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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:04,253 --> 00:00:06,253 (THUNDER RUMBLING) 2 00:00:10,183 --> 00:00:11,617 I'm scared, Mom. 3 00:00:11,651 --> 00:00:13,051 What if they take me? 4 00:00:13,086 --> 00:00:14,987 Don't worry, Barterfinger. 5 00:00:15,022 --> 00:00:16,821 You're always the last. 6 00:00:16,856 --> 00:00:20,359 Even boxes of stale raisins go before you, Butterfinger... 7 00:00:20,393 --> 00:00:21,926 I mean, Barterfinger. 8 00:00:21,961 --> 00:00:23,461 (GASPS) 9 00:00:23,496 --> 00:00:25,230 No one ever wants the apple. 10 00:00:25,265 --> 00:00:28,356 They must be afraid there's a razor blade in me. 11 00:00:28,391 --> 00:00:30,692 Yeah. That's the reason. 12 00:00:30,727 --> 00:00:33,156 Maybe you'll be dipped in caramel. 13 00:00:33,192 --> 00:00:34,689 Oh, whoop-dee-doo. 14 00:00:34,723 --> 00:00:36,075 (ALL GASPING) 15 00:00:36,109 --> 00:00:37,743 What the... Where am I going? 16 00:00:37,777 --> 00:00:39,878 You're going to heaven, Dad. 17 00:00:39,914 --> 00:00:42,627 GRAMPA: Those pearly gates look a lot like teeth! 18 00:00:42,661 --> 00:00:44,216 Change is always hard. 19 00:00:44,250 --> 00:00:46,189 Well, I guess that... 20 00:00:46,240 --> 00:00:48,408 (GRAMPA SCREAMING) 21 00:00:48,465 --> 00:00:50,465 Cigarette breath! 22 00:00:54,338 --> 00:00:55,503 Oh, thank God. 23 00:00:55,539 --> 00:00:57,204 We made it through the night. 24 00:00:59,676 --> 00:01:02,476 And now you're on a high shelf, 25 00:01:02,512 --> 00:01:06,347 where they'll forget about you forever! 26 00:01:06,382 --> 00:01:09,516 (CRYING): Why won't the earth take me? 27 00:01:09,552 --> 00:01:11,846 I hear you, my friend. 28 00:01:12,621 --> 00:01:15,090 Mmm, candy. 29 00:01:15,125 --> 00:01:16,579 Homer, no! 30 00:01:16,614 --> 00:01:18,158 Don't be silly, honey. 31 00:01:18,194 --> 00:01:19,793 Chocolate doesn't feel anything. 32 00:01:19,829 --> 00:01:21,662 No! God, no! 33 00:01:21,698 --> 00:01:23,298 Dad...! 34 00:01:23,332 --> 00:01:25,632 I can't listen to this horror! 35 00:01:25,668 --> 00:01:26,968 Okay, I'm on it. 36 00:01:27,004 --> 00:01:28,168 (SCREAMS STOPS ABRUPTLY) 37 00:01:28,204 --> 00:01:29,537 Thank you. 38 00:01:30,573 --> 00:01:32,206 (CHEWING NOISILY) 39 00:01:33,090 --> 00:01:38,090 Sync and corrections by btsix www.addic7ed.com 40 00:01:43,959 --> 00:01:47,378 (THE EXORCIST THEME MUSIC PLAYING) 41 00:01:55,641 --> 00:01:57,707 (THUNDER CRASHES) 42 00:01:57,810 --> 00:01:59,810 ♪ ♪ 43 00:02:08,336 --> 00:02:11,585 It's here! Maggie's first Pazuzu! 44 00:02:11,632 --> 00:02:13,431 Your father ordered this because... 45 00:02:13,467 --> 00:02:15,334 Mm, why did you order this? 46 00:02:15,368 --> 00:02:17,169 I thought it was pizza. 47 00:02:17,204 --> 00:02:18,903 Yeah, I'll send it back tomorrow. 48 00:02:18,938 --> 00:02:21,205 Tonight we have a cocktail party. 49 00:02:21,241 --> 00:02:23,040 And we came early. 50 00:02:23,159 --> 00:02:26,360 And I left my face on your hand towel. 51 00:02:26,396 --> 00:02:27,896 (MARGE GRUMBLES) 52 00:02:28,899 --> 00:02:29,865 Hmm. 53 00:02:29,900 --> 00:02:31,399 (HUMMING A MELODY) 54 00:02:33,336 --> 00:02:35,270 (GROANS) 55 00:02:35,305 --> 00:02:36,670 Don't worry, Maggie. 56 00:02:36,706 --> 00:02:39,007 While Mommy and Daddy carouse downstairs, 57 00:02:39,042 --> 00:02:41,776 you'll be here in the dark with Pazuzu! 