All language subtitles for I.Am.Heath.Ledger.2017.1080p.BluRay.x264-[YTS.AG]-eng

Hello.

Yeah.

Uh, we're going to go
on a mission right now.

Uh, so will you come with me?

Oh.

You will.

So I'm going down
the street, and I get a hit.

Heath, Heath, Heath...

and, sure enough,
the next day, I said,

"I'm going to hear about
something...Heath.

There's something going on."

The next day, I got your email.

I honestly think
that the earth is off axis.

I think there's something

that is universally
out of alignment...

with what happened.

I'm not supposed to be
talking about this with you.

This is...

This isn't supposed
to be being made.

This is fucked up.

Like, this is not something

that is supposed
to be happening right now.

♪ I'm tearing up ♪

Heath was
the most alive human...

and if it wasn't on the edge,
it didn't interest him.

If there wasn't a risk,
some type of risk involved,

he had no time for it.

He went all the way out
in the time that he had.

He went all the way to the edge.

Some people
are just bigger than...

the world has room for.

♪ Still alive who you love ♪

♪ Still alive who you love ♪

He already
had this vision

as to where he was going to be.

He had these little shiny stars
on the ceiling

that he put up
in this old house.

He said, you know,
"That's where I'm going to be."

He said, "I'm going
to be in the film industry,"

and he said, "I'm going
to be a film actor."

Heath used to follow

his sister Kate, you know,

all her productions
that she was at at school.

Heath being in the front row
like this, for every single one.

"That's what I want to do.

I can't wait
'til I can do that."

He excelled
in everything he did.

Chess was his biggest passion.

"Please,
just let me win one game.

Why are you just, like,
thinking of it at this level?"

Great at art,

amazing athlete...

Heath used to get into scraps.

He was a good fighter.

I remember the conversations

about Heath wanting
to leave school

and travel across Australia.

I was quite shocked
at the time because he was 17.

It was like trying
to settle a wild stallion

at the time.

You may as well
make a friend of them

and support them
as best you can and love them,

and let's hope
that everything turns out.

I've got nothing
to run away from in Perth.

I love my family.

I love my friends.
I love the city.

It's just there was all this
going on outside of that,

and I just had to be part of it.

Heath and Trevor,

they were out
to conquer the world,

the two of them.

Pretty much waited for the day
for me to finish school,

and he was like,
"Let's go to Sydney."

It was literally
jumping in our car

and planting the foot down
and just bolting out.

I wanted to just get out there
and do it.

♪ March, march ♪

♪ Said march, march ♪

From there,
things moved on pretty quick.

♪ Fists in the air
as we march on ♪

We're going to Bondi.

We're just starting there.

Roll together.

Come on in, boys and girls.

You get what you want.

He took me
to all these auditions,

all these interviews...

Never asked.
He just did it.

He got a role
in an American TV series, Roar.

He had the lead role.

Action!

You'll be lucky
if you live that long.

Great. Cut!

Now he's an actor.
It was serious.

We went to the Gold Coast.

We were put up in a two-
bedroom high-rise apartment

overlooking the ocean.

Money, as a 17-year-old,
was impressive.

"Wow, here we are."

Everything
kept moving forward.

Hello.

Lisa was a real woman,

very classy.

He looked up to her.

They fell in love
really quickly.

She guided him.

She could see
the potential in him.

Lisa, where are we going?

She took his hand
and opened a lot of doors.

He followed her from Australia.

She was, like, "Come to L.A."

Dumb-looking photo.

♪ We march on ♪

I never moved there
expecting anything to happen.

I kind of went there
with the attitude

of "Well,
I've got nothing to lose."

Heath arrived at some odd hour,

and he turns around
and looks at me with a big smile

and says "Hello!"

Of course,
the first thing I noticed

was his gigantic smile.

My roommate, Lisa Zane,
knew, in her words,

that he was going to clean up,

meaning
be successful in Hollywood.

I think
she was the first to know that.

Hello.
How was your day?

Oh, it was fun.

There's a book called
The Sentimental Education,

and I feel
that's what he got from Lisa.

Lisa took him
to the Venice Carnevale...

and they shot
8-millimeter film...

and would wear the costumes...

and, to me,

that was a part of what
created him as an actor.

I gave him my friend's script,
10 Things I Hate About You.

He read the script and said,

"I really like
the role of Patrick,"

and I said,
"Isn't Patrick the lead?"

He said,
"Yes, Patrick's the lead,

and that's the part I want,"

and when he came back
from the audition,

he said, "I got Patrick,"

and I was like, "Really?
You got the lead?"

and that's when I realized
that Heath was...

different.

No offence or anything.

I mean, I know everyone
digs your sister,

but, um...

she's without.

Maybe we should do
this another time.

Sometimes
people break through

because of one thing,

whether it's good looks
or talent or timing or...

you know, who knows,

but he sort of had
everything down.

One of the most powerful things
for an actor,

particularly for a man,
is their voice...

I've thrown a football, what,

a few times in my life, so...

And their physicality...

And their, you know,
level of masculinity,

and he had all of those things
in spades.

There was a bunch of kids

staying in a hotel.

Everyone had their own suites,

and he brought everyone
together,

so by the time I got there,
the parties were in his room.

10 Things
was when he really felt

that, "Okay, this is my career.

I'm an actor now."

By then,
he had his agent, Steve.

He knew the industry,

but he didn't really
know the industry.

He'd only been in it
for 18 months.

It was
pretty early in my career.

You know, he was
one of my early clients.

He was looking for people
that he could trust.

Home to sleep.

It was just obvious.

He just had
this great swagger about him.

So how long have
you been acting?

About...

20 years.

How old are you?

20.

You could tell we were going
to be on to something.

So one of the things
that happens

is when you're good
at something in a movie,

everyone offers you
that same thing.

So he did a great job

being in a teen romantic
comedy, basically,

and so anything that, you know,

sort of resembled
10 Things I Hate About You

came his way,

and, of course, that's exactly
what he didn't want to do next.

He wanted to mix it up
and find a new challenge.

That moment
was a very important next step.

"Okay, what do we want
to do next?

What do we really want to do
if we have a choice?"

People in Hollywood,
they don't like to hear "no,"

you know...

and so I had a lot of fun
saying "no."

He was always very friendly.

He never seemed
out of sorts about it,

but he knew what he didn't want.

He was always very appreciative

of coming to a house
full of art and artists.

I am filming
right now.

He got this camera,

and he didn't know what to do
other than to make something.

It wasn't just to film us
and film what we were doing.

He was, like, creating
something straight away.

He always used to say to me,
"Don't forget your camera,"

and I was like, "What am I going
to film between here and there?"

and he was like, "I don't care.
You could film your feet."

