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Not the result he would have wanted
to sign off with,
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00:00:04,280 --> 00:00:06,536
but now it's time to celebrate
the wonderful career
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00:00:06,560 --> 00:00:10,480
of a man who has changed football
in this country for ever.
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00:00:12,280 --> 00:00:16,816
Ladies and gentlemen,
please show your appreciation
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00:00:16,840 --> 00:00:20,976
for the greatest manager
in this club's proud history.
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Our manager,
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the Gent from Genoa,
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or, as we simply know him
round these parts.
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00:00:27,360 --> 00:00:30,016
Cesare!
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00:00:30,040 --> 00:00:33,120
Nessun Dorma by Giacomo Puccini.
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00:01:08,040 --> 00:01:10,920
I want to say just one thing
to you tonight.
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To the team management,
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to the players,
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00:01:17,320 --> 00:01:19,880
and of course the fans.
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Fuck you!
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You cunts!
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Fuck you! And fuck you!
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Fuck you! And fuck you all!
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Ungrateful son of a bitch!
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You cunts!
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And you cunts! And you cunts!
And all of you cunts!
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Fuck you! And fuck this place!
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Andatevene a fanculo!
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00:02:01,880 --> 00:02:04,256
Not exactly what I was expecting.
25
00:02:04,280 --> 00:02:06,720
Maybe it means something different
in Italian.
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Aguero!
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00:02:24,640 --> 00:02:27,096
Wow. What a night!
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I mean, that was...
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That was crazy!
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See those customers crying?
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And Cesare
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I mean, what a guy.
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Still...
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00:02:37,640 --> 00:02:40,936
Never see him again, so fuck him,
am I right?
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00:02:40,960 --> 00:02:42,936
Oh, God, look at these faces.
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It's like a bunch of glummy bears.
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00:02:44,480 --> 00:02:46,296
Hey! Bozos!
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00:02:46,320 --> 00:02:48,640
The future of this club starts now.
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00:02:49,640 --> 00:02:52,896
Yes. I've already spoken with a
number of world-class managers
40
00:02:52,920 --> 00:02:54,376
about taking over.
41
00:02:54,400 --> 00:02:56,560
Oh, now I've got the attention
of the Frenchies.
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00:02:58,120 --> 00:03:00,576
Unfortunately, the majority of
them felt that
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00:03:00,600 --> 00:03:03,216
I treated Cesare so badly
by sacking him mid-season
44
00:03:03,240 --> 00:03:05,856
that they "wouldn't dream
of working here" end quote.
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00:03:05,880 --> 00:03:07,616
So, where does that leave us?
46
00:03:07,640 --> 00:03:08,936
I think it's common knowledge
47
00:03:08,960 --> 00:03:11,296
that the club finances are
suboptimal at the moment.
48
00:03:11,320 --> 00:03:14,456
So, I've decided to promote
from within.
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00:03:14,480 --> 00:03:17,176
Someone who is definitely
a cheaper option
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00:03:17,200 --> 00:03:19,440
but also may be the right one.
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00:03:20,760 --> 00:03:24,536
I am delighted to announce the new
caretaker manager of the club is
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00:03:24,560 --> 00:03:26,040
Chris Booth.
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00:03:27,920 --> 00:03:31,256
Yeah. Chris, all yours, buddy.
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Don't screw things up
or I'll sack you too.
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00:03:33,800 --> 00:03:36,416
Ha! Thanks, Mr Crane.
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00:03:36,440 --> 00:03:39,336
Mr Chairman. Yeah.
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00:03:39,360 --> 00:03:41,816
Ahhh...
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00:03:41,840 --> 00:03:44,416
Well, first and foremost, guys, I'd
just like to say
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00:03:44,440 --> 00:03:45,936
this is an honour...
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00:03:45,960 --> 00:03:47,400
Motherfuckers!
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00:03:50,720 --> 00:03:53,920
It's an honour to serve this club
as we start this next chapter.
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00:03:55,320 --> 00:03:57,256
I honestly think
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00:03:57,280 --> 00:04:01,256
that we have one of the...
Fucking Chris! Chris Booth!
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00:04:01,280 --> 00:04:04,216
Chris! We're all emotional, yeah,
about Cesare leaving.
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00:04:04,240 --> 00:04:06,496
I get it, yeah?
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00:04:06,520 --> 00:04:08,936
So I'm... I'm going to try
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00:04:08,960 --> 00:04:11,176
a few new ideas in training...
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00:04:11,200 --> 00:04:13,376
For fuck's sake! Actually, does
someone want to
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00:04:13,400 --> 00:04:14,416
go and check on Petey?
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00:04:14,440 --> 00:04:16,096
No?
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00:04:16,120 --> 00:04:18,376
No? Sure. OK, anyway... That twat!
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00:04:18,400 --> 00:04:22,480
So... Ah, the big thing is
that I've arranged
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00:04:24,040 --> 00:04:25,896
I've...
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00:04:25,920 --> 00:04:28,080
He's stopped. Right. So what
I've arranged...
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00:04:32,400 --> 00:04:35,336
Great. So, I've arranged something
a little bit special.
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00:04:35,360 --> 00:04:36,776
Yes, Pascal?
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00:04:36,800 --> 00:04:38,696
Is it some prostitutes?
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00:04:38,720 --> 00:04:39,936
No. Not that.
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00:04:39,960 --> 00:04:43,096
So, I've managed to get
a top sports psychologist
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00:04:43,120 --> 00:04:45,136
to come and work with us here,
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00:04:45,160 --> 00:04:47,296
and booked appointments for all
squad members
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00:04:47,320 --> 00:04:48,536
over the next few weeks.
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00:04:48,560 --> 00:04:50,936
Yes, Benji? Boss. Grrr! Benji...
84
00:04:50,960 --> 00:04:53,216
Yes, this goes for all of
you, actually.
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00:04:53,240 --> 00:04:57,336
Although I am "the boss"...
still Chris.
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00:04:57,360 --> 00:04:58,736
OK, then, boss.
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00:04:58,760 --> 00:05:00,336
Chris... Go on. Yeah, go on.
88
00:05:00,360 --> 00:05:01,736
Why do I have to see a shrink?
89
00:05:01,760 --> 00:05:03,816
The only thing crazy about me
is my skills!
90
00:05:03,840 --> 00:05:05,856
And the fact that you still
live with your mum.
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00:05:05,880 --> 00:05:06,960
Well...
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00:05:12,920 --> 00:05:16,056
Actually... could someone check
on Petey?
93
00:05:16,080 --> 00:05:18,240
Arggh! Chris fucking Booth!
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00:05:20,280 --> 00:05:22,376
Boothie's all right. He's soft but
he's all right.
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00:05:22,400 --> 00:05:23,816
He might even play us more.
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00:05:23,840 --> 00:05:25,976
I think we need to be careful.
The club's a shitshow.
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00:05:26,000 --> 00:05:29,016
My opinion, we're better off staying
out of the firing line for now.
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00:05:29,040 --> 00:05:31,056
What, you don't want to get
picked? Oh, sure.