58 00:02:41,811 --> 00:02:44,378 (TO "WHEN IRISH EYES ARE SMILING): ♪ When Pazuzu's eyes ♪ 59 00:02:44,413 --> 00:02:45,847 ♪ Are glaring ♪ 60 00:02:45,883 --> 00:02:49,617 ♪ It's time to go to bed ♪ 61 00:02:49,652 --> 00:02:52,820 ♪ You'll see demon shadows fighting ♪ 62 00:02:52,855 --> 00:02:56,625 ♪ But it's just inside your head ♪ 63 00:02:56,659 --> 00:03:00,594 ♪ When Pazuzu's eyes are staring ♪ 64 00:03:00,631 --> 00:03:03,899 ♪ The moonlight will turn red ♪ 65 00:03:03,933 --> 00:03:09,304 ♪ 'Cause Pazuzu's in your nightmares ♪ 66 00:03:09,338 --> 00:03:12,274 ♪ Until we all ♪ 67 00:03:12,308 --> 00:03:15,175 ♪ Are dead. ♪ 68 00:03:15,211 --> 00:03:16,578 Sweet dreams, Maggie. 69 00:03:16,612 --> 00:03:18,680 Don't let the Beelzebubs bite. 70 00:03:18,715 --> 00:03:20,215 (DOOR CREAKS) 71 00:03:20,250 --> 00:03:22,484 ♪ ♪ 72 00:03:22,519 --> 00:03:25,186 - (PIANO PLAYING) - (LIVELY CHATTER) 73 00:03:25,222 --> 00:03:27,122 Nobody's eating my chowder. 74 00:03:27,157 --> 00:03:29,524 Maybe I can take it back home with me. 75 00:03:34,063 --> 00:03:38,165 Maggie, sweetie, you should be in bed. 76 00:03:38,200 --> 00:03:40,801 (DEMONIC VOICE): No one leaves alive. 77 00:03:40,836 --> 00:03:43,103 Ooh, her first words! 78 00:03:43,139 --> 00:03:44,739 Did someone get that on their phone? 79 00:03:44,775 --> 00:03:46,908 LENNY: Aw, she's got red eye. 80 00:03:46,944 --> 00:03:48,877 She's a demon from hell! 81 00:03:48,912 --> 00:03:50,778 Also, generic cola? 82 00:03:50,813 --> 00:03:52,079 Really? (CHUCKLES) 83 00:03:52,115 --> 00:03:53,781 Cocktail fail. 84 00:03:53,817 --> 00:03:55,050 (GROANS) 85 00:03:55,085 --> 00:03:56,216 Thank you. 86 00:03:56,252 --> 00:03:57,384 (ALL SCREAMING) 87 00:04:02,592 --> 00:04:03,792 (CELL DOOR SLAMS) 88 00:04:03,826 --> 00:04:06,227 Well, at least we still got the liquor. 89 00:04:07,931 --> 00:04:09,163 (WHINES, GRUNTS) 90 00:04:09,900 --> 00:04:11,800 (GURGLES) 91 00:04:11,835 --> 00:04:13,401 Ah, my chowder! 92 00:04:13,437 --> 00:04:15,469 Someone's starting the terrible twos. 93 00:04:15,504 --> 00:04:16,937 (CHUCKLES) 94 00:04:16,973 --> 00:04:19,574 (DEMONIC VOICE): Someone's having an affair with his nurse. 95 00:04:20,810 --> 00:04:24,045 - Say "ah." - A... dulterer. 96 00:04:24,081 --> 00:04:26,247 179? I... 97 00:04:26,283 --> 00:04:27,247 (GRUNTS) 98 00:04:27,283 --> 00:04:29,584 (CHOKING LAUGH) 99 00:04:29,619 --> 00:04:32,987 I'm afraid that little devil needs an exorcism. 100 00:04:33,023 --> 00:04:36,257 I'm afraid they didn't teach me those at Pepperdine. 101 00:04:36,293 --> 00:04:37,591 ♪ ♪ 102 00:04:37,627 --> 00:04:40,261 Bible ribbons, that'll hold her. 103 00:04:40,297 --> 00:04:42,497 (GRUNTING) 104 00:04:42,531 --> 00:04:43,965 - (GROANS) - (TOY SIREN WAILING) 105 00:04:44,000 --> 00:04:46,600 Oh, good, the police are here. 106 00:04:46,636 --> 00:04:48,302 (CHOKES) 107 00:04:48,338 --> 00:04:49,838 (OWL HOOTS) 108 00:04:50,906 --> 00:04:53,507 When is that exorcist gonna get here? 109 00:04:53,543 --> 00:04:54,975 Marge, we'll be fine. 110 00:04:55,012 --> 00:04:57,077 Maggie just learned what a circle is. 111 00:04:58,882 --> 00:05:01,583 HOMER: Okay, whoever she stops at has to change her diaper, 112 00:05:01,617 --> 00:05:03,918 which appears to contain flaming lava. 113 00:05:03,954 --> 00:05:06,553 MARGE: Oh, you just never want to change a diaper. 