All language subtitles for Brooklyn.Nine-Nine.S06E14.AMRAP+METCON+ION10+AMZN.NTb

So you guys are gonna tie up
the only microwave

for 20 minutes to make a frozen lasagna?

- Ballsy.
- You ignorant loser.

First of all, it's not
just a frozen lasagna,

it's a Mama Magglione's.

Second of all, it's gonna
take 21 1/2 minutes.

The box says 20, but we know
better than the box.

You see, this microwave
is a KitchenPro Max.

- Bit of a lightweight.
- It's only 1.2 kilowatts.

- Fine for popcorn.
- But we're talking about

a Mama Magglione's here.

Takes a lot to get mama hot.

She's a real size-queen.

Well, that started out fun,

and here we are at our normal
ending place: disgusting.

Uh-oh. Guys!

We have a major problem here.

- No garlic bread.
- Okay, we need to stay calm.

Let's think. The garlic bread
needs to go in the toaster oven

with eight minutes left on the lasagna.

Maybe we could run down
to the corner store and make it in time.

That just gives us 12 minutes

to go to a place and come back.

Mama Magglione.

We have to go now!

Okay, well,

good luck with that, weirdos.

Stupid piece of crap.

Rosa, come on.

You can't break a mouse in half.

Oh, wow, you did.

Scary. You really earn your rep.

Stupid Internet. The network's been down

all morning, and my girlfriend...

- Jocelyn.
- Right.

She's leaving town for two weeks.

Oh, is Jocelyn leaving town?
Where is Jocelyn going?

Dude, you forgot her name one time.

It's not a big deal.
You don't have to keep

proving you remember it.

That's not what's happening here.

I'm just saying it a lot,

because she's so important to me.

- Okay, what's her last name?
- Uh-oh.

- Mm-hmm. It's Pryce.
- Right.

She's leaving town for two weeks.

I want to send flowers
to her hotel room.

Aww, that's sweet.

I wish Amy would send me flowers.

Why is it taking Holt and this I.T. guy

so long to fix the Internet?

One Police Plaza sent him an hour ago.

Huh. Why does Holt look so worried?

What are you talking about?

He looks exactly like he always does.

To you, perhaps,

but I finally learned
how to read his emotions.

His lips are slightly pursed,

and he's blinking at
eight-second intervals

as opposed to his normal 10.

Oh, my God.

He's having a meltdown.

"Meltdown" seems excessive.

Yeah, it's a meltdown. Mark my words.

Hey, there, Captain. Everything okay?

No, I'm having a meltdown.

Props. That was amazing.

- Thanks. It was a lot of work.
- This is Sergeant Knox.

From Cyber Operations.

He's discovered the reason
for our network issues.

A hacker is attempting
to break into our servers.

Not all of them. Just the LACMI server.

- Well, that's good.
- No, Captain Holt's nostril

- just twitched. It's bad.
- It's devastating.

- Props again.
- Thanks, again.

The LACMI server holds
clearance-protected information,

including the names of
our undercover agents.

If it's compromised, people
could lose their lives.

Okay, but isn't the server secure?

Yes, but the hacker's
already used an ARP

to resolve the host name
with the DNS server.

Uh-huh. ARP. DNS. Totally
following what you're saying.

Right now, they're trying
to get root access

by connecting the OSI network
to the data-link.

You know, I'm a bit
of a computer nerd myself,

but could you, maybe dumb it
down a bit for my friends here?

They're almost through our defenses.

If we can't stop them, they'll
be inside of our server in...

19 minutes.

Mama Magglione.

Sync & corrections by emeline-whovian
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A countdown clock, green text
on a black background:

we are in full-on action-movie mode.

Now all I need is my
no-nonsense captain to tell me

to focus, because time is running out.

- Peralta.
- Yes?

You have something in your teeth.

It's, uh, quite off-putting.

What? No. "Time is running out."

I fed you your line.

No one ever has something
in their teeth in a movie.

