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00:00:01,835 --> 00:00:06,005
>> THE USE OF ILLEGAL FIREWORKS
APPEARS TO BE SKYROCKETING IN
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00:00:06,089 --> 00:00:07,590
AMERICA, AND IT'S NOT CLEAR WHY.
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00:00:07,674 --> 00:00:10,969
COMPLAINTS ARE SOARING, TOO,
DURING A TIME WHEN MANY PEOPLE
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00:00:11,052 --> 00:00:15,932
ARE ALREADY ON EDGE DUE TO THE
PANDEMIC.
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00:00:16,015 --> 00:00:18,268
>> HEY THERE, IT'S ME, A DOG,
HERE TO TALK ABOUT OUR LEAST
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00:00:18,351 --> 00:00:21,771
FAVORITE PART OF SUMMER --
TERRIFYING SKY FIRE.
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00:00:21,855 --> 00:00:26,401
ONE DAY A YEAR, HUMANS DRESS UP
IN THE COLORS OF THE AMERICAN
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00:00:26,484 --> 00:00:30,655
FLAG -- GREY, WHITE, AND OTHER
GREY -- DRINK CRAZY JUICE AND
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00:00:30,739 --> 00:00:33,241
BLOW UP THEIR LOUD, ANGRY
FLOWERS, MAKING US COWER AND
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00:00:33,324 --> 00:00:35,410
POOP ON YOUR PILLOW.
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00:00:35,493 --> 00:00:38,288
BUT THIS SUMMER, INSTEAD OF ONE
DAY, TERRIFYING SKY FIRES EVERY
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00:00:38,371 --> 00:00:40,623
DAY.
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00:00:40,707 --> 00:00:45,462
BECOME TRAPPED AN UNBREAKABLE
CYCLE -- OUTSIDE TO PEE, THE
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00:00:45,545 --> 00:00:48,131
SAME FOOD IN THE SAME BOWL, MY
OWNER ALWAYS AT HOME IN THE SAME
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00:00:48,214 --> 00:00:49,340
CLOTHES.
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00:00:49,424 --> 00:00:50,133
AND THEN, LIKE CLOCKWORK, EVEN
THOUGH I DON'T KNOW HOW CLOCKS
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00:00:50,216 --> 00:00:53,136
WORK, THE SAME TERRIFYING SKY
FIRE.
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00:00:53,219 --> 00:00:57,015
IS THERE NO WAY TO DISTRACT
MYSELF FROM THIS ENDLESS LOOP OF
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00:00:57,098 --> 00:00:59,267
SKY FIRE AND SWEAT PANTS?
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00:00:59,350 --> 00:00:59,976
I GOT IT!
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00:01:00,059 --> 00:01:01,144
♪
♪
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00:01:01,227 --> 00:01:05,273
♪
>> OH, YEAH, THEY'RE DEFINITELY
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00:01:05,356 --> 00:01:07,442
NOT ALLOWED TO BE UP ON THAT
BED.
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>> Announcer: IT'S "A LATE
SHOW" WITH STEPHEN COLBERT!
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TONIGHT, CURVE YOUR ENTHUSIASM.
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PLUS STEPHEN WELCOMES IBRAM X.
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KENDI AND PATTON OSWALT,
FEATURING JON BATISTE AND "STAY
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00:01:25,251 --> 00:01:26,711
HOMIN."
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AND NOW, LIVE ON TAPE FROM A
SAFE DISTANCE, IT'S STEPHEN
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COLBERT!
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>> Stephen: ARE YOU GOING TO
BE GLAD WHEN WE DON'T DO THIS
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00:01:37,555 --> 00:01:38,848
ANYMORE OR ARE YOU GOING TO MISS
IT?
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>> Stephen: I'M GOING TO MISS
IT, TOO.
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00:01:41,100 --> 00:01:42,310
IT'S BEEN LOVELY.
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00:01:42,393 --> 00:01:44,062
WELCOME TO "A LATE SHOW.
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I'M STEPHEN COLBERT.
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HEY, REMEMBER WHEN THE
CORONAVIRUS WAS MAGICALLY GOING
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TO DISAPPEAR IN APRIL?
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WELL, IT'S JUNE 25, AND
YESTERDAY NEW CORONAVIRUS CASES
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00:01:54,781 --> 00:01:57,742
IN THE U.S. SOARED TO THEIR
HIGHEST SINGLE-DAY TOTAL.
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NO!
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00:01:58,618 --> 00:01:59,035
NO!
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WE CAN'T GO BACKWARDS.
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00:02:00,245 --> 00:02:03,248
IT'S BEEN SUCH A LONG JOURNEY.
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00:02:03,331 --> 00:02:05,416
THIS IS LIKE IF FRODO WENT ALL
THE WAY TO MOUNT DOOM, WAS ABOUT
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00:02:05,500 --> 00:02:10,213
TO THROW THE RING IN, AND THEN
THIS HAPPENED:
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>> DESTROY IT!
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>> I'M GETTING A HAIR CUT!
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>> NOOOOOO!
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>> Stephen: THAT STILL GETS ME
( WHISPERING )
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00:02:21,432 --> 00:02:25,895
OK, WELL LET'S STAY POSITIVE,
MAYBE THE U.S. CURVE ISN'T SO
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00:02:25,979 --> 00:02:26,396
BAA-
AAAA OH GOD!
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00:02:26,479 --> 00:02:27,438
OH GOD!
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00:02:27,522 --> 00:02:30,233
HOW IS TRUMP NOT MORE
ALARMED BY THIS?
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IT'S A RAMP FROM HELL.
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( CRASHING MUSIC, CAT MEOW )
THESE NUMBERS ARE BAD ANY WAY
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00:02:43,162 --> 00:02:44,372
YOU LOOK AT THEM.
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00:02:44,455 --> 00:02:45,748
THAT IS, UNLESS YOU'RE LOOKING
THROUGH THE EYES OF VICE
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00:02:45,832 --> 00:02:49,752
PRESIDENT AND STATUE OF
INTOLERANCE THE PROTESTERS
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00:02:49,836 --> 00:02:50,879
MISSED, MIKE PENCE.
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00:02:50,962 --> 00:02:52,255
YESTERDAY, PENCE MET WITH G.O.P.
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00:02:52,338 --> 00:02:56,384
SENATORS CONCERNED ABOUT THE
RISING COVID CASES AND HE URGED
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00:02:56,467 --> 00:03:00,096
THEM TO FOCUS ON "ENCOURAGING
SIGNS."
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00:03:00,179 --> 00:03:02,307
YEAH, 2.4 MILLION INFECTED
AMERICANS!
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00:03:02,390 --> 00:03:03,516
DON'T LOOK AT THE GLASS AS HALF
EMPTY.
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00:03:03,600 --> 00:03:07,478
LOOK AT YOUR LUNGS AS HALF FULL.
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00:03:07,562 --> 00:03:10,148
PENCE POINTED OUT THAT WHILE
INFECTIONS ARE RISING, THE
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00:03:10,231 --> 00:03:13,943
MORTALITY RATE IS NOT, AND
YOUNGER AND HEALTHIER PEOPLE NOW
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00:03:14,027 --> 00:03:17,447
ACCOUNT FOR LARGER SHARES OF
THOSE GETTING TESTED.
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00:03:17,530 --> 00:03:19,240
BUT THE YOUNG PEOPLE ARE THE
ONES WHO GIVE IT TO THE OLD
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00:03:19,324 --> 00:03:20,575
PEOPLE!
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00:03:20,658 --> 00:03:23,453
THAT'S LIKE SAYING, "PHEW
I'M IN THE CLEAR. TURNS OUT ONLY
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00:03:23,536 --> 00:03:27,123
MY GIRLFRIEND HAS CHLAMYDIA.
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00:03:27,206 --> 00:03:30,460
NOW TO CELEBRATE, LET'S LOSE
THIS CONDOM!"
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00:03:30,543 --> 00:03:34,255
THERE YOU GO.
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00:03:34,339 --> 00:03:36,174
WHILE CASES IN OTHER PARTS OF
THE COUNTRY ARE RISING, NEW
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00:03:36,257 --> 00:03:39,469
YORK, NEW JERSEY AND CONNECTICUT
ARE FORCING ANYONE COMING FROM
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00:03:39,552 --> 00:03:42,347
STATES WITH HIGH INFECTION RATES
TO SELF QUARANTINE FOR TWO
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00:03:42,430 --> 00:03:46,184
WEEKS.
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00:03:46,267 --> 00:03:47,477
BUT DONALD TRUMP DOESN'T CARE.
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00:03:47,560 --> 00:03:49,687
HE PLANS ON PLAYING GOLF IN
BEDMINSTER, NEW JERSEY THIS
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00:03:49,771 --> 00:03:54,150
WEEKEND, BUT HE'S NOT GOING TO
SELF QUARANTINE BECAUSE, AS A
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00:03:54,233 --> 00:03:56,027
WHITE HOUSE OFFICIAL EXPLAINED
"THE PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED
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00:03:56,110 --> 00:03:58,237
STATES IS NOT A CIVILIAN."
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00:03:58,321 --> 00:03:59,489
OK, THAT'S DEBATABLE.
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00:03:59,572 --> 00:04:03,660
THERE'S A GOOD REASON WE CALL
THE CHIEF EXECUTIVE "MR.
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00:04:03,743 --> 00:04:04,911
PRESIDENT," NOT "BURGER KING."
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00:04:04,994 --> 00:04:10,291
AND EVEN IF HE'S NOT A CIVILIAN,
I'M PRETTY SURE HE IS A MORTAL.
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00:04:10,375 --> 00:04:13,002
HE CAN STILL GET IT AND SPREAD
IT.
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00:04:13,086 --> 00:04:15,546
AND, "DOZENS OF SECRET SERVICE
OFFICERS AND AGENTS WHO WERE ON
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00:04:15,630 --> 00:04:23,972
SITE IN TULSA LAST WEEK WERE
ORDERED TO SELF-QUARANTINE.
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00:04:24,055 --> 00:04:25,181
NOW
TO PROTECT THE PRESIDENT, THEY
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00:04:25,264 --> 00:04:26,057
HAVE TO STAY AS FAR AWAY FROM
HIM AS POSSIBLE.
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00:04:26,140 --> 00:04:27,392
GET READY FOR THE NEW
CLINT EASTWOOD FILM
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00:04:27,475 --> 00:04:29,018
"IN THE LINE OF VIRUS".
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00:04:29,102 --> 00:04:31,187
THE OBVIOUS WAY TO SLOW DOWN
INFECTIONS IS BY WEARING A MASK.
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00:04:31,270 --> 00:04:32,355
BUT UNFORTUNATELY, PUTTING A
PIECE OF CLOTH ON YOUR FACE HAS
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00:04:32,438 --> 00:04:38,861
BECOME A CULTURE WAR, THANKS
ALMOST ENTIRELY TO OUR PRESIDENT
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00:04:38,945 --> 00:04:40,029
"MASKS ARE A DOUBLE-EDGED SWORD.
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00:04:40,113 --> 00:04:41,322
PEOPLE TOUCH THEM.
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00:04:41,406 --> 00:04:43,032
AND THEY GRAB THEM AND I SEE IT
ALL THE TIME.
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00:04:43,116 --> 00:04:44,367
THEY COME IN, THEY TAKE THE
MASK.
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00:04:44,450 --> 00:04:47,203
NOW THEY'RE HOLDING IT NOW IN
THEIR FINGERS.
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00:04:47,286 --> 00:04:50,748
AND THEY DROP IT ON THE DESK AND
THEN THEY TOUCH THEIR EYE AND
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00:04:50,832 --> 00:04:52,208
THEY TOUCH THEIR NOSE.
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00:04:52,291 --> 00:04:54,210
NO, I THINK A MASK IS A - IT'S A
DOUBLE-EDGED SWORD."
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00:04:54,293 --> 00:04:55,586
(AS TRUMP)
"I FEEL THE SAME WAY ABOUT
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00:04:55,670 --> 00:04:56,087
PARACHUTES.
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00:04:56,170 --> 00:04:58,339
DOUBLE-EDGED SWORD.
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00:04:58,423 --> 00:05:00,550
SURE, THEY'LL STOP YOU FROM
HURTLING TOWARDS THE EARTH AT
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00:05:00,633 --> 00:05:02,885
TERMINAL VELOCITY, BUT NOW YOUR
LITTLE BACKPACK IS FULL OF
112
00:05:02,969 --> 00:05:04,137
PARACHUTE.
