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Subtitles by explosiveskull
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(MUSIC PLAYING)
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[MACKENZIE] (V.O.) So, what can
I tell you about Eve Wilde...
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00:00:34,542 --> 00:00:36,208
that you don't already know?
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00:00:36,210 --> 00:00:37,976
Well, for starters...
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00:00:37,978 --> 00:00:40,144
she absolutely hates
being called "Grandma"...
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or "Grandmother" or
anything with "Grand" in it.
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00:00:42,249 --> 00:00:45,384
So, she's just plain old
Eve to both you and me.
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Oh.
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You probably do know
she's been married before.
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Right?
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00:00:52,158 --> 00:00:54,025
But the only one you really
need to pay attention to...
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00:00:54,027 --> 00:00:57,329
is Laurence, Husband Number
One and my personal favorite...
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00:00:57,331 --> 00:00:59,498
because, he is
technically my grandpa.
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00:00:59,500 --> 00:01:01,065
But guess what?
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00:01:01,067 --> 00:01:05,371
I can't call him that, either. Actors.
17
00:01:05,373 --> 00:01:07,439
Eve and Laurence met in New York...
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00:01:07,441 --> 00:01:11,642
where Laurence was studying
to be a famous actor.
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00:01:11,644 --> 00:01:14,145
And Eve wanted to be an actress...
20
00:01:14,147 --> 00:01:17,615
but well, you know how
that ol' chestnut goes.
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Life's what happens while
you're busy making plans.
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Laurence got cast as the
lead in this big comedy...
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00:01:24,525 --> 00:01:26,258
and he got Eve a part in it, too...
24
00:01:26,260 --> 00:01:28,160
which was super-cool of him.
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00:01:28,162 --> 00:01:30,461
But when the film came out,
all of the reviews said...
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00:01:30,463 --> 00:01:33,398
"Hello. A star is born".
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00:01:33,400 --> 00:01:36,234
But, they weren't
talking about Laurence.
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00:01:36,236 --> 00:01:40,238
By the time Eve was one of the
biggest stars in the world...
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00:01:40,240 --> 00:01:42,041
she and Laurence were exchanging...
30
00:01:42,043 --> 00:01:44,142
humorous divorce gifts.
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00:01:44,144 --> 00:01:47,046
A silver cowbell for Eve
to wear around her neck...
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00:01:47,048 --> 00:01:48,814
so Laurence would always
know she was coming.
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A birdcage for Laurence...
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00:01:50,718 --> 00:01:53,618
so that the next Mrs.
Darling couldn't get away.
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00:01:53,620 --> 00:01:55,353
I'd say Eve is on the whole...
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00:01:55,355 --> 00:01:57,288
what you'd call a positive person.
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00:01:57,290 --> 00:02:00,392
She says that her whole life
has been one long fairytale...
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00:02:00,394 --> 00:02:02,326
and everything.
39
00:02:02,328 --> 00:02:05,064
But I might just disagree with Eve here.
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00:02:05,066 --> 00:02:08,500
I might say, in everything, except love...
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00:02:08,502 --> 00:02:11,470
which frankly, if you knew the family...
42
00:02:11,472 --> 00:02:14,442
would be considered the family "hurdle."
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00:02:15,709 --> 00:02:17,545
But all that was about to change.
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00:02:20,848 --> 00:02:23,715
Like the lightning that
precedes thunder...
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00:02:23,717 --> 00:02:28,086
my eyes took in what my
heart knew an instant later...
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00:02:28,088 --> 00:02:30,655
that this was love.
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00:02:30,657 --> 00:02:33,060
Love at first sight.
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(MUSIC CHANGES)
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[MACKENZIE] (V.O.) So I'm making
a film for Eve of the weekend.
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00:02:47,775 --> 00:02:49,308
It's my wedding gift.
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00:02:49,310 --> 00:02:51,275
And from prior experience...
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00:02:51,277 --> 00:02:53,879
I can say it'll have a little
bit of all the genres...
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00:02:53,881 --> 00:02:58,684
comedy, drama, musical, and
of course documentary...
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which is my forte because...
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00:03:00,354 --> 00:03:03,187
I like to think I ask
the tough questions.
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00:03:03,189 --> 00:03:04,889
I bet it was the Swedish nanny...
57
00:03:04,891 --> 00:03:06,424
who jumped you when you were like 16.
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00:03:06,426 --> 00:03:07,859
Excuse me?
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00:03:07,861 --> 00:03:10,495
Mom told me. She said that
girl was totally your type.
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00:03:10,497 --> 00:03:12,163
Bad girl.
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00:03:12,165 --> 00:03:14,766
Oh my god. Mackenzie,
that is so inappropriate.
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Come on, it was the Swedish nanny, right?
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00:03:16,804 --> 00:03:20,471
Actually, my first love was...
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00:03:20,473 --> 00:03:23,341
My first love...
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[MACKENZIE] (V.O.) Okay, so he's
doing this whole drum-roll...
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00:03:26,580 --> 00:03:29,648
thing because deep down, he
wants to say it was my mom...
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00:03:29,650 --> 00:03:33,217
but instead, he's just trying
to think of something funny.
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00:03:33,219 --> 00:03:36,187
That's my mom and dad
in this band they had.
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00:03:36,189 --> 00:03:39,157
Mom said there were a lot of guys...
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00:03:39,159 --> 00:03:43,195
trying to get her attention,
but she only had eyes for him.
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She said he wrote the
most dreamy music.
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Thing is, he still
does, just not for her.
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00:03:51,705 --> 00:03:57,643
My first love was
a crème brulée...
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00:03:57,645 --> 00:04:00,345
that I had in the south
of France when I was 12.
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00:04:00,347 --> 00:04:02,580
You're so emotionally retarded, Dad.
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00:04:02,582 --> 00:04:05,517
- Thank you. All right, hang on.
- (CELL PHONE RINGING)
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00:04:05,519 --> 00:04:07,185
Hey, Jimmy.
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00:04:07,187 --> 00:04:08,286
[JIMMY] (OVER PHONE) I'm
patchin' Ethan in.
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00:04:08,288 --> 00:04:09,922
- Okay.
- But I got everything...
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00:04:09,924 --> 00:04:12,590
all of Harold's numbers,
bank accounts, loans, debts...
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00:04:12,592 --> 00:04:14,326
[MACKENZIE] (V.O.) My Uncle
Jimmy has fallen in love...
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00:04:14,328 --> 00:04:16,428
like a gazillion times.
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00:04:16,430 --> 00:04:18,296
He says he's a romantic.
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- Look.
- [RORY] (OVER PHONE) Jimmy?
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[MACKENZIE] (V.O.)
There he goes again.
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00:04:21,901 --> 00:04:24,435
[RORY] (OVER PHONE) Jimmy?
Jimmy, you there?
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00:04:24,437 --> 00:04:26,904
Sorry, what? Sorry, where was I?
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00:04:26,906 --> 00:04:28,673
[RORY] (OVER PHONE) Having
your suspicions confirmed.
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00:04:28,675 --> 00:04:31,776
Right, confirming my suspicion
that people who write serious...
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00:04:31,778 --> 00:04:35,247
novels have a relatively
small pot to piss in.
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00:04:35,249 --> 00:04:36,582
Which is why this fucking
prenup is a whole...
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Dad!
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- Hey, honey!
- Hi, Dad.
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Your bus was very late.
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00:04:41,487 --> 00:04:44,423
Yeah, I know. I was on
it. Dad, this is Pink.
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00:04:44,425 --> 00:04:47,558
- Pink?
- Hey, dude.
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00:04:47,560 --> 00:04:50,461
She's coming with us for the weekend.
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00:04:50,463 --> 00:04:52,697
Well, honey, it's kind
of a special weekend...
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00:04:52,699 --> 00:04:53,966
don't you think?
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00:04:53,968 --> 00:04:55,433
Well, I brought a friend
to her last wedding.
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00:04:55,435 --> 00:04:56,767
But you were five.
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00:04:56,769 --> 00:04:58,002
I brought a friend at your last wedding.
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Thanks, babe.
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00:04:59,906 --> 00:05:01,973
Please, I finally erased that
whole debacle from my memory.
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00:05:01,975 --> 00:05:03,574
Where's the car?
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00:05:03,576 --> 00:05:05,480
- Right there.
- Come on.
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00:05:06,579 --> 00:05:08,346
Hello?
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00:05:08,348 --> 00:05:09,447
Where the hell's Ethan?
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00:05:09,449 --> 00:05:12,416
(MOANING)
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[MACKENZIE] (V.O.) My
Uncle Ethan says...
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00:05:14,420 --> 00:05:16,557
he's never getting married.
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00:05:18,692 --> 00:05:21,228
Oh! Fuck, my god!
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[MACKENZIE] (V.O.) He
says, why would he...
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with all the interesting people...
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00:05:27,267 --> 00:05:29,334
he meets on social media these days?
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Good boy, Yoyo. Good boy.
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00:05:33,007 --> 00:05:37,276
Oh, hey, Guy. Yeah. You
heard the new tracks?
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00:05:37,278 --> 00:05:39,444
Okay, so I'm gonna have
the number one album...
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00:05:39,446 --> 00:05:40,646
and the number one tour...
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if you pull your finger out of your ass.
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00:05:41,749 --> 00:05:43,918
Do your job. I want arenas.
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00:05:45,019 --> 00:05:47,685
- Oh, honey, look, look.
- No.
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00:05:47,687 --> 00:05:48,986
- Mom, please!
- Yes, yes, yes.
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00:05:48,988 --> 00:05:51,757
Hey, can you pull over?
Yes, yes, right here.
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[MACKENZIE] (V.O.) The
problem is that when...
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00:05:53,661 --> 00:05:56,560
it comes to relationships,
examples have to be set.
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00:05:56,562 --> 00:05:58,964
But in my case, the
adults setting them...
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00:05:58,966 --> 00:06:03,271
are quite possibly the
worst examples known to man.
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00:06:05,838 --> 00:06:08,440
Mom, Mom, that slope near the boathouse...
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00:06:08,442 --> 00:06:11,642
somebody's gonna go ass over
backwards into a lawsuit.
131
00:06:11,644 --> 00:06:14,478
Well, it leads down to the lake.
I don't want to board it up.
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00:06:14,480 --> 00:06:16,447
Well, can we at least
put up a couple of signs?
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Al, could you make up a
couple of signs that say...
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00:06:20,454 --> 00:06:21,752
"Beware of Steep Slope"?
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00:06:21,754 --> 00:06:23,587
- A sign?
- [PRISCILLA] Hello.
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00:06:23,589 --> 00:06:24,822
- Yeah, a sign's gonna save us...
- Oh, you're here.
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00:06:24,824 --> 00:06:26,324
a million dollars if someone falls...
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00:06:26,326 --> 00:06:27,928
- We're in here, Mom!
- Hi.
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00:06:29,028 --> 00:06:30,762
Sam.
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00:06:30,764 --> 00:06:32,497
Oh... Sam can't pass a
vintage clothing store...
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00:06:32,499 --> 00:06:33,764
without begging me to stop.
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00:06:33,766 --> 00:06:34,968
- Hello, darling.
- What's up, buddy?
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00:06:37,338 --> 00:06:39,671
Oh, that's for you. Come sit down.
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00:06:39,673 --> 00:06:41,440
- You look beautiful.
- Thank you.
145
00:06:41,442 --> 00:06:42,841
Sam, just do what I do.
146
00:06:42,843 --> 00:06:44,675
I donate all the clothes Mom gives me.
147
00:06:44,677 --> 00:06:48,079
I think your mother has
a charming fashion sense.
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So do I.
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00:06:49,382 --> 00:06:51,082
- This is lovely.
- Yeah.
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00:06:51,084 --> 00:06:54,652
Sam! Tell me, how is your father?
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00:06:54,654 --> 00:06:56,555
He's in Miami.
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00:06:56,557 --> 00:06:58,824
Yeah. Sebastian and I broke up.
153
00:06:58,826 --> 00:07:00,091
Why?
154
00:07:00,093 --> 00:07:01,959
Well, you know, it was either that...
155
00:07:01,961 --> 00:07:03,127
or I was gonna strangle him.
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00:07:03,129 --> 00:07:04,865
Sure, the go-to options.
157
00:07:06,500 --> 00:07:09,000
- [MACKENZIE] So, Eve.
- Mm-hm.
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00:07:09,002 --> 00:07:11,673
[MACKENZIE] (V.O.) What can you
tell us about your first love?
159
00:07:15,776 --> 00:07:17,743
Oh.
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00:07:17,745 --> 00:07:22,714
There was a beautiful boy, Cosmo.
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00:07:22,716 --> 00:07:25,584
He was the reason I
joined the theater class...
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00:07:25,586 --> 00:07:27,017
where I met Laurence.
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00:07:27,019 --> 00:07:30,055
Of course, Cosmo wasn't
interested in girls.
164
00:07:30,057 --> 00:07:34,659
Yeah, duh. Of course, his name is "Cosmo."
165
00:07:34,661 --> 00:07:39,063
All right, so what, your
first love was Laurence?
166
00:07:39,065 --> 00:07:42,601
I remember the first time
Laurence and I rehearsed.
167
00:07:42,603 --> 00:07:49,408
He looked at me with that
smoldering stare that he has.
168
00:07:49,410 --> 00:07:51,846
I mean, you know, you know the one.
169
00:07:52,980 --> 00:07:54,812
I know it well.
170
00:07:54,814 --> 00:07:59,784
And it was, "Goodbye
Cosmo..." "Hello Laurence."
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00:07:59,786 --> 00:08:02,856
(MUSIC PLAYING)
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00:08:07,761 --> 00:08:10,428
♪ It's scratchy songs
that earn you fame ♪
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[EVE] (V.O.) Now of course,
Laurence has had the career...
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00:08:13,699 --> 00:08:16,968
every actor would dream of having...
175
00:08:16,970 --> 00:08:20,005
unless of course,
you're Laurence Darling.
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00:08:20,007 --> 00:08:24,709
He's recognized as a great actor.
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00:08:24,711 --> 00:08:28,846
I'm just a simple movie star.
178
00:08:28,848 --> 00:08:32,854
And he could find
that very annoying.
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00:08:41,794 --> 00:08:43,127
Morning.
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00:08:43,129 --> 00:08:44,731
Morning.
181
00:08:51,672 --> 00:08:54,841
(MUSIC CONTINUES)
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00:09:08,154 --> 00:09:10,855
- Boys, boys, boys.
- Dad!
183
00:09:10,857 --> 00:09:14,559
It's so good to see you.
Why isn't it more often?
184
00:09:14,561 --> 00:09:16,594
Probably 'cause you never
return any of our calls.
185
00:09:16,596 --> 00:09:17,863
Dad, Dad, Dad.
186
00:09:17,865 --> 00:09:20,131
It was a rhetorical question, James.
187
00:09:20,133 --> 00:09:23,033
We all have such busy lives now.
188
00:09:23,035 --> 00:09:24,802
Laurence.
189
00:09:24,804 --> 00:09:27,539
- The Lady Eve.
- How are you?
190
00:09:27,541 --> 00:09:29,510
I am grand.
191
00:09:30,977 --> 00:09:34,646
I have come to see you off again.
