Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:04,323
- Sync and corrections by ByDem -
- www.addic7ed.com -
2
00:00:04,325 --> 00:00:05,618
Whoa
3
00:00:05,618 --> 00:00:07,618
[CAR HORNS HONKING]
4
00:00:07,642 --> 00:00:11,189
_
5
00:00:11,804 --> 00:00:13,804
[INTRO TO "ANOTHER DAY OF SUN"
TUNE FROM LA LA LAND]
6
00:00:15,375 --> 00:00:17,576
♪ Another Springfield day ♪
_
7
00:00:17,609 --> 00:00:21,178
♪ A truly perfect place to see ♪
♪ your dreams just fade away ♪
8
00:00:21,213 --> 00:00:25,016
♪ Working at the plant's fried ♪
♪ everything inside my pants ♪
9
00:00:25,050 --> 00:00:29,288
♪ Good-bye to all romance ♪
10
00:00:29,321 --> 00:00:33,625
♪ All I've got to show ♪
♪ for 20 years or so is you ♪
11
00:00:33,659 --> 00:00:36,261
- Carl!
- Prescription pain pills!
12
00:00:36,295 --> 00:00:38,229
♪ I have a law degree ♪
13
00:00:38,264 --> 00:00:40,164
♪ For years I've smelled ♪
♪ just like cat pee ♪
14
00:00:40,198 --> 00:00:41,832
♪ This town just drags you down ♪
15
00:00:41,868 --> 00:00:43,701
♪ She's completely lost her head ♪
16
00:00:43,735 --> 00:00:45,904
♪ And we will eat her when she's dead ♪
17
00:00:45,939 --> 00:00:48,406
♪ It really shouldn't be too long ♪
18
00:00:48,441 --> 00:00:51,843
- ♪ Cats! Cats! Cats! ♪
- ♪ She'll be our dinner ♪
19
00:00:51,878 --> 00:00:53,744
♪ This truly is an awful town ♪
20
00:00:53,780 --> 00:00:55,680
♪ The water's green, the sky is brown ♪
21
00:00:55,715 --> 00:00:57,481
♪ Pope Francis came, he turned around ♪
22
00:00:57,517 --> 00:00:59,518
♪ Our strongest bridge ♪
♪ just holds ten pounds ♪
23
00:00:59,551 --> 00:01:01,185
♪ We're poisoned by a greedy clown ♪
24
00:01:01,219 --> 00:01:03,588
♪ Kang-a-roo meat! ♪
25
00:01:03,622 --> 00:01:07,125
♪ Traffic suffers from paralysis ♪
26
00:01:07,159 --> 00:01:10,962
Please. I'm late for my dialysis.
27
00:01:11,793 --> 00:01:13,762
♪ It's another Springfield day ♪
28
00:01:13,795 --> 00:01:15,662
♪ Oh, oh, oh, oh ♪
29
00:01:15,698 --> 00:01:17,498
♪ I'm too sad to say olé ♪
30
00:01:17,533 --> 00:01:19,512
♪ Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh ♪
31
00:01:19,512 --> 00:01:20,978
♪ We've lost our coolest gays ♪
32
00:01:21,013 --> 00:01:22,980
♪ Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh ♪
33
00:01:23,015 --> 00:01:25,015
Duffman thinks this town's okay!
34
00:01:25,049 --> 00:01:26,683
♪ Oh, oh, oh, oh ♪
_
35
00:01:26,718 --> 00:01:30,155
♪ It's another Springfield day! ♪
36
00:01:30,188 --> 00:01:31,823
[PEOPLE SCREAMING]
37
00:01:31,856 --> 00:01:35,159
[LAUGHING] Lenny's a survivor!
38
00:01:35,194 --> 00:01:37,162
LISA: ♪ This will be a perfect day ♪
39
00:01:37,195 --> 00:01:39,329
♪ No way to go outside and play ♪
40
00:01:39,365 --> 00:01:40,865
♪ And so we're on our way ♪
41
00:01:40,900 --> 00:01:43,334
♪ To a very nerdy science conference ♪
42
00:01:43,368 --> 00:01:45,235
♪ Ba-ba ba-ba-dum ba-dum, ba-ba ♪
_
43
00:01:45,271 --> 00:01:46,905
♪ Bum-bum, ba-ba-dum, ba-da, ba-ba ♪
44
00:01:46,938 --> 00:01:48,338
Take it Bart!
45
00:01:48,373 --> 00:01:49,873
If you're givin' it, I don't want it.
46
00:01:49,908 --> 00:01:51,543
Bring it home, boy.
47
00:01:51,576 --> 00:01:55,079
♪ My sister sucks! ♪
48
00:01:55,114 --> 00:01:57,347
Nyah, nyah.
49
00:01:57,383 --> 00:02:00,918
♪ It's another perfect day! ♪
50
00:02:00,953 --> 00:02:02,486
I brought my stems.
51
00:02:02,521 --> 00:02:03,954
Sir, this is a conference
52
00:02:03,989 --> 00:02:07,591
of Science, Technology,
Engineering and Math.
53
00:02:07,626 --> 00:02:09,259
What about this one?
54
00:02:09,294 --> 00:02:11,695
Dialogue on Pediatric Education.
55
00:02:11,729 --> 00:02:13,598
[WHOOSHING]
56
00:02:13,632 --> 00:02:15,032
[MUMBLING]
57
00:02:15,067 --> 00:02:17,701
I find this claim highly doyvik.
