All language subtitles for Mister.880.1950.1080p.WEBRip.x264-RARBG

This is counterfeit money.

Counterfeiting began
a few minutes after

the first appearance
of currency in the world.

It's been going on ever since.

It goes on today, but at
a rapidly declining rate.

The reason for the decline
is the efficiency

of the United States
Secret Service.

A branch of the Treasury
Department, the Secret Service

is made up of intelligent,
conscientious men who work

quietly, anonymously and
with lightning effectiveness.

Because of
their constant vigilance,

it is almost impossible
for a counterfeiter

to remain in business
very long without being caught.

Sometimes it takes violence,

sometimes arrests are made
peaceably.

Seldom do they fail.

Yet despite all the efforts
of their vast organization,

there was one counterfeiter
who eluded the Secret Service

longer than any other
in their history.

He was known as
Case Number 880.

As years went on and it became
the oldest unsolved case,

they began to refer to it,
in good-natured respect

for a skillful adversary,
as Mister 880.

The responsibility
for his apprehension

fell to the most active of
the many Secret Service offices

in the country--
the one in New York.

Because 880's activities

were so aggravatingly
unprofessional,

he had them stumped.

To add to their chagrin,
the bills he produced

were ridiculously inept.

Gallagher, if you were
a shopkeeper,

would you accept that
as legal tender?

I'd have to be blind.

Now and then,
when patience ran out,

they would call in
a troubleshooter,

an agent from one of
their other offices.

This time,
it was Steve Buchanan

from the Los Angeles office.

So far, he's averaged less than
50 dollars a month.

Can't say the man's been greedy.

Guess that's why
he's been tough to catch.

Of course, what's tougher
is the one dollar bill.

We'll never educate people
to examine one dollar bills.

Obviously, he's an amateur.

Common bond paper, ink you can
buy at any stationery store.

- Uh-uh.
- Take a good look.

This is practically insulting.

In the past ten years when we've
been looking for that pest,

this office has arrested and
convicted 1,385 counterfeiters.

We've broken up some of
the most vicious gangs...

You don't have to sell yourself
to me, Thad.

I'm just selling myself
to myself, I guess.

That's what 880 does to you.

Let me ask you a question.

You've evidently
covered every angle

and followed up every lead.

What makes you think
I can crack this?

I don't.

The idea came from Washington.

- Washington?
- Yes.

The chief thinks
we've gone stale.

Thinks it needs a fresh mind,

somebody with patience
and determination.

He suggested you.

Well, after four months
with the Butcher Boy,

this might come under
the heading of fun and frolic.

I warn you, it won't.

Look, if you want out, Steve,
I can fix it.

Let me kick it around
for a couple of days.

I might hit on an angle.

A couple of days, huh?

We've been working on it
for ten years, Steve.

Yeah, I know.

Okay. Remember, I warned you.

I know you're busy,
but I'm rechecking

all the people who got stuck.

Yours was one of
the first bills reported.

You haven't had
any hunches since then

as to who it might have been?

Well, that was ten years ago.

Mean to say
you never caught that guy?

Nope.

I got no hunches, mister.

Ten years?

Hey, what have you guys
been doing all this time,

playing pinochle?

I'll tell you one thing sure,
I'll never get hooked again.

No, sir, not me.

Why, you could call me
an expert on money.

Yes, you could.

Whose picture's on
a ten dollar bill?

Uh, ten dollar?

Sure, that's easy.

A president of some kind.

Let me see,
I should know that one.

Yeah, read this.

Tells you how to spot
counterfeit money.

Morning, Gus.

Hi-ya, Skipper.

Same thing, huh?

Mm-hmm.

Hey, uh, Skipper,
here's your change.

- Thank you.
- Thank you.

Did you see this?

What's that?

A miniature spinning wheel.

Don't look practical to me.

Not practical.

Okay, Skipper.

I thought you examined
all bills?

Why, the Skipper's
an old friend of mine.

It's okay.

Hi-ya, Skipper.
How's the junk business?

Junk? What do you mean, junk?

I deal only in antiques.

I'm coming.

Oh, Skipper. It's beautiful!

For your mantelpiece.

Simply beautiful.

My grandma had one just like it.

Full size, of course.

- How much is it?
- Hmm?

- Oh, it's three dollars.
- Three dollars?

Oh, it must be worth
much more than that.

- What'd it cost you?
- Me?

Pleasant walk.

Argument with Rosy,
two dollars in cash.

Oh, that's quite an investment.

Here's five dollars. Keep it.

Skipper, look.

Isn't it sweet?

Looks lonely.

I'll ask Rosy to dig up a mate.

Heavens, I'll be late.

Skipper.

Thank you.

You always leave
your door open, Skipper.

Thank you, Maggie.

You old rascal.

Ha!

Your door was open, I came in.

Why, bless my soul.

It's Doc Duff.

Glad to see you, Doc.

You still owe me that $20.

I came to collect.

- $20?
- Yeah, for your dog.

I cured him of distemper.

Maybe you've forgotten it,
but I haven't.

Oh, yeah, yeah.

And a fine job
you did, too, Doc. Yes.

And this dog's got a heart
full of gratitude.

Has he got 20 bucks?

Ha, ha! That's a good one.
That is...

No, he hasn't, but I have.

Yeah.

I'm sorry that I've kept you
waiting, Doc.

I really forgot all about it.

Oh, go away, Please.

Go on.

His name's Please.

Funny thing about that.

I started out being polite
to him, now he's spoiled.

Won't come
unless you say "please."

Doggone it.

I must have spent that money.

Meh.

Oh, here.

Here's five dollars on account.

I'll let you have
the rest of it...

I don't want five,
I want what you owe me.

Well, I'm sorry, but I haven't
got it at the moment.

Why don't you sell some of this
junk here and pay your debts?

Oh, I couldn't do that;
they're old friends.

Don't you worry,
you'll get paid, Doc.

Come back in a couple of days.

I give you my word,
in a couple of days...

I had your word last time.

You handed me
a cock-and-bull story

about getting it from
a rich cousin or somebody.

