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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:18,801 --> 00:00:23,801 Subtitles by explosiveskull 2 00:04:42,113 --> 00:04:43,548 Hey, Lucky, how you doing? 3 00:04:43,815 --> 00:04:45,317 You're nothing. 4 00:04:45,783 --> 00:04:47,319 You're nothing. 5 00:04:47,519 --> 00:04:48,987 Thank you. 6 00:04:54,660 --> 00:04:56,360 Good morning, sweetheart. 7 00:04:56,362 --> 00:04:57,428 Hi, doll. 8 00:04:57,430 --> 00:05:00,300 Plenty of cream and sugar, just like you like it. 9 00:05:06,504 --> 00:05:07,572 Perfect. 10 00:05:13,612 --> 00:05:15,348 Lucky! 11 00:05:15,880 --> 00:05:16,948 Oh, God. 12 00:05:17,516 --> 00:05:19,319 Those things are gonna kill you. 13 00:05:19,584 --> 00:05:21,118 If they could've, they would've. 14 00:06:04,930 --> 00:06:07,029 - All right, see you. - Oh, okay. 15 00:06:07,031 --> 00:06:10,370 Okay. Bye, Lucky. See you, Joe. 16 00:06:11,437 --> 00:06:12,672 What you stuck on now? 17 00:06:14,906 --> 00:06:21,680 Uh, seven-letter word for augur, A-U-G-U-R. 18 00:06:27,084 --> 00:06:28,487 I know. 19 00:06:28,987 --> 00:06:30,156 Go on, honey. 20 00:06:30,788 --> 00:06:32,055 Portend. 21 00:06:32,057 --> 00:06:35,492 Portend. P-O-R-T-E-N-D. 22 00:06:35,494 --> 00:06:37,029 That's it. Thank you, dear. 23 00:06:37,596 --> 00:06:38,663 Give me that. 24 00:06:40,598 --> 00:06:41,798 Well, this is easy. 25 00:06:41,800 --> 00:06:44,737 I mean, what you gonna do when you get the Sunday puzzle? 26 00:06:45,504 --> 00:06:46,705 Give me another. 27 00:06:48,973 --> 00:06:54,180 All right, a three-letter word for asshole starting with a "J"? 28 00:06:56,648 --> 00:06:59,852 Clever... very clever. 29 00:08:08,019 --> 00:08:09,621 Cunts! 30 00:08:17,896 --> 00:08:19,628 Buenos dias, Lucky. 31 00:08:19,630 --> 00:08:20,799 Buenos dias. 32 00:08:46,758 --> 00:08:48,123 How are you today? 33 00:08:48,125 --> 00:08:49,661 So far, so good. 34 00:08:52,965 --> 00:08:54,263 Who's that again? 35 00:08:54,265 --> 00:08:56,900 That's my youngest son, Juan. 36 00:08:56,902 --> 00:08:59,572 Oh yeah, yeah, that's John, in English. 37 00:09:00,138 --> 00:09:02,774 Like John Wayne. Juan Wayne. 38 00:09:03,908 --> 00:09:06,276 He's gonna be ten on Saturday. 39 00:09:06,278 --> 00:09:07,377 Oh, that's great. 40 00:09:07,379 --> 00:09:09,014 It's his birthday. 41 00:09:10,048 --> 00:09:12,217 Well, I gotta go. My shows are on. 42 00:09:21,860 --> 00:09:23,792 Juan Wayne. 43 00:09:23,794 --> 00:09:25,197 Juan Wayne. 44 00:09:29,900 --> 00:09:31,968 Go ahead and tell us about yourself. 45 00:09:31,970 --> 00:09:34,003 Hi, I'm Stephanie Moreno! 46 00:09:34,005 --> 00:09:36,973 I'm from Pueblo, Colorado, and I'm here to make some money! 47 00:09:36,975 --> 00:09:38,874 Hi, I'm David Mulbec. 48 00:09:38,876 --> 00:09:41,179 I'm from Chicago, and I'm here to make some money! 49 00:09:41,947 --> 00:09:44,079 Hi, I'm Marlene Moscavitz... 50 00:09:44,081 --> 00:09:46,985 Ann Arbor, Michigan, and I'm here to make some money! 51 00:09:48,854 --> 00:09:51,121 Join us and find out who's gonna walk away... 52 00:09:51,123 --> 00:09:54,257 with a brand, new car on, Take a Guess. 53 00:09:54,259 --> 00:09:55,791 Have you been turned down... 54 00:09:55,793 --> 00:09:57,026 for life insurance? If you are... 55 00:09:57,028 --> 00:09:59,028 They always yell at ya'. 56 00:09:59,030 --> 00:10:00,665 You can obtain full-term li... 57 00:10:13,745 --> 00:10:15,114 Oh, shit. 58 00:10:37,001 --> 00:10:39,304 Is realism a thing? 59 00:10:41,972 --> 00:10:43,908 Okay, so it's a thing, huh? 60 00:10:44,341 --> 00:10:47,980 All right, and that's ah, seven letters. 61 00:10:50,182 --> 00:10:51,817 Hold on a minute. 62 00:11:04,328 --> 00:11:07,432 Okay... "Realism, noun." 63 00:11:08,299 --> 00:11:12,167 "The attitude or practice of accepting a situation 64 00:11:12,169 --> 00:11:16,841 as it is and being prepared to deal with it accordingly." 65 00:11:18,342 --> 00:11:19,745 Now the other one. 66 00:11:20,846 --> 00:11:25,013 "The quality or fact representing a person, thing, 67 00:11:25,015 --> 00:11:30,956 or situation accurately or in a way that is true to life. 68 00:11:41,399 --> 00:11:44,166 I always thought that what we all agreed on 69 00:11:44,168 --> 00:11:47,137 was what we were looking at, but that's bullshit, 70 00:11:47,139 --> 00:11:49,841 because what I see is not necessarily what you see. 71 00:11:55,846 --> 00:11:57,216 Realism. 72 00:11:58,250 --> 00:12:03,121 R-E-A-L-I... 73 00:12:03,788 --> 00:12:05,924 That's it. That's some heavy shit. 74 00:12:08,092 --> 00:12:09,461 She's gonna blow it. 75 00:12:12,831 --> 00:12:14,164 The Dark Ages? 76 00:12:14,166 --> 00:12:15,465 No, I'm sorry. 77 00:12:15,467 --> 00:12:18,303 The answer you're looking for is "the Renaissance." 78 00:12:19,336 --> 00:12:22,441 You blew it, honey. There goes your fucking Buick. 79 00:12:28,145 --> 00:12:31,817 Okay, pal. Goodbye, I'll talk to you later. 80 00:12:45,897 --> 00:12:49,068 Now you know me, I don't like to cause a scene. 81 00:12:49,934 --> 00:12:52,403 Hey, fuck you, I don't. 82 00:12:53,171 --> 00:12:56,873 So that night, I decided to have a coming-to-God meeting. 83 00:12:56,875 --> 00:13:00,310 I locked the front door and sent everybody back into the kitchen. 84 00:13:00,312 --> 00:13:03,412 Took down my Saturday Night Special over there. 85 00:13:03,414 --> 00:13:06,482 And I said, "Gentlemen, if you want to fuck me... 86 00:13:06,484 --> 00:13:10,322 and I know you do, you should buy me dinner first." 87 00:13:10,989 --> 00:13:14,125 Then I drew that peace-maker... 88 00:13:14,625 --> 00:13:17,295 two rounds in the ceiling and I said, 89 00:13:18,363 --> 00:13:23,936 "I know that all of you are stealing from me. 90 00:13:26,471 --> 00:13:30,042 Just. Don't. Get. Greedy." 91 00:13:32,143 --> 00:13:34,980 And I've been in the black ever since. 92 00:13:37,782 --> 00:13:40,382 I see her standing there, the room was filled with gun smoke. 93 00:13:40,384 --> 00:13:43,556 And everyone's just shitting their goddamn pants. 94 00:13:44,355 --> 00:13:46,589 I tell you, the sexiest thing I'd ever seen. 95 00:13:46,591 --> 00:13:49,459 I wooed him with my feminine charm. 96 00:13:49,461 --> 00:13:51,430 Nothing but class with this one. 97 00:13:52,931 --> 00:13:54,464 Charmed. 98 00:13:54,466 --> 00:13:56,435 You were good to Momma last night. 99 00:13:57,369 --> 00:13:59,538 Lucky! Bloody Maria? 100 00:14:00,004 --> 00:14:01,139 Por favor. 101 00:14:01,972 --> 00:14:04,406 - Lucky! - Hey, Paulie. 102 00:14:04,408 --> 00:14:05,977 What's the good word? 103 00:14:07,312 --> 00:14:10,146 Realism is a thing. 104 00:14:10,148 --> 00:14:11,951 Oh yeah? How do you mean? 105 00:14:12,350 --> 00:14:17,056 It's the practice of accepting a situation as it is... 106 00:14:18,355 --> 00:14:23,292 and being prepared to deal with it accordingly. 