Watch a movie, stupid Holt.

Damn it, I tried to remove
the server from the chain,

but the hacker blocked the protocol.

Why don't you just unplug it?

That's what I do any time
I'm having computer trouble.

And also I code a lot. Java, mainframe.

This guy knows what I'm talking about.

The NYPD servers have
internal backup batteries.

Even if we unplug them, they'll
stay on for another two hours.

As a captain, I have an
override code I can use

to wipe the servers clean
so there'd be no information

for the hackers to steal,
but there's one problem, Jake.

- Yes, sir?
- You still have something

in your teeth.
You tried to get rid of it,

but it's made it much more prominent.

Why would you stop everything
just to tell me that?

It's very distracting.
Anyway, I can't use

my override code,
because doing so would delete

the entire evidence tracking database.

The NYPD only backs up that information

at the precinct level twice a year.

We would lose four months of evidence.

So what you're saying is that every perp

awaiting trial would walk free?

Exactly, and we have
hundreds of open cases.

Wiping the servers is not an option.

The only solution
is to track down the hacker.

How? It could be anywhere
in the world...

Osaka, Berlin, Macau, Stockholm.

Are you guys just gonna
keep letting me list cities

- I've lived in?
- Wait, the LACMI server

isn't wired to the Internet.
It's supposed to be offline.

How are they accessing it?

They must be going
through a physical AP.

Again, these guys don't get
computers like you and I, so...

It's not a remote connection.

The hacker's inside the building.

Let's mobilize.

Nobody in or out of the
building without authorization.

Check every inch of every floor.

- And, Jake.
- Oh, let me guess.

It's on another tooth now.
Is it somehow on my face?

No, what I was
going to say is, we only have

15 minutes left. You need to focus,

because time is running out.

Oh, yeah.

That's what the F I'm talking about.

Thank you, sir.

What's all this?

Drunken brawl broke out
between to sororities.

We're keeping the Lambda Nus up here,

and the Kappa Gamma Kappas
are in holding on two.

- They're all so mean.
- They're kids, Boyle.

I'm sure they're just scared.

Yeah, we're just scared kids.
Can we please go home now?

I'm sorry, we have
to process you, but I promise

we'll go as fast as we can.

I hope you get shot in the line of duty.

- Oh, my God.
- All right.

Brush it off, Sarge,
we've got an emergency.

There's a hacker in the building.

Look for anyone you don't
recognize using a computer,

or plugged in to a port.

I initiated lockdown protocol.

I'll search the fourth floor.
Peralta, Diaz,

start on one, work your way up.

Jeffords, take Boyle, start on three,

- work your way down.
- On it.

I'll grab the keys to the first floor.

Smart.

Ames, I love you,
but I can't talk right now.

I just got an alert that
the Nine-Nine is on lockdown.

- I'm on my way.
- Wait, aren't you at the dentist?

Yeah, I left. It's fine.
It's a new hygienist,

and to be honest,

her scraping technique was a joke.

We have 14 minutes to find a hacker.

You're not gonna get back in time.

But everybody else is there, right?

I mean, it seems weird
to have this big thing

happen without me.

We talked about this, Amy.

You have an unhealthy fear
of missing out on work.

- You have FOMOW.
- This isn't FOMOW.

It's not like
I'm freaking out or anything.

Out of my way, you old bitch!
This cab is mine.

I'll be there in 10 minutes. I love you.

Don't solve it without me.

I got the keys. Let's go.

- Jocelyn.
- Jocelyn Pryce, hey.

What are you doing here?

Shouldn't you be at the airport?

Yeah, uh, I wanted to stop
and see you on the way there.

- I think we need to talk.
- Why? Is something wrong?

I should've done this last
night, but I chickened out.

We need to break up.

Ugh. Mama Magglione.

You want to break up?

But I just met your college friends.

Are you telling me I had
to talk to Matt for nothing?

- Rosa.
- I thought you liked Matt.

