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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,880 --> 00:00:03,140 Where was the artifact found? 2 00:00:03,148 --> 00:00:04,478 La Brea Tar Pits. 3 00:00:04,476 --> 00:00:05,676 A volunteer at the paleontology department 4 00:00:05,674 --> 00:00:07,404 uncovered it by accident. 5 00:00:07,411 --> 00:00:09,611 From the description of it, sounds like the Osiris Stone, 6 00:00:09,608 --> 00:00:11,538 which has the power to reanimate. 7 00:00:11,534 --> 00:00:13,474 Which explains all the saber-toothed tigers 8 00:00:13,471 --> 00:00:14,801 running through the streets of Los Angeles. 9 00:00:14,799 --> 00:00:15,939 Jenkins, we need a door! 10 00:00:15,937 --> 00:00:18,267 I grabbed some spears from the weapons room. 11 00:00:18,264 --> 00:00:20,664 I found some nets. Gosh, I hope they're big enough for saber-toothed tigers. 12 00:00:20,670 --> 00:00:22,670 Make that woolly mammoths. Someone just Instagrammed 13 00:00:22,667 --> 00:00:24,267 one of them crashing into a tour bus. 14 00:00:24,264 --> 00:00:25,664 We're gonna need bigger nets. 15 00:00:25,662 --> 00:00:27,062 - Jenkins? - Coming! 16 00:00:27,059 --> 00:00:29,059 Jenkins, there you are. 17 00:00:29,056 --> 00:00:30,796 We need a door to the La Brea Tar Pits, buddy, now. 18 00:00:30,793 --> 00:00:32,763 Yeah, sure. One door coming up. 19 00:00:36,594 --> 00:00:38,194 Good luck, Librarians. 20 00:00:56,911 --> 00:00:58,541 Hmm. 21 00:01:12,636 --> 00:01:14,736 I don't think this is right. 22 00:01:18,227 --> 00:01:19,597 Hello. 23 00:01:20,493 --> 00:01:21,763 Anyone here? 24 00:01:34,022 --> 00:01:35,992 Jeff Peppers. 25 00:01:56,276 --> 00:01:57,476 Oh, my... 26 00:01:58,273 --> 00:02:00,743 Oh, my dear God. 27 00:02:00,739 --> 00:02:01,539 Jeff! 28 00:02:02,606 --> 00:02:04,006 What are you doing, Brad Pitt, 29 00:02:04,003 --> 00:02:05,203 staring at yourself? 30 00:02:05,201 --> 00:02:06,601 No, madame, um, you... 31 00:02:06,599 --> 00:02:08,269 You overslept again, Jeff. 32 00:02:08,266 --> 00:02:09,266 You gotta feed the babies. 33 00:02:09,265 --> 00:02:10,935 I'm not him. He's not me. 34 00:02:10,932 --> 00:02:13,202 And, after you're done, I've got a list of chores. 35 00:02:13,199 --> 00:02:15,999 I need you to fix that dish. It's acting screwy. 36 00:02:15,994 --> 00:02:17,734 I thought we could watch a "Wheel Of Fortune" later. 37 00:02:17,731 --> 00:02:19,591 Wait, madame, I beseech you to listen to me. 38 00:02:19,598 --> 00:02:20,928 Something horrible has happened... 39 00:02:20,926 --> 00:02:22,796 Well, something horrible is about to happen 40 00:02:22,793 --> 00:02:25,063 if you don't get up those stairs and feed the babies. 41 00:02:25,059 --> 00:02:26,719 I will do no such thing... 42 00:02:26,727 --> 00:02:28,587 Feed the babies! Feed the babies! 43 00:02:28,584 --> 00:02:30,584 - I will not feed your bab... - Get up there. 44 00:02:30,591 --> 00:02:32,051 You know what your responsibility is. 45 00:02:32,058 --> 00:02:34,058 - Listen... I know... I can't... - Get in there. 46 00:02:34,055 --> 00:02:37,055 All right, don't forget to clean all the litter boxes and refill their bowls. 47 00:02:37,050 --> 00:02:41,520 The eyedropper for poor little Tessie's pinkeye is on the counter. 48 00:02:41,513 --> 00:02:45,253 Otto's got ringworm again, so don't forget to give him those suppositories. 49 00:02:46,645 --> 00:02:48,315 What are you waiting for? 50 00:02:48,312 --> 00:02:49,572 I... 51 00:02:50,708 --> 00:02:51,678 Uh... 52 00:02:54,572 --> 00:02:57,372 Soap, soap, soap! 53 00:02:57,367 --> 00:02:58,567 You want some breakfast? 54 00:02:58,565 --> 00:03:00,165 No, I've gotta get to the library. 55 00:03:00,173 --> 00:03:01,903 Library? 56 00:03:01,900 --> 00:03:04,040 - But you hate reading, - Is that his car? 57 00:03:04,037 --> 00:03:06,397 Jeff, what about my "Wheel"? You promised you'd fix the dish. 58 00:03:12,493 --> 00:03:15,563 Oh, God, what is that smell? 59 00:03:17,894 --> 00:03:20,094 Just... come on! 60 00:03:20,091 --> 00:03:21,061 Damn it. 61 00:03:25,352 --> 00:03:28,292 Yo, dude! Jeff! Let's get a move on. 62 00:03:28,288 --> 00:03:29,888 - Jeff! - Jeff! 63 00:03:29,885 --> 00:03:30,955 I am not... 64 00:03:30,953 --> 00:03:32,883 Never mind, just pl... go. Go away, please. 65 00:03:32,880 --> 00:03:34,480 Hop in. We're gonna be late for work. 66 00:03:34,478 --> 00:03:35,478 I'm not going to your work. 67 00:03:35,486 --> 00:03:37,746 Ooh, playing hooky. 68 00:03:37,742 --> 00:03:39,682 You gonna get in so much trouble. 69 00:03:39,679 --> 00:03:41,009 - Just call in sick. - It's what I do. 70 00:03:41,007 --> 00:03:43,207 Who's gonna know? 71 00:03:43,214 --> 00:03:45,144 Well, technically, I'm the assistant manager, so I'm supposed to report it. 72 00:03:45,140 --> 00:03:46,740 Dennis, please, I was talking. 73 00:03:46,738 --> 00:03:49,708 - Where you need to go, Jeff? - Yeah, we'll drive you. 74 00:03:53,337 --> 00:03:55,607 Yes, fine. Take me to St. John's Bridge. 75 00:03:55,604 --> 00:03:57,474 St. John's. - Why, thinking of jumping off? 76 00:03:57,471 --> 00:04:01,401 Not a bad idea right now. 77 00:04:01,404 --> 00:04:03,034 Want a Ring Pop? 78 00:04:05,328 --> 00:04:07,328 Oh, my God. Oh, my God. 79 00:04:07,325 --> 00:04:11,795 Stop! Stop! Let me out of here. 80 00:04:11,798 --> 00:04:13,598 Okay, well, we still on for later? 81 00:04:13,595 --> 00:04:15,595 - No. - Cool. See you then. 82 00:04:15,591 --> 00:04:17,191 - Bye, Jeff. - Feel better. 83 00:04:17,189 --> 00:04:19,989 He's not sick, Dennis! God! 84 00:04:19,984 --> 00:04:21,284 Pump it! 85 00:04:26,454 --> 00:04:31,054 You, sir, are one sexy stud muffin. 86 00:04:34,181 --> 00:04:36,311 Oh, wow. 87 00:04:40,312 --> 00:04:42,442 Mm, thank you, book. 88 00:04:42,438 --> 00:04:43,978 Thank you. 89 00:04:54,968 --> 00:04:56,168 Oh, hey! All right. 90 00:04:56,166 --> 00:04:58,566 The Librarians. How was your adventure? 91 00:04:58,562 --> 00:05:00,292 Good. Went really well. No thanks to you! 92 00:05:00,299 --> 00:05:01,829 You set the door to a port-o-potty 93 00:05:01,827 --> 00:05:03,897 two feet from the Tar Pits. We fell right in. 94 00:05:03,894 --> 00:05:05,424 Uh, this stuff is really like sand. 95 00:05:05,431 --> 00:05:07,291 It gets everywhere, and I mean everywhere! 96 00:05:07,288 --> 00:05:10,088 What's going on with you, Jenkins? You never make mistakes like that. 97 00:05:10,094 --> 00:05:11,954 Must've just had a senior moment. 98 00:05:11,961 --> 00:05:14,391 But, hey, at least the mission went well, right? 99 00:05:17,222 --> 00:05:19,482 Uh, is that the artifact? 100 00:05:19,489 --> 00:05:21,489 The Osiris Stone... 101 00:05:21,485 --> 00:05:23,355 it's able to bring the dead back to life. 102 00:05:23,352 --> 00:05:25,012 That is so rad. Can I touch it? 103 00:05:25,020 --> 00:05:26,480 Sure. 104 00:05:26,477 --> 00:05:29,417 Awesome. Wow. 105 00:05:29,413 --> 00:05:30,813 You feeling all right, Jenkins? 106 00:05:30,810 --> 00:05:33,210 What? Uh, yeah. 107 00:05:33,206 --> 00:05:34,406 Yeah, no, never better. 108 00:05:34,405 --> 00:05:36,345 Yeah, just feeling like myself, 109 00:05:36,341 --> 00:05:37,541 you know, Jenkins. 110 00:05:37,539 --> 00:05:39,739 Jenkins being Jenkins. 111 00:05:39,736 --> 00:05:41,206 Aah! What the hell? 112 00:05:41,204 --> 00:05:42,674 Perimeter alarm. 