Oh, no,
that's no cock-and-bull story.

But, you see, I-I don't like
to go to Cousin Henry,

except in an emergency.

Well, this is an emergency,
Mr. Miller.

If I don't get that money
in the morning,

you'll hear from my lawyer.

Well, now that's a shame.

We shouldn't have kept
that poor man waiting.

Well, looks like we got to go
to Cousin Henry after all.

Come on.

Thank you, Henry.

- Kings Bridge Heights.
- Kings Bridge Heights.

- Norwood.
- Norwood.

Well, so far so good.

The subway runs
all through here.

Any bills turned in by the IRT?

Yes, sir.

Oh, and, uh, here's another one.

I'm convinced he still lives
in that same neighborhood.

Let...

When he went to Staten Island,
we had one from the ferry.

Last week, he was in...

- Flatbush.
- Flatbush.

And the bill was reported
by the BMT.

Hey, that's pretty clever.

Give me the next batch,
Gallagher.

Thad, why don't you save the boy
some heartbreak.

He's planning to stalk the beast
in his original lair.

That'd be foolish, I'd suppose.

A sheer waste
of brilliant manpower.

Another 880 was just reported.

From a taxi stand down
off Washington Square.

The driver, here's his name,

- knows exactly who gave it to him.
- He does, huh?

Looks like the beast
is still down there, Mac.

What a break. Gallagher,
put that stuff in the file.

Think you'll need any help?

Could use some.

- Mac, go along with him.
- Come on, chum.

With your brains and my luck,
this'll be a breeze.

Please, Thad, I've given
a whole year of my life.

Come on!

I checked over at the house.

That's her name, all right,
Ann Winslow.

- Ann Winslow.
- Yeah.

There she is now.

Come on.

- She wants a cab.
- That's you. Go ahead.

- What if she gives me another phony?
- Take it.

Say, look, I'm out
one buck already.

This one's on me.

* She gave
the taxi driver silver, silver *

* Look out now,
here she comes, she comes. *

Let's see that bill
you just got.

That bill you just got,
let's see it.

This bill is counterfeit.

You should learn
to spot this stuff.

I'll give you a receipt for it.

Counterfeit coins are greasy.

You don't bite them,
you feel them.

Here.

- Carlos.
- Oh, Ann.

There's a rush on it.

Have you seen Ann yet?

Here she comes now.

I've finished it,
Mr. Beddington.

- Oh, you did. Good.
- I typed half the night

and I told Carlos
there was a rush on it.

Oh, fine. Thanks, Ann.

Where's, uh...
where's Jack going?

Jack.

He's supposed to be here.

Would you move over
for these gentlemen?

Certainly.

Here are your earphones.

And that's from
French to English.

If that chick's 880, she must
have started counterfeiting

in grammar school.

I'd say in about
the sixth grade.

Who said she was 880?

There's a pretty good
chance though

that she could lead us
right to him.

Oh? Could she?

We got two choices:

we either shadow the lady
or we cultivate her.

And you like cultivating her.

Naturally.

On your toes, Mac.

One cocktail.

There's no percentage in being
a knight in armor anymore.

Poor Sir Lancelot.

At least drink it slowly,
make it last.

I-I don't want
to seem ungrateful,

but I was quite prepared to deal
with the situation myself.

You wouldn't have been
half as effective.

Perhaps not.

- What's your name?
- Ann Winslow.

But at least
I would have found out

where a thing like that
leads to.

I can tell you.

No, thanks,
I'd rather be surprised.

Who are you?

- Anyone special?
- Special?

I mean, do you work
at anything or...?

Oh, I'm a French interpreter
at the United Nations.

Well.

Would you believe it-- this is
the first time a thing like this

has happened
since I've been in New York?

I was beginning to wonder
about myself.

Well, don't tell me you haven't
even been whistled at.

Oh, yes, lots of times,
but it's not the same.

It's too impersonal.

I see what you mean.

Oh, yes, I've been whistled at.

Matter of fact, I've done
some whistling of my own.

In a quiet, ladylike way,
of course.

What's your name?

Buchanan.

Steve Buchanan.

Are you anyone special?

Just someone
out to make a fast buck.

Who isn't?

Well, I didn't mean that.

Neither did you.

A fast buck implies dishonesty.

- Doesn't it?
- Uh-huh.

What's the matter?

- Why?
- I mean, you were staring at me.

I'm sorry.

It's a habit I've picked up
in New York.

I stare at people. I keep
thinking they look familiar.

It comes from seeing
too many unfamiliar faces.

Well, that's not as twisted
as it sounds.

You see, in a small town, each
face has a definite association.

It's clearly pigeonholed
in your mind.

Here, a million of them get
mixed up in a crazy sort of...

Every day, I nod to a familiar
face I never saw before.

I'll bet if you had
one more drink,

the whole thing would become
as clear as a bell.

Mm, might get more muddled.

When you were
staring at me before,

you know what I was hoping?

What?

That you were whistling.

In a quiet, ladylike way,
of course.

Well, I said I was hoping.

Well, perhaps I will have
another drink.

Great. Things are picking up
for good old Lancelot.

- Wonderful.
- It is.

In between dances, they play
soft violins at your table.

Would you like that?

I'd like it.

Here it is.

Tomorrow evening? 7:30?

- Good night.
- Good night.

- Carlos...
- Now that I see the cause of it all,

- you're forgiven.
- I'm sorry, I forgot.

I hope you haven't been
waiting long.

For about an hour.
It doesn't matter.

I'm terribly sorry.

This friend of mine,

we just happened
to bump into each other.

This friend of yours
certainly does

a lot of bumping
in the course of a day.

Here it is.

Here are three copies.

He almost knocked me over
this morning.

Mr. Buchanan?

He hit me so hard,
I thought it was deliberate.

I realize now
he probably was in such a hurry

to catch up with you.

What do you mean?

It was in the lobby this
morning, right after I left.

Do you remember?

This morning?

He certainly made a beeline
for the door.

Apparently, he did
catch up with you.

