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1
00:00:02,620 --> 00:00:05,000
[thunder and lightning]
2
00:00:05,000 --> 00:00:17,689
[lightning]
3
00:00:17,689 --> 00:00:24,724
[electronic music]
4
00:00:24,724 --> 00:00:27,413
That is the show, I'd like to
thank my guest Roger Griffith
of Cal Tec,
5
00:00:27,413 --> 00:00:30,137
fashion designer and my
new BFF, Deven Crane.
6
00:00:30,137 --> 00:00:33,206
And of course the always
loquacious, Brian Eno.
7
00:00:33,206 --> 00:00:37,793
And now, unfortunately,
8
00:00:37,793 --> 00:00:40,827
This.
[audience laughs]
9
00:00:40,827 --> 00:00:44,586
Yesterday, I suffered
10
00:00:44,586 --> 00:00:48,689
from what some are calling,
an on air meltdown.
11
00:00:48,689 --> 00:00:51,620
[audience laughter]
12
00:00:51,620 --> 00:00:53,827
The powers that be are convinced
that I
13
00:00:53,827 --> 00:00:56,965
said some things,
and did some things
that I shouldn't have done.
14
00:00:56,965 --> 00:01:04,827
And those powers, including
my wife and producer
of this show, Claire,
15
00:01:04,827 --> 00:01:08,103
have uh made it clear that
I need to publicly apologize..
16
00:01:08,103 --> 00:01:09,448
[audience laughs]
17
00:01:09,448 --> 00:01:11,448
Now.
18
00:01:11,448 --> 00:01:14,655
And if I do then,
I get to keep my show.
19
00:01:14,655 --> 00:01:18,551
[giggles]
20
00:01:18,551 --> 00:01:22,517
Here's the thing, I could
apologize all day long,
21
00:01:22,517 --> 00:01:26,172
but that is not going
to get my show back,
22
00:01:26,172 --> 00:01:31,379
because the truth is, it
hasn't been my show for
quite some time.
23
00:01:31,379 --> 00:01:36,034
so I'm not going to apologize.
Not going to do it.
24
00:01:36,034 --> 00:01:38,551
I'm going to leave.
25
00:01:38,551 --> 00:01:42,517
[audience laughs]
You just watched my last show.
26
00:01:42,517 --> 00:01:46,206
I know, I want to thank
all of you for taking
27
00:01:46,206 --> 00:01:50,103
this journey with me
for all these years.
28
00:01:50,103 --> 00:01:56,931
and I know, that our paths
will cross again.
29
00:01:56,931 --> 00:01:58,793
So for the last time,
I'm Dick Romans
30
00:01:58,793 --> 00:02:02,655
from somewhere in Los Angeles,
this has been
31
00:02:02,655 --> 00:02:14,931
And, Or None of the Above.
32
00:02:14,931 --> 00:02:19,275
[crickets]
33
00:02:19,275 --> 00:02:22,655
Ok, hiatus is over,
enough is enough.
34
00:02:22,655 --> 00:02:25,000
Time to get back to the..
in the swing,
35
00:02:25,000 --> 00:02:28,000
time to get to the old
36
00:02:28,000 --> 00:02:33,413
Dick Roman's magic,
here we go.
37
00:02:33,413 --> 00:02:38,896
[clears throat]
today is April...
38
00:02:38,896 --> 00:02:44,241
[crickets]
39
00:02:44,241 --> 00:02:48,344
Doesn't matter.
40
00:02:48,344 --> 00:02:54,172
It's all the same day anyway.
41
00:02:54,172 --> 00:02:57,379
Today on the show we have
a very special guest.
42
00:02:57,379 --> 00:03:02,241
So happy that he is here with
us today.
43
00:03:02,241 --> 00:03:05,344
Dick Romans, world class
fuck up.
44
00:03:05,344 --> 00:03:10,517
and his dog. And later in the
show...
45
00:03:10,517 --> 00:03:14,896
we'll have uh Dick Romans
pop by to...
46
00:03:14,896 --> 00:03:18,172
set himself on fire.
47
00:03:18,172 --> 00:03:24,655
That should be fun.
48
00:03:24,655 --> 00:03:26,793
Alright.
49
00:03:26,793 --> 00:03:30,413
It's your turn to be Dick Romans,
go ahead.
50
00:03:30,413 --> 00:03:49,689
It's easier than it looks.
51
00:03:49,689 --> 00:03:56,241
[upbeat music]
52
00:03:56,241 --> 00:03:57,551
♪ One, two, three four
53
00:03:57,551 --> 00:04:13,931
[banjo music]
54
00:04:13,931 --> 00:04:18,620
♪ I'm not afraid
of nothing ♪
55
00:04:18,620 --> 00:04:23,758
- Seriously?
56
00:04:23,758 --> 00:04:24,931
♪ I'm winning
57
00:04:24,931 --> 00:04:27,379
in my way ♪
58
00:04:27,379 --> 00:04:31,034
- Hurry up.
[grunts]
59
00:04:31,034 --> 00:04:33,689
♪ No more waiting on
60
00:04:33,689 --> 00:04:37,586
tomorrow ♪
61
00:04:37,586 --> 00:04:40,137
- Come on now.
62
00:04:40,137 --> 00:04:43,448
♪ This dog's gonna have
his day ♪
63
00:04:43,448 --> 00:04:48,379
- Let's go.
64
00:04:48,379 --> 00:04:52,586
♪ And danger don't discourage
65
00:04:52,586 --> 00:04:57,586
[crash]
66
00:04:57,586 --> 00:04:59,344
[footsteps]
67
00:04:59,344 --> 00:05:04,310
Claire?
68
00:05:04,310 --> 00:05:08,137
Why is the front door locked?
69
00:05:08,137 --> 00:05:43,137
What the hell, Claire?
70
00:05:43,137 --> 00:05:48,862
[glass clinks]
71
00:05:48,862 --> 00:05:56,551
[liquid pouring]
72
00:05:56,551 --> 00:06:24,482
[glass clinks]
73
00:06:24,482 --> 00:06:29,827
That's better.
74
00:06:29,827 --> 00:06:32,827
- [Dick] This is not a typical divorce, pNeil ok, it's not about
75
00:06:32,827 --> 00:06:33,758
the house, car, and
the dog.
76
00:06:33,758 --> 00:06:36,172
- [Neil] Look, try and calm down.
Ok...
77
00:06:36,172 --> 00:06:38,206
I, I have everything.
I'm reviewing it.
78
00:06:38,206 --> 00:06:39,965
- My entire life is in
this envelope,
79
00:06:39,965 --> 00:06:42,793
ten years of creative
collaboration, and a production
company.
80
00:06:42,793 --> 00:06:45,172
And [blustering]
81
00:06:45,172 --> 00:06:47,034
- [Dick] Fucking everything!!
82
00:06:47,034 --> 00:06:49,172
- [Neil] I need you to think happy
thoughts, you have to think
83
00:06:49,172 --> 00:06:51,000
positive ok, everything is
going to be great.
84
00:06:51,000 --> 00:06:52,793
You have to take a big deep breath Ok?p
85
00:06:52,793 --> 00:06:54,103
- [Dick] I'm going to tell you
how to do it,
I'm going to tell you
86
00:06:54,103 --> 00:06:55,793
how to do your job.
87
00:06:55,793 --> 00:06:57,931
You go back to everybody,
and you say,
I talked to Dick,
88
00:06:57,931 --> 00:06:59,379
and Dick said I'm not signing
the papers that are
in the envelope.
89
00:06:59,379 --> 00:07:02,586
Under no circumstance.
Ever.
90
00:07:02,586 --> 00:07:04,724
- [Neil] Look I'll tell you
what.
91
00:07:04,724 --> 00:07:07,448
Go to one of them fruit and nut
places go get yourself Kombucha
tea.
92
00:07:07,448 --> 00:07:09,275
Kombucha.
93
00:07:09,275 --> 00:07:10,793
I'm going to send you
some wellness cream. Use it.
94
00:07:10,793 --> 00:07:12,482
- [Dick] I love you but that
doesn't make any,
95
00:07:12,482 --> 00:07:15,034
- I don't even..
that's the worst..
96
00:07:15,034 --> 00:07:17,034
- [Neil] Dickie look, I gotta
go to meet a couple
of douchebags,
97
00:07:17,034 --> 00:07:18,275
about some shit, okay?
I got to go.
98
00:07:18,275 --> 00:07:25,344
You got to go, yeah. Well...
[dial tone]
99
00:07:25,344 --> 00:07:28,551
[slow guitar music]
100
00:07:28,551 --> 00:07:32,517
Non canine issues that are
complex
101
00:07:32,517 --> 00:07:36,275
and um, yeah, so.
102
00:07:36,275 --> 00:07:38,551
I just wanted to tell you
that you're not...
103
00:07:38,551 --> 00:07:40,689
that I love you and
you're going to be fine.
104
00:07:40,689 --> 00:07:44,068
That we're going to be
alright together.
105
00:07:44,068 --> 00:07:47,827
We're going to sort it out.
106
00:07:47,827 --> 00:07:50,137
[sighs]
107
00:07:50,137 --> 00:07:59,344
[knocking]
108
00:07:59,344 --> 00:08:01,310
- [Lenny] Hi.
- [Dick] Hi, can I help you
with something?
109
00:08:01,310 --> 00:08:04,034
- [Lenny] Yeah, I'm here for
Claire.
110
00:08:04,034 --> 00:08:05,931
[Dick] Oh..
111
00:08:05,931 --> 00:08:10,103
Um..
[exhales]
112
00:08:10,103 --> 00:08:13,827
this is a, little awkward.
- [Lenny] Huh.
113
00:08:13,827 --> 00:08:15,931
[Dick] Um..
114
00:08:15,931 --> 00:08:20,000
Claire, unfortunately had
115
00:08:20,000 --> 00:08:23,655
a really bad accident
at the uh..
116
00:08:23,655 --> 00:08:24,862
airport.
117
00:08:24,862 --> 00:08:26,862
- [Lenny] Oh my god.
118
00:08:26,862 --> 00:08:29,586
- Well, we can cry for God
all we want, but
it's not going to bring
119
00:08:29,586 --> 00:08:32,344
Claire's face back.
120
00:08:32,344 --> 00:08:34,896
- [Lenny] What?
- [Dick] Claire's face was
sheared off..
121
00:08:34,896 --> 00:08:37,103
by an airplane
propeller.
122
00:08:37,103 --> 00:08:39,413
- [Lenny] What?
- [Dick] Claire, was actually
fooling around
123
00:08:39,413 --> 00:08:44,206
acting like a little, "Oh
everything's so fun
on an airplane!"
124
00:08:44,206 --> 00:08:45,241
On the airport tarmac."
125
00:08:45,241 --> 00:08:47,551
And then, whack!
126
00:08:47,551 --> 00:08:51,000
The thing just cut
her head in half.
127
00:08:51,000 --> 00:08:52,172
- [Lenny] Who are you?
128
00:08:52,172 --> 00:08:53,655
- [Dick] Who are you?
129
00:08:53,655 --> 00:08:54,896
- [Lenny] I'm the caterer.
130
00:08:54,896 --> 00:08:56,896
- [Dick] Oh it's nice to
meet you, the caterer.
131
00:08:56,896 --> 00:08:58,034
- [Lenny] Nice to meet you.
132
00:08:58,034 --> 00:08:59,206
- [Dick] Are you stepping in
for Lenny?
133
00:08:59,206 --> 00:09:01,413
- Yeah, no. I'm Lenny, I'm
Lenny Wright.
134
00:09:01,413 --> 00:09:04,965
Wright Caterers. I'm dropping
stuff off for the party.
135
00:09:04,965 --> 00:09:08,793
- Ooh, there's a party huh? Am
I invited, I love parties,
Lenny.
136
00:09:08,793 --> 00:09:10,827
[laughing]
- [Lenny] I mean I don't know.
137
00:09:10,827 --> 00:09:14,862
Are you not hosting
a party for 20 people?
138
00:09:14,862 --> 00:09:17,000
Anniversary party?
[Dick] What?
139
00:09:17,000 --> 00:09:29,000
- [Lenny] All week?
140
00:09:29,000 --> 00:09:30,551
[Dick] There's a party?
141
00:09:30,551 --> 00:09:32,655
- [Lenny] Yeah.
- [Dick] What's today?
142
00:09:32,655 --> 00:09:35,862
- [Lenny] Thursday.
143
00:09:35,862 --> 00:09:37,448
- [Dick] Fuck.
144
00:09:37,448 --> 00:09:39,793
- [Lenny] Looks like you got
your hands full but I got to...
145
00:09:39,793 --> 00:09:42,655
- [Dick] Yeah look, Lenny the caterer
in about 24 hours I
got a bunch of people
146
00:09:42,655 --> 00:09:44,724
descending on my home to
celebrate a ten yea anniversary
147
00:09:44,724 --> 00:09:46,413
that was never consummated
because my wife
148
00:09:46,413 --> 00:09:49,413
Claire, the ass face, decided
to divorce me
149
00:09:49,413 --> 00:09:51,517
this morning so please,
150
00:09:51,517 --> 00:09:53,517
if you'll excuse I'm trying
to stop an embarrassment
151
00:09:53,517 --> 00:09:55,448
of legendary proportions from
unfolding.
152
00:09:55,448 --> 00:09:56,758
Thank you.
153
00:09:56,758 --> 00:10:02,068
- [Lenny] Alright, well what do I
do about this?
154
00:10:02,068 --> 00:10:03,655
- [Dick] It's a lot of crap.
155
00:10:03,655 --> 00:10:06,586
- [Lenny] It's a lot of work.
- [Dick] The booze is ours?
156
00:10:06,586 --> 00:10:08,896
- [Lenny] Yep, it goes
in the bar.
157
00:10:08,896 --> 00:10:11,896
- [Dick] Huh, alright, well
you can take that inside.
I'll take the booze.
158
00:10:11,896 --> 00:10:13,965
- Ok.
- What's this?
159
00:10:13,965 --> 00:10:16,068
- [Lenny] That's my lasagna,
- Oh and what's in the...
160
00:10:16,068 --> 00:10:20,862
- Cheesecake.
- [Dick] Oh my god. Wow.
161
00:10:20,862 --> 00:10:26,068
Ok, time out. Cheesecake.
162
00:10:26,068 --> 00:10:30,413
Try the lasagna, and the booze.
163
00:10:30,413 --> 00:10:32,827
- What do you want me to do
with the rest of the stuff?
164
00:10:32,827 --> 00:10:38,241
- [Dick] I don't know. Lenny,
find some skinny kids, feed
them.
165
00:10:38,241 --> 00:10:40,310
[phone ringing]
- Hey Dickie, how are you
brother?
How are things up there?
166
00:10:40,310 --> 00:10:42,931
- [Dick] Not good, really
not good right now,
167
00:10:42,931 --> 00:10:44,827
man it's dire up here.
Ok.
168
00:10:44,827 --> 00:10:46,965
Claire left.
169
00:10:46,965 --> 00:10:49,000
- [Micky] Wait a minute. Left,
left?
170
00:10:49,000 --> 00:10:51,931
- She left. Divorce. And now I
got to cancel the week.
171
00:10:51,931 --> 00:10:53,620
- [Micky] The week, what was
the week?
172
00:10:53,620 --> 00:10:56,137
- [Dick] The week, it's the
anniversary week, is this week,
173
00:10:56,137 --> 00:10:57,551
you were coming up here right?
174
00:10:57,551 --> 00:10:59,551
- [Micky] Probably?
175
00:10:59,551 --> 00:11:02,448
- [Dick] Micky, really?
you know what?
It doesn't matter.
176
00:11:02,448 --> 00:11:03,896
There's events planned on every
day.
177
00:11:03,896 --> 00:11:05,586
There's a bunch of people
coming up here right now.
178
00:11:05,586 --> 00:11:07,689
- [Micky] Hold on second, I'm
here for you.
179
00:11:07,689 --> 00:11:09,793
What can I do for you, little
brother?
180
00:11:09,793 --> 00:11:12,206
- [Dick] I don't know, I don't
want you to go
181
00:11:12,206 --> 00:11:13,586
out of your way
to do anything.
182
00:11:13,586 --> 00:11:16,724
I don't know, still come up
anyway.
183
00:11:16,724 --> 00:11:18,689
- [Micky] Solo [mumbling]
- [Dick] Some brother time?
I don't know....
184
00:11:18,689 --> 00:11:21,137
- [Micky] Yup! Yes! Good!
- [Dick] Yeah?
185
00:11:21,137 --> 00:11:23,551
- [Micky] What?! No.
- [Woman] Wait?
186
00:11:23,551 --> 00:11:25,724
- [Micky] Not you. I can't
Dick.
187
00:11:25,724 --> 00:11:27,551
This is just not a good time.
188
00:11:27,551 --> 00:11:30,000
Hey, you know what?
I got a better idea,
189
00:11:30,000 --> 00:11:31,655
why don't you come down
and see me, get a little L.A.
time.
190
00:11:31,655 --> 00:11:34,137
We'll catch up, get a little
hummus.
191
00:11:34,137 --> 00:11:36,068
Pick up a bunch of uppers
and go paint balling?
192
00:11:36,068 --> 00:11:38,448
[aside] Why are you laughing at that? p[Woman] That sounds awesome.
193
00:11:38,448 --> 00:11:40,758
- [Micky] People paint ball.
194
00:11:40,758 --> 00:11:42,793
- [Dick] I'm not in that state
of mind right now.
