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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,000 --> 00:00:03,000 AND YOU'RE BOTH ON THE SAME PAGE WITH HOUSEHOLD RULES? 2 00:00:03,000 --> 00:00:05,000 R-RATED MOVIES, CURFEWS? 3 00:00:05,000 --> 00:00:07,000 I'M ONLY ASKING SO THESE ISSUES DON'T COME UP LATER. 4 00:00:07,000 --> 00:00:09,000 YEAH. NO, WE'RE -- WE'RE GOOD ON THAT. 5 00:00:09,000 --> 00:00:10,000 YEAH, DEFINITELY. 6 00:00:10,000 --> 00:00:12,000 WE'VE GOT A DIVORCE AGREEMENT. 7 00:00:12,000 --> 00:00:13,000 ALL THAT'S LEFT 8 00:00:13,000 --> 00:00:15,000 IS THE OFFICIAL PETITION AND RESPONSE FOR THE COURT. 9 00:00:15,000 --> 00:00:17,000 HAVE YOU TALKED ABOUT WHO'S GONNA FILE? 10 00:00:17,000 --> 00:00:18,000 WHAT -- WHAT IS THAT? 11 00:00:18,000 --> 00:00:21,000 LIKE, WHO'S DIVORCING WHO? 12 00:00:21,000 --> 00:00:23,000 YES. WHO'S THE PLAINTIFF AND WHO'S THE DEFENDANT? 13 00:00:28,000 --> 00:00:30,000 UM... DOES THAT MEAN SOMETHING? 14 00:00:31,000 --> 00:00:33,000 LEGALLY? NOT REALLY. 15 00:00:33,000 --> 00:00:34,000 IF YOU GO TO TRIAL, AND YOU WON'T, 16 00:00:34,000 --> 00:00:36,000 THE PLAINTIFF, OR PETITIONER, TESTIFIES FIRST. 17 00:00:36,000 --> 00:00:38,000 IT'S JUST A FORMALITY. SOMEONE HAS TO GO FIRST. 18 00:00:38,000 --> 00:00:40,000 RIGHT. [ CHUCKLES ] 19 00:00:40,000 --> 00:00:42,000 DOESN'T MATTER, RIGHT? 20 00:00:42,000 --> 00:00:44,000 OKAY. 21 00:00:44,000 --> 00:00:46,000 I MEAN, WELL, I'LL...BE THE PLAINTIFF. 22 00:00:47,000 --> 00:00:48,000 GREAT. IS THAT GOOD FOR YOU? 23 00:00:48,000 --> 00:00:51,000 YEAH. OKAY. YEAH, SURE. 24 00:00:51,000 --> 00:00:53,000 RACHEL, CAN WE GET TWO COPIES OF THE FINALIZED AGREEMENT? 25 00:00:53,000 --> 00:00:55,000 SHE'LL GET THOSE TO YOU, YOU TAKE THEM HOME 26 00:00:53,000 --> 00:00:55,000 AND LOOK THEM OVER, 27 00:00:55,000 --> 00:00:57,000 AND LET ME KNOW IF YOU HAVE ANY QUESTIONS. 28 00:00:57,000 --> 00:00:58,000 OKAY. ALL RIGHT. 29 00:00:58,000 --> 00:01:00,000 OH, THANK YOU. THAT WAS EASY. 30 00:01:00,000 --> 00:01:00,000 [ CHUCKLES ] 31 00:01:01,000 --> 00:01:02,000 WELL, THANKS SO MUCH, SHEILA. 32 00:01:02,000 --> 00:01:03,000 MY PLEASURE. 33 00:01:03,000 --> 00:01:05,000 OKAY. THANKS. 34 00:01:05,000 --> 00:01:08,000 THE DEFENDANT THING, THOUGH -- IT DOESN'T MATTER, RIGHT? 35 00:01:08,000 --> 00:01:10,000 NO. IT'S JUST A FORMALITY. 36 00:01:10,000 --> 00:01:11,000 OKAY. 37 00:01:11,000 --> 00:01:14,000 NO, IT JUST -- YOU KNOW, IT SOUNDS WEIRD. 38 00:01:14,000 --> 00:01:15,000 DO YOU WANT TO CHANGE IT? IT'S NO -- 39 00:01:15,000 --> 00:01:16,000 NO, NO, NO, NO. 40 00:01:16,000 --> 00:01:18,000 NO, NO. NO BIG DEAL. 41 00:01:22,000 --> 00:01:23,000 [ DOOR OPENS ] 42 00:01:25,000 --> 00:01:28,000 NAH. 43 00:01:28,000 --> 00:01:33,000 ♪ WHEN I GROW UP TO BE A MAN ♪ 44 00:01:33,000 --> 00:01:38,000 ♪ WILL I DIG THE SAME THINGS THAT TURN ME ON AS A KID? ♪ 45 00:01:38,000 --> 00:01:40,000 ♪ WILL I LOOK BACK AND SAY ♪ 46 00:01:40,000 --> 00:01:42,000 ♪ THAT I WISH I HADN'T DONE WHAT I DID? ♪ 47 00:01:42,000 --> 00:01:43,000 ♪ WILL I JOKE AROUND ♪ 48 00:01:43,000 --> 00:01:45,000 ♪ WILL I STILL JOKE AROUND ♪ 49 00:01:45,000 --> 00:01:46,000 ♪ AND STILL DIG THOSE SOUNDS ♪ 50 00:01:46,000 --> 00:01:49,000 ♪ AND STILL DIG THOSE SOUNDS ♪ 51 00:01:49,000 --> 00:01:55,000 ♪ WHEN I GROW UP TO BE A MAN? ♪ 52 00:01:55,000 --> 00:01:59,000 "PROTECT AND RESTORE THE DELICATE EYE AREA 53 00:01:59,000 --> 00:02:01,000 [ KNOCK ON DOOR ] WHILE REDUCING --" 54 00:02:01,000 --> 00:02:03,000 Bruce: HEY, BOSS, WHAT ARE WE CALLING 55 00:02:01,000 --> 00:02:03,000 THE SATURDAY SALES EVENT? 56 00:02:03,000 --> 00:02:05,000 OVERSTOCK? CLEARANCE? 57 00:02:05,000 --> 00:02:06,000 I'LL LEAVE THAT UP TO YOU 58 00:02:06,000 --> 00:02:08,000 BECAUSE THIS WEEKEND I'LL BE RELAXING 59 00:02:09,000 --> 00:02:12,000 IN MY, UH, "OUTDOOR SPA CABANA" 60 00:02:12,000 --> 00:02:15,000 ENJOYING MY, UH, "SEAWEED BODY WRAP." 61 00:02:15,000 --> 00:02:17,000 YOU KNOW, THOSE SEAWEED WRAPS SHRINK YOUR BALLS. 62 00:02:17,000 --> 00:02:19,000 OH, YOU'RE A BITTER MAN. 63 00:02:19,000 --> 00:02:21,000 YEP. [ BOTH LAUGH ] 64 00:02:21,000 --> 00:02:22,000 NEW CAR SHOW -- 65 00:02:22,000 --> 00:02:23,000 NOW THAT'S A PARTY. 66 00:02:23,000 --> 00:02:25,000 I REMEMBER ONE YEAR IT WAS IN ST. THOMAS, 67 00:02:25,000 --> 00:02:28,000 WITH A PRIVATE MASSEUSE IN EVERY ROOM. 68 00:02:28,000 --> 00:02:29,000 WHERE IS IT THIS TIME? 69 00:02:29,000 --> 00:02:30,000 ANAHEIM. 70 00:02:30,000 --> 00:02:32,000 TOUGH LUCK. 71 00:02:32,000 --> 00:02:34,000 YOUR OLD MAN GOING? NOPE. 72 00:02:34,000 --> 00:02:36,000 TOLD ME TO TAKE MELISSA AND HAVE THE TIME OF OUR LIVES. 73 00:02:36,000 --> 00:02:39,000 WHICH MELISSA COULD USE. OH, YEAH? 74 00:02:39,000 --> 00:02:40,000 YEAH, SHE'S, UH, TRYING TO FIND A JOB. 75 00:02:40,000 --> 00:02:42,000 IT'S ROUGH OUT THERE. SHE'S ALL STRESSED. 76 00:02:42,000 --> 00:02:44,000 WHY'S SHE NEED TO WORK? 77 00:02:44,000 --> 00:02:45,000 WELL, SHE DOESN'T NEED TO WORK. 78 00:02:45,000 --> 00:02:46,000 SHE WANTS TO WORK. 79 00:02:46,000 --> 00:02:48,000 YOU PUT THAT ON THE LIST OF REASONS 80 00:02:48,000 --> 00:02:49,000 I'LL NEVER UNDERSTAND WOMEN. 81 00:02:49,000 --> 00:02:51,000 THEY "WANT" TO WORK. 82 00:02:51,000 --> 00:02:53,000 [ LAUGHS ] 83 00:02:53,000 --> 00:02:55,000 HEY, I GOT SOME STUFF OF YOURS THAT I FOUND IN THE GARAGE. 84 00:02:55,000 --> 00:02:57,000 WHAT DO YOU GOT? 85 00:02:57,000 --> 00:02:58,000 JUST SOME GOLF THINGS. 86 00:02:58,000 --> 00:03:00,000 OH, YEAH? I'M NOT SURE WHAT ELSE 87 00:02:58,000 --> 00:03:00,000 IS IN HERE. 88 00:03:00,000 --> 00:03:02,000 LET'S SEE? OH, LOOK AT THIS. 89 00:03:02,000 --> 00:03:05,000 CHECK THIS OUT. I REMEMBER THESE. 90 00:03:05,000 --> 00:03:07,000 MY LUCKY SHOES. 91 00:03:07,000 --> 00:03:10,000 YEAH, I CAME PRETTY CLOSE TO THROWING THOSE OUT. 92 00:03:07,000 --> 00:03:10,000 OH, NO. 93 00:03:10,000 --> 00:03:11,000 NO, NO, NO. YOU CAN'T DO THAT. 94 00:03:11,000 --> 00:03:13,000 HEY, ARE YOU COMING TO THE BARBECUE? 95 00:03:13,000 --> 00:03:16,000 UM, YEAH. YEAH, I'M GONNA COME BY. 96 00:03:16,000 --> 00:03:18,000 GOOD. 97 00:03:19,000 --> 00:03:22,000 SO, UH...HOW'S HAROLD? 98 00:03:22,000 --> 00:03:24,000 HE'S GOOD. GOOD. 99 00:03:24,000 --> 00:03:26,000 GOOD. YEAH. SEEMS LIKE A GOOD GUY. 100 00:03:26,000 --> 00:03:27,000 HE'S NOT GONNA BE THERE. 101 00:03:27,000 --> 00:03:29,000 OOH, GOOD. [ BOTH CHUCKLE ] 102 00:03:29,000 --> 00:03:32,000 ALL RIGHT, SO, WHAT DO I DO? SHOULD I BRING SOMETHING? 103 00:03:32,000 --> 00:03:33,000 OH, NO, NO. 104 00:03:33,000 --> 00:03:35,000 I GOT IT COVERED. ALL RIGHT. 105 00:03:35,000 --> 00:03:38,000 HEY, WE CAN, UH, TOAST OUR NEW OFFICIALNESS. 106 00:03:38,000 --> 00:03:39,000 [ CHUCKLES ] YEAH, RIGHT. 