113 00:05:42,671 --> 00:05:44,641 Someone's trying to get into the library. 114 00:05:46,205 --> 00:05:48,735 Who is that? 115 00:05:48,731 --> 00:05:51,671 Fingerprint not recognized. 116 00:05:51,667 --> 00:05:54,137 - Damn it. -Voice pattern not recognized. 117 00:05:54,133 --> 00:05:55,893 Oh, just... shut up. 118 00:05:57,997 --> 00:05:59,257 Ah. 119 00:06:00,862 --> 00:06:03,992 Colonel? Colonel, it's me. It's Jenkins! 120 00:06:03,987 --> 00:06:05,127 What's he doing? 121 00:06:05,125 --> 00:06:06,585 I mean, he's clearly insane. 122 00:06:06,593 --> 00:06:08,253 You gotta feel sorry for him, don't ya? 123 00:06:08,250 --> 00:06:10,050 Looks like a sad sack. 124 00:06:10,057 --> 00:06:14,127 I don't know. I feel like there's kind of a rugged handsomeness to him. 125 00:06:14,121 --> 00:06:15,621 How... 126 00:06:17,186 --> 00:06:18,586 Ah. 127 00:06:21,049 --> 00:06:22,749 - Sorry. Need this. - Hey! 128 00:06:23,775 --> 00:06:25,745 Jenkins. 129 00:06:27,439 --> 00:06:29,409 Oh, look. He's writing something. 130 00:06:32,112 --> 00:06:33,172 - Hey! Whoa! - What are you doing? 131 00:06:33,170 --> 00:06:34,840 Jeez! Butterfingers, right? 132 00:06:34,837 --> 00:06:37,177 Well, we're done with this guy anyway. 133 00:06:37,173 --> 00:06:39,773 Look, you've seen one homeless guy on bath salts, you've seen them all. 134 00:06:39,769 --> 00:06:42,639 Now, tell me all about that mission. 135 00:06:42,635 --> 00:06:44,965 Can you see it? 136 00:06:44,971 --> 00:06:46,101 I'm Jenkins! 137 00:06:46,099 --> 00:06:47,799 I am... 138 00:06:49,563 --> 00:06:52,033 Jenkins. 139 00:06:52,029 --> 00:06:53,529 They don't know it's me. 140 00:06:57,021 --> 00:06:59,761 Jeff, where have you been? 141 00:06:59,757 --> 00:07:02,287 I just walked from St. John's Bridge. 142 00:07:02,293 --> 00:07:04,493 Well, Lord, that's over five miles away. 143 00:07:04,489 --> 00:07:05,949 Actually eleven. 144 00:07:05,957 --> 00:07:07,757 Well, now that you're back, 145 00:07:07,754 --> 00:07:09,814 the toilet's been acting fussy again, 146 00:07:09,821 --> 00:07:12,481 and I had to miss both "Wheel" and "Steve Harvey." 147 00:07:12,487 --> 00:07:15,287 Oh, and guess what? We ran out of Werther's Originals. 148 00:07:15,282 --> 00:07:16,612 Wait a minute. Where are you going? 149 00:07:16,610 --> 00:07:18,680 I'm going to search his room, 150 00:07:18,677 --> 00:07:21,017 try to figure out why... how this happened. 151 00:07:21,013 --> 00:07:22,543 - Whose room? - Uh, just... 152 00:07:22,540 --> 00:07:24,480 Wait, what about my Werther's Originals, Jeff? 153 00:07:24,477 --> 00:07:28,277 Good grief, woman, don't you have some wretched husband 154 00:07:28,271 --> 00:07:29,471 you can order about? 155 00:07:29,469 --> 00:07:31,809 How could you say something like that? 156 00:07:31,805 --> 00:07:33,335 Do you think it's been easy for me 157 00:07:33,333 --> 00:07:35,073 living without your father? 158 00:07:35,070 --> 00:07:38,640 His cancer just about destroyed me. 159 00:07:41,729 --> 00:07:42,729 I'm sorry. 160 00:07:42,728 --> 00:07:45,328 I miss him so much. 161 00:07:46,662 --> 00:07:47,732 Right. 162 00:07:49,058 --> 00:07:51,528 Excuse me. 163 00:07:51,524 --> 00:07:54,664 Read it. People just inform themselves. 164 00:07:54,659 --> 00:07:55,859 - You're a dork. - Actually, you're a dork. 165 00:07:55,857 --> 00:07:57,127 - Hey, Jeff! - Hey, Jeff. 166 00:07:57,125 --> 00:07:58,325 Jeff, Jeff, Jeff! 167 00:07:58,323 --> 00:08:00,193 You ready to play? We said after work. 168 00:08:00,190 --> 00:08:01,720 I got Ring Pops. 169 00:08:01,717 --> 00:08:02,987 Leave me alone, please. 170 00:08:02,985 --> 00:08:04,255 - What about the game? - Yeah. 171 00:08:04,253 --> 00:08:05,913 So last we left off, 172 00:08:05,920 --> 00:08:08,650 we were about to enter the catacombs of the demon king 173 00:08:08,646 --> 00:08:10,516 to find the golden treasure. 174 00:08:10,513 --> 00:08:12,783 Jeff, D&D, we're waiting. 175 00:08:12,779 --> 00:08:15,249 Excuse me, please. For the last time, leave me be. 176 00:08:15,245 --> 00:08:16,975 I do not want to play your stupid game. 177 00:08:18,840 --> 00:08:20,480 Well, Jenkins is out. 178 00:08:21,775 --> 00:08:23,975 Guess it's just you and me, Jacob Stone. 179 00:08:23,971 --> 00:08:25,901 Quite right, Cassandra Cillian. 180 00:08:25,908 --> 00:08:29,168 Wait, wait, wait, wait, you know about the Librarians? 181 00:08:29,173 --> 00:08:31,773 God, what is wrong with you? He is seriously mental today. 182 00:08:31,769 --> 00:08:33,169 They're our D&D characters. 183 00:08:33,167 --> 00:08:35,237 We got Cassandra the Sorceress, 184 00:08:35,233 --> 00:08:36,363 Stone the Ranger. 185 00:08:36,361 --> 00:08:37,831 Baird the Warrior Princess. 186 00:08:37,829 --> 00:08:39,559 Flynn the Wise Sage. 187 00:08:39,566 --> 00:08:40,626 And Mr. Jones? 188 00:08:40,625 --> 00:08:42,695 Ezekiel the Cunning Thief. 189 00:08:42,691 --> 00:08:45,561 Sadly, he got eaten by a tenth-level Orc 190 00:08:45,557 --> 00:08:46,627 a few weeks ago. 191 00:08:46,625 --> 00:08:47,895 How do you know about them? 192 00:08:47,893 --> 00:08:49,223 Dude, because of you. 193 00:08:49,221 --> 00:08:50,561 You're, like, obsessed with them. 194 00:08:50,559 --> 00:08:51,889 Did you forget your shrine? 195 00:08:54,892 --> 00:08:56,452 What? 196 00:08:59,614 --> 00:09:01,284 You know, I'm still on the fence 197 00:09:01,281 --> 00:09:03,211 about whether they're real or not. 198 00:09:03,218 --> 00:09:04,818 - Librarians? - Of course they are. 199 00:09:04,816 --> 00:09:06,746 What about all those DOSA files that Wikileaks dumped? 200 00:09:06,743 --> 00:09:08,543 Oh, or those articles by what's-her-name, 201 00:09:08,550 --> 00:09:09,680 the reporter. 202 00:09:09,678 --> 00:09:11,008 - Sarina Bhonsle. - Yes. 203 00:09:11,006 --> 00:09:12,146 - She retracted them. - What? 204 00:09:12,144 --> 00:09:13,204 She took them all back. 205 00:09:13,212 --> 00:09:14,472 Or she was forced to. 206 00:09:14,480 --> 00:09:16,280 Conspiracy. 207 00:09:16,277 --> 00:09:18,207 - You had me at conspiracy. - Oh, my God. 208 00:09:18,204 --> 00:09:21,204 I'm, uh... 209 00:09:21,199 --> 00:09:23,139 really obsessed with Jenkins, huh? 210 00:09:23,136 --> 00:09:24,736 Big time. 211 00:09:24,734 --> 00:09:27,334 You said Jenkins is like an immortal knight of Camelot. 212 00:09:27,329 --> 00:09:28,469 Percival, I think. 213 00:09:28,468 --> 00:09:29,328 No, Lancelot. 214 00:09:29,336 --> 00:09:30,996 - Galahad. - Galahad! 215 00:09:30,993 --> 00:09:33,803 Who would want to be Galahad? Arthur is way cooler. 216 00:09:33,799 --> 00:09:38,569 So he switched bodies with me on purpose. 217 00:09:39,859 --> 00:09:42,529 The enemy is at the castle gates. 218 00:09:42,525 --> 00:09:45,195 To battle! 219 00:09:51,590 --> 00:09:53,920 Your skills are impressive, Black Knight. 220 00:09:53,917 --> 00:09:55,617 Can you handle this? 221 00:09:57,780 --> 00:09:59,710 I meant to do that. 222 00:09:59,717 --> 00:10:00,917 Yeah, you know, I meant to do that. 223 00:10:04,909 --> 00:10:07,049 Hey, Cassandra. 224 00:10:07,045 --> 00:10:09,375 Sassy Cassie. 225 00:10:09,372 --> 00:10:10,572 How you doing? 226 00:10:10,570 --> 00:10:11,570 I'm good. 227 00:10:11,578 --> 00:10:13,978 Uh, I guess I just... Jenkins, I need to... 228 00:10:13,974 --> 00:10:15,174 Ah, ah, ah, whoa, hey. 229 00:10:15,172 --> 00:10:16,342 Hold that thought. 