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00:05:04,220 --> 00:05:05,888
WHERE ARE YOU GOING TO PUT YOUR
SANDWICH?
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00:05:05,972 --> 00:05:06,639
YOU'RE GOING TO BE HUNGRY THE
WHOLE WAY DOWN.
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00:05:06,723 --> 00:05:10,143
I BLAME GRAVITY.
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00:05:10,226 --> 00:05:11,602
WHICH PULLS YOU TOWARD WHERE?
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00:05:11,686 --> 00:05:15,523
CHINA."
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00:05:15,606 --> 00:05:16,399
SO NOW YOU'RE A LIBERAL
SNOWFLAKE IF YOU DON'T WANT TO
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00:05:16,482 --> 00:05:19,402
DIE.
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00:05:19,485 --> 00:05:22,113
AND ALL ACROSS THE COUNTRY,
PEOPLE ARE REACTING TO PROPOSED
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00:05:22,196 --> 00:05:27,660
MASK REQUIREMENTS LIKE THIS GUY
AT A TOWN MEETING IN PALM BEACH,
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00:05:27,744 --> 00:05:28,911
FLORIDA.
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00:05:28,995 --> 00:05:31,247
>> LEMY NAME IS BUTCH AND I'M AN
AMERICAN PATRIOT.
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00:05:31,330 --> 00:05:32,040
SEE THAT FLAG?
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00:05:32,123 --> 00:05:33,249
I WOULD DIE FOR THAT FLAG.
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00:05:33,332 --> 00:05:37,086
THE CONSTITUTION THAT YOU'RE
SUPPOSED TO UPHOLD, I WOULD DIE
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00:05:37,170 --> 00:05:37,920
FOR THAT!
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00:05:38,004 --> 00:05:39,922
I WOULD DIE FOR THAT COUNTRY!
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00:05:40,006 --> 00:05:41,883
I WOULD DIE FOR THE
CONSTITUTION!
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00:05:41,966 --> 00:05:43,760
>> Stephen: WELL,
CONGRATULATIONS.
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00:05:43,843 --> 00:05:48,723
IF YOU DON'T WEAR A MASK YOU
HAVE A GOOD SHOT AT IT.
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00:05:48,806 --> 00:05:50,433
>> I DON'T WEAR A MASK FOR THE
SAME REASON I DON'T WEAR
133
00:05:50,516 --> 00:05:51,559
UNDERWEAR.
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00:05:51,642 --> 00:05:53,311
THINGS GOT TO BREATHE.
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00:05:53,394 --> 00:05:56,981
>> STEPHEN: OH, DROP THE MIC!
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00:05:57,065 --> 00:05:59,609
AND BEFORE YOU SIT, LAY DOWN A
TOWEL.
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00:05:59,692 --> 00:06:01,319
WHICH REMINDS ME, LADIES,
PLEASE, IF YOUR VAGINA IS GOING
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00:06:01,402 --> 00:06:06,282
TO COUGH, DO IT INTO YOUR ELBOW.
139
00:06:06,365 --> 00:06:06,657
AND THE ANTI-MASK WARRIORS HAVE
NOW TAKEN IT TO TRULY INSIDIOUS
140
00:06:06,741 --> 00:06:07,909
EXTREMES.
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00:06:07,992 --> 00:06:14,248
SOME ARE NOW HANDING OUT THESE
FAKE MASK EXEMPTION CARDS, THAT
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00:06:14,332 --> 00:06:15,625
LOOK SORT OF OFFICIAL.
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00:06:15,708 --> 00:06:17,960
IT EVEN CO-OPTS LANGUAGE FROM
THE AMERICANS WITH DISABILITIES
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00:06:18,044 --> 00:06:21,422
ACT, SAYING, "I AM NOT REQUIRED
TO DISCLOSE MY CONDITION."
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00:06:21,506 --> 00:06:25,802
ADDING, "BUT IN CASE YOU'RE
WONDERING, MY CONDITION IS THAT
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00:06:25,885 --> 00:06:27,428
I'M A HUGE A-HOLE."
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00:06:27,512 --> 00:06:29,097
THIS CARD IS BEING SPREAD BY A
GROUP CALLED THE FREEDOM TO
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00:06:29,180 --> 00:06:32,850
BREATHE AGENCY, WHOSE WEBSITE
SAYS MASKS ARE JUST A
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00:06:32,934 --> 00:06:37,647
"PSYCHOLOGICAL ANCHOR FOR
SUPPRESSION, ENSLAVEMENT AND
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00:06:37,730 --> 00:06:39,190
COGNITIVE OBEDIENCE."
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00:06:39,273 --> 00:06:41,609
ADDING, "HOW LONG BEFORE YOUR
HUMAN FARMERS TRICK YOU INTO
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00:06:41,692 --> 00:06:44,362
BELIEVING THAT IT IS BETTER YOU
STOP BREATHING ALTOGETHER, TO
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00:06:44,445 --> 00:06:47,657
STOP THE SPREAD OF A VIRUS?"
FIRST OF ALL, YOUR HUMAN FARMERS
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00:06:47,740 --> 00:06:50,284
DON'T WANT YOU TO STOP
BREATHING.
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00:06:50,368 --> 00:06:51,786
THAT'S JUST BAD FARMING.
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00:06:51,869 --> 00:06:54,872
SECOND OF ALL, IF THERE WERE
HUMAN FARMERS, THEY WOULDN'T
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00:06:54,956 --> 00:06:56,874
MAKE US WEAR MASKS.
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00:06:56,958 --> 00:07:00,837
THEY'D FEED US FATTY FOODS AND
HIGH FRUCTOSE CORN SYRUP AND
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00:07:00,920 --> 00:07:04,549
ENCOURAGE US TO STAY SEDENTARY
SO WE'RE WELL-MARBLED-- AAAAND,
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00:07:04,632 --> 00:07:05,091
OH MY GOD WE'RE BEING FARMED!
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00:07:05,174 --> 00:07:08,136
NETFLIX IS A COOKBOOK!
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00:07:08,219 --> 00:07:14,809
SALT FAT ACID HEAT!
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00:07:14,892 --> 00:07:17,687
THE REPUBLICAN CONVENTION ISN'T
UNTIL AUGUST, BUT TRUMP ISN'T
164
00:07:17,770 --> 00:07:19,522
WAITING TO SPREAD HIS MESSAGE OF
"SPREADING THE VIRUS."
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00:07:19,605 --> 00:07:21,524
BECAUSE WE JUST FOUND OUT
YESTERDAY THAT TRUMP IS
166
00:07:21,607 --> 00:07:26,154
HEADLINING FOURTH OF JULY
FIREWORKS AT MOUNT RUSHMORE.
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00:07:26,237 --> 00:07:28,698
SO, TO BE SAFE, THE GUYS WILL BE
SOCIAL DISTANCING.
168
00:07:28,781 --> 00:07:32,326
THE DANGER AT THIS EVENT IS MORE
THAN JUST COVID.
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00:07:32,410 --> 00:07:35,371
MOUNT RUSHMORE HAS BANNED
FIREWORKS FOR THE PAST DECADE
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00:07:35,454 --> 00:07:39,917
BECAUSE OF CONCERNS ABOUT PUBLIC
HEALTH, ENVIRONMENTAL AND SAFETY
171
00:07:40,001 --> 00:07:40,835
RISKS.
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00:07:40,918 --> 00:07:42,670
HEALTH, ENVIRONMENT, AND SAFETY.
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00:07:42,753 --> 00:07:44,255
SO EVERYTHING WILL BE FINE
UNLESS YOU'RE A PERSON, PLACE,
174
00:07:44,338 --> 00:07:48,259
OR THING.
175
00:07:48,342 --> 00:07:51,721
IN NOT-CARVED-OUT-OF-A-MOUNTAIN
STATUE NEWS, RECENTLY,
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00:07:51,804 --> 00:07:52,889
PROTESTORS HAVE BEEN TEARING
DOWN STATUES OF PEOPLE WHO
177
00:07:52,972 --> 00:07:57,727
FOUGHT THE UNITED STATES TO
PRESERVE SLAVERY.
178
00:07:57,810 --> 00:08:00,730
THAT STATUE YOU JUST SAW COME
DOWN WAS OF CONFEDERATE GENERAL
179
00:08:00,813 --> 00:08:03,774
AND SARUMAN THE WHITE
SUPREMACIST, ALBERT PIKE.
180
00:08:03,858 --> 00:08:05,735
PROTESTERS IN WASHINGTON D.C.
181
00:08:05,818 --> 00:08:09,197
RIPPED THE PIKE STATUE DOWN LAST
FRIDAY, AND THEN, FOR GOOD
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00:08:09,280 --> 00:08:10,823
MEASURE, LIT IT ON FIRE.
183
00:08:10,907 --> 00:08:13,201
AW, I BET THEY MADE S'MORES!
184
00:08:13,284 --> 00:08:16,704
BECAUSE YOU KNOW IT JUST MADE
THEM WANT TO PULL DOWN S'MORE
185
00:08:16,787 --> 00:08:19,749
STATUES.
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00:08:19,832 --> 00:08:22,376
♪
♪
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00:08:22,460 --> 00:08:24,045
♪
>> MARSHMALLOW, CHOCOLATE AND
188
00:08:24,128 --> 00:08:28,424
GRAHAM SLAM!
189
00:08:28,507 --> 00:08:29,592
>> Stephen: HERE'S AN
IMPORTANT THING TO
190
00:08:29,675 --> 00:08:31,969
REMEMBER ABOUT THESE STATUES:
THEY'RE NOT ACTUAL PEOPLE.
191
00:08:32,053 --> 00:08:33,763
WHICH IS WHY TRUMP HAS EMPATHY
FOR THEM.
192
00:08:33,846 --> 00:08:35,598
AFTER TRUMP SAW THAT STATUE
TOPPLE, HE PERSONALLY CALLED THE
193
00:08:35,681 --> 00:08:42,104
INTERIOR SECRETARY AND ASKED FOR
THE PARK SERVICE TO PUT ALBERT
194
00:08:42,188 --> 00:08:43,898
PIKE BACK UP.
195
00:08:43,981 --> 00:08:46,442
(AS TRUMP)
"YES, I KNOW I'M A REPUBLICAN
196
00:08:46,525 --> 00:08:47,610
PRESIDENT, AND I KNOW HE WAS A
CONFEDERATE GENERAL.
197
00:08:47,693 --> 00:08:49,737
BUT DO IT.
198
00:08:49,820 --> 00:08:51,697
ALSO, PLEASE DIG UP LINCOLN'S
SKELETON, 'CAUSE I WANNA TAKE
199
00:08:51,781 --> 00:08:54,867
HIM TO THE THEATER TONIGHT.
200
00:08:54,951 --> 00:08:56,494
AND SHOOT HIM IN THE BACK OF THE
HEAD.
201
00:08:56,577 --> 00:09:02,667
IT'S HERITAGE."
202
00:09:02,750 --> 00:09:04,835
HE ALSO TOOK TO TWITTER:
"VERY SAD TO SEE STATES ALLOWING
203
00:09:04,919 --> 00:09:09,590
ROVING GANGS OF WISE GUYS,
ANARCHISTS AND LOOTERS, MANY OF
204
00:09:09,674 --> 00:09:12,843
THEM HAVING NO IDEA WHAT THEY
ARE DOING, INDISCRIMINATELY
205
00:09:12,927 --> 00:09:19,433
RIPPING DOWN OUR STATUES AND
MONUMENTS TO THE PAST."
206
00:09:19,517 --> 00:09:20,768
ROVING GANGS OF WISE GUYS?
207
00:09:20,851 --> 00:09:23,688
"MMYEH, LISTEN HERE - ME AND MY
BOYS RUN THIS PARK, AND WE'RE
208
00:09:23,771 --> 00:09:28,484
GONNA FIT OL' GENERAL BOBBY LEE
HERE FOR A 'CONCRETE FOOTREST,'
209
00:09:28,567 --> 00:09:29,193
IF YOU CATCH MY DRIFT.
210
00:09:29,277 --> 00:09:30,653
OH, HE'S ALREADY GOT ONE.
211
00:09:30,736 --> 00:09:31,362
OK, 'CAUSE HE'S A STATUE?
