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1
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Previously on The Magicians...
2
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My hands won't cast.
3
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- We can help you, Penny.
- What's the catch?
4
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"Bound in service to the library
5
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up to and after my death"?
6
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- That isn't just any door.
- Then what is it?
7
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The Poison Room.
8
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There is knowledge behind that door
9
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that could destroy
more than just people.
10
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It could destroy worlds.
11
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"The Ars Deicidium"?
12
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"The art of killing gods."
13
00:00:22,457 --> 00:00:24,858
King Idri is our honored guest.
14
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We're getting married.
15
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One big, royal polyamorous family.
16
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The fairies can bring back
the wellspring?
17
00:00:31,166 --> 00:00:32,132
They can.
18
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And in return?
19
00:00:33,669 --> 00:00:35,602
The child that grows in the womb
20
00:00:35,637 --> 00:00:37,204
of the High King's wife.
21
00:00:37,239 --> 00:00:40,140
Some friends and I summoned a goddess.
22
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You may address me as Reynard the Fox,
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trickster of the very stupid.
24
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Reynard's son is John Gaines?
25
00:00:47,416 --> 00:00:49,015
My son...
26
00:00:50,752 --> 00:00:53,019
Jules, I talked to your shade.
27
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She's not gone.
28
00:00:54,289 --> 00:00:55,622
So where is she?
29
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Shades go to the Underworld.
30
00:00:57,693 --> 00:00:59,593
The living can access the Underworld
31
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with the help of a Gatekeeper.
32
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An Ancient One.
33
00:01:02,064 --> 00:01:04,631
I think I figured out
what an Ancient One is.
34
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Look, Q, you don't have to come with me.
35
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In fact, I don't think that you should.
36
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Noted, but I'm coming.
37
00:01:18,914 --> 00:01:21,381
You feel the energy coming off that?
38
00:01:21,416 --> 00:01:24,117
Yeah, also the stink.
39
00:01:27,055 --> 00:01:30,357
I don't know, my ancient Greek
is a little rusty.
40
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"The old reveals itself to the new
41
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at the fall of milk teeth."
42
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Milk teeth?
43
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Oh, baby teeth.
44
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You think we have to
stick one in to open it up?
45
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I mean, I could write a spell.
46
00:01:43,939 --> 00:01:46,473
Uh, we could find
the nearest child's house
47
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expecting the Tooth Fairy and...
48
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Break in and steal their teeth?
49
00:01:50,479 --> 00:01:52,946
I'd leave money.
50
00:01:54,182 --> 00:01:56,149
Uh, I hate to bring this up,
but I actually...
51
00:01:56,184 --> 00:01:57,550
I still have one...
52
00:01:57,586 --> 00:01:58,919
a molar that never came in.
53
00:01:58,954 --> 00:02:01,187
Oh, I know an extraction spell.
54
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Ah!
55
00:02:02,190 --> 00:02:04,024
- Fuck!
- Sorry.
56
00:02:07,029 --> 00:02:09,229
This dragon better be fucking cool.
57
00:02:16,438 --> 00:02:19,114
Hmm...
58
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Or not.
59
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[explosion]
60
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[tense music]
61
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♪ ♪
62
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I wouldn't have guessed baby teeth.
63
00:02:39,903 --> 00:02:42,504
Why would a dragon want baby teeth?
64
00:02:42,539 --> 00:02:46,174
- Shit.
- I collect baby teeth.
65
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As I collect many things, little mammal.
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♪ ♪
67
00:02:54,017 --> 00:02:56,451
Uh, greetings, your Ladyship.
68
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"Your Ladyship"?
69
00:02:58,221 --> 00:03:01,389
I am a Queen of the Great Worms.
70
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Of course you are.
71
00:03:02,993 --> 00:03:05,427
Uh, that's awesome... I wasn't
suggesting that you weren't.
72
00:03:05,462 --> 00:03:08,663
Your manner does not endear
me to you, human.
73
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We seek passage to the
Underworld, oh Ancient One.
74
00:03:15,405 --> 00:03:17,772
♪ ♪
75
00:03:17,808 --> 00:03:20,375
Hmm. You seek to die.
76
00:03:20,410 --> 00:03:24,846
Uh, no, actually, we were
hoping to come back after.
77
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Suit yourself.
78
00:03:26,950 --> 00:03:29,017
I require a gift.
79
00:03:29,052 --> 00:03:31,619
A gift? Um...
80
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yeah, I mean, name it,
81
00:03:33,123 --> 00:03:35,256
and we'll get it for you.
82
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You already have it.
83
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It's in your pocket.
84
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♪ ♪
85
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No. Pick something else.
86
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No, if it gets you your Shade back...
87
00:03:52,642 --> 00:03:54,342
No.
88
00:03:54,378 --> 00:03:56,011
Fillory is your home.
89
00:03:56,046 --> 00:03:57,779
And what about your friends?
What if they need you?
90
00:03:57,814 --> 00:03:59,781
We can't.
91
00:04:01,852 --> 00:04:04,886
Queen of the Great Worms.
92
00:04:04,921 --> 00:04:07,055
What if I, uh, needed to borrow it
93
00:04:07,090 --> 00:04:09,257
in the future, just super briefly?
94
00:04:09,292 --> 00:04:10,525
No.
95
00:04:10,560 --> 00:04:12,360
If you wish to return home,
96
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you must find other means.
97
00:04:14,231 --> 00:04:17,899
The first door remains open,
little mammal.
98
00:04:17,934 --> 00:04:22,470
Great, um, I super love riddles.
99
00:04:22,506 --> 00:04:28,276
♪ ♪
100
00:04:28,311 --> 00:04:31,613
Are you giving me the button or not?
101
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♪ ♪
102
00:04:40,490 --> 00:04:44,092
Your bodies will stay here,
and your souls will travel.
103
00:04:44,127 --> 00:04:46,561
You have 24 hours
to return to the portal.
104
00:04:46,596 --> 00:04:48,029
Or?
105
00:04:48,065 --> 00:04:51,366
I sit patiently,
waiting for you to come back.
106
00:04:51,401 --> 00:04:55,470
No, I eat you... I'm a fucking
dragon, what do you expect?
107
00:04:55,505 --> 00:04:56,871
Great, good to know.
108
00:04:56,907 --> 00:04:59,674
Then it's settled.
109
00:04:59,709 --> 00:05:02,610
[wind blowing]
110
00:05:02,646 --> 00:05:05,346
[both coughing]
111
00:05:05,382 --> 00:05:07,682
Jesus, a little warning next time.
112
00:05:07,717 --> 00:05:10,118
Really.
113
00:05:10,153 --> 00:05:13,288
Q, look.
114
00:05:13,323 --> 00:05:14,856
Time to go.
115
00:05:17,894 --> 00:05:20,128
Fucking millennials.
116
00:05:21,798 --> 00:05:24,933
[elevator dinging]
117
00:05:32,642 --> 00:05:34,442
[elevator door chimes]
118
00:05:39,249 --> 00:05:42,217
[lounge music]
119
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♪ ♪
120
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Welcome to the Underworld.
121
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Please take a number.
122
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♪ ♪
123
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The fuck?
124
00:05:57,934 --> 00:06:00,935
[whimsical music]
125
00:06:03,351 --> 00:06:07,367
Sync & corrections by honeybunny
WEB-DL resync by kinglouisxx
www.addic7ed.com 00:06:14,349
[sighs] Idri is almost here.
127
00:06:14,384 --> 00:06:17,619
And does anyone know where Fen is?
128
00:06:17,654 --> 00:06:20,788
[trumpets blare]
129
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I present King Idri of Loria.
130
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My life is perfect.
131
00:06:31,635 --> 00:06:32,934
Hello.
132
00:06:32,969 --> 00:06:35,003
[snaps fingers] Josh... wine, canapés.
133
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I said have it ready.
134
00:06:36,806 --> 00:06:39,607
We have a lovely blend of...
135
00:06:39,643 --> 00:06:40,775
Ahem. Okay.
136
00:06:40,810 --> 00:06:42,010
And where are the fire dancers?
137
00:06:42,045 --> 00:06:45,180
- I don't know.
- [sighs]
138
00:06:45,215 --> 00:06:46,848
I'm sorry, I had a whole thing...
139
00:06:46,883 --> 00:06:48,616
Your Majesty, this presentation
140
00:06:48,652 --> 00:06:51,452
is beautiful, but...
141
00:06:51,488 --> 00:06:53,621
It would be so much better
with fire dancers, I know.
142
00:06:53,657 --> 00:06:56,524
I hope my arrival isn't
causing undue stress.
143
00:06:56,560 --> 00:06:58,226
Stress?
144
00:06:58,261 --> 00:07:01,229
- I'm not stressed...
- Eliot.
145
00:07:01,264 --> 00:07:04,232
- I don't care about ceremony.
- You don't?
146
00:07:04,267 --> 00:07:07,769
- But...
- But I came here for you.
147
00:07:07,804 --> 00:07:11,639
Oh.
148
00:07:11,675 --> 00:07:13,608
Well...
149
00:07:13,643 --> 00:07:16,644
the feeling's mutual.
150
00:07:16,680 --> 00:07:21,649
Take me somewhere we can
become a bit better acquainted.
