All language subtitles for How To Sell Drugs Online s01e01_English

-A guy who sells drugs on the Internet.
-He's gone!

That's probably how you imagined it.

But I'm sorry to disappoint you.

That petty criminal there isn't me.

But rather one of my many copycats.

What did the boy do?

Let's see.

He didn't adequately secure
his shop's database

from investigators' injection attacks.

And he was constantly bragging about
his "part-time job" as a flirting tactic.

Not ideal.

If you're selling large quantities
of drugs on the Internet,

there's one thing you should never do--

tell total strangers about it.

Unless, of course,
Netflix calls and tells you

they want to do a series about your life.

Good morning!

-What's that book?
-My welcome-back gift.

"Moritz: Skype later?"

-Marie!
-"Lisa: No, I can't."

Is this your whole WhatsApp history?

Yes. From the year that she was gone.

How creepy is that?

Goodbye, come back safe.

Hey! Welcome back
to the land of limited opportunities!

-Thanks.
-Wow, you look wrecked.

-Same old Moritz. Thank you!
-Please, no phones here.

If I'm gone, they've found the bomb.

Yeah, I just wanted to ask when I can
give you your welcome-home present?

Moritz, our connection's really bad.
Can we just talk later?

Wait. Okay. Now it's better.

I was going to give it to you
at the airport, but...

-So, young lady, hello?
-...since the flight was so delayed,

-I thought--
-Wait a second.

We have to look in here, too.

Here. Have fun.

There's nothing inside.

Is everything okay?

I wanted to talk about this later
in person, but--

Please end the conversation now.

Please, this is really important!

Well...

You know...

I think I need some time
to myself right now.

It has nothing to do with you, I...

It's just, I'm more scared now
of coming back

than I was of leaving a year ago.

So I--

Maybe for now, could we take a break?

-Hang up and close the suitcase.
-Sorry.

A NETFLIX ORIGINAL SERIES

Hi, I am Moritz Zimmermann.

I'm 17 years old

and this is my generation.

Generation Z.

Everyone here has the entirety
of mankind's knowledge in their pockets.

They could become famous
with a single click,

or change the world
without leaving their bedroom.

Limitless technological possibilities.

And what do we do with it?
Face swap!

No one tries to be special anymore.
And why should they?

Online, you can pretend you have
the most exciting life in the world,

-when in reality...
-Shit!

Well...

And because I don't go along with it,
I'm an outsider.

Fine with me. After all,
everyone successful used to be a nerd.

Guys like us, who everyone saw as losers

until eventually it clicks,
and they prove everyone wrong.

-Are you coming?
-This, by the way, is the day

it clicked for me.

If I log in to her account, that means
we don't trust each other anymore.

You tell your best friend
that your girlfriend dumped you

only after hours of cross-examination,
and you're talking about trust?

We're just taking a break!

Google says that "taking a break"
is breaking up for cowards.

Maybe you should just forget about her
for a few months.

-Are you even listening to me?
-Yes.

Now we can finally really
bust our asses for MyTems.

Then when we're millionaires,
Lisa will come running back.

That's how women are.

Yeah, maybe.

Or she has someone new.

-Who's that?
-Dan?

Dan, the guy who supplies
half the school with drugs.

The brother of Melanie, with the tits.

You know Melanie with the tits, right?

Since when does Lisa hang out
with guys like that?

Tall, handsome, popular.
Yeah, not really her type.

Right.

"Daniel Riffert. Goes by 'Dan.'"

Eighteen years old.
Goes around shirtless, even in April.

What a dipshit.

His father played for the national team
for about two seconds.

His mom manages
the Rinseln Savings Bank.

Typical rich kid.

But his parents want him
to earn his own money like they did.

The perfect family.

He spent six weeks in South America
last summer.

Of course he did.
Super intense time.

Life-changing experiences.

Does Capoeira and goes jogging
five times a week.

But not as fast as you'd think.

He's gluten intolerant,
uses too many emoticons,

and likes realgrumpycat
and the national team on Facebook.

What an asshole. And--

Fucking Rinseln. No reception again.

Let's just focus on the pitch, okay?

Otherwise,
I'll want to "take a break," too.

Hey, Moritz.

We're sitting over there.

Moritz? Hello?!

-What?
-I spent 689 hours

programming what is likely
the most advanced, most secure,

and hottest online shop system
in the world.

So?

It has the password stored for the MyTems
shop and everything else on my server.

In case I...

In case he dies.

That's the thing about Lenny.

According to his doctors,
he should be dead by now.

So he stopped
asking his doctors about it.

The PIN is the date
we first had the idea for MyTems.

-Okay.
-What do you mean, "Okay"?

I give you the key to my Sistine Chapel,
and you just say "Okay"?

-Okay.
-This pitch is really important to me!

Don't fuck it up!

Just so I understand correctly,

there are people who pay real money
for computer game swords?

Obviously! How else would you kill
a Level 100 Blood Elf Paladin?

INNOVATION COMPETITION

It's true. One billion people
across the globe

play online games
such as World of Warcraft...

League of Legends, or Fortnite.