Matt is a nightmare. He kept saying
"hashtag tell me about it."

We should really get going.

Listen, I just don't understand
why this is happening.

Look, I love being with you,

but how often am I actually with you?

- We're together every night.
- Unless you're at work,

or doing work, or thinking about work.

It's like you never have time for me.

I'm sorry, but Rosa
doesn't have time for you.

We have a really important work thing.

That was bad. Let me try rephrasing it.

You are not as important as Rosa's job.

Oh, wow. That was way worse.

Look, we just have to take
care of this one thing.

It's an emergency.
Then I'll be right back

and we can talk about this.

I really have to get to the airport.

- Please.
- Okay, fine.

But I'm leaving in 10 minutes.

Okay, just wait in the break room.

Don't sit on the couch.
It's full of farts.

- You okay?
- Yeah, I'm great.

I love being dumped. It's super great.

I think you're being sarcastic,

but it's hard to tell with your
voice the way it always is.

We just checked the third floor.
We didn't find anyone.

- We're on our way to one.
- You didn't even start yet?

Rosa took a long time getting ready.

You know how ladies be preppin'.

Ow! I was just covering up the truth

so it wouldn't be awkward.

Ooh, did something awkward happen?

I can probably relate. Dish, bish.

Rosa got dumped out of the blue

because she cares so much
about her job and doesn't spend

enough time with Jocelyn.

Ow! There's no winning with you.

Oh, so you got dumped,
and you didn't see it coming.

Oh, brother, you are in Boyle Country.

Here's what you're gonna want to do.

- Come on, Boyle.
- Beg her to take you back,

and don't be afraid to cry.
I'm talking tears and snot.

Quinn, did you get the alert?

Yeah, but I haven't seen
anyone unusual down here.

I mean, other than 1,000
Kappa Gamma Kappas.

At least you didn't
have to deal with Lambda Nus.

Those girls are savages.

Right? We're the victims here.

We have a nighttime event, and
if we don't make our blowouts,

then we'll all look disgusting,

and nobody will give
any money to the kids,

or dogs, or whatever the charity is.

It's to buy shoes for poor
people so they can get jobs.

- Yeah.
- We'll do our best,

but it's possible
you're gonna miss your event.

That's too bad, 'cause you
could use some decent shoes.

What? Terry got these at Aldo.

- Was it buy one, get one?
- No, it wasn't.

It was a three-for-one
Labor Day doorbuster.

- Makes sense.
- Come on.

Nobody on the fourth floor.

Three is clear. We're finishing up two.

I gotta get out of here

before the sorority girls notice my tie.

Just regroup in my office.

- Go for Hitch.
- Hitchcock, damn it.

I meant to call Peralta.

We're in the middle of a crisis.

- Oh, no. Is it the lasagna?
- The what?

Don't play dumb with me, Raymond.

What's wrong with the lasagna?

I have no idea what
you're talking about.

What is it? What's wrong
with the lasagna?

- Is it bubbling over?
- He won't tell me.

Captain, give us the damned information.

Is it bubbling over?

I don't have time for these shenanigans.

- What's the problem?
- He wouldn't say.

Oh, no. Then it must be bad.

Call Jake. He'll tell us the truth.

- Hitchcock?
- Give it to us straight, man.

- What's going on?
- Uh, just searching

- the first floor.
- Searching the first floor?

Why is the lasagna on the first floor?

Why is the lasagna on the first floor?

What? Are you talking about?
The lasagna is fine.

Oh, thank God. He says it's fine.

Oh, you're a saint, Jakey. I love you.

Okay. Holt's texting me. Love you, too.

Rosa! We gotta go up to Holt's.

Is this not done yet? Ugh.

Jocelyn leaves in eight minutes,

and I don't want things
to end like this.

Wow. Way to be vulnerable.

I thought for sure you'd write her off

the second she said
she wanted to break up.

Yeah, I did. She's dead to me.

Wait? Then why are you so anxious
to get back up and talk to her?

