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1
00:00:08,942 --> 00:00:11,210
Black.
2
00:00:11,212 --> 00:00:15,414
All important movies start
with a black screen.
3
00:00:16,850 --> 00:00:18,350
And music.
4
00:00:18,352 --> 00:00:21,120
Edgy, scary music
5
00:00:21,122 --> 00:00:24,456
that would make a parent
or studio executive nervous.
6
00:00:26,659 --> 00:00:28,527
And logos.
7
00:00:28,529 --> 00:00:32,364
Really long and dramatic logos.
8
00:00:32,366 --> 00:00:34,199
Warner bros.
9
00:00:34,201 --> 00:00:36,802
Why not "Warner brothers"?
I don't know.
10
00:00:40,975 --> 00:00:43,042
DC.
11
00:00:43,044 --> 00:00:46,412
The house that Batman built.
12
00:00:46,414 --> 00:00:48,881
Yeah, what, superman?
13
00:00:48,883 --> 00:00:51,050
Come at me, bro.
14
00:00:51,052 --> 00:00:52,951
I'm your kryptonite.
15
00:00:59,526 --> 00:01:01,226
Hmm.
16
00:01:01,228 --> 00:01:04,296
Not sure what ratpac does,
but that logo is macho.
17
00:01:05,565 --> 00:01:06,965
I dig it.
18
00:01:07,734 --> 00:01:09,001
Okay.
19
00:01:09,003 --> 00:01:12,071
Get yourself ready for some...
20
00:01:12,073 --> 00:01:14,006
Reading.
21
00:01:14,008 --> 00:01:16,909
"If you want to make the world
a better place..."
22
00:01:16,911 --> 00:01:20,179
"...take a look at yourself
and make a change."
23
00:01:20,181 --> 00:01:21,513
"Hooo."
24
00:01:22,282 --> 00:01:23,348
No. I said that.
25
00:01:24,584 --> 00:01:26,752
Batman is very wise.
26
00:01:26,754 --> 00:01:29,188
I also have huge pecs
and a nine-pack.
27
00:01:31,357 --> 00:01:33,425
Yeah, I've got an extra ab.
28
00:01:33,427 --> 00:01:34,660
Now, let's start the movie.
29
00:01:44,771 --> 00:01:46,238
Gotham tower,
30
00:01:46,240 --> 00:01:49,208
this is mcguffin airlines,
flight 1138.
31
00:01:49,210 --> 00:01:51,977
We are transporting
11 million sticks of dynamite,
32
00:01:51,979 --> 00:01:53,979
17,000 pounds of c-4,
33
00:01:53,981 --> 00:01:56,815
about 150 cute little
classic bomb-type bombs,
34
00:01:56,817 --> 00:01:58,450
and two best friends!
35
00:01:58,452 --> 00:02:00,319
And request permission
to fly over
36
00:02:00,321 --> 00:02:02,054
the most crime-ridden city
in the world.
37
00:02:02,056 --> 00:02:03,455
Over.
38
00:02:03,457 --> 00:02:04,556
I'm just looking at
all the guys' faces
39
00:02:04,558 --> 00:02:05,724
here in the control tower.
40
00:02:05,726 --> 00:02:06,825
I'm good.
Sounds good to me.
41
00:02:06,827 --> 00:02:08,160
Do it!
Yeah, as long as
42
00:02:08,162 --> 00:02:09,561
they're best friends.
Thumbs up!
43
00:02:09,563 --> 00:02:10,883
Yep, I think
we're cool with that.
44
00:02:31,417 --> 00:02:32,584
Gentlemen,
45
00:02:32,586 --> 00:02:36,922
seal breach in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1!
46
00:02:38,758 --> 00:02:39,958
What was that?
47
00:02:39,960 --> 00:02:41,160
One of us should check it out.
48
00:02:41,162 --> 00:02:43,028
Okay.
Scissors, paper, rock...
49
00:02:43,030 --> 00:02:44,163
Paper.
Scissors.
50
00:02:44,165 --> 00:02:45,597
Ha! You
always do paper.
51
00:02:45,599 --> 00:02:47,900
I'm a loser at home
and a loser at work.
52
00:02:50,370 --> 00:02:51,436
Holy cow!
53
00:02:56,177 --> 00:02:58,177
Captain Dale,
is everything okay?
54
00:02:58,179 --> 00:03:02,014
I am afraid
captain Dale had to bail.
55
00:03:02,016 --> 00:03:04,049
I'm your new co-pilot.
56
00:03:04,051 --> 00:03:06,351
And I always come to work
57
00:03:06,353 --> 00:03:08,120
with a smile!
58
00:03:13,026 --> 00:03:15,060
You should be terrified. Why?
59
00:03:15,062 --> 00:03:18,397
Because I will be
taking over the city.
60
00:03:18,399 --> 00:03:19,631
Mmm...
61
00:03:19,633 --> 00:03:21,533
What?
Batman will stop you.
62
00:03:21,535 --> 00:03:22,968
He always stops you.
63
00:03:22,970 --> 00:03:24,369
No, he doesn't.
64
00:03:24,371 --> 00:03:25,971
What about that time
with the two boats?
65
00:03:25,973 --> 00:03:27,873
This is better
than the two boats.
66
00:03:27,875 --> 00:03:29,041
Mmm...
67
00:03:29,043 --> 00:03:32,144
Well, tonight
is gonna be different!
68
00:03:32,146 --> 00:03:35,047
Tonight is my greatest plan yet.
69
00:03:35,049 --> 00:03:37,816
And trust me, Batman's
never gonna see it coming.
70
00:03:37,818 --> 00:03:38,984
Like that time with the parade
71
00:03:38,986 --> 00:03:40,219
and the prince music?
72
00:03:40,221 --> 00:03:41,520
Hey, quiet!
73
00:03:41,522 --> 00:03:43,155
Good night, Steve.
Take it easy, Jeff.
74
00:03:44,257 --> 00:03:46,158
Man, I really like that guy.
75
00:03:46,160 --> 00:03:48,260
I sure hope
nothing bad happens to him.
76
00:03:53,733 --> 00:03:55,067
What the...
77
00:03:55,069 --> 00:03:56,568
Your city is under attack
78
00:03:56,570 --> 00:03:59,104
by Gotham's
greatest criminal minds.
79
00:03:59,106 --> 00:04:00,672
Including
80
00:04:00,674 --> 00:04:02,641
the riddler...
81
00:04:03,276 --> 00:04:04,509
scarecrow...
82
00:04:04,511 --> 00:04:06,278
Pizza delivery.
83
00:04:07,781 --> 00:04:09,681
Bane.
Hello.
84
00:04:09,683 --> 00:04:10,849
Two-face!
85
00:04:10,851 --> 00:04:12,011
We need that door open, baby!
86
00:04:12,919 --> 00:04:14,219
Catwoman.
87
00:04:14,221 --> 00:04:15,787
Meow, meow.
You're in! Meow, meow.
88
00:04:15,789 --> 00:04:16,869
I'm jumping out of the way!
89
00:04:18,425 --> 00:04:20,626
And let's not forget, clayface.
90
00:04:23,563 --> 00:04:24,696
Poison Ivy.
91
00:04:25,932 --> 00:04:27,432
- Freeze!
- No!
92
00:04:27,434 --> 00:04:28,467
You freeze!
93
00:04:28,469 --> 00:04:30,102
Mr. freeze!
94
00:04:30,104 --> 00:04:32,938
Penguin, crazy quilt, eraser.
95
00:04:32,940 --> 00:04:35,440
Polka-dot man,
mime, tarantula.
96
00:04:35,442 --> 00:04:37,476
King tut, orca, killer moth,
97
00:04:37,478 --> 00:04:39,378
march Harriet, zodiac master,
gentleman ghost.
98
00:04:39,380 --> 00:04:41,280
Clock king,
calendar man, kite-man,
99
00:04:41,282 --> 00:04:43,849
catman, zebra-man,
and the condiment king.
100
00:04:45,785 --> 00:04:47,552
Okay, are you making
some of those up?
101
00:04:47,554 --> 00:04:49,154
Nope, they're all real.
102
00:04:49,156 --> 00:04:50,689
Probably worth a Google.
103
00:04:52,959 --> 00:04:54,826
Hey, watch it!
Commissioner Gordon!
104
00:04:54,828 --> 00:04:55,994
What is it, O'Hara?
105
00:04:55,996 --> 00:04:57,829
We just got a report!
106
00:04:57,831 --> 00:04:59,798
All the z-grade villains have
broken into the energy plant!
107
00:04:59,800 --> 00:05:00,966
What are we gonna do, sir?
108
00:05:00,968 --> 00:05:02,267
The only thing we ever do.
109
00:05:02,269 --> 00:05:03,969
Flip the switch
to the bat-signal!
110
00:05:03,971 --> 00:05:05,737
Flip!
111
00:05:05,739 --> 00:05:07,072
Commissioner, are you there?
112
00:05:07,074 --> 00:05:08,440
The bat-signal,
she's been egged!
113
00:05:08,442 --> 00:05:09,908
It's egghead, sir.
114
00:05:09,910 --> 00:05:11,643
I'm well aware of his work.
115
00:05:11,645 --> 00:05:12,744
Dear gosh.
116
00:05:12,746 --> 00:05:13,979
You've destroyed
the bat-signal.
117
00:05:13,981 --> 00:05:15,681
You have thought of everything.
118
00:05:15,683 --> 00:05:17,316
Yeah, I know!
119
00:05:17,318 --> 00:05:19,084
And when I take over
Gotham city...
120
00:05:19,086 --> 00:05:21,353
Opening reactor core doors.
121
00:05:21,355 --> 00:05:23,488
Batman will grovel at the feet
122
00:05:23,490 --> 00:05:25,324
of his greatest enemy!
123
00:05:26,359 --> 00:05:28,593
Me! The joker!
124
00:05:30,531 --> 00:05:32,164
Joker, do you read me?
125
00:05:32,166 --> 00:05:33,498
10-4, girl buddy.
126
00:05:33,500 --> 00:05:34,933
We're ready for you, sugar plum.
127
00:05:34,935 --> 00:05:37,402
Well, then,
let's raise the roof!
128
00:05:38,171 --> 00:05:39,671
Fire in the hole!
129
00:05:47,548 --> 00:05:49,181
O'Hara, have you tried
the bat-phone?
130
00:05:49,183 --> 00:05:51,616
Yes, but all I'm getting
is this hold music.
131
00:05:53,520 --> 00:05:54,586
I love it.
132
00:05:58,158 --> 00:06:00,025
I want snipers trained on
that building! You bet!
133
00:06:00,027 --> 00:06:02,060
I want water and air support, yesterday!
Ahoy, sir!
134
00:06:02,062 --> 00:06:03,729
And I need SWAT here now!
135
00:06:03,731 --> 00:06:04,896
Phone call for
commissioner Gordon.
136
00:06:04,898 --> 00:06:06,131
Hello? Batman?
137
00:06:06,133 --> 00:06:08,700
Hi, Jimmy! It's the jokes.
Oop!
138
00:06:08,702 --> 00:06:10,535
Nobody calls you that.
139
00:06:10,537 --> 00:06:12,304
Yes, people do call me that.
140
00:06:12,306 --> 00:06:13,472
Okay, listen up.
141
00:06:13,474 --> 00:06:14,873
Go, go, go!
142
00:06:14,875 --> 00:06:16,208
At this very moment,
143
00:06:16,210 --> 00:06:18,710
an unnecessarily
complicated bomb
144
00:06:18,712 --> 00:06:20,178
is being attached
145
00:06:20,180 --> 00:06:22,914
to the inside of
the main energy core.
146
00:06:22,916 --> 00:06:25,250
If the mayor isn't here
in five minutes
147
00:06:25,252 --> 00:06:26,818
to negotiate
the city's surrender,
148
00:06:26,820 --> 00:06:30,655
then I shall destroy
Gotham city.
149
00:06:30,657 --> 00:06:32,257
I did something!
150
00:06:32,259 --> 00:06:33,725
Doctor, that sounds frightening
151
00:06:33,727 --> 00:06:34,926
and overly complicated.
152
00:06:34,928 --> 00:06:36,228
Talk us through it.
153
00:06:36,230 --> 00:06:37,729
Well, I don't wanna scare
154
00:06:37,731 --> 00:06:39,765
any small children
who may be listening,
155
00:06:39,767 --> 00:06:41,900
but it's a little-known fact
that Gotham city
156
00:06:41,902 --> 00:06:45,270
is built on a bunch of
flimsy plates stuck together.
157
00:06:45,272 --> 00:06:47,572
There's literally
nothing beneath us,
158
00:06:47,574 --> 00:06:51,243
except an infinite abyss that
smells like dirty underwear.
159
00:06:51,245 --> 00:06:53,278
If joker's bomb were to go off,
160
00:06:53,280 --> 00:06:55,280
these plates would break apart,
161
00:06:55,282 --> 00:06:57,115
plunging every Gotham citizen
162
00:06:57,117 --> 00:06:59,851
into the eternal abyss forever.
163
00:06:59,853 --> 00:07:01,753
And you wouldn't want that,
now would you?
164
00:07:01,755 --> 00:07:04,689
Now get me the mayor!
Joker out!
165
00:07:04,691 --> 00:07:07,526
Madam mayor,
I cannot ask you to do this!
166
00:07:07,528 --> 00:07:09,194
Jim, did you find Batman?
167
00:07:09,196 --> 00:07:10,262
No, ma'am.
168
00:07:10,264 --> 00:07:11,930
Then we have no choice.
169
00:07:11,932 --> 00:07:13,965
The joker has the upper hand.
170
00:07:13,967 --> 00:07:16,435
We have to surrender
Gotham city.
171
00:07:16,437 --> 00:07:17,869
Oh, no.
172
00:07:17,871 --> 00:07:20,539
I'm sorry!
173
00:07:20,541 --> 00:07:22,441
Flying the mayor
package in right now.
174
00:07:22,443 --> 00:07:24,810
SWAT team,
get your stun guns ready!
175
00:07:24,812 --> 00:07:26,478
- Non-lethal.
- Yeah!
176
00:07:26,480 --> 00:07:28,547
Lowering
mayor package through hole.
177
00:07:29,615 --> 00:07:31,283
Madam mayor!
178
00:07:31,285 --> 00:07:33,118
Thanks for dropping by.
179
00:07:33,120 --> 00:07:36,288
I've only got one thing
to say to you, joker.
180
00:07:36,290 --> 00:07:38,290
Well, you better make it fast.
181
00:07:38,292 --> 00:07:39,458
Do you like to gamble?
182
00:07:39,460 --> 00:07:40,725
Oh, I certainly do.
183
00:07:40,727 --> 00:07:42,627
Do you ever play roulette?
184
00:07:42,629 --> 00:07:44,062
On occasion.
185
00:07:44,064 --> 00:07:45,664
Well, let me give you
a word of advice.
186
00:07:45,666 --> 00:07:46,832
I'm all ears.
187
00:07:46,834 --> 00:07:48,233
When playing roulette...
188
00:07:48,235 --> 00:07:49,367
Yes?
189
00:07:50,136 --> 00:07:52,237
Always bet on black.
190
00:07:52,239 --> 00:07:53,939
Batman?
191
00:07:53,941 --> 00:07:55,974
What are you doing? You're
completely outnumbered here!
192
00:07:55,976 --> 00:07:57,175
Are you nuts?
193
00:07:57,177 --> 00:07:58,977
You wanna get nuts?
Come on!
194
00:07:58,979 --> 00:08:01,246
Let's get nuts!
195
00:08:01,248 --> 00:08:02,647
'Cause I just wrote a song
196
00:08:02,649 --> 00:08:04,349
about how I'm gonna
kick all your butts!
197
00:08:04,351 --> 00:08:06,685
Stop him before
he starts singing!
198
00:08:18,999 --> 00:08:20,665
Computer, overcompensate.
199
00:08:21,935 --> 00:08:23,201
I'm on my way, sir.
200
00:08:42,823 --> 00:08:44,289
Thank you.
201
00:08:53,233 --> 00:08:54,799
Get it together, guys!
202
00:08:54,801 --> 00:08:56,801
You're making me look bad
in front of Batman!
203
00:08:56,803 --> 00:08:58,570
'Puter, where's the bomb?
204
00:08:58,572 --> 00:09:00,939
The bomb is located at
the base of the energy core.
205
00:09:01,874 --> 00:09:03,475
What the...
206
00:09:14,888 --> 00:09:17,389
Kiss me, Batman.
207
00:09:22,262 --> 00:09:23,562
'Puter.
208
00:09:33,340 --> 00:09:36,441
How is he beating
all of you again?
209
00:09:36,443 --> 00:09:38,176
Because...
210
00:09:40,914 --> 00:09:42,414
It's gonna blow!
211
00:09:48,287 --> 00:09:49,688
Hi, Batman!
212
00:09:49,690 --> 00:09:52,257
So weird
to keep running into you.
213
00:09:58,265 --> 00:10:00,265
Looks like your plan failed.
214
00:10:00,267 --> 00:10:02,133
Well, it's only a matter of time
215
00:10:02,135 --> 00:10:04,202
before I take over Gotham city.
216
00:10:09,041 --> 00:10:12,143
When has that ever happened?
Computer!
217
00:10:12,145 --> 00:10:13,445
Calculating.
218
00:10:13,447 --> 00:10:15,280
Never.
219
00:10:15,282 --> 00:10:16,715
You know why?
220
00:10:16,717 --> 00:10:18,717
Because I'm always
one step ahead of you.
221
00:10:18,719 --> 00:10:20,385
And I always get away!
222
00:10:22,455 --> 00:10:24,022
Not this time.
223
00:10:26,058 --> 00:10:28,293
'Cause this time
224
00:10:28,295 --> 00:10:29,794
I got you.
225
00:10:29,796 --> 00:10:31,062
Oh, yeah?
226
00:10:31,064 --> 00:10:33,632
Well, there's only one problem.
227
00:10:33,634 --> 00:10:35,567
Who's gonna defuse the bomb?
228
00:10:35,569 --> 00:10:37,402
It's gotta be
one or the other, Batman.
229
00:10:37,404 --> 00:10:41,840
Save the city,
or catch your greatest enemy.
230
00:10:41,842 --> 00:10:43,108
You can't do both.
231
00:10:43,110 --> 00:10:44,175
I'm sorry,
what did you just say?
232
00:10:44,177 --> 00:10:45,343
You can't do both, I said.
233
00:10:45,345 --> 00:10:46,845
No, I mean the other thing.
234
00:10:46,847 --> 00:10:48,747
Save the city,
or catch your greatest enemy.
235
00:10:48,749 --> 00:10:50,148
You think
you're my greatest enemy?
236
00:10:50,150 --> 00:10:52,651
Yes! You're obsessed with me!
237
00:10:52,653 --> 00:10:53,818
No, I'm not.
238
00:10:53,820 --> 00:10:55,020
Yes, you are.
No, I'm not.
239
00:10:55,022 --> 00:10:56,855
Yes, you are!
240
00:10:56,857 --> 00:10:58,490
Who else drives you to one-up
them the way that I do?
241
00:10:58,492 --> 00:10:59,824
Bane.
No, he doesn't!
242
00:10:59,826 --> 00:11:00,859
Superman.
243
00:11:00,861 --> 00:11:02,527
Superman's not a bad guy!
244
00:11:02,529 --> 00:11:05,196
Then I'd say that I don't
currently have a bad guy.
245
00:11:05,198 --> 00:11:07,666
I am fighting
a few different people.
246
00:11:07,668 --> 00:11:08,767
What?
247
00:11:08,769 --> 00:11:10,435
I like to fight around.
248
00:11:10,437 --> 00:11:12,671
Okay, look, I'm fine with you
fighting other people
249
00:11:12,673 --> 00:11:17,008
if you wanna do that,
but what we have is special.
250
00:11:17,010 --> 00:11:18,476
So, when people ask you
251
00:11:18,478 --> 00:11:20,178
"who's your number one
bad guy?" You say...
252
00:11:20,180 --> 00:11:21,546
Superman.
253
00:11:21,548 --> 00:11:23,281
Are you seriously saying
that there is
254
00:11:23,283 --> 00:11:26,017
nothing, nothing special
about our relationship?
255
00:11:26,552 --> 00:11:27,852
Whoa.
256
00:11:27,854 --> 00:11:30,455
Let me tell you something,
j-bird.
257
00:11:30,457 --> 00:11:33,291
Batman doesn't do 'ships.
258
00:11:33,293 --> 00:11:34,359
What?
259
00:11:34,361 --> 00:11:36,761
As in "relationships."
260
00:11:37,530 --> 00:11:40,365
There is no "us."
261
00:11:40,367 --> 00:11:43,635
Batman and joker
are not a thing.
262
00:11:44,704 --> 00:11:46,371
I don't need you.
263
00:11:47,239 --> 00:11:49,274
I don't need anyone.
264
00:11:50,876 --> 00:11:53,945
You mean nothing to me.
265
00:11:58,050 --> 00:11:59,951
No one does.
266
00:12:27,179 --> 00:12:28,279
Hurray! Batman!
267
00:12:29,416 --> 00:12:30,749
You did it!
268
00:12:30,751 --> 00:12:32,083
You're welcome.
269
00:12:32,085 --> 00:12:33,985
Thank you, Batman.
Oh, my pleasure.
270
00:12:35,454 --> 00:12:37,255
Batman, we love you!
271
00:12:37,257 --> 00:12:40,024
Thank you! I'm blushing
super hard under the mask.
272
00:12:40,026 --> 00:12:42,761
- Grazie, Batman!
- Prego.
273
00:12:42,763 --> 00:12:44,429
You're the best, Batman!
Oh, I'm humble.
274
00:12:44,431 --> 00:12:45,764
Thanks, Batman!
275
00:12:45,766 --> 00:12:47,098
I'm super modest about it.
Thank you.
276
00:12:47,100 --> 00:12:48,266
Batman, you're the greatest!
277
00:12:48,268 --> 00:12:49,868
Oh, pray hands, pray hands.
278
00:12:49,870 --> 00:12:51,102
Thanks for saving the city!
279
00:12:51,104 --> 00:12:52,604
You're welcome.
280
00:12:52,606 --> 00:12:54,272
Batman, I love you
more than my kids!
281
00:12:54,274 --> 00:12:55,340
So do I, guy!
282
00:13:01,614 --> 00:13:03,381
You're our hero, Batman!
283
00:13:03,383 --> 00:13:05,984
I love my life.
284
00:13:05,986 --> 00:13:07,118
Computer.
285
00:13:07,120 --> 00:13:08,553
Go ahead.
286
00:13:08,555 --> 00:13:10,221
Are we near the orphanage? Yes.
287
00:13:10,223 --> 00:13:13,491
Great. Let's turn those frowns
upside down.
288
00:13:17,296 --> 00:13:18,730
That sounds like the Batmobile.
289
00:13:21,333 --> 00:13:23,001
No way!
290
00:13:23,003 --> 00:13:24,335
Hey, orphans!
Look who's here!
291
00:13:24,337 --> 00:13:26,304
It's Batman!
292
00:13:26,306 --> 00:13:29,240
Hey, kids. Who wants
a shot from the merch gun?
293
00:13:29,242 --> 00:13:31,176
I do, I do, I do!
Great!