_
58
00:02:17,735 --> 00:02:20,704
It's all true according
to the highly-prestigious
59
00:02:20,739 --> 00:02:22,574
Institute for Purchased Science.
_
60
00:02:22,608 --> 00:02:24,442
Here's our top scientist now.
61
00:02:24,475 --> 00:02:26,911
Sir, I-I don't think
this is fooling anyone.
62
00:02:26,945 --> 00:02:29,280
Quiet! And put on the monocle,
Professor Noodle-Strudel.
63
00:02:29,314 --> 00:02:32,383
[SMITHERS SIGHS]
64
00:02:32,418 --> 00:02:34,284
- So where's your booth?
- I don't have one.
65
00:02:34,319 --> 00:02:37,021
- I just came here for fun.
- Fun?!
66
00:02:37,055 --> 00:02:38,923
One child, please.
67
00:02:38,957 --> 00:02:40,290
I was here first.
_
68
00:02:40,325 --> 00:02:43,127
If disco's dead, I don't want to live.
_
69
00:02:43,162 --> 00:02:45,396
It's Stuicide!
70
00:02:45,430 --> 00:02:47,899
Self-unrolling yoga mats.
_
71
00:02:47,932 --> 00:02:49,901
[RHYTHMIC WHIRRING]
_
72
00:02:49,935 --> 00:02:53,503
Artificial intelligence
that writes TV recaps.
73
00:02:53,538 --> 00:02:57,641
Stranger Things suffers
from season two fatigue.
74
00:02:57,675 --> 00:03:00,777
And look! IMAX Al Gore!
75
00:03:00,812 --> 00:03:04,649
If every family could just
reduce their carbon footprint
76
00:03:04,682 --> 00:03:06,783
by ten percent...
77
00:03:06,818 --> 00:03:08,453
Oh, it's hopeless.
78
00:03:08,486 --> 00:03:10,121
The floods are comin', people!
79
00:03:10,155 --> 00:03:12,356
This is my Woodstock!
80
00:03:12,390 --> 00:03:15,092
[WOOZY LAUGH]
81
00:03:15,127 --> 00:03:16,794
You okay, honey?
82
00:03:16,829 --> 00:03:18,263
[SLURRING WORDS] It's fine. It's fine.
83
00:03:18,296 --> 00:03:20,465
I'm just intellectually drunk.
84
00:03:20,498 --> 00:03:23,001
Mm. I guess that's okay.
85
00:03:23,034 --> 00:03:25,169
Marge, Marge, Marge, you lighten up.
86
00:03:25,204 --> 00:03:26,537
It's science.
87
00:03:26,572 --> 00:03:28,006
Maybe you should sit down.
88
00:03:28,039 --> 00:03:30,841
I ain't sittin'. I'm ready to fly!
89
00:03:30,876 --> 00:03:32,477
Hmm.
90
00:03:32,501 --> 00:03:34,501
_
91
00:03:37,816 --> 00:03:39,850
Hey, kid, I want to show you something.
92
00:03:39,884 --> 00:03:41,451
Are you a pervert?
93
00:03:41,486 --> 00:03:43,086
No. A chemical engineer.
94
00:03:43,122 --> 00:03:45,156
[CRYING] No!
_
95
00:03:45,189 --> 00:03:46,658
I used to be like you.
96
00:03:46,692 --> 00:03:48,626
You mean incredibly bored?
97
00:03:48,661 --> 00:03:50,995
Oh, let's see
if you think this is boring.
98
00:03:51,030 --> 00:03:53,764
I drop a little water
on powdered sodium...
99
00:03:53,799 --> 00:03:54,998
BART: Huh?!
100
00:03:55,033 --> 00:03:56,466
Wow!
101
00:03:56,502 --> 00:03:58,201
Listen, I don't know
what you're teaching,
102
00:03:58,236 --> 00:04:00,138
but you and I have great chemistry.
103
00:04:00,171 --> 00:04:01,639
Except for the lab coat.
104
00:04:01,674 --> 00:04:03,807
It makes you look kind of heavy.
105
00:04:03,842 --> 00:04:06,843
I actually am kind of heavy,
and it makes me look thinner!
106
00:04:06,878 --> 00:04:10,213
I don't know what could make
this day more perfect.
107
00:04:10,248 --> 00:04:12,449
[JAZZ PLAYS ON PIANO]
108
00:04:12,484 --> 00:04:14,018
[GASPS]
109
00:04:18,656 --> 00:04:20,591
You didn't applaud. Nothing.
110
00:04:20,625 --> 00:04:22,627
Here, I'll show ya how it goes.
111
00:04:23,862 --> 00:04:27,165
Thank you. No selfies.
112
00:04:27,199 --> 00:04:29,334
LISA: In a lesser musician,
that boy's attitude
113
00:04:29,367 --> 00:04:31,735
would be needy
masquerading as arrogance.
114
00:04:31,769 --> 00:04:33,571
I'm leaving if he can't sing.
115
00:04:33,605 --> 00:04:36,240
♪ I've had my share of crazy flings ♪
116
00:04:36,274 --> 00:04:38,709
♪ But they all end up leavin' ♪
117
00:04:38,744 --> 00:04:42,747
♪ And leavin', ♪
♪ well, it really stings... ♪
118
00:04:42,781 --> 00:04:45,750
LISA: Oh, God. He's one small step away
119
00:04:45,783 --> 00:04:48,685
from destroying all my logic and reason.
120
00:04:48,721 --> 00:04:51,389
♪
121
00:04:51,423 --> 00:04:53,324
Ah. Ah. Ah.