99
00:05:31,080 --> 00:05:33,576
We all want to play football, mate
that's an important aspect
100
00:05:33,600 --> 00:05:35,296
of our careers. Hate to break it
to you,
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00:05:35,320 --> 00:05:38,936
but we're professional footballers. Playing
football is the only aspect of our careers.
102
00:05:38,960 --> 00:05:40,776
What about your brand?
I don't have a brand.
103
00:05:40,800 --> 00:05:42,816
Bro, everyone needs a brand
these days.
104
00:05:42,840 --> 00:05:45,296
Yours could be
the Born-Again Virgin brand.
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00:05:45,320 --> 00:05:47,776
Born-Again Virgin Airlines.
Born-Again Virgin Trains.
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00:05:47,800 --> 00:05:50,656
I'm more than a footballer, and I'm
making sure the people know that.
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00:05:50,680 --> 00:05:52,376
By sitting on the bench tweeting?
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00:05:52,400 --> 00:05:55,776
I ain't doing that. I got someone to
do it for me. Social media manager.
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00:05:55,800 --> 00:05:57,256
He's going to blow up my followers,
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00:05:57,280 --> 00:05:59,136
then we're launching
the Benji-brand goods.
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00:05:59,160 --> 00:06:01,336
"Everything for the man
who still lives with his mum."
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00:06:01,360 --> 00:06:03,776
Oh, shit. I'm late. For what?
113
00:06:03,800 --> 00:06:05,800
Pointless talk with
the psychologist.
114
00:06:07,800 --> 00:06:10,736
Now, it will be tough,
but do remember,
115
00:06:10,760 --> 00:06:13,376
you really just have to stop
the ball, OK,
116
00:06:13,400 --> 00:06:16,336
ever - and I do mean ever -
going past you.
117
00:06:16,360 --> 00:06:19,240
Yeah? Good luck.
118
00:06:21,360 --> 00:06:23,000
Jack Turner.
119
00:06:26,080 --> 00:06:29,216
Can I just say, there is nothing
more exciting for us fans
120
00:06:29,240 --> 00:06:32,936
than seeing talent from the academy
break into the first team.
121
00:06:32,960 --> 00:06:34,976
Cheers. You're a fan?
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00:06:35,000 --> 00:06:39,656
Certainly am. Now, I'll just get you
to sign this.
123
00:06:39,680 --> 00:06:40,816
Is this a test?
124
00:06:40,840 --> 00:06:42,616
It can be. Yeah.
125
00:06:42,640 --> 00:06:45,576
Make that out to Graham
and we'll see how you get on.
126
00:06:45,600 --> 00:06:47,800
That's your name.
Could be anyone's name.
127
00:06:48,880 --> 00:06:51,880
It... It is my name. Yes, yeah.
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00:06:53,400 --> 00:06:55,320
Oh...
129
00:06:56,400 --> 00:06:59,536
Oh... That's great.
Right, cheers. Is that it?
130
00:06:59,560 --> 00:07:03,256
Oh, no. Um, let's talk about the
tremendous pressure you're under.
131
00:07:03,280 --> 00:07:06,056
What? The fans here
are so close to the pitch
132
00:07:06,080 --> 00:07:08,816
you must be able to hear every
comment about your performance.
133
00:07:08,840 --> 00:07:10,576
To be fair, I can actually, yeah.
134
00:07:10,600 --> 00:07:12,856
Yeah, and as the future of
this team,
135
00:07:12,880 --> 00:07:16,216
I mean, these people's hopes and
dreams for possibly years to come
136
00:07:16,240 --> 00:07:19,376
will be resting on your shoulders.
137
00:07:19,400 --> 00:07:21,296
Yeah... How you perform
138
00:07:21,320 --> 00:07:25,216
fundamentally affects
so many people's lives.
139
00:07:25,240 --> 00:07:26,776
Can I have a glass of water, please?
140
00:07:26,800 --> 00:07:29,816
Mm. Mm.
141
00:07:29,840 --> 00:07:31,976
But it's not just their lives,
is it?
142
00:07:32,000 --> 00:07:34,336
It's the lives of people around them
as well.
143
00:07:34,360 --> 00:07:37,776
How you play on a Saturday
determines whether they go home,
144
00:07:37,800 --> 00:07:40,976
you know, happy, or whether they go
home, scream at the kids,
145
00:07:41,000 --> 00:07:43,720
throw the dinner on the floor and
kick the dog.
146
00:07:45,000 --> 00:07:46,616
It's incredible pressure.
147
00:07:46,640 --> 00:07:48,336
They kick their dogs?
148
00:07:48,360 --> 00:07:51,296
Well, if you lose, I'm sure they
do, yeah.
149
00:07:51,320 --> 00:07:53,320
In fact, I'm certain of it.
150
00:07:55,720 --> 00:07:58,016
Yeah, got the ball rolling
already, actually.
151
00:07:58,040 --> 00:08:00,696
Um, a few retweets
of interesting articles.
152
00:08:00,720 --> 00:08:03,416
Liking a few other tweets. Just to
give people an idea of the brand,
153
00:08:03,440 --> 00:08:05,376
you know, gain new followers and
so forth.
154
00:08:05,400 --> 00:08:07,576
OK. I like it. Yeah, it's coming
along nicely.
155
00:08:07,600 --> 00:08:10,696
Oh! One of the retweets actually
got 150 further retweets,
156
00:08:10,720 --> 00:08:13,696
which is good, and precisely
the plan, as discussed.
157
00:08:13,720 --> 00:08:16,640
That's the most I've ever had.
Let me see.
158
00:08:19,160 --> 00:08:20,416
Is this it?
159
00:08:20,440 --> 00:08:23,576
Cos the thing you tweeted is an
article about how the Earth is flat.
160
00:08:23,600 --> 00:08:25,456
Yes. Yeah, that's what it is.
161
00:08:25,480 --> 00:08:27,896
Yeah, controversial ideas
have a high engagement rate,
162
00:08:27,920 --> 00:08:30,336
so it's a good way to get started.
163
00:08:30,360 --> 00:08:33,376
But won't people think
that I think the Earth is flat?
164
00:08:33,400 --> 00:08:35,856
Maybe. But retweets
aren't endorsements.
165
00:08:35,880 --> 00:08:38,216
What does that mean?
Look, it's catching on.
166
00:08:38,240 --> 00:08:39,296
Already up to 200.
167
00:08:39,320 --> 00:08:41,656
But the Earth isn't flat, though, is
it? It's round.
168
00:08:41,680 --> 00:08:44,976
Why can we see the horizon,
then? Hm?
169
00:08:45,000 --> 00:08:47,880
Why doesn't it just drop away?
170
00:08:49,240 --> 00:08:50,656
Oh, 250.
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00:08:50,680 --> 00:08:52,536
250's a good number!
172
00:08:52,560 --> 00:08:54,296
Welcome to my world
173
00:08:54,320 --> 00:08:58,560
of being a top professional social
media marketing assistant executive.
174
00:09:03,640 --> 00:09:07,576
What's happening? Petey's doing a
press conference.
175
00:09:07,600 --> 00:09:10,536
Hang on... Didn't you know?
176
00:09:10,560 --> 00:09:12,056
Yes, of course I knew.