294
00:13:31,178 --> 00:13:32,844
Kaboom!
I got a lunchbox!
295
00:13:32,846 --> 00:13:34,913
Kaboom!
I got a sippy cup!
296
00:13:34,915 --> 00:13:36,347
Kaboom!
297
00:13:36,349 --> 00:13:37,916
I got a batarang!
298
00:13:37,918 --> 00:13:39,818
And the rest of you
get bat bucks.
299
00:13:39,820 --> 00:13:41,352
Kaboom!
300
00:13:41,354 --> 00:13:43,488
Remember, kids,
if you want to be like Batman,
301
00:13:43,490 --> 00:13:45,323
take care of your abs.
Batman out!
302
00:13:45,325 --> 00:13:48,059
Batman! Batman! Batman!
303
00:13:54,867 --> 00:13:56,935
Thanks, Batman.
You're my hero!
304
00:14:02,174 --> 00:14:03,241
Whoo!
305
00:14:18,891 --> 00:14:20,225
What is the password?
306
00:14:20,227 --> 00:14:21,860
Iron man sucks.
307
00:14:21,862 --> 00:14:22,961
Thank you.
308
00:14:24,396 --> 00:14:27,031
It must be great to be Batman.
309
00:14:27,033 --> 00:14:29,534
I can only imagine
he is going home right now
310
00:14:29,536 --> 00:14:31,135
to party the night away,
311
00:14:31,137 --> 00:14:32,871
surrounded by scores of friends
312
00:14:32,873 --> 00:14:34,772
and lady tennis players.
313
00:14:43,983 --> 00:14:45,984
Hey, computer.
314
00:14:45,986 --> 00:14:47,151
I'm home.
315
00:14:51,390 --> 00:14:52,857
Welcome home, sir.
316
00:14:52,859 --> 00:14:55,660
Initializing batcave
operating system.
317
00:14:57,997 --> 00:14:59,063
Hey, 'puter.
318
00:15:00,399 --> 00:15:03,501
What's up, Batman?
319
00:15:03,503 --> 00:15:05,270
Put this bomb in the museum.
320
00:15:05,272 --> 00:15:06,471
Certainly, sir.
321
00:15:07,239 --> 00:15:08,406
Thank you.
322
00:15:08,408 --> 00:15:09,674
No worries.
323
00:15:09,676 --> 00:15:11,776
Anything exciting happen
when I was gone?
324
00:15:11,778 --> 00:15:13,411
You have four pieces of mail.
325
00:15:13,413 --> 00:15:14,913
Great, what'd I get?
326
00:15:14,915 --> 00:15:16,915
You have this week's pennysaver,
327
00:15:16,917 --> 00:15:20,118
two bills, and a coupon
for bed bath and beyond.
328
00:15:20,120 --> 00:15:22,120
It expires in two weeks.
329
00:15:22,122 --> 00:15:23,588
But I've heard that some stores
330
00:15:23,590 --> 00:15:25,423
will honor them
past the expiry date.
331
00:15:25,425 --> 00:15:26,791
Copy that.
332
00:15:26,793 --> 00:15:28,927
Also, Alfred
is on the 17th floor,
333
00:15:28,929 --> 00:15:30,762
grouting tiles
in the second bathroom
334
00:15:30,764 --> 00:15:33,031
of the fifth master bedroom.
335
00:15:33,033 --> 00:15:35,099
Do you want me to tell Alfred
you're home?
336
00:15:35,101 --> 00:15:38,036
No, that's cool, computer.
Thanks for the update.
337
00:15:38,038 --> 00:15:39,938
I should probably
have some dinner.
338
00:15:39,940 --> 00:15:42,440
Alfred left your lobster
thermidor in the fridge.
339
00:15:42,442 --> 00:15:43,975
Oh, that's my favorite.
340
00:15:43,977 --> 00:15:45,843
I can't wait.
341
00:16:03,629 --> 00:16:07,031
Oh, not 20 minutes. Stupid.
342
00:17:15,534 --> 00:17:17,201
Oh, wait.
343
00:17:17,203 --> 00:17:19,704
There, which one is, uh...
344
00:17:20,539 --> 00:17:21,672
Okay.
345
00:17:30,049 --> 00:17:33,017
You complete me.
346
00:17:34,854 --> 00:17:37,555
Shut up. You had me at hello.
347
00:17:39,225 --> 00:17:40,458
Love it!
348
00:18:18,931 --> 00:18:20,331
Hey, mom.
349
00:18:21,266 --> 00:18:22,834
Hey, dad.
350
00:18:24,203 --> 00:18:25,703
I, uh...
351
00:18:25,705 --> 00:18:27,672
I saved the city again today.
352
00:18:31,443 --> 00:18:33,311
I wish you could have seen me.
353
00:18:34,947 --> 00:18:37,348
I think you would have been
really proud.
354
00:18:40,119 --> 00:18:41,519
There you are!
355
00:18:42,621 --> 00:18:45,389
Oh! Alfred!
I am so sorry.
356
00:18:45,391 --> 00:18:47,091
I have incredible reflexes.
357
00:18:47,093 --> 00:18:48,626
No, it's all my fault, sir.
358
00:18:48,628 --> 00:18:49,927
I should have known better
359
00:18:49,929 --> 00:18:51,295
than to sneak up on you
like that.
360
00:18:51,297 --> 00:18:52,396
Sorry, I was just
lost in thought,
361
00:18:52,398 --> 00:18:53,598
and as you know,
362
00:18:53,600 --> 00:18:55,433
when I'm in there, I'm in deep.
363
00:18:55,435 --> 00:18:58,269
Were you looking at the old
family pictures again?
364
00:18:58,271 --> 00:19:00,638
At the what?
The old family...
365
00:19:00,640 --> 00:19:02,807
Oh, yes!
I see what you mean.
366
00:19:02,809 --> 00:19:05,309
Look at that!
The old gang.
367
00:19:05,311 --> 00:19:07,378
Yeah. No, I wasn't.
368
00:19:08,480 --> 00:19:09,981
I see.
369
00:19:09,983 --> 00:19:12,116
Sir, if you don't mind
my saying,
370
00:19:12,118 --> 00:19:13,651
I'm a little concerned.
371
00:19:13,653 --> 00:19:16,654
I've seen you go through
similar phases in 2016
372
00:19:16,656 --> 00:19:19,323
and 2012 and 2008 and 2005
373
00:19:19,325 --> 00:19:22,493
and 1997 and 1995
and 1992 and 1989
374
00:19:22,495 --> 00:19:25,997
and that weird one in 1966.
375
00:19:25,999 --> 00:19:29,000
Do you want to talk about
how you're feeling right now?
376
00:19:29,002 --> 00:19:31,335
I don't talk
about feelings, Alfred.
377
00:19:31,337 --> 00:19:33,137
I don't have any,
I've never seen one.
378
00:19:33,139 --> 00:19:36,007
I'm a night-stalking,
crime-fighting vigilante,
379
00:19:36,009 --> 00:19:37,942
and a heavy metal
rapping machine.
380
00:19:37,944 --> 00:19:41,145
I don't feel anything
emotionally, except for rage.
381
00:19:41,147 --> 00:19:45,016
24/7, 365, at a million percent.
382
00:19:45,018 --> 00:19:46,617
And if you think that
there's something behind that,
383
00:19:46,619 --> 00:19:47,685
then you're crazy.
384
00:19:47,687 --> 00:19:48,819
Good night, Alfred.
385
00:19:48,821 --> 00:19:50,221
Sir, it's morning.
386
00:19:52,859 --> 00:19:55,126
Master Bruce,
you live on an island,
387
00:19:55,128 --> 00:19:57,028
figuratively and literally.
388
00:19:57,030 --> 00:19:58,529
Yeah. I love it.
389
00:19:58,531 --> 00:20:00,298
You can't spend
the rest of your life alone,
390
00:20:00,300 --> 00:20:01,966
dressed in black,
391
00:20:01,968 --> 00:20:04,001
listening to angry music,
and staying up all night.
392
00:20:04,003 --> 00:20:06,704
Yes, I can, 'cause I'm Batman.
393
00:20:06,706 --> 00:20:09,974
But don't you think it's time
394
00:20:09,976 --> 00:20:13,211
you finally faced
your greatest fear?
395
00:20:13,213 --> 00:20:14,312
Snakes?
No.
396
00:20:14,314 --> 00:20:15,379
Clowns?
No.
397
00:20:15,381 --> 00:20:16,480
Snake clowns?
398
00:20:16,482 --> 00:20:17,915
Bruce, listen.
399
00:20:19,017 --> 00:20:22,220
Your greatest fear is
400
00:20:22,222 --> 00:20:24,755
being a part of a family again.
401
00:20:34,066 --> 00:20:35,733
Nope. Now it's snake clowns,
402
00:20:35,735 --> 00:20:37,235
because you put that idea
in my head.
403
00:20:37,237 --> 00:20:38,836
Sir?
Time for push-ups!
404
00:20:38,838 --> 00:20:40,871
One, two...
We're going to 1,000.
405
00:20:40,873 --> 00:20:42,406
I'm afraid
that's not possible, sir.
406
00:20:42,408 --> 00:20:44,408
It is possible.
I'm already at 20.
407
00:20:44,410 --> 00:20:47,411
You're scheduled to go to Jim
Gordon's retirement party.
408
00:20:47,413 --> 00:20:50,581
What? No.
I don't wanna do that.
409
00:20:50,583 --> 00:20:51,682
You're going
to have a great time!
410
00:20:51,684 --> 00:20:52,883
No, no, no.
411
00:20:52,885 --> 00:20:54,218
You might meet some new people!
412
00:20:54,220 --> 00:20:55,586
No, no, no!
413
00:20:55,588 --> 00:20:57,388
You could even make
some new friends.
414
00:20:57,390 --> 00:21:00,424
No, no, no. No, no, no.
No, no, no, no, no, no, no...
415
00:21:00,426 --> 00:21:02,927
No!
416
00:21:02,929 --> 00:21:05,896
And before you go,
we can do your favorite thing.
417
00:21:05,898 --> 00:21:08,232
Tuxedo dress-up party.
418
00:21:17,443 --> 00:21:18,943
Sir, aren't you
forgetting something?
419
00:21:18,945 --> 00:21:20,044
Nope.
420
00:21:20,046 --> 00:21:21,245
Your cowl.
421
00:21:21,247 --> 00:21:22,780
My what, now?
422
00:21:22,782 --> 00:21:26,317
Your armored face disguise?
423
00:21:28,453 --> 00:21:29,520
Fine.
424
00:21:31,290 --> 00:21:33,291
Happy now?
Indubitably.
425
00:21:33,293 --> 00:21:35,626
Good.
Must be nice to be happy.
426
00:21:35,628 --> 00:21:38,062
Tonight, on Metropolis in focus,
427
00:21:38,064 --> 00:21:40,631
we have our favorite star,
superman!
428
00:21:40,633 --> 00:21:42,767
What up, Gotham!
429
00:21:44,137 --> 00:21:46,103
Superman, tell me.
How do you feel
430
00:21:46,105 --> 00:21:49,273
about your recent banishment
of Zod to the phantom zone?
431
00:21:49,275 --> 00:21:52,777
Yeah, look, pippa, it's...
It's complicated. Okay?
432
00:21:52,779 --> 00:21:54,312
Zod and I, we've had some
433
00:21:54,314 --> 00:21:57,081
pretty epic battles
over the years.
434
00:21:58,751 --> 00:22:01,652
I don't believe I would be
superman without fighting Zod.
435
00:22:01,654 --> 00:22:06,157
See? Superman gets it.
Why can't Batman?
436
00:22:06,159 --> 00:22:09,860
Check it out, guys.
I built a cd rack. Ta-da!
437
00:22:11,663 --> 00:22:14,098
And how am I supposed
to get Batman's respect
438
00:22:14,100 --> 00:22:17,168
when I'm working
with these human farts?
439
00:22:17,170 --> 00:22:19,303
Boo-boo, look at me.
440
00:22:19,305 --> 00:22:22,606
You're too good for Batman.
He needs to open his eyes
441
00:22:22,608 --> 00:22:25,176
and see what it feels like
when you're not around. Okay?
442
00:22:25,178 --> 00:22:26,777
Yeah, pippa.
I couldn't put Zod
443
00:22:26,779 --> 00:22:28,346
in a regular prison, right?
444
00:22:28,348 --> 00:22:30,514
He's Zod. Come on!
445
00:22:30,516 --> 00:22:32,183
No, he needed to go someplace
446
00:22:32,185 --> 00:22:35,052
where he could never harm
Metropolis ever again.
447
00:22:35,854 --> 00:22:37,621
The phantom zone.
448
00:22:37,623 --> 00:22:39,490
Ah, yes,
the notorious space jail
449
00:22:39,492 --> 00:22:42,026
that houses the greatest
super-villains of all time.
450
00:22:42,028 --> 00:22:44,962
They've got, like,
the sickest baddies up there.
451
00:22:44,964 --> 00:22:46,664
They got, like, this guy.
And her.
452
00:22:46,666 --> 00:22:48,199
I'll get you, my pretty!
453
00:22:48,201 --> 00:22:50,000
To say nothing about him.
454
00:22:50,002 --> 00:22:51,869
- Wingardium leviosa!
- And these guys.
455
00:22:51,871 --> 00:22:53,304
Exterminate!
456
00:22:53,306 --> 00:22:56,807
I'm starting to get an idea,
monkey face.
457
00:23:01,980 --> 00:23:03,247
Bruce, over here!
458
00:23:03,249 --> 00:23:04,715
Okay, shutterbugs.
Look alive, here we go.
459
00:23:04,717 --> 00:23:06,050
I'm gonna give you
three poses. You ready?
460
00:23:06,052 --> 00:23:07,218
Kissy face.
461
00:23:07,220 --> 00:23:08,652
Oops, I did it again.
462
00:23:08,654 --> 00:23:10,888
And the bad boys.
What you gonna do?
463
00:23:10,890 --> 00:23:13,224
I'm out of here, guys.
Thank you.
464
00:23:13,226 --> 00:23:14,658
Congresswoman.
465
00:23:14,660 --> 00:23:15,993
Mr. Wayne, good to see you.
466
00:23:15,995 --> 00:23:17,561
Senator, looking great.
Bruce.
467
00:23:21,033 --> 00:23:22,566
Bruce, any advice
for the new commissioner?
468
00:23:22,568 --> 00:23:23,901
Long as he knows
how to push the button
469
00:23:23,903 --> 00:23:25,369
for the bat-signal,
he'll be fine.
470
00:23:25,371 --> 00:23:27,004
Bruce, I don't know
how you did it.
471
00:23:27,006 --> 00:23:28,572
You can't prove it,
you didn't do it.
472
00:23:28,574 --> 00:23:30,241
Mr. Wayne, so great to
see you! Come and join us!
473
00:23:30,243 --> 00:23:31,709
Mr. prime minister.
474
00:23:31,711 --> 00:23:33,077
Did you have some work done?
475
00:23:35,046 --> 00:23:36,113
No way!
476
00:23:37,549 --> 00:23:38,916
Bruce Wayne!
477
00:23:38,918 --> 00:23:40,885
He's the greatest
orphan of all time.
478
00:23:43,856 --> 00:23:44,922
Nice to see you,
Mr. ambassador.
479
00:23:44,924 --> 00:23:46,257
Mr. Wayne!
480
00:23:46,259 --> 00:23:48,092
You want a picture?
That would be swell!
481
00:23:48,094 --> 00:23:49,894
Here we go. Party face!
482
00:23:49,896 --> 00:23:51,262
Boom. Keep it.
483
00:23:51,264 --> 00:23:52,430
Whoa! Thanks, Mr. Wayne.
484
00:23:52,432 --> 00:23:53,764
Call me Bruce, champ.
485
00:23:53,766 --> 00:23:55,366
I'm just so jazzed
to meet you, sir.
486
00:23:55,368 --> 00:23:56,934
I'm sorry, did you say "jazzed"?
487
00:23:56,936 --> 00:23:58,702
Yes!
My name's Richard Grayson,
488
00:23:58,704 --> 00:24:00,438
but all the kids
at the orphanage call me dick.
489
00:24:00,440 --> 00:24:02,239
Well, children can be cruel.
Yeah.
490
00:24:02,241 --> 00:24:03,607
Great to see you, Bruce.
Nice to see you, sir.
491
00:24:03,609 --> 00:24:04,875
So, I had a question
for you, sir.
492
00:24:04,877 --> 00:24:06,377
Okay, hit me with it.
493
00:24:06,379 --> 00:24:07,912
Do you have any advice
on how to get adopted?
494
00:24:07,914 --> 00:24:09,046
Oh, yeah.
Oh, you do?
495
00:24:09,048 --> 00:24:10,080
Mr. Wayne,
can I get an autograph?
496
00:24:10,082 --> 00:24:11,882
Sure.
497
00:24:11,884 --> 00:24:13,250
Um, all right, for example,
is teeth whitener a good idea?
498
00:24:13,252 --> 00:24:14,552
Yes. There you go, pal. Thanks!
499
00:24:14,554 --> 00:24:15,820
Really?
Oh, yeah.
500
00:24:15,822 --> 00:24:17,421
Looking good, Bruce.
Thank you so much.
501
00:24:17,423 --> 00:24:19,423
How about eyeliner
or a foreign language?
502
00:24:19,425 --> 00:24:20,958
Try both.
Bueno.
503
00:24:20,960 --> 00:24:22,726
Look, it's the new commissioner!
504
00:24:22,728 --> 00:24:24,462
Where? Oh, she's with the mayor!
Okay. Let's see.
505
00:24:24,464 --> 00:24:25,596
Here she is, everyone!
506
00:24:25,598 --> 00:24:27,298
Oh, my darling!
Hi, dad.
507
00:24:27,300 --> 00:24:28,632
You look beautiful!
508
00:24:32,971 --> 00:24:34,738
Mr. Wayne?
509
00:24:34,740 --> 00:24:37,241
Should I get experimental
surgery to make my eyes larger
510
00:24:37,243 --> 00:24:38,709
and more vulnerable-looking?
511
00:24:40,078 --> 00:24:41,479
Uh, do that.
512
00:24:50,088 --> 00:24:51,856
Uh, Mr. Wayne?
513
00:24:51,858 --> 00:24:54,658
Are you currently in the
market to adopt a child?
514
00:24:54,660 --> 00:24:56,260
Yeah.
Really?
515
00:24:56,262 --> 00:24:57,995
Oh, yeah.
Wow.
516
00:24:57,997 --> 00:24:59,830
Are you looking for more
of a base model orphan
517
00:24:59,832 --> 00:25:02,266
or one that has more
upgraded features? Yep.
518
00:25:02,268 --> 00:25:03,801
Like cooking or driftwood art?
519
00:25:03,803 --> 00:25:05,202
Gymnastic abilities?
Yep. Yep.
520
00:25:05,204 --> 00:25:06,837
Close-up street magic
a la David Blaine?
521
00:25:06,839 --> 00:25:08,839
All of it sounds great. Really?
522
00:25:08,841 --> 00:25:12,376
Because all of it
sounds like me.
523
00:25:12,378 --> 00:25:15,379
Mr. Wayne, do you think you'd
be interested in adopting me
524
00:25:15,381 --> 00:25:17,181
as your future orphan son?
525
00:25:17,183 --> 00:25:18,315
Definitely.
526
00:25:18,317 --> 00:25:19,884
Oh, this is great!
527
00:25:19,886 --> 00:25:21,552
Because all I want
is to get adopted,
528
00:25:21,554 --> 00:25:23,220
so I can finally stop being
529
00:25:25,690 --> 00:25:28,325
alone.
530
00:25:28,327 --> 00:25:29,727
We've gathered here tonight
531
00:25:29,729 --> 00:25:31,862
to mark the retirement
of Jim Gordon.
532
00:25:31,864 --> 00:25:33,697
Goodbye.
533
00:25:33,699 --> 00:25:37,968
And we wish him well on his
south African jungle safari!
534
00:25:37,970 --> 00:25:39,136
Thank you.
535
00:25:39,138 --> 00:25:41,038
Now, to introduce you
536
00:25:41,040 --> 00:25:43,173
to his exciting new replacement.
537
00:25:43,175 --> 00:25:45,843
Everyone,
meet your new commissioner!
538
00:25:47,713 --> 00:25:50,381
Meet Barbara Gordon!
539
00:25:50,383 --> 00:25:53,717
The new commissioner
of Gotham city!
540
00:25:53,719 --> 00:25:55,185
Whoa!
541
00:25:55,187 --> 00:25:58,489
She was top of her class
at Harvard for police.
542
00:25:58,491 --> 00:25:59,990
She cleaned up the streets
543
00:25:59,992 --> 00:26:02,560
of Gotham's nearby
sister city bludhaven
544
00:26:02,562 --> 00:26:04,862
using statistics
545
00:26:04,864 --> 00:26:07,064
and compassion.
546
00:26:07,066 --> 00:26:09,833
And now she's bringing
her new ideas
547
00:26:09,835 --> 00:26:13,604
and her nunchucks
to Gotham city.
548
00:26:13,606 --> 00:26:15,739
Congratulations, darling.
549
00:26:15,741 --> 00:26:17,775
Thanks, dad.
Here she is, everyone!
550
00:26:17,777 --> 00:26:19,276
Thank you! Thanks!
551
00:26:19,278 --> 00:26:20,711
Hurray!
552
00:26:20,713 --> 00:26:21,912
Ms. Gordon,
over here!
553
00:26:21,914 --> 00:26:23,614
Big smile!
Wow.
554
00:26:23,616 --> 00:26:26,350
Thank you for the oversized
key to arkham asylum.
555
00:26:26,352 --> 00:26:28,252
And, uh, what's this?
556
00:26:28,254 --> 00:26:31,755
Thank you for the switch
to the bat-signal.
557
00:26:31,757 --> 00:26:33,090
Nice.
558
00:26:34,460 --> 00:26:37,595
Dad, you've always
done a great job
559
00:26:37,597 --> 00:26:39,530
protecting Gotham city.
560
00:26:39,532 --> 00:26:41,765
Flip!
That's me.
561
00:26:41,767 --> 00:26:44,735
Thank you.
Along with Batman, of course.
562
00:26:44,737 --> 00:26:46,270
Whoo!
Let's hear it for Batman!
563
00:26:46,272 --> 00:26:48,072
Who I wish was here right now.
564
00:26:48,074 --> 00:26:49,773
Oh, I'm sure he's listening.
565
00:26:49,775 --> 00:26:51,709
I'd like to ask
all of you a question.
566
00:26:51,711 --> 00:26:53,944
Are you fed up with crime?
567
00:26:53,946 --> 00:26:55,045
Uh-huh.
We're all tired of crime.
568
00:26:55,047 --> 00:26:56,647
Yeah, we're sick of it.
569
00:26:56,649 --> 00:26:58,549
Great. Then let's talk about
real improvements
570
00:26:58,551 --> 00:27:00,784
that will end
the cycle of crime.
571
00:27:00,786 --> 00:27:02,753
I've got a four-point
pilot program
572
00:27:02,755 --> 00:27:04,288
that I'd love to share with you.
573
00:27:04,290 --> 00:27:06,090
I wanna hear all four points.
574
00:27:06,092 --> 00:27:07,291
It's called...