114 00:05:06,589 --> 00:05:08,088 (HOMER WHIMPERS) 115 00:05:08,125 --> 00:05:09,524 I'll handle this. 116 00:05:11,360 --> 00:05:14,495 - (GASPS) - (SHOUTING GIBBERISH) 117 00:05:14,531 --> 00:05:16,930 (MUFFLED GIBBERISH) 118 00:05:16,966 --> 00:05:18,966 (LOSING BREATH) 119 00:05:22,204 --> 00:05:23,805 Oops. Sorry about that. 120 00:05:23,839 --> 00:05:25,540 First thing, we'll see just how powerful 121 00:05:25,574 --> 00:05:27,875 our demon here truly is. 122 00:05:27,911 --> 00:05:29,744 The chicken goes... 123 00:05:29,779 --> 00:05:32,413 (DEMONIC ROARING) 124 00:05:33,682 --> 00:05:35,283 Well, there's only one answer here, 125 00:05:35,317 --> 00:05:37,819 - cut her loose! - Are you sure? 126 00:05:37,853 --> 00:05:40,021 If you can't trust a Catholic priest with a child, 127 00:05:40,057 --> 00:05:41,288 who can you trust? 128 00:05:41,324 --> 00:05:42,257 (MARGE GROANS) 129 00:05:44,894 --> 00:05:46,894 ♪ ♪ 130 00:05:50,233 --> 00:05:53,968 By the power of Christ, I say devil be out! 131 00:05:54,004 --> 00:05:55,637 That's all you've got? 132 00:05:55,672 --> 00:05:57,305 Well, I say it three times. 133 00:05:57,340 --> 00:05:58,540 This guy's good. 134 00:05:58,574 --> 00:06:00,141 Devil be out! 135 00:06:00,177 --> 00:06:05,512 I am Pazuzu, demon of the southwest wind. 136 00:06:05,548 --> 00:06:08,882 Wait, wait, so you're not even as powerful as the south wind 137 00:06:08,918 --> 00:06:10,350 or the west wind? 138 00:06:10,387 --> 00:06:11,920 How lame is that? 139 00:06:11,954 --> 00:06:13,420 I used to be very important. 140 00:06:13,456 --> 00:06:14,689 Google it. 141 00:06:14,723 --> 00:06:16,524 - Devil be out! - (THUNDER CRASHES) 142 00:06:16,560 --> 00:06:19,026 Google it! 143 00:06:21,398 --> 00:06:23,398 ♪ ♪ 144 00:06:25,235 --> 00:06:27,101 Your baby is saved. 145 00:06:27,137 --> 00:06:28,937 Fantastic. 146 00:06:28,971 --> 00:06:31,372 She's not going to be a religious weirdo, is she? 147 00:06:31,408 --> 00:06:33,240 - No. - Fantastic. 148 00:06:33,276 --> 00:06:34,509 Now hush. 149 00:06:34,543 --> 00:06:36,677 Pazuzu is still among us. 150 00:06:36,713 --> 00:06:38,012 But where? 151 00:06:38,048 --> 00:06:41,348 Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah! 152 00:06:41,384 --> 00:06:42,649 (GASPS) Bart? 153 00:06:42,685 --> 00:06:44,451 (DEMONIC VOICE): Let me out, let me out! 154 00:06:44,487 --> 00:06:47,187 This boy has the darkest soul I've ever seen. 155 00:06:47,223 --> 00:06:50,091 It's worse than working for David Schwimmer! 156 00:06:50,127 --> 00:06:53,360 Yo, Pazuzu, grow me some horns. 157 00:06:53,396 --> 00:06:54,562 (HOMER CHUCKLES) 158 00:06:54,598 --> 00:06:57,499 Those aren't horns, those are nubs. (LAUGHS) 159 00:06:58,401 --> 00:07:00,067 No, no, no! 160 00:07:00,103 --> 00:07:02,769 (NASALLY): Well, at least it'll get me out of jury duty. 161 00:07:06,177 --> 00:07:08,377 ♪ 162 00:07:08,427 --> 00:07:11,930 ♪ Lisa, Lisa wants a better life ♪ 163 00:07:11,964 --> 00:07:15,699 ♪ Lisa, Lisa, go under the knife ♪ 164 00:07:15,735 --> 00:07:19,937 ♪ Homer, Homer got a button wife. ♪ 165 00:07:20,629 --> 00:07:24,776 So, anyone want to pick up litter at the park today? 166 00:07:24,810 --> 00:07:26,110 How about you, Maggie? 167 00:07:26,146 --> 00:07:28,279 She's still got a touch of Pazuzu. 168 00:07:28,314 --> 00:07:29,848 At least she never threw up. 169 00:07:29,882 --> 00:07:31,882 (DEMONIC RETCHING) 170 00:07:38,225 --> 00:07:39,691 That's just great. 171 00:07:39,725 --> 00:07:41,826 Everywhere but the sink. 172 00:07:42,629 --> 00:07:45,663 (GROANS) Sometimes I think I was born in the wrong family. 173 00:07:45,699 --> 00:07:47,598 (CAT MEOWING) 174 00:07:47,634 --> 00:07:49,766 Oh? Hey, Mr. Cat. 175 00:07:49,802 --> 00:07:51,269 What are you playing with? 176 00:07:51,305 --> 00:07:53,038 A secret door? 177 00:07:53,072 --> 00:07:56,040 We don't have smoke alarms, but we have this? 178 00:07:56,076 --> 00:07:58,677 HOMER (IN DISTANCE): Smoke is its own alarm. 