151
00:07:21,685 --> 00:07:23,585
Alone.
152
00:07:26,856 --> 00:07:29,324
Congratulations, you're dead.
153
00:07:29,359 --> 00:07:33,027
You've passed through the veil
to the Underworld.
154
00:07:33,063 --> 00:07:34,829
Is this your final destination?
155
00:07:34,864 --> 00:07:36,297
No.
156
00:07:36,333 --> 00:07:38,366
It's the first leg of your journey.
157
00:07:38,401 --> 00:07:41,569
We designed this part
of the Underworld for you,
158
00:07:41,605 --> 00:07:44,138
based on your life
and personal expectations
159
00:07:44,174 --> 00:07:47,008
to facilitate a comfortable transition.
160
00:07:47,043 --> 00:07:51,079
You've been grouped with others
who have similar expectations.
161
00:07:51,114 --> 00:07:52,347
Perfect, right?
162
00:07:52,382 --> 00:07:55,550
- [inhales sharply] Ow.
- What?
163
00:07:55,585 --> 00:07:58,453
Settle into this
next stage of your existence.
164
00:07:58,488 --> 00:08:00,888
In the unlikely event
you're missing your Shade,
165
00:08:00,924 --> 00:08:03,524
please report to a bellhop immediately.
166
00:08:03,560 --> 00:08:05,593
Enjoy your wait.
167
00:08:09,165 --> 00:08:10,598
I guess we need to find a bellhop.
168
00:08:10,634 --> 00:08:12,500
Security, we have a Shade-less patron!
169
00:08:12,535 --> 00:08:13,901
What? Hey!
170
00:08:13,937 --> 00:08:15,270
- Take him away.
- Why? Where are you taking me?
171
00:08:15,305 --> 00:08:17,639
- Thank you, thank you.
- Read me my rights!
172
00:08:17,674 --> 00:08:19,807
Hey, let go! Wait, ow!
173
00:08:19,843 --> 00:08:22,543
Or, you know, we take a beat.
174
00:08:22,579 --> 00:08:24,245
173.
175
00:08:26,549 --> 00:08:27,515
I'm 173.
176
00:08:27,550 --> 00:08:28,916
Place your hands on the counter
177
00:08:28,952 --> 00:08:31,386
for identification, please.
178
00:08:34,524 --> 00:08:37,292
Hey, do you know where they
were taking that guy just now?
179
00:08:37,327 --> 00:08:40,995
Oh, his soul is missing a little piece.
180
00:08:41,031 --> 00:08:42,297
They just took him somewhere where
181
00:08:42,332 --> 00:08:44,098
he would be more comfortable.
182
00:08:44,134 --> 00:08:45,500
So he could be reunited with it?
183
00:08:45,535 --> 00:08:47,368
I doubt it, that's very difficult to do.
184
00:08:47,404 --> 00:08:49,837
Especially after a prolonged separation.
185
00:08:49,873 --> 00:08:51,105
Yeah, but you can't just take...
186
00:08:51,141 --> 00:08:52,573
I assure you, all the Shades
187
00:08:52,609 --> 00:08:55,943
are safe and well protected
for their eternity.
188
00:08:55,979 --> 00:08:57,979
Nothing to worry over.
189
00:08:58,014 --> 00:08:59,180
Ah, here we are.
190
00:08:59,215 --> 00:09:02,283
Wicker and Coldwater.
191
00:09:02,319 --> 00:09:03,918
Oh.
192
00:09:03,953 --> 00:09:05,320
Oh, my.
193
00:09:09,259 --> 00:09:13,194
- What?
- You've both died 39 times.
194
00:09:13,229 --> 00:09:15,997
Aha... time loop. Thought so.
195
00:09:16,032 --> 00:09:18,733
Our computers do not handle these well.
196
00:09:18,768 --> 00:09:21,402
This will take a bit to sort out.
197
00:09:21,438 --> 00:09:23,371
Once you're in the system,
we'll reunite you
198
00:09:23,406 --> 00:09:24,772
with your immediate karmic circle,
199
00:09:24,808 --> 00:09:26,941
but until then, I'll need to
stick you somewhere.
200
00:09:26,976 --> 00:09:28,376
Do you like skiing?
201
00:09:28,411 --> 00:09:30,311
Look, I thought
this was just a waystation.
202
00:09:30,347 --> 00:09:32,680
- We're kind of in a hurry...
- Oh, it is.
203
00:09:32,716 --> 00:09:35,216
But souls do stay a while,
204
00:09:35,251 --> 00:09:37,885
until they're ready to...
205
00:09:37,921 --> 00:09:39,320
move on.
206
00:09:39,356 --> 00:09:41,389
Snorkeling? Art museums?
207
00:09:41,424 --> 00:09:44,292
Actually, is it possible
to check on a few names?
208
00:09:44,327 --> 00:09:47,462
I think I might have
a karmic circle we could visit.
209
00:09:56,773 --> 00:09:58,072
You're making progress.
210
00:09:58,108 --> 00:09:59,273
Am I?
211
00:09:59,309 --> 00:10:01,409
Nothing's happening.
212
00:10:01,444 --> 00:10:04,045
It's an exceedingly
difficult way to do magic.
213
00:10:04,080 --> 00:10:07,348
Trying to isolate muscles not
generally associated with...
214
00:10:07,384 --> 00:10:09,484
Call it what it is.
215
00:10:09,519 --> 00:10:11,119
Sphincter magic.
216
00:10:11,154 --> 00:10:12,820
Gets me there, no shame.
217
00:10:12,856 --> 00:10:14,088
And if it doesn't,
218
00:10:14,124 --> 00:10:16,290
we all need a healthy pelvic floor.
219
00:10:16,326 --> 00:10:18,159
Now, I'm afraid study time is over.
220
00:10:18,194 --> 00:10:20,094
I have your next job.
221
00:10:20,130 --> 00:10:22,897
- Re-shelving books.
- Great.
222
00:10:22,932 --> 00:10:25,166
Any questions, direct them to...
223
00:10:25,201 --> 00:10:26,501
where'd she go?
224
00:10:26,536 --> 00:10:28,102
- Sylvia!
- What?
225
00:10:28,138 --> 00:10:29,637
Shh!
226
00:10:33,943 --> 00:10:37,612
Penny, Sylvia. Sylvia, Penny.
227
00:10:37,647 --> 00:10:39,614
So what, I'm babysitting now?
228
00:10:39,649 --> 00:10:40,782
Oh, no.
229
00:10:40,817 --> 00:10:42,250
Sylvia is your supervisor.
230
00:10:42,285 --> 00:10:44,585
Good luck, I'll check back.
231
00:10:47,791 --> 00:10:49,724
Nice scarf.
232
00:10:51,795 --> 00:10:56,063
Anyway, I married Fen because I had to.
233
00:10:56,099 --> 00:10:59,567
But I didn't know her at all.
234
00:10:59,602 --> 00:11:02,069
And now...
235
00:11:02,105 --> 00:11:05,173
I don't know you.
236
00:11:05,208 --> 00:11:06,974
My wife used to say, there's one way
237
00:11:07,010 --> 00:11:10,912
to learn to be with another person.
238
00:11:10,947 --> 00:11:12,947
The hard way?
239
00:11:12,982 --> 00:11:15,817
Actually, yes.
240
00:11:15,852 --> 00:11:17,385
Stand up.
241
00:11:22,892 --> 00:11:25,660
Would you mind removing this?
242
00:11:33,269 --> 00:11:35,470
Buttons, too, please.
243
00:11:37,640 --> 00:11:40,875
- What are you doing?
- Shh.
244
00:11:40,910 --> 00:11:44,278
This is a lesson.
245
00:11:44,314 --> 00:11:47,748
All of them.
246
00:11:47,784 --> 00:11:49,050
Please.
247
00:11:49,085 --> 00:11:51,919
[piano melody]
248
00:11:51,955 --> 00:11:53,154
♪ ♪
249
00:11:53,189 --> 00:11:55,022
I really hate to bring this up,
250
00:11:55,058 --> 00:11:58,960
but you do realize there's
nothing we can actually do.
251
00:11:58,995 --> 00:12:00,695
Oh, I know.
252
00:12:02,565 --> 00:12:04,799
And yet, there's so much we can do.
253
00:12:04,834 --> 00:12:06,801
♪ ♪
254
00:12:06,836 --> 00:12:09,203
I can't touch you,
255
00:12:09,239 --> 00:12:11,639
you can't touch me,
256
00:12:11,674 --> 00:12:15,209
but I can tell you
how I want to touch you.
257
00:12:15,245 --> 00:12:19,280
And you can show me
how you like to be touched.
258
00:12:19,315 --> 00:12:22,283
I admire your commitment to education.
259
00:12:22,318 --> 00:12:23,951
♪ ♪
260
00:12:23,987 --> 00:12:27,355
If you're waiting for
my permission, don't.
261
00:12:38,301 --> 00:12:40,434
What the fuck?
262
00:12:40,470 --> 00:12:41,903
[woman screaming]
263
00:12:41,938 --> 00:12:44,305
Eliot, Heloise just turned into a rat!
264
00:12:44,340 --> 00:12:46,307
[screaming]
265
00:12:46,342 --> 00:12:47,508
Who is that?
