:03,642 --> 01:00:04,976
And then all of a sudden,
it was here.
1003
01:00:06,728 --> 01:00:08,730
I hate cancer.
1004
01:00:08,939 --> 01:00:12,109
And they finally decided
to cut it off here.
1005
01:00:14,402 --> 01:00:17,739
- Thatsucks.
- And it's all gone, for now.
1006
01:00:19,908 --> 01:00:21,201
And I think that
sometimes--
1007
01:00:23,203 --> 01:00:26,289
Yeah, I think sometimes
things happen for a reason
1008
01:00:26,498 --> 01:00:29,751
and sometimes I think things
happen that just suck.
1009
01:00:31,545 --> 01:00:34,506
And the voice
in my head is like,
1010
01:00:34,714 --> 01:00:36,049
"Well, what are
you gonna do now?"
1011
01:00:37,884 --> 01:00:40,178
I don't know why my inner
voice is so manly.
1012
01:00:40,387 --> 01:00:42,764
But I can still do
everything, you know?
1013
01:00:42,973 --> 01:00:44,933
You know, run, swim,
1014
01:00:46,768 --> 01:00:47,435
sex.
1015
01:00:50,939 --> 01:00:54,234
Earthquake, Maria!
1016
01:00:56,153 --> 01:00:58,780
BDC needs a ride today.
1017
01:00:58,989 --> 01:01:00,490
- Hey, hottie.
- Hi, cutie.
1018
01:01:00,699 --> 01:01:02,242
How much?
1019
01:01:02,450 --> 01:01:04,202
I'll do anything for a ten,
more for a 20 though.
1020
01:01:05,912 --> 01:01:07,038
- Uh?
- Let's go.
1021
01:01:07,247 --> 01:01:08,331
- Hop in, Maria.
- Okay.
1022
01:01:10,417 --> 01:01:11,376
Freezing my tits off.
1023
01:01:25,432 --> 01:01:28,101
BDC, stop calling him!
1024
01:01:33,398 --> 01:01:35,692
Paging Maria
Sanchez to the office, please.
1025
01:01:42,490 --> 01:01:44,159
- May I help you?
- Yeah, I'm Maria Sanchez.
1026
01:01:45,535 --> 01:01:47,913
No. I'm Maria Sanchez.
1027
01:01:48,121 --> 01:01:50,582
And just like that,
Maria was back from the dead.
1028
01:01:52,876 --> 01:01:56,338
- Hablas espafiol?
- I mean, I can count to ten.
1029
01:01:56,546 --> 01:01:59,424
- Uno, dos, tres, cuatro, cinco--
- Yeah, I get it.
1030
01:01:59,633 --> 01:02:00,342
I can read Braille.
1031
01:02:01,968 --> 01:02:02,636
But you can see.
1032
01:02:04,721 --> 01:02:05,472
Yeah, I can see.
1033
01:02:08,099 --> 01:02:08,767
Huh.
1034
01:02:10,101 --> 01:02:11,561
Sorry about the confusion.
1035
01:02:11,770 --> 01:02:14,397
I guess it must have been
a bad rumor, you know?
1036
01:02:16,399 --> 01:02:18,526
It turns out she was
never even sick.
1037
01:02:18,735 --> 01:02:22,614
She was on an exchange with
another student from Brazil.
1038
01:02:22,822 --> 01:02:26,826
I mean, it was all filed, but
this place is just... Ugh!
1039
01:02:29,454 --> 01:02:32,916
It's probably on the old comp.
lfiljustn.
1040
01:02:36,878 --> 01:02:38,296
Mmm, nope.
1041
01:02:38,505 --> 01:02:39,881
Yeah, so what does
that mean for me?
1042
01:02:40,090 --> 01:02:43,176
Not good for you,
but for me, good.
1043
01:02:43,385 --> 01:02:45,553
You know, now that you're no
longer an official student here,
1044
01:02:45,762 --> 01:02:48,932
I can go on the record that I am
actively pursuing your mother.