212
00:09:31,445 --> 00:09:32,697
WELL, OK.
213
00:09:32,780 --> 00:09:39,954
SLEEP WITH THE PIGEONS, BOBBY!
214
00:09:40,037 --> 00:09:41,831
MMYEH!"
DO YOU LIKE MY DINERO?
215
00:09:41,914 --> 00:09:44,166
>> YEAH.
216
00:09:44,250 --> 00:09:45,418
>> Stephen: OKAY.
217
00:09:45,501 --> 00:09:46,669
OF COURSE, TRUMP DOESN'T THINK
PRESERVING STATUES IS JUST ABOUT
218
00:09:46,752 --> 00:09:47,336
HERITAGE.
219
00:09:47,420 --> 00:09:49,463
IT'S ALSO ABOUT EDUCATION.
220
00:09:49,547 --> 00:09:51,966
"IT IS IMPORTANT FOR US TO
UNDERSTAND AND REMEMBER, EVEN IN
221
00:09:52,049 --> 00:09:56,846
TURBULENT AND DIFFICULT TIMES,
AND LEARN FROM THEM."
222
00:09:56,929 --> 00:10:00,933
THERE'S NOT REALLY MUCH YOU CAN
LEARN FROM A STATUE, EXCEPT THE
223
00:10:01,017 --> 00:10:04,020
EVOLUTION OF MEN'S PANTS.
224
00:10:04,103 --> 00:10:06,856
HOW DID THEY GO TO THE BATHROOM?
225
00:10:06,939 --> 00:10:10,818
LOOK AT ALL THOSE BUTTONS!
226
00:10:10,901 --> 00:10:13,487
BUT THE PRESIDENT ISN'T JUST
PUTTING THE STATUES BACK UP -
227
00:10:13,571 --> 00:10:15,990
HE'S GOING AFTER THE PEOPLE
WHO TOPPLED THEM.
228
00:10:16,073 --> 00:10:18,534
>> WE HAVE ARRESTED NUMEROUS
PEOPLE, AS YOU KNOW, FOR WHAT
229
00:10:18,617 --> 00:10:22,413
TOOK PLACE OUTSIDE OF WASHINGTON
BUT IN ADDITION, THE FBI IS
230
00:10:22,496 --> 00:10:26,667
INVESTIGATING HUNDREDS OF PEOPLE
THROUGHOUT THE COUNTRY FOR WHAT
231
00:10:26,751 --> 00:10:29,378
THEY'VE DONE TO MONUMENTS,
STATUES, AND EVEN BUILDINGS, SO
232
00:10:29,462 --> 00:10:31,881
WE HAVE VERY STRONG LAWS ALREADY
ON THE BOOKS.
233
00:10:31,964 --> 00:10:35,509
WE HAVE A LAW THAT IS 10 YEARS.
234
00:10:35,593 --> 00:10:38,471
IT'S TEN YEARS.
235
00:10:38,554 --> 00:10:39,722
>> STEPHEN: YIKES.
236
00:10:39,805 --> 00:10:40,681
TEN YEARS FOR TOPPLING ONE
CONFEDERATE LEADER.
237
00:10:40,765 --> 00:10:42,224
GENERAL GRANT'S GOING TO DO SOME
HARD TIME.
238
00:10:42,308 --> 00:10:44,685
BUT THIS ACT SHOWS THE TRUMP
ADMINISTRATION'S TRUE
239
00:10:44,769 --> 00:10:47,938
PRIORITIES: THEY HAVEN'T
MADE ANY EFFORTS TO PROTECT
240
00:10:48,022 --> 00:10:51,901
BLACK PEOPLE IN THIS COUNTRY,
BUT THEY'RE GOING OUT OF THEIR
241
00:10:51,984 --> 00:10:52,943
WAY TO PROTECT MONUMENTS.
242
00:10:53,027 --> 00:10:58,407
WHICH BRINGS ME TO TONIGHT'S
LOGICAL CONCLUSION.
243
00:10:58,491 --> 00:10:59,909
TONIGHT'S LOGICAL CONCLUSION IS
BROUGHT TO YOU BY ONE OF MY
244
00:10:59,992 --> 00:11:06,082
WRITERS - JOHN THIBODEAUX.
245
00:11:06,165 --> 00:11:07,249
JOHN, THANKS FOR BEING HERE.
246
00:11:07,333 --> 00:11:07,708
I KNOW YOU'RE REALLY BUSY WITH
YOUR NEW BABY.
247
00:11:07,792 --> 00:11:08,250
>> GO TO SLEEP!
248
00:11:08,334 --> 00:11:08,793
SORRY, NEW DAD REFLEX.
249
00:11:08,876 --> 00:11:10,628
THANKS FOR HAVING ME.
250
00:11:10,711 --> 00:11:12,046
>> STEPHEN: SO, IF DONALD TRUMP
CARES MORE ABOUT MONUMENTS THAN
251
00:11:12,129 --> 00:11:15,925
BLACK PEOPLE, WHAT'S THE LOGICAL
CONCLUSION?
252
00:11:16,008 --> 00:11:18,260
>> IT'S EASY, STEPHEN.
253
00:11:18,344 --> 00:11:20,262
BLACK PEOPLE HAVE TO APPLY TO
BECOME NATIONAL MONUMENTS.
254
00:11:20,346 --> 00:11:22,765
THEN ANY POLICE OFFICER WHO
MIGHT ATTACK THEM WOULD
255
00:11:22,848 --> 00:11:24,642
IMMEDIATELY GET ARRESTED.
256
00:11:24,725 --> 00:11:27,353
>> STEPHEN: AND NO POLICE
OFFICER WANTS TO GET ARRESTED.
257
00:11:27,436 --> 00:11:28,104
HAVE YOU SEEN HOW ROUGH THE COPS
CAN GET?
258
00:11:28,187 --> 00:11:30,272
>> ...YEAH.
259
00:11:30,356 --> 00:11:34,110
>> STEPHEN: SO HOW DOES THE PLAN
WORK?
260
00:11:34,193 --> 00:11:35,945
>> SO, ACCORDING TO THE
ANTIQUITIES ACT OF 1906, TO BE
261
00:11:36,028 --> 00:11:39,573
DECLARED A NATIONAL MONUMENT,
YOU HAVE TO BE OF HISTORIC OR
262
00:11:39,657 --> 00:11:41,575
SCIENTIFIC INTEREST.
263
00:11:41,659 --> 00:11:42,743
AND I'D SAY A LOT OF BLACK
AMERICANS ARE MAKING HISTORY
264
00:11:42,827 --> 00:11:43,911
RIGHT NOW.
265
00:11:43,994 --> 00:11:46,455
AND AS A BONUS: IF YOU'RE A
MONUMENT, YOU GET TO HAVE YOUR
266
00:11:46,539 --> 00:11:47,581
OWN GIFT SHOP!
267
00:11:47,665 --> 00:11:49,750
STEPHEN, WOULDN'T YOU LOVE
TO HAVE A MUG THAT SAYS, "I
268
00:11:49,834 --> 00:11:51,961
VISITED JOHN THIBODEAUX AND ALL
I GOT WAS THIS LOUSY MUG."
269
00:11:52,044 --> 00:11:54,922
>> Stephen: I SURE WOULD!
270
00:11:55,005 --> 00:11:57,174
>> IT'S $2,000.
271
00:11:57,258 --> 00:11:58,884
>> Stephen: $2,000?
272
00:11:58,968 --> 00:12:00,678
BABIES ARE EXPENSIVE.
273
00:12:00,761 --> 00:12:01,846
>> Stephen: WOW.
274
00:12:01,929 --> 00:12:05,057
NOW, THERE ARE AROUND
BLACK PEOPLE IN THIS COUNTRY, SO
275
00:12:05,141 --> 00:12:07,184
THIS PROCESS COULD TAKE A LONG
TIME, BUT I'D LIKE TO GET THE
276
00:12:07,268 --> 00:12:08,686
BALL ROLLING.
277
00:12:08,769 --> 00:12:09,145
THAT'S WHY I'M SUBMITTING FOR
NATIONAL MONUMENT STATUS:
278
00:12:09,228 --> 00:12:10,146
DENZEL WASHINGTON.
279
00:12:10,229 --> 00:12:12,481
HE'S A BRILLIANT ACTOR,
DIRECTOR, AND PRODUCER.
280
00:12:12,565 --> 00:12:14,108
AND BONUS: HE'S NEVER ONCE OWNED
A SLAVE, UNLIKE SOME OTHER
281
00:12:14,191 --> 00:12:16,277
WASHINGTONS I COULD MENTION.
282
00:12:16,360 --> 00:12:17,153
>> STEPHEN: GOOD LUCK, JOHN.
283
00:12:17,236 --> 00:12:20,322
DO YOU WANT ME TO VENMO YOU FOR
THE MUG?
284
00:12:20,406 --> 00:12:20,739
>> CASH APP'S IN THE BIO.
285
00:12:20,823 --> 00:12:24,034
LIKE AND FOLLOW.
286
00:12:24,118 --> 00:12:25,995
>> Stephen: JON THIBODEAUX,
EVERYBODY.
287
00:12:26,078 --> 00:12:27,663
WE'VE GOT A GREAT SHOW FOR YOU
TONIGHT.
288
00:12:27,746 --> 00:12:31,125
I'LL BE TALKING TO THE AUTHOR OF
"HOW TO BE AN ANTIRACIST," IBRAM
289
00:12:31,208 --> 00:12:34,670
X. KENDI, AND AMERICA'S
SWEETHEART, PATTON OSWALT!
290
00:12:34,753 --> 00:12:37,131
BUT WHEN WE COME BACK,
MEANWHILE!
291
00:12:37,214 --> 00:12:38,883
JOIN US, WON'T YOU?
292
00:12:55,065 --> 00:12:55,649
♪
>> Stephen: HEY, EVERYBODY!
293
00:12:55,733 --> 00:12:57,193
WELCOME BACK TO "A LATE SHOW."
294
00:12:57,276 --> 00:12:59,820
>> I'M ALREADY IN MID
CONVERSATION WITH YOUR FRIEND
295
00:12:59,904 --> 00:13:04,033
AND MINE MR. JON BATISTE.
296
00:13:04,116 --> 00:13:06,035
JON, THIS IS A BIG CHECK AND I
ACTUALLY HAVE A BLUE CARD.
297
00:13:06,118 --> 00:13:09,163
I RARELY HAVE A BLUE CARD WHEN
I'M TALKING TO YOU.
298
00:13:09,246 --> 00:13:10,372
>> Jon: I LOVE THE BLUE CARD.
299
00:13:10,456 --> 00:13:11,999
>> Stephen: BUT WE'VE GOT TO
HIT THIS.
300
00:13:12,082 --> 00:13:13,292
>> Jon: UH-HUH.
301
00:13:13,375 --> 00:13:13,876
>> Stephen: YOU KNOW THE PLAY
AT HOME SERIES.
302
00:13:13,959 --> 00:13:15,920
>> Jon: YES, OF COURSE.
303
00:13:16,003 --> 00:13:17,546
>> Stephen: YOU LOVE THE
PEOPLE AT HOME.
304
00:13:17,630 --> 00:13:20,716
BRAND-NEW PERFORMANCES WITH
DIFFERENT ARTISTISTS EACH NIGHT
305
00:13:20,799 --> 00:13:25,846
WE'RE ON HIATUS BECAUSE WE'RE
ABOUT TO GO ON HIATUS AND YOU'RE
306
00:13:25,930 --> 00:13:28,849
KICKING IT OFF WITH A SPECIAL
ARTIST TOMORROW NIGHT.
307
00:13:28,933 --> 00:13:37,691
>> YES, DeMARCO, A LOT OF
MUSIC HE MADE HIS BATHROOM.
308
00:13:37,775 --> 00:13:41,237
THIS IS AN AMAZING WAY TO RECORD
AND PERFORM VIRTUALLY.
309
00:13:41,320 --> 00:13:45,616
HE SENDS THE FILES OVER TO ME
AND I PUT IT TOGETHER RIGHT HERE
310
00:13:45,699 --> 00:13:50,204
AND SEND IT BACK TO HIM AND WE
LAYERED IT SOMEHOW WITH THE
311
00:13:50,287 --> 00:13:51,747
MAGIC.
312
00:13:51,830 --> 00:13:52,540
I DON'T KNOW WHO WAS DOING THAT
PART, BUT IT'S GOING TO BE
313
00:13:52,623 --> 00:13:53,666
AMAZING TO DO IT LIKE THIS.
