All language subtitles for OMG_Oh_My_God_(2012)

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"You dwell in my heart."

"Whether its dusk or dawn."

"Whether in light or darkness."

"You're always with me."

It was my mother's dying wish..

..to take the entire 'Bhajan Mandli'
group along with their family..

..on a trip to Badrinath.

Please do come.

Of course.

Please join us on the trip..

..and pray for my mother's soul.

Why do souls become
restless after they die?

I mean, once you're dead
it's the end of all problems.

Why become restless?

That's not it.

Suppose the deceased
has a unfulfilled wish.

Then his son will fulfil it.

You won't go on the trip.

Get that.

Her mother was in the
hospital for two years.

And he didn't even
come take a look.

He was making dollars in America.

This charade is for the world.

Not for his mother's soul.

No need to look so depressed..

..you won't get an off.

Get that.

Just one idol left!

By the way,
where's the trip headed?

I can't believe
you're coming with us.

The children are so happy.

She thinks I'm going
for beholding the Lord.

"Krishna; Krishna; Hare; Hare."

"Hare Rama; Hare Krishna"

"Krishna; Krishna; Hare; Hare."

Where is he?

A dozen of pot-bellied Ganesh idols.

What!

And those 250 a peice Krishnas.

Eight of those brawny Hanumans.

What are you saying?
- And five of those 'Sherawali'.

The lady sitting on the tiger.

What's the total?

Three dozen, sir.
- Three dozen, right!

Then, three Sai Babas bonus.
- What?

They are in a big demand.

Send it to the white
Volvo parked there. - Okay.

Great, wine shop.

"Hare Rama; Hare Krishna."

What did you give him?

Give me too.

Funny people, they're distributing
alcohol like holy water.

What's that?

What should l say?

Water of Ganges.
- Yes, yes.

Oh, give me some.

Why is it so bitter?

Because the Ganges is polluted.

Oh!
- Yes.

"Hare Rama; Hare Krishna."

"Krishna;
Krishna; Hare; Hare." - Mother.

"Hare Rama; Hare Krishna."

"Krishna; Krishna; Hare; Hare."

Apologise. They were fasting.

Hello.
- We were fasting.

And you gave us alcohol.

Alcohol is permitted in fasts.

It's made from sugarcane.

It fills you with energy,
and makes you lightheaded.

Rascal. Keep the phone down.
- You'll never learn.

Abusing in the month
of 'Shravan' (pious month).

See. Truth sounds
bitter than liquor.

There's a limit to cracking jokes.

Papa, please.

What you did yesterday,
is a sin in mummy's view.

And mummy's fasting
today to repent for it.

I want to know.

How can she repent
for my sins by fasting?

Sushila, it's like
your phone's on charging..

..and my battery's getting charged.

Like wi-fi?

Chintu, careful.

Papa.

Get down.

Papa, we're practising.

Today's 'Janmastami'.

You've your exams tomorrow.

Who will write that?

Get down!

Why do you always stop
for religious things?

He'll be absolutely fine.

My son's playing Govinda.

My son won't become
Govinda or Chunkey Pandey.

He'll grow up to
become a cricketer.

Get down. Get down.

Put me down.

Mahadev.
- Coming.

Let's go.
- Come soon.

Listen. Remove the
tag of Rs.250 from..

..all the new idols that we bought

Just watch how l sell
them for 10-12 thousand.

And keep one idol
from each on display.

Understand?
- Yes.

Come on.

One and only one
piece in the world.

This idol appeared
from the ground..

..when the temple at
Badrinath was being built.

What are you saying?

A great sage from Dwarka
set out for a journey on foot..

..and that afternoon
the sun was really scorching..

..I gave him a jug
of water to drink.

He was so pleased.

And gave me this idol.

And this idol turned
my luck around.

I bought this, once a rented shop..

..and a three room
house in Bhooleshwar.

With terrace.

Amazing!

Mr. Kanji, sell this idol to me.

I am in big trouble.

I'll rot in hell if I
even think of selling my Lord.

Sell the Lord?
Look at what he's saying.

Mischievous... Lord.

Listen carefully.

You can hear His flute.

It's time for him
to play His flute.

What are you saying?
- Try to hear with devotion.

Listen. you can hear
the echo of Gokul.

Heard it?

Can you hear?
- Yes, yes.

Now leave.
- Sell this idol to me.

Please, Mr. Kanji.

I'll let this idol
out of my sight..

..only when that
special person arrives.

The chosen one.

Who is that?

The sage had said that
"A great devotee of Sai..

"..from Rajasthan
will come for His Idol".

That's amazing.
- What?

That's me.
- No, no.

Look, there's my car.

RJ, Rajasthan.

And it also has
an 'Om Sai' sticker.

That's true.

What did you say your name was?

Bhanwar Lal.
- Bhanwar Lal?

Mahadev...it's him?

Who?
- It's him?

What happened? - The sage
had written your name himself.

Look.

Bhanwar Lal.

I don't understand
a word that's written here.

It's written in Madrasi.

He was a Madrasi. Though
he lived in Dwarka but, look..

Great.

This idol now belongs to you.

Thank you.

Great.

Kanji Money?
- Bhanwar Lal.

You only listen,
but don't understand.

I said l won't charge
you for this idol..

..but I will have to pay the sage.

Yes, of course.

Here you go. 100 rupees.

Only 100..
- Mahadev. Mahadev.

This is a question of devotion.
We cannot force anyone.

Do you how much I had at that time?

Only 20 rupees.

Only 20 rupees. Remember?

So do you know what I did?

I was wearing a similar gold chain.
And l gave that to him.

It's all about faith.

Anything you give is less.

Wow. What a thought.

Not just my gold chain,
I will give up my gold ring too.

That's it.

Here. Here you go.
- Great, great. Discard your burden.

Discard all your burden.

Great, great.

Glory to..
- Lord Krishna!

Glory.

Now, where will
this idol emerge from?

From the holy land of Mathura,
where else?

Glory to Sri Kanji Lalji Mehta.

Glory to you.

As long as people believe
in toys like this..

..our business will prosper.

Kanji. This is the God's idol,
don't call it a toy.

The Lord is only a delusion.
- Yes, let's go.

Isn't that Chintu?

Yes.

Yes, that's him.
- Yes.

Yes. He's dancing so well.
Serpent dance.

I'll put an end to all this.

Shut down the shop
and get the scooter. - Yes.

Come on. Kanji.
- Yes.

Look after my shop for a month.

Why?
- I'm going on Haj.

I suggest that you
get your shop fixed..

..rather than going on a Haj.

God save me from devils.

Your shop will come crashing
down even if anyone sneezes.

Let's go.
- Coming.

Give them seeds worth rs.10.
- Okay.

Come on, start it quickly.

Glory to..
- Siddeshwar Maharaj.

Let the 'Janmastami'
festivities begin.

"Go...go...go...Govinda."

"You're so striking."

"lf you're fire, I am water."

"lf you're the sky,
we're the stars."

"You're so striking."

"lf you're fire, I am water."

"lf you're the sky,
we're the stars."

"Even if we've to
lay down our lives."

"But we promise."

"We won't let you go."

"Go...go...go...Govinda."

"Go...go...go...Govinda"

"You're so striking."

"lf you're fire, I am water."

"lf you're the sky,
we're the stars."

"You're so striking."

"lf you're fire, I am water."

"lf you're the sky,
we're the stars."

"Even if we've to
lay down our lives."

"But we promise."

"We won't let you go."

"Go...go...go...Govinda."

"1 1, 12, 13. The heat's rising."

"ln my body."

"1 1, 12, 13..."

"1 1, 12, 13. The heat's rising."

"ln my body."

"Don't look now."

"My eyes are spitting fire."

"This sight looks so colourful."

"You're so talked about,
you're so unique."

"Even if we've to
lay down our lives."

"But we promise."

"We won't let you go."

"Go...go...go...Govinda."

Just one more place left to visit.

Mishra.

You call me from Kashi for a day..

..and make me travel
the entire day.

It's a small area.

Once you give them your blessings..

..they'll cast their votes for me.

Glory to..
- Siddeshwar Maharaj.

"What's this fervour?"
"What's this obsession?"

"What's this craze?"

"What's this fervour?"

"Tell me. Tell me."

"What's this fervour?"
"What's this obsession?"

"What's this craze?"

"What's this passion all around?"

"We'll lose ourselves in yourjoy."

"We'll lose ourselves
in your devotion."

