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AmericasCardroom.com brings poker back
Million Dollar Sunday Tournament every Sunday
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00:00:12,000 --> 00:00:15,164
- Roofie: How you persevering?
- Kevin: Oh, my God.
3
00:00:15,174 --> 00:00:18,180
My head feels like a dark, dank cave.
4
00:00:18,513 --> 00:00:20,607
And there's a teeny
tiny construction worker
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00:00:20,617 --> 00:00:23,463
jackhammering on a never-ending loop.
6
00:00:23,473 --> 00:00:25,685
Okay. What'd you get into last night?
7
00:00:25,695 --> 00:00:29,827
I think I took a road
trip to Mexico with Tinya.
8
00:00:29,837 --> 00:00:32,632
Ate some chicharrónes, drank some Tequila.
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00:00:32,642 --> 00:00:34,971
Finished up the night with a donkey show.
10
00:00:34,981 --> 00:00:36,774
- Mexico's about 2,000 miles away.
- Yeah.
11
00:00:36,784 --> 00:00:37,977
And who the hell is Tinya?
12
00:00:37,987 --> 00:00:39,647
(Speaks Spanish)
13
00:00:39,657 --> 00:00:41,050
Can I get you guys anything else?
14
00:00:41,060 --> 00:00:43,623
What? We... we haven't even ordered yet.
15
00:00:43,633 --> 00:00:45,659
Oh, God. Sorry.
16
00:00:45,669 --> 00:00:48,098
- I'm, like, really hungover.
- That's my thing.
17
00:00:48,108 --> 00:00:50,804
No, this is not how I'm going
to spend my Wednesday morning.
18
00:00:50,814 --> 00:00:53,643
You two, y'all need to level out,
19
00:00:53,653 --> 00:00:55,047
because I'm gonna get you
an alcoholic beverage.
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00:00:55,055 --> 00:00:56,040
I'm gonna have one too.
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00:00:56,042 --> 00:00:57,725
So I won't be the only
one that not drinking.
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00:00:57,728 --> 00:00:59,832
Bloody mary, bloody mary, bloody mary.
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00:01:00,935 --> 00:01:02,695
(Groans)
24
00:01:02,705 --> 00:01:04,508
What's with the lights in here?
25
00:01:07,949 --> 00:01:09,709
You gonna ralph, Macchio?
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00:01:09,719 --> 00:01:11,857
No, I just, uh...
27
00:01:13,127 --> 00:01:14,219
Mary?
28
00:01:14,229 --> 00:01:17,135
Kevin?
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00:01:18,806 --> 00:01:22,747
(Rock theme playing)
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☯Synced & Corrected by Seppuku17☯
❃www.addic7ed.com❃
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Young Kevin: So, uh, what
exactly is this again?
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00:02:01,662 --> 00:02:03,856
Boy: You're supposed to
be able to talk to ghosts.
33
00:02:03,866 --> 00:02:05,236
I'm not supposed to say.
34
00:02:05,570 --> 00:02:06,828
Yeah, right.
35
00:02:06,838 --> 00:02:08,309
We're gonna summon Bloody Mary.
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00:02:08,642 --> 00:02:09,902
Sounds scary.
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00:02:09,912 --> 00:02:11,940
She was buried alive a hundred years ago.
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00:02:11,950 --> 00:02:13,352
If you say her name three times,
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00:02:13,687 --> 00:02:16,816
she appears in the mirror
and claws your eyes out.
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How's that for scary?
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That's fine. I'm just happy to be included.
42
00:02:20,634 --> 00:02:22,761
Okay. She only comes out on Halloween,
43
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and it's almost midnight. Ready?
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Both: Bloody Mary, Bloody Mary,
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Bloody Mary.
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(Thunder crashes)
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Man, I knew this was nonsense.
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00:02:41,710 --> 00:02:43,204
Right?
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Yeah... yeah.
50
00:02:44,985 --> 00:02:46,287
I'm out of here.
51
00:02:46,621 --> 00:02:48,292
Better not tell anyone I
let you hang out with me,
52
00:02:48,625 --> 00:02:50,162
shit-eater.
53
00:02:52,934 --> 00:02:55,139
You can see me, can't you?
54
00:02:57,310 --> 00:02:58,846
But you're not afraid of me, are you?
55
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How come you won't look me in the eye?
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Oh!
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Bloody Jes...
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00:03:09,201 --> 00:03:11,363
bloody Jesus. I'm sorry.
That is so embarrassing.
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00:03:11,373 --> 00:03:13,309
Something's happening.
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00:03:13,644 --> 00:03:16,239
Mary: What? I'm becoming a statue.
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00:03:16,249 --> 00:03:17,910
Oh. Oh, my God, no.
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00:03:17,920 --> 00:03:20,047
That is completely natural. You're...
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00:03:20,057 --> 00:03:21,326
you're just having an erection.
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00:03:22,796 --> 00:03:23,999
Have you never had one before?
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Um...
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00:03:28,708 --> 00:03:29,968
let's...
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00:03:29,978 --> 00:03:31,939
let's have a talk.
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00:03:31,949 --> 00:03:34,009
Kevin: I can't believe
I'm seeing you right now.
69
00:03:34,019 --> 00:03:35,914
You've come a long way from that little boy
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00:03:35,924 --> 00:03:37,326
I used to hang out with every Halloween.