230 00:10:17,838 --> 00:10:19,138 Water... 231 00:10:20,703 --> 00:10:21,603 into wine. 232 00:10:23,299 --> 00:10:26,169 Ha! How sick is that, right? 233 00:10:26,165 --> 00:10:28,165 You want a pull? 234 00:10:28,161 --> 00:10:30,131 - No, I'm good. - Cool. More for me. 235 00:10:31,895 --> 00:10:34,425 Ah, so... what's up? 236 00:10:34,431 --> 00:10:38,291 I mean, to what do I owe this splendiferous pleasure, Miss Cillian? 237 00:10:38,295 --> 00:10:41,355 Um, I... I found this book in the Annex, 238 00:10:41,350 --> 00:10:43,090 and I've never seen it before, 239 00:10:43,087 --> 00:10:44,217 and I can't find a file on it. 240 00:10:44,226 --> 00:10:45,616 Oh, yeah, no, that's, um... 241 00:10:45,623 --> 00:10:47,153 that's 'cause it's a new acquisition. 242 00:10:47,151 --> 00:10:48,881 Yeah, from the s... 243 00:10:48,888 --> 00:10:50,748 ...department. 244 00:10:50,745 --> 00:10:52,685 - Oh. - I was just about to file it away, 245 00:10:52,682 --> 00:10:55,852 so don't you worry your pretty little red head about it. 246 00:10:57,943 --> 00:10:59,473 Okay. Great. 247 00:10:59,481 --> 00:11:00,681 Hey, um... 248 00:11:00,679 --> 00:11:02,739 I was just thinking, 249 00:11:02,746 --> 00:11:04,076 if you weren't busy later, 250 00:11:04,074 --> 00:11:05,204 you and me could go out 251 00:11:05,212 --> 00:11:07,672 and double straw a margarita, 252 00:11:07,678 --> 00:11:09,408 maybe talk about magic, 253 00:11:09,405 --> 00:11:13,135 maybe... make some magic. 254 00:11:13,139 --> 00:11:14,339 Excuse me? 255 00:11:14,337 --> 00:11:15,867 What? No, nothing. 256 00:11:15,865 --> 00:11:16,935 - No. - No, no, I just... 257 00:11:16,933 --> 00:11:17,933 - Yeah. - Just kidding. 258 00:11:17,931 --> 00:11:19,461 Right. 259 00:11:19,469 --> 00:11:22,129 - Yeah... - Uh, I am going to put this puppy back 260 00:11:22,135 --> 00:11:23,795 and, yeah, good talk. 261 00:11:23,792 --> 00:11:25,532 Great. Okay. 262 00:11:25,529 --> 00:11:28,799 Yeah, Stoner, my man. 263 00:11:30,461 --> 00:11:32,061 Do you think... Do... Do you think 264 00:11:32,059 --> 00:11:34,929 there's something off about Jenkins? 265 00:11:34,924 --> 00:11:35,994 - 'Cause... - Maybe. 266 00:11:35,992 --> 00:11:36,992 - Yeah. - Yeah. 267 00:11:36,991 --> 00:11:38,391 - Mm-hmm. - He did ask me earlier 268 00:11:38,388 --> 00:11:39,988 if Baird was seeing anyone. 269 00:11:39,986 --> 00:11:41,586 - Oh. - I just figured it was a... 270 00:11:41,583 --> 00:11:44,253 like a byproduct of him dealing with mortality 271 00:11:44,249 --> 00:11:47,789 or a delayed, delayed mid-life crisis. 272 00:11:47,783 --> 00:11:49,183 Right. 273 00:11:49,181 --> 00:11:52,051 Hiding place, hiding place. 274 00:11:52,046 --> 00:11:54,776 Oh. Oh. 275 00:11:54,782 --> 00:11:56,642 Ugh. 276 00:11:56,639 --> 00:11:58,409 Gross. 277 00:12:03,907 --> 00:12:05,107 Rats... skitter, skitter. 278 00:12:05,105 --> 00:12:06,505 Bats... flying, flying, flying. 279 00:12:06,503 --> 00:12:08,973 You make your way down the castle catacombs, 280 00:12:08,969 --> 00:12:10,969 slime oozing down the walls. 281 00:12:10,966 --> 00:12:12,766 Suddenly you come across a wooden door. 282 00:12:12,763 --> 00:12:14,103 What do you do? 283 00:12:14,101 --> 00:12:15,361 - We open the door. - This is ridiculous. 284 00:12:15,369 --> 00:12:17,569 It creaks open... Cree-eak... 285 00:12:17,565 --> 00:12:20,365 revealing a glistening mound of treasure. 286 00:12:20,361 --> 00:12:22,161 But it is being guarded 287 00:12:22,158 --> 00:12:24,828 by a great ten-foot tall cave troll. 288 00:12:24,824 --> 00:12:26,764 Have I been acting odd lately? 289 00:12:26,760 --> 00:12:29,090 - Have I come into contact with anything? - The cave troll 290 00:12:29,087 --> 00:12:30,887 opens its great mouth, 291 00:12:30,884 --> 00:12:32,824 blood dripping from its fangs. 292 00:12:32,821 --> 00:12:33,951 What do you do? 293 00:12:33,959 --> 00:12:35,419 Attack! 294 00:12:35,417 --> 00:12:37,387 - Roll for initiative. - Ooh, yeah. 295 00:12:38,951 --> 00:12:41,481 Roll for initiative. 296 00:12:47,477 --> 00:12:49,207 Ha! Cassandra the Sorceress goes first. 297 00:12:49,214 --> 00:12:51,544 I cast fireball at the troll. 298 00:12:51,541 --> 00:12:53,611 Oh, completely ineffective. Does not work at all. 299 00:12:53,607 --> 00:12:55,407 - What? - What? She just rolled at 19. 300 00:12:55,404 --> 00:12:58,674 The cave troll is wearing a fire resistance ring, 301 00:12:58,669 --> 00:13:00,139 so it's immune to fireballs. 302 00:13:00,137 --> 00:13:01,267 Dude, always the fire rings. It's the third campaign... 303 00:13:02,673 --> 00:13:04,533 Who makes up this... Listen to me. 304 00:13:04,540 --> 00:13:07,200 First of all, do you realize how full this game is 305 00:13:07,195 --> 00:13:09,665 of just inaccuracies and misinformation? 306 00:13:09,661 --> 00:13:13,001 Um, my fifth edition Monster Manual begs to differ. 307 00:13:12,996 --> 00:13:15,466 Yes, that is not... 308 00:13:15,462 --> 00:13:17,392 First, no self-respecting castle 309 00:13:17,389 --> 00:13:18,859 will hide its treasure 310 00:13:18,857 --> 00:13:20,057 behind an unlocked wooden door. 311 00:13:20,055 --> 00:13:21,395 That's just amateur hour. 312 00:13:21,392 --> 00:13:22,922 And anybody that's anybody 313 00:13:22,920 --> 00:13:25,060 knows that cave trolls don't have fangs. 314 00:13:25,057 --> 00:13:28,257 They have tusks. Oh, and a fireball spell? 315 00:13:28,251 --> 00:13:31,121 Do you realize how long it takes to conjure one of those? 316 00:13:31,117 --> 00:13:35,657 Days. A paralysis spell works in half the time and is just as effective. 317 00:13:35,650 --> 00:13:37,780 People, if we're gonna do it, let's do it right. 318 00:13:37,786 --> 00:13:39,516 I think he needs to be the Dungeon Master. 319 00:13:39,513 --> 00:13:41,983 No! Not this again. I'm the Dungeon Master! 320 00:13:41,979 --> 00:13:43,779 Dude, that was incredible. He had the paralysis... 321 00:13:43,776 --> 00:13:45,176 Listen. Wait, wait. 322 00:13:45,174 --> 00:13:46,714 Is this what you do with your days, 323 00:13:46,712 --> 00:13:48,242 just sit in this cellar and play this game? 324 00:13:48,239 --> 00:13:51,179 What is wrong with you? 325 00:13:51,175 --> 00:13:53,505 Dude, you've been acting like a total psycho. 326 00:13:53,501 --> 00:13:57,111 - Yeah, ever since you found that book. - I... 327 00:13:57,105 --> 00:13:58,705 Book? What book? 328 00:13:58,702 --> 00:14:00,832 Seriously, do you not remember a single thing? 329 00:14:00,829 --> 00:14:01,899 Did you get hit in the head? 330 00:14:01,897 --> 00:14:03,297 Yeah, really hard. What book? 331 00:14:03,295 --> 00:14:05,435 The one you got online from the rare bookshop 332 00:14:05,432 --> 00:14:06,962 that was being liquidated. 333 00:14:06,959 --> 00:14:08,699 You wouldn't stop talking about it. 334 00:14:08,696 --> 00:14:10,966 You kept on saying how it would make a kick-ass monster manual. 335 00:14:10,963 --> 00:14:13,563 It looked a little bit strange to be a monster manual, if you ask me. 336 00:14:13,558 --> 00:14:14,958 Wait, wait, what did it look like? 337 00:14:14,956 --> 00:14:17,096 - I can probably look it up. - What? 338 00:14:17,093 --> 00:14:20,093 One second. Ah! 339 00:14:24,221 --> 00:14:26,221 That's no monster manual. 340 00:14:26,218 --> 00:14:28,618 That's the Asmodeus Grimoire. 