266
00:12:47,544 --> 00:12:49,443
[screaming continues]
267
00:12:49,479 --> 00:12:52,164
I'm not getting laid tonight, am I?
268
00:12:55,198 --> 00:12:57,569
- This is all of them?
- We can't be sure.
269
00:12:57,932 --> 00:12:59,074
So many people have vanished
270
00:12:59,105 --> 00:13:01,173
and there are so many rats
in the castle already.
271
00:13:01,293 --> 00:13:04,027
[sighs] Well, one of 'em has to be Fen.
272
00:13:04,096 --> 00:13:06,363
Okay, bottom line it for me.
273
00:13:06,431 --> 00:13:07,564
What the fuck is going on?
274
00:13:07,633 --> 00:13:08,999
I'm sorry, Your Highness.
275
00:13:09,067 --> 00:13:11,101
But this magic,
I've never seen it before.
276
00:13:11,170 --> 00:13:14,571
Abigail? If you can hear me, squeak.
277
00:13:14,640 --> 00:13:16,273
Let me know you're okay.
278
00:13:16,341 --> 00:13:20,210
[sighs] Why didn't I study
how to speak rat in school?
279
00:13:21,580 --> 00:13:23,480
Okay, search the castle.
280
00:13:23,549 --> 00:13:24,549
Find every rat.
281
00:13:24,583 --> 00:13:26,183
And then Council meeting.
282
00:13:26,251 --> 00:13:29,019
Or what's left of the Council.
283
00:13:30,122 --> 00:13:33,123
[lively music]
284
00:13:33,192 --> 00:13:35,258
♪ ♪
285
00:13:35,327 --> 00:13:38,228
[heavy breathing]
286
00:13:39,831 --> 00:13:42,999
[both moaning]
287
00:13:48,106 --> 00:13:49,472
[chuckles]
288
00:13:49,541 --> 00:13:50,774
What do we call that?
289
00:13:50,842 --> 00:13:52,542
Mm...
290
00:13:52,611 --> 00:13:55,478
- In-sex-tion?
- [laughs]
291
00:13:55,547 --> 00:13:57,981
Inter-cepti-course?
292
00:13:58,050 --> 00:14:01,218
- Incepti-sex.
- [giggles]
293
00:14:01,286 --> 00:14:03,353
"Incepti-sex."
294
00:14:03,422 --> 00:14:05,522
I like that.
295
00:14:05,591 --> 00:14:08,658
That said, I like real life better.
296
00:14:08,727 --> 00:14:10,760
Mm.
297
00:14:10,829 --> 00:14:14,631
But at least this way, we
don't have to get up for beers.
298
00:14:14,700 --> 00:14:16,399
[laughs]
299
00:14:18,537 --> 00:14:20,303
Thank you.
300
00:14:24,243 --> 00:14:27,344
So, no pressure,
301
00:14:27,412 --> 00:14:29,779
but...
302
00:14:29,848 --> 00:14:31,147
any word on the Poison Room?
303
00:14:31,216 --> 00:14:32,682
Believe me, I want to get in there.
304
00:14:32,751 --> 00:14:34,451
It's... it's above my pay grade.
305
00:14:34,519 --> 00:14:36,286
I need a code to get in.
306
00:14:36,355 --> 00:14:38,054
Well, what about that librarian?
307
00:14:38,123 --> 00:14:39,556
Oh, man, if she has the code,
308
00:14:39,625 --> 00:14:41,625
it is locked down tighter
than a nun's pussy.
309
00:14:41,693 --> 00:14:43,593
Right, of course it is.
310
00:14:43,662 --> 00:14:47,464
Hey, does she have a book of her?
311
00:14:47,532 --> 00:14:50,433
Everyone has a book.
312
00:14:50,502 --> 00:14:51,334
You're thinking...
313
00:14:51,403 --> 00:14:54,104
If the room is that important...
314
00:14:54,172 --> 00:14:56,606
It's in her book.
315
00:14:56,675 --> 00:14:57,941
Okay.
316
00:14:58,010 --> 00:15:00,010
I can work on that.
317
00:15:00,078 --> 00:15:02,145
Hey, what's up with the Senator?
318
00:15:02,214 --> 00:15:03,546
He went back to work.
319
00:15:03,615 --> 00:15:04,981
He made up some bullshit excuse
320
00:15:05,050 --> 00:15:06,216
about the kidnapping.
321
00:15:06,285 --> 00:15:08,451
All the news outlets bought it.
322
00:15:08,520 --> 00:15:10,053
But hey, get this...
323
00:15:10,122 --> 00:15:12,756
I saw Reynard in the back of
a press photo.
324
00:15:12,824 --> 00:15:15,358
In a suit, like an advisor or something.
325
00:15:15,427 --> 00:15:17,394
Are you kidding me?
326
00:15:17,462 --> 00:15:19,663
He's a trickster.
327
00:15:19,731 --> 00:15:21,431
Guess that includes his own son.
328
00:15:21,500 --> 00:15:22,766
Jesus Christ.
329
00:15:22,834 --> 00:15:24,267
[tense music]
330
00:15:24,336 --> 00:15:26,036
We can't get one more vote?
331
00:15:26,104 --> 00:15:27,944
We're in touch with
Matthews, Bauer, Wheeler.
332
00:15:28,006 --> 00:15:30,640
Just give 'em a couple of days,
they'll come to their senses.
333
00:15:30,709 --> 00:15:32,042
Call in Senator Cowden.
334
00:15:32,110 --> 00:15:33,810
Why bother? He won't budge.
335
00:15:33,879 --> 00:15:36,246
We can change his mind. Trust me.
336
00:15:36,315 --> 00:15:38,248
How?
337
00:15:38,317 --> 00:15:40,517
Everyone, give us a minute.
338
00:15:45,991 --> 00:15:48,958
So they're taking your orders now?
339
00:15:49,027 --> 00:15:50,193
Have been for a while.
340
00:15:50,262 --> 00:15:52,295
I controlled their minds.
341
00:15:52,364 --> 00:15:55,265
Just like you have, many, many times.
342
00:15:55,334 --> 00:15:56,966
I don't know what you're talking about.
343
00:15:57,035 --> 00:15:59,002
You know you have that power.
344
00:15:59,071 --> 00:16:01,471
You've been using it your whole life.
345
00:16:01,540 --> 00:16:05,041
I always thought I had some kind of...
346
00:16:05,110 --> 00:16:08,445
god-level good luck.
347
00:16:08,513 --> 00:16:11,481
True, you've only used it instinctively,
348
00:16:11,550 --> 00:16:13,083
but I'm here now.
349
00:16:13,151 --> 00:16:15,285
I can teach you how to use it at will.
350
00:16:15,354 --> 00:16:16,886
Easy.
351
00:16:16,955 --> 00:16:19,022
And once you've mastered it,
352
00:16:19,091 --> 00:16:21,524
that's how you get Cowden's vote.
353
00:16:21,593 --> 00:16:23,126
I don't know that I want to do that.
354
00:16:23,195 --> 00:16:26,062
- It feels like cheating.
- They all don't cheat?
355
00:16:26,131 --> 00:16:28,198
Everyone uses whatever
they've got, John,
356
00:16:28,266 --> 00:16:30,500
and the bad ones don't hesitate.
357
00:16:30,569 --> 00:16:31,801
So someone like you,
358
00:16:31,870 --> 00:16:33,737
someone who wants to do some
359
00:16:33,805 --> 00:16:35,805
actual good in the world,
360
00:16:35,874 --> 00:16:38,875
how can you not?
361
00:16:38,944 --> 00:16:40,944
Here's all you have to do.
362
00:16:41,012 --> 00:16:43,079
Look at me.
363
00:16:45,817 --> 00:16:47,884
You look him straight in the eye,
364
00:16:47,953 --> 00:16:50,687
and you tell him, plainly.
365
00:16:50,756 --> 00:16:52,989
Directly.
366
00:16:53,058 --> 00:16:55,258
That's it?
367
00:16:55,327 --> 00:16:58,461
It's that simple.
368
00:16:58,530 --> 00:17:00,330
Good luck with the meeting, Senator.
369
00:17:04,369 --> 00:17:07,370
[lively music]
370
00:17:07,439 --> 00:17:09,472
♪ ♪
371
00:17:09,541 --> 00:17:12,976
[laughter, cheering]
372
00:17:13,044 --> 00:17:14,484
Why would anyone want their afterlife
373
00:17:14,513 --> 00:17:17,080
to look like a terrible
middle school birthday party?
374
00:17:17,149 --> 00:17:18,748
Is this about your "incident"?
375
00:17:18,817 --> 00:17:20,717
- I moved on.
- Have you?
376
00:17:20,786 --> 00:17:22,185
- Julia?
- Julia!
377
00:17:22,254 --> 00:17:24,387
- Julia!
- Oh, welcome!
378
00:17:24,456 --> 00:17:26,423
Welcome!
379
00:17:26,491 --> 00:17:28,091
Where's Bender? Is he okay?
380
00:17:28,160 --> 00:17:29,592
He's great. He moved on.
381
00:17:29,661 --> 00:17:32,429
Uh, who's your friend,
and what's his shoe size?
382
00:17:32,497 --> 00:17:34,497
Uh, we're not really here to bowl.