107 00:03:39,000 --> 00:03:40,000 OKAY. [ CAR DOOR CLOSES ] 108 00:03:41,000 --> 00:03:43,000 [ ENGINE TURNS OVER ] 109 00:03:57,000 --> 00:03:58,000 Lawrence: CREEPIN' UP. 110 00:03:58,000 --> 00:04:00,000 Marcus: [ CHUCKLES ] YEAH, WELL, WALK AROUND WITH THAT HAIRCUT 111 00:04:00,000 --> 00:04:02,000 AND CUSTOMERS FEEL SORRY FOR YOU. 112 00:04:02,000 --> 00:04:04,000 [ ALL CHUCKLE ] YEAH. 113 00:04:04,000 --> 00:04:06,000 BAD HAIR. Hey, got this one. 114 00:04:07,000 --> 00:04:09,000 EXCUSE ME, GENTLEMEN, BUT I BELIEVE I'M UP. 115 00:04:10,000 --> 00:04:11,000 OH, SHIT! 116 00:04:11,000 --> 00:04:12,000 HEY, WHOA, WHOA, WHOA. 117 00:04:12,000 --> 00:04:14,000 IT WORKS BETTER IF YOU ACTUALLY WALK TOWARDS CUSTOMERS, TER. 118 00:04:14,000 --> 00:04:16,000 THAT'S MY AGENT. 119 00:04:16,000 --> 00:04:17,000 OH, THAT'S GOOD. 120 00:04:17,000 --> 00:04:19,000 HEY, SO WHAT'S THE PROBLEM, HOLLYWOOD? GO SELL HIM A CAR. 121 00:04:19,000 --> 00:04:20,000 NO, I CAN'T GO OUT THERE. 122 00:04:20,000 --> 00:04:22,000 I DON'T WANT HIM TO SEE ME LIKE THIS. 123 00:04:22,000 --> 00:04:24,000 YOU MEAN, LIKE US? 124 00:04:24,000 --> 00:04:26,000 YEAH, YOU KNOW WHAT? YOU AIN'T GEORGE CLOONEY, SON. 125 00:04:26,000 --> 00:04:28,000 ALL RIGHT, GET YOUR SORRY ASS OUT THERE. 126 00:04:28,000 --> 00:04:31,000 YOU'RE RIGHT. WHAT AM I DOING? 127 00:04:31,000 --> 00:04:33,000 I'M EMBARRASSED TO BE A SALESMAN? 128 00:04:33,000 --> 00:04:35,000 HE'S AN AGENT. 129 00:04:35,000 --> 00:04:37,000 TERRY ELLIOT! 130 00:04:37,000 --> 00:04:38,000 PHIL. HOW YOU BEEN, MAN? 131 00:04:38,000 --> 00:04:40,000 I BARELY RECOGNIZED YOU IN THAT SUIT. 132 00:04:40,000 --> 00:04:43,000 YEAH, WELL, YOU KNOW, GOES WITH THE TERRITORY. 133 00:04:43,000 --> 00:04:45,000 SO, UH, WHAT CAN I DO FOR YOU? 134 00:04:45,000 --> 00:04:47,000 ARE YOU LOOKING TO BUY A CAR OR... 135 00:04:47,000 --> 00:04:48,000 NO. 136 00:04:48,000 --> 00:04:51,000 UH, THE CRAZIEST THING CAME ACROSS MY DESK FOR YOU. 137 00:04:51,000 --> 00:04:54,000 I, UH -- I DIDN'T HAVE YOUR INFO, 138 00:04:54,000 --> 00:04:56,000 BUT I HEARD YOU WERE WORKING HERE. 139 00:04:56,000 --> 00:04:57,000 YEAH. 140 00:04:58,000 --> 00:04:59,000 WELL, ANYWAY, YOU REMEMBER YEARS AGO, 141 00:04:59,000 --> 00:05:01,000 THOSE OLD TV-DINNER COMMERCIALS? 142 00:05:01,000 --> 00:05:03,000 YOU WORE THAT SOMBRERO, KIND OF SILLY. 143 00:05:03,000 --> 00:05:06,000 YEAH. YEAH, I REMEMBER. 144 00:05:06,000 --> 00:05:08,000 WELL, APPARENTLY, THEY GOT LIKE TEN MILLION HITS ON YouTube, 145 00:05:08,000 --> 00:05:10,000 AND THE COMPANY WANTS TO BRING YOU BACK. 146 00:05:10,000 --> 00:05:12,000 WHAT? WHY? 147 00:05:12,000 --> 00:05:14,000 TEN MILLION HITS. 148 00:05:14,000 --> 00:05:15,000 LOOK, IT'S WORTH CHECKING OUT. 149 00:05:15,000 --> 00:05:17,000 IT'S NOT LIKE YOU EVEN HAVE TO AUDITION. 150 00:05:17,000 --> 00:05:18,000 LOOK, PHIL, I'M NOT REALLY INTERESTED 151 00:05:18,000 --> 00:05:22,000 IN, UM, BEEFING UP MY SOMBRERO REEL, OKAY? 152 00:05:22,000 --> 00:05:24,000 WELL, THIS IS A REALLY GOOD IDEA. 153 00:05:24,000 --> 00:05:26,000 IT'S 20 YEARS LATER. YOU GUYS HAVE KIDS NOW. 154 00:05:26,000 --> 00:05:27,000 WHOA. W-WHAT A MINUTE. 155 00:05:27,000 --> 00:05:29,000 THEY WANT ERIN TO DO THIS THING, TOO? 156 00:05:29,000 --> 00:05:31,000 THEY WANT YOU BOTH. I THINK YOU SHOULD DO IT. 157 00:05:31,000 --> 00:05:33,000 NATIONAL SPOT -- MONEY. WHO KNOWS? 158 00:05:33,000 --> 00:05:35,000 IT MIGHT BE THE CHANCE TO GET THINGS GOING AGAIN. 159 00:05:43,000 --> 00:05:44,000 LET'S DO IT. 160 00:05:44,000 --> 00:05:45,000 [ LAUGHS ] ALL RIGHT! 161 00:05:45,000 --> 00:05:46,000 I'LL SET UP THE MEETING. 162 00:05:46,000 --> 00:05:48,000 BY THE WAY, THEY'RE HAVING A HECK OF A TIME FINDING -- 163 00:05:48,000 --> 00:05:50,000 ERIN. YEAH, SHE'S ACTUALLY NOT ACTING ANYMORE. 164 00:05:50,000 --> 00:05:52,000 YOU WANT TO GIVE ME HER NUMBER? 165 00:05:50,000 --> 00:05:52,000 NO. 166 00:05:52,000 --> 00:05:54,000 NO, I'LL -- I'LL CALL HER. 167 00:05:59,000 --> 00:06:01,000 [ INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS ] 168 00:06:07,000 --> 00:06:08,000 YOU GUYS SEE THAT? 169 00:06:08,000 --> 00:06:10,000 WHAT? 170 00:06:10,000 --> 00:06:11,000 WE ORDERED. YOU SAID THE PHILLY SUB, RIGHT? 171 00:06:11,000 --> 00:06:12,000 THOSE WOMEN. I HELD THE DOOR OPEN FOR THEM -- 172 00:06:12,000 --> 00:06:14,000 NOT EVEN A GLANCE. 173 00:06:14,000 --> 00:06:15,000 SO? 174 00:06:15,000 --> 00:06:17,000 WELL, IT USED TO BE AN OCCASIONAL WOMAN 175 00:06:17,000 --> 00:06:19,000 WOULD CHECK ME OUT. 176 00:06:19,000 --> 00:06:21,000 NO. 177 00:06:21,000 --> 00:06:22,000 YEAH, MAN. I USED TO BE HOT. 178 00:06:22,000 --> 00:06:24,000 NO. NO. 179 00:06:24,000 --> 00:06:25,000 YOU WERE LUKEWARM ONCE. 180 00:06:25,000 --> 00:06:28,000 50 POUNDS AGO, YOU WERE LUKEWARM. 181 00:06:28,000 --> 00:06:30,000 NO, I-I WAS HOT, BUT THAT -- THAT'S NOT EVEN IT. 182 00:06:30,000 --> 00:06:31,000 WHAT IT IS, IS 183 00:06:31,000 --> 00:06:33,000 THERE'S A WHOLE GROUP OF WOMEN, 184 00:06:33,000 --> 00:06:36,000 LET'S SAY IN THEIR 20s, A WHOLE GENERATION OF WOMEN 185 00:06:36,000 --> 00:06:38,000 WHO I'M -- I'M NOT EVEN ON THEIR RADAR. 186 00:06:38,000 --> 00:06:40,000 I'M JUST INVISIBLE, YOU KNOW? 187 00:06:40,000 --> 00:06:42,000 THEY JUST LOOK RIGHT THROUGH ME. 188 00:06:42,000 --> 00:06:43,000 THEY PROBABLY LOOK HALFWAY THROUGH YOU 189 00:06:43,000 --> 00:06:46,000 AND THEN THEY HAVE TO REST A LITTLE. 190 00:06:46,000 --> 00:06:47,000 [ BOTH LAUGH ] 191 00:06:47,000 --> 00:06:48,000 WHAT DO YOU CARE ANYWAY? 192 00:06:49,000 --> 00:06:50,000 YOU'RE A MARRIED MAN. 193 00:06:50,000 --> 00:06:51,000 YEAH, AT LEAST YOU'RE NOT THE DEFENDANT. 194 00:06:51,000 --> 00:06:53,000 AND WE'RE BACK. YEAH. 195 00:06:53,000 --> 00:06:54,000 WHAT'S HE TALKING ABOUT? 196 00:06:55,000 --> 00:06:57,000 HE'S USING HIS SPECIAL SUPER-OBSESSING POWERS TO -- 197 00:06:57,000 --> 00:06:59,000 WILL YOU TELL HIM? I-I CAN'T DO IT JUSTICE. 198 00:07:00,000 --> 00:07:01,000 LOOK, SONIA AND I WENT TO MEDIATION, 199 00:07:01,000 --> 00:07:03,000 AND NOW I'M THE DEFENDANT. 200 00:07:03,000 --> 00:07:04,000 WELL, WHAT'S THAT MEAN? 201 00:07:04,000 --> 00:07:05,000 NOTHING. IT MEANS NOTHING. 202 00:07:05,000 --> 00:07:08,000 IT'S THE WORD -- "DEFENDANT," RIGHT? 203 00:07:08,000 --> 00:07:10,000 I MEAN, IT SOUNDS LIKE I'M THE BAD GUY. 204 00:07:10,000 --> 00:07:12,000 I GUESS. 205 00:07:12,000 --> 00:07:14,000 SO SHE'S, WHAT, THE PLAINTIFF? 206 00:07:14,000 --> 00:07:16,000 YEAH. RIGHT? IT'S -- 207 00:07:16,000 --> 00:07:18,000 LOOK, I KNOW IT'S GONNA SOUND STUPID, 208 00:07:18,000 --> 00:07:20,000 BUT IF WE'RE GONNA GET TECHNICAL HERE, 209 00:07:20,000 --> 00:07:22,000 SHE'S THE ONE WHO HAD THE AFFAIR. 210 00:07:22,000 --> 00:07:23,000 COME ON, JOE. 211 00:07:23,000 --> 00:07:24,000 I THINK YOU SHOULD JUST, YOU KNOW, BE HAPPY 212 00:07:24,000 --> 00:07:25,000 THAT THIS IS BEHIND YOU, YOU KNOW? 213 00:07:25,000 --> 00:07:27,000 YES, YES. 214 00:07:27,000 --> 00:07:29,000 OKAY, SO WE'RE COOL WITH 20 YEARS OF MARRIAGE ENDING 215 00:07:29,000 --> 00:07:30,000 IN A CRIMINAL RECORD? 