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Brought to you by iRiS | TRiNiTY
§ Enjoy the flick §
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1994.
Welcome to Staten Island,
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a great year
and a great place to grow up.
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That's Stacey, my hula girl.
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Oh, oh,
that's me in high school.
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Man, look at that hair.
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I look just like
Chandler Bing, right?
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Just go with it.
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♪ You're always asking
what it's all about ♪
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Rooty-toot-toot!
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00:00:46,900 --> 00:00:50,403
- Hey, Q.
- Hey!
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00:00:50,471 --> 00:00:51,939
Hey, how's your sister doing?
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Wouldn't you like to know?
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I would. I really would.
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♪ Your purple prose
just gives you away ♪
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♪ The things you say ♪
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♪ You're unbelievable ♪
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Dad.
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00:01:06,185 --> 00:01:07,420
Can I have permission to go
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00:01:07,488 --> 00:01:08,956
to the Paula Abdul concert,
please?
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- Go, Sal, go.
- I know the rules, Dad.
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I will check in,
I will beep you, I'll call.
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Okay, rule number one,
we love each other.
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Rule number two,
see rule number one.
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Please get out of the house
and go.
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Okay. People smoke marijuana.
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Do the weed. Take a shot.
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Just get out of the house.
Please, go.
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00:01:22,368 --> 00:01:23,069
Just go!
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Oh, hey, Q!
I'll be right there.
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♪ The things you say ♪
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♪ Your purple prose
just gives you away ♪
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♪ The things you say ♪
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♪ You're unbelievable ♪
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♪ Oh! ♪
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00:01:42,789 --> 00:01:44,791
Hey, fellas.
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00:01:47,226 --> 00:01:49,228
'Sup?
My best friend, Sal.
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And there's Q too.
Hey, guys.
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♪ Whoa, man! ♪
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♪ Seemingly lastless,
don't mean you can ask us ♪
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00:02:00,807 --> 00:02:03,010
Oh-ho-ho!
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♪ Think of the fine times ♪
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Boys!
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00:02:05,579 --> 00:02:06,980
- I have a question.
- Yeah?
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Are you forever my girl?
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Straight up. Now, tell me.
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- Whoo!
- Yeah!
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00:02:10,349 --> 00:02:11,350
- That's right, watch it.
- Oh, come on, Joe.
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00:02:11,417 --> 00:02:12,986
- Come on.
- Comin' in hot.
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All right, watch that...
watch that leather back there.
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You're the worst.
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00:02:16,823 --> 00:02:19,358
♪ The things you say ♪
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00:02:19,426 --> 00:02:21,962
♪ You're unbelievable ♪
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Hey, Abdul.
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00:02:23,664 --> 00:02:25,131
Too bad
we don't have tickets.
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Tickets?
Tickets are for losers, dude.
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I got a plan.
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00:02:34,240 --> 00:02:36,208
- Who gets the small?
- Hey!
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- Really?
- Yeah, why not?
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00:02:38,210 --> 00:02:40,714
Hmm. Well, who's ready
to party tonight?
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00:02:40,781 --> 00:02:42,181
What are you doing?
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00:02:42,248 --> 00:02:43,617
- I'm being hype man.
- He hyped you right there.
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00:02:43,684 --> 00:02:45,519
Joey's a great hype man,
and I know hype men.
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00:02:45,586 --> 00:02:47,487
Yeah, throughout history,
there's been many a hype man.
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00:02:47,554 --> 00:02:50,156
- Who?
- Thomas Edison had one.
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00:02:50,222 --> 00:02:51,458
- Gandhi.
- Caesar.
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Okay, all right,
Caesar had a hype man.
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00:02:53,392 --> 00:02:54,561
You guys should look it up.
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00:02:54,628 --> 00:02:56,730
Who was Caesar's
hype man, then?
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00:02:56,797 --> 00:02:57,731
Jeff.
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00:02:57,798 --> 00:02:58,999
I'm done.
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00:02:59,066 --> 00:03:00,033
I'm done with this.
I'm done...
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- Can we go?
- Yeah.
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- 'Scuse!
- On the left.
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- Excuse you. Excuse me.
- Up on the right.
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00:03:14,815 --> 00:03:17,350
- You. Excuse you. Security.
- On the left.
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- Move.
- Move.
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00:03:19,318 --> 00:03:21,187
- Security.
- Just watch it.
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Idiot.
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Hey, uh, who are you guys?
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Uh, high-level security.
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I'll allow it.
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What do we do now?
What do we do now?
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Whatever the hell we want.
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00:04:04,196 --> 00:04:06,466
Move! Watch it.
Coming through.
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00:04:07,768 --> 00:04:09,536
The arena is ours.
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00:04:09,603 --> 00:04:11,505
Wait, who is this?
Where's Larry?
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00:04:14,875 --> 00:04:17,209
- Hit it!
- ♪ Nah, nah-nah-nah-nah ♪
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00:04:17,276 --> 00:04:20,212
♪ Nah-nah-nah-nah,
nah-nah-nah, nah-nah-nah ♪
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Green room, fellas.
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00:04:22,181 --> 00:04:24,551
Everything is free.
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How great is this?
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Oh.
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00:04:32,459 --> 00:04:33,694
Hey, say hello to my dad.
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Hey, Daddy.
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00:04:35,529 --> 00:04:37,363
No, it's my dad.
I don't call him Daddy.
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Oh.
I'm sorry.
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00:04:39,365 --> 00:04:40,867
You're security?
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00:04:40,934 --> 00:04:42,268
Yeah, just... Please.
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00:04:42,334 --> 00:04:44,604
Look at that zoom.
I can see your pores.
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Yuck.
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00:04:50,844 --> 00:04:52,746
- What are you doing?
- Oh, me? Hypin'.
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00:04:52,813 --> 00:04:54,413
- Hypin' what?
- Eh, you know, the crudités.
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00:04:54,481 --> 00:04:55,816
You're over here by yourself
shaking your head.
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00:04:55,882 --> 00:04:58,185
I know, I'm just excited
for crudités, what?
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00:04:58,250 --> 00:04:59,619
I was taping you
from across the room.
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00:04:59,686 --> 00:05:01,021
You look like a doo-wop dad.
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00:05:01,088 --> 00:05:02,254
Hold on one second.
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00:05:02,321 --> 00:05:03,724
Yo, Bubba Gump,
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00:05:03,790 --> 00:05:05,826
Want to leave some shrimp
for the rest of us?
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00:05:05,892 --> 00:05:06,893
Oh, my...
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00:05:06,960 --> 00:05:08,327
- Oh, my God, sick reference!
- Classic.
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00:05:08,394 --> 00:05:09,663
I just saw Forrest Gump
this week.
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00:05:09,730 --> 00:05:11,330
Guys, Paula Abdul, 12:00.
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00:05:14,101 --> 00:05:15,769
Check out the banana patrol.
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Was she just checking me out?
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00:05:20,107 --> 00:05:21,273
- Yeah.
- Oh, yeah. Right at you.
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00:05:21,340 --> 00:05:22,909
- She was.
- Oh, you see that, right?
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00:05:22,976 --> 00:05:24,578
You should probably
get her number.
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00:05:24,644 --> 00:05:25,679
No.
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00:05:25,746 --> 00:05:27,080
Yeah, it'd be a shame
if you didn't.
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00:05:27,147 --> 00:05:28,115
You think she's into me
like that?
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00:05:28,181 --> 00:05:29,348
- Yeah.
- You're right.
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I'm doin' it.
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I'm doin' it.
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00:05:33,620 --> 00:05:36,523
- Down in flames.
- Roll tape.
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00:05:36,590 --> 00:05:39,192
Such a doofus.
Look at him.
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00:05:39,258 --> 00:05:40,527
You want my number?
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00:05:40,594 --> 00:05:42,629
- No.
- Guys, guys.
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00:05:42,696 --> 00:05:44,998
No, guys, it looks like he's
getting her number, I swear.
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00:05:45,065 --> 00:05:48,869
I think he...
I think he got her number.
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00:05:48,935 --> 00:05:50,704
Good call, fellas.
She was into me.
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00:05:50,771 --> 00:05:52,304
But she didn't finish
the phone number in time.
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00:05:52,371 --> 00:05:54,574
She started to give you
her real number?
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00:05:54,641 --> 00:05:55,842
This is a victory for us.
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00:05:55,909 --> 00:05:57,944
- Great shit.
- I gotta be honest.
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00:05:58,011 --> 00:05:59,246
I was breaking your shoes.
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00:05:59,311 --> 00:06:00,514
I didn't think
you'd get her number.
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00:06:00,580 --> 00:06:02,281
You just rose
to that challenge, okay?
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00:06:02,348 --> 00:06:03,517
We told you to do something,
you did it.
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00:06:03,583 --> 00:06:05,185
Okay, you didn't refuse.
You didn't lose.
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00:06:05,252 --> 00:06:07,587
The ball bag on this guy.
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00:06:07,654 --> 00:06:08,955
You ever seen a ball bag
like this?
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00:06:09,022 --> 00:06:10,490
I've never seen a ball bag
like that, no.
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00:06:10,557 --> 00:06:11,925
I've seen his ball bag.
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00:06:11,992 --> 00:06:14,360
It's 10 pounds of ball bag
in a 5-pound sack.
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00:06:14,427 --> 00:06:17,363
This whole time, there's been
two footprints in the sand.
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00:06:17,430 --> 00:06:19,533
It's when your ball bag's
been carrying us.
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00:06:19,599 --> 00:06:22,969
You don't just talk the talk,
you walk the walk. Okay?
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00:06:23,036 --> 00:06:25,005
Who knows
where great ideas come from?
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00:06:25,071 --> 00:06:27,306
A mixture of genius
and stupidity?
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00:06:27,373 --> 00:06:29,609
A ball bag speech from Sal?
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00:06:29,676 --> 00:06:31,244
I know it rarely happens,
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00:06:31,310 --> 00:06:34,481
but that night,
scholars and historians agree
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00:06:34,548 --> 00:06:36,716
the Impractical Jokers
were born.
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00:06:36,783 --> 00:06:38,752
This is unbelievable, guys.
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00:06:38,819 --> 00:06:40,821
Holy sh...
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00:06:40,887 --> 00:06:42,321
The crowd.
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00:06:45,525 --> 00:06:46,459
♪ Hey, baby ♪
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00:06:46,526 --> 00:06:48,094
Oh, my God!
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00:06:48,161 --> 00:06:50,362
♪ Gotta remember ♪
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♪ I'm forever your girl ♪
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00:06:53,399 --> 00:06:55,502
♪ And baby, forever ♪
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♪ And ever and ever ♪
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00:06:57,403 --> 00:06:58,638
You know I am.
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00:07:02,576 --> 00:07:05,078
Backstage, baby!
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00:07:15,889 --> 00:07:17,457
♪ Baby, pick your head up ♪
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00:07:17,524 --> 00:07:19,559
That was the hottest thing
I've ever seen!
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00:07:19,626 --> 00:07:22,896
♪ Come on and look me
in the face ♪
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00:07:25,866 --> 00:07:27,133
Where's Joe?
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00:07:27,200 --> 00:07:28,602
♪ Is bringin' you down ♪
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00:07:28,668 --> 00:07:30,770
♪ Why you down? ♪
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00:07:30,837 --> 00:07:33,173
- Oh, my God!
- Yeah! Yeah!
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00:07:33,240 --> 00:07:35,508
♪ That another boy ♪
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00:07:35,575 --> 00:07:37,210
Get off my stage.
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00:07:37,277 --> 00:07:38,678
- Hey, hey, hey!
- Go, Joey, go!
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00:07:38,745 --> 00:07:40,247
Yeah! We're gonna live forever!
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00:07:40,313 --> 00:07:41,548
I know!
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00:07:41,615 --> 00:07:43,683
Pregnant ladies,
I can't hear y'all.
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00:07:43,750 --> 00:07:45,919
Pregnant ladies, make noise.
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00:07:48,488 --> 00:07:51,157
Helicopter.
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00:07:51,224 --> 00:07:53,126
When I say ball, you say bag.
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00:07:53,193 --> 00:07:54,561
Ball!
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00:07:54,628 --> 00:07:56,029
He's hyped up
on the ball bag.
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00:07:57,697 --> 00:07:59,432
Get him off the stage.
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00:07:59,499 --> 00:08:00,567
Hype it up.
187
00:08:00,634 --> 00:08:02,969
We judged too soon.
He sucks.
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00:08:05,605 --> 00:08:07,841
White people!
189
00:08:07,908 --> 00:08:09,042
Blacks!
190
00:08:10,610 --> 00:08:13,013
Where the Vietnamese at?
191
00:08:13,079 --> 00:08:15,315
- Yeah, there's one!
- Where's my security?
192
00:08:17,717 --> 00:08:19,753
This is mayhem.
193
00:08:19,819 --> 00:08:21,121
Ah! Son of a...
194
00:08:21,187 --> 00:08:23,023
- All right!
- They throwin' garbage?
195
00:08:23,089 --> 00:08:24,824
Staten Island garbage.
196
00:08:24,891 --> 00:08:26,860
- Guys! Guys!
- Look out, Joe!
197
00:08:26,927 --> 00:08:28,428
Breach! Breach!
Breach!
198
00:08:28,495 --> 00:08:29,930
Ah, these punks
are storming the stage.
199
00:08:29,996 --> 00:08:31,164
I'm getting the hell
out of here.
200
00:08:31,231 --> 00:08:32,432
No, no, no, no!
201
00:08:36,169 --> 00:08:37,871
Oh!
202
00:08:39,773 --> 00:08:41,308
I got clotheslined by Abdul.
203
00:08:41,374 --> 00:08:42,842
Oh, Sal!
204
00:08:44,611 --> 00:08:46,179
My beautiful boy.
205
00:08:46,246 --> 00:08:48,214
She crushed my windpipe!
206
00:08:48,281 --> 00:08:49,449
You're okay.
Go, go!
207
00:08:49,516 --> 00:08:51,217
- Joey!
- Go.
208
00:08:51,284 --> 00:08:52,752
You guys are dead.
209
00:08:52,819 --> 00:08:54,120
Dead.
210
00:08:54,187 --> 00:08:57,490
One day, I'm gonna find you,
and I will destroy you!
211
00:09:02,162 --> 00:09:04,164
Can't believe we ruined
the Abdul concert.
212
00:09:05,665 --> 00:09:08,234
- Hi, Gina.
- Go, go, go.
213
00:09:08,301 --> 00:09:11,972
We've lost the arena!
We've lost the arena!
214
00:09:12,038 --> 00:09:15,408
Everything's fine.
Everything's fine.
215
00:09:20,113 --> 00:09:24,351
Abdul assaulted me!
She's about 4'4", 40 pounds.
216
00:09:26,619 --> 00:09:29,089
Ah! Why are you doing
this to me?
217
00:09:29,155 --> 00:09:31,825
Come on!
Abdul's got some mouth on her.
218
00:09:40,300 --> 00:09:42,135
♪ So I'll tell you all
the story ♪
219
00:09:42,202 --> 00:09:44,571
♪ About the joker
and the thief in the night ♪
220
00:09:53,046 --> 00:09:55,148
- Are we rolling?
- Okay, here we go.
221
00:09:55,215 --> 00:09:56,983
Once we clear this
camera, Sal, we're ready to go.
222
00:09:57,050 --> 00:09:58,385
It's only... Our close-up
keeps getting blocked.
223
00:09:58,452 --> 00:10:00,987
Cameras. Cameras.
224
00:10:01,054 --> 00:10:02,689
We have to make sure
camera D stays that way.
225
00:10:02,756 --> 00:10:04,124
Hold on, I got two...
I got three... In the ear,
226
00:10:04,190 --> 00:10:05,692
I had multiple people
at one time.
227
00:10:05,759 --> 00:10:07,794
Now he's clear.
228
00:10:07,861 --> 00:10:09,963
- So, Sal's just gonna be a horrible mall Santa.
- That's right.
229
00:10:10,030 --> 00:10:12,966
There's nothing more American
than a mall Santa.
230
00:10:13,033 --> 00:10:14,601
- That's right.
- Right? It's just classic.
231
00:10:14,667 --> 00:10:16,236
- Yeah.
- Well, in the winter.
232
00:10:16,302 --> 00:10:18,805
I will say this, Sal,
you have accepted the fact
233
00:10:18,872 --> 00:10:20,573
that we dressed you
as a mall Santa
234
00:10:20,640 --> 00:10:22,443
in the middle of summer
without complaint.
235
00:10:22,510 --> 00:10:24,811
It's about 100 degrees out.
236
00:10:24,878 --> 00:10:26,579
Oh, I'm gonna...
I'm gonna pass out.
237
00:10:26,646 --> 00:10:28,314
Well, you're about to
ruin Christmas
238
00:10:28,381 --> 00:10:30,083
for a bunch of kids, Sal.
239
00:10:30,150 --> 00:10:31,918
Okay, Sal, when this kid
approaches, this is easy,
240
00:10:31,985 --> 00:10:34,254
just yell, "No! No!"
241
00:10:34,320 --> 00:10:35,755
No! No!
242
00:10:35,822 --> 00:10:38,426
No.
243
00:10:38,492 --> 00:10:39,759
So what do you want, Aiden?
244
00:10:39,826 --> 00:10:41,294
Do you want a big toy
or a little toy?
245
00:10:41,361 --> 00:10:43,563
What would you like?
I'll get it for you right now.
246
00:10:43,630 --> 00:10:46,566
Lightning McQueen.
247
00:10:46,633 --> 00:10:47,734
- Sal, fall asleep.
- Fall asleep, Sal.
248
00:10:47,801 --> 00:10:49,169
Fall asleep, fall asleep.
249
00:10:52,705 --> 00:10:54,240
Santa?
250
00:10:54,307 --> 00:10:56,409
Sal's sleeping. Look at him.
251
00:10:56,477 --> 00:10:57,811
Look at the kid.
252
00:10:57,877 --> 00:11:00,313
- Sal fell asleep.
- The shot's insane, Sal.
253
00:11:01,648 --> 00:11:05,919
Sal, stay there.
254
00:11:05,985 --> 00:11:07,787
Head's... Head nod down
there more.
255
00:11:07,854 --> 00:11:09,022
There you go.
256
00:11:09,089 --> 00:11:11,858
Big snores. Big...
257
00:11:11,925 --> 00:11:13,893
Ooh!
258
00:11:13,960 --> 00:11:15,962
- Start bouncing him.
- Oh.
259
00:11:16,029 --> 00:11:17,797
- "When'd you get here?"
- Higher, buddy, higher.
260
00:11:17,864 --> 00:11:19,467
Yeah!
261
00:11:22,135 --> 00:11:24,604
Oh, taking his leg off!
He's taking his leg off!
262
00:11:24,671 --> 00:11:26,372
He's so happy.
263
00:11:33,980 --> 00:11:35,982
Look at the...
264
00:11:37,050 --> 00:11:38,284
High five!
265
00:11:38,351 --> 00:11:39,752
Aww.
266
00:11:40,854 --> 00:11:43,189
This fake snow
can't be helping.
267
00:11:44,525 --> 00:11:46,726
Hello, darling. How are you?
268
00:11:46,793 --> 00:11:49,863
Come sit on Santa's lap.
269
00:11:49,929 --> 00:11:51,965
- And what is your name?
- Casey.
270
00:11:52,031 --> 00:11:54,334
Casey, I want you
to take a minute
271
00:11:54,400 --> 00:11:57,538
and think about what you might
want for Christmas this year.
272
00:11:57,605 --> 00:11:58,905
Just think about it
in your head.
273
00:11:58,972 --> 00:12:00,740
- Okay?
- Uh...
274
00:12:01,941 --> 00:12:03,243
"Don't talk to me
till I tell you."
275
00:12:03,309 --> 00:12:05,712
Now, don't talk
until I tell you, Casey.
276
00:12:05,778 --> 00:12:07,213
- Mmm-hmm.
- Okay.
277
00:12:09,249 --> 00:12:14,287
"Now, why aren't you saying anything
to Santa?"
278
00:12:14,354 --> 00:12:16,423
I don't have all day, Casey.
Do you know what you want?
279
00:12:16,490 --> 00:12:17,690
- Yes.
- Okay.
280
00:12:17,757 --> 00:12:19,460
Don't speak
until I tell you, now.
281
00:12:19,527 --> 00:12:20,994
She's so cute.
282
00:12:21,060 --> 00:12:22,328
Whenever you're ready,
just tell me what you want.
283
00:12:22,395 --> 00:12:23,497
Keep flip-flopping.
284
00:12:23,564 --> 00:12:24,397
But don't talk
until I tell you.
285
00:12:26,065 --> 00:12:27,700
Okay? So whenever you're ready,
you tell me what you want.
286
00:12:27,767 --> 00:12:30,703
But please don't speak
until I tell you.
287
00:12:30,770 --> 00:12:32,005
- Whenever you're ready.
- Okay.
288
00:12:32,071 --> 00:12:33,873
Just don't speak until I say.
289
00:12:36,510 --> 00:12:37,777
Nice to meet you...
290
00:12:37,844 --> 00:12:39,078
So, Sal, how was that?
You're doing...
291
00:12:39,145 --> 00:12:40,481
You're being a very good
horrible Santa.
292
00:12:40,548 --> 00:12:43,116
Guys, this...
It's torture for us all.
293
00:12:43,183 --> 00:12:45,018
It's a torture for me,
it's a torture for you,
294
00:12:45,084 --> 00:12:46,686
it's a torture
for the children.
295
00:12:46,753 --> 00:12:48,422
- I'm having a blast back here.
- Yeah.
296
00:12:48,489 --> 00:12:50,323
I'm giggling with my friends.
It feels pretty good back here.
297
00:12:50,390 --> 00:12:52,825
There's no less than 40
strands of hair in my mouth.
298
00:12:52,892 --> 00:12:54,360
Oh, it's getting
worse, Sal.
299
00:12:54,428 --> 00:12:58,298
Oh!
300
00:13:06,574 --> 00:13:09,876
Jingle, jingle.
301
00:13:11,512 --> 00:13:12,812
- Oh.
- I've had enough.
302
00:13:12,879 --> 00:13:13,746
I'm pulling the plug
on this whole thing.
303
00:13:13,813 --> 00:13:15,014
Let's get out of here.
304
00:13:15,081 --> 00:13:17,451
- That's a cut.
- Nice work.
305
00:13:36,035 --> 00:13:37,538
Where's the
Cheddar Bay Biscuits?
306
00:13:37,605 --> 00:13:39,072
I ordered a whole another
basket, like, ten minutes ago.
307
00:13:39,138 --> 00:13:40,641
- You already had six.
- So what?
308
00:13:40,708 --> 00:13:42,408
- You're cut off.
- You can't be cut off.
309
00:13:42,476 --> 00:13:44,277
It's unlimited, it's the
whole point of Red Lobster.
310
00:13:44,344 --> 00:13:45,745
Guys. Guys.
311
00:13:46,879 --> 00:13:49,550
- Is that Abdul?
- Kareem?
312
00:13:49,617 --> 00:13:51,217
No. Can't be.
313
00:13:51,284 --> 00:13:53,353
- That's Abdul. That's her.
- That's her.
314
00:13:53,419 --> 00:13:55,255
- Oh, my God.
- It is Abdul.
315
00:13:55,321 --> 00:13:57,591
I know Abdul when I see it.
It's her! I'm scared right now.
316
00:13:57,658 --> 00:13:59,926
My windpipe is still sore
from when she hit me.