107 00:14:23,294 --> 00:14:27,363 So what you're saying is, "What you see is what you get." 108 00:14:27,365 --> 00:14:30,532 But what you see is not what I get. 109 00:14:30,534 --> 00:14:32,103 Okay. 110 00:14:36,674 --> 00:14:38,509 - Elaine! - What? 111 00:14:39,043 --> 00:14:41,145 - Realism is a thing. - What? 112 00:14:42,346 --> 00:14:45,216 - Realism. - Here we go again. 113 00:14:46,150 --> 00:14:48,887 Vincent, hand me my gun. 114 00:14:49,386 --> 00:14:50,652 Easy, partner. 115 00:14:50,654 --> 00:14:52,891 You're a misdemeanor fucking with a felony. 116 00:15:01,399 --> 00:15:02,967 Hey, Howard. 117 00:15:03,168 --> 00:15:04,503 Howie, what are you drinking? 118 00:15:04,702 --> 00:15:06,572 Something strong. 119 00:15:09,039 --> 00:15:11,142 What's the matter, Howard? 120 00:15:11,576 --> 00:15:13,309 President Roosevelt escaped. 121 00:15:13,311 --> 00:15:15,681 - What are you talking about? - Presidents. 122 00:15:16,246 --> 00:15:18,082 - Which one? - Roosevelt. 123 00:15:18,316 --> 00:15:19,317 Yeah, which one? 124 00:15:19,683 --> 00:15:23,685 No, my tortoise, President Roosevelt, he escaped. 125 00:15:23,687 --> 00:15:26,191 How does a hundred-year-old tortoise escape? 126 00:15:26,423 --> 00:15:29,257 I left the gate open when I went to check the mail. 127 00:15:29,259 --> 00:15:31,963 Where is your mailbox, Europe? 128 00:15:33,565 --> 00:15:35,701 I saw him eyeing that gate the other day. 129 00:15:36,634 --> 00:15:38,704 He had to have timed it out perfectly. 130 00:15:39,303 --> 00:15:41,206 I searched our entire neighborhood. 131 00:15:41,472 --> 00:15:43,442 Did you search your entire yard? 132 00:15:44,375 --> 00:15:47,075 Hey, we're talking about his best friend here! 133 00:15:47,077 --> 00:15:50,113 - Thank you, Lucky. - You're welcome, Howard. 134 00:15:50,115 --> 00:15:51,446 You're right, you're right, I'm sorry. 135 00:15:51,448 --> 00:15:53,117 We shouldn't make fun. 136 00:15:54,451 --> 00:15:58,389 I'm gonna miss him. He's outlived two of my wives. 137 00:16:00,392 --> 00:16:01,723 I'm going to the W.C. 138 00:16:01,725 --> 00:16:03,162 Okay, pal. 139 00:16:05,062 --> 00:16:06,365 You know, 140 00:16:07,231 --> 00:16:12,103 friendship between animals and humans is essential. 141 00:16:12,736 --> 00:16:17,375 And special. And friendship is essential to the soul. 142 00:16:20,177 --> 00:16:21,444 What? 143 00:16:21,446 --> 00:16:24,647 Friendship is essential to the soul. 144 00:16:24,649 --> 00:16:26,384 It doesn't exist! 145 00:16:27,317 --> 00:16:28,651 What, friendship? 146 00:16:28,653 --> 00:16:30,118 The soul! 147 00:16:30,120 --> 00:16:32,390 Hey, knucklehead, inside voices! 148 00:16:33,357 --> 00:16:36,124 Hey, you gonna let your woman talk to me that way? 149 00:16:36,126 --> 00:16:38,663 I'm not his woman. He's my man. 150 00:16:39,364 --> 00:16:40,762 As far as I'm concerned, 151 00:16:40,764 --> 00:16:43,235 he's just been renting a room for 30 years. 152 00:16:44,369 --> 00:16:46,772 - Sonny and Cher. - I'll drink to that. 153 00:16:47,172 --> 00:16:49,071 Hey, you know they got divorced. 154 00:16:49,073 --> 00:16:52,010 Good thing we never got married. 155 00:18:22,733 --> 00:18:25,103 Jesus Christ. 156 00:18:49,560 --> 00:18:52,530 Jesus! God, this thing. 157 00:18:53,664 --> 00:18:56,534 Can you... never mind. 158 00:18:58,936 --> 00:19:01,439 Oh God. Oh God. 159 00:19:03,607 --> 00:19:05,309 Oh, God. 160 00:19:06,644 --> 00:19:08,447 Why? 161 00:19:10,582 --> 00:19:12,648 Hey, buddy. How the hell are you doing? 162 00:19:12,650 --> 00:19:14,519 You tell me. 163 00:19:14,986 --> 00:19:20,726 Okay... 115 over 70, great. 164 00:19:20,959 --> 00:19:22,260 Thank you, Debbie. 165 00:19:27,632 --> 00:19:29,935 No broken bones. That's good. 166 00:19:30,701 --> 00:19:33,905 CT scan was negative, no sign of concussion. 167 00:19:34,505 --> 00:19:37,672 Blood pressure is good, heart is great. 168 00:19:37,674 --> 00:19:41,180 Lungs are great, even though you smoke. How many packs a day? 169 00:19:41,479 --> 00:19:43,315 I don't know, maybe one. 170 00:19:43,513 --> 00:19:45,783 Well, I really have no explanation for that. 171 00:19:46,750 --> 00:19:49,584 It's a mystery, some sort of scientific anomaly. 172 00:19:49,586 --> 00:19:51,453 All I can figure is it's a combination... 173 00:19:51,455 --> 00:19:54,259 of genetic good luck and you're one tough son of a bitch. 174 00:19:54,726 --> 00:19:56,959 I would try to get you to quit smoking, 175 00:19:56,961 --> 00:19:59,495 but I'm afraid it would do you more harm than good. 176 00:19:59,497 --> 00:20:01,533 You're the only person I would say that to. 177 00:20:02,700 --> 00:20:04,236 So, that's it? 178 00:20:04,635 --> 00:20:07,803 To be clear, you were just standing there 179 00:20:07,805 --> 00:20:09,404 and you got light-headed? 180 00:20:09,406 --> 00:20:10,672 I didn't get light-headed. 181 00:20:10,674 --> 00:20:11,806 So you just fell down? 182 00:20:11,808 --> 00:20:13,979 Yeah. It was weird. 183 00:20:15,980 --> 00:20:19,015 Well, I'll wait for these lab tests to come back 184 00:20:19,017 --> 00:20:21,420 and then I'll let you know about that. 185 00:20:22,353 --> 00:20:23,753 That's it? 186 00:20:23,755 --> 00:20:24,823 That's it. 187 00:20:25,056 --> 00:20:26,525 I'm not dying? 188 00:20:26,723 --> 00:20:28,891 When it comes to things like heart disease 189 00:20:28,893 --> 00:20:31,760 or cancer, at your age, if it was gonna kill you, it would've. 190 00:20:31,762 --> 00:20:32,862 So? 191 00:20:32,864 --> 00:20:34,930 Well, short of shooting you with a silver bullet... 192 00:20:34,932 --> 00:20:36,599 or stabbing you with a wooden stake... 193 00:20:36,601 --> 00:20:39,738 it seems the older you get, the longer you're gonna live. 194 00:20:40,305 --> 00:20:42,441 So, but why did I fall down? 195 00:20:43,607 --> 00:20:45,007 Were you drunk? 196 00:20:45,009 --> 00:20:46,245 No. 197 00:20:46,443 --> 00:20:47,709 Do you get light-headed often? 198 00:20:47,711 --> 00:20:49,615 I don't get light-headed. 199 00:20:49,913 --> 00:20:51,616 Now do you get much exercise? 200 00:20:51,915 --> 00:20:53,682 Yeah, I walk around all the time. 201 00:20:53,684 --> 00:20:55,985 I do five yoga exercises every day... 202 00:20:55,987 --> 00:20:58,821 Twenty-one repetitions each, for years. 203 00:20:58,823 --> 00:21:00,623 Do your knees ever give out? 204 00:21:00,625 --> 00:21:01,759 No. 205 00:21:04,662 --> 00:21:06,461 I could do a lot more tests, 206 00:21:06,463 --> 00:21:08,096 but I think it's gonna turn out to be 207 00:21:08,098 --> 00:21:09,664 exactly what I think it is. 208 00:21:09,666 --> 00:21:10,766 What's that? 209 00:21:10,768 --> 00:21:13,005 You're old, and you're getting older. 210 00:21:13,938 --> 00:21:15,603 That's your diagnosis? 211 00:21:15,605 --> 00:21:16,905 It's all I got. 212 00:21:16,907 --> 00:21:18,943 Well, that's bullshit. 213 00:21:20,077 --> 00:21:22,478 The body is gonna break down at some point. 