216 00:07:30,000 --> 00:07:31,000 OKAY, GOT IT. 217 00:07:31,000 --> 00:07:32,000 GOOD. 218 00:07:32,000 --> 00:07:33,000 LISTEN, UM, DAY AFTER TOMORROW, 219 00:07:33,000 --> 00:07:35,000 I MAY BE A LITTLE LATE COMING IN. 220 00:07:35,000 --> 00:07:36,000 OKAY. WHAT FOR? 221 00:07:36,000 --> 00:07:38,000 YOU KNOW THOSE OLD COMMERCIALS THE GUYS AT WORK 222 00:07:39,000 --> 00:07:40,000 HAVE BEEN GIVING ME SHIT ABOUT? 223 00:07:40,000 --> 00:07:41,000 MM-HMM. 224 00:07:41,000 --> 00:07:43,000 THEY WANT TO REMAKE THEM. 225 00:07:43,000 --> 00:07:44,000 WHY? 226 00:07:44,000 --> 00:07:47,000 I KNOW, BUT, UM... 227 00:07:47,000 --> 00:07:50,000 WELL, THEY GOT THIS TONGUE-IN-CHEEK IDEA -- 228 00:07:50,000 --> 00:07:51,000 SO YOU JUST STARTED SELLING CARS 229 00:07:51,000 --> 00:07:53,000 AND NOW YOU'RE GOING BACK TO ACTING? 230 00:07:53,000 --> 00:07:56,000 LOOK, I AM COMPLETELY AT THOREAU, OKAY? 231 00:07:56,000 --> 00:07:57,000 BUT THAT DOESN'T MEAN THAT I CAN'T, OCCASIONALLY, 232 00:07:57,000 --> 00:07:59,000 EXPLORE ACTING JOBS, RIGHT? 233 00:07:59,000 --> 00:08:01,000 OH, GOD. YOU'RE TOTALLY GONNA SCREW ME, AREN'T YOU? 234 00:08:01,000 --> 00:08:02,000 NO, I AM NOT. 235 00:08:02,000 --> 00:08:04,000 I JUST PUT MYSELF WAY THE HELL OUT ON SHIT BOULEVARD 236 00:08:04,000 --> 00:08:05,000 TO GET YOU THIS JOB, 237 00:08:05,000 --> 00:08:07,000 AND NOW THAT YOU'RE FINALLY LEARNING HOW TO DO IT, 238 00:08:07,000 --> 00:08:08,000 AND GOODBYE? 239 00:08:08,000 --> 00:08:10,000 I DON'T EVEN KNOW IF I'M GONNA DO IT, OKAY? 240 00:08:10,000 --> 00:08:11,000 I THOUGHT IT MIGHT BE EASY MONEY, 241 00:08:11,000 --> 00:08:13,000 AND I'M HELPING OUT A FRIEND. 242 00:08:13,000 --> 00:08:15,000 YOU'RE HURTING A FRIEND. NOT YOU. 243 00:08:15,000 --> 00:08:16,000 A GIRL. 244 00:08:16,000 --> 00:08:17,000 [ Chuckling ] OH, OKAY. 245 00:08:17,000 --> 00:08:18,000 A GIRL. 246 00:08:18,000 --> 00:08:20,000 WHAT DO YOU GOT, ANOTHER 25-YEAR-OLD? 247 00:08:20,000 --> 00:08:22,000 NO, NO, OUR AGE. OUR AGE? 248 00:08:22,000 --> 00:08:25,000 HMM, THAT'S REPULSIVE. 249 00:08:25,000 --> 00:08:26,000 LOOK, SHE HASN'T ACTED IN A LONG TIME. 250 00:08:26,000 --> 00:08:28,000 SHE PROBABLY COULD USE THE MONEY. 251 00:08:28,000 --> 00:08:29,000 THEY NEED BOTH OF US TO DO THIS. 252 00:08:29,000 --> 00:08:33,000 I THOUGHT I WOULD BE A GOOD GUY. 253 00:08:37,000 --> 00:08:39,000 AH, SEE? NOW YOU'RE THE DEFENDANT, RIGHT? 254 00:08:40,000 --> 00:08:42,000 HOW'S THAT FEEL, MacGYVER? 255 00:08:43,000 --> 00:08:45,000 IT LOOKS THAT WAY NOW, BUT YOU'RE GONNA FIND A JOB. 256 00:08:45,000 --> 00:08:47,000 I'M JUST SAYING I STARTED OUT WITH SOME STANDARDS. 257 00:08:47,000 --> 00:08:49,000 I MEAN, NOW I'M JUST APPLYING FOR EVERYTHING 258 00:08:49,000 --> 00:08:50,000 WITH THE WORD "WRITING" IN IT -- 259 00:08:50,000 --> 00:08:52,000 PROOFREADER, WINE BLOGGER. 260 00:08:52,000 --> 00:08:55,000 SIX HOURS I WAS ON CRAIGSLIST YESTERDAY, 261 00:08:55,000 --> 00:08:57,000 AND ONE WOMAN E-MAILS ME BACK, FROM VEGETARIAN TIMES. 262 00:08:57,000 --> 00:08:59,000 I HAVE A PHONE INTERVIEW TOMORROW. 263 00:08:59,000 --> 00:09:00,000 WELL, SEE, THAT'S GOOD. 264 00:09:00,000 --> 00:09:03,000 [ SIGHS ] YEAH, UNTIL I TELL HER I'VE BEEN A MOM FOR 10 YEARS. 265 00:09:03,000 --> 00:09:04,000 WELL, PUT IT A DIFFERENT WAY. 266 00:09:04,000 --> 00:09:05,000 WELL, I'VE TRIED. 267 00:09:05,000 --> 00:09:07,000 "PERSONAL TIME," "SABBATICAL." 268 00:09:07,000 --> 00:09:09,000 LET'S JUST FACE IT -- I'M BEYOND IRRELEVANT. 269 00:09:09,000 --> 00:09:11,000 [ LOCK WHIRRING ] MAYBE I SHOULD JUST SAY 270 00:09:09,000 --> 00:09:11,000 I JUST GOT OUT OF JAIL. 271 00:09:11,000 --> 00:09:12,000 THAT SOUNDS MORE INTERESTING. 272 00:09:13,000 --> 00:09:14,000 AND WHY AM I HERE, ANYWAY? 273 00:09:14,000 --> 00:09:15,000 YOU KNOW, WE PAY JENNY ALL THAT MONEY 274 00:09:15,000 --> 00:09:16,000 TO STAY WITH THE KIDS. 275 00:09:16,000 --> 00:09:19,000 I JUST FOUND THIS NEW SITE. I COULD BE RESEARCHING... 276 00:09:23,000 --> 00:09:25,000 YOU DESERVE A VACATION. 277 00:09:25,000 --> 00:09:28,000 AND -- AND I'M NOT TRYING TO SAY 278 00:09:28,000 --> 00:09:31,000 THAT YOU SHOULDN'T BE OUT THERE LOOKING FOR A JOB, BUT... 279 00:09:31,000 --> 00:09:33,000 [ CHUCKLES ] 280 00:09:33,000 --> 00:09:36,000 THIS WEEKEND... 281 00:09:36,000 --> 00:09:39,000 I AM THE KING OF THOREAU CHEVROLET, 282 00:09:39,000 --> 00:09:41,000 AND YOU ARE ITS QUEEN. 283 00:09:41,000 --> 00:09:44,000 AND YOU WILL BE TREATED AS SUCH. 284 00:09:44,000 --> 00:09:46,000 OH! 285 00:09:46,000 --> 00:09:48,000 YES, MY KING. 286 00:09:48,000 --> 00:09:49,000 [ LAUGHS ] 287 00:09:49,000 --> 00:09:50,000 [ BOTH LAUGH ] 288 00:09:50,000 --> 00:09:52,000 THAT'S WHAT I'M TALKIN' ABOUT! 289 00:09:52,000 --> 00:09:54,000 MY SEXY BEAR. 290 00:09:54,000 --> 00:09:56,000 [ LAUGHS ] 291 00:09:56,000 --> 00:09:59,000 NOW, SEE, I'M THINKING MORE LIKE A JAGUAR, YOU KNOW, 292 00:09:59,000 --> 00:10:03,000 OR A PANTHER OR [GROWLS] 293 00:10:03,000 --> 00:10:06,000 [ GROWLS ] JUST...MM! 294 00:10:06,000 --> 00:10:08,000 WE OUGHT TO SHOW THIS BED A THING OR TWO. 295 00:10:08,000 --> 00:10:11,000 [ Laughing ] YOU BETTER WATCH YOURSELF. 296 00:10:11,000 --> 00:10:13,000 YOU BETTER WATCH YOURSELF, WOMAN. 297 00:10:13,000 --> 00:10:15,000 [ SIGHS ] 298 00:10:15,000 --> 00:10:17,000 'CAUSE I'M COMING FOR YOU. 299 00:10:20,000 --> 00:10:22,000 LIKE A PANTHER. 300 00:10:27,000 --> 00:10:29,000 [ SNORING ] 301 00:10:31,000 --> 00:10:33,000 ARRIBA! ARRIBA! 302 00:10:33,000 --> 00:10:35,000 DELICIOSO! 303 00:10:35,000 --> 00:10:36,000 ARRIBA! ARRIBA! 304 00:10:36,000 --> 00:10:38,000 HONEY, I'M HUNGRY! 305 00:10:43,000 --> 00:10:44,000 [ Ringing ] 306 00:10:44,000 --> 00:10:47,000 ERIN: Hi, It's Erin. Leave me a message. 307 00:10:47,000 --> 00:10:48,000 [ Beep ] 308 00:10:48,000 --> 00:10:49,000 YEAH, HEY, ERIN. IT'S TERRY. 309 00:10:49,000 --> 00:10:51,000 I WAS JUST...CHECKING IN, 310 00:10:51,000 --> 00:10:54,000 SEE IF YOU GOT MY MESSAGE ABOUT THAT COMMERCIAL THING. 311 00:10:54,000 --> 00:10:57,000 UM, BECAUSE, UH, YOU KNOW, IT SOUNDS LIKE A LOT OF FUN. 312 00:10:58,000 --> 00:10:59,000 AND I JUST THOUGHT I WOULD, YOU KNOW, TRY YOU AGAIN, 313 00:10:59,000 --> 00:11:01,000 AND MAYBE YOU'RE OUT OF TOWN 314 00:11:01,000 --> 00:11:03,000 OR YOU GOT MY MESSAGE AND YOU ALREADY LEFT ME A MESSAGE 315 00:11:03,000 --> 00:11:05,000 AND I JUST HAVEN'T SORT OF... 316 00:11:05,000 --> 00:11:08,000 SO, ANYWAY, UM, CALL ME BACK. 317 00:11:08,000 --> 00:11:10,000 [ CELLPHONE CHIMES ] 318 00:11:13,000 --> 00:11:14,000 OKAY. 319 00:11:19,000 --> 00:11:20,000 "NOT MY THING, BUT HAVE FUN." 320 00:11:21,000 --> 00:11:23,000 HOW ABOUT... 321 00:11:24,000 --> 00:11:25,000 OH, DAMN IT. 322 00:11:25,000 --> 00:11:27,000 NO. 323 00:11:27,000 --> 00:11:29,000 [ CELLPHONE CHIMES ] 324 00:11:29,000 --> 00:11:30,000 [ CHUCKLES ] 325 00:11:34,000 --> 00:11:36,000 TALK... 326 00:11:36,000 --> 00:11:37,000 MM... 327 00:11:38,000 --> 00:11:39,000 [ CELLPHONE CHIMES ] 328 00:11:41,000 --> 00:11:43,000 [ LAUGHS ] 329 00:11:44,000 --> 00:11:45,000 DELICIOSO! 