All language subtitles for The.Four.Seasons.1981.1080p.WEBRip.x264.AAC-[YTS.MX]

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(CAR HONKING)

(PEOPLE CHATTERING)

Here they come.

(CAR HONKING)

(POLICE CAR SIREN WAILING)

KATE: Hi.

ANNE: Hi, Kate.

Hi, Anne.

JACK: Here, let me take that.
I'll get that out of your way.

-Kate?
-KATE: Hi, babe.

(CAR HONKS)

Oh, look at this.

No, don't do that.
It's for tomorrow.

Well,
for him there's no tomorrow.

Jack, control yourself.
Please.

Hey, what are you doing?

I waited 20 minutes in
line for that. Come on.

All right. Give me
some of that. Come on.

(ALL LAUGHING)

Are we all here?

ALL: Yeah. Let's go.

(HONKING)

(DOOR CLOSES)

Hey!

(ALL SNICKERING)

NICK: The guy is
going away for a weekend

and he's bringing
his whole wardrobe.

(ALL LAUGHING)

NICK: Be careful.

DANNY: Don't worry
about the eggplants.

I got five of them.

JACK: You got five eggplants?

What do you mean,
the baby ones?

Baby ones?
They're like salamis.

(NICK SNICKERS)

NICK: 13 eggplants.

KATE:
Isn't that kind of a lot?

You can never have
too many eggplants.

-Hi, how are you?
-Hi.

Claudia's at her studio.

Turn left on Christopher,
right on Hudson.

(ALL CHUCKLING)

DANNY: Hey,
what happened to the bread?

What is this,
you started without me?

(CAR HONKS)

DANNY: Need help?

I'm okay.

JACK: Hi, Claudia.

Hi.

ANNE: Hi, Claudia.

DANNY: You brought your work.

I stopped my work
for the weekend.

Danny, please.
You're a dentist.

DANNY: Do you hear this?

I can sculpt a bicuspid
that would fool God himself,

but I'm just a dentist.

JACK: Do we...
Do we have any ginger?

DANNY: I got two pounds of
ginger and a pound of garlic.

KATE: Anne,
didn't you have a tree there?

ANNE:
Yeah, but we just...
We had to cut it down.

I miss it. You could
see it from the bedroom.

JACK:
Hey, we have locks, right?

NICK: Two locks.
A big lock and a little lock.

ANNE:
Oh, I love those flowers.

NICK: I forgot my cleaver.

JACK: That's all right,
I got a cleaver.

CLAUDIA:
Would you believe this?

They've been organizing
this one meal for two weeks?

KATE: I believe it.

(MEN LAUGHING)

(DOOR CLOSES)

KATE: God, look at that.

CLAUDIA: Wait a minute.
Look at this.
How did you trace this?

KATE:
What do you do,
throw them up in the air?

ANNE: I took a piece of glass

put the vegetables on
the glass, and I got...

KATE: Wait.
That's... That one I want.

CLAUDIA:
Oh, isn't that gorgeous?

KATE:
Is this the way this goes?

ANNE: Yes.

KATE: It looks like a face.

ANNE:
It does looks like a face.

KATE:
The nose, the eyes, the ears.

Did you try
the Pegasus Gallery in SoHo?

Yes. I just...
I can't believe that man.

(CLATTERING)

I just... I told him
that I had been working

on this series of
pictures for three years,

and do you know what he said?

He said, "Three years
photographing vegetables?

"Don't you think that's
a little constipated?"

Do you believe that?

Well, that all
depends on the vegetables.

(MEN COUGHING)

DANNY: What you
gonna do with the cover?

Take it off.
Please take it off.

The chili pepper's cooking.
They have to be charred.

Okay. It will be charred.

Oh, come on.

(UTENSILS CLATTERING)

(BOTH LAUGHING)

Cook or laugh, what is this?

Well, do something with it.
Pour water on it.

Pour water on hot oil.
You're kidding, right?

My eyes are tearing.
I can't see what I'm doing.

We're gonna have
chopped knuckles
and hot garlic sauce.

-Here, here.
-I really can't see.

Wait. Come here, come here.
How is that? Is that better?

Oh, terrific.

You rubbed it in real good.
I'm blind.

The oil's not hot enough.

Then why have I
lost my eyesight?

It's not hot enough.

You cannot cook Chinese food
unless the oil is 480 degrees.

-Oh, damn.
-It's a scientific fact.

Did Einstein say that?

Newton. Isaac Newton.
The inventor of Mu Shu Pork.

(BOTH GUFFAWING)

-Hey, Anne?
-Mmm-hmm?

The magazine is doing a piece

on the top 10
executives in the country.

How would you like to
photograph them for us?

Oh, God,
I'd love to be in Fortune.

(EXCLAIMS)

When do you need them?

By July.

(MEN CHATTERING)

You mean of this year?

Anne,
that's two months from now.

(MEN LAUGHING)

Yes, dear, I know that.

(STAMMERING) I just...

I don't work that fast.

Anne, how are you ever
going to get published?

You have to move.

What's the matter with you?

Just do a story on
the top 10
broccoli in the country.

Chicken salad.
You got the rice things?

JACK: Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Do it now
and they'll all be
ready at the same time.

I've got this timed
out scientifically.

Yes, sir.

Watch this.
Watch this. You ready?

Yeah. Watch out.

Watch this. Here we go.

(ALL EXCLAIMING)

JACK: Isn't that beautiful?

DANNY: That's incredible.

Okay. First course.

(WOMEN EXCLAIMING)

(ALL CHATTERING)

And Chinese beer.

Bravo!

-Bravo!
-Bravo!

DANNY: Thank you.

KATE:
Did you leave out the MSG?

No MSG.
Grab your sticks and eat.

Here's some rice.
Pass it around.

Wait, wait.
Start with the appetizers.

That's the chicken salad.

Oh, my God, Danny.
That's fantastic.

Wait. Pass it around!

(ALL CHATTERING)

Danny's my genius!

The shrimp is incredible.

Okay. I have a toast.

Toast. To Nick and Anne.

Yeah.

And to this dinner
which is wonderful.

Watch it, watch it, watch it.

And to the reason
we're here tonight.

JACK: Not just to
celebrate your anniversary,

but to that deeper thing
that brings us
all close together.

To what bonds us, and...

And makes us huddle against
the cold winds of divorce

that have blown through
the lives of our friends.

Oh, that's lovely.

-Really nice.
-DANNY: Nice, nice.

Thanks, Jack.

ANNE: May I say something?

JACK: Yes.

I just wanna say that I...

That was the most
depressing goddamn toast

that I have ever
heard in my life.

(ALL LAUGHING)

Why? Why?

JACK: What's wrong with that?

He got to the heart of it.

He faced it.
He told us his fears.

That's why we're here.

That's why I'm in analysis,
you know.

It's not why
I'm eating dinner.

DANNY:
Well, I think he's right.

That's what
brought us together.

I don't get this close
with all my patients.

We didn't meet through you.

-Sure we did!
-Oh!

We did! We did!

Didn't I do some
legal work for you?

Then we all got to
know one another,
started going out together.

No. I remember going
over your statement.

We did not meet
through the men at all.

No. They think everything
revolves around them.

Anne is absolutely right.

You and I,

we met at a women's
photographers exhibition

and then Anne and I
met Claudia at an art gallery.

You didn't get at their teeth
until months later.

Uh, we met seven years ago.

It was the third week...
Thank you.

The third week in July.

And my first appointment
with Danny was,
uh, for a filling.

It was, uh, September 8,

(STUTTERING)

and it was a Wednesday.

How can you remember that?

Oh, uh,
I remember things like that

because I feel
they're important.

Look, the point is
what brings us together.

-Right. That's the point.
-DANNY: Right?

JACK: That's the point.

We owe the depth, breadth
and height of this friendship

to the world's
most ancient emotions,

fear and panic.

(ALL LAUGHING)

Am I right? Am I right?

-I love you.
-Am I right?

Listen, I spent
three hours buying this

and four hours chopping
it into little pieces.

I'm not just gonna eat it,
I'm gonna make love to it.

You keep talking.
I'll eat yours.

(ALL EXCLAIMING)

Wait. Come on. Cut it out.

(FENDER RATTLING)

Come on,
he's down in the orchard.

I... I can't get this
damn fender straightened.

I'll see you down there.

Yeah.

(FENDER THUDDING)

(ENGINE REVVING)

(YELLS)

Hey, you look great.

Don't get too close.
Watch your foot.

Come on. I'll race you.

I'm going fast enough.
I just wanna dry my hair.

Come on.
We'll see who gets
to the house first.

Let's just see if
we can get there.
How about that?

Hey, you want a helmet?

Of course I want a helmet.

Oh, that's better.
That's nice.

Hey, Danny!

Hey! You wanna race?

DANNY: No.

NICK: Come on.
Let's race a little.

DANNY: Look,
leave me alone, will you?

JACK:
You look great on that thing.

NICK: Come on.
What do you say?

DANNY: I don't wanna race!

JACK: Good. You ready?

Go!

JACK: Go, Danny. Go! Go! Go!

Whoa!

Watch out! Watch out!

I won!

(ALL LAUGHING)

I won!
I did it! I did it! I won!

DANNY: I won! I won!

What happened?
Are you all right?

Yeah, I'm fine. Are you okay?

I am the greatest!