Because I have a plan.

I'm gonna beg her to stay,
change whatever it is I need to change,

then once our relationship
is stronger than ever,

I'm gonna dump her ass so quick.

It's gonna be brutal.

Okay, I'm gonna try and put this nicely.

That is psychotic.

Okay, maybe not psychotic,
but it's like something

the lady from "Killing Eve" would do.

Not Sandra Oh, Villanelle.
You know, the crazy one

who stabs everyone with her hairpin.

But... have you still
not watched "Killing Eve"?

I've told you about it so many times.

Look, I've never lost a breakup,

and I'm not starting now. I'm 12-0.

I'm always the dumper, never the dumpee.

I just don't think every breakup

has a winner and a loser.

Sounds like somebody
who's lost all his breakups.

Not all.

Maybe like half, max.
Just... being generous.

Hey, Ames.

Cab was too slow. Decided to walk.

It's nice to take a little stroll.

You're clearly running at full speed.

Whatever.

- How's it going there?
- Not great.

We still haven't found the hacker.

Oh, super. I mean... oh, no.

- Is Amy FOMOWing?
- Of course not.

Big time.

Okay, I gotta go, babe.
We're headed to Holt.

Don't you dare hang up on me!

I am part of this.

Rosa, this is dumb. I'm just gonna go.

No, no, no. You promised me more time.

I still have seven minutes.

I really don't want to miss my flight,

and I cannot physically stand

the way that room smells anymore.

Just breathe through your mouth.

Please, just stay here.
I'll be right back.

We searched everywhere.

- No hacker.
- Maybe he camouflaged himself.

Maybe he's a real-life
Peeta Mellark, out there

- looking like a river rock.
- I hate to say it,

but maybe it's time we start thinking

- about erasing the server.
- No, not until the last possible minute.

- What else can you do?
- I've been trying to pinpoint him.

I've been making my way
through the server sockets,

trying to determine which
port he's plugged into.

What's going on? I can't hear anything.

Turn me around. I'm missing everything.

Part of the team. What's up, team?

Is Sergeant Santiago
suffering from FOMOW?

No.

What's happening?

I think the hacker just
opened the holding cell.

Mama Magglione.

Oh, no. They're running free.

Everyone, cover up
your worst physical attributes.

It's no use.

They could always find new ones.

Why would the hacker
open the holding cell?

Maybe he's trying
to create a distraction.

I think he can see that I'm
closing in on his location.

Then keep doing that. The rest of you,

get them back into holding.

Oh, come on. Get down from there.

Do you know who my father is?
He's in business.

That's where you actually
make money at your job.

I make money. I make good money.

That can't be true.

Otherwise, you wouldn't
still have that chin.

What? Nobody ever said
anything about my chin?

Boyle, is something wrong
with Terry's chin?

- I don't want to get involved.
- Oh, my God. It's true.

How is she running so fast
in those shoes?

She's too drunk to feel any pain.

- Open up.
- No.

You are trapped in a very
small room, and we can see you.

What's your plan here?

Shut up, I'm trying to think.

If you come in here,

I'll bite you with this
weird mouth thing.

That is a staple remover,

and it's shocking you don't know that.

Sorry, I'm not a secretary.

I don't have time for this.

My girlfriend leaves in three minutes.

You are ruining my life.

You're ruining my life.

I missed my Drybar appointment

without calling to cancel first.

They keep record of those things.

Oh, my God, neither of your
lives are being ruined.

I told you I'm not on board
with your psycho plan

to destroy your girlfriend.

I'm not gonna destroy her.
I actually want her back.

I really love her, Jake.

What? Rosa, then why'd you
say all that stuff

about winning the breakup?

Because it's weak and
humiliating to love someone.

I lied to make myself
feel strong and normal.

Right, that's definitely
what came across,

how normal you were being.

Don't let her go.