1045
01:02:49,140 --> 01:02:52,811
And I think my chances
are pretty, pretty good.
1046
01:02:55,855 --> 01:02:56,523
Yeah.
1047
01:02:58,108 --> 01:02:58,775
Yeah.
1048
01:03:01,903 --> 01:03:02,821
Okay, that's...
1049
01:03:09,661 --> 01:03:11,538
The five-second
rule is a myth.
1050
01:03:11,746 --> 01:03:14,374
Five, ten, 100, it doesn't
matter, it's all the same germs.
1051
01:03:16,126 --> 01:03:17,794
Some pretty well-executed
data entry.
1052
01:03:18,003 --> 01:03:19,629
Yeah, I know. We got an A.
1053
01:03:19,838 --> 01:03:22,465
Yeah, you got A's in all
my classes exceptdance.
1054
01:03:22,674 --> 01:03:25,260
Really? Someone
said I was lit.
1055
01:03:25,468 --> 01:03:27,345
I'm pretty good at square dancing.
So I'm a bit cheesed.
1056
01:03:29,848 --> 01:03:31,558
Sorry I'm still alive.
1057
01:03:31,766 --> 01:03:33,768
Me, too.
But I understand.
1058
01:03:35,729 --> 01:03:37,605
Thanks.
1059
01:03:47,866 --> 01:03:50,285
"Anastasia's car, dirty."
1060
01:03:59,878 --> 01:04:02,589
Honey, I know you're upset, but I
did tell you that public school
1061
01:04:02,797 --> 01:04:05,258
is just an institution
for low expectations.
1062
01:04:05,467 --> 01:04:08,511
So I want you to forget about
school, forget about the girl.
1063
01:04:08,720 --> 01:04:11,222
It's time to party.
So get dressed.
1064
01:04:11,431 --> 01:04:13,600
We're gonna call tonight
your rebound night.
1065
01:04:13,808 --> 01:04:15,352
Here.
1066
01:04:15,560 --> 01:04:16,353
Everyone's wearing them.
1067
01:04:23,526 --> 01:04:25,403
- Cool.
- What did you just say?
1068
01:04:25,612 --> 01:04:27,489
Cool.
1069
01:04:27,697 --> 01:04:30,617
I feel like I don't
even know who you are anymore.
1070
01:04:30,825 --> 01:04:34,245
This is so stupid. I don't
know where to find a party.
1071
01:04:34,454 --> 01:04:37,665
Well, come on, let's go closer to the
college. There'll be some there.
1072
01:04:37,874 --> 01:04:39,042
I'll keep looking.
1073
01:04:39,250 --> 01:04:41,628
I'm sorry.
I'm nervous.
1074
01:04:41,836 --> 01:04:43,088
Kind of excited to
let loose a little.
1075
01:04:44,923 --> 01:04:46,299
Whoo!
1076
01:04:46,508 --> 01:04:47,300
Ah, that was fun.
1077
01:04:48,718 --> 01:04:50,220
Come on, Autumn. Try it.
1078
01:04:51,805 --> 01:04:52,639
Whoo!
1079
01:04:56,643 --> 01:04:58,520
Here, sweetie.
Pussy drink. Take three.
1080
01:04:58,728 --> 01:05:00,438
Three for you is a rager,
1081
01:05:00,647 --> 01:05:02,148
'cause you're a lightweight.
Be safe. All right?
1082
01:05:02,357 --> 01:05:04,025
Mmm.
1083
01:05:04,234 --> 01:05:07,695
Oh, it hurts. Mmm. And it
tastes like peaches, sparkly.
1084
01:05:07,904 --> 01:05:11,533
So the rule is we will stay one room
away from you guys at all times
1085
01:05:11,741 --> 01:05:14,119
and if anyone asks who
invited you, just say Mike,
1086
01:05:14,327 --> 01:05:15,578
because everyone has
a friend named Mike.
1087
01:05:15,787 --> 01:05:17,497
- I don't.
- Aw.
1088
01:05:17,705 --> 01:05:20,083
You do tonight, tiger.