314
00:13:53,749 --> 00:14:01,257
>> Stephen: TO CHICK IT OUT,
COLBERT LATE SHOW.com OR ON
315
00:14:01,340 --> 00:14:03,717
"THE LATE SHOW" WITH STEPHEN
COLBERT YOUTUBE CHANNEL.
316
00:14:03,801 --> 00:14:04,718
>> Jon: YES.
317
00:14:04,802 --> 00:14:06,136
>> Stephen: JOHN, HAVE A GREAT
BREAK.
318
00:14:06,220 --> 00:14:07,471
COULD YOU PLAY US OUT?
319
00:14:07,555 --> 00:14:10,766
>> Jon: OH, YEAH, YEAH, YEAH!
320
00:14:10,849 --> 00:14:12,560
♪
♪
321
00:14:12,643 --> 00:14:22,611
♪
>> Stephen: JON BATISTE,
322
00:14:22,695 --> 00:14:30,327
♪
>> Stephen: JON BATISTE,
323
00:14:30,411 --> 00:14:30,953
EVERYBODY.
324
00:14:31,036 --> 00:14:32,538
THANKS, JON.
325
00:14:32,621 --> 00:14:36,625
FOLKS, I SPEND A LOT OF TIME
GOING THROUGH THE WEST ELM
326
00:14:36,709 --> 00:14:39,795
CATALOG OF THE WEEK'S BIGGEST
STORIES, CHOOSING THE PERFECT
327
00:14:39,878 --> 00:14:41,630
VELVET LOVESEAT TO PAIR WITH A
FINE JUTE RUG AND ROSE-GOLD
328
00:14:41,714 --> 00:14:45,968
FLOOR LAMP TO COMPOSE THE
PICTURE-PERFECT RESTORATION
329
00:14:46,051 --> 00:14:48,804
HARDWARE CATALOGUE LIVING ROOM
THAT IS MY MONOLOGUE.
330
00:14:48,887 --> 00:14:53,851
BUT ONCE IN A WHILE, I LIKE TO
SCOUR CRAIGSLIST'S "FREE AND FOR
331
00:14:53,934 --> 00:14:57,104
SALE" PAGE, AND COBBLE TOGETHER
ENOUGH BEEFARONI-STAINED CHAIRS,
332
00:14:57,187 --> 00:15:01,817
CIGARETTE-BURNT END-TABLES, AND
MOLDY THROW PILLOWS TO FURNISH
333
00:15:01,900 --> 00:15:04,987
THE NEWY-DIVORCED DAD STUDIO
APARTMENT OF NEWS THAT IS MY
334
00:15:05,070 --> 00:15:10,826
SEGMENT:
>> QUARANTINE-WHILE
335
00:15:10,909 --> 00:15:15,331
>> STEPHEN: QUARANTINE-WHILE,
LIFESTYLE GOOP-RU GWYNETH
336
00:15:15,414 --> 00:15:18,000
PALTROW IS SELLING A NEW CANDLE
CALLED "THIS SMELLS LIKE MY
337
00:15:18,083 --> 00:15:19,168
ORGASM."
338
00:15:19,251 --> 00:15:23,130
AND WHAT DOES GWYNETH'S ORGASM
SMELL LIKE, YOU ASK?
339
00:15:23,213 --> 00:15:24,131
OH, YOU DIDN'T?
340
00:15:24,214 --> 00:15:25,174
WELL, I'M GOING TO TELL YOU
ANYWAY.
341
00:15:25,257 --> 00:15:27,176
APPARENTLY, "GUNPOWDER TEA,
TURKISH ROSE," AND "TART
342
00:15:27,259 --> 00:15:31,347
GRAPEFRUIT."
343
00:15:31,430 --> 00:15:33,766
BASICALLY HER ORGASM IS A
CONTINENTAL BREAKFAST.
344
00:15:33,849 --> 00:15:36,018
NEVER THOUGHT I'D SAY THIS
GWYNETH, BUT I MISS THE DAYS
345
00:15:36,101 --> 00:15:40,230
WHEN YOU JUST LODGED HUNKS OF
JADE UP THERE.
346
00:15:40,314 --> 00:15:43,067
QUARANTINE-WHILE, "BECAUSE OF
CORONAVIRUS, 7-ELEVEN IS
347
00:15:43,150 --> 00:15:48,989
CANCELING FREE SLURPEE DAY," BUT
DON'T WORRY, "MEMBERS OF THE 7
348
00:15:49,073 --> 00:15:50,491
REWARDS LOYALTY PROGRAM WILL GET
A COUPON FOR A FREE MEDIUM
349
00:15:50,574 --> 00:15:51,617
SLURPEE."
350
00:15:51,700 --> 00:15:56,413
SO IF YOU'RE A MEMBER OF THE 7
REWARDS LOYALTY PROGRAM...
351
00:15:56,497 --> 00:15:58,123
ARE YOU OK?
352
00:15:58,207 --> 00:16:02,044
I'M WORRIED ABOUT YOU.
353
00:16:02,127 --> 00:16:04,088
QUARANTINEWHILE, AS AMERICA
REEVALUATES HONORING
354
00:16:04,171 --> 00:16:07,549
CONTROVERSIAL HISTORICAL
FIGURES, "THOUSANDS OF PEOPLE
355
00:16:07,633 --> 00:16:13,180
HAVE SIGNED A PETITION TO RENAME
COLUMBUS, OHIO TO FLAVORTOWN IN
356
00:16:13,263 --> 00:16:16,058
HONOR OF COLUMBUS NATIVE GUY
FIERI."
357
00:16:16,141 --> 00:16:18,686
AND IF THEY DON'T LIKE
FLAVORTOWN, MIGHT I SUGGEST MEAT
358
00:16:18,769 --> 00:16:23,232
SWEATS.
359
00:16:23,315 --> 00:16:25,442
QUARANTINE-WHILE "EXPERTS ARE
CALLING FOR REGULATION AFTER YET
360
00:16:25,526 --> 00:16:29,238
ANOTHER BOTCHED ART RESTORATION
IN SPAIN," THIS TIME OF A
361
00:16:29,321 --> 00:16:31,573
BAROQUE PAINTING IN WHICH "THE
FACE OF THE VIRGIN MARY WAS LEFT
362
00:16:31,657 --> 00:16:35,202
UNRECOGNIZABLE."
363
00:16:35,285 --> 00:16:36,078
OH, COME ON, HOW BAD COULD IT
HAVE BEE--
364
00:16:36,161 --> 00:16:37,371
OH, SWEET MOTHER OF GOD!
365
00:16:37,454 --> 00:16:38,205
I THINK.
366
00:16:38,288 --> 00:16:43,377
REALLY HARD TO TELL AT THIS
POINT.
367
00:16:43,460 --> 00:16:44,753
WHY DID IT GO SO BADLY?
368
00:16:44,837 --> 00:16:47,131
MAYBE BECAUSE IT WAS DONE BY A
FURNITURE RESTORER.
369
00:16:47,214 --> 00:16:49,383
DO SOME RESEARCH.
370
00:16:49,466 --> 00:16:52,094
THIS IS NOT THE TIME TO JUST GET
WHOEVER YOUR BUDDY RECOMMENDS.
371
00:16:52,177 --> 00:16:53,303
(ACT OUT)
"HEY JIMMY, I GOT THIS 17TH
372
00:16:53,387 --> 00:16:56,348
CENTURY BAROQUE PAINTING OF THE
VIRGIN MARY.
373
00:16:56,432 --> 00:16:58,392
I GOT A QUESTION: THAT GUY WHO
STRIPPED THE VARNISH OFF YOUR
374
00:16:58,475 --> 00:16:59,768
COFFEE TABLE?
375
00:16:59,852 --> 00:17:08,402
HE'S GOT A PAINT BRUSH?"
THAT WAS MY SPANISH ACCENT.
376
00:17:08,485 --> 00:17:10,404
QUARANTINE-WHILE "KID ROCK'S
NASHVILLE BAR HAS TEMPORARILY
377
00:17:10,487 --> 00:17:13,615
LOST ITS BEER PERMIT DUE TO
COVID-19 VIOLATIONS."
378
00:17:13,699 --> 00:17:16,160
PREVIOUSLY, THE KID ROCK BAR'S
#1 HEALTH VIOLATION WAS GOATEE
379
00:17:16,243 --> 00:17:23,292
HAIR IN THE SALSA.
380
00:17:23,375 --> 00:17:25,419
"KID ROCK'S BIG-ASS HONKY TONK
AND ROCK & ROLL STEAKHOUSE" HAD
381
00:17:25,502 --> 00:17:27,755
IT'S BEER LICENSE YANKED AFTER
SOMEONE POSTED THIS PHOTO OF THE
382
00:17:27,838 --> 00:17:31,341
PACKED BAR SHOWING PEOPLE BEING
SERVED ILLEGALLY INDOORS AND NO
383
00:17:31,425 --> 00:17:35,971
ONE WEARING MASKS.
384
00:17:36,054 --> 00:17:37,097
HEY!
385
00:17:37,181 --> 00:17:38,015
BOOZE-DINGUSES!
386
00:17:38,098 --> 00:17:40,642
LET ME PUT THIS IN TERMS YOU'LL
UNDERSTAND.
387
00:17:40,726 --> 00:17:47,274
YOU JAM YOURSELVES INTO A
BAR LIKE THAT AND, NEXT THING
388
00:17:47,357 --> 00:17:49,109
YOU KNOW, BAWIT-DABAW DA-BANG
A-DANG DIGGY-DIGGY-DIGGY SAID
389
00:17:49,193 --> 00:17:52,446
THE BOOGY SAID UP JUMP INFECTION
RATES.
390
00:17:52,529 --> 00:17:55,365
QUARANTINE-WHILE, IF YOU'RE LIKE
ME, YOU'RE EXCITED FOR AMAZON'S
391
00:17:55,449 --> 00:17:59,411
UPCOMING LORD OF THE RINGS TV
ADAPTATION.
392
00:17:59,495 --> 00:18:02,664
IT'S MIDDLE EARTH, AMAZON-STYLE!
393
00:18:02,748 --> 00:18:05,167
SO THE HOBBITS DO NOT GET
BATHROOM BREAKS.
394
00:18:05,250 --> 00:18:09,296
WELL, IF YOU LIVE DOWN UNDER AND
TO THE RIGHT A BIT, LISTEN UP.
395
00:18:09,379 --> 00:18:13,550
BECAUSE THEY'VE JUST ISSUED A
NEW ZEALAND CASTING CALL FOR,
396
00:18:13,634 --> 00:18:15,010
"FUNKY-LOOKING" PEOPLE.
397
00:18:15,093 --> 00:18:18,639
"FUNKY-LOOKING PEOPLE?"
I HOPE THAT MEANS THE ORC ARMY
398
00:18:18,722 --> 00:18:24,186
WILL BE NOW BE LED BY
PARLIAMENT.
399
00:18:24,269 --> 00:18:25,020
AW, WE NEED THE RING.
400
00:18:25,103 --> 00:18:27,356
GOT TO HAVE THAT RING!
401
00:18:27,439 --> 00:18:30,317
WE'RE GOING TO TURN THIS
MORDOR OOUUUT!
402
00:18:30,400 --> 00:18:32,486
CAST ME, AMAZON!
403
00:18:32,569 --> 00:18:33,487
WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH THE
AUTHOR OF "HOW TO BE AN
404
00:18:33,570 --> 00:18:37,366
ANTIRACIST," IBRAM X. KENDI!
405
00:18:37,449 --> 00:18:42,037
♪ WE NEED THE RING ♪
♪ GOT TO HAVE THAT RING ♪
406
00:18:53,841 --> 00:18:56,301
♪
>> STEPHEN: WELCOME BACK.
407
00:18:56,385 --> 00:18:59,221
MY FIRST GUEST IS AN HISTORIAN
AND THE BESTSELLING AUTHOR OF
408
00:18:59,304 --> 00:19:02,224
"HOW TO BE AN ANTIRACIST" AND
"STAMPED FROM THE BEGINNING."
409
00:19:02,307 --> 00:19:04,393
PLEASE WELCOME IBRAM X. KENDI!
410
00:19:04,476 --> 00:19:06,603
PROFESSOR KENDI, THANKS FOR
BEING HERE.