"Even if we've to
lay down our lives."

"But we promise."

"We won't let you go."

"Go...go...go...Govinda."

Look, Sonakshi Sinha.

She is Rowdy,
my Rathore's in the next alley.

Let's go. Come on.
- Yes.

"Break the pot."

"Go...go...go...Govinda."

Begin with the festivities.

"Go...go...go...Govinda."

What's going on here. Move.

Get down.

"Go...go...go...Govinda."

Come here.
- Yes, yes.

"Go...go...go...Govinda."

break it. Break it.

Hear! Hear! Hear! Hear!

Calm down! Calm down!

It's the Swami's orders.

Calm down!

Calm down! Calm down!

What orders?

Sri Siddeshwar Maharaj
has just said..

..that Lord Krishna
is very pleased..

..to see the crowd
that has gathered around..

..for the 'Janmastami' festivities.

And today He'll eat milk
and butter from His devotees.

Yes, he'll drink
milk and eat butter.

And Siddeshwar Maharaj
also says that..

..this auspicious opportunity
will last only for an hour.

Only one hour.

So, your time begins now.

Go. Go.
- Who is that imposter?

Hello, hello, hello.

Play. Play.

Go ahead, feed Him.
- What's wrong with the mic?

See what's wrong?

What's wrong with the mic?
- Where's everyone going?

Go, go.
- No, wait.

Where are you going?
- Go.

Play, play harder.
- Wait everyone, wait.

Even Siddeshwar Maharaj
is asking you to go.

Go, leave.
- Wait.

What have you done?

No, papa. No. - Stupid fool,
breaking pots during your exams.

Stop it, stop it.

Go and feed Him butter.

I won't spare you next time.

Stop you fool!

You'll be punished
for your unpardonable sin.

He will punish you Himself.

Punish me?

Don't try to scare
me in the name of Lord.

I'll see what He does to me.

Go home, it's going to rain.

You'll get drenched.

It's an earthquake.

Swamiji Rain?

Rain?

My hand's paining.

I won't be able to
write my exam tomorrow.

I'll slap you.

I'll make you hold the pen
in your mouth and write your paper.

You're scolding him.

But what about you?
- What did I do?

What?

The festivities
were left incomplete.

You've to admit that there's God.

You spread the rumour..

..and immediately
there was an earthquake.

Remember.
- What earthquake?

Even the utensils didn't budge.

Papa.

I think they took your
announcement too seriously.

This news just came in
from parts of the country..

..that the idol of Sri
Krishna's eating butter.

Is the Lord eating butter?
- No.

Priest, offer the
Lord some buttermilk.

People are offering cheese,
cottage-cheese..

..butter, buttermilk to
the idol of Krishna. - Oh, God!

The rumour has spread so far.

Please, eat it.

This is low-cholesterol cheese.

The Lord's so lucky.

Look at the things He's getting.

Earlier, people would
keep it in a covered platter..

..in front of Him.

But now they're feeding Him.

Let Him enjoy.

It's your fault.

Mumbai just experienced
a slight earthquake tremor..

..of 3.5 Richter scale,
which didn't cause..

..any harm to life or property.

See. Heard that?

But a shop in the flea
market has collapsed..

..which was closed at that time.

Must be Mohammad's shop.

According to our sources..

..the shop was registered to Mr.
Kanji Lalji Mehta.

It's really surprising, because..

..there are other old shops in
this market which are still intact.

But Kanji Lalji Mehta's shop
has been completely destroyed.

This is Shweta Tiwari, with
cameraman Vaibhav Mishra, ABP News.

Sister, switch on ABP News quickly.

We saw.

Brother-in-law's shop is gone.
It's collapsed.

Pravin!
- Calm down, father.

No, sister.
Come there with the children.

I'm coming there with
father and the others. - Yes.

Yes, we're coming.

We're coming.

The idols of Gods
have gone underneath.

The shop is completely ruined

Doesn't seem like there
was ever a shop here.

What are you saying?

We had goods worth 25 lakhs.

And we'll have to
pay the scrap dealer..

..to have this cleared.

Why pay?

We'll give him one
of the broken idols..

..and say "It appeared
from the ground in Amarnath".

What are you saying,
brother-in-law?

You'll soon be bankrupt.

Do you know the losses
you've incurred?

40 lakhs.

Goods worth 25 lakhs
bought on credit..

..and 15 lakhs spent
on renovation last month.

40 lakhs? Where did
you get that kind of money?

We borrowed a part of the
amount by mortgaging the house.

And l borrowed 10
lakhs from a friend.

And 5 lakhs from your own pocket..

..for earning 18% interest.

Pravin, you fool.

You didn't even ask me.

How will we arrange
for such a huge sum?

There's hardly 30-40
thousand in the bank.

And we don't even have jewellery.

Sushila. We'll manage.
- How?

Why don't you understand?

If you hadn't spoken
ill about the Lord..

..He wouldn't have
caused this earthquake.

His justice is silent.

Will you please stop preaching?

You mean to say, that the Lord..

..who doesn't exist,
razed down my shop..

..because I spoke ill about Him?

So, just to prove Himself..

..he razed down just
my shop in a fit of rage.

And if I still don't
believe in Him..

..he will make me
incur more losses? - Yes.

What yes?

I still don't believe in You?

I haven't incurred any loss.

Look.

What's he doing?
- What..

Everything's lost, Kanji.

Only thing left
is this Godrej safe.

Rolex.

It's a Rolex.
- No.

Mr. Dinesh. lsn't that
a Rolex watch you're wearing?

Must be worth 1 .5 -2 lakhs.

It's worth 10.

Mr. Kanji.

I am sure you read
the terms and conditions..

..before reading the policy.

Not at all, sir.

Your officer asked me
to sign at the places marked..

..and I did so.

How irresponsible you are.

What happened, sir?

Your policy insures you against..

..accidents like theft,
fire, fraud.

Right. That's what we opted for.

But not against Act of God.

Act of God?

See, it's written here clearly.

Conditions apply.

My glasses.. - In the event
of loss or damage to the property..

..the insurance company
is not liable to pay..

..any amount if the damage
is caused by act of God.

And here are your signatures.

It's written in such small letters.

And nobody reads that.

What is 'Act of God'?

Incidents that are
not caused by humans.

Like? - Like earthquake,
Tsunami, Thunder.

You cannot claim
insurance in such cases.

Because these are
natural calamities.

But I don't believe in God.

Tell him.

I don't care if you do or don't.

You're signatures are right here.

I am so sorry.

Sorry? What sorry?

Sir.

Sir, I've invested my
entire earnings in the shop.

Even my house is mortgaged.

And you're saying sorry.

I know, but your claim
cannot be approved.

You may go now.

No, sir. I won't leave
until my claim isn't approved.

Security.

Sir..
Sir, why are you calling security?

I'm talking to you decently.
- Yes, sir.

Take him away, please.
- Why call the security..

Come on.
- Just a minute.

Just a minute.

Come on.

You just know how
to swindle our money.

Mind your language.

You should be publicly beaten.

Throw him out.

Get out! Get out!

You get this for
2000 in the flea market.

Don't you understand?

It's Act of God.

You want money, don't you?
Go and ask God. Take him away.

Act of God.

Just a second. Just a second.

Leave me.

Act of God.

So, you believe in God.
- Yes.

You believe that God
is present everywhere.

In him, him, that madam, him.

God dwells in everyone.
- Yes.

And me?

Mr. Dinesh, you believe
that God dwells in me too.

Yes.

Thank you.

Act of God. I didn't do it.

God did. It's 'Act of God'.

God slapped him again.
I didn't do it.

And now God will shoot you..
And you will die.

Later, will your
family get the claim..

..or will that be
'Act of God' as well?

Tell me.
- No.

Kanji, what are you doing?

Why are you scared? Take the gun.

Get down now, come on.

The phone's ringing again.

Forget it.

You switched of your mobile..

..that's why they're
calling on the landline now.

Tell them I am not at home.

They say if we don't
arrange for the money..

..we'll have to vacate
the house in a month.

I had so many dreams.

I wanted to make Jigna a pilot.

And my son a cricketer.

But soon I'll even lose this house.

Everything's lost.

Everything will be fine.

What will be fine?

All l have is the shop property.

I'll sell that and
repay the mortgage.

"Om Jai Jagdish Hare."

"Swami.."

Yes. Yes, he's here.

It's Nimish.
- Who?

Who Nimish bhai?
- The estate agent.

Oh yes.