341 00:14:28,614 --> 00:14:30,514 It's the most dangerous book in the world. 342 00:14:38,478 --> 00:14:39,278 Asmodeus Grimoire? 343 00:14:39,277 --> 00:14:41,007 Jeff, what are you talking about? 344 00:14:41,014 --> 00:14:43,074 He bought the book. He didn't know what it was. 345 00:14:43,071 --> 00:14:44,411 Then he found out what it was, 346 00:14:44,409 --> 00:14:46,209 and he used it to exchange places with me, 347 00:14:46,206 --> 00:14:48,206 not understanding the consequences. 348 00:14:48,203 --> 00:14:49,343 Jeff, you're scaring me. 349 00:14:49,341 --> 00:14:51,001 I've gotta break into the Library, 350 00:14:51,008 --> 00:14:52,538 find the book if he still has... 351 00:14:52,536 --> 00:14:54,936 how do I break into the Library? 352 00:14:54,932 --> 00:14:57,672 Oh. Secret entrances. 353 00:14:57,667 --> 00:14:58,927 I can't do that without help. 354 00:14:58,935 --> 00:15:00,065 I've got to... 355 00:15:03,328 --> 00:15:04,598 Get up. Let's go. 356 00:15:04,596 --> 00:15:05,996 - What? - Let's go. 357 00:15:05,994 --> 00:15:07,194 Up. Out. Mush. 358 00:15:07,192 --> 00:15:08,392 - Where are we going? - Just go. 359 00:15:08,390 --> 00:15:10,330 - What about the game? - Don't worry about it. 360 00:15:10,327 --> 00:15:12,457 I promised my wife I was gonna stop at the Bed, Bath, & Beyond. 361 00:15:12,454 --> 00:15:14,794 Yes, yes. I don't know what that is, but it's gonna have to wait. 362 00:15:14,790 --> 00:15:17,060 Come on. Go. Go. Get in the car. 363 00:15:17,056 --> 00:15:18,916 Jeff, please. 364 00:15:18,923 --> 00:15:20,253 I'm not going another step further 365 00:15:20,251 --> 00:15:21,851 until you tell us what's going on. 366 00:15:21,848 --> 00:15:23,318 Yeah! And what about the game? 367 00:15:23,316 --> 00:15:28,116 Okay, this is going to sound ludicrous to you, but... 368 00:15:29,846 --> 00:15:31,716 I'm not your friend Jeff. 369 00:15:31,713 --> 00:15:33,913 I am in reality Jenkins, 370 00:15:33,909 --> 00:15:36,179 also known as Galahad, Knight of Camelot, 371 00:15:36,175 --> 00:15:38,505 and Caretaker to the magical Library, 372 00:15:38,512 --> 00:15:40,172 which happens to be real. 373 00:15:40,169 --> 00:15:41,639 The book that your friend bought 374 00:15:41,637 --> 00:15:43,637 was not a toy, nor a fake. 375 00:15:43,633 --> 00:15:45,373 It was an authentic spellbook 376 00:15:45,371 --> 00:15:49,841 which he used to exchange bodies with me, 377 00:15:49,833 --> 00:15:51,303 apparently because he was obsessed with me, 378 00:15:51,301 --> 00:15:54,901 but when he did so, he also unknowingly 379 00:15:54,895 --> 00:15:58,965 released very powerful evil forces 380 00:15:58,959 --> 00:16:01,829 that could wreak havoc, 381 00:16:01,824 --> 00:16:04,964 and we must stop it before it's too late. 382 00:16:06,756 --> 00:16:07,956 - Okay. - Makes sense. 383 00:16:07,954 --> 00:16:10,224 - Totally. - That's it? 384 00:16:10,221 --> 00:16:13,021 No... "That's the craziest thing we've ever heard, dude"? 385 00:16:13,016 --> 00:16:14,886 Yeah. No, we figured something like this was going on. 386 00:16:14,883 --> 00:16:16,553 Yeah, it's just like that D&D module, 387 00:16:16,550 --> 00:16:18,480 "The Sinister Body Snatchers of Boldovia." 388 00:16:18,487 --> 00:16:20,087 When do we start? 389 00:16:21,812 --> 00:16:24,412 Uh, now. Let's start now. 390 00:16:24,418 --> 00:16:27,078 Front entrance to the Library is impenetrable, 391 00:16:27,083 --> 00:16:29,883 protected by an elaborate security system. 392 00:16:29,879 --> 00:16:31,609 There is, however, a back door, 393 00:16:31,606 --> 00:16:33,206 but to gain access to it, 394 00:16:33,204 --> 00:16:35,544 one must first pass through a series 395 00:16:35,540 --> 00:16:36,810 of booby-trapped chambers, 396 00:16:36,808 --> 00:16:39,078 each more deadly than the last. 397 00:16:39,074 --> 00:16:40,804 If you know so much about it, 398 00:16:40,801 --> 00:16:42,131 why can't you just waltz in? 399 00:16:42,139 --> 00:16:43,939 Yeah, why do you need us? 400 00:16:43,936 --> 00:16:45,536 Because the chambers were designed 401 00:16:45,534 --> 00:16:46,804 to prevent a single individual 402 00:16:46,802 --> 00:16:47,932 from gaining access. 403 00:16:47,930 --> 00:16:48,930 It takes teamwork. 404 00:16:50,196 --> 00:16:51,796 But you know about the booby traps, right? 405 00:16:51,794 --> 00:16:53,534 You can get us past the booby traps. 406 00:16:53,531 --> 00:16:56,531 No, the chambers are constantly self-reconfiguring, 407 00:16:56,526 --> 00:16:59,196 the puzzles inside, chosen by the Library itself. 408 00:16:59,192 --> 00:17:00,992 I have no idea what we'll face. 409 00:17:00,989 --> 00:17:03,459 - Wow. - All of you must help me 410 00:17:03,455 --> 00:17:04,725 get to the back door. 411 00:17:04,723 --> 00:17:05,923 In order to do this, 412 00:17:05,921 --> 00:17:07,121 you must be trained 413 00:17:07,119 --> 00:17:08,649 in the way of the Librarians. 414 00:17:08,656 --> 00:17:10,916 You must become greater than yourselves. 415 00:17:10,923 --> 00:17:13,123 You're going to turn us into Librarians? 416 00:17:13,119 --> 00:17:15,379 No, that would take a miracle. 417 00:17:15,386 --> 00:17:16,646 Let's begin. 418 00:17:22,973 --> 00:17:26,243 A Librarian must make friends with danger, 419 00:17:26,238 --> 00:17:28,708 must learn to fight with his, or her, 420 00:17:28,704 --> 00:17:31,044 body and mind. 421 00:17:42,103 --> 00:17:44,233 A Librarian is more than a person. 422 00:17:44,229 --> 00:17:47,569 A Librarian is a shining beacon, 423 00:17:47,564 --> 00:17:51,964 reminding us of the best humanity has to offer. 424 00:17:51,957 --> 00:17:54,157 Everything hurts. 425 00:17:54,163 --> 00:17:56,763 Why did you make us do that? 426 00:17:56,759 --> 00:17:58,829 - That was grueling. - Hmm. 427 00:17:58,826 --> 00:18:00,826 What are you doing over there? 428 00:18:00,822 --> 00:18:02,352 Yeah, come on. Join us. 429 00:18:02,350 --> 00:18:05,750 Have some of my famous home-brewed mead. 430 00:18:05,755 --> 00:18:08,685 It's cheap wine mixed with Shasta cola. 431 00:18:08,680 --> 00:18:10,280 - Ignore her. - It's so good. 432 00:18:10,287 --> 00:18:11,417 You'll love it. 433 00:18:11,415 --> 00:18:13,745 It's been a very long time 434 00:18:13,742 --> 00:18:16,912 since I partook in spirits. Hmm? 435 00:18:18,214 --> 00:18:19,444 Good stuff, huh? 436 00:18:23,875 --> 00:18:24,935 No, not at all. 437 00:18:27,410 --> 00:18:32,210 So are you honestly gonna sit there and not tell us about Camelot? 438 00:18:32,202 --> 00:18:35,002 We're D&D nerds. Spill. 439 00:18:34,997 --> 00:18:37,397 Come on, what was Arthur like? 440 00:18:37,404 --> 00:18:38,594 Bossy. 441 00:18:38,602 --> 00:18:41,002 A bit vain, but a good king. 442 00:18:40,998 --> 00:18:43,728 Was Merlin as cool as we think he is? 443 00:18:43,723 --> 00:18:45,863 - Cooler than you can imagine. - Aww! 444 00:18:45,860 --> 00:18:48,260 To be a Knight of the Round Table. 445 00:18:48,256 --> 00:18:50,196 I bet it was a lot like this, right? 446 00:18:50,193 --> 00:18:53,523 Just sitting around, drinking mead, 447 00:18:53,518 --> 00:18:55,058 telling tales of glory. 448 00:18:55,055 --> 00:18:58,585 Well, I don't know so much about that. 449 00:18:58,589 --> 00:19:00,649 I stayed to myself a lot. 450 00:19:00,656 --> 00:19:01,986 But you're Galahad, 451 00:19:01,984 --> 00:19:03,654 the finder of the Holy Grail, 452 00:19:03,651 --> 00:19:04,781 nicknamed the "Perfect Knight." 