411
00:19:06,687 --> 00:19:08,856
>> OH, IT'S A PLEASURE TO BE ON
THE SHOW.
412
00:19:08,939 --> 00:19:15,904
>> Stephen: YOU'RE AMERICA'S
LEADING SCHOLAR ON ANTIRACISM,
413
00:19:15,988 --> 00:19:20,367
AND IN YOUR 2019 BOOK "HOW TO BE
AN ANTIRACIST" IS CURRENTLY A
414
00:19:20,450 --> 00:19:21,493
NUMBER ONE NONFICTION BEST
SELLER.
415
00:19:21,577 --> 00:19:27,457
WHAT'S THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN
BEING NOT RACIST AND BEING
416
00:19:27,541 --> 00:19:29,960
ANTIRACIST?
417
00:19:30,043 --> 00:19:33,589
>> WELL, HISTORICALLY, WHENEVER
PEOPLE ARE CHALLENGED FOR SAYING
418
00:19:33,672 --> 00:19:37,551
AND DOING SOMETHING THAT'S
RACIST, TYPICALLY, THEIR
419
00:19:37,634 --> 00:19:40,762
RESPONSE IS I'M NOT RACIST, NO
MATTER WHAT THEY JUST SAID, NO
420
00:19:40,846 --> 00:19:45,559
MATTER WHAT THEY JUST DID, BY
CONTRAST, SOMEONE WHO IS
421
00:19:45,642 --> 00:19:47,477
STRIVING TO BE ANTI-RACIST IS
ACTUALLY WILLING TO ADMIT THE
422
00:19:47,561 --> 00:19:52,107
TIMES IN WHICH THEY EXPRESS
RACIST IDEAS.
423
00:19:52,190 --> 00:19:54,276
THEY'RE WILLING TO ADMIT THE
TIMES IN WHICH THEY SORT OF
424
00:19:54,359 --> 00:19:59,448
SUPPORT RACIST POLICIES BECAUSE
THEY'RE IN A PROCESS OF
425
00:19:59,531 --> 00:20:00,908
CHANGING.
426
00:20:00,991 --> 00:20:03,410
THEY'RE CHANGING THEMSELVES,
THEY'RE SEEKING TO CHANGE
427
00:20:03,493 --> 00:20:04,953
SOCIETY.
428
00:20:05,037 --> 00:20:06,830
THEY'RE NOT NECESSARILY IN
DENIAL, LIKE MANY AMERICANS WHO
429
00:20:06,914 --> 00:20:08,624
DALE CLAIM THEY'RE NOT RACIST.
430
00:20:08,707 --> 00:20:13,962
>> Stephen: WELL, I LIKE THAT
FRAMING OF THE CONVERSATION
431
00:20:14,046 --> 00:20:18,675
BECAUSE I, LIKE I'M SURE MANY
AMERICANS, HAVE EXAMINED THEIR
432
00:20:18,759 --> 00:20:22,304
CONSCIENCE ESPECIALLY OVER THE
LAST FOUR WEEKS AND SAID I AM A
433
00:20:22,387 --> 00:20:26,308
WHITE AMERICAN, I'VE BENEFITED
FROM OUR SYSTEMIC RACISM IN OUR
434
00:20:26,391 --> 00:20:33,482
SOCIETY AND I CAN'T SAY HONESTLY
THAT I DON'T HAVE ANY RACISM,
435
00:20:33,565 --> 00:20:37,486
BUT THE REFRAINT THAT YOU PUT IT
ALLOWS A HOPE FOR CHANGE.
436
00:20:37,569 --> 00:20:42,658
>> WELL, I MEAN, AND HUMANS HAVE
THE CAPACITY TO CHANGE, AND I
437
00:20:42,741 --> 00:20:43,825
THINK WE HAVE TO ALLOW FOR THAT.
438
00:20:43,909 --> 00:20:47,955
AND THE QUESTION IS ALWAYS, AND
I THINK WITH ANYTHING, WHEN
439
00:20:48,038 --> 00:20:51,333
SOMEONE DIAGNOSES US, WHEN
SOMEBODY EXPLAINS THAT WE HAVE
440
00:20:51,416 --> 00:20:54,670
SOME SORT OF PROBLEM, THE
QUESTION, I THINK, FOR ALL OF US
441
00:20:54,753 --> 00:20:56,713
IS ARE WE GOING TO DENY THAT
PROBLEM?
442
00:20:56,797 --> 00:21:00,425
ARE WE GOING TO DENY THAT
ADDICTION EVEN, OR ARE WE GOING
443
00:21:00,509 --> 00:21:04,721
TO ADMIT IT AND THEN BEGIN THE
PROCESS OF CHANGING OURSELVES,
444
00:21:04,805 --> 00:21:07,975
HEALING OURSELVES SO THAT WE CAN
CHANGE AND HEAL THIS COUNTRY?
445
00:21:08,058 --> 00:21:12,688
>> Stephen: ANOTHER THING I
LIKE THE WAY YOU'VE DONE THIS IS
446
00:21:12,771 --> 00:21:15,649
WHILE NOT A RACIST AND
ANTIRACIST BOTH MIGHT BE
447
00:21:15,732 --> 00:21:21,738
DESCRIBED AS AN IDENTITY,
ANTIRACIST IMPLIES ACTION.
448
00:21:21,822 --> 00:21:22,990
>> OH, IT DOES.
449
00:21:23,073 --> 00:21:27,035
AND, REALLY, I'M NOT RACIST IS
AN IDENTITY BECAUSE, TYPICALLY,
450
00:21:27,119 --> 00:21:30,330
A PERSON BELIEVES THAT'S WHO
THEY ARE.
451
00:21:30,414 --> 00:21:37,713
FOR SOMEBODY WHO'S BEING
ANTIRACIST, IT'S MORE SO WHAT
452
00:21:37,796 --> 00:21:40,716
THEY'RE BEING BASED ON WHAT
THEY'RE SAYING AND DOING.
453
00:21:40,799 --> 00:21:44,553
ANTIRACIST KNOW IF THEY'RE
EXPRESSING RACIAL GROUPS ARE
454
00:21:44,636 --> 00:21:49,683
EQUAL, THEY'RE BEING ANTIRACIST,
IF THEY'RE CHALLENGING RACIST
455
00:21:49,766 --> 00:21:51,518
POLICIES THEY'RE BEING
ANTIRACIST.
456
00:21:51,601 --> 00:21:54,563
SO YOU HAVE TO DO AND BE
SOMETHING IN ORDER TO BE
457
00:21:54,646 --> 00:21:56,064
ANTIRACIST.
458
00:21:56,148 --> 00:21:57,274
>> Stephen: CAN YOU BE BOTH
RACIST AND ANTIRACIST AT THE
459
00:21:57,357 --> 00:21:58,525
SAME TIME?
460
00:21:58,608 --> 00:22:02,738
I'LL GIVE YOU AN EXAMPLE -- WE
HOLD THESE TRUTHS TO BE
461
00:22:02,821 --> 00:22:07,075
SELF-EVIDENT, ALL MEN ARE
CREATED EQUAL.
462
00:22:07,159 --> 00:22:12,414
THAT IS BALDLY AN ANTIRACIST
STATEMENT WRITTEN BY A RACIST
463
00:22:12,497 --> 00:22:13,790
MAN.
464
00:22:13,874 --> 00:22:16,585
>> AND EVEN IN THAT STATEMENT
YOU HAD SOME PEOPLE AT THE TIME
465
00:22:16,668 --> 00:22:20,255
BELIEVED WE WERE ALL CREATED
EQUAL, WHICH WAS AN ANTIRACIST
466
00:22:20,338 --> 00:22:24,676
IDEA, BUT THEN THEY ALSO
BELIEVED, LET'S SAY, BLACK AND
467
00:22:24,760 --> 00:22:28,430
EVEN NATIVE PEOPLE BECAME
INFERIOR ON EARTH, IN OTHER
468
00:22:28,513 --> 00:22:31,433
WORDS, THEIR CULTURES ARE
INFERIOR, THEY'RE INFERIOR
469
00:22:31,516 --> 00:22:33,268
BECAUSE OF THEIR ENVIRONMENT.
470
00:22:33,351 --> 00:22:36,104
SO WE WERE ALL EQUAL TO BEGIN
WITH, BUT AS A RESULT OF THE
471
00:22:36,188 --> 00:22:39,775
CULTURES OF BLACK OR EVEN NATIVE
PEOPLE, THEY'RE INFERIOR RIGHT
472
00:22:39,858 --> 00:22:41,318
NOW.
473
00:22:41,401 --> 00:22:42,778
>> Stephen: I HAVE A QUESTION
ABOUT THE HISTORY OF RACISM.
474
00:22:42,861 --> 00:22:46,448
IS WHAT WE THINK OF AS RACISM A
MODERN -- AND I MEAN 500 YEARS
475
00:22:46,531 --> 00:22:52,788
OLD -- A MODERN EUROPEAN
COLONIAL IDEA THAT IS MERELY A
476
00:22:52,871 --> 00:22:58,794
SUBSET OF INEQUALITY, OR HAS
THERE ALWAYS BEEN SOME FORM OF
477
00:22:58,877 --> 00:23:00,045
RACIAL DISCRIMINATION?
478
00:23:00,128 --> 00:23:04,633
>> SO, FOR A VERY LONG TIME, YOU
CAN LOOK INTO ANTIQUITY AND SEE
479
00:23:04,716 --> 00:23:09,763
SEXISM AND ETHNOCENTRISM AND SEE
OBVIOUS RELIGIOUS PERSECUTION,
480
00:23:09,846 --> 00:23:13,517
BUT RACISM IS A MODERN
PHENOMENON.
481
00:23:13,600 --> 00:23:16,978
THE CONCEPT OF RACE -- BLACK
AFRICA, NATIVE AMERICAN, EVEN
482
00:23:17,062 --> 00:23:25,028
WHITE EUROPE -- IS A PHENOMENON
THAT LARGELY COMES OUT OF
483
00:23:25,112 --> 00:23:26,196
COLONIALISM AND SLAVERY.
484
00:23:26,279 --> 00:23:30,659
>> Stephen: SO IF THERE HAVE
BEEN ALWAYS BEEN, LIKE, MAN'S
485
00:23:30,742 --> 00:23:38,667
INHUMANITY TO MAN, DID THE SORT
OF ECONOMIC DESIRE TO EX PLOIN
486
00:23:38,750 --> 00:23:47,676
PLOIT AFRICA CANS -- TO EXPLOIT
AFRICANS LEAD TO THE
487
00:23:47,759 --> 00:23:49,386
JUSTIFICATION OF RACISM?
488
00:23:49,469 --> 00:23:50,512
>> EXACTLY.
489
00:23:50,595 --> 00:23:51,763
THE CORE TO HAVE RACISM IS
SELF-INTEREST.
490
00:23:51,847 --> 00:23:55,725
IN OTHER WORDS, I WANT TO SLAVE
TRADE OR ENSLAVE AFRICAN PEOPLE
491
00:23:55,809 --> 00:24:01,022
OR EVEN NATIVE PEOPLE AND,
THEREFORE, I'M GOING TO CREATE
492
00:24:01,106 --> 00:24:06,153
POLICIES THAT MAKE ALL THESE
DIFFERENT ETHNIC GROUPS ONE
493
00:24:06,236 --> 00:24:10,323
PEOPLE, WORTHY OF ENSLAVEMENT,
AND THEN I'M GOING TO ARGUE
494
00:24:10,407 --> 00:24:14,828
THESE PEOPLE ARE INFERIOR,
THEY'RE SAVAGE, AND SHOULD BE
495
00:24:14,911 --> 00:24:18,081
DRIVEN FROM THEIR LAND THAT I'M
SUPPOSEDLY CIVIL IDESSING.
496
00:24:18,165 --> 00:24:22,878
SO THE SELF-INTEREST LED TO THE
RACIST POLICIES, AND THE RACIST
497
00:24:22,961 --> 00:24:26,173
POLICIES HAVE LED TO THE RACIST
IDEAS, AND PEOPLE BELIEVE THESE
498
00:24:26,256 --> 00:24:29,926
PEOPLE'S WERE BARBARIC AND
SAVAGES WHICH MADE THEM IGNORANT
499
00:24:30,010 --> 00:24:31,511
AND HATEFUL.