Good night.

I beg your pardon,
but I was here yesterday.

Oh, yes, of course, I remember.

And I was curious to know what
happened when the policeman...

Oh, nothing.
He didn't arrest him.

Seems he was with
the Treasury Department.

- Treasury Department?
- Yes, Secret Service agent.

He showed the policeman his
credentials, and he let him go.

I thought his behavior
was rather strange.

- Thank you very much.
- Not at all.

Thanks so much.

Bye.

Rector 2-9100.

Mr. Beddington?

Federal Office Building,
Secret Service Division.

Steve Buchanan, please.

- I want to talk to you.
- Thank you.

Would you take this
to 44 please?

Buchanan speaking.

Hello? Hello?

Oh, ask them
to send it right back.

- Yes, sir, I will.
- Hello?

Mr. Beddington,
when I applied for this job,

wasn't I thoroughly checked?

Of course you were. Why?

Can you think of any reason why

the United States Secret Service
would be after me?

Well, they'd have nothing to do
with your job here.

I met a man yesterday,

and I just found out
he's a Secret Service agent.

The two chief functions
of the Secret Service

are to guard the president
and catch counterfeiters.

I'm safe in assuming
you're not the president.

I'm suspected
of being a counterfeiter?

Oh, the chances are
a counterfeit bill

fell into your hands,
you passed it on

to someone who reported you.

It happened
to a friend of mine once.

They watched him for a few days
and decided he was innocent

and suddenly dropped him.

Never heard from them again.

You'll probably have
the same experience.

Thank you.

He's a very attractive man.

I don't think I'd like to be
dropped so suddenly.

Come in.

The door's unlocked.

Hello.

- Remember me?
- Mm-hmm.

You're the man girls whistle at.

I had a bad day,
not one whistle.

Good evening.

A vision. A veritable vision.

Thank you. I'm just about ready.

Make yourself at home.

- I'll be with you in a minute.
- All right.

I'm ready.

Shall we go?

Yes.

Oh.

Thank you.

Even to the death,
as though you were my blood,

in all your quarrels
will I be your knight.

- Lancelot said that to Elaine.
- Yep.

- That's the girl he ditched.
- He did.

By golly, you're right.

And I spent hours last night
trying to memorize it.

You know, I just thought of the
first two lines of a limerick.

I like limericks.

There once was a fellow
named Lancelot,

whose girlfriends
insisted he dance a lot,

he...

If that's a hint,
I'll try to control myself.

Well, I won't know
till I finish the limerick.

It may turn out
he's a fiend for dancing.

That's not real, is it?

What?

What'd you think it was,
a boodle of queer?

I mean, it's perfectly obvious
what it is.

Is there any more wine?

"A boodle of queer," huh?

Excuse, please, I came to ask
if there is a special number.

... "Hold Me"?

He's going to play "Hold Me."

It took a heap of yakking
to make that deal.

You having fun?

Mm-hmm.

I'll bet you are.

Waiter?

Would you mind
if I made a phone call?

Not at all. Would you mind
if I powdered my nose?

Why, not at all.

This is the third time
he's played "Hold Me,"

waiting for us to dance.

Well, let's not
disappoint the man.

How did you find out who I was?

I believe you told me.

Steve Buchanan, isn't it?

"A boodle of queer."

The word "boodle" hasn't been
used since the Civil War.

Really?

I wonder how I came to use it.

You found it in a book
published in 1870

that you took out of the library
this morning.

This came off
your Michigan bankroll.

It's good American currency.

You made a big show
of looking guilty. Why?

Well, it seemed silly that you'd
suspect me of counterfeiting.

I thought I'd give you
ample cause.

You weren't very good at it.

I suppose I could be arrested
for flouting the law.

Yes, you could.

Shall we go now?

Or-or shall we finish the dance?

I'll call the shots.

Until further notice, you're
being held in technical custody.

You passed two of his bills.
Where did you get them?

Aren't you ruling me out
as a suspect too soon?

I never rule anybody out.

I'll assume for the time being

they fell into your hands
by accident.

How?

I don't know.

Think back over the past week.

What did you do? Where'd you go?

Let me see.

I generally ride the subway,

except in business,
and then I take a taxi.

I have lunch in the cafeteria,

tea in the coffee shop.

Twice a week,
I shop at Macy's and Saks

and go to a little bookstore
on Madison Avenue.

Every Friday,
I have my hair done,

and on Tuesday...

I want you to remember where you
got one dollar bills in change.

I haven't the faintest notion.

They're playing just for us.

I'm terribly sorry, Steve.

I honestly don't remember.

But, Mac, for ten years,
he followed a definite pattern,

going from one section of the
map to another in regular order.

Here, let me show you.

Now, Flatbush was his last stop.

His next should be Borough Park,

then Bay Ridge
and then Bensonhurst.

What about the girl, Steve?

Are you through with her?

She's under constant
surveillance.

Now, I went to Borough Park
just yesterday,

and the first express stop there
is Webster Avenue.

You'd need 30 or 40 men
to cover a whole neighborhood.

Oh, not necessarily, Mac.

You see, we found out
that his behavior

followed
a definite pattern, too.

He favored certain places.

He seemed to like
a busy drugstore,

an Automat, if there is one,
a beer joint, a cigar store.

These four, mind you, these four
had the highest percentages.

Now, I've picked out four spots
in Borough Park...

How do we know
when he's gonna be there?

We don't.

We just sit around for hours,
for days maybe, praying?

- That's the deal.
- Holy smokes!

I've played long shots
in my time, but...

All right, okay.

If anybody here's got
a sure thing, I'll go along.

Look, we haven't had a sure
thing on 880 in ten years,

and never will have.

Go ahead, Steve.

I know it's a long shot,
Mac, but...

well, it'd be a shame
to-to waste all this research,

now wouldn't it?

Tell him about Coney Island.

Coney Island.

We found out that every year,

practically on the same Sunday
in the same month,

he went to Coney Island.

Let's see, he liked,
uh, the roller coaster,

the fun house and the whip.