179 00:07:59,204 --> 00:08:01,305 No, no, Snowball, come back! 180 00:08:01,307 --> 00:08:03,307 It's too dangerous! 181 00:08:06,218 --> 00:08:10,221 Sometimes tiny doors lead to big opportunities. 182 00:08:10,257 --> 00:08:13,290 - (GASPS) You could talk? - Indeed. 183 00:08:13,326 --> 00:08:16,060 For centuries, the cat has been the symbol of intelligence, 184 00:08:16,096 --> 00:08:17,829 the other world savoir faire... 185 00:08:17,863 --> 00:08:19,396 Ooh, shiny! 186 00:08:19,432 --> 00:08:21,399 Oh, there it is. Where'd it go? 187 00:08:21,435 --> 00:08:23,168 There it is. Where'd it go? 188 00:08:23,202 --> 00:08:24,903 There it is. Where'd it go? 189 00:08:24,937 --> 00:08:26,237 (CLEARS THROAT) Enough. 190 00:08:26,273 --> 00:08:28,406 Let's go meet your other family. 191 00:08:28,442 --> 00:08:30,742 (GASPS) Other family? 192 00:08:30,776 --> 00:08:34,678 Already the talking cat isn't the most interesting thing. 193 00:08:34,715 --> 00:08:36,715 - (DOOR CREAKS) - (LISA GASPS) 194 00:08:40,386 --> 00:08:44,621 Whoa! For a Halloween show middle segment, this is amazing. 195 00:08:44,658 --> 00:08:46,658 - (HOMER HUMMING A MELODY) - (BART CHEWING NOISILY) 196 00:08:48,628 --> 00:08:52,397 Every girl's dream, a perfect family. 197 00:08:53,432 --> 00:08:55,600 (SCREAMS) 198 00:08:55,634 --> 00:08:57,701 Good morning, sleepyhead. 199 00:08:57,738 --> 00:09:00,171 For breakfast, tofu or kale? 200 00:09:00,206 --> 00:09:02,005 Oh, that's nice. 201 00:09:02,042 --> 00:09:03,875 But what's with the button eyes? 202 00:09:03,909 --> 00:09:06,378 We don't all have button eyes, silly. 203 00:09:06,413 --> 00:09:08,078 Some have button mouths. 204 00:09:08,115 --> 00:09:09,880 (MUFFLED): What's up?! 205 00:09:09,916 --> 00:09:13,217 Lisa, would you like to jam with us? 206 00:09:13,253 --> 00:09:14,719 You like jazz? 207 00:09:20,092 --> 00:09:22,494 (LIVELY JAZZ MUSIC PLAYING) 208 00:09:27,900 --> 00:09:30,884 You're all good, but not better than me. 209 00:09:30,919 --> 00:09:32,903 I wish I could stay forever. 210 00:09:32,938 --> 00:09:34,773 Oh, but you can. 211 00:09:34,807 --> 00:09:37,278 All right. Let me guess. 212 00:09:37,317 --> 00:09:40,384 Do you have to sew buttons over my eyes? 213 00:09:40,421 --> 00:09:42,053 Don't worry, sugar plum, 214 00:09:42,088 --> 00:09:43,889 we'll give you a button to bite on 215 00:09:43,923 --> 00:09:45,490 while we sew 'em on. 216 00:09:45,525 --> 00:09:47,826 - (SCREAMS) - Hold steady. 217 00:09:48,495 --> 00:09:51,163 (PANTING) 218 00:09:51,197 --> 00:09:53,164 Oh, sweetie, you're just in time. 219 00:09:53,200 --> 00:09:54,966 I killed a snake with your saxophone and... 220 00:09:55,001 --> 00:09:56,301 Can you blow its head out? 221 00:09:56,336 --> 00:09:58,803 Here, let me just wipe the blood off the mouthpiece. 222 00:09:58,838 --> 00:10:00,605 Buttons, please. 223 00:10:03,744 --> 00:10:06,177 Hmm, something's missing. 224 00:10:06,212 --> 00:10:09,548 Didn't we have a kid between Bart and the baby? 225 00:10:09,582 --> 00:10:12,518 Little smarty pants, plays the flute, I think. 226 00:10:12,552 --> 00:10:14,852 Lisa. She's been gone for days. 227 00:10:14,889 --> 00:10:16,822 And the police have been no help. 228 00:10:16,856 --> 00:10:19,791 That's not true. I helped you reassemble that high chair. 229 00:10:21,128 --> 00:10:22,860 Damn it! 230 00:10:22,897 --> 00:10:24,897 (WIGGUM GRUNTING) 231 00:10:27,134 --> 00:10:29,868 Well, we got two kids now, so no favoritism. 232 00:10:29,903 --> 00:10:33,025 Maggie will get Lisa's room, Maggie will get Lisa's clothes, 233 00:10:33,072 --> 00:10:34,572 Bart will get Lisa's homework. 