383
00:17:34,566 --> 00:17:36,366
Kid, the first rule of being dead,
384
00:17:36,435 --> 00:17:38,435
if you're here, ya bowl.
385
00:17:38,503 --> 00:17:40,069
We're actually not dead, either.
386
00:17:40,138 --> 00:17:41,538
Uh, we're here because
we need your help.
387
00:17:41,606 --> 00:17:43,306
Julia?
388
00:17:44,643 --> 00:17:46,509
[chuckles]
389
00:17:50,382 --> 00:17:52,749
What?
390
00:17:52,818 --> 00:17:54,083
Nothing.
391
00:17:54,152 --> 00:17:56,119
It's... it's good to see you, Richard.
392
00:17:56,188 --> 00:17:58,621
- I mean, the real you.
- The real me?
393
00:17:58,690 --> 00:18:00,857
What happened?
394
00:18:00,926 --> 00:18:02,058
I need your help.
395
00:18:02,127 --> 00:18:04,294
I need to find my Shade.
396
00:18:04,362 --> 00:18:05,895
Okay.
397
00:18:08,454 --> 00:18:10,960
The underworld is massive.
There's every ecosystem.
398
00:18:11,088 --> 00:18:13,332
Nearest we can tell, about 2,000 islands
399
00:18:13,603 --> 00:18:15,303
built to look like Hawaii.
400
00:18:15,371 --> 00:18:16,604
And you went with a bowling alley?
401
00:18:16,673 --> 00:18:17,673
Fuck yeah.
402
00:18:17,707 --> 00:18:18,906
And the powers that be
403
00:18:18,975 --> 00:18:21,275
are into whatever helps us settle in
404
00:18:21,344 --> 00:18:22,877
so that we can move on.
405
00:18:22,946 --> 00:18:24,879
Ow, yeah! Whoo!
406
00:18:24,948 --> 00:18:27,348
- "Powers that be"?
- Yeah. Gods.
407
00:18:27,417 --> 00:18:28,916
We were right about them being real.
408
00:18:28,985 --> 00:18:30,585
Hades created the Underworld,
409
00:18:30,653 --> 00:18:32,053
runs it with his wife, Persephone.
410
00:18:32,121 --> 00:18:34,789
They live in a big house way over here.
411
00:18:34,857 --> 00:18:37,191
It's a beautiful area called Elysium.
412
00:18:37,260 --> 00:18:39,594
Apparently, they used to
come and go like clockwork
413
00:18:39,662 --> 00:18:42,196
every fall and spring, but a while back,
414
00:18:42,265 --> 00:18:43,531
they just disappeared.
415
00:18:43,600 --> 00:18:46,601
Wait, why are you
doing all this, Richard?
416
00:18:46,669 --> 00:18:48,936
I know you. This is a project.
417
00:18:49,005 --> 00:18:50,871
I'm trying to find my son.
418
00:18:50,940 --> 00:18:53,541
I don't know where he is,
if he's even still here.
419
00:18:53,610 --> 00:18:55,076
But he's got to be somewhere.
420
00:18:55,144 --> 00:18:58,012
And they won't tell me a damn thing.
421
00:18:58,081 --> 00:19:00,114
Why not?
422
00:19:00,183 --> 00:19:03,451
I'm flagged as culpable in his death.
423
00:19:03,519 --> 00:19:04,919
There are rules.
424
00:19:04,988 --> 00:19:07,288
And friends to help me break them.
425
00:19:07,357 --> 00:19:08,990
[chuckles]
426
00:19:09,058 --> 00:19:11,392
Okay, so wait, so where
do they keep the Shades?
427
00:19:11,461 --> 00:19:12,827
Sorry, we don't know that yet.
428
00:19:12,895 --> 00:19:14,095
So we're flying blind?
429
00:19:14,163 --> 00:19:16,397
Hun, you're gonna have to bowl.
430
00:19:16,466 --> 00:19:18,332
No, look, I had an incident
when I was a kid.
431
00:19:18,401 --> 00:19:20,368
- My fingers got stuck in the...
- Oh, get over it.
432
00:19:20,436 --> 00:19:21,736
Your girl would.
433
00:19:21,804 --> 00:19:23,771
- She's not my girl.
- No shit.
434
00:19:23,840 --> 00:19:25,439
She's tough as granite.
435
00:19:25,508 --> 00:19:27,575
And you're afraid to bowl.
436
00:19:27,644 --> 00:19:28,676
Fine.
437
00:19:28,745 --> 00:19:30,811
[chuckles]
438
00:19:33,850 --> 00:19:37,485
How long before the dragon
eats you and Quentin?
439
00:19:37,553 --> 00:19:39,186
Tomorrow morning.
440
00:19:39,255 --> 00:19:40,721
Always the one to tell the impossible
441
00:19:40,790 --> 00:19:41,989
to go fuck itself, huh?
442
00:19:42,058 --> 00:19:45,526
Yeah, well, it doesn't always listen.
443
00:19:45,595 --> 00:19:47,795
They'll know where the Shades
are kept at reception.
444
00:19:47,864 --> 00:19:49,997
I don't know, they didn't seem too keen
445
00:19:50,066 --> 00:19:52,667
on helping out a person
who looked like this.
446
00:19:53,569 --> 00:19:55,636
Shit, it seems to be closing up
447
00:19:55,705 --> 00:19:57,772
much faster down here.
448
00:19:57,840 --> 00:19:59,273
Okay, so we hurry.
449
00:19:59,342 --> 00:20:01,242
But just... not for nothing,
reception isn't keen
450
00:20:01,311 --> 00:20:03,778
to help much of anyone... I can't
count the number of times
451
00:20:03,846 --> 00:20:08,115
I've been kicked out of there,
trying to find my little boy.
452
00:20:08,184 --> 00:20:10,851
- I have an idea.
- Oh, my God, Julia!
453
00:20:10,920 --> 00:20:13,054
I...I got a strike.
454
00:20:13,122 --> 00:20:14,021
Whoo!
455
00:20:14,090 --> 00:20:15,523
Yeah, Q!
456
00:20:15,591 --> 00:20:17,792
The thing about the
Underworld is, the first week,
457
00:20:17,860 --> 00:20:19,727
it's always a strike.
458
00:20:22,265 --> 00:20:24,598
Let him have this one.
459
00:20:24,667 --> 00:20:26,467
Whoo! Go, Q!
460
00:20:26,536 --> 00:20:27,702
- [laughs]
- Ow!
461
00:20:30,340 --> 00:20:31,605
[gasps]
462
00:20:31,674 --> 00:20:33,841
[tense music]
463
00:20:33,910 --> 00:20:37,445
- You wanted to talk?
- You lying son of a bitch.
464
00:20:37,513 --> 00:20:41,449
You turned Fen into a rat,
along with half the castle.
465
00:20:41,517 --> 00:20:43,384
Fen is in her human form,
466
00:20:43,453 --> 00:20:45,052
in the Fairy Realm.
467
00:20:45,121 --> 00:20:46,620
And she was taken because you tried to
468
00:20:46,689 --> 00:20:47,988
get clever with our deal.
469
00:20:48,057 --> 00:20:51,225
So you turned half my staff
into snake food?
470
00:20:51,294 --> 00:20:53,427
- That wasn't the fairies.
- Oh.
471
00:20:53,496 --> 00:20:57,131
Well, it sure smells like
their whimsical bullshit.
472
00:20:58,334 --> 00:21:00,301
"Whimsical."
473
00:21:00,370 --> 00:21:02,203
It's the mark of the stupid
and the arrogant
474
00:21:02,271 --> 00:21:04,438
to attack what you can't comprehend.
475
00:21:04,507 --> 00:21:06,073
Fine.
476
00:21:06,142 --> 00:21:07,875
Get it out of your system.
477
00:21:07,944 --> 00:21:10,244
Then if you know what's going on,
478
00:21:10,313 --> 00:21:12,313
just tell me.
479
00:21:12,382 --> 00:21:14,081
I take it back.
480
00:21:14,150 --> 00:21:17,485
You're not entirely simple-minded.
481
00:21:17,553 --> 00:21:18,853
There's another power,
482
00:21:18,921 --> 00:21:20,921
which you made the mistake
of overlooking.
483
00:21:20,990 --> 00:21:22,990
You want to be specific, or not?
484
00:21:23,059 --> 00:21:25,025
A power without logic.
485
00:21:25,094 --> 00:21:29,430
A power that acts, not for gain,
but solely because it can.
486
00:21:29,499 --> 00:21:32,099
That's the true danger.
487
00:21:32,168 --> 00:21:33,634
Face that.
488
00:21:33,703 --> 00:21:36,303
Or face the end of your kingdom.
489
00:21:36,372 --> 00:21:43,277
♪ ♪
490
00:21:45,715 --> 00:21:47,381
Uh, hey.
491
00:21:47,450 --> 00:21:50,584
- I got a question for you.
- Of course.
492
00:21:50,653 --> 00:21:52,386
How can I help?
493
00:21:52,455 --> 00:21:55,990
You know, I never got your name.
494
00:21:56,058 --> 00:21:58,859
You may call me Head Librarian.
495
00:21:58,928 --> 00:22:00,461
[chuckles]
496
00:22:00,530 --> 00:22:01,829
And, uh...