All right. Let's split up.
1089
01:05:21,793 --> 01:05:22,627
Go party.
1090
01:05:25,588 --> 01:05:29,592
Hey, um, will you keep an
eye on Liam for me, please?
1091
01:05:29,801 --> 01:05:32,137
- Of course. And same with Autumn?
- Yeah, yeah.
1092
01:05:32,345 --> 01:05:33,972
- Okay.
- Definitely.
1093
01:05:34,180 --> 01:05:36,433
Hey, why are you
drinking so much?
1094
01:05:36,641 --> 01:05:40,061
Uh, I just... I get really
nervous at these social events
1095
01:05:40,270 --> 01:05:43,231
and I don't wanna end up in a
corner by myself like usual.
1096
01:05:43,440 --> 01:05:45,191
Those days are gonzo.
1097
01:05:45,400 --> 01:05:48,319
Totally. Okay. Come on.
1098
01:06:42,916 --> 01:06:46,794
We have peppers, we have cheese!
It's nacho time!
1099
01:06:55,053 --> 01:06:56,054
How did I not think I would--
1100
01:06:56,262 --> 01:06:57,138
Mackenzie?
1101
01:06:58,640 --> 01:07:01,893
I am in desperate
need of a beverage
1102
01:07:02,101 --> 01:07:03,686
and since you,
Mr. Liam,
1103
01:07:03,895 --> 01:07:06,105
are on dry land,
you need to get me one.
1104
01:07:06,314 --> 01:07:09,234
Oh, here. Do you want some of this?
It's like warm soup.
1105
01:07:09,442 --> 01:07:12,028
Yes. Thank you, Claire!
1106
01:07:13,613 --> 01:07:15,949
Are you scared of
the water, land lover?
1107
01:07:16,157 --> 01:07:18,117
Oh, I didn't bring
my trunks or anything.
1108
01:07:18,326 --> 01:07:20,995
Oh. Well, neither did we.
1109
01:07:36,094 --> 01:07:39,180
- You're taking a long time to get in the
water. -l'm coming as fast as I can.
1110
01:07:41,474 --> 01:07:42,141
Whoa!
1111
01:07:43,768 --> 01:07:45,478
- Whoo!
- Ooh!
1112
01:07:45,687 --> 01:07:47,438
Now it's a party!
1113
01:07:47,647 --> 01:07:49,899
Um, did you see Autumn inside?
1114
01:07:50,108 --> 01:07:52,986
Yeah, uh, she was
cleaning the sliding doors.
1115
01:07:53,194 --> 01:07:54,737
- Oh, really?
- Yeah.
1116
01:07:54,946 --> 01:07:56,281
- Liam!
- Mom!
1117
01:07:56,489 --> 01:07:58,950
Honey! Where's your shirt?
1118
01:07:59,158 --> 01:08:00,493
- Oh...
- You're gonna catch a cold.
1119
01:08:00,702 --> 01:08:02,078
I'm gonna make you
some hot tea, okay?
1120
01:08:02,287 --> 01:08:04,497
No, Mom. I'm okay, really.
1121
01:08:04,706 --> 01:08:07,500
How can you be having fun if
you're cold and soaking wet?
1122
01:08:07,709 --> 01:08:10,169
Mom, I was thinking about
maybe staying for the party.
1123
01:08:10,378 --> 01:08:11,921
Okay, we can stay for a bit.
1124
01:08:12,130 --> 01:08:14,007
No, I was thinking that
maybe you should go.
1125
01:08:15,174 --> 01:08:16,884
I get it.
1126
01:08:17,093 --> 01:08:19,429
You wanna make out with a
girl, honey, you go for it.
1127
01:08:19,637 --> 01:08:21,806
So many pretty ones here.
Okay, honey, bye!
1128
01:08:22,015 --> 01:08:24,642
- Bye. I love you.
- I love you.
1129
01:08:27,061 --> 01:08:28,730
Autumn, what happened
to your face?
1130
01:08:28,938 --> 01:08:32,442
There is red food coloring
in lip balm. I ate it all.