195
00:11:42,793 --> 00:11:44,931
Alright, we'll listen man
you sound good,
196
00:11:44,931 --> 00:11:47,344
and really glad you called, and
give Claire my love.
197
00:11:47,344 --> 00:11:51,793
Yeah, you too, and like I said...
[dial tone] Did you hang up?
198
00:11:51,793 --> 00:11:56,413
Son of a bitch.
199
00:11:56,413 --> 00:11:59,206
Hi, Patty, John, I'm sorry
I have to do this right now.
200
00:11:59,206 --> 00:12:01,275
I'm calling to...
I got to cancel the week.
201
00:12:01,275 --> 00:12:05,724
Thomas, Jessie, it's Dick,
I got to talk to you,
202
00:12:05,724 --> 00:12:06,931
The week.
203
00:12:06,931 --> 00:12:08,551
We're concealing the week.
204
00:12:08,551 --> 00:12:09,896
I'm trying to send everybody
emails, and stuff
205
00:12:09,896 --> 00:12:12,379
Claire, just fucking bailed on
me.
206
00:12:12,379 --> 00:12:13,862
Everybody is coming in 24 hrs
207
00:12:13,862 --> 00:12:15,896
I'm just trying to get
everybody to stay goddamn home
208
00:12:15,896 --> 00:12:19,000
Weren't you invited?
209
00:12:19,000 --> 00:12:23,448
It's life, we'll figure it
out one way or the other,
210
00:12:23,448 --> 00:12:24,448
or we won't.
211
00:12:24,448 --> 00:12:26,448
Ah, this is so shitty dude.
212
00:12:26,448 --> 00:12:28,275
I can't control everything in
the universe.
213
00:12:28,275 --> 00:12:31,000
People think I can, but I
can't.
214
00:12:31,000 --> 00:12:33,896
If you hear from Claire. Tell
her that
215
00:12:33,896 --> 00:12:36,206
I've been thinking about her a
lot.
216
00:12:36,206 --> 00:12:38,344
And I hate her guts.
217
00:12:38,344 --> 00:12:40,689
Could you tell her that her
father died?
218
00:12:40,689 --> 00:12:43,379
Just tell her that some people
home invaded the house.
219
00:12:43,379 --> 00:12:45,034
And that I was killed.
220
00:12:45,034 --> 00:12:48,965
Bye bye.
221
00:12:48,965 --> 00:12:53,655
[country music]
222
00:12:53,655 --> 00:12:56,827
Want a taste?
223
00:12:56,827 --> 00:12:58,517
You know what?
224
00:12:58,517 --> 00:13:01,310
This is kind of an opportunity.
225
00:13:01,310 --> 00:13:04,379
We could do stuff that we could
never do before.
226
00:13:04,379 --> 00:13:06,068
You want to sleep in the bed?
227
00:13:06,068 --> 00:13:12,310
Done.
I can wear my hat.
228
00:13:12,310 --> 00:13:14,137
I could wear my hat.
229
00:13:14,137 --> 00:13:20,103
Ok, what do you think?
230
00:13:20,103 --> 00:13:23,103
I know what we can do!
231
00:13:23,103 --> 00:13:25,620
Let's break some of Mommy's
shit.
232
00:13:25,620 --> 00:13:28,655
[guitar music]
233
00:13:28,655 --> 00:13:31,482
[high pitched voice]
Don't you just love
this color Dick?
234
00:13:31,482 --> 00:13:33,931
You should paint your office
that color!
235
00:13:33,931 --> 00:13:39,758
Let's buy only
wine glasses since
we live in the wine country!
236
00:13:39,758 --> 00:13:42,931
♪ Well it's time to go!
Yeah it's time to go! ♪
237
00:13:42,931 --> 00:13:44,827
- It's a bunt!
238
00:13:44,827 --> 00:13:47,206
♪ Kisses that last all through
239
00:13:47,206 --> 00:13:52,862
the night, round and round
like a satellite ♪
240
00:13:52,862 --> 00:13:57,655
♪ Over stocked clown car
that's ready to go ♪
241
00:13:57,655 --> 00:14:00,517
[growling]
♪ When it's time to go
242
00:14:00,517 --> 00:14:02,724
♪ Yeah it's time to go
243
00:14:02,724 --> 00:14:06,172
Give me the dress!
244
00:14:06,172 --> 00:14:10,310
Don't waste all the toothpaste
Dick!
245
00:14:10,310 --> 00:14:13,896
You're using too much!
246
00:14:13,896 --> 00:14:18,137
All you need is a pea sized
amount.
247
00:14:18,137 --> 00:14:22,000
Just a tiny, little pea size.
248
00:14:22,000 --> 00:14:26,793
Then you can
249
00:14:26,793 --> 00:14:30,896
I don't care about your
rules about toothpaste!
250
00:14:30,896 --> 00:14:34,931
I don't care about toothpaste
rules, they don't apply
to me anymore.
251
00:14:34,931 --> 00:14:37,896
So this is how much toothpaste
I use.
252
00:14:37,896 --> 00:14:39,862
This is what I like to use.
253
00:14:39,862 --> 00:14:43,862
This is the amount that
is satisfying for me, right
here.
254
00:14:43,862 --> 00:14:45,344
This is it.
255
00:14:45,344 --> 00:14:48,724
[high pitch voice] Dick, I want a divorce!
256
00:14:48,724 --> 00:14:52,068
♪ Red hot love burning in my
veins,
257
00:14:52,068 --> 00:14:55,137
now memories are the scant
remains ♪
258
00:14:55,137 --> 00:14:59,172
♪ I walked a million miles just
to wake up with the after glow.
259
00:14:59,172 --> 00:15:04,586
Don't shoot arrows at nothing
Dick!
260
00:15:04,586 --> 00:15:06,896
♪ Well it's time to go, yeah
it's time to go! ♪
261
00:15:06,896 --> 00:15:11,275
[crash]
262
00:15:11,275 --> 00:15:28,000
[upbeat guitar music]
263
00:15:28,000 --> 00:15:31,689
I'm not an orthopedist Dick,
but the imaging was negative
264
00:15:31,689 --> 00:15:36,758
so my guess is you probably
have some low grade patella
265
00:15:36,758 --> 00:15:39,758
tendon damage and, or
medial meniscus bruising
266
00:15:39,758 --> 00:15:43,103
either way, it ain't
very serious, and it ain't
life threatening.
267
00:15:43,103 --> 00:15:48,034
Alright, let's see now,
I got a.. goddammit.
268
00:15:48,034 --> 00:15:49,896
- [Dick] What are you looking
for?
269
00:15:49,896 --> 00:15:51,689
- Oh, bear with me. Patty?
270
00:15:51,689 --> 00:15:56,551
Oh what the hell!
Nevermind Patty, found it!
271
00:15:56,551 --> 00:15:58,896
Haha, look at that there.
[groans]
272
00:15:58,896 --> 00:16:01,689
Now three very important
steps when you are
putting this brace on.
273
00:16:01,689 --> 00:16:07,448
One, always apply the brace
from the ankle to the thigh
like this.
274
00:16:07,448 --> 00:16:09,724
Step two. Always make sure
the knee setting is
275
00:16:09,724 --> 00:16:11,586
set at minus two.
276
00:16:11,586 --> 00:16:14,655
And three, and this is
the most important step of all.
277
00:16:14,655 --> 00:16:20,172
After you've completed
steps one and two,
278
00:16:20,172 --> 00:16:23,034
get a small tube of salve.
You squeeze about a
279
00:16:23,034 --> 00:16:24,620
dime sized amount
280
00:16:24,620 --> 00:16:26,413
into the palm of your hand
and rub that vigorously
281
00:16:26,413 --> 00:16:30,137
into your vagina.
[giggling]
282
00:16:30,137 --> 00:16:32,241
- [Dick] Can I go now?
283
00:16:32,241 --> 00:16:34,034
- Does that mean I can back to
my bird watching?
284
00:16:34,034 --> 00:16:38,034
- [Dick] Sure.
- [Doctor] Scram.
285
00:16:38,034 --> 00:16:46,551
[car engine]
286
00:16:46,551 --> 00:16:50,620
[rattling]
287
00:16:50,620 --> 00:16:58,931
[clattering]
288
00:16:58,931 --> 00:17:11,793
[groans]
289
00:17:11,793 --> 00:17:15,689
Minor set back.
290
00:17:15,689 --> 00:17:19,931
Not a big deal,
we'll get 'em tomorrow
291
00:17:19,931 --> 00:17:24,103
we'll take over the world.
292
00:17:24,103 --> 00:17:45,034
[upbeat guitar music]
293
00:17:45,034 --> 00:17:49,103
♪ Don't do it,
don't do it again
294
00:17:49,103 --> 00:17:54,827
to your self my friend,
oh friend ♪
295
00:17:54,827 --> 00:17:59,068
♪ You know
296
00:17:59,068 --> 00:18:05,931
I get hurt in the end. ♪
297
00:18:05,931 --> 00:18:10,137
♪ Come on, come on
come home
298
00:18:10,137 --> 00:18:14,586
you know I get so alone.
Alone ♪
299
00:18:14,586 --> 00:18:19,724
Does it show? ♪
300
00:18:19,724 --> 00:18:29,689
♪ I need an anecdote
301
00:18:29,689 --> 00:18:34,689
♪ I get so alone
302
00:18:34,689 --> 00:18:38,413
[liquid pouring]
303
00:18:38,413 --> 00:18:39,724
[grunt]
304
00:18:39,724 --> 00:18:45,827
Yeah! Yeah! That's sweet!
305
00:18:45,827 --> 00:18:52,724
[beeping]
306
00:18:52,724 --> 00:18:54,724
[beeping]
No, no, no.
307
00:18:54,724 --> 00:18:56,413
No, we're all filled up on the
douche bag department.
308
00:18:56,413 --> 00:19:00,137
- [Thomas] Whoo! Part - tay!
309
00:19:00,137 --> 00:19:03,517
- [Dick] Thomas, what, hey!
310
00:19:03,517 --> 00:19:05,448
- My god, what happened to your
leg?
311
00:19:05,448 --> 00:19:06,827
- What the hell's going on buddy?
[Dick] I was just chopping
312
00:19:06,827 --> 00:19:08,172
some wood and I,
I fell down.
313
00:19:08,172 --> 00:19:10,448
- In your robe?
314
00:19:10,448 --> 00:19:12,448
- You really shouldn't be
walking around with an axe,
Dick.
315
00:19:12,448 --> 00:19:13,689
If I could, just real quick..
[Tom] Bud, where are your
pants?
316
00:19:13,689 --> 00:19:15,793
- [Dick] You're not supposed
to be here.
317
00:19:15,793 --> 00:19:17,413
- Why?
- [Tom] Yeah, missed the
party?
318
00:19:17,413 --> 00:19:21,620
- No, see the thing, Tommy,
the party's canceled, Claire..
319
00:19:21,620 --> 00:19:25,620
wants a divorce.
- Oh god.
- What?
320
00:19:25,620 --> 00:19:27,793
- [Dick] I left you guys a
message.
321
00:19:27,793 --> 00:19:29,620
I sent you an email, I
explained the whole thing in an
email.
322
00:19:29,620 --> 00:19:32,068
- No, Dick I changed the email
to a different email.
323
00:19:32,068 --> 00:19:35,000
- I left a message on the phone.
- A home phone?
- [Dick] Maybe
324
00:19:35,000 --> 00:19:37,827
- I think so.
- No Dick, nobody checks the
home phone,
325
00:19:37,827 --> 00:19:40,241
you gotta call my cell.
326
00:19:40,241 --> 00:19:42,758
- Here's what we're going to
do, you can drop the farm
implement, and we'll put some
327
00:19:42,758 --> 00:19:45,379
trousers on you. And I'll make a meal.pWe'll talk about this.
328
00:19:45,379 --> 00:19:47,344
- [Dick] No, no, no...
329
00:19:47,344 --> 00:19:49,206
- [Tom] We're doing something
here.
330
00:19:49,206 --> 00:19:51,275
- [Dick] No, no you don't
have to do it.
331
00:19:51,275 --> 00:19:55,896
- You guys are so alive together,
so electric.
- Oh yeah we were electric
alright.
332
00:19:55,896 --> 00:19:59,137
But then the wires got really
old and we burnt our fucking
house down.
333
00:19:59,137 --> 00:20:04,689
- God, your wires aren't old,
nobodies house has burned down.
334
00:20:04,689 --> 00:20:06,448
- [Dick] That's really god
damned good.
335
00:20:06,448 --> 00:20:09,000
- [Tom] No need to bring Him
into it.
336
00:20:09,000 --> 00:20:13,586
You can make this recipe right
here in the comfort of your
home.
337
00:20:13,586 --> 00:20:17,310
Using my latest endeavor.
- Ahhh
338
00:20:17,310 --> 00:20:19,551
Look at that handsome devil,
huh, on the cover
339
00:20:19,551 --> 00:20:23,310
of another book. And it's an
Atheist cook book.
340
00:20:23,310 --> 00:20:25,517
Yes and it is personalized to
you.
341
00:20:25,517 --> 00:20:29,827
- [Dick] That's really sweet
buddy. Thank you.
342
00:20:29,827 --> 00:20:31,344
- [Tom] Sure.
343
00:20:31,344 --> 00:20:32,724
- [Dick] Should I burnt it now,
or wait
344
00:20:32,724 --> 00:20:38,310
till you guys leave. "Claire"
345
00:20:38,310 --> 00:20:41,413
- [Tom] I'm an asshole.
- I like the peace, love, and
pepper part.
346
00:20:41,413 --> 00:20:44,862
Tomorrow, good question, I was
thinking I found these
347
00:20:44,862 --> 00:20:51,551
cute purple dinner napkins, and
these little Hi-C juice boxes
348
00:20:51,551 --> 00:20:53,931
and like a shit load of
cyanide, and what I thought
I'd do is
349
00:20:53,931 --> 00:20:58,275
off myself with the dog and
catch a little comet tail out
to a different world
350
00:20:58,275 --> 00:21:02,413
a better place, it's a heaven's
gate...
351
00:21:02,413 --> 00:21:04,344
I know it's kind of little bit
dated but...
352
00:21:04,344 --> 00:21:07,482
- [Jessie] I don't really think
suicide jokes are funny.
353
00:21:07,482 --> 00:21:09,689
Well, we're going to stay here
until you're back on your feet.
354
00:21:09,689 --> 00:21:12,862
- [Dick] No.
- [Tom] Yes.
- [Dick] I am fine.
355
00:21:12,862 --> 00:21:17,965
- She's right.
- [Dick] I'm fine
In fact, I have a plan
356
00:21:17,965 --> 00:21:24,620
A real non suicide plan.
357
00:21:24,620 --> 00:21:26,896
I'm going to go and
358
00:21:26,896 --> 00:21:30,758
do all the things this week
that we had planned
359
00:21:30,758 --> 00:21:32,551
for the anniversary celebration
360
00:21:32,551 --> 00:21:35,172
I'm going to go and do those
things to show Claire
361
00:21:35,172 --> 00:21:39,137
- [Jessie] To show her what?
362
00:21:39,137 --> 00:21:42,655
- [Dick] I'm ok.
363
00:21:42,655 --> 00:21:49,000
A vision quest, you know, I'm
bucia, a little code du sue.
364
00:21:49,000 --> 00:21:52,103
Those crazy fucking Indians
would dig a hole, all the way
out
365
00:21:52,103 --> 00:21:57,379
in the tribe, vision quest, in
the pit, you know?
366
00:21:57,379 --> 00:22:01,034
- Ok, didn't these guys have
367
00:22:01,034 --> 00:22:04,172
medicine man to guide them?
- Not always.
- [Tom] Here we are.
368
00:22:04,172 --> 00:22:07,965
We could be your medicine men.
- Well, I'd be your medicine
woman.
369
00:22:07,965 --> 00:22:13,931
- I was really focusing on the
part where I was in the hole
alone.
370
00:22:13,931 --> 00:22:16,379
- Dick, we're going to stay
here, we're going to do this
with you. It's fate.
371
00:22:16,379 --> 00:22:18,068
- [Tom] Well let's not go
crazy.
372
00:22:18,068 --> 00:22:20,448
- What is on the schedule for
tomorrow?
373
00:22:20,448 --> 00:22:25,137
- I'm sure it's some shit.
374
00:22:25,137 --> 00:22:33,862
[thoughtful music]
375
00:22:33,862 --> 00:22:49,034
- Ok, time to wake up.
376
00:22:49,034 --> 00:22:52,793
♪ And she's everything
377
00:22:52,793 --> 00:22:59,379
I wanted to forget ♪
378
00:22:59,379 --> 00:23:02,275
Flashing eyelashes ♪
379
00:23:02,275 --> 00:23:04,344
- [Tom] Well there's your
problem right there,
380
00:23:04,344 --> 00:23:05,413
you're looking for meaning at
the end
381
00:23:05,413 --> 00:23:08,103
and not in the whole of it.
382
00:23:08,103 --> 00:23:10,862
Ask yourself, do you really
need to find a happy ending in
all this?
383
00:23:10,862 --> 00:23:12,758
Is that really going to help?
384
00:23:12,758 --> 00:23:17,172
- [Dick] Ah Tommy, when did you
become such an asshole?
385
00:23:17,172 --> 00:23:19,965
Jesus Christ.
386
00:23:19,965 --> 00:23:26,655
Claire was here. And now she's
not.
387
00:23:26,655 --> 00:23:31,965
Don't look for meaning where
there isn't any.