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00:03:37,660 --> 00:03:39,054
Feeling pretty rough
today, I got to be honest.
72
00:03:39,064 --> 00:03:40,990
But thanks, thanks.
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00:03:41,000 --> 00:03:43,397
Come on. I'm sure the girls are,
like, beating down your door.
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00:03:43,407 --> 00:03:45,199
You know... I've been...
75
00:03:45,209 --> 00:03:48,205
yeah, I've been sort of dating
this one girl, Camomile.
76
00:03:48,215 --> 00:03:50,411
She's, uh, kind of playing hard to get,
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00:03:50,421 --> 00:03:52,425
so in turn I've been playing harder to get.
78
00:03:52,758 --> 00:03:54,419
You know, and now we're at
a point where we're both
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00:03:54,429 --> 00:03:56,389
just a little too hard for each other.
80
00:03:56,399 --> 00:03:58,428
And it's very unclear
whether either one of us
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00:03:58,438 --> 00:04:00,230
will ever be gotten.
82
00:04:00,240 --> 00:04:02,970
Well, I think you're a catch.
83
00:04:02,980 --> 00:04:04,450
Thanks.
84
00:04:07,323 --> 00:04:10,319
Welcome back to our
spooky Halloween special.
85
00:04:10,329 --> 00:04:12,824
(Audience applauds) I'm here once again
86
00:04:12,834 --> 00:04:16,096
with celebrated paranormal
communicator, Camomile White.
87
00:04:16,106 --> 00:04:17,400
It is such a pleasure to have you back.
88
00:04:17,410 --> 00:04:19,037
Thank you, Wesley.
89
00:04:19,047 --> 00:04:21,308
Let's take a call. Caller, are you there?
90
00:04:21,318 --> 00:04:23,278
Girl (Over phone): Hi,
Wesley. Hi, Camomile.
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00:04:23,288 --> 00:04:25,494
So I was planning on spending Halloween
92
00:04:25,827 --> 00:04:27,487
down at the parade in the village,
93
00:04:27,497 --> 00:04:31,027
but I wasn't sure if it was safe.
94
00:04:31,037 --> 00:04:32,999
I guess my question is, do you foresee
95
00:04:33,009 --> 00:04:36,115
any sort of tragedy?
96
00:04:39,355 --> 00:04:41,016
I see the parade.
97
00:04:41,026 --> 00:04:43,320
Big crowd.
98
00:04:43,330 --> 00:04:45,201
Lots of fun. Lots of...
99
00:04:46,870 --> 00:04:49,500
wait, there's... there's something else.
100
00:04:49,510 --> 00:04:51,169
(Audience murmurs) (Shushing)
101
00:04:51,179 --> 00:04:52,406
No.
102
00:04:52,416 --> 00:04:54,310
It's okay.
103
00:04:54,320 --> 00:04:57,016
It's just dancing.
104
00:04:57,026 --> 00:04:59,420
- Oh!
- Fear not, dear caller.
105
00:04:59,430 --> 00:05:02,193
I predict nothing but fun for you tonight.
106
00:05:02,203 --> 00:05:03,471
(Laughs)
107
00:05:03,806 --> 00:05:05,133
That's fantastic!
108
00:05:05,143 --> 00:05:07,504
Enjoy.
109
00:05:07,514 --> 00:05:09,484
Sorry, just... the reason I ask
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00:05:09,819 --> 00:05:12,347
is because I'm slightly clairvoyant myself.
111
00:05:12,357 --> 00:05:15,988
And last night I had this terrible vision.
112
00:05:15,998 --> 00:05:18,026
It was in the middle of the parade route,
113
00:05:18,036 --> 00:05:20,507
right around Waverly Place.
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00:05:20,842 --> 00:05:23,480
People were burning, screaming.
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00:05:23,815 --> 00:05:25,007
Oh. Um...
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(Clears throat)
117
00:05:26,219 --> 00:05:27,522
Miss white, uh...
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(Laughs)
119
00:05:29,426 --> 00:05:32,366
Is there any chance that
you could be mistaken?
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00:05:33,535 --> 00:05:35,505
(Inhaling deeply)
121
00:05:35,840 --> 00:05:37,233
(Shushing)
122
00:05:37,243 --> 00:05:39,269
(Exhaling)
123
00:05:39,279 --> 00:05:42,543
I stand by my earlier prediction.
124
00:05:42,553 --> 00:05:47,487
No one will be set on fire at
this year's Halloween parade.
125
00:05:47,497 --> 00:05:48,923
(Applause)
126
00:05:48,933 --> 00:05:50,961
Camomile White, ladies and gentlemen.
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00:05:50,971 --> 00:05:52,431
This is why the world loves you.
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00:05:52,441 --> 00:05:54,267
Camomile: I should set you on fire.
129
00:05:54,277 --> 00:05:55,972
You were supposed to be
monitoring the phone calls.
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00:05:55,982 --> 00:05:57,441
I don't understand. They loved you.
131
00:05:57,451 --> 00:05:59,245
I just went on national TV
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00:05:59,255 --> 00:06:01,984
and confidently predicted
that in a New York City parade
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00:06:01,994 --> 00:06:04,222
that attracts over 50,000 weirdos a year,
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00:06:04,232 --> 00:06:06,102
nobody was going to be set on fire.
135
00:06:07,205 --> 00:06:08,597
What if something happened?
136
00:06:08,607 --> 00:06:10,969
What... what if it's some kind of setup?