122
00:04:53,358 --> 00:04:54,891
MILHOUSE: Hey, Lisa.
123
00:04:54,927 --> 00:04:58,762
I brought you three waters:
cold, lukewarm and warm.
124
00:04:58,797 --> 00:05:01,766
- That's nice. Any sparkling?
- Damn it!
125
00:05:02,798 --> 00:05:05,994
Hi! I'm Lisa Simpson and I'm nervous
126
00:05:05,994 --> 00:05:08,396
about saying anything that will
ruin this perfect moment.
127
00:05:08,430 --> 00:05:10,064
My name's Brendan.
128
00:05:10,098 --> 00:05:12,399
Oh, good, good. No last names.
129
00:05:12,434 --> 00:05:14,735
Don't want things moving too fast.
130
00:05:14,769 --> 00:05:17,538
Oh! I hope our children get his hair.
131
00:05:17,572 --> 00:05:19,841
Now to subtly find out how old he is.
132
00:05:19,875 --> 00:05:21,542
How old are you?
133
00:05:21,576 --> 00:05:24,245
Well, I'm 11, but I'm insouciant
at a 12th grade level,
134
00:05:24,278 --> 00:05:25,680
and I'm talented, too.
135
00:05:25,713 --> 00:05:27,348
[LAUGHS] So unfair, right?
136
00:05:27,382 --> 00:05:30,851
That's amazing, because
the boys I know are re...
137
00:05:30,886 --> 00:05:32,353
I've got sparkling!
138
00:05:32,387 --> 00:05:34,021
Sorry, I'm not thirsty anymore.
139
00:05:34,055 --> 00:05:35,723
Damn it!
140
00:05:35,757 --> 00:05:38,492
Um, so w-where do you go to school?
141
00:05:38,526 --> 00:05:40,327
I just moved here.
I'm starting next week
142
00:05:40,362 --> 00:05:41,862
at a school called
Springfield Elementary.
143
00:05:41,896 --> 00:05:44,031
I see it got a few
dreadful reviews on Yelp.
144
00:05:44,066 --> 00:05:46,233
This guy called "Gary Chalmers"
gave it half a star.
145
00:05:46,268 --> 00:05:47,634
Bloody hell!
146
00:05:47,668 --> 00:05:50,271
Of all the K through sixes
in this world,
147
00:05:50,305 --> 00:05:52,273
you had to walk into mine.
148
00:05:52,307 --> 00:05:55,976
A beautiful hotel bar!
Just like in The Shining!
149
00:05:56,011 --> 00:05:58,411
Oh, hi, lee... tle girl.
150
00:05:58,447 --> 00:06:01,382
If you see your ma... uh, ma wife,
151
00:06:01,415 --> 00:06:05,218
tell her Homer... not your dad...
wants the credit card.
152
00:06:05,254 --> 00:06:07,187
I will... sir.
153
00:06:07,221 --> 00:06:09,656
- Sir? I'm your dad.
- D'oh!
154
00:06:09,690 --> 00:06:11,091
MAN [GERMAN ACCENT]:
Today, we are performing
155
00:06:11,125 --> 00:06:13,494
an experiment that we humorously call
156
00:06:13,528 --> 00:06:16,062
"making elephant toothpaste."
157
00:06:16,098 --> 00:06:19,065
Boy, the Germans sure know their humor.
158
00:06:19,100 --> 00:06:21,302
Let's just hope they know
something about chemistry.
159
00:06:21,336 --> 00:06:26,106
First, add a tablespoon of
dish soap to hydrogen peroxide,
160
00:06:26,141 --> 00:06:29,009
then add the warm water and the yeast!
161
00:06:32,180 --> 00:06:33,613
[EXPLOSION]
162
00:06:33,649 --> 00:06:35,615
Aah! German chemistry!
163
00:06:35,651 --> 00:06:37,418
- [WHIMPERING]
- [BOYS LAUGHING]
164
00:06:37,451 --> 00:06:40,021
[SAXOPHONE AND PIANO
PLAY LIVELY, UPBEAT JAZZ]
165
00:06:40,045 --> 00:06:43,156
_
166
00:06:46,961 --> 00:06:49,262
Sounds great, Lisa. Really great.
167
00:06:49,298 --> 00:06:51,098
You're just a little behind the beat.
168
00:06:51,132 --> 00:06:53,935
Uh, maybe you're a little ahead?
169
00:06:53,968 --> 00:06:57,103
Aw, you're so cute when you're wrong.
170
00:06:57,139 --> 00:06:59,340
- Channel that rage!
- No!
171
00:06:59,374 --> 00:07:01,175
Make that reed pay for my sins!
172
00:07:01,209 --> 00:07:03,978
[PLAYING LIVELY JAZZ]
173
00:07:04,012 --> 00:07:05,779
Yeah!
174
00:07:05,814 --> 00:07:08,214
- [BANGING ON WALL]
- HOMER: Knock off that racket!
175
00:07:08,250 --> 00:07:09,983
It's not a racket!
176
00:07:10,018 --> 00:07:12,485
It's the truest American art form!
177
00:07:12,521 --> 00:07:15,755
Banging on the walls is
the truest American art form,
178
00:07:15,790 --> 00:07:17,324
and I'm a Picasso!
179
00:07:17,358 --> 00:07:19,293
[BANGING RHYTHMICALLY TO MUSIC]
180
00:07:19,327 --> 00:07:22,129
Oh, no! They're playing in time
to the beat of my banging!
181
00:07:22,163 --> 00:07:24,665
Well, then stop banging.