But we'd watch
a lot of our videos back.

He was just... curious,
and watching it, and, like,

thinking how
he could do things different.

That's how he learned.

He never studied...

anything, really.

He was self-taught.

He could really see
what he was doing

and how to do that better
or different...

Hmm.

Even if it
was the way he smiled

or where he was looking,

he'd make a lot of things
just for himself,

just to teach himself.

That's right...

And evil
super-villains.

Evil super-villains.

... civilian men and women...

Who?

Got it, boss.

Let's go!

Okay, I've got my mission.

We're at the peephole.

You never know
who's out there waiting.

Okay.

Hey.

Did they know?

Okay, he's not there.

Let's keep on looking.

Down here.

Good Lord.

It was an effort.

Thank God I made it.

What's this? A message?

It must be from him.

Oh, my God...

The screen test for The Patriot
came up with Mel Gibson,

who's the biggest
Australian movie star.

That was one of his idols,

and he loved,
you know, Mad Max and...

It was a huge,
huge thing for him.

It was an actual screen test
and costume on the set

with the main star.

I was halfway
through the second scene

that I had to read for them,

and words were just bluhblbl,
coming out like this,

and so I just stopped
and stood up

and I said, "I'm sorry.
I'm wasting your time."

Heath called me and said,

"They're not calling you
on this one.

I just didn't do well,"

and it was something,
enough there

that Roland Emmerich
and the studio and Mel

all looked at each other
and, I think, said,

"You know, let's take a shot."

So this is, um,
first day shooting.

This is the first day
on The Patriot for me.

I'm looking forward to it.

It's been three months since
I found out I got this job,

and finally, after three months
of sitting around

thinking about it,

I get to go out there
and do it.

This is it.

So...

Blink my eyes,
and it'll be out there.

Guys, guys,
Heath's here, guys.

Everybody look alive.

It was a huge production.

It was a little terrifying

to be in another city
with no friends,

and you're just sitting there
on your own.

It's a lonely life.

Cut.

That's why he took me
to most places

is that it was us.

Hee hee hee hee.

We met riding our bikes

out in the street,

and we just became
best friends.

We felt...
at home together.

You could tell that he was...
he wanted to do a good job.

He was still learning.

I'm not going back.

No, I didn't
expect you would.

That Gates is a damn fool.

He spent too many years
in the British army.

Going muzzle to muzzle with
Redcoats in open field...

it's madness.

He called me one day
from the set,

really upset.

He was having a hard time,
and he was struggling,

just a crisis of confidence.

He was probably, in his head,

he's standing across
from his idol,

acting with Mel Gibson.

For a young Aussie kid,
it was a lot.

He would get caught up
in the fear

of whether or not
he could accomplish

what he wanted to do.

He kind of almost pulled out
of every movie

he ever ended up doing.

It's kind of
a rule of thumb for me

to self-doubt,

always think
that I shouldn't be doing it,

and I don't know how to do it,

and I'm going to fail,

and that I fooled them,

and I always try
and find a way out.

And he got past it,

and Mel was great.

Mel was so generous with him

and really took him
under his wing

and was amazing.

I'm sorry.

Be quiet.

I'll take care of you.
You're going to be all right.

Father...

I'm sorry... about Thomas.

Mel really taught him

how to come in and out
of a character.

He definitely learned
how to relax a little,

rather than building himself
up of, like,

"I've got this scene,
and I've got to do this."

I think Mel was
the first teacher that he had.

Heath used to say to me,
"It's not what Mel says.

It's what he doesn't say."

It's good.
I'm happy to be finished.

It was long.

It was really fun, though,
and they're really great people,

and I'm going to catch
a plane in two hours.

Mel had said,
"Well, I'm taking my jet.

Do you guys want
to come with me?"

Mel Gibson's inviting us
on his jet...

and, all of a sudden,
there we are,

with Mel on his jet,

cruising back to L.A.

It was definitely,
definitely a moment.

So we were always
going on adventures

and looking
for the next adventure

that was exciting and fun.

He'd finished a film.

He had downtime.

We went to Burning Man in '99.

Oh, cool.

We were excited

because we knew
nothing about it.

Cool.

The creativity
that exists there

and the ability to ride bikes
morning, noon, and night...

I think Burning Man

was Heath's favorite place
on Earth.

Do you want
a whiskey, Trevor?

I'd love a whiskey.

Whiskey.

Whiskey and hot dogs.
Nice.

It was a bunch
of half-naked people

and dance music 24-7,

and we fit in really well.

Heath lived every moment
to the fullest.

He was always looking to create
something out of the situation.

Cool...

You see?

He was an artist.

He loved to paint.
He loved to draw.

Cameras
were a big passion of his.

He knew the lighting
that was available.

He knew the speed of the film
that was in his camera

and what he could set it at
without using a light meter.

The cameras were a part of him.

Heath and I
had mutual friends,

so it was a setup.

We met,

and that was it.

That was it.

There were always
cameras around...

a video camera,

or a Polaroid camera,
or the film camera.

I was amazed when I saw
all of the stuff together...

and how many photographs...

I mean, he was
documenting everything.

He was just surrounded

by all of those moments
he was in,

and then surrounded by them,

but then he'd be capturing
the next moment

and the next moment, you know,
and the next moment.

Didn't stop.
It never stopped...

and the way
he was able to be in the moment

and then capture the moment
on the camera...

He just got you
in your most authentic self.

You know, he really got me.

I think that's a beautiful thing

because he's saying, you know,
through his photographs,

"I see you."

The art was more of a need,
almost,

to live in the world
and then capture the world.

He would draw on it
or scratch on it

or use crayon or nail polish.

He wanted to take it all
with him.

That's the only way
I think of him,

with the camera
in the hand.

That was just Heath.

His mates from Perth,

they were
a very close, warm,

loving, you know,
tight group of friends,

and he loved
having them around.

Okay, so I take the 101 south.

He had, like,
15 years of friendship

with kids that we went
to kindergarten with

that we'd graduated
high school with.

Heath always kept them close.

I was privileged
enough to go over

and see how his life was,

and it was
incredibly enticing,

incredibly alluring.

Oh, my goodness,
this has to be, like,

the world
that everyone wants to live.

Kane Manera
from The Strokes...

I think it was the first trip,

driving around, and he says,

"I've got to go
to a friend's house."

Knock on the door,

and he's got this, like,

slightly cheeky look
on his face.

Door opens.

Naomi Campbell answers.

I still have Naomi Campbell
pictures on my wall

at this point.

So I'm doing my best job
of just...

"Hey, how are ya?
Nice to meet you,"

and I'm thinking,

"I guess
this is what Heath does.