137
00:06:10,979 --> 00:06:12,540
Do you know how that would look for me.
138
00:06:12,550 --> 00:06:14,042
For my career?
139
00:06:14,052 --> 00:06:15,579
Boom! Up in flames.
140
00:06:15,589 --> 00:06:17,559
I'm so sorry. What can I do to fix it?
141
00:06:17,893 --> 00:06:20,499
We'll just have to go to the parade,
142
00:06:20,833 --> 00:06:22,025
check out Waverly Place,
143
00:06:22,035 --> 00:06:24,030
make sure nobody gets lit on fire.
144
00:06:24,040 --> 00:06:26,201
But what if someone does get set on fire?
145
00:06:26,211 --> 00:06:29,407
Then we'll just have to extinguish them
146
00:06:29,417 --> 00:06:33,325
before anybody notices what we do.
147
00:06:38,136 --> 00:06:40,164
Kevin: I think she was
hitting on me, Roofie.
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00:06:40,174 --> 00:06:42,635
- Roofie: What makes you say that?
- Kevin: I don't know.
149
00:06:42,645 --> 00:06:45,306
She kept asking who I was dating
and paying me compliments.
150
00:06:45,316 --> 00:06:47,145
Like, she didn't have to do that.
151
00:06:47,155 --> 00:06:48,580
Wait, where did you meet this bitch anyway?
152
00:06:48,590 --> 00:06:51,387
We met randomly in this basement
mirror when I was a kid.
153
00:06:51,397 --> 00:06:54,192
You know, she was so hot. I had
this super-mega crush on her.
154
00:06:54,202 --> 00:06:57,499
Sometimes I'd even have
wet nightmares about her.
155
00:06:57,509 --> 00:06:59,537
But all she ever saw
me as was a little kid.
156
00:06:59,547 --> 00:07:01,039
That's it.
157
00:07:01,049 --> 00:07:02,476
- What?
- It's the babysitter conundrum.
158
00:07:02,486 --> 00:07:04,012
You found a loophole.
159
00:07:04,022 --> 00:07:06,083
What's the babysitter "condrumdrum"?
160
00:07:06,093 --> 00:07:08,087
Look, it's when a boy has
a crush on his babysitter.
161
00:07:08,097 --> 00:07:09,634
But he's too young for her.
162
00:07:09,968 --> 00:07:13,064
When he finally gets old enough
where age doesn't matter to her,
163
00:07:13,074 --> 00:07:14,401
she's too old for him.
164
00:07:14,411 --> 00:07:15,646
But in this case, you know,
165
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bloody Mary's a ghost. She doesn't age.
166
00:07:17,417 --> 00:07:19,145
So you guys caught up.
167
00:07:19,155 --> 00:07:20,614
It's like fate, man.
168
00:07:20,624 --> 00:07:22,151
By this point, I'm like a full
169
00:07:22,161 --> 00:07:24,154
presidential term older than her, though.
170
00:07:24,164 --> 00:07:25,457
What are these for, by the way?
171
00:07:25,467 --> 00:07:26,637
You don't need to worry about this.
172
00:07:26,971 --> 00:07:28,163
You need to worry about getting on
173
00:07:28,173 --> 00:07:29,566
that slutty Mary's pa-chank.
174
00:07:29,576 --> 00:07:31,502
- How am I gonna do that?
- You know, I don't know.
175
00:07:31,512 --> 00:07:34,353
Be romantic. Find something
from your past together.
176
00:07:36,523 --> 00:07:38,595
(Upbeat theme playing)
177
00:07:47,178 --> 00:07:49,073
"Herro"?
178
00:07:49,083 --> 00:07:50,677
Ah... oh.
179
00:07:50,687 --> 00:07:52,313
Hi.
180
00:07:52,323 --> 00:07:53,683
"Herro."
181
00:07:53,693 --> 00:07:55,619
Can I help you?
182
00:07:55,629 --> 00:07:57,601
Sister brothers.
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00:07:59,003 --> 00:08:00,397
Hi, I... I, uh...
184
00:08:00,407 --> 00:08:02,568
I grew up here. I live...
I mean, I was an orphan.
185
00:08:02,578 --> 00:08:04,371
I grew up in the orphanage.
My name is Kevin.
186
00:08:04,381 --> 00:08:06,543
Kevin Pacalioglu.
187
00:08:06,553 --> 00:08:08,446
Oh, shit-eater.
188
00:08:08,456 --> 00:08:10,418
- Yeah. Yeah.
- Oh, what's that?
189
00:08:10,428 --> 00:08:11,620
- Oh.
- (Laughs)
190
00:08:11,630 --> 00:08:13,390
I, uh... I just stopped in
191
00:08:13,400 --> 00:08:16,129
because I wanted to ask you
a question about a mirror.
192
00:08:16,139 --> 00:08:18,434
A really special mirror that
used to be in the basement here.
193
00:08:18,444 --> 00:08:20,605
Uh, a friend of mine really loved it.
194
00:08:20,615 --> 00:08:23,645
A friend whose pa-chank I'm
desperately trying to beat up,
195
00:08:23,655 --> 00:08:25,115
- if you will.
- Oh.
196
00:08:25,125 --> 00:08:27,218
I was wondering if I could purchase,
197
00:08:27,228 --> 00:08:29,725
perchance borrow it, off of you.
