All language subtitles for Black.Monday.S02E03.iNTERNAL.1080p.WEB.H264-AMRAP

♪ Ooh ♪

♪ It's Showtime tonight ♪

Previously on
Black Monday...

Don't you want revenge
on all those people

who fucked you over?

I mean, Dawn and Blair...

me.

FBI!

What the fuck, Connie?
Huh?

I told you,
I got you.

Nah, man, my plan is
to disappear to the Maldives.

It's basically Kokomo.

Happiest I've ever been
in my life.

The reason that I came
is, I'm worried about you.

So 800K is supposed to make me
completely forget the fact

that you fucked me over?

I got a crew now
called the Cabana Boys.

- Thanks, boss.
- We move a lot of weight.

Thanks, boss.

Randy kind of launched off
the pier

with my entire stash
in his backpack.

And now I owe $1 million

to the most violent cartel
in Miami.

I'm a fucking dead man.

Fuck that shit, Keith.

Tell me everything you know
about this cartel.

Six, zero.
Check up.

Ah! Hey!

- Fellas.
- Hey, Uncle Ro.

- What's up, Ro?
- Whoo-hoo-hoo!

- Oop me.
- All right.

Oh, shit.

Sorry about the garage.

I mean, I think I dented
the Cressida too.

Please, Ro, I'm pretty sure
you bought us that garage door.

The one before it
was a bead curtain.

Oh, yeah,
I remember that thing

looked like a two-car
psychic's office.

My bike kept getting
fucking stolen.

Yeah, 'cause you guys got
some shitty ass neighbors.

Hey, you watch your language.

Sorry.

Hey, Mom, can we go inside
and play Nintendo?

Yeah, get the fuck out of here.

- Ro!
- I mean, whatever she says.

Yes, boys.
Go ahead.

- See a lot of Charles in them.
- Yeah, tell me about it.

They don't listen
to anyone, either.

Except you.

They've loved
having you around.

Oh, I love being around.

You've done a great job
with them, really.

I certainly couldn't
have done it

without your help
all these years.

Yeah, about that.

Uh, sorry if I've been
a little light lately.

You know, I'm kind of going
through a minor career change.

- You know.
- Oh, we're good.

I promise.

Well, okay.

Oh, look what I found.

- Oh, my God.
- Look at you.

Look at Charles.
Man.

Yeah.
I really miss him.

At least when you got out
of prison,

you stayed out.

You made good.

Yeah, yeah.

Charles only got out
long enough

to not pull out twice.

- Oh.
- Uh-oh.

Oh, yeah, I'm gonna go.

Same time next week?

Oh, I wouldn't miss it.

Okay.

♪ upbeat music ♪

Please, Uncle Hugh.

I thought we were gonna go
to Disney World.

I want to ride Dumbo.

We just got to make
a quick stop, kiddo.

Rides cost money, honey.

Hey, girls.

Want to make a deposit?

That doesn't even make sense.

You'd be the one
making the deposit.

And ew.

How many times
do I have to tell you?

El Sastre is not someone
you negotiate with.

El Sastre is el loco.

Oh, no, no, I think El Loco
deals out of El Segundo,

not to be confused with
El Diablo from El Salvador.

Now, the real El
you got to worry about,

whoo, Ron Hubbard,
'cause that guy is out of his--

Are you fucking going on
a pun run right now?

Okay, El Sastre is loco, okay?

Crazy.
He's a fucking psycho.

Oh, really?
Sounds like a fucking pussy.

You know that sastre
means "tailor" in Spanish?

Yeah, 'cause he invented
the Colombian necktie.

So what?

Diane von Furstenberg invented
the wrap dress,

and she's got
bird bone's disease.

Just snap her neck like that.

Colombian necktie
is when they slit your throat,

and they pull your tongue
through the hole.

- Oh, shit.
- Yeah.

He also invented
the Colombian bow tie,

the Colombian "cumberbund"--

I think it's cummerbund.