And that's our big opportunity.

We're the eBay for online gamers.

The eBay for online gamers! Wow!

INNOVATION COMPETITION

Yes.

Until now,
if you wanted to trade rare items

or successful accounts for online games,

you had to go into shady Darknet forums

somewhere between drugs,
real weapons, and freak sex.

We proudly present...

MyTems! "Trade game items online."

Looking for a chromatic sword?

Only a total moron would pass that up.

Sorry. That was your time.
Thank you very much.

Wait a second, please.
We'll take a quick photo, okay?

Next will be "I love Rinseln," 7B.

And smile!

Great. Keep it up!

And breathe!

Has he already contacted you?

This happens to be
the expression you make

when you realize that you don't know
your own girlfriend anymore.

For those of you who,
like me at that point,

don't have a clue what those pills are,
and what's in them,

put your phone down
and listen to Lenny's mother.

It will be important later.

Everyone else can press
the "skip" button.

Methylenedioxy-N-methylamphetamine,
or MDMA for short,

is the main psychoactive agent
in the party drug ecstasy.

The pills come in all shapes and colors.

And they all have different additives
and MDMA contents.

In the best case,
it keeps you up all night,

in the worst case,
it lands you in the emergency room.

The effects set in
after about 20 minutes.

Your brain releases huge quantities
of serotonin, noradrenaline and dopamine,

which means,
your body produces pure bliss.

Your blood pressure rises, you're awake,
attentive and extremely empathetic.

You experience every feeling
more intensely.

Freedom, tenderness, love.

And the downside?

How do you think you'd feel
the next morning

after your brain has blown
its entire supply of happiness hormones?

Do you maybe want to dip your toes in,
or is it your time of the month again?

Say hi to Lenny. I can give you two
a ride home, by the way.

What are you two doing here? Get moving.

Okay, last few minutes!

One, two, three.

Hey, I just messaged you.

I'll get some.
I'm meeting my secret source today anyway.

Well, it's the only source in Rinseln.

Lisa, can we talk a second?

-Hi.
-Hey, I'm Dan.

-Yes, I know.
-And you are?

Moritz.

Lisa's boyfriend.

Wow, crazy. I thought you were--

-We're taking a break.
-We're taking a break.

Can we talk?

Okay, everyone get changed!

I gotta go, sorry. See you later.

Yeah, okay.

See you around, Maurice!

Yes, I know. The swimsuit is distracting.

But can we concentrate on the facts
for a moment?

My girlfriend is throwing
a welcome-back party I'm not invited to.

And she didn't ask me, but rather
the good-looking school dealer,

to get drugs for everyone.
And to keep an eye on them!

Fuck!

It's annoying, you have to re-calibrate
and heat the printing bed every time.

Why?

Because of warping, men!

You're totally clueless!

When you're done, put the 3D-printer back.

And when you want to use it again,
ask the man with the magic key.

Lenny? I need your help.

Just on a scale of 1 to 10,

how little does it matter to you
that you drove MyTems off a cliff

because all you could think about
was Lisa?

You ran here?

I guess it really is important to you.

-I have a cramp!
-Lift your arms.

-What a pussy!
-You just focus on your dick.

It's about Lisa.

I really need your help.

If it doesn't work out,
I'll never mention her again. I promise.

We'll figure it out with MyTems.

Okay, pick me up at my house
with your car in two hours.

What's the plan?

Good question, Lenny.

The plan...

to win back my girlfriend by making sure
that Daniel Riffert

shows up at the party empty-handed.

-That's your plan?
-Yes.

Okay, Moritz. How sure are you?

Fifty-five.

You're only 55 percent sure
that Daniel buys his drugs here?

Look, Lenny.

Daniel posts all his jogging results.

He always runs at five p.m.,
the same route every time.

But on Mondays,
he stops at this pizzeria-- Cavalli--

for about one hour.

-Maybe he goes riding here.
-Riding?

There's not a single horse
on his Instagram.

Moritz, it's a pizzeria. Carbs!

-Cheat day.
-That's what I thought at first, too.

But after that, he runs for 45 minutes
at eight miles an hour.

Then he picks it up here
and eats it later.

Cold pizza? After running
through half of Rinseln with it?

Besides, he lives by Pinocchio Pizza,
and it has five stars on Yelp.

Okay, Sherlock.

And that’s enough for you to go in there
and order a pizza a la MDMA?

Wait. I'm not finished.

Daniel fucking Riffert, Mr. Perfect,
is allergic to gluten.

Okay, good point.

And if anything goes wrong,
I have something of a Plan B.

Okay, all set.

Can I help you?

Where is that in Italy?

-That's Albania!
-Nice.

I actually--

Everything on the table is one euro.

I heard that you...

that you sell ecstasy.

That you sell ecstasy.

-Fuck off.
-Yeah, okay.

I'd really like to buy some from you.

Let's just say I had what you want.

Give me one reason
why I should sell it to you.

Because for one...

And secondly, I don't know you.

-So, it's--
-And third...

you don't look like someone
who's ever had any fun in his life.