497
00:22:01,898 --> 00:22:04,765
what do I get to call you
outside of work?
498
00:22:04,834 --> 00:22:06,867
I see what you're getting at.
499
00:22:06,936 --> 00:22:09,737
But interoffice courtship
is expressly prohibited.
500
00:22:09,806 --> 00:22:12,206
I'm flattered, but rules are rule.
501
00:22:12,275 --> 00:22:13,841
Are they?
502
00:22:13,910 --> 00:22:16,977
Always?
503
00:22:17,046 --> 00:22:19,747
Penny, please don't take it personally,
504
00:22:19,816 --> 00:22:22,383
but you're not my type.
505
00:22:22,452 --> 00:22:24,885
You're a touch emotionally insecure,
506
00:22:24,954 --> 00:22:27,788
for which you compensate heavily
with boisterousness
507
00:22:27,857 --> 00:22:30,257
and foul language.
508
00:22:30,326 --> 00:22:32,426
I'm here if you need anything else.
509
00:22:34,797 --> 00:22:36,964
[snickering]
510
00:22:45,908 --> 00:22:48,108
- Hey, guys.
- Mr. Corrigan.
511
00:22:48,177 --> 00:22:49,977
Uh, Mr. Corrigan, you have
no need to be in here.
512
00:22:50,046 --> 00:22:51,278
Just a couple of questions.
513
00:22:51,347 --> 00:22:53,180
- I'm gonna take a number.
- Please, sir.
514
00:22:53,249 --> 00:22:55,282
Um, you know what, I'm gonna
take a couple of numbers,
515
00:22:55,351 --> 00:22:57,451
just in case I don't...
I don't hear the first number.
516
00:22:57,520 --> 00:22:59,120
Yeah, wow, you guys got
a lot of numbers.
517
00:22:59,188 --> 00:23:00,554
Mr. Corrigan, I beseech you.
518
00:23:00,623 --> 00:23:02,423
Oh, no, does this thing
run out of numbers?
519
00:23:02,492 --> 00:23:04,332
- There we go.
- Playtime's over, Mr. Corrigan.
520
00:23:04,360 --> 00:23:06,060
I'm not playing,
I really have questions.
521
00:23:06,128 --> 00:23:07,528
Quite the jokester you are. That is it.
522
00:23:07,597 --> 00:23:10,064
- Security!
- Don't call security, Thomas.
523
00:23:10,132 --> 00:23:11,899
- Security!
- Oh, no, security.
524
00:23:11,968 --> 00:23:13,567
- They're on their way.
- No, no, no.
525
00:23:13,636 --> 00:23:15,503
I'm just getting a number here.
Ha ha, very funny.
526
00:23:15,571 --> 00:23:17,705
Does this thing run out of numbers?
527
00:23:17,773 --> 00:23:19,540
It's locked.
528
00:23:19,609 --> 00:23:22,610
[indistinct] Security!
529
00:23:22,678 --> 00:23:24,478
- "Disconnected Shade."
- Where?
530
00:23:24,547 --> 00:23:25,613
It doesn't say.
531
00:23:25,681 --> 00:23:27,347
Just says "E."
532
00:23:29,218 --> 00:23:31,151
Another one, "disconnected Shade, 'E.'"
533
00:23:31,220 --> 00:23:34,388
Wait, if they all say "E"...
534
00:23:34,457 --> 00:23:36,223
- Elysium.
- Yes.
535
00:23:36,292 --> 00:23:39,326
Okay, great, it's the complete
opposite end of the Underworld.
536
00:23:39,395 --> 00:23:41,962
Take him away for
disciplinary processing.
537
00:23:42,031 --> 00:23:43,564
- Thank you.
- There's no need, guys.
538
00:23:43,633 --> 00:23:45,165
Okay, you got me.
539
00:23:45,234 --> 00:23:48,802
Hope you had some fun to make
your confinement worthwhile.
540
00:23:48,871 --> 00:23:50,938
Oh, what's a few weeks out of eternity?
541
00:23:51,007 --> 00:23:54,174
[exciting music]
542
00:23:54,243 --> 00:23:58,846
♪ ♪
543
00:23:58,915 --> 00:24:01,515
This is books for school kids.
544
00:24:01,584 --> 00:24:02,516
If it's so important,
545
00:24:02,585 --> 00:24:05,219
finding me that five mil
can't be too hard.
546
00:24:05,288 --> 00:24:06,954
I'm not adding another amendment.
547
00:24:07,023 --> 00:24:09,156
You invited me in.
548
00:24:09,225 --> 00:24:11,659
You knew what you were getting into.
549
00:24:11,727 --> 00:24:13,627
Right.
550
00:24:13,696 --> 00:24:16,630
[tense music]
551
00:24:16,699 --> 00:24:22,436
♪ ♪
552
00:24:22,505 --> 00:24:25,072
You're going to support this bill.
553
00:24:25,141 --> 00:24:28,576
In fact, your yes will be
the first vote cast.
554
00:24:28,644 --> 00:24:32,246
♪ ♪
555
00:24:32,315 --> 00:24:35,549
John, this bill should've
been passed a long time ago.
556
00:24:35,618 --> 00:24:38,953
And I'm sorry for trying to
drag you into the ditch on this.
557
00:24:39,021 --> 00:24:41,722
You have my vote.
558
00:24:41,791 --> 00:24:44,124
Then I thank you for your help.
559
00:24:45,928 --> 00:24:47,294
You all right?
560
00:24:47,363 --> 00:24:48,862
♪ ♪
561
00:24:48,931 --> 00:24:50,497
[gags]
562
00:24:50,566 --> 00:24:52,232
Let me get you some water.
563
00:24:52,301 --> 00:24:55,336
I...I must've stood up too fast.
564
00:24:55,404 --> 00:24:58,205
- Here you go.
- [groans]
565
00:24:58,274 --> 00:24:59,840
I...I need to make a...
566
00:24:59,909 --> 00:25:01,208
Becca!
567
00:25:01,277 --> 00:25:04,085
Becca, get the doctor.
Get the doctor now!
568
00:25:06,699 --> 00:25:09,000
John, I'm sorry but
569
00:25:09,307 --> 00:25:11,269
I think you're overestimating
yourself, here.
570
00:25:11,344 --> 00:25:14,572
No, honey, I'm being 100% literal.
571
00:25:14,641 --> 00:25:16,408
I am not human, Cindy.
572
00:25:16,476 --> 00:25:18,977
And I know it sounds ridiculous,
but it is true.
573
00:25:19,046 --> 00:25:20,211
Okay...
574
00:25:20,280 --> 00:25:22,414
I think that you have
been working too hard...
575
00:25:22,482 --> 00:25:23,482
No, I haven't.
576
00:25:23,550 --> 00:25:24,807
I haven't.
577
00:25:26,420 --> 00:25:28,153
I am telling you the truth.
578
00:25:28,221 --> 00:25:29,587
Because you are the one I trust.
579
00:25:29,656 --> 00:25:32,791
You are the only one, really.
580
00:25:32,859 --> 00:25:36,494
And I really just need
your support right now, babe.
581
00:25:38,398 --> 00:25:40,899
Of course, honey.
582
00:25:40,967 --> 00:25:43,702
I apologize.
583
00:25:43,770 --> 00:25:46,538
I know that you always find
a way to do the right thing,
584
00:25:46,606 --> 00:25:48,373
and I am here for you.
585
00:25:48,442 --> 00:25:50,108
Whatever you need.
586
00:25:50,177 --> 00:25:54,045
[ominous music]
587
00:25:54,114 --> 00:25:55,513
Now come on.
588
00:25:55,582 --> 00:25:57,248
Let's go home.
589
00:25:57,317 --> 00:25:59,217
[chuckles]
590
00:25:59,286 --> 00:26:06,324
♪ ♪
591
00:26:14,935 --> 00:26:17,969
[whimsical music]
592
00:26:18,038 --> 00:26:22,607
♪ ♪
593
00:26:22,676 --> 00:26:25,577
[children giggling]
594
00:26:25,645 --> 00:26:27,412
It's like a Shade orphanage.
595
00:26:27,481 --> 00:26:28,546
We should hurry.
596
00:26:28,615 --> 00:26:29,581
We're running out of time.
597
00:26:29,649 --> 00:26:31,216
We should split up.
598
00:26:31,284 --> 00:26:33,385
I kind of have a thing about
splitting up in houses
599
00:26:33,453 --> 00:26:35,086
full of creepy kids.
600
00:26:44,698 --> 00:26:46,331
Hey, can we ask you a question?
601
00:26:46,400 --> 00:26:48,500
- Sure.
- What was that?
602
00:26:48,568 --> 00:26:50,168
That you just did with the money?
603
00:26:50,237 --> 00:26:52,570
For the little boy?
604
00:26:52,639 --> 00:26:53,738
What little boy?
605
00:26:53,807 --> 00:26:56,007
The little boy with the shitty dad.
606
00:26:56,076 --> 00:26:57,076
He ran away.
607
00:26:57,110 --> 00:26:58,710
And now he's cold and hungry.
608
00:26:58,779 --> 00:27:01,045
He'll find it on the sidewalk
any minute.