The sexy dentist won!

I won!

Danny, you're wonderful!
I love you!

(LAUGHING)

(BIRDS CHIRPING)

Hey, how about
Indian food next time?

We can...
We can make our
own mango chutney,

we can fry a little chapati.

NICK: How about Indonesian?
We could do
a whole rice table.

Oh, yeah. That will be great.

CLAUDIA: I'd love that.

DANNY:
Wait a minute. Wait a minute.
I think I got it.

What?

It's 1:00.

Homemade pasta...

Yeah?

...Florentine chicken...

Mmm-hmm.

...on a...
On a bed of spinach.

Oh, yeah.

And a hot antipasto of mussels
in marinara sauce.
How about that?

-(ALL EXCLAIMING)
-Is that good?

Danny, please. I'm Italian.

Oh, you don't think
we can do it, huh?

Didn't we make
a great Chinese
meal last night?

Yeah. Well,
look, we're not Chinese.
You know?

By us it was Chinese.
What do we know?

(ALL LAUGHING)

Danny, please. She's Italian.

Yeah.

I can make a better
sauce than your mother.

My poor mother has arthritis.

Of course you make
a better sauce than her.

Before her arthritis.

(JACK GUFFAWING)

Will you guys shut up?
You're depressing the birds.

(LAUGHING)

How's your leg?

Oh, fine.

I've been banged up so many
times I hardly even notice it.

In college he played
football with a broken wrist

and then two big
guys picked him
up and threw him on his head

and he was
unconscious for three hours.

(EXCLAIMS)
Those were the days.

(BOTH LAUGHING)

Hey. Hey.

Listen to the water
lapping against
the sides of the boat.

(SIGHS)

To be with
friends sipping wine,

this is what it
is to be happy.

This,
and being incredibly rich.

(ALL LAUGHING)

I'm a lifetime member
of Equitable's
Million Dollar Roundtable.

Give me some cheese, will you?

I'm one of the most
successful estate
planners in New York.

But that's nothing
compared to this.

Nick, please.
I wish that you would relax.

Please. He's always selling.

What are you talking about?

You're an estate planner?

You're an insurance salesman.

-(ALL GIGGLING)
-NICK: I don't plan estates?

I'm not on
the Million Dollar Roundtable?

Oh. Do you know what you get
for being in
the Million Dollar Roundtable?

-What?
-What?

A plastic
statue and a weekend,

a weekend
at the La Cucaracha
Hotel in Puerto Rico.

-What are you doing?
-(ALL EXCLAIMING)

I'm gonna make a toast.

Again? Not another one?

Here's to us.

Here's to apple trees,

to cheese...

Here's to cheese?

(ALL EXCLAIMING)

...and wine and
friends and laughter,

(ALL LAUGHING)

and life itself.

That's beautiful. Sit down.

(ALL LAUGHING)

Carefully.

-(ALL LAUGHING)
-Oh, shit.

DANNY: What, again?

I don't want to let
this afternoon disappear

without something
to remember it by.

Some memorial of our
affection for one another.

Yeah. Terrific.

But just don't
wave your arms, okay?

This is for all of you
so that we'll
never forget this day.

NICK: Yeah.

(ALL SCREAMING)

(ALL LAUGHING)

I don't believe it!

What are you
doing in the lake?

(ALL SCREECHING)

All right. I accept that
gesture from my friend.

He's not gonna be
alone in doing it.

(ALL GIGGLING)

My only regret is that
I'm not wearing my $500 suit.

(ALL SCREAMING)

I'll just jump
in with my bread.

(ALL HOOTING)

(ALL EXCLAIMING)

(ALL CHATTERING)

(BIRDS CHIRPING)

NICK: Hey, uh...

JACK: Hey.

You all right?

Sure.

You look distracted.

I'm okay.

You know,

I think we're close enough to
say anything to each other.

Really. Anything.

You and Kate happy?

(BRANCH CRACKING)

Yeah. Very.

I mean, happy.

Can you honestly say
you're really happy?

Yeah, but not every minute.

It comes in waves.

At times you hit lows
and you can't stand
things about each other.

Like the way her
teeth click when she eats.

The way I smell my sweatshirt
before I put it on.

Sometimes we drive
each other crazy.

And then there are times

we go through a period
like the one we're in now.

It comes over us
like an unexpected wave,
puppy love.

I can't wait to see her.

And then when I'm with her
my heart beats faster.

I'd expect it with
somebody who's a stranger,

but not somebody I've
spent half my life with.

It's wonderful.

I wish I could feel that.

Oh, you will. It'll come back.
Just give it time.

No. I've never felt it.

(SIGHS)

I shouldn't have married Anne.

I was crazy as a kid.

I figured
she'd be some kind
of stability for me.

(SNORTS)

Well, she certainly is stable.

I mean, she's a decent woman,
she's a good mother,

but she doesn't do anything.

Doesn't think anything.

I've never heard one
stimulating idea come out of
her mouth ever.

When she took up photography,

I thought, finally
she's gonna do something.

She spent three years
photographing vegetables.

(BIRDS CHIRPING)

She's not just stable,
she's inert.

So work on it with her.
Talk to her about it.

Jack, I've tried for 20 years.
I get nothing.

Do you know how painful it is
to want to love someone?

You've no idea how
lonely I've been.

Look at her. Look at her.

(NICK SNORTS)

NICK: She gets
obsessed with things.

She'll pace up and
down all day long

with the same thought,
turning it over and over

in her head.

She remembers the day
she got her tooth filled.

Can you remember that?

Christ. I can barely remember
the first time I got laid.

I come home from
a day's selling,

she wants to
talk about her work.

Fine. You know
what she talks about?

Vegetables.

For a year and a half
we talked about zucchini.

Then for a year,
green peppers.

That was a nice change.

(LAUGHS)

Last night was
the end of 21 years.

And that's enough.

Today's the beginning
of a new life for me.

What?

That's it. It's over.

(BIRD CHIRPING)

You can't just quit.
What... What are you...

What are you talking about?
What's the matter with you?

I want to make a new start.
I want a new family.

What about your old family?

Lisa's 18.
She can handle this.

I want a woman I
can be excited by.

You've got
somebody else, don't you?

You got somebody
waiting in the wings.

No, I don't. I swear I don't
have anybody
waiting in the wings.

Why are you making
this so difficult for me?

I thought I could
tell you anything.

(BIRD CHIRPING)

How can you
just throw her away
after 21 years like this?

I mean, what is she
supposed to do now?

Oh, boy.

I thought if I told you,
you'd be happy for me.

I even had this fantasy that
you'd handle the divorce.

That I would
handle the divorce?

In the first place,
I'm not a divorce lawyer,

and if I were,
I'd probably represent Anne.

I can't believe
you would do this.

Jack, please.

This is the hardest thing
I've ever gone
through in my life.

All right. I'm sorry.

Oh, God.
Nick, this is awful. Jesus.

Come on, let's go.

(ALL CHATTERING)

Want some more of these?

Oh, yes.
Thank you. Good, good.

You know,
beans are very
much misunderstood.

They have a complex
set of amino acids.

If you eat beans
together with rice,
you never have to eat meat.

Danny loves to
talk about beans.

Go ahead, sweetheart. Talk.

It's the combination that
counts.
Here, you want some of these?

NICK: Yeah, I do.

You know, I've been
thinking about that.

JACK: About what?

Photographing
vegetables in combinations,

not just one at a time.
You know?

(STAMMERS)

I'm not sure yet.

KATE: Hey, I did some research
on sailboats for the summer.

DANNY: That's great.

Already?

We only talked about
it a couple of days ago.

I got it in here someplace.
Here it is.

Nick,
you ought to check this out.

You're
the sailor in the group.

DANNY: Where did you
get all this stuff?

Called a couple
of boat brokers.

-No kidding.
-JACK: Let me see one.

We can rent one in St. Thomas
and sail around the islands

and fly home.
The whole thing
will take two weeks.

This woman's fantastic.

Nick, isn't this beautiful?

I'd just love a boat.

Oh, is that the galley?

Yes.

And you know what?

I think it looks... It
looks a little small to me.

CLAUDIA: Gorgeous.

DANNY: Yeah, right.

Oh, I...
I think we'll manage
very well, don't you?

Oh, I think it's beautiful.

Oh, look at that.

(RAIN PATTERING)

(THUNDER RUMBLING)

(SIGHS)

Can't you sleep?

Nick is getting a divorce.

How do you know?

He told me yesterday when
we were getting firewood.

Jeez.

Is there somebody else?

He says there isn't.

Why does he have to leave her?
Why can't they fight it out?

(THUNDER RUMBLING)

Hold me?

(SEAGULLS CAWING)

Good morning.

You got up early.

Oh, God.
It's gorgeous down there.

-Yeah?
-There's this enormous turtle.

You didn't try to
ride him, did you?

Ride a turtle that big?
Are you kidding?

I was thinking of it,
but I got scared.

Oh. Good morning.

(SIGHS)

Hey,
could you sleep last night?

Not very well.
What is it with them?

I don't know, boy.

Oh,
I thought I smelled coffee.

Good morning, Danny.

Thank you.
Good morning. How are you?

(ALL CHATTERING)

It's great.

Oh, my God. Daylight.

Claudia thinks she's seasick.

Are you?

No.

I'm just trying out
this new green makeup.

