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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:09,740 --> 00:00:11,240 [EXCLAIMS] 2 00:00:15,840 --> 00:00:17,641 [SCHOOL BELL RINGS] 3 00:00:19,978 --> 00:00:21,111 [BURPS] 4 00:00:21,146 --> 00:00:23,146 [WHISTLE BLOWS] 5 00:00:23,181 --> 00:00:24,649 [YELLS] 6 00:00:29,153 --> 00:00:30,153 [BEEPS] 7 00:00:33,826 --> 00:00:35,792 ♪ 8 00:00:36,697 --> 00:00:38,698 [PLAYING LIVELY JAZZ MUSIC] 9 00:00:58,137 --> 00:00:59,512 - [HORN HONKS] - [GRAMPA YELLS] 10 00:01:00,073 --> 00:01:01,073 [TIRES SCREECH] 11 00:01:03,365 --> 00:01:05,365 D'oh! 12 00:01:05,400 --> 00:01:07,034 [GRUNTS] 13 00:01:07,069 --> 00:01:09,370 [ORGAN PLAYING OLD-TIMEY MUSIC] 14 00:01:09,394 --> 00:01:11,394 _ 15 00:01:11,539 --> 00:01:13,707 ♪ 16 00:01:13,731 --> 00:01:15,731 _ 17 00:01:15,756 --> 00:01:17,756 _ 18 00:01:17,780 --> 00:01:19,780 _ 19 00:01:19,804 --> 00:01:21,804 _ 20 00:01:21,828 --> 00:01:23,828 _ 21 00:01:37,900 --> 00:01:40,734 [ORGAN PLAYING UPBEAT VERSION OF "THE SIMPSONS THEME"] 22 00:01:40,759 --> 00:01:42,759 _ 23 00:01:51,270 --> 00:01:56,237 - Sync and corrections by ByDem - - www.addic7ed.com - 24 00:01:57,286 --> 00:01:58,753 This is Kent Brockman on location 25 00:01:58,787 --> 00:02:00,721 among the good people of Springfield. 26 00:02:01,989 --> 00:02:03,524 - [KENT GROANS] - MAN: Coward! 27 00:02:03,557 --> 00:02:06,459 Because today, we celebrate beautiful Skyline Park, 28 00:02:06,495 --> 00:02:08,128 a reclamation project built atop the ruins 29 00:02:08,163 --> 00:02:10,531 of the Springfield Monorail. 30 00:02:10,564 --> 00:02:13,300 CROWD [CHANTING]: Monorail. Monorail. Monorail. Monorail. 31 00:02:13,335 --> 00:02:15,770 No, they're not building a new monorail. 32 00:02:15,804 --> 00:02:17,771 Why not? This one couldn't fail. 33 00:02:17,806 --> 00:02:19,372 [CHANTING]: Couldn't fail. Couldn't fail. 34 00:02:19,408 --> 00:02:21,542 [LISPING]: ♪ It's a monstrous creation ♪ 35 00:02:21,575 --> 00:02:23,144 ♪ Of mass transportation. ♪ 36 00:02:23,177 --> 00:02:24,177 [GASPS] 37 00:02:26,814 --> 00:02:29,349 RALPH: Throw me again! [GIGGLES] 38 00:02:29,384 --> 00:02:31,651 No, we're repurposing the old monorail track 39 00:02:31,687 --> 00:02:33,788 into a completely new and original feature 40 00:02:33,822 --> 00:02:35,288 we ripped off from New York: 41 00:02:35,324 --> 00:02:39,026 the Springfield Skypark-Line. 42 00:02:39,061 --> 00:02:40,461 I love this space. 43 00:02:40,495 --> 00:02:42,295 Planters, benches, 44 00:02:42,331 --> 00:02:45,966 solar-powered talking trash cans. 45 00:02:46,001 --> 00:02:49,469 AUTOMATED VOICE: Thank you for the used porn. 46 00:02:49,503 --> 00:02:51,138 [BUZZER SOUNDS] 47 00:02:51,173 --> 00:02:52,973 [HOMER HUMS, GRUNTS] 48 00:02:53,008 --> 00:02:55,209 Huh? [GRUNTS] 49 00:02:55,242 --> 00:02:58,145 [GRUNTS] 50 00:02:58,180 --> 00:03:00,114 Uh, okay, uh, do we go, uh, 51 00:03:00,147 --> 00:03:02,650 gut to gut or, uh, butt-butt to nut? 52 00:03:02,683 --> 00:03:05,453 Don't worry, we'll use the bypass board. 53 00:03:06,520 --> 00:03:08,622 Okay, fatsos, suck it in. 54 00:03:08,657 --> 00:03:09,824 - Oh! - Whoa. [CHUCKLES] 55 00:03:09,858 --> 00:03:11,292 [CLOTHES SQUEAKING] 56 00:03:11,325 --> 00:03:13,294 [GRUNTS]: Oh! 57 00:03:13,328 --> 00:03:16,296 [CHUCKLES] I got Homer's sandwich. 58 00:03:16,330 --> 00:03:17,965 I got Wiggum's gun. 59 00:03:18,000 --> 00:03:20,200 And now, to culminate today's events, 60 00:03:20,235 --> 00:03:21,801 let's turn on the electricity 61 00:03:21,836 --> 00:03:24,872 that illuminates the tiny "no smoking" signs. 