388
00:23:31,965 --> 00:23:36,103
♪ And it's good just to be bad
389
00:23:36,103 --> 00:23:44,275
Anything but being sad ♪
390
00:23:44,275 --> 00:23:46,413
Action notes ♪
391
00:23:46,413 --> 00:23:53,000
[chattering]
392
00:23:53,000 --> 00:23:57,103
[giggling]
I think I was fucking around.
393
00:23:57,103 --> 00:24:38,827
[laughing]
It's just funny.
394
00:24:38,827 --> 00:24:43,034
[sighs]
395
00:24:43,034 --> 00:24:52,379
- [Jessie] I've always loved
you.
396
00:24:52,379 --> 00:24:58,241
It's not like its unmanageable,
hmmm?
Right?
397
00:24:58,241 --> 00:25:06,655
I love my husband,
I love my family
398
00:25:06,655 --> 00:25:14,931
[kissing]
399
00:25:14,931 --> 00:25:23,310
- [Dick] Jessie, no I can't
400
00:25:23,310 --> 00:25:39,965
[sigh]
401
00:25:39,965 --> 00:25:52,034
[sighing]
402
00:25:52,034 --> 00:25:53,965
- [Tom] Do not be a bitch to me!
403
00:25:53,965 --> 00:25:56,965
- [Jessie] Did we finally find
a crack in your impervious
philosophy of
404
00:25:56,965 --> 00:25:59,827
random, fucking
meaninglessness.
405
00:25:59,827 --> 00:26:01,310
- [Tom]I have been more than
tolerant of your little
406
00:26:01,310 --> 00:26:03,413
sexual awakening glory hole
thing.
407
00:26:03,413 --> 00:26:05,448
- [Jessie] We talked about
this.
408
00:26:05,448 --> 00:26:08,758
- We sure as hell never talked
about Dick!
409
00:26:08,758 --> 00:26:10,551
- [Dick] Wait, what?
410
00:26:10,551 --> 00:26:12,827
- I'm not going to do this, I'm
not going to let you rewrite
this,
411
00:26:12,827 --> 00:26:14,413
you don't get to be mad.
412
00:26:14,413 --> 00:26:17,000
- Jess, can I just say, he gets
to be a little mad.
413
00:26:17,000 --> 00:26:18,793
- [Tom and Jessie] shut up
Dick!
414
00:26:18,793 --> 00:26:20,448
- [Dick] Ok, I'm understand
that people are really pissed
off right now,
415
00:26:20,448 --> 00:26:24,965
and I get it. All I'm trying
to, I just think that maybe
416
00:26:24,965 --> 00:26:28,896
we can get through this,
without it being such a big
deal.
417
00:26:28,896 --> 00:26:33,034
- [Tom] Oh so your grand opus
of self destruction
418
00:26:33,034 --> 00:26:35,827
isn't over yet?
419
00:26:35,827 --> 00:26:38,275
You fucked up your own marriage
so you figured hey why not take
ours down with you?
420
00:26:38,275 --> 00:26:40,034
You little piece of shit.
421
00:26:40,034 --> 00:26:42,448
- No Tom, all I'm saying is
that
422
00:26:42,448 --> 00:26:46,551
yeah, okay, my penis was inside
your wife.
423
00:26:46,551 --> 00:26:48,241
[Jessie groans]
424
00:26:48,241 --> 00:26:51,137
so hold, on I'm not finished.
But now my penis is not
425
00:26:51,137 --> 00:26:53,448
inside of your wife.
426
00:26:53,448 --> 00:26:56,724
[Jessie groans]
What I'm suggesting is..
427
00:26:56,724 --> 00:26:59,862
we don't try to find meaning
428
00:26:59,862 --> 00:27:02,034
when there isn't any.
429
00:27:02,034 --> 00:27:05,724
Right?
430
00:27:05,724 --> 00:27:10,241
[whack]
[groaning]
- [Jessie] Wow, Thomas.
431
00:27:10,241 --> 00:27:13,620
- You know what, that's fair.
That's a fair move.
432
00:27:13,620 --> 00:27:14,931
[Jessie] Oh my god!
433
00:27:14,931 --> 00:27:21,206
Oh he hit me right at the top of the head.
[groaning]
434
00:27:21,206 --> 00:27:27,344
- [Tom] You know what really
pisses me off.
435
00:27:27,344 --> 00:27:33,103
You orchestrated this whole
thing Jess.
436
00:27:33,103 --> 00:27:35,137
You weren't worried about Dick.
437
00:27:35,137 --> 00:27:40,862
You didn't want to take care of
him. You wanted to bone him.
438
00:27:40,862 --> 00:27:42,758
- [Jessie] Oh really, well
who's making up stories now,
Thomas?
439
00:27:42,758 --> 00:27:44,931
- You had sexual intercourse
with the man on the porch.
440
00:27:44,931 --> 00:27:47,517
- [Jessie] Yes that has been
very clearly established but
441
00:27:47,517 --> 00:27:52,620
I didn't plan it, I didn't
orchestrate Claire leaving Dick
442
00:27:52,620 --> 00:27:54,448
and I certainly didn't cancel
the party.
443
00:27:54,448 --> 00:27:56,034
And anyway when we got the
email
444
00:27:56,034 --> 00:28:00,862
you were the one who said we
should come up.
445
00:28:00,862 --> 00:28:03,068
- [Dick] Wait. What?
446
00:28:03,068 --> 00:28:07,000
- [Jessie] Yes Dick, we got the
email.
447
00:28:07,000 --> 00:28:08,862
- Then what the hell are you
doing here?
448
00:28:08,862 --> 00:28:12,034
- [Jessie] We thought you
should be around friends and we
knew
449
00:28:12,034 --> 00:28:14,206
you wouldn't let us if we told
you.
450
00:28:14,206 --> 00:28:16,965
But that was his idea. Do you
remember that Thomas?
451
00:28:16,965 --> 00:28:20,586
Huh? We've already booked the
baby sitter, why don't we just
go up?
452
00:28:20,586 --> 00:28:24,068
We'll drink a bunch of wine,
we'll hang out with Dick we'll
relax.
453
00:28:24,068 --> 00:28:27,241
Fucking revisionist.
454
00:28:27,241 --> 00:28:33,034
You know, I'm not going to
apologize for anything. God.
455
00:28:33,034 --> 00:28:36,413
I for twelve years had planned
nothing but focused on this
family.
456
00:28:36,413 --> 00:28:38,689
[clattering]
457
00:28:38,689 --> 00:28:41,482
I have managed my career.
458
00:28:41,482 --> 00:28:46,724
three children, your career...
- [Dick] Okay, time to go!
459
00:28:46,724 --> 00:28:48,793
- What?
- [Dick] I love you but you're
both
460
00:28:48,793 --> 00:28:51,034
fucking crazy and I need you
out of my house.
461
00:28:51,034 --> 00:28:53,793
- Come on Dick!
462
00:28:53,793 --> 00:28:55,206
- No come on Dick, time to go.
- [Jessie] We're working
through
something here,
463
00:28:55,206 --> 00:28:59,793
it's really important and kind
of involves you.
464
00:28:59,793 --> 00:29:01,793
- No, doesn't involve me at
all. Really doesn't.
465
00:29:01,793 --> 00:29:03,793
- [Tom] Ok brother, it's probably
2:30 in the morning
466
00:29:03,793 --> 00:29:06,137
and we are going to have to
drive all the way back to LA.
467
00:29:06,137 --> 00:29:10,310
- [Jessie] It's not safe Dick.
468
00:29:10,310 --> 00:29:13,517
- Okay. You can spend the
night.
469
00:29:13,517 --> 00:29:16,862
But you're out of here at seven a.m.
- [Tom] That's a tad early.
470
00:29:16,862 --> 00:29:21,827
- [Dick] Seven a.m.!
471
00:29:21,827 --> 00:29:25,482
Good night!
472
00:29:25,482 --> 00:29:29,758
♪ You told me to be safe but I
know
473
00:29:29,758 --> 00:29:33,793
I can't be safe ♪
474
00:29:33,793 --> 00:29:38,103
[guitar music]
♪ I can't help but to move
forward
475
00:29:38,103 --> 00:29:42,137
I can't see what I'm headed
toward ♪
476
00:29:42,137 --> 00:29:46,517
♪ Trouble in the wind
477
00:29:46,517 --> 00:29:50,586
♪ I feel it now
478
00:29:50,586 --> 00:29:54,862
all over me again ♪
[duck quacks]
479
00:29:54,862 --> 00:29:59,034
♪ All over me again
480
00:29:59,034 --> 00:30:03,206
♪ Trouble like before
481
00:30:03,206 --> 00:30:07,413
♪ Don't want to hide from
482
00:30:07,413 --> 00:30:11,655
Trouble anymore,
No no no ♪
483
00:30:11,655 --> 00:30:15,724
Trouble anymore ♪
484
00:30:15,724 --> 00:30:26,137
[car door closes]
485
00:30:26,137 --> 00:30:31,344
Oh no, no no, don't even stop.
486
00:30:31,344 --> 00:30:33,620
Just keep going, keep going.
487
00:30:33,620 --> 00:30:38,862
Oh you crazy bastard.
488
00:30:38,862 --> 00:30:42,620
[clears throat]
Hey buddy.
489
00:30:42,620 --> 00:30:44,931
- [Tom] I fixed it.
490
00:30:44,931 --> 00:30:49,103
♪ You told me what I want
491
00:30:49,103 --> 00:30:53,448
that's not what I want ♪
492
00:30:53,448 --> 00:30:57,482
♪ I don't want to have to fake
493
00:30:57,482 --> 00:31:01,586
this I can't fix it while you
break this. ♪
494
00:31:01,586 --> 00:31:05,827
Break it. Trouble in the wind ♪
495
00:31:05,827 --> 00:31:09,931
[guitar music]
496
00:31:09,931 --> 00:31:16,896
Tennis.
497
00:31:16,896 --> 00:31:18,931
That's better, we're getting
there.
498
00:31:18,931 --> 00:31:21,793
You're just shaking hands with
the racket. I want you moving.
Moving the whole time.
499
00:31:21,793 --> 00:31:27,068
[grunts]
500
00:31:27,068 --> 00:31:30,724
Out.
[gasp]
501
00:31:30,724 --> 00:31:32,724
- [Dick] T.O. T.O
502
00:31:32,724 --> 00:31:37,931
- T.O.
503
00:31:37,931 --> 00:31:40,758
It's a beautiful day.
- [Dick] Hmmmm
504
00:31:40,758 --> 00:31:45,000
I mean have you ever had a day
this good in your life.
505
00:31:45,000 --> 00:31:50,034
Um yeah.
506
00:31:50,034 --> 00:31:53,103
You smoke?
- [Dick] No, quit years ago.
507
00:31:53,103 --> 00:31:55,344
- How about this guy?
508
00:31:55,344 --> 00:31:58,827
- [Dick] Oh yeah, yeah peace pipe?
- Yeah.
- Sure why not.
509
00:31:58,827 --> 00:32:01,620
- Why don't you get on that.
- Ok
- Just like it looks.
510
00:32:01,620 --> 00:32:05,517
- [Dick] Nice and easy.
- Jump right in.
511
00:32:05,517 --> 00:32:06,655
[inhale]
512
00:32:06,655 --> 00:32:10,620
Wow. I get that one.
513
00:32:10,620 --> 00:32:12,310
- Yeah. Good, right?
514
00:32:12,310 --> 00:32:14,310
- Yeah, it's really good,
really good.
515
00:32:14,310 --> 00:32:18,551
[lighter flicks]
- [Dick] You got the look man.
516
00:32:18,551 --> 00:32:23,724
You're rocking a crazy great
look. I love that headband.
517
00:32:23,724 --> 00:32:25,620
You love the headband?
- [Dick] I do.
518
00:32:25,620 --> 00:32:29,068
- I'm getting you a headband. I
can get you a headband.
519
00:32:29,068 --> 00:32:32,758
You're a broken man.
520
00:32:32,758 --> 00:32:34,931
- Yeah, I mean, it's a little
bit of patella.
521
00:32:34,931 --> 00:32:40,103
Meniscus. I know what you're
saying.
522
00:32:40,103 --> 00:32:44,931
And you came to me for a lesson.
523
00:32:44,931 --> 00:32:50,620
Dick Romans.
524
00:32:50,620 --> 00:32:53,758
- [Dick] I mean, tennis.
525
00:32:53,758 --> 00:32:55,896
- Yeah. Sure.
526
00:32:55,896 --> 00:32:57,517
- Tennis lesson.
527
00:32:57,517 --> 00:33:02,482
Right. A tennis lesson.
[Dick laughs]
528
00:33:02,482 --> 00:33:04,758
There's a little more going on
though. Wouldn't you say?
529
00:33:04,758 --> 00:33:08,517
Yep.
530
00:33:08,517 --> 00:33:14,241
Tennis is not just forehands
and backhands, right?
531
00:33:14,241 --> 00:33:16,379
I mean it is those things.
532
00:33:16,379 --> 00:33:17,896
- [Dick] Because without those
things you know
533
00:33:17,896 --> 00:33:19,896
it's not really even tennis.
534
00:33:19,896 --> 00:33:22,379
- It's not even tennis right.
You have to have forehands and
backhands.
535
00:33:22,379 --> 00:33:26,586
You have to have spin, lob, you
got to have the racket.
536
00:33:26,586 --> 00:33:28,344
- [Dick] There are a lot of
things..
537
00:33:28,344 --> 00:33:30,620
- There are a lot things.
That's very well said.
538
00:33:30,620 --> 00:33:32,241
We are having a moment here.
This is best friends stuff,
539
00:33:32,241 --> 00:33:36,275
my point is, tennis lessons,
life lessons.
540
00:33:36,275 --> 00:33:39,620
Life you only live once.
541
00:33:39,620 --> 00:33:48,172
But tennis, you get to serve
twice.
542
00:33:48,172 --> 00:33:49,724
- [Dick] Wow.
543
00:33:49,724 --> 00:33:51,344
- I mean that's the business.
544
00:33:51,344 --> 00:33:55,758
Am I in your head? Cause I feel
like I'm in your head.
545
00:33:55,758 --> 00:33:58,827
- [Dick] It doesn't work though if you ace everybody.
- Yeah.
546
00:33:58,827 --> 00:34:02,655
- I mean if you're somebody that
just constantly aces people
you don't need a...
547
00:34:02,655 --> 00:34:07,034
you don't need the second serve.
You're winning right off the
bat.
548
00:34:07,034 --> 00:34:10,931
You're just a winner.
So, it's a good quote.
549
00:34:10,931 --> 00:34:20,448
But it's kind of little bit
more of a loser quote.
550
00:34:20,448 --> 00:34:30,827
[guitar music]
551
00:34:30,827 --> 00:34:37,931
♪ I'm just trying to understand
552
00:34:37,931 --> 00:34:40,931
♪ Where I jump and
where I land ♪
553
00:34:40,931 --> 00:34:44,896
- Unbelievable.
554
00:34:44,896 --> 00:34:48,758
♪ When I'm with you
555
00:34:48,758 --> 00:34:53,448
Hey! It's Steve!
- Lenny.
556
00:34:53,448 --> 00:34:57,000
- Lenny! I thought we already
solved the whole food situation.
557
00:34:57,000 --> 00:35:01,241
- No, we're good. I come in peace.
- [Dick] By the way,
I gotta tell ya..
558
00:35:01,241 --> 00:35:04,137
the lasagna, unbelievable.
- Well I'm glad you liked it.
559
00:35:04,137 --> 00:35:06,413
- [Dick] I really liked it.
560
00:35:06,413 --> 00:35:09,482
- [Lenny] I made you a dish, here.
Sample platter.
561
00:35:09,482 --> 00:35:11,379
I know you're going through a
little something
562
00:35:11,379 --> 00:35:13,965
and I figured you could use
another good meal.
563
00:35:13,965 --> 00:35:16,517
Looks like things are getting a
little worse around here.
564
00:35:16,517 --> 00:35:21,931
You're probably not hip to all
the men's fashion for Spring.
565
00:35:21,931 --> 00:35:23,793
This is basically called
bracing
566
00:35:23,793 --> 00:35:27,758
It's all over Japan. The kids
are wearing neck braces,
567
00:35:27,758 --> 00:35:29,310
like prostetic shoes and
different types of hands.
568
00:35:29,310 --> 00:35:30,862
- Ah well. I guess I'm in.
569
00:35:30,862 --> 00:35:33,655
- [Dick] You're on the cutting
edge of fashion.
570
00:35:33,655 --> 00:35:38,413
Oh, look at this, unbelievable.
Oh, solids!
571
00:35:38,413 --> 00:35:40,413
Bless your heart Lenny!
572
00:35:40,413 --> 00:35:43,310
- Well, good luck Dick!
573
00:35:43,310 --> 00:35:48,379
- [Dick] Good luck to you, or whatever. pHey Lenn?
574
00:35:48,379 --> 00:35:50,965
What are you doing tomorrow?
575
00:35:50,965 --> 00:35:52,517
- [Lenny] What do you mean?
576
00:35:52,517 --> 00:35:56,379
- [Dick] I'm kind of on this
bizarre
577
00:35:56,379 --> 00:35:59,551
accidental vision quest,
578
00:35:59,551 --> 00:36:02,034
and I got a wine tasting
tomorrow,
579
00:36:02,034 --> 00:36:05,103
and I thought maybe you would
want to ...
580
00:36:05,103 --> 00:36:06,931
I don't know. Come with me.