Yes, Nimish. Go ahead.

Did you find a buyer
for that property?

What are you saying?

What happened?

He's saying, there are broken
idols of God on that land..

..so it's become inauspicious.

The place has become cursed.
- Oh, God!

No one will buy this land..

..that's the rumour in the market.

Nimish. 100 years later,
when people find..

..idols of God under that land, the
prices will shoot up by 4 times.

Four times.

And people will construct
a temple there as well.

If anyone wants the
buy the land he can..

..otherwise I care a damn.

What now?

I've an idea.

What are you doing, Kanji?

Suicide!

Sister-in-law, suicide..

Papa.
- Where?

Leave me.

What are you doing?
- Papa..

I am not a coward.

I will file a case.

Have you lost it?

He's gone crazy.

You will file a case
against an insurance company..

..worth 3000 crores!

I'm sure there are
many others like you..

..who have filed a case
against the insurance company.

There must be others like
me who might have filed a case..

..but no ever filed
a case against your Kishen.

I...will...file a
case against your God.

What are you doing?

"Who controls this world?"

"Who's that sitting
high up in the sky?"

"Why are You hiding
behind the clouds?"

"Why are You afraid of being seen?"

Kanji.
- Yes.

How will you fight the case?

That's simple.

If your Lord can
appear in the temple..

..from 9-12 and 4-7,
then he's free from 12-4.

He can appear in
the court at that time.

What do you need? Tell me.

Agreement,
affidavit, anything you need.

I will make it. Come with me.

One minute.
- I've high contacts.

Just tell me what you need?

High contacts?
- Yes.

I want to send a notice.
- Come with me.

Come on.

So, who do you want
to serve the notice to?

'Bhagwan' (God).

So, Mr. Bhagwan

Surname?

He must have a last name?

Sharma, Verma,
Kapoor, Khanna, Desai, anything.

Don't know, because we haven't met.

I see.

No.
- You two haven't met?

No.
- That's fine.

What's his crime? Crime.

He has ruined me.

What? You just said
you two haven't met.

This Mr.Bhagwan
must live somewhere.

Resident?
- Who do I send the notice too?

People say that
He lives in temples.

I see...

What?

Which 'Bhagwan' are
you talking about? - Sit.

He has many names,
which ones should I say?

Krishna,
Ram, Brahma, Vishnu, Mahesh.

Sai Baba.
- It's a sin.

Hanumanji. Balaji...

And ladies too.

Durga, Saraswati,
Parvati, Santoshi.

You've lost your mind!

Wasting my time.

Get lost. Come on.

Mad man.

The nerve he has. Come on.

Don't trouble me.

Leave me alone.

Go to someone else.

I plead you.

Wait a minute, I'm a Hindu.

"Hari Bol."
"Speak now, reveal the secrets."

The person we're going
to see now is a famed lawyer.

If he says yes,
ourjob will be done.

Yes, sir. Which floor?

Lift's out of order?

1 1th floor.

I forgot the key to the scooter.
I'll be right back.

Come on.

"He's witty, sells lies."

"Kanji's cleverness
is known everywhere."

"He's witty, sells lies."

"Kanji's cleverness
is known everywhere."

"He locked horns with God."

"And invited trouble for himself."

"He always speaks the truth."

"His honesty is unique."

Mr. Lawyer.
- Yes.

Religious.

Kanji. - Go back,
we're at the wrong place.

Are you with him?

Stop, stop.

Excuse me, where does
advocate Hanif Qureshi live?

Up ahead.

Is Hanif at home?
- Yes.

Come. Father's inside.

Hello.

You seem to be in trouble.

In the last riots,
I defended some innocent Hindus.

And my own people did this to me.

Father cannot walk.

But you want to fight..

..with the One who created
your entire community.

Will you flee?

I've no other option left.

I won't run.

Look, l cannot fight your
case in this condition..

..but if the lawyers
refuse to take up your case..

..then according to the law
you can defend your own case.

Is that possible?
- Yes, there's a provision in the law.

If you want I can
prepare your legal notice.

I'll be grateful to you, Hanif.

Thank you.

Hanif. Do you believe in Allah?

Of course.

God, Allah, they are all the same.

So, I am fighting against Him.

So, why are you helping me?

You're not the only pleader.

Everyone does.

Some pleads to Him,
and some against Him.

Where do you want
to send this notice?

I don't have his...
Address.

No.
- Then.

The judge will dismiss your
case in the first hearing.

I mean, I don't have His address..

..but of the places
where people look for Him.

"You're our benefactor,
our friend."

"So scare us."

"Why ruin our present, by telling
us about an unknown future."

"You're our benefactor,
our friend."

"So scare us."

"Why ruin our present, by telling
us about an unknown future."

"Your saints and sages,
spread shams in Your name."

"They put a price tag on you."

"What's money got
to do in devotion?"

"Hari Bol."

"Speak now, reveal the secrets."

"Speak up."

"Hari Bol."

Hello. Relax, just relax.

The shop in flea market..

..which collapsed a few days
ago due to the earthquake..

..the owner of that shop,
Kanji Lalji Mehta..

..has filed a case against God.

This is the reaction of
people over the matter.

Down with..
- Kanji!

Just relax.

This case won't be
accepted in the court.

Trust me.

Just leave it to me.

You won't even have
to come to the court.

Relax.

Glory to..
- Leeladhar Maharaj!

Greetings.

I feel we should
meet that person once..

..and listen to his problems,
and try to understand.

Well, I..

Although we all hold
different positions..

..in different communities.

But our God is one.

Later.

And today, a human
has accused our God.

This is not a personal war.

Instead, it's a
battle for all humans..

..who have faith in God.

So l've decided that l,
Siddeshwar Maharaj..

..and Gopi Maiyya,
will go to the court..

..to give that shameless
human a fitting reply.

Down with..
- Kanji!

Yes, it's a democracy, where
everyone is treated equally.

And now, even God.

Even God will have to stand in
the High Court's witness box..

..where the most dangerous
criminals stand for trial.

Strange, but true.

I still say, think about it once.

I already have.

Today's the first hearing..

..and the judge
will decide whether..

..such a case can
be accepted or not.

It's a good omen.

Really nice. Let's go.

Many believers are standing outside
the court shouting slogans against Kanji.

Down with..
- Kanji!

Many 'dharma gurus'
have come to the court..

..to give a reply of
Kanji's baseless allegations.

Very few people have been
allowed in the courtroom as well.

Swami, give me your blessings.

Move aside, no one
will touch the swami.

Move aside, move aside.

Down with..
- Kanji!

Kanji, people say you're
doing this for publicity?

Down with..
- Kanji!

You?
- You will sit here.

Sit, sit.

Hey insurance..

How's the Rolex?

Working fine.

Relax.

He's the one who spread
the rumour about God eating butter.

All rise.

Kanji, get up.

Mr. Kanji Lalji Mehta.
- Yes, sir.

We've been informed that
you'll defend your own case.

Yes..

I don't have any other option,
Your Honour.

The other lawyers are scared.

So, I'll have to defend this case..

My lordship, this is
a baseless appeal.

A publicity stunt.

There's no cause of action
that can be proved in court.

So l suggest, under
order 7 rule no.1 1 ..

..of the code of civil procedure.

This case be
straightaway dismissed..

..for out of cause action.

Your Honour,
my English isn't that good..

..but I do
understand that he's asking..

..to shut down this
case immediately.

Right? You're right.

I don't want to get into
this hassle in the first place.

I'm a Gujarati, businessman.

Whether the Lord exists or not,
doesn't make a difference to me.

The insurance people said that..

..God has razed down my shop.

Or, he's the One behind
your shop's destruction.

So, I said fine. Ask God
to compensate for my losses.

Case closed.

But why will God
raze down your shop?

Fool!

Please.

Please come to the
witness box and speak.

May Lord forgive his naiveness.

Why will God raze down my shop?

Exactly, why will
God raze down my shop?

He has other important
things to do.

So, tell the
insurance company to pay me.

End of matter.

Why will the
insurance company pay you?

You've agreed to the
terms and conditions..

..of the insurance company.

Exhibit no.1, sir.

Right. Then God will
have to compensate for it.

Call upon,
Lord Ram, Shiva, Ganpati..

..Whoever you get
along better with.

Do some of your hocus-pocus, or..
- Fool!

The only way to find
God is through salvation.

God won't descend down on earth..

..for a ordinary man like you.

He would only if He exists.

You're turnover is in millions,
and this is a small settlement.