182
00:07:24,699 --> 00:07:27,067
I can't. The rhythm is infectious.
183
00:07:27,101 --> 00:07:29,235
[BANGING RHYTHMICALLY TO MUSIC]
184
00:07:34,274 --> 00:07:35,324
_
185
00:07:35,324 --> 00:07:36,476
_
186
00:07:36,478 --> 00:07:38,980
Here's the school trophy case.
_
187
00:07:39,014 --> 00:07:41,148
If you look closely, it's empty.
188
00:07:41,182 --> 00:07:43,584
They're actually decals on the glass.
189
00:07:45,754 --> 00:07:48,154
- Oh, hello, Lisa.
- [GASPS]
190
00:07:48,189 --> 00:07:49,790
I see you have a new friend.
191
00:07:49,824 --> 00:07:51,992
Brendan, this is Nelson.
192
00:07:52,026 --> 00:07:54,327
Lisa, you sure know a lot of weird guys.
193
00:07:54,362 --> 00:07:55,829
Hello, Brenda.
194
00:07:55,863 --> 00:07:58,331
Excuse me.
Why is being a girl an insult?
195
00:07:58,367 --> 00:08:00,401
Ah! So evolved!
196
00:08:00,435 --> 00:08:03,170
Lisa, are you squishy
for this ding-dong?
197
00:08:03,204 --> 00:08:06,007
Lisa, does that fat kid like you?
198
00:08:07,541 --> 00:08:10,444
[LAUGHS] Whatever we had,
it's in the past.
199
00:08:12,913 --> 00:08:16,317
I think there's something
in the water in this town.
200
00:08:18,920 --> 00:08:20,387
[WHISTLES]
201
00:08:22,024 --> 00:08:24,391
[LAUGHTER]
202
00:08:24,425 --> 00:08:26,160
Oh, man.
203
00:08:26,194 --> 00:08:27,961
♪ On a playground I tripped ♪
204
00:08:27,995 --> 00:08:29,497
[GIRLS SIGH]
205
00:08:29,531 --> 00:08:31,899
♪ Then I saw you and flipped ♪
206
00:08:31,932 --> 00:08:34,000
He used "flipped" with a double meaning!
207
00:08:34,036 --> 00:08:35,568
Bastard!
208
00:08:35,604 --> 00:08:37,837
♪ Now I'm skippin' ♪
209
00:08:37,873 --> 00:08:40,807
♪ And trippin' for you. ♪
210
00:08:40,841 --> 00:08:43,177
He turned his suffering
into entertainment,
211
00:08:43,211 --> 00:08:44,745
just like the Jewish people!
212
00:08:44,779 --> 00:08:47,148
Nothing can ruin this moment.
213
00:08:47,182 --> 00:08:49,115
Make way. Dead gophers.
214
00:08:49,150 --> 00:08:50,683
Nothing!
215
00:08:50,719 --> 00:08:53,386
[LIVELY JAZZ PLAYING]
216
00:08:53,422 --> 00:08:55,623
How can you be sleeping?!
217
00:08:55,657 --> 00:08:58,625
[GRUNTING]
218
00:08:58,659 --> 00:09:00,528
Oh, thank God.
219
00:09:00,562 --> 00:09:04,932
Meanwhile, Bart's teacher says
he has a flair for chemistry.
220
00:09:04,966 --> 00:09:06,433
Why that little...
221
00:09:06,467 --> 00:09:08,936
Wait. Flair? Isn't that a good thing?
222
00:09:08,970 --> 00:09:10,804
Yes. It's too good.
223
00:09:10,839 --> 00:09:13,774
- [WHISTLING]
- [LIQUID GURGLING]
224
00:09:15,610 --> 00:09:17,411
[GARGLING]
225
00:09:17,446 --> 00:09:19,279
Why don't you ask him what he's up to?
226
00:09:19,313 --> 00:09:22,883
Because if he lies to me,
it's like a dagger in my heart.
227
00:09:22,918 --> 00:09:26,253
What happens when...
I mean if... I ever lie to you?
228
00:09:26,288 --> 00:09:28,522
Can you find out what he's really up to?
229
00:09:28,557 --> 00:09:30,658
- I will.
- See? That's a lie right there.
230
00:09:30,692 --> 00:09:32,993
D'oh! Okay, I really will.
231
00:09:33,028 --> 00:09:34,961
- That's also a lie.
- D'oh!
232
00:09:34,995 --> 00:09:37,431
Fine. I really, really, really will.
233
00:09:37,466 --> 00:09:39,500
Finally, the truth.
234
00:09:39,533 --> 00:09:41,302
[HOMER PANTING HEAVILY]
235
00:09:41,336 --> 00:09:43,003
HOMER: Keeping... promise.
236
00:09:43,038 --> 00:09:44,838
[HOMER PANTING HEAVILY]
237
00:09:44,873 --> 00:09:46,340
Stupid tree house.
238
00:09:46,374 --> 00:09:48,775
[PANTING] So far off the ground.
239
00:09:48,809 --> 00:09:50,277
[PANTING HEAVILY]
240
00:09:50,312 --> 00:09:52,645
Uh, Dad, you haven't even
started to climb yet.
241
00:09:52,681 --> 00:09:54,815
I have to visualize it first.
242
00:09:54,850 --> 00:09:56,884
[GROANS]
243
00:09:57,818 --> 00:09:59,019
Thanks, guys.
244
00:09:59,053 --> 00:10:00,453
Ah, no problem.