453 00:19:04,779 --> 00:19:07,519 But also the illegitimate son of Lancelot, 454 00:19:07,515 --> 00:19:09,115 not of true noble birth. 455 00:19:09,112 --> 00:19:10,642 I always felt different than the others, 456 00:19:10,650 --> 00:19:12,240 even after joining the Library. 457 00:19:12,247 --> 00:19:16,117 I'm neither Librarian nor Guardian. 458 00:19:16,111 --> 00:19:17,511 It's... 459 00:19:17,509 --> 00:19:20,709 sort of on the outside looking in. 460 00:19:20,704 --> 00:19:23,244 I know what you're talking about. 461 00:19:23,240 --> 00:19:24,640 I grew up an Army brat, 462 00:19:24,637 --> 00:19:27,167 so we moved eight times in 12 years. 463 00:19:27,173 --> 00:19:31,303 I never lived a single place long enough to call home. 464 00:19:31,297 --> 00:19:33,897 You had it lucky. I would've killed to move. 465 00:19:33,893 --> 00:19:35,093 Beats sticking around, being picked on 466 00:19:35,101 --> 00:19:36,561 by all the beautiful people. 467 00:19:36,568 --> 00:19:39,168 Try dealing with a family of overachievers. 468 00:19:39,164 --> 00:19:41,564 Do you know what it was like during Thanksgiving? 469 00:19:41,560 --> 00:19:43,090 I was invisible. 470 00:19:43,088 --> 00:19:46,498 To the outcasts. 471 00:19:46,492 --> 00:19:49,092 Long may they reign. 472 00:19:49,088 --> 00:19:50,288 Huzzah. 473 00:19:52,423 --> 00:19:54,423 I will never drink wine and Shasta again, 474 00:19:54,420 --> 00:19:55,680 that's for sure. 475 00:19:55,687 --> 00:19:57,347 Do you guys think this is too much? 476 00:19:57,355 --> 00:19:59,085 - Maybe I should go home and change Ag... - No, stop it. 477 00:19:59,082 --> 00:20:00,482 You've already changed twice. 478 00:20:00,480 --> 00:20:02,010 No, no, no, no, honey. We shouldn't be late. 479 00:20:02,017 --> 00:20:03,277 I'm just gonna break into the Magical Castle and... 480 00:20:03,275 --> 00:20:05,615 Hang up! 481 00:20:05,612 --> 00:20:07,912 We need to focus. 482 00:20:16,474 --> 00:20:20,544 Come. We have to enter here to gain access to the underground chambers. 483 00:20:20,537 --> 00:20:22,737 Where? The tree? 484 00:20:25,869 --> 00:20:27,599 Run directly into it. 485 00:20:27,596 --> 00:20:28,866 It will transport you there. 486 00:20:28,864 --> 00:20:30,334 It's an invisible door, 487 00:20:30,332 --> 00:20:32,332 just like the train station in Harry Potter. 488 00:20:32,328 --> 00:20:33,998 Love it. 489 00:20:33,996 --> 00:20:34,996 Now that... 490 00:20:34,994 --> 00:20:35,864 Uh! 491 00:20:35,863 --> 00:20:37,863 Aurora, are you okay? 492 00:20:37,860 --> 00:20:41,260 Please tell me one of you guys got a picture of that. 493 00:20:41,254 --> 00:20:42,394 That was awesome! 494 00:20:42,392 --> 00:20:46,592 The entrance is here. 495 00:20:46,586 --> 00:20:48,526 Get behind me. 496 00:20:48,522 --> 00:20:49,882 Follow me in. 497 00:20:51,518 --> 00:20:54,848 Now that was awesome. 498 00:20:54,852 --> 00:20:58,652 - Whoo! Yeah! - Oh, my God! 499 00:21:02,909 --> 00:21:05,679 The door down there will take us to the second chamber. 500 00:21:10,377 --> 00:21:14,307 Tell me that did not just come up out of the floor. 501 00:21:14,301 --> 00:21:19,241 Interlocking pieces, like part of a jigsaw puzzle. 502 00:21:19,233 --> 00:21:22,033 So if we solve it, then we can cross. Awesome. 503 00:21:22,028 --> 00:21:23,828 Oh, well, I know puzzles 'cause I do them 504 00:21:23,836 --> 00:21:24,896 - with my kids all the time. - Wait! Don't... 505 00:21:27,829 --> 00:21:29,559 What was that? What was that? What was that? 506 00:21:29,556 --> 00:21:32,366 You set off one of the booby traps. 507 00:21:32,362 --> 00:21:33,962 - Sorry. - Each wrong move 508 00:21:33,959 --> 00:21:36,759 makes the chamber collapse a little more. 509 00:21:36,755 --> 00:21:38,055 What are we gonna do now? 510 00:21:51,351 --> 00:21:54,351 - Awesome. - Hello, Jenkins. 511 00:21:54,346 --> 00:21:59,686 Oh, well, if it isn't my favorite math whiz/ synesthete/tumor survivor. 512 00:21:59,678 --> 00:22:01,278 What's happenin', Red? 513 00:22:01,275 --> 00:22:04,405 I just found this scroll I need translated for an upcoming mission. 514 00:22:04,410 --> 00:22:07,210 I couldn't find Stone, so I thought maybe you could help me. 515 00:22:07,206 --> 00:22:10,076 You w... you want me to Tran... translate? 516 00:22:10,071 --> 00:22:12,801 Yeah. It's just a mix of Sumerian 517 00:22:12,797 --> 00:22:15,607 and seventh-century archaic Latin. 518 00:22:15,602 --> 00:22:18,462 Should be a breeze for you. After all, you are Jenkins. 519 00:22:18,468 --> 00:22:19,798 Yeah. Uh-huh, yeah. 520 00:22:19,795 --> 00:22:22,665 Uh-huh, what... Did you... Did you hear that? 521 00:22:22,661 --> 00:22:24,131 Did you hear someone calling for me? 522 00:22:24,128 --> 00:22:25,928 I think I heard... Yeah, I'll be right there! 523 00:22:25,926 --> 00:22:28,126 Translate the scroll, Jenkins. 524 00:22:28,122 --> 00:22:30,662 Oh, sure. Yeah, not a problem. Not a problem. 525 00:22:32,255 --> 00:22:33,725 Boy, they... 526 00:22:33,723 --> 00:22:36,253 sure make the font small on these things, huh? 527 00:22:36,249 --> 00:22:37,849 Okay. Um, 528 00:22:37,856 --> 00:22:42,786 inter-way... is-yay... oming-cay. 529 00:22:42,778 --> 00:22:44,578 - Pig Latin. - I knew it. 530 00:22:44,585 --> 00:22:46,185 - I knew you were a fake. - What did you do with Jenkins? 531 00:22:46,183 --> 00:22:47,313 Oh, please don't hurt me. 532 00:22:47,311 --> 00:22:49,181 Tell us or we feed you to Nessie. 533 00:22:49,178 --> 00:22:52,578 No, please. Wait, the Loch Ness Monster's here? 534 00:22:52,573 --> 00:22:54,983 - Start talking. - Okay, all right. 535 00:22:54,979 --> 00:22:56,839 Um, um, uh-uh... 536 00:22:56,846 --> 00:22:58,776 Okay, my name is Jeff Peppers. 537 00:22:58,773 --> 00:23:00,773 I'm a 28-year-old tech from Circuit Town. 538 00:23:00,769 --> 00:23:02,369 I found a book with magic in it, 539 00:23:02,367 --> 00:23:03,837 and I used it to swap places with Jenkins. 540 00:23:03,834 --> 00:23:05,704 That's the book I was telling you about. 541 00:23:05,701 --> 00:23:06,971 I didn't mean to hurt anybody. 542 00:23:06,969 --> 00:23:08,569 I just wanted to... 543 00:23:08,567 --> 00:23:10,097 rent him for a little while. 544 00:23:10,094 --> 00:23:11,894 You know, honestly, I'm a really good guy. 545 00:23:11,902 --> 00:23:13,632 If you guys ever find yourself out by Circuit Town, 546 00:23:13,629 --> 00:23:14,969 pop on in. I'll give you a discount. 547 00:23:14,967 --> 00:23:17,097 Well, on anything other than Apple products 548 00:23:17,093 --> 00:23:18,563 'cause, you know, they don't really give me that kind of pull... 549 00:23:18,561 --> 00:23:21,161 Where's this book? 550 00:23:21,157 --> 00:23:22,557 It's just over here. 551 00:23:22,554 --> 00:23:24,354 I hid it underneath one of your end tables, 552 00:23:24,361 --> 00:23:26,021 which are beautiful, by the way. 553 00:23:26,019 --> 00:23:27,489 Just show us the book. 554 00:23:27,486 --> 00:23:30,756 Yeah, no, there it is. See? No harm, no foul. 555 00:23:33,487 --> 00:23:37,217 What is that? Are those hoof prints? 556 00:23:47,814 --> 00:23:49,874 We've been staring at this forever. 557 00:23:49,870 --> 00:23:51,670 There has to be a way to figure this out. 558 00:23:51,677 --> 00:23:54,177 - Well... - I know this. 559 00:23:55,601 --> 00:23:57,601 - Uh... - Schmidt, what are you doing? 