Just say yes.

I will even give you
cash discount. Really.

I object, Your Honour.

Mr. Kanji is calling
service to God a business.

Of course it's business.

Take a visit to
any religious place.

First you've to pay for parking.

Then, pay for standing
in the smaller queue.

Then pay for the flowers,
blanket, candle.

And the donation box is
kept right before the idol.

As soon as you bow down,
you've to put something in it.

And they even charge
for the offerings of God.

Just like we're charged for
seeing wax statues in the museum.

Similarly, they charge us for
seeing the stone idols in temples.

And the priests
have salaries as well.

His is less, and his is more.

And you even have
income tax benefits.

Right?

So, where's the service?

And, Your Honour, there's never
recession in this business.

No.

In fact, they do better
business during recession.

"Oh, God! Oh my, God!"

Relax.

Consider that it is a business.

Still, why are you
asking them for compensation?

You pay premiums
for your insurance..

..so you can ask
them for a compensation.

But why will the temple pay you?

Because...l've paid premiums
in their temples as well. - What?

What nonsense?

I knew you won't believe me..

..so I have brought
all the proofs along.

Look. These are the
receipts of the premium..

..I've been paying
for the last 18 years.

On my wife's advice.

Look

My first premium
was for 1501 rupees..

There's a well-known temple
in the South. l paid it there.

Then, l've been paying
1000 rupees every year..

..at Lord Ganesha's stall.

It's called a mandap.

And, your honour, my mother-in-law
used to be very sick.

So, the temple
authorities said, "Pay us 1 1,000.."

"..perform a veneration
and watch the miracle".

We performed the veneration
and my mother-in-law passed away.

That was a good thing,
but I also lost 1 1,000.

And they didn't
refund a single rupee.

And then, donation at the mosque..

..blanket at the shrine,
candle at church, alms for beggar..

..incense sticks,
veil for Mother Goddess.

In total l've paid around 10
lakhs in all these stores.

Enough!

Don't call it a store.

It's called a temple.

And people donate
willingly at the temple..

..for the peace and
prosperity of their family.

Even I gave this amount..

..for the peace and
prosperity of my family.

And not for fun.

But your God snatched
all the peace from my life.

Because only God can
cause earthquakes.

Humans cannot do it.

So tell me, don't I've a right
to ask God for compensation?

Mr. Kanji.

You've a tiff with God, don't you?
- Yes.

So why don't you ask Him
directly for compensation?

Why are you asking the temples?

Which company supplies
electricity to your home?

Reliance.
- Reliance.

So if there's an
electricity problem in your home..

..you will call up the
Reliance office, won't you?

You won't call
Anil Ambani directly.

Mr. Anil,
we've a electricity problem.

Silence.

What do you mean?

These priests, the saints
are officers of God. - No.

They aren't officers.

Officers are educated people.

They are...

They are salesmen, Your Honour.

They are collection agents..

..because they own God's franchise.

Your Honour.

This man's an atheist.

He doesn't know what he's saying.

But, we are saints.

We will forgive him.

But the world will never
forgive him for this grave sin.

You won't be able to set
foot out of your house..

..if you say anything else.

Is that your concern for me..

..or are you threatening
me in front of the judge?

We...are concerned for you.

They pay me up quickly.
End this matter.

My lord, this is enough.

The donation receipts,
the submissions.

There's no agency agreement
between God and my clients.

Kanji is saying baseless things.

We cannot file a case
against God for such a small thing.

Small?

My lord, this isn't small issue.

That shop means everything to me.

My means of earning.

The only way to support my family.

And l built that
shop with hard work.

Now, it's just a piece of land.

And no one's ready
to buy that as well.

These people say,
"Donate with faith.."

"..and you'll never be wronged".

And the insurance people say
"Pay your premiums on time.."

"..we're there in
your troubled times".

I gave donations and
also paid my premiums.

But none of them are
willing to help me.

I am an ordinary human.

A middle-class man.

My family, my wife and children..

..will be forced
to live on streets.

No, my lord.

You'll have to give me a chance
to defend my case in this court.

And the constituency of
India gives me the right..

..to voice my plea in this court.

So please, my lord.

One crore is a big amount
for a middle-class businessman.

And especially, when it's
a question of his survival.

So, the court accepts
Kanji Lalji Mehta's case.

Silence.

And only after
carefully examining..

..all the evidences and arguments..

..the court will give
its verdict, whether..

..Mr. Mr. Kanji Lal will
get his compensation or not.

And if he does,
then who will pay him?

The insurance company or,
the temple.

The court's adjourned for the day.

Wait. Wait.

You can perform all
the veneration you want..

..and ring those bells
as many times you wish.

Your God razed down my shop.

And now, I will alone
shut down all his shops..

..or my name isn't
Kanji Lalji Mehta.

And this isn't my concern for you.

It's a direct warning.

Yes.

You're safe here,
it's a government property.

But how will you escape them?

Down with..
- Kanji!

Sir. The case has been accepted.

I'm worried about
Sushila and the children.

I'll take a cab, you go.

But how can l leave you alone.

I'm going to the police station,
for protection.

Drop her home as well. Go.

Be careful, dear.

Go, go, go.

Are the boys ready?

Remember.

Kanji shouldn't get
to see daylight. That's it.

There he is.

Catch him. There he goes.

Don't let him go.

"Go...go...go...Govinda."

"govinda aala re.."

"Go...go...go...Govinda."

Let's sit down and talk.

All l did was file a case.

If you try to talk
they'll cut you in half.

Look behind.

Catch him.

Faster!

Who are you?

Krishna Vasudev Yadav.

What?

Krishna Vasudev Yadav from Gokul.

So you're from UP.

You can call me Kanhaiyya.

Catch him, catch him.

Catch him.

Careful.

Are you a man or a stuntman?

You can call me a stuntman as well.

But people call
my stunts a miracle.

Miracle.
- Hold on.

You aren't wearing a helmet either.

There he is.

There's a lot of traffic on earth.

Where do you think you're going,
go that way.

Drive on the road.

Faster!

"Go...go...go...Govinda."

That was a narrow escape.

Now, take me to Brahmanwadi.

Go straight then take a left,
then right and another left.

And you'll be home, go on.

You brought me this far,
so drop me home as well.

My job's to show the way..

..it's yourjob to
get to the destination.

Keep it.

Thank you so much.

You're so kind.
- Thank you.

Take care.
"Go...go...go...Govinda."

Papa!
- Sushila.

Is everything fine?

Go up and take a look in the house,
you'll know.

Thankfully we survived, otherwise..

No, I'll talk to the police.

Don't worry.

They hurled stones and
acid bottles in our house.

I don't care lf I die.

But the children.

If Jigna would've
been hit by that acid..

I won't let anything
happen to them.

I am their father. Please.

So, understand the
duties of a father.

Withdraw the case.
- You're a fool.

I'm about to lose my house.

Where will we stay?

On the streets, or in their house?

Do we have any other option?
Why don't you understand?

Come on, Jigna. Sit in the car.

He's made a mess of things.

I won't leave papa.

I'll slap you if you refuse.
- No, mother.

Come inside, sit inside.

Please..

Hello.

Who is it?
- Bhagwan (God).

What?

If you were a Muslim,
I would've said Allah.

If you were a Christian,
then Jesus Christ.

You're a Hindu, so Krishna.

You, here?

You're an excellent stuntman,
really.

Very good.

I'm sure you're
acting is decent as well.

Why don't you approach
some television channel?

They keep remaking
Ramayan and Mahabharat.

Krishna.

Suited-booted Krishna.

Here to teach me a lesson.

Look.

Look there.

Gods are bare-bodied.

Like this.

They're never fully covered.

That's your wedding photo, right?
- Yes.

Wearing that traditional attire.

So, did you only wear
a traditional attire..

..since your wedding?

No, right?
- No.

See. That's our older image.

Conch in one hand,
mace in the other.

Where are yours?

If l keep holding them all day,
won't my arms hurt?

Think.

Actually, our latest photos
haven't been updated on Facebook.

People still use the
older ones, and we let them.

We don't have a problem.

Let them.
- That's enough.

You're boring me now.
Get out, leave.

Mahadev!

Mahadev!
- Only you can hear and see me.

Yes, coming. Coming.

Mahadev!

What happened?
What happened, Kanji?

See him.

He calls himself God.

I can see him.

He can see you.

My name's Krishna,
your new neighbour.

Neighbour?