581
00:36:06,931 --> 00:36:08,758
- [Lenny] Oh god, that sounds
great.
582
00:36:08,758 --> 00:36:12,482
But I'm booked. I'm catering
this big event for a guy.
583
00:36:12,482 --> 00:36:15,724
- Gotcha. No worries.
We got it. No big deal.
584
00:36:15,724 --> 00:36:17,793
- His wife died.
585
00:36:17,793 --> 00:36:20,965
- Really? You know some guys
have all the luck.
586
00:36:20,965 --> 00:36:23,206
- [Lenny] It was terrible, you
know
587
00:36:23,206 --> 00:36:23,896
her face got chopped off
by an airplane propeller.
588
00:36:23,896 --> 00:36:27,344
- You're kidding me.
589
00:36:27,344 --> 00:36:30,310
So it's going around?
- [Lenny] Yeah.
590
00:36:30,310 --> 00:36:34,517
- So you can, come with me? Or
you can't?
591
00:36:34,517 --> 00:36:38,758
Come on!
- [Lenny] All right. I'm in.
592
00:36:38,758 --> 00:36:40,137
- [Dick] Yeah!
593
00:36:40,137 --> 00:36:41,172
It'll be fun, I promise.
594
00:36:41,172 --> 00:36:53,758
[guitar music]
595
00:36:53,758 --> 00:36:57,862
♪ Let's never fall
596
00:36:57,862 --> 00:37:02,965
in love ♪
597
00:37:02,965 --> 00:37:06,344
♪ Our hearts can only
598
00:37:06,344 --> 00:37:07,620
- Wow.
599
00:37:07,620 --> 00:37:10,655
Ready to get drunk?
600
00:37:10,655 --> 00:37:13,620
- [Lenny] Hey where's your hat?
- My hat? I usually don't wear
it in public.
601
00:37:13,620 --> 00:37:16,000
- Why it's a great hat!
602
00:37:16,000 --> 00:37:17,862
Really, you think so? Me too.
Claire hates it, she calls it
my douchebag hat.
603
00:37:17,862 --> 00:37:19,862
- Oh I don't think it has
anything to do with that.
604
00:37:19,862 --> 00:37:23,310
- Oh funny, get in the bus.
605
00:37:23,310 --> 00:37:31,689
♪ [rap music]
606
00:37:31,689 --> 00:37:34,896
Hey can you turn this up?
607
00:37:34,896 --> 00:37:37,206
[Dick giggles]
608
00:37:37,206 --> 00:37:39,862
You like this song?
Yeah, I like it a lot.
609
00:37:39,862 --> 00:37:42,310
Is this your jam? That's cool.
610
00:37:42,310 --> 00:37:44,275
- What? A girl can't like
gangster rap?
611
00:37:44,275 --> 00:37:46,206
- No, a girl can like gangster
rap.
612
00:37:46,206 --> 00:37:49,000
A girl like you, can't like
gangster rap.
613
00:37:49,000 --> 00:37:53,103
[hiss]
- Let me blow your mind,
are you ready for this?
614
00:37:53,103 --> 00:37:57,103
I used to be in all girl
country gangster
615
00:37:57,103 --> 00:37:59,206
rap band.
616
00:37:59,206 --> 00:38:00,862
- [Dick] Bull shit.
- Honest.
617
00:38:00,862 --> 00:38:02,724
- You were never were in a
country all girl gangster rap
band.
618
00:38:02,724 --> 00:38:04,689
- [Lenny] I was.
[Dick] No I don't believe you.
619
00:38:04,689 --> 00:38:07,000
I don't even
want to hear anymore.
- Whatever.
620
00:38:07,000 --> 00:38:09,379
- Just be quiet. No one needs
pretty girls spitting lies all
over the place.
621
00:38:09,379 --> 00:38:11,206
Give me the name of the band
and three tracks right now.
622
00:38:11,206 --> 00:38:13,724
- We were the DLP. Three
tracks?
623
00:38:13,724 --> 00:38:17,344
Top That Guy, Two at Once, and
Bitches Gotta Eat.
624
00:38:17,344 --> 00:38:19,448
- What did the DLP stand for?
625
00:38:19,448 --> 00:38:22,034
- I don't know you well
enough.
626
00:38:22,034 --> 00:38:24,689
- Alright nevermind.
- Dick Lovin' Posse.
627
00:38:24,689 --> 00:38:29,689
[laughing]
628
00:38:29,689 --> 00:38:32,103
- [Dick] Really?
- [Lenny] Yeah! We were young!
629
00:38:32,103 --> 00:38:33,241
- [Dick] This feels good to me
now.
630
00:38:33,241 --> 00:38:34,827
Now I feel not so worried.
631
00:38:34,827 --> 00:38:37,137
Because at first, when you got
on the bus you seemed
632
00:38:37,137 --> 00:38:38,310
in a bad mood but now we're
going to have fun.
633
00:38:38,310 --> 00:38:41,034
Let's go! Why aren't we
drinking yet?
634
00:38:41,034 --> 00:39:01,827
[rap music]
♪
635
00:39:01,827 --> 00:39:04,482
- [Dick] I'm going to turn this
wine into a cocktail.
636
00:39:04,482 --> 00:39:10,310
This is where I do my thing. Now the party is about to start. p- You've lost your mind.
637
00:39:10,310 --> 00:39:11,827
Holy crap. That's awful.
638
00:39:11,827 --> 00:39:36,655
[rap music] ♪
639
00:39:36,655 --> 00:39:40,758
Are you okay?
640
00:39:40,758 --> 00:39:44,931
- I'm a huge fan.
[Dick] Thank you.
- I mean I loved your show.
641
00:39:44,931 --> 00:39:49,034
- I just,
I love everything about you.
642
00:39:49,034 --> 00:39:58,034
Thank you. Thank you.
643
00:39:58,034 --> 00:40:01,310
What was that?
- [Dick] I don't know, we
should go outside.
644
00:40:01,310 --> 00:40:02,965
[Jessie] What was that?
- I don't know what to
tell you.
645
00:40:02,965 --> 00:40:05,827
I think she thinks I'm somebody else. p- Okay I'm going to go.
646
00:40:05,827 --> 00:40:07,965
Thank you!
647
00:40:07,965 --> 00:40:11,586
I didn't want to raise him in
Atlanta, and my husband had
family out here.
648
00:40:11,586 --> 00:40:14,379
And I thought this seems
like a really great place
649
00:40:14,379 --> 00:40:16,275
for a kid to grow up.
650
00:40:16,275 --> 00:40:19,241
- Huh. I didn't know you had a
kid.
651
00:40:19,241 --> 00:40:23,655
That's cool.
- Stewart. Ten. He's a cool
dude.
652
00:40:23,655 --> 00:40:28,758
He's weird but he's cool.
- Yeah.
653
00:40:28,758 --> 00:40:30,896
Oh I got to sit my ass down for
a second.
654
00:40:30,896 --> 00:40:33,724
- You okay?
- Yeah fine.
655
00:40:33,724 --> 00:40:39,586
So what happened to your husband, did he split? p- Not exactly.
656
00:40:39,586 --> 00:40:43,413
I mean he kind of split. He died.
- Jesus Christ, I'm sorry.
657
00:40:43,413 --> 00:40:51,379
I'm sorry that was graceless.
- It's okay.
658
00:40:51,379 --> 00:40:53,758
Not that face please.
659
00:40:53,758 --> 00:40:57,724
Why does everyone always
assume it's such a sad story.
660
00:40:57,724 --> 00:41:02,620
It wasn't a great marriage.
He wasn't a great man.
661
00:41:02,620 --> 00:41:06,724
I mean don't get me wrong
it's not like I hated him
or anything.
662
00:41:06,724 --> 00:41:08,517
He was a good father.
663
00:41:08,517 --> 00:41:12,655
We should of split up way
before then. And we would've of
but then
664
00:41:12,655 --> 00:41:16,862
he got sick and I spent two
years taking care of him.
665
00:41:16,862 --> 00:41:21,103
I couldn't let him do it alone.
666
00:41:21,103 --> 00:41:25,103
And I put my life on hold, it
was pretty bad.
667
00:41:25,103 --> 00:41:29,344
It was hard on all of us.
668
00:41:29,344 --> 00:41:36,620
But it's better now. It's just
better.
669
00:41:36,620 --> 00:41:40,758
I started this business, and I
got a great kid.
670
00:41:40,758 --> 00:41:44,862
I'm living and doing well.
671
00:41:44,862 --> 00:41:46,551
Who knows maybe someday people
will stop looking at me
672
00:41:46,551 --> 00:41:53,586
like I'm some poor fragile widow.
Like you are right now.
673
00:41:53,586 --> 00:41:54,620
- I am. I'm sorry.
674
00:41:54,620 --> 00:41:58,758
- It's okay. I get it.
675
00:41:58,758 --> 00:42:06,103
Death. It gives us this need to
idealize everything and
everyone.
676
00:42:06,103 --> 00:42:08,310
But the truth and
677
00:42:08,310 --> 00:42:13,931
I'm talking the real truth here
because I've been drinking all
day, and screw it.
678
00:42:13,931 --> 00:42:16,137
I'm happier now than I've ever
been.
679
00:42:16,137 --> 00:42:32,137
was when my husband was alive.
680
00:42:32,137 --> 00:42:35,655
Does that make me a bad person?
681
00:42:35,655 --> 00:42:43,551
- I think it makes you a
fucking fascinating person.
682
00:42:43,551 --> 00:42:47,068
- Okay. [laughs]
683
00:42:47,068 --> 00:42:49,862
So what about you, big tv star?
684
00:42:49,862 --> 00:42:52,896
What happened to you?
685
00:42:52,896 --> 00:42:59,275
[laughs]
- [Dick] Indeed.
686
00:42:59,275 --> 00:43:05,586
Claire was my producer and we
fell in love.
687
00:43:05,586 --> 00:43:10,586
And it was great. We got
hitched.
688
00:43:10,586 --> 00:43:11,724
Then the day before
689
00:43:11,724 --> 00:43:16,413
anniversary week, she split.
690
00:43:16,413 --> 00:43:19,551
She had to be pretty desperate
to get out cause
691
00:43:19,551 --> 00:43:23,724
she didn't bother canceling
the anniversary week,
692
00:43:23,724 --> 00:43:25,689
and Claire is not like that.
693
00:43:25,689 --> 00:43:29,310
She's detail oriented. You
worked with her.
694
00:43:29,310 --> 00:43:32,034
- She's got things in order.
695
00:43:32,034 --> 00:43:37,931
- It's just a fucking week.
696
00:43:37,931 --> 00:43:41,172
All you got to do is hug a few
friends,
697
00:43:41,172 --> 00:43:42,965
have some hors d'oeuvres,
698
00:43:42,965 --> 00:43:54,862
pretend you're having a good
time.
699
00:43:54,862 --> 00:44:03,827
[guitar music]
700
00:44:03,827 --> 00:44:07,931
- [Lenny] Thanks Bert!
- [Bert] You're welcome.
701
00:44:07,931 --> 00:44:11,862
- [Lenny] That was fun.
- [Dick] Yeah. What is this?
702
00:44:11,862 --> 00:44:16,000
Pleasure way, 2004?
- Oh five.
703
00:44:16,000 --> 00:44:19,724
Oh five! This is the bitching
year! - [Lenny] It was Roger's.
704
00:44:19,724 --> 00:44:24,689
Dead husband? Wow he had really
good taste in recreational
vehicles.
705
00:44:24,689 --> 00:44:27,344
Hey hey, can I ask you
something real quick?
- [Lenny] Shoot.
706
00:44:27,344 --> 00:44:29,379
- You think that maybe you'd
want
707
00:44:29,379 --> 00:44:31,655
to do an interview with me for
my new show?
708
00:44:31,655 --> 00:44:33,655
I know its a strange question.
- I don't know.
709
00:44:33,655 --> 00:44:35,586
It's no big deal, no pressure,
you, me, a microphone.
710
00:44:35,586 --> 00:44:38,482
We shoot the shit for a little while.
- Why me?
711
00:44:38,482 --> 00:44:40,620
- Cause I like the stories
that you tell.
712
00:44:40,620 --> 00:44:43,413
[laughs]
I'm going to have to get back
to you on that.
713
00:44:43,413 --> 00:44:46,379
- Alright get back to me. Sure
you don't want to go
714
00:44:46,379 --> 00:44:48,758
do some donuts with Bert in the
Safeway parking lot?
715
00:44:48,758 --> 00:44:51,344
Come on!
- I got to get some sleep.
- [Dick] Ok.
716
00:44:51,344 --> 00:44:57,586
See you later. I had fun too!
- [Lenny] Alright!
717
00:44:57,586 --> 00:45:01,827
Alright Bert, get my broken ass
home.
718
00:45:01,827 --> 00:45:04,724
[guitar music]
719
00:45:04,724 --> 00:45:10,965
♪ I want to fall
720
00:45:10,965 --> 00:45:15,103
♪ I want to fall with you
721
00:45:15,103 --> 00:45:19,896
[phone ringing]
722
00:45:19,896 --> 00:45:25,689
- [Dick] Claire?
- Dick?
723
00:45:25,689 --> 00:45:27,896
- Hey. Hello?
724
00:45:27,896 --> 00:45:31,896
- Hi, it's me, it's Lenny.
725
00:45:31,896 --> 00:45:35,034
- Oh. Hey!
- Hey!
726
00:45:35,034 --> 00:45:38,551
You are an extremely aggressive
caterer.
727
00:45:38,551 --> 00:45:42,517
I think I made myself pretty
clear that I don't need any
more food.
728
00:45:42,517 --> 00:45:44,310
- Um no, that's not it.
- [Dick] Ok.
729
00:45:44,310 --> 00:45:48,379
- Um I need to ask you
for a favor.
730
00:45:48,379 --> 00:45:53,724
- Is this? A booty call?
731
00:45:53,724 --> 00:45:59,379
- [Lenny] No.
- [Dick] You're calling for
sexual favors and I'm not sure
732
00:45:59,379 --> 00:46:03,517
I'm actually fine with it. I'm
ok. Ask the favor.
733
00:46:03,517 --> 00:46:05,517
- Ok, I hope this isn't too
weird, but
734
00:46:05,517 --> 00:46:09,310
I have this big meeting
tomorrow.
735
00:46:09,310 --> 00:46:13,206
With a new client. It
just came up and I..
736
00:46:13,206 --> 00:46:15,172
I don't, I tried every... I
don't have anyone.
737
00:46:15,172 --> 00:46:17,655
- Do you want me to watch your
kid for you? Is that what
you're asking?
738
00:46:17,655 --> 00:46:19,034
- Yeah.
- [Dick] Done.
739
00:46:19,034 --> 00:46:20,379
It's... Lenny fine.
740
00:46:20,379 --> 00:46:22,724
See, I can watch your kid.
Absolutely, no problem.
741
00:46:22,724 --> 00:46:24,620
- Yeah?
- [Dick] Yeah.
742
00:46:24,620 --> 00:46:26,827
- Really?
- [Dick] Yeah, sure. Yeah kids
love me.
743
00:46:26,827 --> 00:46:32,413
- Ok cool. I mean I don't want
to you know, interrupt your
744
00:46:32,413 --> 00:46:35,379
unintentional vision quest
or whatever.
745
00:46:35,379 --> 00:46:37,068
- [Dick] no, you're not going to
mess up anything.
746
00:46:37,068 --> 00:46:42,206
Tomorrow is bunch of crap at
the house anyway.
747
00:46:42,206 --> 00:46:45,620
It's various sporting
activities around the Roman's
property.
748
00:46:45,620 --> 00:46:48,862
Drop the kid off and he'll be
my competition.
749
00:46:48,862 --> 00:46:50,206
- Ok.
- [Dick] Yeah?
750
00:46:50,206 --> 00:46:52,310
That would be fun I think for
him, I don't know.
751
00:46:52,310 --> 00:46:55,413
- [Dick] Is that good? Is it
great? Are you relieved that
I'm doing that for you.
752
00:46:55,413 --> 00:46:58,448
- [Lenny] I am I really
appreciate it.
753
00:46:58,448 --> 00:47:00,620
I have to ask you a question.
754
00:47:00,620 --> 00:47:03,862
Are you going to drink any more
tonight?
755
00:47:03,862 --> 00:47:07,586
[Dick] Mmmm, nope.
756
00:47:07,586 --> 00:47:09,586
- [Lenny] Oh good, cool.
- [Dick] No..
- [Lenny] Alright.
757
00:47:09,586 --> 00:47:12,413
- I'm probably just going to
hit the sack. - [Lenny] Ok.
758
00:47:12,413 --> 00:47:14,965
- [Lenny] Are you sure it's
not too weird?
759
00:47:14,965 --> 00:47:18,862
- No, it's super weird but that's
what life is, right?
760
00:47:18,862 --> 00:47:22,689
I mean, it's really weird. You
don't know me, I could be a
psycho.
761
00:47:22,689 --> 00:47:24,827
I could have seventeen bodies
buried underneath the house.
762
00:47:24,827 --> 00:47:26,965
- [Lenny] Stop please, this is
hard enough for me as it is.
763
00:47:26,965 --> 00:47:31,517
- You stop. I'm joking. I don't
have seventeen bodies buried
underneath my house.
764
00:47:31,517 --> 00:47:36,793
I have sixteen actually. Your
son would be the seventeenth.
765
00:47:36,793 --> 00:47:40,827
You didn't think that's funny at
all did you? Ok.