245
00:10:00,489 --> 00:10:02,022
Why did we do that, Chief?
246
00:10:02,057 --> 00:10:03,957
Fat man courtesy, Lou.
247
00:10:03,991 --> 00:10:05,692
Fat man courtesy.
248
00:10:05,726 --> 00:10:08,162
Son, how do I put this?
249
00:10:08,196 --> 00:10:10,530
Are you breaking bad up here?
250
00:10:10,565 --> 00:10:12,032
No, I'm not.
251
00:10:12,067 --> 00:10:14,301
And if you're looking for meth,
go see Cletus.
252
00:10:14,336 --> 00:10:16,470
- What?!
- [BEEPS]
253
00:10:16,504 --> 00:10:21,708
Meth Life, proud sponsor
of the 2020 Opioid Olympics!
254
00:10:21,743 --> 00:10:23,309
[SQUEALS]
255
00:10:23,345 --> 00:10:26,179
Ooh, that's street ready!
256
00:10:26,213 --> 00:10:28,649
Dad, I'm just trying
to follow in your footsteps.
257
00:10:28,682 --> 00:10:31,485
You work in science,
and I think that's really cool.
258
00:10:31,519 --> 00:10:33,953
Wow, you've never
said that to me before.
259
00:10:33,989 --> 00:10:36,157
Do you want to go to work with me today?
260
00:10:36,191 --> 00:10:37,725
You can help me research my theory
261
00:10:37,759 --> 00:10:39,726
that the chairs can go flat.
262
00:10:39,760 --> 00:10:43,697
I'd like to, but I've got to do
some colloidal titration.
263
00:10:43,731 --> 00:10:44,965
[HOMER WHIMPERS]
264
00:10:45,000 --> 00:10:47,801
Marge, it's worse than we thought.
265
00:10:47,836 --> 00:10:49,102
He's speaking in tongues.
266
00:10:49,136 --> 00:10:50,604
He's a religious weirdo.
267
00:10:50,639 --> 00:10:51,971
The worst thing there is.
268
00:10:52,006 --> 00:10:53,706
Cover your eyes, boys...
269
00:10:53,741 --> 00:10:57,244
I'm about to flip Mr. Simpson
the "Flanders finger."
270
00:10:57,278 --> 00:10:59,179
[GASPS] You mean...
271
00:10:59,213 --> 00:11:02,549
Yup... a thumbs-up
without a friendly wink.
272
00:11:02,583 --> 00:11:04,585
[BOYS WHIMPERING]
273
00:11:05,359 --> 00:11:06,553
_
274
00:11:06,554 --> 00:11:08,322
You have a credit card?
275
00:11:08,355 --> 00:11:09,889
Yeah, but no money.
276
00:11:09,924 --> 00:11:12,493
Oh, a true jazz musician.
277
00:11:15,811 --> 00:11:17,250
_
278
00:11:19,634 --> 00:11:22,101
♪
279
00:11:23,110 --> 00:11:25,129
_
280
00:11:26,312 --> 00:11:27,669
_
281
00:11:30,302 --> 00:11:32,780
_
282
00:11:32,780 --> 00:11:35,249
[EXCLAIMS] Just give the ice cream back.
283
00:11:35,283 --> 00:11:37,817
No way. It was really hard to scoop.
284
00:11:37,841 --> 00:11:39,119
_
285
00:11:39,120 --> 00:11:40,921
[DOOR BELL TINKLES]
286
00:11:40,956 --> 00:11:43,190
Prepare to have your ears belted.
287
00:11:46,094 --> 00:11:49,129
♪ My funny valentine ♪
288
00:11:49,163 --> 00:11:52,633
♪ Sweet, comic valentine ♪
289
00:11:52,667 --> 00:11:53,634
Nelson?
290
00:11:53,668 --> 00:11:56,437
♪ You make me smile ♪
291
00:11:56,471 --> 00:11:59,340
♪ With my heart ♪
292
00:12:01,275 --> 00:12:03,443
Stop! Why are you doing this?
293
00:12:03,477 --> 00:12:06,113
I don't know. There's no
good word for what I feel.
294
00:12:06,147 --> 00:12:09,283
Scared and excited at the same time.
295
00:12:09,317 --> 00:12:11,284
There is a word: vulnerable.
296
00:12:11,318 --> 00:12:13,354
"Vulner-able"?
297
00:12:15,490 --> 00:12:17,157
Yup. I always liked you,
298
00:12:17,192 --> 00:12:20,094
but now I'm seeing you in a new light.
299
00:12:24,331 --> 00:12:27,100
♪ Your looks are laughable ♪
300
00:12:27,134 --> 00:12:28,568
Haw-haw!
301
00:12:28,602 --> 00:12:31,371
♪ Unphotographable ♪
302
00:12:31,405 --> 00:12:34,540
♪ But you're my favorite ♪
303
00:12:34,576 --> 00:12:36,644
[OFF-KEY]: ♪ Work of art ♪
304
00:12:36,677 --> 00:12:37,644
[LOW]: ♪ Art ♪
305
00:12:37,678 --> 00:12:38,711
[LOWER]: ♪ Art ♪
306
00:12:38,746 --> 00:12:39,846
[WAY OFF-KEY]: ♪ Art. ♪
307
00:12:39,880 --> 00:12:41,414
Nailed it. [GRUNTS]
308
00:12:44,854 --> 00:12:47,898
And so now there's a jazz war over me.
309
00:12:47,898 --> 00:12:50,533
It's pretty bad. But it's pretty great.