214 00:21:22,480 --> 00:21:24,447 As far as I know, nobody has lived forever. 215 00:21:24,449 --> 00:21:26,114 It's gonna happen to all of us. 216 00:21:26,116 --> 00:21:28,484 I can do more tests, but I don't want 217 00:21:28,486 --> 00:21:30,819 to do that and you don't want to have it done. 218 00:21:30,821 --> 00:21:32,890 So what am I supposed to do? 219 00:21:33,990 --> 00:21:36,859 At this point, I think it might be a good idea 220 00:21:36,861 --> 00:21:38,928 to get an assisted living person hooked up. 221 00:21:38,930 --> 00:21:40,363 A what? 222 00:21:40,365 --> 00:21:41,831 Assisted living. They come by, 223 00:21:41,833 --> 00:21:44,467 and they help you cook meals, help you bathe. 224 00:21:44,469 --> 00:21:47,836 Oh, I don't know, I'm on my own. 225 00:21:47,838 --> 00:21:49,671 You never get lonely being alone? 226 00:21:49,673 --> 00:21:53,878 There is a difference between being lonely and alone. 227 00:21:55,546 --> 00:21:58,480 You know, I saw this happen with my father. 228 00:21:58,482 --> 00:21:59,782 He started to lose his eyesight, 229 00:21:59,784 --> 00:22:01,520 and with it his ability to drive. 230 00:22:01,986 --> 00:22:03,986 It wasn't getting older that bothered him, 231 00:22:03,988 --> 00:22:06,756 it was the loss of his freedom, his mobility. 232 00:22:06,758 --> 00:22:08,790 It's all fine as long as you realize 233 00:22:08,792 --> 00:22:10,528 it's all part of the process. 234 00:22:12,630 --> 00:22:14,529 Well, how is your old man? 235 00:22:14,531 --> 00:22:16,967 Oh, buddy, he died a year ago. 236 00:22:18,502 --> 00:22:20,105 Wow. 237 00:22:22,073 --> 00:22:23,809 It was peaceful. 238 00:22:29,713 --> 00:22:31,846 You know, most people don't get to where you are. 239 00:22:31,848 --> 00:22:34,549 They get hit by a bus or get leukemia or something. 240 00:22:34,551 --> 00:22:37,620 They never get to the moment that you're in right now. 241 00:22:37,622 --> 00:22:40,021 We have the ability to witness what you're going through, 242 00:22:40,023 --> 00:22:43,928 and clearly examine it and, more importantly, to accept it. 243 00:22:44,828 --> 00:22:47,430 I know that's kind of heavy for this hour of the morning 244 00:22:47,432 --> 00:22:49,498 but you're in exceptional health for a person your age, 245 00:22:49,500 --> 00:22:51,065 and if you need anything whatsoever, 246 00:22:51,067 --> 00:22:53,471 you call me or you just come by. 247 00:22:54,172 --> 00:22:55,207 Okay. 248 00:22:56,507 --> 00:22:59,544 You've been very good today, so you get one of these. 249 00:23:00,611 --> 00:23:02,948 What do I do with this, stick it up my ass? 250 00:23:04,048 --> 00:23:05,884 How about you just suck it? 251 00:23:24,035 --> 00:23:25,670 Oh, boy. 252 00:23:57,567 --> 00:23:58,804 You're nothing! 253 00:24:02,073 --> 00:24:03,675 Yeah. 254 00:24:24,528 --> 00:24:26,261 Everyday with this guy. 255 00:24:26,263 --> 00:24:28,930 Kneedler said it was all right for me to smoke. 256 00:24:28,932 --> 00:24:33,001 Not in here. And when did Kneedler ever say that? 257 00:24:33,003 --> 00:24:34,536 This morning. 258 00:24:34,538 --> 00:24:36,775 Oh, you know, I was getting a little worried. 259 00:24:37,541 --> 00:24:40,744 Bet you was getting that prostate checked. 260 00:24:41,612 --> 00:24:42,948 I fell. 261 00:24:45,016 --> 00:24:47,085 On my bony ass, I fell. 262 00:24:53,924 --> 00:24:57,092 - Are you okay? - That's subjective. 263 00:24:57,094 --> 00:25:00,198 Pam! Loretta! Lucky fell down! 264 00:25:00,998 --> 00:25:03,599 Let's not make a production out of it! 265 00:25:03,601 --> 00:25:05,066 Well, what did Kneedler say? 266 00:25:05,068 --> 00:25:06,738 He said I'm old. 267 00:25:07,337 --> 00:25:08,737 And that's news to you? 268 00:25:08,739 --> 00:25:09,975 Did he give you anything? 269 00:25:10,340 --> 00:25:13,043 I don't know, man, it's all bullshit. 270 00:25:13,644 --> 00:25:15,113 Wait, where you going? 271 00:25:48,112 --> 00:25:49,748 Cunts! 272 00:25:58,055 --> 00:26:00,759 - Buenos dias. - Buenos dias. 273 00:26:01,726 --> 00:26:03,895 Give me three packs today, honey. 274 00:26:14,005 --> 00:26:15,941 Here you go, keep the change. 275 00:26:20,377 --> 00:26:22,079 Are you okay? 276 00:26:22,278 --> 00:26:23,781 I don't know. 277 00:26:27,018 --> 00:26:30,288 You know, Juan Wayne's birthday is on Saturday. 278 00:26:30,820 --> 00:26:31,920 Oh, yeah? 279 00:26:31,922 --> 00:26:35,993 We're gonna have a big fiesta, with a bouncy house, 280 00:26:36,426 --> 00:26:38,929 pinata, mariachis, and lots of food. 281 00:26:40,364 --> 00:26:42,067 Mariachis, huh? 282 00:26:46,336 --> 00:26:47,872 Do you want to come? 283 00:26:49,173 --> 00:26:50,808 To the fiesta? 284 00:26:51,275 --> 00:26:52,777 Saturday. 285 00:26:54,244 --> 00:26:55,844 And where is it? 286 00:26:55,846 --> 00:27:00,248 It's at my home. You know where the school is? 287 00:27:00,250 --> 00:27:01,284 Yeah. 288 00:27:01,286 --> 00:27:03,355 It's the yellow house right behind the school. 289 00:27:03,753 --> 00:27:05,022 Oh, yeah. 290 00:27:06,123 --> 00:27:10,092 Well, let's keep it on the burner, okay? 291 00:27:10,094 --> 00:27:12,029 Okay. 292 00:27:12,829 --> 00:27:15,232 Gracias. Adios. 293 00:27:15,932 --> 00:27:18,836 And now we're bringing it over to you, Lisa. 294 00:27:19,470 --> 00:27:20,872 What is the answer to the question? 295 00:27:21,971 --> 00:27:26,744 Is it April 16, 1746, the Battle of Culloden? 296 00:27:27,044 --> 00:27:29,044 The answer to that question... 297 00:27:29,046 --> 00:27:31,113 we'll have to wait until tomorrow. 298 00:27:31,115 --> 00:27:32,448 Thank you for joining us... 299 00:27:32,450 --> 00:27:35,754 and we'll see you all tomorrow on Make a Guess. 300 00:28:38,382 --> 00:28:40,218 Hey, man, how you doing? 301 00:28:43,887 --> 00:28:45,089 Okay. 302 00:28:46,790 --> 00:28:50,392 Hey, uh, I was just thinking about something... 303 00:28:50,394 --> 00:28:52,430 I wanted to share with you, man. 304 00:28:55,132 --> 00:28:58,400 You got a minute? Yeah. 305 00:28:58,402 --> 00:29:03,107 When I was a kid living in Kentucky, I had this BB gun. 306 00:29:04,174 --> 00:29:05,844 It didn't shoot straight. 307 00:29:07,978 --> 00:29:11,950 So I was out one day shooting at things, trees, leaves. 308 00:29:14,417 --> 00:29:19,156 And there was a mockingbird up in a tree singing his heart out. 309 00:29:21,858 --> 00:29:23,093 And... 310 00:29:24,327 --> 00:29:28,398 I aimed my gun just to scare him away, pulled the trigger... 311 00:29:30,934 --> 00:29:33,104 and the singing stopped. 312 00:29:36,941 --> 00:29:40,111 It was the saddest moment in my whole life. 313 00:29:42,880 --> 00:29:48,286 The silence it cast in the world was devastating. 314 00:29:55,859 --> 00:29:59,830 I haven't thought about that bird since I was a kid. 315 00:30:04,134 --> 00:30:05,470 I know. 316 00:30:08,505 --> 00:30:10,108 All right. 