766
00:47:40,827 --> 00:47:44,655
Okay. Come on. You laughed a
little bit I know you did.
767
00:47:44,655 --> 00:47:48,068
- [Lenny] Ok, bye.
- Ok, bye bye.
- Thanks Dick.
768
00:47:48,068 --> 00:47:56,724
- You're welcome Lenny. You're
welcome.
769
00:47:56,724 --> 00:47:59,241
- [Dick] What are you doing?
- What?
770
00:47:59,241 --> 00:48:00,827
- [Dick] You say goodbye and
then people hang up.
771
00:48:00,827 --> 00:48:02,758
- Oh yeah.
- [Dick] I'm hanging up now
goodbye.
772
00:48:02,758 --> 00:48:30,000
- Ok bye.
773
00:48:30,000 --> 00:48:34,517
- [Dick] Today I talk life,
death, and axes with financial
hatchet man
774
00:48:34,517 --> 00:48:38,103
Dag Tomaz and debate advanced M
theory with physicist slash pop
775
00:48:38,103 --> 00:48:43,068
superstar Ashoki Sen
or none of the above.
776
00:48:43,068 --> 00:48:44,310
[applause]
777
00:48:44,310 --> 00:48:49,241
Dag! Welcome to the show.
778
00:48:49,241 --> 00:48:51,758
- [Torsten] And its all about
aligning yourself
779
00:48:51,758 --> 00:48:54,137
with what is happening at the
moment, always being in the
moment.
780
00:48:54,137 --> 00:48:56,206
- [Dick] Mmm Hmmm. Can you help
me this Torsten?
781
00:48:56,206 --> 00:48:58,448
- [Torsten] Do you have a
problem with it?
782
00:48:58,448 --> 00:48:59,620
- I have a huge problem with
it, because while you were
talking
783
00:48:59,620 --> 00:49:01,827
I was drifting off thinking
about my laundry.
784
00:49:01,827 --> 00:49:04,931
- [Torsten] Where did you go?
- To the dry cleaner.
785
00:49:04,931 --> 00:49:06,689
Was that a sexual relationship?
- We were intimate briefly.
786
00:49:06,689 --> 00:49:08,724
- You just outed Marina
Abramovich.
787
00:49:08,724 --> 00:49:11,000
It was like going to Baskin
Robbins and having a small
sample.
788
00:49:11,000 --> 00:49:13,103
- [Dick] It was just a small taste.
- It was a taste of something.
789
00:49:13,103 --> 00:49:15,586
- Do you know what I do when I
got to Baskin Robbins and I
have a taste?
790
00:49:15,586 --> 00:49:17,655
I say I'll have the blueberry
cheesecake surprise and they
give me
791
00:49:17,655 --> 00:49:23,862
a little bit of it and I go
[gags] ah God! That's
disgusting.
792
00:49:23,862 --> 00:49:28,206
You serve this shit?! And then
I leave. They hate that.
793
00:49:28,206 --> 00:49:32,275
Hey listen, talk to me about
what the hells going on
794
00:49:32,275 --> 00:49:34,689
between you and Michio?
795
00:49:34,689 --> 00:49:37,068
- I mean he's the Dane Cook of
astrophysicists. A sell out.
796
00:49:37,068 --> 00:49:40,344
- See its stuff like that,
that's gets us into trouble.
What are you doing?
797
00:49:40,344 --> 00:49:44,793
- Good Lord!
- Fight the real enemy!
- [laughing] And or none of the
above.
798
00:49:44,793 --> 00:49:48,827
We're never coming back on tv
again, we're done.
799
00:49:48,827 --> 00:49:50,896
So you were the guy with the prairie dog?
- Pretty much.
800
00:49:50,896 --> 00:49:52,068
- Cause I have my own prairie
dog, I don't know if you know
this.
801
00:49:52,068 --> 00:49:54,724
- Oh, you do?
802
00:49:54,724 --> 00:49:57,310
Yeah, live via Skype, from Las
Vegas, pornography super star
Prairie Dog!
803
00:49:57,310 --> 00:49:59,551
- PD!
- What's up Dick!
804
00:49:59,551 --> 00:50:01,482
- What's up buddy see what I got on set?
- what the hell is that thing?
805
00:50:01,482 --> 00:50:05,586
- That's a prairie dog, that's
a real prairie dog and you're a
sex prairie dog.
806
00:50:05,586 --> 00:50:07,793
[laughing]
807
00:50:07,793 --> 00:50:13,965
[speaking Japanese]
808
00:50:13,965 --> 00:50:17,931
- Thank you.
- Thank you.
809
00:50:17,931 --> 00:50:22,068
[typing]
810
00:50:22,068 --> 00:50:32,275
[click]
811
00:50:32,275 --> 00:50:34,551
In the American
812
00:50:34,551 --> 00:50:38,689
propaganda war Dick, you, you
are a domestic terrorist.
813
00:50:38,689 --> 00:50:42,827
- We'll be back! Irving Petty.
- And we're clear!
- Thank god.
814
00:50:42,827 --> 00:50:44,896
[clears throat] Not right now.
Get Claire on the phone for me
please.
815
00:50:44,896 --> 00:50:47,034
Claire, why are there no
writers on the goddamn floor
right now?
816
00:50:47,034 --> 00:50:51,241
Cause is it your fucking show
or is it my fucking show? Cause
I'm not...
817
00:50:51,241 --> 00:50:55,551
that's a whole other thing now.
- Fifteen seconds
- Oh goddamn it!!
818
00:50:55,551 --> 00:50:59,655
- What are charging for this
piece of shit? Thirty seven
fifty?
819
00:50:59,655 --> 00:51:01,689
U. S. Dollars? Yeah, because
I'm done with you.
820
00:51:01,689 --> 00:51:03,862
Get the fuck off my show, get
him off.
821
00:51:03,862 --> 00:51:07,896
I'm your guest. You invited me.
- You in fact are not my
guest.
822
00:51:07,896 --> 00:51:12,034
So please find an exit. I'm
done. Craig? He's done.
823
00:51:12,034 --> 00:51:13,827
Dick you can't light that in
here.
824
00:51:13,827 --> 00:51:16,827
Don't tell me what I can and
cannot light in my own goddamn
show.
825
00:51:16,827 --> 00:51:20,482
This is my show!
826
00:51:20,482 --> 00:51:22,965
[ripping]
827
00:51:22,965 --> 00:51:25,000
- What are you doing?
- Want to see what I can light?
I'll show you what I can light.
828
00:51:25,000 --> 00:51:28,655
Alright light this bitch on fire.
- Now you're a book burner,
congratulations.
829
00:51:28,655 --> 00:51:32,620
- [Dick] [yelling] It's burning!
That's it, your book is on
fire.
830
00:51:32,620 --> 00:51:36,586
Don't you dare, don't you dare
do it. I started the fire!
831
00:51:36,586 --> 00:51:48,034
I started the fire! I started
the fire!
832
00:51:48,034 --> 00:52:00,517
[guitar music]
833
00:52:00,517 --> 00:52:03,827
[guitar music]
834
00:52:03,827 --> 00:52:07,793
♪ In a pale yellow
835
00:52:07,793 --> 00:52:09,068
[quacking]
836
00:52:09,068 --> 00:52:13,724
♪ yellow pit
837
00:52:13,724 --> 00:52:15,275
♪ in my mind
838
00:52:15,275 --> 00:52:17,103
- [Dick] Come on, time to wake
up
839
00:52:17,103 --> 00:52:21,103
we got people coming over.
840
00:52:21,103 --> 00:52:24,379
- [Lenny] This is an adventure
right? So call me if you need
anything.
841
00:52:24,379 --> 00:52:26,068
- [Dick] Good morning
everybody!
842
00:52:26,068 --> 00:52:30,379
- [Lenny] Hey douchebag.
- [Dick] Hey how's it going
champ?
843
00:52:30,379 --> 00:52:34,689
Oh Stewart, sorry, Stewart.
- [Lenny] Stewart is a little...
844
00:52:34,689 --> 00:52:38,689
I think you guys are going to
get along just fine.
845
00:52:38,689 --> 00:52:42,724
- Oh yeah we're going to be great.
- [Lenny] Yeah. You good?
846
00:52:42,724 --> 00:52:47,034
I'll see you tonight.
- [Stewart] Okay.
847
00:52:47,034 --> 00:52:51,137
- [Lenny] Thanks. You know.
[sniffs]
848
00:52:51,137 --> 00:52:55,275
Alright, have fun!
- [Stewart] Bye mom!
849
00:52:55,275 --> 00:52:59,344
What sort of stuff are you into Stewart?P- I don't know, do you have apfrisbee?
850
00:52:59,344 --> 00:53:03,862
- Do I have a frisbee? No I
don't have a frisbee but they
got ultimate frisbee on tv.
851
00:53:03,862 --> 00:53:07,344
We could watch that.
- [Stewart] They don't have
ultimate frisbee.
852
00:53:07,344 --> 00:53:09,655
- [Dick] Oh yeah you don't
think so?
853
00:53:09,655 --> 00:53:12,551
I bet, what if I showed you?
Would you believe me then?
854
00:53:12,551 --> 00:53:15,206
How about boxing?
- [Stewart] Yeah.
855
00:53:15,206 --> 00:53:16,931
- [Dick] You like boxing?
Alright let's do it.
856
00:53:16,931 --> 00:53:20,758
Right, right,
[punching]
857
00:53:20,758 --> 00:53:23,103
Good, right, right, right.
858
00:53:23,103 --> 00:53:24,862
[whack]
859
00:53:24,862 --> 00:53:29,793
Didn't see that coming? Always got to look...
[punch]
Argh!
860
00:53:29,793 --> 00:53:46,517
[guitar music]
861
00:53:46,517 --> 00:53:50,655
- [Doctor] What the hell did you do?
- [Dick] We were boxing.
862
00:53:50,655 --> 00:53:52,724
- It's a common mistake with
this kind of knee injury.
863
00:53:52,724 --> 00:53:54,827
Everybody goes back to boxing a
little too soon.
864
00:53:54,827 --> 00:53:59,034
Fucking moron.
[Stewart] The cat looks like a
jerk.
865
00:53:59,034 --> 00:54:03,172
- [Doctor] What?
- [Stewart] It looks mean.
866
00:54:03,172 --> 00:54:05,275
- [Doctor] Tugger?
- [Dick] Tugger?
867
00:54:05,275 --> 00:54:07,379
[Stewart] Tugger looks like an
asshole.
868
00:54:07,379 --> 00:54:11,586
[laughing]
Well what do you know about
cats?
869
00:54:11,586 --> 00:54:13,586
- I know what they look like
when they're going to scratch
you.
870
00:54:13,586 --> 00:54:15,482
- [Doctor] That cat would lay
down his goddamn life for me.
871
00:54:15,482 --> 00:54:19,413
- [Stewart] I don't think so.
872
00:54:19,413 --> 00:54:20,689
- [Doctor] You little shit.
- [Dick] Okay, no, no, no.
873
00:54:20,689 --> 00:54:23,965
It's best for him to be in the
waiting room.
874
00:54:23,965 --> 00:54:28,137
Let's go Stewart, go. I'll be
out there in a second bud.
875
00:54:28,137 --> 00:54:32,206
- Somebody should have a few
words with that kid. I mean you
can't just insult a man's cat.
876
00:54:32,206 --> 00:54:36,413
- You're on the knee, Doc.
- Are you all out of your
pussy cream?
877
00:54:36,413 --> 00:54:38,862
- I could probably use another
tube.
878
00:54:38,862 --> 00:54:40,965
- Yeah I thought maybe you
could. I'm going to need to see
you in a couple days.
879
00:54:40,965 --> 00:54:43,206
- [Dick] Really?
- [Doctor] Yeah, really.
- [Dick] Oh shit.
880
00:54:43,206 --> 00:54:57,241
[upbeat music]
881
00:54:57,241 --> 00:55:01,275
So do you think my mom is cute
or something?
882
00:55:01,275 --> 00:55:05,482
- [Dick] Ummmm.
883
00:55:05,482 --> 00:55:07,793
I have never thought about it,
884
00:55:07,793 --> 00:55:15,517
whether she was cute or not.
[clears throat]
885
00:55:15,517 --> 00:55:18,344
Why do you think she's cute?
- [Stewart] No, she's my mom.
886
00:55:18,344 --> 00:55:22,689
- [Dick] Right. Yeah, of
course.
887
00:55:22,689 --> 00:55:26,448
It's a stupid question. I
don't know why I asked that
question.
888
00:55:26,448 --> 00:55:29,551
- [Stewart] Mom's a pretty good
cook but she cuts herself a lot.
889
00:55:29,551 --> 00:55:33,103
There's probably a lot of blood
in that food that she gave you.
890
00:55:33,103 --> 00:55:35,413
- Really?
- [Stewart] Yeah really.
891
00:55:35,413 --> 00:55:38,965
- [Dick] Thank you for the
heads up. That's disgusting.
892
00:55:38,965 --> 00:55:43,172
- [Stewart] Yeah.
- Glad I have the information.
- Yeah.
893
00:55:43,172 --> 00:55:46,482
- [Dick] What is your deal
Stewart? Hmm?
894
00:55:46,482 --> 00:55:50,896
I never saw my doctor get so
pissed off. And I got you tell
you,
895
00:55:50,896 --> 00:55:52,896
I like pissing him off.
896
00:55:52,896 --> 00:55:58,241
- [Stewart] You know every day
is like the same.
897
00:55:58,241 --> 00:56:01,517
It makes me mad.
898
00:56:01,517 --> 00:56:04,689
[grunts]
899
00:56:04,689 --> 00:56:06,275
- [Dick] You what the bad news is?
- [Stewart] What?
900
00:56:06,275 --> 00:56:10,551
That feeling doesn't ever go
away.
901
00:56:10,551 --> 00:56:13,517
You know what the good news
is?
902
00:56:13,517 --> 00:56:15,551
- [Stewart] No.
903
00:56:15,551 --> 00:56:17,517
- [Dick] In a few years, you'll
be old enough you can drink.
904
00:56:17,517 --> 00:56:22,586
- How is that going to help?
- [Dick] Trust me. It helps.
905
00:56:22,586 --> 00:56:24,655
Have you figured out this maze
yet?
906
00:56:24,655 --> 00:56:26,862
- [Stewart] No.
907
00:56:26,862 --> 00:56:29,275
- [Dick] This is the hardest
maze I've ever done in my life.
908
00:56:29,275 --> 00:56:32,448
Yeah, you know what, can I talk
to you for a second?
909
00:56:32,448 --> 00:56:33,724
Watch this. Watch and learn.
910
00:56:33,724 --> 00:56:36,206
- [Waitress] Hi!
- [Dick] Hi how are you?
911
00:56:36,206 --> 00:56:37,793
- Great how are you?
912
00:56:37,793 --> 00:56:40,068
- Oh we're great. We're working
on this mazes over here,
913
00:56:40,068 --> 00:56:42,241
and we're having some trouble
getting out.
914
00:56:42,241 --> 00:56:44,448
- [Waitress] What do you mean?
915
00:56:44,448 --> 00:56:46,965
- Well we wondered if you maybe
had some sort answer key
916
00:56:46,965 --> 00:56:48,586
or maybe a cheat sheet we could
look at and figure out how to
917
00:56:48,586 --> 00:56:50,655
get out of the maze.
918
00:56:50,655 --> 00:56:53,931
- Yeah, I don't know. [laughs]
- [Dick] Has anyone ever solved
the maze?
919
00:56:53,931 --> 00:56:55,655
- [Waitress] I don't know.
920
00:56:55,655 --> 00:57:00,068
You don't know. Jump and down
and say yeah we got out!
921
00:57:00,068 --> 00:57:02,965
Yeah, I don't know.
922
00:57:02,965 --> 00:57:05,793
Do you just keep saying I don't
know? I mean you can't hand out
broken mazes to kids
923
00:57:05,793 --> 00:57:08,758
cause then they wind up heart
broken and looking like this
kid looks right now.
924
00:57:08,758 --> 00:57:12,965
Look at him, he's wrecked. You
did that. It's not right.
925
00:57:12,965 --> 00:57:16,137
It's not right.
926
00:57:16,137 --> 00:57:18,275
- [Waitress] Do you want some
coffee?
927
00:57:18,275 --> 00:57:20,137
- [Dick] No, don't need a
coffee.
928
00:57:20,137 --> 00:57:21,586
Be great to have a maze we can
get out of.
929
00:57:21,586 --> 00:57:24,448
- [Waitress] Yeah I bet. So can
you clear up those crutches?
930
00:57:24,448 --> 00:57:31,793
Cause they're blocking the
walkway.
931
00:57:31,793 --> 00:57:35,896
- [Stewart] Asshole.
- [Dick] Thank you.
932
00:57:35,896 --> 00:57:41,517
You talking about her right?
933
00:57:41,517 --> 00:57:43,137
Up high.
934
00:57:43,137 --> 00:57:49,310
♪ You only need me when you're
drunk ♪
935
00:57:49,310 --> 00:57:52,689
♪ You only claim me when push
comes to shove ♪
936
00:57:52,689 --> 00:57:55,344
[quacking]
937
00:57:55,344 --> 00:57:59,793
Hey, hey listen hold on a
second.
938
00:57:59,793 --> 00:58:02,551
Tell me what you have Neil give
me some good news
939
00:58:02,551 --> 00:58:04,551
because I swear to God, I'm
completely in the dark.