317
00:13:59,993 --> 00:14:01,160
Yeah, she straight jacked you.
318
00:14:01,227 --> 00:14:02,730
She's gonna remember
that night.
319
00:14:02,795 --> 00:14:03,997
Oh, she's coming over here,
so it's curtains for us,
320
00:14:04,063 --> 00:14:05,298
essentially, it's what it is.
321
00:14:05,365 --> 00:14:07,166
- I gotta get out of here.
- No, no! Sit...
322
00:14:07,233 --> 00:14:07,967
Sit down.
323
00:14:08,034 --> 00:14:09,369
This is our Red Lobster.
324
00:14:09,436 --> 00:14:10,903
I've been training for this
for 20 years.
325
00:14:10,970 --> 00:14:13,172
Nobody touches you again.
Not on my watch.
326
00:14:13,239 --> 00:14:14,675
- Okay, thank you.
- No, yeah.
327
00:14:14,742 --> 00:14:16,209
- Just sit down.
- She's coming right over here.
328
00:14:16,276 --> 00:14:17,810
- Act casual.
- She's looking right at us.
329
00:14:17,877 --> 00:14:18,911
- Act casual.
- She's looking...
330
00:14:18,978 --> 00:14:20,780
Smile. Act natural.
331
00:14:20,847 --> 00:14:22,248
Smile. Smile.
332
00:14:23,850 --> 00:14:25,118
All right.
333
00:14:28,422 --> 00:14:29,822
Fifteen feet.
334
00:14:29,889 --> 00:14:31,391
Ten feet.
335
00:14:31,458 --> 00:14:32,559
Five feet.
336
00:14:32,626 --> 00:14:33,627
Abdul.
337
00:14:33,694 --> 00:14:34,994
You're the Impractical Jokers.
338
00:14:35,061 --> 00:14:36,963
- Yeah.
- For real?
339
00:14:37,030 --> 00:14:38,998
- Yeah.
- Holy shit.
340
00:14:39,065 --> 00:14:41,934
- Okay.
- I love you guys.
341
00:14:42,001 --> 00:14:44,804
Oh, no joke, man.
I've watched every season.
342
00:14:44,871 --> 00:14:47,006
Well, except for season five.
343
00:14:47,073 --> 00:14:48,107
Yeah, I don't want
to get into it.
344
00:14:48,174 --> 00:14:49,643
All right, well, thank you.
345
00:14:49,710 --> 00:14:51,978
By any chance, you guys
gonna be in Miami next week?
346
00:14:52,045 --> 00:14:53,946
- Yeah.
- I'm having this huge party.
347
00:14:54,013 --> 00:14:55,882
You guys can come.
You can hang one night.
348
00:14:55,948 --> 00:14:57,618
You can hang the weekend.
Go hang out.
349
00:14:57,685 --> 00:14:58,918
- Oh, my God.
- What?
350
00:14:58,985 --> 00:15:00,286
You kidding me?
351
00:15:00,353 --> 00:15:01,755
Yeah, we'll be there.
We were gonna go...
352
00:15:01,821 --> 00:15:03,189
- We were going anyway.
- Yeah! Yeah!
353
00:15:03,256 --> 00:15:04,891
Yes!
354
00:15:04,957 --> 00:15:07,327
Sam? Hook 'em up.
355
00:15:11,030 --> 00:15:14,067
- Season five was atrocious.
- Mmm.
356
00:15:14,133 --> 00:15:15,902
So I'll see you in Miami?
357
00:15:15,968 --> 00:15:16,903
Yes!
Yeah, I'll see you there.
358
00:15:16,969 --> 00:15:18,505
This is crazy.
359
00:15:18,572 --> 00:15:20,106
Yeah, that's right.
We are so in Miami.
360
00:15:20,173 --> 00:15:21,542
- We'll see you there.
- All right.
361
00:15:21,608 --> 00:15:23,876
- Miami, here we come.
- All right.
362
00:15:23,943 --> 00:15:25,244
We're not really going
to Miami, are we?
363
00:15:25,311 --> 00:15:26,412
- Of course we're going to Miami.
- No.
364
00:15:26,480 --> 00:15:28,047
That night
was a disaster. Okay?
365
00:15:28,114 --> 00:15:30,183
We have a chance here
for a do-over.
366
00:15:30,249 --> 00:15:33,086
I don't need a do-over.
I'm the victim, okay?
367
00:15:33,152 --> 00:15:34,521
She punched me in the throat.
368
00:15:34,588 --> 00:15:36,389
Guys, this isn't even
a discussion, okay?
369
00:15:36,457 --> 00:15:39,058
Abdul is here in the Lobster,
she invites us to the party,
370
00:15:39,125 --> 00:15:40,627
we go to the party.
371
00:15:40,694 --> 00:15:42,895
We turn back the clock.
We put that disaster to bed.
372
00:15:42,962 --> 00:15:44,431
Oh, yeah.
We're going, and this time,
373
00:15:44,498 --> 00:15:46,533
we're gonna prove that
we're not gonna screw it up.
374
00:15:46,600 --> 00:15:48,535
That's right.
With a little bit of hype.
375
00:15:48,602 --> 00:15:50,103
- Mmm.
- No hype.
376
00:15:50,169 --> 00:15:51,772
- A little bit.
- Mmm. No.
377
00:15:51,839 --> 00:15:53,039
All right,
the appropriate amount.
378
00:15:53,106 --> 00:15:54,508
Hmm, no. Less.
379
00:15:54,575 --> 00:15:56,610
Do this. That.
380
00:15:56,677 --> 00:15:58,878
Oh, I'm bringing this much,
and if we use it, we use it.
381
00:15:58,945 --> 00:16:00,980
Oh, my God, there's only three.
382
00:16:01,047 --> 00:16:02,248
There's only three laminates.
383
00:16:02,315 --> 00:16:04,016
Perfect. I'm out. God's plan.
384
00:16:04,083 --> 00:16:05,486
No, no, no.
What are you talking about?
385
00:16:05,552 --> 00:16:07,920
We'll settle this the way
we do every big decision
386
00:16:07,987 --> 00:16:09,556
in our life, okay?
387
00:16:09,623 --> 00:16:11,190
The four of us will compete
in hidden camera challenges
388
00:16:11,257 --> 00:16:12,593
on the way down to Miami,
389
00:16:12,659 --> 00:16:15,061
and the loser does not
go to that party.
390
00:16:18,164 --> 00:16:19,700
- Road trip, guys!
- Let's do it.
391
00:16:19,767 --> 00:16:20,900
Let's just get in the car
and do it.
392
00:16:20,967 --> 00:16:22,135
- Road trip, baby.
- Yeah!
393
00:16:22,201 --> 00:16:23,804
Guys, I have the perfect car.
394
00:16:23,871 --> 00:16:25,606
- You guys are gonna love this.
- Oh, thank God, yes.
395
00:16:25,672 --> 00:16:28,274
Every part of my body
is rejecting this plan.
396
00:16:28,341 --> 00:16:29,409
Who pays the bill, by the way?
397
00:16:29,476 --> 00:16:31,779
I pay the bill? I pay the bill?
398
00:16:43,322 --> 00:16:44,190
Huh?
399
00:16:45,158 --> 00:16:46,660
- Shotgun.
- What? No!
400
00:16:46,727 --> 00:16:48,261
Yeah, I saw it, and I said it.
401
00:16:48,327 --> 00:16:49,596
- That's not even right.
- Yeah, that's the rule.
402
00:16:49,663 --> 00:16:50,997
I get carsick.
I can't sit back there.
403
00:16:51,063 --> 00:16:52,265
Your carsick is not my problem.
404
00:16:52,331 --> 00:16:53,534
- No.
- Will you guys...
405
00:16:53,600 --> 00:16:54,635
Please, please,
can you veto this?
406
00:16:54,701 --> 00:16:55,736
I will vomit everywhere.
407
00:16:55,803 --> 00:16:56,969
Veto it? Why would I veto that?
408
00:16:57,036 --> 00:16:58,404
It's the rules of shotgun.
409
00:16:58,472 --> 00:17:00,106
You see the car, you say,
"Shotgun," you sit there.
410
00:17:00,173 --> 00:17:01,941
Joe gets shotgun
'cause he respects the leather.
411
00:17:02,008 --> 00:17:03,109
- Thank you, sir.
- Hey, what...
412
00:17:03,176 --> 00:17:04,678
Whatever gave you
the impression
413
00:17:04,745 --> 00:17:06,379
- I didn't respect it?
- You scuffed the leather, man.
414
00:17:06,447 --> 00:17:09,215
That's like punching
Grandma Lucia in her face.
415
00:17:09,282 --> 00:17:10,684
She killed herself
in the back left seat, right?
416
00:17:10,751 --> 00:17:13,085
Why don't we all get off
our high horses here?
417
00:17:13,152 --> 00:17:14,353
All right, it's not
that great of a car.
418
00:17:14,420 --> 00:17:16,088
- It's not a Corvette.
- No, I know.
419
00:17:16,155 --> 00:17:17,691
It's a Crown Vic.
I know what this car is.
420
00:17:17,758 --> 00:17:19,526
I mean, it's the vehicular
equivalent of Baltic Avenue.
421
00:17:19,593 --> 00:17:20,627
Baltic Avenue?
422
00:17:20,694 --> 00:17:22,228
What are you,
going Monopoly on me?
423
00:17:22,295 --> 00:17:24,263
You're the thimble.
Yeah, and do not pass go.
424
00:17:24,330 --> 00:17:26,332
You go directly
to the back seat, buddy.
425
00:17:26,399 --> 00:17:28,401
I feel like
I'm being sandbagged.
426
00:17:28,469 --> 00:17:30,269
Question, should I take
a quick shit here or should I...
427
00:17:30,336 --> 00:17:32,205
- Would you guys just get in the car already?
- Okay.
428
00:17:33,406 --> 00:17:35,374
♪ Hey, baby ♪
429
00:17:35,442 --> 00:17:37,678
♪ You gotta remember ♪
430
00:17:38,978 --> 00:17:40,980
- The trip it is.
- Whoo-hoo!
431
00:17:41,047 --> 00:17:42,583
- Yeah!
- Oh, you know what?
432
00:17:44,651 --> 00:17:46,620
- Ho!
- Oh!
433
00:17:46,687 --> 00:17:48,287
Stacy!
434
00:17:48,354 --> 00:17:50,189
Yo, baby, all right.
435
00:17:50,256 --> 00:17:51,859
- Now we're ready.
- Now we're ready.
436
00:17:51,925 --> 00:17:53,760
- Let's do this.
- Let's go!
437
00:17:53,827 --> 00:17:58,264
♪ Come on
And look me in the face ♪
438
00:17:58,331 --> 00:18:01,468
♪ 'Cause I can tell
That something ♪
439
00:18:01,535 --> 00:18:04,136
♪ Is bringing you down ♪
440
00:18:04,203 --> 00:18:05,739
♪ Bringing you down ♪
441
00:18:05,806 --> 00:18:10,477
♪ Is it the rumor
That another girl ♪
442
00:18:10,544 --> 00:18:13,312
♪ Wants to take your place ♪
443
00:18:13,379 --> 00:18:15,281
♪ I think
She's after your heart ♪
444
00:18:15,348 --> 00:18:17,885
♪ Well, I've been hearing
The stories ♪
445
00:18:17,951 --> 00:18:20,286
♪ They're going around ♪
446
00:18:20,353 --> 00:18:22,288
♪ All of my friends are taken ♪
447
00:18:22,355 --> 00:18:24,123
♪ Hey, baby ♪
448
00:18:26,593 --> 00:18:27,628
Oh, son!
449
00:18:27,694 --> 00:18:29,195
- If they have a...
- I think I have one.
450
00:18:29,262 --> 00:18:30,664
- What's up, bro?
- Welcome.
451
00:18:30,731 --> 00:18:33,032
- Grizzly Adams.
- Oh, we should play Megaballs.
452
00:18:33,099 --> 00:18:34,935
- Who?
- Oh, you got that Megaballs?
453
00:18:35,002 --> 00:18:36,470
What?
454
00:18:36,537 --> 00:18:38,805
Talk to me about your
collection of jazz, smooth.
455
00:18:38,872 --> 00:18:40,641
I don't know, man,
there's, like, two aisles.
456
00:18:40,707 --> 00:18:43,109
- Which one?
- Dude, I just work here.
457
00:18:43,175 --> 00:18:44,545
That's why I'm asking you.
458
00:18:45,846 --> 00:18:47,481
- Oh.
- Ooh.
459
00:18:50,182 --> 00:18:51,685
- Let me ask you guys something.
- Hmm?
460
00:18:51,752 --> 00:18:53,520
You guys ever wonder
what Murray gets up to
461
00:18:53,587 --> 00:18:55,589
- when we're not with him?
- I would love to know.
462
00:18:55,656 --> 00:18:57,123
We've been friends with him
my whole life.
463
00:18:57,189 --> 00:18:58,792
I go to sleep
wondering what he does.
464
00:18:58,859 --> 00:19:00,727
- Hmm.
- I got ideas.
465
00:19:00,794 --> 00:19:01,862
- Yeah?
- Tell me.
466
00:19:01,929 --> 00:19:03,195
- He traveled a lot.
- Yeah.
467
00:19:03,262 --> 00:19:05,097
That time he went
on that tour with Yanni
468
00:19:05,164 --> 00:19:06,733
in South America.
469
00:19:06,800 --> 00:19:08,334
The Rainbows to Rainforest
Tour, I remember that.
470
00:19:08,401 --> 00:19:09,937
Yeah, but he kept
using air quotes with that.
471
00:19:10,003 --> 00:19:11,304
- He did that with you?
- Yeah,
472
00:19:11,370 --> 00:19:13,674
like, "If you need me,
I'll be with Yanni
473
00:19:13,740 --> 00:19:15,008
in South America."
474
00:19:15,107 --> 00:19:16,409
Now, what does that mean?
475
00:19:16,476 --> 00:19:18,612
Every part of that sentence
is a fallacy?
476
00:19:20,013 --> 00:19:21,180
"I-I'll be unavailable."
477
00:19:21,247 --> 00:19:22,482
- Whoa.
- What is that?
478
00:19:22,549 --> 00:19:24,051
It's air quotes.
We're all doing it.
479
00:19:24,116 --> 00:19:25,519
- No, no, no. What's that?
- Unavailable. It's air quotes.
480
00:19:25,586 --> 00:19:27,020
You're not calling
four people over,
481
00:19:27,086 --> 00:19:28,087
you gotta flip that
and reverse it.
482
00:19:28,154 --> 00:19:29,322
Oh, all right, Missy Elliott.
483
00:19:29,388 --> 00:19:30,624
- I wasn't sure. Got it.
- Fellas?
484
00:19:30,691 --> 00:19:32,091
- Yo?
- Got it.
485
00:19:34,126 --> 00:19:36,530
Right? For the road.
For the road?
486
00:19:36,597 --> 00:19:37,598
Right?
487
00:19:39,332 --> 00:19:40,333
I don't need him.
488
00:19:54,213 --> 00:19:55,749
DC, baby.
489
00:19:58,417 --> 00:19:59,886
So today,
we're stopping people
490
00:19:59,953 --> 00:20:01,354
and telling them
we gotta speak at a memorial.
491
00:20:01,420 --> 00:20:03,222
The only thing is that
we've written...
492
00:20:03,289 --> 00:20:04,758
- Each other's.
- Each other's eulogies.
493
00:20:04,825 --> 00:20:06,258
So, at the end,
we'll have to ask them,
494
00:20:06,325 --> 00:20:07,761
"Do you think it's fit to say?"
495
00:20:07,828 --> 00:20:10,764
And if they say no, we lose.
If they say yes, we win.
496
00:20:10,831 --> 00:20:12,633
It's a sad day.
497
00:20:14,101 --> 00:20:17,471
This just shows you
how fleeting life is, guys.
498
00:20:17,537 --> 00:20:18,672
How about this old guy?
499
00:20:19,606 --> 00:20:21,207
You got the right idea.
500
00:20:21,273 --> 00:20:23,110
- Ooh, too many steps.
- Can't handle it.
501
00:20:23,175 --> 00:20:24,645
You just, you guys
are in town just visiting
502
00:20:24,711 --> 00:20:26,345
- for the tours, the sights?
- Yeah.
503
00:20:26,412 --> 00:20:27,781
Look at the urn.
504
00:20:27,848 --> 00:20:29,483
I'm in town, unfortunately,
for sad reasons.
505
00:20:29,549 --> 00:20:31,283
- Got a, um...
- Bucket of ashes right here.
506
00:20:31,350 --> 00:20:32,819
- I'm giving the eulogy.
- Oh.
507
00:20:32,886 --> 00:20:34,320
Yeah, at a funeral.
508
00:20:34,387 --> 00:20:36,288
He got a great mark.
This guy's so into the idea.
509
00:20:36,355 --> 00:20:38,692
We're doing the thing by the water
and spreading the ashes, you know.
510
00:20:38,759 --> 00:20:40,093
Oh, yeah.
511
00:20:40,159 --> 00:20:41,928
., 00:20:43,597
Is that why people come
to the reflection pool, though?
513
00:20:43,664 --> 00:20:45,297
I'm pretty sure you're not
allowed to even do that.
514
00:20:45,364 --> 00:20:46,533
Can I run the eulogy by you?
It takes one second.
515
00:20:46,600 --> 00:20:47,734
It's only
a couple sentences long.
516
00:20:47,801 --> 00:20:49,903
You're very brave
for doing that.
517
00:20:49,970 --> 00:20:51,270
Here's the eulogy I wrote.
518
00:20:51,337 --> 00:20:53,073
"Grandma."
519
00:20:53,140 --> 00:20:54,373
"Grandma was...
520
00:20:54,441 --> 00:20:56,275
Grandma was
a straight up bitch."
521
00:20:58,244 --> 00:21:00,447
"You know it, Grandpa.
We all know it.
522
00:21:00,514 --> 00:21:01,715
And now she's dead
523
00:21:01,782 --> 00:21:03,617
and we've got
her goddamn money.
524
00:21:03,684 --> 00:21:05,384
Let's go to China Buffet
to celebrate
525
00:21:05,452 --> 00:21:07,020
this bitch's
one-way ticket to hell."
526
00:21:07,087 --> 00:21:08,320
Wow.
527
00:21:08,387 --> 00:21:09,523
What do you think?
Is it ready to go?
528
00:21:11,124 --> 00:21:13,527
I don't know what other
people would think about that.
529
00:21:13,593 --> 00:21:15,095
We all felt this way
about Grandma.
530
00:21:15,162 --> 00:21:16,129
- Oh.
- We all did.
531
00:21:16,195 --> 00:21:17,831
Including Grandpa.
532
00:21:17,898 --> 00:21:19,132
So you think I should just read
this or should I change it?
533
00:21:19,198 --> 00:21:20,567
I don't... I wouldn't.
534
00:21:20,634 --> 00:21:21,835
- You wouldn't read it?
- No.
535
00:21:21,902 --> 00:21:24,137
Oh!
536
00:21:24,203 --> 00:21:25,138
I'm not good
with public speaking.
537
00:21:25,204 --> 00:21:26,305
Forget the urn. Walk away.
538
00:21:26,372 --> 00:21:27,674
All right.
Well, take care, sir.
539
00:21:27,741 --> 00:21:29,408
- Have a great vacation. Enjoy.
- Yeah.
540
00:21:29,476 --> 00:21:31,078
- Take care, now.
- You bet.
541
00:21:31,144 --> 00:21:32,145
What do you want with this?
542
00:21:35,048 --> 00:21:36,382
Sir?
543
00:21:47,094 --> 00:21:48,729
Guys, can I ask you a question?
544
00:21:48,795 --> 00:21:49,830
Here we go.
545
00:21:49,896 --> 00:21:51,465
It's just a few words.
I'm very nervous.
546
00:21:51,531 --> 00:21:53,133
Can I read it to you
just to say it out loud
547
00:21:53,200 --> 00:21:54,668
- and tell me if you like it?
- Sure.
548
00:21:54,735 --> 00:21:56,302
I'm so nervous.
The family's meeting me. Yeah.
549
00:21:56,368 --> 00:21:59,106
Okay, uh,
"Thank you all for coming
550
00:21:59,172 --> 00:22:02,442
to the spreading of the ashes
of Joey Dumps."
551
00:22:02,509 --> 00:22:03,777
- Joey Dumps.
- Joey Dumps.
552
00:22:03,844 --> 00:22:05,545
"What could be said
about Joey Dumps?
553
00:22:05,612 --> 00:22:07,080
He took his lumps."
554
00:22:08,749 --> 00:22:10,117
"Joey Dumps was there for me.
555
00:22:10,183 --> 00:22:11,718
He let me see those dumps.
556
00:22:11,785 --> 00:22:13,620
Dumps-da-dumps-dumps-dumps."
557
00:22:13,687 --> 00:22:14,855
"When you were down
in the dumps,
558
00:22:14,921 --> 00:22:16,590
who was there for you...
Joey Dumps.
559
00:22:16,656 --> 00:22:18,058
Dumps like a truck,
truck, truck."
560
00:22:19,493 --> 00:22:21,495
"Guys like a what, what, what.
561
00:22:21,561 --> 00:22:25,232
So to honor his last wish,
we now dump Dumps' ashes,
562
00:22:25,297 --> 00:22:27,100
and then go listen
to the final episode
563
00:22:27,167 --> 00:22:28,935
of his baseball-themed
podcast,
564
00:22:29,002 --> 00:22:32,005
'Joey Dumps Humps Chump Umps
in the Rumps.'"
565
00:22:33,974 --> 00:22:36,510
- It's so Joey Dumps.
- It's very Joey Dumps.
566
00:22:36,576 --> 00:22:38,277
- Do you think it...
- It's very funny.
567
00:22:38,344 --> 00:22:40,447
- Should I change anything?
- No.
568
00:22:40,514 --> 00:22:42,015
- No? Ah.
- Oh!
569
00:22:42,082 --> 00:22:44,416
- It's a great memorial.
- Thank you very much.
570
00:22:44,484 --> 00:22:46,253
- I appreciate you guys.
- Thank you. Good luck.
571
00:22:46,318 --> 00:22:48,121
- Thank you.
- He was a big Sisqó fan.
572
00:22:48,188 --> 00:22:49,556
Wow. Ready to go.
573
00:22:49,623 --> 00:22:52,159
- Good job with that, Sal.
- Sal with a W.
574
00:22:52,225 --> 00:22:53,392
My eulogy game, I crush.
575
00:22:53,460 --> 00:22:54,594
I give a good eulogy.
576
00:22:57,964 --> 00:22:59,132
You guys ready?
577
00:22:59,199 --> 00:23:00,734
Yeah, the cameras
aren't on, but...
578
00:23:00,801 --> 00:23:01,868
How we doing?
Cameras aren't ready yet?
579
00:23:01,935 --> 00:23:03,503
Guys, the secret is to...
580
00:23:04,871 --> 00:23:08,108
pique interest,
pique the curiosity of people.
581
00:23:08,175 --> 00:23:10,177
Could you just hold this up,
and I'm just gonna...
582
00:23:10,243 --> 00:23:11,912
Yeah, just hold that up,
yeah, like that, it's perfect.
583
00:23:13,580 --> 00:23:15,448
They're holding ashes.
584
00:23:15,515 --> 00:23:16,750
There we go. That's great.