234 00:10:35,475 --> 00:10:37,209 Cowabunga! 235 00:10:37,244 --> 00:10:38,376 (MARGE HUMMING) 236 00:10:38,412 --> 00:10:40,546 (GASPS) Bart! How'd you find me? 237 00:10:40,581 --> 00:10:42,267 I had an informant. 238 00:10:42,302 --> 00:10:44,149 I know, he can talk. 239 00:10:44,183 --> 00:10:46,250 He can? I just followed him in. 240 00:10:46,287 --> 00:10:49,321 Oh, God. Now I'll have to talk to him. 241 00:10:49,355 --> 00:10:52,557 Uh, I don't think he's coming back. 242 00:10:52,592 --> 00:10:54,393 How can you be so calm? 243 00:10:54,427 --> 00:10:56,427 I bore both those children. 244 00:10:56,462 --> 00:10:59,620 Hey, your stories aren't great, but I wouldn't call them boring. 245 00:10:59,654 --> 00:11:00,687 (GROANS): Oh. 246 00:11:00,721 --> 00:11:02,600 I'm going in there now. 247 00:11:05,306 --> 00:11:07,990 You really did it this time, Homer. 248 00:11:08,025 --> 00:11:09,859 You lost your family. 249 00:11:09,894 --> 00:11:12,162 Wait, you can speak on this side? 250 00:11:12,197 --> 00:11:13,863 Yes, I just don't like to. 251 00:11:13,899 --> 00:11:15,565 Makes the dog feel inferior. 252 00:11:15,600 --> 00:11:16,832 (WHINING BARK) 253 00:11:16,868 --> 00:11:17,833 All right. 254 00:11:17,869 --> 00:11:19,536 (GRUNTING) 255 00:11:19,571 --> 00:11:21,171 Oh! So tight. 256 00:11:21,206 --> 00:11:24,006 Why did I eat that second lunch at lunch? 257 00:11:24,042 --> 00:11:25,875 Someone kick me in the ass! 258 00:11:25,911 --> 00:11:27,476 (GRUNTS) Thank you! 259 00:11:29,880 --> 00:11:32,548 What is it about this world that's so great? 260 00:11:32,584 --> 00:11:35,384 The Homer in this world doesn't pass gas. 261 00:11:35,419 --> 00:11:37,953 That was a three-button job. 262 00:11:37,989 --> 00:11:40,190 Would you like to have two eyes? 263 00:11:40,225 --> 00:11:42,859 We can talk to each other while you watch TV. 264 00:11:42,894 --> 00:11:46,129 Just what Homer needs, an excuse to get lazier. 265 00:11:46,163 --> 00:11:47,596 Why, you little... 266 00:11:47,631 --> 00:11:51,801 I'll lazy you, you otherworldly... 267 00:11:51,836 --> 00:11:53,937 - What the... - That was my Bart! 268 00:11:53,971 --> 00:11:57,206 Boy, sure is hard to see with buttons on your eyes. 269 00:11:57,241 --> 00:11:59,209 D'oh! 270 00:11:59,244 --> 00:12:01,244 (GASPS) You killed my husband! 271 00:12:03,815 --> 00:12:06,716 HOMER: Spider wife, dead son, two girls with button eyes? 272 00:12:06,751 --> 00:12:09,753 I think this marriage has finally gotten out of its rut. 273 00:12:10,489 --> 00:12:12,455 (VACUUM WHIRRING) 274 00:12:12,490 --> 00:12:15,424 Yep, I got everything just the way I want it, 275 00:12:15,460 --> 00:12:18,561 including an extra me to go to parent-teacher conferences. 276 00:12:18,596 --> 00:12:21,764 Oh! Bart drew this picture of his family. 277 00:12:21,799 --> 00:12:23,966 Now we're getting visits from a social worker 278 00:12:24,001 --> 00:12:25,501 and an exterminator. 279 00:12:25,537 --> 00:12:27,003 I'll be ready. 280 00:12:27,038 --> 00:12:28,437 - (GUNSHOT) - (CHAIN SAW BUZZES) 281 00:12:28,472 --> 00:12:31,073 And I've learned, no matter how bad things are, 282 00:12:31,109 --> 00:12:34,009 they can get much, much worse. 283 00:12:34,044 --> 00:12:36,029 (MUFFLED): Huh, you're telling me. 284 00:12:36,620 --> 00:12:38,836 Haw... haw. 285 00:12:39,341 --> 00:12:41,725 (INSTRUMENTS WARMING UP) 286 00:12:41,759 --> 00:12:43,192 - (CLEARS THROAT) - (INSTRUMENTS STOP) 287 00:12:43,229 --> 00:12:45,629 No one will be seated during the third act 288 00:12:45,663 --> 00:12:47,331 of this Halloween show. 289 00:12:47,365 --> 00:12:50,200 What you're about to see is so disgusting 290 00:12:50,235 --> 00:12:53,070 you'll watch Game of Thrones to calm down. 291 00:12:53,105 --> 00:12:55,004 You have been warned. 