560 00:23:57,608 --> 00:23:58,738 Yeah, man, don't play around. 561 00:23:58,736 --> 00:24:01,936 Twenty pieces, each a triangle. 562 00:24:01,931 --> 00:24:05,601 Twenty pieces. Twenty triangles. 563 00:24:05,595 --> 00:24:07,395 Mr. Schmidt, we cannot afford any mistakes. 564 00:24:07,402 --> 00:24:09,832 Trust me, guys. I got this. 565 00:24:27,050 --> 00:24:29,850 It's an icosahedron. How did you know that? 566 00:24:29,846 --> 00:24:33,716 It's the one shape every D&D player in the world knows. 567 00:24:33,720 --> 00:24:37,250 20-sided die. Roll for initiative, bitches. 568 00:24:37,244 --> 00:24:39,644 - That was awesome! - Dragon's fire, bro! 569 00:24:39,640 --> 00:24:41,610 Dungeon Master, bro! 570 00:24:43,444 --> 00:24:45,414 Mr. Schmidt. 571 00:24:47,977 --> 00:24:50,307 Now, we have to turn these dials 572 00:24:50,303 --> 00:24:52,703 exactly at the same time. 573 00:24:53,837 --> 00:24:57,167 One, two, three. 574 00:25:15,692 --> 00:25:17,352 This one looks fun. 575 00:25:17,359 --> 00:25:19,889 Oh, God! What is that? 576 00:25:19,885 --> 00:25:23,225 Stop, stop, stop. Just stop. 577 00:25:23,220 --> 00:25:24,550 Past intruders in the Library. 578 00:25:24,548 --> 00:25:26,488 Many have tried. None have succeeded. 579 00:25:26,485 --> 00:25:27,885 Let's get out of this chamber quick. 580 00:25:30,548 --> 00:25:35,018 Would you please stop setting off booby traps? 581 00:25:35,011 --> 00:25:38,681 What is wrong with you? Have you not seen Last Crusade"? 582 00:25:38,675 --> 00:25:40,405 Oh, is that the one with Shia LaBeouf? 583 00:25:40,412 --> 00:25:41,872 No, Dennis! 584 00:25:41,870 --> 00:25:45,010 - Gimme that boom. - Excuse me? 585 00:25:45,005 --> 00:25:47,675 The tiles. It's just like "Dance Dance Revolution." 586 00:25:47,671 --> 00:25:50,471 - What? - It's this stupid dancing game 587 00:25:50,466 --> 00:25:52,866 where you step on glowing tiles 588 00:25:52,872 --> 00:25:54,672 that match a pattern. 589 00:25:54,669 --> 00:25:56,799 These tiles are glowing in a repeating pattern, 590 00:25:56,796 --> 00:25:58,736 just like the song, "Gimme That Boom." 591 00:25:58,733 --> 00:25:59,733 Watch. 592 00:26:04,324 --> 00:26:06,994 ♪ Gimme that boom, boom, boom ♪ 593 00:26:06,990 --> 00:26:09,190 ♪ Gimme that boom, boom, boom 594 00:26:09,186 --> 00:26:12,456 Holy roly poly, it's working. 595 00:26:12,451 --> 00:26:14,661 Come on. 596 00:26:14,657 --> 00:26:17,257 ♪ Gimme that boom, boom, boom ♪ 597 00:26:17,253 --> 00:26:20,183 ♪ Gimme that boom, boom, boom ♪ 598 00:26:20,188 --> 00:26:22,448 ♪ Bang it with the bottom, gonna make ya move ♪ 599 00:26:22,445 --> 00:26:23,715 Come on, Jenkins, dance. 600 00:26:23,713 --> 00:26:26,183 - No. - But you'll die! 601 00:26:26,179 --> 00:26:27,709 Much preferred. Thank you. 602 00:26:27,716 --> 00:26:29,846 Jenkins, you'll never get your body back. 603 00:26:29,843 --> 00:26:32,983 ♪ Gimme that, gimme that, gimme that ♪ 604 00:26:32,978 --> 00:26:36,578 ♪ That, that boom, boom, boom ♪ 605 00:26:36,572 --> 00:26:39,772 ♪ We get dressed up, put on the makeup ♪ 606 00:26:39,767 --> 00:26:41,707 Go, Jenkins! It's your birthday! 607 00:26:41,704 --> 00:26:43,574 - Go, Jenkins! - Come on, Jenkins! 608 00:26:43,571 --> 00:26:45,971 ♪I can't stop this... ♪ 609 00:26:47,165 --> 00:26:48,365 Way to go, Sir Jenkins. 610 00:26:48,363 --> 00:26:50,763 Well done. Well done. 611 00:26:50,769 --> 00:26:54,229 But any of you ever mention this, 612 00:26:54,233 --> 00:26:55,433 I will end you. 613 00:26:55,432 --> 00:26:57,392 - Okay. - Understood. 614 00:27:00,693 --> 00:27:04,393 Aurora. Now, just like before. 615 00:27:08,091 --> 00:27:10,621 - Whoa. - Where are we? 616 00:27:10,617 --> 00:27:13,487 If this is the final chamber, then where's the door? 617 00:27:13,482 --> 00:27:15,822 Maybe we did something wrong. 618 00:27:15,819 --> 00:27:18,489 Maybe we're in a dream, 619 00:27:18,484 --> 00:27:21,484 like inside the dream of some giant sentient creature, 620 00:27:21,480 --> 00:27:24,150 and when he wakes up, we'll wake up. 621 00:27:24,145 --> 00:27:25,345 Or we're in limbo, 622 00:27:25,343 --> 00:27:26,743 and we got in a huge car accident 623 00:27:26,741 --> 00:27:28,211 on the way here, and we all just died. 624 00:27:28,209 --> 00:27:30,609 - Or... - Please, please, be quiet. 625 00:27:30,605 --> 00:27:32,275 I'm trying to concentrate. 626 00:27:32,272 --> 00:27:34,472 Don't worry, Sir Jenkins. We will find a way out of here. 627 00:27:34,469 --> 00:27:36,139 Oh, God, I don't think so. 628 00:27:36,136 --> 00:27:38,206 I don't think we can dance our way out of this one. 629 00:27:38,203 --> 00:27:40,073 Hey, she's just trying to be positive. 630 00:27:40,070 --> 00:27:42,800 I was an idiot thinking I could train you as Librarians. 631 00:27:42,805 --> 00:27:43,795 It's impossible! 632 00:27:43,804 --> 00:27:46,334 And now here we are. We're stuck. 633 00:27:46,330 --> 00:27:47,330 Stuck in this room. 634 00:27:47,328 --> 00:27:49,398 I am stuck in this body. 635 00:27:49,395 --> 00:27:51,865 It's no use. 636 00:27:51,861 --> 00:27:52,991 Oh, God. 637 00:27:52,999 --> 00:27:54,529 It's... 638 00:27:54,526 --> 00:27:59,066 Hopeless. It's hopeless. 639 00:28:05,918 --> 00:28:06,888 Mr. Jenkins. 640 00:28:09,652 --> 00:28:11,652 There's this bedtime story I often tell my kids. 641 00:28:11,649 --> 00:28:12,579 Oh, God. 642 00:28:12,587 --> 00:28:14,847 It... It's about a bunny 643 00:28:14,844 --> 00:28:17,244 that gets lost on his way home from the dark wood, 644 00:28:17,250 --> 00:28:19,650 and he gets so scared, so frightened, 645 00:28:19,646 --> 00:28:23,446 that he wants to just curl up in a little ball and give up. 646 00:28:23,440 --> 00:28:26,180 But then he remembers what his mother always tells him. 647 00:28:26,175 --> 00:28:29,775 No matter how dark things look, 648 00:28:29,770 --> 00:28:32,270 just keep hopping and you'll find your way home. 649 00:28:34,772 --> 00:28:35,872 Just keep hopping. 650 00:28:39,234 --> 00:28:40,494 Just keep... 651 00:28:40,502 --> 00:28:41,602 ...hopping. 652 00:28:47,291 --> 00:28:49,831 Just keep... hopping. 653 00:28:52,962 --> 00:28:54,562 - Yeah. - Okay. 654 00:28:54,560 --> 00:28:58,360 Just keep... hopping! 655 00:28:58,354 --> 00:28:59,984 Hopping! 656 00:29:02,487 --> 00:29:05,157 And hopping! 657 00:29:05,153 --> 00:29:07,313 Find your way home! 658 00:29:11,013 --> 00:29:11,913 We made it. 659 00:29:17,413 --> 00:29:20,743 That last chamber was a test of perseverance. 660 00:29:20,738 --> 00:29:23,478 Thank you, Dennis. 661 00:29:23,473 --> 00:29:26,543 And thank you all for bringing me this far. 662 00:29:28,136 --> 00:29:31,266 But here is where we must part. 663 00:29:31,271 --> 00:29:33,531 You mean, we can't go in? 664 00:29:33,537 --> 00:29:36,537 No. The Library must stay a magical secret place. 665 00:29:36,532 --> 00:29:38,262 It cannot be shared with the public, 666 00:29:38,259 --> 00:29:40,929 despite what your friend Jeff thinks. 667 00:29:40,925 --> 00:29:42,925 Go to his house, 668 00:29:42,932 --> 00:29:44,662 and if all turns out well, 669 00:29:44,659 --> 00:29:46,829 you'll soon have your friend back to normal. 670 00:29:54,383 --> 00:29:55,823 May I borrow your sword? 671 00:29:57,518 --> 00:30:00,318 Would you three take a knee, please? 