330 00:11:45,000 --> 00:11:47,000 ARRIBA! ARRIBA! 331 00:11:49,000 --> 00:11:52,000 [ INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS ] 332 00:11:52,000 --> 00:11:55,000 I'M SORRY I FELL ASLEEP LAST NIGHT. 333 00:11:55,000 --> 00:11:58,000 OH, JUST MAKES YOU MORE RESTED FOR TONIGHT, SWEETHEART. 334 00:11:58,000 --> 00:11:59,000 YOU GOT THAT RIGHT. 335 00:11:59,000 --> 00:12:02,000 UM...OWEN THOREAU. 336 00:12:02,000 --> 00:12:04,000 HMM. I DON'T SEE YOU. 337 00:12:04,000 --> 00:12:05,000 I'M A DEALER, SO, UM... 338 00:12:06,000 --> 00:12:07,000 WAIT, YOUR NAME IS HERE, 339 00:12:07,000 --> 00:12:08,000 BUT IT SAYS YOU'RE ALREADY CHECKED IN. 340 00:12:08,000 --> 00:12:10,000 UM... 341 00:12:10,000 --> 00:12:12,000 YOU GONNA WASTE THE WHOLE MORNING DILLYDALLYING? 342 00:12:12,000 --> 00:12:14,000 YOUR MOTHER AND I CHECKED IN HOURS AGO. 343 00:12:14,000 --> 00:12:15,000 DADDY, WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE? I THOUGHT YOU WEREN'T COMING. 344 00:12:15,000 --> 00:12:17,000 I WASN'T. 345 00:12:17,000 --> 00:12:18,000 BUT YOUR MOTHER WASN'T HAVING IT. 346 00:12:18,000 --> 00:12:21,000 I TRIED TO TELL HER THIS THING'S IN ANAHEIM THIS YEAR, 347 00:12:21,000 --> 00:12:22,000 BUT SHE WANTED TO COME, 348 00:12:22,000 --> 00:12:24,000 SO I CALLED JEFF AND HE SET IT UP. 349 00:12:24,000 --> 00:12:26,000 GOT OURSELVES A NICE SUITE, TOO. 350 00:12:28,000 --> 00:12:29,000 THERE MUST HAVE BEEN SOME SORT OF A MIX-UP. 351 00:12:29,000 --> 00:12:30,000 MY FATHER MUST HAVE GOTTEN MY CREDENTIALS. 352 00:12:30,000 --> 00:12:32,000 WE HAVE THE SAME NAME. 353 00:12:32,000 --> 00:12:35,000 I CAN TRY TO ISSUE YOU A NEW PASS, BUT I'LL NEED A MANAGER. 354 00:12:35,000 --> 00:12:36,000 YOU GONNA LET SOME LITTLE GIRL 355 00:12:36,000 --> 00:12:38,000 IN A PLASTIC BADGE PUSH YOU AROUND? 356 00:12:38,000 --> 00:12:39,000 DADDY, LET ME HANDLE THIS. 357 00:12:39,000 --> 00:12:40,000 I'LL GET MY MANAGER. 358 00:12:40,000 --> 00:12:43,000 YOU CAN'T BE SOFT WITH STUPID PEOPLE. 359 00:12:43,000 --> 00:12:46,000 NOW, YOU READY TO HAVE SOME FUN? 360 00:12:46,000 --> 00:12:49,000 WHAT THE HELL JUST HAPPENED? 361 00:12:56,000 --> 00:12:58,000 [ SIGHS ] 362 00:12:58,000 --> 00:13:00,000 HMM. 363 00:13:03,000 --> 00:13:05,000 NOT GOOD TODAY. 364 00:13:05,000 --> 00:13:07,000 NO. 365 00:13:07,000 --> 00:13:09,000 NO, I GOT A LOT ON MY MIND TODAY. 366 00:13:09,000 --> 00:13:11,000 [ SIGHS ] 367 00:13:11,000 --> 00:13:12,000 YOU KNOW WHAT? IT'S SLOW, RIGHT? 368 00:13:12,000 --> 00:13:14,000 I'M GONNA GO -- I'M GONNA GO HOME, CHANGE MY CLOTHES, 369 00:13:14,000 --> 00:13:16,000 AND HIT A BUCKET OF BALLS AT THE RANGE. 370 00:13:16,000 --> 00:13:19,000 JUST, UM, TELL MARIA I'LL BE BACK IN LIKE AN HOUR. 371 00:13:19,000 --> 00:13:21,000 OKAY. 372 00:13:43,000 --> 00:13:44,000 SUDHEER? 373 00:13:45,000 --> 00:13:47,000 HI. 374 00:13:47,000 --> 00:13:48,000 WHAT THE... 375 00:13:49,000 --> 00:13:51,000 DAD, WHAT ARE YOU DOING? 376 00:13:51,000 --> 00:13:52,000 WHAT ARE YOU DOING? 377 00:13:52,000 --> 00:13:54,000 UM... OKAY, DON'T FREAK OUT. 378 00:13:54,000 --> 00:13:56,000 YEAH, I'M -- I'M... 379 00:13:57,000 --> 00:13:58,000 SUDHEER, YOU GOT TO GO HOME. 380 00:13:59,000 --> 00:13:59,000 Sudheer: OKAY. 381 00:14:00,000 --> 00:14:01,000 LOOK, LUCY... 382 00:14:02,000 --> 00:14:04,000 ALL RIGHT, HOW LONG -- CAN WE TALK ABOUT 383 00:14:02,000 --> 00:14:04,000 THIS LATER? 384 00:14:05,000 --> 00:14:08,000 I HAVE AP BIO IN 10 MINUTES. 385 00:14:08,000 --> 00:14:10,000 [ DOOR CLOSES ] 386 00:14:11,000 --> 00:14:12,000 SORRY. 387 00:14:12,000 --> 00:14:13,000 I'M -- I'M SO SORRY. 388 00:14:13,000 --> 00:14:15,000 YEAH, THAT'S NOT IT. 389 00:14:15,000 --> 00:14:16,000 OH, SORRY. I DON'T KNOW WHICH -- 390 00:14:16,000 --> 00:14:19,000 YEAH, THAT WAY. OH, OKAY. 391 00:14:19,000 --> 00:14:21,000 BYE, LUCY. 392 00:14:48,000 --> 00:14:49,000 Lucy: DAD, I'M GOING TO SCHOOL. 393 00:14:49,000 --> 00:14:52,000 HEY, WE'RE TALKING ABOUT THIS! 394 00:14:52,000 --> 00:14:55,000 DON'T THINK WE'RE NOT TALKING ABOUT THIS! 395 00:14:55,000 --> 00:14:58,000 THERE SHE IS. OUR FUTURE -- THE VOLT. 396 00:14:58,000 --> 00:15:01,000 CAN GO 40 MILES ON A CHARGE, ALL ELECTRIC, 397 00:15:01,000 --> 00:15:03,000 AND STILL GO 300 MORE ON A GAS-POWERED GENERATOR. 398 00:15:03,000 --> 00:15:05,000 IT'S A GAME CHANGER. 399 00:15:05,000 --> 00:15:07,000 Bernie: I REMEMBER WHEN THERE WAS NO ELECTRICITY! 400 00:15:07,000 --> 00:15:08,000 [ LAUGHS ] 401 00:15:08,000 --> 00:15:09,000 BERNIE BUSEN, SON OF A GUN! 402 00:15:09,000 --> 00:15:12,000 HELLO, DARLING. GOOD TO SEE YOU. 403 00:15:12,000 --> 00:15:14,000 LOU SALMASSI -- STILL ONLY FOUR FOOT TALL. 404 00:15:14,000 --> 00:15:16,000 YOU GOT IT. HOW YA DOIN', OWEN? 405 00:15:16,000 --> 00:15:17,000 GOOD, GOOD, GOOD. 406 00:15:17,000 --> 00:15:18,000 HOW'S BUSINESS? 407 00:15:18,000 --> 00:15:19,000 WELL, DON'T KNOW ABOUT YOU BOYS, 408 00:15:19,000 --> 00:15:21,000 BUT MY SALES HAVE NEVER BEEN BETTER. 409 00:15:21,000 --> 00:15:22,000 NOW I KNOW YOU'RE FULL OF SHIT. 410 00:15:22,000 --> 00:15:24,000 [ LAUGHTER ] 411 00:15:24,000 --> 00:15:25,000 BY THE WAY, HAVE YOU MET MY SON? 412 00:15:25,000 --> 00:15:27,000 OH! CHIP OFF THE OLD BLOCK. 413 00:15:27,000 --> 00:15:29,000 HEY. TALL LIKE YOUR POP. 414 00:15:29,000 --> 00:15:30,000 YOU A BALLPLAYER, TOO? WELL... 415 00:15:30,000 --> 00:15:33,000 NAH, NEVER WAS MUCH OF AN ATHLETE, THIS ONE. 416 00:15:33,000 --> 00:15:34,000 DIDN'T HAVE THE REFLEXES. 417 00:15:34,000 --> 00:15:37,000 HE'D EAT AN ATHLETE'S BREAKFAST, NEVER BURNED IT OFF. 418 00:15:37,000 --> 00:15:38,000 [ LAUGHTER ] 419 00:15:39,000 --> 00:15:41,000 EDNA, YVONNE, THIS IS MY DAUGHTER-IN-LAW, MELISSA. 420 00:15:42,000 --> 00:15:43,000 OH, IT'S NICE TO MEET YOU. 421 00:15:43,000 --> 00:15:45,000 LOVE YOUR OUTFIT. IT'S TARGET. 422 00:15:45,000 --> 00:15:47,000 REALLY? YOU'D NEVER KNOW. 423 00:15:47,000 --> 00:15:48,000 WELL, I DON'T KNOW ABOUT YOU GIRLS, 424 00:15:48,000 --> 00:15:50,000 BUT I AM HALF ASLEEP WITH THIS CAR TALK. 425 00:15:50,000 --> 00:15:51,000 WHY DON'T WE GO AND MINGLE? 426 00:15:51,000 --> 00:15:53,000 COME ON, DARLING. 427 00:15:54,000 --> 00:15:58,000 UH, HEY, UH, DADDY, UM, I KNOW THERE'S STUFF TO DO, 428 00:15:58,000 --> 00:16:00,000 UM, BUT MELISSA AND I WERE KIND OF HOPING 429 00:16:00,000 --> 00:16:02,000 FOR A CHANCE TO, YOU KNOW, RELAX A LITTLE. 430 00:16:03,000 --> 00:16:04,000 THIS IS NETWORKING, SON. 431 00:16:04,000 --> 00:16:06,000 DON'T WORRY ABOUT MELISSA. SHE CAN TAKE CARE OF HERSELF. 432 00:16:06,000 --> 00:16:09,000 YEAH. 433 00:16:11,000 --> 00:16:14,000 [ ELVIS' "CAN'T HELP FALLING IN LOVE" PLAYS ] 434 00:16:14,000 --> 00:16:19,000 ♪ WISE MEN SAY ♪ 435 00:16:21,000 --> 00:16:23,000 ♪ ONLY FOOLS... ♪ 436 00:16:23,000 --> 00:16:26,000 CAN WE GET THE SHOO SHEE FISH FILLET, 437 00:16:26,000 --> 00:16:28,000 SOME KHAO MOK KAI, 438 00:16:28,000 --> 00:16:31,000 AND SOME POOJA? 