198
00:08:29,735 --> 00:08:31,461
- Borrow it off of me?
- Yeah, borrow it...
199
00:08:31,471 --> 00:08:33,399
- Where's your English?
- Borrow it...
200
00:08:33,409 --> 00:08:34,677
- from me?
- For you... off of you.
201
00:08:35,012 --> 00:08:36,749
- You want to borrow a mirror?
- Can I borrow the mirror?
202
00:08:37,083 --> 00:08:40,313
You're the one who could
talk to spirits, aren't you?
203
00:08:40,323 --> 00:08:42,550
I'm not really supposed to say.
204
00:08:42,560 --> 00:08:44,321
No. Well, come with me.
205
00:08:44,331 --> 00:08:46,235
There's something I want
you to take a look at.
206
00:08:49,042 --> 00:08:51,469
Oh, wow.
207
00:08:51,479 --> 00:08:54,442
They really spruced up the place, huh?
208
00:08:54,452 --> 00:08:56,446
Did the state step in or something?
209
00:08:56,456 --> 00:08:58,216
All right, Kevin, listen to me.
210
00:08:58,226 --> 00:09:01,724
There have been some incidents recently.
211
00:09:01,734 --> 00:09:03,126
Ah.
212
00:09:03,136 --> 00:09:04,396
Kids getting hurt
213
00:09:04,406 --> 00:09:06,333
in horrible and inexplicable ways.
214
00:09:06,343 --> 00:09:08,171
Now, I can't be sure,
215
00:09:08,181 --> 00:09:12,181
but I believe there's
an evil spirit present.
216
00:09:13,058 --> 00:09:16,555
Now, if you can get rid of this demon,
217
00:09:16,565 --> 00:09:19,294
you can have that mirror for free.
218
00:09:19,304 --> 00:09:21,364
You got yourself a deal, sister.
219
00:09:21,374 --> 00:09:23,235
Good luck, and I'll come back to you later.
220
00:09:23,245 --> 00:09:25,249
Okay, thank you, sister brothers.
221
00:09:26,486 --> 00:09:29,558
(Dramatic theme playing)
222
00:09:48,331 --> 00:09:49,724
Whoa.
223
00:09:49,734 --> 00:09:51,461
Let's go play somewhere else.
224
00:09:51,471 --> 00:09:54,310
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Not right
under a teeter-totter.
225
00:09:55,479 --> 00:09:57,550
(Bleep) me on a cross.
226
00:10:02,165 --> 00:10:04,125
You're not so bad.
227
00:10:04,135 --> 00:10:05,295
Look at you.
228
00:10:05,305 --> 00:10:07,035
Ow! Foot!
229
00:10:08,305 --> 00:10:09,645
(Groans)
230
00:10:09,975 --> 00:10:11,335
All right, listen, you little creep.
231
00:10:11,345 --> 00:10:13,075
Uh, let's get down to unfinished business.
232
00:10:13,085 --> 00:10:15,175
I'm kind of in a rush. (Snarling)
233
00:10:15,185 --> 00:10:17,045
All right, look, I want
to help you. I really do.
234
00:10:17,055 --> 00:10:19,185
But you have to tell me how, all right?
235
00:10:19,195 --> 00:10:20,555
I'm not a mind-reader. I'm a medium.
236
00:10:20,565 --> 00:10:21,635
(Snarling)
237
00:10:21,965 --> 00:10:24,435
I get that reaction a lot, actually.
238
00:10:24,445 --> 00:10:25,615
Uh, why don't we start over again.
239
00:10:25,945 --> 00:10:28,375
Here, all right? Here, look at this.
240
00:10:28,385 --> 00:10:29,655
Look at this flower.
241
00:10:29,985 --> 00:10:32,345
(Growls)
242
00:10:32,355 --> 00:10:34,415
And you've ruined it with your mind.
243
00:10:34,425 --> 00:10:35,635
That's lovely.
244
00:10:37,335 --> 00:10:38,595
What have you found?
245
00:10:38,605 --> 00:10:40,465
Well, uh, I think I found your spirit.
246
00:10:40,475 --> 00:10:43,535
It appears he does have an
evil ghost orphan child,
247
00:10:43,545 --> 00:10:45,545
which is like the worst kind of ghost,
248
00:10:45,555 --> 00:10:47,375
and also the worst kind of child.
249
00:10:47,385 --> 00:10:48,585
She refuses to talk to me,
250
00:10:48,595 --> 00:10:50,185
so I have no idea how to help her.
251
00:10:50,195 --> 00:10:52,625
Well, if you want that special mirror,
252
00:10:52,635 --> 00:10:54,225
you have to deal with
that ghost child first.
253
00:10:54,235 --> 00:10:55,425
Please, sister brothers.
254
00:10:55,435 --> 00:10:56,675
I need that mirror by midnight.
255
00:10:57,005 --> 00:10:58,635
Well, then you'd better get back in there.
256
00:10:58,645 --> 00:11:02,245
Get busy. Remember, idle hands
are the devil's playground.
257
00:11:02,255 --> 00:11:04,075
No, this is the devil's playground.
258
00:11:04,085 --> 00:11:05,425
Oh, go on now.
259
00:11:08,565 --> 00:11:10,235
(Inaudible)
260
00:11:13,575 --> 00:11:16,205
Okay, so welcome to my apartment.
261
00:11:16,215 --> 00:11:17,405
Come on in.