317 00:30:11,875 --> 00:30:13,310 Thanks, man. 318 00:30:50,013 --> 00:30:51,915 You been watching Deal or no Deal? 319 00:30:53,116 --> 00:30:55,249 Are you kidding, it makes no sense. 320 00:30:55,251 --> 00:30:58,152 Come on, man, you gotta give it a second chance. 321 00:30:58,154 --> 00:31:02,990 It is... Listen, listen, check it out. 322 00:31:02,992 --> 00:31:09,030 You start with 50 briefcases, right, held by 50 hot chicks. 323 00:31:09,032 --> 00:31:13,035 Right? And inside each briefcase, all 50, 324 00:31:13,037 --> 00:31:16,037 is a number and that number is how much money 325 00:31:16,039 --> 00:31:19,474 you're gonna win if you open that case. 326 00:31:19,476 --> 00:31:22,177 So you choose one case at the beginning of the game 327 00:31:22,179 --> 00:31:24,578 that you're gonna open up at the end of the game. 328 00:31:24,580 --> 00:31:27,481 And then you systematically open up all the briefcases 329 00:31:27,483 --> 00:31:28,984 and the hot chicks show you 330 00:31:28,986 --> 00:31:30,419 how much money you could have won. 331 00:31:30,421 --> 00:31:33,121 And the whole time, there's this hidden guy 332 00:31:33,123 --> 00:31:34,555 and he's sitting off stage 333 00:31:34,557 --> 00:31:37,258 and he's offering to buy the case that you chose. 334 00:31:37,260 --> 00:31:38,693 So by the end of the game, 335 00:31:38,695 --> 00:31:41,462 you've opened up all the cases except two. 336 00:31:41,464 --> 00:31:43,967 And you have to decide whether to take the money 337 00:31:44,999 --> 00:31:47,035 from the hidden guy, the money that's already in your case 338 00:31:47,037 --> 00:31:49,004 or the case that you haven't chosen yet. 339 00:31:49,006 --> 00:31:51,006 But you don't know what's in your case... 340 00:31:51,008 --> 00:31:55,145 or the case you haven't chosen, until you actually open it. 341 00:31:56,446 --> 00:31:58,447 So a guy picks a case 342 00:31:58,449 --> 00:32:01,984 and I've gotta wait a fucking hour to see what's in it? 343 00:32:01,986 --> 00:32:03,388 Yeah. 344 00:32:04,387 --> 00:32:07,391 It's a convoluted piece of shit. 345 00:32:21,404 --> 00:32:24,241 Lucky, how you doing, buddy? 346 00:32:24,775 --> 00:32:27,078 I haven't a clue, man. 347 00:32:27,377 --> 00:32:29,010 Someone's in a mood. 348 00:32:29,012 --> 00:32:31,682 Leave him be. He'll snap out of it. Right, pal? 349 00:32:32,281 --> 00:32:34,351 - Two more cases? - Yeah, that'll do. 350 00:32:34,751 --> 00:32:37,651 - If you want, I can... - Watch me lift stuff? 351 00:32:37,653 --> 00:32:40,959 Can I help it if I have a strong mind, but a weak back? 352 00:32:42,558 --> 00:32:43,661 Sit. 353 00:32:52,368 --> 00:32:57,139 I know that look. Used to see it all the time. You know where? 354 00:32:57,141 --> 00:33:00,808 In the mirror, my reflection staring back at me. 355 00:33:00,810 --> 00:33:02,276 And then he met Elaine. 356 00:33:02,278 --> 00:33:04,115 Hey, who's telling the story? 357 00:33:04,515 --> 00:33:06,617 I'm sorry, but it hasn't exactly been un-told. 358 00:33:07,050 --> 00:33:10,117 I've told this? You've heard this before from me? When? 359 00:33:10,119 --> 00:33:12,522 All the time, that's when. I bet he's heard it, too. 360 00:33:12,789 --> 00:33:14,623 I've told this? You've heard this? 361 00:33:14,625 --> 00:33:17,191 Ungatz. 362 00:33:17,193 --> 00:33:20,030 Holy shit, that's right! Ungatz. 363 00:33:20,263 --> 00:33:22,232 Nothing. I was nothing. 364 00:33:22,432 --> 00:33:24,365 - You were a bum. - I was a bum. 365 00:33:24,367 --> 00:33:26,267 I had no plans. I had no ambitions. 366 00:33:26,269 --> 00:33:28,103 - A two-bit hustler. - That was me. 367 00:33:28,105 --> 00:33:29,673 - And you knew it. - I did. 368 00:33:30,106 --> 00:33:34,109 I'd look into the mirror and all I'd see was ungatz. 369 00:33:34,111 --> 00:33:36,014 I hated myself. 370 00:33:37,847 --> 00:33:40,684 - And then what happened? - You met Elaine. 371 00:33:41,184 --> 00:33:44,085 Jesus, I can't believe it, you really listen to me. 372 00:33:44,087 --> 00:33:47,122 That's amazing. 373 00:33:47,124 --> 00:33:51,093 Anyway, I met... I met this fantastic woman. 374 00:33:51,095 --> 00:33:55,663 And she met a bum, a deadbeat. Did she try to change me? No. 375 00:33:55,665 --> 00:33:58,535 Did she expect me to change myself? No. 376 00:33:58,801 --> 00:34:01,805 - She accepted me for who I was. - Who you are. 377 00:34:02,271 --> 00:34:06,309 Who I am. I'm still ungatz, nothing. 378 00:34:06,542 --> 00:34:11,081 But I've got everything. Isn't that something? 379 00:34:11,380 --> 00:34:13,115 Something for you. 380 00:34:13,117 --> 00:34:15,784 No, what I'm trying to say is, if this could happen, 381 00:34:15,786 --> 00:34:18,787 you know, to me, then it could happen to anyone. 382 00:34:18,789 --> 00:34:20,188 Even you. 383 00:34:20,190 --> 00:34:22,559 Bullshit. 384 00:34:37,407 --> 00:34:39,443 Jesus Christ. 385 00:34:39,775 --> 00:34:41,709 I think we can just get by 386 00:34:41,711 --> 00:34:44,378 with a will and a medical power of attorney. 387 00:34:44,380 --> 00:34:46,850 Howard, where have you been? I've been waiting for you. 388 00:34:48,619 --> 00:34:49,717 Who's this? 389 00:34:49,719 --> 00:34:53,223 Hey, Lucky. This here is my attorney Bobby Lawrence. 390 00:34:53,422 --> 00:34:55,225 Nice to meet you, Lucky. 391 00:34:56,492 --> 00:34:59,262 You know why sharks don't eat attorneys? 392 00:34:59,630 --> 00:35:01,195 Uh... 393 00:35:01,197 --> 00:35:03,100 Professional courtesy. 394 00:35:04,434 --> 00:35:07,405 Right, that's an oldie but a goodie. 395 00:35:08,905 --> 00:35:11,505 So did you come here to help find Roosevelt? 396 00:35:11,507 --> 00:35:14,208 No, he's here to help me with my plan. 397 00:35:14,210 --> 00:35:15,242 What plan? 398 00:35:15,244 --> 00:35:16,713 End-of-life plan. 399 00:35:17,313 --> 00:35:18,880 Are you dying? 400 00:35:18,882 --> 00:35:21,550 No, he's just preparing for the unexpected. 401 00:35:21,552 --> 00:35:23,221 What's unexpected? 402 00:35:24,922 --> 00:35:28,789 Well, I mean, none of us make it out of this thing alive. 403 00:35:28,791 --> 00:35:31,425 So, knowing that, it'd be a sin not to prepare 404 00:35:31,427 --> 00:35:33,196 for the well-being of your loved ones. 405 00:35:38,434 --> 00:35:40,702 What loved ones do you have, anyway? 406 00:35:40,704 --> 00:35:43,637 When I go, I want to leave all my possessions 407 00:35:43,639 --> 00:35:45,208 to President Roosevelt. 408 00:35:46,309 --> 00:35:48,242 Your turtle? 409 00:35:48,244 --> 00:35:50,612 - Well, you know, this might not - Tortoise! 410 00:35:50,614 --> 00:35:53,682 And he's still got at least 100 years left in him. 411 00:35:53,684 --> 00:35:55,416 A hundred years? 412 00:35:55,418 --> 00:35:56,885 Yeah. 413 00:35:56,887 --> 00:35:58,686 You know, Lucky, you remind me... 414 00:35:58,688 --> 00:36:00,423 Shut the fuck up! 415 00:36:07,597 --> 00:36:09,233 Okay. 416 00:36:17,807 --> 00:36:19,777 Didn't Roosevelt just run away? 417 00:36:20,610 --> 00:36:24,481 Yeah, but this is for, you know, when he comes back. 418 00:36:25,414 --> 00:36:26,981 Is he a homing turtle? 