292 00:12:55,039 --> 00:12:57,039 ♪ ♪ 293 00:13:07,785 --> 00:13:10,821 Man, am I jealous of you guys. 294 00:13:10,855 --> 00:13:13,856 Two weeks in Lima, Ohio, with Patty and Selma 295 00:13:13,893 --> 00:13:15,926 while I'm stuck here working. 296 00:13:15,961 --> 00:13:18,828 It's gonna be lonely. So lonely. 297 00:13:18,864 --> 00:13:20,931 Well, if you really want us to stay... 298 00:13:20,966 --> 00:13:23,066 We've already kissed good-bye and the car heard it! 299 00:13:24,470 --> 00:13:27,070 (TIRES SCREECHING) 300 00:13:27,105 --> 00:13:29,706 They're gone. Not a second to waste. 301 00:13:29,741 --> 00:13:31,741 (LAUGHING) 302 00:13:34,812 --> 00:13:36,879 (TO "ON THE ROAD AGAIN"): ♪ Left alone again ♪ 303 00:13:36,915 --> 00:13:39,883 ♪ Yes, I'm eating provolone again ♪ 304 00:13:39,918 --> 00:13:43,854 ♪ Food just tastes better in the bathroom now and then ♪ 305 00:13:43,889 --> 00:13:47,259 ♪ I just love being left alone again ♪ 306 00:13:48,393 --> 00:13:50,726 ♪ Left alone for days ♪ 307 00:13:50,763 --> 00:13:54,364 ♪ I ate two dozen bags of Frito-Lays ♪ 308 00:13:54,399 --> 00:13:57,768 ♪ I'm gonna brush my teeth with mayonnaise ♪ 309 00:13:57,802 --> 00:14:01,337 ♪ Now my sweat tastes just like doughnut glaze. ♪ 310 00:14:02,640 --> 00:14:04,006 (SHRIEKS) 311 00:14:05,076 --> 00:14:07,844 (SHRIEKING) 312 00:14:09,948 --> 00:14:12,115 Not a single morsel in the house! 313 00:14:12,150 --> 00:14:14,116 (GASPS) 314 00:14:14,153 --> 00:14:15,418 A forgotten hot dog. 315 00:14:16,621 --> 00:14:18,254 Oh, you're shivering. 316 00:14:18,289 --> 00:14:19,990 I'll take care of that. 317 00:14:21,961 --> 00:14:24,327 (TO "HAPPY BIRTHDAY"): ♪ Happy birthday to meat ♪ 318 00:14:24,363 --> 00:14:26,429 ♪ I can't wait to eat. ♪ 319 00:14:26,465 --> 00:14:29,332 - Now to slit it down the middle. - (DOG BARKS) 320 00:14:29,368 --> 00:14:31,134 I'm not splitting it with you. 321 00:14:31,169 --> 00:14:33,202 I'm just teaching you how it's done. 322 00:14:33,239 --> 00:14:34,104 (BARKS) 323 00:14:34,139 --> 00:14:35,972 (GROANS) 324 00:14:36,008 --> 00:14:37,640 Still frozen. 325 00:14:39,177 --> 00:14:41,677 (SCREAMS) My finger! 326 00:14:41,713 --> 00:14:43,212 My hot dog! 327 00:14:46,118 --> 00:14:47,985 (SIZZLING) 328 00:14:48,019 --> 00:14:49,653 My finger! My poor... 329 00:14:49,687 --> 00:14:50,988 (MOANING) 330 00:14:51,023 --> 00:14:52,788 delicious finger. 331 00:14:52,825 --> 00:14:54,658 (SNIFFS) Wait a minute. 332 00:14:54,692 --> 00:14:56,860 I can't eat my own finger. It's unholy. 333 00:14:56,894 --> 00:14:58,394 Also, it's not quite done. 334 00:14:58,429 --> 00:15:01,530 But sometimes a man has to do the unthinkable, 335 00:15:01,567 --> 00:15:04,934 like eat something medium-rare. 336 00:15:04,970 --> 00:15:05,936 Oh! 337 00:15:05,971 --> 00:15:07,537 (FIREWORKS WHISTLING, POPPING) 338 00:15:07,572 --> 00:15:09,673 - (TO "HALLELUJAH CHORUS") - ♪ Hey, you ate you ♪ 339 00:15:09,707 --> 00:15:11,475 ♪ You tasted great, you ♪ 340 00:15:11,509 --> 00:15:13,677 ♪ Hey, you ate you, hey, you ate you ♪ 341 00:15:13,711 --> 00:15:16,113 ♪ You cooked and ate you. ♪ 342 00:15:16,148 --> 00:15:18,211 - (PHONE CHIMES) - Hmm? 343 00:15:18,235 --> 00:15:19,469 Hmm. 344 00:15:19,503 --> 00:15:21,503 (HUMS SOFTLY) 345 00:15:23,721 --> 00:15:25,889 Mmm-mmm-mmm-mmm. 346 00:15:25,923 --> 00:15:27,923 It makes complete sense. 