This is how it is now.

Just rolls
to Naomi Campbell's house."

Heath! Heath!

Heath's place was renowned

for having a stream

of Australian actors
and whatnots

living there.

Casting directors would ask you,

"And are you one of the Aussies
that lives at Heath's place?"

Yeah, we lived
in Los Feliz in this house

where the doors were just open,

and people would come
and stay.

Joel Edgerton and Heath
were close friends early on,

and he came over,
and Martin Henderson...

I did.

Rose Byrne,

Gregor Jordan,
you know, the director...

You would never know
who's staying at Heath's house.

Everyone and anyone
was welcome, you know?

He had such generosity
of spirit.

It's just miraculous,
the energy...

him, arms open, as always.

The Australian thing,
to me, was like,

yeah, come one, come all,
you know?

Like, hang out.

Let's make this fun.

People would stay a long time,
sometimes.

It was...

a bit longer than necessary,

but, um, but it was fun.

You've flown around the world.

Staying somewhere in L.A.
for a couple of months?

That... phew... costs a lot,

and I had nothing going on
work-wise.

Nothing.

It sort of didn't matter.

Upstairs, they had
a couple turntables.

They had a DJ setup.

"Come in.
We're going to do this.

What do you feel like?
Just chill out.

Oh, this is my record room.
This is the sunroom.

Have you heard of Nick Drake?
You've got to listen to this."

Puts it on, boom....

At his house,
he had a big record collection,

and he could have a big party,

and he would always be
at the music.

Music was definitely something
that was in him

that he... he loved.

With him, it was just
friends to hang out with

and share the journey.

He was very big
on sharing his success.

Heath's place
in L.A. was sort of

a renowned pre-Entourage
kind of entourage house.

In fact,
when I was staying there,

Adrian Grenier was there
at one of these nights.

There was a bit of drinking
and carrying on going on.

Then I often fancy

that he was doing
a bit of research

on a functioning entourage,

'cause Heath wasn't there,

so, you know, "Vinnie,"
as it were,

would've been away
making a film.

There were times
people were there, he wasn't.

I mean, he was on a set
somewhere, working on a movie,

you know, in Europe,

and his house was full.

We were in Prague.

For the first time,
we're really in Europe,

and we're living there.

We're there for pre-production.

Knight's Tale

was an interesting moment
in his career.

Amy Pascal, who runs Sony
at the time,

really, really loved Heath
and appreciated him

and wanted him in everything.

Hyah!

Forward!

Hyah!

Heath really gave
an incredible amount of dignity

to his characters,

even in a film
that's as sort of whimsical

and light, in its way,

as A Knight's Tale.

It's very hard to be
as solid as he was.

You know, at first,
it was a shock.

You know, I read it.

"Queen, 'We Will Rock You,'
rises as they enter the arena."

I think I almost
closed the script on that line

because I was thinking,
oh, it's one of those movies

that's trying to, you know,
mix the two,

but as I read further into it,
it explained itself.

The rock 'n' roll music
destroys any barriers

that are restricting us
to historical truths.

You know, it's a fairy tale.

We want the audience
to walk in there

and to be transported.

We went to Sony
for a marketing meeting

on A Knight's Tale.

Studio president,
studio executives

were all there, doing their job,

excited about the film,
excited about Heath...

very excited about Heath.

The poster and the campaign
was "He Will Rock You."

It was really built on Heath,

you know, the images,
Heath's face...

he looks like a rock star,

and the tag line,
"He Will Rock You,"

and those posters
were all over the city,

all over Los Angeles.

He was, like,
"Whoa, that's my face."

The posters were everywhere.

He knew
that would be projecting him

into the limelight.

There was a moment

where they talked about Heath
was going to go city by city

and talk about the movie,

and, you know, he was going
to be the secret weapon.

William!

I could see him getting more
and more upset, you know?

We were sitting
next to each other,

and I kinda,
out of the corner of my eye,

could tell he was getting very
uncomfortable and fidgeting,

and he finally whispered to me
that he needed to leave,

he needed to get out
of the room for a second,

"Can you excuse me?"
and he got up.

I followed him.

He was in the bathroom.

...Sitting there
just freaking out,

working out what the hell
he was gonna do,

trying to stick to his guns.

There's this thing
in Australia

called the tall poppy syndrome,
you know?

If one grows too high,
whsst,

you get cut down back to size,

and, as an Australian,
you identify with it.

If you do get too successful,

it's sort of,
there's something that's...

You feel ugly.

Being a salesman

and going out
and talking about the movie

and selling the film,

that was
the part of the business

that I think he was
least comfortable with...

Really, really
had a hard time with.

He wanted fame...

And then when he got it,
he didn't want it.

He was mortified,
and he felt owned.

His image, not their image...

Him, his face,
his heart, his soul.

I remember he told me,
"I'm not gonna be that guy.

I have no interest
in being that guy.

I'm not that guy,
and I'll show you."

Hey, do you
know what you did?

Do you know what you did?

Are you listening to me?

Do you know
what you did?

Do you know what you did?

You fucked him up!

He gets to come in,
play this role,

and break your heart.

In the script Monster's Ball,
he felt there was a journey

that would take him
to another place, another level.

He saw something about himself
that attracted him,

that he wanted
to experiment with,

he wanted to play with,

and that gave him
a perfect opportunity.

He's a supporting role,

but I remember him

more than anything else
in the movie,

and he didn't do much.

He was sort of deadpan,
you know?

He didn't do a lot
of busy performances.

That's the power
of Heath Ledger,

even when he was young,
even as a supporting actor,

he will steal the movie,
steal the whole show.

It sort of turned
things a little bit,

and people viewed him
a slightly different way,

a little bit more
of a dramatic actor.

When I read Spider-Man,
I talked to him about it,

and he was almost immediate
that he said,

"That makes no sense for me.

I can't possibly
be Peter Parker."

He was looking, always,

for something that was
gonna be truly challenging,

to try to figure out ways

that he could absolutely
disappear into a character

and almost be unrecognizable.

That's what really drove him.

In his process of picking
what film he was gonna do,

most of that came
from who was directing it.

Shekhar was a director

that he always wanted
to work with.

He recommended Heath,
myself...

We go out in the desert
by ourselves.

You know, just the two of us.

Heath stood there,
looking down the valley,

and we both
just started yelling,

trying to see how far
your voice will carry.

It's you and the desert.

You're forced
to look at yourself.

The impression
you have of yourself

when you look in the mirror

is up to you.

You can see
whatever you want to see,

and you can be
whoever you want to be.

He was really
at the start of a journey

that was a lot more focused
as an artist.

Acting is learning
about the life around you

and the person you are.