So, children, come next Sunday,

if we haven't nabbed him
by then,

we're all going to Coney Island.

Goody-goody.

All right, let's get back
to Borough Park.

I've briefed the cashiers,
but you know what that's worth.

They just won't be bothered
with one dollar bills.

So we'll have to keep
our eyes open

for anybody
that looks suspicious.

Now, you know the kind.

The fellow that tries
to get out fast,

doesn't stop
to count his change.

Or in the Automat,
the one who gets his nickels,

but doesn't stop to eat.

Now, if we have
any kind of luck,

just the least bit of luck,
I know we'll get him.

No suspicious-looking
characters, huh?

Only hungry ones.

She's a big help.

For the first hour, she examined
every bill carefully.

After that, look at her.

They're all the same.

I guess it's a lost cause, Mac.

Not for me; I'm doing research.

In an average eight-hour day,

that girl handles
18,240 nickels.

That's worth knowing.

I'll be up the street.

Ten, please.

Remarkable.

She never makes a mistake.

Fast as lightning, too.

You ought to watch her sometime.

Mousie.

I ain't passing the stuff
no more, Mr. McIntire.

Honest, I ain't.

Come on over here.

Let me see
that last bill you got.

This is a five.
Are you sure this is it?

Sure. Sure, it is.

She gave me four singles
and the rest in change.

Here it is. Huh?

He's right; I remember him.

Mousie, what were you
running out like that for?

You came in here to eat,
didn't you?

Well, I always get nervous
when I see you, Mr. McIntire.

Okay, Mousie.

Hey, Mousie.

A phony.

It's one of the bills
she give me.

Well, you got me so nervous.

Can you imagine me
taking a queer?

A guy that was shoving
this stuff wouldn't hang around.

Would he, Mr. McIntire?

I'll be over at the cigar store.

- Okay.
- Hey.

I don't lose the buck, do I?

Now you know how it feels,
Mousie.

Oh.

Yep, it's an 880 all right.

Passed one right under my nose.

Well, Mac, somebody right in
front of him gave her this bill.

Can you remember who it was?

The only one I can remember
is an old geezer.

Nah, it couldn't have been him.

He wore the buffalos
off the nickels counting them.

- You're sure?
- Yeah.

He hung around the place
too long for a shover.

Well, you better tell the boys
he's in the neighborhood.

Make sure they're awake.

I got to hand it to you, Steve.

I thought you were way off base.

This is the closest we ever...

If he sticks to form,
he should be in here any minute.

There it is!

Hey, you want to see the parade?

- Yeah!
- I do, too.

Come on. Come on.

Let's see the parade.

Oh.

Poor 880.

He escaped your clutches
in Borough Park,

but I have a distinct feeling
he's doomed.

I've got the feeling that
you're the type that's dogged,

the kind that hangs on
and on until he...

I think I've finally got it.

Got what?

The rest of that limerick.
Listen.

There once was a fellow
named Lancelot,

whose girlfriends insisted
he dance a lot,

but his armor had riveting
so bad that when pivoting

the poor guy kept losing
his pants a lot.

It's wonderful.

You stuck to it until
you finally got it, didn't you?

"A boodle of queer."

I know a great deal
about counterfeiting now.

I've read all those books
from cover to cover.

Incidentally, you never did tell
me how you found out who I was.

The woman in the art store

turned out to be
a friend of mine.

Oh. Say, that's mighty slick.

Huh.

Counterfeiting wasn't
a very healthy occupation

in the old days, was it?

They used to cut off your ears.

Noses, too.

You'd like to see that
done today, wouldn't you?

Well, noses might be
overdoing it.

What are you doing tomorrow?

Skipper has to take
a flock of kids to the zoo.

Skipper?

Oh, yes, the old boy.
He's quite a character.

- I promised to go with him.
- Gee, that's too bad.

I have to go to Coney Island
on official business.

It's in connection with 880.

I thought maybe...

Say, do you think the Skipper
would pass up the zoo

if I took them to Coney Island?

I'm sure he would. He'd love it.

And so would the kids
and so would... I.

If we're going to that movie,
we'd better get started.

It's amazing how much good money
there is in circulation.

I only spotted
a couple of Mexican quarters.

Did he make them pinch?

It was a six-year-old
with a nose full of freckles.

Think I'll go over
and check with Joe.

All right, don't be fresh.

The lady, come on,
step right up.

He who hesitates is lost.

Fool the expert
and win a souvenir.

I think I can.

Well, I don't think
you can, lady.

It's only 25 cents, one quarter,
part of a...

Be with you in a minute, bud,
soon as I finish with the lady.

Oh, go on, it's a fake.

- It isn't a fake.
- They fixed the scales.

Just a minute, mister.

You say it's a fake,
you say I got a gimmick.

Tell you what I'm gonna do.

No hands on the scales,
no hands on this charming lady.

I say this little bundle
from heaven

weighs 114 and a half pounds.

All right, lady, sit down,
make yourself comfortable.

This won't hurt a bit.

Now, let's see.

115 pounds!

- That's wonderful!
- Yes, sir!

Must have some hidden charms
invisible to the naked eye.

All right, that's 25 cents,
one quarter, part of a dollar.

There you are, sir.
There's your change.

What a racket!

No racket, mister, no racket.

Now, who's next?
What do you say?

This little girl here.

All right, come on, little girl.

Here you are.

They wanted to go
on the roller coaster.

The roller coaster?

All right, now, who's next?

Fool the expert and win...

I want a dog one!

Come on right up.
Only 25 cents,

one quarter, part of a dollar.

All right, let's just, uh...

Yes, sir. All right, kids,
now watch out.

Let me through here, please.
I'll be right with you.

Yes, sir, you want a dog one,
buddy? All right.

That's 25 cents, one quarter
part of a dollar.

Hey, Skipper, are we gonna go
on the roller coaster?

- Yes, sir. -Roller coaster!
- Roller coaster!

Well, Coney Island
sure was a bust.

Let's hope we have better luck
in Bay Ridge.