439 00:16:31,000 --> 00:16:32,000 THAT'LL DO IT. 440 00:16:32,000 --> 00:16:33,000 I DON'T SEE THAT ON THE MENU. 441 00:16:33,000 --> 00:16:35,000 IT'S NOT THERE. THANK YOU. 442 00:16:35,000 --> 00:16:37,000 [ CHUCKLES ] WHO ARE YOU? 443 00:16:37,000 --> 00:16:40,000 OH, WELL, THIS IS THE PART WHERE I CHANGE INTO 444 00:16:37,000 --> 00:16:40,000 MY NATIVE THAI COSTUME. 445 00:16:40,000 --> 00:16:42,000 "HONEY, I'M HUNGRY!" OH, GOD, TERRY, PLEASE. 446 00:16:42,000 --> 00:16:44,000 THOSE COMMERCIALS WERE TERRIBLE. 447 00:16:42,000 --> 00:16:44,000 NO, THEY -- 448 00:16:45,000 --> 00:16:47,000 MY FAMILY NEVER LET ME LIVE THEM DOWN. 449 00:16:47,000 --> 00:16:48,000 WELL, NOW WE'RE IN ON THE JOKE. 450 00:16:48,000 --> 00:16:50,000 YEAH, NO. 451 00:16:50,000 --> 00:16:51,000 SERIOUSLY, I CAN'T. 452 00:16:52,000 --> 00:16:55,000 ACTING MADE ME AN INSECURE MESS. 453 00:16:55,000 --> 00:16:56,000 I WAS SO WORRIED ABOUT AGING. 454 00:16:57,000 --> 00:16:58,000 I STARTED SLEEPING WITH MY EYEBROWS TAPED -- 455 00:16:59,000 --> 00:17:01,000 SCOTCH-TAPED LIKE THIS SO I WOULDN'T SCOWL IN MY SLEEP. 456 00:17:01,000 --> 00:17:03,000 I-I WENT THROUGH A PHASE 457 00:17:03,000 --> 00:17:06,000 WHERE I WOULD ONLY BUY GIANT COLLARS 458 00:17:06,000 --> 00:17:08,000 BECAUSE SOMEBODY TOLD ME, YOU KNOW, I HAD A BIG CHIN. 459 00:17:08,000 --> 00:17:10,000 AND I WAS WORRIED ABOUT THAT. 460 00:17:10,000 --> 00:17:11,000 [ CHUCKLES ] 461 00:17:11,000 --> 00:17:14,000 I REMEMBER THE MOMENT THAT I DECIDED TO JUST GET OUT. 462 00:17:14,000 --> 00:17:16,000 I WAS IN A CASTING DIRECTOR'S OFFICE, 463 00:17:16,000 --> 00:17:19,000 AND THIS WOMAN LOOKED AT ME IN THE EYE, AND SHE SAID, 464 00:17:19,000 --> 00:17:23,000 "HONEY, THERE ARE THINGS THAT HAPPEN TO A WOMAN'S FACE AT 35 465 00:17:23,000 --> 00:17:26,000 AND THEY'VE ALREADY HAPPENED TO YOURS." 466 00:17:30,000 --> 00:17:35,000 ♪ TAKE MY HAND ♪ 467 00:17:35,000 --> 00:17:37,000 YOU GOT A GREAT FACE. 468 00:17:37,000 --> 00:17:41,000 ♪ TAKE MY WHOLE LIFE, TOO ♪ 469 00:17:41,000 --> 00:17:43,000 [ BOTH LAUGH ] HE WAS JUST SO ADORABLE. 470 00:17:43,000 --> 00:17:44,000 [ CHUCKLES ] 471 00:17:44,000 --> 00:17:46,000 REMIND ME AGAIN, WOULD YOU? 472 00:17:46,000 --> 00:17:48,000 WHY NOTHING EVER HAPPENED BETWEEN US 473 00:17:48,000 --> 00:17:50,000 BACK WHEN WE WERE WORKING TOGETHER? 474 00:17:50,000 --> 00:17:53,000 WELL, I TOLD YOU, I DON'T DATE ACTORS. 475 00:17:58,000 --> 00:17:59,000 OH. 476 00:17:59,000 --> 00:18:00,000 OH, YEAH, NO. 477 00:18:00,000 --> 00:18:01,000 SORRY, NO. OH. 478 00:18:01,000 --> 00:18:04,000 WOW. NO, IT'S -- I'M -- 479 00:18:01,000 --> 00:18:04,000 I'M SORT OF SEEING SOMEONE. 480 00:18:04,000 --> 00:18:05,000 OKAY. I'M CONFUSED. I KNOW. 481 00:18:05,000 --> 00:18:07,000 I-I -- I'M SEEING SOMEBODY. 482 00:18:07,000 --> 00:18:09,000 I MEAN, WE'RE ON A BREAK, BUT I DON'T KNOW IF IT'S OFFICIAL, 483 00:18:09,000 --> 00:18:12,000 AND IT WOULDN'T BE RIGHT BECAUSE IT'S JUST A LONG TIME WITH HIM. 484 00:18:13,000 --> 00:18:14,000 NOT TO SAY THAT I'M -- 485 00:18:14,000 --> 00:18:15,000 OH, I'M SORRY. 486 00:18:15,000 --> 00:18:17,000 NO, NO. IT'S -- IT'S -- OKAY, GOOD NIGHT. 487 00:18:19,000 --> 00:18:21,000 [ DOOR CLOSES ] 488 00:18:22,000 --> 00:18:26,000 OH, TER, IT WAS -- IT WAS FUN, THOUGH, SO...THANKS. 489 00:18:26,000 --> 00:18:28,000 [ DOOR CLOSES ] 490 00:18:31,000 --> 00:18:32,000 OH, JUST SO WE'RE CLEAR, 491 00:18:32,000 --> 00:18:34,000 I-I DON'T WANT TO DO THE COMMERCIAL. 492 00:18:34,000 --> 00:18:35,000 SORRY. 493 00:18:35,000 --> 00:18:36,000 [ DOOR CLOSES ] 494 00:18:38,000 --> 00:18:41,000 DID YOU SEE SOME OF THOSE WOMEN YOUR MOTHER'S HANGING OUT WITH? 495 00:18:41,000 --> 00:18:45,000 I'VE NEVER SEEN SO MUCH BLING AND BOTOX IN MY LIFE. 496 00:18:45,000 --> 00:18:47,000 IT'S LIKE "THE REAL HOUSEWIVES OF CHEVROLET." 497 00:18:47,000 --> 00:18:49,000 OH, COME ON. IT'S NOT THAT BAD. 498 00:18:49,000 --> 00:18:51,000 WELL, IT'S JUST CONFIRMING HOW MUCH I NEED TO GO BACK TO WORK. 499 00:18:52,000 --> 00:18:53,000 I CAN'T BELIEVE HOW EXCITED I AM 500 00:18:53,000 --> 00:18:57,000 FOR A PHONE INTERVIEW FROM A CRAIGSLIST AD. 501 00:18:57,000 --> 00:19:01,000 AND I AM SPENDING THE REST OF THIS TRIP WITH YOU. 502 00:19:01,000 --> 00:19:02,000 END OF STORY. 503 00:19:02,000 --> 00:19:05,000 MM. 504 00:19:05,000 --> 00:19:08,000 SAYS HERE WE GOT A BANQUET TOMORROW. 505 00:19:08,000 --> 00:19:10,000 THAT'S GONNA SUCK. 506 00:19:10,000 --> 00:19:13,000 [ SIGHS ] 507 00:19:13,000 --> 00:19:15,000 THANKS. 508 00:19:15,000 --> 00:19:18,000 SO, YOU WALKED IN ON HER BOYFRIEND PEEING? 509 00:19:18,000 --> 00:19:19,000 [ CHUCKLES ] 510 00:19:19,000 --> 00:19:21,000 LOOK, I KNOW IT SOUNDS FUNNY... 511 00:19:21,000 --> 00:19:24,000 [ CHUCKLES ] AND, YEAH, THAT PART -- 512 00:19:21,000 --> 00:19:24,000 THAT'S A LITTLE FUNNY. 513 00:19:24,000 --> 00:19:26,000 BUT THE WHOLE THING -- VERY NOT FUNNY. 514 00:19:26,000 --> 00:19:29,000 OKAY. NO, IT'S REALLY -- 515 00:19:26,000 --> 00:19:29,000 IT'S NOT FUNNY. 516 00:19:29,000 --> 00:19:30,000 HA HA. NO. 517 00:19:30,000 --> 00:19:32,000 ALL RIGHT, WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO? 518 00:19:32,000 --> 00:19:33,000 I DON'T KNOW. 519 00:19:33,000 --> 00:19:35,000 I HAVEN'T TOLD HER MOTHER YET, 'CAUSE I JUST -- 520 00:19:35,000 --> 00:19:37,000 I WANT TO TALK TO HER FIRST ABOUT IT, YOU KNOW? 521 00:19:37,000 --> 00:19:39,000 AND THEN WE'LL FIGURE IT OUT. 522 00:19:39,000 --> 00:19:41,000 YEAH, THAT SOUNDS GOOD. 523 00:19:41,000 --> 00:19:43,000 OOH. I GOTTA GO. 524 00:19:43,000 --> 00:19:45,000 WHAT? I GOT TO SEE THE AD PEOPLE 525 00:19:43,000 --> 00:19:45,000 ABOUT THAT COMMERCIAL. 526 00:19:45,000 --> 00:19:46,000 OH, YEAH. 527 00:19:46,000 --> 00:19:48,000 YOU STILL PRETENDING YOU'RE DOING THAT AS A FAVOR 528 00:19:48,000 --> 00:19:50,000 FOR YOUR FRIEND, THE OLD LADY? 529 00:19:50,000 --> 00:19:52,000 ERIN IS OUR AGE, OKAY? 530 00:19:52,000 --> 00:19:55,000 AND, ACTUALLY, SHE'S NOT DOING THE COMMERCIAL. 531 00:19:55,000 --> 00:19:57,000 AND YOU'RE STILL DOING IT? 532 00:19:57,000 --> 00:19:59,000 YEAH. 533 00:19:59,000 --> 00:20:02,000 [ CHUCKLES ] OH, GOD. WELL, I GUESS OWEN WAS RIGHT. 534 00:20:02,000 --> 00:20:04,000 NO, NO. I'M NOT GONNA SCREW HIM. 535 00:20:04,000 --> 00:20:05,000 YEAH, OKAY. 536 00:20:05,000 --> 00:20:07,000 HEY, LOOK, YOU AND HE NEED TO UNDERSTAND SOMETHING, OKAY? 537 00:20:07,000 --> 00:20:08,000 I'M AN ACTOR. 538 00:20:08,000 --> 00:20:11,000 I MAY BE A CAR SALESMAN AT THE MOMENT, BUT I'M AN ACTOR. 539 00:20:11,000 --> 00:20:13,000 AND I WILL ALWAYS BE AN ACTOR. 540 00:20:13,000 --> 00:20:14,000 IT'S IN MY BLOOD. IT'S WHAT I LIKE TO DO. 541 00:20:15,000 --> 00:20:16,000 I'M AN ACTOR, OKAY? 542 00:20:16,000 --> 00:20:19,000 OKAY, ALL RIGHT. GEEZ, YEAH, YOU'RE AN ACTOR. 