And something called
the Colombian Daisy Dukes,

which I think
is scrotum-related.

Oh, well, you should
have worried about your sack

before you let a shark snarf
your stash, Keith.

Listen, you just need
to trust me, okay?

And maybe say thank you.

Okay, cool, totally.
You're right.

- Thank you.
- You're welcome.

It's very gracious of you,
and I really appreciate you

putting your ass
out on the line for me.

Yeah, you're my best friend.
What else am I gonna do, right?

Really?

That actually helps a lot,
you know?

'Cause I'm kind of walking
in here with, like,

way less money
than we actually owe.

It just would maybe help me
if I actually knew

the part I was playing.

- Oh, your part.
- Yeah.

Okay.

You play a coquettish young man

who's just whisked in
from the coast.

I mean, what the fuck
are you talking--your part?

What is this,
Starlight Express?

- I wish.
- Shut the fuck up, Dave.

Listen, your part is
dumb bald fuck number one.

Ah, and lookee here.
Dumb bald fuck number two.

- Lou!
- Gentlemen. How are you?

I believe I have something
for you.

- Oh!
- Keep that down.

Okay, uh, you guys are all set.

- Thank you.
- Enjoy.

So, um, how long do you think
this whole thing is gonna take?

- Oh, you got plans?
- Well, if you must know--

Jesus, are you crazy?

Keith, you could die in here.

We're negotiating
for your life.

Okay, you're the one who just
told me to chill, all right?

You're the one
that said trust you,

and I do trust you.

I trust you so much
that I assume

that at the end of this,
I will be alive enough

to take Randy
to the foot and ankle clinic.

Okay, all right,
just follow my lead, all right?

When I say, "Kick,"
you say, "How high?"

It's not Rockette science,
K-man.

Okay, okay.

I'm gonna die in this room.

God, you have got to relax,
Keith.

Jesus, this is a public place,
all right?

Bank manager's in my pocket.

Anything goes sideways,

the cops are gonna be here
inside of two minutes.

You see, I knew
this was too good to be true.

I should have known
that any day,

the other skate was gonna drop.

You know, just
as I was finally starting

to be happy, right?

Thriving small business,

sex with a gender that
I'm actually attracted to.

Sure, my family hates me,

so there's a little chicken
left on that bone,

but I have a new family,
you know,

with Dave and Andrusha and
Randy and Zach and Skids and--

you.

Maybe I don't deserve
to be happy.

- No.
- Yeah.

I hurt a lot of people, Twan.

No, you definitely don't
deserve to be happy.

I'm saying no.

Don't sit on that side
of the fucking table.

We're sitting on this side.

But you always say
face the door

for all the good chi and shit.

No, it's so I don't get shot
in the fucking back.

But today we're sitting here.
Come on.

♪ suspenseful music ♪

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I'm gonna die in this room.

It is a distinct possibility.

Can I have a nickel
for the gumball machine?

- Please?
- Oh, no change, sweetheart.

Oh, here's a nickel,
little miss.

Heck, here's another one
in case you get a white.

- Thanks.

Come right back
when you're done.

That was, um, thoughtful.
Thank you.

Ten cents for a smile
is a bargain.

♪ dramatic music ♪

- El Sastre--
- What the fuck?

I just wanted to offer you
a heartfelt and full--

- What did I say, Keith?
- You weren't leading.

- Does anyone speak Spanish?

Shut up.

♪ tense music ♪

I don't mean to interrupt,
but you can keep the bag too,

free of charge.

♪ upbeat music ♪

Next.

Not so fast, honey.
Could you give me a hand?

I got a weak ticker.

Sir? Next.

Next.

A white?
Aw, come on.

- You may kill them.
- I knew he spoke English!

What? That's your fucking
takeaway from that?

Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Take it easy, okay?

We're not short, okay?
We're not short.

speaking Spanish

Just let me explain, okay?

You have un minuto.

Okay.

So Keith tells me that you pay
a rate of 60 percent tax

to wash your cash.

So you make a million,
you're taking home 400K.