609
00:27:03,049 --> 00:27:05,283
And that...
610
00:27:05,352 --> 00:27:07,051
She's in a hospital room.
611
00:27:07,120 --> 00:27:08,420
She's making them bloom.
612
00:27:08,488 --> 00:27:11,523
It's a really obvious miracle,
but that's okay.
613
00:27:11,591 --> 00:27:13,758
The girl in the room
is gonna die anyways.
614
00:27:13,827 --> 00:27:15,660
So you're all making miracles.
615
00:27:15,729 --> 00:27:18,062
Just little tiny ones, though.
616
00:27:18,131 --> 00:27:19,431
Cool.
617
00:27:19,499 --> 00:27:22,167
Um, we were looking for a Shade.
618
00:27:22,235 --> 00:27:26,504
- Her name's Julia.
- Yeah, uh, she looks like her.
619
00:27:26,573 --> 00:27:28,339
Kind of. Um, and...
620
00:27:28,408 --> 00:27:30,074
Well, she's a... she's a mess.
621
00:27:30,143 --> 00:27:32,610
We all were when we got here.
622
00:27:32,679 --> 00:27:33,778
Anything else?
623
00:27:33,847 --> 00:27:35,880
Um, she's brave.
624
00:27:35,949 --> 00:27:38,550
And funny, and she probably made friends
625
00:27:38,618 --> 00:27:41,219
with some of the most shy,
maladjusted Shades.
626
00:27:41,288 --> 00:27:44,756
She's curious, and she won't
take no for an answer.
627
00:27:45,959 --> 00:27:48,526
Are you looking for the kind of new one,
628
00:27:48,595 --> 00:27:51,162
who's always getting in trouble
and sneaking into
629
00:27:51,231 --> 00:27:53,031
Ms. Persephone's room...
because, you know,
630
00:27:53,099 --> 00:27:54,966
we're never supposed to go in there.
631
00:27:55,035 --> 00:27:55,934
[laughs]
632
00:27:56,002 --> 00:27:59,070
Yeah. Yeah, that does sound like her.
633
00:27:59,139 --> 00:28:01,773
I just saw her. This way.
634
00:28:03,210 --> 00:28:05,343
[children giggling]
635
00:28:05,412 --> 00:28:06,511
Up those stairs.
636
00:28:06,580 --> 00:28:08,379
Last door.
637
00:28:08,448 --> 00:28:10,582
[ominous music]
638
00:28:10,650 --> 00:28:12,584
- Eugene?
- Yeah?
639
00:28:12,652 --> 00:28:14,285
Who's that?
640
00:28:14,354 --> 00:28:15,653
That's Ms. Persephone.
641
00:28:15,722 --> 00:28:17,822
She hasn't been here
for a really long time
642
00:28:17,891 --> 00:28:19,491
and no one knows where she is.
643
00:28:19,559 --> 00:28:21,826
♪ ♪
644
00:28:21,895 --> 00:28:24,229
Thank you so much for all your help.
645
00:28:28,835 --> 00:28:32,036
That's Our Lady Underground.
646
00:28:32,105 --> 00:28:33,438
What?
647
00:28:33,507 --> 00:28:35,406
The one that you...
648
00:28:35,475 --> 00:28:42,413
♪ ♪
649
00:28:42,482 --> 00:28:45,850
So you were real all along, huh?
650
00:28:45,919 --> 00:28:48,319
Just completely AWOL.
651
00:28:48,388 --> 00:28:50,955
Self-centered bitch.
652
00:28:51,024 --> 00:28:53,691
♪ ♪
653
00:28:53,760 --> 00:28:57,362
We were so stupid to love you.
654
00:28:57,430 --> 00:28:59,097
Jules...
655
00:28:59,165 --> 00:29:01,466
- I'm sorry.
- For what?
656
00:29:01,535 --> 00:29:05,169
Look, I'm glad I know.
657
00:29:05,238 --> 00:29:07,272
It's always better to know, Q.
658
00:29:07,340 --> 00:29:08,940
You keep watch.
659
00:29:09,009 --> 00:29:10,508
I'll sneak in and find the part of me
660
00:29:10,577 --> 00:29:12,143
that already snuck in.
661
00:29:12,212 --> 00:29:14,045
Hmm.
662
00:29:19,452 --> 00:29:21,185
We're under attack.
663
00:29:21,254 --> 00:29:24,923
The Rattening, now reports of
upside down rain.
664
00:29:24,991 --> 00:29:27,926
Correct... as well as ant hills
turning into volcanoes,
665
00:29:27,994 --> 00:29:30,562
the Balmy Sea turning to acid,
666
00:29:30,630 --> 00:29:33,731
and the mysterious disappearance
of all blondes
667
00:29:33,800 --> 00:29:35,466
in the province of Crickety Cove.
668
00:29:35,535 --> 00:29:39,070
The talking animals report
this includes palomino horses.
669
00:29:39,139 --> 00:29:41,906
Also, every chicken in Fillory
has laryngitis.
670
00:29:41,975 --> 00:29:45,376
Is there a pattern to any of this?
671
00:29:45,445 --> 00:29:46,778
None that we can tell.
672
00:29:46,846 --> 00:29:49,013
Only that whatever it is,
it is increasing.
673
00:29:49,082 --> 00:29:51,983
Idri's turned into a rat,
so it isn't the Lorians.
674
00:29:52,052 --> 00:29:54,552
We've incapacitated the FU Fighters.
675
00:29:54,621 --> 00:29:56,354
That leaves...
676
00:29:56,423 --> 00:29:58,256
the people in this room.
677
00:29:58,325 --> 00:30:01,225
[tense music]
678
00:30:01,294 --> 00:30:02,827
Your Highness?
679
00:30:02,896 --> 00:30:04,862
If anyone has anything to say...
680
00:30:04,931 --> 00:30:06,831
I'm embezzling funds
from the royal treasury.
681
00:30:06,900 --> 00:30:08,700
- Why did I just say that?
- Hah!
682
00:30:08,768 --> 00:30:11,903
Because there's truth serum
in this wine.
683
00:30:11,972 --> 00:30:15,807
I've truthied you. Anyone else?
684
00:30:15,875 --> 00:30:18,776
Abigail and I have been using
the castle guards
685
00:30:18,845 --> 00:30:20,345
to run an escort service.
686
00:30:20,413 --> 00:30:22,046
Gross.
687
00:30:22,115 --> 00:30:23,481
But clever.
688
00:30:23,550 --> 00:30:25,650
Doesn't help us.
689
00:30:25,719 --> 00:30:27,285
Should've made this stronger.
690
00:30:27,354 --> 00:30:30,154
♪ ♪
691
00:30:30,223 --> 00:30:31,656
It was me.
692
00:30:31,725 --> 00:30:37,195
♪ ♪
693
00:30:37,263 --> 00:30:40,098
I made a deal with the fairies
and I know where Fen is.
694
00:30:40,166 --> 00:30:44,035
♪ ♪
695
00:30:45,772 --> 00:30:49,107
You got to be kidding me.
696
00:30:49,175 --> 00:30:51,142
It's not your break.
697
00:30:53,847 --> 00:30:57,382
So what? You, uh... you gonna report me?
698
00:30:57,450 --> 00:31:00,051
Answer a question, maybe I'll forget to.
699
00:31:02,088 --> 00:31:03,254
What's your question?
700
00:31:03,323 --> 00:31:05,123
You trying to fuck that librarian?
701
00:31:05,191 --> 00:31:06,057
No!
702
00:31:06,126 --> 00:31:07,925
I saw you. You want to fuck her.
703
00:31:07,994 --> 00:31:09,427
You want to lick her butthole, huh?
704
00:31:09,496 --> 00:31:10,895
Whoa, Jesus, no!
705
00:31:10,964 --> 00:31:12,864
Then why are you scamming her so hard
706
00:31:12,932 --> 00:31:15,733
that I nearly blew you?
707
00:31:15,802 --> 00:31:17,235
I just need her name, okay?
708
00:31:17,303 --> 00:31:19,103
Oh, why didn't you ask? Here.
709
00:31:21,975 --> 00:31:24,575
The "S" stands for Shot,
or maybe it's Schiff.
710
00:31:24,644 --> 00:31:26,277
Let me know if you find
anything gross in her book.
711
00:31:26,346 --> 00:31:28,312
I have a feeling she's a total
freak in the sack.
712
00:31:28,381 --> 00:31:29,580
Okay.
713
00:31:29,649 --> 00:31:30,948
What's your deal?
714
00:31:31,017 --> 00:31:33,718
- I have no deal.
- You're a child.
715
00:31:33,787 --> 00:31:35,053
Okay, Grandpa, that's a little...
716
00:31:35,121 --> 00:31:39,657
What are you even doing stuck here?
717
00:31:39,726 --> 00:31:42,193
What do they have on you?
718
00:31:42,262 --> 00:31:44,962
Nothing.
719
00:31:45,031 --> 00:31:46,497
Okay, fine, they're protecting me.
720
00:31:46,566 --> 00:31:49,400
Protecting you from what?
721
00:31:49,469 --> 00:31:52,170
My dad is a businessman
722
00:31:52,238 --> 00:31:54,639
and sometimes his competition
can get a little rough,
723
00:31:54,708 --> 00:31:56,040
so he sent me here.