940
00:58:04,551 --> 00:58:08,620
- Yeah Dickie listen, I spoke to
Claire's lawyers.
941
00:58:08,620 --> 00:58:11,413
She doesn't want to see you,
doesn't want to talk to you,
942
00:58:11,413 --> 00:58:13,862
she doesn't want arbitration,
doesn't want mediation, and...
943
00:58:13,862 --> 00:58:15,482
- [Dick] Jesus Christ
944
00:58:15,482 --> 00:58:18,379
- And uh, Dickie,
there's worse news.
945
00:58:18,379 --> 00:58:21,413
- Oh great, as long as there's
worse news, let's hear it.
946
00:58:21,413 --> 00:58:23,448
- [Neil] Normally I wouldn't
bring this up,
947
00:58:23,448 --> 00:58:27,137
but I read your horoscope this
morning. And this is literally,
948
00:58:27,137 --> 00:58:32,379
the worst month in twelve years
for you to be getting a
divorce.
949
00:58:32,379 --> 00:58:36,379
And I'm not talking about the
horoscopes in the back of some
bullshit LA times, Dickie.
950
00:58:36,379 --> 00:58:38,862
This is the guy that Ronald Regan
used.
951
00:58:38,862 --> 00:58:41,448
- [Dick] Oh fantastic
- [Neil] Imagine that, okay?
952
00:58:41,448 --> 00:58:45,689
- [Neil] Exclusive club,
members only invited.
953
00:58:45,689 --> 00:58:50,000
This is the worst time for you
to be thinking about getting a
divorce.
954
00:58:50,000 --> 00:58:53,172
- [Dick] I don't have a lot of
control over that Neil.
955
00:58:53,172 --> 00:58:55,448
Maybe buy her something,
something meaningful.
956
00:58:55,448 --> 00:58:58,655
I use Etsy, are you familiar
with Etsy? This woman,
957
00:58:58,655 --> 00:59:04,620
this lady makes personalized
baskets, handmade they're
wonderful.
958
00:59:04,620 --> 00:59:06,862
Maybe you should think about
getting Claire that? You know?
959
00:59:06,862 --> 00:59:08,724
It'll show her that you're
trying.
960
00:59:08,724 --> 00:59:12,689
- [Dick] Um, I don't even know
what to say to that.
961
00:59:12,689 --> 00:59:16,793
How do I pull that off exactly
when she doesn't want to have
contact with me?
962
00:59:16,793 --> 00:59:20,896
Now you're telling me that I
should get her a fruit basket.
963
00:59:20,896 --> 00:59:25,103
Based on Ronald Reagan's horoscope.
[Neil] They're not just baskets
Dickie, they're
964
00:59:25,103 --> 00:59:30,000
customized to the individual.
- [Dick] Let me ask you
something. Is this the top
965
00:59:30,000 --> 00:59:33,275
This is the good stuff?
- [Neil] I'm sorry Dickie okay?
966
00:59:33,275 --> 00:59:37,620
This is hard on all of us pal.
I mean you and Claire are that
couple.
967
00:59:37,620 --> 00:59:41,793
If you two can't make it work
than what hope do me and Julie
have?
968
00:59:41,793 --> 00:59:45,896
I'm fucked. You know that?
- [Dick] Yeah I am too. I gotta
go.
969
00:59:45,896 --> 00:59:54,241
Goodbye.
970
00:59:54,241 --> 01:00:02,517
- [Dick] Shhh. He's sleeping.
971
01:00:02,517 --> 01:00:07,517
Wow. He's out?
- [Dick] Out.
972
01:00:07,517 --> 01:00:09,310
They like each other. Come on.
973
01:00:09,310 --> 01:00:11,275
- [Lenny] So how'd it go?
974
01:00:11,275 --> 01:00:15,586
- It went really well. You know what I did? p[Lenny] What?
975
01:00:15,586 --> 01:00:17,344
I had him bake cookies for you.
- You guys baked cookies?
976
01:00:17,344 --> 01:00:20,034
Yeah you got to taste one of
those.
977
01:00:20,034 --> 01:00:24,068
They are horrible. Right?
978
01:00:24,068 --> 01:00:25,413
- [Lenny] What? Oh my god.
979
01:00:25,413 --> 01:00:28,275
- [Dick] That's the worst
cookie.
980
01:00:28,275 --> 01:00:32,000
There's a urine kind of
taste to them. I don't know how
you get that in a cookie.
981
01:00:32,000 --> 01:00:33,655
- Why did you make me eat that?
982
01:00:33,655 --> 01:00:36,103
- Your son made those. He takes after you.p- [Lenny] No.
983
01:00:36,103 --> 01:00:40,827
- No, he doesn't. Cause you
actually cook really well. How
did it go today?
984
01:00:40,827 --> 01:00:44,793
- Good, yeah, it was a tasting
985
01:00:44,793 --> 01:00:47,413
for a big country club wedding
and I nailed it.
986
01:00:47,413 --> 01:00:56,482
- [Dick] Course you did.
- Yeah.
987
01:00:56,482 --> 01:00:59,000
That it might be fun to do that
thing.
988
01:00:59,000 --> 01:01:01,413
You know the interview thing
that you were talking about.
989
01:01:01,413 --> 01:01:03,379
- [Dick] Oh yeah.
- [Lenny] Yeah.
- [Dick] Yeah
990
01:01:03,379 --> 01:01:05,344
- [Lenny] You know, if you were serious.
- [Dick] Dead serious.
991
01:01:05,344 --> 01:01:09,448
- Let me know.
- Okay, I'll let you know right
now
992
01:01:09,448 --> 01:01:11,068
You mean you want to do it
right now?
993
01:01:11,068 --> 01:01:14,620
Yeah, let's do it right now.
994
01:01:14,620 --> 01:01:19,206
Ok, he's drunk. He's been
drinking all day, he's not
going anywhere.
995
01:01:19,206 --> 01:01:21,068
Come on, it'll be a blast.
- [Lenny] Okay.
996
01:01:21,068 --> 01:01:26,068
- [Dick] Yeah?
- [Lenny] Yeah.
997
01:01:26,068 --> 01:01:37,068
[clears throat]
998
01:01:37,068 --> 01:01:38,689
Today.
999
01:01:38,689 --> 01:01:41,724
Is April 11th, could you state
your name for the record please?
1000
01:01:41,724 --> 01:01:46,482
Lenny Jane Wright.
- Lenny Jane Wright.
1001
01:01:46,482 --> 01:01:50,103
What should we talk about today?
We could talk about boxing,
1002
01:01:50,103 --> 01:01:53,689
we could talk about cats.
We could talk about cat boxes.
We could talk about..
1003
01:01:53,689 --> 01:01:58,620
Only children, single mothers
milk of human kindness, the DLP?
1004
01:01:58,620 --> 01:02:04,344
Coincidence.
- Let's talk about coincidence.
1005
01:02:04,344 --> 01:02:08,517
I was almost an Icelander.
1006
01:02:08,517 --> 01:02:11,103
That might be my favorite
sentence I have ever heard.
1007
01:02:11,103 --> 01:02:17,896
[laughs] When I was in the
fifth grade, um..
1008
01:02:17,896 --> 01:02:20,034
my father was in between jobs
1009
01:02:20,034 --> 01:02:23,379
and he worked with computers
and satellites.
1010
01:02:23,379 --> 01:02:25,965
And he got this job offer in
Iceland.
1011
01:02:25,965 --> 01:02:30,896
So he hired me and my brother
and an Icelandic tutor.
1012
01:02:30,896 --> 01:02:34,655
And we spent the entire summer
1013
01:02:34,655 --> 01:02:37,862
three days a week learning
Icelandic with Johannes
1014
01:02:37,862 --> 01:02:39,448
- [Dick] Ah Johannes.
1015
01:02:39,448 --> 01:02:42,931
Anyway, so he was a college student
on break touring America
1016
01:02:42,931 --> 01:02:45,551
and he became part of the
family.
1017
01:02:45,551 --> 01:02:47,896
He put part of his trip on hold
so that he could stay
1018
01:02:47,896 --> 01:02:50,862
and teach us and get us ready.
1019
01:02:50,862 --> 01:02:54,310
Because Georgia to Iceland that
is a huge adjustment.
1020
01:02:54,310 --> 01:02:56,275
- [Dick] That's a big jump.
- Yeah.
1021
01:02:56,275 --> 01:02:58,827
Anyway my father, he goes over
there
1022
01:02:58,827 --> 01:03:00,758
to look for a house and to get
us into school
1023
01:03:00,758 --> 01:03:03,724
and when he comes back
1024
01:03:03,724 --> 01:03:07,655
he shows us this super 8 mm
film that he shot
1025
01:03:07,655 --> 01:03:10,482
of this street festival in
Reykjavik.
1026
01:03:10,482 --> 01:03:14,344
And there is no sound, so
Johannes is talking us through
it
1027
01:03:14,344 --> 01:03:15,482
and he's telling us all
1028
01:03:15,482 --> 01:03:20,931
about about the city, and the
food.
1029
01:03:20,931 --> 01:03:23,758
and the clothing and all of a
sudden
1030
01:03:23,758 --> 01:03:27,103
he just starts crying.
1031
01:03:27,103 --> 01:03:30,586
Nobody knows what is going on.
1032
01:03:30,586 --> 01:03:35,034
And he just gets up and he
leaves.
1033
01:03:35,034 --> 01:03:38,172
And we don't hear from him for
like a week.
1034
01:03:38,172 --> 01:03:46,827
And one night my dad gets this
call and Johannes went back to
Iceland.
1035
01:03:46,827 --> 01:03:51,931
Now um, the reason was because,
1036
01:03:51,931 --> 01:03:53,758
the film my dad showed us.
1037
01:03:53,758 --> 01:03:56,206
of the street festival,
1038
01:03:56,206 --> 01:03:58,103
in the crowd
1039
01:03:58,103 --> 01:04:01,448
Johannes saw his fiancè
1040
01:04:01,448 --> 01:04:10,275
making out with his best friend.
1041
01:04:10,275 --> 01:04:14,827
- [Dick] Ouch.
- [Lenny] Yeah.
1042
01:04:14,827 --> 01:04:21,275
That's my first memory of
anything completely true.
1043
01:04:21,275 --> 01:04:26,413
It was proven right there in
front of all us.
1044
01:04:26,413 --> 01:04:30,103
It was real.
1045
01:04:30,103 --> 01:04:34,241
Just like your final show.
1046
01:04:34,241 --> 01:04:35,793
The one that never aired.
1047
01:04:35,793 --> 01:04:39,827
- [Dick] Truthfully, there
wasn't much to air.
1048
01:04:39,827 --> 01:04:42,068
- [Lenny] January 13, 2012.
1049
01:04:42,068 --> 01:04:44,517
- [Dick] You've done your
homework.
1050
01:04:44,517 --> 01:04:49,931
- The day that your show died.
1051
01:04:49,931 --> 01:04:54,689
was the same day that my
husband died.
1052
01:04:54,689 --> 01:05:01,724
January 13, 2012.
1053
01:05:01,724 --> 01:05:06,862
It can't just be coincidence.
1054
01:05:06,862 --> 01:05:10,517
It's the truth.
1055
01:05:10,517 --> 01:05:13,310
And it's not good.
1056
01:05:13,310 --> 01:05:20,931
It's not beautiful. It's just
true.
1057
01:05:20,931 --> 01:05:22,862
I feel like
1058
01:05:22,862 --> 01:05:26,896
life keeps showing me this over
and over again.
1059
01:05:26,896 --> 01:05:31,000
I don't know what it means.
1060
01:05:31,000 --> 01:05:34,586
Maybe that's why we're here.
1061
01:05:34,586 --> 01:05:47,000
To figure it out.
1062
01:05:47,000 --> 01:05:50,137
[door shuts]
1063
01:05:50,137 --> 01:05:53,344
You like it?
- [Stewart] Sort of.
1064
01:05:53,344 --> 01:05:58,517
- [Dick] Not a hundred percent?
- [Stewart] Yeah.
1065
01:05:58,517 --> 01:06:06,620
[footsteps]
1066
01:06:06,620 --> 01:06:08,758
[door shuts]
1067
01:06:08,758 --> 01:06:12,655
- [Lenny] You spoil him.
- [Dick] He's a good kid.
1068
01:06:12,655 --> 01:06:15,137
- Yeah.
1069
01:06:15,137 --> 01:06:21,620
- Thanks.
- Thanks yeah.
[laughs]
1070
01:06:21,620 --> 01:06:24,413
- [Dick] Oh give me a hug.
[nervous laugh]
1071
01:06:24,413 --> 01:06:29,206
Thanks.
- [Lenny] Yeah..
1072
01:06:29,206 --> 01:06:34,000
oh, okay... hey! Wow.
1073
01:06:34,000 --> 01:06:40,137
- [Dick] I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
1074
01:06:40,137 --> 01:06:44,965
[engine starts]
You know what? I'm sorry.
1075
01:06:44,965 --> 01:06:47,068
- Lenny?
1076
01:06:47,068 --> 01:06:52,275
Ok, it's really narrow, you
want to watch out going back.
- [Lenny] I got it!
1077
01:06:52,275 --> 01:06:59,793
- [Lenny] [groans]
- It's all right, take it slow
through
that it's really narrow.
1078
01:06:59,793 --> 01:07:06,724
[sad music]
1079
01:07:06,724 --> 01:07:10,620
♪ Our hearts
1080
01:07:10,620 --> 01:07:16,034
can only betray us ♪
1081
01:07:16,034 --> 01:07:20,689
♪ I can't afford to care
1082
01:07:20,689 --> 01:07:23,724
[quacking]
1083
01:07:23,724 --> 01:07:26,827
What?
- [Operator] Please hold for Mr.
Young.
1084
01:07:26,827 --> 01:07:28,862
- [Jaron] Are you ignoring me?
- [Dick] No I'm sorry.
1085
01:07:28,862 --> 01:07:31,482
- No, no I'm sorry for even
bothering to do this.
1086
01:07:31,482 --> 01:07:33,137
Did you get any of my texts?
1087
01:07:33,137 --> 01:07:36,137
- [Dick] Yeah I got your texts,
I miss you too.
1088
01:07:36,137 --> 01:07:38,793
I got a lot going right on now
Jaron.
1089
01:07:38,793 --> 01:07:41,620
- [Jaron] Shit. I got a lot
going on too. That's why I need
to see you.
1090
01:07:41,620 --> 01:07:43,689
I need to break bread with my
favorite egghead.
1091
01:07:43,689 --> 01:07:45,965
- [Dick] I'm kind of on lock
down now buddy. It's
complicated.
1092
01:07:45,965 --> 01:07:48,655
Life is complicated. Hey man,
1093
01:07:48,655 --> 01:07:50,896
have you read the trades
lately? Do you have any idea
1094
01:07:50,896 --> 01:07:53,068
what's going on in this
industry that you are a part
of?
1095
01:07:53,068 --> 01:07:54,862
If not, let me explain it to
you Dick.
1096
01:07:54,862 --> 01:07:58,482
As of a few days ago, I'm
officially president of the
network.
1097
01:07:58,482 --> 01:08:00,758
- [Dick] Hey Congratulations!
Good for you.
1098
01:08:00,758 --> 01:08:03,620
- [Jaron] Yes, yes, and now I'm
on the phone with you.
1099
01:08:03,620 --> 01:08:05,620
Should I be flattered?
1100
01:08:05,620 --> 01:08:07,586
Yes, mother fucker, you should
be flattered.
1101
01:08:07,586 --> 01:08:08,793
In fact you should be on an
airplane heading to Los Angeles
1102
01:08:08,793 --> 01:08:10,655
to come sit down with me.
1103
01:08:10,655 --> 01:08:12,689
- [Dick] Oh boy that sounds
tempting.
1104
01:08:12,689 --> 01:08:14,724
- [Jaron] Good I'm sending you
a ticket.
1105
01:08:14,724 --> 01:08:16,724
- [Dick] Oh no, now you can't,
cause my mailbox got wiped out
in a twister
1106
01:08:16,724 --> 01:08:18,206
- [Jaron] An e-ticket stupid.
1107
01:08:18,206 --> 01:08:20,275
- [Dick] What do you want to
see me for? That bridge is
burned.
1108
01:08:20,275 --> 01:08:22,310
- [Jaron] The bridge is mine
now, I'm the one who says
1109
01:08:22,310 --> 01:08:23,655
if it's it burnt or not. Okay?
1110
01:08:23,655 --> 01:08:25,241
Right now I say the bridge is
not burned.
1111
01:08:25,241 --> 01:08:28,793
What don't you understand about
me being president?
1112
01:08:28,793 --> 01:08:31,724
So come on man, stop playing
around. You owe me a one on one.
1113
01:08:31,724 --> 01:08:33,724
I need to see your face.
1114
01:08:33,724 --> 01:08:35,896
- [Dick] Then Skype me and
we'll have a little
conversation over Skype.
1115
01:08:35,896 --> 01:08:38,862
- [Jaron] Hey, hey, don't nobody
use Skype no more.
1116
01:08:38,862 --> 01:08:41,586
Why do you got to be so
obstinate from Jump Street,
Dick?
1117
01:08:41,586 --> 01:08:43,827
- [Dick] I'm not being
obstinate.
1118
01:08:43,827 --> 01:08:46,000
- No, no, see this right here,
this behavior right here
1119
01:08:46,000 --> 01:08:49,206
is why people passionately
don't like you.
1120
01:08:49,206 --> 01:08:52,448
okay, why people like me have
to fight for dumb asses like
you.