262
00:11:17,415 --> 00:11:19,625
(Speaking indistinctly)
263
00:11:19,955 --> 00:11:21,445
No, Blob. I can't take
you for a float right now.
264
00:11:21,455 --> 00:11:23,695
- Why?
- Because I have company.
265
00:11:24,035 --> 00:11:25,295
I don't have to explain myself to you.
266
00:11:25,305 --> 00:11:28,395
(Snarling) Guys, guys. Come on.
267
00:11:28,405 --> 00:11:30,165
Hey, that's the last
thing I need right now.
268
00:11:30,175 --> 00:11:31,405
Okay?
269
00:11:31,415 --> 00:11:33,455
Stop. Go get in your box.
270
00:11:35,285 --> 00:11:37,695
Okay, so can you tell
me your name at least?
271
00:11:38,025 --> 00:11:40,425
No. Okay. What if I guess your name?
272
00:11:40,435 --> 00:11:42,195
If I guess your name will you nod?
273
00:11:42,205 --> 00:11:44,335
You'll nod. Good, great.
274
00:11:44,345 --> 00:11:45,715
I'm just gonna, like, rattle
off a bunch of girl names,
275
00:11:46,045 --> 00:11:47,645
and if I happen to get it, you stop me.
276
00:11:47,985 --> 00:11:49,345
All right? So here we go.
277
00:11:49,355 --> 00:11:52,215
Uh, Amber, Rachel, Jen...
278
00:11:52,225 --> 00:11:53,515
What?
279
00:11:53,525 --> 00:11:55,585
What... Rachel?
280
00:11:55,595 --> 00:11:57,765
Uh, Amber?
281
00:11:58,105 --> 00:11:59,735
It was the first one?
282
00:12:00,075 --> 00:12:01,265
I got it on the first shot.
283
00:12:01,275 --> 00:12:02,465
(Laughs)
284
00:12:02,475 --> 00:12:03,675
What are the odds of that?
285
00:12:03,685 --> 00:12:05,615
(Train clanging)
286
00:12:08,525 --> 00:12:10,455
Everything looks good.
287
00:12:10,465 --> 00:12:12,695
Boy, is it hot in here or is it just...?
288
00:12:13,035 --> 00:12:14,525
Whoa!
289
00:12:14,535 --> 00:12:16,795
What the hell is going on here?
290
00:12:16,805 --> 00:12:18,745
You told me to get you the authentic one,
291
00:12:19,045 --> 00:12:21,145
and to just buy the
cheapest one for myself.
292
00:12:21,155 --> 00:12:25,345
This and this worries me.
293
00:12:25,355 --> 00:12:28,355
It's October outside. It's freezing cold.
294
00:12:28,365 --> 00:12:30,155
I can't have my assistant getting sick.
295
00:12:30,165 --> 00:12:33,175
You know what? You're
going to have to wear mine.
296
00:12:36,515 --> 00:12:38,405
See? This is so much better.
297
00:12:38,415 --> 00:12:40,285
I look amazing.
298
00:12:40,295 --> 00:12:42,185
And you still look sexy.
299
00:12:42,195 --> 00:12:43,625
Yeah, actually, I kind of do,
300
00:12:43,635 --> 00:12:46,065
just in like a masculine kind of way.
301
00:12:49,475 --> 00:12:51,335
So here's the backstory.
302
00:12:51,345 --> 00:12:53,775
I am a sexy, heroic firefighter,
303
00:12:53,785 --> 00:12:56,685
- and you are a burn victim.
- I don't get it.
304
00:12:56,695 --> 00:12:58,685
Wasn't the whole point of a fireman costume
305
00:12:58,695 --> 00:13:00,725
to justify the fire extinguishers?
306
00:13:00,735 --> 00:13:02,525
You know, the ones we'll need
in order to put out any fires
307
00:13:02,535 --> 00:13:03,765
at the parade?
308
00:13:03,775 --> 00:13:06,205
The plan is constantly evolving, Sue.
309
00:13:06,215 --> 00:13:07,605
It's alive. It's fluid.
310
00:13:07,615 --> 00:13:10,605
- Try and keep up, okay?
- (Doorbell rings)
311
00:13:10,615 --> 00:13:12,285
Man: Trick or treat.
312
00:13:13,825 --> 00:13:15,425
Well, it's about time.
313
00:13:18,105 --> 00:13:19,305
(Snaps fingers)
314
00:13:21,845 --> 00:13:24,435
Miss White, are you sure
it's wise to be on drugs
315
00:13:24,445 --> 00:13:25,855
during this operation?
316
00:13:26,185 --> 00:13:28,445
These are just a little
something to help me focus.
317
00:13:28,455 --> 00:13:31,655
What are you looking at, you little demon?
318
00:13:31,665 --> 00:13:32,795
Out.
319
00:13:33,135 --> 00:13:34,325
Now pull the car around.
320
00:13:34,335 --> 00:13:35,595
We don't want to be late.
321
00:13:35,605 --> 00:13:38,175
I love Halloween.
322
00:13:40,615 --> 00:13:42,675
Kevin: Sugar? Hmm.
323
00:13:42,685 --> 00:13:45,325
The finer things, huh?
324
00:13:46,595 --> 00:13:47,785
There we go.
325
00:13:47,795 --> 00:13:50,255
Ooh, uh, how about a scone?
