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1
00:00:04,366 --> 00:00:06,233
Um, this feels kinda funny.
2
00:00:06,353 --> 00:00:07,501
Well, then I must be
doing something wrong.
3
00:00:07,569 --> 00:00:09,503
It should feel hilarious.
4
00:00:09,571 --> 00:00:10,705
(Laughs)
5
00:00:10,772 --> 00:00:12,506
This is all happening so fast.
6
00:00:12,574 --> 00:00:15,099
I know...
But it just feels so right.
7
00:00:15,219 --> 00:00:17,711
A magical dinner for two
at the finest hotel buffet
8
00:00:17,778 --> 00:00:19,255
in walking distance.
9
00:00:19,375 --> 00:00:21,280
What better way to end
"two-for-one Tuesdays"
10
00:00:21,349 --> 00:00:23,718
than two becoming one.
11
00:00:23,838 --> 00:00:25,749
That's beautiful.
12
00:00:25,869 --> 00:00:27,286
More wine?
13
00:00:28,438 --> 00:00:29,630
I'm sorry.
14
00:00:29,939 --> 00:00:31,139
What's wrong?
You too cold?
15
00:00:31,207 --> 00:00:32,146
I can warm you up.
16
00:00:32,266 --> 00:00:34,562
No, not cold.
Ah! Too warm.
17
00:00:34,682 --> 00:00:36,577
Maybe you're wearing
too many bras.
18
00:00:36,645 --> 00:00:37,365
I can help you with that.
19
00:00:37,485 --> 00:00:39,769
I think the problem
is that guy.
20
00:00:40,073 --> 00:00:42,916
Peter: Don't mind me, guys.
Pretend I'm not even here.
21
00:00:42,984 --> 00:00:44,652
(Crunching cheetos)
22
00:00:44,720 --> 00:00:47,154
Right.
I'll take care of it.
23
00:00:47,222 --> 00:00:51,324
Hey, Peter, would you like
a very special cupcake?
24
00:00:51,392 --> 00:00:52,678
Pffft!
Obviously.
25
00:00:53,344 --> 00:00:55,395
Terry:Don't worry, I drugged his cupcake.
26
00:00:55,463 --> 00:00:56,596
He'll sleep like a baby.
27
00:00:56,664 --> 00:00:58,161
Yeah, but he's still
right there.
28
00:01:00,100 --> 00:01:01,511
Right. Sorry.
29
00:01:01,631 --> 00:01:03,110
I'm being insensitive.
30
00:01:08,007 --> 00:01:09,742
Good night, sweet prince.
31
00:01:09,809 --> 00:01:11,910
Sleep now so that I may hump.
32
00:01:11,978 --> 00:01:13,245
Now, where... Denise?
33
00:01:14,447 --> 00:01:16,014
(Door slams)
34
00:01:16,082 --> 00:01:17,215
(Sigh) Damn it!
35
00:01:18,652 --> 00:01:20,952
Peter: (Sleep mumble)
Must kill president...
36
00:01:21,020 --> 00:01:22,853
Terry: I probably shouldn't
have said hump.
37
00:01:22,921 --> 00:01:32,577
Sync & corrected by honeybunny
www.addic7ed.com
38
00:01:32,697 --> 00:01:34,098
Hey, Bernie, how're you doing?
39
00:01:34,166 --> 00:01:35,300
I work at Sassitude.
40
00:01:35,367 --> 00:01:37,234
Shoot me in the face
and end it now.
41
00:01:37,302 --> 00:01:39,936
But first, I need a cupcake.
42
00:01:40,004 --> 00:01:41,538
Whoa-whoa-whoa!
43
00:01:41,606 --> 00:01:43,206
You can't have those.
Terry, it's okay.
44
00:01:43,326 --> 00:01:45,041
I'm on this all cupcake diet.
45
00:01:45,109 --> 00:01:46,476
Okay, that was a lie,
46
00:01:46,544 --> 00:01:47,444
but wouldn't that be awesome?
No, no.
47
00:01:47,512 --> 00:01:50,079
You can't eat those cupcakes.
48
00:01:50,147 --> 00:01:51,147
They're drugged -
49
00:01:51,215 --> 00:01:52,549
for when I bring girls home.
50
00:01:52,617 --> 00:01:53,716
I'm sorry, what was that?
51
00:01:53,784 --> 00:01:55,718
Bernie, I don't drug the women.
52
00:01:55,786 --> 00:01:56,885
I'm not a monster.
53
00:01:56,953 --> 00:01:58,153
I drug Peter
so I can have sex with women
54
00:01:58,221 --> 00:02:01,757
while he's unconscious
on the floor.
55
00:02:01,825 --> 00:02:03,058
I think this idea
seems way less creepy
56
00:02:03,126 --> 00:02:04,460
when I don't say it out loud.
57
00:02:04,528 --> 00:02:05,594
Although,
I am starting to realize
58
00:02:05,662 --> 00:02:06,762
why it never works.
59
00:02:06,830 --> 00:02:07,930
You're drugging
your own brother?
60
00:02:07,997 --> 00:02:09,198
Do you know how dangerous
that is?
61
00:02:09,265 --> 00:02:11,966
Don't worry.
These are pretty safe.
62
00:02:12,034 --> 00:02:14,035
(Reading) "Side effects include drymouth,
persistent erections,
63
00:02:14,102 --> 00:02:15,870
and sleep heroics."
64
00:02:15,938 --> 00:02:16,771
Sleep heroics?
65
00:02:18,941 --> 00:02:21,242
(Super hero music plays)
66
00:02:24,213 --> 00:02:26,146
(Yawns)
67
00:02:26,214 --> 00:02:29,650
Terry:See? Dry mouth. No big deal.
68
00:02:29,718 --> 00:02:30,551
Bernie: Oh!
Terry: Whoa!
69
00:02:30,618 --> 00:02:32,052
That is persistent.
70
00:02:32,119 --> 00:02:34,054
But harmless.
No one's getting hurt.
71
00:02:34,121 --> 00:02:36,657
God, my head is killing me!
72
00:02:36,725 --> 00:02:39,426
Hm... it doesn't say anything
about headaches.
73
00:02:39,494 --> 00:02:40,327
(Hard whack)
74
00:02:42,929 --> 00:02:44,997
Wow... that is persistent.