You can learn all the techniques
in the world,

but if you know nothing
about life and yourself,

then you're at a loss.

And since
we have to believe it,

for us, for the audience
to believe

what you're putting out there,

you must believe it yourself.

I will not be responsible
for your death.

How could you be responsible
for my death?

I will die
if it is God's will...

Yes?

That film was a bit
of a soul-searching.

We all grew from that film.

He told me that when
they wrapped his character,

he stood in the middle
of the whole set

and collapsed.

I'd been asked to
do this movie called Ned Kelly.

A small role,

but I was interested
because of Heath.

I thought he was really
a powerful young actor.

I remember the first day on-set,
and I was blown away.

I just felt an incredible
connection very quickly,

so intense that it was
sort of quite shocking.

We connected about acting,

and he saw the work
that I was putting in

and also working
with a dialect coach

and acting coaches,

and he was looking
to change it up.

His approach to his work
was always very intense.

He had the voice down.

He had these sort of
intense eyes.

It takes some real focus
to make that shift

into the world of what
he felt was more artistic.

He really, truly was an artist.

We knew his visual talent
from the photography,

but I didn't know that
it was going to get so serious.

He called me,

and he was like,
"Man, I've got this idea,

and we're gonna
make this video."

I'm thinking,
"You've got so much to do.

How do you have time
to consider me?

How do you have time
to think about this?

How do you even
have the care?"

That's what was going on
in my head

while he's talking me
through this idea.

"How? How do you do this?

How do you stay so active?
How do you stay so interested?

How do you burn so bright
all the time?"

It's just how he always was,

and I was more than happy
to be one of his test subjects

towards becoming a director...

Ca use an effect...

...And let's just do it.

Let's just grab a camera
and shoot.

Okay, let's
do your eye.

All right.

So let's get on with it.

♪ Hum ♪

♪ Hum ♪

♪ Hum hum hum ♪

Yeah.
♪ Hum hum hum hum hum ♪

Let's do it.

Throw ya hands
in the sky with me

Put 'em up like a dirty cop
told ya to freeze

Now close ya hands
to a fist and squeeze

If you represent freedom
and you fight for peace

It's the all-out fallout

I'll come if you call

Run with it quick
I'm fitted fit

More fit than 'em all

More fitter than them
busty booty MILFs at the mall

Milk leakin' out the tit

I pounce quick and I maul

Them baller cats
need to sit back on the bench

N'fa's the fresh breath
amongst the virulent stench

The violence won't end

I document with Biro or pen

Blood leaking
while they're freaking

I'm performing
and trying to take it in

and trying to impress my mate.

Despite who he is to the world,
he's still my mate,

and I'm trying to impress that
and get him going,

and he's getting me going.

Throw ya hands
in the sky with me

Put 'em up like a dirty cop
told ya to freeze

Now close ya hands
to a fist and squeeze

The louder he got,
the more into it I got.

I grab my balls
and I spit on the floor

Throw a fist for freedom
to shock all y'all

No 50/50

If you ain't with me
then fuck all y'all

If ya with me
let me hear ya roar

Come on now

If he wants me
to bark at me what to do,

Imma take it,

because the best guy
in the planet

is telling me how to be better.

If you represent freedom
and you fight for peace

To work with one
of my very best friends

and do something creative,

like, there's not much better
than that.

Now close ya hands
to a fist and squeeze

If you represent freedom
and you fight for peace

It's big today.

They're there, huh?

That's Skip charging.

Shit, dude.

My first concern

when I heard that he wanted
to play the part

was I kind of really wanted
more of a character actor,

in a way.

Philip Seymour Hoffman
looked more like Skip,

then Heath Ledger is, like,
a heartthrob or whatever.

I'm like, "Wait a minute.

I don't know
if this is gonna work."

Heath, he came in
and talked to me,

how he would really
get into that character

and craft it,

and he decided he had to get
teeth made like Skip's teeth...

Back to the boneyard
for you, pal.

...So that he would feel
that he was Skip

and talk the way Skip talked.

This interest in the exterior
and the craft

and the way that the characters
would look and sound

and physically look onscreen,

he was sort of a painter
in that way,

but he also had a psychological
interest in his characters.

Oh, nice socks, man.

Nice socks, nice socks.

If you don't have
a sense of play

and if you're too serious,

the odds are you're gonna be
too much of a tightass

to create characters.

Skip Engblom

and the Zephyr
skateboard team.

Here's our entry fees.

Now, where's
our trophies?

I don't think
he would be afraid

to try any acting technique.

He had a confidence,

but he wasn't afraid
to go and check the monitor

and watch playback afterwards.

He wanted to keep exploring
with it and pushing it.

He knew that he'd get it right
when the time came.

Well, Heath was just so open
and curious

and absorbing
everything around him.

He fully transformed himself.

He has a wig, he has the teeth,

and he just slides
into this crazy other skin.

One thing that
I don't think people realize,

as fantastic as he was
in Brokeback Mountain,

he left Lords of Dogtown

and was playing that role
about seven days later.

Come on,
you fuckin' homo.

I probably fancied
that I was staying in character

by teasing him about going
to do this gay cowboy movie,

and I said one...

one ribbing too much
about the Brokeback,

and he just gave me this look.

It was like, "shut the fuck up,"

and I realized, I was like...

And, um, I didn't say anything
about it afterwards.

Before Brokeback Mountain
came out,

it would've been unthinkable

to have a romantic tragedy
involving two gay cowboys,

which are the very symbol
of American masculinity.

This is one of the biggest
heartthrobs on Earth

taking on that character.

That's balls,
and that's an artist.

When his name
popped up from casting,

I did have a little hesitation.

I didn't know at that time
if he can carry a movie,

which is what he needs to do
in Brokeback Mountain.

Monster's Ball
is really the reason

I chose him
for Brokeback Mountain.

I was that impressed.

The bottom line is,

we're around each other,

and this thing
grabs hold of us again

in the wrong place
and the wrong time,

then we're dead.

The self-hatred
and complexity,

that just caught me right away.

He clenched his fists

and biting his teeth
the whole time.

There was no doubt in his mind

he was that person.

If you can find
that character in you,

then that's your success.

That's golden.

That's...that's the magic.

Ennis, I wanted him
to be clenched,

and I wanted his mouth
to be a clenched fist,

and I wanted the words

to be just punching
their way out from within,

and just any form of expression
had to be painful.

Heath played a character
that was very few words.

That's the impression
people get.

That's why he's a good actor.

He has the most lines
in the movie,

but he just say it
like a man with few words.

He just has to while...
doing those lines.

I don't like actor
to look at monitor,

'cause I think actor
is to be seen

and the monitor is
for filmmakers to look at,

the viewers to look at,

and when these actors
look at themselves,

it messes up
their performances.