177
00:09:12,080 --> 00:09:13,976
Olivia, press conference.
178
00:09:14,000 --> 00:09:15,296
Yep.
179
00:09:15,320 --> 00:09:16,936
Maybe he's going to retire.
180
00:09:16,960 --> 00:09:19,536
Oh, God, I've never wanted
anything more.
181
00:09:19,560 --> 00:09:21,936
Hello. Thanks to everyone
for coming.
182
00:09:21,960 --> 00:09:25,200
Can all you fat twats at the back
squeeze in?
183
00:09:28,240 --> 00:09:30,576
All right, so... I'm just here
to announce
184
00:09:30,600 --> 00:09:33,176
that I am very happy with
Chris Booth
185
00:09:33,200 --> 00:09:35,736
being made caretaker manager of
this club.
186
00:09:35,760 --> 00:09:38,696
He's absolutely the right choice
as an interim manager
187
00:09:38,720 --> 00:09:41,216
and I'm backing him 120%
while he's in the job.
188
00:09:41,240 --> 00:09:43,176
I'll take a few questions.
189
00:09:43,200 --> 00:09:46,576
Yes? Petey, you're known as
the unofficial leader of the team.
190
00:09:46,600 --> 00:09:49,496
Is that going to change
now that Chris is in charge?
191
00:09:49,520 --> 00:09:52,136
People respect me and Chris
in different ways.
192
00:09:52,160 --> 00:09:54,456
They're scared of my power
and ability,
193
00:09:54,480 --> 00:09:56,616
whereas it's not as obvious
that people respect him,
194
00:09:56,640 --> 00:09:58,736
because mostly they take the piss
behind his back.
195
00:09:58,760 --> 00:10:00,176
Let me be clear, though.
196
00:10:00,200 --> 00:10:02,896
The job could have gone to either of
us, and if it had gone to me,
197
00:10:02,920 --> 00:10:04,816
as many say it should have, I have
no doubt
198
00:10:04,840 --> 00:10:07,376
that Chris would support me... as
the better player
199
00:10:07,400 --> 00:10:10,576
with a better record and more of a
footballing brain. Yes?
200
00:10:10,600 --> 00:10:14,256
Petey, how did you feel when you
heard Chris was the manager?
201
00:10:14,280 --> 00:10:15,856
Happy.
202
00:10:15,880 --> 00:10:17,536
No, seriously. Happy.
203
00:10:17,560 --> 00:10:19,536
Like, with a smile. Happy like that.
204
00:10:19,560 --> 00:10:22,016
You're shaking your head.
You think maybe I thought,
205
00:10:22,040 --> 00:10:24,656
"That's mental. I'm the clear
choice. I fucking deserve this"?
206
00:10:24,680 --> 00:10:26,736
Then chucked my phone against
the wall
207
00:10:26,760 --> 00:10:30,136
before smashing out a set of heavy
bench press, or something?
208
00:10:30,160 --> 00:10:32,256
No, mate. Happy. Yes?
209
00:10:32,280 --> 00:10:34,560
He don't seem happy.
210
00:10:37,520 --> 00:10:39,656
So, he didn't scare you, then?
211
00:10:39,680 --> 00:10:43,376
Scare me? Why would a
sports psychologist scare me?
212
00:10:43,400 --> 00:10:45,576
We spoke to them all the time in
the US.
213
00:10:45,600 --> 00:10:47,536
No, it was the standard shit about
what I want,
214
00:10:47,560 --> 00:10:48,856
how I'm going to achieve it.
215
00:10:48,880 --> 00:10:50,936
Did you have to mention
being a born-again virgin?
216
00:10:50,960 --> 00:10:52,376
I didn't, because it's not a thing.
217
00:10:52,400 --> 00:10:54,176
Shut up, Virgin van Dick.
218
00:10:54,200 --> 00:10:56,016
Oh, shit, here he comes.
219
00:10:56,040 --> 00:10:57,616
New manager's first team sheet.
220
00:10:57,640 --> 00:10:59,736
OK, sorry to keep you all
in suspense.
221
00:10:59,760 --> 00:11:01,936
We'll do the team in a moment.
222
00:11:01,960 --> 00:11:05,096
Firstly, Petey, could I just
have a quick word in private?
223
00:11:05,120 --> 00:11:07,136
No. Sorry?
224
00:11:07,160 --> 00:11:09,016
No, you can't.
225
00:11:09,040 --> 00:11:11,016
But I need to talk to you.
226
00:11:11,040 --> 00:11:13,496
No. OK. Well, then, I'll have to
tell you here...
227
00:11:13,520 --> 00:11:15,376
La-la-la-la-la-la. Not listening!
228
00:11:15,400 --> 00:11:17,536
That although I'm dropping you
for this match,
229
00:11:17,560 --> 00:11:20,016
I'm happy to bend the truth
and say that you're injured.
230
00:11:20,040 --> 00:11:22,856
You'll be injured, mate!
I'll break your fucking nose!
231
00:11:22,880 --> 00:11:25,576
Yeah, I didn't expect you
to be happy, but...
232
00:11:25,600 --> 00:11:27,400
Fuck off, you prick-face!
233
00:11:30,600 --> 00:11:32,376
I've slammed that!
234
00:11:32,400 --> 00:11:35,256
OK. Right, here's the team.
235
00:11:35,280 --> 00:11:37,336
Jack, you're in.
236
00:11:37,360 --> 00:11:40,936
And because Petey is "injured",
we're going to drop a centre back,
237
00:11:40,960 --> 00:11:42,856
switch in a right back, so
238
00:11:42,880 --> 00:11:45,336
Mattie gets his first start.
Well done, Mattie!
239
00:11:45,360 --> 00:11:47,776
Hey! Well done, boys!
240
00:11:47,800 --> 00:11:49,416
This is amazing!
241
00:11:49,440 --> 00:11:52,016
We're under tremendous pressure.
242
00:11:52,040 --> 00:11:54,856
New dawn. New manager. Cup game.
243
00:11:54,880 --> 00:11:57,656
Don't get better than this. Come on!
244
00:11:57,680 --> 00:12:00,376
I might not have been picked
but I'm having a great day too.
245
00:12:00,400 --> 00:12:02,216
Getting way more likes than before.
246
00:12:02,240 --> 00:12:04,416
Oh, well done. You've achieved
something of no value.
247
00:12:04,440 --> 00:12:05,656
You know when we play tonight,
248
00:12:05,680 --> 00:12:07,696
there's going to be loads of people
looking at us?
249
00:12:07,720 --> 00:12:09,696
That is honestly the only reason
we are playing.
250
00:12:09,720 --> 00:12:12,736
Yeah, but what will they think? Are
they going to be judging everything we do?
251
00:12:12,760 --> 00:12:15,656
Yes, of course they will. You know
that. That's what football is, mate.
252
00:12:15,680 --> 00:12:17,616
What if their dinner's
ruined, though?
253
00:12:17,640 --> 00:12:19,136
Right, get out there,
254
00:12:19,160 --> 00:12:20,560
my brilliant boys!
255
00:12:23,120 --> 00:12:25,656
Listen, I'll get Brian
to tweet a good-luck GIF.