62 00:03:24,906 --> 00:03:25,906 [ELECTRICITY BUZZES] 63 00:03:30,045 --> 00:03:32,847 [ELECTRICITY CRACKLING] 64 00:03:36,518 --> 00:03:38,853 Huh? Somehow the track is getting juice! 65 00:03:41,590 --> 00:03:43,924 Yes! Now to put it on power save. 66 00:03:46,027 --> 00:03:47,495 The monorail... it's alive! 67 00:03:47,528 --> 00:03:49,030 I warned you not to... 68 00:03:53,001 --> 00:03:54,735 [PEOPLE SCREAMING] 69 00:04:00,008 --> 00:04:01,442 Ha-ha! 70 00:04:03,110 --> 00:04:04,512 [WILHELM SCREAM] 71 00:04:09,116 --> 00:04:11,185 AUTOMATED VOICE: Welcome, senior citizen. 72 00:04:11,218 --> 00:04:13,454 [PEOPLE SCREAMING] 73 00:04:19,461 --> 00:04:21,862 No more Nimoy! 74 00:04:25,966 --> 00:04:28,502 On the positive side, with this disaster, 75 00:04:28,536 --> 00:04:31,105 we have surpassed Detroit and Kabul 76 00:04:31,139 --> 00:04:33,206 as the world's most unlucky city. 77 00:04:33,240 --> 00:04:34,875 Er, ah, er. 78 00:04:34,909 --> 00:04:38,812 Couldn't you have at least put little wedges under the wheels? 79 00:04:38,846 --> 00:04:41,649 Er, uh, sorry, sweetheart, but running a city is 80 00:04:41,682 --> 00:04:45,319 a little more complicated than getting your nails done. 81 00:04:45,353 --> 00:04:47,221 - [ANNOYED GROAN] - Don't you worry 82 00:04:47,254 --> 00:04:49,322 your pretty little head about it. 83 00:04:49,356 --> 00:04:51,891 Mr. Mayor, that is so sexist. 84 00:04:51,927 --> 00:04:55,329 Uh-oh, sounds like someone's girdle is pinching. 85 00:04:55,362 --> 00:04:57,331 [LAUGHTER] 86 00:04:57,365 --> 00:04:58,832 Well, now, it's all in fun. 87 00:04:58,867 --> 00:05:00,935 No one respects you ladies more than I. 88 00:05:00,968 --> 00:05:03,269 Now if you wouldn't mind serving the coffee and cake, 89 00:05:03,305 --> 00:05:05,271 we men can get down to business. 90 00:05:05,307 --> 00:05:06,574 [MARGE MUTTERS] 91 00:05:06,608 --> 00:05:08,576 This is the last time I'm doing this. 92 00:05:08,610 --> 00:05:10,411 So I better do it perfectly. 93 00:05:10,444 --> 00:05:12,512 Here you go, Dr. Hibbert. 94 00:05:12,547 --> 00:05:14,949 -[KNIFE CHOPPING] -[MARGE GRUNTING] 95 00:05:14,983 --> 00:05:18,084 I can't believe Mayor Quimby talking down to me like that. 96 00:05:18,120 --> 00:05:20,821 And by the way, women don't wear girdles anymore. 97 00:05:20,855 --> 00:05:23,490 We wear Spanx and other shapewear. 98 00:05:23,524 --> 00:05:25,024 [SCOFFS] Tell me about it. 99 00:05:29,130 --> 00:05:33,167 People think we've moved on, but this world is as sexist as ever. 100 00:05:33,201 --> 00:05:34,768 Thanks, Obama. 101 00:05:34,802 --> 00:05:36,670 What's so great about Quimby anyway? 102 00:05:36,704 --> 00:05:38,105 I could cut a ribbon. 103 00:05:38,139 --> 00:05:39,673 And I could make it curl nicely 104 00:05:39,707 --> 00:05:42,009 using the edge of the giant scissors. 105 00:05:42,043 --> 00:05:44,177 You'd be a great mayor, Mom. 106 00:05:44,211 --> 00:05:46,012 You're organized, you manage the budget, 107 00:05:46,047 --> 00:05:49,350 and thanks to Dad, you're an expert on the court system. 108 00:05:49,384 --> 00:05:51,851 Fun fact: being a defendant gets you out of jury duty. 109 00:05:51,887 --> 00:05:52,853 [CHUCKLES] 110 00:05:52,887 --> 00:05:55,189 Mom, this is our time. 111 00:05:55,223 --> 00:05:57,324 Wonder Woman showed that if you're a goddess 112 00:05:57,358 --> 00:06:00,461 with superpowers, there's no limit to what you can do. 113 00:06:00,495 --> 00:06:02,428 You could be mayor! 