You guys, I used to have
this boyfriend, Jason,

then we broke up 'cause
I got drunk at Spring Fling

and passed out in a bush, and
he took too long to find me,

and now he's gone and it's like,

there's no one to find me
when I pass out in a bush.

I'm not sure that totally applies here.

No, she's right.

I can't let Jocelyn go.

Can you handle this without me?

Yeah, it's under control.

Go get Jocelyn back.

Jocelyn Pryce.

Do you need to use a phone
to make a call?

Gross, I don't know any phone numbers.

Where the hell did Jocelyn go?

Elevator. Tears and snot.

Where are you going?
I still have one minute left.

I'm leaving because
it's clearer to me than ever

that your job is more important
to you than I am.

That's not true!

Sorry, ma'am, I can't
let anyone in or out.

She's with me.

You don't even apologize blow me off.

You just text "Double homicide TTYL".

Sometimes I add
those little heart emojis.

You know how uncomfortable
that is for me.

I'm sorry. My job is hard.

Yeah, it is, and it's
important, and you help people,

but I need more.

I promise I'll try.

Honestly, I just don't see it changing.

Move, move, move!

Oh, no, why are you outside?

Is it over? Did we catch the hacker?

No, I have a personal thing
that's more important to me.

Oh, yeah, work-life balance.
I have that, too.

- Sorry, I can't...
- Andrew, it's me!

Come on, come on, come on.

Got it.

What?

- Time check.
- Five minutes, ten seconds.

- It's over.
- Don't say that.

We'll never get the garlic
bread toasted in time.

- We can, and we will.
- How?

We'll set the oven to 500.

Are you insane? It'll burn.

We'll wrap it in foil.

The foil will stick to the cheese.

That's a risk we'll have to take.

Move it.

- Hey, you made it.
- Yeah.

We finally got all the
Lambda Nus back into holding.

Who are the Lambda Nus?

Doesn't matter.
I'll read your notes later.

I didn't take any notes.

What the hell, Jake?
Do you even love me?

Says the woman who
never once sent me flowers.

Never mind, uh, we still
haven't found the hacker,

but the cyber guy is getting close.

Okay, let's check in with Holt.

Hold on to him, girl.

He seems pretty sweet, and you
guys are like both sevens.

Oh, come on.

We only have two minutes left.

I'm telling you, I can't find him.

Captain, maybe it's time
to face reality.

We have to erase the servers.

I'll initiate the sequence for you.

It just needs your passcode.

Perhaps you're right. How depressing.

I never would've thought that
typing an intricate sequence

of numbers from memory
would bring such sadness.

Hi, I'm Sergeant Santiago.

I'm sure these guys have
told you all about me already.

Long story short, nothing
happens around here without me.

What is that?

We just got an NOS ping
from the first floor.

The hacker is in room 103.

Mama Magglione.

Go, go! Room 103!

What are we gonna do?

It's still frozen in the middle!

Well, then turn up the temp.

It's already at 500. It's maxed out.

Then set the mother[bleep] to broil!

Okay! Geez.

I thought you said you searched
the entire first floor.

I did. I even checked
the ceiling for clingers.

Hey, who's that guy from Cyber?

Sergeant Knox. We've been
talking computers all day.

Pretty technical stuff. I kept up.

His face is really familiar.
I can't place him.

It's empty.

And there's nothing plugged
in to the Internet port.

But Knox said he got a NOS ping.

I mean, NOSes don't just
ping themselves, guys.

Jake, stop. You're not fooling anybody.

You don't anything about computers.

Oh, my God.

You're right. I'm not fooling anybody.

I was fooled, Jakey.
You're my computer boy.

No, no, no. I don't know anything

about computers. None of us do.

And Knox could tell that.

So he knew that we wouldn't catch on

if he just made stuff up.

What if the reason
we can't find the hacker

is because there is no hacker?

Why would Knox lie about that?

What if he doesn't actually care
what's on the LACMI servers?

Maybe his real goal
is to just trick Holt

into erasing all the servers.

He might just be trying
to delete some evidence.