The person Kanji had
mortgaged his house to..

..has sold it to me.

Here are the documents.

And, Kanji bhai,
sorry for that joke about God.

What's this?

How can he sell my house to him?

I was about to pay him on time.

I already paid him.

This isn't done.

This is my house.
Nobody can just buy it.

Relax. Chill.

When you get your
compensation from God..

..you can repay me, I will leave.

And anyway, l always leave
after my project is over.

Why buy the house
when you want to leave?

Are you a agent?

I am not that low.

I've a consultancy firm.

I give advice to people.
- Advice.

Anyone who thinks of me.

Public service.
Service open to all.

A solution to every problem.

Sometimes it gets slightly delayed.

But...I always get there on time.

There's delay but not denial.

Just like l came here,
to help Kanji bhai.

Help me?

I found out about your condition..

..only after I brought the house.

The court case, lost your shop..

..and your wife and children too.

Kanji bhai, don't worry.

You can stay here.

In return,
I will only use your things.

Television, fridge, etcetera.

Fine, but remember..

..one day I will
buy this house back from you.

So be it!

I mean, I promise.

He's a nice man.
- Something you said.

No, just.. Cheers.

Calls himself God.
I think he's drunk.

Thank you, for letting
me stay in my own house.

Thank you so much.

Thank you.

I will sleep outside
on the terrace.

And you can sleep
wherever you want.

It's your house.

Thank you. Goodnight.

And yes,
the light switch is at the back.

Switch off the lights
before you go to sleep.

Another power failure.

No. you switched it off.
- No, I didn't.

You're drunk.

So?

I see.

"Go...go...go...Govinda."

Case on God admitted. Paper,
paper, paper.

High Court has put it's seal on it.

Through the notice prepared
by advocate Hanif Qureshi..

..Kanji Lalji Mehta's case
on God has been accepted.

I think he's mad.

I'm leaving.

Hey Jigna, what happened?

See, his wife ran away.

Who can live with that madman?

I don't even talk to him.

Or the Lord might
punish us as well.

What a splendid bike.
- But, who is he?

I think he arrived just last night.

Who's playing this classical music?

I've heard that the new
guest is really handsome.

Don't l look handsome?

Get inside.

Hey, Hari Prasad.

Hey, Chaurasiya.

What's all this?

I was waking up the birds!

What? Who?

I was waking up the birds!

Practice. I was practising.

It's a good thing to
do in the morning.

Don't do it.
Don't do all this in my house.

It's your house you can
play anything you want.

Good morning.
- What?

Not me,
there's a lady in your house.

Hello.

I brought breakfast.

I thought since sister-in-law
isn't home, so.. - No need.

I'll have bread and butter.

Where's the butter?

I ate it.

There was half a kilo of butter
in there, you ate it all.

It's my favourite thing.
So l ate it.

Tell me one thing.

Why do they make it so salty?

Just like his name.

Are you all alone?

Your wife?
- Of course.

Sixteen thousand..
- What?

She lives in Sholapur.

What did you hear?
- Sixteen thousand.

No, she lives in Sholapur.

He can't handle one..

..how can I have sixteen thousand.

Please go. He's a big liar.

He was boring me yesterday.

Please go.
- Give it.

If you eat all that
you'll get a stomach ache.

First half a kilo of
butter and now this.

I'll be fine.

Hello.
- Sir, I'm speaking from ABP News.

I am standing below your house.

Sir.

Look, l don't want to be
a piece of news for you.

And don't call me again.

Sir, just one interview.

Since he filed a case
against God, he's become alone.

One has to tread
on such a path alone.

Let's see how far our friend goes.

The advocate who
prepared Kanji's notice.

He lives that way.

Excuse me, advocate Hanif Qureshi.

He lives right there.

Where does advocate
Hanif Qureshi live?

He lives right there.

Advocate Hanif Qureshi lives there.

155 letters, and calls too.

Bhuj, Latur, Vishakapatnam.

Their claims haven't
been approved..

..for the past few
years due to 'Act of God'.

All they all want you
to defend their cases.

Son, I've lost my
house in the earthquake.

My son and his wife died too.

This is my grandson.

His cancer needs to be operated.

If l get the insurance money,
everything will be alright.

This is Aslam.

Hello.
- Hello.

He lost everything in the Tsunami.

He lost all the money he had
saved for his sister's marriage.

So you file a case too.

I'll be cast out..

..if l go against
the priest or community.

Look, Aslam.
You aren't going against anyone.

Those who taught you religion,
taught you to pray..

..you're just questioning
them why Allah did this to you.

But, the priest..
- Aslam.

When you lose your home..

..will the priest let
you stay in his house?

Religion is for people,
people aren't made for religion.

Hanif, how long will it
take to ready their papers?

As long as it will take me to type.

Let's begin.

First one crore, and now
claims worth 400 crores.

Kanji Mehta!

Advocate Sardesai
is caught between..

..the insurance company
and religious organizations.

For God's sake,
prove that God exists.

And...and...
make God pay all this!

The temples, mosques, churches,
they will pay everything.

Kanji.

Wasn't your fight with your God?

Silence please!
- So why call me here?

Priest, how can I say
which God of which religion..

..was behind this earthquake,
or that Tsunami?

That's your department.

Your Honour, they're in
constant touch with God.

They're always in contact.

Why don't you tell me
Who was responsible?

Why would our God harm
people of our own religion?

God will never do such a thing!

Silence.
- He loves his children!

Allah doesn't hate
his followers either!

Relax.
- Please be seated.

The court needs some time
to study all these cases.

Anyone related to this
case cannot leave the country.

What?

Court is adjourned.

Long live..
- Kanji!

This is government property,
you're safe here.

But how will you escape them,
in temples, churches and mosques?

What are you thinking, Leeladhar?

This has gone beyond the limit.

Stop all the shams that you're
running in the name of faith.

Otherwise, the day isn't far when..

..no one will even spare
alms in the name of God.

Thank you.

You don't understand, Leeladhar..
- Thank you.

This is actually a serious matter.

People are making him a hero..

..and the claim
amount is increasing.

Will you just tell us about
the problems or do something?

Next week,
I've a religious programme..

..on the Star Cruise, in Singapore

And the judge says
I cannot leave the country.

Do something.
- I would.

But it's the court,
not the parliament..

..where we can break a few
chairs and the job's done.

It's the court.

Let me think.

Well, there's one way.

I know it's an old idea..

..but these days
it's a lot in fashion.

Laxman Mishra guarantees..

..that you'll get
the sympathy of people.

I guarantee it.

Thank you.

Lord blessed us with everything.

The earth, the air, water,
the flora, fauna, everything.

Did He ever ask us for service tax?
- No?

Did he ever ask us for sales tax?
- No.

And today, a madman has
dragged Him to court..

..so, will we stay quiet?
- No.

We will fight.

We will fight together.

And so, guiding us on
this path, our beloved..

..and revered Sri Siddeshwar
Maharaj will fast unto death.

He will go on a hunger strike.

Glory to..
- Siddeshwar Maharaj

Today's the third day of
Siddeshwar Maharaj's hunger strike.

Many religious
organizations and devotees..

..from different parts of the country
have supported this movement.

On the other hand,
Kanji Lalji Mehta..

..has refused to talk to the media.

He won't take a sip of water.

He won't stop.

He's an ascetic.

Repeat after me, Glory
to Ram, glory to Sita-Ram!

Hare Krishna! Hare Krishna!

And what does God say?

Awaken the power of your devotion.

And go tell Kanji, you
can do anything you want.

We will continue..

They're defaming me
taking Krishna's name.

Mine too.

What have you got to do with this?

I do.

When they're defaming you,
they're defaming me too.

You're my friend after all.

Look, Kanji bhai, it's
the era of publicity.

These imposters like to show off.

I am fighting for my right,
that's all.

And you will win this fight
only when you expose their lies..

..and that's possible only
when you speak to the people.

Even Krishna had to
enter the ring to kill Kans.

Enough of your fairytales.

But I did understand one thing.

Now watch...
how I expose them and their God.

He's not going to spare me.

Hello, and welcome to
a very special episode..

..of Oh My God!

Why is this episode special?

Because Kanji Lalji Mehta..

..is finally here to
answer all your questions.

Many of you think
he's crazy and cynical.

He's the person who...
filed the case against God.

Kanji bhai, welcome to our show.

My first question is..

Why are you after all
the religious sects?

You media personnel, I tell you..

Your questions sound
more like allegations..