It's too aware.

I've never had anybody
argue with me on that one,

but Heath is the only person...

He would just walk up
to the camera.

At first,
I was a little taken aback,

'cause I have to say that
or he'll watch it anyway.

It doesn't look
like he's self-aware.

It just got better.

Take after take,
he tried to hit a target.

There is a target
he tried to hit,

and when he hits it,
it's beautiful.

Michelle is a brilliant actress
and person, as well,

very intelligent,
natural for that role.

The performance they have,

that relationship in the movie,

was really memorable.

We're filming the toboggan,

and I look at the producer,

I look at the stunt coordinator,
and "Yeah, it's a toboggan."

Whsssh...

And they flip.

It didn't look like much
from where we were seeing,

but she was hurt,

and when we reached
the hospital,

we saw Heath
sort of holding her hand,

trying to comfort her,

and it was pretty obvious,
his interest in her,

so that's pretty quickly
it happened.

He goes,
"I want you to meet Michelle."

She hugs me in this way

that she kind of climbs
into my entire soul

and squeezes me.

I've never
been squeezed like that

by someone I hadn't met before.

Like, "Oh,
it's so nice to meet you..."

That sweet accent that she has.

He said, "I've got a surprise."

"I'm gonna be a father."

He was pumped.

He was so excited.

You know, after Brokeback,

it really started to happen.

It was gonna be
an important film,

and there wasn't him
leaving the room.

There was a level of maturity

that this was something
that he could handle.

Michelle!
Together!

It's incredible
just to what extent

this film has changed my life.

It's quite miraculous.

Heath felt life deeper

than anyone that I've ever met.

He just took everything in
that much deeper.

There was one night
at Heath's place,

a little wine,

and then things spin,

and then we were on the piano,

and, you know,
just having fun,

and it went into the morning.

Got home, slept in late,

woke up,
there was a commotion outside,

knock at the door,
dun-dun-dun-dun-dun.

It says here, "A grand piano
from one Heath Ledger,

gift to Ben Harper."

I called him right away.

"You're crazy. What are
you doing?" you know?

"You're sending me
a grand piano.

Like, this is...
You can't do this."

"No, mate.
It's supposed to be with you."

And what can you say?

What can you say...

Other than "thank you"?

So then a couple weeks later,
he calls.

"You know that piano?

I need you to write
a lullaby for my daughter

that we can play for her
when she's born."

All right.

I've never been trusted
so deeply.

Nothing has ever
been asked of me

that was that precious.

♪ The morning sunrise
spread her wings ♪

♪ While the moon
hung in the sky ♪

♪ Held the sea in her hands ♪

♪ And happy ever after
in her eyes ♪

♪ All that I can give you ♪

♪ Is forever yours to keep ♪

♪ Wake up every day
with a dream ♪

♪ And happy ever after
in your eyes ♪

♪ Happy ever after
is in her eyes ♪

♪ Happy ever after is in... ♪

♪ Her eyes ♪

He became more of a dad
than an artist...

and to say that for Heath...

That's it.

I mean, that's...
It's a huge thing.

He really did change a lot.

It was a really exciting time.

He was out
to do everything possible

to be a good dad,
and, you know, a good partner,

and everything
that we all wish we could be.

He'd reached that spot
where "I've got a child.

My life's changed, and hold on,

I've gotta be in charge
of my own destiny."

Heath was a fantastic father.

He had so much love for her,
and it was so beautiful to see.

Being a dad was, like,

his favorite thing
that he ever did.

♪ River river river river... ♪

He said
he'd be moving to New York.

I thought he was gonna move
into the city.

Michelle had plans for Brooklyn.

Being the person that he is,

he fell in love
with Brooklyn too.

He said, "I love Michelle.

I love the world we're building.

I love the neighborhood."

They found a beautiful house.

It felt like he was, like,
the trailblazer of Brooklyn.

Cruising through
the streets of New York

with Matilda on his shoulders.

I mean, that's when he was...

He was just totally happy.

Waking up
every morning to that...

that smile, it just...

It just...
it brightens your day,

it really does,

and I'm incredibly proud
of both of them.

I had given him an early copy
of a record of mine

called Both Sides of the Gun.

He was getting into videos,

and he was getting
into directing

and getting behind the camera,

and that was...

That was exciting him a lot.

Then I got a call
at some crazy hour.

"I really wanna do a video.

This record means a lot to me.

How about the song
'Morning Yearning,'"

and I said, "Heath,
that would be amazing,

and I'm gonna leave you alone.

I'll show up and I'll do
whatever I need you to do."

Rolling.

♪ Morning yearning ♪

♪ It's a morning yearning ♪

And he really knew
exactly what he wanted to do,

but what amazed me is how in
command he was of everything.

Heath was a one-man
force of nature.

He would do lights, the colors,
the texture...

He would help
with the choreography.

It was super important to him
it wasn't a dance video.

It couldn't be something
you'd seen before.

♪ Sun is burning ♪

I was just amazed
at his prowess with the camera.

Like, he was
calling out numbers

and, you know,
and apertures and the angles.

He had command of his vision.

♪ With hopes
of better days to come ♪

♪ It's a morning yearning ♪

♪ Morning yearning ♪

He proceeded to make

the best music video
I've ever had

in my 23 years
of making music.

♪ Morning yearning ♪

The Morning Yearning video

was shot at this place,
Little Radio, downtown.

Had a soundstage,
not too big, not too small.

They had a pirate radio station.

They'd do underground shows
for underground bands,

and it was just on the edge.

The place had a photo booth,
and we took a bunch of photos.

He was constantly
revealing the next cool thing,

but, I mean, I should've known
about Little Radio, you know?

That's my business.

♪ Morning yearning ♪

♪ It's a morning yearning ♪

When I saw the Morning
Yearning video

for the first time,

I thought to myself,

this guy is going to have
a lifetime behind the camera

as well as in front of it.

Heath decided that he wanted

to establish his moviemaking
company with me.

All the people
that he had met,

Matt was one that he trusted
and he'd actually learned from.

The fact that we decided
to do this together...

I think a big surprise
to a lot of people, actually,

to the people that
Heath was doing business with,

people that were offering
him deals at studios.

When it was time to get
an office for The Masses,

we made sure
that it'd be a place

where Heath could
maintain his privacy.

We didn't want anybody to know

that this was Heath Ledger's
new office.

He would enter through the back
on his motorcycle,

of course,
cloaked in his helmet,

and it was like being home.

"The Masses" is a cool name

because it's not meant
to be exclusive.

Everyone has the capacity
to tell their story.

And they had
the whole floor of a building.