That's kind of
dogshit, right?

Now, if our money
were laundered at, say,

like, a decent 25 percent,

our 800 thou would still beat
the shit out of your millie.

Comprende?

- No?
- Keep talking.

You're running out
of fucking time.

Look, fuck this shit.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!

I'm just pulling out
my Toblerone.

What the fuck is up
with you and Toblerone?

- You fucking sponsored now?
- Will you just trust me?

I understood that.
Not nice.

You guys seem like
visual learners, okay?

So, uh, listen.
I mean, watch.

Little magic trick.

This is your million.
This is our 800 thou.

Now, let's tax your million
60 percent. Okay?

Then we'll tax
the 800 thou 25 percent.

You don't have
to fucking eat the pieces!

Will you let me do
what the fuck I'm doing?

So you tell me.

Would you rather have
your million minus 60 percent,

or our 800 thou
minus 25 percent?

Pretty simple, right?

In short, gentlemen,
we're not short.

In fact, you're short.

You owe us
a couple hundred grand.

One triangle, but we'll just
call it a late fee.

So, uh, one triangle
make us square?

That's your magic trick?

Making chocolate disappear?

We're the Cauca Cartel.

You think we don't know
less tax is better than more?

Finding a way
to get that 25 percent,

that is the real trick.

Well then, gentlemen,

please allow me to introduce
my favorite magician.

His name, Lou Dinowitz.

His friends call him Jewdini.

Hey, L--you're right there!

Twany, Twany, Twany!

Come on in, Lou.
- Bienvenidos--

- My honored guests.

- All right.
- They're a little touchy.

They're a little touchy.
Okay, okay, you know what?

Why don't you tell them about
your really special service?

Love to, but first,

can I interest you muchachos
in some nose tacos?

- My shoe's untied.
- Oh, fuck me.

Lou, okay, there's gonna be
time for that, Lou.

Come on.
Come on.

Tell them about
your laundromat services.

Oh, all right.
Easy peasy.

Uh, we take your dirty dollars,

fluff and fold them till
they're clean, spic--

- And span.

Of course, a few socks
are going to get, you know,

lost in the dryer,
say, uh, 25 percento.

No problemo?

How?

How do you make it, uh,
how you say,

spic-and-span?

How.

Big Chief Bogotá over here
wants to know how.

Let me tell you a story, Chief.

- Don't do that.

Heck, that's a lot
of change, ma'am.

How long did it take
to save up?

I don't save.
I dredge.

You know the fountain beside
the pediatric cancer ward?

Well, lots of sick kiddies

mean lots of scratchers
for Mona.

There once was a little boy
who would park his daddy's car

when Daddy was a little
too blasted on big boy juice.

Now, that little boy grew up

to become a big boy
bank manager, right?

And he realized
he could take money

and park that too.

- Park it in parking lots.
- Okay.

It's not funny, Twan.
Seriously.

Parking lots are big business.

I mean, it's all cash.

They don't call them
parking littles.

Am I right?

Yeah.

Oh, and that adorable
little boy who grew up

to become a bank manager,
that boy was--

- Uh-huh.
- Killed.

Uh, mob hit.

I think it was you guys,
actually.

Pretty awful.
Um, but hey.

The branch had
to promote someone.

Yours truly.

And a good idea's
a good idea,

am I right?

So here we are!

My shoe's untied.

- Lou--

So.

Do we have a deal?

Bueno.
Deal.

- Bueno.
- Bueno?

- Bueno is good.
- That's good!

- Let's do this!
- Yes, yes!

Mo, you did it!

Hey, all right.

So I got some
champagne chilling.

I'ma go grab it,
and we can toast this shit.

Back in a jiff.

We'll have the first
ten million to you next week

and ten more every week
after that.

- That's great.
- Whoa, whoa.

- Ten mil? A week?
- Mm-hmm.

I can't wash all that.

I mean, not for 25%.

- What do you mean?
- Yeah, what do you mean?

What do you mean?