114 00:06:02,463 --> 00:06:03,831 Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. 115 00:06:03,865 --> 00:06:06,266 A woman prime minister, okay. 116 00:06:06,300 --> 00:06:08,168 Women Ghostbusters, cool. 117 00:06:08,202 --> 00:06:09,802 Woman head of the Federal Reserve, 118 00:06:09,838 --> 00:06:11,971 as far as I'm concerned, what's that? 119 00:06:12,007 --> 00:06:13,473 But a woman mayor? 120 00:06:13,507 --> 00:06:17,011 If Mom becomes mayor, we can get away with anything. 121 00:06:17,045 --> 00:06:18,711 [HIP-HOP MUSIC PLAYS] 122 00:06:20,214 --> 00:06:22,149 Help me, Jesus! 123 00:06:22,184 --> 00:06:24,185 [HEAVENLY CHOIR SINGING] 124 00:06:27,721 --> 00:06:29,790 Pick a side. 125 00:06:29,824 --> 00:06:31,524 [WIND WHISTLES] 126 00:06:31,560 --> 00:06:33,961 [HIP-HOP MUSIC PLAYS] 127 00:06:33,995 --> 00:06:35,362 [LAUGHS] 128 00:06:35,396 --> 00:06:37,331 Hey. Where'd everybody go? 129 00:06:37,365 --> 00:06:40,600 JULIO: Marge, this town is ready for a change. 130 00:06:40,634 --> 00:06:42,836 Quimby has been mayor, like, forever. 131 00:06:42,870 --> 00:06:44,672 You'd think he could lose that sash. 132 00:06:44,706 --> 00:06:46,774 It's like, we know, okay? 133 00:06:46,807 --> 00:06:48,108 All right now, listen. 134 00:06:48,143 --> 00:06:50,177 The key to victory is micro-targeting. 135 00:06:50,211 --> 00:06:51,545 Micro-targeting. 136 00:06:51,579 --> 00:06:53,680 Think of the voters as a pie. 137 00:06:53,715 --> 00:06:55,014 [PHONE RINGS] 138 00:06:55,050 --> 00:06:57,283 Yes, Homer, someone here said "pie." 139 00:06:57,319 --> 00:06:58,952 I know, "Mmm, pie." 140 00:06:58,987 --> 00:07:00,387 [DROOLING MOAN] 141 00:07:00,422 --> 00:07:01,788 I'm sorry, go on. 142 00:07:01,822 --> 00:07:05,559 Uh, we use data analysis to divide the pie 143 00:07:05,593 --> 00:07:07,228 into tiny little slivers 144 00:07:07,262 --> 00:07:09,663 and tailor a message to each micro-group. 145 00:07:09,697 --> 00:07:11,064 [CLEARS THROAT] 146 00:07:11,098 --> 00:07:14,235 You just tell them what they want to hear until you get 51%. 147 00:07:14,269 --> 00:07:17,237 Then you can govern like a far-right nut-job. 148 00:07:17,271 --> 00:07:20,608 MARGE [TO "OH! SUSANNA"]: ♪ I'm Marge Simpson ♪ 149 00:07:20,641 --> 00:07:22,942 ♪ And won't you vote for me? ♪ 150 00:07:22,978 --> 00:07:25,612 ♪ Whatever your obsession is ♪ _ 151 00:07:25,646 --> 00:07:28,115 ♪ Is my priority. ♪ 152 00:07:28,149 --> 00:07:31,619 I stand with you against revenuers. 153 00:07:31,653 --> 00:07:34,288 Oh, uh, durn revenuers! 154 00:07:34,322 --> 00:07:36,956 Well, you's the new John Galt, aren't you? 155 00:07:36,992 --> 00:07:41,060 Hey, can you take a picture with our Ayn Rand scarecrow? 156 00:07:42,062 --> 00:07:44,264 [CAWING] 157 00:07:44,298 --> 00:07:47,468 CHORUS: ♪ From widows to your lunch pail Joes ♪ 158 00:07:47,502 --> 00:07:49,970 ♪ To vets of foreign wars ♪ 159 00:07:50,004 --> 00:07:52,206 ♪ There's no single-issue voter ♪ _ 160 00:07:52,240 --> 00:07:55,042 ♪ My campaign will ignore. ♪ 161 00:07:55,076 --> 00:07:57,211 Marge, we really appreciate this. 162 00:07:57,245 --> 00:08:00,047 You're the first politician that's ever met with us weirdos. 163 00:08:00,081 --> 00:08:03,617 What's the biggest issue you exotic pet owners face? 164 00:08:03,651 --> 00:08:05,718 Keeping our pets from eating each other. 