75
00:02:46,400 --> 00:02:48,701
Hey, what are you guys
talking about?
76
00:02:48,769 --> 00:02:51,070
Next time,
just get a hotel room.
77
00:02:51,137 --> 00:02:53,205
Who can afford a hotel
at $10.25 an hour?
78
00:02:53,273 --> 00:02:55,307
Whoa! $10.25 an hour?
79
00:02:55,376 --> 00:02:57,343
I know!
That's nothing.
80
00:02:57,410 --> 00:02:58,510
Guess you should've
stayed here with us.
81
00:02:58,578 --> 00:02:59,444
You'd be making twenty by now,
82
00:02:59,512 --> 00:03:00,545
like me and Pete.
83
00:03:00,613 --> 00:03:01,813
I only make ten!
84
00:03:01,881 --> 00:03:04,249
What?
How do you guys live?
85
00:03:04,316 --> 00:03:05,984
Do you make your own clothes?
86
00:03:06,051 --> 00:03:07,118
(Both laugh)
87
00:03:07,186 --> 00:03:08,487
That's ridiculous.
88
00:03:08,554 --> 00:03:10,955
Make our own clothes, eh?
89
00:03:11,023 --> 00:03:12,724
(Sewing machine hums,
Peter hums)
90
00:03:12,792 --> 00:03:15,726
(Machine jams)
Uh-oh. Okay. Uh-huh. Uh.
91
00:03:15,794 --> 00:03:19,296
That's gonna hurt.
Okay! All right!
92
00:03:19,364 --> 00:03:21,932
I will just dig it out
with these scissors...
93
00:03:22,000 --> 00:03:23,401
Oh, that's much worse.
94
00:03:23,468 --> 00:03:24,535
Just stitch through it,
95
00:03:24,603 --> 00:03:26,069
just stitch through it,
Peter, come on!
96
00:03:26,137 --> 00:03:27,237
Ahhhh! Ahhhhhh!
97
00:03:27,305 --> 00:03:29,972
Scissor again.
Here we go! Oh! Oh!
98
00:03:30,040 --> 00:03:32,275
I'm ruining my shirt.
99
00:03:32,342 --> 00:03:33,910
That's what's really upsetting!
100
00:03:33,977 --> 00:03:35,278
Terry!
101
00:03:35,345 --> 00:03:37,814
Pete, you know that dad
always paid me a quarter more.
102
00:03:37,882 --> 00:03:39,482
Yeah, when we were twelve!
103
00:03:39,550 --> 00:03:40,583
We should make the same.
104
00:03:40,651 --> 00:03:43,119
Wait, your goal is $10.25
an hour?
105
00:03:43,186 --> 00:03:45,288
(Laughs)
That's so adorable!
106
00:03:45,355 --> 00:03:47,355
Look, I would love
to give you a raise,
107
00:03:47,424 --> 00:03:50,325
but we have to minimize costs
to keep prices low.
108
00:03:50,393 --> 00:03:51,894
Remember what dad used to say?
109
00:03:51,961 --> 00:03:54,262
Get your finger out of there?
110
00:03:54,330 --> 00:03:55,964
He also used to say,
111
00:03:56,032 --> 00:04:00,402
"Great comics for great people
at great prices."
112
00:04:00,470 --> 00:04:02,036
Bernie:I love watching you guys bond,
113
00:04:02,103 --> 00:04:04,439
but time is money...
For me anyway.
114
00:04:04,506 --> 00:04:05,372
(Laughing)
115
00:04:05,441 --> 00:04:07,308
See you at lunch, poorpants!
116
00:04:07,375 --> 00:04:10,023
Poorpants? Really?
117
00:04:10,679 --> 00:04:11,679
Sorry.
118
00:04:11,747 --> 00:04:12,713
It's just so rare
119
00:04:12,781 --> 00:04:14,281
I actually get to feel
superior...
120
00:04:14,349 --> 00:04:15,783
To anyone.
121
00:04:15,851 --> 00:04:17,318
All right, knock yourself out.
122
00:04:17,385 --> 00:04:18,752
Why don't you go sell
your blood
123
00:04:18,820 --> 00:04:23,156
at the place where they pay you
for...your blood!
124
00:04:23,223 --> 00:04:24,090
The blood bank?
125
00:04:24,158 --> 00:04:25,525
I'm on fire!
126
00:04:27,261 --> 00:04:29,228
Hey, maybe I should make
$10.25 an hour
127
00:04:29,296 --> 00:04:30,497
and you can make ten,
128
00:04:30,565 --> 00:04:32,799
that way prices stay the same.
129
00:04:32,867 --> 00:04:34,800
No.
130
00:04:34,868 --> 00:04:36,034
And get your fingerout of there.
131
00:04:47,655 --> 00:04:49,412
Another coffee break?
Really?
132
00:04:49,532 --> 00:04:50,823
Should I say cupcake break?
133
00:04:50,890 --> 00:04:52,658
I'll have you know
I didn't have a cupcake
134
00:04:52,726 --> 00:04:54,025
because it was drugged.
135
00:04:54,093 --> 00:04:55,427
Do you know how sad
that sounds?
136
00:04:55,495 --> 00:04:56,729
I do, yes.
137
00:04:57,049 --> 00:04:59,183
Look, I know folding's
pretty darn complicated
138
00:04:59,251 --> 00:05:00,619
for someone with
your wide fingers,
139
00:05:00,686 --> 00:05:04,990
but who is going to buy
a wrinkled shirt?
140
00:05:05,057 --> 00:05:07,324
Wow. You're right.
That is a huge problem.
141
00:05:07,391 --> 00:05:11,261
If only there are some way
I could refold it.
142
00:05:11,329 --> 00:05:13,797
Maybe you could refold
all of them.
143
00:05:13,865 --> 00:05:15,065
But those ones aren't wrinkled.
144
00:05:15,133 --> 00:05:16,967
Really?
145
00:05:17,035 --> 00:05:18,035
(Gasps)
146
00:05:18,103 --> 00:05:19,202
Now they are.
147
00:05:19,270 --> 00:05:21,138
Come on! That took me
like three minutes!
148
00:05:21,205 --> 00:05:22,605
Nice attitude.