You knew as soon
as you walked up those stairs,

you were going into, like,
the hubbub of creativity.

Heath had a little slogan,
and that was "Keep It Real."

To do something surprising,
mess up the frame a little bit,

to not be so symmetrical...

To try something.

Our profound love of music

encouraged our idea
to have a music company.

I work with bands.

I direct music videos,

and I run
a small independent label,

The Masses, and it's with
a whole bunch of my friends,

who are all just young creators.

My friend, Grace, she'd been
doing just some recording,

like, very basic kind of
like solo recording

in her bedroom...

♪ My dad wrote four words
on a tiny piece of paper ♪

♪ These are the stages
you'll go through ♪

And I emailed him and I said,
"How cool is my friend?

Listen to this song of hers,"

and, literally within,
like, 24 hours, I get a reply.

♪ Acceptance will come too... ♪

"She's amazing.

Can you put me
in touch with her?"

and I was kind of a bit, like,
"What? Oh, yeah, okay. Sure."

♪ Or for that matter, rewind ♪

♪ And though you said
that time was blind ♪

♪ Now you're in a place
that only exists in my mind ♪

Literally a month or two later,
she was on a plane to L.A.

He went very quickly
from hearing her voice

and wanting to get her
into a recording studio.

♪ Ooh... ♪

I knew

that it was still
a young company, The Masses,

and I almost feel like,
in a way,

they almost weren't
prepared for it either.

It was like one minute
we were emailing,

and the next minute,

a 17-year-old girl
from Australia

is on their doorstep
with a guitar.

I got a call from Matt Amato

asking if I could come
to the offices of The Masses.

I was gonna be having
a conversation with Heath.

"Yeah, she's here
for another week,

and we wanna make
a whole album and a video...

And she has some of the songs,
but not all of them."

I was down.
"Let's just go do it right now."

Heath styled it,
he found the locations,

he storyboarded it,

and I would just say,
"Yeah, that sounds amazing."

I just trusted him.

I just knew he had this vision.

What we ended up doing was
kind of developing her songs

and kind of just improvising.

Heath was very much a part

of those sessions
with Grace and Carlos,

and, I mean,
he financed it himself.

Heath came in one day

to come and listen
to how it was going.

We were working on a song.

We wanted a male vocal in there,
and he was there,

and I was like, "Why don't you
do whatever comes to mind,

like, just have
a couple of takes

and see what comes out,"

and Heath got all nervous,
but he just...

he almost became a character
in that moment.

♪ Wheels keep on turning ♪

♪ Oh no ♪

And he just
took on this persona,

and he had this, like,
incredible deep tone.

♪ Dee dee dee dee ♪

There she is,
going through the door,

teardrops falling
from her fingernails.

She's hiding, gone forever,

somewhere
in a California dream.

Afterwards, he was like,
"Is that okay?

Is that all right?"

I was, like,
"Of course it is."

♪ I'm outta my mind ♪
- He could do no wrong.

♪ I don't know
where I'm goin' ♪

♪ There's not enough time ♪

♪ Yeah, the wheels
keep on turnin' ♪

I would describe Heath's energy
as being absolutely limitless.

He was tapping into
something completely different.

That was just him.

He just had too much energy...

Too many thoughts,
too much to do,

too much creativity.

When you feel that good,
you don't sleep.

He spent so many hours awake,
it was like he was 50...

Based off living, awake years.

The stories I hear
from all these different people,

I'm like, "Man, he did that
with you too?

He used to call you
at this time?

He did that?"

How many people
was he like that with?

We talked so many times a day,
you know, on the phone,

if we weren't in the same city.

If something
caught fire with him,

he would hit me
in the morning with an idea,

and he'd become, you know,
mildly obsessive.

Midnight, one in the morning...

and this was land lines,
you know,

in the day of like, you know,

when people
still had land lines,

so it would be that loud, like,
ring!

It's Heath.

Like... "Hey, man,
can I call you at, like, eight?"

Or he'd show up for breakfast...

show up at, like, six.

He'd be waiting
outside my house

at 5:30, 6:00 a.m.,

ready to go.

Like, literally,
not a text, not a phone call...

Just "I'm at the gate."

He'd crash our breakfast.

He never slept.
He never re...

His email...

His email was
l'llberunningaround

at something something
dot com...

and he always was.

You always wonder

if people sense
their own mortality.

Certain people
have that power...

and if anybody did, it was him.

Talked about Nick Drake,

a musician that he was
absolutely passionate about

and wanted
to tell his story,

how he died

and his process
of creating music.

It was all about Nick Drake.

Heath was...
I mean, he was gone.

He was all things Nick
at that time.

I mean, he had every record.

He had interviews.

He was completely immersed
in Nick Drake.

Always playing his music

and talking about the visuals
that he would put to this music.

It escalated more and more

and became
a huge passion for him.

He'd always had this thing
for these artists,

people who died at, like, 27,

like Kurt Cobain
and Janis Joplin

and this whole list of people.

At a young age, he was like,
"I'm just like these people."

It was weird.

I remember him saying,
"I've got a lot to do.

I don't feel
like I have much time.

I just don't think I'm going
to be around that long, so...

Don't know why.

I've just got
to get things done now."

I guess our story together

kind of chronicles
his love life,

his struggles
with love and a relationship

and they're trying to manage

both his professional life
and his private life.

It's a bit of a double-edged
sword, I believe,

'cause a part of you
wants to stay at home

and do nothing
for the rest of your life,

but as soon as you're there,

you want to get out
and start working.

There's a fascination

and an addiction
to the lifestyle.

Heath brought something
to the part,

and it wasn't
the movie star part

that he brought.

There was a credibility
and vulnerability

to his performance.

He was always able
to show his struggle or conflict

in whatever character he played,

that he personalized
the performance.

Not with the girls.

Yes, Robbie.

- No.
- Robbie!

You're not
taking my kids!

Relationships happen.
Relationships go wrong.

If you haven't
been through it yet,

you don't know
how to adjust and cope,

and then you're in
the father position,

partner position,

and you're doing things
that aren't quite right.

I'm Not There
is really art imitating life

in such a beautiful,
painful way.

I feel he was struggling

with being able to give
Michelle and Matilda

all the attention he wanted to.

Their breakup
was tough enough.

I really felt the...
for Michelle,

a lot of stuff
was projected on her.

It was pretty
heartbreaking and upsetting.

Things were unraveling
for Heath.

That whole idea
of controlling your destiny,

designing your destiny...

the unraveling
was not part of the design,

and he couldn't control it.

So his lack of sleep
and needing to sleep

had a big effect on him.

He had to take
medicated sleeping,

which wasn't good for his body.

I ran into him in New York.