1121
01:08:52,448 --> 01:08:53,931
- [Dick] But I didn't ask you
to fight for me.
1122
01:08:53,931 --> 01:08:57,000
- Shhh. Stop it. Okay.
1123
01:08:57,000 --> 01:08:59,620
Cause you wouldn't know what is
good for you if it was blowing
you.
1124
01:08:59,620 --> 01:09:02,310
I do. I know what's good for
you.
1125
01:09:02,310 --> 01:09:04,793
This is what love feels like.
1126
01:09:04,793 --> 01:09:07,689
Bring your ass down to L.A.
1127
01:09:07,689 --> 01:09:09,931
- [Dick] Listen,
congratulations on the
promotion.
1128
01:09:09,931 --> 01:09:11,655
- Thank you.
1129
01:09:11,655 --> 01:09:13,827
And here's my advice, when
they push you out of the window
1130
01:09:13,827 --> 01:09:15,793
which they're going to do.
1131
01:09:15,793 --> 01:09:16,793
Try to aim for the bodies of
your predecessors,
1132
01:09:16,793 --> 01:09:19,620
that'll soften the blow.
1133
01:09:19,620 --> 01:09:23,379
- I'll keep that in mind. Now
my advice to you.
1134
01:09:23,379 --> 01:09:25,965
When your friend who also
happens to be the President
1135
01:09:25,965 --> 01:09:31,034
of a network tells you that
this is your last chance
1136
01:09:31,034 --> 01:09:34,137
he's not fucking around.
1137
01:09:34,137 --> 01:09:38,793
I will see you Thursday at
eleven a.m.
1138
01:09:38,793 --> 01:10:03,344
[guitar music]
1139
01:10:03,344 --> 01:10:05,206
♪ Everybody wants their cigarettes
1140
01:10:05,206 --> 01:10:07,724
♪ everybody lies and everyone
1141
01:10:07,724 --> 01:10:09,655
♪ gets in front of me
1142
01:10:09,655 --> 01:10:21,689
♪ in front of me
1143
01:10:21,689 --> 01:10:25,206
- Dick.
- Lenny.
1144
01:10:25,206 --> 01:10:29,068
I think we should probably talk
about yesterday
1145
01:10:29,068 --> 01:10:34,758
Can I just, for a real quick...
1146
01:10:34,758 --> 01:10:39,344
...about yesterday and the kiss.
The attempted kiss.
1147
01:10:39,344 --> 01:10:42,241
It was all my fault.
1148
01:10:42,241 --> 01:10:47,137
It was a compulsiveness and
or impulsiveness on my part
1149
01:10:47,137 --> 01:10:50,206
and we're not even that. It was
an attraction, in the moment.
1150
01:10:50,206 --> 01:10:51,931
I was feeling an attraction
towards you
1151
01:10:51,931 --> 01:10:55,931
but I shouldn't have
1152
01:10:55,931 --> 01:11:02,034
I shouldn't have done that.
1153
01:11:02,034 --> 01:11:03,827
I never had to apologize
1154
01:11:03,827 --> 01:11:08,965
for trying to kiss somebody
before so it's a little weird.
1155
01:11:08,965 --> 01:11:10,931
- [Lenny] Weird?
- [Dick] It's not about the
kiss though
1156
01:11:10,931 --> 01:11:17,000
I mean it is, and I'm sorry I
don't want to take away from
that
1157
01:11:17,000 --> 01:11:19,965
I have been giving this a lot
of thought and what I've come
up with is
1158
01:11:19,965 --> 01:11:25,068
I'm having legitimate feelings
for you
1159
01:11:25,068 --> 01:11:28,655
- [Lenny] Legitimate feelings?
1160
01:11:28,655 --> 01:11:32,413
- [Dick] Romantic, love
feelings.
1161
01:11:32,413 --> 01:11:36,413
- [Lenny] No.
- [Dick] No, no, you got to
hear me out.
1162
01:11:36,413 --> 01:11:38,413
Please Lenny
1163
01:11:38,413 --> 01:11:40,827
- [Lenny] No, Dick, this is
bull shit.
1164
01:11:40,827 --> 01:11:42,965
- No its not bullshit.
1165
01:11:42,965 --> 01:11:44,724
- Oh yeah, it is, it's bull
shit. I don't need to hear it.
1166
01:11:44,724 --> 01:11:53,241
[door slams]
1167
01:11:53,241 --> 01:11:57,896
What makes you think you have
legitimate love feelings?
1168
01:11:57,896 --> 01:12:01,517
Everything. You.
1169
01:12:01,517 --> 01:12:05,137
We're in all girl gangster rap
band
1170
01:12:05,137 --> 01:12:11,517
and so many things. You like my
hat.
1171
01:12:11,517 --> 01:12:13,620
Your son is super cool.
Stewart. And he's always saying
asshole.
1172
01:12:13,620 --> 01:12:16,931
and I think that's funny. And I
really, I like your food.
1173
01:12:16,931 --> 01:12:20,827
And I love the way that you
tell stories and Lenny I think
1174
01:12:20,827 --> 01:12:22,206
that you and I are are funny
and sad in the same way.
1175
01:12:22,206 --> 01:12:27,551
- [Lenny] Okay.
[door slams]
1176
01:12:27,551 --> 01:12:30,344
What's your problem?
Which one?
1177
01:12:30,344 --> 01:12:33,241
No jokes asshole. I'm trying to
raise a kid here,
1178
01:12:33,241 --> 01:12:35,482
I'm trying to keep a business
afloat.
1179
01:12:35,482 --> 01:12:38,655
You think you're going to knock
on my door
1180
01:12:38,655 --> 01:12:43,862
and sweep me off my feet.
Because I said I liked your hat?
1181
01:12:43,862 --> 01:12:45,482
Or am I just some twitchy
blonde that is going
1182
01:12:45,482 --> 01:12:48,241
to jump into your arms because
after three days
1183
01:12:48,241 --> 01:12:52,137
you think you have romantic
love feelings.
1184
01:12:52,137 --> 01:12:57,965
Your wife just left you. Grow
the fuck up Romans.
1185
01:12:57,965 --> 01:13:00,172
I don't need this particularly
headache in my life right now.
1186
01:13:00,172 --> 01:13:04,206
You're not going to complete
me.
1187
01:13:04,206 --> 01:13:06,793
[door slams]
1188
01:13:06,793 --> 01:13:13,344
Oh god.
1189
01:13:13,344 --> 01:13:35,034
[door shuts]
[exhales]
1190
01:13:35,034 --> 01:13:38,137
It's fine.. it's fine.
1191
01:13:38,137 --> 01:13:46,827
[engine starts]
1192
01:13:46,827 --> 01:13:59,758
[guitar music]
1193
01:13:59,758 --> 01:14:04,482
♪ I'm going to hell
1194
01:14:04,482 --> 01:14:10,000
♪ There's nothing to do
1195
01:14:10,000 --> 01:14:15,103
♪ So I'm going to say my
prayers ♪
1196
01:14:15,103 --> 01:14:20,172
♪ and drink my liquor too
1197
01:14:20,172 --> 01:14:25,310
♪ I feel all inept
1198
01:14:25,310 --> 01:14:30,413
♪ I'll be the one in white
1199
01:14:30,413 --> 01:14:36,034
♪ grinning like a fool
1200
01:14:36,034 --> 01:14:41,137
♪ and to see my wife
1201
01:14:41,137 --> 01:14:46,103
♪ that I held your heart
1202
01:14:46,103 --> 01:14:51,586
♪ I thought I knew you well
1203
01:14:51,586 --> 01:15:00,931
[barking]
1204
01:15:00,931 --> 01:15:03,620
I love you
1205
01:15:03,620 --> 01:15:06,655
I love you too
1206
01:15:06,655 --> 01:15:14,137
Thank you
1207
01:15:14,137 --> 01:15:15,965
[ticking]
1208
01:15:15,965 --> 01:15:18,689
- [Dick] That's a great painting
1209
01:15:18,689 --> 01:15:22,862
- There's a crazy story behind that painting. p- Oh yeah?
1210
01:15:22,862 --> 01:15:31,068
[fast tense music]
1211
01:15:31,068 --> 01:15:33,206
- [Mick] What?
- [Dick] Are you going to tell
me the story?
1212
01:15:33,206 --> 01:15:34,655
- Do you want to hear it? - Ok.
1213
01:15:34,655 --> 01:15:38,000
- I was in Costa Rica and I was
on a bus that broke down
1214
01:15:38,000 --> 01:15:40,034
right outside of [speaks
Spanish]
1215
01:15:40,034 --> 01:15:42,862
so this chick, she wanders off
the bus
1216
01:15:42,862 --> 01:15:45,448
I think to get some fresh air,
stretch her legs.
1217
01:15:45,448 --> 01:15:47,724
She steps right into a fox
trap.
1218
01:15:47,724 --> 01:15:51,758
You know your brother, man, I
just go into hero mode.
1219
01:15:51,758 --> 01:15:53,758
I didn't do anything medical or
that great
1220
01:15:53,758 --> 01:15:56,551
I just fashioned her a
tourniquet from some cocoa bolo
branches.
1221
01:15:56,551 --> 01:15:59,344
Sprinkled water on her lips,
- [Dick] Kept her hydrated.
1222
01:15:59,344 --> 01:16:01,965
- [Mick] I let her use my ipod
1223
01:16:01,965 --> 01:16:03,413
Because I think that music has
a really calming soothing
effect
1224
01:16:03,413 --> 01:16:04,793
on people. There were tracks
that I were working on
1225
01:16:04,793 --> 01:16:07,000
they weren't mastered so I was a first a little..
1226
01:16:07,000 --> 01:16:09,034
She didn't seem to mind too
much.
1227
01:16:09,034 --> 01:16:11,275
She was screaming pretty loud.
I don't even know if she heard
the music.
1228
01:16:11,275 --> 01:16:14,068
After she got out of the
hospital, she invited me to
stay with her.
1229
01:16:14,068 --> 01:16:17,586
Which was super cool you know,
she had this rad little place
on the beach
1230
01:16:17,586 --> 01:16:18,896
You would have really dug it.
We just lived, man and hung out.
1231
01:16:18,896 --> 01:16:23,275
And I made music.
1232
01:16:23,275 --> 01:16:27,310
And she painted, we laughed,
and we made love every day.
1233
01:16:27,310 --> 01:16:30,620
Mostly in the mouth because I
couldn't stand to look at her
1234
01:16:30,620 --> 01:16:31,862
from the waist down because it
was really tough
1235
01:16:31,862 --> 01:16:33,000
her leg was so disgusting.
1236
01:16:33,000 --> 01:16:34,275
To me, it's life
1237
01:16:34,275 --> 01:16:37,034
It's sort of wobbly and
unpredictable
1238
01:16:37,034 --> 01:16:38,931
but you have to embrace it.
1239
01:16:38,931 --> 01:16:40,724
Before I spilt I stole that
painting.
1240
01:16:40,724 --> 01:16:43,137
[Dick grunts]
1241
01:16:43,137 --> 01:16:46,620
So was next for you? Didn't you
have this sort of deal going
down
1242
01:16:46,620 --> 01:16:49,310
- [Dick] At the network maybe,
who cares, it's probably just a
run around, it doesn't matter.
1243
01:16:49,310 --> 01:16:52,862
- [Mick] No it does, you have
to stay positive with this kind
of thing.
1244
01:16:52,862 --> 01:16:55,896
- [Dick] Do you have to really?
Staying positive can help you?
1245
01:16:55,896 --> 01:16:58,068
- I think it would be great,
you know change of scenery for
you,
1246
01:16:58,068 --> 01:17:00,482
come out to L.A., kind of boost
your energy a little bit.
1247
01:17:00,482 --> 01:17:02,068
LA is great for that what
would be cool
1248
01:17:02,068 --> 01:17:04,896
is you'd be here for the birth
too
1249
01:17:04,896 --> 01:17:06,689
- [Dick] Birth? Of what?
1250
01:17:06,689 --> 01:17:12,793
- [Mick] Baby's due in early
September.
1251
01:17:12,793 --> 01:17:17,034
- [Dick] What are... I'm just
not sure what the fuck you're
talking about man.
1252
01:17:17,034 --> 01:17:18,103
- [Mick] Lydia is pregnant.
1253
01:17:18,103 --> 01:17:19,965
- [Dick] Oh.
1254
01:17:19,965 --> 01:17:21,965
Who's Lydia?
1255
01:17:21,965 --> 01:17:24,689
[Mick] Lydia is my lady.
1256
01:17:24,689 --> 01:17:26,379
And she's pregnant with your
baby. That's what you tell me
right now,
1257
01:17:26,379 --> 01:17:28,862
that you're going to have a
baby in a couple months.
1258
01:17:28,862 --> 01:17:33,379
That's it. This is the first
time I'm hearing about this
Mick.
1259
01:17:33,379 --> 01:17:35,482
- [Mick] I thought I told you.
1260
01:17:35,482 --> 01:17:36,655
- [Dick] Dude!
1261
01:17:36,655 --> 01:17:40,517
Come here, really?
1262
01:17:40,517 --> 01:17:41,827
- [Mick] Yeah. Surprised you.
1263
01:17:41,827 --> 01:17:46,655
- [Dick] It's beautiful man,
it's beautiful.
1264
01:17:46,655 --> 01:17:48,103
And crazy and funny.
1265
01:17:48,103 --> 01:17:52,655
And sad.
1266
01:17:52,655 --> 01:17:54,620
- [Mick] Why sad?
1267
01:17:54,620 --> 01:17:56,793
I don't know. I don't even know
why I said it.
1268
01:17:56,793 --> 01:18:00,517
I really don't
1269
01:18:00,517 --> 01:18:02,275
- [Mick] cause I know what you
mean.
1270
01:18:02,275 --> 01:18:05,000
- [Dick] It's weird right?
1271
01:18:05,000 --> 01:18:09,896
It is a little sad.
1272
01:18:09,896 --> 01:18:18,379
[electronic music]
1273
01:18:18,379 --> 01:18:22,413
- [Dick] You know what have
been really sweet is if I was
1274
01:18:22,413 --> 01:18:24,689
good enough husband to get one
of those mugs
1275
01:18:24,689 --> 01:18:28,241
that says world's greatest
husband.
1276
01:18:28,241 --> 01:18:30,172
- [Mick] I got seven Grammys.
1277
01:18:30,172 --> 01:18:33,655
- [Dick] Seven Grammys?
- [Mick] So what.
1278
01:18:33,655 --> 01:18:37,551
- [Dick] So what?
1279
01:18:37,551 --> 01:18:43,172
- [Mick] I tell you so what, it
feels great.
1280
01:18:43,172 --> 01:18:45,310
- [Dick] It's not about the
mugs,
1281
01:18:45,310 --> 01:18:46,931
I don't care about the mugs.
1282
01:18:46,931 --> 01:18:50,034
I'm lost. I'm stuck.
1283
01:18:50,034 --> 01:18:55,137
- [Mick] I'm like in a maze.
1284
01:18:55,137 --> 01:18:58,344
I was in Glastonbury for a
little
1285
01:18:58,344 --> 01:19:01,103
it was a little festival,
there's was I party I wound up
at
1286
01:19:01,103 --> 01:19:04,551
over at Annie Lennox's castle,
and she has this hedge maze.
1287
01:19:04,551 --> 01:19:06,482
It's one of these traditional
old fashioned
1288
01:19:06,482 --> 01:19:09,482
it was real, there I was in the
middle of this hedge maze
1289
01:19:09,482 --> 01:19:12,103
and I'm not doing too well.
1290
01:19:12,103 --> 01:19:14,310
I kind of stop, and I plant
myself
1291
01:19:14,310 --> 01:19:15,448
because I don't want get any
further in.
1292
01:19:15,448 --> 01:19:17,793
Anyway, here comes Annie Lennox
1293
01:19:17,793 --> 01:19:21,965
and she grabs my hand and looks
me directly in the eyes
1294
01:19:21,965 --> 01:19:23,793
she said put your hand on the
maze wall
1295
01:19:23,793 --> 01:19:27,965
and you leave it there.
1296
01:19:27,965 --> 01:19:30,172
As long as you have your hand
on the wall and keep moving,
1297
01:19:30,172 --> 01:19:35,172
you'll find your way out.
1298
01:19:35,172 --> 01:19:37,379
Oh man. It was amazing.
1299
01:19:37,379 --> 01:19:41,310
- [Dick] So you made it out of
the maze?
1300
01:19:41,310 --> 01:19:45,896
- [Mick] No, I don't believe I
did.
1301
01:19:45,896 --> 01:19:48,689
[sigh]
1302
01:19:48,689 --> 01:20:03,655
- [Dick] I think it might be
time for bed.
1303
01:20:03,655 --> 01:20:05,724
[ding]
1304
01:20:05,724 --> 01:20:08,862
- [Dick] Look they might be
using Jaron to lure me down
here so they can
1305
01:20:08,862 --> 01:20:11,689
take turns throwing cinder
blocks at me. If things get
ugly
1306
01:20:11,689 --> 01:20:17,551
I want you to start kicking
some throats.
1307
01:20:17,551 --> 01:20:25,517
Oh oof.
1308
01:20:25,517 --> 01:20:33,896
[faint rock music]
1309
01:20:33,896 --> 01:20:38,137
By chance do you have one of
those mini scissors, the travel
size?
1310
01:20:38,137 --> 01:20:44,344
I don't want to pull this.
Lose a button.
1311
01:20:44,344 --> 01:20:50,482
No?