500
00:24:31,595 --> 00:24:34,055
>> Stephen: WELL, WE MAY NOT
HAVE ALWAYS HAD RACISM AS WE
501
00:24:34,139 --> 00:24:38,435
PERCEIVE IT, BUT HUMANS HAVE
ALWAYS HAD SELF-INTEREST.
502
00:24:38,518 --> 00:24:42,689
HOW CAN YOU -- HOW CAN WE MAKE
IT SO THAT BEING ANTIRACIST IS
503
00:24:42,772 --> 00:24:44,441
IN YOUR SELF-INTEREST?
504
00:24:44,524 --> 00:24:47,944
>> ONE THING FOR THE VAST
MAJORITY OF AMERICANS, BEING
505
00:24:48,028 --> 00:24:51,907
ANTIRACIST OR CREATING A MORE
EQUITABLE SOCIETY IS ACTUALLY IN
506
00:24:51,990 --> 00:24:55,744
THEIR SELF-INTERESTS, AND I
THINK THAT, FOR INSTANCE, WHITE
507
00:24:55,827 --> 00:24:59,623
AMERICANS ARE CONSTANTLY
THINKING ABOUT WHAT THEY WOULD
508
00:24:59,706 --> 00:25:04,586
LOSE WITH A RADICAL SORT OF
RENOVATION OF THIS COUNTRY, OF
509
00:25:04,669 --> 00:25:08,590
THIS COUNTRY'S POLICIES, AS
OPPOSED TO WHAT THEY'D GAIN.
510
00:25:08,673 --> 00:25:12,177
SO THEY'RE TOO QUICK TO COMPARE
THEMSELVES TO PEOPLE OF COLOR AS
511
00:25:12,260 --> 00:25:16,139
OPPOSED TO COMPARING THEMSELVES
TO WHAT PEOPLE IN OTHER WESTERN
512
00:25:16,223 --> 00:25:17,349
DEMOCRACIES HAVE.
513
00:25:17,432 --> 00:25:20,894
AND THEN THE QUESTION IS WHY
DON'T WE HAVE PAID FAMILY LEAVE
514
00:25:20,977 --> 00:25:22,479
IN THE UNITED STATES?
515
00:25:22,562 --> 00:25:25,690
WHY DON'T EVERYONE HAVE ACCESS
TO FREE HEALTHCARE?
516
00:25:25,774 --> 00:25:28,109
WHY IS THERE SO MUCH INCOME
INEQUALITY?
517
00:25:28,193 --> 00:25:32,948
AND ONE OF THE REASONS YOU CAN
POINT TO IS RACISM AND PEOPLE
518
00:25:33,031 --> 00:25:36,993
BEING CONSTANTLY MANIPULATED TO
SUPPORTING POLICIES AND
519
00:25:37,077 --> 00:25:40,121
POLICY-MAKERS AGAINST THEIR OWN
SELF-INTERESTS BY RACIST IDEAS.
520
00:25:40,205 --> 00:25:43,875
>> Stephen: AND THE CUDGEL OF
THE WELFARE QUEEN BEING USED TO
521
00:25:43,959 --> 00:25:48,964
DESTROY THE IDEA OF ANY SORT OF
SAFETY NET THAT I SAW GROWING UP
522
00:25:49,047 --> 00:25:50,590
IN THE 180s.
523
00:25:50,674 --> 00:25:53,969
>> EXACTLY, AND IT WAS A SOCIAL
SAFETY NET THAT WASN'T JUST
524
00:25:54,052 --> 00:25:57,305
HELPING BLACK WOMEN OR BLACK
PEOPLE, IT WAS HELPING ALL
525
00:25:57,389 --> 00:26:00,934
AMERICANS, ALL AMERICANS WHO, OF
COURSE, AT TIMES, ARE GOING TO
526
00:26:01,017 --> 00:26:04,688
FALL AND NEED A SAFETY NET TO
CATCH THEM, TO LIFT THEM BACK
527
00:26:04,771 --> 00:26:05,480
UP.
528
00:26:05,563 --> 00:26:06,648
THERE'S NOTHING WRONG WITH
THAT'S.
529
00:26:06,731 --> 00:26:12,279
>> Stephen: NOW, YOU SAY THAT
RACIST AND ANTIRACIST ARE NOT
530
00:26:12,362 --> 00:26:13,780
FIXED IDENTITIES.
531
00:26:13,863 --> 00:26:16,658
YOU'VE GOT AN AMAZING EXAMPLE OF
SOMEONE WHO'S CLEARLY STEEPED IN
532
00:26:16,741 --> 00:26:21,371
RACISM, WHO HAS BECOME AN ACTIVE
ANTIRACIST.
533
00:26:21,454 --> 00:26:28,003
TELL THE STORY OF THE DAVID
DUKE'S GOD SON.
534
00:26:28,086 --> 00:26:31,548
>> OH, YEAH, THREE YEARS AGO, I
HAD THE PLEASURE OF MEETING
535
00:26:31,631 --> 00:26:33,341
DEREK BLACK.
536
00:26:33,425 --> 00:26:36,845
DEREK BLACK IS THE SON OF DON
BLACK.
537
00:26:36,928 --> 00:26:42,017
DON BLACK CREATED THE WEB SITE
STORM FRONT, ONE OF THE MAJOR
538
00:26:42,100 --> 00:26:43,852
PROGENITORS OF THE WHITE
NATIONALIST MOVEMENT AND GROOMED
539
00:26:43,935 --> 00:26:48,440
HIS SON DEREK TO BECOME ONE OF
THE LEADERS OF THE WHITE
540
00:26:48,523 --> 00:26:51,026
NATIONALIST MOVEMENT, TO REALLY
BECOME LIKE A RICHARD SPENCER.
541
00:26:51,109 --> 00:26:55,030
BUT WHEN DEREK BLACK WENT TO
COLLEGE, HE STARTED -- SOME OF
542
00:26:55,113 --> 00:26:58,867
HIS FRIENDS TOOK HIM TO THE SIDE
AND STARTED CHALLENGING SOME OF
543
00:26:58,950 --> 00:27:02,662
HIS IDEAS AND, ULTIMATELY, HE
BEGAN CHANGING.
544
00:27:02,746 --> 00:27:06,207
I UNDERSTAND HE READ ONE OF MY
BOOKS ALONG THE WAY AND MANY
545
00:27:06,291 --> 00:27:10,003
OTHER BOOKS ON RACISM AND NOW
HE'S SOMEONE WHO'S STRIVING TO
546
00:27:10,086 --> 00:27:11,671
BE YANTS RACIST.
547
00:27:11,755 --> 00:27:14,883
SO SOMEONE WHO WAS RACED TO LEAD
THE WHITE NATIONALIST MOVEMENT
548
00:27:14,966 --> 00:27:17,552
IS NOW STRIVING TO BE
ANTIRACIST.
549
00:27:17,635 --> 00:27:20,013
>> Stephen: ONE OF THE CHANGES
GOING ON NOW, ONE TO HAVE THE
550
00:27:20,096 --> 00:27:22,724
CULTURAL CHANGES LIKE MONUMENTS
BEING PULLED DOWN, PERHAPS
551
00:27:22,807 --> 00:27:28,021
CHANGING NAMES OF ARMY BAILS
NAMED AFTER CONFEDERATE
552
00:27:28,104 --> 00:27:31,858
GENERALS, I HAVE FOUND OUT YOUR
HIGH SCHOOL, YOU WENT TO
553
00:27:31,941 --> 00:27:34,652
STONEWALL JACKSON HIGH SCHOOL?
554
00:27:34,736 --> 00:27:38,281
VIRGINIA, AND THERE IS A
PETITION, OVER 30,000
555
00:27:38,365 --> 00:27:41,743
SIGNATURES, TO RENAME IT THE
IBRAM X. KENDI HIGH SCHOOL.
556
00:27:41,826 --> 00:27:45,789
I KNOW THIS DOESENTS COME FROM
YOU, BUT THIS IS HAPPENING.
557
00:27:45,872 --> 00:27:49,459
HOW DID THIS COME ABOUT AND HOW
DO YOU FEEL ABOUT THAT?
558
00:27:49,542 --> 00:27:52,253
>> WELL, I THINK, OBVIOUSLY, I'M
HAPPY THEY'RE FINALLY CHANGING
559
00:27:52,337 --> 00:27:56,091
THE NAME OF MY HIGH SCHOOL,
SINCE IT WAS NAMED AFTER A
560
00:27:56,174 --> 00:27:57,759
CONFEDERATE GENERAL, BUT I
UNDERSTAND PEOPLE ARE PUSHING
561
00:27:57,842 --> 00:28:00,011
FOR THIS, AND ONE OF THE PEOPLE
WHO ARE PUSHING FOR IT, I
562
00:28:00,095 --> 00:28:06,935
UNDERSTAND, IS THE GREAT,
GREAT-GRANDSON OF STONEWALL
563
00:28:07,018 --> 00:28:11,481
JACKSON WHO I THINK IS A CLASS
ACT, WARREN CHRISTIAN, AND HE'S
564
00:28:11,564 --> 00:28:15,944
SHOWING THAT WE ARE LIKELY NOT
BOUND BY OUR ANCESTORS, JUST
565
00:28:16,027 --> 00:28:20,156
LIKE WE'RE NOT BOUND BY THE PAST
HISTORY OF THIS COUNTRY'S
566
00:28:20,240 --> 00:28:21,408
RACISM.
567
00:28:21,491 --> 00:28:25,578
WE CAN CREATE A DIFFERENT KIND
OF COUNTRY THAT WILL RESPECT AND
568
00:28:25,662 --> 00:28:28,665
VALUE BLACK LIVES AND THE LIVES
OF PEOPLE OF COLOR.
569
00:28:28,748 --> 00:28:33,795
>> Stephen: YOU'VE RELEASED
ANOTHER BOOK CALLED "ANTIRACIST
570
00:28:33,878 --> 00:28:35,088
BABY."
571
00:28:35,171 --> 00:28:39,175
WHY DID YOU DECIDE TO WRITE A
BOOK ABOUT ANTIRACISM FOR
572
00:28:39,259 --> 00:28:40,760
BABIES?
573
00:28:40,844 --> 00:28:41,970
>> I FIRST AND FOREMOST HAVE A
VERY YOUNG DAUGHTER, AND I
574
00:28:42,053 --> 00:28:43,471
WANTED TO HAVE A TOOL FOR HER.
575
00:28:43,555 --> 00:28:48,685
I MEAN, I KNOW THAT, AT SIX
MONTHS, BABIES ARE ALREADY
576
00:28:48,768 --> 00:28:50,103
SEEING RACE.
577
00:28:50,186 --> 00:28:52,814
I KNOW AT TWO YEARS OLD, SOME
CHILDREN ARE ALREADY CONSUMING
578
00:28:52,897 --> 00:28:57,444
OR BELIEVING IN RACIST IDEAS AND
DISCERNING WHO TO PLAY WITH
579
00:28:57,527 --> 00:29:00,947
BASED ON A KID'S SKIN COLOR, AND
I ALSO KNOW THAT MANY PARENTS
580
00:29:01,030 --> 00:29:07,996
BELIEVE THEIR KIDS ARE COLOR
BLIND, BUT THEIR KIDS ARE
581
00:29:08,079 --> 00:29:09,873
ANYTHING BUT, ACCORDING TO THE
STUDIES.
582
00:29:09,956 --> 00:29:14,127
AND WE SHOULD BE TEACHING OUR
KIDS ABOUT RACISM AND BEING
583
00:29:14,210 --> 00:29:16,504
ANTIRACIST EVEN BEFORE THEY CAN
FULLY UNDERSTAND WHAT THAT
584
00:29:16,588 --> 00:29:18,006
MEANS.
585
00:29:18,089 --> 00:29:20,967
JUST LIKE WE TEACH THEM WHAT IT
MEANS TO BE KIND, WHAT IT MEANS
586
00:29:21,050 --> 00:29:25,680
TO LOVE, THESE ARE SOPHISTICATED
CONCEPTS.
587
00:29:25,763 --> 00:29:29,517
KINDNESS AND LOVE ARE WHAT WE
TEACH OUR KIDS EARLY BECAUSE WE
588
00:29:29,601 --> 00:29:33,188
VALUE BEING KIND AND LOVING, AND
WE SHOULD VALUE BEING
589
00:29:33,271 --> 00:29:36,232
ANTIRACIST, AND THE EARLIER WE
TEACH OUR KIDS TO BE ANTIRACIST,
590
00:29:36,316 --> 00:29:37,442
THE BETTER.