Claudia, you're not nauseated.

Danny, how come
you're allowed to have

all these
psychosomatic illnesses,

but when I throw up
into my tote bag at
2:00 in the morning,

it's just my imagination?

Did anyone sleep last night?

You're kidding, right?

With all those mating calls
coming from
the master bedroom?

All night long.

I mean, who could have guessed

that it would
be so distressing

to listen to
other people humping?

NICK: Hi, gang.

-Good morning.
-Morning.

(EXCLAIMS)

(SEAGULLS CAWING)

What a morning!

Oh, boy, smell that air. Huh?

Yeah.

Now, this is how
the whole world should live.

Uh-huh?

I slept like
a baby last night.

Wasn't that a great night?

Oh, yeah. It was great. Yeah.

Wasn't it peaceful
bobbing around on
the water like that?

Yeah, well, some parts of the
boat bobbed more than others.

(CHUCKLES)

Hey, honey, throw on
your suit and come on up!

Coffee's on.

-Hi!
-KATE: Good morning.

CLAUDIA: Good morning.

Did anybody hear anything
about the weather?

NICK:
Oh, yeah, did you
listen to the radio yet?

JACK: Yeah,
it's supposed to be clear.

NICK: What do you
say after breakfast,
we head for St. Croix?

Wait a minute.
You wanna move the boat?

(BOTH LAUGHING)

Come on,
once you get used to it

you'll be
the most intrepid
sailor of the bunch.

I don't see how
we're gonna go anywhere

unless we can
get the anchor up.

-Well, we'll just pull it up.
-Pull it up?

Isn't that why we had
to stay here last night,

because we couldn't
pull the anchor up?

Nah, if the three
of us give it a yank,
it'll come up. Come on.

You boys go pull on
your anchor for a while.
We'll be back here.

If that anchor comes up
out of the water,
there is no God.

(SIGHS)

Nick just amazes me.

I mean, he's so accomplished.

He can sail.
He knows how to choose wines.

Do you know that
he's just about

the most successful
estate planner in New York?

Is that so?

GINNY: Yeah.

He's a life member in
the Million Dollar Roundtable.

I hear they send you
to Puerto Rico for that.

Oh, yeah.
He goes all over the place.

(LAUGHS)

We met on my flight to L.A.

I sat with him
for an hour after
the dinner service and...

God,
I had just never met anybody

who knew so much
about actuarial tables.

He's a charmer.

(LAUGHS) Yeah.

How about Danny?
Has he been sailing long?

(LAUGHING)

No.

GINNY: Well, how about Jack?

Jack saw Two
Years Before
The Mast when he was 12.

NICK: One, two, heave ho!

Come on.
We're not gonna make it.

JACK: This is like
pulling a building.

Okay. Come on.
Danny, watch your foot.

Watch out. Watch out.

It's stuck on something.

There's a big plant
down there or something.

I'll run her over.
Tell me when it's vertical.

-You're gonna what?
-I'm gonna
start up the engine.

You tell me when this rope
is straight up and down, okay?

Do you know what
the hell he's talking about?

(SEAGULLS CAWING)

Hey.

What?

Maybe we
shouldn't go anywhere.

Everybody's worried
that we don't know
what we're doing.

I know what I'm doing.

Hey, your nose is getting red.
You better put
something on it.

Well, I just think that
if anybody's nervous about it

we should stop
and talk about...

(GASPS)

What is this?

(ENGINE RUMBLING)

I don't know. Open it up.

Oh, my God.

Shalimar?

Oh, my God.

You are the sweetest man.

Look at this.

GINNY: He's given me a present
every single day
since we left St. Thomas.

You could make me
fall in love with
you pretty easily.

You mean it could get worse?

Excuse me.

Okay. I'm gonna move
her up. Tell me when.

(ENGINE HUMMING)

(ENGINE REVVING)

More, more, more.

More, more.

More, more, more, more...

Hold it.

NICK: Thank you.

You don't have to worry about
the anchor anymore.

Come here.

You want us down there?

NICK: Yes.

At that end of the boat?

Come here and ready this sail.

Come on, Ollie.

They're really gonna move it.

I doubt it.

JACK: Okay,
what do you want us to do?

I want you to
raise the mizzen.

DANNY: I'll close the lid.

Close the lid,
we'll kill ourselves.

Close the hatch.

DANNY: Where will I stand?

Right there.
Just pull on the rope
like we did yesterday.

-I got it. I got it.
-Like yesterday.

Okay.
I got the ribbons out here.

-KATE: Ribbons?
-The gaskets.

I'm pulling the ropes.

-Okay.
-Okay?

(CREAKING)

There she goes!

(YELLS)

(ALL EXCLAIMING)

Jack!

CLAUDIA: Oh, my God!

Here. Grab that.

KATE: Are you all right?

What the hell are
you trying to do?

Here, take this line.

Oh, my God. The boat's moving.

DANNY: What? What?

Turn the wheel.

Not on my boat.
Don't touch anything!

Turn the wheel.

(BOAT RUMBLING)

(ALL SCREAMING)

CLAUDIA: Jesus Christ!

You go ahead, folks.
I'll catch up.

DANNY: What's that?
I think we're stuck.

She's gone aground.
We're on a sandbar.

KATE: On the ground?

NICK: We're stuck.
Yeah. Look at that.

KATE: Oh, shit.

-Excuse me.
-Excuse me.

Sorry.

(EXCLAIMS)

I'll just get
these into the water.

Oh, Jesus! They're so dirty.

Look, my lettuce water.

I gotta clean them.

(CHATTERING)

Oh, now, wait a minute,
wait a minute,
wait a minute, No salt, okay?

Just put the salt

on the sides
of whoever wants to
poison themselves.

He doesn't eat salt.

Salt is bad for you?

I haven't used salt
or mucus
products for three years

and I feel just great.

Who eats mucus?

He means cheese and milk.

Danny, say what you mean,
will you please?

You're talking to humans here.

Don't worry about it, Danny.
This recipe
doesn't call for mucus.

-GINNY: Excuse me.
-Got a knife?

JACK: Where's a knife?

Excuse me.

I think I'm gonna
die from the sun.

Why does my nose
always have to bother me?

Here,
Danny, let me get in here.

I got something
that'll make you feel better.

Here you go. You put this...

-Oh, no, no, no.
-What?

You're not gonna put
that green,
thorny thing on my nose.

For God's sakes.
You take the jelly out of it.

It's an aloe plant.
It'll make it just fine.

-(SCREAMS)
-What?

You stabbed me
with that
goddamn Hawaiian plant.

CLAUDIA: Be careful.

I'm sorry.
It's crowded in here.

Excuse me.
Would you excuse me, please?

(OBJECT THUDDING)

I'm doing the best I can.

CLAUDIA: Well,
don't put it in my lettuce.

Okay.

Jack and Kate owe Nick and me
$123 each for provisions,

except for the wine and beer
which Nick brought,

which everybody
owes him $47 each for.

Why don't we just subtract
the $47 from the $123?

No, no, no, no, no.
That's gonna screw it up.

I've worked this
out very carefully.

And I'd just like to
tell you that we are now

$350 over budget each.

All right, all right.

I don't see any trip
to St. Croix

unless we have
a meeting first.

I don't picture us seeing
St. Croix unless it floats by.

(SIGHS)

I can't believe
he brought her.

How could he do that to Anne?

How could he do it to us?

But she's really nice,
you know.

I mean, I like her.

She's wonderful.

I can't even enjoy hating her.

Who the hell needs that?

Danny is driving me crazy.

He has to be
the expert on everything.

What's the matter with him?

He's very needy. That's all.

Needy?

He's hypochondriacal,
stingy, bossy, selfish,

compulsive and paranoid.

He's the Muhammad
Ali of mental illness.

Shh. Quiet.

Look, if they don't want me
to keep the finances, I won't.

But there's
something wrong with them.

These people are vicious.
They're ill.

We're traveling with
a group of ill people.

I just can't believe
that he would bring
her on the boat with us.

Every time I
make a suggestion,

every time I say something
they're ignorant of,

do you see the way
they look at each other?

They discuss me
behind my back.

I mean, she walks around
with that hanky on her hips

that's supposed to
be a bathing suit.

Oh, God.

I get so depressed
every time I look at her.

These people are vicious.
Vicious and ill.

(NICK AND GINNY LAUGHING)

(GINNY MOANING)

I don't believe it.
They're at it again.

(NICK AND GINNY MOANING)

They never stop.

Those two are
gonna kill themselves.

(BOTH CONTINUE MOANING)

(CLEARS THROAT)

(GINNY MOANING)

(GINNY MOANING)

They're driving me crazy.

Talk about something else.

Something serious and complex.

We won't even...
We won't even notice it.

All right. Okay.

-Something serious.
Okay, go ahead.
-(GINNY MOANING)

Something serious and complex.

Tell me about
the Simmons suit.

The, uh, Simmons suit.

The Simmons suit.

Yeah. Okay.

(NICK AND GINNY MOANING)

The Simmons suit.

Well, it all depends how
the judge interprets...

-(BOTH CONTINUE MOANING)
-...the, uh,

environmental impact study.

(NICK GRUNTING)

(WALL THUDDING)

NICK: Oh, yes.

(BOTH MOANING)

(WALL THUDDING)

(GINNY EXCLAIMS)

(BOTH MOANING)

Part of
the problem with inflation

(BOTH CONTINUE MOANING)

is that the production
of goods and services...