165 00:08:05,754 --> 00:08:08,254 Yes. As the owner of an impala, I... 166 00:08:08,290 --> 00:08:10,723 - Hey, where'd it go? - Oh, boy. 167 00:08:10,759 --> 00:08:13,961 ♪ From soccer moms to mafia dons ♪ 168 00:08:13,995 --> 00:08:16,764 ♪ I'll give you what you need ♪ 169 00:08:16,798 --> 00:08:19,065 MARGE AND CHORUS: ♪ I'm Marge Simpson ♪ 170 00:08:19,100 --> 00:08:21,834 ♪ And won't you vote for me? Yeah! ♪ 171 00:08:22,937 --> 00:08:24,971 Why do people assume all I can do 172 00:08:25,005 --> 00:08:28,074 is feed spaghetti to dogs that want to make out? 173 00:08:28,108 --> 00:08:29,410 What do you want to do? 174 00:08:29,444 --> 00:08:32,312 Carve a little wooden boy and make him come to life. 175 00:08:32,346 --> 00:08:33,413 Oh. 176 00:08:33,447 --> 00:08:35,448 - [HOMER HUMMING] - ♪ 177 00:08:38,559 --> 00:08:40,559 _ 178 00:08:41,855 --> 00:08:44,258 Now, for our third and fourth party candidates, 179 00:08:44,292 --> 00:08:47,695 I regret to say you are just shy of the polling results required, 180 00:08:47,729 --> 00:08:49,529 so you're excluded from the debate. 181 00:08:49,563 --> 00:08:51,465 Bye-bye. 182 00:08:51,499 --> 00:08:54,168 Mrs. Simpson, you've targeted small constituencies. 183 00:08:54,201 --> 00:08:56,169 Do you have any proposals that would appeal 184 00:08:56,203 --> 00:08:58,004 to every Springfielder? 185 00:08:59,606 --> 00:09:01,307 Well, Kent, I am a mom. 186 00:09:01,342 --> 00:09:05,979 And as a mom, I want to help this town eat its vegetables. 187 00:09:06,014 --> 00:09:07,581 [ANGRY MURMURING] 188 00:09:07,615 --> 00:09:09,649 [CHUCKLES] Vegetables, Marge? 189 00:09:09,683 --> 00:09:11,652 As moderator, it's my duty to fact check 190 00:09:11,686 --> 00:09:13,419 that many of them are yucky. 191 00:09:13,455 --> 00:09:14,988 It's a metaphor. 192 00:09:15,023 --> 00:09:16,490 Stinkin' metaphors! 193 00:09:16,524 --> 00:09:18,458 I only trust similes. 194 00:09:18,493 --> 00:09:19,960 I enjoy metaphors. 195 00:09:19,994 --> 00:09:22,586 They're raindrops on the flower that is the ear. 196 00:09:22,586 --> 00:09:24,421 You put in a "like" or an "as," 197 00:09:24,456 --> 00:09:26,557 or so help me you are going down. 198 00:09:29,408 --> 00:09:31,042 HELEN: She's completely cooked. 199 00:09:31,076 --> 00:09:33,610 Unlike the chicken she brought to the potluck. 200 00:09:33,645 --> 00:09:35,947 LOVEJOY: Oh, Helen is as bitter as the lemonade 201 00:09:35,980 --> 00:09:37,381 she brought to the potluck. 202 00:09:37,415 --> 00:09:40,451 What a terrible potluck that was. 203 00:09:40,485 --> 00:09:42,986 SIDESHOW MEL: Why wasn't this a town hall event? 204 00:09:43,022 --> 00:09:45,923 I like to see them balance on the stools. 205 00:09:50,261 --> 00:09:51,895 You know, my entire life, 206 00:09:51,931 --> 00:09:54,566 that stupid tire fire has been burning. 207 00:09:54,600 --> 00:09:56,467 And it's ruined our town. 208 00:09:56,501 --> 00:09:59,136 [MURMURS OF AGREEMENT] 209 00:09:59,171 --> 00:10:01,339 I promise, if you elect me, 210 00:10:01,374 --> 00:10:03,307 I'll put that fire out. 211 00:10:03,341 --> 00:10:05,976 [EXCITED CHATTER] 212 00:10:06,010 --> 00:10:07,177 No tire fire? 213 00:10:07,212 --> 00:10:08,947 Ooh, just like Zurich. 214 00:10:08,980 --> 00:10:10,048 - Mm. - Mm. 215 00:10:11,549 --> 00:10:13,500 [BELL DINGING] 216 00:10:13,500 --> 00:10:15,033 FRINK [SINGSONGY]: Mm-hmm! 217 00:10:15,067 --> 00:10:16,817 Is that enough? 218 00:10:16,817 --> 00:10:18,884 And with the last senior citizen gently reminded 219 00:10:18,918 --> 00:10:22,221 that they cannot vote at IHOP, the results are now final. 220 00:10:22,255 --> 00:10:23,556 History is made. 221 00:10:23,590 --> 00:10:25,524 Marge Simpson is our new mayor. 