591
00:29:37,525 --> 00:29:41,196
>> Stephen: AS I SAID, YOUR
LEADING VOICE AGAINST RACISM IN
592
00:29:41,279 --> 00:29:42,697
THE UNITED STATES.
593
00:29:42,780 --> 00:29:46,659
YOUR WIFE IS AN E.R. DOCTOR AT A
CHIRPS HOSPITAL IN D.C.
594
00:29:46,743 --> 00:29:48,077
SHE'S FIGHTING COVID ON THE
FRONT LINES.
595
00:29:48,161 --> 00:29:51,539
WHAT GIVES THE TWO OF YOU HOPE?
596
00:29:51,623 --> 00:29:58,546
BECAUSE YOU'RE BOTH PART OF A
PRESENT VITAL STRUGGLE.
597
00:29:58,630 --> 00:30:02,509
>> WELL, I THINK, FOR US, I
THINK WHAT GIVES US HOPE IS THAT
598
00:30:02,592 --> 00:30:08,223
YOU HAVE TO BELIEVE CHANGE IS
POSSIBLE IN ORDER TO BRING IT
599
00:30:08,306 --> 00:30:09,891
ABOUT.
600
00:30:09,974 --> 00:30:13,853
SO WHEN SHE DIAGNOSES A YOUNG
CHILD WHO HAS A SERIOUS ILLNESS,
601
00:30:13,937 --> 00:30:18,066
SHE BELIEVES THAT THAT KID, THAT
THAT CHILD CAN BE HEALED.
602
00:30:18,149 --> 00:30:19,859
SHE HAS TO BELIEVE IT.
603
00:30:19,943 --> 00:30:21,027
DOCTORS HAVE TO BELIEVE THAT.
604
00:30:21,110 --> 00:30:25,073
JUST LIKE WHEN I DIAGNOSE
AMERICA AS RACIST, WHEN I SAY
605
00:30:25,156 --> 00:30:30,537
THAT EVEN AMERICA IS STAGE FOUR
METASTATIC RACISM, I STILL
606
00:30:30,620 --> 00:30:36,084
BELIEVE THAT AMERICA CAN FIGHT
AGAINST THE ODDS AND STILL HEAL
607
00:30:36,167 --> 00:30:37,460
ITSELF.
608
00:30:37,544 --> 00:30:39,921
>> Stephen: WELL, THANK YOU SO
MUCH FOR BEING HERE.
609
00:30:40,004 --> 00:30:42,549
THANKS FOR THE MESSAGE AND
THANKS FOR THE HOPE AND THANKS
610
00:30:42,632 --> 00:30:44,259
FOR THE EXAMPLE.
611
00:30:44,342 --> 00:30:45,093
>> OF COURSE, YES.
612
00:30:45,176 --> 00:30:47,262
THANK YOU SO MUCH.
613
00:30:47,345 --> 00:30:49,764
>> Stephen: "ANTIRACIST BABY"
AND "STAMPED: RACISM,
614
00:30:49,847 --> 00:30:52,183
ANTIRACISM, AND YOU" ARE BOTH
AVAILABLE NOW.
615
00:30:52,267 --> 00:30:54,227
IBRAM X. KENDI, EVERYBODY.
616
00:30:54,310 --> 00:30:56,062
WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH
COMEDIAN PATTON OSWALT.
617
00:30:56,145 --> 00:30:56,980
THANKS AGAIN, SIR.
618
00:31:11,578 --> 00:31:12,745
♪
>> STEPHEN: WELCOME BACK.
619
00:31:12,829 --> 00:31:15,081
MY NEXT GUEST IS A COMEDIAN YOU
KNOW FROM TV, MOVIES, AND HIS
620
00:31:15,164 --> 00:31:19,419
EMMY AND GRAMMY AWARD WINNING
COMEDY SPECIALS.
621
00:31:19,502 --> 00:31:22,088
PLEASE WELCOME TO "A LATE SHOW,"
PATTON OSWALT.
622
00:31:22,171 --> 00:31:25,008
NICE TO SEE YOU.
623
00:31:25,091 --> 00:31:26,259
>> GREAT TO SEE YOU, STEPHEN.
624
00:31:26,342 --> 00:31:27,635
HOW ARE YOU DOING?
625
00:31:27,719 --> 00:31:29,095
>> Stephen: I'M DOING FINE.
626
00:31:29,178 --> 00:31:32,098
I WANT TO TALK TO YOU ABOUT YOUR
PROJECTS, BUT THE FIRST THING I
627
00:31:32,181 --> 00:31:36,811
WANT TO ASK YOU ABOUT IS YOU
RECENTLY GOT CALLED OUT BY
628
00:31:36,894 --> 00:31:37,645
TUCKER CARLSON.
629
00:31:37,729 --> 00:31:43,109
WHAT DID YOU DO TO UPSET HIM?
630
00:31:43,192 --> 00:31:44,193
PERYOU BAD?
631
00:31:44,277 --> 00:31:50,366
>> APPARENTLY, I AND ABOUT A
DOZEN OTHER EVIL LEFT WING
632
00:31:50,450 --> 00:31:53,995
CELEBRITY KABAL DECIDED TO GIVE
MONEY TO SUPERVILLAINS IN THE
633
00:31:54,078 --> 00:32:03,838
STREETS -- PROTESTORS -- SO HE
DID WHAT IT LOOKED LIKE A RECORD
634
00:32:03,921 --> 00:32:10,470
AD AND HE WAS SCROLLING OUR
PHAGES ALONG.
635
00:32:10,553 --> 00:32:14,223
AT ONE POINT HE SAID HOLLYWOOD
POWER COUPLE, AND IT'S ME AND
636
00:32:14,307 --> 00:32:17,393
HARRY STYLES TOGETHER ON THE
SCREEN, AND IT SCROLLS UP TO THE
637
00:32:17,477 --> 00:32:18,561
NEXT COUPLE AND, OH, GOOD.
638
00:32:18,645 --> 00:32:23,524
>> Stephen: HE LINGERED ON
CARELL FOR A WHILE IN THAT ONE,
639
00:32:23,608 --> 00:32:24,734
TOO.
640
00:32:24,817 --> 00:32:27,695
>> I WAS SO JEALOUS BECAUSE THE
PICTURE HE CHOSE OF CARELL WAS
641
00:32:27,779 --> 00:32:32,700
THE GREAT HALF BEARD SILVER FOX,
AND HE FOUND SOME PICTURE THAT I
642
00:32:32,784 --> 00:32:36,871
THINK NBC USED WHERE I'M, LIKE,
TO THE SIDE AND SUPER DOUGHY.
643
00:32:36,954 --> 00:32:41,501
IT LOOKED LIKE SOMEBODY DID A
CANDLE OF MY FACE, I WAS SO
644
00:32:41,584 --> 00:32:43,378
BUMMED OUT, BUZZ THERE ARE
BETTER -- BECAUSE THERE ARE
645
00:32:43,461 --> 00:32:44,671
BETTER PICTURES!
646
00:32:44,754 --> 00:32:49,384
>> Stephen: I LOVE HOW HE
THOUGHT HE WAS GOING TO BURN
647
00:32:49,467 --> 00:32:50,843
YOUR GUYS.
648
00:32:50,927 --> 00:32:54,597
>> I SAW ON TWITTER THIS IS THE
BEST LIST TO BE ON.
649
00:32:54,681 --> 00:32:59,894
MY MOM GAVE ME A NOTE SAYING
YOU'RE A GOOD BOY, I ALWAYS KNEW
650
00:32:59,977 --> 00:33:01,187
YOU WERE, SO PROUD OF YOU.
651
00:33:01,270 --> 00:33:03,231
>> Stephen: IS THAT WHAT THIS
IS?
652
00:33:03,314 --> 00:33:04,023
GOOD BOY.
653
00:33:04,107 --> 00:33:04,774
>> YOU'RE A GOOD BOY.
654
00:33:04,857 --> 00:33:05,566
>> Stephen: THAT'S NICE.
655
00:33:05,650 --> 00:33:13,908
WHAT MORE DO YOU WANT FROM YOUR
MOM?
656
00:33:13,991 --> 00:33:15,284
>> EXACTLY, SHE'S SO PROUD.
657
00:33:15,368 --> 00:33:17,537
THAT'S ONE TO HAVE THE THINGS I
CAN PUT IN THE TIME CAPSULE.
658
00:33:17,620 --> 00:33:20,581
>> Stephen: AS A STANDUP HOW
ARE YOU HANDLING QUARANTINE?
659
00:33:20,665 --> 00:33:22,125
YOU TOUR AND THERE'S NO
AUDIENCE.
660
00:33:22,208 --> 00:33:24,293
I HAVEN'T HAD AN AUDIENCE FOR
THREE AND A HALF MONTHS,
661
00:33:24,377 --> 00:33:26,212
SOMETHING LIKE THAT.
662
00:33:26,295 --> 00:33:26,879
WHAT'S THAT LIKE FOR YOU.
663
00:33:26,963 --> 00:33:29,215
>> IS THIS I MEAN, IT'S ROUGH.
664
00:33:29,298 --> 00:33:32,885
ALL MY BEST WRITING HAPPENS IN
FRONT OF AN AUDIENCE ON A STAGE
665
00:33:32,969 --> 00:33:36,931
AND I DON'T HAVE THE EGO TO
GO -- PEOPLE SHOULD DIE IN ORDER
666
00:33:37,014 --> 00:33:38,474
TO SEE MY COMEDY.
667
00:33:38,558 --> 00:33:42,311
I CAN'T GET PEOPLE TO COME OUT
AND SEE IT LIVE IN ANY GOOD
668
00:33:42,395 --> 00:33:45,690
CONSCIENCE, SO I'M JUST STAYING
HOME, STAYING IN AND TRYING TO
669
00:33:45,773 --> 00:33:47,108
STAY AS SAFE AS I CAN.
670
00:33:47,191 --> 00:33:50,570
>> Stephen: BUT I HEARD --
WE'VE GOT A CLIP HERE, YOU
671
00:33:50,653 --> 00:33:52,572
ACTUALLY DID A SHOW ON YOUR
FRONT LAWN.
672
00:33:52,655 --> 00:33:54,782
>> ALL RIGHT, FOLKS!
673
00:33:54,866 --> 00:33:56,242
THANKS FOR STAYING IN TONIGHT!
674
00:33:56,325 --> 00:34:00,455
HOPE YOU GUYS ARE ACE LATING AND
SECURING IN PLACE!
675
00:34:00,538 --> 00:34:05,293
THIS IS COVID 19, I TELL YA, YOU
KNOW, I DIDN'T SEE COVID 1
676
00:34:05,376 --> 00:34:08,963
THROUGH 18, SO I DON'T KNOW
REALLY KNOW WHAT THIS IS ALL
677
00:34:09,047 --> 00:34:10,298
ABOUT.
678
00:34:10,381 --> 00:34:14,135
BUT, HEY, YOU KNOW, GREAT TIME
TO CATCH UP ON YOUR STREAMING
679
00:34:14,218 --> 00:34:14,635
STUFF.
680
00:34:14,719 --> 00:34:15,803
OH, HEY!
681
00:34:15,887 --> 00:34:16,763
HOW YOU DOING THERE?
682
00:34:16,846 --> 00:34:20,933
HOW YOU DOING TODAY?
683
00:34:21,017 --> 00:34:24,312
>> Stephen: HOW WAS THAT?
684
00:34:24,395 --> 00:34:25,813
THAT WAS JUST ME.
685
00:34:25,897 --> 00:34:30,818
THAT WAS THE SUNDAY AFTER THEY
ANNOUNCED THE STAY-AT-HOME
686
00:34:30,902 --> 00:34:31,861
ORDER.
687
00:34:31,944 --> 00:34:35,364
THAT WAS SUNDAY MARCH 15, SO
THAT WAS ME IMMEDIATELY
688
00:34:35,448 --> 00:34:37,742
IMAGINING THE WORST.
689
00:34:37,825 --> 00:34:42,914
KNOWING COMEDIANS OR HOW NEEDY I
A, I SAW US STUMBLING ON OUR
690
00:34:42,997 --> 00:34:44,373
FRONT LOPS AND TRYING TO
ENTERTAIN THE NEIGHBORHOOD.