192
00:09:34,648 --> 00:09:37,114
Maybe we'll get it right this time.
193
00:09:37,116 --> 00:09:39,084
That's why I'm here, to make sure that...
194
00:09:39,086 --> 00:09:40,951
this one is a keeper.
195
00:09:40,953 --> 00:09:42,686
You are so thoughtful...
196
00:09:42,688 --> 00:09:45,223
as if you'd have any
idea what a keeper was.
197
00:09:45,225 --> 00:09:46,992
[PRISCILLA] Laurence!
198
00:09:46,994 --> 00:09:50,295
I'm sensing a theme here.
199
00:09:50,297 --> 00:09:53,031
Are all the exes invited?
200
00:09:53,033 --> 00:09:54,965
Just the ones Mom likes.
201
00:09:54,967 --> 00:09:56,300
And they're still alive.
202
00:09:56,302 --> 00:09:59,603
Well, I'm glad I still qualify.
203
00:09:59,605 --> 00:10:01,805
Has the great man arrived?
204
00:10:01,807 --> 00:10:06,677
Not yet. His sense of timing's
even better than yours.
205
00:10:06,679 --> 00:10:08,949
Upstaged again?
206
00:10:14,754 --> 00:10:17,222
[ROSE] Bad girls?
207
00:10:17,224 --> 00:10:20,090
Right. Bad Girls, Bad Girls...
208
00:10:20,092 --> 00:10:22,993
Dad, come on. It was
one of her biggest hits.
209
00:10:22,995 --> 00:10:24,762
Oh yeah, got it.
210
00:10:24,764 --> 00:10:29,133
Eve steals into a prison...
an Indonesian prison...
211
00:10:29,135 --> 00:10:31,736
to save her daughter, who's
wrongly accused of murder.
212
00:10:31,738 --> 00:10:34,104
Okay, and, it ends?
213
00:10:34,106 --> 00:10:35,543
Oh, fuck...
214
00:10:36,777 --> 00:10:40,911
Hang on, just a minute. Oh. Yes.
215
00:10:40,913 --> 00:10:44,682
It turns out, the
daughter actually did it...
216
00:10:44,684 --> 00:10:46,751
but Eve takes her place
on the scaffold anyway.
217
00:10:46,753 --> 00:10:48,954
Actually, it's a rip-off
of Tale of Two Cities.
218
00:10:48,956 --> 00:10:50,789
Dad, I think it's very romantic...
219
00:10:50,791 --> 00:10:53,291
that you're going to all this effort.
220
00:10:53,293 --> 00:10:54,959
Thank you, Clemmie.
221
00:10:54,961 --> 00:10:59,033
Romantic? He's an absolute bloody miracle.
222
00:11:10,376 --> 00:11:13,945
♪ You're an angel
from up above ♪
223
00:11:13,947 --> 00:11:16,348
♪ Send down to give me love ♪
224
00:11:16,350 --> 00:11:17,951
[CLEMENTINE] Dad?
225
00:11:19,952 --> 00:11:21,621
Dad.
226
00:11:22,822 --> 00:11:24,191
I'm sorry.
227
00:11:37,837 --> 00:11:39,240
It's a big day here.
228
00:11:41,008 --> 00:11:43,708
- Waiting for Harold.
- It's a very good day.
229
00:11:43,710 --> 00:11:45,910
Harold, man. Oh.
230
00:11:45,912 --> 00:11:48,179
[MACKENZIE] Mum. Mummy.
231
00:11:48,181 --> 00:11:49,714
Hey, hey, hey.
232
00:11:49,716 --> 00:11:52,349
[ETHAN] Here they
come. Here they come.
233
00:11:52,351 --> 00:11:53,818
Oh, he's goin' around the wrong way.
234
00:11:53,820 --> 00:11:56,887
(HORN HONKING)
235
00:11:56,889 --> 00:11:59,991
[EVE] All right,
everyone, behave, behave.
236
00:11:59,993 --> 00:12:01,959
[ETHAN] Our new family.
237
00:12:01,961 --> 00:12:03,163
Four.
238
00:12:04,230 --> 00:12:07,701
Welcome! Welcome!
239
00:12:09,068 --> 00:12:11,171
And there's number five.
240
00:12:13,306 --> 00:12:15,843
Oh. Right!
241
00:12:16,874 --> 00:12:17,675
This is my daughter, Clemmie.
242
00:12:17,677 --> 00:12:19,310
- Hello, Clemmie...
- Hi.
243
00:12:19,312 --> 00:12:20,679
- I've heard so much about you.
- Lovely to meet you.
244
00:12:20,681 --> 00:12:21,845
- My daughter, Rose.
- Hi.
245
00:12:21,847 --> 00:12:23,882
Rose, yes.
246
00:12:23,884 --> 00:12:27,451
And this is Rose's friend,
and almost third daughter...
247
00:12:27,453 --> 00:12:30,055
- Saffron.
- Hello.
248
00:12:30,057 --> 00:12:31,422
- Come meet my family.
- Yeah.
249
00:12:31,424 --> 00:12:33,057
- There's Jimmy, my oldest.
- Hey, Jimmy.
250
00:12:33,059 --> 00:12:34,158
- James.
- James.
251
00:12:34,160 --> 00:12:35,259
- And then Rory.
- How are ya?
252
00:12:35,261 --> 00:12:36,427
- Hi, Rory.
- Ethan.
253
00:12:36,429 --> 00:12:37,829
Yeah, Ethan.
254
00:12:37,831 --> 00:12:39,263
Back there with the camera is Mackenzie.
255
00:12:39,265 --> 00:12:40,831
- Hi, Mackenzie.
- Whose mother is Priscilla...
256
00:12:40,833 --> 00:12:42,233
- who was married to Rory.
- Priscilla.
257
00:12:42,235 --> 00:12:45,236
[EVE] And here's Sam.
258
00:12:45,238 --> 00:12:48,940
You are doing...? Hi.
259
00:12:48,942 --> 00:12:50,340
My daughter, Mackenzie.
260
00:12:50,342 --> 00:12:52,076
- [HAROLD] We got Lara.
- Hi, Mackenzie.
261
00:12:52,078 --> 00:12:54,813
- Hi, Mackenzie. Nice to see you.
- Hi.
262
00:12:54,815 --> 00:12:57,949
[EVE] My nephew, Dylan, my brother's son...
263
00:12:57,951 --> 00:12:59,917
who sadly couldn't be here.
264
00:12:59,919 --> 00:13:01,252
- And.
- You're who?
265
00:13:01,254 --> 00:13:02,454
- Dylan.
- Dylan, hi.
266
00:13:02,456 --> 00:13:06,257
And, Laurence, the father of my sons.
267
00:13:06,259 --> 00:13:08,993
And Husband Number One,
what a great pleasure.
268
00:13:08,995 --> 00:13:10,462
I am a big fan.
269
00:13:10,464 --> 00:13:13,031
The pleasure is all mine. I'm a bigger fan.
270
00:13:13,033 --> 00:13:14,364
(MUSIC PLAYING)
271
00:13:14,366 --> 00:13:16,033
So you guys are in here.
272
00:13:16,035 --> 00:13:17,835
Oh, thank you very much.
273
00:13:17,837 --> 00:13:19,337
[MACKENZIE] (V.O) According
to Wikipedia...
274
00:13:19,339 --> 00:13:22,272
"Harold Alcott writes
novels about love...
275
00:13:22,274 --> 00:13:24,908
"that are tragically comedic."
276
00:13:24,910 --> 00:13:28,479
Which means, he's gonna fit
right in with this family.
277
00:13:28,481 --> 00:13:29,848
I missed you.
278
00:13:29,850 --> 00:13:31,315
Well, that's your fault.
279
00:13:31,317 --> 00:13:32,816
It's because you have
so many books to pack.
280
00:13:32,818 --> 00:13:34,252
Well, I'm a writer.
281
00:13:34,254 --> 00:13:36,087
Just as long as you have that book...
282
00:13:36,089 --> 00:13:37,756
with the pictures that we like.
283
00:13:37,758 --> 00:13:39,257
Oh...
284
00:13:39,259 --> 00:13:43,228
the Pompeian Bathhouses,
yeah, those saucy Romans.
285
00:13:43,230 --> 00:13:45,700
- I brought it in my hand luggage.
- Mm.
286
00:13:47,466 --> 00:13:50,937
Get out. Stop it...
287
00:13:53,072 --> 00:13:55,473
Oh.
288
00:13:55,475 --> 00:13:58,475
Did the cat get the cream?
289
00:13:58,477 --> 00:14:00,011
What cream?
290
00:14:00,013 --> 00:14:01,212
Silver Fox.
291
00:14:01,214 --> 00:14:03,046
Major hottie... for an old guy.
292
00:14:03,048 --> 00:14:05,916
Oh, you know, hang on here, you guys.
293
00:14:05,918 --> 00:14:08,987
You make me sound so... so superficial...
294
00:14:08,989 --> 00:14:12,489
like it's all about his granted
good looks, and not about his...
295
00:14:12,491 --> 00:14:15,096
big
whoopee-doo-doo.
296
00:14:17,197 --> 00:14:19,363
Do I really have to hear this?
297
00:14:19,365 --> 00:14:21,132
Did I wanna hear about you and Priscilla...
298
00:14:21,134 --> 00:14:22,467
and the best sex of all time?
299
00:14:22,469 --> 00:14:23,834
Hey, hey, hey!
300
00:14:23,836 --> 00:14:25,536
I never said that.
301
00:14:25,538 --> 00:14:27,171
- Really?
- Really?
302
00:14:27,173 --> 00:14:30,108
Do not repeat that to Mackenzie. Do not!
303
00:14:30,110 --> 00:14:32,176
It wasn't the greatest sex of my life...
304
00:14:32,178 --> 00:14:34,912
it was the greatest sex of his.
305
00:14:34,914 --> 00:14:36,750
Seriously?
306
00:14:40,287 --> 00:14:42,052
(MUSIC CONTINUES)
307
00:14:42,054 --> 00:14:43,490
Hello?
308
00:14:44,924 --> 00:14:46,391
Hello? Hi, yes.
309
00:14:46,393 --> 00:14:49,393
I'm trying to track down
an employee of yours.
310
00:14:49,395 --> 00:14:53,864
She drove the Montauk bus
yesterday that arrived at 11:45.
311
00:14:53,866 --> 00:14:55,566
Actually, I say it arrived at 11:45...
312
00:14:55,568 --> 00:14:58,268
but in point-in-fact,
it was very, very late.
313
00:14:58,270 --> 00:15:02,306
Why do I wish to contact her?
Is that any business of yours?
314
00:15:02,308 --> 00:15:05,980
I mean, I could be an estate attorney.
315
00:15:09,416 --> 00:15:12,116
[MACKENZIE] So, what
does marriage mean to you?
316
00:15:12,118 --> 00:15:14,585
What's your experience with that?
317
00:15:14,587 --> 00:15:16,054
(CLEARS THROAT)
318
00:15:16,056 --> 00:15:20,425
Uh... well...
319
00:15:20,427 --> 00:15:23,527
my parents fighting...
people getting divorced.
320
00:15:23,529 --> 00:15:25,463
Whoa, okay.
321
00:15:25,465 --> 00:15:29,136
You're being a little bit of a
Debbie Downer here. All right?
322
00:15:33,273 --> 00:15:36,406
What about first love?
323
00:15:36,408 --> 00:15:39,444
What's your experience with that?
324
00:15:39,446 --> 00:15:41,215
First love?
325
00:15:43,450 --> 00:15:45,282
Let me give that some thought.
326
00:15:45,284 --> 00:15:48,051
Dylan! Dylan, I'm still filming!
327
00:15:48,053 --> 00:15:49,456
(WATER SPLASHING)
328
00:15:52,458 --> 00:15:54,224
[MACKENZIE] Dylan.
329
00:15:54,226 --> 00:15:56,594
Girls, you know that crazy,
warm sensation you get...
330
00:15:56,596 --> 00:16:00,031
when you cross your legs
and squeeze really tight?
331
00:16:00,033 --> 00:16:01,431
Well, the first time I had that...
332
00:16:01,433 --> 00:16:05,203
the weirdo in me was thinking about Dylan.
333
00:16:05,205 --> 00:16:07,604
But, what would, of course,
get tongues wagging...
334
00:16:07,606 --> 00:16:13,210
around these parts is
that, Dylan and I are...
335
00:16:13,212 --> 00:16:15,512
technically first cousins.
336
00:16:15,514 --> 00:16:17,382
But first cousins once-removed.
337
00:16:17,384 --> 00:16:20,484
So, there's like a 3% chance
our kids would have like...
338
00:16:20,486 --> 00:16:22,286
15 fingers and three eyes.
339
00:16:22,288 --> 00:16:25,192
(MUSIC PLAYING)
340
00:16:27,159 --> 00:16:30,994
Okay, the first love
question was a bit leading...
341
00:16:30,996 --> 00:16:33,464
as Dylan and I have already kissed.
342
00:16:33,466 --> 00:16:38,038
But, it was last summer and
I haven't even seen him since.
343
00:16:39,505 --> 00:16:42,475
Anyway, it raises that age-old question.
344
00:16:44,076 --> 00:16:47,244
You know, can you ever go back?
345
00:16:47,246 --> 00:16:49,079
[EVE] That's exactly what I was thinking.
346
00:16:49,081 --> 00:16:51,114
Though, I think maybe a couple more here...
347
00:16:51,116 --> 00:16:52,583
possibly another hydrangea?
348
00:16:52,585 --> 00:16:54,588
- I think that'd be very nice.
- (CLEARS THROAT)
349
00:16:56,655 --> 00:16:59,723
The last thing I would call
either of us is selfish.
350
00:16:59,725 --> 00:17:03,194
In fact, the term "generous
to a fault" springs to mind.
351
00:17:03,196 --> 00:17:07,065
But in this instance, I
suggest we put it to the vote...
352
00:17:07,067 --> 00:17:10,701
to keep our one solitary
decanter of liquid nectar...
353
00:17:10,703 --> 00:17:14,238
a secret from the "vin
ordinaire" drinkers...
354
00:17:14,240 --> 00:17:18,508
and rendezvous back here après le diner.
355
00:17:18,510 --> 00:17:21,312
I second that motion and say, "Aye."
356
00:17:21,314 --> 00:17:23,081
"Aye."
357
00:17:23,083 --> 00:17:25,386
Harold and I will meet you back here.
358
00:17:28,087 --> 00:17:30,621
Yes, Harold.
359
00:17:30,623 --> 00:17:33,091
He's a fine wine man, is he?
360
00:17:33,093 --> 00:17:36,330
(MUSIC PLAYING)
361
00:17:43,702 --> 00:17:49,239
(PRISCILLA CHANTING)
362
00:17:49,241 --> 00:17:53,547
♪ Money pay me om om ♪
363
00:18:00,452 --> 00:18:04,287
- ♪ Om om ♪
- (TEXT NOTIFICATION)
364
00:18:04,289 --> 00:18:09,727
♪ Money pay me om om ♪
365
00:18:09,729 --> 00:18:12,132
(PHONE VIBRATES)
366
00:18:14,299 --> 00:18:17,501
♪ I don't wanna fuckin'
talk to you asshole ♪
367
00:18:17,503 --> 00:18:22,241
♪ Fuck you om om ♪
368
00:18:40,426 --> 00:18:41,461
Hey.