1131
01:08:41,618 --> 01:08:42,535
Hold on, okay?
1132
01:08:47,290 --> 01:08:48,416
911,
what's your emergency?
1133
01:08:48,625 --> 01:08:50,126
Hi, I have a noise complaint.
1134
01:09:08,770 --> 01:09:12,106
Hey, Maria.
Thanks for the invite.
1135
01:09:20,406 --> 01:09:21,616
What happened?
1136
01:09:21,824 --> 01:09:23,910
- You got punched in the face.
- Oh...
1137
01:09:24,118 --> 01:09:26,412
I'm such a bad person.
1138
01:09:26,621 --> 01:09:31,584
I'm a terrible mom. Autumn is so crazy.
She has no friends.
1139
01:09:32,835 --> 01:09:34,921
Look, I finished
my knitting cap.
1140
01:09:35,129 --> 01:09:36,839
Oh.
1141
01:09:37,048 --> 01:09:41,928
Oh, what am I doing?
Come on. Let's go.
1142
01:09:48,476 --> 01:09:50,436
Oh. That's my mom.
1143
01:09:50,645 --> 01:09:52,313
- Oh, god.
1144
01:09:52,522 --> 01:09:53,981
Mom'?
1145
01:09:54,190 --> 01:09:56,567
Liam! Liam Heap!
1146
01:09:58,027 --> 01:09:58,695
Liam!
1147
01:10:00,530 --> 01:10:03,908
You get in the frigging car
right now! In the car!
1148
01:10:06,035 --> 01:10:07,954
Okay. Sorry. Sorry, Mom.
1149
01:10:08,162 --> 01:10:09,122
Get in the car!
1150
01:10:11,499 --> 01:10:13,084
You get in the car!
1151
01:10:13,292 --> 01:10:15,169
Autumn,
get in the back seat!
1152
01:10:15,378 --> 01:10:16,462
You get in the back seat!
1153
01:10:16,671 --> 01:10:17,672
In the front seat,
Mackenzie!
1154
01:10:17,880 --> 01:10:19,215
Autumn, get in
the backseat!
1155
01:10:20,925 --> 01:10:21,884
Get in the car!
1156
01:10:30,810 --> 01:10:33,187
Slut.
1157
01:10:33,396 --> 01:10:36,691
I'm so sorry that I decided that I wanted
to take you to your first college party
1158
01:10:36,899 --> 01:10:38,443
and teach you how to get
drunk for the first time.
1159
01:10:38,651 --> 01:10:39,944
Everything's a frigging
lesson with you!
1160
01:10:40,153 --> 01:10:42,113
"Oh, Liam, this is how
you write a test, Liam."
1161
01:10:42,321 --> 01:10:43,823
I don't. You make me
sound like a moron!
1162
01:10:44,031 --> 01:10:45,616
"Yeah, Liam,
this is how you party.
1163
01:10:45,825 --> 01:10:47,535
"Liam, this is how you drink,
this is how you have fun!"
1164
01:10:47,744 --> 01:10:49,203
You made out with Mackenzie!
1165
01:10:49,412 --> 01:10:51,289
So what?
1166
01:10:51,497 --> 01:10:52,832
She was really nice. What? Would
you rather I made out with you?
1167
01:10:53,040 --> 01:10:54,375
- Ugh.
- Hmm? Mom, what?
1168
01:10:54,584 --> 01:10:56,502
- Whoa!
- Come on. Show me the ropes, Mom.
1169
01:10:56,711 --> 01:10:58,254
You know what? I'm sorry I just
tried to make the best for you.
1170
01:10:58,463 --> 01:11:01,132
You're not! You want me
to be better, but I can't.
1171
01:11:01,340 --> 01:11:03,384
I'm a loser. I don't even
wanna go to Cambridge.
1172
01:11:03,593 --> 01:11:05,678
Oh, you poor,
privileged white male!
1173
01:11:05,887 --> 01:11:08,431
No, I wanna go become
a massage therapist!