I am ready.
575
00:27:07,293 --> 00:27:08,425
It takes a village...
576
00:27:08,427 --> 00:27:10,060
Best opening to a title ever.
577
00:27:10,062 --> 00:27:11,629
Not a Batman.
578
00:27:12,430 --> 00:27:13,464
Waiter.
Sir?
579
00:27:13,466 --> 00:27:14,598
Can I?
Of course.
580
00:27:14,600 --> 00:27:15,966
Thank you.
My pleasure.
581
00:27:15,968 --> 00:27:17,034
Thanks so much.
582
00:27:19,270 --> 00:27:21,105
What?
Look.
583
00:27:21,107 --> 00:27:25,109
Batman's been on the job
for a very, very, very,
584
00:27:25,111 --> 00:27:27,478
very, very, very, very,
585
00:27:27,480 --> 00:27:28,646
very long time.
586
00:27:28,648 --> 00:27:30,581
He has aged phenomenally.
587
00:27:30,583 --> 00:27:34,652
However, despite all the great
work Batman has done for us,
588
00:27:34,654 --> 00:27:36,620
Gotham city is still the most
589
00:27:36,622 --> 00:27:39,590
crime-ridden city
in the world.
590
00:27:39,592 --> 00:27:40,991
She's got a great point.
Interesting.
591
00:27:40,993 --> 00:27:42,926
Historically speaking,
that is accurate.
592
00:27:42,928 --> 00:27:44,495
He hasn't captured riddler.
You know, she's right.
593
00:27:44,497 --> 00:27:45,996
He hasn't captured bane.
594
00:27:45,998 --> 00:27:48,098
Huh!
Or catwoman.
595
00:27:48,100 --> 00:27:52,136
Or two-face, or any
of Gotham's other villains!
596
00:27:52,138 --> 00:27:53,337
He's not good at his job.
597
00:27:53,339 --> 00:27:55,005
Including the joker!
598
00:27:55,007 --> 00:27:57,107
She's making a lot of sense.
599
00:27:57,109 --> 00:27:58,809
Excuse me.
I'm so sorry. Excuse me.
600
00:27:58,811 --> 00:28:00,511
We love you, Barbara!
601
00:28:00,513 --> 00:28:02,446
Yes.
Hi. Bruce Wayne.
602
00:28:02,448 --> 00:28:04,515
Billionaire, bon vivant,
gallivanter, playboy,
603
00:28:04,517 --> 00:28:06,684
Gotham's most eligible bachelor,
604
00:28:06,686 --> 00:28:07,818
like, 90 years in a row.
605
00:28:07,820 --> 00:28:09,119
That's me right there.
606
00:28:09,121 --> 00:28:10,187
I know who you are,
Mr. Wayne.
607
00:28:10,189 --> 00:28:11,789
You bet you do.
Quick quest,
608
00:28:11,791 --> 00:28:14,158
what is your problem
with Batman,
609
00:28:14,160 --> 00:28:16,660
and also, what the heck, dude?
610
00:28:16,662 --> 00:28:18,295
I'm glad you asked,
Mr. Wayne.
611
00:28:18,297 --> 00:28:20,497
I'm not a Batman hater.
612
00:28:20,499 --> 00:28:23,067
But we don't need
an unsupervised adult man
613
00:28:23,069 --> 00:28:26,136
karate-chopping poor people
in a Halloween costume.
614
00:28:26,138 --> 00:28:28,872
We need to take
what's good about Batman
615
00:28:28,874 --> 00:28:33,644
and marry it to actual laws
and proper ethics
616
00:28:33,646 --> 00:28:35,212
and accountability.
617
00:28:35,214 --> 00:28:36,647
I hate everything you just said.
618
00:28:36,649 --> 00:28:39,850
Because my dream
is for the police force
619
00:28:39,852 --> 00:28:41,719
to team up with Batman.
620
00:28:41,721 --> 00:28:43,087
Waiter.
621
00:28:43,089 --> 00:28:44,722
Wouldn't that be better?
622
00:28:44,724 --> 00:28:46,557
And I know that, together,
623
00:28:46,559 --> 00:28:48,559
the world's
greatest detective...
624
00:28:48,561 --> 00:28:50,728
and Gotham's finest
625
00:28:50,730 --> 00:28:53,030
could clean up
these crime-ridden streets.
626
00:28:55,034 --> 00:28:56,400
Forever.
627
00:28:56,402 --> 00:28:57,935
Everybody, get down!
628
00:29:00,673 --> 00:29:02,740
Grand entrance!
629
00:29:02,742 --> 00:29:05,409
Everyone! Make your way
to the exits immediately!
630
00:29:05,411 --> 00:29:06,844
Run!
631
00:29:06,846 --> 00:29:08,879
Team bane, block the exits.
632
00:29:08,881 --> 00:29:10,581
Going somewhere?
633
00:29:10,583 --> 00:29:13,250
Clayface, freeze, bring me
the new commissioner Gordon.
634
00:29:13,252 --> 00:29:15,052
We're on it.
Cool.
635
00:29:15,054 --> 00:29:17,020
And, Harley,
you know what to do.
636
00:29:17,022 --> 00:29:18,589
I sure do.
637
00:29:18,591 --> 00:29:21,925
It's time for operation
"take out the laundry."
638
00:29:21,927 --> 00:29:25,095
Butler one, this is
bat one. Do you copy?
639
00:29:25,097 --> 00:29:26,563
Go ahead, bat one.
640
00:29:26,565 --> 00:29:27,898
I need my armored
face disguise, now!
641
00:29:27,900 --> 00:29:29,399
Only if you say the magic word.
642
00:29:29,401 --> 00:29:30,534
Now!
No.
643
00:29:30,536 --> 00:29:31,735
You're fired.
644
00:29:31,737 --> 00:29:33,604
No. Sir,
we'll talk about this
645
00:29:33,606 --> 00:29:34,671
back at the batcave.
646
00:29:36,908 --> 00:29:38,208
- Hey, 'puter.
- Yes?
647
00:29:38,210 --> 00:29:40,077
Initialize masterbuild music.
648
00:29:40,079 --> 00:29:41,912
Right away.
649
00:29:41,914 --> 00:29:45,115
Collateral damage assessment
suggests the scuttler, sir.
650
00:29:45,117 --> 00:29:46,283
Good plan.
651
00:29:51,089 --> 00:29:53,390
Madam mayor, stay close to me.
652
00:29:53,392 --> 00:29:55,058
Head for the south exit.
653
00:29:55,060 --> 00:29:56,160
Now, ma'am.
654
00:29:58,063 --> 00:29:59,329
Go! Go! Go!
655
00:29:59,331 --> 00:30:00,764
Honey, let Batman
take care of it.
656
00:30:00,766 --> 00:30:02,299
Dad, I got this.
657
00:30:14,445 --> 00:30:16,113
Scuttler online.
658
00:30:16,115 --> 00:30:18,315
Chief O'Hara,
we're coming in hot!
659
00:30:18,317 --> 00:30:19,483
I'm almost there.
660
00:30:24,455 --> 00:30:27,157
Chief, get the mayor to safety.
661
00:30:27,159 --> 00:30:29,660
Computer, I've got
the joker in my sights.
662
00:30:29,662 --> 00:30:31,829
Team, I got the joker
in my sights.
663
00:30:36,334 --> 00:30:37,467
Joker!
664
00:30:37,469 --> 00:30:38,702
Joker.
665
00:30:38,704 --> 00:30:40,304
Uh, excuse me?
I was about to...
666
00:30:40,306 --> 00:30:42,005
Push the bat-signal?
Good call.
667
00:30:42,007 --> 00:30:43,440
I like your instincts.
668
00:30:43,442 --> 00:30:45,342
I've got a surprise
for you guys.
669
00:30:45,344 --> 00:30:47,477
And it's gonna make you smile.
670
00:30:47,479 --> 00:30:49,613
Uh-oh!
His smile is our grimace.
671
00:30:49,615 --> 00:30:50,681
Everybody, get down.
672
00:30:50,683 --> 00:30:51,815
I...
673
00:30:51,817 --> 00:30:52,883
Joker, no!
674
00:30:53,518 --> 00:30:54,985
Surrender.
675
00:30:54,987 --> 00:30:56,053
What?
676
00:30:57,488 --> 00:30:59,523
Uh, what did you just say?
677
00:30:59,525 --> 00:31:02,960
I said,
"I... Surrender."
678
00:31:02,962 --> 00:31:04,461
Joker, what are you doing?
679
00:31:04,463 --> 00:31:06,363
I'm sorry, my bat-ears
must be malfunctioning
680
00:31:06,365 --> 00:31:07,497
because it sounds...
681
00:31:07,499 --> 00:31:09,066
I surrender!
682
00:31:09,068 --> 00:31:11,201
Okay, you know what? Cool it.
You're a criminal.
683
00:31:11,203 --> 00:31:13,370
You run, and I catch you.
684
00:31:13,372 --> 00:31:14,872
Not anymore, Batman.
685
00:31:14,874 --> 00:31:17,040
You were right.
There is no "us."
686
00:31:17,042 --> 00:31:20,544
So, there's no point in me
trying to fight you anymore.
687
00:31:20,546 --> 00:31:23,046
Therefore,
I will be surrendering myself
688
00:31:23,048 --> 00:31:25,883
to our strong-willed and
forward-thinking new commissioner.
689
00:31:25,885 --> 00:31:27,885
Blink, blink, blink.
Blinkety blink, blink, blink!
690
00:31:27,887 --> 00:31:29,253
That's really suspicious.
691
00:31:29,255 --> 00:31:31,221
Yeah, it is.
What are you up to, joker?
692
00:31:31,223 --> 00:31:33,857
I just wanna go to arkham
and pay for all of my crimes.
693
00:31:33,859 --> 00:31:35,659
Blink, blink, blink.
Blinkety blink, blink, blink!
694
00:31:35,661 --> 00:31:37,828
Are you actually saying "blink"?
695
00:31:37,830 --> 00:31:39,229
No! Blink, blink, blink.
696
00:31:39,231 --> 00:31:40,397
Joker! That's enough.
697
00:31:40,399 --> 00:31:42,165
Okay, babs. I got this.
698
00:31:42,167 --> 00:31:45,736
Not so fast, Batman.
You can't fight me anymore.
699
00:31:45,738 --> 00:31:46,904
I'm off the market.
700
00:31:46,906 --> 00:31:48,839
What are you talking about?
701
00:31:48,841 --> 00:31:50,741
I'm off the menu.
702
00:31:50,743 --> 00:31:53,877
You won't get to fight
any of this anymore.
703
00:31:53,879 --> 00:31:55,712
Man, am I sorry I asked.
704
00:31:55,714 --> 00:31:58,849
Anyway, have fun in jail and...
705
00:31:58,851 --> 00:32:00,217
Batman, what are you doing?
706
00:32:00,219 --> 00:32:02,085
Punching bane.
707
00:32:02,087 --> 00:32:03,921
That was unnecessary.
708
00:32:03,923 --> 00:32:06,423
Oh, no, you can't fight bane
anymore either.
709
00:32:06,425 --> 00:32:07,925
Really?
710
00:32:07,927 --> 00:32:09,760
Yeah. Or riddler.
711
00:32:09,762 --> 00:32:11,328
Or catwoman.
Or condiment king.
712
00:32:12,063 --> 00:32:13,297
Why not?
713
00:32:13,299 --> 00:32:16,033
Because we're all surrendering.
714
00:32:16,035 --> 00:32:17,200
Right, guys?
715
00:32:17,202 --> 00:32:18,268
We are?
716
00:32:18,270 --> 00:32:19,469
Yes!
717
00:32:27,212 --> 00:32:29,947
Riddle me this.
What just happened?
718
00:32:29,949 --> 00:32:31,615
It's the end of crime!
719
00:32:31,617 --> 00:32:33,050
All right!
720
00:32:33,052 --> 00:32:33,884
That was amazing!
Over here, over here!
721
00:32:33,886 --> 00:32:34,952
You did it!
722
00:32:34,954 --> 00:32:36,553
Yeah, of course
I did. I'm...
723
00:32:36,555 --> 00:32:37,754
Sorry, not you.
724
00:32:37,756 --> 00:32:39,489
We're talking
to commissioner Gordon.
725
00:32:39,491 --> 00:32:41,258
Well, it was a team effort.
I got this, babs.
726
00:32:41,260 --> 00:32:42,793
Commissioner, how do you feel?
727
00:32:42,795 --> 00:32:45,128
Amazing!
This is a great first day.
728
00:32:45,130 --> 00:32:46,463
Okay.
729
00:32:46,465 --> 00:32:48,098
Question for Batman.
Shoot.
730
00:32:48,100 --> 00:32:49,566
What are you gonna do
with the rest of your life?
731
00:32:49,568 --> 00:32:51,101
What do you mean,
the rest of my life?
732
00:32:51,103 --> 00:32:52,803
We don't need
a vigilante crime fighter
733
00:32:52,805 --> 00:32:54,237
now that there's no more crime.
734
00:32:54,239 --> 00:32:55,806
Uh, yes, you do.
735
00:32:55,808 --> 00:32:57,841
You can spend some quality
time with your family.
736
00:32:58,643 --> 00:32:59,710
My...
737
00:33:04,415 --> 00:33:06,984
Okay, Batman.
We'll take it from here.
738
00:33:06,986 --> 00:33:08,485
All right, listen up.
739
00:33:08,487 --> 00:33:10,821
All of you have
the right to remain silent.
740
00:33:10,823 --> 00:33:11,955
Let's roll out!
741
00:33:11,957 --> 00:33:13,757
Toodle-oo, Batman!
742
00:33:13,759 --> 00:33:14,758
Bye, Batman. Au revoir, Batman.
743
00:33:14,760 --> 00:33:15,826
Bye, Batman.
744
00:33:15,828 --> 00:33:17,260
Bye, Batman!
745
00:33:23,601 --> 00:33:26,003
Today is a victory
746
00:33:26,005 --> 00:33:29,973
for the citizens of Gotham city!
747
00:33:29,975 --> 00:33:33,176
No more crime!
No more crime! No more crime!
748
00:33:33,178 --> 00:33:36,446
No more crime! No more crime!
No more crime!
749
00:33:36,448 --> 00:33:39,716
No more crime! No more crime!
No more crime!
750
00:33:43,521 --> 00:33:45,055
Is everything okay, sir?
751
00:33:45,057 --> 00:33:47,157
You've barely touched
your lobster thermidor.
752
00:33:47,159 --> 00:33:49,760
I don't have time to eat
lobster thermidor right now!
753
00:33:53,331 --> 00:33:54,831
Warrior two.
754
00:33:54,833 --> 00:33:57,868
Pigeon pose. Tree pose.
755
00:33:58,703 --> 00:34:00,704
Downward dog.
756
00:34:00,706 --> 00:34:01,872
Breath of fire.
757
00:34:01,874 --> 00:34:03,173
Tree pose.
758
00:34:03,175 --> 00:34:04,474
Hey, Batman!
759
00:34:04,476 --> 00:34:05,809
Barbara!
760
00:34:05,811 --> 00:34:07,044
What are you doing?
761
00:34:07,046 --> 00:34:08,845
Nothing.
I have a very full life.
762
00:34:08,847 --> 00:34:11,481
No, I mean,
what are you doing here?
763
00:34:11,483 --> 00:34:14,985
Surveillance.
On the joker.
764
00:34:14,987 --> 00:34:17,988
Batman, we both know
the joker's up to something.
765
00:34:17,990 --> 00:34:21,224
Well, then we can't just let him
run around loose in a prison.
766
00:34:21,226 --> 00:34:22,592
He's not loose.
767
00:34:22,594 --> 00:34:24,561
He has to go
someplace outside the law.
768
00:34:24,563 --> 00:34:26,329
Outside the law?
Yeah.
769
00:34:26,331 --> 00:34:28,532
Somewhere like, uh...
770
00:34:28,534 --> 00:34:31,735
Hi, there. I'm here
from phantom's own laundry.
771
00:34:31,737 --> 00:34:33,904
Here to take that bad stuff
off your hands.
772
00:34:33,906 --> 00:34:36,706
Wait, that's it!
The phantom zone.
773
00:34:36,708 --> 00:34:38,708
The phantom zone? No way!
774
00:34:38,710 --> 00:34:42,679
That is super illegal and way
outside our jurisdiction.
775
00:34:42,681 --> 00:34:46,083
So, why don't you
and I work together
776
00:34:46,085 --> 00:34:48,852
inside the law, to figure
out what he's up to?
777
00:34:48,854 --> 00:34:50,120
Batman works alone.
778
00:34:50,122 --> 00:34:51,755
That's my motto.
Copyright Batman.
779
00:34:53,092 --> 00:34:55,692
Batman, there are
no more vigilantes
780
00:34:55,694 --> 00:34:57,227
allowed in Gotham city.
781
00:34:57,229 --> 00:34:58,862
Okay. Totally got it.
782
00:34:58,864 --> 00:35:00,764
Then I have
to go into double-secret
783
00:35:00,766 --> 00:35:02,866
super vigilante mode.
784
00:35:02,868 --> 00:35:05,435
You said that out loud.
785
00:35:05,437 --> 00:35:07,104
I know that she said
I said that out loud,
786
00:35:07,106 --> 00:35:08,705
but there's no way I did.
787
00:35:08,707 --> 00:35:11,708
She has no idea what's
going on in my super-mind.
788
00:35:11,710 --> 00:35:13,577
Super-mind?
789
00:35:13,579 --> 00:35:14,978
Smoke bomb!
790
00:35:19,784 --> 00:35:21,451
Computer, how do I put the joker
791
00:35:21,453 --> 00:35:22,786
in the phantom zone?
792
00:35:22,788 --> 00:35:24,988
Quickest route, no freeways.
793
00:35:28,126 --> 00:35:29,459
'Puter, do you hear me?
794
00:35:31,930 --> 00:35:33,763
Hello, master Bruce.
795
00:35:33,765 --> 00:35:35,065
Alfred, there's something wrong
796
00:35:35,067 --> 00:35:36,466
with the batcomputer.
Watch this.
797
00:35:36,468 --> 00:35:38,301
'Puter. Nothing.
798
00:35:38,303 --> 00:35:40,303
'Puter. Do you see
what I'm saying?
799
00:35:40,305 --> 00:35:41,905
There's nothing
wrong with it, sir.
800
00:35:41,907 --> 00:35:44,307
I have just taken away
your computer privileges.
801
00:35:47,145 --> 00:35:49,112
The parental lock?
You can't do that.
802
00:35:49,114 --> 00:35:51,448
Oh, I can.
I've been reading
803
00:35:51,450 --> 00:35:53,984
setting limits for your
out-of-control child.
804
00:35:53,986 --> 00:35:55,485
You know what?
Doesn't matter,
805
00:35:55,487 --> 00:35:57,087
'cause I have
a double-secret super password
806
00:35:57,089 --> 00:35:58,788
that unlocks the parental lock.
807
00:35:58,790 --> 00:36:02,159
You mean, "Alfred da
butt-ler," with two t's?
808
00:36:03,862 --> 00:36:06,630
Sir, it's time for you to stop
this unhealthy behavior.
809
00:36:06,632 --> 00:36:08,165
No, it's not.
810
00:36:08,167 --> 00:36:09,833
You need to take
responsibility for your life.
811
00:36:09,835 --> 00:36:11,001
Not right now, I don't.
812
00:36:11,003 --> 00:36:13,737
And it starts
by raising your son.
813
00:36:16,941 --> 00:36:18,542
I'm sorry.
814
00:36:18,544 --> 00:36:21,011
I literally have no idea
what you're talking about.
815
00:36:21,013 --> 00:36:24,648
The young orphan you adopted
at the gala. Remember?
816
00:36:26,351 --> 00:36:28,185
Wow! Stairs.
817
00:36:28,187 --> 00:36:29,653
Whee!
818
00:36:29,655 --> 00:36:32,122
He's been living here
for the past week.
819
00:36:32,124 --> 00:36:34,858
Hello, table! Boom!
820
00:36:34,860 --> 00:36:38,628
And I must say, I've grown
rather fond of the young lad.
821
00:36:38,630 --> 00:36:40,697
Hello, secret camera.
822
00:36:40,699 --> 00:36:41,865
You should get to know him.
823
00:36:43,635 --> 00:36:46,436
You and he have a lot in common.
En garde.
824
00:36:48,172 --> 00:36:50,073
Hello, family photos.
825
00:36:50,075 --> 00:36:52,576
He lost his parents
at a very young age.
826
00:36:54,145 --> 00:36:55,946
I've always wanted one of those.
827
00:36:58,049 --> 00:37:00,217
Doesn't he deserve
a chance for someone
828
00:37:00,219 --> 00:37:02,085
to take him under their wing,
829
00:37:03,054 --> 00:37:06,289
as I took you under mine?
830
00:37:09,393 --> 00:37:12,229
Alfred, you've been watching
way too many lifetime movies
831
00:37:12,231 --> 00:37:13,563
and drinking chardonnay.
832
00:37:13,565 --> 00:37:15,198
It's Pinot grigio, sir.
Whatever it is.
833
00:37:15,200 --> 00:37:17,400
Listen, you don't have a family.
834
00:37:17,402 --> 00:37:19,502
You're satisfied serving me.
835
00:37:19,504 --> 00:37:22,405
So what do you know about
having a surrogate son?
836
00:37:22,407 --> 00:37:24,174
Now, I'm gonna go fight crime
837
00:37:24,176 --> 00:37:26,343
while you put that kid on
the next jet to the orphanage.
838
00:37:26,345 --> 00:37:27,744
Got it?
839
00:37:28,914 --> 00:37:30,413
As you wish, sir.
840
00:37:31,750 --> 00:37:33,583
Whoops-a-Daisy.
841
00:37:34,886 --> 00:37:35,919
Wait, what are you doing?
842
00:37:35,921 --> 00:37:37,254
Dusting.
843
00:37:37,256 --> 00:37:38,622
You can't let him
into the batcave!
844
00:37:38,624 --> 00:37:41,691
I'm not. I'm letting
him into your life
845
00:37:41,693 --> 00:37:43,426
via the batcave.
846
00:37:53,271 --> 00:37:54,437
What?
847
00:37:55,941 --> 00:37:58,408
It's the batcave!
848
00:37:58,410 --> 00:38:00,910
Oh, my gosh.
Oh, my gosh.
849
00:38:00,912 --> 00:38:03,079
Oh, my gosh. Oh, my gosh.
Oh, my gosh. Oh, my gosh.
850
00:38:03,081 --> 00:38:05,749
Oh, my gosh. Oh, my gosh.
Oh, my gosh. Oh, my gosh.
851
00:38:08,586 --> 00:38:10,620
Batman! Whoa!
852
00:38:10,622 --> 00:38:12,222
You're darn right, "whoa."
853
00:38:12,224 --> 00:38:14,457
Wait, does Batman live
in Bruce Wayne's basement?
854
00:38:14,459 --> 00:38:16,793
No. Bruce Wayne
lives in Batman's attic.
855
00:38:16,795 --> 00:38:17,827
We can have
sleepovers every night!
856
00:38:17,829 --> 00:38:19,663
No, we can't.
857
00:38:19,665 --> 00:38:21,298
Wow! Look, it's the bat-sub!