310
00:12:50,567 --> 00:12:54,169
Uh-huh. Scotland once had two
queens fightin' over her.
311
00:12:54,205 --> 00:12:55,904
Loser got Scotland.
_
312
00:12:55,940 --> 00:12:57,840
Of course, Brendan
is the superior artist.
313
00:12:57,875 --> 00:12:59,475
But that kind of intimidates me.
314
00:12:59,509 --> 00:13:01,177
And Nelson's rough, but he's sweet.
315
00:13:01,211 --> 00:13:02,678
Plus he thinks I have dimples.
316
00:13:02,712 --> 00:13:04,947
Dimples? It's that serious?
317
00:13:04,981 --> 00:13:07,517
- [SCOTTISH ACCENT]: Aye.
- Let me give ye advice on love.
318
00:13:07,551 --> 00:13:10,485
The Scottish national flower
is the thistle.
319
00:13:10,520 --> 00:13:12,488
A humble weed. Legend has it
_
320
00:13:12,523 --> 00:13:14,256
that the Norse King Haakon
321
00:13:14,291 --> 00:13:16,625
staged a surprise invasion.
322
00:13:16,659 --> 00:13:19,796
But his barefooted army
stepped on thistles,
323
00:13:19,830 --> 00:13:22,865
and their screams
awakened the sleepy Scots.
324
00:13:25,402 --> 00:13:28,705
Many a Norwegian lass
lamented their dead lover
325
00:13:28,739 --> 00:13:31,039
- on that glorious day.
- SKINNER: Willie,
326
00:13:31,075 --> 00:13:33,875
someone spiked the teachers'
vodka with sulfuric acid.
327
00:13:33,911 --> 00:13:36,211
Superintendent Chalmers
lost the tip of his tongue.
328
00:13:36,246 --> 00:13:37,779
Kin-ner!
329
00:13:37,815 --> 00:13:40,250
[SIGHS]
330
00:13:40,283 --> 00:13:42,118
Lisa, this is a song about you.
331
00:13:42,152 --> 00:13:44,419
- A kid who's almost there.
- [GRUMBLES]
332
00:13:44,455 --> 00:13:46,422
And when you get there,
you'll blow the roof off.
333
00:13:46,456 --> 00:13:47,590
Oh.
334
00:13:47,625 --> 00:13:49,625
♪
335
00:13:52,929 --> 00:13:55,898
Yeah, well, I brought my washboard.
336
00:13:55,932 --> 00:13:59,201
[SCRAPING]
337
00:13:59,235 --> 00:14:01,638
Nelson. You took our washboard.
338
00:14:01,672 --> 00:14:05,341
I got thongs to scrub.
339
00:14:06,442 --> 00:14:07,644
I really can't believe
340
00:14:07,677 --> 00:14:08,945
that this is a choice.
341
00:14:08,979 --> 00:14:10,178
I mean, look at me.
342
00:14:10,214 --> 00:14:11,581
And look at him.
343
00:14:11,615 --> 00:14:13,615
And then look back at me.
344
00:14:14,817 --> 00:14:16,786
Hmm, they're quiet.
345
00:14:16,820 --> 00:14:18,520
Too quiet.
346
00:14:18,554 --> 00:14:20,556
[BART AND MILHOUSE LAUGH]
347
00:14:20,591 --> 00:14:21,857
Now they're loud.
348
00:14:21,892 --> 00:14:23,158
Too loud.
349
00:14:23,192 --> 00:14:24,527
[BART AND MILHOUSE CHUCKLE]
350
00:14:24,561 --> 00:14:26,528
Now they're just right.
351
00:14:26,562 --> 00:14:28,163
Too just right.
352
00:14:28,197 --> 00:14:30,299
Are you sure
Bart's not planning anything?
353
00:14:30,333 --> 00:14:32,302
A boy takes his cues from his mother.
354
00:14:32,336 --> 00:14:34,903
If I trust him, then he'll be good.
355
00:14:34,937 --> 00:14:37,173
Hey, don't knock my mother's method...
356
00:14:37,206 --> 00:14:39,308
complete abandonment from age five.
357
00:14:39,342 --> 00:14:41,511
[BART AND MILHOUSE GIGGLE]
358
00:14:41,511 --> 00:14:42,979
HOMER: Hmm.
359
00:14:43,013 --> 00:14:45,248
The school talent show.
360
00:14:45,282 --> 00:14:47,716
And on the back, chemical equations.
361
00:14:47,750 --> 00:14:49,284
Still think he's innocent?
362
00:14:49,320 --> 00:14:51,653
We'll just have to go there and see.
363
00:14:54,290 --> 00:14:57,225
You wanted rock candy,
you got rock candy.
364
00:14:57,260 --> 00:14:58,628
Mmm.
365
00:14:58,662 --> 00:15:00,797
Brendan and Nelson are fighting.
_
366
00:15:00,831 --> 00:15:04,466
I'm getting Daddy's gun
to under-arrest them.
367
00:15:04,500 --> 00:15:05,467
Oh, no.
368
00:15:05,501 --> 00:15:07,669
I'm gonna call you decrescendo,
369
00:15:07,705 --> 00:15:09,772
'cause you're goin' down.
370
00:15:09,807 --> 00:15:11,341
Nelson, that's clever.
371
00:15:11,375 --> 00:15:14,476
Thanks. For you, I read a book.
372
00:15:15,879 --> 00:15:17,513
All right, Ralphie, easy, easy.
373
00:15:17,548 --> 00:15:19,548
Give Daddy back his hat.