1174
01:11:08,639 --> 01:11:09,557
Don't you dare!
1175
01:11:13,269 --> 01:11:15,104
Liam? Liam!
1176
01:11:22,153 --> 01:11:24,197
What the hell? Oh, my god!
What are you doing?
1177
01:11:24,405 --> 01:11:26,282
- Another lesson, obviously!
- This is my door!
1178
01:11:26,491 --> 01:11:28,743
You're out of control!
1179
01:11:28,951 --> 01:11:31,496
- Get that stupid shirt--
- Get out! Get out of here!
1180
01:11:33,456 --> 01:11:37,710
Sometimes moms... Ow! You little shit!
Liam! Ow!
1181
01:11:39,295 --> 01:11:42,173
You are very, very...
Get over here.
1182
01:11:43,508 --> 01:11:44,175
Ah!
1183
01:11:47,011 --> 01:11:48,179
Did you just spank me?
1184
01:11:49,889 --> 01:11:51,641
Yes.
1185
01:11:53,142 --> 01:11:54,185
You had it coming.
1186
01:12:03,528 --> 01:12:05,154
You know who won the
Pulitzer Prize this year?
1187
01:12:08,741 --> 01:12:11,327
- Why?
- You don't. Do you?
1188
01:12:11,536 --> 01:12:13,788
Who won the hurdles
in the Olympics?
1189
01:12:15,581 --> 01:12:16,791
- Men's or females'?
- You don't know?
1190
01:12:19,377 --> 01:12:22,046
Best in
the whole world
1191
01:12:22,255 --> 01:12:24,757
and they haven't
affected you once.
1192
01:12:24,966 --> 01:12:27,969
No Olympic hurdler's
ever affected anyone.
1193
01:12:28,177 --> 01:12:30,221
You know, Grandma's
not good at anything.
1194
01:12:30,429 --> 01:12:32,139
She's not good at a thing.
1195
01:12:32,348 --> 01:12:35,434
And you told me
that she's affected you
1196
01:12:35,643 --> 01:12:38,145
the most out of any person
in your whole life.
1197
01:12:40,731 --> 01:12:42,859
I'm the only one
who knows that.
1198
01:12:43,067 --> 01:12:44,443
I guess I wanna be
somebody like that.
1199
01:13:23,149 --> 01:13:23,816
Huh?
1200
01:13:31,824 --> 01:13:33,367
Oh. Hi.
1201
01:13:33,576 --> 01:13:36,454
Hey. I'm locked out.
1202
01:13:36,662 --> 01:13:38,998
Uh, okay. I'll come
wait with you.
1203
01:13:45,212 --> 01:13:46,297
- Hey.
- Hey.
1204
01:13:48,883 --> 01:13:51,761
I'm not locked out. I just
wanted to see your face.
1205
01:13:51,969 --> 01:13:52,720
Oh.
1206
01:13:52,929 --> 01:13:55,514
Ouch. Sorry about that.
1207
01:13:55,723 --> 01:13:59,560
Yeah. Uh, it's okay.
My mom did some of it.
1208
01:13:59,769 --> 01:14:01,437
It's kinda been
one of those nights.
1209
01:14:01,646 --> 01:14:02,897
Freezing my tits off.
1210
01:14:03,105 --> 01:14:04,440
My nipples are about to
rip through my shirt.
1211
01:14:04,649 --> 01:14:05,775
Paughs]
1212
01:14:05,983 --> 01:14:08,861
Um, do you wanna...
1213
01:14:09,070 --> 01:14:11,030
- Wanna go inside?
- Yeah, sure.
1214
01:14:17,495 --> 01:14:18,704
What happened in here?
1215
01:14:18,913 --> 01:14:21,499
Oh. Uh... Shh.
We had this big party.
1216
01:14:25,002 --> 01:14:27,046
Oh, um...
1217
01:14:27,254 --> 01:14:30,883
Speaking of parties, Aisley's
throwing this big, uh, beach party
1218
01:14:31,092 --> 01:14:34,095
like a funeral party
for Maria's resurrection.
