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1
00:01:38,880 --> 00:01:40,518
Joe.
2
00:02:22,720 --> 00:02:25,553
Here, boy. Come on, boy.
3
00:02:25,720 --> 00:02:28,359
Come on. No one's gonna hurt you.
4
00:02:30,760 --> 00:02:32,751
Come on.
5
00:02:40,840 --> 00:02:42,319
There's a good boy.
6
00:02:48,560 --> 00:02:50,312
Thank you.
7
00:02:51,320 --> 00:02:55,199
- Nice aftershave, Joe.
- Eau de Sewer. My favourite fragrance.
8
00:02:56,000 --> 00:02:59,834
- Hose the hero down, lads.
- Watch your eyes, then, Joe.
9
00:03:02,720 --> 00:03:05,280
# I'm singing in the rain
10
00:03:05,960 --> 00:03:08,269
# Just singing in the rain
11
00:03:08,440 --> 00:03:11,113
# What a glorious feeling
12
00:03:11,280 --> 00:03:14,477
# I'm happy again #
13
00:03:16,720 --> 00:03:19,473
Stay downwind. You're still a bit ripe, mate.
14
00:03:19,640 --> 00:03:22,757
Well, some of us don't mind
getting our hands dirty.
15
00:03:22,920 --> 00:03:27,072
- You up for a beer, Joe?
- No, I've got to be at the youth club by six.
16
00:03:29,800 --> 00:03:35,909
I can't believe he's up for the lead man's job. It
should be yours. You've been here for donkey's.
17
00:03:36,080 --> 00:03:39,914
Yeah, well... We'll see, won't we?
18
00:03:42,920 --> 00:03:45,718
Come on, boys. Let's see some work now.
19
00:03:45,880 --> 00:03:48,394
Let's see a bit more work this time.
20
00:03:48,560 --> 00:03:52,109
Nice one, Philip. Come on! Quicker! Quicker!
21
00:03:53,200 --> 00:03:55,191
Good work, Peter.
22
00:03:56,320 --> 00:03:58,356
Let's move about.
23
00:03:58,520 --> 00:04:00,670
Move, move!
24
00:04:02,200 --> 00:04:05,636
Hey, slow down! Slow down.
25
00:04:05,800 --> 00:04:08,598
If you're gonna cheat, don't bother playing.
26
00:04:08,760 --> 00:04:14,278
Don't retaliate, no matter what the provocation.
Let's shake hands. Come on. Shake!
27
00:04:14,440 --> 00:04:16,396
Let's get on with the game.
28
00:04:16,560 --> 00:04:17,879
Come on, boys.
29
00:04:28,200 --> 00:04:30,191
Looks like a wire shorted.
30
00:04:30,360 --> 00:04:35,798
Can't get the electrician out till tomorrow
so we'll have to call it a night, lads. Sorry.
31
00:04:35,960 --> 00:04:37,951
Come on, let's go.
32
00:05:55,840 --> 00:05:59,037
You're home early, darling.
33
00:06:02,000 --> 00:06:05,390
Joe. I said you're home early, darling.
34
00:06:06,800 --> 00:06:08,791
Yeah, I suppose I am.
35
00:06:12,640 --> 00:06:16,076
- I got us a Chinese.
- I'm not really hungry.
36
00:06:45,000 --> 00:06:50,074
You should move your bed in here,
the amount of time you spend on that machine.
37
00:07:32,840 --> 00:07:34,671
Come on!
38
00:07:34,840 --> 00:07:36,751
Come on!
39
00:07:36,920 --> 00:07:38,319
Come on!
40
00:07:38,480 --> 00:07:40,596
Bloody hell, Joe. Get a grip!
41
00:07:40,760 --> 00:07:43,149
What the hell is wrong with you today?
42
00:07:52,000 --> 00:07:54,594
- Why don't you eat it here?
- What?
43
00:07:54,760 --> 00:07:56,990
Your dinner. Eat it here.
44
00:07:57,160 --> 00:08:01,358
I always eat my dinner in front of the TV, darling.
What's wrong?
45
00:08:01,520 --> 00:08:05,832
Nothing's wrong. I just thought
it would be nice if we ate together.
46
00:08:17,800 --> 00:08:21,236
So, how was your day?
47
00:08:25,320 --> 00:08:28,630
- What did you do?
- Shopping.
48
00:08:28,800 --> 00:08:32,475
You've got to get the credit limit raised
on the Visa card.
49
00:08:32,640 --> 00:08:35,950
I got turned down in one shop.
It was embarrassing.
50
00:08:39,480 --> 00:08:44,349
- Ain't you gonna ask what I did?
- You're a fireman, darling. I know what you do.
51
00:08:44,520 --> 00:08:46,511
You put out fires.
52
00:08:48,440 --> 00:08:49,953
I'm gonna watch TV.
53
00:09:35,000 --> 00:09:36,399
Anything for me?
54
00:09:36,560 --> 00:09:38,551
Just bills.
55
00:09:54,240 --> 00:09:57,391
"We confirm
that we will be happy to act for you
56
00:09:57,560 --> 00:10:00,552
"in connection with your matrimonial matter.
57
00:10:00,720 --> 00:10:05,271
"You have instructed us that you wish
to commence divorce proceedings
58
00:10:05,440 --> 00:10:07,954
"on the grounds of..."
59
00:10:29,240 --> 00:10:31,834
- And he don't know?
- No.
60
00:10:32,000 --> 00:10:35,390
- She's doin' the dirty and he don't know?
- No.
61
00:10:35,560 --> 00:10:39,633
- You'd think he'd see the signs.
- I would have thought so, yeah.
62
00:10:40,600 --> 00:10:43,751
- Who are you talking about?
- No one you know, Joe.
63
00:10:43,920 --> 00:10:48,948
- Old pal of mine, works over at Bayswater.
- Yeah? What's his name?