Wait, don't touch that!
858
00:38:21,300 --> 00:38:22,632
Over there,
it's the bat-space shuttle.
859
00:38:22,634 --> 00:38:24,234
Please,
keep your hands off that.
860
00:38:24,236 --> 00:38:25,468
Look, it's the bat-zeppelin!
Don't touch that either!
861
00:38:25,470 --> 00:38:26,636
It's the bat-train!
No!
862
00:38:26,638 --> 00:38:27,971
It's the bat-kayak.
No!
863
00:38:27,973 --> 00:38:29,239
It's the bat-dune buggy.
No!
864
00:38:29,241 --> 00:38:31,941
It's the bat...
Shark repellent?
865
00:38:31,943 --> 00:38:34,611
Uh, actually,
you can touch that.
866
00:38:34,613 --> 00:38:35,979
It's completely useless.
867
00:38:35,981 --> 00:38:37,614
Whoa! Thanks, Batman!
868
00:38:37,616 --> 00:38:39,816
Please, stand over there.
869
00:38:39,818 --> 00:38:42,519
And don't touch, look at,
or do anything
870
00:38:42,521 --> 00:38:44,487
for the remaining moments
you have in my presence.
871
00:38:44,489 --> 00:38:45,655
Okay, cool.
872
00:38:45,657 --> 00:38:47,290
Computer.
Go ahead.
873
00:38:47,292 --> 00:38:49,526
How do I put the joker
in the phantom zone?
874
00:38:49,528 --> 00:38:51,828
Joker can only be put
in the phantom zone
875
00:38:51,830 --> 00:38:53,663
using the phantom zone
projector.
876
00:38:53,665 --> 00:38:54,998
Current location...
877
00:38:55,000 --> 00:38:57,167
Superman's fortress of solitude
878
00:38:57,169 --> 00:38:59,336
inside the atomic cauldron.
879
00:38:59,338 --> 00:39:01,504
However,
only a person that isn't
880
00:39:01,506 --> 00:39:03,973
shredded, ripped,
or extremely swoll
881
00:39:03,975 --> 00:39:05,342
can enter the cauldron.
882
00:39:05,344 --> 00:39:07,210
Ugh, I'm way too buff.
883
00:39:07,212 --> 00:39:09,045
You also have
beautiful abs, sir.
884
00:39:09,047 --> 00:39:10,647
That's my cross to bear.
885
00:39:10,649 --> 00:39:12,882
Additionally,
once inside the cauldron,
886
00:39:12,884 --> 00:39:15,685
multiple Kryptonian
defense systems engage,
887
00:39:15,687 --> 00:39:18,154
including the acid moat,
ring of napalm,
888
00:39:18,156 --> 00:39:19,556
and the jaws of death.
889
00:39:19,558 --> 00:39:23,326
Chance of total
mission failure is 110%.
890
00:39:23,328 --> 00:39:25,695
Those are not great odds.
891
00:39:25,697 --> 00:39:26,863
Wait a minute.
892
00:39:26,865 --> 00:39:28,231
Hey, kid.
Yes, sir?
893
00:39:28,233 --> 00:39:30,033
You're super nimble, right?
I sure am!
894
00:39:30,035 --> 00:39:31,234
And small?
Very.
895
00:39:31,236 --> 00:39:33,069
And quiet?
When I desire to be.
896
00:39:33,071 --> 00:39:35,205
And 110% expendable?
897
00:39:35,207 --> 00:39:37,073
I don't know what that means,
but okay.
898
00:39:37,075 --> 00:39:39,042
Great. Follow me.
899
00:39:39,044 --> 00:39:41,878
We are gonna steal the phantom
zone projector from superman.
900
00:39:41,880 --> 00:39:43,046
Steal?
Yeah.
901
00:39:43,048 --> 00:39:44,748
We have to right a wrong.
902
00:39:44,750 --> 00:39:46,383
And, sometimes,
in order to right a wrong,
903
00:39:46,385 --> 00:39:47,917
you have to do
a wrong-right.
904
00:39:47,919 --> 00:39:49,152
Gandhi said that.
905
00:39:49,154 --> 00:39:50,353
Are we sure Gandhi said that?
906
00:39:50,355 --> 00:39:52,255
I'm paraphrasing.
Cool!
907
00:39:52,257 --> 00:39:54,424
Preparing fortress
of solitude infiltration gear.
908
00:39:54,426 --> 00:39:55,925
Wow! Look at all these!
909
00:39:55,927 --> 00:39:57,560
Do I get a costume
for the mission, too?
910
00:39:57,562 --> 00:39:59,028
I got a feeling that
911
00:39:59,030 --> 00:40:00,363
you'll just look like
a kid on Halloween.
912
00:40:00,365 --> 00:40:01,531
Don't you think?
913
00:40:01,533 --> 00:40:02,599
Don't touch that.
914
00:40:03,769 --> 00:40:05,268
Whoo-hoo!
915
00:40:05,270 --> 00:40:07,337
- El mariachi.
- I like that one!
916
00:40:07,339 --> 00:40:08,538
That one is culturally insensitive.
Night terror.
917
00:40:08,540 --> 00:40:09,873
- That one!
- No way.
918
00:40:09,875 --> 00:40:11,007
- This one?
- Death merchant.
919
00:40:11,009 --> 00:40:12,375
No.
I'm okay.
920
00:40:12,377 --> 00:40:13,510
- This one.
- Fire starter.
921
00:40:13,512 --> 00:40:14,677
This one.
Clawed reigns.
922
00:40:14,679 --> 00:40:16,045
Excali-bat.
This one?
923
00:40:16,047 --> 00:40:17,247
- Silent but deadly.
- Nope.
924
00:40:17,249 --> 00:40:18,748
Bat-ryshnikov.
925
00:40:18,750 --> 00:40:20,016
How do we feel about this one?
926
00:40:20,018 --> 00:40:22,085
Dress-up parties
are for grown-ups only.
927
00:40:22,087 --> 00:40:24,220
Wait. What's that one there?
928
00:40:24,222 --> 00:40:26,222
That one was for the assignment
called the Jamaican caper.
929
00:40:26,224 --> 00:40:28,391
The locals called me reggae man.
930
00:40:28,393 --> 00:40:29,626
I love it!
931
00:40:29,628 --> 00:40:31,628
Ah! Feels like
I was poured into this.
932
00:40:31,630 --> 00:40:33,296
My only trouble is,
933
00:40:33,298 --> 00:40:35,098
these pants are
just a little tight.
934
00:40:35,100 --> 00:40:37,400
I don't know if I could throw
a kick or jump in them.
935
00:40:37,402 --> 00:40:40,236
I got an idea.
Rip! That's better!
936
00:40:40,238 --> 00:40:41,771
Now I'm free, now I'm moving.
937
00:40:41,773 --> 00:40:44,073
Come on, Batman.
Let's get grooving!
938
00:40:44,075 --> 00:40:46,109
I can only look you
in the eyes right now.
939
00:40:46,111 --> 00:40:47,444
Sir, what are you doing?
940
00:40:47,446 --> 00:40:48,812
What do you mean?
941
00:40:48,814 --> 00:40:51,281
Why is master dick
dressed like that?
942
00:40:51,283 --> 00:40:54,951
How dare you tell me how
to parent my kid I just met?
943
00:40:54,953 --> 00:40:56,119
To the Batmobile!
944
00:40:56,121 --> 00:40:57,520
Hot-diggity-dog!
945
00:41:00,157 --> 00:41:02,492
Vehicle rotisserie engaged.
946
00:41:02,494 --> 00:41:04,727
Retrieving the speedwagon.
947
00:41:05,663 --> 00:41:07,464
Atomic batteries to power.
948
00:41:07,466 --> 00:41:08,965
Turbines to speed.
949
00:41:08,967 --> 00:41:11,100
Hey, kid. Let's go.
950
00:41:11,102 --> 00:41:12,268
Oh, shoot!
951
00:41:12,270 --> 00:41:13,503
What?
952
00:41:13,505 --> 00:41:15,638
I probably shouldn't leave
953
00:41:15,640 --> 00:41:17,140
until I get the thumbs up
954
00:41:17,142 --> 00:41:19,409
from my new old man,
Bruce Wayne.
955
00:41:20,945 --> 00:41:23,213
Uh, yeah.
Here's the thing.
956
00:41:24,982 --> 00:41:27,517
Bruno and I decided
957
00:41:27,519 --> 00:41:29,652
to share custody of you.
958
00:41:29,654 --> 00:41:31,788
So I get a say
959
00:41:31,790 --> 00:41:33,990
and you're mission approved.
960
00:41:33,992 --> 00:41:36,326
No way!
Is this really happening?
961
00:41:36,328 --> 00:41:37,794
Yeah.
962
00:41:37,796 --> 00:41:38,862
Whoo-hoo!
963
00:41:38,864 --> 00:41:40,497
A month ago, I had no dads.
964
00:41:40,499 --> 00:41:42,665
Then I had one dad.
Now I have two dads!
965
00:41:42,667 --> 00:41:44,968
And one of them is Batman!
Yeah.
966
00:41:46,471 --> 00:41:47,670
So...
967
00:41:47,672 --> 00:41:49,839
Are you ready to follow Batman
968
00:41:49,841 --> 00:41:52,842
and maybe learn a few
life lessons along the way?
969
00:41:52,844 --> 00:41:54,511
I sure am, dad two!
970
00:41:54,513 --> 00:41:56,513
But first, where's the seatbelt?
971
00:41:56,515 --> 00:41:58,147
The first lesson is,
972
00:41:58,149 --> 00:42:00,183
life doesn't give you seatbelts!
973
00:42:00,185 --> 00:42:02,485
Let's go!
Whoo-hoo!
974
00:42:02,487 --> 00:42:04,020
Yes!
975
00:42:05,357 --> 00:42:07,056
Faster, dad! Faster!
976
00:42:08,058 --> 00:42:09,192
Whoo!
Yeah!
977
00:42:09,194 --> 00:42:10,226
Whoo!
Yeah!
978
00:42:10,228 --> 00:42:11,394
Yes, yes, yes!
979
00:42:13,031 --> 00:42:15,698
Oh! Oh, my goodness.
I am so sorry.
980
00:42:15,700 --> 00:42:17,700
Get back up in that seat.
There you go.
981
00:42:17,702 --> 00:42:19,869
Hey, listen. As soon as
I get back to the batcave,
982
00:42:19,871 --> 00:42:22,539
I'll make sure that Alfred
puts seatbelts on there, okay?
983
00:42:22,541 --> 00:42:23,873
But for the time being,
984
00:42:23,875 --> 00:42:25,708
I'm just gonna
put my arm right here.
985
00:42:25,710 --> 00:42:29,012
And we're just gonna
gently ease out of here.
986
00:42:29,014 --> 00:42:30,947
And here we go.
987
00:42:43,894 --> 00:42:46,362
Okay. Like all superheroes,
988
00:42:46,364 --> 00:42:49,032
superman has zero friends,
and he spends most of his time
989
00:42:49,034 --> 00:42:51,401
basking in sweet,
sweet isolation,
990
00:42:51,403 --> 00:42:53,236
here at his alone palace.
991
00:42:53,238 --> 00:42:55,071
So, I'll keep him busy
992
00:42:55,073 --> 00:42:57,707
while you sneak into that vent
and get the projector. Got it?
993
00:42:57,709 --> 00:42:59,742
Copy that! Oh, here's an idea.
I could also...
994
00:42:59,744 --> 00:43:00,910
Whoa, whoa. Don't
even finish that thought.
995
00:43:00,912 --> 00:43:02,345
See this counter?
996
00:43:02,347 --> 00:43:03,947
These are all the good ideas
Batman has.
997
00:43:03,949 --> 00:43:05,782
And no one else has
ever had any good ideas.
998
00:43:05,784 --> 00:43:07,050
So don't even try.
999
00:43:07,052 --> 00:43:08,751
Your super power...
1000
00:43:08,753 --> 00:43:11,554
is excellent listening
and execution of my ideas.
1001
00:43:11,556 --> 00:43:13,456
Let's try it out.
Cool!
1002
00:43:13,458 --> 00:43:15,558
Drop to the ground.
Do a backflip.
1003
00:43:15,560 --> 00:43:17,226
Do a front flip.
Triple Axel.
1004
00:43:17,228 --> 00:43:19,762
Plie. Releve. Jete.
Pythagorean theorem.
1005
00:43:19,764 --> 00:43:21,130
A squared plus b squared
equals c squared.
1006
00:43:21,132 --> 00:43:22,265
Physical, I said!
1007
00:43:22,267 --> 00:43:24,567
A squared plus b squared
1008
00:43:24,569 --> 00:43:26,569
equals c squared.
1009
00:43:26,571 --> 00:43:27,637
How'd I do, dad?
Mediocre.
1010
00:43:27,639 --> 00:43:29,138
Yes!
1011
00:43:29,140 --> 00:43:30,940
And don't call me "dad."
Now, begin mission.
1012
00:43:30,942 --> 00:43:32,308
Yes, papa.
1013
00:43:32,310 --> 00:43:34,344
"Papa" falls into
the "dad" category.
1014
00:43:52,129 --> 00:43:53,463
'Sup, supes?
1015
00:43:53,465 --> 00:43:56,099
Wow. It's Batman.
1016
00:43:56,101 --> 00:43:58,134
And he's at my house.
1017
00:43:58,136 --> 00:43:59,435
Right now.
1018
00:43:59,437 --> 00:44:00,803
What are you doing here?
1019
00:44:00,805 --> 00:44:02,238
Don't worry about it, dawg.
1020
00:44:02,240 --> 00:44:03,673
I'm not here to
throw down or anything.
1021
00:44:03,675 --> 00:44:05,675
Uh, no, I would crush you.
1022
00:44:05,677 --> 00:44:08,478
Okay. Sure, sure, sure.
1023
00:44:08,480 --> 00:44:10,346
Hey, listen.
Thank me later,
1024
00:44:10,348 --> 00:44:12,148
but I just happened to be
in the hood.
1025
00:44:12,150 --> 00:44:15,051
And I figured that you could
probably use the...
1026
00:44:18,189 --> 00:44:19,689
company.
1027
00:44:21,793 --> 00:44:23,626
Wait a minute.
1028
00:44:23,628 --> 00:44:25,695
Are you... are you having
1029
00:44:25,697 --> 00:44:29,666
the "57th annual justice
league anniversary party"
1030
00:44:29,668 --> 00:44:30,967
without me?
1031
00:44:30,969 --> 00:44:32,001
No.
1032
00:44:32,003 --> 00:44:33,836
No! No! No!
1033
00:44:33,838 --> 00:44:36,706
No! There must have been
some mistake with the email.
1034
00:44:36,708 --> 00:44:38,307
That's crazy, man.
1035
00:44:38,309 --> 00:44:41,010
Totally! Yes, email mistakes
happen all the time.
1036
00:44:41,012 --> 00:44:43,413
Sometimes I don't get
superman's emails for
1037
00:44:44,048 --> 00:44:45,281
years.
1038
00:44:45,283 --> 00:44:46,983
Great point, g.L.
Great point.
1039
00:44:46,985 --> 00:44:48,518
All right. Well, that
clears up everything, right?
1040
00:44:48,520 --> 00:44:49,552
Enjoy the party, bro.
1041
00:44:49,554 --> 00:44:52,021
Hit it, dj wonder dog.
1042
00:44:59,397 --> 00:45:01,531
Hey, Batman.
Do you wanna take a quick pic?
1043
00:45:01,533 --> 00:45:03,032
Sure. Where do you want me?
1044
00:45:03,034 --> 00:45:04,067
Right there is perfect.
1045
00:45:04,069 --> 00:45:05,702
Here's the camera.
Oh.
1046
00:45:05,704 --> 00:45:07,837
Okay, party people,
get together.
1047
00:45:07,839 --> 00:45:09,372
Yeah. Everybody say...
1048
00:45:09,374 --> 00:45:11,374
Super friends!
1049
00:45:11,376 --> 00:45:12,542
Let me see it! Let me see!
1050
00:45:12,544 --> 00:45:14,444
Classic! We got everyone.
1051
00:45:15,045 --> 00:45:16,679
Yeah, everyone.
1052
00:45:16,681 --> 00:45:18,081
Thanks, Batman.
1053
00:45:18,083 --> 00:45:20,750
Yeah, no problem.
I did, like, a burst.
1054
00:45:20,752 --> 00:45:22,885
This party is the bomb!
1055
00:45:22,887 --> 00:45:26,389
Look at me! More like martian
dance hunter, am I right?
1056
00:45:27,926 --> 00:45:29,292
'Puter, call kid.
1057
00:45:30,027 --> 00:45:31,394
Bat-dad?
1058
00:45:31,396 --> 00:45:32,862
How's it going?
1059
00:45:32,864 --> 00:45:34,764
'Cause everything is
going great down here.
1060
00:45:34,766 --> 00:45:36,065
I can see the target.
1061
00:45:36,067 --> 00:45:37,400
But there's some kind of
laser energy thing
1062
00:45:37,402 --> 00:45:38,735
that I can't get through.
1063
00:45:38,737 --> 00:45:40,670
Okay. I'll see
if I can shut it off.
1064
00:45:40,672 --> 00:45:42,705
But I'm gonna have to make up
an excuse to leave this party
1065
00:45:42,707 --> 00:45:44,273
without anyone noticing.
1066
00:45:45,609 --> 00:45:46,676
Bye.
1067
00:45:48,078 --> 00:45:49,579
Kid, tell me
when it's off, all right?
1068
00:45:49,581 --> 00:45:50,613
Now?
No.
1069
00:45:50,615 --> 00:45:51,714
Now?
No.
1070
00:45:51,716 --> 00:45:52,749
Now?
Not quite.
1071
00:45:52,751 --> 00:45:53,883
Now?
No.
1072
00:45:53,885 --> 00:45:55,685
My son...
No.
1073
00:45:55,687 --> 00:45:57,286
These irreplaceable crystals
contain all my knowledge,
1074
00:45:57,288 --> 00:45:59,388
which I now pass on to...
1075
00:45:59,390 --> 00:46:02,391
Darn it. It's gotta be one of
these. Is this the one?
1076
00:46:02,393 --> 00:46:04,460
O.M. Gosh! You did it, padre!
It's off!
1077
00:46:04,462 --> 00:46:06,095
Okay.
1078
00:46:06,097 --> 00:46:07,430
Now you gotta make your way
to the atomic cauldron
1079
00:46:07,432 --> 00:46:09,132
and get that
phantom zone projector.
1080
00:46:09,134 --> 00:46:11,267
Do exactly as I say.
10-4!
1081
00:46:11,269 --> 00:46:12,635
Okay. Jump!
1082
00:46:14,238 --> 00:46:16,172
Do a front flip.
Do a backflip.
1083
00:46:17,407 --> 00:46:19,742
Run, run, run. Drop.
1084
00:46:19,744 --> 00:46:21,277
That's excellent listening.
1085
00:46:21,279 --> 00:46:22,411
Shimmy.
1086
00:46:22,413 --> 00:46:24,647
Strafe-left. Strafe-right.
1087
00:46:24,649 --> 00:46:26,249
Avoid.
1088
00:46:26,251 --> 00:46:27,950
Hey, I was thinking.
If I'm gonna be a superhero,
1089
00:46:27,952 --> 00:46:29,819
and go on awesome
superhero missions
1090
00:46:29,821 --> 00:46:31,521
like this one,
can we use code names?
1091
00:46:32,790 --> 00:46:34,090
Mine can be Robin.
1092
00:46:34,092 --> 00:46:35,792
I'm sorry, say that again?
Robin!
1093
00:46:35,794 --> 00:46:38,461
As in the small,
midwestern frail bird?
1094
00:46:38,463 --> 00:46:39,962
Yeah, and I already have
a catch phrase.
1095
00:46:39,964 --> 00:46:41,297
Tweet, tweet, on the street.
1096
00:46:41,299 --> 00:46:42,799
Hard pass.
And a song.
1097
00:46:44,435 --> 00:46:45,802
Harder pass. Now slide!
1098
00:46:47,138 --> 00:46:48,771
Okay, kid. I'm gonna teach you
1099
00:46:48,773 --> 00:46:50,673
how to masterbuild your way
inside that thing.
1100
00:46:50,675 --> 00:46:52,241
Yay!
1101
00:46:52,243 --> 00:46:54,310
Grab those 2x6's,
pull out the axle studs,
1102
00:46:54,312 --> 00:46:55,812
disconnect the 6x10 plates.
1103
00:46:55,814 --> 00:46:56,946
Like this?
1104
00:46:56,948 --> 00:46:58,848
Whoa! Unbelievable obeying.
1105
00:46:58,850 --> 00:47:00,149
Now, let's ride.
1106
00:47:00,151 --> 00:47:01,517
Toes to the nose.
1107
00:47:01,519 --> 00:47:02,985
Now you're gleaming the cube.
1108
00:47:02,987 --> 00:47:04,821
Yeah!
Now, get creative.
1109
00:47:04,823 --> 00:47:07,190
Freestyle a little bit.
Oh, that's good, kid!
1110
00:47:07,192 --> 00:47:09,358
It's like looking
in a bat-mirror.
1111
00:47:09,360 --> 00:47:11,227
Okay. Leap.
1112
00:47:14,131 --> 00:47:16,132
I've got the projector, dad.
Booyah!
1113
00:47:16,134 --> 00:47:19,202
Now do everything
we just did backwards.
1114
00:47:19,636 --> 00:47:21,804
Oh.
1115
00:47:21,806 --> 00:47:23,840
Oh! Here you go, dad.
We did it!
1116
00:47:23,842 --> 00:47:27,109
Yeah! Mission accomplished.
That was fun!
1117
00:47:29,213 --> 00:47:30,479
You okay, Batman?
1118
00:47:30,481 --> 00:47:32,982
You seem the opposite of stern.
1119
00:47:32,984 --> 00:47:34,851
Yeah, I'm fine. It's just
1120
00:47:34,853 --> 00:47:37,553
watching you out there,
1121
00:47:37,555 --> 00:47:41,123
it was like the world wasn't
all darkness anymore.
1122
00:47:42,526 --> 00:47:44,727
For a brief moment
1123
00:47:44,729 --> 00:47:48,064
I could have sworn
I felt something.
1124
00:47:48,066 --> 00:47:51,167
That feeling is pride, sir.
1125
00:47:51,169 --> 00:47:52,668
You're right.
1126
00:47:52,670 --> 00:47:54,537
I am super proud.
1127
00:47:56,173 --> 00:47:58,174
Of myself.
1128
00:47:58,176 --> 00:48:01,744
For being such
a good teacher, obviously.
1129
00:48:01,746 --> 00:48:04,180
Yeah, you're a great teacher.
1130
00:48:04,182 --> 00:48:05,882
I am?
1131
00:48:05,884 --> 00:48:08,551
Yeah! I wanna be just like you
when I grow up, padre!
1132
00:48:08,553 --> 00:48:10,286
Wait, what did you call me?
1133
00:48:11,221 --> 00:48:13,689
I called you padre.
1134
00:48:13,691 --> 00:48:16,592
It's Spanish
for "dad." Sorry.
1135
00:48:16,594 --> 00:48:20,029
Well, isn't it also a cool
Spanish way to say "buddy"?