-(NICK MOANING)
-...per man hour of work

is falling at
a rate of 3% a year.

What is she doing to him?

-(NICK MOANING)
-You're not listening.

Now, will you just listen?

If productivity falls 3%,
then wages have to fall 3%.

Are you listening?

(LAUGHING)

Then the cost of
production rises.

(NICK MOANS)

(BOTH LAUGHING)

What goes up must come down.

(NICK MOANING)

So...

NICK: Again.

Oh, no, not again!

(NICK MOANING)

(JACK AND KATE LAUGHING)

KATE:
I can't take anymore of this.

(SEAGULLS CAWING)

(GROANS)

(BOTH SIGH)

Do you want some breakfast?

I'm too sleepy to eat.
Those people are killing me.

I'm gonna make some coffee
and see if I can wake up.

Maybe if I lie in the sun
I can go back to sleep.

(NICK AND GINNY LAUGHING)

(WATER SPLASHING)

(NICK LAUGHS)

Oh, my God.

(GINNY GIGGLING)

What?

(GINNY LAUGHING)

NICK: Down here. Quick.

Oh, my God.

DANNY: Is the coffee ready?

I can't get my eyes
open this morning.

Maybe this'll
get your eyes open.

(GINNY LAUGHING)

DANNY: They're swimming
already?
Where do they get the energy?

Keep looking at them.

What am I supposed to see?

A-ha.

CLAUDIA: What's the matter?
Is everybody sick?

Come here, come on.

(WATER SPLASHING)

Oh, my God.

(GINNY GIGGLING)

You know, when you
really think about it,

there isn't
anything sexual about it.

It's natural.

People go to their
doctor's offices,
they take off their clothes,

it doesn't mean a thing.

Meanwhile, he hasn't
taken his eyes off
her for a second.

I almost got you.

Hi!

Hi!

-Hi.
-Hi.

Oh, they're swimming over.

-Oh, Jesus.
-Oh, Lord.

Just act casual.

What you mean, like you?

I'm gonna make breakfast.

I don't wanna look
at my friends naked.

It makes it hard
to have dinner
with them later.

Yeah. I'm gonna go
sit in the shade.

And I think,
maybe, I'll read a book.

Okay, Danny, we've
all got something to do.

What's everybody
getting so crazy about?

You can't see anything.

Then what are you
standing there for?

He's hoping she'll turn over
and do the backstroke.

I was just enjoying
their playfulness.

They're like
a couple of porpoises.

It's a pure animal pleasure
of having fun, that's all.

Danny, will you,
for Christ's sake, sit down?

What's the matter
with this woman?

-(LAUGHS)
-Huh! Shit.

Hold it. Okay, hold it there.

Now give me a hand with this.

Okay. Here we go.

NICK:
Okay, Danny, start the winch.
Crank it up.

(WINCH CREAKING)

Okay.

NICK: That's it.

Kate, make sure
that tail line is taut.

All right,
come on, keep going. Heave!

NICK: Keep cranking.
Keep cranking.

All right, Ginny,

I wanna put a little
more pressure on it.

NICK: Hoist that sail.

GINNY: Okay!

NICK: That's it.

-Danny.
-Yeah?

NICK: That's it, darling.

Now put a little
muscle into it.

(BOTH GRUNTING)

(SAIL CREAKING)

(WINCH RATTLING)

NICK: Haul it away.
That's it.
That's it. That's it.

(WOMEN EXCLAIMING)

NICK: That's it!

(ALL CHEERING)

Yeah, yeah. It's working!

-Terrific!
-It's working!

(ALL CONTINUE CHEERING)

NICK: Yes! Yes!

(ALL CHEERING)

Where the hell are they going?

NICK: Hey, wait for us!

Claudia! Claudia, back it up!

We're headed out to sea!

Isn't this terrific?

KATE: Put it in reverse!

(CLAUDIA WHOOPING)

(CLAUDIA EXCLAIMS)

(SEAGULLS CAWING)

CLAUDIA: Okay, tell me when.

DANNY: Good, good. Thank you.
Thanks, honey.

Why do you think we
love this boat so much?

I don't know.

Do you know why I think
we like this boat so much?

-I knew it.
-What?

I knew it.

He only asked us so he could
tell us his theory.

Oh, come on.

Go ahead. Go ahead,
sweetheart, tell us.

Why do we love
this boat so much?

Because it represents
our primeval
desire to control water.

Ah. See?

JACK: No, think about it.

All our beginnings are wet.

Sloshing around in the womb,
baptism,

first life that came from
the warm soup of the ocean.

From the moment
we rose from
the slime as alligators,

we've been trying for
dominion over water.

You know?

Mmm-hmm?

Jack loves ideas
and he can do so
much with them.

I have seen him take
one idea at a dinner party

and bring the conversation
of a dozen people

to a complete halt.

(CHUCKLES)

Ladies and gentlemen.
Clams Casino.

(ALL EXCLAIMING)

Oh, my God. I love them.

I have this insatiable need
to have
dominance over the clam.

NICK: Take forks.

It so happens

that Venus rose from
the sea on a clam shell.

Sexuality was born in wetness.

It's easier that way.

(ALL LAUGHING)

Hey.

Mine's all closed up.

How'd that happen?

-I don't know.
-Open it.

NICK: Lodge your finger in it.
Right.

Oh, Nick.

That must be some clam.

Look what he gave me.

What a guy.

I'm beginning
to feel left out.

(EXCLAIMS)

Hmm. You got something, too?

Sand!

-Oh!
-Oh, Jack.

That's all right.

(KATE LAUGHING)

I'm gonna go down
below for a few minutes.

I think I'll see
if she's all right.

(SEAGULLS CAWING)

Do you think
they're gonna do it again?

You know,

I'm real pissed off at him
for what he did to Anne,

but I have to tell you,

I get a funny feeling

watching two people
who are that much in love.

How do you
suppose we lost that?

We didn't.

Just 'cause they're bumping
into
the furniture and we're not,

that doesn't mean
that we've lost interest.

Is he still thoughtful?

Yes, Jack is thoughtful.

Does he observe good
bathroom etiquette?

KATE: Like what?

Well, like does he
leave the seat up or
does he put it down?

It's funny how people tend to
forget little
things like that.

Wait a minute. Wait a minute.
You're not talking about me.

-I always put the seat down.
-Sure, after I yelled at you.

Do you know how
many times in the dark

I've fallen that extra
inch onto the porcelain?

Anyway, I don't find
them all that adorable.

DANNY: They're making
this trip very difficult.

They're not even on this trip.

They walk around
mooning all the time
making goo-goo eyes.

My God, if one of them farts,
the other thinks
it's Guy Lombardo.

I think it's kind of nice.

I don't know. I...

I want us all to
feel like we did before.

Hmm.

I wanna feel like them.

God, I love that woman.
She just kills me.

(SEAGULL SQUAWKS)

Honey?

What?

It's not the same anymore.
Everybody's different.

Have you noticed that?

Yeah.

What is it?
Is it me or something?

-No.
-Are you sure?

You're not doing anything.

You're a little
jealous of Nick.

No, I'm not.

Sure you are.

I'm not. What are you...
What are you talking about?

Look, honey,
it's only natural.

Look, she's a beautiful,
young, adoring woman, right?

Yeah.

And she believes
every single thing he
tells her about himself.

Now, it's only natural
for you to want that.

Well, but I... I'm jealous?

-You preen for her.
-I do not.

You do, too.

-I don't.
-Jack.

Come on. You walk around here

you're holding in your
stomach all the time.

You... You shave.
You comb your hair.

Well, I...
No, I think you've
misinterpreted something.

-No, now, excuse me, I...
-Look, forget it.

Enjoy your fantasies.

I don't have any
fantasies about her.

-Yeah?
-Well, no serious fantasies.

Well, you know, for somebody
who likes to get to
the heart of things,

you have this incredible knack

for denying your own feelings.

-You wish I were
jealous of him.
-Why?

'Cause that would alleviate
what you feel about her.

-Hey, you're getting angry.
-No, no, no. I'm not. No.

If you're angry,
would you do me
a favor and just be angry?

I am not angry.

Don't start
with the analyzing.

I am not angry!

And you're not clenching
your teeth either, right?

Okay, all right,
that's a problem I have.

Sometimes when I get angry,
I... I analyze.

You certainly do.

You know why I do that?

I don't care why!

Look, you got a little
hate going there, right?

-Admit it.
-I am not angry
and I don't hate,

so just shut up
about that, okay?

(LAUGHING)

Come on, shut up.

Stop.

(WATER SPLASHING)

(CLAUDIA SCREAMING)

(LAUGHING)

(JACK AND KATE LAUGHING)

(CLAUDIA EXCLAIMING)

(TIRES SCREECHING)

(ALL CLAMORING)

CLAUDIA: Will you slow down?

Do you know
where the brake is?

JACK: We got plenty of time.

You don't understand
the soul of a car like this.

It was born for speed.

I'm in complete control.

What are we
cramped up in here for?

We could've used
their station wagon.

A station wagon is a car.

A Mercedes is a thoroughbred.

Every so often,

it needs to be taken out
on the open road
and challenged.

-Want some?
-Yeah, I'd love a bite.

-Don't eat!
-What?