Well, they might
call me Jewdini,

but even Houdini drowned

when he swallowed
more than he could drink.

Okay.

What the fuck
is wrong with you?

You said you could handle this.

I can.

This is our chance
to retire, baby.

I'm already retired, Lou.

Excuse me.
What the fuck is going on?

Uh, what's going on
is these fucking savages

don't know their ass
from a hole in their butt.

We're gonna be printing
millie dollar billies, baby.

You're gonna get us all
fucking killed, Lou.

- We already won.
- Hey!

One second.
Lo siento.

Listen, Bootsy.

You're just a bass player,
all right?

Why don't you let
the bank manager

manage the negotiations?

- I am going to close this.
- No, you're not.

- I'm gonna cl--
- Sorry.

We were just doing a little bit
of math over there.

Uh, good news is
that ten mil a week,

totally doable,
no problemo.

- No problemo.
- We can do it.

You can do this.
Yeah-yeah-yeah...

I believe in you.

Bad news is that you're gonna
lose a few more socks.

I mean, I can't do this deal
for a penny under

60 percent.

Drop your fucking guns!

You drop your fucking guns!

Don't read that.
It's private.

Lou, tell these guys

you can do it at 25 percent,

you fucking asshole!

Yeah, tell them
you were joking,

you silly fuck!

Now I see what I did.

My-my math was off.

I-I forgot to carry the "Juan"!

I may have overplayed my hand.

Oh, you think so,
you idiot?

- What'd he say?
- Nothing, nothing!

- Just fucking focus.
- I knew it!

You're fucking him?

God damn it, Keith!
How could you?

Dave, it was after we stopped

but before we started again,
okay?

Are you kidding me?

It's not the time
for this right now!

Drop your fucking guns!
Last warning!

men speaking Spanish

Uncle Hugh!

I'm missing

all the rides.

- Can we go already?
- I said not yet!

Ow! I want to go home.

I knew we were gonna die
in this fucking room.

Oh, come on!
Let's just talk about this!

Please!

Can I please tie my shoes
one last time?

♪ Lionel Richie's
"Running with the Night" ♪

♪ The heart of the city street
was beating ♪

♪ Light from the neons turned
the dark to day ♪

♪ We were too hot to think
of sleeping ♪

♪ We had to get out
before ♪

♪ The magic got away ♪

♪ We were running
with the night ♪

♪ Playing in the shadows ♪

♪ Just you and I ♪

♪ Till the morning light ♪

♪ We were running ♪

♪ Oh ♪

♪ Running with the night ♪

Dude, come on.

Holy shit!

Okay.

Go back, go back.

Wait, wait, wait,
wait, wait, wait.

Okay, yeah.
Okay.

No.

- No, no, no, no, no, no.

No, no!

What?
What the fuck?

- This is your plan?
- No, no.

This is kind of like, uh--
like an audible.

Yeah, my plan was
to hit that alarm button,

and the cops were gonna
come flooding in there

and take you guys all down
for money laundering.

Figured that putting
the cartel away

would take care
of your problems with them

and putting you away

would take care of my problems
with you, but the whole thing

just kind of got away
from me a little bit.

- No shit, yeah.
- Yeah.

I mean, you know,
Lou with the coke.

- That was insane.
- Fucking knew it.

You take the cash,
you go back to Wall Street,

- you build your stack--

Take revenge
on Dawn and Blair.

No, this kind of gets me all
the revenge I need, Keith.

Yeah, I'm out.

I told you, man.
I'm done.

Fucking tired.
I'm going to Kokomo.

You're gonna leave me here?

After I fucking left
my entire life behind

to make sure that we were okay?

Your entire life?
Are you crazy?

You were about to jump off
a fucking building, Keith.

Well, either way, I fucking
came down here to help you

like I always do.

'Cause I'm the only friend
you fucking have.

Yeah, my only friend
who's the fucking only reason

I'm in this fucking mess
in the first place.

- You fucked me, Keith.
- Oh, fine.