1219
01:14:34,303 --> 01:14:36,430
It's kind of your party, too.
1220
01:14:36,639 --> 01:14:39,225
Yeah. Yeah. I like...
I like parties.
1221
01:14:40,434 --> 01:14:41,102
Okay.
1222
01:14:42,979 --> 01:14:45,314
Hey, Anastasia.
1223
01:14:45,523 --> 01:14:47,775
I'm really sorry that I put my name in
your boyfriend's phone number entry.
1224
01:14:48,818 --> 01:14:50,778
Good.
1225
01:14:50,987 --> 01:14:53,155
You must have some pretty big balls
to pull off a stunt like that.
1226
01:14:54,949 --> 01:14:55,992
No, I don't have balls.
1227
01:14:57,493 --> 01:14:59,286
I do have balls.
1228
01:14:59,495 --> 01:15:02,164
I don't have metaphorical
balls, but I do have testicles.
1229
01:15:03,457 --> 01:15:04,166
Right.
1230
01:15:10,965 --> 01:15:12,299
Human sex series?
1231
01:15:12,508 --> 01:15:14,593
Uh, that's a sex book
my mom gave me.
1232
01:15:14,802 --> 01:15:16,137
She's teaching me
to be a badass.
1233
01:15:20,516 --> 01:15:22,059
These people look like
they're depressed.
1234
01:15:24,645 --> 01:15:26,147
I'm pretty sure
whoever wrote this book
1235
01:15:26,355 --> 01:15:28,858
never had actual
enjoyable sex before.
1236
01:15:29,066 --> 01:15:29,734
Yeah.
1237
01:15:30,985 --> 01:15:31,736
What would that
even look like?
1238
01:15:32,903 --> 01:15:35,489
Uh, something like this.
1239
01:15:35,698 --> 01:15:38,826
Ah!
1240
01:15:44,123 --> 01:15:47,126
Why? What would... What would
your sex face look like?
1241
01:15:47,334 --> 01:15:52,381
Oh, wow.
1242
01:15:52,590 --> 01:15:55,843
I think
maybe the book's right.
1243
01:15:56,052 --> 01:15:57,970
Is there anything your
mom doesn't teach you?
1244
01:15:58,179 --> 01:16:00,181
No. No.
1245
01:16:00,389 --> 01:16:02,349
No, she's really thorough.
1246
01:16:02,558 --> 01:16:03,601
She's pretty much
my best friend.
1247
01:16:15,571 --> 01:16:18,199
Did your mom teach you
how to do that?
1248
01:16:18,407 --> 01:16:19,784
No.
1249
01:16:21,327 --> 01:16:24,455
No. I usually
practice on my hand.
1250
01:16:24,663 --> 01:16:27,124
That was way better. That was way better.
1251
01:16:27,333 --> 01:16:28,292
Oh, wow.
1252
01:16:29,627 --> 01:16:32,963
Wow. That was pretty great.
1253
01:16:33,172 --> 01:16:35,382
I think I'm gonna pass out.
Oh.
1254
01:16:43,307 --> 01:16:44,850
Does this mean
we're together now?
1255
01:16:45,059 --> 01:16:47,937
No, Liam,
we're just friends.
1256
01:16:49,188 --> 01:16:50,564
Oh.
1257
01:16:50,773 --> 01:16:53,317
Wow, my first girlfriend
and breakup in 30 seconds.
1258
01:16:54,610 --> 01:16:55,361
Friends who kissed.
1259
01:16:56,570 --> 01:16:57,780
- Hmm.
- Twice.
1260
01:17:01,325 --> 01:17:02,952
Oh.
1261
01:17:03,160 --> 01:17:05,704
Some days, yeah,
you're the guy who picks A.
1262
01:17:33,107 --> 01:17:35,776
Here we are again.
My last day at public school.
1263
01:17:42,408 --> 01:17:43,200
You can begin...
1264
01:17:46,162 --> 01:17:47,496
now.
1265
01:17:55,713 --> 01:17:58,465
- Here we are.
- Here we are again.