..and make us sound guilty.

I respect all religion
and don't believe in any.

This man will never change.

And if God exists,
he will answer all my questions.

Not just that,
he will support me in my fight.

How?

When you were small, a small child.

What would you do to ask
your papa for chocolate?

I mean, would you chant his name.

"Papa, give me chocolates."

Or, did you venerate
him with incense sticks..

..or throw flowers...
- No, I didn't do any of that.

I would directly ask him
whatever I wanted. - Exactly.

Exactly. I'm doing the same thing.

People have always told me,
that God is like a father-figure.

Maybe? But how can I believe,
as long as I don't see Him.

You're an atheist,
how can God appear before you?

Eat. Eat.

Kanji bhai, even I believe that
God's like a father-figure. - Yes.

So, will he appear before me?

Do you believe in temples,
idols etcetera?

Yes, I do.
- Then He won't.

But why?

Because you're searching
for Him in temples and idols.

Then why does
He have to come personally?

No, this is wrong.

God does exist.

I couldn't find
a decent job for two years.

I prayed that if I find a job,
I will shave my head.

And see, I found a job.

Oh, you shaved
off the entire thing.

Just imagine.

You're all dressed and
leaving for work in the morning..

..and as soon as
you open your door..

..you see a pile of hair.

Black hair, white hair,
some with dandruff.

Some have lice.

There's a pile of
every kind of hair.

Tell me how you will feel.

I won't like it at all.

Isn't it? So,
imagine how bad God feels.

God opens his door,
and there's hair scattered around.

Kanji bhai always
has the right logic.

Do you know what's
done with all these hairs?

They are sold.

These hairs are sold in America,
London, etcetera...

In short, your faith is sold.

That's it.

He is right.

He's got a point.

But that money is used to
run schools, orphanages..

..hospitals, charitable trusts.

Do you have a problem
with that too?

It's just like a tobacco
seller builds a cancer hospital.

They have to do
these things, madam.

Because all this
is unaccounted money.

If you don't show
any legal transaction..

..then the Income Tax
people will put you behind bars.

I've a problem with their
way of extracting the money.

Just like the mafia
scares us with a gun..

..these people scare us
in the name of the Lord.

That's a good one.

"Your child's stars
are unfavourable."

"He's unlucky."

"There's an inauspicious
issue in his horoscope."

"Saturn's influencing his stars..."

What is this?

He is just born, let him breathe.

And this is where all
their religious hoaxes begin.

Not just this lifetime,
but they also scare you..

..in the name of
your next life. Yes.

If you don't do this and this..

..then you'll become a
dog in your next lifetime.

Or, if you do this,
you'll be born as a insect..

..and go to hell.

And then, they read out an
entire itinerary of hell.

You'll be made to
sleep on a bed of nails.

Thrown in the sea of fire.

Fried in hot oil.

Am I a man or a fritter?

Wonderful, Kanji.

Too good.

So, what's the definition of
religion according to you?

I believe, where there's religion..

..there's no place for honesty.

And where there's truth,
you don't need religion.

He's absolutely right.

What's the role..

..of caste and
religion in a person's life?

They do just one thing, madam.

Either it makes them helpless.

..or a terrorist.

He's too good.

He'll never change.
- Sister.

Oh my God.

Oh my God, Kanji bhai.

Really, you've changed
my concept about God.

Honestly.

No matter what the
verdict of the court is..

..the young generation today,
not just the young..

..but every generation
needs to think like you.

I applaud you.

Hey, guys. He's my father.

"Sanskrit chants."

Just a minute, priest.

Explain us the
meaning of these chants.

Priest, your fees is
500 rupees, right.

We will pay you that.

We'll pay you 5 rupees for
every mantra you explain.

Let's go.

They've seen Kanji
bhai's interview as well.

Let's go from here, come on.
- Priest.

Someone placed a big stone
in the middle of the ground.

And a few people anointed that
stone and adorned it with garlands.

Now, people call this
the temple of Hanuman..

..they tie bells here and pray.

This is the only ground.
Where else can we play?

If the BMC doesn't do anything..

..then we will talk to Kanji bhai..
- Yes, yes..

No, no. That man spares no one.

I will move this temple.

"Hail Krishna."

"Hail Krishna."
- Miracle.

Swami.
- Yes.

Relieve me from this hunger-strike.

Each time l've to go to the
toilet for eating the fritter.

Manage a few more days..

..otherwise you'll have to
starve for the rest of your life.

You've rented such a big ground.

But now nobody comes here.

The few that are here..

..are the ones who
rented this dais to us.

I fear that if people
start believing in Kanji..

..then they will
lose their faith in us.

What if they stop
coming to the temple?

That won't happen.

In this country,
people visit the temple..

..more than they visit the school.

The High Court has
accepted 455 cases..

..but we'll have
to wait and watch..

..Kanji Lalji Mehta's
argument in the court.

Siddeshwar Maharaj.

What's the area of your temple?

22 acres.

It has 322 small temples of God.

Meaning, there's an entire
shopping mall of Gods inside.

Silence.

There are 142 priests to serve
the Lord in all these temples.

Do you know how many
beggars are outside your temple?

What?
- Beggars.

You remember the 320
idols and 142 priests..

..but you do you know how many
beggars sit outside your temple?

Your Honour, the beggars
outside their temple..

..are restricted
from coming inside. No!

Whether its scorching heat, or
rains, just keep rotting outside.

Don't set foot inside.

Don't say no.

A priest from your
temple told me so.

And he also said to me..

"..Kanji bhai, if you
want to win this case.."

"..then come here every Monday."

So l asked "Where should I come".

He said, "Come to
Lord Shiva's temple".

"Offer a bowl of
milk and then watch".

I thought, fine, let's try it.

Your Honour, I went
there on a Monday..

..with a bowl of milk,
standing in the long queue.

Everyone was holding
bowl in their hands.

I thought there must be
someone inside to drink the milk.

All of them aren't fools to
stand in the line holding a jug.

It was my turn, Your Honour.

I went inside, but
there was no in there.

No one to drink the milk?

Just then I noticed black stone.

It's called 'Shiva's phallus,
you fool.

Yes, there was a 'Shiva's phallus.

And that stone.

That stone was
completely immersed in milk.

And right besides the phallus,
through a small drain..

..the milk was going outside.

I thought "Yes, there must be
someone outside to drink the milk".

But when I saw there was
no one outside as well.

All the milk was
going into the sewers.

The sewers.

Total waste.

And there was a beggar
standing right besides the sewer.

He must've been hungry
for the past 4-5 days.

He was shivering.

Maybe he wanted to drink the milk..

..but he couldn't do
so from the sewers.

I gave that beggar my bowl of milk.

And do you know what
he said after he drank the milk?

God bless you!

If every person
visiting the temple..

..gives the milk
to a needy instead..

..then they will earn more merits.

Right?

If you donate
blankets to a poor beggar..

..instead of offering it to shrine,
it will make Allah happy.

And if you light a candle
in some poor man's hut..

..instead of the church, they he'll
never have to live in the darkness.

Don't you believe in God?
- I am God.

And l am Amitabh Bachchan!

Look, Kanji.

Offering milk, candles,
blanket is a tradition.

Worshipping the Lord.

But you won't
understand their value..

..because you are an atheist.

You're still bounded by
the illusions of this world.

But you aren't.

You're at the
threshold of salvation.

So, why not stop the shams under the
pretext of rituals and traditions?

Do you know how much oil
is wasted on Saturday..

..on Lord Shani's idol?

People stick coins
on the idol like this.

What will Hanuman do
with all that change?

Kanji is absolutely right.

Sai Baba lived in poverty
all his life, for the poor.

As long as he was alive..

..he wandered around
for a drop of oil.

And today, after he's dead.

Throne worth millions.

Gold crown. What for?

Tell me one thing.

Anyone who is a
faithful devotee of the Lord..

..is blessed with His grace.

Right?

Right?
- Yes.

So tell me,
why does a bus heading..

..for a trip to Amarnath or
Vaishno Devi falls in the ravine?

They were going to serve the Lord.

They were going with complete faith
and singing religious discourses.

So, the Lord called them directly.

And show me one car
which met with an accident..

..and doesn't have God's
idol or photo kept inside.

Speak.
- I object, Your Honour.

From day 1 this man's
trying to twist the case around.

Mr. Kanji, this isn't
a debate about good and bad.

This is the court,
we only believe on proofs here.

And we have proof, your signatures
on the insurance papers.