543 00:20:21,000 --> 00:20:23,000 GOTTA GO. 544 00:20:24,000 --> 00:20:27,000 BOY, YOU ACTOR TYPES ARE EMOTIONAL. 545 00:20:27,000 --> 00:20:28,000 [ TELEPHONE RINGS ] 546 00:20:28,000 --> 00:20:30,000 [ ELEVATOR BELL DINGS ] 547 00:20:30,000 --> 00:20:31,000 HI. 548 00:20:32,000 --> 00:20:34,000 UM, I'M HERE TO SEE MANNY KUSHNICK. 549 00:20:34,000 --> 00:20:35,000 ARRIBA! ARRIBA! 550 00:20:35,000 --> 00:20:36,000 [ Chuckling ] OKAY. 551 00:20:36,000 --> 00:20:38,000 SORRY. YOU MUST BE SICK OF THAT. 552 00:20:38,000 --> 00:20:40,000 NO, NO. NO. IT'S... ANYWAY, MR. ELLIOT, 553 00:20:40,000 --> 00:20:42,000 THEY'LL BE READY FOR YOU GUYS IN JUST ONE MINUTE. 554 00:20:42,000 --> 00:20:44,000 OH, ACTUALLY, IT'S JUST ME. 555 00:20:44,000 --> 00:20:47,000 UH, NO. YOUR WIFE IS HERE ALREADY. 556 00:20:52,000 --> 00:20:53,000 SORRY. HI. 557 00:20:53,000 --> 00:20:54,000 I WAS GONNA CALL YOU. 558 00:20:54,000 --> 00:20:57,000 I JUST, YOU KNOW, STARTED THINKING ABOUT IT, 559 00:20:57,000 --> 00:20:58,000 AND IT'S A LOT OF MONEY, 560 00:20:58,000 --> 00:21:01,000 AND, YOU KNOW, I'M A TEACHER ON A PUBLIC-SCHOOL SALARY. 561 00:21:01,000 --> 00:21:03,000 WHO AM I KIDDING, RIGHT? OKAY. 562 00:21:01,000 --> 00:21:03,000 OKAY, THEN. 563 00:21:03,000 --> 00:21:05,000 GREAT. [ SIGHS ] 564 00:21:06,000 --> 00:21:08,000 AND...I OWE YOU AN APOLOGY. 565 00:21:08,000 --> 00:21:09,000 OH, NO, NO. 566 00:21:09,000 --> 00:21:12,000 I COMPLETELY MISREAD THE SITUATION, SO... 567 00:21:12,000 --> 00:21:13,000 THEY'RE READY FOR YOU IF YOU WANT TO FOLLOW ME. 568 00:21:14,000 --> 00:21:15,000 OKAY. 569 00:21:15,000 --> 00:21:17,000 YOU GOOD? YES. 570 00:21:17,000 --> 00:21:18,000 YOU GUYS ARE SO CUTE TOGETHER. 571 00:21:18,000 --> 00:21:20,000 [ Chuckling ] OH, THA-- 572 00:21:20,000 --> 00:21:21,000 THANKS. 573 00:21:24,000 --> 00:21:25,000 Melissa: OH, NO, NO, NO, NO. 574 00:21:25,000 --> 00:21:27,000 I'M -- I'M -- I'M SORRY. I CAN'T HELP IT. 575 00:21:27,000 --> 00:21:29,000 I'M SORRY. I'M SORRY. 576 00:21:29,000 --> 00:21:30,000 THOUGHT YOU GUYS WERE GONNA SLEEP ALL MORNING. 577 00:21:30,000 --> 00:21:32,000 COME OVER HERE, SON. OVER HERE. 578 00:21:32,000 --> 00:21:34,000 HERE, HONEY. SIT DOWN. 579 00:21:34,000 --> 00:21:35,000 I WAS JUST TELLING THE GIRLS 580 00:21:35,000 --> 00:21:37,000 THAT THE SALESMAN AT THE GIFT SHOP HERE 581 00:21:37,000 --> 00:21:39,000 THOUGHT MY BALENCIAGA WAS A FAKE. 582 00:21:39,000 --> 00:21:41,000 AND I SAID, "YOU BETTER NOT TELL THAT TO MY HUSBAND." 583 00:21:41,000 --> 00:21:43,000 [ LAUGHTER, GLASS CLINKING ] 584 00:21:43,000 --> 00:21:45,000 UM, AS LONG AS WE ARE GATHERED HERE, 585 00:21:45,000 --> 00:21:47,000 I'D LIKE TO SAY A FEW WORDS. 586 00:21:47,000 --> 00:21:50,000 I'VE KNOWN YOU GUYS FOR MORE YEARS THAN I CARE TO REMEMBER. 587 00:21:50,000 --> 00:21:54,000 YOU ARE, IN MY ESTIMATION, THE BEST IN THE BUSINESS, 588 00:21:54,000 --> 00:21:57,000 AND I'D LIKE TO COUNT MYSELF IN THAT CATEGORY, 589 00:21:57,000 --> 00:22:00,000 BUT AS LONG AS WE'RE HERE CELEBRATING THE FUTURE OF CARS, 590 00:22:00,000 --> 00:22:02,000 I THINK IT IMPORTANT TO ACKNOWLEDGE 591 00:22:02,000 --> 00:22:05,000 THAT SOME OF US ARE... ANTIQUES. 592 00:22:05,000 --> 00:22:06,000 [ LAUGHTER ] 593 00:22:07,000 --> 00:22:09,000 WHAT WAS THE FUTURE IS NOW THE PRESENT -- 594 00:22:09,000 --> 00:22:10,000 MY SON. 595 00:22:10,000 --> 00:22:13,000 HE'S PUT IN A LOT OF YEARS WITH ME. 596 00:22:13,000 --> 00:22:16,000 I'M NOT ALWAYS THE EASIEST GUY TO WORK WITH. 597 00:22:17,000 --> 00:22:22,000 I'M LUCKY TO HAVE HIM AS THE NEW FACE OF THOREAU CHEVROLET. 598 00:22:22,000 --> 00:22:24,000 [ APPLAUSE ] 599 00:22:24,000 --> 00:22:27,000 WELL, STAND UP, SON. SAY A FEW WORDS. 600 00:22:27,000 --> 00:22:29,000 UM... 601 00:22:29,000 --> 00:22:31,000 THANKS, DADDY. 602 00:22:31,000 --> 00:22:33,000 UM, IT'S, UH... 603 00:22:33,000 --> 00:22:35,000 IT'S, UH -- IT'S NICE TO FINALLY MEET YOU ALL. 604 00:22:35,000 --> 00:22:38,000 UM... 605 00:22:39,000 --> 00:22:41,000 UH... 606 00:22:41,000 --> 00:22:44,000 I GUESS I'M THE NEW MODEL THOREAU. 607 00:22:44,000 --> 00:22:47,000 UM, THERE'S NOT AS MANY -- MANY MILES ON THIS ONE, 608 00:22:48,000 --> 00:22:49,000 BUT AS YOU CAN SEE, 609 00:22:49,000 --> 00:22:51,000 THEY HAVEN'T REALLY STREAMLINED THE DESIGN, SO... 610 00:22:51,000 --> 00:22:52,000 [ LAUGHTER ] 611 00:22:52,000 --> 00:22:55,000 UM, BUT SERIOUSLY, FOLKS, 612 00:22:55,000 --> 00:22:58,000 IT'S GREAT TO BE HERE WITH YOU. 613 00:22:58,000 --> 00:22:59,000 AND, UM... 614 00:22:59,000 --> 00:23:01,000 AND, DADDY, I KNOW HOW HARD YOU'VE WORKED, 615 00:23:01,000 --> 00:23:03,000 AND I JUST HOPE THAT I CAN DO YOU PROUD. 616 00:23:06,000 --> 00:23:07,000 HEAR, HEAR. 617 00:23:11,000 --> 00:23:13,000 LET'S EAT UP QUICK, SON. 618 00:23:13,000 --> 00:23:15,000 YOU AND I GOT A LOT OF WORK AHEAD OF US. 619 00:23:16,000 --> 00:23:17,000 DON'T WORRY, SWEETHEART. 620 00:23:18,000 --> 00:23:20,000 WE'RE GOING TO SPEND THE ENTIRE DAY AT THE SPA. 621 00:23:20,000 --> 00:23:22,000 Woman: MM. 622 00:23:22,000 --> 00:23:24,000 [ NOTES PLAY ] 623 00:23:26,000 --> 00:23:27,000 HI. 624 00:23:27,000 --> 00:23:29,000 HEY. 625 00:23:29,000 --> 00:23:30,000 WHERE -- WHERE YOU GOING? 626 00:23:30,000 --> 00:23:31,000 I JUST CAME HOME FOR A SECOND. I'M GOING OUT AGAIN. 627 00:23:31,000 --> 00:23:34,000 YEAH, I KNOW, BUT I WANT TO -- I THINK WE SHOULD -- 628 00:23:34,000 --> 00:23:35,000 LUCY, CAN WE TALK A MINUTE? 629 00:23:35,000 --> 00:23:36,000 LUCY... 630 00:23:36,000 --> 00:23:38,000 I'M LATE TO MEET MEGAN. 631 00:23:38,000 --> 00:23:40,000 LOOK, LISTEN, CAN YOU GIVE ME A MINUTE, PLEASE? 632 00:23:40,000 --> 00:23:42,000 FINE, GO AHEAD. 633 00:23:42,000 --> 00:23:45,000 [ OFF-KEY NOTES PLAY ] 634 00:23:45,000 --> 00:23:49,000 ALL RIGHT, LOOK... ABOUT YESTERDAY... 635 00:23:49,000 --> 00:23:51,000 YOU CAN'T BE DOING THAT THING IN MY HOUSE. 636 00:23:51,000 --> 00:23:52,000 I KNOW. I SAID I'M SORRY. 637 00:23:52,000 --> 00:23:54,000 AND ALSO... 638 00:23:54,000 --> 00:23:58,000 JUST -- I'M NOT HAPPY... 639 00:23:58,000 --> 00:23:59,000 HOW LONG HAVE YOU BEEN -- 640 00:23:59,000 --> 00:24:01,000 SUDHEER AND I ARE TOTALLY IN LOVE. 641 00:24:01,000 --> 00:24:02,000 I DON'T KNOW WHAT THE PROBLEM IS, OKAY? 642 00:24:02,000 --> 00:24:04,000 DID YOU EXPECT ME TO GO TO COLLEGE A VIRGIN? 643 00:24:06,000 --> 00:24:08,000 WHY NOT? 644 00:24:08,000 --> 00:24:11,000 I WAS 22 WHEN... FIRST TIME. 645 00:24:11,000 --> 00:24:12,000 [ Sarcastically ] OKAY, DAD. 646 00:24:12,000 --> 00:24:14,000 NO, REALLY, I WAS. 647 00:24:15,000 --> 00:24:16,000 AW, DAD. 648 00:24:18,000 --> 00:24:20,000 ALL RIGHT, LOOK, WE'RE GONNA ESTABLISH GROUND RULES HERE 649 00:24:20,000 --> 00:24:22,000 'CAUSE, UH... 650 00:24:22,000 --> 00:24:24,000 NO BOYS IN THE HOUSE WHEN I'M NOT HERE. 651 00:24:24,000 --> 00:24:25,000 FINE. 652 00:24:25,000 --> 00:24:27,000 AND YOU CAN'T USE MY CONDOMS. 653 00:24:27,000 --> 00:24:28,000 EW. 654 00:24:28,000 --> 00:24:31,000 OH, MY GOD. WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? 