149
00:05:22,673 --> 00:05:24,007
You know, this is why you're
never gonna make manager money.
150
00:05:24,074 --> 00:05:25,574
Why?
How much do you make?
151
00:05:25,643 --> 00:05:26,876
Eight dollars an hour.
152
00:05:26,944 --> 00:05:28,978
Ha!
Eight dollars an hour?
153
00:05:29,046 --> 00:05:30,880
That's not even half
of what I make!
154
00:05:30,948 --> 00:05:33,182
What? You make more money
than I do?
155
00:05:33,250 --> 00:05:35,584
Yeah. What do you have
to say about that?
156
00:05:35,653 --> 00:05:37,553
Yeah, well...
I guess it sounds fair.
157
00:05:37,621 --> 00:05:38,586
Really?
158
00:05:38,655 --> 00:05:39,454
Mm-hm.
Because in two years
159
00:05:39,522 --> 00:05:40,488
I'm gonna be married
160
00:05:40,556 --> 00:05:41,790
to a CEO with washboard abs,
161
00:05:41,858 --> 00:05:45,426
and you will still be here,
aging. Badly.
162
00:05:45,494 --> 00:05:46,227
You don't know that.
163
00:05:46,295 --> 00:05:47,763
Oh, yes I do know that.
164
00:05:47,830 --> 00:05:49,230
You are gonna die
working at Sassitude.
165
00:05:49,298 --> 00:05:52,233
You are gonna be buried
in spanx.
166
00:05:52,301 --> 00:05:53,668
Maybe I'll just fold these.
167
00:05:53,735 --> 00:05:54,769
There you go.
168
00:05:54,836 --> 00:05:56,336
See? Even though
you make more,
169
00:05:56,404 --> 00:05:58,773
you still have to do
what I tell you.
170
00:05:58,840 --> 00:06:00,474
(Singsong)
Smile.
171
00:06:01,677 --> 00:06:03,010
I can't believe there
are suckers out there
172
00:06:03,078 --> 00:06:05,278
who would do this
for half of what I make.
173
00:06:07,014 --> 00:06:07,847
Suckers...
174
00:06:09,449 --> 00:06:10,750
Terry:
Thank you very much.
175
00:06:10,818 --> 00:06:13,086
Hey, hey, hey!
What're you doing?
176
00:06:13,154 --> 00:06:15,421
I'm evening out the wage
disparity in this place.
177
00:06:15,489 --> 00:06:17,523
First of all, great use
of the word disparity.
178
00:06:17,591 --> 00:06:18,725
Thank you.
179
00:06:18,793 --> 00:06:20,325
It's on my word of the day
calendar.
180
00:06:20,393 --> 00:06:22,327
I thought it was
quite perspacacious.
181
00:06:22,395 --> 00:06:23,295
Was that yesterday's word?
182
00:06:23,362 --> 00:06:26,031
No. I just made it up.
183
00:06:26,099 --> 00:06:27,966
Second of all,
those aren't wages,
184
00:06:28,034 --> 00:06:30,069
they're tips
for my excellent service.
185
00:06:30,136 --> 00:06:31,336
Isn't that right, Boyd?
186
00:06:31,404 --> 00:06:34,940
Oh, sorry, Pete.
He's earned every penny.
187
00:06:35,008 --> 00:06:37,474
He made a heart with the foam.
188
00:06:37,542 --> 00:06:39,010
That's because I love you.
189
00:06:39,078 --> 00:06:40,678
Damn, he's good.
190
00:06:41,914 --> 00:06:43,081
Peter:
Okay. Well, then...
191
00:06:43,148 --> 00:06:44,381
I'll just take over
the coffee counter, right?
192
00:06:44,449 --> 00:06:45,516
How hard could it be?
193
00:06:45,584 --> 00:06:46,851
(Flames whoosh)
194
00:06:46,919 --> 00:06:48,753
Huh.
195
00:06:48,821 --> 00:06:50,254
(Flames whoosh)
196
00:06:50,322 --> 00:06:51,689
Is it supposed to do that?
197
00:06:51,756 --> 00:06:53,857
Is anything supposed
to do that?
198
00:06:53,925 --> 00:06:55,558
Fine. You know what?
I'll just set up a tip jar
199
00:06:55,626 --> 00:06:56,626
at the comic counter,
200
00:06:56,694 --> 00:06:58,161
and you can't have any of that!
201
00:06:58,229 --> 00:07:00,097
Pfft! How are you going
to get tips?
202
00:07:00,164 --> 00:07:01,732
Oh, I've got a few ideas.
203
00:07:01,799 --> 00:07:03,967
Lady:(Cries out)
204
00:07:04,035 --> 00:07:04,935
Oh my God!
That poor woman,
205
00:07:05,002 --> 00:07:05,869
she's dead.
206
00:07:07,438 --> 00:07:08,303
Is she?
207
00:07:10,306 --> 00:07:11,707
Peter, that's amazing!
208
00:07:11,775 --> 00:07:12,975
Why do I ever question you?
209
00:07:13,043 --> 00:07:14,210
You're the best.
210
00:07:14,277 --> 00:07:15,911
Thank you, young man.
211
00:07:15,979 --> 00:07:16,812
Ahem.
212
00:07:17,547 --> 00:07:19,414
(Coin clatters)
213
00:07:19,482 --> 00:07:20,515
Fifteen cents?
214
00:07:22,285 --> 00:07:24,385
Keeping in mind
you don't have magical powers.
215
00:07:24,453 --> 00:07:25,987
Then I've got nothing.
216
00:07:26,055 --> 00:07:27,255
You've had a rough day.
217
00:07:27,322 --> 00:07:28,823
I'm giving you
a ten minute break.
218
00:07:28,891 --> 00:07:31,092
Who made you
lord of the breaks?
219
00:07:31,160 --> 00:07:32,593
That's my job as manager.
220
00:07:32,661 --> 00:07:34,062
Manager? What?
221
00:07:34,130 --> 00:07:35,864
I have way more experience
than you do.
222
00:07:35,931 --> 00:07:37,665
True, but I went
to Harvard Business School.
223
00:07:37,733 --> 00:07:39,667
Uh, you failed out
of Harvard Business School!