691
00:34:44,457 --> 00:34:51,339
IT WAS WEIRD HOW SO MANY OF MY
FRIENDS, THE PART WHERE LITTLE
692
00:34:51,422 --> 00:34:55,301
ALICE WALKS ALONG AND GOES YOU
STUCK, THAT WAS COMFORTING FOR
693
00:34:55,384 --> 00:34:58,513
THEM TO SEE A HECKLER YELLING AT
YOU, THAT'S HOW MUCH THEY WERE
694
00:34:58,596 --> 00:34:59,347
MISSING IT, ALREADY.
695
00:34:59,430 --> 00:35:03,309
>> Stephen: THAT'S HOME
COOKIN'.
696
00:35:03,392 --> 00:35:04,352
>> IT REALLY WAS.
697
00:35:04,435 --> 00:35:06,312
IT'S HOME COOKING.
698
00:35:06,395 --> 00:35:07,230
>> Stephen: I HAVE A BONE TO
PICK WITH YOU.
699
00:35:07,313 --> 00:35:09,357
YOU HAVE A HAIRCUT.
700
00:35:09,440 --> 00:35:13,027
>> I DO HAVE A HAIRCUT, DON'T I?
701
00:35:13,110 --> 00:35:14,737
>> Stephen: HOW DO YOU HAVE A
HAIRCUT?
702
00:35:14,821 --> 00:35:16,864
ARE YOU A RENEGADE?
703
00:35:16,948 --> 00:35:19,575
>> NO, I REALLY LUCKED OUT.
704
00:35:19,659 --> 00:35:24,664
AMONG ALL THE TALENTS MY WIFE
MEREDITH HAS, SHE, TURNS OUT,
705
00:35:24,747 --> 00:35:28,376
CAN REALLY, REALLY CUT WELL
REALLY WELL, AND HAS BEEN DOING
706
00:35:28,459 --> 00:35:31,420
THESE AMAZING HAIRCUTS OUTEN OUR
BACK PORCH.
707
00:35:31,504 --> 00:35:33,047
I LOOK GOOD.
708
00:35:33,130 --> 00:35:36,676
AND THE FIRST MONTH, I DIDN'T
CUT MY HAIR AND I WAS TURNING
709
00:35:36,759 --> 00:35:38,386
INTO A WOLVERINE.
710
00:35:38,469 --> 00:35:42,181
SO SHE GOES, WE GOT TO FIX THIS,
YOU LOOK INSANE NOW.
711
00:35:42,265 --> 00:35:48,563
>> Stephen: DOES YOUR HAIR
EVER GET LONG OR JUST GO OUT?
712
00:35:48,646 --> 00:35:50,064
>> IT JUST POPS.
713
00:35:50,147 --> 00:35:52,733
THE FIRST TIME SHE GAVE ME A
HAIRCUT, IT WAS SO BIG, THE
714
00:35:52,817 --> 00:35:55,403
FIRST CUT SHE MADE, SHE WENT,
WHOOPS!
715
00:35:55,486 --> 00:35:57,446
I SAID, WHAT DO YOU MEAN,
WHOOPS?
716
00:35:57,530 --> 00:36:02,410
SHE HAD TO CUT SO MUCH OF IT, IT
WAS THIS HUGE, CRAZY LOOKING
717
00:36:02,493 --> 00:36:05,955
CHUNK, AND OUR DAUGHTER WAS
LAUGHING HER HEAD OFF.
718
00:36:06,038 --> 00:36:10,751
WHEN SHE CUT EVERYTHING DOWN TO
MATCH THE MISTAKE, IT LOOKED
719
00:36:10,835 --> 00:36:11,377
GREAT.
720
00:36:11,460 --> 00:36:12,879
>> Stephen: FANTASTIC.
721
00:36:12,962 --> 00:36:14,422
I DON'T THINK I'M GOING TO
GET A HAIRCUT UNLESS IT'S FROM
722
00:36:14,505 --> 00:36:16,048
HER.
723
00:36:16,132 --> 00:36:19,093
I THINK I'M DONE PAYING FOR
HAIRCUTS, SO THAT'S A GOOD THING
724
00:36:19,176 --> 00:36:20,219
THAT CAME OUT OF THIS.
725
00:36:20,303 --> 00:36:22,638
>> Stephen: SURE, KA-CHING.
726
00:36:22,722 --> 00:36:24,599
PATTON, WE'LL HAVE TO TAKE A
BREAK.
727
00:36:24,682 --> 00:36:25,474
BACK WITH MORE OF AMERICA'S
SWEETHEART PATTON OSWALT.
728
00:36:50,666 --> 00:36:51,834
♪
>> EVEN AS HE DESECRATES AND
729
00:36:51,918 --> 00:36:55,296
UNDERMINES THE INSTITUTIONS THAT
MAKE IT POSSIBLE BUT TO ME
730
00:36:55,379 --> 00:37:00,301
BARR'S CROWNING DISHONESTY --
>> THERE ARE NO RULES ABOUT WHEN
731
00:37:00,384 --> 00:37:02,511
PEOPLE -- THERE'S NO RULES ABOUT
WHEN YOU CAN MAKE NOISE.
732
00:37:02,595 --> 00:37:04,931
>> ORDER IN THE ROOM, THERE'S A
BANGING.
733
00:37:05,014 --> 00:37:09,185
>> NO, THERE'S CERTAINLY NOT.
734
00:37:09,268 --> 00:37:15,441
MR. CHAIRMAN WOULD YOU HAVE
GENE REMOVED?
735
00:37:15,524 --> 00:37:22,990
>> HE'S TOO DUCHE-Y, WE HAVE TO
CROSS THE STREET!
736
00:37:23,074 --> 00:37:23,866
>> WHO ARE YOU GUYS?
737
00:37:23,950 --> 00:37:25,159
THE DOUCHE BUSTERS!
738
00:37:41,968 --> 00:37:42,468
♪
>> Stephen: WE'RE BACK WITH
739
00:37:42,551 --> 00:37:44,845
COMEDIAN PATTON OSWALT.
740
00:37:44,929 --> 00:37:46,472
I KNOW THERE'S A NEW H.B.O. DOCK
CUE SERIES "ILL BE GONE IN THE
741
00:37:46,555 --> 00:37:48,683
DARK" BASED ON YOUR WIFE.
742
00:37:48,766 --> 00:37:50,851
TELL US WHAT IT'S ABOUT.
743
00:37:50,935 --> 00:37:56,857
>> MY SHELL MAC McNAMARA.
744
00:37:56,941 --> 00:37:58,067
TELL US WHAT IT'S ABOUT.
745
00:37:58,150 --> 00:38:06,534
>> IT'S ABOUT THE GOLDEN STATE
KILLER, WHICH MICHELLE CAME UP
746
00:38:06,617 --> 00:38:09,829
WITH THAT NAME, WHICH HELPED TO
PUT HEAT AND INTEREST BACK ON
747
00:38:09,912 --> 00:38:10,871
THE CASE.
748
00:38:10,955 --> 00:38:12,581
IT TALKS TO THE SURVIVORS AND
VICTIMS.
749
00:38:12,665 --> 00:38:17,336
IT'S A MASSIVE THREE-PAR KIND OF
TRUE CRIME EPIC.
750
00:38:17,420 --> 00:38:23,551
IT'S DIRECTED BY LIZ GARBUS WHO
DID THE SIMONE DOCUMENTARY AND
751
00:38:23,634 --> 00:38:24,885
THE "NEW YORK TIMES" ONE.
752
00:38:24,969 --> 00:38:31,559
SHE IS SUCH AN AMAZING
DOCUMENTTARIAN AND IT'S A
753
00:38:31,642 --> 00:38:33,894
WONDERFUL PIECE OF WORK.
754
00:38:33,978 --> 00:38:36,230
>> Stephen: YOU WERE ALSO
INTERVIEWED AND, OBVIOUSLY, THIS
755
00:38:36,313 --> 00:38:37,565
IS VERY PERSONAL FOR YOU.
756
00:38:37,648 --> 00:38:38,566
WHAT WAS THE MOST IMPORTANT
THING ABOUT THIS DOCUMENTARY FOR
757
00:38:38,649 --> 00:38:41,027
YOU?
758
00:38:41,110 --> 00:38:45,072
>> I THINK THE MOST IMPORTANT
THING FOR ME WAS MAKING SURE TO
759
00:38:45,156 --> 00:38:47,533
SPOTLIGHT THE STUFF MICHELLE
WANTED TO IN THE BOOK WHICH IS
760
00:38:47,616 --> 00:38:53,497
NAMELY THE VICTIMS' LIVES,
RESILIENCE FROM BOUNCING BACK
761
00:38:53,581 --> 00:38:59,045
FROM THIS TRAGEDY THEY
ENCOUNTERED AND ALSO GETTING A
762
00:38:59,128 --> 00:39:02,006
FULLER PICTURE OF HER AND BY
DOING THAT SHOWING A FULLER
763
00:39:02,089 --> 00:39:05,551
PICTURE OF WHAT DRIVES THE
PEOPLE TO INVESTIGATE CRIMES,
764
00:39:05,634 --> 00:39:08,596
THE KIND OF MINDSET THAT IS
DRAWN TO THAT.
765
00:39:08,679 --> 00:39:12,058
AND LIZ DOES THAT WITH FLYING
COLORS.
766
00:39:12,141 --> 00:39:14,268
>> Stephen: IT'S AN
EXTRAORDINARY DOCUMENTARY
767
00:39:14,351 --> 00:39:18,439
SERIES.
768
00:39:18,522 --> 00:39:19,231
PATTON, THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR
BEING HERE.
769
00:39:19,315 --> 00:39:21,734
>> THANK YOU, STEPHEN, FOR
HAVING ME.
770
00:39:21,817 --> 00:39:26,739
AND IF WE CAN GET MEREDITH OUT
TO NEW YORK SAFELY, SHE WILL
771
00:39:26,822 --> 00:39:31,327
HAPPILY CUT YOUR HAIR SIX-FEET
DISTANT, SO KEEP THAT IN MIND.
772
00:39:31,410 --> 00:39:32,495
>> Stephen: I'LL TAKE IT.
773
00:39:32,578 --> 00:39:36,415
BELIEVE ME, IF I DIDN'T HAVE
HAIR SPRAY RIGHT NOW, IT WOULD
774
00:39:36,499 --> 00:39:39,960
BE FLUFFED UP LIKE SYNDROME.
775
00:39:40,044 --> 00:39:40,878
( LAUGHTER )
>> EXACTLY, YEAH, THAT'S WHERE
776
00:39:40,961 --> 00:39:43,297
MINE WAS SETTING SO LUCKILY SHE
STEPPED IN
777
00:39:43,380 --> 00:39:44,924
>> STEPHEN: "I'LL BE GONE IN THE
DARK" PREMIERES THIS SUNDAY ON
778
00:39:45,007 --> 00:39:45,633
HBO.
779
00:39:45,716 --> 00:39:47,635
PATTON OSWALT, EVERYBODY!
780
00:39:47,718 --> 00:39:48,260
WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK.
781
00:39:58,687 --> 00:40:00,147
>> STEPHEN: THAT'S IT FOR "A
LATE SHOW."
782
00:40:00,231 --> 00:40:01,816
WE'RE TAKING A LITTLE BREAK
COMING UP.
783
00:40:01,899 --> 00:40:04,151
I WANT YOU TO HAVE A GREAT
FOURTH OF JULY.
784
00:40:04,235 --> 00:40:07,613
WE HOLD THESE TRUTHS TO BE
SELF-EVIDENT, "BLACK LIVES
785
00:40:07,696 --> 00:40:08,280
MATTER."
786
00:40:08,364 --> 00:40:10,032
STICK AROUND FOR JAMES CORDEN.
787
00:40:10,116 --> 00:40:13,661
BUT FIRST, STICK AROUND FOR SOME
MUSIC FROM JON BATISTE AND "STAY
788
00:40:13,744 --> 00:40:15,037
HUMAN."
789
00:40:15,121 --> 00:40:16,997
♪
♪
790
00:40:17,081 --> 00:40:19,667
♪
Captioning sponsored by CBS
791
00:40:23,879 --> 00:40:26,674
Captioned by
Media Access Group at WGBH
792
00:40:26,757 --> 00:40:27,299
access.wgbh.org
64819
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