655 00:24:31,000 --> 00:24:33,000 WELL, I KNOW ALBERT DIDN'T TAKE THEM. 656 00:24:33,000 --> 00:24:35,000 UGH. THAT IS SO GROSS! 657 00:24:35,000 --> 00:24:37,000 ARE WE DONE? CAN I GO? 658 00:24:37,000 --> 00:24:38,000 NO, NO, NO, NO, NO. LOOK, COME ON. 659 00:24:38,000 --> 00:24:40,000 NO, I WANT TO TALK ABOUT THIS SOME MORE. 660 00:24:40,000 --> 00:24:42,000 WE JUST DID, AND, ANYWAY, IT'S NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS. 661 00:24:42,000 --> 00:24:43,000 NONE OF MY -- 662 00:24:43,000 --> 00:24:44,000 NONE OF MY BUSINESS? 663 00:24:44,000 --> 00:24:46,000 HO-- HOLD ON. WHERE YOU GOING? 664 00:24:46,000 --> 00:24:48,000 TO MEET MEGAN. NO, YOU'RE NOT! 665 00:24:48,000 --> 00:24:49,000 WE'RE IN THE MIDDLE OF SOMETHING. 666 00:24:49,000 --> 00:24:51,000 I'M NOT TALKING ABOUT IT, DAD. 667 00:24:51,000 --> 00:24:52,000 YES, YOU ARE! YOU HAVE TO TALK ABOUT THIS! 668 00:24:52,000 --> 00:24:53,000 WELL, I'M NOT! I'M NOT. 669 00:24:53,000 --> 00:24:55,000 I DON'T WANT TO, DAD. I'M GOING OUT. 670 00:24:55,000 --> 00:24:57,000 YOU'RE NOT -- YOU CAN'T GO OUT! YOU'RE GROUNDED! 671 00:24:57,000 --> 00:25:00,000 WHAT?! YEAH, THAT'S RIGHT. 672 00:24:57,000 --> 00:25:00,000 FOR A WEEK, OKAY? 673 00:25:00,000 --> 00:25:01,000 AND NO CAR. 674 00:25:01,000 --> 00:25:03,000 FINE! I'M GOING TO MOM'S, ANYWAY. 675 00:25:03,000 --> 00:25:05,000 WELL, YOU'RE GROUNDED OVER THERE, TOO. 676 00:25:05,000 --> 00:25:06,000 YOU CAN'T GROUND ME AT ANOTHER HOUSE! 677 00:25:06,000 --> 00:25:07,000 I HAVE TO GO TO THE BARBECUE! 678 00:25:07,000 --> 00:25:08,000 WELL, YOU'RE NOT GOING TO THAT. 679 00:25:08,000 --> 00:25:09,000 IT'S IN THE BACKYARD. 680 00:25:09,000 --> 00:25:10,000 GOOD, GOOD, GOOD, 681 00:25:11,000 --> 00:25:12,000 THEN MAYBE YOU'LL WATCH IT FROM YOUR WINDOW. 682 00:25:12,000 --> 00:25:14,000 OH, MY GOD! WHAT IS YOUR PROBLEM?! 683 00:25:18,000 --> 00:25:20,000 Albert: HEY, DAD, IS THIS THE BLUES?! 684 00:25:20,000 --> 00:25:23,000 [ OFF-KEY NOTES PLAY ] 685 00:25:27,000 --> 00:25:30,000 OH, MELISSA, YOU SHOULD FEEL HOW SMOOTH IT IS. 686 00:25:30,000 --> 00:25:33,000 WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU HAD YOUR FEET WAXED? 687 00:25:33,000 --> 00:25:35,000 WELL, THIS IS ACTUALLY MY FIRST TIME. 688 00:25:35,000 --> 00:25:38,000 MY DEAR, YOU DESERVE SOME PAMPERING. 689 00:25:38,000 --> 00:25:39,000 WE ALL DO. 690 00:25:39,000 --> 00:25:42,000 THIS IS THE HIGHLIGHT OF MY YEAR. 691 00:25:43,000 --> 00:25:45,000 [ GASPS ] MY GOD. 692 00:25:45,000 --> 00:25:46,000 WHAT'S WRONG? MY INTERVIEW. 693 00:25:47,000 --> 00:25:48,000 OH, NO, NO, NO, NO. 694 00:25:48,000 --> 00:25:50,000 MELISSA, HONEY, YOUR NAILS. MELISSA. 695 00:25:50,000 --> 00:25:52,000 SHIT, SHIT, SHIT! 696 00:25:52,000 --> 00:25:54,000 STUPID RECEPTION! DAMN IT! 697 00:25:54,000 --> 00:25:56,000 WHAT HAPPENED? 698 00:25:56,000 --> 00:25:58,000 [ ENGINE REVVING ] 699 00:25:59,000 --> 00:26:00,000 FOR AN OLD MAN, YOU SURE DRIVE LIKE AN OLD LADY. 700 00:26:01,000 --> 00:26:02,000 DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT. I'M GONNA MAKE IT UP ON THE BACK STRETCH. 701 00:26:02,000 --> 00:26:05,000 YEAH. OH! 702 00:26:05,000 --> 00:26:06,000 STAY OFF THE GRASS, MAN. 703 00:26:06,000 --> 00:26:08,000 DAMN LOW BANKING, THIS THING IS -- 704 00:26:08,000 --> 00:26:09,000 HERE WE GO! HERE WE GO! HERE WE GO! 705 00:26:09,000 --> 00:26:10,000 OH! 706 00:26:10,000 --> 00:26:11,000 STILL GOT THEM REFLEXES, THOUGH, DON'T I? 707 00:26:11,000 --> 00:26:12,000 [ CHUCKLES ] 708 00:26:12,000 --> 00:26:15,000 LET'S SEE WHAT YOU GOT, HOT SHOT. 709 00:26:15,000 --> 00:26:17,000 HERE'S WHAT I GOT, OLD MAN. 710 00:26:17,000 --> 00:26:18,000 YEAH! OH, NO, NO, NO, NO! 711 00:26:18,000 --> 00:26:19,000 WHOO! 712 00:26:19,000 --> 00:26:21,000 NO, NO, NO, NO. 713 00:26:21,000 --> 00:26:23,000 WHO'S GOT THE REFLEXES NOW? YES! 714 00:26:23,000 --> 00:26:26,000 HI, TINA. THIS IS MELISSA THOREAU. 715 00:26:26,000 --> 00:26:29,000 I THINK I MAY HAVE MISSED YOUR CALL. 716 00:26:29,000 --> 00:26:32,000 I HAD BAD RECEPTION, BUT I'M -- BUT I'M ON A LANDLINE NOW. 717 00:26:32,000 --> 00:26:36,000 SO, ANYWAY, OKAY, SO I'LL -- I'LL -- I'LL CALL YOU LATER. 718 00:26:38,000 --> 00:26:40,000 [ RECEIVER CLICKS ] 719 00:26:40,000 --> 00:26:42,000 Sharon: DO YOU THINK WE SHOULD GO TO THE JADE ROOM? 720 00:26:42,000 --> 00:26:45,000 OH, NO, NO. LET'S HEAD OVER TO THE HOT POOLS. 721 00:26:45,000 --> 00:26:46,000 HOW'S THAT? 722 00:26:47,000 --> 00:26:48,000 HE SAYS HE'S GONNA RETIRE. 723 00:26:48,000 --> 00:26:50,000 I KNOW. BERNIE SAYS THE SAME THING, 724 00:26:50,000 --> 00:26:51,000 BUT HE WOULDN'T KNOW WHAT TO DO WITH HIMSELF. 725 00:26:51,000 --> 00:26:53,000 THAT'S WHO HE IS. 726 00:26:53,000 --> 00:26:55,000 LISTEN, I JUST WANT TO GO GET A LITTLE MORE OF 727 00:26:53,000 --> 00:26:55,000 THAT CUCUMBER WATER. 728 00:26:55,000 --> 00:26:58,000 [ INDISTINCT CONVERSATION ] 729 00:27:28,000 --> 00:27:30,000 [ INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS ] 730 00:27:33,000 --> 00:27:37,000 Hi, it's Tina. Leave a message. 731 00:27:37,000 --> 00:27:40,000 HI, TINA. THIS IS MELISSA THOREAU. 732 00:27:40,000 --> 00:27:43,000 I-I JUST WANTED TO TRY YOU AGAIN. 733 00:27:43,000 --> 00:27:45,000 GUESS WE MISSED EACH OTHER. 734 00:27:45,000 --> 00:27:48,000 SO, GO AHEAD AND GIVE ME A CALL WHEN YOU HAVE A CHANCE 735 00:27:48,000 --> 00:27:50,000 AND -- AND WE'LL TRY TO RESCHEDULE. 736 00:27:50,000 --> 00:27:52,000 THANKS. 737 00:27:54,000 --> 00:27:55,000 MAKING BUSINESS CALLS? 738 00:27:55,000 --> 00:27:57,000 'CAUSE, YOU KNOW, THIS IS A WORK-FREE ZONE. 739 00:27:57,000 --> 00:27:58,000 OH. [ CHUCKLES ] 740 00:27:58,000 --> 00:28:00,000 I MISSED THIS...INTERVIEW. 741 00:28:00,000 --> 00:28:02,000 I WAS BUSY GETTING MY FEET WAXED. 742 00:28:03,000 --> 00:28:05,000 WELL, AT LEAST YOU GOT YOUR PRIORITIES STRAIGHT, HUH? 743 00:28:05,000 --> 00:28:07,000 HEY, LET ME GET ANOTHER VODKA TONIC. 744 00:28:07,000 --> 00:28:08,000 DID YOU WANT SOMETHING? 745 00:28:08,000 --> 00:28:11,000 HOW EARLY IS TOO EARLY FOR A MARGARITA? 746 00:28:11,000 --> 00:28:13,000 IT'S 3:00. ARE YOU KIDDING? YOU'RE ALL SET. 747 00:28:13,000 --> 00:28:15,000 A MARGARITA FOR THE LADY. LET'S GO. 748 00:28:15,000 --> 00:28:17,000 SO, ARE YOU ALL HERE FOR THE CONVENTION, TOO? 749 00:28:17,000 --> 00:28:18,000 DRAGGED HERE BY MY HUSBAND. 750 00:28:18,000 --> 00:28:20,000 SO WE'RE HIDING OUT AND WE'RE GETTING DRUNK. 751 00:28:20,000 --> 00:28:21,000 AH. 752 00:28:21,000 --> 00:28:22,000 WHY DIDN'T I THINK OF THAT SOONER? 753 00:28:22,000 --> 00:28:23,000 [ LAUGHTER ] 754 00:28:23,000 --> 00:28:25,000 SO, TELL ME... OH, THANK YOU. 755 00:28:25,000 --> 00:28:27,000 WHAT IS IT THAT YOU DO? 756 00:28:28,000 --> 00:28:30,000 I JUST GOT OUT OF JAIL. 757 00:28:30,000 --> 00:28:32,000 [ LAUGHTER ] 758 00:28:33,000 --> 00:28:36,000 Man: LOOK, THIS IS THE AMOUNT I'M PREPARED TO PAY. 759 00:28:36,000 --> 00:28:37,000 Lawrence: SIR, I HEAR WHERE YOU'RE COMING FROM, PRICE-WISE, 760 00:28:38,000 --> 00:28:40,000 BUT THE MODEL YOU'RE LOOKING AT IS REALLY POPULAR. 