1136
00:48:20,031 --> 00:48:22,098
Yeah, I could've been
saying it that way.
1137
00:48:22,100 --> 00:48:23,399
Then I'll allow it.
1138
00:48:23,401 --> 00:48:25,401
Oh, you're such a great padre!
1139
00:48:25,403 --> 00:48:26,736
What are you doing?
1140
00:48:26,738 --> 00:48:28,604
I'm trying to give you
a big old hug.
1141
00:48:28,606 --> 00:48:31,040
Thought you were attacking me.
1142
00:48:31,042 --> 00:48:33,743
Hey, you up for another
top secret superhero mission
1143
00:48:33,745 --> 00:48:35,244
to defeat the joker?
1144
00:48:35,246 --> 00:48:37,546
Oh, I am down to
stop that clown.
1145
00:48:37,548 --> 00:48:39,916
But I don't wanna make my other
dad, Bruce Wayne, angry.
1146
00:48:39,918 --> 00:48:41,450
Do you think we'll be done
before my bedtime?
1147
00:48:41,452 --> 00:48:42,718
Bedtime?
1148
00:48:42,720 --> 00:48:44,287
Batman's life lesson number two.
1149
00:48:44,289 --> 00:48:46,255
Vigilantes don't have bedtimes.
1150
00:48:46,257 --> 00:48:47,723
Yes!
1151
00:48:47,725 --> 00:48:50,793
So, what's the vigilante
policy on cookies?
1152
00:48:50,795 --> 00:48:53,896
Unlimited!
1153
00:48:53,898 --> 00:48:57,033
All right, kid. We need to
avoid commissioner Gordon.
1154
00:48:58,135 --> 00:49:00,436
So, lesson number three.
1155
00:49:00,438 --> 00:49:02,071
When going stealth,
1156
00:49:02,073 --> 00:49:04,607
you gotta hide
every part of you,
1157
00:49:04,609 --> 00:49:05,689
physically and emotionally.
1158
00:49:06,643 --> 00:49:08,110
Got it?
Yeah!
1159
00:49:08,112 --> 00:49:10,780
Already failed.
Now, what I need you to do
1160
00:49:10,782 --> 00:49:13,449
is use the naturally dark areas
1161
00:49:13,451 --> 00:49:14,750
of your costume,
1162
00:49:14,752 --> 00:49:16,986
and integrate
into the dark parts
1163
00:49:16,988 --> 00:49:18,454
of this environment.
1164
00:49:18,456 --> 00:49:19,655
Okay.
1165
00:49:19,657 --> 00:49:21,624
Can you see me?
Yes.
1166
00:49:21,626 --> 00:49:23,759
How about now?
Yes.
1167
00:49:23,761 --> 00:49:25,761
What about now? Now?
Yes.
1168
00:49:25,763 --> 00:49:27,630
Yes. You're a goner, kid.
1169
00:49:27,632 --> 00:49:29,632
Batman?
Barbara!
1170
00:49:32,103 --> 00:49:34,603
Batman? Batman!
1171
00:49:34,605 --> 00:49:36,005
Hey, there.
Look at you.
1172
00:49:36,007 --> 00:49:37,673
Who's this?
Hi, police lady.
1173
00:49:37,675 --> 00:49:39,342
Is that your son?
Yes, I am.
1174
00:49:39,344 --> 00:49:41,477
Is that my son...
No, that's just weird.
1175
00:49:41,479 --> 00:49:42,979
It's weirder
if it's not your son.
1176
00:49:42,981 --> 00:49:45,481
Right. No, I don't...
1177
00:49:45,483 --> 00:49:47,616
I'm not in a relationship
or anything.
1178
00:49:47,618 --> 00:49:49,685
I could have a kid.
1179
00:49:49,687 --> 00:49:52,154
I mean, if I met the right lady,
1180
00:49:52,156 --> 00:49:55,324
and if she was just standing
right in front of me,
1181
00:49:55,326 --> 00:49:56,692
and we looked at each other
and thought,
1182
00:49:56,694 --> 00:49:58,527
"hey, let's do this."
1183
00:49:58,529 --> 00:50:00,496
"Let's be together."
1184
00:50:00,498 --> 00:50:02,131
Batman?
Yes?
1185
00:50:02,133 --> 00:50:03,666
I hope you're back
because you've decided
1186
00:50:03,668 --> 00:50:05,167
to work together
1187
00:50:05,169 --> 00:50:06,669
on the joker case.
1188
00:50:06,671 --> 00:50:08,004
Uh...
1189
00:50:08,006 --> 00:50:10,506
Yeah. Absolutely!
1190
00:50:10,508 --> 00:50:11,841
Great.
1191
00:50:13,177 --> 00:50:14,543
Ooh. Arkham asylum.
1192
00:50:14,545 --> 00:50:16,145
So, before
we question the joker,
1193
00:50:16,147 --> 00:50:17,680
I'm gonna need you to hand
over all your weapons.
1194
00:50:17,682 --> 00:50:19,348
I mean, I don't know
if I have anything...
1195
00:50:19,350 --> 00:50:20,683
Oh!
1196
00:50:20,685 --> 00:50:22,184
I just got a couple here.
There.
1197
00:50:22,186 --> 00:50:23,519
Is that it?
Yeah.
1198
00:50:23,521 --> 00:50:25,154
Oh. Of course.
1199
00:50:25,156 --> 00:50:26,655
What about the utility belt?
Anything in your cape?
1200
00:50:26,657 --> 00:50:28,057
Under your cowl?
1201
00:50:28,059 --> 00:50:29,492
And your shoes.
1202
00:50:29,494 --> 00:50:30,826
There we go.
1203
00:50:30,828 --> 00:50:32,528
Uh...
This is really uncomfortable.
1204
00:50:32,530 --> 00:50:34,563
Sorry. My shoes
are part of my pants.
1205
00:50:35,867 --> 00:50:37,033
Oops.
1206
00:50:37,035 --> 00:50:38,401
Batman?
Yes?
1207
00:50:38,403 --> 00:50:40,202
Why is your "not son"
1208
00:50:40,204 --> 00:50:41,570
trying to smuggle
1209
00:50:41,572 --> 00:50:43,005
the phantom zone projector
into arkham?
1210
00:50:43,007 --> 00:50:45,708
What? Hey, kid.
What is this?
1211
00:50:45,710 --> 00:50:47,743
Batman, give me
the phantom zone projector.
1212
00:50:47,745 --> 00:50:50,046
No.
Batman!
1213
00:50:50,048 --> 00:50:52,214
Give me the phantom zone projector!
Give it to me! No, no, no! Whoa! Nice.
1214
00:50:52,216 --> 00:50:54,683
I studied Brazilian jiu-jitsu
at Harvard for police.
1215
00:50:54,685 --> 00:50:57,386
Oh, yeah? Well, guess who got
a phd in smoke bombs!
1216
00:50:57,388 --> 00:50:58,521
Dr. Batman.
1217
00:50:58,523 --> 00:50:59,922
Guards! Get them!
1218
00:50:59,924 --> 00:51:01,323
Freeze, Batman!
1219
00:51:01,325 --> 00:51:03,059
Hey, kid.
This is a training exercise.
1220
00:51:03,061 --> 00:51:04,560
These guys are my bros.
Go ahead
1221
00:51:04,562 --> 00:51:06,195
and take a couple of them out.
Cool!
1222
00:51:06,197 --> 00:51:07,496
Hey, frank.
1223
00:51:07,498 --> 00:51:08,831
You want a piece of Robin?
1224
00:51:08,833 --> 00:51:10,232
Barney!
Nice compound fracture!
1225
00:51:10,234 --> 00:51:11,967
How'd you like a punch, Glen?
1226
00:51:12,903 --> 00:51:14,070
Code red!
1227
00:51:14,072 --> 00:51:16,072
I need total
security lockdown, now!
1228
00:51:18,708 --> 00:51:19,975
Om!
1229
00:51:21,411 --> 00:51:22,878
'Sup, joker?
1230
00:51:22,880 --> 00:51:24,280
Namaste, Batman.
1231
00:51:24,282 --> 00:51:25,948
Namaste.
Gross.
1232
00:51:25,950 --> 00:51:27,583
Ooh. Briefs man.
Me, too.
1233
00:51:27,585 --> 00:51:29,919
Cut the baloney.
Kid, guard the door, will ya?
1234
00:51:29,921 --> 00:51:31,387
On it! Take that, Alan!
1235
00:51:31,389 --> 00:51:32,755
Huh. Looks like
you're going
1236
00:51:32,757 --> 00:51:34,890
to a lot of trouble
for little old me.
1237
00:51:34,892 --> 00:51:37,226
I must be
your greatest enemy after all.
1238
00:51:37,228 --> 00:51:38,761
Right, Batman?
1239
00:51:38,763 --> 00:51:40,096
I see what you're trying to do.
1240
00:51:40,098 --> 00:51:41,564
And what is that?
1241
00:51:41,566 --> 00:51:42,898
You're trying to entrap me
1242
00:51:42,900 --> 00:51:44,967
into a relationship.
Really?
1243
00:51:44,969 --> 00:51:46,402
Yeah, and it's not gonna work.
1244
00:51:46,404 --> 00:51:47,770
Oh, yes, it is.
1245
00:51:47,772 --> 00:51:49,105
Because I'm inside your head.
1246
00:51:50,441 --> 00:51:51,574
No, you're not!
No, you're not!
1247
00:51:51,576 --> 00:51:52,808
I knew you'd say that.
1248
00:51:52,810 --> 00:51:54,276
No, you didn't!
No, you didn't!
1249
00:51:54,278 --> 00:51:56,278
And I knew you'd say that!
1250
00:51:56,280 --> 00:51:58,481
See? We aren't so different,
I and you.
1251
00:51:58,483 --> 00:51:59,615
It's, "you and I!"
It's, "you and I!"
1252
00:51:59,617 --> 00:52:01,617
Argh!
Admit it.
1253
00:52:01,619 --> 00:52:02,952
I'm your greatest enemy.
1254
00:52:02,954 --> 00:52:04,487
You're not my greatest enemy,
joker.
1255
00:52:04,489 --> 00:52:06,956
Okay, then send me
to the phantom zone.
1256
00:52:06,958 --> 00:52:08,090
Fine, I will.
1257
00:52:08,092 --> 00:52:10,960
And prove
I'm your greatest enemy.
1258
00:52:12,096 --> 00:52:13,629
Batman, don't do this.
1259
00:52:13,631 --> 00:52:15,798
As long as you're
in the phantom zone,
1260
00:52:15,800 --> 00:52:17,299
I'll be saving Gotham city,
1261
00:52:17,301 --> 00:52:19,135
and that's all
that matters to me.
1262
00:52:19,137 --> 00:52:20,603
Goodbye, joker.
1263
00:52:20,605 --> 00:52:22,771
Oh, Batman, thank you!
1264
00:52:24,842 --> 00:52:28,477
Yes! That's what I call
saving the city again!
1265
00:52:28,479 --> 00:52:30,346
Batman, what are you doing?
1266
00:52:30,348 --> 00:52:33,015
I'm Batman-ing.
1267
00:52:36,320 --> 00:52:37,686
Stop it!
1268
00:52:37,688 --> 00:52:39,321
Batman, I can't believe
you did this.
1269
00:52:39,323 --> 00:52:40,489
Hi, police lady.
1270
00:52:40,491 --> 00:52:42,191
And even worse,
1271
00:52:42,193 --> 00:52:44,273
you've made this kid into
an accessory to your crime.
1272
00:52:45,328 --> 00:52:46,762
Sorry, kid.
1273
00:52:46,764 --> 00:52:48,130
That's okay, ma'am.
As long as I'm doing
1274
00:52:48,132 --> 00:52:49,632
a dime in the big house
with my old man,
1275
00:52:49,634 --> 00:52:51,333
everything's gonna be a-okay.
1276
00:52:51,335 --> 00:52:53,502
Officers, take this projector
to the evidence room.
1277
00:52:53,504 --> 00:52:55,371
You got it.
And get this man some pants.
1278
00:52:55,373 --> 00:52:56,805
I'm good the way I am.
1279
00:52:56,807 --> 00:52:59,408
B go, why has nobody
fist bumped me yet?
1280
00:53:00,677 --> 00:53:04,346
You know, when I was a kid,
1281
00:53:04,348 --> 00:53:07,383
I wanted to be you, Batman.
1282
00:53:07,385 --> 00:53:09,552
I wanted to be as strong
1283
00:53:09,554 --> 00:53:13,189
and as fast
and as smart as Batman.
1284
00:53:13,191 --> 00:53:15,724
But you're not
who I thought you were.
1285
00:53:15,726 --> 00:53:17,092
Uh... what do you mean?
1286
00:53:17,827 --> 00:53:19,862
You can't be a hero
1287
00:53:19,864 --> 00:53:21,597
if you only care about yourself.
1288
00:53:22,232 --> 00:53:24,266
Barbara, I...
1289
00:53:26,503 --> 00:53:28,537
I think you're underestimating
the importance
1290
00:53:28,539 --> 00:53:31,073
of the joker
being in the phantom zone.
1291
00:53:31,075 --> 00:53:33,542
Really, it's kind of a stroke
of genius. All the...
1292
00:53:33,544 --> 00:53:34,710
Hey, where are you going?
1293
00:53:34,712 --> 00:53:36,745
I just put joker
in the one place
1294
00:53:36,747 --> 00:53:38,314
he can't do anyone any harm.
1295
00:53:39,549 --> 00:53:41,417
Yeah.
1296
00:53:41,419 --> 00:53:44,053
But what if you just gave joker
1297
00:53:44,055 --> 00:53:45,754
exactly what he wanted?
1298
00:54:10,747 --> 00:54:11,814
Oh!
1299
00:54:14,918 --> 00:54:16,352
Whoa!
1300
00:54:16,354 --> 00:54:18,621
Look at this place!
Am I being too loud?
1301
00:54:19,757 --> 00:54:21,423
Hi!
Oh, my gosh!
1302
00:54:21,425 --> 00:54:23,459
Sorry. I always do that.
1303
00:54:23,461 --> 00:54:24,760
How about a warning next time?
1304
00:54:24,762 --> 00:54:26,195
You're so right,
and I am so wrong.
1305
00:54:26,197 --> 00:54:28,130
Welcome to the phantom zone,
bad guy.
1306
00:54:28,132 --> 00:54:29,865
Yeah, bad guy.
1307
00:54:29,867 --> 00:54:31,433
My name is Phyllis. Oh,
that was my grandma's name.
1308
00:54:31,435 --> 00:54:34,103
Now hold still while I scan you.
1309
00:54:34,105 --> 00:54:35,804
Scanning for badness.
1310
00:54:35,806 --> 00:54:37,539
Trying to assess
whether you are bad.
1311
00:54:41,946 --> 00:54:44,280
Ugh! Your whole thing
screams "bad guy."
1312
00:54:44,282 --> 00:54:46,649
Oh, yeah.
I'm a really bad person.
1313
00:54:46,651 --> 00:54:48,751
But with vulnerabilities.
1314
00:54:48,753 --> 00:54:50,719
Who, me?
No way.
1315
00:54:50,721 --> 00:54:53,922
So, where do you keep all the
other bad people in this place?
1316
00:54:53,924 --> 00:54:55,624
They're standing
right behind you.
1317
00:54:55,626 --> 00:54:56,825
Whoa!
1318
00:54:58,061 --> 00:54:59,228
Hi there, guys.
1319
00:54:59,230 --> 00:55:00,663
Lovely to meet you all.
I'm the...
1320
00:55:00,665 --> 00:55:03,499
Oh, fist bump?
There we... handshake?
1321
00:55:03,501 --> 00:55:04,967
It doesn't matter.
I'm the joker.
1322
00:55:04,969 --> 00:55:06,502
Take a look at the new guy.
1323
00:55:06,504 --> 00:55:08,971
Guess they'll just let
anybody in here.
1324
00:55:08,973 --> 00:55:10,606
Oh, no, no, no.
I'm very bad, too.
1325
00:55:10,608 --> 00:55:12,908
They just showed
a video montage...
1326
00:55:12,910 --> 00:55:14,310
Boring!
What?
1327
00:55:14,312 --> 00:55:16,245
You're boring.
He looks delicious.
1328
00:55:16,247 --> 00:55:17,680
Let's eat this guy.
1329
00:55:19,116 --> 00:55:21,517
Stop with the violence
for just a second!
1330
00:55:21,519 --> 00:55:24,987
What if I told you
I could get you outta here?
1331
00:55:26,489 --> 00:55:27,656
I'm sorry, what'd you just say?
1332
00:55:27,658 --> 00:55:29,325
That's right. I'm so bad,
1333
00:55:29,327 --> 00:55:32,494
I got myself thrown into
this heck-hole on purpose!
1334
00:55:32,496 --> 00:55:33,796
I'm listening.
1335
00:55:33,798 --> 00:55:35,998
Count me interested.
1336
00:55:36,000 --> 00:55:37,966
Look, everyone here knows
1337
00:55:37,968 --> 00:55:40,502
what it's like to be hurt
by a hero, don't they?
1338
00:55:40,504 --> 00:55:42,638
We've all been
taken for granted, right?
1339
00:55:42,640 --> 00:55:44,506
- Yeah, bro.
- I'm relating.
1340
00:55:44,508 --> 00:55:48,277
Well, that's why I came
to this space prison.
1341
00:55:48,279 --> 00:55:49,878
To recruit
the universe's greatest...
1342
00:55:49,880 --> 00:55:51,113
We'll do it!
1343
00:55:51,115 --> 00:55:52,681
I'm sorry?
1344
00:55:52,683 --> 00:55:54,049
You were going to say
something about recruiting
1345
00:55:54,051 --> 00:55:55,617
the universe's greatest villains
1346
00:55:55,619 --> 00:55:58,287
to conquer a superhero.
1347
00:55:58,289 --> 00:56:00,155
Am I right?
Uh, yeah.
1348
00:56:00,157 --> 00:56:02,124
- Well, we're in!
- Yay!
1349
00:56:02,126 --> 00:56:03,492
Really? Because
I brought a powerpoint...
1350
00:56:03,494 --> 00:56:04,827
Still boring!
1351
00:56:04,829 --> 00:56:06,161
Yeah. Just get on with it.
1352
00:56:06,163 --> 00:56:07,896
You want us to humiliate him?
1353
00:56:07,898 --> 00:56:09,231
I certainly do. Yes.
1354
00:56:09,233 --> 00:56:11,834
You want us to make him
grovel at your feet?
1355
00:56:11,836 --> 00:56:13,869
I would like to see that
very much!
1356
00:56:13,871 --> 00:56:16,071
You want us to smite him?
1357
00:56:16,073 --> 00:56:17,639
Well, yeah, yeah, yeah.
1358
00:56:17,641 --> 00:56:19,375
You want us to make
the rivers of Gotham city
1359
00:56:19,377 --> 00:56:21,243
run red with his blood?
1360
00:56:21,245 --> 00:56:22,711
Oh, that's...
1361
00:56:22,713 --> 00:56:24,980
Oh, no blood?
How do you feel about lava?
1362
00:56:24,982 --> 00:56:26,048
Yes! Lava.
1363
00:56:26,050 --> 00:56:27,416
- Done.
- Yay!
1364
00:56:27,418 --> 00:56:28,717
I can't wait to crush buildings.
1365
00:56:28,719 --> 00:56:30,085
Excuse me. Hello?
1366
00:56:30,087 --> 00:56:31,854
Over here.
I don't want to be a downer,
1367
00:56:31,856 --> 00:56:33,989
but how exactly are we going
to get outta this place?
1368
00:56:33,991 --> 00:56:37,426
Oh, leave that to me.
1369
00:56:37,428 --> 00:56:39,228
Don't wanna jinx us,
1370
00:56:39,230 --> 00:56:41,397
but I'll be a lot happier when
this phantom zone projector
1371
00:56:41,399 --> 00:56:42,998
is locked up tight.
1372
00:56:44,335 --> 00:56:45,768
Going up, ma'am?
1373
00:56:45,770 --> 00:56:49,571
No. You're going down!
1374
00:56:49,573 --> 00:56:51,940
Look out! Smash!
1375
00:56:51,942 --> 00:56:54,576
I guess you're right.
I am going up. Ding!
1376
00:56:57,080 --> 00:56:58,914
Here comes the...
1377
00:56:58,916 --> 00:57:01,750
Phantom zone!
1378
00:57:04,721 --> 00:57:05,888
Huh?
1379
00:57:07,458 --> 00:57:08,957
I'm gonna go start looting.
1380
00:57:08,959 --> 00:57:12,428
Hello, Gotham city!
1381
00:57:12,430 --> 00:57:15,230
The clown prince of crime
1382
00:57:15,232 --> 00:57:16,899
is back!
1383
00:57:16,901 --> 00:57:19,401
Commissioner Gordon,
you gotta take a look at this.
1384
00:57:19,403 --> 00:57:20,736
What's that?
1385
00:57:20,738 --> 00:57:22,871
A monkey and dog are friends.
1386
00:57:22,873 --> 00:57:24,273
Not that. That!
1387
00:57:24,275 --> 00:57:27,476
And I've come
to finally take over the city.
1388
00:57:27,478 --> 00:57:29,611
But in order to do that,
1389
00:57:29,613 --> 00:57:33,582
I need to break my friends
out of a giant, scary prison.
1390
00:57:33,584 --> 00:57:34,917
Hey, guys, he means us!
1391
00:57:34,919 --> 00:57:36,118
Yay!
1392
00:57:36,120 --> 00:57:37,586
And I ain't talking about
1393
00:57:37,588 --> 00:57:40,422
those rogue losers
dressed in cosplay!
1394
00:57:40,424 --> 00:57:42,391
Oh!
Me-ouch.
1395
00:57:42,393 --> 00:57:44,760
I'm talking about my new peeps!
1396
00:57:44,762 --> 00:57:46,495
And they're just like me.
1397
00:57:46,497 --> 00:57:49,832
The greatest villains
you'll ever see.
1398
00:57:49,834 --> 00:57:50,999
You wanna meet them?
1399
00:57:51,001 --> 00:57:52,734
No.
Too bad.
1400
00:57:53,970 --> 00:57:55,604
He's evil, he's magic,
1401
00:57:55,606 --> 00:57:58,607
and it's about to get tragic.
1402
00:57:58,609 --> 00:58:00,309
It's Voldemort.
1403
00:58:00,311 --> 00:58:01,677
Magic!
1404
00:58:03,179 --> 00:58:04,780
You are a fish.
1405
00:58:04,782 --> 00:58:05,914
You are a frog.
1406
00:58:05,916 --> 00:58:07,749
You are a fish frog.
1407
00:58:07,751 --> 00:58:09,751
He's a 9,000-year-old
incarnation of evil,
1408
00:58:09,753 --> 00:58:11,620
with an eye for jewelry.
1409
00:58:11,622 --> 00:58:13,355
Give it up for Sauron!
1410
00:58:13,357 --> 00:58:15,757
Good afternoon, Gotham city.
1411
00:58:20,598 --> 00:58:23,098
He likes long, violent
walks on historic buildings.
1412
00:58:23,100 --> 00:58:24,633
It's king Kong!
1413
00:58:24,635 --> 00:58:26,335
Come at me, Gotham!