585
00:23:16,817 --> 00:23:18,350
- Yeah, I'm here for a memorial.
- Oh.
586
00:23:18,417 --> 00:23:21,588
So I'm about to give
a eulogy, um, about this.
587
00:23:21,655 --> 00:23:23,256
So I'm just getting prepared.
588
00:23:23,322 --> 00:23:24,958
You mind if I just say it out
loud to you guys real quick?
589
00:23:25,025 --> 00:23:27,060
- Sure. Go on.
- Yeah. Hold her. Thanks.
590
00:23:27,127 --> 00:23:28,228
Okay.
591
00:23:28,295 --> 00:23:29,262
Sometimes he makes it
look easy.
592
00:23:29,328 --> 00:23:31,363
"This that eulogy. You know.
593
00:23:31,431 --> 00:23:33,266
You know what it is,
gang, gang.
594
00:23:33,332 --> 00:23:35,302
Devin died. He got got."
595
00:23:36,603 --> 00:23:38,038
"He got shot. He loved life.
596
00:23:38,104 --> 00:23:39,472
He loved wife, my wife.
597
00:23:39,539 --> 00:23:41,775
I shot that mother.
Eleven shots in the leg."
598
00:23:41,842 --> 00:23:43,476
- In the leg?
- "I ain't supposed to be here,
599
00:23:43,543 --> 00:23:45,312
but y'all know what?
Y'all can scratch.
600
00:23:45,377 --> 00:23:47,180
I came here
to see him put down
601
00:23:47,247 --> 00:23:48,281
- and piss on the grave."
- Oh!
602
00:23:50,349 --> 00:23:52,986
That's when I would take...
Expose myself and start peeing.
603
00:23:53,053 --> 00:23:54,721
- "Expose myself and..."
- And then remember
604
00:23:54,788 --> 00:23:56,656
to drink a lot of water prior,
as a note to myself.
605
00:23:56,723 --> 00:23:59,192
And then escape out
the southeast exit...
606
00:23:59,259 --> 00:24:00,594
- Escape.
- Of the cemetery.
607
00:24:00,660 --> 00:24:02,028
And it's a right on red.
608
00:24:03,230 --> 00:24:04,531
So that's how I would do that.
609
00:24:04,598 --> 00:24:06,433
- Way too extreme.
- Is it too extreme?
610
00:24:06,499 --> 00:24:08,969
Oh!
611
00:24:09,035 --> 00:24:10,203
Yes!
612
00:24:10,270 --> 00:24:11,671
I should probably just say
he was a good guy.
613
00:24:11,738 --> 00:24:13,173
Yeah, just probably...
Yeah, yeah.
614
00:24:13,240 --> 00:24:14,274
I think that's all.
That's why you're MC, yeah.
615
00:24:14,341 --> 00:24:15,407
So not good to go, then.
616
00:24:22,182 --> 00:24:24,584
Here goes Q. He looks good.
He's all cleaned up.
617
00:24:24,651 --> 00:24:25,986
- Q always looks good.
- Take a picture?
618
00:24:26,052 --> 00:24:29,422
- Yeah, no problem.
- Here you go, Q, you're in.
619
00:24:29,489 --> 00:24:31,024
Got it. There you go.
Thank you.
620
00:24:31,091 --> 00:24:33,994
Thanks, I'm, uh, doing
a eulogy, actually.
621
00:24:34,060 --> 00:24:36,395
We're supposed to dump
the ashes in here,
622
00:24:36,463 --> 00:24:37,864
but it turns out
you're not allowed to.
623
00:24:37,931 --> 00:24:39,366
Do you mind if I run
the speech by you?
624
00:24:39,432 --> 00:24:41,368
'Cause I'm super nervous.
It's super short.
625
00:24:41,434 --> 00:24:43,536
"What to say
about Cousin Frieda?
626
00:24:44,537 --> 00:24:45,939
Sure, she had loose morals
627
00:24:46,006 --> 00:24:48,575
and a libido that wouldn't
quit, and that's..."
628
00:24:49,376 --> 00:24:50,443
- How old are you?
- 13.
629
00:24:50,510 --> 00:24:52,646
13? All right, cool.
630
00:24:52,712 --> 00:24:55,282
I'm good.
631
00:24:55,348 --> 00:24:57,617
That's it. You're out.
632
00:24:57,684 --> 00:25:00,820
It's all about how she died
'cause of STDs.
633
00:25:12,332 --> 00:25:13,867
- Gettin' up.
- Ready to go.
634
00:25:25,145 --> 00:25:27,480
- Can you guys humor me?
- Always.
635
00:25:28,715 --> 00:25:30,283
Can we find a cave?
636
00:25:32,585 --> 00:25:33,787
Don't ask.
637
00:25:33,853 --> 00:25:36,122
- Wait, it depends, for who.
- You.
638
00:25:38,792 --> 00:25:42,796
This, I mean, this idea
basically was a layup for us.
639
00:25:42,862 --> 00:25:44,597
Just how do we make
Joe's stupid face
640
00:25:44,664 --> 00:25:45,865
look even more stupid?
641
00:25:45,932 --> 00:25:49,402
The conceit here
is Joe lost his tour
642
00:25:49,469 --> 00:25:51,371
about three decades ago.
643
00:25:51,439 --> 00:25:53,907
And he's been living
under the earth ever since.
644
00:25:53,974 --> 00:25:56,810
Middle of the summer,
when it's 110 degrees outside,
645
00:25:56,876 --> 00:25:58,678
this is the place to be,
I'll tell you that.
646
00:25:58,745 --> 00:26:00,547
When you guys see Joe
for the first time,
647
00:26:00,613 --> 00:26:02,115
that's the first time
we're seeing Joe.
648
00:26:02,182 --> 00:26:03,350
I can't wait for this.
649
00:26:03,416 --> 00:26:04,452
So as we're coming
through here,
650
00:26:04,517 --> 00:26:05,852
kind of look along the ceiling.
651
00:26:05,919 --> 00:26:07,620
We got lots
of these little divots.
652
00:26:07,687 --> 00:26:09,589
Here we go.
653
00:26:09,656 --> 00:26:11,157
You'll notice these cracks.
654
00:26:11,224 --> 00:26:14,027
That's the water movement
when all this was underwater.
655
00:26:14,094 --> 00:26:15,228
Hello?
656
00:26:15,295 --> 00:26:16,796
- Oh.
- Oh.
657
00:26:16,863 --> 00:26:19,766
- Yo.
- Oh, hey, man.
658
00:26:19,833 --> 00:26:21,167
Oh.
659
00:26:21,234 --> 00:26:24,604
- Are you all right?
- Yeah. What's up?
660
00:26:26,539 --> 00:26:28,908
Oh, my God! Oh, my God!
661
00:26:30,377 --> 00:26:33,313
Look at their faces.
They're shocked.
662
00:26:33,380 --> 00:26:35,582
Oh, my God. For real, though?
663
00:26:35,648 --> 00:26:37,350
That's freakin' me out.
664
00:26:37,417 --> 00:26:38,551
It's freakin' you out?
665
00:26:38,618 --> 00:26:39,786
Imagine what this is like
for me.
666
00:26:39,853 --> 00:26:41,054
You all right, dude?
667
00:26:41,121 --> 00:26:42,288
No, I've been
to too many movies.
668
00:26:42,355 --> 00:26:43,424
Oh, he's gross.
669
00:26:43,491 --> 00:26:45,459
I got lost
a little while ago.
670
00:26:45,525 --> 00:26:46,726
Hey.
671
00:26:46,793 --> 00:26:48,028
I didn't think he was...
I didn't think
672
00:26:48,094 --> 00:26:49,629
he was gonna come out
of this cave.
673
00:26:49,696 --> 00:26:52,265
I was waiting for my parents.
674
00:26:52,332 --> 00:26:53,967
I've been down here since 1987.
675
00:26:55,769 --> 00:26:57,203
Dad said,
"Don't have a cow, man.
676
00:26:57,270 --> 00:26:58,304
Talk to the hand."
677
00:26:58,371 --> 00:27:00,640
And I was here...
678
00:27:00,707 --> 00:27:02,208
I got all turned around.
679
00:27:02,275 --> 00:27:04,677
What happened was I was looking
for the gift shop...
680
00:27:05,645 --> 00:27:07,013
It's on down the left.
681
00:27:08,615 --> 00:27:10,583
I went on my ass
to the left here...
682
00:27:10,650 --> 00:27:11,951
I like your shirt.
683
00:27:12,018 --> 00:27:14,054
I'm the beef.
684
00:27:14,120 --> 00:27:16,322
Joe, be proud
of your "I'm the Beef" shirt.
685
00:27:16,389 --> 00:27:18,426
- Back of...
- I'm the beef.
686
00:27:18,492 --> 00:27:20,827
I'm the beef.
687
00:27:20,894 --> 00:27:22,062
I'm sorry.
I didn't mean to interrupt.
688
00:27:22,128 --> 00:27:23,730
- I'll just fold in.
- Oh, okay.
689
00:27:23,797 --> 00:27:25,799
Well, the water...
690
00:27:25,865 --> 00:27:27,367
Again, the water
that moves through it,
691
00:27:27,435 --> 00:27:29,102
that just opens up the cave.
692
00:27:29,169 --> 00:27:31,371
So this water,
usually, with the rain,
693
00:27:31,439 --> 00:27:32,605
will come up over that way.
694
00:27:32,672 --> 00:27:33,840
Y'all have any questions?
695
00:27:33,907 --> 00:27:34,874
I have...
I have a lot of questions.
696
00:27:34,941 --> 00:27:37,077
Uh, yeah. Go ahead.
697
00:27:37,143 --> 00:27:39,379
Let's start
with what year is it?
698
00:27:39,447 --> 00:27:41,915
- It's 2018, sir.
- Okay.
699
00:27:41,981 --> 00:27:45,085
Let me check my pager.
700
00:27:45,151 --> 00:27:47,555
Joe, have them fall in line
and walk in front of them
701
00:27:47,620 --> 00:27:49,055
- like you're a sergeant.
- Why don't you...
702
00:27:49,122 --> 00:27:50,857
Why don't you let me
just tell everybody?
703
00:27:50,924 --> 00:27:52,025
- You're pissed at everybody.
- This water comes every...
704
00:27:52,092 --> 00:27:53,359
Come on, Neil.
705
00:27:54,661 --> 00:27:55,995
This is what happened.
706
00:27:56,062 --> 00:27:57,664
You go up this ravine
and it's a dead end.
707
00:27:57,730 --> 00:28:01,367
- Goes up, like, 200 feet.
- 350 feet, Neil.
708
00:28:01,435 --> 00:28:03,903
Goes to 350 feet, okay?
709
00:28:03,970 --> 00:28:05,171
I mean, if you're gonna
talk out your ass,
710
00:28:05,238 --> 00:28:06,673
turn around
so I can understand you.
711
00:28:10,110 --> 00:28:11,978
Anybody know who shot J.R.?
712
00:28:12,045 --> 00:28:13,680
Do you guys know who shot J.R.?
713
00:28:15,982 --> 00:28:18,318
'Cause I missed...
J.R. from Dallas.
714
00:28:18,384 --> 00:28:19,553
I missed that.
715
00:28:19,619 --> 00:28:21,321
It's been on my mind
for so long.
716
00:28:21,387 --> 00:28:24,390
- Dad?
- Dad? What?
717
00:28:24,458 --> 00:28:26,392
I didn't say shit.
718
00:28:28,695 --> 00:28:30,598
You guys,
follow me out of here.
719
00:28:30,663 --> 00:28:31,798
I'm dying to get outside.
720
00:28:31,865 --> 00:28:33,099
Did Mondale get a second term?
721
00:28:33,166 --> 00:28:35,001
Did Mondale get a second term?
722
00:28:37,871 --> 00:28:40,974
Uh, okay, we're still
rolling here, guys.
723
00:28:42,408 --> 00:28:45,278
You fucking son of a bitch.
Oh, my God.
724
00:28:45,345 --> 00:28:47,714
Oh, my God.
It scared the shit out of me.
725
00:28:47,780 --> 00:28:49,282
- Oh, my God.
- Oh, my God!
726
00:28:58,024 --> 00:28:59,692
Turn up the tension.
Pedal, pedal.
727
00:28:59,759 --> 00:29:01,060
- Hey, bud, what's up?
- Hey.
728
00:29:01,127 --> 00:29:04,797
You, uh, have
a laptop charger or...
729
00:29:04,864 --> 00:29:06,232
Which one?
USB-C or the older ones?
730
00:29:06,299 --> 00:29:09,135
Let's go, ladies!
Keep it going!
731
00:29:09,202 --> 00:29:11,704
Work the quads,
work the glutes.
732
00:29:11,771 --> 00:29:13,039
Anyways, what can I do
for you, bud?
733
00:29:13,106 --> 00:29:14,908
- "Let's go, ladies"?
- Let's go, yeah.
734
00:29:14,974 --> 00:29:16,477
Who are these ladies?
735
00:29:16,544 --> 00:29:18,811
Do me a favor, keep 'em
encouraged while I'm gone.
736
00:29:21,247 --> 00:29:23,283
Let's go!
737
00:29:23,349 --> 00:29:25,619
You are doggin' it!
I want to see more out of you!
738
00:29:25,685 --> 00:29:26,953
You over there,
you're looking good.
739
00:29:27,020 --> 00:29:28,656
- Let's go!
- Sorry, that's too much.
740
00:29:28,721 --> 00:29:30,089
- That's too much.
- Yeah, I'm so sorry.
741
00:29:30,156 --> 00:29:31,425
I don't have the USB-C,
I have the older laptop,
742
00:29:31,492 --> 00:29:32,593
so I don't got it, bud.
743
00:29:32,660 --> 00:29:34,060
Good?
744
00:29:34,127 --> 00:29:35,529
- Did you...
- I haven't got it, okay?
745
00:29:35,596 --> 00:29:38,731
Come on, ladies!
Let's go, let's go, let's go!
746
00:29:53,813 --> 00:29:55,915
Q is on a boat
with a couple of strangers,
747
00:29:55,982 --> 00:29:57,984
and we've arranged
for this boat to pull up
748
00:29:58,051 --> 00:29:59,453
on someone in distress.
749
00:29:59,520 --> 00:30:02,255
Q doesn't know who, how,
or what the situation is.
750
00:30:02,322 --> 00:30:04,324
In that moment,
the captain's gonna say,
751
00:30:04,390 --> 00:30:06,527
because of the law,
he cannot accept
752
00:30:06,594 --> 00:30:07,827
anyone else on the boat
753
00:30:07,894 --> 00:30:09,463
unless it's unanimously
agreed upon.
754
00:30:09,530 --> 00:30:11,297
The catch is that we're
gonna give him the reason
755
00:30:11,364 --> 00:30:12,899
why this guy
can't get on the boat.
756
00:30:13,933 --> 00:30:15,235
You see that?
757
00:30:15,301 --> 00:30:17,937
Guy over there
flagging us down.
758
00:30:18,004 --> 00:30:20,006
- A guy?
- Uh-oh, Q. Uh-oh, Q.
759
00:30:20,073 --> 00:30:21,241
Somebody's in the water.
760
00:30:24,210 --> 00:30:25,613
You see who that is, Q?
761
00:30:25,679 --> 00:30:29,182
Is that a U.S. soldier?
762
00:30:29,249 --> 00:30:31,251
- A hero?
- An American hero.
763
00:30:31,317 --> 00:30:33,721
It's G.I. Float.
764
00:30:33,786 --> 00:30:36,289
I'm a U.S. soldier in distress.
765
00:30:36,356 --> 00:30:37,458
Can you please help?
766
00:30:37,524 --> 00:30:38,659
We have to make sure
that everyone's okay
767
00:30:38,726 --> 00:30:39,892
with bringing him on.
768
00:30:39,959 --> 00:30:40,893
Are you guys
all right with that?
769
00:30:40,960 --> 00:30:42,295
Yeah, that's all right.
770
00:30:42,362 --> 00:30:43,896
You're okay
with bringing him on?
771
00:30:43,963 --> 00:30:47,534
If he's in distress,
then we want to help.
772
00:30:47,601 --> 00:30:48,935
You okay to bring him on?
773
00:30:49,002 --> 00:30:50,370
Well, hear me out.
774
00:30:50,437 --> 00:30:52,005
I mean, we help a solider
in a dinghy,
775
00:30:52,071 --> 00:30:53,906
what's that gonna do
for his confidence?
776
00:30:53,973 --> 00:30:56,142
If we...
777
00:30:56,209 --> 00:30:58,177
If we were to help
a soldier in a dinghy,
778
00:30:58,244 --> 00:31:00,146
what's that do
for his confidence?
779
00:31:02,148 --> 00:31:04,718
We have backed him
into a corner like no other.
780
00:31:04,784 --> 00:31:06,886
- Where's he from?
- Where did you serve?
781
00:31:06,953 --> 00:31:09,623
- Iraq.
- Oh, so he survived Iraq.
782
00:31:09,690 --> 00:31:11,057
He's okay.
783
00:31:11,124 --> 00:31:13,661
I thank you for your service.
784
00:31:13,727 --> 00:31:16,396
I'm just saying, we don't really
know anything about the guy.
785
00:31:16,463 --> 00:31:18,499
They sell that outfit
at any Army-Navy store.
786
00:31:18,565 --> 00:31:21,034
You know?
787
00:31:21,100 --> 00:31:22,469
How is this even an issue?
788
00:31:26,939 --> 00:31:28,274
I know this looks like
I don't want
789
00:31:28,341 --> 00:31:29,777
to save a U.S. soldier
in distress...
790
00:31:29,876 --> 00:31:31,578
- No, it doesn't.
- It doesn't? Great.
791
00:31:32,812 --> 00:31:34,548
- Oh! Oh, my God!
- Wow.
792
00:31:34,615 --> 00:31:37,083
How is he convincing people
not to help a soldier?
793
00:31:37,150 --> 00:31:39,486
I know, right, a unanimous
vote from you guys, seriously.
794
00:31:39,553 --> 00:31:40,721
Yeah, we're good.
795
00:31:40,788 --> 00:31:41,988
We talked it out,
796
00:31:42,055 --> 00:31:44,090
and we're okay
just bailing on him.
797
00:31:44,157 --> 00:31:45,659
I feel bad
leaving him out there.
798
00:31:45,726 --> 00:31:47,126
- Yes!
- Oh.
799
00:31:47,193 --> 00:31:49,530
I need an answer
from each of you, then, so...
800
00:31:49,596 --> 00:31:51,699
I'll go with whatever
the group decides.
801
00:31:51,765 --> 00:31:52,899
Let him on the boat.
802
00:31:52,965 --> 00:31:54,133
- Yeah?
- Oh!
803
00:31:54,200 --> 00:31:57,003
- Let him on?
- Yeah!
804
00:31:57,070 --> 00:31:58,404
Where were you going to?
805
00:31:58,472 --> 00:32:00,840
Uh, actually,
I was trying to get to Miami
806
00:32:00,907 --> 00:32:02,643
to see the Paula Abdul concert.
807
00:32:04,243 --> 00:32:06,580
Aren't we all.
808
00:32:12,486 --> 00:32:14,153
This looks like
a real party crowd
809
00:32:14,220 --> 00:32:16,490
you have out there, pal.
810
00:32:16,557 --> 00:32:18,391
We're about to roll up
on somebody.
811
00:32:18,459 --> 00:32:21,027
Here we go,
they're already worried.
812
00:32:21,094 --> 00:32:22,830
It's a man in a boat?
813
00:32:22,895 --> 00:32:24,631
Joe, why don't you go take
a look at who's in distress?
814
00:32:24,698 --> 00:32:26,899
Just watch Joe's face.
815
00:32:29,001 --> 00:32:30,269
I'm stuck.
816
00:32:30,336 --> 00:32:32,071
Can you swing around,
give me a hand?
817
00:32:32,138 --> 00:32:33,272
Oh, man.
818
00:32:35,509 --> 00:32:37,910
Oh, I'm stuck!
819
00:32:37,977 --> 00:32:40,681
I'm having trouble
getting back on the boat.
820
00:32:40,748 --> 00:32:43,517
What does he think?
821
00:32:43,584 --> 00:32:46,119
Basically, maritime law says
that if we bring him on,
822
00:32:46,185 --> 00:32:48,121
everyone has to be okay
with us bringing him on.
823
00:32:48,187 --> 00:32:50,557
- Does it have to be unanimous?
- It has to be unanimous.
824
00:32:50,624 --> 00:32:51,991
- Is it all right with you?
- Oh, no it...
825
00:32:52,058 --> 00:32:53,092
- Is it okay with you, sir?
- Yeah.
826
00:32:53,761 --> 00:32:55,395
Oh, no.
827
00:32:56,764 --> 00:32:57,930
I mean, hear me out.
828
00:32:57,997 --> 00:32:59,298
I promised I'd never put myself
829
00:32:59,365 --> 00:33:00,900
into this situation again.
830
00:33:00,967 --> 00:33:02,201
I promised
I'd never put myself
831
00:33:02,268 --> 00:33:03,537
in this situation again.
832
00:33:03,604 --> 00:33:04,805
I've been burned once.
833
00:33:04,872 --> 00:33:05,706
I'm not gonna let it
happen twice.
834
00:33:07,541 --> 00:33:09,108
- You're saying no?
- I'm saying no, yeah.
835
00:33:09,175 --> 00:33:11,210
Murr, I'm having issues
with my dinghy.
836
00:33:11,277 --> 00:33:14,046
Guys, I'm having issues
with my dinghy.
837
00:33:14,113 --> 00:33:15,982
I don't know which dinghy
he's talking about.
838
00:33:16,048 --> 00:33:18,050
I don't know.
839
00:33:19,686 --> 00:33:22,456
I mean, you gotta see it
from our point of view, pal.
840
00:33:22,523 --> 00:33:24,323
Joe, go on a rant.
Take this thing over.
841
00:33:24,390 --> 00:33:26,092
You got your buttocks out
in the middle of the ocean,
842
00:33:26,159 --> 00:33:27,960
bobbing up and down
with a lady on the boat,
843
00:33:28,027 --> 00:33:29,430
I mean, you want us
to take you on...
844
00:33:29,496 --> 00:33:31,097
- I mean, where are your trunks?
- What?
845
00:33:31,164 --> 00:33:33,434
The logic doesn't track.
Where are your trunks?
846
00:33:35,401 --> 00:33:37,438
Can't we just help him
get on his boat?
847
00:33:37,504 --> 00:33:39,038
Joey,
it's you versus Murr.
848
00:33:39,105 --> 00:33:41,575
- He gets on, you lose.
- Dead, pal.
849
00:33:41,642 --> 00:33:44,977
Yeah, the rule is we both
get on this boat, I lose.
850
00:33:45,813 --> 00:33:48,414
- Pretty much.
- What?
851
00:33:48,482 --> 00:33:49,850
Wait, wait, whoa, whoa.
Hold on!
852
00:33:49,917 --> 00:33:51,250
What are you doing?
853
00:33:52,084 --> 00:33:53,720
Joe, Joe, Joe, Joe, Joey.
854
00:33:53,787 --> 00:33:55,354
What are you... What?
855
00:33:55,422 --> 00:33:57,957
I'm out. Ah!
856
00:34:01,562 --> 00:34:02,896
Is this for real?
857
00:34:02,962 --> 00:34:05,198
He's gonna save him.
He's going to save him.
858
00:34:05,264 --> 00:34:08,267
- Come on!
- So Murray still loses.
859
00:34:08,334 --> 00:34:09,770
- That's it, he's off.
- Oh, my God, Murray...
860
00:34:09,837 --> 00:34:10,970
Well, he's not
getting on the boat.
861
00:34:11,037 --> 00:34:12,071
- Get in...
- Just not...
862
00:34:12,138 --> 00:34:14,340
- Oh!
- Oh!
863
00:34:14,407 --> 00:34:16,175
Oh, my God! Oh, my God!
864
00:34:16,242 --> 00:34:18,579
How could you dare
touch that ass?
865
00:34:18,645 --> 00:34:21,448
- I'll see you back at land.
- Are you kidding me? Joe!
866
00:34:21,515 --> 00:34:23,015
Do you have beer on this boat?
867
00:34:24,651 --> 00:34:25,853
Son of a...
868
00:34:47,240 --> 00:34:50,477
- Wow. This is special.
- Ooh.
869
00:34:50,544 --> 00:34:52,044
You couldn't have booked
something a little bit better?
870
00:34:52,111 --> 00:34:53,680
It's 2 1/2 stars.
How many stars do you need?
871
00:34:53,747 --> 00:34:55,314
- All of them.
- One of the reviews,
872
00:34:55,381 --> 00:34:58,351
Danny D. says,
"Found two crack pipes, lolz."
873
00:34:58,417 --> 00:35:00,888
With a Z.
Still gave it four stars.
874
00:35:00,954 --> 00:35:02,054
- All right.
- With a Z?
875
00:35:02,121 --> 00:35:03,524
- It's got cable.
- That's hip.
876
00:35:13,600 --> 00:35:15,034
You guys did not think
we weren't gonna
877
00:35:15,101 --> 00:35:16,603
mess with Sal
on this trip, did you?
878
00:35:16,670 --> 00:35:18,572
Yeah, that's right, we stopped
at this roadside motel
879
00:35:18,639 --> 00:35:20,072
because they allow pets.
880
00:35:20,139 --> 00:35:21,575
You're about to see
a grown man cry.
881
00:35:23,677 --> 00:35:25,344
I was saying, like, pull up
to him, so it could be fun.
882
00:35:25,411 --> 00:35:27,079
Just... You're just going
to see what he's doing.
883
00:35:27,146 --> 00:35:29,248
- Right. Hoodie's on?
- Get in.
884
00:35:32,418 --> 00:35:33,520
What?
885
00:35:37,056 --> 00:35:38,825
All right. Can I...
886
00:35:38,892 --> 00:35:40,293
Just open the door, buddy.
887
00:35:40,359 --> 00:35:42,429
- There's no handle.
- No handle?
888
00:35:42,496 --> 00:35:44,130
This isn't the nicest motel.
889
00:35:44,196 --> 00:35:45,699
This wasn't right for today.
890
00:35:45,766 --> 00:35:47,801
Sal, everybody knows
you're afraid of cats.
891
00:35:56,142 --> 00:35:58,912
Oh, my...
892
00:35:58,979 --> 00:36:00,847
That's a tiger.
893
00:36:00,914 --> 00:36:03,249
Oh, my God. Oh, my God.
894
00:36:03,316 --> 00:36:06,419
I can't do this. Oh, my God.
895
00:36:06,486 --> 00:36:09,556
How did you get the insurance
to sign off on this?
896
00:36:09,623 --> 00:36:10,958
We didn't.
897
00:36:11,024 --> 00:36:13,359
Guys, I don't think it's funny.
I don't want to do it.
898
00:36:13,427 --> 00:36:16,395
Guys, please. Guys, please.
Guys, please.
899
00:36:16,463 --> 00:36:17,864
I don't think it's funny, guys.
900
00:36:19,633 --> 00:36:20,834
Oh. Can't move.
901
00:36:20,901 --> 00:36:23,169
Yeah, that's probably wise
that you don't move.
902
00:36:23,235 --> 00:36:25,606
I've seen so many movies
and so many TV shows...
903
00:36:25,672 --> 00:36:28,140
In one second,
if this tiger wants to kill me,
904
00:36:28,207 --> 00:36:30,142
the tiger's gonna kill me.
905
00:36:31,878 --> 00:36:34,246
Guys, did you think this
through all the way?
906
00:36:34,313 --> 00:36:35,682
- Not really
- Not really, no.
907
00:36:35,749 --> 00:36:37,584
How can you do this to me?
What do I do?
908
00:36:37,651 --> 00:36:39,086
Try to get
out of the room, bud.
909
00:36:39,151 --> 00:36:40,721
There's a door
right in front of you.
910
00:36:44,091 --> 00:36:45,626
- Uh-oh.
- Uh-oh.
911
00:36:45,692 --> 00:36:47,427
Now he's more concerned
about the lock than the tiger.
912
00:36:47,494 --> 00:36:50,530
No, no, no, no, no.
913
00:36:50,597 --> 00:36:51,865
Oh, my God. Oh, my God.
914
00:36:51,932 --> 00:36:52,966
Oh, my God!
915
00:36:53,033 --> 00:36:56,937
Guys, I can't make it.
916
00:36:57,004 --> 00:36:58,605
Good, he's brushing
his teeth. Go, go.
917
00:36:58,672 --> 00:37:00,373
- He's brushing his teeth.
- There he goes.
918
00:37:00,440 --> 00:37:01,407
- He's up on the sink.
- Get out of there.
919
00:37:01,475 --> 00:37:03,810
Get out of there, quick.
920
00:37:03,877 --> 00:37:05,846
Look at the poster
in front of your face.
921
00:37:05,912 --> 00:37:08,782
- You think that's funny?
- It's the shit.
922
00:37:08,849 --> 00:37:10,617
Just hang in there, pal.
923
00:37:10,684 --> 00:37:12,385
Guys, I...
924
00:37:13,285 --> 00:37:15,822
don't think this is funny.
925
00:37:15,889 --> 00:37:18,190
- Who's there?
- Just let me in, guys.
926
00:37:18,257 --> 00:37:19,526
- It's not funny.
- Sal, it's super easy.
927
00:37:19,593 --> 00:37:20,661
You just have to say
this sentence.
928
00:37:20,727 --> 00:37:22,062
- Go ahead.
- "Let me in.
929
00:37:22,129 --> 00:37:24,296
I'm a baby bitch boy."
930
00:37:24,363 --> 00:37:25,899
Let me in,
I'm the baby bitch boy.
931
00:37:27,400 --> 00:37:28,935
No, no, that's what Joe
wanted you to say.
932
00:37:29,002 --> 00:37:30,403
I want you to say,
933
00:37:30,470 --> 00:37:33,807
"Murr's funnier, smarter,
and better than me."
934
00:37:33,874 --> 00:37:35,609
Come here, buddy.
Come here, buddy.
935
00:37:51,692 --> 00:37:53,927
Chaplin moustache
will never come back.
936
00:37:53,994 --> 00:37:55,028
- Oh, hey, bud.
- Hey.
937
00:37:55,095 --> 00:37:55,929
Do you know the Wi-Fi password?
938
00:37:55,996 --> 00:37:57,263
Oh, the Wi-Fi?
939
00:37:57,329 --> 00:37:58,532
Sure, you don't have it
in your room?
940
00:37:58,598 --> 00:38:00,467
No, the card's not in there,
so, yeah.
941
00:38:05,906 --> 00:38:07,574
I mean, just search
for Morgan Suites.
942
00:38:07,641 --> 00:38:09,142
The password is "password."
943
00:38:09,208 --> 00:38:10,877
The password is "password"?
That's not very secure.
944
00:38:10,944 --> 00:38:12,612
- No.
- Yeah. Oh, hey.
945
00:38:12,679 --> 00:38:15,281
Oh, hey! It's the Houlihans.
946
00:38:15,347 --> 00:38:17,416
One sec. Hey, Marisa, Chris.
Come on.
947
00:38:17,484 --> 00:38:18,518
- Please, please.
- Murr!
948
00:38:18,585 --> 00:38:20,252
Hey, Marisa, you look gorgeous.
949
00:38:20,319 --> 00:38:21,287
- Yeah.
- And Chris.
950
00:38:21,353 --> 00:38:22,422
Scotch is in the back.
951
00:38:22,489 --> 00:38:23,824
- Take it easy this time.
- Always.
952
00:38:23,890 --> 00:38:24,958
- All right, buddy. Good night.
- All right, man.
953
00:38:25,025 --> 00:38:25,959
You have a good night.
954
00:38:36,103 --> 00:38:37,537
Grover Cleveland
was a Capricorn... Yeah, man?
955
00:38:37,604 --> 00:38:38,839
Are there any caps
on the password?
956
00:38:38,905 --> 00:38:39,873
All caps.
957
00:38:39,940 --> 00:38:41,373
All caps password.
Yeah, thanks.
958
00:39:02,095 --> 00:39:05,331
Uh-huh. I guess I'm late.
959
00:39:05,397 --> 00:39:07,734
What do you want to do?
960
00:39:07,801 --> 00:39:09,401
All right, this looks nice
and cool in the sun.
961
00:39:09,469 --> 00:39:10,437
This is gonna be great.
962
00:39:14,040 --> 00:39:15,976
All right.
963
00:39:16,042 --> 00:39:17,444
Here we go.
964
00:39:17,511 --> 00:39:19,179
Oh, God, I'm gonna die.
965
00:39:20,647 --> 00:39:22,816
Nobody told me your name,
buddy.
966
00:39:22,883 --> 00:39:25,118
So how about we go
with Benjamin Horse?
967
00:39:25,185 --> 00:39:26,887
Yes. All right.
968
00:39:31,191 --> 00:39:32,893
Oh.
969
00:39:32,959 --> 00:39:34,360
Oh, my goodness.
970
00:39:35,896 --> 00:39:39,733
This says we go up one mile
and make a left,
971
00:39:39,800 --> 00:39:43,503
and then we can punch the guys.
972
00:39:43,570 --> 00:39:45,438
I'd like to marry a girl
like you one day.
973
00:39:45,505 --> 00:39:48,307
Pretty. Beautiful blue eyes.
974
00:39:48,374 --> 00:39:50,577
Calm, steady demeanor.
975
00:39:50,644 --> 00:39:54,313
You guys messed up,
because I'm havin' a blast!
976
00:39:54,380 --> 00:39:56,783
This is the best
road trip ever!
977
00:40:03,523 --> 00:40:04,891
Let me ask you this,
978
00:40:04,958 --> 00:40:07,127
When was the last time
you had an E.L. Fudge?
979
00:40:07,194 --> 00:40:08,829
- One week ago.
- Really?
980
00:40:08,895 --> 00:40:10,197
- No exaggeration.
- You're lying.
981
00:40:10,263 --> 00:40:11,965
I swear to God.
982
00:40:12,032 --> 00:40:14,134
Fudge Stripe gets all the shine
over at Keebler.
983
00:40:14,201 --> 00:40:15,569
Fudge Stripe's a better cookie.
984
00:40:15,635 --> 00:40:17,403
I'm talking Keebler,
I'm talking E.L. Fudge.
985
00:40:17,470 --> 00:40:19,239
I'm talking Fudge Stripe,
and then I move on.
986
00:40:19,306 --> 00:40:20,674
I'll give you $1,000/
987
00:40:20,740 --> 00:40:22,442
if any of you can tell me
what E.L. stands for.
988
00:40:23,877 --> 00:40:25,411
I'm blowing your mind
right now.
989
00:40:25,478 --> 00:40:28,849
Everybody loves?
990
00:40:28,915 --> 00:40:32,319
- Shit.
- You carry $1,000 with you?
991
00:40:32,384 --> 00:40:34,955
- I think I see someone.
- Yeah!
992
00:40:35,021 --> 00:40:36,089
Oh, there he is.
993
00:40:37,057 --> 00:40:39,226
Welcome to the party, pal.
994
00:40:39,292 --> 00:40:40,627
Come on, Fatiator.
995
00:40:40,694 --> 00:40:42,896
Once my balls shot directly
up in my body
996
00:40:42,963 --> 00:40:46,398
about a mile back,
I started enjoying it.
997
00:40:46,466 --> 00:40:47,834
- You got it. Be careful, man.
- Whoa!
998
00:40:47,901 --> 00:40:51,304
- Park it over there.
- Okay, okay. All right.
999
00:40:51,370 --> 00:40:52,439
You good?
1000
00:40:57,644 --> 00:40:59,112
You're forever
my horse, baby.
1001
00:41:10,257 --> 00:41:12,292
Murr, how... This idiot.
1002
00:41:12,359 --> 00:41:13,827
- What?
- Look at...
1003
00:41:15,795 --> 00:41:17,831
How does he even sleep
like that?
1004
00:41:17,898 --> 00:41:19,432
Oh, man.
He's got no idea what's coming.
1005
00:41:19,499 --> 00:41:21,668
Oh, I know.
I've already made some calls.
1006
00:41:24,371 --> 00:41:26,339
♪ Get ready, get ready, go ♪
1007
00:41:26,405 --> 00:41:28,541
♪ Forever my girl
Forever my chick ♪
1008
00:41:28,608 --> 00:41:29,776
♪ Together forever, we lit ♪
1009
00:41:29,843 --> 00:41:31,211
♪ Whatever the gift, she cool ♪
1010
00:41:31,278 --> 00:41:32,345
♪ Whatever she get ♪
1011
00:41:32,411 --> 00:41:33,380
♪ Strawberry letters for dick ♪
1012
00:41:33,446 --> 00:41:34,514
♪ I'm bound to sweat ♪
1013
00:41:34,581 --> 00:41:36,016
♪ Got 'em whenever she's sick ♪
1014
00:41:36,082 --> 00:41:38,084
♪ She call me
This medicine quick ♪
1015
00:41:38,151 --> 00:41:39,386
♪ I measured the dick before
I could measure the bitch ♪
1016
00:41:39,452 --> 00:41:40,453
♪ She on the measuring stick ♪
1017
00:41:40,520 --> 00:41:41,988
♪ I'm heavy legit ♪
1018
00:41:42,055 --> 00:41:43,356
♪ Like forever is wrong,
Whatever I do ♪
1019
00:41:43,423 --> 00:41:44,858
♪ You, forever my boo ♪
1020
00:41:44,925 --> 00:41:46,192
♪ And back when
They call me the cat ♪
1021
00:41:46,259 --> 00:41:47,327
♪ I'm like Pepé Le Pew ♪
1022
00:41:47,394 --> 00:41:48,762
♪ Ha ♪
1023
00:41:48,828 --> 00:41:51,464
♪ Staten Island
in the building ♪
1024
00:41:51,531 --> 00:41:52,866
♪ Yeah ♪
1025
00:41:52,933 --> 00:41:54,734
I'm shaking.
1026
00:41:54,801 --> 00:41:56,536
All right, how are you?
1027
00:42:02,442 --> 00:42:03,843
Well, ladies,
this is the birthday boy.
1028
00:42:03,910 --> 00:42:04,978
We're here to celebrate him.
1029
00:42:07,447 --> 00:42:09,149
So let's do this.
1030
00:42:14,087 --> 00:42:15,388
I hold back.
1031
00:42:15,455 --> 00:42:17,657
I get shy at first.
1032
00:42:19,526 --> 00:42:21,695
I guess it is a little.
1033
00:42:21,761 --> 00:42:23,029
It's his birthday, ladies.
1034
00:42:23,096 --> 00:42:24,764
What does this look like
from your vantage?
1035
00:42:28,635 --> 00:42:33,373
♪ Happy birthday to you ♪
1036
00:42:33,441 --> 00:42:37,877
♪ Happy birthday to you ♪
1037
00:42:37,944 --> 00:42:42,949
♪ Happy birthday, dear Murray ♪
1038
00:42:43,016 --> 00:42:48,388
♪ Happy birthday to you ♪
1039
00:42:48,456 --> 00:42:49,823
Are you serious?
1040
00:42:49,889 --> 00:42:51,958
That's Murray's family
behind us.
1041
00:42:52,025 --> 00:42:54,728
That's James' nieces
and nephews.
1042
00:42:54,794 --> 00:42:56,863
- Happy birthday, my friend.
- Oh, my God.
1043
00:42:56,930 --> 00:42:58,865
They're all here!
1044
00:43:05,105 --> 00:43:09,477
Are you kidding me?
Are you kidding me?
1045
00:43:15,782 --> 00:43:17,250
Everybody's
ready to roll.
1046
00:43:19,386 --> 00:43:20,787
James, they're so innocent.
1047
00:43:20,854 --> 00:43:23,424
Are you kidding me?
You flew my whole...
1048
00:43:23,491 --> 00:43:26,159
That's my nieces and nephews.
1049
00:43:26,226 --> 00:43:28,094
It's all fake?
1050
00:43:28,161 --> 00:43:29,497
Happy birthday!
1051
00:43:31,898 --> 00:43:33,333
♪ I'm the joker ♪
1052
00:43:33,400 --> 00:43:35,535
♪ I'm practically nuts ♪
1053
00:43:35,602 --> 00:43:36,836
♪ With my crew ♪
1054
00:43:36,903 --> 00:43:39,839
Huh. The Atlanta Hawks
are hiring.
1055
00:43:41,509 --> 00:43:42,709
Players?
1056
00:43:44,878 --> 00:43:46,480
I feel like they shouldn't
put an ad out for that.
1057
00:43:46,546 --> 00:43:48,014
It's unclear.
1058
00:43:50,383 --> 00:43:51,751
All righty. Here we go.
1059
00:43:53,686 --> 00:43:55,288
♪ Whoa, joker ♪
1060
00:43:58,526 --> 00:43:59,692
- Murr.
- Yep.
1061
00:43:59,759 --> 00:44:00,927
- How you doing, buddy?
- I'm good.
1062
00:44:01,928 --> 00:44:03,464
Here we go. Here we go, guys.
1063
00:44:03,531 --> 00:44:05,598
- Here we go. We're in.
- How are you doing?
1064
00:44:05,665 --> 00:44:06,933
- Hey, I'm James Murray. Nice to meet you.
- Hey, nice to meet you. Joe.
1065
00:44:07,000 --> 00:44:08,401
- How are you?
- Good, good.
1066
00:44:08,469 --> 00:44:09,736
- How are you doing?
- Joe, pleasure. I'm great.
1067
00:44:09,803 --> 00:44:10,904
- Thank you so much.
- Awesome.
1068
00:44:10,970 --> 00:44:12,072
- Well, welcome.
- Thank you.
1069
00:44:12,138 --> 00:44:13,306
So where are you
coming in from?
1070
00:44:13,373 --> 00:44:14,741
Oh, I live here in Atlanta.
1071
00:44:14,808 --> 00:44:16,409
You answer the questions
we ask you.
1072
00:44:16,477 --> 00:44:18,011
So where are you
from originally?
1073
00:44:18,078 --> 00:44:19,979
Where do I see myself
in five years?
1074
00:44:20,046 --> 00:44:22,949
Well, in five years,
I see myself well on track
1075
00:44:23,016 --> 00:44:25,051
to maybe a managerial...
1076
00:44:25,118 --> 00:44:26,286
Okay, great.
1077
00:44:26,352 --> 00:44:28,388
So how'd you hear
about this role in particular?
1078
00:44:28,456 --> 00:44:30,090
Oh.
1079
00:44:30,156 --> 00:44:31,324
Well, what do you feel
your biggest strength is?
1080
00:44:31,391 --> 00:44:32,592
My biggest strengths are...
1081
00:44:33,993 --> 00:44:36,430
I would say confidence,
approachability...
1082
00:44:36,497 --> 00:44:38,098
- Sure.
- I'm easy to talk with.
1083
00:44:38,164 --> 00:44:39,933
Why leave your position
at Georgia State?
1084
00:44:39,999 --> 00:44:41,502
I saw you were there
until March.
1085
00:44:41,569 --> 00:44:43,537
- In full disclosure...
- In full disclosure...
1086
00:44:43,603 --> 00:44:48,576
- I had a child out of wedlock.
- I had a child out of wedlock.
1087
00:44:48,641 --> 00:44:50,877
If that disqualifies me
from the job, I understand.
1088
00:44:50,944 --> 00:44:53,646
If that disqualifies me
from the job, I understand.
1089
00:44:53,713 --> 00:44:56,382
- Nope. Nope. Certainly not.
- Right.
1090
00:44:57,984 --> 00:45:00,086
I put a Polaroid camera.
Just take a quick picture.
1091
00:45:00,787 --> 00:45:01,821
- Cool.
- Right?
1092
00:45:01,888 --> 00:45:03,356
- You got a...
- Yeah.
1093
00:45:05,024 --> 00:45:07,193
- Camera. Nice.
- Yeah.
1094
00:45:07,260 --> 00:45:08,828
Get him to sign it.
Get him to sign it.
1095
00:45:08,895 --> 00:45:11,030
- Well, um...
- Can you autograph?
1096
00:45:11,097 --> 00:45:12,765
- Is that cool?
- Sure, yeah. Yeah, bring it.
1097
00:45:12,832 --> 00:45:14,100
I mean,
you are on the Hawks.
1098
00:45:14,167 --> 00:45:15,603
I mean,
you are on the Hawks, so...
1099
00:45:15,668 --> 00:45:17,237
Yeah, well... Yeah.
1100
00:45:17,303 --> 00:45:19,139
I have to apologize
if I seem a little off.
1101
00:45:19,205 --> 00:45:20,773
I have to apologize,
by the way,
1102
00:45:20,840 --> 00:45:22,476
if I seem a little off
during the interview.
1103
00:45:22,543 --> 00:45:23,676
Aunt Flo's in town.
1104
00:45:23,743 --> 00:45:25,979
Aunt...
1105
00:45:26,045 --> 00:45:27,881
Frick.
1106
00:45:27,947 --> 00:45:29,282
Looks like I'm not
getting the job.
1107
00:45:31,818 --> 00:45:33,521
- Or the party ticket.
- Yeah.
1108
00:45:36,789 --> 00:45:38,191
Look at this, boys.
1109
00:45:38,258 --> 00:45:39,560
This is big-time...
You get this job,
1110
00:45:39,627 --> 00:45:40,960
you're gonna be
big-time, buddy.
1111
00:45:41,027 --> 00:45:42,095
This is a big-time gig
we're infiltrating.
1112
00:45:42,162 --> 00:45:44,230
I'm ready for the big time.
1113
00:45:44,297 --> 00:45:46,166
- Here she comes.
- Hello, hi.
1114
00:45:46,232 --> 00:45:48,001
- How are you?
- How are you? I'm Brian.
1115
00:45:48,067 --> 00:45:50,770
- Hey. Nice to meet you.
- Very nice to meet you.
1116
00:45:50,837 --> 00:45:51,804
Here we go.
1117
00:45:51,871 --> 00:45:53,306
- Oh.
- Here we go, Q.
1118
00:45:53,373 --> 00:45:55,375
You've seen
the job description.
1119
00:45:55,442 --> 00:45:56,910
- I have. Yeah.
- Correct?
1120
00:45:56,976 --> 00:45:59,212
- I got it right here.
- Two words, under qualified.
1121
00:45:59,279 --> 00:46:02,048
Two words, under qualified,
but willing to learn.
1122
00:46:02,115 --> 00:46:04,083
Willing to learn. That's great.
1123
00:46:05,385 --> 00:46:08,021
Can you describe
your style of management?
1124
00:46:08,087 --> 00:46:09,657
- My style of management?
- Mmm-hmm.
1125
00:46:09,722 --> 00:46:11,024
Sure, well,
my nickname's Crab Cake,
1126
00:46:11,090 --> 00:46:12,526
so if that's any indication...
1127
00:46:12,593 --> 00:46:14,928
My nickname... All my, uh...
1128
00:46:14,994 --> 00:46:16,829
All my workers
call me Crab Cakes,
1129
00:46:16,896 --> 00:46:18,331
if that's any indication.
1130
00:46:18,398 --> 00:46:19,533
- Yeah.
- Really?
1131
00:46:19,600 --> 00:46:20,601
- Yeah, Crab Cakes.
- Yeah.
1132
00:46:22,068 --> 00:46:23,770
If the guys want
to call me Crab Cakes,
1133
00:46:23,836 --> 00:46:26,640
hey, call me Crab Cakes.
1134
00:46:26,706 --> 00:46:28,141
- Off topic...
- Off topic...
1135
00:46:28,208 --> 00:46:30,477
Is that stupid mascot
of yours a woodpecker?
1136
00:46:30,544 --> 00:46:31,844
What is that thing?
1137
00:46:31,911 --> 00:46:34,814
Is that...
That stupid mascot you have,
1138
00:46:34,881 --> 00:46:36,517
is that a woodpecker,
what is that thing?
1139
00:46:38,284 --> 00:46:39,852
- I can't even look.
- Oh, my God.
1140
00:46:39,919 --> 00:46:42,021
- I can't even look.
- It's a hawk.
1141
00:46:42,088 --> 00:46:43,323
I don't know
what you call that bird.
1142
00:46:43,389 --> 00:46:44,924
Yeah? Oh, it looks
like a woodpecker.
1143
00:46:49,295 --> 00:46:50,363
Yeah.
1144
00:46:50,431 --> 00:46:52,065
Tell me a little bit
about yourself.
1145
00:46:52,131 --> 00:46:54,367
Will I be pissing in a cup
for a drug test?
1146
00:46:55,134 --> 00:46:57,170
Do you know, is, um...
1147
00:47:02,443 --> 00:47:03,843
He doesn't want to say it.
1148
00:47:03,910 --> 00:47:05,778
Yeah, I really tanked this one.
1149
00:47:05,845 --> 00:47:07,747
There's no way
I'm going to see Abdul.
1150
00:47:07,814 --> 00:47:10,584
There's no way I'm going
to see Paula Abdul.
1151
00:47:13,119 --> 00:47:14,521
Explain the plot of the movie.
1152
00:47:14,588 --> 00:47:15,989
We're four high school friends.
1153
00:47:16,055 --> 00:47:18,525
So we're on a road trip
for redemption
1154
00:47:18,592 --> 00:47:21,060
for an incident that happened
back in 1990,
1155
00:47:21,127 --> 00:47:22,596
like, coming back
to haunt us now.
1156
00:47:22,663 --> 00:47:24,732
And there's only three tickets
to see Abdul,
1157
00:47:24,797 --> 00:47:27,200
and one of us can't go.
1158
00:47:27,267 --> 00:47:29,402
- Rate our movie.
- The movie's 3 1/2 stars.
1159
00:47:29,470 --> 00:47:31,204
The movie's gonna be
3 1/2 stars.
1160
00:47:32,606 --> 00:47:34,040
This interview is bullshit.
1161
00:47:36,943 --> 00:47:38,778
This interview is bullshit.
1162
00:47:41,649 --> 00:47:44,017
Thank you.
1163
00:47:44,083 --> 00:47:45,785
It's total bullshit.
1164
00:47:47,020 --> 00:47:49,789
It's all for a movie.
1165
00:47:51,592 --> 00:47:53,560
Hey, buddy,
everything look cozy?
1166
00:47:53,627 --> 00:47:55,429
Yep.
What's that?
1167
00:47:55,496 --> 00:47:57,263
That's Chase, you met him
at a Big Brother program.
1168
00:47:57,330 --> 00:47:59,132
Then you lost him, and now
he's your guardian angel
1169
00:47:59,198 --> 00:48:01,535
that looks over you
during all the big events,
1170
00:48:01,602 --> 00:48:02,802
including job interviews.
1171
00:48:02,869 --> 00:48:04,203
- Hey.
- Oh, hey, yeah, yeah.
1172
00:48:04,270 --> 00:48:06,406
How are you?
Very random.
1173
00:48:06,473 --> 00:48:09,409
- That's actually Chase.
- Okay. Great.
1174
00:48:09,476 --> 00:48:10,611
He was my Little Brother,
1175
00:48:10,678 --> 00:48:11,712
in the Little Brother,
Big Brother program.
1176
00:48:11,779 --> 00:48:13,079
Okay.
1177
00:48:13,146 --> 00:48:14,481
He's like my guardian angel,
inspiration.
1178
00:48:14,548 --> 00:48:16,015
He's gonna look over
the interview for me.
1179
00:48:16,082 --> 00:48:17,383
- Oh, I think that's great.
- Thank you.
1180
00:48:17,451 --> 00:48:19,018
I was like, did someone
leave anything?
1181
00:48:19,085 --> 00:48:20,086
- Oh, no, what is your name?
- Brandy. Brandy.
1182
00:48:20,153 --> 00:48:21,187
- Brandy.
- Yeah, sorry.
1183
00:48:21,254 --> 00:48:22,656
- Nice to meet you.
- I'm Sal.
1184
00:48:22,723 --> 00:48:23,757
Immediately launch into
why the Earth is flat.
1185
00:48:24,991 --> 00:48:26,092
I like talking to people
1186
00:48:26,159 --> 00:48:27,428
about all different types
of things.
1187
00:48:27,494 --> 00:48:28,828
- Right.
- You know, for example, like,
1188
00:48:28,895 --> 00:48:30,897
no denying it for me that the,
1189
00:48:30,963 --> 00:48:32,666
you know, I believe
the Earth is flat.
1190
00:48:32,733 --> 00:48:34,568
So I like to talk about that.
1191
00:48:34,635 --> 00:48:35,835
Okay. Great.
1192
00:48:37,538 --> 00:48:39,138
How do you feel
about the shape of the Earth?
1193
00:48:39,205 --> 00:48:42,208
What is your opinion
on the shape of the Earth?
1194
00:48:42,275 --> 00:48:43,876
- Um...
- There's the look.
1195
00:48:43,943 --> 00:48:47,781
I mean, I'm pretty literal,
so I'm gonna go with round.
1196
00:48:47,847 --> 00:48:49,248
Yeah, most people
think it's round.
1197
00:48:49,315 --> 00:48:51,217
- Yeah.
- But they'd be wrong.
1198
00:48:53,353 --> 00:48:54,954
They told me to bring
a recommendation,
1199
00:48:55,021 --> 00:48:56,523
- so I brought one.
- They said to bring a rec...
1200
00:48:56,590 --> 00:48:59,793
A recommendation too, and
I also have a recommendation.
1201
00:48:59,859 --> 00:49:01,361
Sal, pull out the iPad there.
1202
00:49:01,428 --> 00:49:02,895
Uh, so here.
1203
00:49:05,898 --> 00:49:07,434
It's Sal's mom, Adele.
1204
00:49:09,035 --> 00:49:12,271
Please hire him.
He'd be a good employee.
1205
00:49:12,338 --> 00:49:14,874
He doesn't steal.
He's a good boy.
1206
00:49:14,941 --> 00:49:17,210
He pays me to clean his house,
1207
00:49:17,276 --> 00:49:18,878
so please, please,
please hire him
1208
00:49:18,945 --> 00:49:20,681
so he can keep paying me.
1209
00:49:22,348 --> 00:49:24,618
Oh, my God.
That's awesome.
1210
00:49:25,786 --> 00:49:27,688
- You good?
- Ah, hell, nah!
1211
00:49:27,755 --> 00:49:30,724
Instead of "Oh, hell, no,"
do the singing version of it.
1212
00:49:30,791 --> 00:49:31,924
♪ Hell, no ♪
1213
00:49:31,991 --> 00:49:34,293
♪ To the no, no, no ♪
1214
00:49:35,962 --> 00:49:38,965
- I'm so sorry.
- It's okay.
1215
00:49:39,031 --> 00:49:40,933
- What are you writing?
- What, what are you...
1216
00:49:41,000 --> 00:49:42,135
What are you writing?
1217
00:49:44,003 --> 00:49:45,606
- My notes.
- Oh, great. Perfect.
1218
00:49:48,074 --> 00:49:49,342
Take notes.
1219
00:49:49,409 --> 00:49:51,344
Yeah, Sal,
take notes on her.
1220
00:49:57,083 --> 00:49:59,986
Sal, just go, "Are there
one T or two in 'pretty'?"
1221
00:50:02,689 --> 00:50:04,323
Ah, done!
1222
00:50:04,390 --> 00:50:07,561
- Done, boys.
- Well done.
1223
00:50:08,995 --> 00:50:11,498
Okay, so this is my outfit.
1224
00:50:11,565 --> 00:50:14,768
Yeah, Joey in a breakaway
basketball warmup suit.
1225
00:50:14,835 --> 00:50:16,068
So as soon as the person
comes in,
1226
00:50:16,135 --> 00:50:18,137
you just get ready
for game time.
1227
00:50:20,306 --> 00:50:21,809
- Hey, how are you?
- Good. How are you?
1228
00:50:21,875 --> 00:50:23,276
- Big hug.
- Nice to see you.
1229
00:50:23,342 --> 00:50:25,144
- Emily. Nice to meet you.
- It's nice to meet you.
1230
00:50:25,211 --> 00:50:27,313
- Yeah, I'm ready to do this.
- Oh, here you go.
1231
00:50:27,380 --> 00:50:29,516
- That's amazing.
- Right?
1232
00:50:29,583 --> 00:50:30,617
That is awesome.
1233
00:50:32,453 --> 00:50:33,953
So nice to meet you.
I'm Emily.
1234
00:50:34,020 --> 00:50:35,388
I'm the building
security manager.
1235
00:50:35,456 --> 00:50:36,890
- Building security manager?
- Yes, sir, so...
1236
00:50:36,956 --> 00:50:37,891
And what was your name again?
I'm sorry.
1237
00:50:37,957 --> 00:50:39,593
Emily. Yes, sir.
1238
00:50:39,660 --> 00:50:41,662
I'm gonna let you get started
other than that amazing intro.
1239
00:50:41,728 --> 00:50:43,329
- Oh, thank you.
- Joe, where are you from?
1240
00:50:43,396 --> 00:50:44,698
Tell me a little bit
about yourself.
1241
00:50:44,765 --> 00:50:45,933
Nah, nah.
1242
00:50:45,998 --> 00:50:48,000
Nah, I didn't want to...
1243
00:50:48,067 --> 00:50:49,368
I didn't really want
to get into that.
1244
00:50:51,137 --> 00:50:52,940
What's that?
Which part.
1245
00:50:53,005 --> 00:50:55,141
My past.
My shadowy past.
1246
00:50:55,208 --> 00:50:57,511
My shadowy past.
I didn't really want to start...
1247
00:50:59,278 --> 00:51:00,848
Keep saying "off the record."
1248
00:51:00,914 --> 00:51:02,248
- Off the record...
- Mmm-hmm.
1249
00:51:02,315 --> 00:51:04,485
I negotiated prices
for, like, bulk supplies.
1250
00:51:04,551 --> 00:51:06,118
- Mmm-hmm.
- I would let them in
1251
00:51:06,185 --> 00:51:07,654
on the, to the side.
1252
00:51:07,721 --> 00:51:09,523
Joe, she's writing this down.
It's off the record.
1253
00:51:09,590 --> 00:51:11,290
Yeah,
but this is all off the...
1254
00:51:11,357 --> 00:51:12,960
- This is all off the record.
- No, no, you're fine.
1255
00:51:13,025 --> 00:51:14,093
I'm just talking about your
extension of knowledge with...
1256
00:51:14,160 --> 00:51:15,529
Got it, got it.
1257
00:51:15,596 --> 00:51:16,964
Um, what else can I tell you
off the record?
1258
00:51:17,029 --> 00:51:18,765
Joe, have a roving finger.
1259
00:51:18,832 --> 00:51:20,667
There was one time
when a whole crew was in here,
1260
00:51:20,734 --> 00:51:22,469
and they had to actually be on
the other side of the campus,
1261
00:51:22,536 --> 00:51:24,438
but the middle was closed,
so I couldn't get them through.
1262
00:51:24,505 --> 00:51:26,005
We had to actually
go around the whole thing.
1263
00:51:26,072 --> 00:51:27,240
- But off the record.
- Off the record, Monica.
1264
00:51:27,306 --> 00:51:28,140
Off the record,
we went through
1265
00:51:28,207 --> 00:51:29,443
the closed road, Monica.
1266
00:51:29,510 --> 00:51:31,077
Here comes
the moving finger.
1267
00:51:31,143 --> 00:51:32,311
And, you know, there was
a lot of teams up here,
1268
00:51:32,378 --> 00:51:33,447
and then
we brought it down south.
1269
00:51:33,514 --> 00:51:35,181
You know,
you connect everybody,
1270
00:51:35,248 --> 00:51:37,183
and they all have their
own conferences and stuff,
1271
00:51:37,250 --> 00:51:38,852
but, uh, I have stopped...
1272
00:51:38,919 --> 00:51:41,220
Excuse yourself for one quick
moment to go to the bathroom
1273
00:51:41,287 --> 00:51:43,089
and then go downstairs
and play basketball.
1274
00:51:43,155 --> 00:51:45,391
Um, I need to use
the restroom real quick.
1275
00:51:45,459 --> 00:51:46,827
- I'm sorry.
- Yeah, sure, no worries.
1276
00:51:46,894 --> 00:51:48,562
- I'll be right back.
- Yeah.
1277
00:51:49,563 --> 00:51:50,664
I'll be right back.
I'm sorry.
1278
00:51:50,731 --> 00:51:52,331
- Yeah, okay.
- Thanks.
1279
00:51:53,800 --> 00:51:56,470
Look at her face!
1280
00:52:02,074 --> 00:52:04,210
- This is gonna be amazing.
- Her face is...
1281
00:52:16,222 --> 00:52:17,457
Almost.
1282
00:52:17,524 --> 00:52:19,760
Joey, uh, security
really sucks around here.
1283
00:52:21,495 --> 00:52:23,530
- You good?
- Yeah, security really sucks.
1284
00:52:23,597 --> 00:52:25,632
I was able just to go down
there and shoot hoops.
1285
00:52:32,204 --> 00:52:34,173
- Yeah.
- So security's an issue.
1286
00:52:34,708 --> 00:52:35,609
Yeah.
1287
00:52:35,676 --> 00:52:37,844
Security's an issue.
1288
00:52:37,911 --> 00:52:40,781
All right, well, do you have
any further questions for me?
1289
00:52:40,847 --> 00:52:43,349
Tell her you'll be in touch
and she did great.
1290
00:52:43,416 --> 00:52:44,585
And, uh, that's it.
Yeah, thank you so much.
1291
00:52:44,651 --> 00:52:47,320
You did great.
We'll be in touch.
1292
00:52:47,386 --> 00:52:48,722
I'll get Jakim to, uh...
1293
00:52:48,789 --> 00:52:51,157
Hey, appreciate it.
Yeah, we'll let you know.
1294
00:52:52,526 --> 00:52:53,994
Possibly.
Maybe we'll hire her.
1295
00:52:55,862 --> 00:52:56,997
Maybe we'll hire her.
1296
00:52:57,064 --> 00:52:57,931
I'm not sure
if we'll hire her.
1297
00:53:04,170 --> 00:53:05,672
- A left right here?
- Go.
1298
00:53:05,739 --> 00:53:07,674
Yeah, baby, yeah!
1299
00:53:07,741 --> 00:53:10,142
Disgusting loading dock.
Nice, guys.
1300
00:53:14,481 --> 00:53:16,450
Now do you want to tell me
why we're here?
1301
00:53:16,516 --> 00:53:17,818
We're just gonna pop into
1302
00:53:17,884 --> 00:53:19,285
this social media convention
real quick.
1303
00:53:19,352 --> 00:53:21,420
- Uh-huh.
- Here's your credentials.
1304
00:53:21,488 --> 00:53:23,023
We're having fun with you today
at your expense.
1305
00:53:23,090 --> 00:53:25,492
Hey, bud, uh, you're, uh...
You're on in ten minutes.
1306
00:53:26,793 --> 00:53:28,895
You're terrible
at social networking, so...
1307
00:53:32,799 --> 00:53:33,900
Give it up one more time
1308
00:53:33,967 --> 00:53:35,636
for your When Brands
Take a Stand panel.
1309
00:53:38,038 --> 00:53:39,873
So we are at
the Social Shake-Up,
1310
00:53:39,940 --> 00:53:43,309
which is a tremendous
social media conference here,
1311
00:53:43,376 --> 00:53:45,646
and Q is about to go up
and give a presentation.
1312
00:53:45,712 --> 00:53:47,279
- Yeah.
- We wrote the presentation.
1313
00:53:47,346 --> 00:53:49,215
He's never seen a single
one of these slides.
1314
00:53:49,281 --> 00:53:50,651
There's 600 people here,
1315
00:53:50,717 --> 00:53:52,619
which is a little more
than we usually have.
1316
00:53:52,686 --> 00:53:53,854
A little more?
1317
00:53:53,920 --> 00:53:57,658
We do have a last-minute
addition to the roster.
1318
00:53:57,724 --> 00:54:00,427
We have a new speaker
coming up.
1319
00:54:00,494 --> 00:54:02,328
We have been trying
to do this for years.
1320
00:54:02,395 --> 00:54:05,565
Please welcome to the stage
Peter Foaks.
1321
00:54:07,100 --> 00:54:08,200
Peter Foaks.
1322
00:54:12,973 --> 00:54:14,373
Good morning, everybody.
1323
00:54:14,441 --> 00:54:16,275
Very excited to be here.
Thank you for having me.
1324
00:54:16,342 --> 00:54:17,544
My name is Peter Foaks.
1325
00:54:17,611 --> 00:54:19,112
They brought me here
'cause I'm...
1326
00:54:19,211 --> 00:54:21,548
really been doing well
as a social media influencer,
1327
00:54:21,615 --> 00:54:24,316
so why don't we get started.
1328
00:54:24,383 --> 00:54:27,253
How to Become
a Social Media Influencer,
1329
00:54:27,319 --> 00:54:30,289
or as my dad calls it,
"not have a real job."
1330
00:54:32,191 --> 00:54:34,528
So here we go.
1331
00:54:34,594 --> 00:54:36,763
His world after this
is gonna change.
1332
00:54:36,830 --> 00:54:39,032
We may not be friends
after this moment.
1333
00:54:39,099 --> 00:54:40,634
I recently interviewed
1334
00:54:40,701 --> 00:54:42,536
social media influencer
Franz Goldberg.
1335
00:54:42,602 --> 00:54:44,671
Do you guys know who that is?
1336
00:54:44,738 --> 00:54:46,540
Ah, you're gonna love this.
Okay.
1337
00:54:46,606 --> 00:54:48,274
Hi, my name
is Franz Goldberg,
1338
00:54:48,340 --> 00:54:50,610
and I'm what you would call
a social media influencer.
1339
00:54:50,677 --> 00:54:52,779
My major platform is YouTube.
1340
00:54:52,846 --> 00:54:54,581
Advertisers want to...
1341
00:54:54,648 --> 00:54:56,883
...and I can provide them...
1342
00:54:56,950 --> 00:54:59,019
It's interrupting.
1343
00:55:02,254 --> 00:55:04,124
Did somebody call a plumber?
1344
00:55:04,191 --> 00:55:07,259
Yes.
I need my pipes cleaned.
1345
00:55:10,564 --> 00:55:12,298
That's Q's parents!
1346
00:55:12,364 --> 00:55:13,767
That's Q's real parents.
1347
00:55:13,834 --> 00:55:17,104
- I can help with that.
- Oh, goody.
1348
00:55:17,170 --> 00:55:18,138
Come this way.
1349
00:55:18,205 --> 00:55:19,238
Oh, yeah.
1350
00:55:19,305 --> 00:55:21,007
Good pipes.
Oh.
1351
00:55:21,074 --> 00:55:23,009
Oh, yes.
1352
00:55:23,076 --> 00:55:25,411
...place them
at the end of my video.
1353
00:55:25,479 --> 00:55:27,781
I like to place them inside...
1354
00:55:34,054 --> 00:55:37,090
I must have recorded
over an old tape on that one.
1355
00:55:40,227 --> 00:55:41,795
Also, um...
1356
00:55:41,862 --> 00:55:44,965
you probably shouldn't use
tapes in the modern era,
1357
00:55:45,031 --> 00:55:47,167
'cause of accidents like that.
1358
00:55:47,234 --> 00:55:49,503
You know, digital...
digital...
1359
00:55:49,569 --> 00:55:51,772
I would say digital
is the way to go.
1360
00:55:51,838 --> 00:55:54,141
He can't even speak.
1361
00:55:54,207 --> 00:55:56,375
His mind is blown.
1362
00:55:56,443 --> 00:56:00,781
Okay, well, look,
identify the major brands
1363
00:56:02,048 --> 00:56:03,750
that fit with your brands.
1364
00:56:03,817 --> 00:56:06,453
You know, stay on brand
is basically what I'm saying.
1365
00:56:06,520 --> 00:56:08,655
Uh, oh, no.
1366
00:56:10,157 --> 00:56:12,692
Oh, I hope this one doesn't
get interrupted, buddy.
1367
00:56:12,759 --> 00:56:14,895
Well, why don't
we give a listen
1368
00:56:14,961 --> 00:56:17,998
to what Franz Goldberg
has to say about brands.
1369
00:56:18,064 --> 00:56:19,466
Oh.
1370
00:56:19,533 --> 00:56:20,834
You think they would have
just brought Franz here,
1371
00:56:20,901 --> 00:56:23,470
but no, we got tape.
1372
00:56:23,537 --> 00:56:25,172
My audience likes
that I'm real.
1373
00:56:25,238 --> 00:56:27,741
- They don't want to be fed...
- It's just gonna go right...
1374
00:56:27,808 --> 00:56:30,110
Oh, this is funny.
There... There's Dad.
1375
00:56:31,310 --> 00:56:33,747
Well, hello there.
1376
00:56:33,814 --> 00:56:36,216
May I help you?
1377
00:56:36,283 --> 00:56:38,185
I'm here to plant some seed.
1378
00:56:39,820 --> 00:56:42,388
He's a gardener.
You can tell by his hat.
1379
00:56:42,455 --> 00:56:44,958
Let me show you
where you can plant it.
1380
00:56:45,025 --> 00:56:47,127
Yes, come on.
1381
00:56:47,194 --> 00:56:48,929
That bush needs trimming.
1382
00:56:52,699 --> 00:56:54,434
My dad had
a lot of side jobs.
1383
00:56:54,501 --> 00:56:57,369
- So did your mom.
- So did your mom, apparently.
1384
00:56:58,337 --> 00:57:00,040
So did my mom, apparently.
1385
00:57:02,576 --> 00:57:04,010
Are there any questions?
1386
00:57:05,779 --> 00:57:06,980
No?
No questions.
1387
00:57:07,047 --> 00:57:08,481
I-I didn't think so.
1388
00:57:08,548 --> 00:57:10,550
All right, well, I have
a few questions myself.
1389
00:57:12,886 --> 00:57:14,187
- Thank you.
- Well done, buddy.
1390
00:57:14,254 --> 00:57:15,589
Well done.
1391
00:57:15,655 --> 00:57:17,557
- Come on, come on, come on.
- Bring it in.
1392
00:57:17,624 --> 00:57:20,460
Hey, Brian.
Dad's on his way.
1393
00:57:20,527 --> 00:57:22,596
- How did it go?
- How did it go?
1394
00:57:22,662 --> 00:57:24,231
- Brian.
- Yeah.
1395
00:57:24,297 --> 00:57:26,833
I didn't know who was
gonna be more embarrassed.
1396
00:57:26,900 --> 00:57:28,501
- You or us.
- Well, I'll tell you what.
1397
00:57:28,568 --> 00:57:30,136
It didn't look like
you guys were embarrassed.
1398
00:57:30,203 --> 00:57:32,105
Hey, Mr. and Mrs. Quinn,
I'll be by next week
1399
00:57:32,172 --> 00:57:33,206
to film the sequel, okay?
1400
00:57:33,273 --> 00:57:34,774
All right, get out of here.
1401
00:57:34,841 --> 00:57:37,376
Don't answer the phone
when they call anymore, okay?
1402
00:57:37,444 --> 00:57:38,712
All right, love you, Ma.
I love you, Dad.
1403
00:57:38,778 --> 00:57:40,080
I'll talk to you guys
in a little bit.
1404
00:57:46,586 --> 00:57:49,222
All right, here it is.
1405
00:57:49,289 --> 00:57:50,957
Oh, yeah.
1406
00:57:51,024 --> 00:57:52,926
- There's an event going on.
- What is it?
1407
00:57:52,993 --> 00:57:55,095
- Right now, what is it?
- Okay.
1408
00:57:55,161 --> 00:57:57,731
- Sally, one of your closest friends is in town tonight.
- Yeah.
1409
00:57:57,797 --> 00:57:59,165
Jaden Smith has
a movie premiere.
1410
00:57:59,232 --> 00:58:00,967
Stop it.
1411
00:58:01,034 --> 00:58:02,903
All right, Sal, so now
you're Jaden's number one fan,
1412
00:58:02,969 --> 00:58:04,504
and all you gotta do
is just walk around
1413
00:58:04,571 --> 00:58:05,639
and let people know it.
1414
00:58:05,705 --> 00:58:07,974
All right, where's our boy?
1415
00:58:08,041 --> 00:58:09,209
I feel like an idiot.
1416
00:58:09,276 --> 00:58:11,478
Let me see
that tattoo, buddy.
1417
00:58:11,544 --> 00:58:12,913
Hi, can I take a picture
of your tattoo?
1418
00:58:12,979 --> 00:58:14,781
- Yeah, yeah, sure, sure.
- Nice shorts.
1419
00:58:14,848 --> 00:58:17,384
- I'm just his number one fan.
- Honestly, I see it.
1420
00:58:17,450 --> 00:58:19,019
I really see it.
1421
00:58:19,085 --> 00:58:21,121
Guys, now do you see
what I had envisioned
1422
00:58:21,187 --> 00:58:22,656
so many seasons ago?
1423
00:58:22,722 --> 00:58:23,890
All right, Sal, you're up.
1424
00:58:23,957 --> 00:58:25,191
Three, two, one.
1425
00:58:31,331 --> 00:58:32,499
Look!
1426
00:58:32,565 --> 00:58:34,334
Jaden Smith, number one fan.
1427
00:58:34,401 --> 00:58:36,269
I'm his number one fan.
1428
00:58:36,336 --> 00:58:38,204
Act like
his number one fan, buddy!
1429
00:58:38,271 --> 00:58:39,506
I'm his number one fan.
1430
00:58:39,572 --> 00:58:40,740
You think
you're Jaden's number one fan?
1431
00:58:40,807 --> 00:58:42,208
- Yeah, I do.
- You got this shirt?
1432
00:58:42,275 --> 00:58:43,677
- I wish I had the shirt.
- You got the tat, though?
1433
00:58:43,743 --> 00:58:45,145
- Let's do, oh.
- Come on.
1434
00:58:47,047 --> 00:58:49,482
- You know Jaden's blood type?
- There you go.
1435
00:58:49,549 --> 00:58:51,384
- Wrong!
- What is it?
1436
00:58:51,451 --> 00:58:52,686
- A-negative.
- Yeah, right.
1437
00:58:52,752 --> 00:58:54,020
Yeah, it is.
1438
00:58:54,087 --> 00:58:56,323
Sal, I need a little bit
more crazy eyes.
1439
00:58:58,925 --> 00:59:00,760
- Has anybody seen him?
- Can I see your tattoo?
1440
00:59:00,827 --> 00:59:02,262
I gotta meet him.
I gotta meet him.
1441
00:59:02,329 --> 00:59:03,830
Yo, pal, do you know
when the Q&A is with Jaden?
1442
00:59:03,897 --> 00:59:05,398
Do you know when the Q&A is?
1443
00:59:06,800 --> 00:59:08,335
It's just wait and hold.
1444
00:59:08,401 --> 00:59:09,736
Wait and hold?
1445
00:59:09,803 --> 00:59:11,104
- Do you know where Jaden is?
- What?
1446
00:59:11,171 --> 00:59:12,605
- Do you know where Jaden is?
- I don't.
1447
00:59:12,672 --> 00:59:13,573
- I'm so sorry.
- You're no help to me.
1448
00:59:16,142 --> 00:59:19,179
Jaden's movie has now ended,
and there's a Q&A afterward.
1449
00:59:19,245 --> 00:59:21,281
- This is awesome.
- There he is.
1450
00:59:21,348 --> 00:59:23,650
There's Jaden.
1451
00:59:23,717 --> 00:59:26,419
Before we do that,
I just wanted to start off...
1452
00:59:26,486 --> 00:59:29,089
Um...
1453
00:59:29,155 --> 00:59:30,090
Hop up, Sal.
1454
00:59:31,459 --> 00:59:33,059
So I have
a million questions,
1455
00:59:33,126 --> 00:59:35,429
but do we have some questions
out here from the audience?
1456
00:59:35,495 --> 00:59:36,696
Come on, buddy.
Get into it.
1457
00:59:36,763 --> 00:59:38,466
- Oh! Oh!
- Do we have a really good one?
1458
00:59:38,531 --> 00:59:39,699
So we have a question
right over here.
1459
00:59:39,766 --> 00:59:41,868
Oh, yes!
Yes!
1460
00:59:42,402 --> 00:59:43,570
Whoo!
1461
00:59:45,772 --> 00:59:47,607
I'm just the number one
Jaden Smith fan.
1462
00:59:47,674 --> 00:59:50,110
I'm just Jaden's
number one fan.
1463
00:59:50,176 --> 00:59:51,111
Can we hug?
1464
00:59:51,177 --> 00:59:52,746
Why don't you just
come on up here?
1465
00:59:52,812 --> 00:59:53,980
Can I .really?
Oh, thank you guys so much!@
1466
00:59:54,047 --> 00:59:55,815
- Would you guys mind?
- Come on up!
1467
00:59:55,882 --> 00:59:57,384
- Thank you, thank you.
- What Sal doesn't know
1468
00:59:57,451 --> 00:59:59,352
is that Jaden is in cahoots
with us this whole time
1469
00:59:59,419 --> 01:00:01,422
- Yes.
- Oh, look at those shorts.
1470
01:00:01,489 --> 01:00:05,258
Wow, wow.
Come on over.
1471
01:00:05,325 --> 01:00:07,227
Come on over.
Wow.
1472
01:00:07,293 --> 01:00:08,995
Thanks for coming out.
1473
01:00:09,062 --> 01:00:10,964
Oh, cool.
This is very cool.
1474
01:00:11,031 --> 01:00:14,100
Thank you so much.
Ah, bam!
1475
01:00:14,167 --> 01:00:15,668
Wow.
1476
01:00:15,735 --> 01:00:17,604
Are you serious?
1477
01:00:17,670 --> 01:00:19,440
- That is...
- Oh, my God, ah!
1478
01:00:19,507 --> 01:00:21,341
- Are you serious?
- Ah!
1479
01:00:21,408 --> 01:00:22,942
Are you serious?
1480
01:00:23,009 --> 01:00:24,512
I got this a few years ago.
1481
01:00:24,577 --> 01:00:25,945
Been waiting to show it to you.
1482
01:00:26,012 --> 01:00:27,914
I just feel like
I look a lot different.
1483
01:00:27,981 --> 01:00:30,050
Maybe we could
get it, like, redone.
1484
01:00:30,116 --> 01:00:32,352
Sal, just say, "Well, I do
have this other thigh."
1485
01:00:32,419 --> 01:00:34,788
Revamped. Something.
1486
01:00:34,854 --> 01:00:35,755
- There you go, Sal.
- Just 'cause it's old.
1487
01:00:35,822 --> 01:00:37,157
It's just old.
1488
01:00:37,223 --> 01:00:40,093
You know, I feel like
if it was newer...
1489
01:00:40,994 --> 01:00:41,761
I...
1490
01:00:41,828 --> 01:00:43,329
I do have this other thigh.
1491
01:00:43,396 --> 01:00:44,931
I could get an updated one...
1492
01:00:47,468 --> 01:00:49,669
You need anything, buddy?
1493
01:00:50,870 --> 01:00:53,606
- I'm good, I guess.
- Not you.
1494
01:00:53,673 --> 01:00:55,675
Yes, I'm fine, Joe.
Thank you.
1495
01:00:58,144 --> 01:00:59,679
That's it,
I think we're done.
1496
01:00:59,746 --> 01:01:00,947
Yeah!
1497
01:01:01,014 --> 01:01:03,583
We did it!
We did it!
1498
01:01:03,650 --> 01:01:05,718
- Oh!
- Oh, I gotta see this!
1499
01:01:05,785 --> 01:01:06,753
Are you ready
to meet yourself?
1500
01:01:06,820 --> 01:01:09,490
- Hold on.
- Three, two, one!
1501
01:01:09,557 --> 01:01:12,859
Oh, my God!
1502
01:01:14,260 --> 01:01:15,429
Whoa!
1503
01:01:15,496 --> 01:01:17,197
That might be the best
tattoo I've ever seen.
1504
01:01:17,263 --> 01:01:19,365
This is definitely better
than the last one.
1505
01:01:21,000 --> 01:01:23,069
My guy.
My guy.
1506
01:01:23,136 --> 01:01:25,238
Jaden, we'll see you
in five years?
1507
01:01:25,305 --> 01:01:27,508
Oh, yeah.
1508
01:01:27,575 --> 01:01:29,008
Hopefully before then.
1509
01:01:41,754 --> 01:01:43,990
I know.
It's just like Ibiza.
1510
01:01:44,057 --> 01:01:45,291
Hey, bud.
What's up?
1511
01:01:47,327 --> 01:01:48,895
Is that the Molly?
1512
01:01:48,962 --> 01:01:50,830
It's not the Molly.
1513
01:01:50,897 --> 01:01:52,332
DJ, bring down the beat.
1514
01:01:53,700 --> 01:01:56,169
Uh, what is this shit?
1515
01:01:56,236 --> 01:01:57,337
What's that, bud?
1516
01:01:58,738 --> 01:02:00,940
Hey, hey, hey!
Here we go!
1517
01:02:01,007 --> 01:02:02,909
Now it's a party!
Later, Q.
1518
01:02:03,544 --> 01:02:04,878
Okay.
1519
01:02:04,944 --> 01:02:06,212
Yep, all right.
1520
01:02:06,279 --> 01:02:07,780
So that's what
he does at night, okay.
1521
01:02:34,608 --> 01:02:36,075
Good boy.
1522
01:02:36,142 --> 01:02:38,445
Did you get the toys I sent?
1523
01:02:39,312 --> 01:02:40,313
Okay.
1524
01:02:40,380 --> 01:02:41,981
Oh, oh, Benjamin?
1525
01:02:42,048 --> 01:02:44,851
Okay, don't,
don't hang up, don't hang up!
1526
01:02:47,488 --> 01:02:48,622
He hung up.
1527
01:02:48,688 --> 01:02:50,658
Well, Brian Quinn
misses his cats.
1528
01:02:50,723 --> 01:02:52,125
Your cats.
I miss my family.
1529
01:02:52,192 --> 01:02:53,760
You know my daughter McKayla?
1530
01:02:53,826 --> 01:02:54,961
She rode her bike
for the first time yesterday.
1531
01:02:55,028 --> 01:02:56,396
- Hmm.
- Wasn't there.
1532
01:02:58,932 --> 01:03:01,134
- Milana?
- Who's that?
1533
01:03:01,201 --> 01:03:03,637
Your daughter.
1534
01:03:03,703 --> 01:03:05,004
Her name's Milana.
1535
01:03:06,440 --> 01:03:07,941
Sweet Jesus.
How long have we been gone?
1536
01:03:08,007 --> 01:03:10,143
- Three days.
- What are we doing?
1537
01:03:10,210 --> 01:03:11,878
All right,
we're four grown men.
1538
01:03:11,945 --> 01:03:13,413
We're out here jacking around,
1539
01:03:13,480 --> 01:03:15,014
trying to fix a mistake
we made when we were kids.
1540
01:03:15,081 --> 01:03:17,217
- It's stupid.
- Yeah, you know what?
1541
01:03:17,283 --> 01:03:19,152
Maybe we didn't think
this one all the way through.
1542
01:03:19,219 --> 01:03:21,087
I've been getting
phone numbers, girls.
1543
01:03:21,154 --> 01:03:22,889
Local girls
that want to meet me.
1544
01:03:22,956 --> 01:03:23,856
But if you guys want to leave
and go home,
1545
01:03:23,923 --> 01:03:24,991
I'm ready to go now.
1546
01:03:25,058 --> 01:03:26,960
- Yeah, yeah, me too.
- I'll go.
1547
01:03:27,026 --> 01:03:28,361
Yeah, I gotta get back to
what's-her-face, come on.
1548
01:03:28,429 --> 01:03:30,531
- All right.
- Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
1549
01:03:30,598 --> 01:03:31,665
We're almost there.
1550
01:03:31,731 --> 01:03:33,534
Sal, come on.
Going home, bud.
1551
01:03:33,601 --> 01:03:34,535
- Come on, bud.
- No!
1552
01:03:36,002 --> 01:03:38,271
We're not going anywhere!
1553
01:03:38,338 --> 01:03:40,106
Sal, what are you doing?
1554
01:03:42,041 --> 01:03:43,577
We're gonna finish
what we started.
1555
01:03:43,644 --> 01:03:45,211
He's gone loco.
1556
01:03:45,278 --> 01:03:48,682
I didn't come here all this
way to turn around, to quit!
1557
01:03:48,748 --> 01:03:51,017
I'm not gonna go back home to
Staten Island so they can say,
1558
01:03:51,084 --> 01:03:53,454
"You know that great guy,
Sal Vulcano
1559
01:03:53,520 --> 01:03:56,089
and his friends that he has,
they turned around.
1560
01:03:56,155 --> 01:04:00,093
They went all the way down
to Georgia."
1561
01:04:01,428 --> 01:04:02,529
Not today, babies!
1562
01:04:05,164 --> 01:04:07,367
- Oh.
- I did it.
1563
01:04:09,035 --> 01:04:10,803
Shut the fuck up.
1564
01:04:10,870 --> 01:04:12,171
It's fine, all right?
We'll stay.
1565
01:04:12,238 --> 01:04:13,973
We'll keep going.
Whatever you need, buddy.
1566
01:04:14,040 --> 01:04:15,643
We were just tired,
got a little homesick.
1567
01:04:15,709 --> 01:04:17,444
Yeah.
Put the board down.
1568
01:04:19,145 --> 01:04:21,414
Okay, great, 'cause as long
as we come to an agreement,
1569
01:04:21,482 --> 01:04:22,849
'cause I just want
to see Abdul.
1570
01:04:22,915 --> 01:04:24,417
- Communicate.
- Thank you guys.
1571
01:04:24,485 --> 01:04:25,785
All you had to do is say
let's keep going, we'll go.
1572
01:04:25,852 --> 01:04:27,353
- I get emotional.
- We'll do it.
1573
01:04:27,420 --> 01:04:29,490
You weren't really gonna
hit us with that, were you?
1574
01:04:29,556 --> 01:04:30,724
For me, it's unclear.
1575
01:04:38,164 --> 01:04:40,534
I think this car breaks down
on the side of most roads,
1576
01:04:40,601 --> 01:04:42,068
people are gonna stop and help.
1577
01:04:42,135 --> 01:04:43,637
- I agree.
- Yeah, I think so.
1578
01:04:43,704 --> 01:04:45,238
I think they will
stop to help,
1579
01:04:45,305 --> 01:04:47,541
but the question is, how long
will they stick around?
1580
01:04:47,608 --> 01:04:50,477
- Until, until it gets weird.
- Until it gets weird.
1581
01:04:50,544 --> 01:04:52,378
How weird should we make it,
is the real question.
1582
01:04:52,446 --> 01:04:55,014
- Guys, did we just make plans?
- I think we did.
1583
01:04:55,081 --> 01:04:56,816
Pull over.
1584
01:04:56,883 --> 01:04:58,951
- We got some work to do.
- You got it.
1585
01:05:01,120 --> 01:05:02,922
Park it right here.
Let's do it.
1586
01:05:07,561 --> 01:05:09,329
- All right, here we go.
- Here we go.
1587
01:05:09,395 --> 01:05:11,030
Sal, you broke down,
unfortunately, buddy.
1588
01:05:11,097 --> 01:05:12,666
Your object is to get people
to stop you to help you.
1589
01:05:12,733 --> 01:05:15,068
Otherwise you're gonna be
standing down on the grass
1590
01:05:15,134 --> 01:05:17,438
next to a car
getting bit by mosquitoes.
1591
01:05:17,504 --> 01:05:19,939
All right, well,
the quickest way to do this
1592
01:05:20,006 --> 01:05:21,475
is to just
make them stop, right?
1593
01:05:21,542 --> 01:05:23,744
I'm proud of you, buddy.
You're taking some initiative.
1594
01:05:23,811 --> 01:05:25,311
Whoo!
1595
01:05:26,212 --> 01:05:28,881
She's, uh, she's dead.
1596
01:05:28,948 --> 01:05:30,416
Whoo.
1597
01:05:30,484 --> 01:05:33,152
She went down
a couple miles back.
1598
01:05:36,724 --> 01:05:38,191
Hey, how you doing, man?
1599
01:05:38,257 --> 01:05:40,993
It's two guys, and I think
they might want to kill me.
1600
01:05:41,060 --> 01:05:42,261
Here we go.
1601
01:05:42,328 --> 01:05:44,063
Can't do no harm, no foul.
Bill.
1602
01:05:44,130 --> 01:05:45,432
Hey, how you doing, Bill?
Sal.
1603
01:05:45,499 --> 01:05:47,100
Yeah, my name's Sal.
1604
01:05:47,166 --> 01:05:48,535
- What's your name?
- Mark.
1605
01:05:48,602 --> 01:05:50,002
Usually when something
goes wrong,
1606
01:05:50,069 --> 01:05:51,371
I just blast something
up the tailpipe.
1607
01:05:54,173 --> 01:05:55,341
Usually something goes wrong,
I just
1608
01:05:55,408 --> 01:05:56,844
blast something
up the tailpipe.
1609
01:05:56,909 --> 01:05:58,344
Up the tailpipe?
1610
01:05:58,411 --> 01:06:00,079
Well, I mean,
first rule of thumb, right?
1611
01:06:00,146 --> 01:06:01,381
You get broke down,
you gotta blast something
1612
01:06:01,448 --> 01:06:02,915
right up the tailpipe,
and I was gonna
1613
01:06:02,982 --> 01:06:04,183
blast something,
but I don't have nothing.
1614
01:06:04,250 --> 01:06:05,552
That's what I thought you did.
1615
01:06:05,619 --> 01:06:06,854
- No, no.
- No.
1616
01:06:09,222 --> 01:06:11,157
Guys, why isn't
this fixed yet?
1617
01:06:11,224 --> 01:06:13,761
Yeah, Sal...
1618
01:06:13,827 --> 01:06:15,261
I don't know,
I don't even...
1619
01:06:15,328 --> 01:06:16,597
I wish I knew more
about the thing.
1620
01:06:16,663 --> 01:06:18,364
Well, what's the issue?
It's, I mean...
1621
01:06:18,432 --> 01:06:19,700
I mean, you can't fix it
already or what's going on?
1622
01:06:19,767 --> 01:06:21,200
We don't know
what it's doing.
1623
01:06:21,267 --> 01:06:23,069
I mean, you know,
guys, you've been here
1624
01:06:23,136 --> 01:06:24,838
a couple minutes already, guys.
1625
01:06:24,904 --> 01:06:26,372
Tick-tock, Bill.
1626
01:06:26,440 --> 01:06:27,841
This is really nice of
you guys, 'cause, you know,
1627
01:06:27,907 --> 01:06:29,308
I never would've stopped
for you guys.
1628
01:06:31,845 --> 01:06:34,013
I mean, I gotta be honest,
you fellas are top-notch.
1629
01:06:34,080 --> 01:06:35,181
It's...
1630
01:06:35,248 --> 01:06:36,583
Sal, you gonna say
that line or no?
1631
01:06:36,650 --> 01:06:38,418
Here we go, oh.
1632
01:06:38,485 --> 01:06:40,654
I wouldn't have stopped for you
guys, so that's really nice.
1633
01:06:42,021 --> 01:06:43,424
There wouldn't be no use
to stopping.
1634
01:06:43,490 --> 01:06:45,224
Yeah, right, right,
right, right, right.
1635
01:06:45,291 --> 01:06:47,428
The only thing I could suggest
if you guys were stuck,
1636
01:06:47,494 --> 01:06:49,430
you could blast something
up your tailpipe, though.
1637
01:06:50,631 --> 01:06:52,331
All right, bud,
head around to the trunk.
1638
01:06:52,398 --> 01:06:54,233
We've hidden something
in there for him.
1639
01:06:54,300 --> 01:06:56,335
I think I got something here.
Let me see.
1640
01:07:02,241 --> 01:07:03,744
What the hell is that?
1641
01:07:03,811 --> 01:07:05,311
Okay.
1642
01:07:09,248 --> 01:07:10,818
Yeah, there's no string...
1643
01:07:10,884 --> 01:07:12,351
So, Sal, in the backseat,
1644
01:07:12,418 --> 01:07:13,487
we put a check
for good Samaritans.
1645
01:07:13,554 --> 01:07:15,955
This is, guys...
Mark, Bill...
1646
01:07:16,022 --> 01:07:17,491
This is the check
1647
01:07:18,659 --> 01:07:21,695
for good Samaritans
who stopped
1648
01:07:21,762 --> 01:07:23,296
and pulled over to help me.
1649
01:07:23,362 --> 01:07:25,331
This is a check for 5...
1650
01:07:25,398 --> 01:07:27,668
Take that, Mark, go ahead.
1651
01:07:29,035 --> 01:07:30,269
Hello.
1652
01:07:30,336 --> 01:07:32,739
Mark's still rocking a flip.
1653
01:07:32,806 --> 01:07:35,509
You took the call right in the
middle of the check ceremony.
1654
01:07:35,576 --> 01:07:37,109
So anyway, guys, this is
1655
01:07:37,176 --> 01:07:38,712
from the Staten Island
Credit Union,
1656
01:07:38,779 --> 01:07:40,346
this is a Good Samaritan check
1657
01:07:40,413 --> 01:07:41,882
for $5,000
1658
01:07:41,949 --> 01:07:43,316
for helping people in need.
1659
01:07:43,382 --> 01:07:44,618
- Ain't legal tender.
- Try to rip it.
1660
01:07:44,685 --> 01:07:46,185
You don't want it?
'Cause I'll...
1661
01:07:46,252 --> 01:07:48,254
Yeah, yeah, don't tear that,
don't tear that.
1662
01:07:48,321 --> 01:07:50,122
Oh.
1663
01:07:50,189 --> 01:07:51,658
Thank you.
Bill, that's for you, man.
1664
01:07:55,963 --> 01:07:57,263
Murr,
you're walking funny.
1665
01:07:57,330 --> 01:07:58,665
Yeah, no kidding
I'm walking funny, Joe.
1666
01:07:58,732 --> 01:08:00,132
Is it because of that thong
we put on you?
1667
01:08:00,199 --> 01:08:01,400
What thong?
This thong?
1668
01:08:01,468 --> 01:08:03,236
There it is.
1669
01:08:03,904 --> 01:08:05,271
Dude, thank you.
1670
01:08:05,338 --> 01:08:06,974
What's your name, bud?
What is it? I'm sorry.
1671
01:08:07,039 --> 01:08:08,241
- Dennis.
- Dennis, I'm James.
1672
01:08:08,307 --> 01:08:09,576
I appreciate
you stopping, Denise.
1673
01:08:09,643 --> 01:08:11,410
I appreciate you stopping...
1674
01:08:13,447 --> 01:08:15,047
I appreciate you
stopping, Denise.
1675
01:08:15,114 --> 01:08:16,650
I don't know
the first thing.
1676
01:08:16,717 --> 01:08:18,384
Come around here, I'll show you
what I noticed before.
1677
01:08:18,452 --> 01:08:20,888
I noticed that before it was
smoking primarily from
1678
01:08:20,954 --> 01:08:22,021
from this area here.
1679
01:08:22,088 --> 01:08:23,189
I ain't got time
for this, man.
1680
01:08:23,256 --> 01:08:24,758
- I don't even know.
- No?
1681
01:08:28,462 --> 01:08:29,997
- Murr loses again.
- Son of a bitch.
1682
01:08:30,062 --> 01:08:31,330
Did I just lose?
1683
01:08:31,397 --> 01:08:32,900
Did I just lose?
A thong was his weakness?
1684
01:08:32,966 --> 01:08:35,101
- Murr, you gotta go again.
- Yeah.
1685
01:08:35,167 --> 01:08:37,370
What, is this like
double or nothing?
1686
01:08:37,437 --> 01:08:39,506
Thank you so much, man.
I appreciate it.
1687
01:08:39,573 --> 01:08:41,173
- James. Nice to meet you, bud.
- Good to meet you, man.
1688
01:08:41,240 --> 01:08:42,609
Here's what happened,
so I'm driving before.
1689
01:08:42,676 --> 01:08:44,912
But I don't even know
what I'm looking at, bro.
1690
01:08:44,978 --> 01:08:46,345
Want to have a laugh?
1691
01:08:46,412 --> 01:08:48,147
Fake strangle me
when the next car pulls by.
1692
01:08:48,214 --> 01:08:49,315
You want to have
a little fun? Watch.
1693
01:08:49,382 --> 01:08:51,018
Okay, okay, okay, go.
1694
01:08:51,083 --> 01:08:52,819
When this guy pulls by, pretend
you're strangling me, okay?
1695
01:08:52,886 --> 01:08:54,320
Gonna do it.
1696
01:08:54,387 --> 01:08:56,055
Flail your arms.
Flail your arms!
1697
01:08:56,122 --> 01:08:58,458
- Flail, your arms.
- No, keep going. Don't stop now!
1698
01:09:03,530 --> 01:09:05,599
Dude!
1699
01:09:07,099 --> 01:09:08,167
Nailed it.
1700
01:09:08,234 --> 01:09:10,269
Thanks, bud.
That was awesome.
1701
01:09:10,336 --> 01:09:12,138
You know what, dude, I'm so
glad that you pulled over.
1702
01:09:12,204 --> 01:09:13,640
I'm so glad you pulled over.
1703
01:09:13,707 --> 01:09:15,308
I was afraid it was
gonna be a woman and then...
1704
01:09:15,374 --> 01:09:16,810
I was afraid...
Nope, nope.
1705
01:09:18,277 --> 01:09:19,580
Nope, nope, nope.
1706
01:09:22,348 --> 01:09:24,250
Car's a real lemon
right now, buddy.
1707
01:09:24,317 --> 01:09:26,520
There you go.
1708
01:09:26,587 --> 01:09:28,522
Oh, oh.
1709
01:09:28,589 --> 01:09:29,556
Oh, thank God.
1710
01:09:29,623 --> 01:09:31,090
Jump up and down
you're so excited.
1711
01:09:31,157 --> 01:09:34,293
- Yeah, yeah.
- Oh, yay.
1712
01:09:34,360 --> 01:09:35,796
Clap, clap, clap.
1713
01:09:35,862 --> 01:09:37,598
Yeah, yeah.
1714
01:09:37,664 --> 01:09:39,466
Turn around, do it
in circles, do it in circles.
1715
01:09:39,533 --> 01:09:42,368
I have been waiting for
somebody to pull over so long.
1716
01:09:42,436 --> 01:09:44,504
Oh, yes!
1717
01:09:46,339 --> 01:09:47,975
Dude, thank you so much.
1718
01:09:48,041 --> 01:09:49,910
Yay.
I love this car, man.
1719
01:09:49,977 --> 01:09:52,446
I've had this car for so long,
and then I was riding,
1720
01:09:52,512 --> 01:09:54,081
I hit a bump,
and then it just...
1721
01:09:54,180 --> 01:09:55,214
It just died.
It won't go again.
1722
01:09:55,281 --> 01:09:56,617
You believe that?
1723
01:09:56,683 --> 01:09:58,384
The old wagon's
down for the count.
1724
01:09:58,452 --> 01:09:59,653
It's just dead, man.
1725
01:09:59,720 --> 01:10:00,887
The wagon's
down for the count.
1726
01:10:00,954 --> 01:10:03,056
Yeah.
1727
01:10:03,122 --> 01:10:04,925
I lost my virginity
in this car.
1728
01:10:04,992 --> 01:10:06,493
So did my older brother.
1729
01:10:06,560 --> 01:10:08,061
- So did my older brother.
- My younger brother.
1730
01:10:08,127 --> 01:10:09,830
- So did my younger brother.
- My sister did.
1731
01:10:09,896 --> 01:10:11,598
My sis,
my sister did.
1732
01:10:11,665 --> 01:10:13,299
It was a hell of a night.
1733
01:10:13,366 --> 01:10:14,568
It was a hell of a night.
1734
01:10:14,635 --> 01:10:16,402
It was,
1735
01:10:16,470 --> 01:10:17,403
it was a hell of a night.
1736
01:10:17,471 --> 01:10:19,706
- Yeah?
- Yeah. Yeah.
1737
01:10:19,773 --> 01:10:21,307
You know what I got
in the trunk?
1738
01:10:21,374 --> 01:10:22,609
Yeah, show him
what you have in the trunk.
1739
01:10:24,911 --> 01:10:27,213
Yeah, that's about
a hundred pounds of cocaine,
1740
01:10:27,279 --> 01:10:28,849
and bags full of cash.
1741
01:10:28,915 --> 01:10:33,687
What we have here is about
a hundred pounds of cocaine...
1742
01:10:33,754 --> 01:10:35,088
You're not DEA, are you?
1743
01:10:35,154 --> 01:10:36,757
You don't work
for the fuzz, do you?
1744
01:10:38,792 --> 01:10:39,993
I'll tell you what, bro.
1745
01:10:40,060 --> 01:10:41,528
- You didn't see nothing.
- Put that back in the car.
1746
01:10:41,595 --> 01:10:42,562
Hurry up.
Here comes a bus.
1747
01:10:42,629 --> 01:10:44,698
This is... A bus?
Oh, shit.
1748
01:10:45,966 --> 01:10:48,468
Do you think anybody saw me?
1749
01:10:48,535 --> 01:10:50,037
Do you think they saw my face?
1750
01:10:53,172 --> 01:10:55,207
You never saw me!
1751
01:11:03,382 --> 01:11:07,219
Guys, this is,
this is a whole thing.
1752
01:11:07,286 --> 01:11:10,157
Joe, for no reason,
stop traffic
1753
01:11:10,222 --> 01:11:11,825
and let cars go
indiscriminately.
1754
01:11:11,892 --> 01:11:13,527
Let's stop a car.
1755
01:11:13,593 --> 01:11:15,261
He's gonna walk
right into the road.
1756
01:11:16,730 --> 01:11:19,331
Okay, take it easy.
I got 17 cars.
1757
01:11:21,034 --> 01:11:23,103
You're in.
1758
01:11:23,170 --> 01:11:24,303
Good.
1759
01:11:24,370 --> 01:11:26,238
Good, good, good.
1760
01:11:26,305 --> 01:11:28,709
Come on, come on.
1761
01:11:30,477 --> 01:11:31,878
Come on, come on, stop.
1762
01:11:36,315 --> 01:11:37,651
There you go.
1763
01:11:37,718 --> 01:11:39,218
Joe, both arms, windmill,
opposite directions.
1764
01:11:39,285 --> 01:11:42,622
There you go.
There you go.
1765
01:11:42,689 --> 01:11:44,624
Guys, nobody will stop
to help me.
1766
01:11:44,691 --> 01:11:46,693
What are you doing?
1767
01:11:46,760 --> 01:11:48,595
Okay, this guy
just pulled over.
1768
01:11:52,199 --> 01:11:53,767
- Hi, I'm Joe.
- Mitch.
1769
01:11:53,834 --> 01:11:55,669
Mitch, good to see you, pal.
So the problem was I was...
1770
01:11:55,736 --> 01:11:57,369
I was driving down this road.
1771
01:11:57,437 --> 01:11:58,705
Keep him walking
around the whole car.
1772
01:11:58,772 --> 01:12:00,640
And then when I saw it,
I hit a bump.
1773
01:12:00,707 --> 01:12:02,374
And then I heard
a da-dunk-dunk-dunk.
1774
01:12:02,442 --> 01:12:04,211
Come on.
And a hit a buh-bump-bump.
1775
01:12:04,276 --> 01:12:06,780
And then when I hit it,
I heard a jiggle-jiggle here.
1776
01:12:06,847 --> 01:12:07,814
There was a jiggle.
1777
01:12:07,881 --> 01:12:09,049
Take him around
the whole car.
1778
01:12:09,116 --> 01:12:10,382
Then on the other side here...
1779
01:12:10,450 --> 01:12:12,119
Joe, I need,
I need two full rotations.
1780
01:12:12,185 --> 01:12:13,553
This is here,
this is one car.
1781
01:12:13,620 --> 01:12:15,122
- This is one.
- Come on, take a walk with me.
1782
01:12:15,188 --> 01:12:17,491
So I saw back here that
this wheel started to like,
1783
01:12:17,557 --> 01:12:19,391
if you look, like,
this is on pretty good.
1784
01:12:19,459 --> 01:12:20,894
- Okay.
- But the other one,
1785
01:12:20,961 --> 01:12:22,462
come on here, Mitch,
let me show you real quick.
1786
01:12:22,529 --> 01:12:23,930
Oh, no, now you went
the other way. Shit.
1787
01:12:23,997 --> 01:12:26,398
- He's undoing it, Joe!
- You're undoing...
1788
01:12:26,466 --> 01:12:27,868
You're undoing the loop.
No, you gotta come this way.
1789
01:12:27,934 --> 01:12:29,469
- Yeah.
- So now we're back on track.
1790
01:12:29,536 --> 01:12:31,403
So this will be
a second rotation, yeah.
1791
01:12:31,471 --> 01:12:32,606
This hubcap is off.
1792
01:12:32,672 --> 01:12:34,441
The other side,
the two came off.
1793
01:12:34,508 --> 01:12:36,610
- Okay.
- This one here, hubcap.
1794
01:12:36,676 --> 01:12:38,111
So I got two hubcaps.
So now...
1795
01:12:38,178 --> 01:12:40,279
I think I actually need
three rotations, Joe.
1796
01:12:40,346 --> 01:12:42,182
Damn it.
How many rotations?
1797
01:12:42,249 --> 01:12:43,550
You need one more.
1798
01:12:43,617 --> 01:12:44,985
What are you trying
to accomplish here, Joe?
1799
01:12:45,051 --> 01:12:46,285
- Oh, me?
- Yeah.
1800
01:12:46,352 --> 01:12:47,754
Oh, no, I'm trying to get
the car to start.
1801
01:12:47,821 --> 01:12:48,889
But I walked you through
what happened, come here.
1802
01:12:48,955 --> 01:12:50,123
Mitch, Mitch...
1803
01:12:50,190 --> 01:12:51,892
You gotta look at this,
Mitch. Mitch, Mitch!
1804
01:12:51,958 --> 01:12:54,027
- Hold on, hold on.
- Joe, start hiding from him.
1805
01:12:54,094 --> 01:12:55,695
But I don't need...
1806
01:12:55,762 --> 01:12:57,130
Joe, he's not
gonna chase you.
1807
01:12:57,197 --> 01:12:58,532
- Come on, Joe!
- Hey, man,
1808
01:12:58,598 --> 01:13:01,134
you're gonna make me
leave you, man, okay?
1809
01:13:01,201 --> 01:13:03,436
- Hey, man, I'm gone, man.
- No, no, Mitch, look at this!
1810
01:13:03,503 --> 01:13:05,906
No.
1811
01:13:05,972 --> 01:13:07,707
Mitch, but look, you gotta
look at this last one.
1812
01:13:07,774 --> 01:13:09,209
- Come here.
- Mitch.
1813
01:13:09,276 --> 01:13:10,577
Mitch, you're my best friend.
1814
01:13:10,644 --> 01:13:12,612
We're best friends, Mitch.
Mitch.
1815
01:13:12,679 --> 01:13:14,380
All I'm trying to do
is help you.
1816
01:13:14,447 --> 01:13:15,715
- I know, I'm trying...
- You want to help me,
1817
01:13:15,782 --> 01:13:17,184
go around the car
one more time!
1818
01:13:17,250 --> 01:13:18,185
- One more time.
- Okay?
1819
01:13:18,251 --> 01:13:19,452
- Guess what.
- What?
1820
01:13:19,519 --> 01:13:21,221
- You gotta follow me.
- Okay. Deal.
1821
01:13:21,288 --> 01:13:23,056
I'm following you, Mitch.
1822
01:13:23,123 --> 01:13:24,356
- Joe...
- It's okay.
1823
01:13:24,424 --> 01:13:25,959
Joe, after this,
I'm going home.
1824
01:13:26,026 --> 01:13:27,861
Okay, you accomplished
your goal.
1825
01:13:27,928 --> 01:13:29,729
I did.
I did accomplish my goal.
1826
01:13:29,796 --> 01:13:31,231
- And you have a good day.
- That's it.
1827
01:13:31,298 --> 01:13:33,233
Mitch,
you're unbelievable, buddy.
1828
01:13:33,300 --> 01:13:34,434
Thank you so much.
1829
01:13:34,501 --> 01:13:35,969
That's how you hit home runs.
1830
01:13:36,036 --> 01:13:37,270
Great work, boys.
1831
01:13:44,044 --> 01:13:46,479
Lovely Florida.
Oh, what do we have here?
1832
01:13:46,546 --> 01:13:47,848
Check it out.
1833
01:13:47,914 --> 01:13:50,717
Murr's our loser!
1834
01:13:50,784 --> 01:13:52,152
Oh!
1835
01:13:52,219 --> 01:13:54,054
Murr is forever our loser.
1836
01:13:54,120 --> 01:13:55,789
No Abdul for you, baby.
1837
01:13:55,856 --> 01:13:58,390
♪ She gon' make you
Move to Miami ♪
1838
01:13:58,458 --> 01:14:00,594
♪ She moving like a gypsy ♪
1839
01:14:00,660 --> 01:14:02,062
♪ Her body got me tipsy ♪
1840
01:14:02,128 --> 01:14:03,663
- Look at this!
- We have arrived.
1841
01:14:03,730 --> 01:14:06,365
Oh, look at this.
1842
01:14:06,433 --> 01:14:08,635
♪ Girl got me
Feeling risky ♪
1843
01:14:11,738 --> 01:14:13,940
Welcome to Miami, gentlemen.
Checking in?
1844
01:14:14,007 --> 01:14:15,909
You bet your sweet ass
we're checking in,
1845
01:14:15,976 --> 01:14:17,944
you bedroom-eyed baby bitch,
just kidding.
1846
01:14:18,011 --> 01:14:20,247
- We need help with luggage?
- We straight!
1847
01:14:20,313 --> 01:14:21,413
All good here, dawg.
1848
01:14:21,481 --> 01:14:23,984
♪ Oh, yeah ♪
1849
01:14:24,050 --> 01:14:26,253
Door!
1850
01:14:26,319 --> 01:14:28,355
Hey, watch the leather.
1851
01:14:28,420 --> 01:14:30,290
Good joke.
1852
01:14:30,357 --> 01:14:31,758
♪ We gon' party ♪
1853
01:14:31,825 --> 01:14:33,560
♪ Freaking every weekend ♪
1854
01:14:33,627 --> 01:14:36,496
♪ Baby, we just
getting started ♪
1855
01:14:41,735 --> 01:14:43,136
♪ Damn, you got me, girl ♪
1856
01:14:43,203 --> 01:14:45,872
♪ That body's built
Like a Bugatti ♪
1857
01:14:45,939 --> 01:14:48,074
♪ And if you look,
You'll fall in love ♪
1858
01:14:48,141 --> 01:14:50,510
♪ She got that ass,
She make... ♪
1859
01:14:50,577 --> 01:14:52,946
It's always...
1860
01:14:53,013 --> 01:14:54,514
I gotta go back down!
1861
01:15:02,756 --> 01:15:04,357
♪ She gon' make you move
to Miami ♪
1862
01:15:04,424 --> 01:15:06,226
- VIPs.
- What do you think?
1863
01:15:06,293 --> 01:15:07,560
What do you think?
VIP!
1864
01:15:07,627 --> 01:15:09,462
Stands for
"Very Important Man."
1865
01:15:09,529 --> 01:15:11,197
- Abdul!
- Get to the party.
1866
01:15:11,264 --> 01:15:12,666
Abdul!
1867
01:15:15,035 --> 01:15:18,238
Abdul! Abdul! Abdul!
1868
01:15:19,773 --> 01:15:21,875
Abdul! Abdul!
Abdul!
1869
01:15:28,715 --> 01:15:30,417
Wow,
look at this place, huh?
1870
01:15:30,483 --> 01:15:32,852
Whoa.
Oh, yeah.
1871
01:15:32,919 --> 01:15:34,354
Door.
1872
01:15:34,422 --> 01:15:36,890
- This is crazy.
- Wow. Check it.
1873
01:15:36,957 --> 01:15:38,725
Yeah, but we made it, boys.
1874
01:15:38,792 --> 01:15:40,293
It's us, settle down.
Everybody settle down.
1875
01:15:42,430 --> 01:15:43,930
- You have a finger...
- Very good, all right.
1876
01:15:43,997 --> 01:15:46,900
...in your ass
on television!
1877
01:15:46,967 --> 01:15:49,002
There you go.
1878
01:15:51,338 --> 01:15:53,506
This is so nice.
1879
01:15:53,573 --> 01:15:55,141
- Paula.
- Hey, Paula.
1880
01:15:55,208 --> 01:15:57,477
Hey, guys, how are you?
You made it.
1881
01:15:57,544 --> 01:15:59,012
- Where's Murr?
- Who he?
1882
01:15:59,079 --> 01:16:01,281
Oh, it turns out
there was only three tickets.
1883
01:16:01,348 --> 01:16:03,950
So we decided to compete
in a hidden camera challenge...
1884
01:16:06,353 --> 01:16:08,521
You guys are hysterical.
1885
01:16:11,291 --> 01:16:12,792
Okay.
1886
01:16:15,729 --> 01:16:19,366
- Well, there's our table.
- She thinks I'm hysterical.
1887
01:16:19,433 --> 01:16:20,567
- That's nice.
- You are funny.
1888
01:16:20,633 --> 01:16:23,236
♪ Baby, pick your head up ♪
1889
01:16:23,303 --> 01:16:28,041
♪ Come on and look me
In the face ♪
1890
01:16:28,108 --> 01:16:30,977
♪ 'Cause I can tell
That something ♪
1891
01:16:31,044 --> 01:16:34,781
♪ Is bringing you down ♪
1892
01:16:34,848 --> 01:16:37,250
♪ Is it the rumor ♪
1893
01:16:37,317 --> 01:16:39,652
♪ That another boy ♪
1894
01:16:39,719 --> 01:16:43,323
♪ Wants to take your place ♪
1895
01:16:43,390 --> 01:16:46,593
♪ Have you been
Hearing the stories ♪
1896
01:16:46,659 --> 01:16:49,062
♪ They're going around ♪
1897
01:16:49,129 --> 01:16:50,296
So funny.
1898
01:16:50,363 --> 01:16:52,832
That looks like Murr
from Impractical Jokers.
1899
01:16:52,899 --> 01:16:54,901
No way.
He looks too sad and lonely.
1900
01:16:54,968 --> 01:16:56,636
Yeah, and they're never
seen alone.
1901
01:16:56,703 --> 01:16:58,004
- They're tight like that.
- Yeah.
1902
01:16:58,071 --> 01:17:00,673
So anyways,
like I was saying, she...
1903
01:17:00,740 --> 01:17:02,342
♪ The moon
And the stars above ♪
1904
01:17:02,409 --> 01:17:04,344
Okay, so when you're making
a balsamic reduction,
1905
01:17:04,411 --> 01:17:06,413
you really want to have
the flame at a nice simmer.
1906
01:17:06,480 --> 01:17:08,114
If the heat is too hot,
it's not gonna reduce
1907
01:17:08,181 --> 01:17:09,716
the way you want it,
and the most important part
1908
01:17:09,783 --> 01:17:11,818
is to put the drizzle
right when it's hot.
1909
01:17:11,885 --> 01:17:14,120
And that's chicken, salads,
fish dishes, whatever?
1910
01:17:14,187 --> 01:17:16,356
Any dish.
It's about the presentaish.
1911
01:18:00,333 --> 01:18:01,634
What are you doing?
1912
01:18:01,701 --> 01:18:03,236
Kinda getting back into it
a little bit.
1913
01:18:03,303 --> 01:18:04,370
It looks like you're hurt.
1914
01:18:04,438 --> 01:18:06,072
Nah, I feel great.
1915
01:18:06,139 --> 01:18:08,775
- That does not look like you think it looks, buddy.
- Yeah.
1916
01:18:08,842 --> 01:18:10,643
I don't know
if I agree with you.
1917
01:18:10,710 --> 01:18:13,313
Everyone here agrees with us.
1918
01:18:14,247 --> 01:18:15,648
All right, all right.
1919
01:18:15,715 --> 01:18:17,050
All right,
we need Murray back,
1920
01:18:17,117 --> 01:18:18,718
'cause we're starting
to turn on each other.
1921
01:18:18,785 --> 01:18:20,019
You know, it just doesn't
feel right without Murr.
1922
01:18:20,086 --> 01:18:21,721
Because he's not here,
I'll admit it.