My girlfriend Lisa...

just came back from a year
in the US.

And she's totally changed.

Maybe it's the tap water over there.
I've heard they pump it full of hormones.

Anyway, now she's back

and she wants a break
from our relationship.

She's suddenly into party drugs and a guy
who's way better-looking than me.

Not that Lisa cares about that, but...

it does make you think...

as a young man.

So I thought as a welcome-back gift,
I could get her some ecstasy.

To show her that now I'm open
to all kinds of fun.

And because I'm convinced
that it's the best way to win her back.

Right?

How much do you want?

All of it.

I wish I were invited to that party.

Here. That's all I got.

But I'll need another five of those bills.

Would it be okay if I brought
the rest of the money later?

-No problem.
-Yeah?

-Sure.
-Really?

Of course not! Now fuck off.
Go back to Mommy.

Are you fucking insane?

-Did you just--?
-It's too late.

The photo's already on the cloud.

If I'm not out of here in two minutes,

that photo will be sent
to all my Facebook friends.

Including the GPS coordinates

and an explanation
of how you earn your living here.

Bullshit.

You have 100 seconds.

You just made a big mistake.
A very big mistake.

You have to understand,
this is an absolute emergency.

I'll pay you the rest of the money
very soon.

Promise.

He believed that?

I didn't know you were such a good liar.

-I could have programmed it for real.
-Sure.

But you don't have any Facebook friends.

So, Mr. Zimmermann,
did you shoot anyone yet this week?

No, not this week, for a change.

But you know,
police work is like fishing, actually.

They're always biting for one guy...

but for the other guy they don't bite.

Moritz.

But the thing is that...

the fish don't bite for one guy

so that the other guy can catch them.

Do you understand?

No one really knows
what's going on under the water.

Marie! Are you coming?

So, boys...
what's going down this evening?

You know your son.

We're going to Lisa's party.
We'll supply all the drugs,

and a bus full of hookers
is coming at midnight.

Lenny, you're such a character.

Moritz, that's enough.

-What did we say?
-No phones at the table.

Exactly.

I don't want linguine!

You know what? Let it ring.
We're eating dinner.

-What if it's important?
-We never get important calls!

-Answer it!
-Answer it yourself!

Text message received.

Hello, Mr. Zimmermann.

I have some
interesting information for you.

We don't know each other

but Daniel Riffert sells ecstasy
to students here at our school.

He's carrying drugs on him right now.

He is currently doing Capoeira training
at No. 12, Witt Street.

Wow, he's really hot!

-...received on Monday...
-Don't you have to go there?

"Imminent danger" or whatever?

To be honest,
I didn't understand where it is.

Capoeira. It's a martial art.

-Twelve Witt Street.
-Go get him, Dad!

Finally a bite!

Ute, we just got an anonymous tip.

Violation of the Narcotics Act.

Are you sure
you want to give that as a gift?

And where did you even
get the money for it?

Moritz, I asked you a question!

-From our project account.
-What?

From the MyTems account.

-I'll pay it back.
-Dude, are you insane?

-Lenny.
-Hi, Fritzi.

Moritz! What are you doing here?

-Aren't you and Lisa--?
-What's Daniel doing here?

Same thing he always does.
Look good, talk, and hand out drugs.

He's been bragging all night
that he was almost arrested.

But they couldn't prove anything.

He even sent around a selfie
he took with a cop. Look.

But they only found four pills on him.

I already saw that.

So that you can understand
how important all this is to me,

ever since the day my mother left me
sitting here in Rinseln,

Lisa has been the only woman
in my life that means something to me.

Mo, hi!

Feel my skin, it's really soft.

Feel it, really.

Can you come with me?
Forget that jerk for a second.

I brought you something.

-Relax, okay?
-Here.

-Come on.
-Hey!

I'm responsible for them.

Your negative vibes
will give them a bad trip,

and I'll have to clean up the mess.

Yeah.

What would we do without him?

Daniel Riffert.

With his protein shakes
and his stupid Capoeira,

and his constant shirtless photos

and 1,764 Instagram followers,

half of which are bought.

Yeah, what are you looking at?

Namaste to all the Riffert fans
at the click farm in India!

But you know what?

We smart people aren't impressed by that.

What's your point?

Lisa and I are going to the US
after we graduate.

Wow.

To study. Together.

And start careers.

And you know what happens
to super-popular guys like you?

What?

In a few years, you'll be collecting
dry cleaning for guys like me.

Asshole.

What makes you think
that you of all people

will ever achieve anything?

If I understood her properly, it wasn't
just your own mother who left you.

Even your girlfriend has realized
that you don't have any balls.

Oh, right, I mean your ex-girlfriend.

Okay, people, the party continues.

Yeah, I know.

Right now I look like the guy who will
pick up the dry cleaning for Daniel.

Let me know next time you use our money
to buy drugs for your girlfriend!

I thought we were a team!

The money will be back on our account
in three days! I promise!

FOR THE "FRESHLY BAKED"
MYTEMS CEO LOVE, MOM

But like I said...

And click.

Subtitle translation
by Isabelle Hönisch