347 00:15:27,960 --> 00:15:31,727 I eat more and exercise less than the most succulent pig. 348 00:15:31,764 --> 00:15:33,297 Of course I'm delicious! 349 00:15:33,331 --> 00:15:37,033 But I must never eat me again. Never! 350 00:15:37,068 --> 00:15:40,403 On the other hand is my other finger. 351 00:15:40,438 --> 00:15:42,972 And one thing I love is consistency. 352 00:15:43,008 --> 00:15:45,008 (HUMMING "HALLELUJAH CHORUS") 353 00:15:46,942 --> 00:15:48,375 Hey, there, Homer Aloner. 354 00:15:48,376 --> 00:15:51,511 In the absence of the missus, you want something delicious? 355 00:15:51,547 --> 00:15:53,880 (SIGHS) 356 00:15:53,915 --> 00:15:56,584 Don't worry, I'll be back. 357 00:16:01,423 --> 00:16:03,157 (WHEELS SQUEAKING) 358 00:16:03,192 --> 00:16:05,392 Oh. Ooh, yuck. 359 00:16:05,427 --> 00:16:07,094 Oh, disgusting. 360 00:16:07,129 --> 00:16:09,730 Homer Simpson, you don't like steak anymore? 361 00:16:09,764 --> 00:16:13,033 Actually, I've become a bit of a me-gan. 362 00:16:13,068 --> 00:16:15,836 Do you have any spaghetti with my-balls? Uh, meatballs? 363 00:16:15,871 --> 00:16:17,770 "Me-gan? My-balls?" 364 00:16:17,807 --> 00:16:20,274 Are you eating forbidden fruit? 365 00:16:20,308 --> 00:16:22,375 Fruit? Ugh. 366 00:16:25,581 --> 00:16:27,248 Sorry, Flanders, 367 00:16:27,283 --> 00:16:30,750 but I've got more delicious meat in my little finger 368 00:16:30,786 --> 00:16:33,086 than you have on this whole picnic table. 369 00:16:33,121 --> 00:16:34,421 Speaking of which... 370 00:16:34,456 --> 00:16:37,857 ("BUSTIN' LOOSE" BY REBIRTH BRASS BAND PLAYING) 371 00:16:39,729 --> 00:16:40,793 ♪ Whoo ♪ 372 00:16:40,830 --> 00:16:42,462 ♪ ♪ 373 00:16:57,879 --> 00:16:59,212 ♪ Whoo. ♪ 374 00:16:59,248 --> 00:17:00,813 ♪ ♪ 375 00:17:04,287 --> 00:17:07,221 I have really gone to a lot of trouble 376 00:17:07,256 --> 00:17:08,989 not to leave the house. 377 00:17:09,025 --> 00:17:10,758 MARGE (IN DISTANCE): Homie, we're home! 378 00:17:10,792 --> 00:17:11,759 (SHRIEKS) 379 00:17:11,794 --> 00:17:14,228 What's with the gloves? 380 00:17:14,262 --> 00:17:17,498 Uh, I was watching Breakfast at Tiffany's, 381 00:17:17,532 --> 00:17:19,767 and I thought I could be more elegant. 382 00:17:19,801 --> 00:17:22,102 Elegant? With your waistline? 383 00:17:22,137 --> 00:17:23,971 I don't think so. 384 00:17:24,006 --> 00:17:27,907 Actually, Homer, you look like you've lost 20 pounds. 385 00:17:27,943 --> 00:17:29,943 Well, I have been cutting back. 386 00:17:29,979 --> 00:17:31,945 That means something different to me than you. 387 00:17:31,980 --> 00:17:33,279 What's wrong with your leg? 388 00:17:33,316 --> 00:17:35,583 Nothing. It was perfect. 389 00:17:35,617 --> 00:17:37,116 (MARGE GRUMBLES) 390 00:17:38,453 --> 00:17:40,287 (WHIRRING IN DISTANCE) 391 00:17:40,323 --> 00:17:43,490 (GROANING) 392 00:17:43,526 --> 00:17:47,361 Homie, you shouldn't be snacking in the middle of the night. 393 00:17:47,395 --> 00:17:48,494 It can't be good for your... 394 00:17:48,530 --> 00:17:50,396 (MARGE SCREAMS) 395 00:17:53,903 --> 00:17:56,369 This is, without question, 396 00:17:56,404 --> 00:17:59,640 the worst moment of our entire marriage. 397 00:17:59,674 --> 00:18:01,040 - What about... - This is worse. 398 00:18:01,076 --> 00:18:02,643 Opa! 399 00:18:02,678 --> 00:18:05,211 HOMER: Marge, I admit it, this is a rough patch. 400 00:18:05,247 --> 00:18:06,779 But I know when to stop. 401 00:18:06,816 --> 00:18:09,316 And when would that be? When you're just a mouth? 402 00:18:09,352 --> 00:18:11,684 You see how she is, Doc? Always negative. 403 00:18:11,721 --> 00:18:13,153 She makes me feel like nothing. 