-Don't eat!
-Why?

The crumbs go down
in the upholstery.

You'll never get it out.

The car will look like
the bottom of a bird cage.

Isn't that crazy?

I'm starving.

One loaf of French bread

and the resale
value goes down $500.

DANNY: You wanna
eat a $500 sandwich,
it's up to you.

How about if I just
eat the insides for $1?

(TIRES SCREECHING)

(ALL EXCLAIMING)

(BELL TOLLING)

(BIRDS CHIRPING)

(ALL GROANING)

NICK: Can you make it?

KATE: Claudia,
once we find our kids,

why don't you and
Danny drop us off?

Then you can go
see Mike at Wesley.

We'll see him tomorrow.
It's Saturday night.

He's probably out
trying to get laid.

What makes you think
your son's always
doing something sexual?

Please, I'm Italian.

Hi! There she is!

(ALL SCREECHING)

Bethie!

Hi, guys.

Hi!

KATE: God, you look great.

BETH: Hi!

-Hello, honey.
-Hi.

-Hello.
-Hi.

BETH:
Lisa's down there somewhere.

Where?

Down there.
Come on, I'll show you.

Guess what?
I got an "A" in History.

(KATE AND JACK EXCLAIMING)

And this teacher
is such a jerk,
you wouldn't believe it.

He wouldn't even tell
us what to write about.

I had to figure
the whole thing out by myself.

You don't think he was trying
to get you to think for
yourself, do you?

No, Mom, no.
This guy is really a jerk.

If the jerks had their own
country,
this guy would be president.

(BOTH LAUGHING)

There she is. Lisa! Lis!

I'll... I'll go get her.
Hold on, will you?

Wait right there.

Okay.

Oh, God, she's wonderful.

DANNY: That kid sure
takes a real bite out of life.

Hiya, babe.

LISA: Hi, Dad.

Hi. You look great.

KATE: Hi, Lisa.

Hi.

-Hi, Lisa.
-Hi.

It's good to see you again.

-Hi, Lisa.
-Hi.

NICK: Doesn't she look good?

JACK: Oh, you look terrific.
Just great.

Thanks.

Oh, I have a present for you.

NICK: Right.

Yeah.
I'll... I'll go get it. Okay?

So, you're getting enough
sleep,
and food and everything?

You look just great.

Thanks.

Can you have
lunch with us now?

We're gonna have
lunch at the Inn, okay?

-Sure.
-You got a ride
over there, right?

Yeah, I'm gonna go
with Beth in her car.

-You know the way?
-Yeah, yeah, of course.

There's a return slip,
if it's the wrong
size or anything.

Thank you.

See you later, Lisa.

Okay, we'll see you later.
Bye-bye.

CLAUDIA: See you later, girls.

DANNY: Bye-bye.

Oh, boy, does she look great.

You don't think she
looked a little depressed?

Who? You mean Lisa?

Yeah, Lisa.

No, no, no, no.
She has a slow metabolism.

That's up. She's up today.

Maybe you should
have a talk with her.

What's the matter
with you people?

I tell you,
the kid is a survivor.

Just a little talk.

It'll make her
feel so much better.

(CHUCKLES)

Okay.

KATE:
Do you lock it now or what?

-You wanna hang
onto your purse?
-No.

Got your purse.

(EVERYONE CHATTERING)

This is...

Did you know Anne
is here this weekend?

-Anne is here?
-Oh, no.

-Are you sure?
-Beth told me.

My God, how did that happen?

(BIRDS CHIRPING)

Anne's grown up.
She can take it.

What makes you think we can?

Did you know she was coming?

When I talked to her Tuesday,

she said she was gonna
work it out with Nick.

I called her when we said
we were coming up here

just so this wouldn't happen.

Well, I don't understand.

Nick, you didn't tell her
you were coming
up here with Ginny

and she didn't tell you?

I don't know. She might have
mentioned she
was thinking of it.

She never does what she says
she's gonna do.
She's very unreliable.

I don't even listen
to her half the time.

KATE:
That might be a small
problem right there.

You know,
I don't wanna talk her down

but she is unreliable.

I mean, Nick has
made three appointments

to meet her down at
his lawyer's office
and she's never shown up.

She hasn't even called.

Now, wait a minute.

No offense, Ginny,
but 21 years ago Nick
said he would be there

on the other side of the bed
every morning and
for the last six months

he hasn't kept his
appointment, either!

Okay, uh, look...
Look, let's calm down.

It's not all that bad.
It's just
a little embarrassing.

I don't see what
the big problem is.

We're all adults.

We'll just say "Hello,"
and, uh...

Have a nervous breakdown.

Ginny, I'm sorry.

The... The... This...
There is a lot of
strain on the situation

and I get
passionate sometimes.

That's okay.

(SNIFFLING) I know you're just
trying to be
fair to everybody.

You're the one I
wanted to make cry.

DANNY: Why do you have to
open up your mouth again?

-Danny, it's over
and done with, please.
-Come on.

Let's have a nice
quiet time, just once.

-We're gonna have...
-All right,
let's get a move on.

Shh. Please, not now.

-Hey, you okay?
-Yeah.

-You sure?
-I'm okay.

Do you have a reservation
for Callan, please?

You're all registered,
Mr. Callan.

I'm all registered?

Mrs. Callan checked
in a few minutes ago.

(PEOPLE CHATTERING)

Everything all right?

Oh, yeah,
everything's terrific.

Do we have our rooms?

Wait a minute.

Uh, could I see you over here
for a minute, please?

Could I see you over here
for a minute, please?

What's the matter?

(WHISPERS) As far
as I can make out,

Anne has just
checked into our room.

-Oh, no, I knew it.
-Oh, my God.

Look, we can just
go someplace else.

KATE: On Parents' Weekend,

everything's booked
within 50 miles of here.

GINNY: Well,
then I'll sleep in the car.

I could sit up all
night in the diner.

(SIGHS) Maybe the earth will
just open up and swallow me.

Hi, everybody.

Hi.

ALL: Hi.

KATE: Hi. How are you?

ANNE: I'm fine.

Oh, that's a nice kiss.

This is wonderful.

You look gorgeous.

Thank you.

It's great to see you.

Uh, hi.

(ANNE LAUGHING)

-Did you see Lisa?
-No, I haven't yet.

-Oh, she looks terrific.
-She does?

-Oh, yeah.
-Oh, good. I miss her.

Hi. I'm Ginny.

Oh, this is Ginny Newley.

How do you do? I...
We've spoken on the phone,
I believe.

Yes, I... I think we have.

Okay,
I got that taken care of.

Oh, hi, Anne, how are you?

Fine, Nick, I'm fine.
How are you?

I'm fine.

Well, now that we
all know we're fine,

is there anything else
we ought to talk about?

Jack, don't, uh...
Don't try to get to
the heart of things,

just let it lay there.

Why are we all pretending
we're not embarrassed?

Why don't we just
say how we feel?

I feel, uh, like I wish you
would just sort of shut up.

Okay.

Lisa's on her way over here.

I'm gonna have
lunch with her, okay?

Okay. I'll...
I'll have dinner with her.

-Fine.
-Fine.

More fine, good. That's great.

Hmm.

Listen, it's lovely to
see you all. It really is.

Okay, goodbye.

-Talk to you later, honey.
-Take care.

It was very nice to meet you.

Of course.
Thank you, Miss Newley.

See, what was wrong with that?

Claudia, come on.

Do you have my room?
Dr. Zimmer?

There won't be any more
Zimmers coming in, will there?

Better not be.

Anne?
Hold on. Wait a second, huh?

Anne.

God, that must've been
murder for you in there.

I'll get used to it.

Shall we talk? I have
a feeling we should talk.

(WOMEN LAUGHING)

Well, uh...

Actually I have the feeling

that, um,
you're all deserting me.

Deserting you?

Yes.

You had that,
uh, party on Labor Day,

and you asked Nick but not me.

Anne! That's
because he was with her.

We couldn't invite you
both to the same party.

We would've been
nervous wrecks.

Anne, we love you.

Uh, look, next week why
don't we have dinner?

We'll...
We'll go see a movie. Huh?

Good, I would like that.

You know,
you're right, it's true.

We've talked to you on
the phone a few times

but in the last
couple of months,

we have let you
drift out of our lives.

Has it been really tough?

Not bad.

Actually,
um, it's been pure shit.

But it could be worse.

How do you get
through the day?

I work.

But I tend to, uh, lose track.

I get on the bus and I
forget where I'm going

and I watch the streets go by

and I just hope to God

that one of them will
remind me what I'm there for.

Oh,
it's not as bad as all that.

I've been trying to
get out of my rut.

I am thinking

about, uh,
uh, going to Czechoslovakia.

Why?

Because I've never wanted
to go to Czechoslovakia.

(GIGGLING) And
it's something new,

and I'm trying very hard,
you know, to be less,
uh, what, uh, compulsive.

To be a little bit
more spontaneous.

Last week, I bought a snake.

You bought a snake?

It felt kind of
strange at first, but, uh,

once you get used
to him, he's lovely.
He's lovely.

He's a nice pet.

-Yeah?
-Yeah.

He's disgusting to start with
because he eats mice alive.

You've really been through
the wringer, haven't you?

Uh, I'm all right.
I really am all right.

In fact, in some ways I think
I'm stronger than ever.