369
00:18:42,628 --> 00:18:44,030
Hey.
370
00:19:19,598 --> 00:19:21,731
Ciao.
371
00:19:21,733 --> 00:19:23,767
Sorry, Grandma.
372
00:19:23,769 --> 00:19:25,702
[MACKENZIE] (V.O.) It will
probably surprise you...
373
00:19:25,704 --> 00:19:27,838
to learn that Ethan
speaks five languages...
374
00:19:27,840 --> 00:19:29,539
Portuguese among them.
375
00:19:29,541 --> 00:19:31,676
So, he understood every word...
376
00:19:31,678 --> 00:19:34,511
of Saffron's phone call
to her quote "Grandma"...
377
00:19:34,513 --> 00:19:37,381
and explains the grin
she was referring to.
378
00:19:37,383 --> 00:19:39,116
[ETHAN] How 'bout we go on a little ride?
379
00:19:39,118 --> 00:19:42,186
I got some delicious
magic mushroom chocolates.
380
00:19:42,188 --> 00:19:43,421
You up for it?
381
00:19:43,423 --> 00:19:45,759
[SAFFRON] Mm, very naughty.
382
00:19:49,394 --> 00:19:51,394
(MUSIC CONTINUES)
383
00:19:51,396 --> 00:19:52,598
(WHINES)
384
00:19:54,200 --> 00:19:55,501
Half will get ya really high, easy.
385
00:19:58,738 --> 00:20:00,407
- Here.
- Mm.
386
00:20:05,478 --> 00:20:06,513
Ah!
387
00:20:13,353 --> 00:20:14,751
(LAUGHING)
388
00:20:14,753 --> 00:20:15,755
Whoo!
389
00:20:17,190 --> 00:20:18,890
(GROWLS)
390
00:20:18,892 --> 00:20:22,160
(SNORING)
391
00:20:22,162 --> 00:20:25,164
(MUSIC CONTINUES)
392
00:20:30,369 --> 00:20:32,572
(GROANS)
393
00:20:38,278 --> 00:20:40,545
(MUSIC FADES DOWN)
394
00:20:40,547 --> 00:20:42,412
To you.
395
00:20:42,414 --> 00:20:43,783
Cheers.
396
00:20:50,690 --> 00:20:54,228
Mm... ah.
397
00:20:56,863 --> 00:21:00,797
So, how's it going with the young actress?
398
00:21:00,799 --> 00:21:04,669
Young is a relative term, she's 36.
399
00:21:04,671 --> 00:21:07,904
She went back to her boyfriend,
at my suggestion, of course.
400
00:21:07,906 --> 00:21:10,807
They're getting married. Must be catching.
401
00:21:10,809 --> 00:21:13,312
I'll probably be at that wedding, as well.
402
00:21:16,481 --> 00:21:18,484
Ah, so that leaves a position to be filled.
403
00:21:19,786 --> 00:21:21,488
Hm.
404
00:21:22,788 --> 00:21:24,689
Already filled.
405
00:21:24,691 --> 00:21:29,826
So, tell me, am I giving
you away for good this time?
406
00:21:29,828 --> 00:21:32,395
Harold is an extraordinary man.
407
00:21:32,397 --> 00:21:36,299
That he is, but will he
understand your way of thinking?
408
00:21:36,301 --> 00:21:38,536
I don't think that way anymore.
409
00:21:38,538 --> 00:21:43,341
Fame, success, the flattery...
410
00:21:43,343 --> 00:21:44,709
I'll leave it all to you.
411
00:21:44,711 --> 00:21:47,844
Thank you. I'll take it.
412
00:21:47,846 --> 00:21:49,782
That's very generous of you.
413
00:21:53,486 --> 00:21:55,385
Eve didn't tell you I was coming, huh?
414
00:21:55,387 --> 00:21:57,287
Oh, I wonder why.
415
00:21:57,289 --> 00:21:59,789
Well, maybe she thought
you'd have a problem with it.
416
00:21:59,791 --> 00:22:00,924
- Oh, hey!
- What's up, guys?
417
00:22:00,926 --> 00:22:03,361
- Hey.
- Wear less!
418
00:22:03,363 --> 00:22:05,496
Okay, that happened.
419
00:22:05,498 --> 00:22:06,896
Look.
420
00:22:06,898 --> 00:22:09,267
A rock 'n roll tour is not a place...
421
00:22:09,269 --> 00:22:11,035
for a 16 year old girl, come on.
422
00:22:11,037 --> 00:22:12,370
Well, why don't you come?
423
00:22:12,372 --> 00:22:13,638
Oh, sure.
424
00:22:13,640 --> 00:22:16,340
What, now that Sebastian
is no longer needed?
425
00:22:16,342 --> 00:22:17,440
Sure.
426
00:22:17,442 --> 00:22:18,843
- Oh, honey.
- What?
427
00:22:18,845 --> 00:22:21,845
- I think I'd rather be dead.
- Shit.
428
00:22:21,847 --> 00:22:23,817
- Okay, good night.
- Okay, good night.
429
00:22:41,834 --> 00:22:44,971
(MUSIC PLAYING)
430
00:23:00,752 --> 00:23:03,589
(MUSIC CONTINUES)
431
00:23:10,430 --> 00:23:13,331
All right, now who's shaggable?
432
00:23:13,333 --> 00:23:17,567
I don't know, I can't decide between the...
433
00:23:17,569 --> 00:23:19,705
beautiful 17 year old boy...
434
00:23:22,909 --> 00:23:26,710
Saff! Or, the naughty
30-something year old...
435
00:23:26,712 --> 00:23:28,648
that you were tarting
around with last night.
436
00:23:29,949 --> 00:23:32,516
He's much more up your alley.
437
00:23:32,518 --> 00:23:33,487
- Right.
- He's all yours.
438
00:23:34,619 --> 00:23:36,120
How 'bout you, Clem?
439
00:23:36,122 --> 00:23:40,091
Why would I tell you,
Tweedleslap and Tweedleslapper?
440
00:23:40,093 --> 00:23:42,496
- Oh my god!
- Come on, Clem!
441
00:23:46,465 --> 00:23:47,664
Dad.
442
00:23:47,666 --> 00:23:49,132
Yeah?
443
00:23:49,134 --> 00:23:52,969
Eve's one and only
Golden Globe was for, A...
444
00:23:52,971 --> 00:23:57,510
Loves of a Blonde, or B, Blonde Love?
445
00:23:58,911 --> 00:24:01,612
Uh, Loves of a Blonde.
446
00:24:01,614 --> 00:24:06,484
[ROSE] Wrong. It was
actually for Blind Lover.
447
00:24:06,486 --> 00:24:09,489
That's a trick question. That's not fair.
448
00:24:13,459 --> 00:24:14,924
[ETHAN] An early wedding present.
449
00:24:14,926 --> 00:24:16,393
What is it?
450
00:24:16,395 --> 00:24:17,961
I got sent this the other day...
451
00:24:17,963 --> 00:24:20,463
and they want the two of us to
be in it playing mother and son.
452
00:24:20,465 --> 00:24:22,767
Oh, that's imaginative casting.
453
00:24:22,769 --> 00:24:23,968
It's actually a really good script.
454
00:24:23,970 --> 00:24:25,736
You should think about doing it.
455
00:24:25,738 --> 00:24:27,470
I'm in a wheelchair, you
end up in a wheelchair.
456
00:24:27,472 --> 00:24:29,774
Last scene is the two of
us dancing in wheelchairs.
457
00:24:29,776 --> 00:24:31,409
Lot of crying scenes.
458
00:24:31,411 --> 00:24:33,777
Really? I'm retired. You do it.
459
00:24:33,779 --> 00:24:36,980
- It's a both-or-nothing deal.
- Oh.
460
00:24:36,982 --> 00:24:39,583
- Will you at least read it?
- Oh, honey.
461
00:24:39,585 --> 00:24:42,786
Come on, on your honeymoon.
Gotta get out of bed sometime.
462
00:24:42,788 --> 00:24:44,555
- Bow-chicka-wawa.
- Oh, that is so bad.
463
00:24:44,557 --> 00:24:46,489
You are my son!
464
00:24:46,491 --> 00:24:48,459
- Where're you guys going?
- Venice.
465
00:24:48,461 --> 00:24:49,593
That's original.
466
00:24:49,595 --> 00:24:51,027
Well, it was Harold's idea.
467
00:24:51,029 --> 00:24:53,764
I didn't wanna start
off as a difficult wife.
468
00:24:53,766 --> 00:24:55,134
Then don't be a difficult mother.
469
00:24:58,003 --> 00:25:00,406
(PIANO PLAYING)
470
00:25:02,508 --> 00:25:05,578
[RORY] Okay. Eve and Harold's
wedding song, take one.
471
00:25:23,496 --> 00:25:26,963
♪ Bet the house bet the
farm Fourth time is a charm ♪
472
00:25:26,965 --> 00:25:30,567
♪ It's amazing what
a book tour can do ♪
473
00:25:30,569 --> 00:25:34,037
♪ He's tall debonair And
he's still got his hair ♪
474
00:25:34,039 --> 00:25:37,607
♪ Coolest couple in Vanity Fair ♪
475
00:25:37,609 --> 00:25:40,009
♪ Six weeks is all it took ♪
476
00:25:40,011 --> 00:25:43,980
♪ Two books and the sales are strong ♪
477
00:25:43,982 --> 00:25:46,717
♪ You know you can never go wrong ♪
478
00:25:46,719 --> 00:25:50,019
♪ When love comes along
You never go wrong ♪
479
00:25:50,021 --> 00:25:55,526
♪ When love comes along ♪
480
00:25:55,528 --> 00:26:01,634
♪ You never go wrong
When love comes along ♪
481
00:26:05,070 --> 00:26:09,775
♪ You never go wrong
When love comes along ♪
482
00:26:22,622 --> 00:26:24,921
I think it's very adult of
you to be this civilized.
483
00:26:24,923 --> 00:26:26,556
I mean, not everyone...
484
00:26:26,558 --> 00:26:28,992
would have their
ex-husband at their wedding.
485
00:26:28,994 --> 00:26:30,760
My mum would turn into The Exorcist...
486
00:26:30,762 --> 00:26:32,263
if Dad showed up at her wedding.
487
00:26:32,265 --> 00:26:33,963
Oh, god.
488
00:26:33,965 --> 00:26:37,000
Projectile green vomit.
Head 360. The whole thing.
489
00:26:37,002 --> 00:26:39,103
She still really hates him.
490
00:26:39,105 --> 00:26:41,205
Dare one ask why?
491
00:26:41,207 --> 00:26:45,109
Oh, well, as Dorothy Parker once said...
492
00:26:45,111 --> 00:26:47,777
"Hogamous, Higamous, Man is polygamous..."
493
00:26:47,779 --> 00:26:50,115
"Higamous, Hogamous, Woman is monogamous."
494
00:26:53,786 --> 00:26:56,120
I doubt Dorothy Parker actually said that.
495
00:26:56,122 --> 00:26:58,655
Yes, it has a man's
fingerprints all over it.
496
00:26:58,657 --> 00:27:01,792
Yes, it sounds suspiciously self-serving.
497
00:27:01,794 --> 00:27:03,760
You know, if it helps
explain anything, Rose...
498
00:27:03,762 --> 00:27:07,565
Mom and Dad here were like
the poster couple for divorce.
499
00:27:07,567 --> 00:27:09,600
Yeah, they gave each other divorce gifts.
500
00:27:09,602 --> 00:27:11,669
Really? What?
501
00:27:11,671 --> 00:27:12,969
Oh, I've forgotten.
502
00:27:12,971 --> 00:27:14,771
Me, too.
503
00:27:14,773 --> 00:27:16,940
Actually, one time, Mom took the
three of us out of the country...
504
00:27:16,942 --> 00:27:19,276
for a vacation and she
didn't get Dad's permission.
505
00:27:19,278 --> 00:27:22,046
Dad waited patiently until
we got back, and then...
506
00:27:22,048 --> 00:27:25,181
had Mom arrested at the airport
and put in prison for the night.
507
00:27:25,183 --> 00:27:26,717
What a guy.
508
00:27:26,719 --> 00:27:28,352
Character-building.
509
00:27:28,354 --> 00:27:30,086
And when Dad came back after
having been away working...
510
00:27:30,088 --> 00:27:31,755
for three months...
511
00:27:31,757 --> 00:27:33,958
he found that Mom had completely
redecorated the suite...
512
00:27:33,960 --> 00:27:35,225
and put it on the bill.
513
00:27:35,227 --> 00:27:37,730
Yes, it was much more cheerful.
514
00:27:39,332 --> 00:27:42,769
(MUSIC PLAYING)
515
00:27:56,715 --> 00:27:57,716
Hello, there!
516
00:28:03,990 --> 00:28:05,922
Hey! Ole!
517
00:28:05,924 --> 00:28:07,690
My best man!
518
00:28:07,692 --> 00:28:12,132
(SPEAKING SPANISH)
519
00:28:14,133 --> 00:28:17,101
(SPEAKING SPANISH)
520
00:28:17,103 --> 00:28:19,769
I just think we have to
make at least one attempt...
521
00:28:19,771 --> 00:28:22,739
to get Mom to do a prenup.
522
00:28:22,741 --> 00:28:25,742
I don't know. She's done
quite well for herself, so far.
523
00:28:25,744 --> 00:28:29,212
Yeah, but so far, all of
her husbands have had money.
524
00:28:29,214 --> 00:28:30,713
Except for you.
525
00:28:30,715 --> 00:28:32,017
- 'Course.
- Yeah.
526
00:28:36,655 --> 00:28:39,158
(MUMBLING INDISTINCT)
527
00:28:43,663 --> 00:28:46,697
So what does true love mean to you, Mother?
528
00:28:46,699 --> 00:28:48,699
True love?
529
00:28:48,701 --> 00:28:50,767
Um...
530
00:28:50,769 --> 00:28:56,073
Well, you know, if at first you
don't succeed, try, try again.
531
00:28:56,075 --> 00:28:58,741
Which is what I keep saying
about those songs, Mom.
532
00:28:58,743 --> 00:29:01,245
- [PRISCILLA] What songs?
- [SAM] Your new ones.
533
00:29:01,247 --> 00:29:03,080
What do you know, anyway?
534
00:29:03,082 --> 00:29:05,185
You sing along with Les Mis.
535
00:29:07,787 --> 00:29:12,726
Mommy is a rock goddess.
Mommy is a rock goddess.
536
00:29:18,830 --> 00:29:22,199
A couple of my novels that
were turned into films...
537
00:29:22,201 --> 00:29:26,135
sent me to bed with a bottle of scotch.
538
00:29:26,137 --> 00:29:30,207
Oh, well, that's where the films
I'm usually in these days...
539
00:29:30,209 --> 00:29:32,008
always send me.
540
00:29:32,010 --> 00:29:34,344
And why I'm in graceful retirement.
541
00:29:34,346 --> 00:29:37,480
Yeah. But that is such a pity, Eve.
542
00:29:37,482 --> 00:29:39,717
You played some great roles.
543
00:29:39,719 --> 00:29:41,285
Has she... she has.