222 00:10:25,558 --> 00:10:29,062 The first woman and the second to pee sitting down. 223 00:10:29,096 --> 00:10:31,397 CROWD [CHANTING]: Marge! Marge! Marge! 224 00:10:31,432 --> 00:10:32,932 Thank you. 225 00:10:34,100 --> 00:10:37,135 Homie, you want to make out with the mayor? 226 00:10:37,171 --> 00:10:39,739 What? No! Ew! 227 00:10:39,773 --> 00:10:41,908 Oh, you mean you. 228 00:10:41,942 --> 00:10:44,911 [BOTH LAUGHING] 229 00:10:44,945 --> 00:10:46,078 Okay. 230 00:10:46,113 --> 00:10:48,379 Now I really wish I'd voted. 231 00:10:55,316 --> 00:10:57,476 Whee! Whee! 232 00:10:57,476 --> 00:10:59,812 Look at me! I'm a public servant! 233 00:10:59,846 --> 00:11:01,212 Woo-hoo! 234 00:11:01,246 --> 00:11:04,383 KENT: And so our new mayor is doing what was unthinkable 235 00:11:04,417 --> 00:11:06,985 in the Quimby Regime: something. 236 00:11:07,019 --> 00:11:09,254 Roll the 'dozers! 237 00:11:11,423 --> 00:11:13,258 [CROWD CHEERING] 238 00:11:16,261 --> 00:11:17,572 [CROWD GASPS] 239 00:11:17,572 --> 00:11:19,063 Well, sorry, 240 00:11:19,097 --> 00:11:22,533 but I-I can't let you put me out of business. 241 00:11:22,568 --> 00:11:24,235 [CHUCKLES] 242 00:11:24,269 --> 00:11:29,073 You'd ruin the air for the whole town just to sell knickknacks? 243 00:11:29,107 --> 00:11:30,241 Knickknacks? 244 00:11:30,275 --> 00:11:32,076 They-they may be to you, 245 00:11:32,110 --> 00:11:35,246 but, uh, they put my son through med school. 246 00:11:35,280 --> 00:11:38,383 He named, um, uh, a-a stammer after me. 247 00:11:38,418 --> 00:11:40,885 [STAMMERS] 248 00:11:40,919 --> 00:11:42,053 You know. 249 00:11:42,087 --> 00:11:43,788 [CROWD AAHS] 250 00:11:43,822 --> 00:11:44,956 I failed. 251 00:11:44,990 --> 00:11:47,058 I failed on my one promise. 252 00:11:47,092 --> 00:11:49,561 [SIGHS]: Oh. _ 253 00:11:49,596 --> 00:11:51,797 And so, Marge Simpson is already a failure. 254 00:11:51,831 --> 00:11:54,566 The fastest fall from grace since Mamie Eisenhower 255 00:11:54,600 --> 00:11:57,336 destroyed a piano store on inauguration day. 256 00:11:57,360 --> 00:11:59,360 _ 257 00:12:00,907 --> 00:12:02,707 Hey, Mom, want to get some lunch? 258 00:12:02,741 --> 00:12:04,342 I'd love a lunch break, 259 00:12:04,376 --> 00:12:07,412 but I've got to get that tire fire out first. 260 00:12:07,447 --> 00:12:10,514 Already neglecting your family, Madam Mayor? 261 00:12:10,549 --> 00:12:13,051 Why you little! Don't embarrass your mother! 262 00:12:14,921 --> 00:12:16,922 [HOMER AND BART GRUNTING] 263 00:12:16,956 --> 00:12:18,756 [LAUGHS] 264 00:12:23,296 --> 00:12:26,631 [BOTH LAUGHING] 265 00:12:29,302 --> 00:12:30,903 Guys, guys, stop! 266 00:12:30,937 --> 00:12:32,070 I'm the mayor. 267 00:12:32,105 --> 00:12:34,172 Everything you do reflects on me. 268 00:12:34,206 --> 00:12:35,506 Of course, honey. 269 00:12:35,540 --> 00:12:37,341 It's just hard to restrain yourself 270 00:12:37,376 --> 00:12:39,010 when you're above the law. 271 00:12:39,044 --> 00:12:40,846 We're not above the law. 272 00:12:40,879 --> 00:12:43,414 Oh, yeah, yeah, I get it. 273 00:12:43,448 --> 00:12:45,417 Hmm? _ 274 00:12:45,451 --> 00:12:46,851 I want you to promise me. 275 00:12:46,885 --> 00:12:50,355 Can you both behave like Lisa, just for a little bit? 276 00:12:50,389 --> 00:12:53,759 BOTH [HIGH-PITCHED]: "I'm Lisa. I'm Lisa." 277 00:12:53,793 --> 00:12:55,793 "I like music." 278 00:12:55,827 --> 00:12:58,397 "My boyfriend is broccoli." 279 00:12:58,431 --> 00:12:59,563 [KISSING NOISES] 280 00:12:59,599 --> 00:13:00,731 Hey! 281 00:13:00,767 --> 00:13:03,335 We're here to buy your stand. 