64
00:10:49,120 --> 00:10:52,112
Sandy Patterson. Why, do you know him?
65
00:10:53,040 --> 00:10:58,831
Station officer was giving Sandy's wife
a good seeing-to whenever Sandy was on nights.
66
00:10:59,000 --> 00:11:04,632
The whole station knew about it. Now she's
divorcing him. He got well screwed all round.
67
00:11:26,960 --> 00:11:28,712
No...
68
00:11:30,680 --> 00:11:32,671
Stop it.
69
00:11:34,600 --> 00:11:36,909
I've got to go. Yeah.
70
00:11:37,800 --> 00:11:40,758
See you, then. OK. Bye.
71
00:11:55,920 --> 00:11:58,593
- Did somebody ring?
- When?
72
00:11:58,760 --> 00:12:00,512
Just then.
73
00:12:02,080 --> 00:12:04,116
Oh, wrong number.
74
00:12:04,280 --> 00:12:06,919
Someone wanted a minicab.
75
00:12:46,600 --> 00:12:51,230
Pre-nups are a waste of time.
I should have had her killed.
76
00:12:51,400 --> 00:12:54,915
Life behind bars. That'd teach her.
77
00:12:55,080 --> 00:12:58,868
I'd probably see the kids
more often than I do now.
78
00:13:01,440 --> 00:13:03,908
Anyone know a good solicitor?
79
00:13:05,440 --> 00:13:08,830
Oh, another lamb to the slaughter.
80
00:13:09,400 --> 00:13:11,550
I'm serious.
So am I.
81
00:13:11,720 --> 00:13:15,030
Say goodbye to your house.
And your car.
82
00:13:15,200 --> 00:13:17,839
And the kids.
No kids.
83
00:13:18,000 --> 00:13:21,436
Small mercy.
It's not my fault.
84
00:13:21,600 --> 00:13:26,355
She's the one being unfaithful...
with a guy I work with.
85
00:13:27,360 --> 00:13:29,351
In my bed.
86
00:13:31,560 --> 00:13:34,757
Makes no difference.
It's not fair.
87
00:13:41,880 --> 00:13:44,758
Whoever said life was fair, Joe?
88
00:13:45,920 --> 00:13:50,436
Do I know you?
Just shooting the breeze, Joe.
89
00:13:52,920 --> 00:13:57,630
How did you get my name?
Can't abide these stupid nicknames.
90
00:13:57,800 --> 00:14:02,715
I'm James. James Napeworth.
My friends call me Jim.
91
00:14:02,880 --> 00:14:07,510
What do you want?
Sounds like you've got a problem, Joe.
92
00:14:08,520 --> 00:14:12,593
- I solve problems.
- What are you, some sort of counsellor?
93
00:14:13,840 --> 00:14:16,638
- You could say that.
- I don't need counselling.
94
00:14:16,800 --> 00:14:20,713
- What are you doing here?
- It's two o'clock in the morning!
95
00:14:20,880 --> 00:14:23,997
It's either netball or that bloody computer.
96
00:14:24,160 --> 00:14:26,549
It's not netball. It's basketball.
97
00:14:26,720 --> 00:14:32,590
It's balls through hoops, darling.
We played it at school and we called it netball.
98
00:14:52,400 --> 00:14:54,072
Hello?
99
00:14:54,240 --> 00:14:56,310
Hello?
100
00:14:59,240 --> 00:15:03,597
No one there. I need some money
for grocery shopping, darling.
101
00:15:03,760 --> 00:15:05,716
I gave you 30 quid yesterday.
102
00:15:05,880 --> 00:15:08,075
Oh, last of the big spenders
103
00:15:08,240 --> 00:15:12,119
- I'm just saying I gave you 30 quid.
- Which I spent on your food.
104
00:15:12,280 --> 00:15:14,032
Come on. Don't be difficult.
105
00:15:14,200 --> 00:15:18,716
- It's not my fault that money's tight.
- Money's not tight.
106
00:15:19,560 --> 00:15:23,394
So, stop being such a naughty boy
and give me some.
107
00:15:23,560 --> 00:15:25,949
Come on, darling. I haven't got all day
108
00:15:26,120 --> 00:15:29,510
and you've got to get to work
and put all those fires out.
109
00:15:36,160 --> 00:15:39,948
- Do you fancy a beer, Joe?
- Yeah. Yeah, why not?
110
00:15:40,120 --> 00:15:42,873
Joe! Are you expecting a call?
111
00:15:43,040 --> 00:15:45,031
- No. Why?
- Some bloke called.
112
00:15:45,200 --> 00:15:50,035
- I said you was just leaving and he hung up.
- He'll call back if it's important.
113
00:15:50,200 --> 00:15:52,350
Whose round is it, then? Roger?
114
00:16:01,800 --> 00:16:06,271
She'll be on her back with her legs akimbo
before she knows what's hit her.
115
00:16:06,440 --> 00:16:09,273
- That's a form of Japanese martial arts.
- What?
116
00:16:09,440 --> 00:16:11,317
Akimbo.
117
00:16:12,320 --> 00:16:15,471
- What's he got that we ain't?
- Apart from good looks
118
00:16:15,640 --> 00:16:17,471
and being up for promotion
119
00:16:17,640 --> 00:16:19,710
Couldn't we just play the game?
120
00:16:21,320 --> 00:16:24,790
Don't you want to know
the secret of the man's success?
121
00:16:42,160 --> 00:16:44,310
- See you, Joe.
- See you later.
122
00:16:44,480 --> 00:16:46,550
- See you, mate.
- See you.
123
00:17:16,000 --> 00:17:17,672
How's it going, Joe?
124
00:17:19,720 --> 00:17:23,508
- Do I know you?
- James Napeworth.
125
00:17:23,680 --> 00:17:25,318
My friends call me Jim.
126
00:17:29,000 --> 00:17:31,560
A handshake won't cost you anything, Joe.