256
00:12:25,680 --> 00:12:28,536
But also... good luck.
257
00:12:28,560 --> 00:12:30,096
Oh
258
00:12:30,120 --> 00:12:31,720
I need a piss.
259
00:12:34,000 --> 00:12:35,496
Come on, Jack. You got this.
260
00:12:35,520 --> 00:12:36,976
What if they kick the dog, boss?
261
00:12:37,000 --> 00:12:38,440
Chris. Come on!
262
00:12:43,880 --> 00:12:45,360
Wah! All right, Mattie?
263
00:12:47,600 --> 00:12:49,336
You got your boots on.
264
00:12:49,360 --> 00:12:52,016
Play shit, or I will kill you...
265
00:12:52,040 --> 00:12:55,696
But if I'm shit, we might lose.
266
00:12:55,720 --> 00:12:59,376
Play shit, or you are dead.
267
00:12:59,400 --> 00:13:03,136
And I mean dead. Not just "playing
with the Under-21s" career dead.
268
00:13:03,160 --> 00:13:05,040
Actually dead.
269
00:13:07,720 --> 00:13:09,016
But... the team...
270
00:13:09,040 --> 00:13:11,096
You're in my place.
271
00:13:11,120 --> 00:13:13,616
It's mine.
272
00:13:13,640 --> 00:13:15,296
Have a great game.
273
00:13:15,320 --> 00:13:17,520
By which I mean... a shit game.
274
00:13:36,960 --> 00:13:40,336
3-0 the final
score. Out of the cup.
275
00:13:40,360 --> 00:13:42,096
And that's an inauspicious start
276
00:13:42,120 --> 00:13:45,136
to caretaker manager
Chris Booth's reign.
277
00:13:45,160 --> 00:13:46,896
Well done. Perfect.
278
00:13:46,920 --> 00:13:48,456
Better than perfect.
279
00:13:48,480 --> 00:13:50,376
Oh... OK.
280
00:13:50,400 --> 00:13:52,856
Well, lots of positives to take
from that.
281
00:13:52,880 --> 00:13:55,576
If you ignore the fact you just lost
3-0 to a team of postmen.
282
00:13:55,600 --> 00:13:57,056
Give us a minute, Petey.
283
00:13:57,080 --> 00:13:59,416
Obviously, that wasn't the result
we were looking for,
284
00:13:59,440 --> 00:14:01,696
but I saw plenty to be encouraged
by out there.
285
00:14:01,720 --> 00:14:04,696
Was it Mattie's first or second own
goal that was most encouraging?
286
00:14:04,720 --> 00:14:06,056
Please, Petey
287
00:14:06,080 --> 00:14:07,656
Rome wasn't built in a day.
288
00:14:07,680 --> 00:14:11,136
Right? From tiny shoots grow
mighty oaks.
289
00:14:11,160 --> 00:14:13,296
Inspirational stuff.
290
00:14:13,320 --> 00:14:16,040
You can get a job at Clintons Cards
after they sack you.
291
00:14:18,920 --> 00:14:21,616
Agh...
292
00:14:21,640 --> 00:14:23,576
You OK, bud?
293
00:14:23,600 --> 00:14:25,016
I'm... so sorry.
294
00:14:25,040 --> 00:14:27,256
You put your faith in me for your
first game,
295
00:14:27,280 --> 00:14:29,296
and I completely let you down.
296
00:14:29,320 --> 00:14:31,696
Hey... So we got knocked out
of the cup
297
00:14:31,720 --> 00:14:34,176
by a team three divisions below us,
298
00:14:34,200 --> 00:14:35,816
you scored two own goals
299
00:14:35,840 --> 00:14:37,736
and I'm an embarrassment.
300
00:14:37,760 --> 00:14:40,936
Yeah, the wife won't let me near her
tonight, that's for sure!
301
00:14:40,960 --> 00:14:42,816
Dear... Sorry. No, no, no.
302
00:14:42,840 --> 00:14:45,136
No, what I'm saying is that
tonight's no different
303
00:14:45,160 --> 00:14:46,936
to any other night, really.
304
00:14:46,960 --> 00:14:48,096
Nothing's really changed.
305
00:14:48,120 --> 00:14:50,296
We lost, but you're still a
great player
306
00:14:50,320 --> 00:14:54,040
and I still sleep in the spare room,
so keep that chin up, OK?
307
00:14:55,600 --> 00:14:57,336
Well, that sucked!
308
00:14:57,360 --> 00:14:58,936
Right, listen up.
309
00:14:58,960 --> 00:15:00,336
We owe those consumers out there,
310
00:15:00,360 --> 00:15:02,416
and we are going to make it up
to them.
311
00:15:02,440 --> 00:15:06,376
I agree. They came all this way to
watch that shitshow.
312
00:15:06,400 --> 00:15:07,856
We need to apologise.
313
00:15:07,880 --> 00:15:10,256
By buying them a pint.
Yes, exactly! Like...
314
00:15:10,280 --> 00:15:11,976
Like metaphorically buying them
a pint.
315
00:15:12,000 --> 00:15:14,856
By literally buying them a
pint. In a pub.
316
00:15:14,880 --> 00:15:17,216
We're going to go to the pub
behind the west stand tomorrow
317
00:15:17,240 --> 00:15:19,816
and buy any fans that show up
a pint of beer.
318
00:15:19,840 --> 00:15:20,856
And I'm calling it.
319
00:15:20,880 --> 00:15:23,416
"Mattie Sullivan's
Pints of Sorry Night."
320
00:15:23,440 --> 00:15:24,696
Well, don't call it that.
321
00:15:24,720 --> 00:15:27,176
Well, don't score
multiple own goals, then.
322
00:15:27,200 --> 00:15:29,576
Imagine all the positive headlines
it'll generate.
323
00:15:29,600 --> 00:15:32,216
Plus, I've never been to a pub,
so it'll be kind of fun for me.
324
00:15:32,240 --> 00:15:35,096
And this is mandatory,
325
00:15:35,120 --> 00:15:37,880
so I expect every single one of
you to show up.
326
00:15:40,560 --> 00:15:43,536
Oh, that isn't a good idea
you've come up with, is it?
327
00:15:43,560 --> 00:15:46,136
It wasn't my idea.
It sounded like your idea.
328
00:15:46,160 --> 00:15:48,616
Paulo, Frankie, you're off the hook,
329
00:15:48,640 --> 00:15:51,336
cos your agent seems pretty annoyed
by the whole thing.
330
00:15:51,360 --> 00:15:53,736
And you too, Lee.
331
00:15:53,760 --> 00:15:55,376
And Jeremy, Pascal, Davide, Luiz...
332
00:15:55,400 --> 00:15:58,080
OK, hands up whose agent
has not got them out of it?
333
00:15:59,080 --> 00:16:00,936
Good. Thank you, boys.
334
00:16:00,960 --> 00:16:02,256
Knew I could count on you.
335
00:16:02,280 --> 00:16:04,360
Give me a minute. He hasn't
replied yet.
336
00:16:11,240 --> 00:16:14,400
Excuse me. Social media
marketing executive coming through!