724
00:31:56,109 --> 00:31:58,943
- Like, he's a...
- Legitimate businessman.
725
00:31:59,012 --> 00:32:00,411
Can we please not talk about it?
726
00:32:00,480 --> 00:32:03,014
My God, you're like
that whiny little kid
727
00:32:03,083 --> 00:32:05,550
in "The Sopranos," Willow.
728
00:32:05,618 --> 00:32:07,452
Jesus Christ, you are so lame.
729
00:32:07,520 --> 00:32:09,053
Please.
730
00:32:10,523 --> 00:32:12,457
And her name was Meadow.
731
00:32:17,664 --> 00:32:19,564
You truthied me?
732
00:32:19,632 --> 00:32:21,499
I can't lie.
733
00:32:21,568 --> 00:32:23,801
Eliot, I did this for you.
734
00:32:23,870 --> 00:32:26,370
- There was no other way.
- Don't.
735
00:32:28,108 --> 00:32:30,842
You started this when you declared war.
736
00:32:30,910 --> 00:32:33,778
Now my wife and child are gone.
737
00:32:33,847 --> 00:32:35,213
I need to deal with the rats.
738
00:32:35,281 --> 00:32:39,083
I can't risk having to
clean up your next mess.
739
00:32:43,757 --> 00:32:45,456
Guards.
740
00:32:45,525 --> 00:32:47,158
No, Eliot.
741
00:32:47,227 --> 00:32:50,862
- What are you doing?
- I don't know what else to do.
742
00:32:50,930 --> 00:32:54,298
- Take her to the dungeon.
- No!
743
00:32:54,367 --> 00:32:56,968
Eliot...
744
00:32:57,036 --> 00:32:59,003
I'll fix this.
745
00:33:01,007 --> 00:33:04,075
Make sure she gets the best room.
746
00:33:04,144 --> 00:33:06,711
And see that she gets her coconut oil.
747
00:33:06,780 --> 00:33:08,880
Good-bye, Margo.
748
00:33:17,090 --> 00:33:20,124
[glass shatters] Oh, shit!
749
00:33:23,663 --> 00:33:24,896
[giggling]
750
00:33:24,964 --> 00:33:26,697
[shimmering tone]
751
00:33:26,766 --> 00:33:29,133
[giggling]
752
00:33:34,841 --> 00:33:37,809
[ominous music]
753
00:33:37,877 --> 00:33:42,780
♪ ♪
754
00:33:42,849 --> 00:33:45,283
I know you're in there.
755
00:33:45,351 --> 00:33:46,818
Come out.
756
00:33:46,886 --> 00:33:48,753
It's okay.
757
00:33:48,822 --> 00:33:50,321
It's me.
758
00:33:50,390 --> 00:33:54,959
♪ ♪
759
00:33:55,028 --> 00:33:56,861
Oh, my God.
760
00:34:00,542 --> 00:34:03,570
Julia, I found her she's...
761
00:34:05,432 --> 00:34:06,797
Quentin.
762
00:34:08,601 --> 00:34:11,368
I missed you so much.
763
00:34:11,437 --> 00:34:14,004
Oh, my God.
764
00:34:14,073 --> 00:34:15,372
Hi.
765
00:34:19,278 --> 00:34:21,245
Are you okay?
766
00:34:21,313 --> 00:34:22,880
Yeah. Are you?
767
00:34:22,948 --> 00:34:25,449
Not really.
768
00:34:25,518 --> 00:34:27,117
Without you.
769
00:34:27,186 --> 00:34:30,053
Did you get Reynard yet?
770
00:34:30,122 --> 00:34:32,022
I'm trying.
771
00:34:37,930 --> 00:34:40,430
[giggling]
772
00:34:40,499 --> 00:34:42,766
She talks about him all the time.
773
00:34:42,835 --> 00:34:44,835
Says he's a good guy.
774
00:34:44,904 --> 00:34:47,404
Stupid sometimes, but good.
775
00:34:47,473 --> 00:34:50,541
[sentimental music]
776
00:34:50,609 --> 00:34:53,010
Is there any way
we can take her with us too?
777
00:34:53,078 --> 00:34:59,983
♪ ♪
778
00:35:06,725 --> 00:35:09,359
I know you told security to keep me out,
779
00:35:09,428 --> 00:35:11,962
but then I suggested they let me in.
780
00:35:12,031 --> 00:35:14,364
Stalemate, I guess.
781
00:35:14,433 --> 00:35:16,033
Is this about Cowden?
782
00:35:16,101 --> 00:35:18,602
I think you just
overwhelmed him a little.
783
00:35:18,671 --> 00:35:21,271
I know it's a lot, but it's worth it.
784
00:35:21,340 --> 00:35:23,440
My wife.
785
00:35:23,509 --> 00:35:25,876
Is anything about our relationship real?
786
00:35:25,945 --> 00:35:29,213
I've been controlling her
from the day we met, right?
787
00:35:29,281 --> 00:35:31,415
Yes. Lucky her.
788
00:35:31,483 --> 00:35:33,317
How is that?
789
00:35:33,385 --> 00:35:35,085
She's a person.
790
00:35:35,154 --> 00:35:36,353
Yes.
791
00:35:36,422 --> 00:35:37,688
And you're not.
792
00:35:37,756 --> 00:35:39,456
The sooner you wrap
your head around that...
793
00:35:39,525 --> 00:35:41,692
No, no.
794
00:35:41,760 --> 00:35:42,760
I don't want it.
795
00:35:42,828 --> 00:35:44,995
You want to be President
796
00:35:45,064 --> 00:35:47,164
of this entire idiotic country.
797
00:35:47,233 --> 00:35:49,566
You have always sensed your place.
798
00:35:49,635 --> 00:35:51,935
Julia and Kady, they said
you did terrible things.
799
00:35:52,004 --> 00:35:53,837
I should've looked you up on the spot.
800
00:35:53,906 --> 00:35:56,707
You didn't because I
gently suggested you don't.
801
00:35:56,775 --> 00:35:58,375
It's for your own good, kid.
802
00:35:58,444 --> 00:36:00,344
So it's all true.
803
00:36:00,412 --> 00:36:01,945
- Those poor women.
- [chuckles]
804
00:36:02,014 --> 00:36:03,714
Those women were hardly victims.
805
00:36:03,782 --> 00:36:06,216
They said they were just
trying to summon a little help
806
00:36:06,285 --> 00:36:07,484
from some kind of goddess...
807
00:36:07,553 --> 00:36:10,754
They were summoning an evil bitch!
808
00:36:10,823 --> 00:36:12,789
You looked me up, says trickster.
809
00:36:12,858 --> 00:36:14,291
See, that's honest.
810
00:36:14,360 --> 00:36:15,659
Yes, I fuck with the weak.
811
00:36:15,728 --> 00:36:17,327
You know what that does?
Improves the herd.
812
00:36:17,396 --> 00:36:20,063
I help the same little creatures
you want to help.
813
00:36:20,132 --> 00:36:21,732
It's not surprising, you're my son,
814
00:36:21,800 --> 00:36:23,600
how else could it be but her?
815
00:36:23,669 --> 00:36:26,403
The benevolent "Our Lady Underground."
816
00:36:26,472 --> 00:36:28,071
It is all about her.
817
00:36:28,140 --> 00:36:32,075
Power, attention, grinding men
and gods into the fucking dirt
818
00:36:32,144 --> 00:36:34,077
and then she leaves!
819
00:36:43,689 --> 00:36:47,491
- You loved her.
- [laughs]
820
00:36:47,559 --> 00:36:50,861
Guess there's some things
you can't control, after all.
821
00:36:51,930 --> 00:36:54,698
I can see you're upset.
822
00:36:54,767 --> 00:36:56,533
But I need you to move past that.
823
00:36:56,602 --> 00:36:59,169
Stop worrying about humans.
824
00:36:59,238 --> 00:37:00,871
They're beneath you.
825
00:37:00,939 --> 00:37:03,674
This is your birthright, son.
826
00:37:03,742 --> 00:37:05,442
We're gonna do so much together.
827
00:37:05,511 --> 00:37:09,313
[ominous music]
828
00:37:09,381 --> 00:37:11,415
How'd you do it? You know, turn me back?
829
00:37:11,483 --> 00:37:13,116
A special Fillorian mint.
830
00:37:13,185 --> 00:37:15,786
And about 50 straight minutes
of casting,
831
00:37:15,854 --> 00:37:18,955
so I'm gonna need a minute to recharge.
832
00:37:19,024 --> 00:37:22,025
You sure you don't want
any clothes, or...
833
00:37:22,094 --> 00:37:23,527
Eh.
834
00:37:23,595 --> 00:37:24,715
Can't you get Margo to help?
835
00:37:24,763 --> 00:37:26,163
You know, give you a break?
836
00:37:26,231 --> 00:37:28,198
I kind of threw her in the dungeon.
837
00:37:28,267 --> 00:37:29,599
Got ya.
838
00:37:29,668 --> 00:37:31,568
Well, you'll run yourself dead,
839
00:37:31,637 --> 00:37:32,757
doing everything on your own.
840
00:37:32,805 --> 00:37:34,171
Believe me, I know.