1266
01:17:58,674 --> 01:18:00,634
Now the bell's
gonna ring soon.
1267
01:18:00,843 --> 01:18:03,345
Good to know.
Um, listen, I...
1268
01:18:03,554 --> 01:18:05,055
I'm sorry I didn't
get back to you.
1269
01:18:05,264 --> 01:18:07,766
I just, you know, I...
You are Liam's principal
1270
01:18:07,975 --> 01:18:09,894
-and it felt-- - Yeah. No, I...
No, I know, I know.
1271
01:18:10,102 --> 01:18:12,188
- No, just hold on one second. Just...
- It felt...
1272
01:18:12,396 --> 01:18:15,107
- It felt inappropriate, could be
the word... - Just wait for it.
1273
01:18:15,316 --> 01:18:18,110
-...because I... I...
- And...
1274
01:18:20,446 --> 01:18:22,489
- You know your bells. flaughs]
- Oh, yeah, well...
1275
01:18:22,698 --> 01:18:24,825
That bell means
it's officially summer,
1276
01:18:25,034 --> 01:18:26,994
which means I'm no longer
you son's principal.
1277
01:18:30,664 --> 01:18:33,459
- Oh!
- Hmm.
1278
01:18:40,633 --> 01:18:44,136
Still 53 minutes left.
Wanna check anything over?
1279
01:18:44,345 --> 01:18:45,095
Nope.
1280
01:18:46,472 --> 01:18:47,223
Cocksucker.
1281
01:18:48,766 --> 01:18:51,060
Wow, did you plan
that out?
1282
01:18:51,268 --> 01:18:53,062
Actually, I did. Yeah.
1283
01:18:53,270 --> 01:18:57,191
Uh, I saw you come in and I got
the secretary to ring the bell.
1284
01:18:57,399 --> 01:18:59,860
It's 1:15. These kids
are confused. In get!
1285
01:19:00,069 --> 01:19:02,279
The class is still going.
Guys! Guys!
1286
01:19:02,488 --> 01:19:04,114
Class is still in.
That was a mistake.
1287
01:19:04,323 --> 01:19:06,909
Martin. Martin? Martin?
Put your... Martin!
1288
01:19:07,117 --> 01:19:10,162
Putyourphone back in your
pocket and get back into class.
1289
01:19:22,216 --> 01:19:23,884
Go ahead. Open it.
1290
01:19:24,093 --> 01:19:25,219
You already opened it.
1291
01:19:25,427 --> 01:19:26,470
You double-aced it.
1292
01:19:26,679 --> 01:19:28,764
- I know.
- Oh!
1293
01:19:28,973 --> 01:19:32,184
I can't wait to visit my little baby
in Cambridge. Sorry, little man.
1294
01:19:32,393 --> 01:19:35,312
Why are you all dressed up? Are you going
out with that principal man again?
1295
01:19:35,521 --> 01:19:37,106
No. Slash yes.
1296
01:19:38,732 --> 01:19:40,526
What do you think when
I say the word "Trojan"?
1297
01:19:40,734 --> 01:19:42,611
None of your business.
1298
01:19:42,820 --> 01:19:43,737
But do you really
wanna know?
1299
01:19:43,946 --> 01:19:44,863
No. No.
1300
01:19:51,203 --> 01:19:54,123
- Yahoo!
- lt's beautiful!
1301
01:19:54,331 --> 01:19:55,666
- Honey.
- Mmm.
1302
01:19:55,874 --> 01:19:58,085
Try putting a hot dog stand
right next to a gym
1303
01:19:58,294 --> 01:20:00,671
or an ice cream shop
next to a health food store.
1304
01:20:00,879 --> 01:20:03,090
You see the key is to combine
torture with pleasure.
1305
01:20:04,967 --> 01:20:07,052
You know, I always
wanted a sister,
1306
01:20:07,261 --> 01:20:09,430
but the only thing I got was Maria
here and I mean, he's terrible.
1307
01:20:11,515 --> 01:20:12,725
You guys wanna make out?