I hadn't seen him
for a couple of years,

and wow, Heath has... changed,

but the way he has changed

kind of, like, got me
a little concerned, you know...

and I looked at him
and I thought, wow...

with a bit of a concern,
you know?

We had
a few tough times together,

like, sadnesses in life.

Music is absolutely healing.

Music was a way
for him to heal himself.

Nick, can you play
River of Life?

There you go. Yay!

River of Life.

If you asked Heath who he was,

he would tell you
he was an actor,

he was a filmmaker,

and he was a brother.

He was a brother to me,
and to many.

I guess
being friends with Heath,

someone so big and glamorous

and... action hero

and all that stuff...

The fact that he carried
that gentility in his heart

and made that
an active principle for himself

gave me certain strength too...

And he would
always encourage me.

Like, I'd see a wave coming,

and he'd say,
"Don't be afraid to fall..."

and that was a real important
aspect of who Heath was.

He didn't have
that kind of fear.

He was going
to direct his first film,

which was The Queen's Gambit,
about a chess player.

His love of chess
was, you know, legendary.

I always felt that he was
five moves in front of me.

By the time
he was 10 or 11 or so,

it was pretty hard
to actually beat him.

He was
an amazing chess player,

and it's something
that we did every day.

Whether we were
together or apart,

we were playing chess online
or chess face to face.

Heath was trying
to achieve a grandmaster status

and was only a few points away
from achieving his goal.

When he read that story,
Queen's Gambit,

he thought, wow, this could be
the right size film

to take a bite and direct it.

So this is about
a young chess player

who is addicted
to drugs, to pills.

He understood that story

from inside out.

He wanted to use chess

as a metaphor
for the girl's life,

and he had something to say.

There are many actors
that want to direct

that almost
are the actor directing,

but he had the ability
to communicate his ideas

that he could translate that
into a filmic story.

The only time that I'm alive

and living and expressing
and feeling and relating

is when I'm on-set

in that time
between "Action" and "Cut."

I called Heath,

and I said, you know,
"This is what's happening.

They're putting together
the next Batman film,

and the Joker's
going to be the villain,

and, you know,
is that of interest?"

And I remember him,
you know,

it was like...
there was no pause.

It was like, "Absolutely.

I want that.
How do I...

you know, what do we do?

I'll get on a plane.
I'll fly out.

I want to meet with Chris,"
you know.

"Can you get me in a room
with Chris Nolan?"

I'd already seen
this world he'd created

in Batman Begins,

and so I knew
there was an opportunity

for a new version of the Joker,

and that excited me,

and I also knew instantly
what to do.

So we had about a month,
roughly two months.

He had already started
to occupy the character.

I locked myself away
for six weeks in a room,

and I kind of came up
with this creep.

Walk around like a madman

and finding posture,
finding stance.

Finding his voice
is very important,

because when you find the voice

you find the breath
within the voice.

It's like, man,
the Joker, though.

Jack Nicholson
did the Joker, man.

I said,
"How do you tackle that, like,

without just
doing a version of Jack?

I mean, how do you even
talk or laugh or..."

I was sitting there, walking,
just thinking,

and I suddenly hear,

"Do you want to know

how I got these scars?"

I'm like... I look at him,

and he's kind of walking,
holding his shirt,

and he's like, "My daddy
was a drinker and a fiend,"

and he gives me this look,
and...

man, goosebumps,
chills run down me,

and he does
that little monologue for me.

"Why so serious?"
he finishes.

I was just, "Holy..."

and I jump into the street.

Whoo! Yelled it out.

I'm punching him in the chest,

and he's like,
"Don't tell anyone."

He turns to me,

and he says,
why so serious?

He comes at me
with the knife.

"Why so serious?"

He sticks the blade in my mouth.

"Let's put a smile
on that face,"

and...

Why so serious?

When we were shooting
the scene

where he comes into the party,

there was a crowd
that side of the camera

and this side of the camera.

It was a very large crowd, so...

he didn't expect it
to be so big.

He said, "This feels
like walking onto a stage.

I wasn't prepared
for so many people.

How do I play this?"

And I said, "Well...

well, you're a psychopath,

so they're your toys.

You play with your toys."

Good evening,
ladies and gentlemen.

We are tonight's entertainment.

I only have one question.

Where is Harvey Dent?

You know where Harvey is?
Do you know who he is?

That's another trademark

of the actor
that Heath had become.

He was able to chuck his vanity,

and I think
his conception of the Joker

did show him
kind of warts and all,

and he did it on his own
in the makeup trailer,

and it was very simple.

All it was, was just, like, a
wash of white pancake makeup

and some smear of red lips.

The prosthetics
came up onto the lip

and feathered onto the lip,

so it was almost halfway
into the mouth,

and, of course, when you speak,

the feathering
of the prosthetics

became loosened,

and the last thing Heath
wanted to do was to go back

and spend another 20 minutes
or half an hour

trying to get
the lips glued back again,

so he licked...
he licked his lips...

a lot...

and then, slowly, that became
a part of the character.

He knew that he had
something that was amazing.

He had put
all this work into it,

and he was actually
enjoying the work.

Everyone,

every sound technician,
every producer,

was floored by what he was
doing in The Dark Knight.

People would be scurrying
up to screens,

trying to get glimpses on-set,

just because they knew
when he was on,

it was on.

He felt for the first time,
as an actor,

that he was like,
"I'm untouchable.

Every scene I do
with any other actor,

it doesn't matter
how amazing they are.

I'm controlling
and leading these scenes."

He was so confident,

and he was so proud
of that role.

He was really excited
for that film to come out.

He was... it was the first time
I'd heard him in a long time

being excited about, like,
"this role I've nailed."

You've changed things...
forever.

Then why do you want
to kill me?

I don't want to kill you!

What would I do
without you?

Go back to ripping
off mob dealers?

No, no.

No.

No, you...
you complete me.

You're garbage
who kills for money.

Don't talk like one of them.

You're not...

even if you'd like to be.

To them, you're just a freak...

like me.

When he wasn't working,

he would come to set
and observe and watch Chris

'cause he was so enamored

with, you know,
Chris as a director

and wanted to learn
as much as he could

about what he was building
and what he was doing.

A lot of people like to think

that it was a strenuous process
for him,

but he would come off the set,

and we'd chat,
and we'd have a laugh and joke,

and we had more fun
than was, um...

than was respectable

for hardworking artists.

It was the most fun
I've had with a character,

hands down.

Creatively, it was just...

it was too good to be true.

It was Christmas,
and my whole family,

we were having this wonderful
great big dinner.

He came and surprised us,
as he loved to do.

He'd shown me some snippets
of him as the Joker,

and, I mean, I was blown away.