And legally you have no right
to ask for any compensation..

..from the insurance company.

And as far as we're concerned.

We don't believe in the
insurance company's conditions.

If they say that the
judge caused the earthquake..

..will the judge have
to pay you compensation?

Similarly, if God's name
is written on the policy..

..he isn't liable to
pay the compensation.

If you want God to
give you compensation.

Then prove that God
caused this earthquake.

He did..
- But, in writing.

Do you have it...in writing?

Do you have it? Any proof?

Your Honour..
- Mr. Kanji, the court of law..

..cannot give a verdict
on just arguments alone.

Your arguments maybe
valid for the common people..

..but if you cannot
prove them, it has no value.

Do you have any proof?

No. - In that case, the
court gives you a month's time..

..which is your last chance.

On the next hearing, if you
cannot produce any evidence..

..then l'm afraid you will have
to rest your case and all others.

Court is adjourned for the day.

Relax.

Next time I see you
in this courtroom..

..I will sue you for defamation,
and you'll lose..

..whatever you have left.

Relax.

What will you do now? How will
you prove it in the court now?

Because you're not alone,
Mr. Kanji.

It's a matter of crores of rupees.

Many people have hopes with you.

Sir, how will you get a proof in writing?
- Sir, what about these people now?

You aren't playing
your flute today.

You don't like it,
so l'm sitting quietly.

I like it. You play it well too.

Thank you.

You look worried.
- Yes.

The court says get us proof,
and in writing.

How do I get proof?

There's a consultant sitting
right next to you, ask me.

This isn't some housing loan issue.

It's a court case.

It's a big problem.

I've a suggestion.

Give me the alcohol.

You drink this milk.

You want me to mix them.

No, no, just drink the milk.

And l will give you the solution.

You know, Kanji,
where's the solution..

..to all the problems,
tensions and trouble written?

Where?
- In this book.

'Shrimad Bhagvad Gita.'

Have your read it?
- Who can possibly read it?

It's such a thick book.

And not a single photograph.

How can anyone read it,
it's not interesting at all.

I used to keep it in my shop.

But it would fetch a small margin.

Plus it catches termites.

It causes problems.
So l threw it out.

Threw it?
- Yes, l threw it.

You threw the Bhagwad Gita out.
- Yes.

Wow!
- Why?

Kanji, the Gita,
Bible, Koran has answers..

..to every problems of humans.

I know you don't
believe in all this.

But for your own good,
read this book once.

And see the result.

And if the result isn't good..

..then you can throw it out.

Kanji bhai read it once,
and then see.

"l am not human."

"l am sold in stores."

"l created the world."

"Not with mud,
but with my emotions."

"l am wandering around.."

"..looking for my signs,
where are they."

"Where are my signs?"

Stop begging in the name of Allah.

Stop begging and do some hard work.

"My signs."

"l was always with
you as your shadow."

"l gave you shade when
the heat was strong."

"l was your
companion in yourjourney."

"Still you're confused."

"Looking for your
answers in the question."

"Where are you lost?"

"Where are my signs?"

"My signs."

Wear your slippers.
- Oh.

Thief.

Those are my slippers.

"Where are my signs?"

Sir, shoe polish.
- No.

Sir, recognise me.
The beggar outside the shrine.

You told me to make
an honest living.

Shake hands, shake hands.

"My signs."

Today's the last hearing on
the case filed against God.

The claim amount
is 400 crore rupees.

Can Kanji bhai win this case?

We'll have to wait and watch.

You can please proceed.

Your Honour,
before Mr. Kanji can express..

..his sharp and witty
views before the court..

..without any reference,
I would like to ask..

..does he have any evidence,
to prove..

..that God has demolished his shop?

Your Honour,
I require a learned man..

..for the next
question I'm going to ask.

So, whoever amongst you is
the learned one can come here.

The learned one, please come here.

Please sit down.

Come.

You sages always speak
about the scriptures..

..in their preaching.

Is everything written
in the scriptures true?

Absolutely.

It's not written anywhere,
you're saying that.

It's written in the Gita.

It is.
What's written in the Gita?

Chapter four, verse forty of Gita.

"Sanskrit chants."

Meaning?
- It means..

Any illiterate, or faithless
person that doubts the Gita..

..is destined to ruination.

He stays devoid of
sanctity on earth and on heaven.

Understood?

He's an interesting character.

Do you understand anything written
in The Gita or the Scriptures?

Or are you blindly agreeing..

..to whatever Leeladhar is saying.

Your Honour, small
children in school..

..don't remember the entire prayer.

So they just close
their eyes and...

Move their lips.

They move their lips and
you're moving your hands.

Kanji.

You've insulted a learned sage.

So?
- You won't get refuge even in hell.

How can I?

You've already
reserved places there.

How dare you?

Atheist!

Silence.
- Leave me! Leave me!

What are you doing?

This is the court, sit down.

Order, order.

Sit down everyone.

"Sanskrit chants."

Chapter 2, verse 56.

Meaning, a person for whom
happiness and sorrows is equal..

..and is devoid of anger and fear,
and has a calm mind..

..is called a learned person.

They'll teach me Gita?

They can't teach me, Your Honour.

Their IQ is lower than
the room temperature.

I said a few things
to instigate you..

..you tried to harm me.

Is this your achievement,
Siddeshwar?

Mr. Kanji, the issue
isn't his achievement..

..the issue here is
who razed down your shop?

God did.

You're giving a verdict.
That's the judge's duty.

You just have to prove..

..that God caused that earthquake.

Yes, and it's
impossible to prove that.

Relax, relax, relax.

Nothing is impossible.

Tell me one thing.

The Lord has narrated the
'Bhagvad Gita'. - Yes.

And everything said in
the 'Bhagvad Gita' is true.

Absolutely.

Point to be noted, Your Honour.

So tell me, why did God say in the
eight verse of the ninth chapter..

..of the 'Gita', "I've
created the entire universe.."

"..and it will be
destroyed on my will".

"The entire creation
follows my will."

"lt is only I, who is responsible..

..for its creation
and its destruction."

And look.

Your Honour, it's been
said in the Bible as well.

Chapter 54, verse 16.

"See, it is I who have
created the smith.."

"..who blows the fire of
coals and produces a weapon.."

"..fit for his purpose."

"l've also created the
ravager to destroy."

And see this.

Also in the Holy Quran.

Sur-e-Zalzala 99,
verse 108 states that..

"..the entire earth will
be shaken to its core."

"And the earth will
spill out its burden."

"And humans will question,
what's happening."

"And that day, she
will unveil her plight."

"Because the Lord
would've ordered her to do so."

"The Lord."

All these things
mean the same thing..

..that my shop was razed down..

..due to the earthquake
caused by God.

That means it is an act of God.

It's His doing.

And, all those who
have suffered losses..

..due to Him, will have
to be compensated by God.

Otherwise, their collection agents.

Your Honour, Mr. Kanji is
trying to confuse Leeladhar..

..with his words.

Mr. Sardesai.

What are you doing?
Let him speak.

If it's proven that God exists..

..then we won't have to pay.

I see.

Now you want to blame us completely.
- Be quiet.

You cannot blame the Lord
to hide your sins. - Be quiet.

Because only we have
a copyright on God.

Copyright?
- Silence.

Just because you
constructed a few temples..

..you think God belongs to you..

Beware.

Our community won't spare you.

What's he..
- Silence!

Relax.

Until today I had heard
that God is venerated..

..He is worshipped, prayed to.

But now l see that
Gods have copyrights too.

God's copyright?

These people have
turned God into a brand.

Now I am assured
that God doesn't exist.

Not possible.

Because if He really existed..

..he would've rid
the world of imposters like you.

I've already proven what
I wanted to, Your Honour.

Now the verdict..

Mr. Kanji, are you alright?

Mr. kanji, are you alright?

Mr. Kanji.

Kanji bhai! Kanji bhai!

What's wrong with my brother?

Someone get water.

Kanji bhai! Kanji bhai!

Thank you.
- Call the ambulance.

Call the ambulance.

Yes, he's here.

Excuse me.
- Just a minute, just a minute.

Let me through.
- Please let us pass.

You cannot go inside.
- No, no, no.

Please, l said you cannot..
- But he's my husband.

I want to see him.

Doctor, is he alright?

It's a severe attack of paralysis.

And now he's gone into coma.

He's on ventilator and..

..only God can save him now.

The 400 crore in compensations
under the 'Act of God'..

..will now be paid out.