224
00:07:39,735 --> 00:07:41,468
Yeah? What's the best school
you ever failed out of?
225
00:07:41,535 --> 00:07:43,303
The school of life!
226
00:07:43,371 --> 00:07:45,839
You failed out
of the school of life?
227
00:07:45,907 --> 00:07:48,642
Well, you failed out
of little dick college!
228
00:07:48,709 --> 00:07:50,410
Why? Because I have
a big dick?
229
00:07:50,478 --> 00:07:51,945
Shut up!
230
00:07:52,013 --> 00:07:53,080
We're gonna have to discuss
231
00:07:53,148 --> 00:07:54,081
these little outbursts of yours
232
00:07:54,149 --> 00:07:55,282
at your next
performance review.
233
00:07:55,349 --> 00:07:57,884
Fine. I'll do your little
performance review
234
00:07:57,951 --> 00:08:01,587
and we'll see
who's manager after that.
235
00:08:01,655 --> 00:08:03,389
So, tell me...
236
00:08:03,456 --> 00:08:05,057
Peter...
237
00:08:05,125 --> 00:08:08,594
What would you say
your greatest weakness is?
238
00:08:09,797 --> 00:08:11,830
Um... well... uh... heh...
239
00:08:13,032 --> 00:08:15,000
I'm not great
at dealing with people
240
00:08:15,067 --> 00:08:16,434
or handling money.
241
00:08:17,603 --> 00:08:18,937
And uh...
242
00:08:21,941 --> 00:08:24,509
I'm not so good with "sales,"
243
00:08:24,576 --> 00:08:26,978
or not lighting things
on "fire."
244
00:08:28,180 --> 00:08:30,247
So I guess my greatest weakness
would have to be
245
00:08:30,315 --> 00:08:33,017
my inability
to rank my weaknesses.
246
00:08:34,828 --> 00:08:35,960
Peter:
This is ridiculous!
247
00:08:36,080 --> 00:08:38,715
You can't just come back here after all these
years of me in charge of everything.
248
00:08:38,835 --> 00:08:41,992
Well... to be fair,
249
00:08:42,060 --> 00:08:43,560
I wrote "has potential"
on your review.
250
00:08:43,628 --> 00:08:45,428
You make more money,
you get to be manager,
251
00:08:45,495 --> 00:08:47,130
you have better hair,
you're a way better dancer.
252
00:08:47,198 --> 00:08:48,064
Where are you going with this?
253
00:08:48,132 --> 00:08:49,398
Well... (Huffs)
I mean...
254
00:08:49,466 --> 00:08:51,267
You make all the decisions
without even asking me!
255
00:08:51,335 --> 00:08:52,535
Well, to be fair,
256
00:08:52,602 --> 00:08:53,703
if we're just going
to do things my way,
257
00:08:53,770 --> 00:08:55,171
what's the point of asking you?
258
00:08:55,239 --> 00:08:57,506
The point is I know way more
about this place than you do.
259
00:08:57,574 --> 00:08:59,408
Okay, I do a lot of things
around here
260
00:08:59,476 --> 00:09:01,243
you don't even know about!
261
00:09:01,311 --> 00:09:04,446
All I want
is a little respect!
262
00:09:04,513 --> 00:09:07,115
And one of my special cupcakes.
263
00:09:07,183 --> 00:09:08,350
No!
264
00:09:08,417 --> 00:09:10,052
(Groans, thumps on floor)
265
00:09:10,119 --> 00:09:10,953
Damn it!
266
00:09:13,656 --> 00:09:14,823
I've got a date tonight,
267
00:09:14,891 --> 00:09:16,257
so I'm gonna need you
to cover for me.
268
00:09:16,325 --> 00:09:18,525
Boyd:
Here? Or on your date?
269
00:09:18,593 --> 00:09:19,927
Because I have to meet
this fella
270
00:09:19,995 --> 00:09:22,129
before I agree to anything.
271
00:09:22,197 --> 00:09:23,364
Where's Bernie?
272
00:09:23,431 --> 00:09:24,598
Well, she left
a couple of hours ago.
273
00:09:24,666 --> 00:09:25,666
She can't do that.
274
00:09:25,734 --> 00:09:27,969
There are clothes
to be folded...
275
00:09:28,036 --> 00:09:29,536
Which you're folding.
276
00:09:29,604 --> 00:09:31,138
Well, she hired me
to do her job.
277
00:09:31,206 --> 00:09:32,339
What?
278
00:09:32,406 --> 00:09:35,375
Bernie wanted me
to mention something...
279
00:09:35,442 --> 00:09:38,245
I missed my court date.
280
00:09:38,312 --> 00:09:40,080
That can't be right.
281
00:09:40,147 --> 00:09:43,649
Oh... she's paying me
eleven dollars an hour.
282
00:09:43,717 --> 00:09:44,885
Do you realize I'm now making
283
00:09:44,952 --> 00:09:46,386
more money than you?
284
00:09:46,453 --> 00:09:47,320
Jealous?
285
00:09:47,388 --> 00:09:49,288
(Laughs)
You can tell Bernie
286
00:09:49,356 --> 00:09:50,622
that I'm not
the slightest bit jealous
287
00:09:50,690 --> 00:09:52,557
of a pathetic loser
who lives in his van.
288
00:09:54,460 --> 00:09:56,762
I'll be sure to pass it on.
289
00:09:58,031 --> 00:09:59,865
Really earning my money today.
290
00:10:01,301 --> 00:10:02,902
Peter:(Whistling)
291
00:10:04,103 --> 00:10:06,037
Well, look who's
feeling better.
292
00:10:06,105 --> 00:10:07,939
Although you're always
less cranky after a lie down.
293
00:10:08,007 --> 00:10:10,208
Uh, Terry,
I'm not a little kid.
294
00:10:10,276 --> 00:10:12,310
Juice box?
Mmm! Grape!
295
00:10:12,378 --> 00:10:14,212
Mm.
296
00:10:14,280 --> 00:10:16,714
You know, it's not so bad.
297
00:10:16,782 --> 00:10:18,749
I mean, you are better
at business than I am,
298
00:10:18,817 --> 00:10:20,350
and all I really care about's
the comic book shop
299
00:10:20,418 --> 00:10:22,452
and I'm still master
of that domain.