So you think he's a criminal.

Oh, my God. We have to go right now.

I know how I know Knox.

He's the guy from the security footage
in the Avery Street murder.

Are you sure?

Yes, he shaved his beard,
but it's definitely him.

- We have less than a minute.
- Call Holt.

Knox is right next to him.
He'll hear everything.

Here, I'll text him.

I don't get it.

Holt was about to erase the servers.

If that's what Knox wanted,

why did he stop him

and say the hacker was in room 103?

I don't know. Maybe to get rid of us.

No, to get rid of you.

The second you showed up
in Holt's office,

he sent us away
and the holding cell doors,

they opened when I walked in
with Amy on my phone.

He must've known
that she would recognize him.

Why is this taking so long to send?

What's going on?

We're running out of time here.

Uh, sorry, it's uh...
from my husband, Kevin.

Well, all due respect, but
you don't have time for that.

You've got 15 seconds before the hacker

is inside the server.

Uh, yes, uh... it's just that

Kevin just texted me some

hot goss about our favorite
reality TV star.

10 seconds.

Your agents' lives are at stake.

- Eight, seven...
- Oh, I understand.

I just have to find out
about the hot goss.

"How certain are you?
Sincerely, Raymond Holt."

"100 percent, sincerely"...

Why am I doing that part? Send.

Okay, it said delivered.

Make way, make way.

Peralta, Santiago,
you'll be happy to know

that I did not erase the server.

Oh, thank God.

But sad to know that Knox caught on

and is now holding me at gunpoint.

Why not lead with that?

Nobody has to get hurt.

Just put your guns down,
and put your hands in the air.

Hey! I said put your guns down,

and get your hands in the air.

The bread, it's gonna burn.

Guys, do what he says.

I'll buy you all
the garlic bread you want.

We're gonna hold you to that, Sarge.

Knox, you're pointing a gun
at an NYPD captain.

Have you really thought this through?

This is not my fault.

You were supposed to be at the dentist.

What? How did you...

You called me.

He called me.

He said he had a tip
for the officer in charge

of the Avery murder.
I said I could meet any time

except for this morning
because of the dentist.

I had it all planned out.

Guess you didn't count on my FOMOW.

Yeah, that's right. It's crippling.

Oh, picking a weird time,

but I'm glad you're finally owning it.

Here's what's gonna happen.

The captain and I are gonna
walk out of here real slow.

No one's gonna move a muscle.

Everyone's gonna be okay.

Now we're just gonna move.

He's down. He's down. We got him.

Jeffords, get him into holding.

With pleasure.

You're about to have a really bad day.

Give me that.

Look at his pants, ladies.

They're relaxed fit.

Uh-oh. Is that a braided belt?

Whoa, what happened?

You know what, forget it.
I'll just read Amy's notes.

Why aren't you guys
on your way to the airport?

Oh, I'm gonna miss my flight,
but it's worth it.

It means a lot that Rosa bailed
on all this just for me.

- Aww.
- You did what, Diaz?

Now, sir, I told her it was okay.

If you're gonna be mad
at anyone, be mad at me.

Okay, I am mad at you.

What? No.

I didn't think you
were really gonna be mad.

That's... that backfired.
Be mad at Rosa.

Worst morning ever.

Yeah, it was stressful,
but we got the guy.

Surprised you two are taking it so hard.

We were talking about our lunch,

you self-absorbed son-of-a-bitch.

- Come on.
- Look at this bread.

It's completely inedible.

There's not even any soft parts

in the middle we can pull out.

Title of your sex tape?

We cooked that lasagna for nothing.

- Nothing!
- Okay.

But have you ever considered

eating lasagna with no garlic bread?

We've...

Never done that before.

I guess maybe we could give it a try.

What do you think, Hitchcock?

What the hell.

I had a feeling something crazy

was gonna happen today.

There you go.

It's almost ready.

Mama Magglione.

_

Mmm. Mmm.

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