127
00:17:40,720 --> 00:17:43,280
Problem Solver, remember?
128
00:17:46,920 --> 00:17:50,629
- How did you...?
- Tricks of the trade, Joe.
129
00:17:51,160 --> 00:17:53,355
- Who are you?
- I just told you.
130
00:17:53,520 --> 00:17:55,988
Well, what do you want?
131
00:17:59,000 --> 00:18:00,991
What do YOU want, Joe?
132
00:18:01,160 --> 00:18:05,711
I told you. I don't need counselling.
133
00:18:05,880 --> 00:18:08,348
So what DO you need?
134
00:18:08,520 --> 00:18:12,911
I just need some peace and quiet, that's all.
135
00:18:18,800 --> 00:18:20,836
This is mad!
136
00:19:00,600 --> 00:19:02,989
So?
Jesus!
137
00:19:03,160 --> 00:19:05,594
Want to talk about your problems, Joe?
138
00:19:05,760 --> 00:19:09,070
Chat rooms are supposed to be anonymous.
139
00:19:10,400 --> 00:19:12,914
It sounded like you needed help.
140
00:19:13,080 --> 00:19:15,071
It's personal.
141
00:19:16,280 --> 00:19:19,955
Don't bottle it up, Joe.
It's not very good for your health.
142
00:19:20,880 --> 00:19:25,237
If this guy's been humping your wife
in your bed,
143
00:19:25,400 --> 00:19:28,392
maybe you should do something about it.
144
00:19:30,640 --> 00:19:34,872
I'm sorry. I didn't mean to rub your face in it,
145
00:19:35,040 --> 00:19:40,512
but it did sound like you needed help,
and that's what I do. I help people like you, Joe.
146
00:19:40,680 --> 00:19:42,671
Which means what?
147
00:19:42,840 --> 00:19:46,196
Which means anything you want it to mean.
148
00:19:47,840 --> 00:19:50,559
Just leave me alone.
149
00:19:51,840 --> 00:19:56,709
Joe, could you save this marriage?
Win her back, flowers, champagne?
150
00:19:56,880 --> 00:19:58,711
Woo her?
151
00:19:58,880 --> 00:20:01,394
I don't even think she likes me any more.
152
00:20:01,560 --> 00:20:05,030
I can see the contempt in her eyes.
153
00:20:06,280 --> 00:20:10,239
So what about talking
to the man she's sleeping with?
154
00:20:10,400 --> 00:20:12,709
Man to man, face to face?
155
00:20:12,880 --> 00:20:15,713
He'd laugh in my face.
156
00:20:21,600 --> 00:20:23,591
So? What do you suggest?
157
00:20:24,720 --> 00:20:27,029
I think you know, Joe.
158
00:20:27,960 --> 00:20:32,988
I mean, legally, she's entitled to half
of everything you've got and ever earned.
159
00:20:33,160 --> 00:20:35,993
- Even more if she gets a good lawyer.
- I know.
160
00:20:37,800 --> 00:20:39,791
Then you know what to do.
161
00:20:42,400 --> 00:20:45,597
We are talking about...
162
00:20:45,760 --> 00:20:48,433
I know what we're talking about.
163
00:20:50,280 --> 00:20:52,589
And it's that easy?
164
00:20:52,760 --> 00:20:56,070
Nobody said it would be that easy, Joe.
165
00:20:58,680 --> 00:21:01,319
I don't think you're ready for this.
166
00:21:01,480 --> 00:21:04,870
- Ready for what?
- The next step.
167
00:21:06,040 --> 00:21:07,837
When you are,
168
00:21:08,000 --> 00:21:10,594
email me.
169
00:21:49,120 --> 00:21:51,873
Joe, can I have a word?
170
00:22:18,400 --> 00:22:19,913
Dinner's ready.
171
00:22:25,160 --> 00:22:26,957
I didn't get the promotion.
172
00:22:27,120 --> 00:22:30,271
Aw! That's a pity, darling.
173
00:22:31,640 --> 00:22:35,189
- They gave it to Angus Thompson.
- Really?
174
00:22:41,160 --> 00:22:43,151
You know Angus, yeah?
175
00:22:43,320 --> 00:22:46,312
Bloke you were dancing with at the last social.
176
00:22:46,480 --> 00:22:50,519
I danced with lots of your mates.
That's why they call it a social.
177
00:22:50,680 --> 00:22:52,671
You'd remember Angus, though.
178
00:22:52,840 --> 00:22:54,398
He's a bit flash.
179
00:22:54,560 --> 00:22:57,199
I'm trying to watch this, darling, OK?
180
00:22:59,200 --> 00:23:02,078
- Should have been mine, by rights.
- What?
181
00:23:03,240 --> 00:23:04,639
The promotion.
182
00:23:06,680 --> 00:23:11,310
You don't want promotion.
You've got to have ambition to want promotion.
183
00:23:11,480 --> 00:23:14,631
You're quite happy
being a bog-standard fireman.
184
00:23:18,200 --> 00:23:21,476
Look, I wanna watch this, darling, OK?
185
00:23:48,280 --> 00:23:51,113
- I wasn't sure you'd come.
- I'm like a genie.
186
00:23:51,280 --> 00:23:54,989
You rub my lamp and I grant you a wish.
187
00:23:55,160 --> 00:23:58,118
What do you wish for, Joe?
188
00:23:59,000 --> 00:24:02,151
She's gonna divorce me. I'll lose everything.
189
00:24:02,320 --> 00:24:07,030
The courts always favour the women.
That's the way of the world.
190
00:24:09,000 --> 00:24:11,878
- So what do I do?
- Get someone to take care of it.
191
00:24:12,040 --> 00:24:14,031
A professional.
192
00:24:14,920 --> 00:24:16,751
And can you?
193
00:24:16,920 --> 00:24:20,196
- You know.
- Sort it for you?