Look, Steve, the Baroda case
is coming to a head.

I'm afraid I'm gonna have to put
George and Olie back on it.

Okay.

Mac can go on working
with you for a while.

He's developed into
quite a fan of yours.

Look, anytime 880 gets
into your hair,

- I mean, anytime you want to drop it...
- Drop it? Why?

Well, I don't want to see you
make a career of it.

After all, there are
more important things than...

There's an irate citizen outside
from Coney Island,

brought in this 880.

Says he can give us a perfect
description of the passer.

No, sir, Thad,
I'm not dropping this yet.

I break for a sandwich,
see, and I'm counting up,

and here's this phonus bolonus.

Quick as a flash,
I know who it is.

He's a wise guy, see...

There he is! That's him!
That's the dirty crook!

Called me a fake!
How do you like that?

He's with this tomato, see,
and he says that my scale...

- Charlie.
- Huh?

If it's this crook,
he's already under arrest.

Thanks for reporting him to us.

He's a very dangerous character.

20 years
I've been in this business...

- Well, this is one for the book.
- Yeah.

But he was there, Thad,
he was there.

He was in Borough Park on
schedule and now Coney Island.

At least we know
we're on the right track.

In fact, we're one jump
ahead of him.

His next stop is Bay Ridge.

If we don't get him
in Bay Ridge,

we'll get him in Bensonhurst;
if not Bensonhurst...

Think you can handle this alone,
just you and Mac?

Sure. Sure.
Look, let me handle it.

I'll talk to those cashiers.

I'll give them a going over
they'll never forget.

Where are those cards?

One of these will be placed
in every cash register

between Bay Ridge and Canarsie.

Check.

Come on, hurry up.

Okay, just a minute.

Thanks.

Hello.

Oh, hello, Mary.

- Oh, just a minute.
- All right.

25 cents more.

Just a moment.

Counterfeit?

"Warning. How to identify."

Guess we'll have to
look for some.

25 cents.

Thank you, Mary.

Oh, this is yours.

Just a moment, sir.

Thank you.

Oh.

Hey, wait a minute, mister!

Hey, you!

Oh! Hey, Joe!

Yeah?

Joe, come here quick!

Look. Look.

Hi-ya, Skipper.

Good-bye, Henry.

Are you sure
you don't want a drink?

No, thanks.

It's a great help knowing
his age and that he's German.

I guess it's just
a matter of time now.

Where are we going tonight?

I can't get away from the idea

that he still lives
in this neighborhood.

Chances are, that's where
you got those two bills.

Don't you ever relax?

That old boy,
what's-his-name, Kimmel.

Fella runs the stationery store.

Do you know anything about him?

Nothing,
except he's a sweet old man.

You'd suspect anybody,
wouldn't you?

He's got a German accent.

There's a home for the aged
around the corner.

It's full of old men
with German accents.

I've already been there.

You weren't.

I could very easily learn
to dislike you.

Oh, Please.

Night, Skipper.

It was just a shot in the dark.

You ought to be
ashamed of yourself.

Yes.

Oh, I knew this would happen.

I knew, once he got started,
he'd never quit.

What a waste of talent.

Well, maybe he'll take
the assignment overseas.

I told him to think about it.

Okay, I'll take another crack
at him and call you back.

Right, sir.

Yes, sir?

Is Mr. Buchanan here?

He's in the far room, sir.

I'll get him.

Steve.

- Hello, Thad.
- How are you?

Steve, Mac has asked to be
taken off the case.

After all, there hasn't been
an 880 come in

in quite a while now.

I guess the old fire horse
wants some action.

I sent him out
with Olie this morning.

They're rounding up
the Baroda mob.

Should be coming in
any minute now.

- Anything else?
- No.

How was Washington?

Hot.

I suppose you'd like to know
why the chief sent for me.

It's about a deal in France.

France?

There's a popular demand
for the American dollar

in Europe right now.

Outfit in Marseille
figures on satisfying it.

Sounds like big stuff.

When are you leaving?

Well, I don't know.

Chief said if I didn't
want the assignment,

- I didn't have to take it.
- You take it, Steve.

This deal probably
involves millions.

After all, 880 is just...

880's a counterfeiter.

He's breaking the law.

If we can't stop him,
we might as well close shop.

Yes?

They have the Barodas here.

Okay.

Quiet!

I'm not talking to you.

Hey, Steve!

Baroda mob.
We caught them red-handed

with a box full of phony tens.

Nice work, Mac.

We got the plates, too.
Come on.

Now, listen,
I don't want to waste

any more time with you guys.

I want the truth.

Mind what I say now.

You get up in
that United Nations,

and you tell them what I said.

One week of silence--
that's what they need.

The more jabbering they do,

the more arguments
they get into.

I'm Irish. I know.

Morning. Morning.

Well, somebody's in a big hurry.

Piece got chipped off this.
Got to get it fixed.

Oh, he loves that figure.

Miss Winslow, would you come up
with me a minute?

I want to show you something.

What?

Never remembers
to lock his door.

Look at this room.

What happened?

Well, that statue was the last.

I've seen them go,
piece by piece.

Kept him from being lonely,
those things.

He used to make up stories

about the kind of homes
they came from.

I always said he was living with
a lot of nice...

Maggie, what did happen?

He never really earned enough
to live on.

Used to get money
from his rich cousin,

till he passed on.

Well, didn't he leave him
anything?

Guess not.

I'll never forget how brave
the Skipper was in his grief.

He just said,
"I had to bury Cousin Henry."

May God rest his soul.

I'm sorry to be so late.

Want something?

Nothing for me, thanks.

I've only a few minutes.

- Waiter?
- Yes, sir?

How'd you make out?

I was a big success.

- Oh, the check please.
- Yes, sir.

I saw the manager; he runs our
house and the one the next door.

He said Skipper could be
a sort of handyman.

He's very good at fixing things,
you know.

He said he'd give him
his rent free and $70 a month.

Isn't that wonderful?

Oh, that's swell, Ann.

Really swell.

What's your good news?