337
00:16:15,760 --> 00:16:19,056
Well done, Benji. Better not to
play in that mess.
338
00:16:19,080 --> 00:16:21,976
Mattie, if you need some advice
dealing with your disaster,
339
00:16:22,000 --> 00:16:24,576
I've been studying
social media my whole life.
340
00:16:24,600 --> 00:16:27,736
You haven't been studying it
your whole life, have you?
341
00:16:27,760 --> 00:16:28,896
I literally have.
342
00:16:28,920 --> 00:16:30,416
You literally haven't.
343
00:16:30,440 --> 00:16:32,816
You've not been academically
researching social media
344
00:16:32,840 --> 00:16:34,456
from birth, have you?
345
00:16:34,480 --> 00:16:35,616
Yes, I have.
346
00:16:35,640 --> 00:16:39,456
And after a game like that, whatever
you do, don't go on social media.
347
00:16:39,480 --> 00:16:41,936
Don't go online at all.
Not even to order a pizza.
348
00:16:41,960 --> 00:16:44,216
Pretty sure I'll be safe to order
a pizza.
349
00:16:44,240 --> 00:16:46,496
You won't be. And that's me
saying that,
350
00:16:46,520 --> 00:16:48,976
as someone who's studied
social media my whole life.
351
00:16:49,000 --> 00:16:51,696
OK. Well, we already established
that that's not the case.
352
00:16:51,720 --> 00:16:53,056
Just block it out.
353
00:16:53,080 --> 00:16:54,976
It'll be the only thing he's blocked
all night.
354
00:16:55,000 --> 00:16:56,296
If it makes you feel any better,
355
00:16:56,320 --> 00:16:58,336
he wasn't the only one having a
stinker out there.
356
00:16:58,360 --> 00:16:59,616
Jack was shit too.
357
00:16:59,640 --> 00:17:01,616
Yeah, it's not my fault.
I could hear the crowd.
358
00:17:01,640 --> 00:17:03,936
You can always hear the crowd!
There's thousands of 'em.
359
00:17:03,960 --> 00:17:05,696
Yeah, but what about their
poor kids?
360
00:17:05,720 --> 00:17:07,416
Look, bit of professional advice.
361
00:17:07,440 --> 00:17:08,696
Gratis, yeah?
362
00:17:08,720 --> 00:17:11,736
I think you should stay off
the internet for... at least a week.
363
00:17:11,760 --> 00:17:14,496
Listen to the man. He just got me
1,000 likes on Instagram.
364
00:17:14,520 --> 00:17:16,576
Yeah? What for? A selfie?
365
00:17:16,600 --> 00:17:19,856
A link for an article about how
they spray stuff from planes.
366
00:17:19,880 --> 00:17:21,576
To stop the people from thinking.
367
00:17:21,600 --> 00:17:25,216
If anyone should be kept off
the internet, it's him.
368
00:17:25,240 --> 00:17:26,800
I'll be fine.
369
00:17:28,040 --> 00:17:31,176
"If you die in your sleep, you'll be
the first player to be commemorated"
370
00:17:31,200 --> 00:17:33,496
"with a minute's booing.
Sleep tight."
371
00:17:33,520 --> 00:17:36,616
7,000 likes for a death
threat. Really?
372
00:17:36,640 --> 00:17:39,016
Best fans in the world.
373
00:17:39,040 --> 00:17:40,816
"What a fucking useless Yank."
374
00:17:40,840 --> 00:17:44,376
"If I were you, I'd move back there
before I kick the shit out of you."
375
00:17:44,400 --> 00:17:47,336
I'm not scared of keyboard warriors.
376
00:17:47,360 --> 00:17:49,696
"You're scared of everything
else, mate."
377
00:17:49,720 --> 00:17:53,976
Come and meet me, then. You know
where the training ground is.
378
00:17:54,000 --> 00:17:57,336
"I will. I'll fucking smash you into
next week for destroying my club."
379
00:17:57,360 --> 00:17:58,496
Yeah?
380
00:17:58,520 --> 00:18:02,136
Well, don't forget your keyboard,
Keyboard Conan.
381
00:18:02,160 --> 00:18:05,096
So I can ram it up your ass.
382
00:18:05,120 --> 00:18:06,616
"Fucking homophobe."
383
00:18:06,640 --> 00:18:08,976
Nothing homophobic about it.
384
00:18:09,000 --> 00:18:11,096
Straight people have asses too.
385
00:18:11,120 --> 00:18:13,776
"And you're talking out of yours."
386
00:18:13,800 --> 00:18:16,256
You're fucking dead, man!
387
00:18:16,280 --> 00:18:18,576
"Say that without crying."
388
00:18:18,600 --> 00:18:20,200
"Or scoring an own goal."
389
00:18:25,680 --> 00:18:27,840
Went online, yeah? Yep.
390
00:18:30,200 --> 00:18:34,336
Well, I think we've still got a long
way to go but we've made a start,
391
00:18:34,360 --> 00:18:36,056
and, do you know, that's amazing,
392
00:18:36,080 --> 00:18:38,856
especially considering
the resistance we began with.
393
00:18:38,880 --> 00:18:41,936
You tell anyone I was in here and
I'll tell the club you're a nonce.
394
00:18:41,960 --> 00:18:43,416
Discretion is my middle name.
395
00:18:43,440 --> 00:18:45,296
It fucking better be!
396
00:18:45,320 --> 00:18:47,056
Well, as Petey was saying earlier...
397
00:18:47,080 --> 00:18:48,776
Petey Brooks was in here?
398
00:18:48,800 --> 00:18:52,256
Oh... Do you know,
maybe don't mention that to anyone.
399
00:18:52,280 --> 00:18:54,576
Anyway, as Petey was saying,
400
00:18:54,600 --> 00:18:56,816
you players sometimes feel a
little lost.
401
00:18:56,840 --> 00:18:59,776
I couldn't play, I just couldn't.
Yeah. You were terrible.
402
00:18:59,800 --> 00:19:01,976
I was just so worried, cos, like
you said,
403
00:19:02,000 --> 00:19:04,736
what if their dinner's ruined
just because I missed a tackle?
404
00:19:04,760 --> 00:19:07,856
Well, OK, I... maybe said something
sort of along those lines,
405
00:19:07,880 --> 00:19:09,336
probably not exactly that.
406
00:19:09,360 --> 00:19:11,296
I had your voice in my head
the whole time.
407
00:19:11,320 --> 00:19:14,616
You know "Screw this up and they're
going to go home and kick the dog."
408
00:19:14,640 --> 00:19:16,936
And I just... froze.
409
00:19:16,960 --> 00:19:18,216
OK. Er...
410
00:19:18,240 --> 00:19:19,776
Here's the thing, Jack.
411
00:19:19,800 --> 00:19:21,776
Um, I really, really like this job.
412
00:19:21,800 --> 00:19:24,696
Yeah? Yeah. And I suppose I
413
00:19:24,720 --> 00:19:27,776
just worry that if you were
to tell Chris Booth about, you know,
414
00:19:27,800 --> 00:19:31,056
what we've been talking about
and how that's affected your game
415
00:19:31,080 --> 00:19:33,576
that I might not have this job
any more.