404 00:18:13,189 --> 00:18:15,489 You are almost nothing! 405 00:18:15,523 --> 00:18:17,057 Almost nothing. 406 00:18:17,093 --> 00:18:19,826 Homer, have you considered your wife's feelings? 407 00:18:19,862 --> 00:18:21,996 Perhaps she takes this new diet of yours 408 00:18:22,030 --> 00:18:23,696 as a comment on her cooking. 409 00:18:23,732 --> 00:18:24,999 Marge? 410 00:18:25,034 --> 00:18:27,233 I won't deny that's a part of it. 411 00:18:27,269 --> 00:18:28,568 See? Progress. 412 00:18:28,604 --> 00:18:29,737 Now, excuse me. 413 00:18:29,771 --> 00:18:32,806 I need to go get famous talking about you. 414 00:18:32,842 --> 00:18:35,375 Homie, I'm afraid this is it. 415 00:18:35,411 --> 00:18:39,179 Your self-destructive behavior has gone too far. 416 00:18:39,214 --> 00:18:40,980 (MUFFLED): But, Marge... 417 00:18:41,017 --> 00:18:43,250 Good-bye, my love. 418 00:18:43,285 --> 00:18:45,551 (SOBBING) 419 00:18:45,587 --> 00:18:48,221 Maybe, deep down, that's why I ate myself... 420 00:18:48,257 --> 00:18:50,523 Because I hate myself. 421 00:18:50,558 --> 00:18:53,394 MAN: Sounds like someone had a breakthrough. 422 00:18:53,429 --> 00:18:55,863 Hi. I'm famous cooker-upper Mario Batali. 423 00:18:55,897 --> 00:18:58,398 - You mean "chef"? - I don't care for that term. 424 00:18:58,433 --> 00:19:01,402 Well, I know I don't belong in therapy, but why are you? 425 00:19:01,436 --> 00:19:03,503 I got depressed because I ran out 426 00:19:03,538 --> 00:19:05,172 of exciting new ingredients. 427 00:19:05,207 --> 00:19:07,840 Homer, we need to talk. 428 00:19:07,876 --> 00:19:09,710 Could we wok and talk? 429 00:19:09,744 --> 00:19:11,144 Well, sure. 430 00:19:12,213 --> 00:19:13,980 (SIGHS) 431 00:19:20,122 --> 00:19:23,257 HOMER: My dearest family, I love you so much. 432 00:19:23,291 --> 00:19:26,426 And I think I've found a way to earn your forgiveness. 433 00:19:26,461 --> 00:19:28,061 Please come home. 434 00:19:28,096 --> 00:19:30,064 Come home to flavor. 435 00:19:38,307 --> 00:19:40,907 He wanted me to pass on these final words. 436 00:19:40,942 --> 00:19:42,375 "I've failed as a man, 437 00:19:42,411 --> 00:19:44,444 but I have succeeded as an ingredient." 438 00:19:44,480 --> 00:19:45,578 I call the brain! 439 00:19:47,615 --> 00:19:48,949 (SIGHS): Ah. 440 00:19:48,983 --> 00:19:50,917 He's gone. 441 00:19:50,952 --> 00:19:55,422 Well, I guess I can be proud that he succeeded at something. 442 00:19:55,458 --> 00:19:57,458 Oh, it's a lot more than something. 443 00:19:57,492 --> 00:20:00,094 Homer's the biggest thing in food since free refills. 444 00:20:00,128 --> 00:20:01,494 (SLURPING) 445 00:20:01,529 --> 00:20:03,463 (TO "HALLELUJAH CHORUS"): ♪ Hey, you ate you ♪ 446 00:20:03,499 --> 00:20:05,632 ♪ You tasted great, you ♪ 447 00:20:05,667 --> 00:20:07,667 ♪ Hey, you ate you, hey, you ate you ♪ 448 00:20:07,702 --> 00:20:09,670 ♪ You cooked and ate you. ♪ 449 00:20:09,704 --> 00:20:11,838 How did they get so much meat out of Homer? 450 00:20:11,874 --> 00:20:15,075 Well, they mixed in some Barney, Comic Book Guy and horse. 451 00:20:15,111 --> 00:20:16,509 Horse?! 452 00:20:18,207 --> 00:20:20,536 Do you know what it's like to have everyone 453 00:20:20,564 --> 00:20:21,896 eat of your body? 454 00:20:21,932 --> 00:20:23,856 Yeah, like, every Sunday, pal. 455 00:20:23,893 --> 00:20:24,932 (MUNCHING) 456 00:20:24,969 --> 00:20:27,601 Uh, you know, you don't get more of those. 457 00:20:27,749 --> 00:20:32,749 Sync and corrections by btsix www.addic7ed.com 31323

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