194
00:24:20,360 --> 00:24:23,158
If you're sure that's what you want.
195
00:24:24,400 --> 00:24:27,073
Have you done this before?
196
00:24:38,600 --> 00:24:40,795
Home sweet home.
197
00:24:47,680 --> 00:24:51,195
- What's this about?
- You wanted proof.
198
00:25:06,520 --> 00:25:08,511
Proof you've got.
199
00:25:25,960 --> 00:25:27,951
How do I know I can trust you?
200
00:25:35,320 --> 00:25:37,311
And what does it cost?
201
00:25:39,000 --> 00:25:40,991
That depends.
202
00:25:42,200 --> 00:25:44,191
On what?
203
00:25:44,360 --> 00:25:47,557
On how much it's worth.
204
00:25:47,720 --> 00:25:52,077
How much is it worth, Joe,
to have your wife out of the way?
205
00:26:01,160 --> 00:26:03,594
Your heart's not really in this, is it?
206
00:26:04,760 --> 00:26:06,159
It's not that.
207
00:26:08,240 --> 00:26:10,629
It's a hell of a thing, isn't it?
208
00:26:12,120 --> 00:26:16,272
- It's a big step.
- And you're having second thoughts.
209
00:26:16,440 --> 00:26:18,954
I'm not sure.
210
00:26:19,120 --> 00:26:20,951
So what's holding you back?
211
00:26:23,320 --> 00:26:26,869
All you've got to do is ask, Joe.
212
00:26:28,560 --> 00:26:30,915
And you've no reservations?
213
00:26:32,360 --> 00:26:34,157
No conscience?
214
00:26:34,320 --> 00:26:38,154
Are you trying to talk me out of this or yourself?
215
00:26:41,120 --> 00:26:44,635
You've got to give this a lot more thought, Joe.
216
00:26:46,080 --> 00:26:48,116
You know.
217
00:26:48,280 --> 00:26:52,558
Consider the... the ramifications.
218
00:27:16,600 --> 00:27:19,592
Keep close, Joe.
Give it plenty of hose.
219
00:27:19,760 --> 00:27:22,638
Keep right. Right.
220
00:27:22,800 --> 00:27:28,591
I can see where I'm going.
Keep an eye on the roof. It might fall.
221
00:27:28,760 --> 00:27:31,513
Angus, are you two OK in there?
222
00:27:32,520 --> 00:27:35,114
We've got it under control.
223
00:27:35,840 --> 00:27:37,592
Angus, watch out!
224
00:27:43,400 --> 00:27:45,550
What's happening in there?
225
00:27:45,720 --> 00:27:47,517
Angus? Joe?
226
00:27:47,680 --> 00:27:49,671
Talk to me!
227
00:27:53,280 --> 00:27:55,714
It's OK. It's OK.
228
00:27:57,840 --> 00:28:02,595
I'm sending in back-up.
No! We've got it under control.
229
00:28:11,040 --> 00:28:13,634
It's all right. I've got him.
230
00:28:26,360 --> 00:28:28,510
Joe, are you OK, mate?
231
00:28:28,680 --> 00:28:31,513
- Yeah.
- Listen, good work in there.
232
00:28:31,680 --> 00:28:33,432
Thanks, guv.
233
00:28:57,440 --> 00:29:00,432
- See you, Joe.
- Yeah, see you.
234
00:29:04,640 --> 00:29:06,153
Thanks for today, mate.
235
00:29:06,320 --> 00:29:11,792
- You'd have done the same for me.
- Yeah, but I owe you one.
236
00:29:11,960 --> 00:29:15,032
Well, maybe now you'll leave my wife alone.
237
00:29:15,200 --> 00:29:18,397
- What?
- You said you owe me one.
238
00:29:18,560 --> 00:29:22,314
Maybe now you'll stay away from my wife.
Quid pro quo, yeah?
239
00:29:22,480 --> 00:29:27,031
- What the hell are you talking about?
- You messing around with my wife!
240
00:29:27,200 --> 00:29:30,351
- Don't play the innocent with me.
- Joe, on my life!
241
00:29:31,360 --> 00:29:32,918
Who are you pushing?
242
00:29:33,800 --> 00:29:38,112
- Trying to pull rank now, are you?
- It's got nothing to do with rank.
243
00:29:38,280 --> 00:29:41,078
Just leave my wife alone.
244
00:29:42,480 --> 00:29:44,277
Takes two to tango.
245
00:30:07,200 --> 00:30:11,591
Couldn't do it, could you?
No wonder she walks all over you!
246
00:30:23,800 --> 00:30:25,791
Hi, Joe.
247
00:30:38,600 --> 00:30:43,879
He's round at my house every Wednesday
evening, with her while I'm coaching.
248
00:30:44,040 --> 00:30:47,794
- Coaching?
- Basketball. At a youth club.
249
00:30:49,480 --> 00:30:51,471
I thought you could do it then.
250
00:30:51,640 --> 00:30:53,596
Oh! In flagrante delicto.
251
00:30:53,760 --> 00:30:57,389
- That would give me an alibi.
- That's good thinking.
252
00:30:58,760 --> 00:31:00,432
So how will you do it?
253
00:31:02,360 --> 00:31:05,033
Unless you've got something else in mind?
254
00:31:05,200 --> 00:31:09,990
- What about the noise? We've got neighbours.
- A silencer. Don't worry, Joe.
255
00:31:10,160 --> 00:31:12,390
I'm not a virgin at this kind of thing.
256
00:31:12,560 --> 00:31:16,792
I'll make it look like a robbery
that's gone wrong. Steal a few things.
257
00:31:16,960 --> 00:31:20,509
- She has jewellery, your wife?
- In the bedroom.
258
00:31:20,680 --> 00:31:24,355
OK. What about cash?
Do you keep cash in the house?
259
00:31:24,520 --> 00:31:27,910
She keeps her money in the kitchen,
in the coffee jar.