416
00:19:33,600 --> 00:19:36,176
Yeah. Yeah. So...
417
00:19:36,200 --> 00:19:38,416
OK, what we're going to do -
number one,
418
00:19:38,440 --> 00:19:42,496
don't mention to Chris
about why your game's dropped off.
419
00:19:42,520 --> 00:19:45,376
Christ, don't write it down, Jack.
420
00:19:45,400 --> 00:19:47,416
Er, and then, number two
421
00:19:47,440 --> 00:19:50,616
maybe go to this event at
the pub later, meet the fans.
422
00:19:50,640 --> 00:19:54,576
I think you'll find that most fans
of this club, like myself,
423
00:19:54,600 --> 00:19:58,616
aren't as scary as all that and
don't think badly of you at all.
424
00:19:58,640 --> 00:20:00,416
What if they do? What if they
hate me?
425
00:20:00,440 --> 00:20:04,136
Well, consider that exposure
therapy. OK, you're welcome.
426
00:20:04,160 --> 00:20:06,080
Don't write it down!
427
00:20:12,640 --> 00:20:14,016
Folks, thanks for coming.
428
00:20:14,040 --> 00:20:15,816
As you know, some of
the main culprits
429
00:20:15,840 --> 00:20:19,416
from our horrific loss are
here tonight.
430
00:20:19,440 --> 00:20:22,216
And even though the really top
players in the club
431
00:20:22,240 --> 00:20:23,896
managed to get out of attending,
432
00:20:23,920 --> 00:20:27,496
I think you will find that these
guys are very apologetic.
433
00:20:27,520 --> 00:20:30,296
And also, I am delighted to announce
that if you attended that game,
434
00:20:30,320 --> 00:20:33,440
we will reimburse your ticket
and travelling expenses.
435
00:20:36,120 --> 00:20:38,256
Yeah, and that's
upon presentation
436
00:20:38,280 --> 00:20:40,456
and acceptance of officially
recognised receipts.
437
00:20:40,480 --> 00:20:42,176
Payments may take
up to 90 days to process.
438
00:20:42,200 --> 00:20:44,536
We reserve the right to withhold
payment for any reason.
439
00:20:44,560 --> 00:20:47,296
OK, so... let's have a lovely pinta.
440
00:20:47,320 --> 00:20:48,760
These are on me!
441
00:20:50,600 --> 00:20:53,840
Maximum two drinks per person.
No premium spirits. Huh?
442
00:20:58,080 --> 00:20:59,416
What the fuck were you thinking?
443
00:20:59,440 --> 00:21:01,016
Well, as I keep saying, I am
very sorry,
444
00:21:01,040 --> 00:21:03,616
and hopefully you're enjoying
the drink that we're buying you.
445
00:21:03,640 --> 00:21:05,976
What are you going to drink? Oh, I
don't really drink.
446
00:21:06,000 --> 00:21:07,376
Then what are you doing in a pub?
447
00:21:07,400 --> 00:21:09,576
You're meant to be having a
drink with us fans.
448
00:21:09,600 --> 00:21:11,936
OK. Sparkling water, please.
449
00:21:11,960 --> 00:21:14,336
Oh, a proper drink with the fans.
Come on.
450
00:21:14,360 --> 00:21:17,096
One pint can't make you play
any worse, can it?
451
00:21:17,120 --> 00:21:19,656
Or is it you hate us so much
452
00:21:19,680 --> 00:21:21,880
you won't even drink with us?
453
00:21:23,600 --> 00:21:25,576
OK, OK, fine.
454
00:21:25,600 --> 00:21:28,136
Er, lager, then, please. Yeah.
455
00:21:28,160 --> 00:21:29,656
It's all right, this, you know.
456
00:21:29,680 --> 00:21:32,496
I mean, it'd be better if some of
the good players were here, but
457
00:21:32,520 --> 00:21:34,616
it's a nice little touch.
Right. Sure.
458
00:21:34,640 --> 00:21:37,496
Oh, my days! Is that Petey Brooks?
459
00:21:37,520 --> 00:21:38,976
Oh, no, Petey's not coming.
460
00:21:39,000 --> 00:21:40,776
It's just us for another 47 minutes
or so.
461
00:21:40,800 --> 00:21:43,256
It is! That's fucking
Petey Brooks, mate!
462
00:21:50,680 --> 00:21:52,816
What's he doing here?
463
00:21:52,840 --> 00:21:56,016
Being a legend. Here, get that
down you.
464
00:21:56,040 --> 00:21:58,736
Oh, Mr Chairman!
May I shake your hand?
465
00:21:58,760 --> 00:22:00,240
Nah.
466
00:22:04,240 --> 00:22:07,096
You were so dozy, I couldn't believe
it. Could not believe it.
467
00:22:07,120 --> 00:22:09,416
Yeah? Sorry about that.
468
00:22:09,440 --> 00:22:11,976
What did you do after the game,
just out of interest?
469
00:22:12,000 --> 00:22:14,256
Well, I was pissed off. It was a
long journey home,
470
00:22:14,280 --> 00:22:16,736
I can tell you that. Shit,
yeah. Yeah.
471
00:22:16,760 --> 00:22:19,736
Had a few beers on the train,
got back and saw the wife.
472
00:22:19,760 --> 00:22:23,136
And hit her? What? No, course not.
473
00:22:23,160 --> 00:22:25,896
We laughed about how many years
I've been watching you lot lose,
474
00:22:25,920 --> 00:22:29,216
and then we watched Line Of Duty
and nothing seemed so bad.
475
00:22:29,240 --> 00:22:31,336
Have you got a dog? Yes.
476
00:22:31,360 --> 00:22:34,456
He's the light of my life
now the kids have gone. Here.
477
00:22:34,480 --> 00:22:37,456
Let's get a quick selfie and then
I'll leave you alone, Jack.
478
00:22:37,480 --> 00:22:39,480
Cheers.
479
00:22:41,400 --> 00:22:43,776
I think this might actually be all
right, you know.
480
00:22:43,800 --> 00:22:45,920
42 minutes to go.
481
00:22:47,880 --> 00:22:50,136
So, the story is, there's
this geezer, right,
482
00:22:50,160 --> 00:22:51,576
that was absolutely mad.
483
00:22:51,600 --> 00:22:53,720
He used to boast about giving
his brother a blow job.
484
00:22:54,920 --> 00:22:57,216
Who are you talking about?
Some bloke I used to play with.
485
00:22:57,240 --> 00:22:59,896
Who does he play for now? He's in a
mental home now. Gentlemen
486
00:22:59,920 --> 00:23:02,496
you all know Mattie Sullivan,
right? Two-goal hero.
487
00:23:02,520 --> 00:23:03,936
What are you doing here?
488
00:23:03,960 --> 00:23:06,616
I had a chat with the psychologist.
And this is my team,
489
00:23:06,640 --> 00:23:08,376
whether I'm playing or not.
490
00:23:08,400 --> 00:23:10,416
We win together and we
lose together.
491
00:23:10,440 --> 00:23:11,576
Really? Yes.