- You fucked me.
- I fucked you.

We had some fun, though,
didn't we?

Yeah, we did.

We were free.

I loved the way
you played that bass.

Hey.

And who knew you
could skate so well?

Hey, you know,
I got talents.

Yeah.

That's my cue.

Sorry it's got to be this way,
Keith.

No, no, no, no, it doesn't.
It doesn't.

'Cause you can let me
the fuck out.

Let me the fuck out, Mo.
Come on, Mo.

Come on, Mo.
Come on.

Love you, K-man.

Fuck you, Mo!
Fuck you!

Hey!

Mo!

Ah!

Shit!

Ow, fuck!

Why is everything
fucking steel in here?

♪ tense music ♪

I told him.

The chocolate man's mine.

Hey, muchacho.

♪ exciting music ♪

Go to a goddamn meeting, Lou.

I'm cool.

Holy shit.

Yeah.
Where the fuck were you?

Obviously you're fired.

Ugh...Ugh.

Oh, Jesus.
You scared the shit out of me.

- Sorry.

- Hey.
- Hey.

Uh, you just, uh,
getting off work or something?

Yeah, just got off.

I had to do OT
for this bank thing.

- Oh.
- Did you hear about that?

No, no, I didn't, uh--no.

Oh.
Well, did you forget your keys?

No, no, no, I was just
in the neighborhood,

but now I got to--
I got to take off.

- Bummer, right?
- Oh, yeah.

Yeah.

You sure you don't want to
say--say hi to the boys?

No, no, I would,
but I got a--

you know, I just got to get
to this gig, so...

♪ dramatic music ♪

Okay, right.

Well, I'll see you later
this week, then.

Bobby's Little League thing.

Yes, I would not miss that.

I wouldn't miss it
for the world.

He's getting really good,
isn't he?

Yeah, he got a lot better
playing with you.

Yeah.

He used to just strike out,

and now he strikes out,

curses the ump's mama
all to hell.

- So cute.

My legacy.

Yeah, I'm, uh...

I'm really proud to have,
you know...

yeah.

It's not on you.

What?

Charles,
the Panthers,

it's all on that undercover
FBI bitch.

No, I know that.
I know.

I just--why are we being
all dramatic?

I mean, I'm gonna see you
at the game, you know?

Right, yeah.

See you then.

Yeah, I-I'll see you then.

♪ The Beach Boys' "Kokomo" ♪

♪ Aruba, Jamaica ♪

♪ Ooh, I want to take you ♪

♪ Bermuda, Bahama ♪

♪ Come on, pretty mama ♪

♪ Key Largo, Montego ♪

♪ Baby, why don't we go,
Jamaica ♪

♪ Off the Florida Keys ♪

♪ There's a place
called Kokomo ♪

♪ That's where
you want to go ♪

♪ To get away from it all ♪

♪ Bodies in the sand ♪

♪ Tropical drink melting
in your hand ♪

♪ We'll be falling in love ♪

♪ To the rhythm
of a steel drum band ♪

♪ Down in Kokomo ♪

♪ Aruba, Jamaica ♪

♪ Ooh, I want to take you ♪

♪ To Bermuda, Bahama ♪

♪ Come on, pretty mama ♪

♪ Key Largo, Montego ♪

♪ Baby, why don't we go ♪

♪ Ooh, I want to take you
down to Kokomo ♪

♪ We'll get there fast
and then we'll take it slow ♪

♪ That's where we wanna go ♪

♪ Way down in Kokomo ♪

♪ Aruba, Jamaica ♪

♪ Ooh, I want to take you ♪

♪ To Bermuda, Bahama ♪

♪ Come on, pretty mama ♪

♪ Key Largo, Montego ♪

♪ Baby, why don't we go ♪

♪ Ooh, I want to take you
down to Kokomo ♪

♪ We'll get there fast
and then we'll take it slow ♪

♪ That's where we wanna go ♪

♪ Way down in Kokomo ♪

♪ Aruba, Jamaica ♪

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