374
00:15:21,018 --> 00:15:24,386
Oh, you missed everything,
just like Daddy.
375
00:15:26,056 --> 00:15:27,356
[SAXOPHONE PLAYING]
376
00:15:28,692 --> 00:15:30,860
Ugh, so many clams.
377
00:15:30,894 --> 00:15:34,663
Well, you're gonna look
very nice for the show tonight.
378
00:15:34,697 --> 00:15:37,033
It doesn't matter how I look,
I'm not ready.
379
00:15:37,067 --> 00:15:39,568
I've been so distracted by those boys.
380
00:15:39,602 --> 00:15:41,169
How did you choose Dad?
381
00:15:41,205 --> 00:15:42,705
And never regret it?
382
00:15:42,740 --> 00:15:44,673
HOMER: Marge, I might've swallowed
383
00:15:44,707 --> 00:15:46,709
a couple of your earrings.
384
00:15:48,379 --> 00:15:50,379
Gotta go.
385
00:15:51,215 --> 00:15:53,048
[MARGE HUMMING]
386
00:15:53,082 --> 00:15:56,351
I do not want to know
how you got these back.
387
00:15:56,386 --> 00:15:58,254
So, we're really doing it.
388
00:15:58,288 --> 00:16:00,322
We're going to a talent show
389
00:16:00,356 --> 00:16:03,592
where Bart is putting on
a chemistry demonstration.
390
00:16:03,626 --> 00:16:04,994
Have I got that right?
391
00:16:05,028 --> 00:16:07,296
If our faces get melted off today,
392
00:16:07,331 --> 00:16:09,565
I want the last thing Bart sees
393
00:16:09,600 --> 00:16:11,701
to be us believing in him.
394
00:16:11,735 --> 00:16:13,936
Fine, fine. Let me just finish my will.
395
00:16:15,169 --> 00:16:18,783
_
396
00:16:18,808 --> 00:16:20,475
And... [EXCLAIMS]
397
00:16:20,510 --> 00:16:22,711
Oh, it's good
to have that taken care of.
398
00:16:22,745 --> 00:16:25,047
[ORCHESTRA WARMING UP]
_
399
00:16:25,081 --> 00:16:28,116
[SINGING SCALES] ♪ Haw-haw-haw,
haw-haw-haw, haw. ♪
400
00:16:28,152 --> 00:16:29,751
Nelson? A word?
401
00:16:29,787 --> 00:16:31,220
Take five, Martin.
402
00:16:31,254 --> 00:16:32,889
I'm not even in your act.
403
00:16:32,923 --> 00:16:35,290
- I said take five.
- [WHIMPERS]
404
00:16:35,325 --> 00:16:36,893
Ooh!
_
405
00:16:36,927 --> 00:16:39,528
Nelson, I cherish
our unhealthy relationship.
406
00:16:39,562 --> 00:16:42,230
Especially the fact
that I can tell you the truth.
407
00:16:42,265 --> 00:16:44,299
Kiddo, you're not a singer.
408
00:16:44,334 --> 00:16:46,235
Okay, fine, I won't sing.
409
00:16:46,269 --> 00:16:47,937
But I'll still perform.
410
00:16:47,971 --> 00:16:51,139
That's how much I want
to hold your stupid hand.
411
00:16:51,174 --> 00:16:52,408
Oh.
412
00:16:52,442 --> 00:16:54,677
You're up, Nelson.
413
00:16:57,181 --> 00:16:58,648
Hello.
414
00:16:58,682 --> 00:17:00,582
I'm the school bully.
415
00:17:00,616 --> 00:17:02,518
[AUDIENCE BOOING]
416
00:17:02,552 --> 00:17:03,919
Aw, don't be a dingus.
417
00:17:03,953 --> 00:17:05,488
I'm the next Charlie Mingus.
418
00:17:05,521 --> 00:17:06,888
- [GASPS]
- [NELSON PLAYING BASS]
419
00:17:06,923 --> 00:17:08,557
Could I really choose him?
420
00:17:08,592 --> 00:17:11,326
♪
421
00:17:24,942 --> 00:17:27,375
[GASPS] My choice is clear: Brendan.
422
00:17:27,411 --> 00:17:28,978
♪
423
00:17:29,011 --> 00:17:30,946
- [BOOING]
- MAN: Ooh, yeah, I feel the groove.
424
00:17:33,717 --> 00:17:36,685
Next contestant, Brendan Beiderbecke.
425
00:17:39,589 --> 00:17:41,123
And Brendan wins!
426
00:17:41,157 --> 00:17:42,525
[LISPING] Not so fast.
427
00:17:42,558 --> 00:17:44,626
We have a disqualification.
428
00:17:44,661 --> 00:17:47,663
This young man does not
live in the district.
429
00:17:47,698 --> 00:17:50,232
Right, his home is 50 feet
into West Springfield,
430
00:17:50,267 --> 00:17:52,434
which means he will be
transferred to a school
431
00:17:52,469 --> 00:17:55,837
three buses and a long bike ride
away from here.
432
00:17:55,873 --> 00:17:57,707
- Brendan...
- No, Lisa.
433
00:17:57,740 --> 00:17:59,040
I can't put you through that.
434
00:17:59,076 --> 00:18:00,809
I guess this relationship is over
435
00:18:00,844 --> 00:18:04,247
until this town invests in mass transit.
436
00:18:06,616 --> 00:18:07,884
[CRIES]
437
00:18:07,917 --> 00:18:11,053
I'll never see him again.