Oh, something terrific.

I couldn't wait to tell you.

Well, tell me quick.

I'm going to France.

France?

Uh-huh. Big assignment.

International stuff.

Steve, it's exciting.

I haven't been there
since the war.

What about 880?

I gave him back to the Indians.

Ann, do you think there's
a chance that...

well, that you could
wangle a trip over?

I don't know. I'll try.

We'd be in Paris together.

Who's going to work on 880?

I don't know, and I don't care.

It's peanuts compared to this.

Make them take you.
Put on the old charm.

We'll have a great time.

I'll take you around
to places in Paris,

places you never heard of.

The respectable ones, of course.

I've only been
to the other kind.

I hope you have liked
the schnecken.

I hope you have liked
the schnecken.

Oh, yes, yes, very good.

I'll have to start brushing up
on my French.

I think I'll fly.

That is,
unless we can go together.

In that case,
I'd prefer a slow boat.

One that would...

- That isn't German, it's Dutch.
- I know.

Steve, are you sure you gave 880
back to the Indians?

Look, I told you before,

he's deader than a doornail
as far as I'm concerned.

Someone once said
that a task left undone

creates a void that no amount
of achievement can fill.

Who's the imbecile
that dreamed that one up?

I am.

Skipper.

You found the mate!

Oh, you're a darling.

It's my last transaction
in antiques.

You're sweet to remember.

On Monday, I start a new career.

Suppose you've heard about
my new job?

The news travels so fast,

I thought it was
a presidential appointment.

How much is this one?

They wanted me to start today.

I said, "Start a new career
on a Saturday?

That doesn't make sense."

- Skipper, how much?
- Hmm?

The spinning wheel.

Oh, three dollars, same as last.

Oh, don't be silly.

The other one was five.

Now, here.

Oh, when you start something,

you always start
at the beginning.

Yeah, starting a new career on
a Saturday is just going to...

Well, I was sure
I had two dollars here.

Someplace.

I won't take it, Skipper.

Oh, they look beautiful
together.

I insist on paying
the same price.

You will, soon as I find
the two dollars.

Whoops.

Ah.

My new job calls for
a celebration.

I'm going out to get some
things, bottle of wine maybe.

- You're invited.
- Skipper.

Hmm?

Are you sure
it was three dollars?

Huh?

For the first one.

Oh, the first one.

Yes, yes, I put the change
in your purse.

I see you're having company
for lunch.

He's invited, too.

Good afternoon, Mr. Buchanan.

Hello, Maggie.

C-Come in.

Hi.

You're on time.

I like people who are on time.

Well, a banquet.
You should have warned me.

I'd have come prepared
with a speech.

Mr. Buchanan, you always come
prepared with a speech.

Hey.

Usually, it's a very pretty one.

Ah, that's better.

If you like, after lunch,
I'll help you with your French.

I had a talk with the chief.

I told him to get himself
another boy.

I'm staying here.

You were right.

880 would have haunted me
the rest of my life.

I'll have to get him
out of my system

before I tackle anything else.

Funny about yesterday,
my getting sore I mean.

I knew I was kidding myself, but
I didn't like your knowing it.

How'd you get so smart, hmm?

Come here.

Let me see.

Yep, it's in your eyes.

Your eyes are much older
and wiser than you are.

Steve.

If 880 were caught,
what would the penalty be?

Up to 15 years.

He isn't likely
to get the maximum, is he?

If I ever lay my hands
on that old crook,

that's just what he will get.

That experience in Bay Ridge
scared him off for a while,

but he'll step out again--
they always do.

I got him
pretty well covered everywhere,

including this neighborhood.

I got a hunch he'll...

Darling, what's the matter?

Would you like
to talk it out with me?

Hello.

Who?

Yes, he's here.

It's your office.

Hello. Yeah, hello, Thad.

Yeah, sure, sure. It's just
a couple of blocks from here.

I know where it is.

This may be it, Thad. Thanks.

I knew it.

I knew he couldn't hold out.

They just caught someone passing
an 880 in a grocery store.

They got him
down at the police station now.

I'll phone you, give you
a play-by-play account.

Your husband will feel better
after a little rest.

- Oh, can't I...?
- He's sleeping it off.

Where's the, uh...?

Right here.

- Hello, son.
- Hi.

- What's your name?
- Bobby.

Where'd you get this, Bobby?

Won it in a crap game
from Johnny Sloan.

He said it was the McCoy.

- You know where Johnny lives?
- Sure.

- I'll take you in the prowl car.
- Fine.

- Thanks a lot, Vincent.
- Quite all right.

Come on, Bobby.
Let's go see Johnny.

Attaboy.

I-I got it from Willie.

Speak up. Answer the gentleman.

Gave him all my bottle tops,
my special ones.

From Willie, huh?

Yes, sir.

Thanks, Johnny. Ma'am.

Willie?

- Willie!
- What?

Come here.

Where'd you get that bill?

I let Mickey play first base,
and he gave it to me.

Mickey's loaded with them.

I put some ink on it
and I try it, see.

I figures it's stage money,

so I starts making deals
with him.

There it is. That's the house.

Hold on to this press, Sergeant.

Right here it was.

The fellas were
looking for me, see,

and I'm hiding
in back of this push cart.

Then this dog comes along and
starts scraping away like mad.

Pretty soon, I see a handle,
so I starts yanking on it.

What kind of a dog was it?

One of them shaggy ones.

You know, the kind
with hair in their eyes.

Sort of gray one.

Thanks, Mickey.
You go on back to the car.

Stupid old beggar.

See that Mickey gets home,
Sergeant.

Take good care of the press
for me; I'll pick it up later.

Steve!

Steve.

While I've been waiting for you
to come back,

I kept telling myself I'd have
to be sensible about this,

I'd have to be practical.

I can't, Steve.

He's a very old man.

One of the kindest human beings
I've ever known.

Steve, he can't survive
a long jail term.

He's a counterfeiter.

No matter what you or I
think of him, he robbed people.

He reached into their pockets
and robbed them.