492
00:23:11,600 --> 00:23:14,016
And there's no better way
of getting the message out there,
493
00:23:14,040 --> 00:23:16,256
like actually talking face-to-face
to the fans.
494
00:23:16,280 --> 00:23:18,336
Yes, that's exactly what I think.
And my message is
495
00:23:18,360 --> 00:23:20,136
that Chris Booth is shit.
496
00:23:20,160 --> 00:23:22,976
Sorry? Mattie here is a good lad
who says he's sorry.
497
00:23:23,000 --> 00:23:26,016
And I tell you what - I think it's
not his fault. Thank you, Petey.
498
00:23:26,040 --> 00:23:28,616
It's Chris Booth's fault for
playing him. Well, I don't know...
499
00:23:28,640 --> 00:23:31,376
And he said he could down a pint
quicker than anyone.
500
00:23:31,400 --> 00:23:33,696
Do we want to see that?!
501
00:23:33,720 --> 00:23:35,576
I don't really drink, so... Come on.
502
00:23:35,600 --> 00:23:37,936
Come on, then. Jesus Christ. Fine.
503
00:23:37,960 --> 00:23:39,016
Get it down.
504
00:23:39,040 --> 00:23:42,936
Mattie! Mattie!
Mattie! Mattie! Mattie!
505
00:23:42,960 --> 00:23:45,696
I was just saying that Chris doesn't
know what he's doing,
506
00:23:45,720 --> 00:23:46,976
and Mattie agrees.
507
00:23:47,000 --> 00:23:49,256
Mattie knows he wasn't ready
for that game.
508
00:23:49,280 --> 00:23:51,776
He knows Chris is useless.
509
00:23:51,800 --> 00:23:54,416
Oh, nearly finished.
510
00:23:54,440 --> 00:23:55,736
Listen, guys, Chris is...
511
00:23:55,760 --> 00:23:57,776
Out of his depth. I agree.
No, he's...
512
00:23:57,800 --> 00:24:00,136
Going to get us relegated.
That is also possible.
513
00:24:00,160 --> 00:24:02,256
Is he really that bad, mate?
No, just let me finish.
514
00:24:02,280 --> 00:24:04,816
My playing career, if I keep getting
coached by Chris Booth
515
00:24:04,840 --> 00:24:06,616
Mattie, you're so right. Sad.
516
00:24:06,640 --> 00:24:08,896
Told you! We're fucked!
517
00:24:08,920 --> 00:24:11,120
Look, cheers for your honesty,
yeah, Matt?
518
00:24:12,920 --> 00:24:15,056
Bright boy, that one. Went to
university,
519
00:24:15,080 --> 00:24:17,536
and is a born-again virgin. Hm.
520
00:24:17,560 --> 00:24:20,056
Thanks for the support, man.
521
00:24:20,080 --> 00:24:23,416
And don't forget to follow me on
Twitter and Insta. I already do.
522
00:24:23,440 --> 00:24:25,736
Yeah, to be totally frank, I don't
really like football,
523
00:24:25,760 --> 00:24:27,736
but I heard you were here and I had
to meet you.
524
00:24:27,760 --> 00:24:29,176
We just agree on so much.
525
00:24:29,200 --> 00:24:31,416
You know, we really speak the same
language online,
526
00:24:31,440 --> 00:24:33,936
if you understand me. So, you're
just a fan of my social media,
527
00:24:33,960 --> 00:24:36,896
not even the football? Yeah.
I'd love you to look at my blog.
528
00:24:36,920 --> 00:24:38,816
We could really use someone like you
on board.
529
00:24:38,840 --> 00:24:39,976
Oh, a celebrity.
530
00:24:40,000 --> 00:24:41,656
A not-white celebrity.
531
00:24:41,680 --> 00:24:44,120
Yeah, please, check out the page.
532
00:24:49,840 --> 00:24:52,576
Huh? What the fuck is this?
533
00:24:52,600 --> 00:24:55,536
Oh, yeah. These guys. Yeah, they've
had a few problems.
534
00:24:55,560 --> 00:24:58,216
Some sort of a link between them
and white supremacy groups.
535
00:24:58,240 --> 00:25:00,736
They're fucking what? Oh, they're
not violent themselves.
536
00:25:00,760 --> 00:25:02,376
It's more of a philosophical thing.
537
00:25:02,400 --> 00:25:04,296
What the fuck? Where is that piece
of shit?
538
00:25:04,320 --> 00:25:07,256
Oh, we have a bigger issue.
What, than a Nazi in the pub?
539
00:25:07,280 --> 00:25:09,976
Oh, we call them alt-right now.
It's less offensive.
540
00:25:10,000 --> 00:25:12,736
Because you're worried
about the Nazis' feelings?
541
00:25:12,760 --> 00:25:14,536
The likes have dried up.
542
00:25:14,560 --> 00:25:18,360
A pub full of losers saying sorry -
it's not a great brand.
543
00:25:21,080 --> 00:25:23,056
You're still playing this?
544
00:25:23,080 --> 00:25:25,696
Put 300 quid in this.
It's going to pay out soon.
545
00:25:25,720 --> 00:25:28,056
Petey is stirring up shit. He's
trying to get the fans
546
00:25:28,080 --> 00:25:30,696
to turn on Chris Booth. Hey,
the fans are all right, I think.
547
00:25:30,720 --> 00:25:32,736
So, one of my fans is a
fucking Nazi.
548
00:25:32,760 --> 00:25:35,776
What? Brian's been getting me likes
for all sorts of weird stuff.
549
00:25:35,800 --> 00:25:39,216
Now this bloke thinks I'm Britain's
only black member of the alt-right.
550
00:25:39,240 --> 00:25:41,256
And you're not? Course I'm not!
551
00:25:41,280 --> 00:25:42,736
I've got over 7,000 likes this week.
552
00:25:42,760 --> 00:25:44,536
They can't all be fascists,
can they?
553
00:25:44,560 --> 00:25:46,696
Your social media is entirely
conspiracy theories
554
00:25:46,720 --> 00:25:47,976
and right-wing propaganda.
555
00:25:48,000 --> 00:25:49,696
Exactly! Something for everyone.
556
00:25:49,720 --> 00:25:51,416
Probably time to let Brian go,
isn't it?
557
00:25:51,440 --> 00:25:52,736
I'm going to have to talk to him.
558
00:25:52,760 --> 00:25:55,056
I don't think only appealing to
Nazis is a good brand.
559
00:25:55,080 --> 00:25:56,096
Worked for Hitler.
560
00:25:56,120 --> 00:25:58,256
Bro, coming to this pub
was a terrible idea of yours.
561
00:25:58,280 --> 00:26:00,696
It's been rough, yeah,
but, trust me, after last night
562
00:26:00,720 --> 00:26:02,976
I'm certain it's better to meet
the fans face-to-face.
563
00:26:03,000 --> 00:26:04,736
Then you can tell if they're Nazis
or not.
564
00:26:04,760 --> 00:26:06,816
For one. All right, lads, cheer up.
565
00:26:06,840 --> 00:26:09,616
The team's shit but at least
the chairman's buying the drinks!
566
00:26:09,640 --> 00:26:13,576
I'm joking. Thanks for coming to see
us. Takes balls.