419 00:36:26,983 --> 00:36:28,849 Tortoise. And no, he's not. 420 00:36:28,851 --> 00:36:32,389 He's gone, Howard, and you're all alone. 421 00:36:32,623 --> 00:36:35,557 We come in alone, and we go out alone. 422 00:36:35,559 --> 00:36:36,858 That's awfully bleak. 423 00:36:36,860 --> 00:36:40,494 It's beautiful. 424 00:36:40,496 --> 00:36:44,365 "Alone" comes from two words, all-one. 425 00:36:44,367 --> 00:36:45,867 It's in the dictionary. 426 00:36:45,869 --> 00:36:47,401 I miss him! 427 00:36:47,403 --> 00:36:49,806 It'll be okay, Howie. 428 00:36:50,007 --> 00:36:52,342 A tortoise is an amazing creature, Lucky. 429 00:36:52,775 --> 00:36:56,646 They're as noble as a king, and as kindhearted as a grandmother. 430 00:36:57,313 --> 00:37:02,316 I miss my friend, his company. I miss his personality. 431 00:37:02,318 --> 00:37:04,686 He's not missing, Howard. He's just not here. 432 00:37:04,688 --> 00:37:06,920 He's there, wherever the fuck that is. 433 00:37:06,922 --> 00:37:09,490 And if he's not there, then he's nowhere. 434 00:37:09,492 --> 00:37:11,559 Well, I'm sure he's okay. 435 00:37:11,561 --> 00:37:13,427 Why don't you go fuck yourself? 436 00:37:13,429 --> 00:37:14,498 Oh! 437 00:37:15,731 --> 00:37:17,634 You don't give a shit about him. You're here to suck him dry. 438 00:37:19,036 --> 00:37:21,771 You lamprey, leach, vulture. 439 00:37:22,405 --> 00:37:24,338 Con him out of his last dime, 440 00:37:24,340 --> 00:37:26,074 just to leave everything to a turtle. 441 00:37:26,076 --> 00:37:28,945 Tortoise! He's a tortoise! 442 00:37:29,679 --> 00:37:31,845 You know that saguaro near your yard? 443 00:37:31,847 --> 00:37:34,784 That thing was barely a twig when Roosevelt was born. 444 00:37:35,351 --> 00:37:37,017 They're contemporaries, you know? 445 00:37:37,019 --> 00:37:38,889 They watched each other grow up. 446 00:37:41,590 --> 00:37:45,059 President Roosevelt was born in a hole in the desert. 447 00:37:45,061 --> 00:37:47,797 At that time, a little creature smaller than my thumb. 448 00:37:48,998 --> 00:37:52,400 And something clicked inside that little Roosevelt brain, 449 00:37:52,402 --> 00:37:56,307 and he scampered up out of that hole and faced the world. 450 00:37:57,907 --> 00:38:00,310 You all think of a tortoise as something slow. 451 00:38:01,010 --> 00:38:04,282 But I think about the burden he has to carry on his back. 452 00:38:05,081 --> 00:38:07,414 Yeah, it's for protection. 453 00:38:07,416 --> 00:38:11,288 But ultimately, it's the coffin he's gonna get buried in 454 00:38:11,722 --> 00:38:15,026 and he has to drag that thing around his entire life? 455 00:38:16,126 --> 00:38:19,597 Go ahead and laugh, but he affected me. 456 00:38:20,764 --> 00:38:24,501 You know what I'm saying? He affected me. 457 00:38:24,967 --> 00:38:26,834 There are some things in this universe, 458 00:38:26,836 --> 00:38:29,371 ladies and gentlemen, that are bigger than all of us. 459 00:38:29,373 --> 00:38:32,342 And a tortoise is one of 'em! 460 00:38:45,054 --> 00:38:46,790 You asshole. 461 00:38:49,458 --> 00:38:52,025 I want to teach you a lesson. 462 00:38:52,027 --> 00:38:54,564 Lucky! No fighting in my bar, goddamnit! 463 00:38:54,764 --> 00:38:56,398 Then we'll take it outside. 464 00:38:56,400 --> 00:38:57,668 Seriously, Lucky? 465 00:38:57,900 --> 00:39:01,838 You know, Mr... Mr. Lucky... I don't think... 466 00:39:02,105 --> 00:39:03,873 You don't think I can take you? 467 00:39:04,875 --> 00:39:07,909 I fought the fucking Japs! You don't think I can take you? 468 00:39:07,911 --> 00:39:11,048 No. I don't think it's a good idea... for you. 469 00:39:12,416 --> 00:39:15,820 Outside. Five minutes. Fisticuffs. 470 00:39:16,452 --> 00:39:18,556 - Lucky... - Five minutes! 471 00:39:20,956 --> 00:39:22,592 Lucky... 472 00:39:23,793 --> 00:39:24,961 Lucky! 473 00:39:31,134 --> 00:39:32,633 Is he coming out? 474 00:39:32,635 --> 00:39:35,470 Are you kidding? He doesn't wanna fight you. 475 00:39:35,472 --> 00:39:37,171 I wouldn't want to fight me, either, pal. 476 00:39:37,173 --> 00:39:41,443 Easy, Lash LaRue. Let him live this time, okay? 477 00:39:41,445 --> 00:39:44,711 Forty years ago, I wouldn't have given him a fuckin' option. 478 00:39:44,713 --> 00:39:47,784 Forty years ago, he'd a been in diapers. 479 00:39:49,652 --> 00:39:52,155 Forget about him! Okay? 480 00:39:53,989 --> 00:39:54,991 Okay. 481 00:40:07,637 --> 00:40:09,039 Where you going? 482 00:40:15,711 --> 00:40:17,148 Go home, Lucky. 483 00:40:32,762 --> 00:40:34,432 Paulie? 484 00:45:24,119 --> 00:45:25,722 Hey, there! 485 00:45:26,956 --> 00:45:28,291 How ya' doing? 486 00:45:29,458 --> 00:45:31,094 How did you get here? 487 00:45:31,894 --> 00:45:33,226 I... drove? 488 00:45:33,228 --> 00:45:34,961 How did you know where I live? 489 00:45:34,963 --> 00:45:37,333 - Everybody knows where you live. - They do? 490 00:45:37,800 --> 00:45:40,203 This is a tiny town. Don't you know where I live? 491 00:45:42,271 --> 00:45:43,507 Yeah, over by the church? 492 00:45:44,807 --> 00:45:45,943 There you go. 493 00:45:47,076 --> 00:45:49,112 So, what do you want? 494 00:45:49,813 --> 00:45:51,311 Well, I was worried about you 495 00:45:51,313 --> 00:45:53,182 so I thought I'd come by and check on you. 496 00:45:55,451 --> 00:45:59,056 You're welcome. Nice outfit there, cowboy. 497 00:46:04,393 --> 00:46:06,329 Thanks for coming by. 498 00:46:20,443 --> 00:46:24,345 Jesus Christ. How'd you get in here? I thought you'd left. 499 00:46:24,347 --> 00:46:27,518 I'm sorry, I knocked, the door was unlocked. 500 00:46:28,217 --> 00:46:29,886 You scared me to death. 501 00:46:33,623 --> 00:46:35,893 You were such a cute, little boy. 502 00:46:36,925 --> 00:46:41,931 Oh, and such a handsome young man in uniform. 503 00:46:45,400 --> 00:46:48,838 This photo at the beach, are these your kids? 504 00:46:49,304 --> 00:46:50,807 No. 505 00:46:52,375 --> 00:46:53,974 Were you ever married? 506 00:46:53,976 --> 00:46:57,181 No... were you? 507 00:46:58,914 --> 00:47:00,050 No. 508 00:47:03,186 --> 00:47:05,052 You got somewhere to be, sailor? 509 00:47:05,054 --> 00:47:06,856 Uh... no. 510 00:47:10,626 --> 00:47:12,295 Do you like game shows? 511 00:47:15,164 --> 00:47:16,834 Do you smoke grass? 512 00:47:20,670 --> 00:47:22,005 ♪ Hey ♪ 513 00:47:32,248 --> 00:47:34,217 This isn't a game show. 514 00:47:34,650 --> 00:47:35,885 It's ended. 515 00:47:39,088 --> 00:47:40,290 ♪ Hey ♪ 516 00:47:48,530 --> 00:47:52,436 This... he is amazing. Who is this? 517 00:47:52,969 --> 00:47:55,135 Liberace. Didn't you ever hear of him? 518 00:47:55,137 --> 00:47:59,610 Yes, I've heard of him, he's wonderful. 519 00:48:00,476 --> 00:48:03,244 I feel like such an asshole. 520 00:48:03,246 --> 00:48:05,615 When this guy first came on the scene, 521 00:48:06,682 --> 00:48:09,552 I wrote him off as just another extravagant fruit. 