300
00:10:24,255 --> 00:10:25,088
Hey...
301
00:10:26,690 --> 00:10:27,857
What the hell happenedto "Pete's picks"?
302
00:10:27,926 --> 00:10:28,825
Pete's picks?
303
00:10:28,893 --> 00:10:30,160
Yeah! Pete's picks.
304
00:10:30,228 --> 00:10:32,362
The shelf dedicated
for all my best comics.
305
00:10:32,430 --> 00:10:33,430
I took it down.
306
00:10:33,497 --> 00:10:35,299
(Trying to stay calm)
You did what?
307
00:10:35,366 --> 00:10:36,498
I didn't think
it was a big deal.
308
00:10:36,566 --> 00:10:37,466
It was taking up
valuable wall space,
309
00:10:37,534 --> 00:10:38,467
and they never sold.
310
00:10:38,535 --> 00:10:39,735
Yeah, of course
they never sold.
311
00:10:39,803 --> 00:10:41,904
Because Pete's picks
aren't for sale, Terry!
312
00:10:41,972 --> 00:10:43,539
Pete's picks are there
to show everyone
313
00:10:43,606 --> 00:10:44,640
that I have the best comics
314
00:10:44,707 --> 00:10:46,275
and that they should be
jealous of me.
315
00:10:46,343 --> 00:10:48,444
Well, now they can be jealous
of our amazing travel mugs.
316
00:10:48,511 --> 00:10:50,446
And better yet...
These are for sale.
317
00:10:50,513 --> 00:10:53,181
Pete's picks is the lifeblood
of this place
318
00:10:53,249 --> 00:10:55,783
and you're just turning it
into a caffeinated whorehouse!
319
00:10:55,851 --> 00:10:56,952
Pete, I think
you're overreacting.
320
00:10:57,019 --> 00:10:58,886
Oh, oh... I'll show you
overreacting,
321
00:10:58,955 --> 00:11:01,581
okay, Mr. "Manager."
322
00:11:02,024 --> 00:11:03,624
From now on,
you're on you're own
323
00:11:03,692 --> 00:11:06,428
'cause I'm on strike!
Oh yeah.
324
00:11:12,347 --> 00:11:14,309
Great comics, bad manager!
325
00:11:14,429 --> 00:11:15,930
Great comics, bad manager!
326
00:11:16,050 --> 00:11:18,251
Oh, he won't give me a raise
so he can keep prices so low!
327
00:11:18,318 --> 00:11:19,318
Male customer:
Hey, great comics.
328
00:11:19,386 --> 00:11:20,754
No! Don't go in there!
It's terrible!
329
00:11:20,821 --> 00:11:22,022
It used to just be comics,
330
00:11:22,089 --> 00:11:23,556
now it's got coffee
and delicious treats!
331
00:11:23,624 --> 00:11:24,891
Female customers:
Ooh! Delicious treats!
332
00:11:24,959 --> 00:11:26,192
Peter:
No! The treats, they're not good!
333
00:11:26,260 --> 00:11:29,029
He puts snails in the food.
Yuck!
334
00:11:29,096 --> 00:11:31,531
French customer:
Oh, les baguette! Escargot! Oh...
335
00:11:31,598 --> 00:11:32,731
Son of a bitch!
336
00:11:34,334 --> 00:11:36,369
Hey, uh...
Nice strike there, Peter.
337
00:11:36,436 --> 00:11:37,903
Haven't had this many customers
in weeks.
338
00:11:37,971 --> 00:11:39,472
I should have thought of this
a long time ago.
339
00:11:39,540 --> 00:11:41,040
Hey, you know what would
really teach me a lesson?
340
00:11:41,107 --> 00:11:42,441
Why don't you stand closer
to the road
341
00:11:42,509 --> 00:11:43,509
and twirl your sign more?
342
00:11:43,577 --> 00:11:45,177
Oh, I'm twirling it plenty.
343
00:11:45,244 --> 00:11:47,111
Oh, and laugh while
you still can because...
344
00:11:47,180 --> 00:11:48,746
You won't find anyone
who can do what I can do.
345
00:11:48,814 --> 00:11:50,014
What?
Bankrupt the store?
346
00:11:50,082 --> 00:11:52,817
Oh, I am the Scottie
of this enterprise!
347
00:11:52,885 --> 00:11:55,487
(Scottish accent)
You'll nay go warp speed without me.
348
00:11:55,555 --> 00:11:56,721
I'm irreplaceable.
349
00:11:59,192 --> 00:12:01,458
Terry:
Hey, Bernie, you want a job?
350
00:12:01,526 --> 00:12:02,560
Sure.
351
00:12:02,627 --> 00:12:03,360
Terry: Sweet.
352
00:12:04,896 --> 00:12:06,129
Ah, haggis!
353
00:12:10,302 --> 00:12:11,768
How's it going, employee?
354
00:12:11,836 --> 00:12:13,237
Pretty good, boss.
355
00:12:13,305 --> 00:12:14,505
Two soy lattes to go.
356
00:12:14,573 --> 00:12:15,506
Customer:
Merci beaucoup.
357
00:12:15,574 --> 00:12:17,140
Uh yeah,
we don't have soy milk.
358
00:12:17,208 --> 00:12:18,441
Oh, I know we don't.
359
00:12:18,509 --> 00:12:19,642
I just said that 'cause
they're allergic to dairy.
360
00:12:19,710 --> 00:12:21,444
I figure, what's the worst
that could happen?
361
00:12:21,512 --> 00:12:22,845
They could die.
362
00:12:22,913 --> 00:12:25,381
Oh. I meant what's the worst
that could happen to me.
363
00:12:29,152 --> 00:12:30,786
What happened to the rest
of Peter's special cupcakes?
364
00:12:30,854 --> 00:12:31,954
I sold them.
365
00:12:33,156 --> 00:12:36,157
You can't sell these!
They're drugged!
366
00:12:36,226 --> 00:12:37,959
Oh, yeah.
Whoops.
367
00:12:38,027 --> 00:12:39,160
(Lullaby plays)
368
00:12:41,997 --> 00:12:45,601
Woman: (Screams) Help! Help!I'm being robbed!
369
00:12:45,668 --> 00:12:47,869
Terry:Oh. Sleep heroics. Cool.