The only thing is that

every time I think about
going to Czechoslovakia

I, uh... I start to cry.

God, oh!

I'll...
I'll stop by for Lisa later.

And we're gonna
call you Monday
for dinner, okay?

-Okay.
-Anne?

What?

Will you call
me at the office?

Because I think I can
get an assignment for you.

I love you.

Do me a favor

and don't tell Nick
about the snake, all right?

No.

He thinks I'm crazy as it is.

I'll tell you what.

To hell with Nick.

Tell him, uh, it's
a goddamn boa constrictor.

I don't understand him.

How could he do that to her?

He's got a long
history of doing that to her.

He's been having affairs
with other women all along.
Dozens!

Oh, you're kidding.

How could you not know?

They even slept at
your apartment once.

Where was I?

You gave him your keys
so he could feed your cat

and water your plants
when you went
away for the weekend.

Didn't you notice the funny
look on the cat's face

when you came home?

That son of a bitch.

He told you all this?

He told me some of it.

Some of it came out
when he was under gas.

I don't know.

Jeez!

I've lost all my
illusions about that guy.

Every time I think about him
I get angry and depressed.

I just can't
believe that of him.

Ah, maybe it's
this time of the year.

Always hated autumn.

Everybody says
it's so beautiful

but for me it's just...
Just another time of death.

I always get
psoriasis in autumn.

Danny, believe me,
you're not gonna
die from psoriasis.

What's that supposed to mean?

I'm just trying
to comfort you.
Don't get paranoid.

How come everyone
thinks I'm paranoid?

You discuss this
behind my back, don't you?

Danny, relax, would you?

Come on, come on, I'm sorry.

If you could just realize
what a terrific person you are

you wouldn't think
everybody was out to get you.

Don't try to analyze me, okay?

First of all,
I'm not your patient.

Second of all,
you're not a doctor.

I'm just trying to help.

Well, you're not helping,
you're patronizing me.

-So cut it out, okay?
-Okay. Okay.

Don't...
Don't get so overwrought.

What can I do for you?

Well, first of all,
you can take your
arm off my shoulder

and stick it up your ass.

Look, sweetheart,
I know what
you're going through.

My parents separated
when I was a kid, too.

I hated them for it.

I promised myself
that when I grew up

I'd remember what it was like
and never do
that to one of mine.

Trouble is, now I see
it from the other side.

But you've very
mature for your age.
You're resilient.

This will pass
and in no time you'll
be singing and laughing.

Believe me,
you're gonna be laughing.

(NICK SIGHS)

Look, your entire world
doesn't revolve around me.

You've got your
own life to live.

You've made some friends
at your dorm, right?

Not really.

Most of
the people I've met here

have a peculiar
idea of a good time.

Like what?

They get drunk and
piss off the balconies.

(LAUGHING)

What about the girls?

I'm talking about the girls.

You're kidding me, right?

I'm kidding you?

You think it's a joke
to have to walk home

on a clear night
with an umbrella?

(BIRDS CHIRPING)

Haven't you got
any friends here?

They don't interest me.

Oh, come on.
There must be somebody.

Hey!

What about that
kid from, uh, Ohio?

Yeah, Marilyn Oupenski.

-Yeah.
-She was great.

She was a lot like me.
A lot like me.

Her parents made her go home.

Why?

She tried to
swallow a bottle of pills.

Why didn't you tell me?

What for?

Lisa, if the one person
you identify
with in this place

happens to swallow
a bottle of pills

don't you think I'd
be mildly interested?

You keep making
all these decisions

that affect my life
without asking me.

That doesn't
seem to bother you.

You know what this is?
This is emotional blackmail.

I'm trying to appeal
to your sense of
intelligence and maturity,

you sit there like the
Bride of Frankenstein
talking about suicide.

Come on, sweetheart.

You're not as morose as
all that and you know it.

You got a great big smile
down there somewhere

and you just won't let it out.

Come on, give in.

Let's have a nice big smile.

I know you got one in there.

I can see it sitting there,
dying to come out.

Here it comes.

I can see it curling up
at the corner of your mouth.

Come on, here it comes.

Here comes the smile.

Smile, God damn it!

All right, don't.

DANNY: I think you
should apologize to her.

For what?

I got excited,
I spoke my mind,

I said I was sorry and
it's over and done with.

I don't understand
how you can hurt someone

as guileless and
vulnerable as Ginny.

She sure took on a lot
of mystical qualities

once you saw her
swimming naked.

How can you say that?

-I just say what I think.
-Mmm-hmm.

Well,
maybe that's the problem.

Why do you always have to say
what you think?

You think your thoughts
should just fall
down from your brain

onto your tongue
like a gumball machine!

Danny, I am not gonna
start watching what I think

or what I feel! I am Italian!

I know you're Italian!

I don't wanna hear anymore
how you're Italian!

Wait. Wait, here.

Wait. Just wait, wait, wait.

(SCREAMING) Hello out there!
This woman is Italian!

All right!

You no longer have to announce
your ethnic
origin in this state!

Everybody in Connecticut
knows you're Italian!

And when we cross the border,

I'll take out an ad
in the New York Times.

What's with him?

I don't know.

What's with you?

I'm sorry. I just feel
very let down by you.

Why? What have I done to you?

What is your idea of a close
intimate friendship?

What does that mean to you?

I don't understand.

I've hurt you in some way?

I happen to know you betrayed
your wife dozens of times.

If I did,
that's what I did to her.
What did I do to you?

You didn't tell either of us.

Hey, wait a minute.

Let's take you one at a time.

You can understand my
not telling her, right?

I can't understand you
saying on the one hand

that you could
tell me anything.

And on the other hand not
telling me a goddamn thing
except what suits you.

I feel as
betrayed as she does.

Jack, all I've ever gotten
from you is judgment
and disapproval.

You expect me to
come and tell you

every time I've had an affair
with a hatcheck girl?

That's who you were
having affairs with?

Hatcheck girls?

No!

They were all intelligent,
worthy women. The top
people in their field.

I can't tell you
all their names,

but two of them were
Margaret Thatcher
and Indira Gandhi.

When you wanna talk
intelligently, I'll talk.

Otherwise, forget it.

When did you get this?

Couple of weeks ago.

Do you have any
good friends here?

Mmm-hmm, I like this.

Who are your friends?

People.

Good.

What about Lisa?

Forget it.

When you were in high school

you used to be on the phone
with her almost every night.

Not anymore.

What's the problem?

She's such a bitch sometimes!

She... She just gets...
I don't know.

She says she'll
meet me someplace and
she doesn't show up.

Sometimes she'll just
sit there for
an hour without talking.

It's like she's trying
to test me and see
how much shit I'll take.

-She probably is.
-I hate it!

Hey, babe, come here.

What if, uh...

What if you just accepted her
for what she is, huh?

I do.

Trouble is,
what she is, is a bitch.

Oh.

When she acts like that,
maybe you...

Maybe you could
just laugh at her.

You know, like she was
a character in a story.

-Mom, that's impossible.
-Why?

Because it is. Forget it.
Change the subject.

Okay.

What other
friends do you have?

Oh, stop it! Be quiet!
Time to stop talking now!

I'm closing off your breath!
Here we go!

This is so good.

Mmm, I hope this is homemade.

Just look at all
those calories.

-Do you want a bite?
-Oh, God,
I got too much in my mouth.

(LAUGHING) Thank you.

You are such a slob.

Okay. That's $23 from Nick,

$24.50 from Jack
and $16 for me.

But let's split it three ways.

Then why tell us
what everybody spent?

Because if there's
a discrepancy in
anyone's share,

it will benefit
everyone to know about it.

How can I know what my share
was unless I
compulsively added up

my bill the whole
time I was eating?

Oh, now I'm compulsive.

Ten minutes ago,
I was paranoid.

NICK: Give me the check,
I'll pay it.

I'm sorry. I'm not a member of
the Million Dollar Roundtable.

You want the check?
Here, you got it.

NICK: Come on,
you're a successful dentist.

DANNY: That's right.

And this is
a checkup and cleaning.

Takes me a long
time to scrape, polish,

and poke in
order to make this.

Hey, Danny, calm down.

Please don't tell
me to calm down.

This is the second time today
somebody's told
me to calm down.

I'm sorry, it's only my first.

If he wants to keep the books,
let him keep the books.

I don't want to
keep the books.

I'll pay the check.

DANNY: Again, I am not upset.

JACK: Don't get upset.

I told you, I was not upset.

Here, you want the check,
take the check.

I don't want the check.
I'm not upset.

Don't get him upset, will you?

I didn't get him upset!
You got him upset.

I told you, I'm not upset.

This is ridiculous.
Why do you...

(SIGHS)

(GROANING)

Oh, God.

Oh, God.

It really took
off a lot of skin.

What are you doing?

I've been out in the cold
all day and my skin is dry.

I wonder if they have
any ice down the hall.

Gee, I don't know.
Why don't you go see?

Are you mad at me?

You got it.

You picked a hell of
a time to get irrational.

Oh, I'm not irrational.
Rational people get angry!

Irrational people
pretend they don't.

Okay,
just stop it right there!

I have a very bad temper!
Don't make me use it!

Use it.

I don't happen to think
there's anything
wrong with anger.

I'm going to be
very calm about this.

Why do you resent me?

Because when you
fight you get calm.

You don't like that?

It drives me nuts.