522 00:48:11,253 --> 00:48:14,156 If you stop and listen to him, you'll see he's brilliant! 523 00:48:14,556 --> 00:48:17,557 And I don't know how the hell he plays with all those rings 524 00:48:17,559 --> 00:48:20,297 on his fingers, that's even more impressive. 525 00:48:21,664 --> 00:48:23,367 Look at him. 526 00:48:25,101 --> 00:48:27,104 And I don't know why I ever gave a shit 527 00:48:27,302 --> 00:48:29,906 about who he was screwing in the first place. 528 00:48:31,474 --> 00:48:34,411 If he was getting laid, more power to him. 529 00:48:38,715 --> 00:48:41,184 Hmm, I can hardly get it up anymore. 530 00:48:44,219 --> 00:48:47,123 I hope I didn't leave anybody out. 531 00:48:48,157 --> 00:48:51,224 Oh, we did leave out somebody. All you kids... 532 00:48:51,226 --> 00:48:53,394 Oh, shit, I gotta go. I'm late. 533 00:48:53,396 --> 00:48:56,166 I gotta get back to the diner. Joe is going to kill me. 534 00:48:58,735 --> 00:49:00,503 All right. 535 00:49:09,644 --> 00:49:11,547 Bunch of liars. 536 00:49:14,083 --> 00:49:15,349 I'll see you later. 537 00:49:15,351 --> 00:49:17,521 - Okay. - Okay, bye. 538 00:49:18,286 --> 00:49:19,956 - Hey. - Yeah? 539 00:49:21,289 --> 00:49:23,259 Can I tell you a secret? 540 00:49:24,027 --> 00:49:25,362 Absolutely. 541 00:49:26,695 --> 00:49:29,732 You won't tell anyone? 542 00:49:37,340 --> 00:49:39,108 I'm scared. 543 00:49:44,514 --> 00:49:46,182 I know. 544 00:49:48,751 --> 00:49:50,387 I know. 545 00:50:21,550 --> 00:50:24,353 Did you ever think about before you were born? 546 00:50:25,621 --> 00:50:30,027 No, never did. What are you talking about? 547 00:50:31,561 --> 00:50:33,130 New beginning. 548 00:50:35,731 --> 00:50:39,700 Is that in the crossword today? 549 00:50:39,702 --> 00:50:44,671 No. I was just thinking about something that happened to me 550 00:50:44,673 --> 00:50:48,677 when I was about 12 or 13 years old. 551 00:50:49,512 --> 00:50:51,114 - Oh, yeah? - Yeah. 552 00:50:53,315 --> 00:50:55,818 I was at my Aunt Beulah's house, alone. 553 00:50:56,184 --> 00:50:57,753 I don't remember why. 554 00:50:59,621 --> 00:51:03,559 And only once, I got this anxiety attack. 555 00:51:03,860 --> 00:51:05,825 I panicked and I was scared to death. 556 00:51:05,827 --> 00:51:07,894 I started thinking there's nothing out there. 557 00:51:07,896 --> 00:51:10,266 It's all black, there's nothing. 558 00:51:11,867 --> 00:51:15,271 And I was scared shitless, man. 559 00:51:16,806 --> 00:51:18,438 At 13? 560 00:51:18,440 --> 00:51:19,775 Yeah. 561 00:51:23,713 --> 00:51:25,481 What happened? 562 00:51:26,782 --> 00:51:30,153 I don't know, my aunt came back and that was the end of it. 563 00:51:34,690 --> 00:51:36,423 Hey, Bob, how we doing? 564 00:51:36,425 --> 00:51:38,260 Little bit worse, I'd be perfect. 565 00:51:38,494 --> 00:51:40,262 Sit anywhere you like. 566 00:51:49,271 --> 00:51:52,805 Hey, you know what, Joe? I'll just take a coffee to go. 567 00:51:52,807 --> 00:51:53,807 Oh, okay. 568 00:51:53,809 --> 00:51:57,247 Well, I got a pot brewing. It'll be a minute. 569 00:51:58,547 --> 00:51:59,882 All right. 570 00:52:05,788 --> 00:52:09,659 Morning... hi. 571 00:52:11,460 --> 00:52:12,862 Howdy. 572 00:52:15,231 --> 00:52:17,300 Goddamn asshole. 573 00:52:17,632 --> 00:52:22,805 Uh, so no, uh... no sign of The President yet. 574 00:52:23,806 --> 00:52:26,206 I hope he turns up soon, for Howard's sake. 575 00:52:26,208 --> 00:52:28,275 The two of them are like heterosexual life partners. 576 00:52:28,277 --> 00:52:32,883 Only one thing worse than awkward silence... small talk. 577 00:52:37,954 --> 00:52:40,157 Okay, I hear you. 578 00:52:55,570 --> 00:52:57,507 So you doing okay? 579 00:52:58,974 --> 00:53:00,309 Fragile. 580 00:53:00,742 --> 00:53:02,244 Uh-oh. 581 00:53:04,313 --> 00:53:06,249 Why is that? 582 00:53:06,681 --> 00:53:08,284 I fell down. 583 00:53:08,985 --> 00:53:11,887 Ooh, yeah, yeah, that's... that's bad. 584 00:53:12,420 --> 00:53:14,356 Yup. It rung my bell. 585 00:53:18,827 --> 00:53:22,695 A couple years ago, I was heading 586 00:53:22,697 --> 00:53:24,664 to my daughter's school to pick her up. 587 00:53:24,666 --> 00:53:27,267 And as I'm turning around the corner, you know, 588 00:53:27,269 --> 00:53:29,838 going to the parking lot, there's a garbage truck that... 589 00:53:30,639 --> 00:53:33,210 I mean, just barely missed me. 590 00:53:33,842 --> 00:53:36,342 There was no more room between my car and that truck 591 00:53:36,344 --> 00:53:38,378 than between me and this tie. 592 00:53:38,380 --> 00:53:42,918 A half a second... a half a second made all the difference. 593 00:53:45,655 --> 00:53:47,820 Two minutes later, my daughter hops into the car 594 00:53:47,822 --> 00:53:49,992 as if nothing's happened, and... 595 00:53:51,494 --> 00:53:53,496 I guess nothing has. 596 00:53:54,730 --> 00:53:56,599 But, uh... 597 00:54:01,336 --> 00:54:03,572 it really shook me to the core. 598 00:54:06,409 --> 00:54:09,813 Yeah, I got hair standing up on my arms just thinking about it. 599 00:54:12,380 --> 00:54:13,880 Here we go, Bob. 600 00:54:13,882 --> 00:54:14,984 Oh, thank you. 601 00:54:15,885 --> 00:54:17,787 Gratis, counselor. 602 00:54:18,353 --> 00:54:19,622 Thanks, Joe. 603 00:54:21,056 --> 00:54:22,725 Do you mind if I sit down? 604 00:54:24,626 --> 00:54:25,695 Well, sit down. 605 00:54:28,831 --> 00:54:30,800 Do you have any kids, Lucky? 606 00:54:32,034 --> 00:54:34,436 None that I'm totally sure of, no. 607 00:54:35,905 --> 00:54:38,408 - You married? - Never been married. 608 00:54:38,708 --> 00:54:39,909 Ever in love? 609 00:54:41,710 --> 00:54:42,978 Yeah, I guess so. 610 00:54:43,512 --> 00:54:46,916 Ah, so it goes, huh? Hm. 611 00:54:51,554 --> 00:54:53,623 Well, "The future's not ours to see." 612 00:54:54,989 --> 00:54:57,493 Hell, I've made a whole career out of that. 613 00:54:57,992 --> 00:54:59,626 Wills and trusts, you know, 614 00:54:59,628 --> 00:55:01,729 it's about planning for things that you can't foresee. 615 00:55:01,731 --> 00:55:02,996 Just because you can't see 'em... 616 00:55:02,998 --> 00:55:05,432 doesn't mean they're not gonna happen. 617 00:55:05,434 --> 00:55:06,733 It is written. 618 00:55:06,735 --> 00:55:08,871 Mm-hm, somewhere. 619 00:55:11,840 --> 00:55:14,476 You know, I came home with my daughter that day... 620 00:55:14,976 --> 00:55:16,913 and I sat down, I made a will. 621 00:55:17,413 --> 00:55:20,650 I wrote end-of-life directives, I upped my life insurance. 622 00:55:21,083 --> 00:55:23,385 I paid up front for my cremation. 623 00:55:24,487 --> 00:55:26,588 So now, if something happens to me... 624 00:55:32,128 --> 00:55:34,798 When something happens to me... 625 00:55:35,530 --> 00:55:39,668 my family doesn't have to worry about the bureaucracy of death. 