282 00:13:03,369 --> 00:13:05,671 Yeah, well, it's not for sale. 283 00:13:05,705 --> 00:13:08,407 [GROANS] All I want to do is help this city, 284 00:13:08,441 --> 00:13:10,908 and I can't because of this ding-dong. 285 00:13:10,943 --> 00:13:11,909 [CROWD GASPS] 286 00:13:11,945 --> 00:13:14,513 How dare you insult me like that? 287 00:13:14,547 --> 00:13:15,846 I was there! 288 00:13:15,881 --> 00:13:18,250 What? What, what, what, what, what? 289 00:13:18,283 --> 00:13:19,985 Clyde's a Vietnam vet, 290 00:13:20,019 --> 00:13:22,354 a survivor of the Battle of Dhing Dhong. 291 00:13:22,388 --> 00:13:23,422 Thank you. 292 00:13:23,456 --> 00:13:25,323 Than Kyu was his best friend. 293 00:13:25,357 --> 00:13:28,159 Stepped on a land mine in the battle of One Pun Too Many. 294 00:13:28,193 --> 00:13:30,361 This is not good, Marge. Not good. 295 00:13:30,395 --> 00:13:31,863 [SIGHS]: Oh. 296 00:13:31,898 --> 00:13:34,032 Marge's beehive of activity has become 297 00:13:34,067 --> 00:13:35,834 a hornet's nest of trouble. 298 00:13:35,868 --> 00:13:38,736 Also, our news broadcasts have been reduced to two sentences. 299 00:13:38,770 --> 00:13:39,904 Good night. 300 00:13:39,938 --> 00:13:41,239 There's only one way out. 301 00:13:41,274 --> 00:13:42,638 You're gonna have to do a live, 302 00:13:42,638 --> 00:13:45,106 completely unscripted heart-to-heart with the voters. 303 00:13:45,140 --> 00:13:47,442 - Here's your script. - I don't want a script. 304 00:13:47,476 --> 00:13:48,710 Are you nuts? 305 00:13:50,145 --> 00:13:51,145 Good evening. 306 00:13:51,179 --> 00:13:53,682 I'm here to talk to you, one-on-one, 307 00:13:53,716 --> 00:13:56,884 just an ordinary mom sitting in her kitchen. 308 00:13:58,488 --> 00:13:59,788 This is a disaster. 309 00:13:59,822 --> 00:14:01,889 I've seen counterclockwise knob turning before, 310 00:14:01,923 --> 00:14:03,258 but not like this. 311 00:14:04,927 --> 00:14:07,261 Marge, what time is dinner ready? 312 00:14:07,296 --> 00:14:09,230 I'm in the middle of a speech. 313 00:14:09,264 --> 00:14:10,731 So, 6:00? 314 00:14:10,767 --> 00:14:12,399 You'll get it when you get it. 315 00:14:12,434 --> 00:14:14,802 Wait a minute. Something's turning them around. 316 00:14:14,836 --> 00:14:18,306 Marge, can you cook a Hot Pocket in the dryer? 317 00:14:18,341 --> 00:14:20,307 [GROANS] Homer Simpson, 318 00:14:20,342 --> 00:14:23,611 the only time you shut your mouth is to keep food inside. 319 00:14:23,645 --> 00:14:25,514 [GASPS, STAMMERS] 320 00:14:25,548 --> 00:14:28,182 [LAUGHTER] 321 00:14:28,216 --> 00:14:29,283 That's it. 322 00:14:29,317 --> 00:14:30,851 She's turned a gaffe-making tubby 323 00:14:30,886 --> 00:14:32,287 into a laugh-yielding hubby. 324 00:14:32,321 --> 00:14:33,855 Does that work? 325 00:14:33,889 --> 00:14:35,856 FRINK [MUMBLES]: Let's see, the subter-hand is all right. 326 00:14:35,892 --> 00:14:38,025 The math checks out. 327 00:14:38,059 --> 00:14:40,162 I'll be the Kellyanne Conway of this thing. 328 00:14:40,196 --> 00:14:41,462 Kellyanne Conway? 329 00:14:41,496 --> 00:14:43,965 I like how she always looks like she just woke up. 330 00:14:44,000 --> 00:14:48,036 I think it's inspiring how now a woman can be Joseph Goebbels. 331 00:14:48,070 --> 00:14:50,538 [MURMURS OF AGREEMENT] 332 00:14:52,073 --> 00:14:53,707 Marge, do we have any bread? 333 00:14:53,743 --> 00:14:55,043 Check your chest. 334 00:14:55,076 --> 00:14:57,546 [LAUGHTER] 335 00:14:57,953 --> 00:14:59,313 Woo-hoo! 336 00:14:59,888 --> 00:15:01,022 Oh, my God. 337 00:15:01,056 --> 00:15:02,544 Those are the highest approval ratings 338 00:15:02,544 --> 00:15:05,547 I've ever seen for an incumbent: 53%! 