1414
00:58:27,805 --> 00:58:29,171
Commissioner Gordon,
1415
00:58:29,173 --> 00:58:31,673
these monsters,
they're too powerful.
1416
00:58:31,675 --> 00:58:33,775
Can you contain them
to downtown?
1417
00:58:33,777 --> 00:58:35,177
That's gonna be impossible.
1418
00:58:35,179 --> 00:58:37,045
Half the police force are fish!
1419
00:58:37,047 --> 00:58:39,648
Sergeant Jackson!
Stop floppin' around!
1420
00:58:39,650 --> 00:58:41,950
And rounding out
the evil all-stars,
1421
00:58:41,952 --> 00:58:43,218
wicked witch!
1422
00:58:43,220 --> 00:58:44,620
Medusa.
1423
00:58:44,622 --> 00:58:46,221
And British robots!
1424
00:58:46,223 --> 00:58:47,489
Exterminate!
1425
00:58:47,491 --> 00:58:48,724
Ask your nerd friends.
1426
00:58:49,392 --> 00:58:51,894
Hello? Bad guys?
1427
00:58:55,733 --> 00:58:59,001
What a crew, huh?
And they all work for me!
1428
00:58:59,003 --> 00:59:02,971
Who's the greatest villain
of them all now, Batman?
1429
00:59:02,973 --> 00:59:04,640
Still not you.
1430
00:59:04,642 --> 00:59:06,475
Actually, this does look
pretty terrifying, bat-dad.
1431
00:59:06,477 --> 00:59:07,643
Whee!
1432
00:59:07,645 --> 00:59:09,311
Nice destruction all around.
1433
00:59:09,313 --> 00:59:10,479
Watch your step!
1434
00:59:10,481 --> 00:59:12,080
Good work, guys!
1435
00:59:12,082 --> 00:59:14,216
Now, all that's left for me
1436
00:59:14,218 --> 00:59:17,319
is to rub it
in Batman's bat face.
1437
00:59:17,321 --> 00:59:19,755
Hey, Sauron,
doesn't your flaming eye
1438
00:59:19,757 --> 00:59:22,758
have a unique ability to
peer through time and space?
1439
00:59:22,760 --> 00:59:24,026
Uh-huh.
1440
00:59:24,028 --> 00:59:25,193
Well, I need to find Batman.
1441
00:59:25,195 --> 00:59:26,762
Where's homeboy's man cave?
1442
00:59:26,764 --> 00:59:28,730
Hmm. Give me a second.
1443
00:59:28,732 --> 00:59:30,032
Scary noise.
1444
00:59:30,034 --> 00:59:31,900
It's beneath Wayne manor!
1445
00:59:31,902 --> 00:59:34,202
Whoa! Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
Hold on a sec.
1446
00:59:34,204 --> 00:59:36,038
Are you trying to tell me
1447
00:59:36,040 --> 00:59:38,774
that Bruce Wayne is Batman...
1448
00:59:39,542 --> 00:59:41,276
's roommate?
1449
00:59:41,278 --> 00:59:43,712
Uh... yeah.
1450
00:59:43,714 --> 00:59:46,915
Evil army,
this way to the batcave!
1451
00:59:51,120 --> 00:59:52,187
Good grief!
1452
01:00:04,868 --> 01:00:06,401
Hey, Batman!
1453
01:00:06,403 --> 01:00:09,404
Joker's home.
1454
01:00:09,406 --> 01:00:12,574
I'm rubbing my butt
all over your stuff.
1455
01:00:12,576 --> 01:00:14,743
We're going to have to
rename this the butt-mobile.
1456
01:00:16,714 --> 01:00:17,946
Hey, evil army.
1457
01:00:17,948 --> 01:00:19,548
I need Batman brought here.
1458
01:00:19,550 --> 01:00:21,049
Now go get him!
1459
01:00:21,051 --> 01:00:22,484
Joker out!
1460
01:00:25,622 --> 01:00:28,056
Uh... Padre?
1461
01:00:28,058 --> 01:00:29,224
Yeah?
1462
01:00:29,226 --> 01:00:30,692
Do you ever get scared?
1463
01:00:31,227 --> 01:00:33,261
No.
1464
01:00:33,263 --> 01:00:36,565
Yeah, that's what I figured,
'cause you're Batman.
1465
01:00:42,905 --> 01:00:46,608
Hey, kid.
You know who does get scared?
1466
01:00:46,610 --> 01:00:47,676
Who?
1467
01:00:47,678 --> 01:00:49,177
Bruce Wayne.
1468
01:00:49,179 --> 01:00:51,179
Really?
Yeah.
1469
01:00:51,181 --> 01:00:52,981
Bruno told me once
1470
01:00:52,983 --> 01:00:56,418
that sometimes the only way
to get out of a down moment
1471
01:00:56,420 --> 01:00:58,487
is to start boxing.
1472
01:00:58,489 --> 01:01:00,622
And by "boxing," he meant
1473
01:01:00,624 --> 01:01:02,157
beatboxing.
1474
01:01:02,159 --> 01:01:03,592
Oh!
1475
01:01:11,969 --> 01:01:13,035
Oh. Um...
1476
01:01:18,708 --> 01:01:20,942
Oh, my gosh.
This does make me feel better.
1477
01:01:20,944 --> 01:01:22,277
Okay. Shh. Batman solo.
1478
01:01:26,216 --> 01:01:28,784
The bat-fax!
1479
01:01:28,786 --> 01:01:31,053
Ha! The city needs me.
Bang, bang, bang!
1480
01:01:31,055 --> 01:01:32,621
Excuse me.
1481
01:01:32,623 --> 01:01:34,723
Can you get the commissioner
and show her this?
1482
01:01:34,725 --> 01:01:35,991
Batman.
1483
01:01:35,993 --> 01:01:37,626
Would you stop doing that?
1484
01:01:37,628 --> 01:01:40,228
I sent the bat-fax.
1485
01:01:40,230 --> 01:01:42,297
I hate to say this,
but you're right.
1486
01:01:42,299 --> 01:01:43,465
The city needs you.
1487
01:01:43,467 --> 01:01:45,033
Yes! Let me out.
1488
01:01:45,035 --> 01:01:47,703
I'm only going to let you out
on one condition.
1489
01:01:47,705 --> 01:01:48,870
Name it.
1490
01:01:48,872 --> 01:01:50,672
You can't do it by yourself.
1491
01:01:53,176 --> 01:01:54,743
Fine. Who
am I working with?
1492
01:01:54,745 --> 01:01:57,379
Seal team six? Fox force five?
Suicide squad?
1493
01:01:57,381 --> 01:01:59,581
No. Me.
1494
01:01:59,583 --> 01:02:00,849
Oh, I wanna help, too!
1495
01:02:00,851 --> 01:02:02,384
And I shall join as well.
Whoa!
1496
01:02:02,386 --> 01:02:04,186
Alfred pennyworth
at your service, ma'am.
1497
01:02:04,188 --> 01:02:05,754
How did you...
Alfred, you gotta let me
1498
01:02:05,756 --> 01:02:07,556
out of here.
Sir, those creatures
1499
01:02:07,558 --> 01:02:09,491
out there are unlike
anything we've ever seen.
1500
01:02:09,493 --> 01:02:11,727
Speak for yourself. You don't
know everything I've seen.
1501
01:02:11,729 --> 01:02:13,095
I haven't told you everything.
1502
01:02:13,097 --> 01:02:15,564
And you'll never be able
to defeat them alone.
1503
01:02:15,566 --> 01:02:17,766
And it'll be more fun
if we all do it together!
1504
01:02:17,768 --> 01:02:19,735
What's the worst thing
that could happen?
1505
01:02:19,737 --> 01:02:21,670
What are you so afraid of?
1506
01:02:21,672 --> 01:02:23,638
The thing I'm most afraid of?
1507
01:02:28,678 --> 01:02:31,012
I gotta be honest with you.
It's snake clowns.
1508
01:02:31,014 --> 01:02:32,347
Yeah, that's not a thing.
1509
01:02:32,349 --> 01:02:33,949
Well then, nothing.
1510
01:02:33,951 --> 01:02:37,018
I'm not afraid of anything.
Okay.
1511
01:02:37,020 --> 01:02:38,420
Prove it.
1512
01:02:38,422 --> 01:02:40,188
Oh, I will.
Good.
1513
01:02:40,190 --> 01:02:42,624
Do you know what the b-a-t
in Batman stands for?
1514
01:02:42,626 --> 01:02:44,926
Not really.
Best at teamwork.
1515
01:02:44,928 --> 01:02:47,596
Best at teamwork man
is my full name.
1516
01:02:47,598 --> 01:02:49,531
Yay! We're going
on a family trip.
1517
01:02:49,533 --> 01:02:51,266
This is not a family trip.
1518
01:02:51,268 --> 01:02:52,601
I can wear my costume, too.
1519
01:02:52,603 --> 01:02:53,935
Well, luckily for us,
1520
01:02:53,937 --> 01:02:54,870
you left your costume
back at the...
1521
01:02:54,872 --> 01:02:56,304
Rip!
Oh!
1522
01:02:56,306 --> 01:02:58,640
Nope. Under your clothes.
That's perfect.
1523
01:02:58,642 --> 01:03:01,143
Rip! Alfred, what are you doing?
1524
01:03:01,145 --> 01:03:02,277
I miss the '60s.
1525
01:03:02,279 --> 01:03:03,812
Hey, can scarecrow help?
1526
01:03:03,814 --> 01:03:05,781
Yeah! He's destroying
our city, too!
1527
01:03:05,783 --> 01:03:07,649
Permit us
to lend you assistance.
1528
01:03:07,651 --> 01:03:09,451
Yeah. Why don't we
use these guys?
1529
01:03:09,453 --> 01:03:10,986
What am I gonna do?
Get a bunch
1530
01:03:10,988 --> 01:03:12,454
of criminals together
to fight the criminals?
1531
01:03:12,456 --> 01:03:14,022
That's a stupid idea.
1532
01:03:17,627 --> 01:03:19,661
Okay, guys. Game plan.
1533
01:03:19,663 --> 01:03:21,963
Joker's taken the projector to Wayne manor.
Wayne manor.
1534
01:03:21,965 --> 01:03:23,565
Right. Thanks, Batman.
1535
01:03:23,567 --> 01:03:24,966
We need that projector.
Projector.
1536
01:03:24,968 --> 01:03:26,835
Or there's no way to
blast these monsters
1537
01:03:26,837 --> 01:03:28,637
back to the phantom zone. Monsters.
Phantom zone? Yep.
1538
01:03:28,639 --> 01:03:30,305
Batman, I really don't
need you to finish my...
1539
01:03:30,307 --> 01:03:31,473
Sand castles.
No.
1540
01:03:31,475 --> 01:03:32,741
Sister's homework.
No.
1541
01:03:32,743 --> 01:03:34,509
Succulent something.
No.
1542
01:03:34,511 --> 01:03:36,077
Um... everybody?
1543
01:03:36,079 --> 01:03:39,080
Batman is in arkham asylum.
1544
01:03:39,082 --> 01:03:40,916
Get him!
1545
01:03:40,918 --> 01:03:42,217
Okay, everyone, grab on to me.
1546
01:03:42,985 --> 01:03:44,386
Whoa!
1547
01:03:48,524 --> 01:03:49,858
We've gotta take cover!
1548
01:03:49,860 --> 01:03:51,326
Whoa!
1549
01:03:51,328 --> 01:03:52,661
Joker has eyes on us.
1550
01:03:52,663 --> 01:03:53,929
Where?
1551
01:03:53,931 --> 01:03:55,197
No! I mean,
1552
01:03:55,199 --> 01:03:57,499
he literally has
a giant eye on us.
1553
01:03:57,501 --> 01:03:59,501
I think that thing
can see our every move!
1554
01:03:59,503 --> 01:04:00,769
Shaka-laka-lako.
1555
01:04:00,771 --> 01:04:03,004
We've got to destroy it,
1556
01:04:03,006 --> 01:04:04,506
or we'll never
make it to Wayne manor.
1557
01:04:04,508 --> 01:04:05,807
Uh... bat-dad?
1558
01:04:05,809 --> 01:04:07,175
I really think
you should see this.
1559
01:04:07,177 --> 01:04:09,444
Building survey!
1560
01:04:09,446 --> 01:04:11,213
This building's not up to code!
1561
01:04:17,954 --> 01:04:19,855
Gotcha.
1562
01:04:23,059 --> 01:04:24,359
Is that real lava?
1563
01:04:26,028 --> 01:04:27,095
I'm okay.
1564
01:04:29,198 --> 01:04:30,866
All right, yeah.
It's 100% lava.
1565
01:04:32,469 --> 01:04:34,369
Everyone,
start throwing me bricks.
1566
01:04:34,371 --> 01:04:35,804
Right away, sir. I need a 4x6.
Come on, quick.
1567
01:04:35,806 --> 01:04:36,872
- Here you go.
- I need an elbow.
1568
01:04:36,874 --> 01:04:37,939
Elbow.
1569
01:04:44,380 --> 01:04:45,447
Ow!
1570
01:04:50,486 --> 01:04:51,720
Whoo!
1571
01:04:51,722 --> 01:04:54,055
Yes! I did it.
Pretty cool, huh?
1572
01:04:54,057 --> 01:04:55,724
- Batman?
- Yeah?
1573
01:04:55,726 --> 01:04:58,260
Why did you build this thing
with only one seat?
1574
01:04:58,262 --> 01:04:59,527
'Cause last I checked,
1575
01:04:59,529 --> 01:05:02,230
I only had one butt.
What the...
1576
01:05:02,232 --> 01:05:04,833
What have you done
to Wayne manor?
1577
01:05:04,835 --> 01:05:06,768
Hey, Batman, guess what!
1578
01:05:06,770 --> 01:05:08,603
I found out one of your secrets.
1579
01:05:08,605 --> 01:05:11,339
Uh-oh. What do we
have here, Batman?
1580
01:05:11,341 --> 01:05:13,575
It looks like a bunch
of relationship comedies.
1581
01:05:13,577 --> 01:05:15,443
What's that one?
Must love dogs.
1582
01:05:15,445 --> 01:05:16,745
Must love crying.
1583
01:05:16,747 --> 01:05:18,780
Marley & me.
I love the ending.
1584
01:05:18,782 --> 01:05:21,616
Oh! Serendipity?
1585
01:05:21,618 --> 01:05:23,418
We have serendipity?
I love that movie!
1586
01:05:23,420 --> 01:05:25,353
For a loner, Batman,
1587
01:05:25,355 --> 01:05:28,857
you sure like movies
about relationships!
1588
01:05:28,859 --> 01:05:30,425
Oh! And look
what else I found!
1589
01:05:30,427 --> 01:05:32,661
All your wonderful toys.
1590
01:05:34,964 --> 01:05:38,833
Accio lightning storm!
1591
01:05:39,869 --> 01:05:41,603
Uh... everyone, hold on.
1592
01:05:47,643 --> 01:05:50,712
Gremlins,
dismantle that plane now!
1593
01:05:51,948 --> 01:05:53,448
Ugly monsters on our three.
1594
01:05:54,952 --> 01:05:56,785
Uh... Padre?
Not now, kid.
1595
01:05:58,554 --> 01:06:00,188
Kind of got my hands full.
1596
01:06:01,958 --> 01:06:04,059
I've got good tone.
Firing.
1597
01:06:07,964 --> 01:06:10,165
Uh... Batman?
What's up, buddy?
1598
01:06:10,167 --> 01:06:11,666
Are we nearly at Wayne manor?
1599
01:06:11,668 --> 01:06:13,234
Why?
1600
01:06:13,236 --> 01:06:15,303
Uh... your number two
needs to go number one.
1601
01:06:15,305 --> 01:06:17,639
I thought I told you
to go back at the prison.
1602
01:06:17,641 --> 01:06:19,641
I tried. Bane was in there. So?
1603
01:06:19,643 --> 01:06:22,077
He had sort of a "get out
of this bathroom now" vibe.
1604
01:06:22,079 --> 01:06:24,646
I knew I shouldn't
have given you that water.
1605
01:06:26,315 --> 01:06:28,650
Can you hold it in
like a big boy?
1606
01:06:28,652 --> 01:06:30,251
Engine one down.
1607
01:06:30,253 --> 01:06:31,486
Not a big deal. Don't worry
about it. It's fine.
1608
01:06:31,488 --> 01:06:32,587
Engine two down.
1609
01:06:32,589 --> 01:06:33,989
It does that sometimes.
1610
01:06:33,991 --> 01:06:35,156
We've lost engine three.
1611
01:06:35,158 --> 01:06:36,558
Oh. Could live without it.
1612
01:06:38,260 --> 01:06:39,828
Engine four!
1613
01:06:41,498 --> 01:06:42,964
That I do need to fix.
1614
01:06:42,966 --> 01:06:45,100
Good news. Our bathroom
problem is solved.
1615
01:06:47,670 --> 01:06:49,437
You three wait here
while I go fix the engine.
1616
01:06:49,439 --> 01:06:52,340
Don't worry, Batman.
You fix the batwing, I'll fly.
1617
01:06:52,342 --> 01:06:54,175
All good, babs.
I've got my autopilot on it.
1618
01:06:54,177 --> 01:06:55,610
Done.
1619
01:06:55,612 --> 01:06:57,712
Autopilot?
That's just a rope!
1620
01:06:57,714 --> 01:07:00,849
Exactly. All right, guys. Until
I get back, rope's in charge.
1621
01:07:00,851 --> 01:07:02,450
Thanks, rope.
1622
01:07:05,021 --> 01:07:06,221
All right, let's see.
1623
01:07:06,223 --> 01:07:07,889
Yes, the piston brake out here.
1624
01:07:07,891 --> 01:07:11,693
Jet engine brake in here and...
1625
01:07:11,695 --> 01:07:13,862
Get out of here. No.
Give me... no! Stop it!
1626
01:07:13,864 --> 01:07:15,563
Come on, master dick.
We need to help him.
1627
01:07:15,565 --> 01:07:16,731
I'm with you, grandpa!
1628
01:07:16,733 --> 01:07:18,033
Get off my padre!
1629
01:07:18,035 --> 01:07:20,135
Unhand him,
you animatronic fiends.
1630
01:07:20,137 --> 01:07:21,536
What are you two doing here?
1631
01:07:21,538 --> 01:07:24,205
I told you
to stay in the cockpit.
1632
01:07:24,207 --> 01:07:26,207
You disobeyed me.
You're on a timeout.
1633
01:07:26,209 --> 01:07:27,909
Batman, you're on a timeout.
1634
01:07:27,911 --> 01:07:30,378
What? Alfred, you better
un-timeout me right now!
1635
01:07:30,380 --> 01:07:32,814
No. Not until
you un-timeout master dick.
1636
01:07:34,084 --> 01:07:35,917
Guys, you're all
un-timeouted!
1637
01:07:35,919 --> 01:07:37,652
We have incoming!
1638
01:07:37,654 --> 01:07:39,494
Sir! Watch out for those...
What are you doing?
1639
01:07:45,228 --> 01:07:46,928
Okay. Everybody,
timeout off.
1640
01:07:46,930 --> 01:07:48,663
Whoo-hoo!
I've been parented.
1641
01:07:48,665 --> 01:07:50,899
Batman, I can help you.
No. Protect the rope.
1642
01:07:50,901 --> 01:07:52,567
The rope is fine!
1643
01:07:52,569 --> 01:07:53,735
Save master dick!
1644
01:07:53,737 --> 01:07:55,003
I'm fine. I'll just do
1645
01:07:55,005 --> 01:07:56,571
one of my gymnastics moves to...
1646
01:07:58,074 --> 01:07:59,240
No!
1647
01:08:04,914 --> 01:08:06,014
Dick...
1648
01:08:09,685 --> 01:08:10,919
Gotcha!
1649
01:08:14,423 --> 01:08:16,491
Hold on, Alfred.
I'm almost there!
1650
01:08:17,927 --> 01:08:19,194
No!
1651
01:08:21,764 --> 01:08:23,698
Alfred!
1652
01:08:32,608 --> 01:08:33,842
No.
1653
01:08:38,447 --> 01:08:40,014
No!
1654
01:08:41,117 --> 01:08:42,283
Move over, rope.
1655
01:08:44,454 --> 01:08:45,620
Hold on!
1656
01:08:59,401 --> 01:09:00,468
Gotcha!
1657
01:09:01,670 --> 01:09:02,971
Barbara, did you see that?
1658
01:09:02,973 --> 01:09:04,639
Batrope saved Alfred.
1659
01:09:04,641 --> 01:09:07,342
Sick moves, rope.
I never doubted you, bro.
1660
01:09:07,344 --> 01:09:09,644
Actually, sir,
Ms. Gordon saved him.
1661
01:09:09,646 --> 01:09:11,813
Rope! You lied to me!
1662
01:09:11,815 --> 01:09:14,516
Wait a minute.
You mean, without you,
1663
01:09:14,518 --> 01:09:15,884
Alfred would have been
1664
01:09:16,585 --> 01:09:18,153
street meat?
1665
01:09:18,155 --> 01:09:20,822
Batman, trust us.
1666
01:09:20,824 --> 01:09:22,757
We can do this.
1667
01:09:22,759 --> 01:09:24,659
Yeah. I know gymkata.
1668
01:09:24,661 --> 01:09:25,827
Sorry, what's that?
1669
01:09:25,829 --> 01:09:27,829
It's a gymnastics-based
martial art.
1670
01:09:27,831 --> 01:09:30,098
I can punch those
'80s monsters off the plane.
1671
01:09:30,100 --> 01:09:31,866
Uh... okay.
1672
01:09:31,868 --> 01:09:34,002
Multiple bogeys on our six.
1673
01:09:34,004 --> 01:09:35,503
Sir, I'll get them off our back.
1674
01:09:35,505 --> 01:09:37,172
I was a tail gunner
for the royal air force.
1675
01:09:37,174 --> 01:09:38,673
Locked and loaded, sir!
1676
01:09:38,675 --> 01:09:40,108
Good. Love that!
1677
01:09:40,110 --> 01:09:41,843
I got an idea.
We're gonna change course.
1678
01:09:41,845 --> 01:09:44,045
I want you to fly straight
into that flaming eyeball.
1679
01:09:44,047 --> 01:09:47,615
What?
Barbara, trust me.
1680
01:09:47,617 --> 01:09:49,851
All right.
Let's do this.
1681
01:09:57,060 --> 01:09:58,860
We got a giant
sea monster, 12 o'clock!
1682
01:09:58,862 --> 01:09:59,928
Got it.
1683
01:10:01,397 --> 01:10:03,698
We've got his attention.
He's tracking us.
1684
01:10:08,304 --> 01:10:10,104
I've got you now.
1685
01:10:14,643 --> 01:10:16,411
Eat dirt!
1686
01:10:16,413 --> 01:10:18,713
Bob's your uncle,
you ruddy duff cobblers!
1687
01:10:25,054 --> 01:10:26,754
Okay, babs, this is it.
1688
01:10:26,756 --> 01:10:28,923
Fly us straight into that eye,
and wait for my signal.
1689
01:10:28,925 --> 01:10:30,258
Can it come now?
1690
01:10:30,260 --> 01:10:31,893
Can we make
the signal thing happen?