544
00:29:41,287 --> 00:29:43,123
Harold has seen all my work.
545
00:29:45,758 --> 00:29:48,057
You've seen all of Eve's films?
546
00:29:48,059 --> 00:29:49,192
Yeah.
547
00:29:49,194 --> 00:29:50,827
[LAURENCE] Seriously?
548
00:29:50,829 --> 00:29:53,863
Uh, well you know, nearly all.
549
00:29:53,865 --> 00:29:58,203
And which performance
do you treasure the most?
550
00:30:00,472 --> 00:30:03,841
Well, I'd have to say...
551
00:30:03,843 --> 00:30:06,242
it was the first time I saw you on screen.
552
00:30:06,244 --> 00:30:09,880
You were playing a waitress in a diner...
553
00:30:09,882 --> 00:30:12,015
who kept getting the orders wrong.
554
00:30:12,017 --> 00:30:15,919
And you nearly killed this
poor guy who had a nut allergy.
555
00:30:15,921 --> 00:30:18,287
It was hilarious.
556
00:30:18,289 --> 00:30:22,258
Available Man. Laurence got me that part.
557
00:30:22,260 --> 00:30:28,198
Yes, I also played the
guy with the nut allergy.
558
00:30:28,200 --> 00:30:30,933
Though, that wasn't Eve's
first leading role...
559
00:30:30,935 --> 00:30:34,138
it was meant to be, anyways, supporting.
560
00:30:34,140 --> 00:30:36,105
Well obviously, yes.
561
00:30:36,107 --> 00:30:40,879
Um, in a leading role,
I would have to say...
562
00:30:43,281 --> 00:30:46,415
Bad Girls was very moving.
563
00:30:46,417 --> 00:30:52,291
Hm... hm... hm.
564
00:30:55,059 --> 00:30:56,392
Mm.
565
00:30:56,394 --> 00:30:57,995
Look, it doesn't have to be perfect.
566
00:30:57,997 --> 00:30:59,462
Just, can you get a
prenup here by tomorrow?
567
00:30:59,464 --> 00:31:02,498
- (DANCE MUSIC PLAYING)
- Dance party!
568
00:31:02,500 --> 00:31:04,168
Here we go.
569
00:31:04,170 --> 00:31:05,205
Taking us down the road. Let's do it.
570
00:31:11,442 --> 00:31:13,747
Step, and down.
571
00:31:18,284 --> 00:31:19,385
Okay.
572
00:31:21,220 --> 00:31:23,253
Step, step, clap, clap.
573
00:31:23,255 --> 00:31:24,891
Work it, girl. Work it!
574
00:31:26,959 --> 00:31:28,392
Here we go. Here we go.
575
00:31:28,394 --> 00:31:31,027
- Oh, come on. You can get this!
- H'yah! Fuck off!
576
00:31:31,029 --> 00:31:32,965
- These are our tarts!
- Get outta here.
577
00:31:35,334 --> 00:31:36,769
Okay. Again.
578
00:31:41,606 --> 00:31:44,408
[LAURENCE] Do you really
think he's seen all your films?
579
00:31:44,410 --> 00:31:46,209
[EVE] Of course not...
580
00:31:46,211 --> 00:31:48,911
but I think it's sweet
that he pretends he has.
581
00:31:48,913 --> 00:31:50,346
And you never miss it?
582
00:31:50,348 --> 00:31:52,085
Oh, god, no.
583
00:31:54,854 --> 00:31:57,520
We always did it for different reasons.
584
00:31:57,522 --> 00:31:59,288
We did?
585
00:31:59,290 --> 00:32:01,357
Yeah. You did it...
586
00:32:01,359 --> 00:32:03,594
well, you still do it for the work...
587
00:32:03,596 --> 00:32:05,362
for the challenge of the work...
588
00:32:05,364 --> 00:32:08,599
for the absences the work affords.
589
00:32:08,601 --> 00:32:11,034
I always thought of the family
as integral to my work...
590
00:32:11,036 --> 00:32:13,370
and you thought of it as
detrimental to your work.
591
00:32:13,372 --> 00:32:14,971
Did I?
592
00:32:14,973 --> 00:32:17,039
Well speaking about
mixing family and work...
593
00:32:17,041 --> 00:32:20,142
Ethan has this movie he
wants me to act in with him.
594
00:32:20,144 --> 00:32:22,880
Good part?
595
00:32:22,882 --> 00:32:25,051
A mother in a wheelchair, apparently.
596
00:32:27,385 --> 00:32:31,388
Do you think it could be changed
to a father in a wheelchair?
597
00:32:31,390 --> 00:32:35,926
Possible Oscar bait.
"He walks away with it."
598
00:32:35,928 --> 00:32:38,461
"I'm supporting."
599
00:32:38,463 --> 00:32:41,163
"I'm supporting."
600
00:32:41,165 --> 00:32:46,105
"We start out supporting
and we end up supporting."
601
00:32:49,407 --> 00:32:52,544
(MUSIC PLAYING)
602
00:33:12,564 --> 00:33:15,134
- Hi.
- Hola.
603
00:33:19,070 --> 00:33:20,970
My sister wants to know
where Harry Potter is.
604
00:33:20,972 --> 00:33:22,207
Who?
605
00:33:24,175 --> 00:33:26,075
That's Dylan.
606
00:33:26,077 --> 00:33:28,545
He's your boyfriend?
607
00:33:28,547 --> 00:33:30,415
He's my cousin.
608
00:33:36,989 --> 00:33:38,521
My sister says, "Oh, good."
609
00:33:38,523 --> 00:33:39,524
Good?
610
00:33:42,260 --> 00:33:44,594
Um, he's actually my first cousin...
611
00:33:44,596 --> 00:33:46,531
He's my first cousin once removed.
612
00:34:05,416 --> 00:34:08,050
- Hola.
- Hi.
613
00:34:08,052 --> 00:34:09,385
Como estas?
614
00:34:09,387 --> 00:34:10,554
Uh, I'm good.
615
00:34:10,556 --> 00:34:12,090
So, how old are you?
616
00:34:17,628 --> 00:34:19,729
Okay.
617
00:34:19,731 --> 00:34:22,701
(SOFT MUSIC PLAYING)
618
00:34:26,038 --> 00:34:27,503
Do you need some help?
619
00:34:27,505 --> 00:34:30,007
Sure.
620
00:34:30,009 --> 00:34:32,141
But first, I have to confess something.
621
00:34:32,143 --> 00:34:34,411
Okay.
622
00:34:34,413 --> 00:34:36,380
I had my first serious snog to...
623
00:34:36,382 --> 00:34:38,749
Up All Night In The Diner With Julie.
624
00:34:38,751 --> 00:34:40,182
"Snog."
625
00:34:40,184 --> 00:34:43,086
That's English for, "make out", right?
626
00:34:43,088 --> 00:34:45,322
Yes, but with lots and lots of tongue.
627
00:34:45,324 --> 00:34:49,793
All right, well, that was
a great choice to snog to.
628
00:34:49,795 --> 00:34:51,128
It was amazing.
629
00:34:51,130 --> 00:34:53,030
I'm glad to hear it.
630
00:34:53,032 --> 00:34:56,566
So, being a bit of a fan,
can I ask you three questions?
631
00:34:56,568 --> 00:34:59,635
All right. Go for it.
632
00:34:59,637 --> 00:35:02,007
Why did you stop writing?
633
00:35:05,643 --> 00:35:08,811
Who said I stopped?
634
00:35:08,813 --> 00:35:12,081
Right. Okay.
635
00:35:12,083 --> 00:35:14,083
Why did you leave your band?
636
00:35:14,085 --> 00:35:16,219
Oh, it was never really my band.
637
00:35:16,221 --> 00:35:17,521
It was our band.
638
00:35:17,523 --> 00:35:19,188
But, you know, you got a lead singer...
639
00:35:19,190 --> 00:35:20,557
with a huge personality.
640
00:35:20,559 --> 00:35:22,559
It was always gonna be her band in the end.
641
00:35:22,561 --> 00:35:23,793
I mean, rightly so.
642
00:35:23,795 --> 00:35:25,263
And is that why you left?
643
00:35:27,398 --> 00:35:28,567
No, honestly, I...
644
00:35:30,668 --> 00:35:33,369
You know that whole rock
'n roll lifestyle thing...
645
00:35:33,371 --> 00:35:37,309
it just wasn't that important.
646
00:35:38,443 --> 00:35:40,342
No fame or money?
647
00:35:40,344 --> 00:35:45,050
No, it's not everything. I mean,
I figured that out pretty early.
648
00:35:47,585 --> 00:35:51,121
Okay, I have two questions.
649
00:35:51,123 --> 00:35:54,124
- Oh, really?
- Yes, I do.
650
00:35:54,126 --> 00:35:56,159
What is an Orange Prize?
651
00:35:56,161 --> 00:36:00,162
- Oh my god, you googled me!
- No, please.
652
00:36:00,164 --> 00:36:02,865
No, Eve told me one of Harold's
daughters was a novelist...
653
00:36:02,867 --> 00:36:05,568
and it's obviously not Rose.
654
00:36:05,570 --> 00:36:08,671
She said the Orange Prize had been won.
655
00:36:08,673 --> 00:36:11,141
An Orange Prize is an award...
656
00:36:11,143 --> 00:36:12,809
they give to first-time female authors...
657
00:36:12,811 --> 00:36:16,146
and I didn't win, I was shortlisted.
658
00:36:16,148 --> 00:36:19,382
Congratulations. Was it autobiographical?
659
00:36:19,384 --> 00:36:20,684
Why do you ask that?
660
00:36:20,686 --> 00:36:24,688
Oh, come on, it's about an older sister...
661
00:36:24,690 --> 00:36:27,423
who's kind of attractive
in a bookish kind of way...
662
00:36:27,425 --> 00:36:29,758
who lives with her hipster,
skirt-chasing dad and...
663
00:36:29,760 --> 00:36:31,293
wild-child, younger sister...
664
00:36:31,295 --> 00:36:33,829
and they all live on red wine and pizza?
665
00:36:33,831 --> 00:36:35,164
You read it.
666
00:36:35,166 --> 00:36:36,465
Sure.
667
00:36:36,467 --> 00:36:39,135
Gotta check up on my new step family.
668
00:36:39,137 --> 00:36:42,204
Some of it was me, yeah,
but most of it wasn't.
669
00:36:42,206 --> 00:36:44,374
I can't actually cook a Chicken Kiev.
670
00:36:44,376 --> 00:36:45,641
Not a problem.
671
00:36:45,643 --> 00:36:47,244
But I do like books.
672
00:36:47,246 --> 00:36:48,247
Obviously.
673
00:36:50,315 --> 00:36:52,816
Do you know, I would prefer if
you referred to me as kind of...
674
00:36:52,818 --> 00:36:55,385
sexy in a librarian
way, rather than bookish.
675
00:36:55,387 --> 00:36:56,653
Oh, you would prefer that, would you?
676
00:36:56,655 --> 00:36:57,787
- Yes.
- Well, you need glasses for...
677
00:36:57,789 --> 00:36:59,258
"sexy librarian."
678
00:37:12,204 --> 00:37:14,373
Soul patch.
679
00:37:16,208 --> 00:37:18,541
[EVE] "Such duty as the
subject owes the prince,"...
680
00:37:18,543 --> 00:37:20,844
"Even such a woman
oweth to her husband;"...
681
00:37:20,846 --> 00:37:24,347
"And if she is froward, peevish, sullen..."
682
00:37:24,349 --> 00:37:27,583
"sour and not obedient
to his honest will..."
683
00:37:27,585 --> 00:37:30,519
"What is she but a foul
contending rebel..."
684
00:37:30,521 --> 00:37:34,192
"And graceless traitor to her loving lord?"
685
00:37:36,327 --> 00:37:38,597
I'm not just a fuckin' movie star.
686
00:37:40,731 --> 00:37:44,467
[PRISCILLA] Yeah, it's Priscilla
for Guy. No, I don't wanna hold.
687
00:37:44,469 --> 00:37:45,936
[PRISCILLA] I don't wanna
hold, I don't wanna hold!
688
00:37:45,938 --> 00:37:48,307
Yeah. I wanna write a book.
689
00:37:50,775 --> 00:37:52,144
About me!
690
00:37:57,248 --> 00:37:59,416
You've never seen any of my films?
691
00:37:59,418 --> 00:38:00,883
I don't think so.
692
00:38:00,885 --> 00:38:03,320
Do you go to the theater?
693
00:38:03,322 --> 00:38:05,521
- What?
- Not if we can help it.
694
00:38:05,523 --> 00:38:09,258
Wait, hang on. Were you in
the last Sponge Bob film?
695
00:38:09,260 --> 00:38:10,726
I was, indeed.
696
00:38:10,728 --> 00:38:12,729
Oh my god! I love Sponge Bob!
697
00:38:12,731 --> 00:38:13,996
Oh, yeah?
698
00:38:13,998 --> 00:38:15,965
You actually used to
be quite good-looking.
699
00:38:15,967 --> 00:38:17,534
Put on some weight, though.
700
00:38:17,536 --> 00:38:18,767
Come on, Saffie, let's get a drinky.
701
00:38:18,769 --> 00:38:21,804
Actually, I've lost weight.
702
00:38:21,806 --> 00:38:23,240
What'd I miss?
703
00:38:23,242 --> 00:38:25,608
My whole career, apparently.
704
00:38:25,610 --> 00:38:27,409
- That's it. I'm moving out.
- What?
705
00:38:27,411 --> 00:38:28,912
You're killing me with
the secondhand smoke...
706
00:38:28,914 --> 00:38:30,447
and you don't even care.
707
00:38:30,449 --> 00:38:33,617
I do care! But you're not dead yet.
708
00:38:33,619 --> 00:38:37,787
Go, go over there and
have the fresh air. Go on.
709
00:38:37,789 --> 00:38:40,289
$50 says Dad brings up his Tony at dinner.
710
00:38:40,291 --> 00:38:41,891
No way. $50 it's before the main course.
711
00:38:41,893 --> 00:38:43,525
$100 it's before the salad...
712
00:38:43,527 --> 00:38:45,561
and he got it for Pirandello's Henry IV.
713
00:38:45,563 --> 00:38:47,597
- That's bold.
- Watch and learn.
714
00:38:47,599 --> 00:38:49,898
- I'll take desert.
- All right, man.
715
00:38:49,900 --> 00:38:53,603
So wait-wait-wait, you guys
met in a jailhouse, for women?
716
00:38:53,605 --> 00:38:55,505
Yeah, it's actually a really
good way to meet people.
717
00:38:55,507 --> 00:38:56,474
Here we go, here we go.
718
00:38:58,777 --> 00:39:02,412
I, for one, would like to commend Eve...
719
00:39:02,414 --> 00:39:06,782
on her optimism and her perseverance...
720
00:39:06,784 --> 00:39:09,254
- and of course, her courage...
- Yeah.
721
00:39:11,056 --> 00:39:14,923
...in taking this plunge yet again.
722
00:39:14,925 --> 00:39:17,494
- Brave girl.
- I must say, I was surprised.
723
00:39:17,496 --> 00:39:21,498
In fact, I would have
wagered my Tony Award...
724
00:39:21,500 --> 00:39:22,798
for my performance...