I also don't
like having to
guess your every need

when you don't give
a damn about mine.

I don't like that a lot!

What needs do you have
that I don't
give a damn about?

Don't you ever feel
like going
someplace alone with me?

You want to take
a vacation without them?

I have this perverse desire
to be married to
one person at a time.

I don't know, it excites me!

I thought...
I thought you liked them.

I adore them,
but it's getting
so I can't breathe!

Anne doesn't know
how lucky she is to be out!

You know,

Danny probably
has his ear pressed

to that door listening
to everything you're saying.

Danny dear,

please don't be offended.
You know how fond I am of you

but I think your
Mercedes sucks.

You the one who
organizes these trips.

And I hate it.

Doesn't it ever occur
to you that sometimes

I'd like to be
the one with the sore knee?

No.

You handle everything
like three of the most
efficient people I know!

Uh, nobody can do what you do.

My God, you're perfect.

How dare you call me that?

-How dare I call you perfect?
-Yes.

Yes, isn't that what I heard?

What's wrong with perfect?
How can you get
upset about that?

Because when I'm perfect,
I cease to exist!

You... You don't
have to hug me when...
When I'm low.

You don't have to cheer me up
with a bunch of $2 daffodils.
Nothing!

I don't surprise
you with daffodils?

You know I do. You know I do.

When you feel like it!

When it makes you feel good,
but not when I need them!

Goddamn it!
I'm standing here bleeding!

Blood is running down my leg
and we're talking
about daffodils!

Because I also resent you
for hurting yourself.

Oh, oh, oh.

And that's not irrational,
huh?

You think I like to see
you so jealous of Nick

that you feel you
have to tackle him?

You think that
makes me feel good?

I think we should get
to the heart of this.

The heart of this

is that you wish you
had some blonde nymph

adoring you like he does.

So go on! Go find one!

Christ, how long you going
to hang on to these fantasies?

The reality is you're married
to a middle-aged woman

with a good sense of
humor and dry skin!

And if you don't like it,
then go find yourself a nymph.

Just do me
the courtesy of telling me.

In other words,
and I mean this in
the most loving way,

shit, or get off the pot!

Katherine,
I'm sorry to say this.

What? Say it!

You're making me furious.

You're furious now?

I'm enraged.

How can you tell?
I can't see the difference!

Maybe you could learn
to stamp your
foot as a signal.

Look, try this!

(SCREAMING)

Will you shut up?

You know how
that voice carries?

When you're mad at me,
I expect to see it.

I don't want to
have to read about it

two years from now
in your goddamn diary!

You know how our good times
together come in waves?

Right now I would say
we were in a very deep trough.

Hi, guys.

How you doing?

Great.

God, is Nick sore.

Poor guy.

He just loves to be babied.

Think that's enough?

Well, see you tomorrow.

NICK: Hurry up!

I'm coming! Bye.

Good night.

Jack! What do you say?

Come on! Come on!

(SCREAMING) Oh, shit!

(PEOPLE CHATTERING)

Wait right out there.

The doctor wants
us to wait outside.

GINNY: He really amazes me.

You need some
help or anything?

-We'll see you
in five minutes.
-JACK: Yeah, yeah, okay.

DANNY: You all right, babe?
I'll see you around.

What's this? Crutches!

CLAUDIA: Crutches are havoc.

What's that?

What?

That. The limping stuff?
What is it?

I got a blister.

Excuse me.

GINNY: Doctor?

Ginny, I don't...

Could you look at
his leg, too, please?

Sure.
After we're finished here.

He can hop right
up on the table.

There's nothing wrong with me!

You landed awful hard once.
I saw you.

Nick, I saw it, too.

-We saw it! Don't be brave.
-JACK: I saw that, too.

(SNICKERING) All right.
All right. All right.

You want to take an X-ray
of my foot, go right ahead.

-Take my picture.
-Which one?

NICK: I'll tell
you what the funniest
sight in the world was.

It was you going on that jump.

You looked like
a dying turkey.

(ALL CHATTERING)

The arms and
the legs started to go.
I thought I would die!

Listen, the thing to
do is take the boat

from Southampton
when you're traveling.

GINNY: Oh, yeah?

And take...

It's climbing
a quarter of a degree an hour.

I'm not going out
in that cold anymore.

That's exactly half of us
felled by disaster
on our first day.

So what do you
suppose we should do now?

How about if we talk?

Talk?

Ever since we saw the kids up
at school,
we've been walking on eggs.

-I'm gonna get some coffee.
-What do you mean?

We have dinner,
we talk about the
kids, we talk about the news,

but we...
We don't really talk.

About what?

About us.

You're gonna jump all over me,
but I think we
should clear the air.

ALL: Oh, no!

Please, some of us
aren't feeling too well,
do you mind?

I think we should
sit down for a while
and hash this thing out.

I'd rather have
my teeth drilled.

What do you want to open up
a big can of worms for?

Because I thought it
was worth it. Forget it.

(CHEERING)

All right!

Okay, that's it.

Did you see this?

I saw it.

Anne's got pictures in it.

Yeah.

She's making friends,
she's working,
she's never been better.

And you'll notice,
these are pictures of people,

not kumquats.

I saw it.

Hey, guys,

why don't we have some fun?

You know that roadhouse,
about 15 miles from here?

ALL: Yeah?

They're gotta have
music tonight, right?

I mean, we can't all dance,

but we could sit
and have a beer,
listen to the music.

Here we go.
I'd like to get out of here.

I think that's a swell idea.

JACK: I'm not
against having a good time.

Let's have fun.

KATE:
Don't hurt yourself laughing.

When are you
going to forgive me
for marrying Ginny, ever?

You can do anything you want.

Oh, thanks.

Where's the warmth
you're always talking about?

You're as cold as that
frozen lake out there.

Listen, I adore Ginny.
I have nothing but
the deepest affection

for both of you.

But you won't forgive me?

Is this man crazy or what?

No, he's not crazy.

You want us to
level with one another?

The truth is
we're all mad at you.

We love Ginny but we're upset
because Anne isn't here.

Maybe they're mad
at you, but I'm not.

Well, good.

As long as we're
all honest and open.

Is this the fun part?
Are we having fun yet?

(CLAUDIA LAUGHING)

Ow!

Damn it!

(BAND PLAYING)

(PEOPLE CHATTERING)

What can I get you, folks?

Beer for me.

And I'll have a J&B
on the rocks, too.

Great band.

You know, I always
wondered what happened

to the old Glen
Miller arrangement.

(ALL LAUGHING)

So you don't
think I'm honest, huh?

Okay, Jack, forget it.
I'm sorry I said it.

No,
come on, say what you think.

-Do you really want me to?
-Yeah.

Well, I think sometimes
you are a little cold.

There's a little
part of you always, uh,

that hangs back and judges.

You always want to get
to the bottom of things,

but only so long as
you can make the rules.

Mmm-hmm. I see.

That's all right, it's human.

Okay, fine, I'm human.
I don't mind being human.

As long as we
realize you're human, too.

Yeah, I'm human.

As long as we realize that

it's also human to be
the world's foremost authority

on everything
from who ordered
the roast beef at lunch

to the nervous
system of the newt.

To be so completely obsessed
with your own body

that you take
your temperature
at the dinner table!

Look, I think maybe
you better just cool it.

No,
it's all right, don't worry.

You're going a little too far.

JACK: No, it's all right.

Let me tell you something,
Jack.

I'm 10 years
older than you, right?

All right, I just hope
that when you
get to be my age,

you don't smell
the foul breath of
death and disintegration

hanging over your shoulder
the way I find it
hanging over mine.

I mean, I go to sleep at night
on an ache so bad

that it simply
will not go away.

I wake up in the middle
of the night sweating,

hearing my own bones decaying.

I have shifted into
a state of entropy

that's
progressing geometrically.

You see, "entropy,"

"progressing geometrically."

You...
You talk like a bad textbook.

Why don't you
just speak English?

Goddamn it! I just
told you my deepest fear!

Why can't you
listen to what I'm saying

instead of how I'm saying it?

I mean, do you have
any idea, any idea,

what it is to be
afraid of death?

I can't eat my
bowl of cereal anymore

because I have
an irrational fear of milk.

I stand there in hallways...

I stand there in hallways
afraid to press
strange elevator buttons.

I almost threw away my
jockey shorts because
I have this fear of elastic.

(LAUGHING)

Don't laugh at him.

Go on, go on, what?

Laugh, good.
I'm a fool, right?

(LAUGHING) No, Danny.

I'm a collection
of eccentricities.

You think because I'm quirky,
I don't hurt?

-No.
-Well, you have it wrong.

I'm quirky because I hurt.

Oh, Danny, I'm sorry.

All right.

Come on.

Are you really
afraid of your underwear?

(LAUGHING)

(LAUGHING)

I'm dying, she's laughing.

We're not laughing, Danny.
Honest.

We are.

Forget it. Forget it.
Let's listen to the music.

No, it's all right. Forget it.

Okay, come on.
Danny, let's dance.

Come on.

No, thanks.
No. I don't want to dance.

Danny!

-Dance.
-Come on.

Go ahead, dance. Go on, dance.

(LAUGHING)

Go boogie.

I'm having one hell of a time.

(ALL LAUGHING)

CLAUDIA: All right!