370
00:12:47,937 --> 00:12:48,970
Man:Excuse me.
371
00:12:49,038 --> 00:12:51,004
I'm looking for Dark Badger.
372
00:12:51,072 --> 00:12:53,073
Terry:
Dark Badger...
373
00:12:53,141 --> 00:12:55,209
Yeah, that should be
under "D."
374
00:12:56,411 --> 00:12:58,479
Yeah, I already checked
under "D."
375
00:12:58,547 --> 00:13:01,349
Right, then we'll check
under "B."
376
00:13:01,416 --> 00:13:02,650
Checked there, too.
377
00:13:02,718 --> 00:13:04,385
Well, you could have told me
that before I looked.
378
00:13:04,453 --> 00:13:07,454
You waste my time,
I waste yours.
379
00:13:10,524 --> 00:13:13,226
(Phone rings)
Hello?
380
00:13:13,294 --> 00:13:15,695
Peter: (On phone) What's wrong, Terry?Can't find Dark Badger?
381
00:13:15,763 --> 00:13:19,065
Did you check under "N"for nocturnal animals?
382
00:13:19,133 --> 00:13:21,433
Because you won't find itthere, either.
383
00:13:21,501 --> 00:13:22,568
It's only a matter of time
384
00:13:22,636 --> 00:13:24,637
before your begging me
to come back!
385
00:13:24,704 --> 00:13:27,706
No thanks,
I'll do just fine on my own.
386
00:13:31,210 --> 00:13:32,344
(Scary music)
Ah!
387
00:13:34,247 --> 00:13:35,481
What do you want?
388
00:13:38,450 --> 00:13:40,117
Why don't I guess...
389
00:13:40,185 --> 00:13:41,452
Dark Badger.
390
00:13:41,520 --> 00:13:43,521
All right,
I gotta think like Peter.
391
00:13:43,589 --> 00:13:45,955
Badgers are weasels,
weasels like fish,
392
00:13:46,023 --> 00:13:47,457
fish live in the sea.
393
00:13:47,525 --> 00:13:48,792
So, under "C"?
394
00:13:50,261 --> 00:13:51,127
Ha! Here it is.
395
00:13:52,397 --> 00:13:54,063
I can't believe
that actually worked.
396
00:13:54,131 --> 00:13:54,964
Yes I can.
397
00:13:56,768 --> 00:13:58,034
Damn it, it's sold out.
398
00:13:59,236 --> 00:14:00,803
(Scary music plays)
399
00:14:01,971 --> 00:14:03,306
Look, if you want to leave
your parents phone number,
400
00:14:03,373 --> 00:14:05,374
we can call you
when it comes in.
401
00:14:09,546 --> 00:14:13,081
Or you can keep staring at me
with your dead shark eyes.
402
00:14:17,986 --> 00:14:19,587
Hey, Mr. Old 'n' Creepy.
403
00:14:19,655 --> 00:14:22,223
You fold pants like a girl
with no hands.
404
00:14:22,291 --> 00:14:24,326
Inspirationally?
Good for her.
405
00:14:24,393 --> 00:14:25,694
Where's the security perv?
406
00:14:25,761 --> 00:14:27,696
Boyd?
Oh, he hired me.
407
00:14:27,763 --> 00:14:29,531
So, Bernie hired him
and he hired you?
408
00:14:29,598 --> 00:14:32,266
Yeah, yeah.
How long is his shift?
409
00:14:32,334 --> 00:14:33,567
He doesn't have a shift.
410
00:14:33,635 --> 00:14:35,302
He's busy being
a full-time loser.
411
00:14:35,370 --> 00:14:36,870
Oh yeah, a full-time loser
who's paying me
412
00:14:36,938 --> 00:14:38,238
nine bucks an hour.
413
00:14:38,306 --> 00:14:39,272
What?!
414
00:14:39,341 --> 00:14:41,241
Yeah, he wanted me
to let you know
415
00:14:41,309 --> 00:14:42,843
that I'm still making
more money than you.
416
00:14:42,910 --> 00:14:44,378
(Laughs)
Well...
417
00:14:45,580 --> 00:14:48,715
I just saw more vaginas
than you have all year.
418
00:14:48,782 --> 00:14:49,949
Hot.
419
00:14:53,920 --> 00:14:54,987
(Exhales, pants)
420
00:14:56,189 --> 00:14:59,492
(Into phone) Okay, I need some copies
of the Dark Badger now!
421
00:14:59,560 --> 00:15:01,627
I don't know how many.
What's the usual?
422
00:15:01,695 --> 00:15:03,363
(Scary music)
423
00:15:03,430 --> 00:15:04,830
They're multiplying!
424
00:15:04,897 --> 00:15:07,131
Send me everything you've got!
425
00:15:10,903 --> 00:15:13,372
So...who wants a cookie?
426
00:15:15,508 --> 00:15:17,843
C'mon, everyone likes cookies.
427
00:15:17,910 --> 00:15:19,010
Mmm...
428
00:15:19,078 --> 00:15:20,578
Yummy, yummy...
429
00:15:21,847 --> 00:15:24,081
(Phone rings)
(Flustered) Hello?
430
00:15:24,148 --> 00:15:25,783
Peter: (On phone)Hello, Terry, it's your brother.
431
00:15:25,851 --> 00:15:27,551
Say hi to the kids for me.
432
00:15:27,619 --> 00:15:30,588
All four of them.(Laughs maniacally)
433
00:15:30,655 --> 00:15:31,822
(Scary music)
Oh!
434
00:15:33,958 --> 00:15:36,659
Peter: (On phone) What's the matter, Terry?Is it getting hot in there?
435
00:15:36,727 --> 00:15:38,327
Perhaps a wizardcast a heat spell
436
00:15:38,396 --> 00:15:40,597
to punish youfor your misdeeds.
437
00:15:40,664 --> 00:15:42,231
You stay there!
438
00:15:42,299 --> 00:15:44,868
Peter: (On phone)Misdeeds! Misdeeds!
439
00:15:44,935 --> 00:15:46,569
(Maniacal laugh)
440
00:15:48,439 --> 00:15:49,839
(Maniacal laugh)
441
00:15:49,907 --> 00:15:51,808
What are you doing?