725
00:39:22,800 --> 00:39:26,603
- in Pirandello's Henry IV...
- Bastard.
726
00:39:26,605 --> 00:39:28,570
against the idea that you would ever...
727
00:39:28,572 --> 00:39:32,342
tread down this path again, my darling.
728
00:39:32,344 --> 00:39:36,045
But having met Harold, I think I get it.
729
00:39:36,047 --> 00:39:38,347
To Eve and Harold.
730
00:39:38,349 --> 00:39:40,083
[ALL] To Eve and Harold.
731
00:39:40,085 --> 00:39:41,517
- Salut.
- Salut.
732
00:39:41,519 --> 00:39:42,755
Here you go.
733
00:39:47,858 --> 00:39:50,994
So, lovebirds, hey...
734
00:39:50,996 --> 00:39:55,831
I know it's customary to give
the gifts after the wedding...
735
00:39:55,833 --> 00:39:58,601
but I really wanna give you my gift now.
736
00:39:58,603 --> 00:39:59,836
- Right now.
- Sure.
737
00:39:59,838 --> 00:40:03,440
- Love it.
- Cheers.
738
00:40:03,442 --> 00:40:08,878
♪ Hey little sister
what have you done ♪
739
00:40:08,880 --> 00:40:14,784
♪ Hey little sister
who's the only one ♪
740
00:40:14,786 --> 00:40:17,854
♪ Hey little sister
who's your superman ♪
741
00:40:17,856 --> 00:40:20,724
♪ Little sister who's
the one you want ♪
742
00:40:20,726 --> 00:40:22,726
♪ Little sister shotgun ♪
743
00:40:22,728 --> 00:40:27,863
♪ It's a nice day for a Wilde Wedding ♪
744
00:40:27,865 --> 00:40:29,999
Woo!
745
00:40:30,001 --> 00:40:31,937
(BAND PLAYING)
746
00:40:38,643 --> 00:40:41,947
♪ Hey little sister
who's it you're with ♪
747
00:40:44,148 --> 00:40:48,386
♪ Hey little sister
what's your vice or wish ♪
748
00:40:49,820 --> 00:40:52,889
♪ Hey little sister shotgun oh yeah ♪
749
00:40:52,891 --> 00:40:55,758
♪ Little sister who's your superman ♪
750
00:40:55,760 --> 00:40:57,427
♪ Little sister shotgun ♪
751
00:40:57,429 --> 00:41:00,996
♪ It's a nice day to start again ♪
752
00:41:00,998 --> 00:41:03,166
Woo!
753
00:41:03,168 --> 00:41:06,603
♪ It's a nice day for a Wilde Wedding ♪
754
00:41:06,605 --> 00:41:08,905
Wow!
755
00:41:08,907 --> 00:41:13,846
♪ It's a nice day to start again ♪
756
00:41:23,155 --> 00:41:24,586
- ♪ Hey little sister ♪
- That's your daughter.
757
00:41:24,588 --> 00:41:28,958
♪ What have you done ♪
758
00:41:28,960 --> 00:41:34,197
♪ Hey little sister
who's the only one ♪
759
00:41:34,199 --> 00:41:37,099
♪ I've been away for so long ♪
760
00:41:37,101 --> 00:41:39,936
♪ I let you go for so so long now ♪
761
00:41:39,938 --> 00:41:41,938
♪ Hey little sister shot gun ♪
762
00:41:41,940 --> 00:41:44,807
♪ It's a nice day to ♪
763
00:41:44,809 --> 00:41:47,943
- Care to dance?
- ♪ Start again ♪
764
00:41:47,945 --> 00:41:52,014
♪ Oh it's a nice day
for a Wilde Wedding ♪
765
00:41:52,016 --> 00:41:53,615
Fuck off.
766
00:41:53,617 --> 00:41:58,556
♪ It's a nice day to start again ♪
767
00:42:04,195 --> 00:42:05,994
Hello, this is James Darling.
768
00:42:05,996 --> 00:42:08,231
I called yesterday trying to
track down the young lady...
769
00:42:08,233 --> 00:42:13,068
who drove the Montauk bus,
that did not arrive at 11:45.
770
00:42:13,070 --> 00:42:16,005
And you asked me why I
wanted to contact her.
771
00:42:16,007 --> 00:42:19,608
And, well, the reason is...
772
00:42:19,610 --> 00:42:21,845
when I saw her...
773
00:42:21,847 --> 00:42:24,914
in her not-very-flattering
jitney uniform, by the way...
774
00:42:24,916 --> 00:42:30,487
when I saw her, the little
voice in my head said...
775
00:42:30,489 --> 00:42:32,889
"This is the one..."
776
00:42:32,891 --> 00:42:34,523
Fuck!
777
00:42:34,525 --> 00:42:37,126
- Easy, man. I'm not a horse.
- What happened?
778
00:42:37,128 --> 00:42:39,628
- Gentle.
- Jimmy?
779
00:42:39,630 --> 00:42:41,063
Jimmy?
780
00:42:41,065 --> 00:42:43,566
Oh.
781
00:42:43,568 --> 00:42:46,806
I fucking tripped over
the "Beware of Slope" sign.
782
00:42:50,876 --> 00:42:53,543
- Oh my god, that is too funny.
- All right, Mom.
783
00:42:53,545 --> 00:42:55,878
It's just a grade-one ankle sprain.
784
00:42:55,880 --> 00:42:59,949
There's no sign of anterior
talofibular disruption.
785
00:42:59,951 --> 00:43:01,985
Really, that's your professional diagnosis?
786
00:43:01,987 --> 00:43:03,720
[LAURENCE] It is, indeed, James.
787
00:43:03,722 --> 00:43:08,191
One of the great things
about acting on the stage...
788
00:43:08,193 --> 00:43:11,159
is that one gets to inhabit a role.
789
00:43:11,161 --> 00:43:13,229
And you might be aware...
790
00:43:13,231 --> 00:43:17,566
that I have rather
famously played a doctor.
791
00:43:17,568 --> 00:43:19,269
Doctor Doolittle?
792
00:43:19,271 --> 00:43:21,237
And your point is?
793
00:43:21,239 --> 00:43:25,041
You bandaged the leg of an
animatronic giraffe, singing...
794
00:43:25,043 --> 00:43:26,976
"If I could talk to the animals"?
795
00:43:26,978 --> 00:43:30,313
And I was complimented on my technique...
796
00:43:30,315 --> 00:43:33,519
- by numerous physicians.
- Bravo.
797
00:43:36,054 --> 00:43:39,722
Actually, I would like to
compliment you, Laurence...
798
00:43:39,724 --> 00:43:42,891
on your very gracious toast.
799
00:43:42,893 --> 00:43:44,927
I meant every word I said.
800
00:43:44,929 --> 00:43:50,066
You are amazingly courageous,
amazingly tenacious...
801
00:43:50,068 --> 00:43:54,570
and amazingly naive.
802
00:43:54,572 --> 00:43:56,171
Said the ol' cynic.
803
00:43:56,173 --> 00:43:58,273
Come on, Laurence, what are
you still holding out for?
804
00:43:58,275 --> 00:43:59,742
I'm not holding out.
805
00:43:59,744 --> 00:44:03,345
I like my birdcage empty, thank you.
806
00:44:03,347 --> 00:44:08,083
Anyway, why would I want
a new wife and new family...
807
00:44:08,085 --> 00:44:11,588
when I already have the best ex-wife...
808
00:44:11,590 --> 00:44:14,958
and raised the most perfect
family any man could want?
809
00:44:14,960 --> 00:44:16,592
Oh my god, Dad...
810
00:44:16,594 --> 00:44:19,162
you have lived in a hotel
suite for the last 30 years.
811
00:44:19,164 --> 00:44:20,963
With one fucking bedroom.
812
00:44:20,965 --> 00:44:23,034
When we wanted to see
you, we had to check in.
813
00:44:26,972 --> 00:44:30,106
I think marriage is
challenging, formidable...
814
00:44:30,108 --> 00:44:34,242
and to be taken very seriously...
815
00:44:34,244 --> 00:44:37,746
like a great heroic adventure.
816
00:44:37,748 --> 00:44:41,050
Captain Scott heading
off into the Antarctic.
817
00:44:41,052 --> 00:44:43,021
Does that make me the South Pole?
818
00:44:44,989 --> 00:44:48,326
Where I would be very
happy to plant my flag.
819
00:45:06,143 --> 00:45:07,912
Yeah!
820
00:45:20,224 --> 00:45:21,826
[SAM] Look at this one!
821
00:45:37,041 --> 00:45:38,177
See ya.
822
00:45:43,748 --> 00:45:46,983
You did remember the birdcage.
823
00:45:46,985 --> 00:45:50,318
How could I forget, the
best piece of advice...
824
00:45:50,320 --> 00:45:52,954
an ex-wife ever gave to a man?
825
00:45:52,956 --> 00:45:54,292
"You can't lock me up."
826
00:45:55,893 --> 00:45:57,726
Lock you up?
827
00:45:57,728 --> 00:45:58,961
Yes.
828
00:45:58,963 --> 00:46:01,831
Oh, god.
829
00:46:01,833 --> 00:46:05,304
After all these years and you had no clue.
830
00:46:06,471 --> 00:46:08,271
It's not about you.
831
00:46:08,273 --> 00:46:10,273
It's not? But I hate that.
832
00:46:10,275 --> 00:46:13,409
No, the birdcage was so you could...
833
00:46:13,411 --> 00:46:17,012
keep the next Mrs.
Darling from flying away.
834
00:46:17,014 --> 00:46:18,717
Like the first one did.
835
00:46:21,318 --> 00:46:23,151
- It was?
- Yes.
836
00:46:23,153 --> 00:46:25,755
No wait, I thought it
was because, you know...
837
00:46:25,757 --> 00:46:29,092
you can fly in, but then
if you wanted to fly out...
838
00:46:29,094 --> 00:46:31,296
you know, to meet up with other roosters...
839
00:46:39,103 --> 00:46:41,771
Hello, my lady. Where's Saffron?
840
00:46:41,773 --> 00:46:43,342
Gone inside.
841
00:46:48,445 --> 00:46:50,479
Homemade chocolates?
842
00:46:50,481 --> 00:46:53,184
They're super-delicious, and a lot of fun.
843
00:46:54,818 --> 00:46:56,853
What sort of fun?
844
00:46:56,855 --> 00:46:58,923
Let's just say they're
in the 'shroom family.
845
00:47:09,800 --> 00:47:11,103
Wanna go for a moonlight ride?
846
00:47:14,938 --> 00:47:15,940
I'll go change.
847
00:47:25,784 --> 00:47:27,753
Do you know what's great about us?
848
00:47:29,387 --> 00:47:31,390
We've been through all the bad times.
849
00:47:33,324 --> 00:47:37,793
One of the benefits of being
apart so long is that...
850
00:47:37,795 --> 00:47:41,065
somebody else had to
take the knockout punches.
851
00:47:43,233 --> 00:47:47,036
And on that note, think I'll
have another drink. Anyone?
852
00:47:47,038 --> 00:47:50,072
No. I won't. I'm getting
married in the morning.
853
00:47:50,074 --> 00:47:52,175
I should think about going to bed.
854
00:47:52,177 --> 00:47:53,746
The night is young.
855
00:48:01,385 --> 00:48:06,088
Eve and Laurence have started
in on the merits of marriage.
856
00:48:06,090 --> 00:48:09,057
It's funny how they didn't have
that conversation 30 years ago.
857
00:48:09,059 --> 00:48:10,295
- Isn't it?
- Uh-huh.
858
00:48:11,896 --> 00:48:14,533
(PLAYING PIANO)
859
00:48:28,545 --> 00:48:31,112
I think that's enough of that.
860
00:48:31,114 --> 00:48:32,216
All right.
861
00:48:45,429 --> 00:48:47,563
Fuck.
862
00:48:47,565 --> 00:48:49,300
Fuck, fuck.
863
00:48:56,608 --> 00:48:58,407
Have you ever thought
what might've happened...
864
00:48:58,409 --> 00:49:01,110
if you'd never gotten me that part?
865
00:49:01,112 --> 00:49:05,581
Yeah. I might've been
mentioned in one of the reviews.
866
00:49:05,583 --> 00:49:08,387
I meant, what might've happened with us.
867
00:49:10,355 --> 00:49:11,920
I don't know.
868
00:49:11,922 --> 00:49:13,956
Would it've been different? Probably.
869
00:49:13,958 --> 00:49:16,157
Would it've been better? I don't know.
870
00:49:16,159 --> 00:49:17,562
Better than this?
871
00:49:20,530 --> 00:49:23,534
What if Harold feels there's
no room for an ex-husband?
872
00:49:25,235 --> 00:49:27,436
There's always room.
873
00:49:27,438 --> 00:49:29,974
Ah, but maybe no more room for this.
874
00:49:34,177 --> 00:49:37,045
May I tempt you?
875
00:49:37,047 --> 00:49:40,084
I have a wedding dress to fit into.
876
00:49:46,157 --> 00:49:49,228
You're going to be the
most beautiful bride.
877
00:49:57,467 --> 00:49:58,569
Hm.
878
00:50:02,507 --> 00:50:05,173
Hey.
879
00:50:05,175 --> 00:50:07,510
You wanna bake a cake?
880
00:50:07,512 --> 00:50:08,644
Okay.
881
00:50:08,646 --> 00:50:10,582
Fantastic. Let's go. Come on!
882
00:50:14,018 --> 00:50:17,320
Woo!
883
00:50:17,322 --> 00:50:18,987
- You feel anything?
- Yeah!
884
00:50:18,989 --> 00:50:20,188
I feel...
885
00:50:20,190 --> 00:50:23,258
fucking... amazing!
886
00:50:23,260 --> 00:50:25,260
All right, I will chop the mint.
887
00:50:25,262 --> 00:50:29,597
You pick the tune. Music is important.
888
00:50:29,599 --> 00:50:31,666
So what're we actually
doing here, Gordon Ramsey?
889
00:50:31,668 --> 00:50:35,670
Are you familiar with the chiffonade cut?
890
00:50:35,672 --> 00:50:37,608
No. What is it?
891
00:50:40,043 --> 00:50:43,179
Nice! Austrian Swing.
892
00:50:43,181 --> 00:50:46,081
Is that a lucky guess
or an excellent choice?
893
00:50:46,083 --> 00:50:47,483
No, it's not a lucky guess.
894
00:50:47,485 --> 00:50:49,217
- Really?
- Yeah.
895
00:50:49,219 --> 00:50:52,021
I spent two nights in a
soggy tent in Glastonbury...
896
00:50:52,023 --> 00:50:54,657
just so I could shake my
bum to these gentlemen.
897
00:50:54,659 --> 00:50:57,559
That's having the same effect
on my ass, too, right. Come here.
898
00:50:57,561 --> 00:51:00,262
Okay, the chiffonade cut, you need
a knife with a long, thin blade...
899
00:51:00,264 --> 00:51:03,199
and a handle that you
can hold like a sword.
900
00:51:03,201 --> 00:51:04,532
Right.
901
00:51:04,534 --> 00:51:06,735
You know, I read that list of things...
902
00:51:06,737 --> 00:51:08,336
that psychopaths are good at.