326
00:13:50,265 --> 00:13:53,465
I only got one, but I thought
maybe we could split it.
327
00:13:53,475 --> 00:13:55,815
Let me get my steak knife.
328
00:13:56,145 --> 00:13:57,375
I call her steak knively.
329
00:13:57,385 --> 00:13:58,675
(Laughs)
330
00:13:58,685 --> 00:13:59,875
Uh, I'm just gonna cut it in half.
331
00:13:59,885 --> 00:14:02,415
Oh, it's a little hard. Not stale.
332
00:14:02,425 --> 00:14:03,755
These day-olds are just a little cheaper.
333
00:14:03,765 --> 00:14:05,555
And, uh, they taste the same
334
00:14:05,565 --> 00:14:06,895
if you microwave them for about 15 seconds.
335
00:14:06,905 --> 00:14:08,695
Look, I can't... I can't do this.
336
00:14:08,705 --> 00:14:10,835
This is a two-way street, okay?
You got to communicate with me.
337
00:14:10,845 --> 00:14:12,775
I can't help you if you
don't tell me what you want.
338
00:14:12,785 --> 00:14:14,845
Come on, man. Help me out here.
339
00:14:14,855 --> 00:14:16,545
I need that mirror
340
00:14:16,555 --> 00:14:17,785
so I can impress Bloody Mary.
341
00:14:17,795 --> 00:14:19,415
She only comes out on Halloween,
342
00:14:19,425 --> 00:14:21,425
and sweet baby Lucifer,
Halloween is almost over.
343
00:14:21,435 --> 00:14:22,905
So just tell me.
344
00:14:26,575 --> 00:14:27,845
You want a psychic reading?
345
00:14:28,185 --> 00:14:29,675
No, that's Camomile White.
346
00:14:29,685 --> 00:14:31,955
She is a super-psycho hot b-i-t-c-h
347
00:14:32,255 --> 00:14:33,785
that I dated for a while.
348
00:14:33,795 --> 00:14:35,515
And I don't really want
to talk about it anymore.
349
00:14:35,525 --> 00:14:36,885
So why don't you just
mind your own business
350
00:14:36,895 --> 00:14:39,775
and drink your chamomile tea white now.
351
00:14:42,205 --> 00:14:43,435
What are you doing?
352
00:14:43,445 --> 00:14:46,505
No. No.
353
00:14:46,515 --> 00:14:47,875
You're my nightmare.
354
00:14:47,885 --> 00:14:50,965
Let me get my cleaning supplies.
355
00:14:51,295 --> 00:14:53,385
Why did I have to make imaginary black tea?
356
00:14:53,395 --> 00:14:54,795
You're all hopped up and acting crazy.
357
00:14:54,805 --> 00:14:57,895
(Imitating spritzing sound)
358
00:14:57,905 --> 00:14:59,985
So... Amber?
359
00:15:02,685 --> 00:15:04,355
Steak knively?
360
00:15:15,165 --> 00:15:17,865
What up, Tyson? How we doing tonight?
361
00:15:17,875 --> 00:15:19,105
(Laughs)
362
00:15:19,115 --> 00:15:20,935
(Cell phone rings)
363
00:15:20,945 --> 00:15:22,145
Yo, what up?
364
00:15:22,155 --> 00:15:24,075
Hey, Roofie, it's me, man.
365
00:15:24,085 --> 00:15:26,285
I'm freaking out. I'm in crisis
zone here. I lost my ghost.
366
00:15:26,295 --> 00:15:28,185
And she's an evil little demon baby.
367
00:15:28,195 --> 00:15:31,255
She got steak knively with her,
and she means to do great harm.
368
00:15:31,265 --> 00:15:34,935
Calm down, calm down. Where was
the last place you seen her?
369
00:15:34,945 --> 00:15:37,705
She was here. We were having a
lovely tea party on the floor.
370
00:15:37,715 --> 00:15:39,105
All right, what was she doing?
371
00:15:39,115 --> 00:15:42,715
Uh, she was looking at this magazine here.
372
00:15:42,725 --> 00:15:44,315
Oh, my word.
373
00:15:44,325 --> 00:15:47,995
Roofie, where do you think
Camomile White is right now?
374
00:15:48,005 --> 00:15:49,935
Look, how the hell am I supposed
to know where Camomile White is
375
00:15:49,945 --> 00:15:51,365
on Halloween?
376
00:15:51,375 --> 00:15:53,345
Come on, man. That's like asking
377
00:15:53,685 --> 00:15:55,105
where kid rock is on the
4th of July. I don't know.
378
00:15:55,115 --> 00:15:56,345
Pick a Hooters.
379
00:15:56,355 --> 00:15:58,185
(Laughs): I'm serious.
380
00:15:58,195 --> 00:15:59,815
- Hey, Roof.
- What up, what up?
381
00:15:59,825 --> 00:16:01,255
I think I know
382
00:16:01,265 --> 00:16:03,305
where that Camomile
White bitch is right now.
383
00:16:03,635 --> 00:16:06,235
You deep in this, aren't you?
384
00:16:06,245 --> 00:16:08,115
(Upbeat theme playing)
385
00:16:13,295 --> 00:16:15,985
This is absolute madness! It's not working!
386
00:16:15,995 --> 00:16:17,335
Maybe we should split up!
387
00:16:17,665 --> 00:16:19,055
We should split up!