672 00:30:03,778 --> 00:30:06,518 In the name of the ancient gods, 673 00:30:06,514 --> 00:30:08,184 and to all the ancient kings, 674 00:30:08,181 --> 00:30:12,311 I dub thee three honorary knights of Camelot. 675 00:30:12,314 --> 00:30:14,274 Rise, knights. 676 00:30:18,774 --> 00:30:23,104 I have fought beside the greatest of warriors, 677 00:30:23,107 --> 00:30:24,937 but none braver than you. 678 00:30:30,895 --> 00:30:32,565 Now, go. 679 00:30:32,562 --> 00:30:35,462 I have an evil book I must find. 680 00:30:53,548 --> 00:30:57,018 Mr. Stone. Mr. Stone. 681 00:30:57,012 --> 00:30:59,682 Ezekiel. Cassan... 682 00:30:59,678 --> 00:31:02,018 Colonel? 683 00:31:02,014 --> 00:31:03,144 Colonel. Colonel. 684 00:31:14,205 --> 00:31:16,305 Show yourself! 685 00:31:19,606 --> 00:31:21,396 Oh, thank God. 686 00:31:21,403 --> 00:31:22,933 I thought that thing was back. 687 00:31:22,931 --> 00:31:24,071 You thief! 688 00:31:24,069 --> 00:31:25,199 Oh, crap. Wait, wait, wait, wait. 689 00:31:25,197 --> 00:31:26,597 You stole my body! 690 00:31:26,595 --> 00:31:28,535 Yes, yes, I did, but it was just for a little while. 691 00:31:28,532 --> 00:31:29,862 I promise I was going to give it back. 692 00:31:29,860 --> 00:31:31,330 - Liar! - No, I'm telling the truth. 693 00:31:31,327 --> 00:31:32,527 I told the Librarians about the book, 694 00:31:32,525 --> 00:31:34,465 and I was taking them to find it 695 00:31:34,462 --> 00:31:37,462 when this monster, it came out and it attacked us, and I hid. 696 00:31:37,457 --> 00:31:39,527 You think that was bad? Wait till I get hold of you! 697 00:31:39,524 --> 00:31:40,984 - Please, please, please. - How dare you! 698 00:31:40,992 --> 00:31:42,852 Stop! Just stop. Please, please stop. 699 00:31:42,859 --> 00:31:44,989 I screwed up. I used the book, 700 00:31:44,985 --> 00:31:46,385 and I got in way over my head. 701 00:31:46,383 --> 00:31:47,923 I didn't mean for any of this to happen. 702 00:31:47,921 --> 00:31:51,621 I'm so sorry. 703 00:31:56,177 --> 00:32:00,317 That thing. What was that? 704 00:32:00,311 --> 00:32:04,451 That is Asmodeus, one of the Seven Princes of Hell. 705 00:32:04,444 --> 00:32:08,574 Centuries ago, Merlin entrapped him in that spellbook. 706 00:32:08,567 --> 00:32:10,507 But by you using it, you unknowingly 707 00:32:10,504 --> 00:32:13,574 released him back into the world. 708 00:32:13,569 --> 00:32:16,769 - Your friends, are they... - They're... 709 00:32:16,764 --> 00:32:18,104 They'll be fine. 710 00:32:18,102 --> 00:32:20,702 It's just a form of hibernation. 711 00:32:20,698 --> 00:32:25,098 Asmodeus' power is limited for now, but I must find him. 712 00:32:25,091 --> 00:32:27,231 I must entrap him again, and to do that, 713 00:32:27,227 --> 00:32:29,227 I must be in my own body. 714 00:32:29,224 --> 00:32:32,424 - So give me that book back. - You wanna switch back now? 715 00:32:32,429 --> 00:32:35,089 If I'm to fight a Prince of Hell, 716 00:32:35,085 --> 00:32:38,025 I can't do it in this... 717 00:32:38,020 --> 00:32:40,890 short, slightly overweight body. 718 00:32:40,885 --> 00:32:43,815 I need to be in my own skin. 719 00:32:43,820 --> 00:32:46,350 But I like being you. 720 00:32:46,346 --> 00:32:49,416 - Jeff! - You saw my life. You saw how much it sucks. 721 00:32:49,411 --> 00:32:52,281 I mean, I live in my mother's basement, for Christ's sake. 722 00:32:53,215 --> 00:32:56,545 My life is not yours to take. 723 00:32:56,540 --> 00:32:58,410 I know. I know. 724 00:32:58,407 --> 00:32:59,607 It... It... 725 00:32:59,605 --> 00:33:02,005 It's just... 726 00:33:02,011 --> 00:33:05,271 You had to be me for a couple of days. 727 00:33:05,266 --> 00:33:06,706 I have to be me forever. 728 00:33:12,864 --> 00:33:16,204 Not long ago, I made a decision 729 00:33:16,198 --> 00:33:19,268 to become mortal. 730 00:33:19,263 --> 00:33:23,133 My choice. I... I did it willingly, 731 00:33:23,127 --> 00:33:26,397 but I will confess that I was not prepared 732 00:33:26,392 --> 00:33:29,662 for what it would be like to actually be human. 733 00:33:29,657 --> 00:33:32,587 And I've been struggling, truly struggling, 734 00:33:32,592 --> 00:33:35,192 with the idea of growing older, the limitations, 735 00:33:35,188 --> 00:33:37,318 and having to go into the world 736 00:33:37,314 --> 00:33:38,914 dealing with people? 737 00:33:38,912 --> 00:33:41,722 There are a lot of awful people in the world. 738 00:33:41,717 --> 00:33:43,987 Do you know that? But I think I'm coming to realize 739 00:33:43,984 --> 00:33:47,654 that I've been concentrating on the negative a little too much, 740 00:33:47,648 --> 00:33:52,118 because on the other side there are wonderful, 741 00:33:52,111 --> 00:33:55,911 amazing things in this life, in your life. 742 00:33:55,904 --> 00:33:58,774 You have phenomenally faithful friends, 743 00:33:58,770 --> 00:34:02,240 you have a loving mother, and you have food. 744 00:34:03,173 --> 00:34:04,633 Yeah, food is good. 745 00:34:04,630 --> 00:34:05,630 Food is delicious. 746 00:34:05,639 --> 00:34:07,099 Yeah. 747 00:34:07,096 --> 00:34:08,636 And so there are beautiful things in life, 748 00:34:08,634 --> 00:34:11,634 in your life, and we have to embrace it all. 749 00:34:11,629 --> 00:34:14,229 Because, really, what's the point of having a life 750 00:34:14,225 --> 00:34:17,565 if one does not live it fully? 751 00:34:24,688 --> 00:34:28,028 If I have followed this recipe precisely, 752 00:34:28,023 --> 00:34:31,823 this should do the trick. 753 00:34:31,817 --> 00:34:34,957 - Ugh, it smells rank. - Eh? It... well, 754 00:34:34,952 --> 00:34:37,822 it can't be any worse than your friend Schmidt's homemade mead. 755 00:34:37,817 --> 00:34:39,047 Down the hatch. 756 00:34:42,949 --> 00:34:44,009 I could use a chaser. 757 00:34:44,007 --> 00:34:45,177 Ooh. 758 00:34:46,543 --> 00:34:49,343 Hey, what's going on? Why do I still look like you? 759 00:34:52,543 --> 00:34:54,603 Perhaps the potion has a delayed reaction. 760 00:34:54,600 --> 00:34:58,070 Oh, okay. So what? Do we just sit here and wait it out? 761 00:34:58,064 --> 00:34:59,404 No, no, no. We have no time for that. 762 00:34:59,402 --> 00:35:01,732 For every minute Asmodeus is out there, 763 00:35:01,738 --> 00:35:03,128 he gains in strength. 764 00:35:03,136 --> 00:35:06,266 Fortunately, we have something he needs. 765 00:35:06,261 --> 00:35:08,331 When Merlin first captured Asmodeus, 766 00:35:08,328 --> 00:35:11,468 he took some of his power as a precaution 767 00:35:11,463 --> 00:35:14,063 and contained it within a gem stone 768 00:35:14,059 --> 00:35:16,529 which Merlin then hid inside the book. 769 00:35:16,525 --> 00:35:18,855 sort of a hide-in-plain sight thing. 770 00:35:18,851 --> 00:35:21,391 So as long as I have the gem stone, 771 00:35:21,387 --> 00:35:24,057 Asmodeus will not be fully powerful 772 00:35:24,052 --> 00:35:25,482 and I can defeat him. 773 00:35:27,786 --> 00:35:28,986 There's no... Where's the gem... 774 00:35:28,985 --> 00:35:30,715 there's no gemstone. 775 00:35:30,712 --> 00:35:33,782 This gemstone, um, was it... 776 00:35:33,777 --> 00:35:38,047 kinda small, sort of a reddish color? 