442
00:15:51,876 --> 00:15:52,841
Psychological warfare.
443
00:15:52,909 --> 00:15:54,410
That's my job.
444
00:15:58,848 --> 00:16:01,383
Tell me you brought me
a load of Dark Badger.
445
00:16:01,451 --> 00:16:02,651
Of course.
Oh, thank God.
446
00:16:02,719 --> 00:16:05,687
But, if the dark badger
you wish to see,
447
00:16:05,755 --> 00:16:08,823
first a riddle
you must answer me.
448
00:16:08,891 --> 00:16:11,559
Peter:(Maniacal laugh)
449
00:16:11,627 --> 00:16:12,460
Damn it.
450
00:16:15,130 --> 00:16:18,165
Can anybody help me solve
a very nerdy riddle?
451
00:16:18,233 --> 00:16:19,594
You... you sir.
452
00:16:19,714 --> 00:16:21,170
This seems right up your alley.
453
00:16:21,290 --> 00:16:22,839
Do you know anything
about Dark B-
454
00:16:23,878 --> 00:16:25,939
Ahhh!
(Scary music)
455
00:16:26,006 --> 00:16:27,593
Stop doing that!
456
00:16:29,243 --> 00:16:29,984
Bernie...
457
00:16:30,112 --> 00:16:31,680
You want to pour some coffee?
458
00:16:31,747 --> 00:16:33,348
Or, at least,
stand next to the machine?
459
00:16:33,416 --> 00:16:35,317
- I'm on break.
- Again?
460
00:16:35,384 --> 00:16:36,305
It's way too hot to work.
461
00:16:36,425 --> 00:16:37,819
Do you think you could
get me a cold drink?
462
00:16:37,886 --> 00:16:39,087
Break's over.
463
00:16:39,154 --> 00:16:40,387
Terry, come on.
464
00:16:40,455 --> 00:16:42,089
I'm working two jobs right now.
465
00:16:42,156 --> 00:16:45,359
Technically...
You're not working any.
466
00:16:45,427 --> 00:16:47,861
Wow. You're a real
slave driver.
467
00:16:47,929 --> 00:16:50,464
I don't know how Peter did it.
468
00:16:50,532 --> 00:16:52,633
Comic guy:I have another riddle for you.
469
00:16:52,701 --> 00:16:55,202
Somebody, I shan't say who,
470
00:16:55,270 --> 00:16:59,071
has clogged your toilet
with a number two.
471
00:17:00,807 --> 00:17:01,641
Perfect.
472
00:17:04,211 --> 00:17:05,245
(Groans)
473
00:17:05,312 --> 00:17:07,747
(Phone rings)Hello?
474
00:17:07,814 --> 00:17:08,848
Peter: (On phone)Bathroom troubles?
475
00:17:08,915 --> 00:17:10,816
Peter, stop doing this!
476
00:17:10,884 --> 00:17:13,485
If you're not going to help me,
just leave me alone!
477
00:17:13,553 --> 00:17:15,086
Peter: (On phone)Fine, I'll help you.
478
00:17:15,154 --> 00:17:18,724
Have you triedjiggling the handle?
479
00:17:18,791 --> 00:17:20,592
(Flames whoosh)
Whoa!
480
00:17:20,660 --> 00:17:22,026
How is that even possible?
481
00:17:22,094 --> 00:17:22,728
Peter: (On phone)
What happened? What happened?
482
00:17:22,795 --> 00:17:24,996
Fire, Peter! Fire!
483
00:17:25,064 --> 00:17:26,197
Peter: (On phone)Cool...
484
00:17:26,266 --> 00:17:27,366
Is it supposed to do that?
485
00:17:27,433 --> 00:17:29,600
Nothing is supposed to do that.
486
00:17:30,802 --> 00:17:31,835
Candi:
You better turn around
487
00:17:31,903 --> 00:17:34,037
and you better be
the super-nerd.
488
00:17:34,105 --> 00:17:37,007
(Laughs) Oh, hilarious.
And let me guess.
489
00:17:37,075 --> 00:17:39,277
You probably make
8.50 an hour?
490
00:17:39,344 --> 00:17:40,878
Que?
Don't you guys get it?
491
00:17:40,945 --> 00:17:42,713
I don't care that you
make more money than me.
492
00:17:42,781 --> 00:17:44,314
As long as I get to
insult you all day,
493
00:17:44,382 --> 00:17:46,916
I win.
Que?
494
00:17:46,984 --> 00:17:48,485
Where are we gonna
start with you?
495
00:17:48,552 --> 00:17:50,953
You have worse hair
than a prison lesbian.
496
00:17:51,021 --> 00:17:53,156
Que?
I'm insulting your hair.
497
00:17:53,223 --> 00:17:55,057
No hablo inglais.
498
00:17:55,125 --> 00:17:58,561
Wait. You don't understand
my awesome insults?
499
00:17:58,629 --> 00:18:00,096
How am I supposed
to hurt your feelings?
500
00:18:00,164 --> 00:18:01,930
(Realizing gasp)
501
00:18:07,804 --> 00:18:09,137
I've tried everything.
502
00:18:09,205 --> 00:18:10,906
I can't figure out
your stupid Dark Badger riddle.
503
00:18:10,973 --> 00:18:13,141
So, unless the answer
is actually Dark Badger-
504
00:18:13,209 --> 00:18:14,276
Correct, sir!
505
00:18:14,344 --> 00:18:15,611
What? Really?
506
00:18:15,679 --> 00:18:18,078
Hahaha!
Excellent work, young one.
507
00:18:18,146 --> 00:18:20,247
I bestow upon thee...
508
00:18:21,383 --> 00:18:23,551
The Laurel of Azmaldian.
509
00:18:24,820 --> 00:18:27,555
Well... I really do it
for the Laurels...
510
00:18:27,623 --> 00:18:29,890
These comics are
all the reward I need.
511
00:18:29,958 --> 00:18:32,959
And now, riddle the second!
512
00:18:33,027 --> 00:18:35,094
Spiderman is on a train
leaving New York City
513
00:18:35,162 --> 00:18:36,996
at 55 miles per hour...
514
00:18:37,064 --> 00:18:38,699
(Screaming)
Nooooooo...