903
00:51:08,338 --> 00:51:11,340
And cooking is right up there at the top.
904
00:51:11,342 --> 00:51:13,641
I'm almost afraid to ask how good you are.
905
00:51:13,643 --> 00:51:16,244
Guy who taught me's got two
Michelin stars. Let's go.
906
00:51:16,246 --> 00:51:19,414
Oh my god, you're Hannibal Bloody Lecter.
907
00:51:19,416 --> 00:51:20,585
[PRISCILLA] Oh, hi.
908
00:51:23,221 --> 00:51:25,487
I was just on my way up to bed.
909
00:51:25,489 --> 00:51:27,058
Okay.
910
00:51:28,592 --> 00:51:29,961
Yeah... um...
911
00:51:32,563 --> 00:51:36,164
if you see Sam, will you send him up?
912
00:51:36,166 --> 00:51:37,501
Okay.
913
00:51:49,679 --> 00:51:51,613
- Good night.
- Good night.
914
00:51:51,615 --> 00:51:53,251
- Good night.
- Night.
915
00:52:00,057 --> 00:52:03,059
You know, I'm feeling
a little bushed myself.
916
00:52:03,061 --> 00:52:05,360
I think it's the jet lag.
917
00:52:05,362 --> 00:52:06,762
[RORY] Are you sure?
918
00:52:06,764 --> 00:52:08,329
Yeah.
919
00:52:08,331 --> 00:52:11,333
- Really?
- Yeah.
920
00:52:11,335 --> 00:52:12,503
Sleep well.
921
00:52:15,672 --> 00:52:18,175
This is the best wine I've ever had.
922
00:52:20,610 --> 00:52:22,778
Normally it's an okay little winery...
923
00:52:22,780 --> 00:52:26,284
but 2009 knocked it out of the park.
924
00:52:29,653 --> 00:52:32,787
And, it goes deliciously
with these chocolates.
925
00:52:32,789 --> 00:52:34,458
Oh, thank you.
926
00:52:43,733 --> 00:52:44,702
Ah, you're making me dizzy.
927
00:52:51,641 --> 00:52:53,675
Be quiet!
928
00:52:53,677 --> 00:52:56,412
- My dad...
- You be quiet. My dad.
929
00:52:56,414 --> 00:52:57,716
Harold!
930
00:53:31,215 --> 00:53:33,285
I wasn't a very good husband.
931
00:53:35,519 --> 00:53:38,523
Or father, either, for that matter.
932
00:53:39,856 --> 00:53:41,793
Just couldn't say no...
933
00:53:43,427 --> 00:53:45,793
to the work...
934
00:53:45,795 --> 00:53:48,396
to the women...
935
00:53:48,398 --> 00:53:49,768
to life's pleasures.
936
00:53:53,871 --> 00:53:58,742
And marriage puts a stop
to all that, doesn't it?
937
00:53:59,876 --> 00:54:01,645
It does tend to, yes.
938
00:54:04,447 --> 00:54:07,383
"The cradle rocks above an abyss..."
939
00:54:07,385 --> 00:54:11,686
"and common sense tells
us that our existence..."
940
00:54:11,688 --> 00:54:13,923
"is but a brief crack of light..."
941
00:54:13,925 --> 00:54:16,958
"between two eternities of darkness".
942
00:54:16,960 --> 00:54:18,796
Vladamir Nabakov.
943
00:54:24,402 --> 00:54:27,806
Our time in the light is nearly done.
944
00:54:29,974 --> 00:54:32,441
I sometimes wonder...
945
00:54:32,443 --> 00:54:36,545
if we should really be
saying no to anything...
946
00:54:36,547 --> 00:54:40,519
before we face the long night.
947
00:54:44,554 --> 00:54:48,159
So I'm making a collection of face masks.
948
00:54:49,726 --> 00:54:51,459
What do you think?
949
00:54:51,461 --> 00:54:54,597
You've done this professionally, right?
950
00:54:54,599 --> 00:54:58,766
Well, I don't know, like I've
never actually been paid for it.
951
00:54:58,768 --> 00:55:03,405
So, I don't think you could
say that I'm a professional.
952
00:55:03,407 --> 00:55:05,941
But, I've done it like 50 times...
953
00:55:05,943 --> 00:55:08,680
and I've only lost two people.
954
00:55:10,414 --> 00:55:11,546
- Lost?
- Yeah.
955
00:55:11,548 --> 00:55:12,349
Wait a minute.
956
00:55:14,284 --> 00:55:17,688
The breathing part is a bit tricky.
957
00:55:19,956 --> 00:55:22,391
Okay.
958
00:55:22,393 --> 00:55:24,525
Stop.
959
00:55:24,527 --> 00:55:25,696
You're ticklish.
960
00:55:39,976 --> 00:55:41,779
Sorry, kid.
961
00:55:43,780 --> 00:55:45,916
What're you made of, rocks?
962
00:55:48,485 --> 00:55:50,888
All right, I can do this.
963
00:55:57,360 --> 00:55:59,797
Okay. Okay. Okay.
964
00:56:14,844 --> 00:56:16,313
Did you lose something?
965
00:56:20,016 --> 00:56:21,785
Yeah, yeah, actually.
966
00:56:23,887 --> 00:56:27,021
The engagement ring
that you never gave back.
967
00:56:27,023 --> 00:56:28,389
Oh.
968
00:56:28,391 --> 00:56:29,891
Well it's not down there.
969
00:56:29,893 --> 00:56:32,026
- Really?
- No.
970
00:56:32,028 --> 00:56:33,632
Wanna check the other side?
971
00:56:39,869 --> 00:56:41,570
Okay, okay,
wait-wait-wait.
972
00:56:41,572 --> 00:56:44,907
Mackenzie can never,
ever, ever know about this.
973
00:56:44,909 --> 00:56:47,345
- Oh, god. Or Sam.
- Of course, of course.
974
00:56:50,347 --> 00:56:52,046
And Eve.
975
00:56:52,048 --> 00:56:54,652
- Don't tell your mother. Right?
- Oh, God, no. God, no, not...
976
00:56:57,088 --> 00:56:58,987
And you know, Laurence...
you know I love your father.
977
00:56:58,989 --> 00:57:00,789
- I do. I just...
- No-no-no.
978
00:57:00,791 --> 00:57:02,391
God, he's the most fucking
indiscreet person I know.
979
00:57:02,393 --> 00:57:03,592
Okay.
980
00:57:03,594 --> 00:57:04,927
- Oo!
- Oh, god. Oh, god.
981
00:57:04,929 --> 00:57:06,461
Okay, I'm here. Here we go.
982
00:57:06,463 --> 00:57:07,731
Just carry on.
983
00:57:32,088 --> 00:57:34,021
[LAURENCE] What?
984
00:57:34,023 --> 00:57:36,090
I don't know who's worse.
985
00:57:36,092 --> 00:57:38,329
You, for putting this on.
986
00:57:39,764 --> 00:57:42,701
Or you for watching this.
987
00:58:16,699 --> 00:58:19,036
It's hardly a comedy.
988
00:58:24,208 --> 00:58:26,641
(GLASS SMASHING)
989
00:58:26,643 --> 00:58:28,709
My love!
990
00:58:28,711 --> 00:58:30,179
Yes?
991
00:58:30,181 --> 00:58:31,479
My love!
992
00:58:31,481 --> 00:58:33,481
Harold, are you drunk?
993
00:58:33,483 --> 00:58:37,019
I just had the most
smashing bottle of wine...
994
00:58:37,021 --> 00:58:39,954
with your smashing ex-husband...
995
00:58:39,956 --> 00:58:42,758
who I think is smashing, by the way.
996
00:58:42,760 --> 00:58:45,594
Ah, well, I'm glad that's going so well.
997
00:58:45,596 --> 00:58:49,831
It is, but what's not going
well, my dearest, is us.
998
00:58:49,833 --> 00:58:50,965
Oh, yes?
999
00:58:50,967 --> 00:58:56,804
Yeah, I'm pining for you.
1000
00:58:56,806 --> 00:59:02,778
How can you leave me to
languish on this moonlit night...
1001
00:59:02,780 --> 00:59:06,849
alone in my bed, and you alone in yours?
1002
00:59:06,851 --> 00:59:10,052
All right, Mr. Shakespeare, off you go.
1003
00:59:10,054 --> 00:59:12,854
It's bad luck to sleep
together the night before.
1004
00:59:12,856 --> 00:59:16,494
- But I...
- I'll bend the rules so far.
1005
00:59:21,565 --> 00:59:23,101
That's your lot.
1006
00:59:33,110 --> 00:59:35,142
(MUSIC PLAYING)
1007
00:59:35,144 --> 00:59:38,449
I feel a lot of love about the things...
1008
00:59:45,588 --> 00:59:47,755
Love is in the air.
1009
00:59:47,757 --> 00:59:55,162
[JIMMY] In the air. In
the air, love, in the air.
1010
00:59:55,164 --> 00:59:56,634
The last one's up.
1011
01:00:02,239 --> 01:00:03,974
Laurence, my sofa!
1012
01:00:11,782 --> 01:00:14,251
It's just a teensy, weensy bit of spillage.
1013
01:00:16,887 --> 01:00:18,890
I'm gonna get another bottle.
1014
01:00:24,894 --> 01:00:27,965
(MUSIC CONTINUES)
1015
01:00:34,871 --> 01:00:38,005
On the scale of bad ideas...
1016
01:00:38,007 --> 01:00:41,142
where do you think this one is?
1017
01:00:41,144 --> 01:00:45,179
I would say it's somewhere between...
1018
01:00:45,181 --> 01:00:49,753
when I kissed George Michael,
thinking it was you...
1019
01:00:51,722 --> 01:00:55,289
and you remember that time
I surprised you on tour?
1020
01:00:55,291 --> 01:00:57,929
- Oh, yeah, that was bad.
- That was terrible.
1021
01:00:59,829 --> 01:01:01,996
- Listen, I...
- Yeah, I...
1022
01:01:01,998 --> 01:01:03,164
[SAM] Mom!
1023
01:01:03,166 --> 01:01:05,934
Fuck. Hey, will you turn the light out?
1024
01:01:05,936 --> 01:01:07,769
Why?
1025
01:01:07,771 --> 01:01:09,070
Mom!
1026
01:01:09,072 --> 01:01:11,608
Okay, I'm gonna borrow this. Okay.
1027
01:01:16,847 --> 01:01:18,246
What're you doing?
1028
01:01:18,248 --> 01:01:20,182
I was just borrowing
a book. Why are you up?
1029
01:01:20,184 --> 01:01:21,849
I had a nightmare.
1030
01:01:21,851 --> 01:01:24,119
[SAM] You were singing
one of your new songs.
1031
01:01:24,121 --> 01:01:26,320
Yeah, it's pretty sick
having your own blog, like...
1032
01:01:26,322 --> 01:01:28,657
you can just post whatever you want.
1033
01:01:28,659 --> 01:01:30,992
My mom or whoever can't
come on and be like...
1034
01:01:30,994 --> 01:01:32,663
"You can't post that."
1035
01:01:34,097 --> 01:01:36,664
(TEXT NOTIFICATION)
1036
01:01:36,666 --> 01:01:40,101
Oh, whoop. My god, I do
not fuckin' believe that.
1037
01:01:40,103 --> 01:01:41,936
- That is my phone.
- Who's the Boss?
1038
01:01:41,938 --> 01:01:43,405
That's my phone.
1039
01:01:43,407 --> 01:01:45,907
- Give that to me.
- It's the size of a fucking log.
1040
01:01:45,909 --> 01:01:49,144
Saffie, that spanking could
do some serious damage.
1041
01:01:49,146 --> 01:01:51,213
Get the fuck off of me!
1042
01:01:51,215 --> 01:01:53,718
And don't you dare call
me Saffie, you nosey bitch.
1043
01:01:56,653 --> 01:01:58,019
What?
1044
01:01:58,021 --> 01:02:01,224
(MUSIC PLAYING)
1045
01:02:23,681 --> 01:02:25,780
- That star over there.
- What is that?
1046
01:02:25,782 --> 01:02:28,018
I don't know, is it? I'm asking you.
1047
01:02:44,902 --> 01:02:47,938
Now who's the boss, Saffie? Slut!
1048
01:02:49,039 --> 01:02:52,076
(MUSIC CONTINUES)
1049
01:02:57,414 --> 01:03:00,418
(WOMAN MOANING SEXUALLY)
1050
01:03:03,786 --> 01:03:05,088
God!
1051
01:03:22,905 --> 01:03:24,307
[HAROLD] Yes!
1052
01:03:45,094 --> 01:03:48,131
(SOFT MUSIC PLAYING)
1053
01:04:08,952 --> 01:04:11,122
Fuck.
1054
01:04:14,358 --> 01:04:16,260
Fuck.
1055
01:04:21,364 --> 01:04:23,800
(SNORING)
1056
01:04:32,376 --> 01:04:34,309
Aw, fuck!
1057
01:04:34,311 --> 01:04:37,882
Fuck! Fuck!
1058
01:04:39,483 --> 01:04:42,920
(MUFFLED YELLING)
1059
01:04:50,393 --> 01:04:52,796
(GROANS)
1060
01:05:05,608 --> 01:05:08,545
(SOFT MUSIC PLAYING)
1061
01:05:12,014 --> 01:05:14,085
Oh my god.
1062
01:05:18,922 --> 01:05:22,260
The sofa looks like Gorbachev's forehead.
1063
01:05:40,443 --> 01:05:41,945
Oh, god.
1064
01:05:46,916 --> 01:05:48,418
(TEXT NOTIFICATION)
1065
01:05:49,452 --> 01:05:52,489
(INDISTINCT DIALOGUE)
1066
01:06:22,085 --> 01:06:24,286
I'm not gonna marry Harold.
1067
01:06:24,288 --> 01:06:25,954
What? Why?
1068
01:06:25,956 --> 01:06:29,691
[EVE] I've been up all
night, pacing around.
1069
01:06:29,693 --> 01:06:32,961
What was I thinking, getting married again?
1070
01:06:32,963 --> 01:06:35,963
I have my family, the people
that've made the most of me.
1071
01:06:35,965 --> 01:06:38,934
And you know what I realized?
1072
01:06:38,936 --> 01:06:42,537
There is only so much
room in the ol' attic.
1073
01:06:42,539 --> 01:06:45,009
Okay, sorry. You lost me.
1074
01:06:46,108 --> 01:06:47,675
New people.
1075
01:06:47,677 --> 01:06:50,612
All that baggage has to go somewhere.
1076
01:06:50,614 --> 01:06:52,981
To make room, I'd have to
start rearranging everything...
1077
01:06:52,983 --> 01:06:54,352
that's already up here.
1078
01:06:56,987 --> 01:07:00,258
New or different doesn't
necessarily mean better.
1079
01:07:03,994 --> 01:07:05,663
What am I gonna do?
1080
01:07:08,565 --> 01:07:13,601
Well, we've been here before,
having similar conversations...
1081
01:07:13,603 --> 01:07:17,505
normally after the
marriage has taken place.
1082
01:07:17,507 --> 01:07:22,577
So, in a way, I suppose we
could say, we're making progress.
1083
01:07:22,579 --> 01:07:24,045
(KNOCK ON DOOR)
1084
01:07:24,047 --> 01:07:25,483
Come in.