1308
01:20:12,933 --> 01:20:14,393
-L'm game.
-l'm game.
1309
01:20:14,601 --> 01:20:15,644
Game.
1310
01:20:23,986 --> 01:20:27,156
A little more of that.
1311
01:20:27,364 --> 01:20:30,075
Some days, you don't end
up with the one-legged girl.
1312
01:20:37,875 --> 01:20:40,544
You know why they first started
calling evening "evening"?
1313
01:20:40,753 --> 01:20:42,338
No. No, I don't.
1314
01:20:42,546 --> 01:20:45,007
Because it's the day
evening out with the night.
1315
01:20:45,215 --> 01:20:46,133
Hmm.
1316
01:20:46,342 --> 01:20:47,259
Not quite day,
not quite night.
1317
01:20:47,468 --> 01:20:48,802
Right.
So the in-between time?
1318
01:20:49,011 --> 01:20:50,804
- Yeah, interesting, right?
- Yeah, very interesting.
1319
01:20:51,013 --> 01:20:52,973
Yeah, I never
thought of it that way.
1320
01:20:53,182 --> 01:20:55,976
Hey, you know, I really liked the
choices that you made for your classes,
1321
01:20:56,185 --> 01:20:58,479
especially cultural club. You know,
I got kicked out of that one.
1322
01:20:58,687 --> 01:21:00,481
Uh, yeah. I saw.
1323
01:21:00,689 --> 01:21:04,610
- L'm white.
- I noticed, yeah.
1324
01:21:04,818 --> 01:21:07,237
I really liked
being Maria Sanchez.
1325
01:21:07,446 --> 01:21:08,447
Yeah, I like
being Maria, too.
1326
01:21:10,199 --> 01:21:11,283
I wonder what
it's like being you.
1327
01:21:13,327 --> 01:21:14,745
Hi, I'm Liam Heap.
1328
01:21:14,953 --> 01:21:16,789
Hi, Liam Heap.
Maria Sanchez.
1329
01:21:16,997 --> 01:21:18,999
Well, it's nice to meet you.
1330
01:21:20,793 --> 01:21:22,544
Some days,
you aren't Maria.
1331
01:21:24,296 --> 01:21:25,464
- You got everything?
- Yes. Yes.
1332
01:21:25,672 --> 01:21:27,049
Stop asking.
1333
01:21:32,679 --> 01:21:34,223
All right!
1334
01:21:36,934 --> 01:21:40,145
I got you one last thing.
1335
01:21:40,354 --> 01:21:41,438
What?
1336
01:21:41,647 --> 01:21:43,440
- To make some friends.
- No.
1337
01:21:44,942 --> 01:21:46,777
That's awesome.
1338
01:21:46,985 --> 01:21:48,946
All right, put your seatbelt on.
Let's get out of here.
1339
01:21:49,154 --> 01:21:50,989
Some days,
you end up with your mom.
1340
01:22:16,014 --> 01:22:17,224
I miss you already.
1341
01:22:19,268 --> 01:22:20,436
I miss you, too.
1342
01:22:58,390 --> 01:23:00,601
Hello, everyone.
Welcome to space.
1343
01:23:00,809 --> 01:23:01,435
Whoo!
1344
01:23:02,686 --> 01:23:03,520
Gary McKeniz.
1345
01:23:05,022 --> 01:23:05,856
Hmm. Emma Mitchell.
1346
01:23:07,608 --> 01:23:09,693
- Lucy Quine.
- Here.
1347
01:23:11,361 --> 01:23:12,279
Maria Sanchez.
1348
01:23:16,033 --> 01:23:16,950
Maria Sanchez?
1349
01:23:18,702 --> 01:23:20,579
Here. Sorry.
1350
01:23:23,123 --> 01:23:24,666
Jennifer Stewart.
1351
01:23:29,171 --> 01:23:29,922
Baker, Tom.
1352
01:23:31,423 --> 01:23:32,466
Hi,
1353
01:23:38,430 --> 01:23:41,433
And some days,
you just...
97481
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