1312
01:20:50,482 --> 01:21:05,517
[spits]
1313
01:21:05,517 --> 01:21:09,448
Gentleman, Mr. Young is ready
for you.
1314
01:21:09,448 --> 01:21:11,551
- [Jaron] Where is he? There's
my..
1315
01:21:11,551 --> 01:21:14,000
What the hell?
- [Dick] I know.
1316
01:21:14,000 --> 01:21:16,000
- what you Robo Cop, you Steve
Austin?
1317
01:21:16,000 --> 01:21:19,724
You got like a fake eye and
shit. What happened to you?
1318
01:21:19,724 --> 01:21:21,586
- [Dick] You think that's bad
you should have seen the bear I
strangled.
1319
01:21:21,586 --> 01:21:24,448
- [Jaron] In the mountains?
- [Dick] Yeah big old black
bear.
1320
01:21:24,448 --> 01:21:26,206
- Oh you said it was a black
bear. You stupid...
1321
01:21:26,206 --> 01:21:29,000
You're strangling gummy bears.
1322
01:21:29,000 --> 01:21:32,862
You got a belly and shit.
Alright you guys, Harvard,
Columbia, Wharton,
1323
01:21:32,862 --> 01:21:35,068
Columbia, Wharton,
1324
01:21:35,068 --> 01:21:39,068
meet Dick Romans and his man,
Neil something.
1325
01:21:39,068 --> 01:21:40,862
- [Caroline] It's Caroline.
-
1326
01:21:40,862 --> 01:21:43,655
- Nice to meet you.
- Really great to meet you.
1327
01:21:43,655 --> 01:21:45,103
- Oh, okay
1328
01:21:45,103 --> 01:21:46,931
- [Jaron] Well listen man, this
is what happens when you're good
1329
01:21:46,931 --> 01:21:48,793
when you stay in Los Angeles,
you could keep your head out of
your ass,
1330
01:21:48,793 --> 01:21:51,275
and frankly
1331
01:21:51,275 --> 01:21:55,000
don't set shit on fire.
[laughing]
1332
01:21:55,000 --> 01:21:59,137
- [Dick] Well let me be the
first one to say that the chair
fits you.
1333
01:21:59,137 --> 01:22:01,344
- [Jaron]Yeah?
- [Dick] Yeah.
1334
01:22:01,344 --> 01:22:03,275
- [Jaron] Thank you brother
- [Dick] Congratulations
1335
01:22:03,275 --> 01:22:09,034
I only have one question.
1336
01:22:09,034 --> 01:22:11,517
And that is what the fuck am I
doing here?
1337
01:22:11,517 --> 01:22:14,827
[laughing]
This brings back bad memories.
1338
01:22:14,827 --> 01:22:20,137
[laughing]
1339
01:22:20,137 --> 01:22:25,310
I got your show. We've got your
show.
1340
01:22:25,310 --> 01:22:28,172
We've got your shit. It's huge.
1341
01:22:28,172 --> 01:22:30,034
This is the show that your
momma popped you out of the
belly for.
1342
01:22:30,034 --> 01:22:33,000
You're home.
1343
01:22:33,000 --> 01:22:37,137
And your safe. Your boy's
president.
1344
01:22:37,137 --> 01:22:38,862
Can I get my pitch on.
1345
01:22:38,862 --> 01:22:40,862
- [Dick] Sure.
1346
01:22:40,862 --> 01:22:44,206
You remember we used to talk
about the info-tainment shows
of the seventies?
1347
01:22:44,206 --> 01:22:46,931
Real People, That's Incredible,
even 60 Minutes right?
1348
01:22:46,931 --> 01:22:50,344
You know they interviewed
people on a quest to find a
real America.
1349
01:22:50,344 --> 01:22:55,724
On our show, our quest is to
find the real Dick Romans.
1350
01:22:55,724 --> 01:22:57,344
Okay?
1351
01:22:57,344 --> 01:23:00,310
It's all about you.
1352
01:23:00,310 --> 01:23:02,827
Alright this is your chance to
shout from the rooftop, push
the envelope, show the world
1353
01:23:02,827 --> 01:23:05,137
who you truly are, show them
the things that you like...
1354
01:23:05,137 --> 01:23:08,724
[inspirational music]
1355
01:23:08,724 --> 01:23:11,724
- [Neil] What is that?
- [Dick] What?
- [Neil] The look on your face?
1356
01:23:11,724 --> 01:23:13,965
What is that?
- [Dick] I'm thinking. It's a
lot to process.
1357
01:23:13,965 --> 01:23:16,758
- [Neil] Yeah well process
saying yes, because that happens
only one in million
1358
01:23:16,758 --> 01:23:19,724
this is a new beginning for you
Dickie, you need this.
1359
01:23:19,724 --> 01:23:21,758
- [Dick] Yeah, how do you know
it's not a dead end?
1360
01:23:21,758 --> 01:23:24,000
- [Neil] It's not a dead end. We
got a lot of work to do,
1361
01:23:24,000 --> 01:23:27,206
I got to get you complete
control. I'm going to send a
lot of emails right now,
1362
01:23:27,206 --> 01:23:31,034
have her start draft up the
paperwork. This is really
exciting stuff Dickie.
1363
01:23:31,034 --> 01:23:34,620
- [Dick] What's the matter with
me?
1364
01:23:34,620 --> 01:23:36,206
Why I am here?
1365
01:23:36,206 --> 01:23:41,448
- [Neil] Why are you here?
You're starting over.
1366
01:23:41,448 --> 01:23:46,034
- [Dick] I don't want to start
over.
1367
01:23:46,034 --> 01:23:47,793
Is Claire in Los Angeles?
1368
01:23:47,793 --> 01:23:50,344
- [Neil] Yeah but she's not
going to talk to you.
1369
01:23:50,344 --> 01:23:51,241
I don't need her to talk to me.
1370
01:23:51,241 --> 01:23:53,103
I just want her to sit down.
1371
01:23:53,103 --> 01:23:58,310
Could you do that for me?
1372
01:23:58,310 --> 01:24:04,448
- [Neil] I can try.
1373
01:24:04,448 --> 01:24:12,034
Yeah.
1374
01:24:12,034 --> 01:24:24,620
[Dick] Let's go this way.
1375
01:24:24,620 --> 01:24:34,379
[gentle music]
1376
01:24:34,379 --> 01:24:49,551
[waves gently crashing]
1377
01:24:49,551 --> 01:24:57,724
[silverware clattering]
[seagulls calling]
1378
01:24:57,724 --> 01:25:10,206
[footsteps]
1379
01:25:10,206 --> 01:25:22,793
[clears throat]
1380
01:25:22,793 --> 01:25:50,931
[Claire] Okay, can I go now?
1381
01:25:50,931 --> 01:26:04,482
Okay, let's do it.
1382
01:26:04,482 --> 01:26:11,724
[rustling]
1383
01:26:11,724 --> 01:26:29,448
- [Dick] What's today?
- [Claire] Fourteenth.
1384
01:26:29,448 --> 01:26:43,344
- [Dick] Happy anniversary.
1385
01:26:43,344 --> 01:26:52,137
I'm sorry. I'm really sorry.
1386
01:26:52,137 --> 01:26:54,655
I loved you with everything
that I had
1387
01:26:54,655 --> 01:27:23,655
and I'm just starting to
understand that I didn't have
very much.
1388
01:27:23,655 --> 01:27:38,586
[guitar music]
1389
01:27:38,586 --> 01:27:44,517
♪ Keeping secrets
softly ♪
1390
01:27:44,517 --> 01:27:48,586
♪ spoken love to linger
1391
01:27:48,586 --> 01:27:51,206
[knocking]
1392
01:27:51,206 --> 01:27:54,034
♪ This is golden
1393
01:27:54,034 --> 01:27:56,724
♪ help me break this
1394
01:27:56,724 --> 01:27:59,000
- Dick?
- Lenny.
1395
01:27:59,000 --> 01:28:05,241
- Hi.
- Hi.
1396
01:28:05,241 --> 01:28:10,413
- I'm sorry for disturbing you,
I just had a really quick
question that I wanted to ask.
1397
01:28:10,413 --> 01:28:16,241
- [Lenny] Could I say something first?
- [Dick] Sure.
1398
01:28:16,241 --> 01:28:20,172
- It's just that
1399
01:28:20,172 --> 01:28:23,379
you know, last time you came by
1400
01:28:23,379 --> 01:28:26,827
I couldn't do that right then.
Okay?
1401
01:28:26,827 --> 01:28:31,827
My mind couldn't do that.
1402
01:28:31,827 --> 01:28:35,137
I just couldn't process the
idea of a romantic gesture
1403
01:28:35,137 --> 01:28:36,931
from you
1404
01:28:36,931 --> 01:28:38,586
or anybody, or nobody
1405
01:28:38,586 --> 01:28:42,724
You know what I mean?
- [Dick] I do.
1406
01:28:42,724 --> 01:28:48,931
- The idea of being kissed
1407
01:28:48,931 --> 01:28:51,034
It just felt so wrong
1408
01:28:51,034 --> 01:28:56,137
With all the unhappiness
1409
01:28:56,137 --> 01:28:57,931
death and the guilt.
1410
01:28:57,931 --> 01:28:59,931
But I turned all that, I shut
it off
1411
01:28:59,931 --> 01:29:04,206
all that stuff
1412
01:29:04,206 --> 01:29:06,275
You started fiddling with all
those knobs
1413
01:29:06,275 --> 01:29:10,344
and it really just kind of
pissed me off.
1414
01:29:10,344 --> 01:29:13,724
Does any of this make any sense?
- [Dick] Total sense.
1415
01:29:13,724 --> 01:29:17,137
Okay.
1416
01:29:17,137 --> 01:29:25,241
I've been giving it a lot of
thought.
1417
01:29:25,241 --> 01:29:31,137
I think that we could be good
friends
- [Dick] Yeah.
1418
01:29:31,137 --> 01:29:36,827
and if we're good friends then
who knows what.
- [Dick] Who knows?
1419
01:29:36,827 --> 01:29:39,931
I think you're a good man.
1420
01:29:39,931 --> 01:29:42,620
- [Dick] Thank you.
1421
01:29:42,620 --> 01:29:47,724
- [Lenny] I like you.
- [Dick] I like you too.
1422
01:29:47,724 --> 01:29:54,931
[laughing]
1423
01:29:54,931 --> 01:29:59,827
Was there something you wanted
to say?
1424
01:29:59,827 --> 01:30:03,413
- [Dick] Oh, I just joined up
with the fire patrol
1425
01:30:03,413 --> 01:30:06,241
and was just making sure that
your brush was cut back to the
legal standard
1426
01:30:06,241 --> 01:30:08,379
and you're doing fine.
- [Lenny] Thank you.
1427
01:30:08,379 --> 01:30:12,931
Carry on ma'am, your brush is...
- [Lenny] Just tell me.
1428
01:30:12,931 --> 01:30:17,068
- [Dick] No, I don't think I
can. Probably better if I don't.
1429
01:30:17,068 --> 01:30:19,586
- [Lenny] Speak.
1430
01:30:19,586 --> 01:30:22,655
- [Dick] You ever consider
selling the RV?
1431
01:30:22,655 --> 01:30:28,586
To me.
[laughing]
1432
01:30:28,586 --> 01:30:30,931
- [Lenny] It's not for sale.
- [Dick] Okay, I was just
checking.
1433
01:30:30,931 --> 01:30:34,103
Of course it's not for sale.
Ok yeah.
1434
01:30:34,103 --> 01:30:39,068
I was just checking. I know
it's weird. But thanks though.
1435
01:30:39,068 --> 01:30:42,827
We're going to be in touch in
soon right?
1436
01:30:42,827 --> 01:30:47,724
We'll go on one of our famous
wine tasting expeditions.
1437
01:30:47,724 --> 01:30:49,620
- [Lenny] Dick?
1438
01:30:49,620 --> 01:30:53,206
- [Dick] Yep?
1439
01:30:53,206 --> 01:30:56,724
You could borrow it.
1440
01:30:56,724 --> 01:30:58,172
- [Dick] I could borrow it.
1441
01:30:58,172 --> 01:31:02,000
[Lenny] Yeah.
1442
01:31:02,000 --> 01:31:27,827
[adventurous music]
1443
01:31:27,827 --> 01:31:29,103
Alright.
1444
01:31:29,103 --> 01:31:38,137
Ready to go?
1445
01:31:38,137 --> 01:31:43,827
[guitar music]
1446
01:31:43,827 --> 01:31:48,931
♪ I'm living on a chance
1447
01:31:48,931 --> 01:31:53,896
♪ The one embrace romance
1448
01:31:53,896 --> 01:31:59,689
♪ I'm standing in the sun
1449
01:31:59,689 --> 01:32:04,448
♪ Waiting for it to come
- [Dick] Ah dammit.
1450
01:32:04,448 --> 01:32:08,241
♪ I won't let go of love
1451
01:32:08,241 --> 01:32:10,586
♪ till this life
1452
01:32:10,586 --> 01:32:18,068
♪ I been dreaming of is mine
1453
01:32:18,068 --> 01:32:25,103
♪ I've dreamed it a hundred
times ♪
1454
01:32:25,103 --> 01:32:36,034
[guitar music]
1455
01:32:36,034 --> 01:32:41,413
♪ I'm sailing into the deep
1456
01:32:41,413 --> 01:32:46,068
♪ I'm holding onto the keys
1457
01:32:46,068 --> 01:32:51,172
♪ could you be around
1458
01:32:51,172 --> 01:32:54,344
♪ look what I found
1459
01:32:54,344 --> 01:32:58,689
♪ I won't let go of love
1460
01:32:58,689 --> 01:33:02,862
♪ till this life
1461
01:33:02,862 --> 01:33:07,068
♪ I been dreaming of is mine
1462
01:33:07,068 --> 01:33:31,103
♪ I've dreamed it a hundred
times ♪
1463
01:33:31,103 --> 01:33:36,137
♪ I won't let go of love
1464
01:33:36,137 --> 01:33:40,310
♪ till this life
1465
01:33:40,310 --> 01:33:44,482
♪ I been dreaming of is mine
1466
01:33:44,482 --> 01:33:50,103
♪ I've dreamed it a hundred
times ♪
1467
01:33:50,103 --> 01:33:58,344
♪ No I won't let go of love
1468
01:33:58,344 --> 01:34:03,344
♪ Till this life I've been
dreaming of is mine ♪
1469
01:34:03,344 --> 01:34:09,482
♪ I've dreamed it a hundred
times ♪
1470
01:34:09,482 --> 01:34:31,482
[upbeat music]
1471
01:34:31,482 --> 01:34:35,275
♪ I want to play with fire
1472
01:34:35,275 --> 01:34:39,379
♪ I want to get burned
1473
01:34:39,379 --> 01:34:42,827
♪ I want to make the same
mistakes♪
1474
01:34:42,827 --> 01:34:47,344
♪ I'm too old to learn
1475
01:34:47,344 --> 01:34:50,241
♪ I want a lay down with you
1476
01:34:50,241 --> 01:34:54,275
♪ I want to make you laugh
1477
01:34:54,275 --> 01:34:57,344
♪ I want to sound good to you
1478
01:34:57,344 --> 01:34:59,724
♪ I want to make you proud
1479
01:34:59,724 --> 01:35:03,965
♪ because every time you move
upon me ♪
1480
01:35:03,965 --> 01:35:07,413
♪ I can only catch my breath
1481
01:35:07,413 --> 01:35:10,103
♪ I don't care where I'm going
♪
1482
01:35:10,103 --> 01:35:26,413
♪ long as you come with
1483
01:35:26,413 --> 01:35:30,413
♪ I want to play with fire
1484
01:35:30,413 --> 01:35:34,137
♪ I want to get burned
1485
01:35:34,137 --> 01:35:37,310
♪ I want to make the same
mistakes ♪
1486
01:35:37,310 --> 01:35:41,310
♪ I'm too dumb to learn
1487
01:35:41,310 --> 01:35:44,827
♪ I want a lay down with you
1488
01:35:44,827 --> 01:35:48,551
♪ I want to make you laugh
1489
01:35:48,551 --> 01:35:51,793
♪ I want to sound good to you
1490
01:35:51,793 --> 01:35:54,206
♪ I want to make you proud
1491
01:35:54,206 --> 01:35:57,103
♪ Because everytime you move
upon me ♪
1492
01:35:57,103 --> 01:36:02,103
♪ I can only catch my breath
1493
01:36:02,103 --> 01:36:04,448
♪ And I don't care where I'm
going ♪
1494
01:36:04,448 --> 01:36:16,827
♪ As long you come with
1495
01:36:16,827 --> 01:36:20,241
♪ Every time you move upon me
1496
01:36:20,241 --> 01:36:23,689
♪ I can only catch my breath
1497
01:36:23,689 --> 01:36:26,103
♪ And I don't care where I'm
going ♪
1498
01:36:26,103 --> 01:36:31,241
♪ As long as you come with
1499
01:36:31,241 --> 01:36:34,482
♪ Every time you move upon me
1500
01:36:34,482 --> 01:36:38,379
♪ I can only catch my breath
1501
01:36:38,379 --> 01:36:40,931
♪ And I don't care where I'm
going ♪
1502
01:36:40,931 --> 01:36:43,103
♪ As long as you come with
1503
01:36:43,103 --> 01:36:45,862
♪ As long as you come with
1504
01:36:45,862 --> 01:36:49,862
♪ As long as you come with
113239
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