1085
01:07:34,391 --> 01:07:37,427
(SOFT MUSIC PLAYING)
1086
01:07:41,398 --> 01:07:44,264
It's disgusting! It's despicable!
1087
01:07:44,266 --> 01:07:46,501
- It's embarrassing!
- What? What?
1088
01:07:46,503 --> 01:07:50,338
How many other of my
friends have you shagged!
1089
01:07:50,340 --> 01:07:51,773
- Oh, not now...
- Tell me, Dad!
1090
01:07:51,775 --> 01:07:53,208
How many are there?
1091
01:07:53,210 --> 01:07:54,641
- Just tell me!
- What do you take me for?
1092
01:07:54,643 --> 01:07:57,981
What do you mean? A fucking pervert!
1093
01:07:59,016 --> 01:08:01,416
- Where is that...
- Rose.
1094
01:08:01,418 --> 01:08:03,717
Rose! Darling!
1095
01:08:03,719 --> 01:08:05,552
[ROSE] Where are you, bitch?
1096
01:08:05,554 --> 01:08:09,057
[ROSE] You fucking slut! I'm
gonna knock your head off!
1097
01:08:09,059 --> 01:08:12,193
[ROSE] Fucking my dad? What
the fuck is wrong with you?
1098
01:08:12,195 --> 01:08:14,695
(BANGING ON DOOR)
1099
01:08:14,697 --> 01:08:18,133
Wow. This got more hits
than the piano-playing kitty.
1100
01:08:18,135 --> 01:08:21,135
[PINK] (OVER SPEAKER)
What do we have here?
1101
01:08:21,137 --> 01:08:27,107
Looks like Harold... no,
"The Boss" and Saffie.
1102
01:08:27,109 --> 01:08:29,477
If I ever see her again,
I'm gonna kill her.
1103
01:08:29,479 --> 01:08:31,211
Although it is lucky that
she happened to be outside...
1104
01:08:31,213 --> 01:08:33,080
with her phone.
1105
01:08:33,082 --> 01:08:34,348
Pink's a blogger, Dad.
'Course she had her phone.
1106
01:08:34,350 --> 01:08:36,418
Oh my god...
1107
01:08:36,420 --> 01:08:38,218
[PINK] (OVER SPEAKER) I can't
believe I'm getting this...
1108
01:08:38,220 --> 01:08:43,126
on camera right now. Oh,
yeah. "The Boss" is Harold.
1109
01:08:48,532 --> 01:08:50,365
Nice. That's awesome, Sam.
1110
01:08:50,367 --> 01:08:51,635
Good job, Sammy.
1111
01:08:57,239 --> 01:08:59,641
You knew, didn't you?
1112
01:08:59,643 --> 01:09:03,777
I wanted to come to see you, but I was...
1113
01:09:03,779 --> 01:09:07,648
wondering if maybe by
now you had developed...
1114
01:09:07,650 --> 01:09:11,318
a spirit of wry realism...
1115
01:09:11,320 --> 01:09:14,321
with regards to "happily ever after."
1116
01:09:14,323 --> 01:09:16,124
"Wry realism"?
1117
01:09:16,126 --> 01:09:20,227
Yes, well, maybe you were
finally ready to live with...
1118
01:09:20,229 --> 01:09:22,263
bumpily ever after.
1119
01:09:22,265 --> 01:09:24,866
Bumpily ever after?
1120
01:09:24,868 --> 01:09:26,800
You think I'm making a mistake?
1121
01:09:26,802 --> 01:09:28,736
With Harold? No.
1122
01:09:28,738 --> 01:09:31,339
Harold's fine. I personally
have nothing against him.
1123
01:09:31,341 --> 01:09:34,476
But you deserve way, way better.
1124
01:09:34,478 --> 01:09:38,278
You deserve to be loved...
1125
01:09:38,280 --> 01:09:40,615
because you've always
been there to give love.
1126
01:09:40,617 --> 01:09:42,217
You deserve to be honored...
1127
01:09:42,219 --> 01:09:45,452
because you carried this family...
1128
01:09:45,454 --> 01:09:48,589
single-handedly on your shoulders.
1129
01:09:48,591 --> 01:09:52,626
And now it's your turn to take a ride.
1130
01:09:52,628 --> 01:09:56,664
My love, you spent the entire
night pacing back and forth...
1131
01:09:56,666 --> 01:09:59,666
in your jammies, and you
still look so damn cute.
1132
01:09:59,668 --> 01:10:03,303
And that deserves to be cherished.
1133
01:10:03,305 --> 01:10:05,241
And maybe it was no...
1134
01:10:07,777 --> 01:10:12,349
accident that Harold messed up last night.
1135
01:10:20,590 --> 01:10:23,594
(SOFT MUSIC CONTINUES)
1136
01:10:40,676 --> 01:10:42,612
Oh, Dad.
1137
01:10:44,480 --> 01:10:47,714
You've embarrassed us.
1138
01:10:47,716 --> 01:10:49,349
What you did...
1139
01:10:49,351 --> 01:10:53,823
it was just creepy in so many ways.
1140
01:10:55,524 --> 01:10:58,559
- You watched her grow up.
- I know.
1141
01:10:58,561 --> 01:11:00,928
She was Rose's best friend, for God's sake!
1142
01:11:00,930 --> 01:11:05,232
I know. I never meant... it was...
1143
01:11:05,234 --> 01:11:07,568
I want... I just...
1144
01:11:07,570 --> 01:11:09,771
I packed up all my books.
1145
01:11:09,773 --> 01:11:14,375
I really wanted this to work.
1146
01:11:14,377 --> 01:11:17,448
Such a fucking idiot.
1147
01:11:18,681 --> 01:11:20,815
Yeah, you are.
1148
01:11:20,817 --> 01:11:24,451
I thought it was romantic.
1149
01:11:24,453 --> 01:11:26,553
I thought you'd finally found someone...
1150
01:11:26,555 --> 01:11:29,891
to spend the rest of your life with.
1151
01:11:29,893 --> 01:11:31,726
That you weren't gonna be alone.
1152
01:11:31,728 --> 01:11:33,660
I wasn't gonna have to worry about you...
1153
01:11:33,662 --> 01:11:35,396
living on cold pizza anymore.
1154
01:11:35,398 --> 01:11:38,402
Oh, darling, that was not our relationship.
1155
01:11:41,770 --> 01:11:44,440
I thought you'd changed.
1156
01:11:45,641 --> 01:11:47,278
I'm so, so sorry.
1157
01:11:49,613 --> 01:11:52,283
- Come on...
- What am I gonna do?
1158
01:12:02,425 --> 01:12:05,460
Well, first of all...
1159
01:12:05,462 --> 01:12:08,499
I'm not the one you
should be apologizing to.
1160
01:12:10,033 --> 01:12:13,268
And then, we'll all go back to London...
1161
01:12:13,270 --> 01:12:16,771
and to the shame of you having
been caught having sex...
1162
01:12:16,773 --> 01:12:21,576
with a woman nearly 40 years your junior.
1163
01:12:21,578 --> 01:12:24,044
And then you'll have to move to Italy...
1164
01:12:24,046 --> 01:12:26,951
where they don't have a
problem with that sort of thing.
1165
01:12:29,351 --> 01:12:32,422
(JAZZ MUSIC PLAYING)
1166
01:12:40,462 --> 01:12:45,402
♪ What is this
thing called love ♪
1167
01:12:47,904 --> 01:12:52,843
♪ This funny thing called love ♪
1168
01:12:55,345 --> 01:13:00,284
♪ Just who can
solve its mystery ♪
1169
01:13:02,484 --> 01:13:07,423
♪ Why should it
make a fool of me ♪
1170
01:13:09,826 --> 01:13:14,765
♪ I saw you there
one wonderful day ♪
1171
01:13:17,399 --> 01:13:22,305
♪ You took my heart
and threw it away ♪
1172
01:13:23,640 --> 01:13:27,508
♪ That's why I ask the Lord ♪
1173
01:13:27,510 --> 01:13:31,845
♪ In heaven above ♪
1174
01:13:31,847 --> 01:13:36,787
♪ What is this
thing called love ♪
1175
01:13:41,123 --> 01:13:42,893
(DOOR OPENS)
1176
01:13:45,962 --> 01:13:47,398
(MUSIC CLICKS OFF)
1177
01:13:49,466 --> 01:13:54,402
I gather you've heard, I've
gone and ballsed this up.
1178
01:13:54,404 --> 01:13:56,003
My cue to exit.
1179
01:13:56,005 --> 01:13:59,542
No... you may as well stay.
1180
01:14:02,979 --> 01:14:07,048
Eve, I really wanted to be that man.
1181
01:14:07,050 --> 01:14:11,119
The best man, you know, for you!
1182
01:14:11,121 --> 01:14:15,522
You were so utterly...
1183
01:14:15,524 --> 01:14:19,861
fucking fabulous and gorgeous
and smart and charming.
1184
01:14:19,863 --> 01:14:23,164
And I thought I could change.
1185
01:14:23,166 --> 01:14:27,402
But it's just not me.
1186
01:14:27,404 --> 01:14:31,037
I'm so sorry that I have
caused you this humiliation.
1187
01:14:31,039 --> 01:14:35,479
I just wish I could have
it all directed at me.
1188
01:14:39,815 --> 01:14:41,684
Harold.
1189
01:14:43,685 --> 01:14:47,854
You might want to think about growing up.
1190
01:14:47,856 --> 01:14:51,759
Chasing 25-year-olds
at your age...
1191
01:14:51,761 --> 01:14:54,629
it looks very sad.
1192
01:14:54,631 --> 01:14:56,763
I look like a swine.
1193
01:14:56,765 --> 01:15:00,768
Way more sad than that.
1194
01:15:00,770 --> 01:15:03,905
I am so fucked!
1195
01:15:03,907 --> 01:15:06,973
Harold, before you start
flagellating yourself...
1196
01:15:06,975 --> 01:15:09,910
like a monk, may I say something?
1197
01:15:09,912 --> 01:15:14,147
Eve is a fabulous woman.
She's a major catch.
1198
01:15:14,149 --> 01:15:17,518
And I'd say that sadly, from experience...
1199
01:15:17,520 --> 01:15:20,120
you're the one who lost out here.
1200
01:15:20,122 --> 01:15:22,924
And, if it makes you feel any better...
1201
01:15:22,926 --> 01:15:26,160
the reason I'm here in
her bedroom is because...
1202
01:15:26,162 --> 01:15:29,629
she wanted to tell me
that she wasn't going...
1203
01:15:29,631 --> 01:15:33,800
through with the marriage,
and this was before...
1204
01:15:33,802 --> 01:15:37,571
you broke the internet with your...
1205
01:15:37,573 --> 01:15:41,444
Legends of the AARP vine.
1206
01:15:42,679 --> 01:15:45,815
(SOFT MUSIC PLAYING)
1207
01:16:04,234 --> 01:16:06,233
[RORY] Hey.
1208
01:16:06,235 --> 01:16:08,134
I'm so sorry.
1209
01:16:08,136 --> 01:16:09,870
You know what?
1210
01:16:09,872 --> 01:16:12,742
When it comes to apologizing
for parents who behave badly...
1211
01:16:14,176 --> 01:16:16,746
we are a family of world champs.
1212
01:16:20,015 --> 01:16:21,751
- Thank you.
- Sure.
1213
01:16:23,853 --> 01:16:27,854
I did not expect this
weekend to pan out like this.
1214
01:16:27,856 --> 01:16:29,891
No.
1215
01:16:29,893 --> 01:16:32,692
How is everybody?
1216
01:16:32,694 --> 01:16:35,530
Rose and Saffron aren't speaking.
1217
01:16:35,532 --> 01:16:37,865
I don't think they ever will again.
1218
01:16:37,867 --> 01:16:39,534
That bad, huh?
1219
01:16:39,536 --> 01:16:41,968
Well, not until they both coincidentally...
1220
01:16:41,970 --> 01:16:44,774
have teenage children
in rehab in Minnesota.
1221
01:16:47,109 --> 01:16:48,778
How 'bout you?
1222
01:16:50,179 --> 01:16:53,680
I think I'm done trying
to worry everyone...
1223
01:16:53,682 --> 01:16:55,750
into making the right decision.
1224
01:16:55,752 --> 01:16:58,018
They always make the
same stupid decision...
1225
01:16:58,020 --> 01:17:00,220
they were going to anyway.
1226
01:17:00,222 --> 01:17:02,893
I think it's my turn to make
a stupid decision, actually.
1227
01:17:13,136 --> 01:17:14,968
I'm sorry, that was
really stupid, wasn't it...
1228
01:17:14,970 --> 01:17:16,706
No, no, no, no.
1229
01:17:19,309 --> 01:17:21,244
I can be way more stupid than that.
1230
01:17:36,359 --> 01:17:38,729
So how did you see this
weekend panning out?
1231
01:17:39,929 --> 01:17:43,132
Well, kinda like this.
1232
01:17:45,335 --> 01:17:46,869
And what gave you that impression?
1233
01:17:49,072 --> 01:17:51,275
How we chop mint.
1234
01:17:52,942 --> 01:17:54,845
We've got the same taste in music.
1235
01:17:56,279 --> 01:17:58,345
That is important.
1236
01:17:58,347 --> 01:18:00,680
Yes, it is.
1237
01:18:00,682 --> 01:18:02,950
And...
1238
01:18:02,952 --> 01:18:07,287
you got a whole lotta new
material for your next novel.
1239
01:18:07,289 --> 01:18:08,992
Oh yeah, masses.
1240
01:18:10,893 --> 01:18:12,328
You know what I think?
1241
01:18:13,930 --> 01:18:15,865
I think you should stay in New York...
1242
01:18:17,699 --> 01:18:20,871
and do a little research on
some of the American characters.
1243
01:18:24,373 --> 01:18:26,007
Well, I can think of one.
1244
01:18:26,009 --> 01:18:27,808
Okay.
1245
01:18:27,810 --> 01:18:32,045
But, I'm a little worried
that he wants to eat me...
1246
01:18:32,047 --> 01:18:35,318
with some fava beans and nice Chianti.
1247
01:18:36,853 --> 01:18:39,352
Look, I think I oughtta tell you something.
1248
01:18:39,354 --> 01:18:42,658
(MUSIC CONTINUES)
1249
01:18:46,962 --> 01:18:49,996
You don't have to say
goodbye. Just jump in the car.
1250
01:18:49,998 --> 01:18:51,132
It's great to see you.
1251
01:18:51,134 --> 01:18:52,202
- Thank you so much.
- Bye.
1252
01:18:53,903 --> 01:18:55,905
Bye. Bye.
1253
01:19:11,688 --> 01:19:15,255
I have a lot of answering
to do, to all of you...
1254
01:19:15,257 --> 01:19:17,391
and I will.
1255
01:19:17,393 --> 01:19:20,760
But for now, I want you to know...
1256
01:19:20,762 --> 01:19:23,397
that I'm so sorry for
having let you all down.
1257
01:19:23,399 --> 01:19:27,802
But, I promise you, we
will get over this...
1258
01:19:27,804 --> 01:19:29,836
and we will move forward, together.
1259
01:19:29,838 --> 01:19:32,072
Yeah. Right, Dad.