841
00:37:34,239 --> 00:37:36,973
Pass some shit down the chain
to the governors
842
00:37:37,042 --> 00:37:41,812
or the dukes or whatever.
843
00:37:41,880 --> 00:37:44,381
You don't have any governors?
844
00:37:44,450 --> 00:37:45,949
No dukes?
845
00:37:46,018 --> 00:37:49,453
- Get you some delegates, son.
- Right, really good idea.
846
00:37:49,521 --> 00:37:51,988
Select governors.
847
00:37:52,057 --> 00:37:53,957
Yet another task for the High King.
848
00:37:54,026 --> 00:37:56,626
Or you just hold an election.
849
00:37:56,695 --> 00:38:00,731
Let the people pick their own,
you do nada.
850
00:38:00,799 --> 00:38:02,132
- That's...
- Stupid, is it stupid?
851
00:38:02,201 --> 00:38:03,900
- I'm sorry.
- Brilliant, Josh.
852
00:38:03,969 --> 00:38:06,803
I think you just invented democracy,
853
00:38:06,872 --> 00:38:08,672
and it's going to save Fillory.
854
00:38:08,741 --> 00:38:11,274
Well, high five, brother.
855
00:38:11,343 --> 00:38:14,544
[techno music]
856
00:38:14,613 --> 00:38:15,779
[coughs]
857
00:38:15,848 --> 00:38:19,116
- Eliot?
- What the hell?
858
00:38:20,953 --> 00:38:24,321
Dude, I thought you were
off being, like,
859
00:38:24,390 --> 00:38:26,490
the High King of Fillory?
860
00:38:26,558 --> 00:38:28,859
I am.
861
00:38:28,927 --> 00:38:31,528
I was.
862
00:38:31,597 --> 00:38:33,932
I think I just got kicked out.
863
00:38:43,778 --> 00:38:45,945
Of course her book is relocated
864
00:38:45,980 --> 00:38:48,114
to the Poison Room.
865
00:38:48,149 --> 00:38:49,482
Okay.
866
00:38:49,517 --> 00:38:51,350
So what's our next move?
867
00:38:51,386 --> 00:38:52,919
Admit I'm fucking cursed?
868
00:38:52,954 --> 00:38:53,920
Is this all you guys do?
869
00:38:53,955 --> 00:38:55,354
Talk about your fee-fees?
870
00:38:55,390 --> 00:38:57,823
I was kind of hoping
you'd get to fucking.
871
00:38:57,859 --> 00:38:59,192
How did you...
872
00:38:59,227 --> 00:39:01,894
Oh, hopped into your mind
when you hopped into hers.
873
00:39:01,930 --> 00:39:03,462
It's a little trick
my dad's friends taught me.
874
00:39:03,498 --> 00:39:06,532
Your dad's friends are perverts?
875
00:39:06,568 --> 00:39:08,167
Thugs. Magic mobsters.
876
00:39:08,203 --> 00:39:09,268
- No, they're not.
- Jesus.
877
00:39:09,304 --> 00:39:10,536
Which is why I'm leaving.
878
00:39:10,572 --> 00:39:12,738
- So's Willow.
- Meadow, doofus.
879
00:39:12,774 --> 00:39:13,739
Fine, kick me out.
880
00:39:13,775 --> 00:39:15,341
You really don't need my help.
881
00:39:15,376 --> 00:39:16,676
Help with what?
882
00:39:16,711 --> 00:39:19,245
Trying to break into the Poison Room.
883
00:39:19,280 --> 00:39:21,847
I've been in your crappy Nolan
movie for, like, 20 minutes.
884
00:39:21,883 --> 00:39:23,282
I heard everything.
885
00:39:23,318 --> 00:39:24,817
Been trying to get in there
myself, 'cause, you know,
886
00:39:24,852 --> 00:39:26,586
I'm curious about a few things.
887
00:39:26,621 --> 00:39:28,554
So you can either start from
square one on your own,
888
00:39:28,590 --> 00:39:31,791
or you can hop the line and join...
889
00:39:33,328 --> 00:39:35,194
Well, the pervy mob girl has a point.
890
00:39:35,230 --> 00:39:37,330
No. It's dangerous.
891
00:39:37,365 --> 00:39:39,899
You know what's safe? Nothing.
892
00:39:39,934 --> 00:39:41,467
You're not responsible for me, okay?
893
00:39:41,502 --> 00:39:45,037
Free will, I exercise that shit.
894
00:39:45,073 --> 00:39:46,138
I'm gonna hate this.
895
00:39:46,174 --> 00:39:47,573
You hate everything.
896
00:39:47,609 --> 00:39:49,875
That's why I like you.
897
00:39:49,911 --> 00:39:52,478
Kady. Kady!
898
00:39:52,513 --> 00:39:54,447
Kady, wake up.
899
00:39:57,185 --> 00:39:58,918
- Kady.
- Hey.
900
00:39:58,953 --> 00:40:02,421
- What?
- Hey, you, uh, you got a guest.
901
00:40:03,725 --> 00:40:06,626
Professor Lipson told me
to bring him here.
902
00:40:10,365 --> 00:40:12,832
If you're still after Reynard,
903
00:40:12,867 --> 00:40:14,800
I want in.
904
00:40:17,472 --> 00:40:19,405
[door rattling]
905
00:40:19,440 --> 00:40:20,539
Eliot?
906
00:40:20,575 --> 00:40:23,075
[door opens]
907
00:40:23,111 --> 00:40:24,577
Oh, you.
908
00:40:24,612 --> 00:40:27,513
I shouldn't be here, but...
909
00:40:29,651 --> 00:40:32,184
Please. Your Majesty.
910
00:40:32,220 --> 00:40:34,787
- Be careful.
- So not a nice scotch, then?
911
00:40:34,822 --> 00:40:39,158
It will transport you
to the fairy realm.
912
00:40:39,193 --> 00:40:42,561
I must warn you, few return.
913
00:40:42,597 --> 00:40:45,898
But it is a chance to save Fen,
914
00:40:45,933 --> 00:40:48,234
the baby.
915
00:40:48,269 --> 00:40:49,802
I would go, but...
916
00:40:49,837 --> 00:40:52,305
You're a pussy who's in love
with a sloth,
917
00:40:52,340 --> 00:40:54,640
who's currently a rat.
918
00:40:54,676 --> 00:40:58,577
And end of the day,
it's my mess to clean up.
919
00:40:58,613 --> 00:41:00,646
Tell Eliot that.
920
00:41:00,682 --> 00:41:03,783
[dramatic music]
921
00:41:03,818 --> 00:41:07,787
♪ ♪
922
00:41:07,822 --> 00:41:10,423
[glass shatters]
923
00:41:10,458 --> 00:41:12,425
Q, it's time.
924
00:41:14,429 --> 00:41:16,529
This is it.
925
00:41:16,564 --> 00:41:18,197
It's who I couldn't make the math work.
926
00:41:18,232 --> 00:41:19,432
What math?
927
00:41:19,467 --> 00:41:21,067
Uh, the spell to bring Alice back.
928
00:41:21,102 --> 00:41:23,302
I knew something was missing,
I just didn't know...
929
00:41:23,338 --> 00:41:27,340
It was me.
930
00:41:27,375 --> 00:41:29,075
You have to go now.
931
00:41:29,110 --> 00:41:31,077
There's a portal in there,
932
00:41:31,112 --> 00:41:32,978
back to reception.
933
00:41:33,014 --> 00:41:35,281
And I'm glad we got to say good-bye.
934
00:41:35,316 --> 00:41:37,116
[sighs]
935
00:41:38,786 --> 00:41:41,554
Um, I'm gonna be back here
for good one day,
936
00:41:41,589 --> 00:41:44,957
and I am going to find you.
937
00:41:48,963 --> 00:41:50,496
Okay.
938
00:41:50,531 --> 00:41:53,499
[sentimental music]
939
00:41:53,534 --> 00:41:59,939
♪ ♪
940
00:41:59,974 --> 00:42:01,273
You first.
941
00:42:01,309 --> 00:42:08,447
♪ ♪
942
00:42:15,523 --> 00:42:16,789
[elevator dings]
943
00:42:20,995 --> 00:42:23,896
- Jules, what the hell?
- This isn't up for debate.
944
00:42:23,931 --> 00:42:25,431
We came here so that you could...
945
00:42:25,466 --> 00:42:27,433
Yeah? So?
946
00:42:27,468 --> 00:42:29,435
Things change.
947
00:42:29,470 --> 00:42:31,103
- If you do this...
- I know.
948
00:42:31,139 --> 00:42:32,972
This is my one shot.
949
00:42:33,007 --> 00:42:34,740
And this is what I want to do with it.
950
00:42:34,776 --> 00:42:36,709
I found them! Stop!
951
00:42:36,744 --> 00:42:38,010
Come on, or we'll lose her, too.
952
00:42:38,045 --> 00:42:39,412
You can't take that Shade!
953
00:42:39,447 --> 00:42:41,480
- [tense music]
- Hey! Stop!
954
00:42:41,516 --> 00:42:44,016
It's all going to be okay, Quentin.
955
00:42:44,051 --> 00:42:49,051
Sync & corrections by honeybunny
WEB-DL resync by kinglouisxx
www.addic7ed.com
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