339 00:15:11,640 --> 00:15:14,067 Marge, your numbers are simply fantastic. 340 00:15:14,067 --> 00:15:17,003 And all you had to do was throw your husband under the bus. 341 00:15:18,071 --> 00:15:19,371 Well, don't tell me you're sad 342 00:15:19,405 --> 00:15:21,039 about throwing your husband under the bus. 343 00:15:21,073 --> 00:15:23,542 I'm happy if he can fit under a bus. 344 00:15:23,576 --> 00:15:24,710 Zing! 345 00:15:24,745 --> 00:15:27,346 Yeah. [CHUCKLES] Zing. 346 00:15:29,081 --> 00:15:32,717 Mr. Simpson, we're naming a sandwich after you. 347 00:15:32,753 --> 00:15:35,221 [GASPS] My lifelong dream has come true. 348 00:15:35,254 --> 00:15:36,654 I've got this all planned. 349 00:15:36,690 --> 00:15:39,424 Start with a full Reuben with all the fixin's. 350 00:15:39,459 --> 00:15:41,226 Put a club sandwich on top. 351 00:15:41,260 --> 00:15:43,261 The bottom bun is, at first glance, 352 00:15:43,296 --> 00:15:45,331 a chicken-fried steak. 353 00:15:45,365 --> 00:15:47,198 But it's worth a closer look, because... 354 00:15:47,234 --> 00:15:49,769 Sir, sir, sir. We've already made it. 355 00:15:49,802 --> 00:15:53,272 The Open-Mouthed Turkey Goofball? 356 00:15:53,306 --> 00:15:55,774 That is so not me. 357 00:15:55,808 --> 00:15:57,809 But I'll take six. 358 00:15:57,844 --> 00:16:00,479 We're honored to have with us the mayor... 359 00:16:00,514 --> 00:16:02,214 [CROWD CHEERING] 360 00:16:02,249 --> 00:16:04,984 ...and First Doofus Homer Simpson. 361 00:16:05,018 --> 00:16:06,552 [LAUGHTER] 362 00:16:06,586 --> 00:16:11,123 Homer's made Marge happy more times than he can count: three! 363 00:16:11,158 --> 00:16:12,490 [MARGE CHUCKLES] 364 00:16:12,525 --> 00:16:15,326 And we're here for a very, very serious charity: 365 00:16:15,361 --> 00:16:16,828 Save the Whales. 366 00:16:16,863 --> 00:16:18,963 All right, that's it! 367 00:16:18,999 --> 00:16:21,232 No. That's really why we're here! 368 00:16:21,268 --> 00:16:23,235 [KRUSTY SOBS] 369 00:16:23,269 --> 00:16:24,470 I am not a whale! 370 00:16:24,504 --> 00:16:27,840 I am a man with blubber and several harpoon scars! 371 00:16:29,509 --> 00:16:30,475 [HOMER SCREAMS] 372 00:16:30,509 --> 00:16:32,510 [WHALE-LIKE GROANING] 373 00:16:37,551 --> 00:16:39,851 [CONCERNED GROAN] 374 00:16:39,885 --> 00:16:42,187 What a day for this town. 375 00:16:42,221 --> 00:16:45,157 We've made a deal with the librarians' union. 376 00:16:45,192 --> 00:16:46,192 Shh. 377 00:16:46,225 --> 00:16:47,359 Homer would've been here, 378 00:16:47,394 --> 00:16:49,327 but he backed out when he heard the library 379 00:16:49,361 --> 00:16:51,029 didn't have any pop-up books. 380 00:16:51,063 --> 00:16:53,566 [LAUGHTER] 381 00:16:55,101 --> 00:16:57,102 [CROWD CHEERING] 382 00:17:01,508 --> 00:17:03,475 Great news, Marge. You've tapped into something 383 00:17:03,509 --> 00:17:07,145 women and men can agree on: husbands are idiots. 384 00:17:07,180 --> 00:17:08,513 Yeah, I guess. 385 00:17:08,548 --> 00:17:10,148 While you're guessing, I'm running with this. 386 00:17:10,182 --> 00:17:11,851 Take a look at the balloon we've made 387 00:17:11,884 --> 00:17:13,184 for the Thanksgiving parade. 388 00:17:15,020 --> 00:17:16,555 I don't care what people say. 389 00:17:16,589 --> 00:17:19,858 My Homie makes one sexy blimp. 390 00:17:22,061 --> 00:17:24,096 I need to talk to somebody. 391 00:17:24,119 --> 00:17:26,119 _ 392 00:17:31,238 --> 00:17:32,403 Mayor Quimby? 