388
00:16:19,065 --> 00:16:21,395
You go that way and I'll go this way.
389
00:16:21,405 --> 00:16:23,775
Keep phone on!
390
00:16:45,795 --> 00:16:47,115
Oh! Hey, hey, hey.
391
00:16:47,125 --> 00:16:48,435
Give me this. Give... give me that.
392
00:16:48,765 --> 00:16:50,435
What is this? What are
you, kidding me with this?
393
00:16:50,765 --> 00:16:53,395
You can't just wander around
decapitating people willy-nilly.
394
00:16:53,405 --> 00:16:55,305
That's not what you do. Bad!
395
00:16:55,315 --> 00:16:57,075
Bad ghost child. (Snarls)
396
00:16:57,085 --> 00:16:58,455
Who taught you how to carry
a sharp knife anyway, huh?
397
00:16:58,785 --> 00:17:00,445
You don't just carry it down like this.
398
00:17:00,455 --> 00:17:02,445
You carry it with the blade
up. That way if you fall,
399
00:17:02,455 --> 00:17:04,255
you kill yourself instantly.
400
00:17:04,265 --> 00:17:05,825
Common sense. God.
401
00:17:05,835 --> 00:17:07,055
And since we're getting to know
402
00:17:07,065 --> 00:17:08,265
steak knively so well anyway...
403
00:17:08,275 --> 00:17:11,165
flip her upside down.
404
00:17:11,175 --> 00:17:13,005
Lighter-meiser.
405
00:17:13,015 --> 00:17:15,275
You. What the hell are you doing here?
406
00:17:15,285 --> 00:17:16,455
(Stammering): Nothing.
407
00:17:16,785 --> 00:17:19,185
Uh, just... oh, my fingertips
are, like, freezing.
408
00:17:19,195 --> 00:17:20,365
Oh, my God.
409
00:17:20,695 --> 00:17:22,855
- It was you.
- What?
410
00:17:22,865 --> 00:17:25,865
I should have known. You
should have known what?
411
00:17:25,875 --> 00:17:27,935
You were going to come to the
parade and set yourself on fire
412
00:17:27,945 --> 00:17:30,175
- just to make me look bad.
- No.
413
00:17:30,185 --> 00:17:32,845
Madam, I assure you I
hatched no such scheme.
414
00:17:32,855 --> 00:17:34,115
Right. I'm phoning the police.
415
00:17:34,125 --> 00:17:35,455
Don't phone the police.
416
00:17:35,465 --> 00:17:38,435
Don't call the cops. It... it was me.
417
00:17:38,765 --> 00:17:40,065
What?
418
00:17:40,075 --> 00:17:41,435
I was the caller on the talk show.
419
00:17:41,775 --> 00:17:44,305
I had never been to the
Greenwich Village parade before.
420
00:17:44,315 --> 00:17:46,375
I've always wanted to go, but
you always made me stay home
421
00:17:46,385 --> 00:17:49,075
so you could watch me eat candy.
422
00:17:49,085 --> 00:17:52,355
You are going to eat so
much candy right now.
423
00:17:52,365 --> 00:17:56,505
And you're going to swallow all of it.
424
00:17:56,835 --> 00:17:59,165
Oh, my God. I'm so turned on right now.
425
00:17:59,175 --> 00:18:01,005
Why did you... why did you
just save me like that?
426
00:18:01,015 --> 00:18:02,405
Camomile: Come on, Sue! Right bloody now!
427
00:18:02,415 --> 00:18:03,975
I have to go.
428
00:18:03,985 --> 00:18:05,445
When she starts in with the "bloody's",
429
00:18:05,455 --> 00:18:07,115
I know she's really upset.
430
00:18:07,125 --> 00:18:08,465
No, you don't have to
do everything she says.
431
00:18:08,795 --> 00:18:10,025
Oh...
432
00:18:10,035 --> 00:18:11,425
those two.
433
00:18:11,435 --> 00:18:13,935
You'd think they were bloody married, huh?
434
00:18:13,945 --> 00:18:16,975
Oh, Bloody Mary. Oh, my
God, it's almost midnight.
435
00:18:16,985 --> 00:18:19,475
You fudged me, didn't you,
you little planned fudger.
436
00:18:19,485 --> 00:18:20,555
Now I'm going to have to just use
437
00:18:20,885 --> 00:18:22,215
whatever stinking mirror is closest.
438
00:18:22,225 --> 00:18:24,365
Ah. Come on.
439
00:18:26,435 --> 00:18:28,535
Bloody Mary, Bloody Mary, Bloody Mary.
440
00:18:28,875 --> 00:18:30,095
Kevin?
441
00:18:30,105 --> 00:18:31,295
- Hey.
- Hi.
442
00:18:31,305 --> 00:18:33,275
- Hi.
- Are we in a porta potty?
443
00:18:33,285 --> 00:18:35,445
Yeah, I know. I wanted to
do something more romantic
444
00:18:35,455 --> 00:18:38,185
and find the mirror from the
orphanage where we first met.
445
00:18:38,195 --> 00:18:40,085
Uh, but I didn't have any time.
446
00:18:40,095 --> 00:18:41,355
And I've been thinking a lot
447
00:18:41,365 --> 00:18:43,025
about the babysitter "condrumdrum."
448
00:18:43,035 --> 00:18:45,165
And I think Roofie was right.
449
00:18:45,175 --> 00:18:46,545
We beat this thing. We
can finally be together.