I couldn't believe it,

and I just said to him,
you know,

"This is amazing.

This is, like, taking it
to the next level.

Like, you're going
to be nominated for this,

I'm telling you right now,"

and he just smiled.

Heath was over the moon

about the role of the Joker
in The Dark Knight.

He was very pleased
with the way it was going

and the input that he had
into that character.

It was after the dinner,

and he kind of, like,
leaned over at one point

and said, "Oh, by the way,

I'm taking you back to London
with me,"

and I was like, "What?"
and my mom was like, "What?"

"Oh, no, here we go again."

It was his time
to take his little sister,

introduce her
to the entertainment world.

Heath was
in the best place of his life.

He had a kid
who he loved and adored.

He was making the films
he wanted to make.

He had big plans for his future.

In three weeks' time,

I start filming
with Terry Gilliam,

and I'd really do any...

I'd cut carrots
and serve the catering

on a Gilliam film.

I really, really love the guy,
and so...

yeah, I'm doing The Imaginarium
of Dr. Parnassus,

and then I'll
drop to the ground, dead,

for a year,

and hibernate.

The Imaginarium
of Dr. Parnassus...

I was able to work with him
for two weeks on,

in freezing cold London,
in all the night shoots,

in all of its glory.

We were on
Blackfriars Bridge...

bitterly cold.

He spent most of the night
hanging off the bridge,

having rain poured on him...

so he was very wet.

I'm not sure that helped him.

A lot of the crew
were fighting colds and whatnot,

but I do just remember
Gerry saying

he had the strength of a horse,

I think is what he said.

His body was tired, I know.

He was tired.

He developed a bad flu,
and that exhausted him.

We were staying
in the same apartment.

I would wake,
I'd hear him wandering around,

and sometimes
he'd come into my room,

and we had the conversation

that the sleeping medication
wasn't really helping him sleep.

At times, he would say,

"I'm just having a hard time
kind of, you know,

laying it down
at the end of the day

and not thinking about stuff."

I knew the pressures
that were in his life.

I knew he was sick.

I knew he had pneumonia.

I knew he had these long flights
from London to New York.

We were about
to wrap up in London.

He had sent myself
and his assistant, Nathan, ahead

to prep the apartment

for when we were going
to all be there, and...

I hadn't talked
to him all morning,

and it was pretty rare,

and I was getting concerned.

I kept texting,
saying, "Hey, what's up?

Where are you?
What's going on?"

And, honestly, he would've
texted back or called me back

in almost any situation...

any situation,
except if he was...

you know...

♪ Someday my pain ♪

And I put my BlackBerry down
on the desk,

and, um...

I kind of just stared at it...

♪ Harness your blame ♪

And then the phone rang,

and it was his publicist,
Mara Buxbaum,

and, um, and she was crying.

And I called his dad,

and his dad's phone was off,

and I called his mum,

and she was trying
to find out information,

so I called one of our friends
in New York

to see if she could
go to his house,

and she was like,
"Trev, I'm here,

and I can't get in,"

and that's when
reality kicked in.

♪ Send it farther on ♪

More texts
from different people

start rolling in.

I'm like, "No, no, no, no,
someone's messing with me,"

and I actually called the phone,
and it rung out.

I wanted to say,
"Please call me back.

Please call me back,"
you know,

but I just froze and hung up.

I got a call from a friend,

and right away, I knew
something awful had happened.

I did call his phone
a few times.

The world did find out
before we did.

It will haunt me
for the rest of my life.

I guess we're no different

from anyone else
that loses a child

or loses somebody suddenly...

the only difference being

is that we had
to live our feelings out

in the public eye.

It was our boy,

and it was the world's moment,

and our private moment,

but it was something
that we had to share,

and sharing that...
across the world

was so hard, you know?

That was a very sad day.
It was.

♪ What might have been lost ♪

I just got up
and went home.

I just hid.

♪ What might have been lost ♪

♪ What might have been lost ♪

I was shooting a music video
on a day that he died.

I was in Eau Claire, Wisconsin,
with Justin, who is Bon Iver.

I saw that I had, like,
35 messages on my phone.

♪ Don't bother me
What might have been ♪

I just heard
what sounded like crying...

and Matt told me

that his friend Heath
had passed away,

and I just held him
for the longest time,

and I just told him,
"Whatever you need to do, man,

we're here for you."

This person that I just met

just had lost
somebody so important to them.

It was no longer about making
a Bon Iver music video anymore.

This was now our chance
to be there with Matt

as he grieved.

♪ What might have been lost ♪

It was a three-day...wake.

♪ Don't bother me ♪

I was deeply sad,

but Heath didn't want me
to be sad.

He wanted to see me smile
all the time,

and he couldn't have possibly
given me more in my life,

and I'm very lucky.

Out of these three days

that I spent with Matt,

I got the next five years
of my life.

I started writing
all these words down,

some of these visions

that Matt
would kind of tell me

about Heath growing up
in Australia,

and the words ended up
being the first song there,

and I called it "Perth."

It's still hard
when people talk about it,

and people have
preconceived ideas about how...

surrounding that period of time.

It's, you know...

but that's what people do,
you know?

They come up
with their version of it

that makes it
convenient and tidy

and, you know,
and also tells a good story.

The truth is, he was super happy

and was loving life,

and he struggled
with some demons,

but he wasn't wanting
to go anywhere but forward.

His heart was just
incredibly beautiful.

Fearless in how he loved
and how he opened his heart.

He was seeing the world

in a way
that the rest of us didn't,

and in a way
that the rest of us couldn't,

and time and convention meant
absolutely nothing to him.

He had this light around him.

Wherever he went,

he shone light on people.

It made their lives better.

♪ Not yet awake ♪

All our lives
were better

for him being around...

and we still talk about it now.

♪ Still alive who you love ♪

♪ Still alive who you love ♪

♪ Still alive ♪

We are lucky

that he completed
so much in his life

that not only he is proud of,

but it's left
for his little girl, Matilda,

to see what her daddy was

and how creative and artistic
he was.

There's
all of this footage of him.

There's these films
that she gets to watch

and be proud
of who her father was.

I have no doubt
that he could've done

innumerable more
extraordinary performances

and given those gifts
to the world.

♪ So I'm ridding
all your stories ♪

In Chinese,
we call it "God envy,"

a person so talented
that even God envy him.

♪ You're breaking
your ground ♪

The trajectory he went on
in such a short time

was extraordinary.

Do you look at this
and think to yourself,

"Somebody's maybe making

an impressionistic film
about my life someday?"

In not maybe this year,
but in 10 years from now?

Um, wow,

I haven't given it
any thought, no.

I haven't, and, um,

I think it would be
a pretty boring movie.