626 00:55:40,902 --> 00:55:41,971 You know? 627 00:55:43,472 --> 00:55:45,875 They just call one number 628 00:55:46,474 --> 00:55:48,608 and my body's gone by the end of the day, 629 00:55:48,610 --> 00:55:50,644 and they don't have to worry about anything 630 00:55:50,646 --> 00:55:52,179 for the rest of their life. 631 00:55:52,181 --> 00:55:56,083 Well, this doesn't change anything for you, this scenario. 632 00:55:56,085 --> 00:55:57,420 Why not? 633 00:55:57,952 --> 00:55:59,489 You're still dead. 634 00:57:02,684 --> 00:57:06,588 How are you doin'? Hey, how you doing, sweetheart? 635 00:57:12,494 --> 00:57:14,494 Hey, Lucky. 636 00:57:14,496 --> 00:57:16,262 What's her name? 637 00:57:16,264 --> 00:57:17,800 Fiona. 638 00:57:18,233 --> 00:57:21,438 Hey, Fiona, you're a fine cut of a dog. 639 00:57:21,637 --> 00:57:23,070 Yeah. 640 00:57:23,072 --> 00:57:24,838 Do you have any pets? No. 641 00:57:24,840 --> 00:57:27,007 You ever think about adopting one? 642 00:57:27,009 --> 00:57:27,974 No. 643 00:57:27,976 --> 00:57:30,480 I got plenty inside who need a forever home. 644 00:57:30,846 --> 00:57:33,012 A what? What's a forever home? 645 00:57:33,014 --> 00:57:34,847 That's when someone adopts an animal 646 00:57:34,849 --> 00:57:36,853 and then they have a permanent place to live. 647 00:57:38,186 --> 00:57:39,822 Nothing is permanent. 648 00:57:41,023 --> 00:57:42,858 Come inside, I'll show you around. 649 00:57:50,164 --> 00:57:52,298 It's like the wild kingdom in here. 650 00:57:52,300 --> 00:57:54,568 Aren't they beautiful? 651 00:57:54,570 --> 00:57:56,706 Yeah, and loud. 652 00:58:02,777 --> 00:58:04,610 Do you have any mockingbirds? 653 00:58:04,612 --> 00:58:06,612 No, but I can order you one. 654 00:58:06,614 --> 00:58:07,883 No, thanks. 655 00:58:15,925 --> 00:58:17,791 Are these tortoises? 656 00:58:17,793 --> 00:58:19,726 No, they're baby turtles. 657 00:58:19,728 --> 00:58:23,066 Huh. My friend Howard's tortoise ran away. 658 00:58:23,264 --> 00:58:24,764 Oh, no. 659 00:58:24,766 --> 00:58:29,001 Yeah... he said they could live to be 100 years. 660 00:58:29,003 --> 00:58:32,005 Oh, absolutely. In some cases, I've heard of 200 years. 661 00:58:32,007 --> 00:58:33,740 - Oh, really? - Yeah. 662 00:58:33,742 --> 00:58:35,044 Wow. 663 00:58:39,315 --> 00:58:42,251 - And what are these? - Crickets. 664 00:58:43,052 --> 00:58:45,017 Can you adopt these, as well? 665 00:58:45,019 --> 00:58:47,824 No. People buy them to feed their reptiles. 666 00:58:48,056 --> 00:58:49,291 Oh. 667 01:00:39,967 --> 01:00:42,672 Good morning, darling. Anywhere you like. 668 01:00:57,085 --> 01:01:00,756 - Marines, huh? - Yes, sir. 669 01:01:02,224 --> 01:01:04,693 - You? - Navy. 670 01:01:05,027 --> 01:01:09,898 Oh, okay, okay. You guys are great. 671 01:01:10,264 --> 01:01:12,734 You always gave us a lift to the fight. 672 01:01:14,869 --> 01:01:17,204 I read somewhere where the Marines didn't have the 673 01:01:17,206 --> 01:01:18,204 the mental capacity 674 01:01:18,206 --> 01:01:21,243 to understand the inner workings of a ship. 675 01:01:23,144 --> 01:01:24,847 World War II, huh? 676 01:01:26,014 --> 01:01:27,182 Pacific. 677 01:01:28,416 --> 01:01:31,019 Yeah, same here. Did you ever get around the Philippines? 678 01:01:33,088 --> 01:01:36,693 Yeah, I spent a couple years in that slice of heaven. 679 01:01:37,059 --> 01:01:40,860 Yeah, me, too, but I never got off the boat. 680 01:01:40,862 --> 01:01:42,264 Consider yourself lucky. 681 01:01:44,333 --> 01:01:46,099 Can I get you a cup of coffee? 682 01:01:46,101 --> 01:01:47,867 Yes, please, black. 683 01:01:47,869 --> 01:01:49,304 Mm-hm. 684 01:01:49,771 --> 01:01:51,271 A piece of that apple pie? 685 01:01:51,273 --> 01:01:53,440 Absolutely. You want that warmed up? 686 01:01:53,442 --> 01:01:55,008 - No. - All right. 687 01:01:55,010 --> 01:01:56,212 Thank you, though. 688 01:02:01,949 --> 01:02:04,820 Well, uh, mind if I come over and join you? 689 01:02:06,521 --> 01:02:09,491 No. Come on over here. 690 01:02:17,298 --> 01:02:18,965 Fred Sparks. 691 01:02:18,967 --> 01:02:20,103 They call me Lucky. 692 01:02:21,836 --> 01:02:22,938 I was a cook. 693 01:02:24,172 --> 01:02:26,807 On paper, that's supposed to be the easiest job in the Navy. 694 01:02:26,809 --> 01:02:28,842 That's why they called me Lucky. 695 01:02:28,844 --> 01:02:30,146 What were you riding in? 696 01:02:30,813 --> 01:02:32,381 L-S-T. 697 01:02:33,514 --> 01:02:36,950 Landing Ship Tank, right? 698 01:02:36,952 --> 01:02:40,389 We called it a large, slow target. 699 01:02:41,023 --> 01:02:44,423 We were hauling ammunition for the big battleships. 700 01:02:44,425 --> 01:02:47,063 More like riding a stick of dynamite. 701 01:02:48,864 --> 01:02:51,233 You ever get a ship shot out from underneath you? 702 01:02:52,000 --> 01:02:54,534 Almost once. 703 01:02:54,536 --> 01:02:57,137 Every day in the evening glare, 704 01:02:57,139 --> 01:03:01,208 the suicide planes came in low over the water, 705 01:03:01,210 --> 01:03:04,780 with the sun behind them, to hit our ships. 706 01:03:04,980 --> 01:03:08,416 So one day, this suicide plane was coming 707 01:03:08,916 --> 01:03:11,920 right towards our ammunition ship. 708 01:03:12,221 --> 01:03:18,561 And all at once, about 100 yards away, it went up into the air... 709 01:03:18,927 --> 01:03:21,063 and slid back down into the water. 710 01:03:21,963 --> 01:03:24,266 Some of our small arms fire had hit the pilot. 711 01:03:24,498 --> 01:03:26,032 Lucky shot. 712 01:03:26,034 --> 01:03:27,269 Not for the pilot. 713 01:03:29,137 --> 01:03:31,874 Did you go straight to the Philippines from boot camp? 714 01:03:33,175 --> 01:03:36,242 No, we stopped in Tarawa and Okinawa on the way, 715 01:03:36,244 --> 01:03:38,278 just to show them what fer. 716 01:03:38,280 --> 01:03:41,150 Tarawa, Jesus Christ. 717 01:03:42,483 --> 01:03:45,251 - Here you go. - Oh, thank you, dear. 718 01:03:45,253 --> 01:03:47,923 - You're welcome. - Thank you very much. 719 01:03:51,159 --> 01:03:53,425 I still think about those people on the islands, 720 01:03:53,427 --> 01:03:55,964 hiding away in caves, afraid of us. 721 01:03:57,266 --> 01:04:01,570 The Japs said that we were going to rape and kill them all. 722 01:04:05,007 --> 01:04:07,309 So, we secured the beach 723 01:04:08,309 --> 01:04:10,543 and the locals who survived 724 01:04:10,545 --> 01:04:12,447 that goddamn fire fight, 725 01:04:13,514 --> 01:04:16,383 start throwing their children off the cliffs, 726 01:04:16,385 --> 01:04:18,855 and then following them. 727 01:04:19,588 --> 01:04:23,559 I guess they thought suicide was better than facing us. 728 01:04:25,226 --> 01:04:26,929 I remember this little girl, 729 01:04:27,262 --> 01:04:30,466 couldn't have been more than seven, in rags. 730 01:04:32,668 --> 01:04:34,668 I don't know, she saw us coming, I guess, 731 01:04:34,670 --> 01:04:38,907 and right out of nowhere, out of a hole or wherever it was... 732 01:04:39,240 --> 01:04:41,277 and she had this... 733 01:04:41,543 --> 01:04:47,016 God, this beautiful smile on her face. 734 01:04:47,349 --> 01:04:50,483 And it wasn't a facade, it was coming from somewhere inside, 735 01:04:50,485 --> 01:04:52,989 from the center of herself. 