1260
01:19:32,074 --> 01:19:33,874
I'm stopping off in New York.
1261
01:19:33,876 --> 01:19:35,175
What?
1262
01:19:35,177 --> 01:19:37,911
Probably gonna stay for a few months.
1263
01:19:37,913 --> 01:19:39,446
You two are on your own.
1264
01:19:39,448 --> 01:19:40,781
No, Clemmie.
1265
01:19:40,783 --> 01:19:44,054
You'll be fine. You'll be fine.
1266
01:19:48,291 --> 01:19:50,424
Mom...
1267
01:19:50,426 --> 01:19:54,061
if you sleep with your friend,
does it ruin the friendship?
1268
01:19:54,063 --> 01:19:57,330
- Oh, well, it never did for me.
- Really?
1269
01:19:57,332 --> 01:19:59,500
Yeah, but, I can count my
real friends on one hand.
1270
01:19:59,502 --> 01:20:02,870
I mean, actually I
don't even need one hand.
1271
01:20:02,872 --> 01:20:07,074
You know, the important part is...
1272
01:20:07,076 --> 01:20:10,477
not working on staying friends afterwards.
1273
01:20:10,479 --> 01:20:13,947
That's what ruins it.
1274
01:20:13,949 --> 01:20:16,217
But you don't have to worry
about that, 'cause you know...
1275
01:20:16,219 --> 01:20:18,018
you're gonna have kids
with like 15 fingers.
1276
01:20:18,020 --> 01:20:19,219
- You're gonna have way bigger...
- Oh, my god.
1277
01:20:19,221 --> 01:20:20,854
things to worry about.
1278
01:20:20,856 --> 01:20:22,223
- Giant gloves.
- That's not...
1279
01:20:22,225 --> 01:20:24,290
- Maybe mittens.
- That's not even funny.
1280
01:20:24,292 --> 01:20:25,327
That's better, right?
1281
01:20:27,395 --> 01:20:28,862
All right.
1282
01:20:28,864 --> 01:20:30,964
I'm a good mommy.
1283
01:20:30,966 --> 01:20:32,500
- Yeah.
- I gotta go.
1284
01:20:32,502 --> 01:20:36,306
- Why?
- I gotta go call Sam's dad.
1285
01:20:37,405 --> 01:20:38,973
Okay.
1286
01:20:38,975 --> 01:20:42,179
(SOFT MUSIC PLAYING)
1287
01:20:46,082 --> 01:20:48,719
Oh, god, I'm gonna have to say something.
1288
01:21:06,002 --> 01:21:07,871
I'll do it.
1289
01:21:16,011 --> 01:21:18,312
(INDISTINCT CHATTER)
1290
01:21:18,314 --> 01:21:21,284
(MUSIC CONTINUES)
1291
01:21:33,996 --> 01:21:38,499
Hello, everyone. I have
an announcement to make.
1292
01:21:38,501 --> 01:21:43,204
After much deliberation
and mature reflection...
1293
01:21:43,206 --> 01:21:45,039
by the parties in question...
1294
01:21:45,041 --> 01:21:48,241
it has been mutually decided...
1295
01:21:48,243 --> 01:21:51,111
that the advertised wedding...
1296
01:21:51,113 --> 01:21:53,214
will not be going forward.
1297
01:21:53,216 --> 01:21:57,985
Now, I know that's a
disappointment to everyone...
1298
01:21:57,987 --> 01:22:01,021
but, look at it this way...
1299
01:22:01,023 --> 01:22:06,363
at least we won't have to
have pasta afta the ballet.
1300
01:22:08,264 --> 01:22:10,467
Too soon. Very well.
1301
01:22:12,100 --> 01:22:13,302
Boys.
1302
01:22:15,904 --> 01:22:20,206
Boys, if you would, a clever
and imaginative toast, please?
1303
01:22:20,208 --> 01:22:21,942
To calling it off?
1304
01:22:21,944 --> 01:22:26,914
Well done. To Eve and
Harold for calling it off.
1305
01:22:26,916 --> 01:22:28,249
Cheers.
1306
01:22:28,251 --> 01:22:30,183
To Eve and Harold for calling it off.
1307
01:22:30,185 --> 01:22:34,220
However, Judge McCaffery is
here. Everything is set up.
1308
01:22:34,222 --> 01:22:37,357
Why not take advantage?
1309
01:22:37,359 --> 01:22:40,960
So would anyone like to get married today?
1310
01:22:40,962 --> 01:22:43,097
Anybody at all? It's all on us.
1311
01:22:43,099 --> 01:22:47,601
Actually, it's on Eve,
because I'm incredibly cheap.
1312
01:22:47,603 --> 01:22:49,338
Anybody?
1313
01:22:51,439 --> 01:22:55,976
No, okay. Well, I have a suggestion.
1314
01:22:55,978 --> 01:22:58,312
Eve?
1315
01:22:58,314 --> 01:23:01,318
Eve, show yourself!
1316
01:23:05,087 --> 01:23:08,191
(GUESTS CLAPPING)
1317
01:23:14,963 --> 01:23:19,633
My dear, before another marriage
ends in divorce or death...
1318
01:23:19,635 --> 01:23:24,103
why don't we just cut to
the chase and tie the knot?
1319
01:23:24,105 --> 01:23:25,272
(ALL GASPING)
1320
01:23:25,274 --> 01:23:27,007
What?
1321
01:23:27,009 --> 01:23:29,677
I mean, if there is somebody
else you'd like to marry...
1322
01:23:29,679 --> 01:23:33,483
first, before you remarry
me, that's... that's fine.
1323
01:23:35,016 --> 01:23:36,517
Boys, what do you think?
1324
01:23:36,519 --> 01:23:37,617
You're on your own here, Dad.
1325
01:23:37,619 --> 01:23:39,419
Oh I definitely wanna hear this.
1326
01:23:39,421 --> 01:23:43,123
Mom, it's Dad, so, a prenup is a must.
1327
01:23:43,125 --> 01:23:45,662
Thanks, kids, you're out of the will.
1328
01:23:50,632 --> 01:23:54,968
Eve, I've done some
stupid things in my life.
1329
01:23:54,970 --> 01:23:59,308
But that was actually
the younger, dumber me.
1330
01:24:01,409 --> 01:24:04,978
I remember him well.
1331
01:24:04,980 --> 01:24:08,081
I constantly hear people say...
1332
01:24:08,083 --> 01:24:13,286
they're looking for the person
they wanna grow old with.
1333
01:24:13,288 --> 01:24:17,724
But we're here, now... living it right now.
1334
01:24:17,726 --> 01:24:20,995
I wanna grow old with you.
1335
01:24:20,997 --> 01:24:24,565
I wanna spend the rest of my life with you.
1336
01:24:24,567 --> 01:24:27,567
Will you be my wife?
1337
01:24:27,569 --> 01:24:29,639
Will you marry me?
1338
01:24:32,073 --> 01:24:35,675
Again?
1339
01:24:35,677 --> 01:24:38,547
(SOFT MUSIC PLAYING)
1340
01:24:49,324 --> 01:24:51,458
Yes.
1341
01:24:51,460 --> 01:24:54,297
(MUSIC CHANGES)
1342
01:25:05,306 --> 01:25:06,675
Come on down here.
1343
01:25:08,444 --> 01:25:10,046
I do.
1344
01:25:13,649 --> 01:25:16,586
Then I pronounce you man and wife.
1345
01:25:21,056 --> 01:25:23,557
(GUESTS CLAPPING, CHEERING)
1346
01:25:23,559 --> 01:25:26,596
(MUSIC CONTINUES)
1347
01:25:43,311 --> 01:25:46,213
All-in-all, I would have to
say, it was one of Eve's...
1348
01:25:46,215 --> 01:25:49,715
more entertaining
family get-togethers.
1349
01:25:49,717 --> 01:25:53,253
Laughter, tears, love, and sex.
1350
01:25:53,255 --> 01:25:55,455
Who could quibble?
1351
01:25:55,457 --> 01:25:57,723
Do you know where
your grandmother is?
1352
01:25:57,725 --> 01:26:00,326
Sorry, one second, I'll be right back...
1353
01:26:00,328 --> 01:26:02,562
I just wanted to show her something.
1354
01:26:02,564 --> 01:26:05,365
And, could you cut
the "grandmother" bit?
1355
01:26:05,367 --> 01:26:06,735
Otherwise, it's...
1356
01:26:13,576 --> 01:26:15,209
Actors.
1357
01:26:15,211 --> 01:26:18,213
(MUSIC PLAYING)
1358
01:26:32,494 --> 01:26:36,196
♪ I bought a toothbrush
some toothpaste ♪
1359
01:26:36,198 --> 01:26:38,565
♪ A flannel for my face ♪
1360
01:26:38,567 --> 01:26:43,504
♪ Pajamas a hairbrush
New shoes and a case ♪
1361
01:26:43,506 --> 01:26:49,479
♪ I said to my reflection
Let's get out of this place ♪
1362
01:26:51,546 --> 01:26:54,548
♪ Past the church and the steeple ♪
1363
01:26:54,550 --> 01:26:57,151
♪ The laundry on the hill ♪
1364
01:26:57,153 --> 01:26:59,686
♪ The billboards and the buildings ♪
1365
01:26:59,688 --> 01:27:02,421
♪ Memories of it still ♪
1366
01:27:02,423 --> 01:27:07,460
♪ Keep calling and calling ♪
1367
01:27:07,462 --> 01:27:11,701
♪ But forget it all I know I will ♪
1368
01:27:13,536 --> 01:27:17,340
♪ Tempted by the fruit of another ♪
1369
01:27:18,740 --> 01:27:23,210
♪ Tempted but the truth is discovered ♪
1370
01:27:23,212 --> 01:27:28,447
♪ What's been going on
Now that you have gone ♪
1371
01:27:28,449 --> 01:27:31,585
♪ There's no other ♪
1372
01:27:31,587 --> 01:27:35,358
♪ Tempted by the fruit of another ♪
1373
01:27:37,626 --> 01:27:41,730
♪ Tempted but the truth is discovered ♪
1374
01:27:43,865 --> 01:27:45,766
[MACKENZIE] (VO) Look at them.
1375
01:27:45,768 --> 01:27:47,601
Standing around the piano
like they're singing...
1376
01:27:47,603 --> 01:27:49,736
The Circle of Life...
1377
01:27:49,738 --> 01:27:52,738
when they're actually singing
a song about cheating.
1378
01:27:52,740 --> 01:27:54,708
See, I told you.
1379
01:27:54,710 --> 01:28:00,647
When it comes to my family,
love is just one big mystery.
1380
01:28:00,649 --> 01:28:06,320
♪ Now that you have
gone There's no other ♪
1381
01:28:06,322 --> 01:28:10,490
♪ Tempted by the fruit of another ♪
1382
01:28:10,492 --> 01:28:15,664
♪ Tempted but the
truth is discovered ♪
1383
01:28:19,001 --> 01:28:23,206
♪ Well I was tempted by
the fruit of another ♪
1384
01:28:25,306 --> 01:28:28,510
♪ Tempted but the
truth is discovered ♪
1385
01:28:30,345 --> 01:28:33,482
♪ Tempted by the
fruit of another ♪
1386
01:28:35,317 --> 01:28:40,254
♪ Tempted but the
truth is discovered ♪
1387
01:28:40,256 --> 01:28:43,326
♪ Tempted by the
fruit of another ♪
1388
01:28:45,527 --> 01:28:48,961
♪ Tempted but the
truth is discovered ♪
1389
01:28:48,963 --> 01:28:52,668
♪ Now what's been going on ♪
1390
01:29:03,045 --> 01:29:06,382
(SOFT MUSIC PLAYING)
1391
01:29:08,283 --> 01:29:10,252
Wait for it.
1392
01:29:12,854 --> 01:29:14,590
[LAURENCE] Wait.
1393
01:29:15,923 --> 01:29:17,694
[LAURENCE] Going.
1394
01:29:19,328 --> 01:29:20,830
Going.
1395
01:29:23,564 --> 01:29:25,268
Gone.
1396
01:29:33,542 --> 01:29:36,312
Almost dark.
1397
01:29:47,323 --> 01:29:48,421
There.
1398
01:29:48,423 --> 01:29:51,661
(MUSIC FADES UP)
1399
01:29:51,802 --> 01:29:56,802
Subtitles by explosiveskull
1400
01:30:14,615 --> 01:30:17,586
(MUSIC CHANGES)
1401
01:32:03,024 --> 01:32:06,027
(MUSIC CHANGES)
1402
01:32:26,047 --> 01:32:30,584
♪ We we are the
ones who love you ♪
1403
01:32:30,586 --> 01:32:33,486
♪ We are the ones who hurt you ♪
1404
01:32:33,488 --> 01:32:37,656
♪ We are the ones who heal you ♪
1405
01:32:37,658 --> 01:32:41,928
♪ I want to see
into the shadows ♪
1406
01:32:41,930 --> 01:32:44,697
♪ I can take a bit of madness ♪
1407
01:32:44,699 --> 01:32:46,735
♪ It's lucky 'cause
we've seen a lot ♪
1408
01:32:49,738 --> 01:32:52,742
♪ And I never said that
this was organized ♪
1409
01:32:55,243 --> 01:32:58,514
♪ And I never said
that we'd be fine ♪
1410
01:33:01,015 --> 01:33:04,820
♪ But I know I loved you
throughout all these years ♪
1411
01:33:06,889 --> 01:33:09,826
♪ With you this
chaos seems to bind ♪
1412
01:33:11,926 --> 01:33:16,228
♪ So let's hear it
for the mothers ♪
1413
01:33:16,230 --> 01:33:21,069
♪ Sisters dads and brothers
We're all in the same ol mess ♪
1414
01:33:23,305 --> 01:33:27,072
♪ I don't want to
see into the future ♪
1415
01:33:27,074 --> 01:33:30,009
♪ Because I'm okay
if I can reach you ♪
1416
01:33:30,011 --> 01:33:32,247
♪ And I'll take that
above all else ♪
1417
01:33:35,250 --> 01:33:38,554
♪ And I never said that
this was organized ♪
1418
01:33:41,122 --> 01:33:43,558
♪ I never said
that we'd be fine ♪
1419
01:33:46,828 --> 01:33:50,566
♪ But I know I've loved you
throughout all these years ♪
1420
01:33:52,600 --> 01:33:55,505
♪ With you this
chaos seems to bind ♪
1421
01:33:58,206 --> 01:34:01,511
♪ I never said that
this was organized ♪
1422
01:34:03,979 --> 01:34:06,782
♪ I never said
that we'd be fine ♪
1423
01:34:09,717 --> 01:34:12,755
♪ But I know I loved you
throughout all these years ♪
1424
01:34:15,591 --> 01:34:18,694
♪ With you this
chaos seems to bind ♪
1425
01:34:55,262 --> 01:34:59,135
♪ I never said that
this was organized ♪
1426
01:35:01,069 --> 01:35:04,073
♪ I never said
that we'd be fine ♪
1427
01:35:06,908 --> 01:35:10,079
♪ But I know I loved you
throughout all these years ♪
1428
01:35:12,413 --> 01:35:15,951
♪ With you this
chaos seems to bind ♪
105244
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