1691
01:10:31,895 --> 01:10:32,994
Almost there.
1692
01:10:32,996 --> 01:10:34,996
Almost there!
1693
01:10:34,998 --> 01:10:37,265
- Fire!
- Almost there!
1694
01:10:37,267 --> 01:10:38,600
That fire's coming in hot!
1695
01:10:38,602 --> 01:10:40,235
Hot, hot, hot!
1696
01:10:40,237 --> 01:10:41,803
Now! Barbara, dive bomb!
1697
01:10:44,740 --> 01:10:46,507
My eye!
1698
01:10:48,445 --> 01:10:50,745
Sauron!
1699
01:10:56,118 --> 01:10:57,652
Nothing to see.
1700
01:11:04,293 --> 01:11:05,693
Whoo-hoo!
1701
01:11:05,695 --> 01:11:07,862
Yes! That was so rad!
We did it, everyone!
1702
01:11:07,864 --> 01:11:10,431
That was so great! Go team!
Come on, let's hear it for us!
1703
01:11:10,433 --> 01:11:11,766
That was incredible!
1704
01:11:11,768 --> 01:11:12,934
I felt so jazzed!
1705
01:11:12,936 --> 01:11:14,569
I say "jazzed"!
1706
01:11:14,571 --> 01:11:16,638
I gotta give it to you,
Batman. That was awesome.
1707
01:11:16,640 --> 01:11:18,106
Ha! And you were awesome.
Thanks.
1708
01:11:18,108 --> 01:11:19,540
And you were awesome.
I love compliments!
1709
01:11:19,542 --> 01:11:21,376
And you were awesome,
and I was amazing.
1710
01:11:21,378 --> 01:11:23,278
I'm not trying to make
it about myself, obviously.
1711
01:11:23,280 --> 01:11:24,545
But I just wanna make sure
1712
01:11:24,547 --> 01:11:25,980
that everyone
gets a pat on the back.
1713
01:11:25,982 --> 01:11:27,649
Because it feels good.
It does feel good.
1714
01:11:27,651 --> 01:11:29,150
You had a good idea,
you had a good idea,
1715
01:11:29,152 --> 01:11:31,286
and you had a good idea,
and I had a great idea.
1716
01:11:31,288 --> 01:11:34,122
You know what, I think that
collectively, I'm gonna add...
1717
01:11:35,157 --> 01:11:36,791
one.
1718
01:11:36,793 --> 01:11:38,159
No way!
Yes!
1719
01:11:38,161 --> 01:11:39,460
Man, that feels good.
1720
01:11:39,462 --> 01:11:41,129
Best team ever!
1721
01:11:41,131 --> 01:11:43,231
Let's take a photo!
1722
01:11:43,233 --> 01:11:44,565
All right, everyone, squeeze together.
Hang on a second.
1723
01:11:44,567 --> 01:11:46,100
Nice and close!
I gotta get my pump on.
1724
01:11:46,102 --> 01:11:47,568
It's worth it.
Okay, everybody in?
1725
01:11:47,570 --> 01:11:48,803
These abs are no fluke.
1726
01:11:48,805 --> 01:11:50,905
Everyone say,
"bat family!"
1727
01:11:50,907 --> 01:11:52,040
Bat family!
1728
01:11:52,808 --> 01:11:54,208
Ooh, let's take a look!
1729
01:11:55,311 --> 01:11:56,644
Look at that!
1730
01:11:56,646 --> 01:11:58,179
Splendid.
Wow.
1731
01:11:58,181 --> 01:11:59,881
Didn't it turn out great?
1732
01:12:01,150 --> 01:12:03,384
Hey, guys!
It's my first family photo!
1733
01:12:33,349 --> 01:12:34,849
Hey, bat-dad.
Oh!
1734
01:12:34,851 --> 01:12:36,684
Whoa. What are you doing?
1735
01:12:36,686 --> 01:12:39,053
I'm trying to give you
a big, old h-u-g.
1736
01:12:39,055 --> 01:12:40,555
Okay, just...
1737
01:12:41,857 --> 01:12:44,559
Batman, are you okay?
1738
01:12:44,561 --> 01:12:46,394
Yeah, I'm fine.
1739
01:12:46,396 --> 01:12:48,696
We are just one big happy
1740
01:12:48,698 --> 01:12:50,498
fraternity of people
1741
01:12:50,500 --> 01:12:52,100
who did an awesome job together.
1742
01:12:53,702 --> 01:12:55,503
I can't think
of any other way to put that.
1743
01:12:55,505 --> 01:12:58,005
Cool.
So, guys, listen up!
1744
01:12:58,007 --> 01:12:59,741
Taking the projector
from the joker
1745
01:12:59,743 --> 01:13:02,043
is gonna be our most
dangerous mission yet.
1746
01:13:02,045 --> 01:13:04,078
A family battle mission!
Right.
1747
01:13:04,080 --> 01:13:06,381
Salvage what you can out of the
scuttler, and maybe root around,
1748
01:13:06,383 --> 01:13:08,049
see if you can find
a few vitaminwaters
1749
01:13:08,051 --> 01:13:09,517
or something,
and then we'll head out.
1750
01:13:09,519 --> 01:13:11,419
Right away, sir.
Anything for you, padre.
1751
01:13:16,258 --> 01:13:18,226
I think I'll need snowshoes.
1752
01:13:18,228 --> 01:13:20,094
Yeah, I don't think
you'll need snowshoes,
1753
01:13:20,096 --> 01:13:21,896
but could you grab
that flashlight?
1754
01:13:21,898 --> 01:13:23,097
Batman?
Padre?
1755
01:13:23,099 --> 01:13:24,365
Sir?
1756
01:13:24,367 --> 01:13:27,034
What are you doing?
Hey, Batman.
1757
01:13:27,036 --> 01:13:28,436
Please, wait!
1758
01:13:28,438 --> 01:13:29,604
'Puter.
1759
01:13:31,440 --> 01:13:32,774
Yes, sir?
1760
01:13:32,776 --> 01:13:34,575
I'm locking in
some coordinates now.
1761
01:13:35,912 --> 01:13:37,912
Take the scuttler
to the taco stand
1762
01:13:37,914 --> 01:13:39,747
on the border of Gotham city
and bludhaven.
1763
01:13:39,749 --> 01:13:41,416
No!
1764
01:13:41,418 --> 01:13:43,418
I want you to get these guys
a couple of chimichangas
1765
01:13:43,420 --> 01:13:46,087
and three jarritos.
Sir!
1766
01:13:46,089 --> 01:13:49,223
And then keep them there until this
whole attack on Gotham city blows over.
1767
01:13:49,225 --> 01:13:52,093
Padre, please.
Don't do this!
1768
01:13:52,095 --> 01:13:54,429
Batman, you need us!
1769
01:13:54,431 --> 01:13:56,931
How many times I gotta tell you?
1770
01:13:56,933 --> 01:13:59,767
Batman works alone.
1771
01:13:59,769 --> 01:14:01,502
No, we have to stick together.
1772
01:14:02,771 --> 01:14:03,938
Please.
1773
01:14:03,940 --> 01:14:06,741
Now go on,
scuttler. Go!
1774
01:14:06,743 --> 01:14:08,743
- Go! Just get outta here.
- Batman.
1775
01:14:08,745 --> 01:14:09,944
Padre!
Get moving!
1776
01:14:09,946 --> 01:14:11,312
Please!
1777
01:14:11,314 --> 01:14:13,114
Just go.
1778
01:14:13,116 --> 01:14:15,416
Batman! Please, wait!
Scuttler, move out!
1779
01:14:15,418 --> 01:14:17,285
You're doing the wrong thing!
1780
01:14:17,287 --> 01:14:19,620
Listen to me! Don't do this!
Sir, please. Sir!
1781
01:14:19,622 --> 01:14:21,022
No!
1782
01:14:42,811 --> 01:14:45,146
- Scanning for intruders.
- Scanning for intruders.
1783
01:14:45,148 --> 01:14:46,714
Scanning for intruders.
1784
01:14:49,985 --> 01:14:51,152
Hi, bats.
1785
01:14:51,154 --> 01:14:52,820
What have you done to my...
1786
01:14:52,822 --> 01:14:54,489
Bruce Wayne's house?
1787
01:14:54,491 --> 01:14:56,324
You'd better hope
he's a cool guy
1788
01:14:56,326 --> 01:14:57,625
and doesn't go crazy.
1789
01:14:57,627 --> 01:14:59,327
What happened
to all your friends?
1790
01:14:59,329 --> 01:15:00,995
I don't need friends.
1791
01:15:00,997 --> 01:15:02,597
I don't need anyone to stop you.
1792
01:15:04,634 --> 01:15:06,167
Are you sure about that?
1793
01:15:06,169 --> 01:15:08,035
Look in the mirror, Batman.
1794
01:15:09,672 --> 01:15:13,341
When I saw you working
with your friend-family,
1795
01:15:13,343 --> 01:15:15,076
I actually thought
you'd changed.
1796
01:15:15,711 --> 01:15:16,978
But, no.
1797
01:15:16,980 --> 01:15:18,446
You pushed them away.
1798
01:15:21,850 --> 01:15:24,719
You've run away from every
other person in your life.
1799
01:15:24,721 --> 01:15:27,355
But I'm the one
you're always chasing.
1800
01:15:27,357 --> 01:15:29,824
Is this about that stupid
"greatest enemy" thing?
1801
01:15:29,826 --> 01:15:31,392
No, it's not.
1802
01:15:32,661 --> 01:15:33,961
Not anymore.
1803
01:15:33,963 --> 01:15:35,229
You tell him, joker!
1804
01:15:35,231 --> 01:15:36,731
It's time for a fresh start.
1805
01:15:36,733 --> 01:15:38,032
He's not worth it.
1806
01:15:38,034 --> 01:15:41,536
I think after 78 years,
I deserve respect!
1807
01:15:41,538 --> 01:15:44,005
That is right. Respect!
1808
01:15:44,007 --> 01:15:48,242
Do you realize
that you have never once
1809
01:15:48,244 --> 01:15:50,077
said the words,
1810
01:15:50,079 --> 01:15:51,712
"I hate you, joker"?
1811
01:15:51,714 --> 01:15:52,880
Not once.
1812
01:15:52,882 --> 01:15:54,582
Well, I am starting to feel
1813
01:15:54,584 --> 01:15:56,250
pretty annoyed
with you right now.
1814
01:15:56,252 --> 01:15:57,485
That's for darn sure.
1815
01:15:57,487 --> 01:16:00,421
Annoyed is not the same thing!
1816
01:16:00,423 --> 01:16:02,456
Listen, Batman.
1817
01:16:02,891 --> 01:16:04,859
I...
1818
01:16:04,861 --> 01:16:06,227
Hate you.
1819
01:16:06,229 --> 01:16:07,995
Aww!
That's nice.
1820
01:16:08,730 --> 01:16:09,964
Now you say it.
1821
01:16:12,067 --> 01:16:13,100
Me, too.
1822
01:16:16,905 --> 01:16:19,540
You won't.
You won't change.
1823
01:16:19,542 --> 01:16:22,410
'Cause you can't.
You won't, and you can't.
1824
01:16:22,412 --> 01:16:24,045
Batman will never change.
1825
01:16:24,047 --> 01:16:26,247
You know what, boo-boo?
Just shut it down.
1826
01:16:26,249 --> 01:16:28,449
These diseased lunatics
are right.
1827
01:16:28,451 --> 01:16:29,617
Yes, we are!
1828
01:16:29,619 --> 01:16:32,086
I am not gonna be part
1829
01:16:32,088 --> 01:16:34,889
of a one-sided relationship
any longer!
1830
01:16:34,891 --> 01:16:36,290
Yes!
What are you talking about?
1831
01:16:36,292 --> 01:16:38,092
You and I are done!
What is wrong with you?
1832
01:16:38,094 --> 01:16:39,226
I'm moving on!
1833
01:16:39,228 --> 01:16:40,595
That's ridiculous.
1834
01:16:40,597 --> 01:16:42,563
And on my way out,
1835
01:16:42,565 --> 01:16:45,733
I'm gonna blow up Gotham city!
1836
01:16:45,735 --> 01:16:47,768
No. You're not serious.
1837
01:16:47,770 --> 01:16:50,738
Wingardium leviosa!
No!
1838
01:16:50,740 --> 01:16:52,940
You know what? For once,
Batman, you're right.
1839
01:16:52,942 --> 01:16:55,409
I'm not your greatest enemy.
1840
01:16:55,411 --> 01:16:57,278
Your greatest enemy
1841
01:16:57,280 --> 01:16:59,213
is you.
1842
01:16:59,215 --> 01:17:01,282
Goodbye, Batman. Wait a minute.
Hold on a second.
1843
01:17:01,284 --> 01:17:02,783
Good for you, boo-boo!
1844
01:17:02,785 --> 01:17:04,051
Yay!
1845
01:17:04,053 --> 01:17:05,453
Everybody, get a bomb.
Let's go.
1846
01:17:05,455 --> 01:17:07,154
Bomb, bomb, bomb.
Let's bomb it out.
1847
01:17:07,156 --> 01:17:08,289
Yay!
1848
01:17:11,927 --> 01:17:14,061
Say goodbye, Gotham city!
1849
01:17:25,140 --> 01:17:26,841
Whoa.
Hi!
1850
01:17:26,843 --> 01:17:28,342
Whoa!
1851
01:17:28,344 --> 01:17:30,011
Oh, I am so sorry.
1852
01:17:30,013 --> 01:17:31,512
It was all my fault,
I keep doing that.
1853
01:17:31,514 --> 01:17:33,948
Welcome to
the phantom zone, bad guy.
1854
01:17:33,950 --> 01:17:35,349
What are you talking about?
1855
01:17:35,351 --> 01:17:36,784
I'm not a bad guy.
1856
01:17:36,786 --> 01:17:38,319
But you're all in black.
You have a cape.
1857
01:17:38,321 --> 01:17:39,654
And you wear a big, scary mask.
1858
01:17:39,656 --> 01:17:40,955
Well, I'm not.
1859
01:17:40,957 --> 01:17:42,456
And you kicked me in the face.
1860
01:17:42,458 --> 01:17:44,425
Listen, I'm Batman.
1861
01:17:44,427 --> 01:17:46,494
Oof! You even
sound like a bad guy.
1862
01:17:46,496 --> 01:17:48,162
I swear, I am a good guy.
1863
01:17:48,164 --> 01:17:50,164
Okay, Mr. Batman.
1864
01:17:50,166 --> 01:17:51,999
Hold still while I scan you.
1865
01:17:52,001 --> 01:17:54,001
Scanning for badness.
1866
01:17:54,003 --> 01:17:55,636
Yes, sir?
1867
01:17:55,638 --> 01:17:57,038
You're super nimble, right?
I sure am!
1868
01:17:57,040 --> 01:17:59,206
And 110% expendable?
1869
01:17:59,208 --> 01:18:01,175
I don't know
what that means, but okay.
1870
01:18:01,177 --> 01:18:02,376
How'd I do, dad?
Mediocre.
1871
01:18:02,378 --> 01:18:04,645
Yes!
And don't call me dad.
1872
01:18:04,647 --> 01:18:05,713
Sorry.
1873
01:18:07,549 --> 01:18:08,883
Alfred, put that kid
1874
01:18:08,885 --> 01:18:10,818
on the next jet
to the orphanage.
1875
01:18:10,820 --> 01:18:12,853
But doesn't he deserve a chance
1876
01:18:12,855 --> 01:18:15,356
for someone to take him
under their wing,
1877
01:18:15,358 --> 01:18:18,526
as I took you under mine?
1878
01:18:18,528 --> 01:18:20,728
Listen, you don't have a family.
1879
01:18:20,730 --> 01:18:23,297
So what do you know about
having a surrogate son?
1880
01:18:26,868 --> 01:18:28,703
Batman!
1881
01:18:28,705 --> 01:18:30,905
We have to stick together.
1882
01:18:31,540 --> 01:18:32,640
Please.
1883
01:18:34,876 --> 01:18:38,145
Joker, you mean nothing to me.
1884
01:18:40,716 --> 01:18:41,982
No one does.
1885
01:18:45,721 --> 01:18:46,987
Huh.
1886
01:18:46,989 --> 01:18:49,590
You're not
a traditional bad guy.
1887
01:18:49,592 --> 01:18:52,259
But you're not exactly
a good guy, either.
1888
01:18:52,261 --> 01:18:53,894
- Batman?
- Padre?
1889
01:18:53,896 --> 01:18:55,730
You even abandoned your friends.
1890
01:18:55,732 --> 01:18:58,432
What?
Go on, scuttler. Go.
1891
01:18:58,434 --> 01:19:00,101
Batman, no. No!
Don't do this!
1892
01:19:00,103 --> 01:19:01,702
Abandoned? No.
1893
01:19:01,704 --> 01:19:03,404
No, I was trying
to protect them.
1894
01:19:03,406 --> 01:19:05,406
By pushing them away?
1895
01:19:05,408 --> 01:19:07,742
Well, yeah.
1896
01:19:07,744 --> 01:19:10,311
Are they really the ones
you're protecting?
1897
01:19:13,515 --> 01:19:15,583
Computer, Batman's in danger.
1898
01:19:15,585 --> 01:19:17,585
Please, computer, take us back!
1899
01:19:17,587 --> 01:19:19,954
Do you really want the man
who made you to come to harm?
1900
01:19:19,956 --> 01:19:21,922
Batman programmed me
to obey him.
1901
01:19:21,924 --> 01:19:24,592
But he didn't say
to not not rescue him.
1902
01:19:24,594 --> 01:19:26,894
What are they doing?
1903
01:19:26,896 --> 01:19:29,657
Come on, guys. Let's hustle. Gotham
city's not gonna blow itself up.
1904
01:19:30,265 --> 01:19:31,966
Well, hello!
1905
01:19:37,405 --> 01:19:39,740
'Puter, go to super-secret
stealth mode.
1906
01:19:42,812 --> 01:19:44,779
Hold on!
No!
1907
01:19:44,781 --> 01:19:46,447
Evil buddies,
those are my last three
1908
01:19:46,449 --> 01:19:48,883
painful reminders of Batman.
1909
01:19:48,885 --> 01:19:50,084
Run!
1910
01:19:50,086 --> 01:19:51,285
Come on, Alfred.
This way.
1911
01:19:51,287 --> 01:19:52,987
Wait, where's dick?
1912
01:19:52,989 --> 01:19:54,722
The little guy?
He's over there.
1913
01:19:54,724 --> 01:19:56,257
Initializing batcave
operating system.
1914
01:19:56,259 --> 01:19:57,725
What's he doing?
1915
01:19:57,727 --> 01:19:59,894
I've gotta save my family!
Just think.
1916
01:19:59,896 --> 01:20:01,128
What would Batman do?
1917
01:20:01,130 --> 01:20:02,496
What?
1918
01:20:02,498 --> 01:20:04,098
I know.
Not listen to anyone else.
1919
01:20:04,100 --> 01:20:05,332
Be mean to people.
1920
01:20:05,334 --> 01:20:07,067
Destroy as much property
as possible.
1921
01:20:07,069 --> 01:20:09,403
Talk in a really low,
gravelly voice.
1922
01:20:09,405 --> 01:20:11,138
And go it alone.
1923
01:20:11,140 --> 01:20:12,439
Kid, don't do that.
1924
01:20:12,441 --> 01:20:13,841
Atomic batteries to power.
1925
01:20:13,843 --> 01:20:14,942
Turbines to speed.
1926
01:20:14,944 --> 01:20:16,143
Don't do what I would do!
1927
01:20:16,145 --> 01:20:17,812
I never even taught you
how to drive!
1928
01:20:17,814 --> 01:20:19,914
Hold on a second, brick lady.
1929
01:20:19,916 --> 01:20:22,016
I'm so sorry. I need to get
down there and stop this.
1930
01:20:22,018 --> 01:20:23,317
I can't let you go.
1931
01:20:23,319 --> 01:20:24,752
My boss will be
really mad at me.
1932
01:20:24,754 --> 01:20:26,487
Yeah. But I bet
your boss would be happy
1933
01:20:26,489 --> 01:20:28,489
if you were able to get all
those bad guys back in here.
1934
01:20:28,491 --> 01:20:30,191
Hmm. She sure would.
1935
01:20:30,193 --> 01:20:31,525
Then let me try.
1936
01:20:31,527 --> 01:20:32,927
Let me get down there
and help them.
1937
01:20:32,929 --> 01:20:34,762
But haven't you
tried that before?
1938
01:20:36,198 --> 01:20:37,832
This way, Alfred.
1939
01:20:39,334 --> 01:20:41,769
You do the same thing
over and over.
1940
01:20:45,842 --> 01:20:47,541
What's gonna change?
1941
01:20:47,543 --> 01:20:48,742
No!
1942
01:20:50,512 --> 01:20:52,513
I know what I need to do.
1943
01:20:52,515 --> 01:20:54,849
Just give me 24 hours,
and I'll come back.
1944
01:20:56,184 --> 01:20:57,785
Whoa!
1945
01:20:57,787 --> 01:20:59,667
You've gotta let me go
down there and save them.
1946
01:21:01,623 --> 01:21:02,690
I'll do whatever you want.
1947
01:21:03,793 --> 01:21:04,859
Please.
1948
01:21:04,861 --> 01:21:06,193
Exterminate!
1949
01:21:06,195 --> 01:21:07,728
Please.
1950
01:21:07,730 --> 01:21:09,697
Okay, but I need all the bad
guys locked up in here.
1951
01:21:09,699 --> 01:21:10,798
I promise.
1952
01:21:13,201 --> 01:21:15,469
And I mean all of them.
1953
01:21:16,872 --> 01:21:19,240
One of these buttons
has to save my friends.
1954
01:21:19,242 --> 01:21:20,541
Self-destruct mode
activated.
1955
01:21:20,543 --> 01:21:21,642
Self what?
1956
01:21:22,745 --> 01:21:24,645
Master dick!
No!
1957
01:21:26,883 --> 01:21:28,649
Dick!
1958
01:21:28,651 --> 01:21:30,618
Look who's bat!
1959
01:21:32,087 --> 01:21:33,153
What?
1960
01:21:41,897 --> 01:21:44,498
Everyone okay?
Dick, Alfred, Barbara.
1961
01:21:44,500 --> 01:21:46,567
Are you guys...
We're fine, Batman.
1962
01:21:49,271 --> 01:21:52,640
Listen, I just wanted to say
1963
01:21:55,410 --> 01:21:57,144
that I'm really
1964
01:21:58,113 --> 01:22:00,481
really, really
1965
01:22:02,017 --> 01:22:03,751
really, really, really
1966
01:22:03,753 --> 01:22:05,152
really, really
1967
01:22:06,254 --> 01:22:07,855
s-s-s...
1968
01:22:11,092 --> 01:22:14,094
Soooo...
1969
01:22:15,463 --> 01:22:16,697
Sorry?
1970
01:22:16,699 --> 01:22:18,832
Yeah. Whoo! I did it!
1971
01:22:21,737 --> 01:22:24,004
I don't even know why
you bothered coming back.
1972
01:22:26,942 --> 01:22:28,609
I was
1973
01:22:29,444 --> 01:22:30,511
afraid.
1974
01:22:31,112 --> 01:22:32,680
What?