It was his wish that
we should pay, so we did.

Great, Lord.

Where am l?

Don't say that.

You're in the ICU.

Your wife and children are outside.

No one's allowed inside.

Then how did you come in?

I came here to wake you up.

It's time for you to get up.

You cussed God from your heart.

And where's the heart?

On your left.

So God has paralysed
your entire left side.

I am not saying this..

..it's the media outside
spreading this rumour.

I can cure you if you want.

So, you're a doctor now.

I am all in one.

Want to see a miracle.

Soaring around on the
bike isn't called miracle.

I see.

Here we go.

Krishna Vasudev Yadav, from Gokul.

Do you believe now?

"You're my mother, and my father."

"You're my friend,
and my companion."

I've donned the same
form you always see..

..on televisions,
calendars, movies.

I've been seen in
this form for ages.

And l'm standing before
you in that same form.

But Kanji bhai, I'm not like that.

You really..

Forgive me, forgive me.

Just like a devotee is
incomplete without his God..

..similarly, God is incomplete
without his true devotee.

Why didn't you show me
this miracle before?

That's the problem.

Friend.

I am Krishna,
that's why I perform miracles.

I'm not Krishna,
because l perform miracles.

That means you're real.

God exists.

And God isn't my father-figure,
he's my friend.

I am everyone's friend,
but no one understands me one.

People gave you a high position.

And you staggered.

Yes, but I am not
like people think of me.

I've common sense too.

I am not interested
in people's offerings.

I want them to
distribute all this to the poor.

All l care about is their faith,
their love, their belief.

Just a minute.

Belief?

But I never believed in You.

I was an atheist.

Why did You show
yourself to only me?

Kanji bhai, sit down.

Do you know what atheist means?

Someone who examines, thinks,
understands..

..and says that this is wrong.

The Lord doesn't exist.

He's an atheist.

That's why I appeared before you.

Because you did
everything a true atheist does.

And a true atheist can
become a real believer.

People come to me for
their own self-interest.

They come with
different exchange offers.

Exchange offer?

"Lord, if I pass my SSC exams.."

"..I will walk to
Siddhivinayak for 5 Tuesdays."

"lf Dominic's agrees to marry me.."

"..I will light 1 1 candles
at Mt. Mary."

"lf my wife gets pregnant.."

"..then I will come and
offer a blanket at your shrine."

Different offers.

And those who can't
blame me for it.

They say, we couldn't go there..

..because the Lord didn't call us.

The Lord didn't call?

Do they need a invitation card..
- Yes.

Do you want me to write
you an invitation card?

Don't l have anything better to do?

And anyway, Kanji bhai,
I am present in every element.

I am omnipresent.

If you're present everywhere..

..why have they built temples?

I've my own house.

I don't want to live
inside those four walls.

Then? Why did you
create such a religion?

I only created humans.

And humans started religion, caste.

And it's been going
on for years now..

..because you need it.

But one should
discard such a religion.

Never snatch the religion
from the people.

If you take them away,
they will make you their religion.

You don't believe it, do you?

You've been in coma for a month.

Let me show you what has happened..

..in the past one month.

Look.

Kanji Prabhu paid me
a visit in my dreams yesterday.

And he said he's
the 1 1th Avatar of Lord Vishnu.

What's going on?

Kanji Prabhu appeared
in his four-armed form.

Holding the mace, the conch..

People all around the world..

..are seeing signs
of Kanji's Godly form.

I was on night duty.

A just closed my eyes.

And someone slapped me.

And that's when I heard a voice,
"No sleeping on duty".

Circulate a few miraculous
stories of Kanji in the market..

..and people will
spread it like wildfire.

I had seen Kanji Prabhu
flying with his scooter.

He appeared suddenly.

10 feet, 15 feet, 20 feet.

Brother Kanji is God.

He is God.

The 'dharma gurus' have accepted
Kanji bhai's Kalki avatar..

..asked for an
apology and have decided..

..to pay the claims
worth 400 crore.

It was His will that we
should pay, so we did.

But why are you making him God?

Who told you that he is God?

Do you know...when you will die?

Do you?
- No.

I don't know either.

But he has decided his death day.

On 16th December as soon as
we switch off the ventilator..

..Kanji's story will be over.

But this time we've
incurred heavy losses.

400 crores in insurance claims.

One crore to the doctor.

And the expense to
construct the temple.

It's a onetime investment,
Mr. Mishra.

We'll recover it in a year.

And anyway, we haven't had
a new God for a long time now.

"Hail Lord Kanji Wala."

"Om Lord Kanji Wala."

"Sugar's high,
feeling breathless too."

"Cure my swine flu."
- Cure my swine flu.

I am going.
- Mahadev, wait.

Where are you going so hastily?

Forsake your anger.

The bed besides
Kanji bhai is empty.

Do you want me to
reserve that for you?

He will forsake his
body on his birthday.

His shrine will be built
right where his shop was.

That isn't all. Now watch this.

All arrangements to transport
Kanji bhai's tomb has been made.

You snatched their business..

..and they made you their business.

Yes.

Kanji bhai,
they've made an estimate..

..to earn 450 crores
from your temple.

You're God, you
should've stopped them.

Friend, l would've ended the
battle of Mahabharat in a second..

..if l had picked up the weapon.

But that isn't my job.

My job is to show
people right and wrong.

This is your temple, your battle.

You decide what you should do.

Fight if you want to,
or stay quiet.

Save him, please doctor.

We cannot do anything now.

And anyway, it's his last wish.

He is God.

Just a minute.

Wait here, we'll
bring the dead body out.

Donate as much as you wish in the donation
box kept in front of Kanji Prabhu..

..and have your wishes fulfilled.

The rate for VIP line is Rs. 101.

Welcome, welcome, Mahadev.

Swami, our very own Mahadeveshwar.

This is called destiny.

Kanji's chapter's going to
end right where it started.

Kanji bhai's body has gone
missing from the hospital.

The hospital
administration has no explanation.

Offerings made in
clarified butter, only Rs.25.

Where did Kanji disappear to?

Call Mr. Mishra.

There he is.

He isn't Spiderman. Find him.

I just found out. Don't worry.

I am there. I'll do something.

Kanji Prabhu's dead body can arrive
in the truck anytime now. - Go on.

Everyone please keep calm, everyone
will get a chance to behold him.

photographs of Sri Kanji Prabhu.

Kanji Prabhu's autobiography.

You are a fool.

I gave orders and you
set out to look for Kanji.

Who do you think he is?

Let's get out of here quietly,
otherwise..

..the people won't spare us.

Come on.

Kanji is alive.

Yes, I am alive.

What are you staring at?

I am the same Kanji whom
you've turned into God.

I don't know whether
you're great or fool.

I kept telling you don't
turn religion into business..

..you made him God and
started your business.

Tell me one thing.

The world's so beautiful, why
should God live only in temples?

I say, have faith in Him.

Believe in Him from your heart
and you will find God.

Try to find God in humans,
and you will find Him.

You will find Him in humans.

Not in these stones.

Not in these...stones.

They played with our emotions.

We won't spare them!

They spread the rumour
of your death as well.

They are the imposters.

Listen.

You kill two and there
are two hundred more.

Don't you see it on
television everyday?

Their real punishment is..

..let them leave respectfully.

Let them leave in
their expensive cars.

And no one will set foot in
their temples or hermitages.

Get that.

That will be their real punishment.

Please leave.

Faith and belief, are
very addictive, Kanji.

Once you're addicted to it,
you cannot let go easily.

All the people that you see here..

..they are not God-loving people,
they are God-fearing.

Sooner or later, you might
see them in hermitages again.

Be fearless!

So...won't you go along?

Come on, break the idol.

Papa.
- Where? Where is he?

I want you to promise that no
one will ever drop a penny..

..at any of the religious places.

What are you staring at?

Break the statue.

Here, come here.
- Come, I'll introduce you to Krishna.

What?
- Come that way.

Look, Kanji bhai,
they're felling the statue.

It's exactly like you wanted.

Look..

Who are you looking for, Kanji?

Didn't I say l am
present everywhere?

I am pouring on fields as the rain.

And making nests
along with the birds.

I am also taking lunch
with the ants down there.

Are you fine?
- Papa.

Yes, I am fine.

Whom did you want
us to introduce to?

No one.

What are you doing, Kanji?

Don't wear this around
your neck as a talisman.

You finally succeeded
in explaining people..

..that this is wrong.

Throw it.

Throw it away.

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