777 00:35:38,040 --> 00:35:40,310 - Oh, Jeff, no. - Look, I didn't know. 778 00:35:40,306 --> 00:35:41,706 It was just sitting there inside the book. 779 00:35:41,714 --> 00:35:42,844 What did you do with it? 780 00:35:42,842 --> 00:35:44,772 You know, I... 781 00:35:44,769 --> 00:35:47,839 - I s... - Sorry, you did what? 782 00:35:47,834 --> 00:35:51,444 - I sort of gave it to my mom. - You gave it to your mom. 783 00:35:51,438 --> 00:35:53,438 Look, it was her birthday, and it sort of looked 784 00:35:53,435 --> 00:35:55,235 like a cubic zirconia, so I figured, why not? 785 00:35:55,232 --> 00:35:56,702 So I just gave it to her and then... 786 00:35:56,700 --> 00:35:58,370 I just don't wanna piss her off. I mean, you know my mom. 787 00:35:58,367 --> 00:36:00,367 She can be a bit of a Ballbuster, so... 788 00:36:00,364 --> 00:36:03,764 Listen to me, Jeff. Asmodeus will be looking for that gemstone, 789 00:36:03,759 --> 00:36:05,029 so if it is with your mother... 790 00:36:05,026 --> 00:36:06,226 That's where Asmodeus is heading. 791 00:36:06,225 --> 00:36:08,695 And she and your friends are in grave danger. 792 00:36:08,691 --> 00:36:09,891 What do we do? 793 00:36:09,889 --> 00:36:12,029 We take the battle to him. 794 00:36:18,884 --> 00:36:21,154 Now, when we get inside, stay close 795 00:36:21,150 --> 00:36:22,680 be prepared for anything. 796 00:36:22,688 --> 00:36:25,218 - I'm scared. - You should be. 797 00:36:35,947 --> 00:36:38,877 Mom? Schmidt? 798 00:36:38,872 --> 00:36:42,072 - Asmodeus? - What are you... 799 00:36:42,077 --> 00:36:44,677 - You don't call for the Prince of Hell. - Right. 800 00:36:54,966 --> 00:36:57,296 Back, foul beast! Get the gemstone. 801 00:36:57,292 --> 00:36:59,432 She'll be safe without the gemstone. 802 00:36:59,429 --> 00:37:01,359 Hurry! Hurry! 803 00:37:01,356 --> 00:37:03,496 - Mom, are you okay? - What's going on? 804 00:37:03,492 --> 00:37:05,292 What's wrong with that man's face? 805 00:37:05,289 --> 00:37:06,419 Mom, I need the gemstone. 806 00:37:06,428 --> 00:37:08,028 No, tell him to get his own. 807 00:37:08,025 --> 00:37:10,025 Mom, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. 808 00:37:10,022 --> 00:37:12,152 Got it! 809 00:37:12,158 --> 00:37:13,618 Time to go! 810 00:37:13,616 --> 00:37:16,456 Bye, Mom! 811 00:37:20,615 --> 00:37:21,885 Come. Come. Come. 812 00:37:21,883 --> 00:37:23,683 We'll lure him back to the Library, 813 00:37:23,680 --> 00:37:25,880 trap him there. 814 00:37:28,272 --> 00:37:29,212 Damn it. 815 00:37:29,211 --> 00:37:30,211 Oh! To the basement. 816 00:37:30,209 --> 00:37:31,779 Go. Go. Go! 817 00:37:33,744 --> 00:37:36,404 Oh, my God, my friends. 818 00:37:36,409 --> 00:37:38,809 Oh, my God, this is all my fault. 819 00:37:38,805 --> 00:37:39,805 I did this. 820 00:37:39,804 --> 00:37:41,004 God, I'm such a schmuck. 821 00:37:41,002 --> 00:37:43,802 We don't have time for this. He will find us. 822 00:37:43,797 --> 00:37:46,337 What if we just give him back the gemstone, apologize, be like, 823 00:37:46,333 --> 00:37:48,063 "Asmodeus, we're really sorry that we took your gemstone"? 824 00:37:48,061 --> 00:37:51,071 You wanted to be a Knight of Camelot. Now is your chance. 825 00:37:51,066 --> 00:37:52,266 Fight. 826 00:37:52,264 --> 00:37:53,934 - I'm scared. - Well... 827 00:37:56,197 --> 00:37:58,757 Oh, God! No, no, no, no! 828 00:38:24,781 --> 00:38:26,881 Jeff! Get out here and fight! 829 00:38:38,100 --> 00:38:39,170 Hey, zombie face! 830 00:38:40,237 --> 00:38:41,837 You want this? 831 00:38:43,032 --> 00:38:47,102 You shall not pass! 832 00:38:48,893 --> 00:38:50,763 Okay. No, I'm just kidding. You can have it. 833 00:38:50,760 --> 00:38:51,830 You can have it. I don't want it. 834 00:38:51,828 --> 00:38:53,228 Take it, please. Just take it. 835 00:38:53,226 --> 00:38:54,826 Take it. I don't want it. 836 00:39:13,343 --> 00:39:14,713 Well done. 837 00:39:17,077 --> 00:39:18,807 You fought well. 838 00:39:18,814 --> 00:39:23,414 Yeah. Well, it's easy when you're Galahad the brave knight. 839 00:39:23,407 --> 00:39:24,677 Take a look in the mirror. 840 00:39:26,472 --> 00:39:29,872 I did this? 841 00:39:29,867 --> 00:39:30,937 As myself? 842 00:39:30,935 --> 00:39:32,135 Like a true knight. 843 00:39:32,133 --> 00:39:35,733 We switched back when we came through the magic door. 844 00:39:37,934 --> 00:39:39,334 Oh, I think I'm gonna puke. 845 00:39:39,331 --> 00:39:41,861 Oh. 846 00:39:43,395 --> 00:39:44,665 Jeff, is that really you? 847 00:39:44,663 --> 00:39:46,733 - Dude! - Hey, what's up, guys? 848 00:39:46,729 --> 00:39:48,589 Dude! 849 00:39:51,452 --> 00:39:52,652 Oh, my God, I have so many stories. 850 00:39:52,660 --> 00:39:54,460 It was amazing. We got knighted. 851 00:39:55,925 --> 00:39:56,825 I wasn't even scared. 852 00:39:58,650 --> 00:39:59,920 I found Poseidon's Trident. 853 00:39:59,918 --> 00:40:01,718 Jeff was roasting marshmallows with it. 854 00:40:01,715 --> 00:40:04,055 Still better than what he was doing with the Shroud Of Turin. 855 00:40:04,052 --> 00:40:06,382 Good Lord, how much damage can one man cause? 856 00:40:06,378 --> 00:40:08,378 We're just happy to have you back. 857 00:40:08,385 --> 00:40:11,715 What about you, mate? You still haven't told us what it was like. 858 00:40:11,709 --> 00:40:13,509 Yeah, it must've been awful, huh, 859 00:40:13,506 --> 00:40:15,776 hanging out with the common folk? 860 00:40:15,773 --> 00:40:20,113 Actually, you know, people aren't bad if you give 'em half a chance. 861 00:40:22,302 --> 00:40:24,042 They can be quite delightful. 862 00:40:24,039 --> 00:40:25,939 I have an appointment I have to get to. 863 00:40:27,104 --> 00:40:28,964 I think I'll drive. 864 00:40:31,427 --> 00:40:34,897 Did he just say people could be delightful? 865 00:40:34,902 --> 00:40:36,432 Wonders never cease. 866 00:40:40,093 --> 00:40:42,623 So that mind flayer? He, like, melted his brain. 867 00:40:42,629 --> 00:40:43,759 - Yeah, my favorite. - That was so good. 868 00:40:43,758 --> 00:40:44,758 I just replay that over and over. 869 00:40:44,756 --> 00:40:47,626 - Hey, Jenkins! - Jenkins! 870 00:40:47,621 --> 00:40:49,221 What's up, dude? You're just in time. 871 00:40:49,219 --> 00:40:51,419 We're just about to fight the acid-spewing black dragon. 872 00:40:51,415 --> 00:40:54,755 First of all, black dragons breathe fire. They do not spew acid. 873 00:40:54,750 --> 00:40:57,550 - He's so good. - And I brought your mom 874 00:40:57,545 --> 00:40:58,885 a nice big bag of Werther's Originals. 875 00:40:58,883 --> 00:41:00,283 - Aww, thanks. - And you know what? 876 00:41:00,281 --> 00:41:02,211 If I'm gonna continue playing with you guys, 877 00:41:02,218 --> 00:41:04,218 I need to be Dungeon Master. 878 00:41:04,215 --> 00:41:05,945 - Agreed. - What? No. 879 00:41:05,942 --> 00:41:07,742 - Dude, come on. - I'm moving. I'm moving. 880 00:41:07,739 --> 00:41:10,609 Dude, dude, I can't have you playing this game 881 00:41:10,604 --> 00:41:12,804 with all of these inaccuracies. 882 00:41:12,811 --> 00:41:15,611 Fine, but my character gets to have the ring of fire resistance. 883 00:41:15,606 --> 00:41:17,076 - Yes! Happening. - Another ring? 884 00:41:17,074 --> 00:41:18,874 - Ring of fire... every time. - No. It's not a real thing. 885 00:41:18,871 --> 00:41:22,341 Shh. Okay, danger. 886 00:41:22,335 --> 00:41:25,735 The moat? It is dark. 887 00:41:25,730 --> 00:41:28,570 But you must cross it. What do you do? 888 00:41:59,089 --> 00:42:00,399 .srt Extracted, Synced and Corrected by Dan4Jem, AD.I.MMXVIII 59881

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