1975
01:22:34,449 --> 01:22:36,884
The reason I came back
1976
01:22:36,886 --> 01:22:38,786
was the same reason I left you.
1977
01:22:41,823 --> 01:22:43,557
I was afraid
1978
01:22:44,826 --> 01:22:46,527
of feeling
1979
01:22:47,729 --> 01:22:50,197
the pain you feel
1980
01:22:51,599 --> 01:22:53,367
when you lose
1981
01:22:54,469 --> 01:22:57,204
someone close to you.
1982
01:23:04,746 --> 01:23:07,348
Gotham needs us.
1983
01:23:07,350 --> 01:23:10,551
So I came back to do this.
1984
01:23:11,286 --> 01:23:12,386
Flip.
1985
01:23:13,788 --> 01:23:15,956
Flip? What is that?
I don't...
1986
01:23:15,958 --> 01:23:17,558
You gotta turn around.
1987
01:23:19,427 --> 01:23:22,262
I call it
the babs-signal.
1988
01:23:22,264 --> 01:23:24,865
And I'm flipping
the switch for you.
1989
01:23:24,867 --> 01:23:26,834
Because saving this city
1990
01:23:26,836 --> 01:23:29,003
is too big a job for one person.
1991
01:23:29,005 --> 01:23:30,671
Flip, flip.
1992
01:23:35,377 --> 01:23:37,845
So, what do you say, commish?
1993
01:23:37,847 --> 01:23:41,148
Will you work with me?
1994
01:23:41,150 --> 01:23:42,950
I need your help.
1995
01:23:44,219 --> 01:23:46,120
I thought you'd never ask.
1996
01:23:47,655 --> 01:23:50,457
I'm very,
very proud of you, sir.
1997
01:23:50,459 --> 01:23:52,659
But there's still
only four of us
1998
01:23:52,661 --> 01:23:54,661
against joker's entire army.
1999
01:23:54,663 --> 01:23:56,830
That's why I called in
some backup.
2000
01:23:56,832 --> 01:23:58,899
Flip! Flip! Flip! Flip!
2001
01:24:00,201 --> 01:24:01,835
Whoa!
2002
01:24:01,837 --> 01:24:03,871
We saw your signal,
and we came to help.
2003
01:24:03,873 --> 01:24:06,673
Joker may be done with us,
but we're not done with him.
2004
01:24:06,675 --> 01:24:09,043
We will be
the joker's reckoning.
2005
01:24:09,045 --> 01:24:11,412
Joker said mean stuff to us.
2006
01:24:11,414 --> 01:24:13,180
You were right, Barbara.
2007
01:24:13,182 --> 01:24:16,183
It takes a village.
Not a Batman.
2008
01:24:18,521 --> 01:24:20,654
Okay. Everybody,
listen up.
2009
01:24:20,656 --> 01:24:24,491
These monsters want
to destroy Gotham city.
2010
01:24:24,493 --> 01:24:26,760
That's right.
We need sick new vehicles.
2011
01:24:26,762 --> 01:24:28,896
An arsenal of advanced weaponry.
2012
01:24:28,898 --> 01:24:31,565
Costumes that suit
our individual personalities.
2013
01:24:31,567 --> 01:24:33,067
Rip!
2014
01:24:33,069 --> 01:24:35,035
And code names to use
on our walkie-talkies.
2015
01:24:35,037 --> 01:24:36,203
Call it out!
2016
01:24:36,205 --> 01:24:37,671
Your name is lady bat.
2017
01:24:37,673 --> 01:24:38,939
- Lady bat?
- Bat lady.
2018
01:24:38,941 --> 01:24:40,340
- Veto!
- El batarina.
2019
01:24:40,342 --> 01:24:42,009
- Nope. What?
- Soccer mom... bat?
2020
01:24:42,011 --> 01:24:43,744
How about a cool costume?
2021
01:24:43,746 --> 01:24:44,945
Nice!
2022
01:24:44,947 --> 01:24:46,513
That one's called batgirl.
2023
01:24:46,515 --> 01:24:48,749
If you call me batgirl,
can I call you batboy?
2024
01:24:48,751 --> 01:24:51,418
And lastly, a coordinated
attack strategy,
2025
01:24:51,420 --> 01:24:53,287
and a kick-butt theme song!
2026
01:24:53,289 --> 01:24:54,421
Robin?
2027
01:24:54,423 --> 01:24:56,557
My superhero code name.
2028
01:24:56,559 --> 01:24:58,025
Oh, yeah. Hit it!
2029
01:24:58,027 --> 01:24:59,093
Got it!
2030
01:25:01,097 --> 01:25:03,464
No!
2031
01:25:06,735 --> 01:25:07,868
Absolutely not.
2032
01:25:10,773 --> 01:25:14,074
This music is filling me
with rage.
2033
01:25:14,076 --> 01:25:16,910
Let's use it!
2034
01:25:16,912 --> 01:25:19,213
All right, team. I'm going to
need to know your special powers.
2035
01:25:19,215 --> 01:25:20,581
I'm a giant Clay person!
2036
01:25:20,583 --> 01:25:22,216
I'm irritating.
I have a sack for a face.
2037
01:25:22,218 --> 01:25:23,450
I make unpredictable decisions.
2038
01:25:23,452 --> 01:25:24,585
I raise the stakes!
2039
01:25:24,587 --> 01:25:26,086
I can squirt ketchup!
2040
01:25:26,088 --> 01:25:27,654
Nice! Orca.
2041
01:25:27,656 --> 01:25:29,423
I'm a whale!
2042
01:25:29,425 --> 01:25:31,058
Oh, we got this covered!
2043
01:25:31,060 --> 01:25:32,159
Go team!
2044
01:25:34,964 --> 01:25:36,029
Whale, yeah!
2045
01:25:39,168 --> 01:25:40,901
Shh. Quiet.
2046
01:25:40,903 --> 01:25:43,270
Who's laying down
those funky beats?
2047
01:25:43,272 --> 01:25:45,506
- We are!
- Meow, meow!
2048
01:25:45,508 --> 01:25:47,007
Batman?
2049
01:25:47,009 --> 01:25:48,842
Evil army, get rid of them!
2050
01:25:49,677 --> 01:25:51,311
Team Gotham family,
2051
01:25:51,313 --> 01:25:52,579
activate!
2052
01:25:52,581 --> 01:25:53,814
Voldy's got this.
2053
01:25:56,084 --> 01:25:57,818
Here we go!
2054
01:25:58,319 --> 01:25:59,820
Yeah!
2055
01:26:00,855 --> 01:26:01,922
Bombarda!
2056
01:26:03,124 --> 01:26:04,525
Smash! Smash! Smash!
2057
01:26:07,295 --> 01:26:08,428
Whoa.
2058
01:26:08,430 --> 01:26:10,197
Batman, take out joker's bomb.
2059
01:26:10,199 --> 01:26:11,999
I'll get that projector!
2060
01:26:12,001 --> 01:26:14,434
10-4, co-go.
2061
01:26:14,436 --> 01:26:17,104
Freeze, clayface,
take this guy out!
2062
01:26:17,106 --> 01:26:18,839
Coming through!
2063
01:26:23,278 --> 01:26:24,978
Okay, Alfred, bring the pain.
2064
01:26:26,715 --> 01:26:29,783
Bringing it, sir.
For queen and country!
2065
01:26:31,620 --> 01:26:33,187
You just got union jacked!
2066
01:26:35,790 --> 01:26:37,357
Robin, get ready.
2067
01:26:37,359 --> 01:26:39,279
I'm about to teach you
some father-and-son stuff.
2068
01:26:39,727 --> 01:26:41,228
First, driving.
2069
01:26:41,230 --> 01:26:43,230
Put your hands at 10 and 2.
Okay.
2070
01:26:43,232 --> 01:26:46,667
Now, fly! Turn left!
2071
01:26:46,669 --> 01:26:48,202
Run over these skeletons.
2072
01:26:48,204 --> 01:26:49,636
Now drive up the wall!
2073
01:26:51,039 --> 01:26:52,973
Great driving.
Thanks, padre.
2074
01:26:54,475 --> 01:26:55,542
Yeah!
2075
01:26:56,578 --> 01:26:58,178
Okay, Robin.
2076
01:26:58,180 --> 01:27:00,147
Together, we're gonna
punch these guys so hard,
2077
01:27:00,149 --> 01:27:01,815
words describing the impact
2078
01:27:01,817 --> 01:27:04,918
are gonna spontaneously
materialize out of thin air.
2079
01:27:04,920 --> 01:27:06,620
Yeah!
2080
01:27:11,159 --> 01:27:12,559
Yes! Yes! Yes!
2081
01:27:16,231 --> 01:27:17,364
High five!
2082
01:27:17,366 --> 01:27:19,866
Stop moving around, you Muggles.
2083
01:27:19,868 --> 01:27:22,903
All right, team,
let's shut him down.
2084
01:27:22,905 --> 01:27:25,339
- Orca!
- You're up, baby!
2085
01:27:25,341 --> 01:27:27,341
You wanna see a magic trick?
2086
01:27:27,343 --> 01:27:29,276
I'm gonna make you disappear.
2087
01:27:29,278 --> 01:27:30,711
Wingardium levio...
2088
01:27:30,713 --> 01:27:32,179
Me-yoink!
2089
01:27:32,181 --> 01:27:34,348
Wingardium levio...
Shut up!
2090
01:27:34,350 --> 01:27:35,682
No!
2091
01:27:35,684 --> 01:27:37,284
Welcome to the phantom zone,
bad guy!
2092
01:27:37,286 --> 01:27:39,119
Fudgecake!
2093
01:27:39,121 --> 01:27:40,754
Whoo!
Here we go, bat team!
2094
01:27:40,756 --> 01:27:41,756
Batman, think fast!
2095
01:27:45,260 --> 01:27:47,194
Welcome to the phantom zone,
bad guy!
2096
01:27:47,196 --> 01:27:48,295
Robin, go long.
2097
01:27:48,297 --> 01:27:50,297
Nice grab.
Yeah!
2098
01:27:52,267 --> 01:27:54,201
Oh, my gosh.
Yes!
2099
01:27:54,203 --> 01:27:55,269
Here you go, grandpa.
2100
01:27:57,238 --> 01:27:58,338
Hey, Batman!
2101
01:28:01,810 --> 01:28:03,810
Get off my padre!
2102
01:28:05,046 --> 01:28:06,747
It wasn't useless after all.
2103
01:28:06,749 --> 01:28:08,715
End this, batgirl!
2104
01:28:11,219 --> 01:28:13,220
Adios, shark.
2105
01:28:14,722 --> 01:28:17,524
Okay, brb, guys.
I'm gonna go defuse that...
2106
01:28:30,571 --> 01:28:31,811
This is the end of Gotham city!
2107
01:28:33,474 --> 01:28:36,143
As I predicted, we're doomed!
2108
01:28:37,345 --> 01:28:39,079
We're not doomed.
I got this.
2109
01:28:40,515 --> 01:28:41,948
Everyone, grab on to me.
2110
01:28:41,950 --> 01:28:43,250
Gotcha.
2111
01:28:43,252 --> 01:28:44,351
Come on, guys.
2112
01:28:44,353 --> 01:28:45,919
We need to
hold this city together.
2113
01:28:48,323 --> 01:28:49,756
Batrope, no!
2114
01:28:49,758 --> 01:28:51,525
Everybody, run!
2115
01:28:51,527 --> 01:28:53,694
No! We have
to stick together.
2116
01:28:53,696 --> 01:28:54,861
Right, Batman?
2117
01:28:54,863 --> 01:28:56,330
We need to use our heads!
2118
01:28:56,332 --> 01:28:58,031
Maybe we should build
something together.
2119
01:28:58,033 --> 01:28:59,366
Heads.
Stick together.
2120
01:28:59,368 --> 01:29:01,301
Build something.
Together.
2121
01:29:01,303 --> 01:29:03,537
Build.
Together. Together.
2122
01:29:03,539 --> 01:29:04,979
We should build
something together.
2123
01:29:06,474 --> 01:29:08,008
I got it.
2124
01:29:08,010 --> 01:29:10,677
You're right, babs.
We need to stick together.
2125
01:29:10,679 --> 01:29:12,112
Literally.
2126
01:29:12,114 --> 01:29:13,547
Robin, quick.
Give me a boost.
2127
01:29:13,549 --> 01:29:15,048
On it, padre.
2128
01:29:15,050 --> 01:29:16,950
We're gonna stick together,
using our heads,
2129
01:29:16,952 --> 01:29:19,486
and the most powerful weapon
of all...
2130
01:29:19,488 --> 01:29:22,055
Shredded abs.
Let's do this.
2131
01:29:22,057 --> 01:29:23,490
- Meow, meow.
- Yeah, let's do this.
2132
01:29:23,492 --> 01:29:24,858
Ready?
Here we go.
2133
01:29:24,860 --> 01:29:26,059
You got this, Alfred?
2134
01:29:26,061 --> 01:29:28,061
Yes, sir. Abs of steel.
2135
01:29:28,063 --> 01:29:30,230
Great!
Now you bend,
2136
01:29:30,232 --> 01:29:32,432
and I'll grab the other side!
2137
01:29:33,301 --> 01:29:34,901
No!
2138
01:29:34,903 --> 01:29:36,737
- Batman, what's going on?
- Are you okay?
2139
01:29:36,739 --> 01:29:38,672
I've got you.
2140
01:29:40,675 --> 01:29:41,842
Joker!
2141
01:29:41,844 --> 01:29:43,877
Please, help us!
2142
01:29:43,879 --> 01:29:45,812
No! I'm
not gonna help you.
2143
01:29:45,814 --> 01:29:48,482
At least if this city
is destroyed,
2144
01:29:48,484 --> 01:29:49,649
I'll die knowing
2145
01:29:49,651 --> 01:29:51,585
I'm your greatest enemy!
2146
01:29:51,587 --> 01:29:53,820
I'm gonna have to die
to know it.
2147
01:29:53,822 --> 01:29:57,023
Shut up, joker!
If there's no Gotham,
2148
01:29:57,025 --> 01:29:59,259
then I'll never get
to fight you again.
2149
01:30:00,261 --> 01:30:02,429
What?
2150
01:30:02,431 --> 01:30:05,031
You're the reason why I get up
at 4:00 in the afternoon,
2151
01:30:05,033 --> 01:30:07,868
and pump iron until my chest
is positively sick.
2152
01:30:07,870 --> 01:30:09,603
You're the reason I've given up
2153
01:30:09,605 --> 01:30:11,371
a life spent
with Russian ballerinas
2154
01:30:11,373 --> 01:30:13,407
and lady activewear models.
2155
01:30:13,409 --> 01:30:14,941
And if it wasn't for you,
2156
01:30:14,943 --> 01:30:16,710
I never would have learned
how connected I am
2157
01:30:16,712 --> 01:30:18,278
with all these people.
2158
01:30:19,247 --> 01:30:20,313
And you.
2159
01:30:22,016 --> 01:30:24,618
So if you help me save Gotham,
2160
01:30:26,788 --> 01:30:28,622
you'll help me save us.
2161
01:30:29,557 --> 01:30:32,092
You just said "us."
2162
01:30:32,094 --> 01:30:36,163
Yeah. Batman
and the joker.
2163
01:30:37,932 --> 01:30:40,434
What do you say?
2164
01:30:40,436 --> 01:30:42,536
You had me at shut up.
2165
01:30:44,305 --> 01:30:45,872
How are your abs, bro?
2166
01:30:45,874 --> 01:30:49,109
Too much flab, not enough ab.
Why?
2167
01:30:49,111 --> 01:30:51,278
Because I need you
to crunch them.
2168
01:30:51,280 --> 01:30:52,879
Citizens of Gotham,
2169
01:30:52,881 --> 01:30:55,282
we need all of you to join us
2170
01:30:55,284 --> 01:30:57,784
and help bring this city
back together.
2171
01:31:23,845 --> 01:31:26,146
I'm just gonna
come right out and say it.
2172
01:31:26,148 --> 01:31:27,481
I hate you, joker.
2173
01:31:28,750 --> 01:31:30,784
I hate you, too.
I hate you more.
2174
01:31:30,786 --> 01:31:32,652
I hate you the most.
2175
01:31:32,654 --> 01:31:35,121
I hate you forever.
2176
01:31:35,123 --> 01:31:36,189
Splendid!
2177
01:31:37,792 --> 01:31:39,025
We did it, everyone!
2178
01:31:43,664 --> 01:31:46,066
Bane is feeling warm and fuzzy.
2179
01:31:51,039 --> 01:31:52,939
Padre,
2180
01:31:52,941 --> 01:31:54,074
where are you going?
2181
01:31:55,109 --> 01:31:56,843
I made a promise.
2182
01:31:56,845 --> 01:31:58,912
I gotta go back
to the phantom zone.
2183
01:31:59,847 --> 01:32:01,147
Sorry, kid.
2184
01:32:01,149 --> 01:32:03,283
Padre, please.
2185
01:32:03,285 --> 01:32:05,352
Don't call me padre.
2186
01:32:05,820 --> 01:32:07,787
Okay.
2187
01:32:07,789 --> 01:32:08,922
Call me...
2188
01:32:12,860 --> 01:32:14,327
Dads.
2189
01:32:14,329 --> 01:32:18,064
My two dads are the same dad.
2190
01:32:19,033 --> 01:32:21,902
But they're both leaving.
2191
01:32:22,970 --> 01:32:24,604
It's gonna be okay, kid.
2192
01:32:26,173 --> 01:32:29,509
Sometimes,
losing people is part of life.
2193
01:32:29,511 --> 01:32:33,179
But that doesn't mean
you stop letting them in.
2194
01:32:33,181 --> 01:32:36,149
Some very wise people
taught me that.
2195
01:32:36,984 --> 01:32:38,552
My father figure.
2196
01:32:40,021 --> 01:32:42,689
My platonic coworker buddy,
2197
01:32:42,691 --> 01:32:45,325
who's a girl, but just a friend.
2198
01:32:46,894 --> 01:32:50,297
And you. Mi hijo.
2199
01:32:50,932 --> 01:32:52,399
It's Spanish
2200
01:32:53,067 --> 01:32:54,568
for "son."
2201
01:32:56,571 --> 01:32:58,438
This is my family,
2202
01:32:59,574 --> 01:33:01,608
but it's your family, too.
2203
01:34:05,906 --> 01:34:07,273
Do you have a knife?
2204
01:34:07,275 --> 01:34:08,475
Why?
2205
01:34:08,477 --> 01:34:10,110
'Cause someone
needs to cut the tension
2206
01:34:10,112 --> 01:34:12,078
between the two of us
immediately.
2207
01:34:13,315 --> 01:34:14,981
Okay. I deserved that.
2208
01:34:14,983 --> 01:34:16,583
Hi.
Wait a minute.
2209
01:34:16,585 --> 01:34:17,951
What's going on?
2210
01:34:17,953 --> 01:34:20,253
I came back,
just like I said I would.
2211
01:34:20,255 --> 01:34:22,088
You know,
Mr. Batman,
2212
01:34:22,090 --> 01:34:24,691
when you're a talking brick,
working at the phantom zone,
2213
01:34:24,693 --> 01:34:27,327
you see a lot of crazy things.
2214
01:34:27,329 --> 01:34:29,162
But I've finally seen a man,
2215
01:34:29,164 --> 01:34:31,698
in order to make the world
a better place,
2216
01:34:31,700 --> 01:34:34,334
take a look at himself
and make a change.
2217
01:34:35,269 --> 01:34:36,636
Who?
2218
01:34:36,638 --> 01:34:37,804
Superman.
2219
01:34:37,806 --> 01:34:40,106
What?
I'm kidding. It's you.
2220
01:34:43,445 --> 01:34:45,879
Well, I guess I'll be seeing
you on the streets, Batman.
2221
01:34:45,881 --> 01:34:48,048
I guess so.
Catch you later, joker.
2222
01:34:48,050 --> 01:34:50,383
Let's go, gang.
2223
01:34:50,385 --> 01:34:53,053
Wait a minute, we're not just gonna
let these criminals go, right?
2224
01:34:53,055 --> 01:34:54,688
Ah, come on, commish.
Let's face it.
2225
01:34:54,690 --> 01:34:56,856
Those guys are no match
for the four of us.
2226
01:34:56,858 --> 01:34:58,692
We'll give them
a 30-minute head start.
2227
01:34:58,694 --> 01:35:01,494
Besides, you can't fight crime
on an empty stomach.
2228
01:35:04,231 --> 01:35:05,632
Hey, computer?
2229
01:35:05,634 --> 01:35:06,966
We're home!
2230
01:35:10,504 --> 01:35:11,805
What is the password?
2231
01:35:11,807 --> 01:35:13,540
Iron man sucks!
2232
01:35:25,553 --> 01:35:26,753
When dad and me were fighting,
2233
01:35:26,755 --> 01:35:28,488
I was giving them
my best one-liners.
2234
01:35:29,223 --> 01:35:30,290
You
2235
01:35:32,393 --> 01:35:34,094
complete me.
2236
01:35:47,341 --> 01:35:50,443
Holy family photo, Batman.
I love it!
2237
01:35:57,351 --> 01:35:58,752
White.
2238
01:35:58,754 --> 01:36:03,356
All important movies end
with a white screen.
2239
01:36:03,358 --> 01:36:05,592
And tying up loose ends.
2240
01:36:05,594 --> 01:36:07,861
We're coming for you,
Gotham city!
2241
01:36:07,863 --> 01:36:09,395
Like this snake clowns bit.
2242
01:36:09,397 --> 01:36:10,630
Snake clowns?
2243
01:36:10,632 --> 01:36:12,298
Told you they were real.
2244
01:36:12,300 --> 01:36:14,033
Did you stick wigs onto snakes?
2245
01:36:14,035 --> 01:36:16,069
- Maybe.
- That is so weird.
2246
01:36:16,071 --> 01:36:17,637
Can I play that song
I wrote for the end credits?
2247
01:36:17,639 --> 01:36:18,905
That is a hard pass.
2248
01:36:18,907 --> 01:36:20,774
- Come on.
- No!
2249
01:36:20,776 --> 01:36:22,208
Let the kid play
whatever music he wants.
2250
01:36:22,210 --> 01:36:23,443
- No, no, no!
- Please?
2251
01:36:23,445 --> 01:36:24,611
- No.
- Padre?
2252
01:36:24,613 --> 01:36:26,379
Fine. 'Puter.
2253
01:36:26,381 --> 01:36:27,714
Okay, sir.
2254
01:36:27,716 --> 01:36:29,649
Yay!
2255
01:36:29,651 --> 01:36:31,618
Now playing
Robin's happy, poppy music.
2256
01:36:31,620 --> 01:36:34,954
The kind that makes parents
and studio executives happy.
2257
01:36:58,646 --> 01:36:59,712
Come on, everyone!
2258
01:37:19,266 --> 01:37:20,667
Come on, Batman!
No!
2259
01:38:47,888 --> 01:38:50,523
Wow, that was fun!
2260
01:38:50,525 --> 01:38:53,059
Really hope
nobody was recording that.
2261
01:38:53,061 --> 01:38:54,627
Let me see.
Oh, this thing is on.
2262
01:38:54,629 --> 01:38:55,629
This thing is recording.
156427
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