736 01:04:53,454 --> 01:04:56,188 Good Lord, in that shit hole, 737 01:04:56,190 --> 01:04:58,460 something like that really stands out. 738 01:05:00,128 --> 01:05:01,728 It stopped us in our track. 739 01:05:01,730 --> 01:05:04,400 Here we were, all covered with shit, 740 01:05:04,699 --> 01:05:08,668 pieces of people everywhere, and I couldn't see a tree left. 741 01:05:08,670 --> 01:05:11,407 And she's grinning from ear to ear. 742 01:05:12,740 --> 01:05:14,943 So I said to my corpsman, I said, 743 01:05:15,510 --> 01:05:18,080 "Look at this, we got somebody who's happy to see us." 744 01:05:19,380 --> 01:05:23,618 And he said, "She's not happy to see you. She's a Buddhist. 745 01:05:23,985 --> 01:05:25,985 She thinks she's gonna be killed, 746 01:05:25,987 --> 01:05:28,490 and she's smiling at her fate." 747 01:05:31,460 --> 01:05:33,760 When I think about that little girl's beautiful face, 748 01:05:33,762 --> 01:05:35,464 and that smile, 749 01:05:36,297 --> 01:05:38,697 in the midst of all that horror, 750 01:05:38,699 --> 01:05:40,936 and how she summoned... 751 01:05:43,538 --> 01:05:45,173 joy. 752 01:05:49,610 --> 01:05:52,514 They don't make a medal for that kind of bravery. 753 01:07:35,317 --> 01:07:37,719 Hi, Lucky. I brought you some flan. 754 01:07:38,353 --> 01:07:40,887 - I made it myself. - Oh, thank you. 755 01:07:40,889 --> 01:07:43,889 And this is my mother, Victoria. 756 01:07:43,891 --> 01:07:47,395 She speaks a little English. Lucky. 757 01:07:47,762 --> 01:07:49,131 Hola. 758 01:07:49,364 --> 01:07:50,762 Nice to meet you, darling. 759 01:07:50,764 --> 01:07:52,331 Mucho gusto. 760 01:07:52,333 --> 01:07:54,269 Bueno, I'll be right back, okay? 761 01:07:56,338 --> 01:08:01,677 Now, um, what does the name Victoria mean in English? 762 01:08:02,309 --> 01:08:04,209 Victory. 763 01:08:04,211 --> 01:08:10,383 Victory, ah, Che Guevara said, "Hasta la victoria siempre." 764 01:08:10,385 --> 01:08:12,217 Se hablo Espanol? 765 01:12:56,671 --> 01:12:57,937 Lucky! 766 01:12:57,939 --> 01:12:59,942 One of you will betray me. 767 01:13:00,442 --> 01:13:03,011 Bullshit. We'll all betray you. 768 01:13:05,546 --> 01:13:07,715 You look peppy. Where have you been? 769 01:13:08,015 --> 01:13:11,152 Ah, to a fiesta. Did you ever have flan? 770 01:13:11,752 --> 01:13:12,720 No. 771 01:13:13,621 --> 01:13:15,923 I love it. It has an unusual consistency. 772 01:13:17,458 --> 01:13:20,863 Howie, you find that reptile of yours yet? 773 01:13:21,662 --> 01:13:23,798 No, but thank you for asking. 774 01:13:25,199 --> 01:13:27,168 It's okay, I've let it go. 775 01:13:27,935 --> 01:13:30,803 I kept thinking about how much time he spent 776 01:13:30,805 --> 01:13:32,441 planning his escape. 777 01:13:33,073 --> 01:13:36,411 And how much care he took in making sure I couldn't find him. 778 01:13:37,612 --> 01:13:40,580 And then I started to realize that he wasn't leaving me. 779 01:13:40,582 --> 01:13:42,180 He was just going off someplace else 780 01:13:42,182 --> 01:13:44,819 to do something he thought was important. 781 01:13:45,153 --> 01:13:48,457 I even felt guilty for standing in his way for so long. 782 01:13:50,190 --> 01:13:52,760 So I stopped looking for him. 783 01:13:53,895 --> 01:13:57,095 If it's meant to be, I'll see him again. 784 01:13:57,097 --> 01:14:00,802 He knows where I am, and I'm leaving the gate open. 785 01:14:05,038 --> 01:14:07,041 To Roosevelt! 786 01:14:17,652 --> 01:14:19,919 Hey! What, the rules don't apply to you? 787 01:14:19,921 --> 01:14:22,153 Since when did you think you could smoke in here? 788 01:14:22,155 --> 01:14:23,955 Well, you could in '68. 789 01:14:23,957 --> 01:14:26,627 Well, it ain't '68 anymore, sweetheart. 790 01:14:33,568 --> 01:14:36,104 One of these days, I'm just going to light up. 791 01:14:44,979 --> 01:14:48,246 My place, my rules. 792 01:14:48,248 --> 01:14:49,917 Ownership is a fallacy. 793 01:14:50,284 --> 01:14:52,884 Why can't you just live by the rules? 794 01:14:52,886 --> 01:14:56,321 Authority is arbitrary and subjective. 795 01:14:56,323 --> 01:14:58,324 This is the same kind of attitude 796 01:14:58,326 --> 01:15:00,761 that got you 86-ed from Eve's. 797 01:15:02,329 --> 01:15:05,097 - What do you know of it? - I know you lit up. 798 01:15:05,099 --> 01:15:06,632 That's what you think happened. 799 01:15:06,634 --> 01:15:09,035 If you didn't light up, why did they kick you out? 800 01:15:09,037 --> 01:15:11,336 They didn't kick me out, I walked out. 801 01:15:11,338 --> 01:15:13,104 That's a good story. 802 01:15:13,106 --> 01:15:14,307 I like that story. 803 01:15:14,309 --> 01:15:15,974 It's not a story. 804 01:15:15,976 --> 01:15:18,076 - Then what is it? - It's the truth. 805 01:15:18,078 --> 01:15:21,013 The truth is, you lit up! 806 01:15:21,015 --> 01:15:23,115 It's not about the cigarettes, 807 01:15:23,117 --> 01:15:27,186 it's about what I know happened, and what you think happened. 808 01:15:27,188 --> 01:15:28,256 I wish I had been there. 809 01:15:28,855 --> 01:15:30,956 You could have been there and still have missed it. 810 01:15:30,958 --> 01:15:34,128 You broke the rules. You got busted and banned. 811 01:15:34,328 --> 01:15:35,760 That's the truth. 812 01:15:35,762 --> 01:15:38,196 Look, how about if we all agree to disagree? 813 01:15:38,198 --> 01:15:41,636 No. I know the truth and the truth matters! 814 01:15:43,738 --> 01:15:45,240 It's a thing. Right? 815 01:15:47,774 --> 01:15:51,143 Yes, truth is a thing. 816 01:15:51,145 --> 01:15:55,984 It's the truth of who we are and what we do. 817 01:15:56,250 --> 01:16:00,318 And you have to face that, and accept it. 818 01:16:00,320 --> 01:16:03,958 Because the truth of the universe is waiting. 819 01:16:07,729 --> 01:16:09,629 I'm lost. 820 01:16:09,631 --> 01:16:12,701 The truth of what is, for all of us. 821 01:16:13,001 --> 01:16:14,903 Which is... 822 01:16:17,137 --> 01:16:21,009 That it's all going to go away. 823 01:16:22,644 --> 01:16:27,315 You, you, you, you, me, this cigarette, everything 824 01:16:28,382 --> 01:16:31,153 into blackness, the void. 825 01:16:33,320 --> 01:16:35,756 And nobody's in charge. 826 01:16:36,890 --> 01:16:38,893 And you're left with... 827 01:16:40,994 --> 01:16:42,663 ungatz. 828 01:16:44,998 --> 01:16:46,398 Ungatz. 829 01:16:46,400 --> 01:16:47,836 Nothing. 830 01:16:48,269 --> 01:16:53,809 Nothing. That's... that's all there is. 831 01:16:57,045 --> 01:16:58,744 And what do you do with that? 832 01:16:58,746 --> 01:17:00,015 What do we do with that? 833 01:17:09,724 --> 01:17:11,326 You smile. 834 01:21:40,697 --> 01:21:45,697 MkvCage.com 56945

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