567
00:26:13,600 --> 00:26:16,536
Well, I wanted to apologise in
person for the other night.
568
00:26:16,560 --> 00:26:18,816
Don't worry about it. Could have
happened to anyone.
569
00:26:18,840 --> 00:26:21,376
Especially on their debut.
I'd have been shitting myself.
570
00:26:21,400 --> 00:26:24,056
Ha. Thanks. See? Told you the fans
are all right.
571
00:26:24,080 --> 00:26:25,736
Mattie, what are you drinking, mate?
572
00:26:25,760 --> 00:26:27,096
Er...
573
00:26:27,120 --> 00:26:28,736
OK. Yeah. Can't hurt.
574
00:26:28,760 --> 00:26:30,296
I'll have another pint of lager.
575
00:26:30,320 --> 00:26:32,320
Lovely. Two Stella, please.
576
00:26:34,160 --> 00:26:37,216
Oh, shut up! Of course it matters
more to me than it does to you!
577
00:26:37,240 --> 00:26:40,456
I've sacrificed so much for my
career that I'm a born-again virgin.
578
00:26:40,480 --> 00:26:42,016
That's how much I fucking care!
579
00:26:42,040 --> 00:26:43,776
Yes, Stella, please, Steve.
580
00:26:43,800 --> 00:26:47,176
Yeah, but you need to understand
that we pay your wages.
581
00:26:47,200 --> 00:26:48,936
That's absolute bullshit!
582
00:26:48,960 --> 00:26:51,936
What? The club pays my wages,
not you. It's on my payslip.
583
00:26:51,960 --> 00:26:53,936
And if you mean you bought a
season ticket,
584
00:26:53,960 --> 00:26:55,856
then you need to know that
season-ticket money
585
00:26:55,880 --> 00:26:58,376
amounts to almost nothing compared
to the TV rights money.
586
00:26:58,400 --> 00:27:01,616
So, unless you own either this club
or Sky Sports,
587
00:27:01,640 --> 00:27:02,896
you don't pay my wages!
588
00:27:02,920 --> 00:27:05,136
Trouble with you -
no fucking bottle.
589
00:27:05,160 --> 00:27:07,536
Know all about the money,
nothing about the bottle.
590
00:27:07,560 --> 00:27:09,496
Right. And I suppose you do?
591
00:27:09,520 --> 00:27:13,096
Fucking right I do! Didn't bottle it
when that street lamp fell on me.
592
00:27:13,120 --> 00:27:14,376
What? What?
593
00:27:14,400 --> 00:27:16,456
Lamp in the street. Big one.
594
00:27:16,480 --> 00:27:18,096
Street lamp. Fell on me.
595
00:27:18,120 --> 00:27:19,336
Didn't bottle it.
596
00:27:19,360 --> 00:27:21,376
How can you bottle it? It's a lamp.
597
00:27:21,400 --> 00:27:24,096
The only way you could have bottled
it would be if the street lamp
598
00:27:24,120 --> 00:27:27,336
had threatened to fall on you
and you ran away.
599
00:27:27,360 --> 00:27:30,016
And if I were you, I wouldn't go
around telling people
600
00:27:30,040 --> 00:27:33,616
about the chats you've had with
various types of outdoor lighting!
601
00:27:33,640 --> 00:27:35,496
What about this, then?
602
00:27:35,520 --> 00:27:38,096
Oh, God!
603
00:27:38,120 --> 00:27:41,096
OK, everyone! It's been a
great night,
604
00:27:41,120 --> 00:27:44,376
but it is time for us to leave now -
admittedly, four minutes early.
605
00:27:44,400 --> 00:27:46,456
Come on. Wait, wait.
606
00:27:46,480 --> 00:27:49,136
The troll who kept me up all night
said he had a hole in his head.
607
00:27:49,160 --> 00:27:51,056
I... I thought it was an expression.
608
00:27:51,080 --> 00:27:53,016
I'm sure it is somewhere. Come on.
609
00:27:53,040 --> 00:27:55,296
You're the prick who's been
taunting me, aren't you?
610
00:27:55,320 --> 00:27:58,256
You're Holehead. Yeah. I am. And
what of it?
611
00:27:58,280 --> 00:28:00,936
What of it? I haven't slept for
two days.
612
00:28:00,960 --> 00:28:03,456
Well, you're a fucking baby, then!
613
00:28:03,480 --> 00:28:06,096
I stand by it. You're shit, mate.
614
00:28:06,120 --> 00:28:09,656
You would think that, cos you've got
a serious brain injury, haven't you?
615
00:28:09,680 --> 00:28:10,896
Yeah, I have.
616
00:28:10,920 --> 00:28:13,976
It wasn't a compliment, you fucking
idiot! I'm saying you're stupid!
617
00:28:14,000 --> 00:28:17,096
I said I could do you the other
night. You keep talking, and I will.
618
00:28:17,120 --> 00:28:19,456
OK, fine. Come on, then!
619
00:28:19,480 --> 00:28:21,600
Go on, Holehead!
620
00:28:23,080 --> 00:28:24,336
Mattie, what the fuck?
621
00:28:24,360 --> 00:28:26,816
Get him off me! He's got
superhuman strength!
622
00:28:26,840 --> 00:28:28,336
OK, that's enough. Pub's shut.
623
00:28:28,360 --> 00:28:30,976
No, it isn't. Stop taking
videos, please.
624
00:28:31,000 --> 00:28:34,280
Hey, come on. Pack that in now.
625
00:28:38,600 --> 00:28:41,216
Fuck's sake... Help!
626
00:28:41,240 --> 00:28:43,616
Brian, what are
you doing? Livestream.
627
00:28:43,640 --> 00:28:45,456
My mate's in trouble here.
Don't share that.
628
00:28:45,480 --> 00:28:47,856
This looks like it's going to be
your most viewed post ever.
629
00:28:47,880 --> 00:28:49,976
We're on thousands already.
630
00:28:50,000 --> 00:28:51,336
Who pays your wages, eh?
631
00:28:51,360 --> 00:28:52,736
All right. One more minute.
632
00:28:52,760 --> 00:28:54,696
I'm going to fuck you
up! Olivia!
633
00:28:54,720 --> 00:28:57,416
You don't like it, do you? Olivia!
634
00:28:57,440 --> 00:28:59,216
Olivia, this is great, right?
635
00:28:59,240 --> 00:29:02,320
We're in the entertainment business.
This is entertaining.
636
00:29:05,720 --> 00:29:08,456
Listen, yeah? He attacked a fan.
That's not on.
637
00:29:08,480 --> 00:29:10,976
But also, you've got to admire his
fighting spirit.
638
00:29:11,000 --> 00:29:13,216
This club needs more of that!
639
00:29:13,240 --> 00:29:15,016
I've had tougher fights.
640
00:29:15,040 --> 00:29:18,376
Street lamp, for one. But he's all
right, that kid. He's got bottle.
641
00:29:18,400 --> 00:29:20,336
Yeah, great night.
642
00:29:20,360 --> 00:29:22,360
Great to have Benji Achebe
as an ally.
643
00:29:22,410 --> 00:29:26,960
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