260
00:31:28,080 --> 00:31:29,399
I'll take that, too.
261
00:31:29,560 --> 00:31:32,472
- Smash the place up a little.
- Not too much.
262
00:31:32,640 --> 00:31:35,712
Just enough to make it look real.
263
00:31:35,880 --> 00:31:39,077
- When do I pay you?
- Cash in advance.
264
00:31:40,200 --> 00:31:42,395
That's just the way it is, Joe.
265
00:31:42,560 --> 00:31:45,870
I can hardly send you
an invoice afterwards, hm?
266
00:31:47,040 --> 00:31:49,190
Do you have it?
267
00:31:49,360 --> 00:31:52,591
Yeah, I've got some money
in the building society.
268
00:31:52,760 --> 00:31:55,069
She doesn't know anything about it.
269
00:31:55,240 --> 00:31:56,593
- What if...?
- What?
270
00:31:56,760 --> 00:31:59,513
- What if something goes wrong?
- It won't.
271
00:32:00,400 --> 00:32:02,914
You have to really want this, Joe.
272
00:32:03,080 --> 00:32:06,789
If you're having a problem
with your conscience now,
273
00:32:06,960 --> 00:32:10,316
it's gonna get a whole lot worse afterwards.
274
00:32:13,000 --> 00:32:15,958
Turn the light out!
Look what time it is!
275
00:32:55,560 --> 00:32:57,994
I'm off out now, darling.
276
00:32:59,920 --> 00:33:02,559
Make-up. Mind my make-up.
277
00:33:04,000 --> 00:33:07,310
- Where are you going?
- Out with the girls. I told you.
278
00:33:07,480 --> 00:33:09,630
Don't wait up.
279
00:33:18,600 --> 00:33:20,591
You're late.
280
00:33:24,400 --> 00:33:26,675
The money.
281
00:33:31,560 --> 00:33:33,949
I shall let myself in with a key first,
282
00:33:34,120 --> 00:33:38,272
then afterwards I shall make it look
like someone has broken in.
283
00:33:39,600 --> 00:33:42,990
Everything is gonna be OK, Joe. Don't worry.
284
00:33:43,160 --> 00:33:46,391
Wednesday evening,
you just carry on as usual, OK?
285
00:33:47,560 --> 00:33:49,357
OK.
286
00:33:49,520 --> 00:33:52,830
You leave at the same time as normal.
287
00:33:53,000 --> 00:33:56,788
You follow your exact same routine.
288
00:33:57,600 --> 00:34:01,229
Let yourself into the house.
What do you do when you get home?
289
00:34:01,400 --> 00:34:02,799
Shower.
290
00:34:02,960 --> 00:34:06,032
- But you talk to your wife first, right?
- Right.
291
00:34:06,200 --> 00:34:08,191
So do it.
292
00:34:09,600 --> 00:34:11,591
You go into the sitting room.
293
00:34:11,760 --> 00:34:13,751
There's no one there.
294
00:34:14,760 --> 00:34:17,194
You go upstairs.
295
00:34:17,360 --> 00:34:20,272
You see what you see.
296
00:34:21,280 --> 00:34:22,838
Call the police.
297
00:34:24,000 --> 00:34:29,154
Don't get too over-elaborate on the phone.
Just tell them your wife's been killed.
298
00:34:29,320 --> 00:34:32,630
They'll ask you who you are,
where you're phoning from,
299
00:34:32,800 --> 00:34:35,030
but they know exactly where you are.
300
00:34:35,200 --> 00:34:38,795
They'll have a car round in no time at all.
301
00:34:38,960 --> 00:34:42,396
Don't telephone anyone.
302
00:34:42,560 --> 00:34:44,949
Don't touch anything.
303
00:34:47,680 --> 00:34:52,231
You just stand by the phone
and wait for the police.
304
00:34:53,320 --> 00:34:57,791
- What do I say about Angus?
- Don't say anything.
305
00:34:59,600 --> 00:35:02,637
Let them ask the questions.
306
00:35:17,120 --> 00:35:19,793
What's wrong?
307
00:35:23,520 --> 00:35:27,752
- They're gonna suspect me, aren't they?
- Of course they are,
308
00:35:27,920 --> 00:35:33,392
but at the exact time they're being killed,
you'll be refereeing a basketball match.
309
00:35:33,560 --> 00:35:37,155
All the kids from the youth club
will be vouching for you,
310
00:35:37,320 --> 00:35:40,869
plus there'll be no gun,
plus it'll look like a robbery.
311
00:35:41,040 --> 00:35:44,669
Nobody's gonna point a finger at you, Joe,
312
00:35:44,840 --> 00:35:48,753
not unless you do something incredibly stupid.
313
00:35:48,920 --> 00:35:52,515
- And that's it?
- That's it.
314
00:35:54,280 --> 00:35:56,874
You'll never see me again.
315
00:35:59,640 --> 00:36:01,710
- Who will you shoot first?
- What?
316
00:36:02,880 --> 00:36:04,757
When you shoot 'em,
317
00:36:04,920 --> 00:36:07,480
who will you shoot first?
318
00:36:08,680 --> 00:36:13,913
- Well, I guess it'll be the one on top.
- What?
319
00:36:14,080 --> 00:36:16,310
For the cleaner shot.
320
00:36:16,480 --> 00:36:19,278
Probably the one on top.
321
00:36:21,920 --> 00:36:23,478
Why?
322
00:36:24,600 --> 00:36:26,591
I don't know.
323
00:36:39,960 --> 00:36:43,396
- Have you got basketball practice today?
- It's a match.
324
00:36:43,560 --> 00:36:45,676
We're playing a team from Camden.
325
00:36:45,840 --> 00:36:49,719
- Good luck tonight, Joe.
- Yeah.
326
00:36:49,880 --> 00:36:53,156
- You, too.
- What time does it start?
327
00:36:53,320 --> 00:36:55,231
- Seven.
- I'll come with you.
328
00:36:55,400 --> 00:36:59,279
- See what's been taking up all your time.
- You'd be bored rigid.
329
00:36:59,440 --> 00:37:01,829
I've got nothing better to do.
330
00:37:02,000 --> 00:37:03,479
- Hey, Rog.
- Yes, Frank.
331
00:37:03,640 --> 00:37:06,677
- Fancy watching Joe's boys in action?
- Yeah, why not?
332
00:37:17,640 --> 00:37:20,518
- Flash bastard, eh?
- Yeah.
333
00:37:21,240 --> 00:37:25,950
OK, but any cracks
about how my legs look in shorts,
334
00:37:26,120 --> 00:37:28,759
I'll send you both home.
335
00:39:00,000 --> 00:39:04,198
What are we gonna do about it?
They're killing us.
336
00:39:04,360 --> 00:39:06,874
- They're killing us!
- What?
337
00:39:07,040 --> 00:39:09,395
They're killing us. What we gonna do?
338
00:39:09,560 --> 00:39:13,075
- The referee has to stay impartial.
- They're all over us.
339
00:39:13,240 --> 00:39:15,071
They're just better on the day.
340
00:39:15,240 --> 00:39:18,391
- Get it together, lads.
- One, two, three - break!
341
00:41:04,080 --> 00:41:05,399
Joe!
342
00:41:32,880 --> 00:41:35,110
I'll let myself in with a key.
343
00:41:35,280 --> 00:41:38,955
Then afterwards
I'll make it look like someone broke in.
344
00:41:42,160 --> 00:41:45,470
What about cash?
Do you have cash in the house?
345
00:41:45,640 --> 00:41:49,110
She keeps it in the kitchen
in the coffee jar.
346
00:41:49,280 --> 00:41:51,271
I'll take that, too.
347
00:42:16,000 --> 00:42:18,594
Oh, shit!
348
00:42:19,520 --> 00:42:21,511
It's all right.
349
00:42:21,680 --> 00:42:24,513
It's all right. You can still make this work.
350
00:42:24,680 --> 00:42:29,674
It's all right. Just think, will you? Think!
351
00:42:29,840 --> 00:42:33,435
OK. They're gonna take time to get here.
352
00:42:33,600 --> 00:42:36,398
Five minutes, maybe. Maybe five minutes.
353
00:42:36,560 --> 00:42:38,551
Call the police.
354
00:42:38,720 --> 00:42:44,033
Don't get too over-elaborate on the phone.
Just tell them your wife's been killed.
355
00:42:46,120 --> 00:42:48,031
Police. Police, yeah.
356
00:42:49,600 --> 00:42:51,318
It's my wife.
357
00:42:51,480 --> 00:42:53,789
She's been killed.
358
00:42:53,960 --> 00:42:56,349
Just help me, please. Send somebody.
359
00:42:56,520 --> 00:42:59,318
Waterman. Joe Waterman.
360
00:42:59,480 --> 00:43:03,075
Number 1 Woodhouse.
Yeah, my wife Sandra. She's dead.
361
00:43:03,240 --> 00:43:07,631
And there's somebody else here
as well from work. They're both dead.
362
00:43:07,800 --> 00:43:11,873
It doesn't matter what his name is.
Just send somebody. Anybody.
363
00:43:12,040 --> 00:43:16,716
Help me, please.
Oh, my God. She's dead! She's dead!
364
00:44:26,920 --> 00:44:29,354
OK. It's OK.
365
00:44:29,520 --> 00:44:31,192
It's OK.
366
00:44:45,280 --> 00:44:46,599
It's OK.
367
00:44:46,760 --> 00:44:48,751
It's OK.
368
00:44:54,160 --> 00:44:55,513
Oh, my wife.
369
00:44:55,680 --> 00:44:59,070
My wife. Who could have killed my wife?
370
00:44:59,240 --> 00:45:01,470
She's dead!
371
00:45:27,360 --> 00:45:29,749
He killed my wife!
372
00:45:29,920 --> 00:45:31,797
Sandra!
373
00:45:31,960 --> 00:45:34,349
And that's how you found her?
374
00:45:35,520 --> 00:45:37,909
On the bed with a knife...
375
00:45:39,000 --> 00:45:41,036
A knife in her chest.
376
00:45:44,160 --> 00:45:46,799
They were both dead when you found them?
377
00:45:46,960 --> 00:45:49,155
That's right.
378
00:45:49,320 --> 00:45:51,709
You're sure about that?
379
00:45:51,880 --> 00:45:56,635
The pathologist puts the time of death
at about the time you phoned 999.
380
00:45:56,800 --> 00:46:00,236
She was dead. They both were.
381
00:46:00,400 --> 00:46:03,915
I've seen dead bodies before.
382
00:46:04,080 --> 00:46:05,399
Why the questions?
383
00:46:05,560 --> 00:46:10,475
- Why aren't you looking for whoever did this?
- Just exploring all the avenues.
384
00:46:10,640 --> 00:46:15,156
Now, can you tell me what Angus Thompson
was doing there with your wife?
385
00:46:15,320 --> 00:46:20,155
- What do you think he was doing?
- Did you know they were having an affair?
386
00:46:21,240 --> 00:46:24,835
- Are you sure about that?
- If I did, I'd have stopped it.
387
00:46:26,400 --> 00:46:32,316
Look, Sandra knew what time I came home.
She'd hardly have kept him there for me to find.
388
00:46:32,480 --> 00:46:36,268
Maybe she wanted you to find them. It happens.
389
00:46:37,480 --> 00:46:41,553
There was a burglary.
It's the burglar you should be looking for.
390
00:46:41,720 --> 00:46:45,679
- Your fingerprints are on the knife.
- It was from the kitchen.
391
00:46:45,840 --> 00:46:49,833
- Yours are the only prints on it.
- So the burglar wore gloves.
392
00:46:50,000 --> 00:46:54,790
- Why didn't they hear him break in?
- Because they were otherwise engaged.
393
00:46:54,960 --> 00:46:59,909
Maybe the bedroom door was closed.
Why am I doing all your thinking for you?
394
00:47:01,440 --> 00:47:06,150
- We'd like to keep you with us a while longer.
- I'm under arrest, is that it?
395
00:47:06,320 --> 00:47:10,393
- You think I did this?
- You're just helping us with our enquiries.
396
00:47:10,560 --> 00:47:13,358
It's more convenient if you're here with us.
397
00:47:33,560 --> 00:47:36,313
- What happened?
- We did it, Joe!
398
00:47:36,480 --> 00:47:39,756
What? It didn't happen like you said it would.
399
00:47:39,920 --> 00:47:44,436
- They're dead. It's what you wanted.
- It didn't happen how we planned.
400
00:47:44,600 --> 00:47:47,398
There was no burglary. Nothing was taken.
401
00:47:47,560 --> 00:47:49,710
And you said you'd use a gun.
402
00:47:49,880 --> 00:47:53,634
Well, what can I say?
"The best-laid plans of mice and men..."
403
00:47:53,800 --> 00:47:56,234
- They think I did it.
- Joe.
404
00:47:56,400 --> 00:47:59,995
You're trying to set me up.
You're trying to frame me!
405
00:48:00,160 --> 00:48:02,628
Now you're becoming paranoid, Joe.
406
00:48:20,600 --> 00:48:24,149
- Is there anything more you'd like to tell us?
- Such as?
407
00:48:24,320 --> 00:48:27,756
I thought things might be
a bit clearer this morning.
408
00:48:27,920 --> 00:48:30,388
Were you out looking for the burglar?
409
00:48:30,560 --> 00:48:36,317
Ah, well, we've one or two reservations
about your burglary scenario.
410
00:48:37,840 --> 00:48:39,398
Like what?
411
00:48:39,560 --> 00:48:45,669
Like the fragments of glass on the tea towel -
enough to match the glass that was broken.
412
00:48:45,840 --> 00:48:47,876
That's a worry, Mr. Waterman.
413
00:48:48,040 --> 00:48:53,433
If the burglar was outside, he couldn't have
used the towel to break the glass, could he?
414
00:48:53,600 --> 00:48:58,276
Maybe he wiped his hands
on the tea towel afterwards.
415
00:48:58,440 --> 00:49:00,556
After he broke the glass to get in.
416
00:49:00,720 --> 00:49:04,872
You've got a criminal mind, Mr. Waterman.
We hadn't thought of that.
417
00:49:05,040 --> 00:49:08,635
What did you do
after you found your wife and Mr. Thompson?
418
00:49:08,800 --> 00:49:12,110
I, er, called the police.
419
00:49:12,280 --> 00:49:14,555
- From the phone in the hall?
- Yes.
420
00:49:15,720 --> 00:49:18,154
What did you do after you made the call?
421
00:49:18,320 --> 00:49:21,437
I went back upstairs.
422
00:49:21,600 --> 00:49:23,591
So you didn't come here?
423
00:49:23,760 --> 00:49:26,558
- Here?
- You didn't come into the kitchen?
424
00:49:28,360 --> 00:49:30,590
- No.
- You're quite sure about that?
425
00:49:31,800 --> 00:49:34,792
I went downstairs to call 999...
426
00:49:36,640 --> 00:49:39,712
...then I went into the bedroom
to be with my wife.
427
00:49:39,880 --> 00:49:43,270
- What about the blood on the oven glove?
- Blood?
428
00:49:43,440 --> 00:49:47,069
Minute traces. It's a match
with Angus Thompson's blood.
429
00:49:47,240 --> 00:49:52,712
That's another worry. Now we've got glass
on the towel, blood on the oven glove.
430
00:49:53,600 --> 00:49:59,630
Well, the killer must have come down here
after he killed them, looking for money, maybe.
431
00:49:59,800 --> 00:50:04,351
That's right. You said your wife kept money
in the kitchen, in a coffee jar.
432
00:50:04,520 --> 00:50:07,512
- In there.
- There was no money in the coffee jar.
433
00:50:07,680 --> 00:50:09,238
There you are, then!
434
00:50:09,400 --> 00:50:13,154
The killer's broke in,
he's wiped his hands on the tea towel,
435
00:50:13,320 --> 00:50:15,834
he's got a knife, he's killed them both,
436
00:50:16,000 --> 00:50:21,233
then he's come in here looking for money
and got blood on the oven glove in the process.
437
00:50:21,400 --> 00:50:25,791
You should be looking for the burglar
and not wasting my time.
438
00:50:29,360 --> 00:50:32,238
How do you account for this, Mr. Waterman?
439
00:50:32,400 --> 00:50:34,709
We found this in your bathroom.
440
00:50:40,360 --> 00:50:43,193
He wasn't supposed to kill them.
441
00:50:43,360 --> 00:50:48,912
He was supposed to scare them, that's all.
I just wanted them to stop the affair.
442
00:50:49,960 --> 00:50:53,714
And how did you meet
this mysterious Mr. Napeworth?
443
00:50:54,920 --> 00:50:56,911
In a pub.
444
00:50:59,160 --> 00:51:02,072
In a pub? Just like that?
445
00:51:02,240 --> 00:51:05,038
On the internet first.
446
00:51:05,200 --> 00:51:08,078
He emailed me
447
00:51:08,240 --> 00:51:10,834
and then he came up to me in a pub.
448
00:51:11,000 --> 00:51:14,754
- And you gave him �20,000?
- That's right.
449
00:51:14,920 --> 00:51:17,639
You gave a complete stranger �20,000?
450
00:51:19,680 --> 00:51:22,638
- Where did you get it from?
- The building society.
451
00:51:22,800 --> 00:51:27,794
My father died three years ago
and he left it to me.
452
00:51:27,960 --> 00:51:30,030
For a rainy day?
453
00:51:30,200 --> 00:51:34,352
What made you so sure he'd do
what you wanted, Mr. Waterman?
454
00:51:35,240 --> 00:51:36,992
Because he showed me proof.
455
00:51:44,960 --> 00:51:47,997
- Well?
- I don't know. It was dark.
456
00:51:48,160 --> 00:51:51,311
Take your time, Mr. Waterman.
457
00:51:57,600 --> 00:51:59,875
- Turn right.
- You sure?
458
00:52:05,680 --> 00:52:08,240
That's it. That's it there.
459
00:52:12,120 --> 00:52:18,070
- It's been on the market for three months.
- Napeworth, his name was. James Napeworth.
460
00:52:18,240 --> 00:52:22,950
- The flat's been empty since the owner left.
- It's a man. Early 40s.
461
00:52:23,120 --> 00:52:25,395
He had dark hair. Brown eyes.
462
00:52:25,560 --> 00:52:29,997
Mrs. Elliot. In her 80s. Blind as a bat.
Moved into a nursing home.
463
00:52:40,400 --> 00:52:42,038
This is it.
464
00:52:42,200 --> 00:52:44,236
In here.
465
00:52:59,400 --> 00:53:02,358
There were photographs all over the walls.
466
00:53:03,800 --> 00:53:06,678
Photographs of people he'd killed.
467
00:53:24,080 --> 00:53:27,231
That's what happened.
468
00:53:27,400 --> 00:53:30,631
Now, why would I make something up like that?
469
00:53:30,800 --> 00:53:35,669
- Are you sure you didn't look for a hired killer?
- I didn't want anybody killed.
470
00:53:35,840 --> 00:53:42,188
I wanted them so scared that they'd never see
each other again, but I didn't want them dead.
471
00:53:42,360 --> 00:53:45,636
- We went to the pub where you met.
- And?
472
00:53:46,520 --> 00:53:48,511
She remembers you,
473
00:53:48,680 --> 00:53:53,993
but after your firemen friends left,
you were alone. A bit worse for wear, she said.
474
00:53:55,160 --> 00:53:58,357
When you got home and found them dead,
475
00:53:58,520 --> 00:54:03,036
why did you put the jewellery and the money
in the toilet cistern?
476
00:54:03,200 --> 00:54:08,558
Because I knew that if I didn't make it
look like a burglary,
477
00:54:08,720 --> 00:54:11,837
then you'd think it was me that killed them.
478
00:54:13,400 --> 00:54:17,473
I admit that I faked the burglary,
I admit that I paid Napeworth,
479
00:54:17,640 --> 00:54:19,835
but it wasn't me that killed them.
480
00:54:21,960 --> 00:54:28,274
Listen. I took �20,000 out of
that building society and gave it to Napeworth.
481
00:54:28,440 --> 00:54:32,991
They'll have records.
That was five days before he killed them.
482
00:54:38,000 --> 00:54:40,230
- What?
- We did check.
483
00:54:41,320 --> 00:54:43,709
- And?
- It was just as you said.
484
00:54:43,880 --> 00:54:49,238
You withdrew �20,000 five days
before your wife and her lover were murdered.
485
00:54:49,400 --> 00:54:53,996
See? That proves what I'm saying.
486
00:54:58,920 --> 00:55:02,390
We found it in the loft of your house,
under the water tank.
487
00:55:02,560 --> 00:55:05,279
You couldn't have paid anyone, could you?
488
00:55:06,120 --> 00:55:10,796
Why don't you stop wasting our time
and tell us the truth?
489
00:55:10,960 --> 00:55:16,193
There never was a mysterious stranger in a pub,
there never was a James Napeworth.
490
00:55:16,360 --> 00:55:20,797
Just you and a knife. In a rage.
491
00:55:20,960 --> 00:55:23,190
I keep telling you what happened.
492
00:55:23,360 --> 00:55:26,636
- That's not what happened!
- You met him in a chat room.
493
00:55:26,800 --> 00:55:31,954
He emailed you from an email address
that doesn't exist and never existed.
494
00:55:35,480 --> 00:55:39,598
Why would I make something up like this?
Don't you think I know how it sounds?
495
00:55:39,760 --> 00:55:44,675
Then you can understand why we don't
believe you. Nothing you say can be backed up.
496
00:55:44,840 --> 00:55:49,072
There's no Napeworth, no email.
We found the money in your loft.
497
00:55:49,240 --> 00:55:51,515
Every penny of it.
498
00:55:51,680 --> 00:55:58,552
Why would he do that? What sort of a man
would do that... kill people for free?
499
00:55:59,040 --> 00:56:01,508
Do you think we're stupid, Mr. Waterman?
500
00:56:34,120 --> 00:56:36,111
Admit it. You made him up.
501
00:56:37,320 --> 00:56:39,151
No.
502
00:56:40,400 --> 00:56:42,630
No, he's real.
503
00:56:44,480 --> 00:56:46,471
Don't you see?
504
00:56:46,640 --> 00:56:48,073
He set me up!
505
00:56:50,440 --> 00:56:53,318
He's killed them and framed me.
506
00:56:58,920 --> 00:57:01,070
It wasn't me.
507
00:57:02,760 --> 00:57:04,796
I didn't do it.
508
00:57:06,920 --> 00:57:09,718
It was him.
509
00:58:04,800 --> 00:58:08,031
Whoever said life was fair, Dave?
510
00:58:08,200 --> 00:58:11,954
Do I know you?
Just shooting the breeze, Dave.
511
00:58:12,120 --> 00:58:14,111
How do you know my name?
512
00:58:14,280 --> 00:58:18,876
Can't abide these stupid nicknames.
My name is...
40419
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