515
00:18:38,766 --> 00:18:40,567
(Phone rings)
516
00:18:40,635 --> 00:18:42,336
(Screaming)
Helllloooo?
517
00:18:42,403 --> 00:18:43,603
Peter: (On phone)What in the world's wrong, Terry?
518
00:18:43,671 --> 00:18:45,505
I can't take it anymore, Peter.
519
00:18:45,573 --> 00:18:48,074
I need you here.
Please come back!
520
00:18:48,142 --> 00:18:51,176
Peter: What? You couldn't make it
past riddle the second?
521
00:18:51,244 --> 00:18:52,244
I can't do-
522
00:18:53,413 --> 00:18:55,214
I can't do this.
523
00:18:55,281 --> 00:18:56,716
I can't run the store
without you.
524
00:18:56,783 --> 00:18:57,916
Ha! I knew it.
525
00:18:57,984 --> 00:18:58,751
So you'll come back?
526
00:18:58,819 --> 00:19:00,085
Uh, not so fast.
527
00:19:00,153 --> 00:19:02,655
There is the matter
of the little wage discrepancy?
528
00:19:02,723 --> 00:19:04,022
Fine, you get a 25 cent raise.
529
00:19:04,090 --> 00:19:05,089
We're even.
530
00:19:05,157 --> 00:19:07,058
As if I'm gonna take
the first offer!
531
00:19:07,125 --> 00:19:08,192
All right, how about
a ten cent raise?
532
00:19:08,260 --> 00:19:09,927
Done!
533
00:19:09,995 --> 00:19:11,363
No deal.
534
00:19:11,430 --> 00:19:13,631
Fine.
25 cents it is.
535
00:19:13,699 --> 00:19:14,666
Perfect.
536
00:19:14,734 --> 00:19:15,933
Now, I'm gonna head
back inside,
537
00:19:16,001 --> 00:19:17,168
you can deal
with the riddler here.
538
00:19:17,236 --> 00:19:18,135
See you next year.
539
00:19:18,203 --> 00:19:19,371
Peter:
Oh, I won't be long.
540
00:19:19,438 --> 00:19:20,771
I believe I have
all the answers
541
00:19:20,839 --> 00:19:23,741
to his riddles right here.
542
00:19:23,808 --> 00:19:26,243
Five bucks?
He wanted a bribe?
543
00:19:26,310 --> 00:19:27,944
Yeah.
It's business, Terry.
544
00:19:28,012 --> 00:19:30,614
It's how things work
in the real world.
545
00:19:30,682 --> 00:19:31,515
I'm keeping this.
546
00:19:34,582 --> 00:19:39,700
Candi:
Usted blar ropa como un cobarde.
547
00:19:39,820 --> 00:19:40,657
What are you doing?
548
00:19:40,777 --> 00:19:42,536
(Gasp)
Thank God it's you. I mean...
549
00:19:42,758 --> 00:19:45,056
I thought it smelled old
in here.
550
00:19:45,521 --> 00:19:48,123
I finally realized
just how easy this job is.
551
00:19:48,190 --> 00:19:50,625
Also, I want my full paycheck.
552
00:19:50,692 --> 00:19:52,827
Also, Terry fired me.
553
00:19:52,895 --> 00:19:54,662
You think I'll just
take you back?
554
00:19:54,730 --> 00:19:55,863
Think you can find
a better employee
555
00:19:55,931 --> 00:19:58,066
who's an easier target?
556
00:19:58,134 --> 00:19:59,699
Welcome back.
557
00:19:59,767 --> 00:20:01,935
You know why dogs like
to lick your face, Bernie?
558
00:20:02,003 --> 00:20:03,137
Why?
559
00:20:03,204 --> 00:20:05,372
Because it looks
like their balls.
560
00:20:05,440 --> 00:20:06,650
It's good to have you back.
561
00:20:08,443 --> 00:20:09,576
Fold this.
562
00:20:14,176 --> 00:20:15,915
Peter:
There you go.
563
00:20:15,982 --> 00:20:17,050
And that is that.
564
00:20:18,101 --> 00:20:20,486
Terry: Why are they still here?
They have the comics.
565
00:20:20,554 --> 00:20:23,056
Are they gonna set me on firewith their minds?
566
00:20:23,123 --> 00:20:24,890
Peter:No, but when they form a cluster,
567
00:20:24,958 --> 00:20:28,961
it takes more than mere comics
to disperse them.
568
00:20:29,029 --> 00:20:31,796
There's a secret
known to only those
569
00:20:31,864 --> 00:20:34,699
who sit perched behind
the comic book counter.
570
00:20:34,767 --> 00:20:37,169
It's a magical,
mystical secret.
571
00:20:38,371 --> 00:20:39,571
Get outta here!
572
00:20:39,638 --> 00:20:40,472
Or I'll hit youwith this broom!
573
00:20:40,540 --> 00:20:41,606
Come on! Ya! Ya!
574
00:20:42,775 --> 00:20:43,608
A broom.
575
00:20:44,977 --> 00:20:46,844
Well, Peter...
576
00:20:46,912 --> 00:20:47,911
You were right,
577
00:20:47,979 --> 00:20:49,547
I can't run this store
without you.
578
00:20:49,614 --> 00:20:52,416
From now on,
we make the same, okay?
579
00:20:52,484 --> 00:20:53,650
And...?
580
00:20:53,718 --> 00:20:56,653
And I will put Pete's picks
back up.
581
00:20:57,822 --> 00:20:59,422
And...?
582
00:20:59,490 --> 00:21:00,356
And...
583
00:21:01,793 --> 00:21:05,662
I bestow upon thee
the Laurel of Azmaldian.
584
00:21:06,931 --> 00:21:09,199
And peace returns
to the kingdom.
585
00:21:09,266 --> 00:21:10,633
Yes.
586
00:21:10,701 --> 00:21:14,637
And I shall lead us
to a new age of prosperity...
587
00:21:15,806 --> 00:21:17,506
A golden age...
588
00:21:17,574 --> 00:21:19,675
Where people will look at me
as their leader and say...
589
00:21:19,743 --> 00:21:23,856
Yeah, he is glorious!
Terry?
590
00:21:23,976 --> 00:21:34,118
Sync & corrected by honeybunny
www.addic7ed.com
41621
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