Oh, it's you, Ann.

Wonderful. Hmm.

You're ahead of me.

Wonderful.

Thank you, Ann.

Wonderful.

I had a lot of trouble
to get the wine I wanted.

I said to the man...

Why... it's Mr. Buchanan.

Now, wasn't that nice of him
to accept my invitation?

Yes, indeed.

I...

Yes, I said to the man,
I said...

Now, uh...
on, where's my corkscrew?

Ah, thank you, Ann.

Thank you.

Here, here, here, y-you open it.

I'll get the glasses.

Yes.

Yes, I said to the man, I said,

"When I ask for lead vermouth,
I want..."

I'll get the glasses.

Yes.

I said to the man,
"When I ask for lead vermouth,

I want lead vermouth," I said.

Not vinegar
with a fancy label. Huh?

I'm with the United States
Secret Service, Skipper.

Oh.

He didn't know
he was dealing with

a connoisseur of fine wines.

- Skipper.
- Huh?

Have you been passing
counterfeit one dollar bills?

Counterfeit bills?

Oh, yes. Yes.

For quite some time now.

Here, wait till you taste this.

Secret Service.

Well, well.

Oh, yes, for quite some time.

Well, here we go.

Down the hatch.

Ah, yes.

That's it.

Once you taste lead ver...

Skipper...

you'll have to come down
to the office with me.

The office?

Mm.

Yes, yes, your office.

Of course.

They'll probably want to ask me
a lot of questions.

Oh, let me see,
there'll be some things to do.

Oh, yes, Please.

I don't suppose
they'd let him...

No, no, he'd only
to interrupt us.

He can be a nuisance sometimes,
especially in strange places.

Yeah.

I'll take care of him, Skipper.

Will you?

Thank you. Thank you.

In case I'm detained, he likes
ground meat at least once a day.

You'll need a lawyer.

I have a friend.

Lawyer? Oh, no, no, no.

We don't want to bother anybody.

Mr. Buchanan and I can dispose
of this without outsiders.

Yes. Guess there's a lot
of detail to a thing like this.

All sorts of forms to fill out.

Hope it won't take long.

Wouldn't like it to spoil
your evening with Ann.

Now, you stay here and behave.

Yes, sir, it's true.

Hear we got 880.

Yes, he's inside.

Hello?

Yes, Mr. Reynolds, it's true.

He's been caught.

No, sir, I wouldn't say that.

Hello, Mac.

This is 880?

Why, this is the old geezer
from Borough Park.

Yeah, and our guest
in Coney Island.

They've been asking
a lot of questions.

You might be able
to think of some, too.

Brother, I could ask a million.

Congratulations.

Thanks.

Tell me this, Mr. Miller.

Did it ever occur to you
that this was like stealing?

That every person who accepted
a counterfeit from you

suffered a loss?

Did you get that,
Miss Gallagher?

Oh, I was afraid
he was talking too fast.

Uh, what was the question?

I was talking about the people
who got stuck with your bills.

- I wanted to know if...
- Oh, yes.

Yes.

Well, it didn't amount to much.

I never gave anyone
more than one bill.

Made sure about that.

You mean you planned it
that way?

Oh, yes. Yes, indeed.

And I'd always buy something
from them.

They could make
a profit on that.

So the loss wasn't too great.

Less than a dollar.

I'm sure nobody minded it.

Mr. Miller, I understand you
were in the Navy for many years.

Machinist.

First class.

You were eligible
to enter a veteran's home.

Now, instead of committing
a crime against your government,

wouldn't you have proven
a better citizen if you had...

Oh, no.

Goodness no.

I thought about that.

I looked up the records.

It costs the government $82.70
a month for each person.

I didn't need over $40 or $50.

Saved the government
a lot of money.

Yes, indeed, quite a bit.

He's all yours, Steve.

Take him down to the
commissioner's for arraignment.

Come on, Skipper.

Oh, I want to thank all of you.

You've been very kind to me.

I tried, Ann, but it was no use.

He told me I was a nice man

and would I please stop annoying
him with silly questions.

I know.

He insists on pleading guilty.

I even had difficulty
getting him to accept bail.

- Shall I ask him to wait?
- Yes, please.

Aren't you even going to court?

Well, I can't
force myself on him.

Thanks, Jimmy.

You know anything
about Judge O'Neil?

Yes.

Look, Ann, you may as well
be prepared.

He's going to
have to go to jail.

The only hope I had
was to cut the sentence down

to, well, maybe a year or two.

Well, a year or two
wouldn't be so awful.

- But I'm afraid...
- A lot will depend on

the Secret Service office,
how hard they push it.

- Yes, I know that.
- Buchanan could help.

Yes, he could.

Thank you again, Jimmy.

There were so many
embarrassing questions,

I had to get out of Washington.

And all I've heard here is
what a quaint character he is,

that nobody knows
what to do about him.

If you saw him, Chief,
he's such a harmless old...

Harmless? The man who drove us
crazy for ten years, harmless?

Well, I'm a quaint character
myself.

I know what to do about him.

We'll see to it that
he's prosecuted to the fullest

like any other counterfeiter.

Where's Buchanan?

I hope he hasn't been
bitten by the bug.

- I don't think so.
- Well, where is he?

Haven't seen him
for the last few days.

He asked for some time off.

Better turn up in that courtroom
this morning.

He'll be there, Chief.
Don't worry.

- Let's get some breakfast.
- Right.

I couldn't stay away.

Here ye, here ye, here ye.

The Honorable
United States Court

for the Southern District
of New York is now in session.

Good morning.

Good morning, Your Honor.

The United States of America
v. William Miller.

The United States of America?

My goodness.

The Secret Service clearly
established during the hearing

that the bills
the defendant admitted passing

and those turned into them
over a period of years

bear the same serial number.

Your Honor, this case has cost
the United States Secret Service

more time and money
than any other case

in its entire history.

I would suggest
that the defendant...

Hmm? Oh, I'm sorry.

I would suggest
that the defendant

pay a little more attention.

Miss Winslow is a very good
friend of mine, sir.