438
00:18:11,087 --> 00:18:13,855
Lisa, I'm glad you didn't choose me.
439
00:18:13,891 --> 00:18:15,958
No woman is worth learning music.
440
00:18:15,992 --> 00:18:17,626
All this time I've been choosing jazz
441
00:18:17,661 --> 00:18:19,494
over doing my reps.
442
00:18:19,529 --> 00:18:21,797
Well, my reps never let me down.
443
00:18:21,832 --> 00:18:23,833
Lift weights, get dates.
444
00:18:23,866 --> 00:18:25,968
Lift weights, get dates.
445
00:18:26,002 --> 00:18:28,671
Well, I guess I'm alone for the moment.
446
00:18:28,704 --> 00:18:30,506
And I like it.
447
00:18:30,540 --> 00:18:32,240
- Good for Lisa.
- She's better off alone.
448
00:18:32,276 --> 00:18:33,808
She doesn't need a man.
449
00:18:33,844 --> 00:18:35,577
Wait a minute, everybody. Even though
450
00:18:35,612 --> 00:18:37,646
the most interesting and
emotionally compelling part
451
00:18:37,681 --> 00:18:39,648
is over, we still have one performer
452
00:18:39,682 --> 00:18:42,417
who says he will "blow you away."
453
00:18:42,451 --> 00:18:45,887
So please welcome the original
Dennis the Chemist,
454
00:18:45,923 --> 00:18:47,455
Bart Simpson.
455
00:18:47,490 --> 00:18:49,491
♪
456
00:18:54,030 --> 00:18:56,598
Drop the beaker, Screwy Pasteur.
457
00:18:56,633 --> 00:18:57,967
[CHUCKLES]
458
00:18:58,000 --> 00:19:00,736
No. I wasn't doing anything bad.
459
00:19:00,770 --> 00:19:02,305
Pour the beaker and you'll see.
460
00:19:02,338 --> 00:19:05,173
We are not gonna let you
mix those chemicals.
461
00:19:05,208 --> 00:19:07,175
We got a tip from an anonymous source
462
00:19:07,210 --> 00:19:09,045
named Seymour Skinner.
463
00:19:09,078 --> 00:19:11,547
Do you even know what "anonymous" means?
464
00:19:11,582 --> 00:19:13,281
Uh, helpful?
465
00:19:13,317 --> 00:19:14,416
[MARGE GROANS]
466
00:19:14,451 --> 00:19:15,917
Mom, I'm innocent.
467
00:19:15,952 --> 00:19:17,553
You believe me, don't you?
468
00:19:17,587 --> 00:19:20,056
Oh, if he's lying,
I'll never forgive him.
469
00:19:20,089 --> 00:19:22,724
If he's telling the truth,
he'll never forgive me.
470
00:19:22,759 --> 00:19:26,061
[SHORT CHUCKLE] Glad I'm not you.
471
00:19:26,096 --> 00:19:29,230
Bart, sweetie,
I'll pour the beaker for you.
472
00:19:29,266 --> 00:19:30,932
[YELPS, WHIMPERS]
473
00:19:30,968 --> 00:19:32,835
[GRUNTING]
474
00:19:34,938 --> 00:19:36,939
♪
475
00:19:43,113 --> 00:19:45,047
ALL: Ooh!
476
00:19:45,082 --> 00:19:47,115
Ah!
477
00:19:48,951 --> 00:19:51,386
He's innocent. But then
who put the sulfuric acid
478
00:19:51,421 --> 00:19:53,279
in Superintendent Chalmers' drink?
479
00:19:53,279 --> 00:19:54,423
I did.
480
00:19:54,458 --> 00:19:56,925
- Willie! Why?
- Why?
481
00:19:56,960 --> 00:20:00,028
Because, Seymour,
I was trying to kill you.
482
00:20:00,063 --> 00:20:02,397
[LISPING] Well, that's okay. Good man.
483
00:20:02,432 --> 00:20:03,932
- But...
- Quiet, Seymour.
484
00:20:03,967 --> 00:20:05,601
The man's got a dream.
485
00:20:05,635 --> 00:20:07,269
Mmm.
486
00:20:07,304 --> 00:20:10,205
I never doubted you.
487
00:20:10,240 --> 00:20:11,807
Well, you should have.
488
00:20:14,310 --> 00:20:16,311
♪
489
00:20:20,856 --> 00:20:25,077
_
490
00:20:25,891 --> 00:20:28,692
I'm sorry. I'm so sorry.
491
00:20:28,727 --> 00:20:30,827
This episode was supposed
to have been a parody
492
00:20:30,862 --> 00:20:33,830
of Moonlight, not La La Land.
493
00:20:33,865 --> 00:20:36,200
Moonlight? But none of us have seen it.
494
00:20:36,233 --> 00:20:38,801
We have the DVD.
We could watch it tonight.
495
00:20:38,836 --> 00:20:41,137
Either that or X-Men: Apocalypse.
496
00:20:41,172 --> 00:20:42,640
ALL: X-Men!
497
00:20:42,673 --> 00:20:44,674
I'd like to see Moonlight.
498
00:20:44,699 --> 00:20:52,431
- Sync and corrections by ByDem -
- www.addic7ed.com -
35098
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Bosnian
Breton
Bulgarian
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Faroese
Finnish
Frisian
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Guarani
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Japanese
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Korean
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese (Brazil)
Portuguese (Portugal)
Quechua
Romansh
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhalese
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Tigrinya
Tonga
Turkish
Turkmen
Ukrainian
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof