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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:05,381 --> 00:00:08,931 Go fuck yourself, you bastard! 2 00:00:09,009 --> 00:00:12,139 -You piece of shit, tabloid press! -Sebastián. 3 00:00:12,221 --> 00:00:16,641 You piece of shit, fucking assholes. No, wait! You know what? 4 00:00:16,726 --> 00:00:18,016 Sebastián. 5 00:00:19,019 --> 00:00:21,859 Bastards! Go fuck yourself, you bastard! 6 00:00:26,444 --> 00:00:28,574 I'm not doing anything, Sebastián. 7 00:00:29,572 --> 00:00:31,162 You ruined us! 8 00:00:33,284 --> 00:00:38,214 5 HOURS BEFORE 9 00:00:39,999 --> 00:00:41,579 Lucía... 10 00:00:44,003 --> 00:00:46,383 after 10 years, 11 00:00:46,464 --> 00:00:49,014 the most beautiful years of my life, 12 00:00:50,009 --> 00:00:53,969 it's time for our paths to be bound forever. 13 00:00:55,514 --> 00:00:59,774 So that together, we might leave a legacy... 14 00:01:05,024 --> 00:01:06,944 And to create a legacy-- 15 00:01:07,026 --> 00:01:09,856 Fish. Fish! 16 00:01:09,945 --> 00:01:12,655 What the fuck, Fish? 17 00:01:12,740 --> 00:01:13,910 Right. 18 00:01:13,991 --> 00:01:15,991 I'm making a daiquiri for Hemingway. 19 00:01:16,076 --> 00:01:17,746 Where did you get this dog, Fish? 20 00:01:17,828 --> 00:01:20,328 I'm baby-siting it for Yanet, they won't let dogs into Oceanica. 21 00:01:20,414 --> 00:01:22,374 You're giving the dog alcohol? 22 00:01:22,458 --> 00:01:23,788 Hence his name. Hemingway. 23 00:01:23,876 --> 00:01:28,166 You're getting distracted. The important thing here is my speech, not a dog. 24 00:01:28,255 --> 00:01:31,505 Time-out, time-out. Who the hell is Yanet? 25 00:01:31,592 --> 00:01:33,052 The love of my life, brother. 26 00:01:33,135 --> 00:01:36,005 -For real? -You have a girlfriend in rehab? 27 00:01:36,096 --> 00:01:40,056 We took this on the day she checked in. 28 00:01:40,142 --> 00:01:41,942 You're getting sidetracked again. 29 00:01:42,019 --> 00:01:44,559 Speech. Good, bad, worse, terrible? 30 00:01:44,647 --> 00:01:46,937 -Spectacular. -This will be controversial. 31 00:01:47,024 --> 00:01:49,904 I vote that you not get married. It's lame. 32 00:01:49,985 --> 00:01:53,315 Come on, Gonzo. I agree it's a rancid institution. 33 00:01:53,405 --> 00:01:55,065 -Exactly. Exactly. -Archaic. Chauvinistic. 34 00:01:55,157 --> 00:01:57,537 -Antiquated. But weddings are cool. -Exactly! 35 00:01:57,618 --> 00:01:59,908 Are you ready to do this, man? 36 00:01:59,995 --> 00:02:01,995 Do you have investment funds, savings, mortgage? 37 00:02:02,081 --> 00:02:04,291 What are you talking about? I have it all planned out. 38 00:02:04,375 --> 00:02:06,415 I'm proposing at the press conference. 39 00:02:06,502 --> 00:02:08,882 Sebas, it's incredible. Don't listen to them. 40 00:02:08,963 --> 00:02:10,053 Thanks. 41 00:02:10,130 --> 00:02:12,760 I hope someone does something that special for my proposal. 42 00:02:12,842 --> 00:02:15,642 Maybe a flash mob. Golden balloons! 43 00:02:15,719 --> 00:02:18,929 Cushion-cut ring, size five, and Shania Twain in the background. 44 00:02:19,014 --> 00:02:21,024 Look, man. You're destroying our group. 45 00:02:21,100 --> 00:02:23,600 This marriage shit is a plague, and you're infecting everyone else. 46 00:02:23,686 --> 00:02:25,186 What if she says no? 47 00:02:25,271 --> 00:02:27,481 -She won't say no! -It's a possibility. 48 00:02:27,565 --> 00:02:31,855 No, we've talked about it. We've touched on the subject. Sort of. 49 00:02:31,944 --> 00:02:37,454 By the way, the mariachi band will start exactly when you get on one knee. 50 00:02:37,533 --> 00:02:40,333 It's 2020, Fish. Nobody uses mariachi bands anymore. 51 00:02:40,411 --> 00:02:44,501 Hey man, it's a vintage, cool, badass gesture. 52 00:02:44,582 --> 00:02:47,212 You know what else is badass? 53 00:02:47,293 --> 00:02:49,753 -The bowtie I got for Hemingway. -How cute! 54 00:02:49,837 --> 00:02:53,007 -Because he's such a fancy dog. -He's so cute! 55 00:02:53,090 --> 00:02:54,840 So the speech is all right? 56 00:02:54,925 --> 00:02:56,885 It's great, just relax. 57 00:02:56,969 --> 00:02:57,969 -It's fine. -Cheers. 58 00:03:06,812 --> 00:03:08,022 What sign are you? 59 00:03:08,105 --> 00:03:10,605 -Sagittarius. -The prettiest! 60 00:03:10,691 --> 00:03:13,491 You're so handsome. 61 00:03:14,695 --> 00:03:16,155 -She's a lesbian. -What? 62 00:03:17,698 --> 00:03:18,818 I said she's a lesbian. 63 00:03:18,908 --> 00:03:21,578 -No way, Fabiana. -I can tell just by looking. 64 00:03:21,660 --> 00:03:22,580 How do you know? 65 00:03:22,661 --> 00:03:25,501 I was one for one year, seven months and three days. 66 00:03:25,581 --> 00:03:26,921 -No way. -Let's bet. 67 00:03:26,999 --> 00:03:28,919 How much? 68 00:03:29,001 --> 00:03:31,131 You'll buy me lunch all year. 69 00:03:31,211 --> 00:03:33,631 -What if I win? -What do you want? 70 00:03:35,007 --> 00:03:35,927 We fuck. 71 00:03:36,008 --> 00:03:39,598 That is never going to happen, but you're on. 72 00:03:43,807 --> 00:03:45,727 Dude, I'm kind of worried. 73 00:03:45,809 --> 00:03:48,769 He isn't responding, I think he's depressed. 74 00:03:48,854 --> 00:03:51,944 -Dogs don't get depressed, Fish. -Are you sure? 75 00:03:52,024 --> 00:03:54,904 -Want some? -No, thanks. I have to be clear-headed. 76 00:03:54,985 --> 00:03:56,945 -You want some? -Obviously. 77 00:03:57,029 --> 00:04:00,409 -We don't smoke pot, we're adults. -Right, dude. 78 00:04:00,491 --> 00:04:05,661 What do you want, some mezcal, a beer, gummy? 79 00:04:05,746 --> 00:04:07,746 -All of the above! -I knew it! 80 00:04:07,831 --> 00:04:09,501 Classic lesbian. 81 00:04:09,583 --> 00:04:12,093 We're almost there, try to relax. 82 00:04:12,169 --> 00:04:14,959 Relax, man. You'll be fine. 83 00:04:15,047 --> 00:04:16,757 Shut up, she's here! 84 00:04:19,468 --> 00:04:21,598 The bride is here! 85 00:04:21,679 --> 00:04:24,769 -What did they say? -No, nothing, love. Nothing. 86 00:04:29,103 --> 00:04:30,773 You're looking good. 87 00:04:31,772 --> 00:04:35,572 Why is everyone all dressed up? Who's getting married? 88 00:04:39,154 --> 00:04:40,864 Daniel and I... 89 00:04:40,948 --> 00:04:43,328 if he smartens up. 90 00:04:43,409 --> 00:04:46,119 -We're thinking about it. -He's so cute! 91 00:04:46,203 --> 00:04:47,043 Don't touch him! 92 00:04:48,914 --> 00:04:51,384 Sorry. He's in a bad mood. 93 00:04:52,876 --> 00:04:54,416 Honey. 94 00:04:55,421 --> 00:04:58,091 Your hands are all sweaty. Are you all right? 95 00:04:58,173 --> 00:05:02,053 Yes, I'm just a bit nervous about the premiere tonight. 96 00:05:02,136 --> 00:05:04,046 Since when do you get nervous? 97 00:05:05,055 --> 00:05:08,225 Since always, darling. I always get really nervous. 98 00:05:12,730 --> 00:05:14,520 Is everything okay? 99 00:05:16,066 --> 00:05:18,776 -Yes, sure! -Everything is great, super! 100 00:05:37,129 --> 00:05:38,669 LET'S GO TO THE MOVIES WITH THE CAPTAIN 101 00:05:38,756 --> 00:05:42,046 Guys, I'm very excited to be hosting 102 00:05:42,134 --> 00:05:45,264 the exclusive broadcast of the DUMP3D premiere. 103 00:05:45,387 --> 00:05:50,267 Celebrating its 10th anniversary, now in 3D! 104 00:05:50,350 --> 00:05:53,900 But first, let's remember the best parts of the movie 105 00:05:53,979 --> 00:05:54,859 DUMPED 2 106 00:05:54,938 --> 00:05:56,978 Pizza Pizza is here. The best in the city. 107 00:06:01,987 --> 00:06:04,817 Dumped will now premiere in 3D, 108 00:06:04,907 --> 00:06:07,197 to celebrate its 10th anniversary. 109 00:06:08,202 --> 00:06:09,912 A reloaded classic. 110 00:06:09,995 --> 00:06:12,405 -I have to go. -Don't go. 111 00:06:12,498 --> 00:06:14,208 We were... 112 00:06:15,292 --> 00:06:18,382 a short story that I'll read a thousand times. 113 00:06:20,964 --> 00:06:23,384 Bela! 114 00:06:23,467 --> 00:06:26,137 DUMP3D 115 00:06:26,220 --> 00:06:30,560 It's a terrible movie, but it's got the best ticket sales in Mexico. 116 00:06:30,641 --> 00:06:34,271 It pains me, I can't believe it. It's truly a fucking joke, but we accept it. 117 00:06:34,353 --> 00:06:36,943 What became of that so-called actor, what's his name? 118 00:06:37,022 --> 00:06:41,242 He played Teo. What became of him? He disappeared, never did anything else. 119 00:06:41,318 --> 00:06:44,908 All he ever did, you know what it was? Date Lucía. 120 00:06:44,988 --> 00:06:49,408 -Dude, we are live! -We are...? Let me know. 121 00:06:50,452 --> 00:06:51,912 Everything I said? 122 00:06:51,995 --> 00:06:53,705 Everything I said? 123 00:06:58,001 --> 00:07:00,001 We'll be back! 124 00:07:04,174 --> 00:07:06,644 Faster, faster, yes. 125 00:07:07,511 --> 00:07:09,561 Come on, faster. 126 00:07:11,140 --> 00:07:13,930 If you would please make some room... 127 00:07:14,017 --> 00:07:16,937 -Control this girl. Come on. -Please, miss. 128 00:07:17,020 --> 00:07:19,480 -All right, all right! -Are you okay? 129 00:07:19,565 --> 00:07:21,525 We're so glad you're here. 130 00:07:21,608 --> 00:07:24,648 Let us through. There will be interviews and photos. 131 00:07:24,736 --> 00:07:28,526 We love having your support, thank you so much. Let's go. 132 00:07:28,615 --> 00:07:30,865 The investors are waiting for you. 133 00:07:30,951 --> 00:07:33,911 Please don't fuck up. You have to smile. 134 00:07:33,996 --> 00:07:36,786 -Yes. -Literally, it's in the contract. 135 00:07:36,874 --> 00:07:38,294 If you don't smile, we won't get paid. 136 00:07:39,585 --> 00:07:42,915 -Okay. -Sebastián, what's wrong? You're sweating. 137 00:07:43,005 --> 00:07:45,045 You're shiny, you'll ruin the photos. 138 00:07:45,132 --> 00:07:46,302 I'm nervous. 139 00:07:46,383 --> 00:07:49,933 Lu, I got you the hosting gig for the Ariel awards. 140 00:07:50,012 --> 00:07:52,142 Really? That's great. 141 00:07:52,222 --> 00:07:54,432 What about me? I exist, you know? 142 00:07:54,516 --> 00:07:57,766 There are already too many romantic comedy heartthrobs. 143 00:07:57,853 --> 00:07:59,483 You're in a difficult spot, dear. 144 00:07:59,563 --> 00:08:02,943 I'm not only a heartthrob, I'm a versatile actor. 145 00:08:03,025 --> 00:08:05,235 -Right. -I have range. 146 00:08:05,319 --> 00:08:06,279 Yes, of course. 147 00:08:06,361 --> 00:08:10,781 Meanwhile, enjoy these royalties, they're the last ones you'll be getting. 148 00:08:11,992 --> 00:08:13,412 Cheer up, darling. 149 00:08:13,493 --> 00:08:17,043 I'm hosting the awards, they may be the last ones. 150 00:08:17,998 --> 00:08:20,128 -Yeah, right. -Go ahead. 151 00:08:20,209 --> 00:08:22,919 -Come on, guys. Let us by, Lorenza. -Hey! 152 00:08:23,003 --> 00:08:26,173 -We're with them. -We're a fundamental part of this movie. 153 00:08:26,256 --> 00:08:29,926 You can go stand among the normal humans, over there! 154 00:08:30,010 --> 00:08:31,720 Let's go, come on. 155 00:08:31,803 --> 00:08:35,523 This is embarrassing, a red carpet for a Mexican movie. 156 00:08:35,599 --> 00:08:37,639 Thanks, huh? 157 00:08:38,977 --> 00:08:40,227 Social climbers! 158 00:08:40,312 --> 00:08:42,982 -Are you all right? -Yes, sure. 159 00:08:43,065 --> 00:08:45,975 -Ready. -Okay, you're acting weird. 160 00:08:47,069 --> 00:08:49,569 -Come on. -Yes? 161 00:08:49,655 --> 00:08:50,775 I'm very happy. 162 00:08:50,864 --> 00:08:56,084 They offered me Bela's character, but I preferred to give new talents a chance. 163 00:08:56,161 --> 00:08:59,001 This is so glamorous, being an actor is great. 164 00:08:59,081 --> 00:09:02,171 Teo is the character that inspires me the most. 165 00:09:02,251 --> 00:09:05,381 The only role he's ever played. Excuse us, good night! 166 00:09:05,462 --> 00:09:07,842 It's the hardest profession in the world. Did you know? 167 00:09:07,923 --> 00:09:10,933 At least his dad isn't an actor and he doesn't have to live in his shadow. 168 00:09:11,009 --> 00:09:13,299 No, you know what? Don't disrespect me, asshole. 169 00:09:13,387 --> 00:09:15,347 -No, no, no. -Don't disrespect me! 170 00:09:15,430 --> 00:09:18,100 We're so happy to have you here. 171 00:09:18,183 --> 00:09:19,773 -Teo... -Sebastián. 172 00:09:19,851 --> 00:09:23,191 How are you? We never see you anymore. Did you retire or are you still acting? 173 00:09:23,272 --> 00:09:24,522 I have a lot of projects. 174 00:09:24,606 --> 00:09:26,936 But you know, I can't tell you about them 175 00:09:27,025 --> 00:09:30,025 because I signed confidentiality agreements. 176 00:09:30,112 --> 00:09:30,862 Of course. 177 00:09:30,946 --> 00:09:34,526 At least he's not living in his father's shadow. 178 00:09:34,616 --> 00:09:38,906 I've told you several times, I'd rather work for the competition 179 00:09:38,996 --> 00:09:41,116 than to have to kiss my dad's ass. 180 00:09:41,206 --> 00:09:43,496 You have to solve your daddy issues, Danny. 181 00:09:43,583 --> 00:09:46,043 Says the guy who hasn't worked a day in his life. 182 00:09:46,128 --> 00:09:49,458 Sebastián continues acting, follow him on his social media. 183 00:09:49,548 --> 00:09:51,468 -His social media? -Yes. 184 00:09:51,550 --> 00:09:55,760 SebastianYbarraOfficialActor_01. 185 00:09:55,846 --> 00:10:02,476 Great, Teo. We'll follow your social media, just like we follow Lu 24/7, and we love her. 186 00:10:02,561 --> 00:10:04,901 What? You don't work? 187 00:10:04,980 --> 00:10:08,860 Andy, my dad worked his ass off for so many years 188 00:10:08,942 --> 00:10:10,572 just to give us a better life. 189 00:10:10,652 --> 00:10:13,742 It would be a lack of respect to deny him that pleasure 190 00:10:13,822 --> 00:10:16,332 and not enjoy the fruit of his work, get it? 191 00:10:17,534 --> 00:10:19,834 I'm sick of Dumped. 192 00:10:19,911 --> 00:10:23,831 Dumped Animated, Dumped on Ice, Dumped Forever... 193 00:10:23,915 --> 00:10:26,075 Calm down, new things will come. 194 00:10:26,168 --> 00:10:29,168 You're just saying that because Lorenza gets you cool projects. 195 00:10:29,254 --> 00:10:30,964 To you too, but you never take them. 196 00:10:31,048 --> 00:10:33,678 Because she never calls me for roles... 197 00:10:33,759 --> 00:10:35,929 That are a dramatic challenge. Sure. 198 00:10:36,011 --> 00:10:39,851 Yes, you're with a slacker. But a slacker with firm principles. 199 00:10:39,931 --> 00:10:41,931 Fish is also a slacker, due to his IQ. 200 00:10:42,017 --> 00:10:45,307 I'm not a slacker, I have some businesses. 201 00:10:45,395 --> 00:10:48,685 Come on, dude, you've been "between jobs" all your life. 202 00:10:48,774 --> 00:10:50,484 I'm doing fine, man. 203 00:10:50,567 --> 00:10:54,147 We won't let the press ruin such a special day. 204 00:10:54,237 --> 00:10:57,277 Exactly! That's the spirit, that's the spirit. 205 00:10:57,366 --> 00:10:59,986 Lucía, can we have a photo of you alone? 206 00:11:00,077 --> 00:11:02,247 Sebastián, will you move over? 207 00:11:02,329 --> 00:11:05,669 Thank you very much. A photo alone. Thank you. 208 00:11:24,601 --> 00:11:26,561 Now with Sebas. 209 00:11:31,441 --> 00:11:35,991 When did I say Perisur? When? It's at Roberto Cantoral! 210 00:11:37,072 --> 00:11:40,832 I don't give a fuck, find a toll pass somehow, man! 211 00:11:40,909 --> 00:11:44,959 This is the best day of my life, don't screw up. 212 00:11:45,038 --> 00:11:46,918 Thanks, bye. 213 00:11:46,998 --> 00:11:50,378 Relax, Fish. The mariachi band is doing you a favor, dude. 214 00:11:50,460 --> 00:11:52,420 You don't even care about your friends. 215 00:11:52,504 --> 00:11:55,974 -Yes, we do. We're here, aren't we? -I'm going to tell Sebastián. 216 00:11:56,049 --> 00:11:58,929 What for? He'll only get more nervous. 217 00:11:59,010 --> 00:12:00,930 I'm an idiot, I sent it. 218 00:12:01,012 --> 00:12:03,222 -Fuck Fish! -I'm an idiot. Sorry, sorry. 219 00:12:03,306 --> 00:12:04,466 Let's go find your dog. 220 00:12:04,558 --> 00:12:07,688 Your movie came into my life at a very dark time. 221 00:12:07,769 --> 00:12:10,269 -I even considered suicide. -You're shitting me. 222 00:12:12,023 --> 00:12:13,283 Sebastián. 223 00:12:14,985 --> 00:12:16,445 Happy birthday. 224 00:12:17,904 --> 00:12:19,204 Remember you're worthy. 225 00:12:20,449 --> 00:12:21,319 Thank you so much. 226 00:12:21,408 --> 00:12:23,578 I'm alive, thanks to the two of you. 227 00:12:23,660 --> 00:12:26,540 I mean that literally. 228 00:12:26,621 --> 00:12:28,791 Are you staying until the end of the movie? 229 00:12:28,874 --> 00:12:31,964 -Yes, of course! -You don't want to miss it. 230 00:12:32,043 --> 00:12:33,713 I love the two of you! 231 00:12:33,795 --> 00:12:36,005 Next. 232 00:12:37,340 --> 00:12:38,180 What? 233 00:12:48,018 --> 00:12:49,688 Beautiful… 234 00:12:50,979 --> 00:12:55,569 They painted you in watercolor… 235 00:13:05,994 --> 00:13:07,584 -Come on. -Okay. 236 00:13:14,002 --> 00:13:17,552 -Whip it out. -What? Are you crazy? 237 00:13:26,932 --> 00:13:28,142 What are you doing? 238 00:13:28,225 --> 00:13:32,395 -Listen, the XXX theater is two blocks away. -I know. I apologize. 239 00:13:34,564 --> 00:13:35,614 You're such prudes. 240 00:13:40,070 --> 00:13:42,240 -What's wrong? -Come on. 241 00:13:42,322 --> 00:13:43,532 No, Mafer. 242 00:13:43,615 --> 00:13:45,575 -Are you thirsty, Mafer? -No, no. 243 00:13:45,659 --> 00:13:47,329 It's for your own good. 244 00:13:47,410 --> 00:13:49,250 Get over here. 245 00:13:56,294 --> 00:13:57,924 Okay. 246 00:13:58,004 --> 00:14:00,384 Sorry. Marriage talk turns me on. 247 00:14:00,465 --> 00:14:02,465 -A lot. -All right. 248 00:14:02,551 --> 00:14:05,471 Be sure to tell me when you're going to propose 249 00:14:05,554 --> 00:14:08,354 so I can go to the salon, get a wax, manicure... 250 00:14:08,431 --> 00:14:10,231 -That's what turns you on? -Fuck, yeah. 251 00:14:13,103 --> 00:14:14,563 All right... 252 00:14:16,022 --> 00:14:16,942 Take your clothes off. 253 00:14:21,653 --> 00:14:23,153 What are you staring at? 254 00:14:23,238 --> 00:14:24,528 Pervert! 255 00:14:25,448 --> 00:14:27,328 Don't go... 256 00:14:27,409 --> 00:14:28,329 We were... 257 00:14:30,287 --> 00:14:31,747 a short story... 258 00:14:31,830 --> 00:14:34,830 That I will read a thousand times! 259 00:14:38,378 --> 00:14:39,748 Bravo! 260 00:14:42,215 --> 00:14:43,965 Bravo, Sebastián! 261 00:14:44,050 --> 00:14:47,930 Kiss, kiss, kiss! 262 00:14:56,354 --> 00:14:57,944 -What? -No, nothing. 263 00:14:58,023 --> 00:15:00,653 -Go on, tell me. What? -Do you like Gonzo? 264 00:15:02,235 --> 00:15:05,815 I don't know. Sort of, whatever. 265 00:15:06,865 --> 00:15:07,695 Why? 266 00:15:08,408 --> 00:15:09,698 Because... 267 00:15:09,993 --> 00:15:11,163 Nothing. 268 00:15:14,372 --> 00:15:21,092 It's just that Gonzo's my friend, he's like my dearest brother. I adore him. 269 00:15:21,171 --> 00:15:26,931 Don't take this the wrong way, but I can't stand the way he treats women. 270 00:15:27,010 --> 00:15:31,060 Like we're objects for one-night stands, to play with or bet on. 271 00:15:31,139 --> 00:15:33,479 -He bet that he could fuck you. -What? 272 00:15:33,558 --> 00:15:35,018 He's buying me dinner if he loses. 273 00:15:35,101 --> 00:15:37,101 Too late, I said it. 274 00:15:37,187 --> 00:15:38,937 -Damned men! -Yeah. 275 00:15:39,022 --> 00:15:42,822 He bet he would fuck you in the ass, and he'd post it on the Internet. 276 00:15:42,901 --> 00:15:44,241 -What?! -That's right. 277 00:15:44,319 --> 00:15:46,949 In the ass? We're not college students. 278 00:15:47,030 --> 00:15:49,280 -We don't do that anymore. -No, we don't. 279 00:15:49,366 --> 00:15:52,286 Those kinds of guys are a piece of crap. 280 00:15:52,369 --> 00:15:53,999 They're the oppressors. 281 00:15:54,079 --> 00:15:56,209 They're toxic masculinity. 282 00:15:56,289 --> 00:15:58,419 -Yes! -These men have to be taken down. 283 00:15:58,500 --> 00:16:00,670 Hashtag "you're going down." 284 00:16:00,752 --> 00:16:03,712 -He really thinks he can? -That's the worst part. 285 00:16:03,797 --> 00:16:08,927 You know? I think someone should teach him a lesson, where it hurts. 286 00:16:09,010 --> 00:16:10,390 -Yes. -So it hurts. 287 00:16:10,470 --> 00:16:12,760 And that person should be me. 288 00:16:12,847 --> 00:16:14,017 Exactly! 289 00:16:14,891 --> 00:16:16,431 What should we do? 290 00:16:17,811 --> 00:16:23,191 Serve the daiquiri on a plate, please, and give me a beer. Thanks. 291 00:16:24,442 --> 00:16:26,702 -Good doggy. Good doggy. -Fish. 292 00:16:26,778 --> 00:16:28,488 Where is the fucking mariachi band? 293 00:16:28,571 --> 00:16:31,741 They're on their way, I just hung up with them. 294 00:16:32,492 --> 00:16:34,082 I'm shaking, dude. 295 00:16:34,160 --> 00:16:35,290 That bad, you idiot? 296 00:16:36,996 --> 00:16:39,666 The speech! I just forgot the whole speech! 297 00:16:39,749 --> 00:16:42,169 -Relax, what's wrong? -I went blank. 298 00:16:42,252 --> 00:16:43,922 -You're the man, dude. -Q & A, let's go! 299 00:16:44,003 --> 00:16:46,513 -You're the man, dude. -Yes. 300 00:16:46,589 --> 00:16:47,469 You're the shit, bro. 301 00:16:47,549 --> 00:16:50,549 There's no take two! There's no take two! 302 00:16:50,635 --> 00:16:53,635 -What was that all about? -Nothing. 303 00:16:54,514 --> 00:16:57,644 -Who's that guy anyway? -Don't pay attention to him. 304 00:16:58,059 --> 00:17:01,269 Can you take care of my dog? He's not really mine... Whatever. 305 00:17:01,354 --> 00:17:04,944 He's really cool when he's drunk. He doesn't bite. 306 00:17:05,024 --> 00:17:06,194 Thanks, bro. 307 00:17:10,655 --> 00:17:12,365 Sebastián! 308 00:17:15,910 --> 00:17:21,000 Thank you so much to the press and the dedicated fans who decided to stay. 309 00:17:26,713 --> 00:17:28,173 Welcome. 310 00:17:28,673 --> 00:17:30,883 It was a great idea 311 00:17:30,967 --> 00:17:33,337 to make DUMP3D. 312 00:17:33,428 --> 00:17:35,388 But what's next for you two? 313 00:17:36,556 --> 00:17:40,346 I have a Danish-Canadian coproduction by Yorgos Lanthimos 314 00:17:40,435 --> 00:17:41,765 premering at Sundance. 315 00:17:43,188 --> 00:17:46,188 Taking advantage of your presence, what can you tell us 316 00:17:46,274 --> 00:17:51,074 about a rumor we heard that you're debuting as a director? 317 00:17:51,154 --> 00:17:53,954 How did you find out about that, scoundrels? 318 00:17:54,032 --> 00:17:56,912 Yes, I'm going to direct my first movie. 319 00:17:56,993 --> 00:18:01,163 It's a social drama that takes place in a small village in Oaxaca. 320 00:18:01,998 --> 00:18:04,538 Thanks for telling us a little bit... 321 00:18:05,043 --> 00:18:06,213 Yes, Sebastián? 322 00:18:06,294 --> 00:18:07,844 I have a question for Lucía. 323 00:18:07,921 --> 00:18:09,131 Go ahead. 324 00:18:27,899 --> 00:18:29,979 After 10 years... 325 00:18:32,570 --> 00:18:34,570 the most beautiful years of my life... 326 00:18:40,286 --> 00:18:43,996 I think it's time for us to join our lives forever. 327 00:18:45,166 --> 00:18:48,456 So that together, we might leave a legacy... 328 00:18:50,171 --> 00:18:53,381 and change scenes for the next stage of our lives. 329 00:18:53,466 --> 00:18:54,506 Sebas, what are you doing? 330 00:18:57,011 --> 00:18:58,471 Lucía Gamero... 331 00:19:05,603 --> 00:19:06,273 will you... 332 00:19:09,983 --> 00:19:10,783 marry... 333 00:19:17,490 --> 00:19:19,200 me? 334 00:19:34,257 --> 00:19:36,377 Sebastián! Call it off! 335 00:19:38,011 --> 00:19:39,851 Lucía, Sebastián. 336 00:19:39,929 --> 00:19:42,469 Are you inviting this man to your wedding? 337 00:19:52,275 --> 00:19:53,895 No way, man. This is so embarrassing. 338 00:19:54,986 --> 00:19:56,146 That's fake. 339 00:19:56,237 --> 00:19:59,027 People on the Internet do that... Right? 340 00:19:59,115 --> 00:20:00,325 Right? 341 00:20:01,618 --> 00:20:04,078 How dare you slander Lucía like this, asshole? 342 00:20:04,162 --> 00:20:06,502 It's not slander, Sebastián. I'm a serious journalist. 343 00:20:06,581 --> 00:20:10,921 -You're fucking kidding me! A damn journalist! -Sebastián. Sebastián. 344 00:20:11,002 --> 00:20:13,302 Sebastián. Let me explain, will you? 345 00:20:18,843 --> 00:20:20,183 Explain what? 346 00:20:20,261 --> 00:20:21,601 I swear I was going to tell you. 347 00:20:24,432 --> 00:20:25,772 Before... 348 00:20:28,019 --> 00:20:29,559 or after everybody found out? 349 00:20:29,646 --> 00:20:31,306 I didn't know about your proposal. 350 00:20:32,482 --> 00:20:33,402 No! 351 00:20:33,483 --> 00:20:35,943 You ruined us! 352 00:20:36,027 --> 00:20:38,987 You ruined us. 353 00:20:39,072 --> 00:20:41,662 Lorenza. Come on, I'll explain. 354 00:20:41,741 --> 00:20:43,411 Sebastián, come on. 355 00:20:44,619 --> 00:20:45,949 No. 356 00:20:46,037 --> 00:20:46,997 No. 357 00:20:47,080 --> 00:20:48,040 No. 358 00:20:49,207 --> 00:20:50,417 No... 359 00:20:50,500 --> 00:20:53,250 The problem here is you creeps! 360 00:20:54,253 --> 00:20:57,173 You piece of shit, tabloid press! 361 00:20:57,256 --> 00:21:01,386 Piece of shit! You don't give a fuck about us! 362 00:21:01,469 --> 00:21:07,849 This was our life project, and all of you don't give a shit. 363 00:21:08,768 --> 00:21:10,768 You want dumped? 364 00:21:11,729 --> 00:21:15,939 Here's your dumped, fuckers! Here's your dumped, bastards! 365 00:21:16,025 --> 00:21:18,185 Sebastián. Sebastián. 366 00:21:18,861 --> 00:21:21,741 You can go fuck yourself. 367 00:21:22,323 --> 00:21:25,743 Go fuck yourself, you bastard! 368 00:21:28,997 --> 00:21:31,117 There's something called freedom of the press! 369 00:21:31,207 --> 00:21:33,417 -I'm not doing anything, Sebastián. -Let him go. 370 00:21:33,501 --> 00:21:35,251 I told him to propose in private. 371 00:21:42,010 --> 00:21:44,930 Where the hell did that guy go? 372 00:21:45,013 --> 00:21:46,763 I hope he didn't drown in a sink. 373 00:21:46,848 --> 00:21:51,058 -Don't joke about those things. -We still haven't found him. 374 00:21:51,936 --> 00:21:53,436 Sebastián! 375 00:21:53,521 --> 00:21:55,111 Sebastián! 376 00:21:57,025 --> 00:21:59,935 -We should also look for Lucía. -Didn't you see the video? 377 00:22:00,028 --> 00:22:02,028 That was a low blow for her too. 378 00:22:02,113 --> 00:22:05,913 She shit on all of us. Forget her. 379 00:22:05,992 --> 00:22:08,452 Do you want to stone her in public? 380 00:22:08,536 --> 00:22:11,786 -That whore. -Don't call her that, dude. 381 00:22:11,873 --> 00:22:12,793 She's your friend . 382 00:22:14,459 --> 00:22:16,789 I don't get it. This is totally fucked up. 383 00:22:16,878 --> 00:22:21,378 Society has to understand that monogamy is a myth. 384 00:22:21,466 --> 00:22:25,256 Cheating isn't such a big deal, it can happen to anybody. 385 00:22:25,344 --> 00:22:29,274 -Don't give me one of your TED Talks. -It can happen to anyone. 386 00:22:31,184 --> 00:22:33,064 That woman doesn't deserve you. 387 00:22:33,686 --> 00:22:35,856 You didn't deserve for this to happen. 388 00:22:36,564 --> 00:22:39,034 I have a neighbor who can teach her a lesson. 389 00:22:39,692 --> 00:22:41,492 Make her pay for what she did. 390 00:22:44,030 --> 00:22:45,280 No. 391 00:22:51,079 --> 00:22:52,579 I can give you a blow job. 392 00:22:53,039 --> 00:22:54,289 -What? -I'm good at it. 393 00:22:54,665 --> 00:22:56,915 No, I don't think so. 394 00:22:57,001 --> 00:22:59,001 No, thanks, that's really sweet. 395 00:23:00,004 --> 00:23:04,434 But, no. It's not you, I'm just not ready for that yet. 396 00:23:05,927 --> 00:23:07,927 Hey, hey! 397 00:23:08,805 --> 00:23:10,005 What the fuck? 398 00:23:10,098 --> 00:23:11,928 -Hey. -Where were you, man? 399 00:23:12,016 --> 00:23:13,636 We've been worried. 400 00:23:15,353 --> 00:23:17,153 What just happened? 401 00:23:17,814 --> 00:23:19,864 I thought I knew her. 402 00:23:19,941 --> 00:23:22,321 Sebas, stop torturing yourself. 403 00:23:22,401 --> 00:23:25,701 If it happened to me, I'd want to know why. 404 00:23:25,780 --> 00:23:29,120 Don't try to justify her, what she did was wrong. 405 00:23:29,200 --> 00:23:31,450 -That chick is canceled. -Yeah. 406 00:23:31,536 --> 00:23:36,916 You're free to do whatever you want, bro. You can be a monk, or fuck whoever you want. 407 00:23:36,999 --> 00:23:38,919 I don't want to do any of that! 408 00:23:39,001 --> 00:23:41,301 This just happened 15 minutes ago. 409 00:23:41,379 --> 00:23:43,169 It's a shame... 410 00:23:43,673 --> 00:23:45,223 It was so profitable. 411 00:23:46,884 --> 00:23:49,014 I don't know where I went wrong. 412 00:23:50,847 --> 00:23:52,677 I thought she was the one. 413 00:23:52,765 --> 00:23:54,925 Now that video will be all over the Internet. 414 00:23:55,017 --> 00:23:58,727 Someone will post a coach's dick pick and people will forget. 415 00:23:58,813 --> 00:24:03,073 Don't worry. We'll find that creep and kick his ass. 416 00:24:03,151 --> 00:24:05,781 You know, this was actually a miracle. 417 00:24:05,862 --> 00:24:08,322 Being single nowadays is great! 418 00:24:08,406 --> 00:24:11,236 I didn't want to be single, dude. 419 00:24:11,325 --> 00:24:13,865 But you don't really have a choice. 420 00:24:13,953 --> 00:24:17,123 It's fun to be single. You were with her for 10 years. 421 00:24:17,206 --> 00:24:23,876 This is a chance for you to ask yourself: Who is Sebastián? To find yourself. 422 00:24:23,963 --> 00:24:27,553 What do you know about commitment? You don't commit to anyone. 423 00:24:27,633 --> 00:24:29,593 I don't commit to anyone, but I give myself. 424 00:24:29,677 --> 00:24:32,597 Sebas, I understand your pain. Relax. 425 00:24:35,975 --> 00:24:36,975 I don't know. 426 00:24:39,145 --> 00:24:41,475 I thought we'd be together forever. 427 00:24:44,025 --> 00:24:47,355 I thought we had figured it out, talk about a shitty twist. 428 00:24:47,445 --> 00:24:49,565 Life isn't a movie, man. 429 00:24:49,655 --> 00:24:51,235 I know, but... 430 00:24:55,411 --> 00:24:57,661 I'm a good guy, aren't I? 431 00:25:00,958 --> 00:25:04,628 It's like all my instincts failed at the same time. 432 00:25:07,840 --> 00:25:09,630 I don't have her... 433 00:25:10,801 --> 00:25:12,851 And I don't have a career. 434 00:25:12,929 --> 00:25:13,759 Hey, hey! 435 00:25:13,846 --> 00:25:16,846 -You have us, dude. -We're your family. 436 00:25:16,933 --> 00:25:18,643 -Exactly! -We love you, you idiot. 437 00:25:18,935 --> 00:25:20,935 What am I going to do? 438 00:25:21,020 --> 00:25:23,520 You can move in with me and Fish. 439 00:25:23,606 --> 00:25:27,186 -Hey! Hey, that's a good idea. -Great! 440 00:25:27,276 --> 00:25:32,366 It'll be fun. We'll stay up every night watching Doogie Howser. 441 00:25:32,448 --> 00:25:36,738 -Gonzi, Fishy, Sebi, and Hemingway. -That'll be cool! 442 00:25:36,827 --> 00:25:38,537 -It'll be cool. -Where's Hemingway? 443 00:25:39,997 --> 00:25:41,997 Shit! Hemingway! 444 00:25:43,000 --> 00:25:44,590 No! Don't do it! 445 00:25:44,669 --> 00:25:46,709 No, Hemingway! Don't do it! 446 00:25:48,256 --> 00:25:50,126 Please don't, Hemingway! 447 00:25:50,216 --> 00:25:52,676 Why did you do it, you damn fucking dog? 448 00:25:58,307 --> 00:26:01,347 HOW TO SURVIVE BEING SINGLE 33348

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