This is more important.

Yes, sir.

Before I impose sentence,
Mr. Miller,

I'll give you another
opportunity to get counsel.

If you wish,
I'll agree to a postponement.

If Your Honor please,
may I approach the bench?

I've been asked by his friends
to represent the defendant.

And although he insists
he doesn't need me,

with the court's approval,
I would like to present

certain facts
for your consideration.

- Mr. Miller?
- Yes, sir.

Will you please tell me
just why you feel

you have no need for counsel?

Well, it seemed to me, sir...
it seemed to me

he was going to
a heap of trouble for nothing.

Aren't you disturbed that
you might have to go to jail?

Jail? Never been there, Judge.

Can't be disturbed about a place
I've never been to.

You can see for yourself,
Your Honor,

that despite his objections...

Probably a lot of
very nice people there.

Go ahead.

I was going to say, Your Honor,
that despite his objections,

someone should speak
in his behalf.

But there's one thing
that does disturb me, Judge.

- Yes, what is it?
- The thing that man read out

about the United States
of America versus me.

I'm afraid that's not true.

Goodness,
the United States of America?

That's a tremendous amount
of people

to have against you, isn't it?

I've got a lot of friends,
Judge.

Some of them are right here
in this court.

I'm sure they're not against me.

With the court's permission,

I'd like to continue.

Perhaps you'd better
get his permission.

Oh, let him go ahead, Judge.
He's got it on his chest.

Let him get it off.

Proceed.
You have his permission.

Well, Your Honor,
he's pleaded guilty,

so there's nothing more
to be said about that,

but I respectfully call the
court's attention to the fact

that the defendant is
an old man, 73 years of age.

Mr. Lee, I'm sorry
for a man 73 years old,

but I have always dealt severely
with counterfeiters

as a matter of public policy.

I see no reason
to depart from that policy

merely because of his age.

Anything else, Mr. Lee?

Yes, Your Honor, there is.

I think intent
should be considered.

The circumstances under which
he began his counterfeiting.

- He's a junk dealer.
- Sure.

Now, it's quite possible
that one day among the things

he picked up was this
printing press and those plates.

Well, naturally
they aroused his curiosity,

and he decided
to experiment with them.

- No.
- Just as the boy who found them

in his backyard experimented.

Yet no one would think of
prosecuting that boy.

- No.
- Now, Your Honor,

I don't contend
that because this man is...

No, no, Mr. Lee, you're wrong.

Wrong.

He's mistaken, Judge.

Quite mistaken.

I bought that printing press.

And those plates,
I made those plates myself.

Yes, indeed.

Took me quite some time.

Not easy, you know.

No.

But I wouldn't want you to have
the wrong impression, Judge.

No.

Sorry to contradict you,
Mr. Lee.

Thank you, Your Honor.

- What do you recommend?
- Hmm?

No recommendation.

Where is, uh... Buchanan?

Where's the Secret Service man
who, uh...

Is Buchanan present?

Hey, Your Honor.

What do you recommend?

I've never had any sympathy
for counterfeiters, Your Honor.

I don't have any now.

I agree with the court
that counterfeiters should be

dealt with
as severely as possible.

Thank you, Mr. Buchanan.

If it please the court?

There is something
I would like to add.

Yes?

While the defendant is
guilty of a crime,

I-I don't think he should be
treated as a criminal,

as an enemy of society.

What he did wasn't because
of greed or because he...

because he wanted
to get rich quick.

He printed just a few bills
at a time,

only when he needed money badly,
and then not always for himself.

You arrested this man.

Are you now pleading for him?

I realize it's unusual,
Your Honor,

but the defendant is
an unusual man.

Ask his neighbors.

Ask his many friends
if they think

the Skipper is
an enemy of society.

I asked them.

They know him only as a kind,
gentle, honest human being.

You saw an example of it
only a moment ago

when Mr. Lee
tried to defend him.

It just wouldn't occur to the
Skipper not to tell the truth.

Or even let anybody
color it for him.

You don't often find a man
with that kind of honesty.

Your Honor, government agents
are trained to be skeptical.

I wasn't satisfied with
my own opinion of him

or the opinion of his neighbors,

I investigated his past to see

if he was engaged in
any other criminal activities.

I'm happy to say
I couldn't find any.

But I did run across something

which you might
want to consider.

The defendant spent
a good part of his life

in the United States Navy,
and in 1918, when he was

41 years of age, he received
a decoration for bravery.

I have a photostatic copy
of the citation here.

In case you're interested.

You seem to have gone to a great
deal of trouble for this man.

Why?

That's hard to say, Your Honor.

Maybe I was influenced by
something I read the other day.

It was in a book
I happened to pick up.

Justice is too often
administered by fixed rules,

without regard for the feelings
of the human mind

or the charity
in the human heart.

A book you happened to pick up?

Yes, Your Honor.

I was the author of that book.

Yes, Your Honor.

Despite the quotation
from my book, I still believe

that counterfeiters, whoever
they are, must be sent to jail.

We cannot make an exception in
this case or in any other case.

This man broke the law.

However, in view of
the defendant's extreme age

and, uh...
the other considerations,

the sentence will be
kept at a minimum.

Nine months.

Thank you, Your Honor.

Yes, sir. Thank you indeed.

Your Honor,
may I approach the bench?

- Thank you, Steve. Thank you.
- Skipper.

Mr. Lee.

Thank you, Mr. Lee.

- In court, huh?
- Oh.

I have been reminded
that a sentence of nine months

does not provide for parole.

It has been suggested that it be
changed to a year and a day

so that the defendant
could get off in four months.

The sentence is changed
to a year and a day.

Thank you, sir.

Skipper.

Oh, for heaven's sake.

I have also been reminded

that the sentence must be
accompanied by a fine.

We will make this nominal, too.

One dollar fine.

Dollar fine.

Oh.

Skipper, maybe you'd better
let me pay.

Oh, no. No, no.

Let's go.

Skipper.

Good-bye.

I'll come to see you very soon.

Mm.