1923
01:18:21,788 --> 01:18:23,022
I miss him a little.
1924
01:18:23,089 --> 01:18:24,858
What are we even
still doing here?
1925
01:18:24,924 --> 01:18:26,359
We accomplished
what we set out to do.
1926
01:18:26,427 --> 01:18:28,828
We didn't mess up the night.
I'm not having fun.
1927
01:18:28,895 --> 01:18:31,164
We're nowhere near
Paula anyway.
1928
01:18:31,231 --> 01:18:33,900
Why don't we make like a tree
and go make fun of Murray?
1929
01:18:33,967 --> 01:18:35,802
- Yeah.
- All right.
1930
01:18:43,710 --> 01:18:46,779
Look at this vanilla angel.
1931
01:18:47,615 --> 01:18:49,115
He's magnificent.
1932
01:18:49,182 --> 01:18:51,084
You glorious,
luminous ferret.
1933
01:18:51,151 --> 01:18:53,419
I made the cut.
I made the cut.
1934
01:18:53,487 --> 01:18:55,188
I'm in, boys.
1935
01:18:55,255 --> 01:18:57,323
You just had to come,
didn't you?
1936
01:18:57,390 --> 01:18:58,992
The unmitigated gall, bro.
1937
01:18:59,058 --> 01:19:00,927
I mean, you lost
and you show up?
1938
01:19:00,994 --> 01:19:02,695
- What about the rules?
- Yeah, I mean...
1939
01:19:02,762 --> 01:19:04,697
we're gonna pass Go
and collect $200?
1940
01:19:04,764 --> 01:19:05,899
We're breaking rules?
1941
01:19:05,965 --> 01:19:07,300
I'm not playing Monopoly
like that!
1942
01:19:07,367 --> 01:19:08,602
Really?
1943
01:19:08,668 --> 01:19:10,136
I thought you guys
would be realizing
1944
01:19:10,203 --> 01:19:11,704
that the four of us
are better together.
1945
01:19:11,771 --> 01:19:14,542
This place is thebomb.com.
1946
01:19:14,608 --> 01:19:16,176
There's Paula Abdul.
1947
01:19:16,242 --> 01:19:17,177
Paula!
1948
01:19:17,243 --> 01:19:19,679
- Right, she's right there.
- Hi.
1949
01:19:22,081 --> 01:19:23,850
She's clocking us
in a weird way.
1950
01:19:30,089 --> 01:19:32,426
- It's them.
- You bald idiot.
1951
01:19:32,493 --> 01:19:33,726
You wore the jacket.
1952
01:19:33,793 --> 01:19:35,995
It's them.
1953
01:19:36,062 --> 01:19:38,465
She's put it all together.
We gotta get out of here.
1954
01:19:38,532 --> 01:19:39,600
Run!
1955
01:19:39,667 --> 01:19:41,435
My throat!
1956
01:19:45,238 --> 01:19:47,273
Suck it, Abdul!
1957
01:19:47,340 --> 01:19:48,374
- Yeah!
- Whoa!
1958
01:19:49,709 --> 01:19:51,010
Hey, baby!
1959
01:19:53,780 --> 01:19:54,948
- Sal!
- His throat!
1960
01:19:55,014 --> 01:19:58,184
- My beautiful boy.
- Buddy, buddy.
1961
01:19:58,251 --> 01:20:00,787
- Take 'em out back.
- Who are you?
1962
01:20:00,853 --> 01:20:02,222
I run this town.
1963
01:20:02,288 --> 01:20:05,325
Not the cartel.
Not the Yakuza.
1964
01:20:05,391 --> 01:20:06,460
Abdul.
1965
01:20:06,527 --> 01:20:08,495
You're evil.
And you, you're a monster.
1966
01:20:08,562 --> 01:20:11,297
You know, I'm gonna make you
forever my bitch!
1967
01:20:15,536 --> 01:20:17,538
No!
1968
01:20:22,610 --> 01:20:24,310
And this is where
our story should end.
1969
01:20:24,377 --> 01:20:26,513
I mean, we really screwed
the night up.
1970
01:20:26,580 --> 01:20:29,182
My sweet, sweet Sal was tased.
1971
01:20:29,249 --> 01:20:31,452
I'm saving him
like a real man, sure,
1972
01:20:31,518 --> 01:20:33,721
but Murr is screaming
like a little ferret.
1973
01:20:33,786 --> 01:20:35,154
Paula's good and pissed.
1974
01:20:35,221 --> 01:20:37,757
And Joe...
Wait, where is Joe?
1975
01:20:37,824 --> 01:20:39,993
Hey, Paula.
1976
01:20:40,059 --> 01:20:42,563
I mean, I came here
to party, right?
1977
01:20:43,963 --> 01:20:46,567
I got this, boys.
1978
01:20:46,634 --> 01:20:48,469
♪ Make money, money,
Make money, money ♪
1979
01:20:48,535 --> 01:20:50,638
♪ Make money, money,
Make money, money, hey ♪
1980
01:20:50,704 --> 01:20:52,606
♪ Take money, money,
Take money, money ♪
1981
01:20:52,673 --> 01:20:54,541
♪ Take money, money,
Take money, money, hey ♪
1982
01:20:54,608 --> 01:20:56,876
♪ Save money, money,
Save money, money, money ♪
1983
01:20:56,943 --> 01:20:59,078
♪ Save money, money,
save money, money, money ♪
1984
01:20:59,145 --> 01:21:01,080
♪ 401(k), 401(k) ♪
1985
01:21:01,147 --> 01:21:03,316
♪ 401(k), 401(k) ♪
1986
01:21:03,383 --> 01:21:04,350
DJ, flip it.
1987
01:21:04,417 --> 01:21:06,687
Paula, get your Abdul ass
up here.
1988
01:21:11,791 --> 01:21:14,027
- ♪ Hey, baby ♪
- Oh, oh!
1989
01:21:14,093 --> 01:21:16,963
- ♪ You gotta remember ♪
- I remember.
1990
01:21:17,030 --> 01:21:18,532
♪ I'm forever your girl ♪
1991
01:21:18,599 --> 01:21:21,067
- For how long?
- ♪ Baby, forever ♪
1992
01:21:21,134 --> 01:21:24,804
♪ And ever and ever,
You know I am ♪
1993
01:21:24,871 --> 01:21:26,205
Yeah, let's do it!
1994
01:21:26,272 --> 01:21:29,543
Give it up for Joe
and the Impractical Jokers.
1995
01:21:29,610 --> 01:21:30,810
They're in the house,
1996
01:21:30,877 --> 01:21:33,079
and they drove
the whole way here.
1997
01:21:34,847 --> 01:21:36,215
She forgives us!
1998
01:21:42,188 --> 01:21:44,157
♪ Baby, pick your head up ♪
1999
01:21:44,223 --> 01:21:45,693
Pick your head up.
Pick your head up.
2000
01:21:45,759 --> 01:21:50,063
♪ Come on
And look me in the face ♪
2001
01:21:50,129 --> 01:21:52,566
♪ 'Cause I can tell
That something ♪
2002
01:21:52,633 --> 01:21:54,702
- What?
- ♪ Is bringing you down ♪
2003
01:21:54,768 --> 01:21:57,003
Paula Abdul!
2004
01:21:57,070 --> 01:21:58,605
You did it!
2005
01:21:58,672 --> 01:22:01,709
♪ Baby, just remember,
I gave you my heart ♪
2006
01:22:01,775 --> 01:22:03,242
Tell me!
2007
01:22:03,309 --> 01:22:05,779
♪ Ain't no one
Gonna tear us apart ♪
2008
01:22:05,845 --> 01:22:08,214
- ♪ He can promise the moon ♪
- Hands in the air!
2009
01:22:08,281 --> 01:22:10,517
♪ And the stars above ♪
2010
01:22:10,584 --> 01:22:14,521
♪ Even if he promised me
The world ♪
2011
01:22:21,327 --> 01:22:24,197
Wow, I love Miami.
2012
01:22:24,263 --> 01:22:26,132
What a night.
What a night!
2013
01:22:26,199 --> 01:22:27,701
- Yes!
- Unbelievable.
2014
01:22:27,768 --> 01:22:30,637
Man, I'm so glad I threatened
your lives with that 2x4.
2015
01:22:31,839 --> 01:22:33,707
- Fellas, I love you.
- Yeah.
2016
01:22:33,774 --> 01:22:34,775
You're my best friends.
2017
01:22:34,842 --> 01:22:36,443
Epic, epic night, guys.
2018
01:22:36,510 --> 01:22:40,380
Yeah, I don't say
this enough, but I... I...
2019
01:22:40,447 --> 01:22:42,649
Hey, Fatone, you mind
keeping it down back there?
2020
01:22:42,716 --> 01:22:45,118
- We're trying to have a moment.
- Sorry.
2021
01:22:45,184 --> 01:22:47,253
I thought
I had known everything
2022
01:22:47,320 --> 01:22:48,622
there was to know about us,
2023
01:22:48,689 --> 01:22:50,189
but I learned
a few things on this trip.
2024
01:22:50,256 --> 01:22:51,924
Sal loves tigers.
2025
01:22:51,991 --> 01:22:55,294
Yeah, Murr loves going to strip
clubs with his young nieces.
2026
01:22:55,361 --> 01:22:57,296
Q's parents love
softcore porn.
2027
01:22:57,363 --> 01:22:58,866
- No, no, they do not.
- They do.
2028
01:22:58,931 --> 01:23:00,534
- They do not. They do not.
- They do, they produce it.
2029
01:23:00,601 --> 01:23:02,335
I'll tell you
what the biggest thing, though,
2030
01:23:02,402 --> 01:23:03,970
that surprised me
was how good of a hype man
2031
01:23:04,036 --> 01:23:06,038
- Joe turned out to be after all.
- Right?
2032
01:23:06,105 --> 01:23:09,041
Not bad, buddy.
2033
01:23:09,108 --> 01:23:11,545
I should talk to you boys
about something.
2034
01:23:11,612 --> 01:23:13,112
An offer came in.
2035
01:23:13,179 --> 01:23:14,947
Abdul wants me to go
full-time as her hype man.
2036
01:23:15,014 --> 01:23:17,116
World tour.
Unbelievable.
2037
01:23:17,183 --> 01:23:19,986
Seven-figure salary,
401(k), full benefits.
2038
01:23:20,052 --> 01:23:22,188
Everything.
2039
01:23:22,255 --> 01:23:25,224
You know, she even offered me
my own reality show.
2040
01:23:25,291 --> 01:23:27,927
"Believe the Hype:
The Joe Gatto Story."
2041
01:23:27,994 --> 01:23:29,996
I got a tricycle for McKayla.
2042
01:23:30,062 --> 01:23:31,230
Milana.
2043
01:23:31,297 --> 01:23:33,399
My own helicopter
they're flying in.
2044
01:23:34,668 --> 01:23:36,202
She's gonna get rid
of that tapeworm.
2045
01:23:36,269 --> 01:23:38,070
Oh, you've had that
for years.
2046
01:23:38,137 --> 01:23:39,440
Bye-bye, Charlie.
2047
01:23:39,506 --> 01:23:42,408
Everything I ever wanted
as a full-blown hype man
2048
01:23:42,476 --> 01:23:44,177
delivered on a silver platter.
2049
01:23:44,243 --> 01:23:45,746
Well, what did you say
to her?
2050
01:23:49,917 --> 01:23:51,452
- I said no.
- Oh, thank God!
2051
01:23:51,518 --> 01:23:52,820
I don't want to do it.
She said, "What are you doing?"
2052
01:23:52,886 --> 01:23:53,887
I said,
"I'm forever their boy."
2053
01:23:53,953 --> 01:23:55,622
I straight up told her no-no.
2054
01:23:55,689 --> 01:23:56,723
You know what?
2055
01:23:57,957 --> 01:23:59,726
It's time to go back
to Staten Island.
2056
01:23:59,793 --> 01:24:01,027
Yes, it is.
2057
01:24:01,093 --> 01:24:02,429
Let me just go gas up
Grandma Lucia.
2058
01:24:02,496 --> 01:24:04,197
- We'll hit the road.
- Hold on, fellas.
2059
01:24:04,263 --> 01:24:08,034
Abdul texted me tickets
to go on her private plane.
2060
01:24:08,100 --> 01:24:09,368
- Oh, all right.
- Oh!
2061
01:24:09,436 --> 01:24:11,037
- That's awesome.
- Wait, wait, wait.
2062
01:24:11,103 --> 01:24:13,440
She sent three tickets.
Come on!
2063
01:24:13,507 --> 01:24:15,074
Is she kidding me?
2064
01:24:15,141 --> 01:24:16,375
- And it goes on.
- This is on purpose, right?
2065
01:24:16,443 --> 01:24:18,479
- Does she watch the show?
- Oh, that's great.
2066
01:24:18,545 --> 01:24:19,947
Well, there's four of us.
That's an issue.
2067
01:24:20,012 --> 01:24:20,980
Well, then how
are we gonna decide
2068
01:24:21,047 --> 01:24:22,483
who gets to go on the plane?
2069
01:24:22,549 --> 01:24:24,317
- I think it's been decided.
- Yeah, pretty sure.
2070
01:24:24,383 --> 01:24:25,819
- What do you mean?
- Did you not watch the movie?
2071
01:24:25,886 --> 01:24:27,688
- That's for real, like...
- Yes.
2072
01:24:27,754 --> 01:24:30,156
- Yes, our show is real.
- But that's for real?
2073
01:24:30,223 --> 01:24:31,991
You think you have a shot
at a private?
2074
01:24:32,058 --> 01:24:33,760
Don't worry, we'll...
2075
01:24:33,827 --> 01:24:35,562
♪ The stars above ♪
2076
01:24:35,629 --> 01:24:41,367
♪ Even if he promised me
The world ♪
2077
01:24:41,435 --> 01:24:45,304
♪ Just remember
I'm forever your girl ♪
2078
01:24:46,339 --> 01:24:48,140
Is that it?
Is that the plane?
2079
01:24:48,207 --> 01:24:50,409
Oh, my God, guys.
We are living life.
2080
01:24:50,477 --> 01:24:52,345
- That's a jet.
- Yeah.
2081
01:24:52,411 --> 01:24:55,047
All right, all right.
2082
01:24:55,114 --> 01:24:56,717
So I really can't
fly in the jet?
2083
01:24:56,783 --> 01:24:58,552
Come on.
2084
01:24:58,619 --> 01:25:00,787
What about if I drive
Grandma Lucia home?
2085
01:25:00,854 --> 01:25:03,289
Grandma Lucia's already halfway
back to Staten Island, buddy.
2086
01:25:03,356 --> 01:25:05,859
We're in this.
You're on that.
2087
01:25:10,597 --> 01:25:11,999
Oh, God.
2088
01:25:12,064 --> 01:25:14,100
See you in Staten Island.
2089
01:25:14,166 --> 01:25:16,003
- Welcome.
- Thank you.
2090
01:25:16,068 --> 01:25:17,638
Wait, on?
2091
01:25:27,246 --> 01:25:29,850
- All right, huh?
- Oh, yeah.
2092
01:25:29,917 --> 01:25:31,752
- Cheers.
- Cheers!
2093
01:25:31,818 --> 01:25:32,920
Yes!
2094
01:25:32,986 --> 01:25:35,254
Private plane, Abdul,
no Murray.
2095
01:25:35,321 --> 01:25:38,090
- This is crazy, man.
- Mmm.
2096
01:25:39,493 --> 01:25:41,562
How do you think he's doing?
2097
01:25:45,032 --> 01:25:47,400
♪ I said the joker
Is a wanted man ♪
2098
01:25:47,467 --> 01:25:50,537
♪ He makes his way
All across the land ♪
2099
01:25:50,604 --> 01:25:53,507
♪ See him sifting
Through the sand ♪
2100
01:25:53,574 --> 01:25:55,408
♪ So I'll tell you
All the story ♪
2101
01:25:55,475 --> 01:25:57,844
♪ 'Bout the joker
And the thief in the night ♪
2102
01:26:03,215 --> 01:26:05,919
♪ He's always laughing
In the midst of power ♪
2103
01:26:05,986 --> 01:26:09,355
♪ Always living
In the final hour ♪
2104
01:26:09,423 --> 01:26:12,025
♪ There is always
Sweet in the sour ♪
2105
01:26:12,091 --> 01:26:16,530
♪ So we are not going home ♪
2106
01:26:17,363 --> 01:26:18,832
Oh, God!
2107
01:26:21,400 --> 01:26:25,772
♪ Can you see the joker
Flying over ♪
2108
01:26:27,507 --> 01:26:32,244
♪ As she's standing
In the field of clover ♪
2109
01:26:34,081 --> 01:26:36,883
♪ Watching out every day ♪
2110
01:26:36,950 --> 01:26:39,352
♪ I wonder what would happen
If he took her away ♪
2111
01:26:39,418 --> 01:26:41,120
♪ I'll tell you
All the story ♪
2112
01:26:41,187 --> 01:26:43,289
♪ 'Bout the joker
And the thief in the night ♪
2113
01:30:03,757 --> 01:30:06,493
♪ Time's up, time's up,
Time's up, time's up ♪
2114
01:30:06,560 --> 01:30:07,994
♪ Time to knock this shit up ♪
2115
01:30:08,061 --> 01:30:11,097
♪ I'm a joker,
Impractically nuts ♪
2116
01:30:11,164 --> 01:30:14,734
♪ With my crew,
About to light this shit up ♪
2117
01:30:14,801 --> 01:30:17,537
♪ I'm a joker,
Impractically nuts ♪
2118
01:30:17,604 --> 01:30:19,506
♪ Impractical, impractical ♪
2119
01:30:19,573 --> 01:30:20,707
♪ Joker ♪
2120
01:30:20,774 --> 01:30:23,409
♪ Impractical, impractical ♪
2121
01:30:23,476 --> 01:30:24,811
♪ Joker ♪
2122
01:30:24,878 --> 01:30:26,980
♪ Impractical, impractical ♪
2123
01:30:27,047 --> 01:30:28,281
♪ Joker ♪
2124
01:30:28,347 --> 01:30:29,916
♪ Impractical, impractical ♪
2125
01:30:29,983 --> 01:30:32,285
♪ Joker,
We pull up in the Crown Vic ♪
2126
01:30:32,351 --> 01:30:33,920
♪ We 'bout to clown and shit ♪
2127
01:30:33,987 --> 01:30:35,856
♪ We ate some brownies
At the crib ♪
2128
01:30:35,922 --> 01:30:38,191
♪ We prank and trick,
Straight fooling ♪
2129
01:30:38,258 --> 01:30:40,260
♪ Me and my crew's
In this bitch ♪
2130
01:30:40,327 --> 01:30:42,963
♪ Just coolin',
Me and my dudes, ice pick ♪
2131
01:30:43,029 --> 01:30:44,965
♪ When you see us coming,
We stunting ♪
2132
01:30:45,031 --> 01:30:47,000
♪ Now run and tell that,
The boys ♪
2133
01:30:47,067 --> 01:30:49,236
♪ Are hunting, they gunning,
With nothing held back ♪
2134
01:30:49,302 --> 01:30:51,370
♪ You lose at this game,
You get punished ♪
2135
01:30:51,438 --> 01:30:53,039
♪ And that's a real fact ♪
2136
01:30:53,106 --> 01:30:54,507
♪ You planning on staying,
I'll be honest ♪
2137
01:30:54,574 --> 01:30:56,209
♪ We all... ♪
2138
01:30:56,276 --> 01:30:57,677
♪ Sal, Murr, Joe, Q ♪
2139
01:30:57,744 --> 01:30:59,346
♪ We all about the laughs ♪
2140
01:30:59,411 --> 01:31:01,413
♪ How you gon' react
When the joker's in the back ♪
2141
01:31:01,481 --> 01:31:04,517
♪ And he's all up in your ear,
Cyrano de Bergerac ♪
2142
01:31:04,584 --> 01:31:07,921
♪ So say what I say
This is impractical attack ♪
2143
01:31:07,988 --> 01:31:09,990
♪ Whoa, clock is ticking ♪
2144
01:31:10,056 --> 01:31:11,791
♪ You gon' fold
Or you gon' follow through ♪
2145
01:31:11,858 --> 01:31:14,928
♪ Time's up,
Decide what you gon' do ♪
2146
01:31:14,995 --> 01:31:16,730
♪ Clock is ticking,
You gon' fold ♪
2147
01:31:16,796 --> 01:31:18,331
♪ Or you gon' follow through ♪
2148
01:31:18,397 --> 01:31:20,767
♪ Time's up,
Decide what you gonna do ♪
2149
01:31:20,834 --> 01:31:22,769
♪ Call us comedy cowboys ♪
2150
01:31:22,836 --> 01:31:24,471
♪ We quick with the trigger ♪
2151
01:31:24,537 --> 01:31:26,806
♪ A gang of wisecrackers
Leaving you in stitches ♪
2152
01:31:26,873 --> 01:31:28,642
♪ When you see
These tricksters coming ♪
2153
01:31:28,708 --> 01:31:30,143
♪ You know
They up to something ♪
2154
01:31:30,210 --> 01:31:31,645
♪ Setting you up
To get you cornered ♪
2155
01:31:31,711 --> 01:31:33,113
♪ Execute without warning ♪
2156
01:31:33,179 --> 01:31:35,949
♪ You're the casualty
Of a jokester ♪
2157
01:31:36,016 --> 01:31:38,585
♪ The satirical Casanova ♪
2158
01:31:38,652 --> 01:31:42,656
♪ We swift with the wits,
Seven years still a hit ♪
2159
01:31:42,722 --> 01:31:44,457
♪ Did the movie,
Shit's legit ♪
2160
01:31:44,524 --> 01:31:46,359
- ♪ Impractical humorists ♪
- ♪ Impractical ♪
2161
01:31:46,426 --> 01:31:49,229
♪ Impractical because
I'm cold when I'm hot ♪
2162
01:31:49,296 --> 01:31:52,465
♪ I run a marathon
In flip-flops ♪
2163
01:31:52,532 --> 01:31:53,934
♪ Impractical ♪
2164
01:31:54,000 --> 01:31:56,136
♪ I'm the one
And then I'm not ♪
2165
01:31:56,202 --> 01:31:58,271
♪ I rose to the top
When I dropped ♪
2166
01:31:58,338 --> 01:32:01,541
♪ Time's up,
Time to knock this shit up ♪
2167
01:32:01,608 --> 01:32:04,878
♪ I'm a joker,
Impractically nuts ♪
2168
01:32:04,945 --> 01:32:07,814
♪ With my crew,
About to light this shit up ♪
2169
01:32:07,881 --> 01:32:10,784
♪ I'm a joker,
I'm practically nuts ♪
2170
01:32:10,850 --> 01:32:14,020
♪ Impractical, impractical ♪
2171
01:32:14,087 --> 01:32:15,588
♪ Joker ♪
2172
01:32:15,655 --> 01:32:17,490
♪ Impractical, impractical ♪
2173
01:32:17,557 --> 01:32:18,825
♪ Joker ♪
2174
01:32:18,892 --> 01:32:20,527
♪ Impractical, impractical ♪
2175
01:32:20,593 --> 01:32:21,728
♪ Joker ♪
2176
01:32:21,795 --> 01:32:23,530
♪ Impractical, impractical ♪
2177
01:32:23,596 --> 01:32:24,831
♪ Joker ♪
2178
01:32:26,831 --> 01:32:33,831
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