450
00:18:46,875 --> 00:18:48,205
Like bf and gf.
451
00:18:48,215 --> 00:18:50,105
Uh, what?
452
00:18:50,115 --> 00:18:51,575
Well, you know, I haven't
given a ton of thought
453
00:18:51,585 --> 00:18:55,515
to how the physical, uh,
intimate stuff would work.
454
00:18:55,525 --> 00:18:57,285
Okay, Kevin. That's enough.
455
00:18:57,295 --> 00:18:59,925
Um, we can't be together.
456
00:18:59,935 --> 00:19:02,135
We can't... what... what do you mean?
457
00:19:02,145 --> 00:19:03,335
Why?
458
00:19:03,345 --> 00:19:04,475
(Exhaling)
459
00:19:04,815 --> 00:19:09,445
I always saw you as like a son.
460
00:19:09,455 --> 00:19:12,255
Oh, my God.
461
00:19:12,265 --> 00:19:15,255
Oh, my God. I'm an idiot.
462
00:19:15,265 --> 00:19:17,435
No, you're not. The thing is,
463
00:19:17,445 --> 00:19:19,095
I always wanted to be a mother.
464
00:19:19,105 --> 00:19:20,615
I could just never have kids of my own.
465
00:19:20,945 --> 00:19:23,175
But then I met you,
466
00:19:23,185 --> 00:19:25,145
and you were this sweet little boy
467
00:19:25,155 --> 00:19:26,625
who not only clearly needed a mother,
468
00:19:26,955 --> 00:19:29,265
but could also see ghosts.
469
00:19:30,495 --> 00:19:32,025
I thought it was perfect.
470
00:19:32,035 --> 00:19:33,495
Well, the same, Mary, I...
471
00:19:33,505 --> 00:19:36,005
I bungled our entire relationship.
472
00:19:36,015 --> 00:19:38,585
You were never really good with
picking up the nonverbal cues.
473
00:19:38,915 --> 00:19:41,125
No, not really.
474
00:19:46,565 --> 00:19:48,935
You weren't trying to
kill Camomile, were you?
475
00:19:52,915 --> 00:19:54,645
A mother.
476
00:19:55,955 --> 00:19:57,275
All right, come on.
477
00:19:57,285 --> 00:19:59,085
I want to show you something. Come here.
478
00:19:59,095 --> 00:20:00,565
(Door closes)
479
00:20:01,935 --> 00:20:03,525
Uh, Mary?
480
00:20:03,535 --> 00:20:06,065
This is Amber. Amber, this is Mary.
481
00:20:06,075 --> 00:20:07,295
Hi.
482
00:20:07,305 --> 00:20:09,035
Oh, my.
483
00:20:09,045 --> 00:20:11,175
That doesn't look very uninfected.
484
00:20:11,185 --> 00:20:13,385
Can I take a look?
485
00:20:16,065 --> 00:20:18,565
I think I can help you.
486
00:20:18,905 --> 00:20:20,365
What do you say, Kevin?
487
00:20:20,375 --> 00:20:21,635
Would that be all right?
488
00:20:21,975 --> 00:20:23,235
Yeah.
489
00:20:23,245 --> 00:20:25,075
(Laughs)
490
00:20:30,495 --> 00:20:32,225
(Sighs)
491
00:20:37,005 --> 00:20:38,362
(Knock on door)
492
00:20:38,367 --> 00:20:40,045
Someone's in here.
493
00:20:45,525 --> 00:20:47,545
- You want a peanut butter cup?
- No.
494
00:20:47,555 --> 00:20:49,094
I'm going to stick with the corn.
495
00:20:49,095 --> 00:20:50,825
Trying to be at least a
little healthy, you know?
496
00:20:50,835 --> 00:20:52,425
Yeah, that's smart.
497
00:20:52,435 --> 00:20:54,252
How'd that thing work out
with you and Bloody Mary?
498
00:20:54,255 --> 00:20:55,465
Really, really badly.
499
00:20:55,475 --> 00:20:57,584
I completely misread that situation.
500
00:20:57,585 --> 00:20:58,831
That's okay, though. I'm going to go back
501
00:20:58,832 --> 00:21:00,275
to obsessing over Camomile White.
502
00:21:00,285 --> 00:21:02,709
It is one good decision
with you after another.
503
00:21:02,710 --> 00:21:04,524
Yeah, man. You know, and I base my decision
504
00:21:04,525 --> 00:21:05,885
on the fact that Camomile White exists
505
00:21:05,895 --> 00:21:07,095
for more than one day out of the year.
506
00:21:07,105 --> 00:21:08,995
So it increases my odds.
507
00:21:09,005 --> 00:21:12,165
Right. Let's... let's... let's hope so.
508
00:21:12,175 --> 00:21:14,245
Yeah. Optimism.
509
00:21:14,585 --> 00:21:16,115
Roofie: You know those
are weed candy corns.
510
00:21:16,125 --> 00:21:17,785
Kevin: These are weed candy corns?
511
00:21:17,795 --> 00:21:19,215
(Kevin laughs)
512
00:21:19,225 --> 00:21:20,925
Roofie: Yeah, you're gonna be high.
513
00:21:20,935 --> 00:21:23,774
(Mysterious theme playing)
514
00:21:23,775 --> 00:21:33,775
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515
00:21:33,825 --> 00:21:38,375
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516
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