(ALL SINGING) * In the night

(ALL HUMMING)

* Strangers in the night

(SINGING INCOHERENTLY)

(ALL HUMMING)

Fire.

I'm dying for some coffee.

Oh, get us some coffee.

Coffee! Hello!

-Anybody home?
-(HONKING)

-You want some coffee?
-Coffee!

Come on, give us
a little smile. Come on.

-You want some coffee?
-Coffee!

That's nice.

(HONKING)

You trying to
get us thrown out?

There's nobody here.

I bet we're the only
people in this building.

Throw me the newspaper.

JACK: Want some coffee?

Who wants coffee?
You want coffee?

Danny wants coffee.

(LAUGHING)

Danny needs some coffee.

(HUMMING)

(SCREAMING)

What? What?

(LAUGHING)

Oh, God.

(LAUGHING)

I think Danny's upset.

Oh, he'll be all right.

We've been joking
around all night and
he hasn't joined in.

I think he's hurt.
I think maybe we
owe him an apology.

What,
because I laughed at him?

Well, yeah.

Look, Ginny,

when people have been
friends as long as we have,

it's not such a terrible thing
to kid somebody
out of a depression.

So don't get upset
about what you
don't understand.

I've just about had
it with you people.

What's the matter?

I'll tell you what's
the matter. I'm mad.

NICK: Ginny?

I fall in love with this man,

and all of a sudden,
in addition to him

I've got four
constant companions!

I have to work out
a new relationship

with somebody who
is going through

the worst period of his life,
only I can't do it alone,

I've got to do it in
front of four other people!

And it's not as if my
privacy was invaded,

you all have let me
know every single day

that I have been
intruding on your territory!

Let me tell you something.
As far as I'm concerned,

you're all demanding and
unforgiving,
every single one of you.

Everybody is sweet
and warm and simple,

but everybody ignores me.

I'm like a leper.

I'm... I'm a blank spot
where Anne used to be.

I'm going to go
take a run in the snow.

(DOOR SLAMS)

I hope she'll be
all right out there.

Wish I hadn't said that.

What happened?

NICK: Ginny! Ginny!

I'm going after her!

Nick!

You got a broken ankle.

She might fall
down in the dark.

So what? She fell down
in the daylight,
she didn't hurt herself.

Yeah, well, in the dark
she might hurt herself.

Nick,
come on, she'll be all right.
Rest your foot.

NICK: Look,
I'm not going to run the risk
of her falling down out there.

-DANNY: Why not?
-Because she's pregnant.

Because she's pregnant?

Watch this.

Here's some real
heartwarming acceptance.

You're 43 years old,
you're going to
start having babies?

I don't believe this.

I have to check
everything with you?

As a matter of fact,
I told you I wanted
to start a new family.

With babies?

With what? Airedales?

Look, do what you want.

Oh, thanks very much.
I really appreciate that.

Fellows, come on back inside.

It's freezing out here.

Come on, you can't go
after her like that.

-Come on.
-Come on.

Nick, please! Come on.

NICK: It's
starting to get light out.
Where the hell is she?

(SIGHING)

You know,

when she ran out of
here I started to think of

all the friends
we've had over the years

who've jogged
out of our lives.

All the ones who've, uh,

who've been inconvenient
to stay friendly
with and it scares me.

They move to another state
or they've gotten a divorce

or else we've just gotten
friendly enough with them

to realize they're
kind of a pain in the ass

and pretty soon we
never see them again.

I'll tell you something, Jack.

I don't want to be
one of two people

alone in the world
at the end of my life.

I want to have friends.

When I get old,

I'd like you all
to still be there.

Okay?

Why can't we just let them be?

In other words,
I'm the problem?

I have to have
everything my way.

I'm unforgiving and cold
and judgmental, right?

Right.

Right.

We're talking about me?

Jack, you know
those probing questions
you ask all the time?

You're the only one who ever
answers them. Everybody
dances to your tune!

That makes me
sound like a tyrant.

Well, so what?

I am not a tyrant,
God damn it!

No matter what kind of
crap I get from people,

all I ever give
back is a smile.

I never give a response that's
anything but fair and
rational and cheerful!

Be careful! Be careful!

Why don't you
let your anger
out once in a while?

You want anger?
There! How's that?

(CHINA CLANKING)

JACK: Is that angry
enough for you? Here.

How about that?

(CLATTERING)

Is that angry enough for you?
Now is that angry enough?

Here, how about this?

What the hell you doing?

You know what I
expect from you.

I expect closeness

and warmth and
unconditional acceptance.

And all I get from you is
secretiveness and
neurosis and a lot of...

-God damn it!
-Jesus Christ!

Put it down!

I'm not paying for this!
This is your expense!

Yeah, bet your life!

All right, stop that!

Is that angry
enough for you, huh?

NICK: Stop that!
All right, stop it!

DANNY: Stop it! That's enough!
That's all, stop it!

Come on! Settle down!

(ALL SCREAMING)

Come here. Sit down.

Shh. Shh. Shh. Shh.

I wonder what other people do
on their vacations?

Oh, God, I'm sorry.

Jesus, look what I did.

So you freaked out a little.

So what?

I lost complete
control of myself.

Jack, nobody cares.

-Hey.
-What?

You're not the best
little boy in the world.

I hate to break this to you,
but you're not
the worst little boy, either.

You know,
sometimes when you
say things like that,

I really hate you.

(SNICKERING) Thank you.

You know,
sometimes I hate you.

(SNIFFLING)

Nick, what are you doing?

I'm gonna go find her.

Wait a minute. You stay.

I'll go find her.

No, I can do it.

Nick, look, please. I want to.

Let me go, please.

Thanks, but I can do it.

No, I'll do it.

No, I'll do it!

Look,
you sit down and wait for me.

-I'll be right back!
-Don't do me any favors.

-Will you get out of my way?
-Where you gonna
go on that foot?

Jack! Don't be ridiculous!

He's got a broken ankle!

And you've got
a torn ligament.

You guys wouldn't get
10 feet in that snow.

I'd get farther than he can.

I can get farther
than both of you.

What do you guys
think a pregnant woman is?
An invalid?

I'll be back in two minutes.

You better start
fixing up this place.

That moose is going
to cost a fortune.

DANNY: Ginny! Don't move,
I'll be right there!

Stay right there!

(ICE CRACKING)

Oh!

(SCREAMING)

Hey, wait! Help me!

Help me!

Run to the lodge! Go get help!

I can't get out!

Run! Go faster, faster!

Help! Help!

NICK: Are you all right?

GINNY: Danny went through the
ice and he can't get out!

(ALL CLAMORING)

-Jack!
-Please help.

Hurry up!

Help! Help!

Quick!

(ALL CLAMORING)

KATE:
Jack, don't go too far out!

Okay. Danny!

Lift up your arms!

This side.

JACK: Wait a minute.

Ready here!

Get your arm around that!
Get it under your elbow!

God damn it, lift your arm up!

Danny, get it around!

Okay, hold onto the rope.

I got the blanket.

Okay, go!

NICK: Back it up.

Okay, go back. Go ahead.

Go back slowly.

Easy! Easy! Easy!

-Pull the rope!
-Easy.

That's it, Danny.

JACK: Go on, keep going!

NICK: Keep going!

All right, hold it!

Danny!

Danny!

Danny? How is he?

-Danny!
-Don't say that!

Danny?

Danny?

Breathe, honey!

JACK: Little more!
Rub... Rub his legs.

Come on. Come on, sweetheart.

(RETCHING)

Thank God!

Danny, are you all right?

Are you all right, honey?

NICK: You almost drowned.

Keep covered up.

Thanks, I'm okay.
I'm okay. Thank you.

I almost died, and thank you.

NICK: Get him up!

(ICE CRACKING)

(SCREAMING)

Oh, my God! My Mercedes!

(DANNY SCREAMING)

(WATER BUBBLING)

How could you drive
my Mercedes on thin ice?

Oh!

NICK: Danny, come on, get up.

GINNY: Come on.

Oh, God!

Get off the blanket.

It was brand new!

In three years,
I could have gotten
twice what I paid for it!

Danny, Danny, we'll get
someone to fish
it out for you.

What the hell am I going to do
with a rusty Mercedes?

It's gone!

It's gone.

It sank like a stone.

CLAUDIA: Danny!

You are alive.
You have your life.

You have us and we
love you, so shut up!

Come on, Dan.

Get inside. You're
going to freeze to death.

Get into
the lodge and get warm.

Sorry.
I just got a little crazy.

I'm sorry.
What do I care about the car.

It's you I care about.

NICK: Let's go! Come on!

To hell with the car,
thank you.

Oh, my God, you sank my car!

Get back.

Get back to
the lodge and shut up!

All right, I'm okay.
To hell with the car.

It's you I love.

Come on, let's go.

Come on, let's go.

Why'd you have to
take it on the ice?

Will you shut up,
for Christ's sake!

We just saved
your goddamn life!

GINNY: What were you trying to
rescue me for, anyway?

I was fine!

KATE: I'm sick of
this macho bullshit!

CLAUDIA: No more stunts, okay?

JACK: Okay, yeah.

CLAUDIA:
You guys really piss
me off, you know that?

NICK: Yeah, we heard you.

DANNY: It's gone.
I'll never see it again.

CLAUDIA: Please, Danny.

KATE: I say we come
back here next winter.

JACK: Will you listen to me.
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