393 00:17:32,439 --> 00:17:35,708 No, just ordinary Diamond Joe. 394 00:17:35,741 --> 00:17:37,209 Uh-oh, I know that look. 395 00:17:37,243 --> 00:17:40,378 That's a mayor on the ropes or a wife who wants a divorce. 396 00:17:40,413 --> 00:17:41,846 I'm familiar with both. 397 00:17:41,882 --> 00:17:43,348 Er, uh, indeed. 398 00:17:43,383 --> 00:17:47,051 Joe, is it possible to have a decent family life 399 00:17:47,086 --> 00:17:49,221 and be a good political leader? 400 00:17:49,256 --> 00:17:51,423 Marge, I don't want to talk about that anymore, 401 00:17:51,458 --> 00:17:54,425 but I'll tell you this: retirement agrees with me. 402 00:17:54,461 --> 00:17:55,927 The first night out of office, 403 00:17:55,961 --> 00:17:58,364 I noticed a gorgeous woman lying next to me, 404 00:17:58,397 --> 00:18:01,534 and I said, "Holy crap, I'm married to her." 405 00:18:01,567 --> 00:18:03,536 Go long, boys. [GRUNTS] 406 00:18:03,569 --> 00:18:06,571 BOTH [SEAL-LIKE BARKING]: Er, ah, er, ah, er, ah, er... 407 00:18:08,575 --> 00:18:11,777 Marge, there's no "mayor" in marriage. 408 00:18:11,810 --> 00:18:13,878 There almost is. It's really close. 409 00:18:13,913 --> 00:18:15,213 But I'm afraid not. 410 00:18:15,248 --> 00:18:16,382 [GRUNTS, CHUCKLES] 411 00:18:16,415 --> 00:18:17,682 Meet you in the boathouse later? 412 00:18:17,717 --> 00:18:18,683 [CHUCKLES] 413 00:18:18,718 --> 00:18:20,685 Oh, Marge, I want to thank you 414 00:18:20,720 --> 00:18:22,453 for giving me back my Joseph. 415 00:18:22,489 --> 00:18:23,556 Will you stay? 416 00:18:23,589 --> 00:18:25,857 I just made a giant pitcher of gimlets, 417 00:18:25,892 --> 00:18:28,126 but I can make a second one if you're staying. 418 00:18:28,161 --> 00:18:29,694 No, I have to get back. 419 00:18:29,729 --> 00:18:33,065 We're christening a new manhole cover on 4th Street. 420 00:18:33,098 --> 00:18:34,567 [GULPING] 421 00:18:34,601 --> 00:18:35,567 So sad. 422 00:18:35,602 --> 00:18:36,969 Can't you stay for a bit? 423 00:18:37,002 --> 00:18:39,971 Uh, we need some help serving coffee and cake. 424 00:18:40,006 --> 00:18:42,740 I swear this is the last time. 425 00:18:42,776 --> 00:18:44,777 There's more where that came from! 426 00:18:47,614 --> 00:18:50,982 Thank you. I couldn't be here without my husband. 427 00:18:51,017 --> 00:18:52,917 [LAUGHTER] 428 00:18:52,952 --> 00:18:54,819 He's a big supporter. 429 00:18:54,854 --> 00:18:56,255 So big... 430 00:18:56,288 --> 00:18:57,789 [LAUGHTER] 431 00:18:57,814 --> 00:18:59,814 _ 432 00:19:02,494 --> 00:19:04,296 [GROANS] 433 00:19:07,834 --> 00:19:10,635 So big, I wish all of you could 434 00:19:10,670 --> 00:19:12,637 know the love in his heart. 435 00:19:12,672 --> 00:19:13,939 [CROWD GASPS] 436 00:19:13,973 --> 00:19:15,807 Everyone, look inside yourself 437 00:19:15,842 --> 00:19:19,111 and find your Homer Simpson. 438 00:19:19,144 --> 00:19:21,012 BOTH: Mwah! 439 00:19:23,516 --> 00:19:25,651 [CROWD MURMURING] 440 00:19:28,020 --> 00:19:31,022 [GASPS] It's so beautiful. 441 00:19:33,559 --> 00:19:36,060 We make the magic happen, baby. 442 00:19:41,945 --> 00:19:44,426 _ 443 00:19:45,048 --> 00:19:46,679 ♪ 444 00:19:56,528 --> 00:19:58,295 Can we just skip that one? 445 00:19:58,325 --> 00:20:00,326 I would, but you have to walk through it 446 00:20:00,359 --> 00:20:01,826 to get to the cafeteria. 447 00:20:01,862 --> 00:20:03,528 Oh. Okay. 448 00:20:06,678 --> 00:20:13,490 - Sync and corrections by ByDem - - www.addic7ed.com - 31118

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