761 00:28:40,000 --> 00:28:42,000 YOU WANT TO ROB ME? 762 00:28:42,000 --> 00:28:44,000 TAKE IT! I GIVE UP! 763 00:28:44,000 --> 00:28:46,000 [ SIGHS ] 764 00:28:46,000 --> 00:28:47,000 [ CELLPHONE VIBRATES ] 765 00:28:47,000 --> 00:28:48,000 I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO WITH YOU GUYS. I COME IN HERE. 766 00:28:48,000 --> 00:28:50,000 I GET A DIFFERENT GUY WHO TELLS ME DIFFERENT NUMBERS. 767 00:28:50,000 --> 00:28:52,000 HEY, PHIL. WHAT'S THE WORD? 768 00:28:52,000 --> 00:28:54,000 LOOK, TERRY, I HATE MAKING THIS PHONE CALL. 769 00:28:54,000 --> 00:28:56,000 LISTEN, THEY LIKED YOU, BUT... 770 00:28:56,000 --> 00:28:57,000 IT'S NOT GONNA GO ANY FURTHER. 771 00:28:57,000 --> 00:28:58,000 WOW, YOU ARE ONE BITTER PRICK. 772 00:28:58,000 --> 00:29:00,000 NAH, I'M JUST MESSING WITH YOU. 773 00:29:00,000 --> 00:29:02,000 POP SOME CHAMPAGNE, BROTHER. YOU JUST BOOKED YOURSELF A JOB! 774 00:29:02,000 --> 00:29:03,000 YOU SON OF A BITCH. 775 00:29:03,000 --> 00:29:05,000 [ CHUCKLES ] Oh, man. 776 00:29:05,000 --> 00:29:07,000 GOOD. THAT'S GREAT. THAT'S GREAT. THAT'S GREAT NEWS. 777 00:29:07,000 --> 00:29:10,000 HEY, DID YOU CALL ERIN YET? 'CAUSE I CAN -- 778 00:29:10,000 --> 00:29:12,000 WHOA, WAIT, WAIT, WAIT. 779 00:29:12,000 --> 00:29:13,000 WHAT? 780 00:29:13,000 --> 00:29:14,000 They said they want to go with somebody younger. 781 00:29:14,000 --> 00:29:15,000 YOU KNOW, WHATEVER, HOTTER. 782 00:29:15,000 --> 00:29:16,000 YOU KNOW HOW THESE AD PEOPLE ARE. 783 00:29:16,000 --> 00:29:18,000 YOU'RE KIDDING ME, RIGHT? RIGHT? 784 00:29:18,000 --> 00:29:19,000 'CAUSE SHE'S YOUNGER THAN ME. 785 00:29:19,000 --> 00:29:21,000 YEAH, WELL, WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO? 786 00:29:21,000 --> 00:29:22,000 I mean, it's different for men. 787 00:29:22,000 --> 00:29:23,000 THEY THINK YOU'RE FUNNY, TERRY. 788 00:29:23,000 --> 00:29:26,000 THEY FIGURE IT'S GONNA BE WACKY DAD AND HIS HOT DAUGHTER. 789 00:29:26,000 --> 00:29:27,000 YOU KNOW THE DEAL. 790 00:29:27,000 --> 00:29:28,000 Look, it's a good gig, Terry. 791 00:29:28,000 --> 00:29:30,000 It's only gonna lead to more work. 792 00:29:30,000 --> 00:29:32,000 You'll be out of that car dealership in no time. 793 00:29:32,000 --> 00:29:34,000 DID YOU CALL ERIN YET? 794 00:29:34,000 --> 00:29:35,000 MY NEXT CALL. 795 00:29:35,000 --> 00:29:37,000 WHY? YOU WANT TO TELL HER? 796 00:29:37,000 --> 00:29:39,000 WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO SAY, HUH? 797 00:29:39,000 --> 00:29:40,000 I MEAN, THIS IS BULLSHIT. 798 00:29:40,000 --> 00:29:42,000 [ SIGHS ] 799 00:29:42,000 --> 00:29:43,000 YEAH, I'LL CALL HER. 800 00:29:43,000 --> 00:29:44,000 DAMN IT! 801 00:29:44,000 --> 00:29:45,000 YOU KNOW WHAT YOU SHOULD DO? 802 00:29:45,000 --> 00:29:46,000 YOU SHOULD KISS ME. 803 00:29:47,000 --> 00:29:48,000 YOU KNOW WHY YOU SHOULD KISS ME? 804 00:29:48,000 --> 00:29:49,000 BECAUSE I'M SCREWING YOU? 805 00:29:49,000 --> 00:29:51,000 BECAUSE YOU'RE SCREWING ME! RIGHT. 806 00:29:53,000 --> 00:29:54,000 [ ROCK MUSIC PLAYS ] 807 00:29:54,000 --> 00:29:56,000 Albert: "PEEVISH." 808 00:29:58,000 --> 00:29:59,000 "GINGIVITIS." 809 00:29:59,000 --> 00:30:01,000 NO, NO, NO, NO. TRY ANOTHER ONE. 810 00:29:59,000 --> 00:30:01,000 TRY ANOTHER ONE. 811 00:30:01,000 --> 00:30:02,000 HERE, LET ME DO IT. LET ME DO IT. 812 00:30:02,000 --> 00:30:04,000 [ LAUGHS ] 813 00:30:06,000 --> 00:30:07,000 HEY, HEY, DAD. WE'RE MESSING AROUND WITH NEW BAND NAMES. 814 00:30:07,000 --> 00:30:09,000 JUST -- JUST POINT YOUR FINGER AT ANY WORD, 815 00:30:09,000 --> 00:30:10,000 AND THEN THAT'S GONNA BE OUR BAND NAME. 816 00:30:10,000 --> 00:30:12,000 YEAH, UH, I'LL BE RIGHT BACK. 817 00:30:12,000 --> 00:30:14,000 MOM'S INSIDE? YEAH. 818 00:30:16,000 --> 00:30:17,000 HEY, MR. TRANELLI. 819 00:30:17,000 --> 00:30:18,000 HEY. 820 00:30:18,000 --> 00:30:21,000 HEY, SUDHEER. 821 00:30:23,000 --> 00:30:24,000 EXCUSE ME. 822 00:30:26,000 --> 00:30:28,000 [ DOOR CLOSES ] 823 00:30:28,000 --> 00:30:29,000 OH. HEY. 824 00:30:29,000 --> 00:30:31,000 HEY, UH, WHAT'S LUCY DOING OUT THERE? 825 00:30:31,000 --> 00:30:33,000 JOE, YOU CAN'T JUST LEAVE A MESSAGE 826 00:30:33,000 --> 00:30:35,000 AND EXPECT ME TO CANCEL SOMETHING LIKE THIS 827 00:30:35,000 --> 00:30:36,000 ON THE SPUR OF THE MOMENT. 828 00:30:36,000 --> 00:30:37,000 I'VE HAD THIS PLANNED FOR A MONTH. 829 00:30:37,000 --> 00:30:39,000 SHE'S NOT SUPPOSED TO BE OUT THERE, OKAY? 830 00:30:39,000 --> 00:30:40,000 DO YOU UNDERSTAND WHAT SHE DID? 831 00:30:39,000 --> 00:30:40,000 YES. 832 00:30:40,000 --> 00:30:42,000 AND I AGREE THAT SHE SHOULD BE PUNISHED 833 00:30:42,000 --> 00:30:43,000 FOR SNEAKING INTO YOUR HOUSE. 834 00:30:43,000 --> 00:30:44,000 BUT YOU CAN'T JUST ARBITRARILY -- 835 00:30:44,000 --> 00:30:46,000 WHAT ABOUT THE OTHER THING, OKAY? 836 00:30:46,000 --> 00:30:47,000 SHE DIDN'T JUST SNEAK INTO MY HOUSE. 837 00:30:47,000 --> 00:30:48,000 YEAH. SHE -- 838 00:30:48,000 --> 00:30:53,000 BUT...I DON'T THINK WE CAN STOP THAT, OKAY? 839 00:30:53,000 --> 00:30:54,000 I MEAN, SHE AND SUDHEER... 840 00:30:55,000 --> 00:30:58,000 IT'S BEEN GOING ON FOR A WHILE. 841 00:30:58,000 --> 00:31:01,000 SO WHAT? YOU KNEW? 842 00:31:01,000 --> 00:31:03,000 YOU KNEW SHE WAS HAVING SEX? 843 00:31:05,000 --> 00:31:08,000 WELL, YEAH. 844 00:31:08,000 --> 00:31:11,000 WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME? 845 00:31:11,000 --> 00:31:13,000 WHAT THE HELL? 846 00:31:13,000 --> 00:31:15,000 HOW COME NOBODY'S TALKING TO ME? 847 00:31:15,000 --> 00:31:16,000 NOBODY'S NOT TALKING TO YOU, JOE, 848 00:31:16,000 --> 00:31:18,000 BUT WITH THIS... 849 00:31:18,000 --> 00:31:19,000 I'M HER MOTHER. IT'S DIFFERENT. 850 00:31:19,000 --> 00:31:22,000 NO, IT'S NOT. THIS IS -- IT'S FAMILY STUFF. 851 00:31:22,000 --> 00:31:24,000 JOE, SHE CONFIDED IN ME. 852 00:31:24,000 --> 00:31:26,000 SHE WANTED ME TO KEEP IT A SECRET. 853 00:31:26,000 --> 00:31:27,000 YEAH, OKAY. WELL, SECRETS, YEAH. 854 00:31:27,000 --> 00:31:29,000 'CAUSE THAT'S WHAT WE DO AROUND HERE, RIGHT? 855 00:31:29,000 --> 00:31:31,000 SECRETS? 856 00:31:32,000 --> 00:31:35,000 ARE YOU SERIOUS? 857 00:31:35,000 --> 00:31:37,000 JUST DON'T KEEP THIS SHIT FROM ME, SONIA! 858 00:31:37,000 --> 00:31:39,000 YOU KNOW WHAT, JOE? YOU NEED TO CALM DOWN. 859 00:31:39,000 --> 00:31:41,000 NO, I DON'T! THIS IS NOT MY FAULT, OKAY?! 860 00:31:41,000 --> 00:31:43,000 IF YOU WOULD TELL ME WHAT'S GOING ON HERE 861 00:31:41,000 --> 00:31:43,000 IN THE FIRST PLACE, 862 00:31:43,000 --> 00:31:45,000 THEN WE WOULDN'T HAVE AN ISSUE! 863 00:31:45,000 --> 00:31:46,000 THERE IS NO ISSUE, JOE! 864 00:31:46,000 --> 00:31:47,000 IT'S YOU! YOU ARE MAKING AN ISSUE! 865 00:31:47,000 --> 00:31:49,000 I'M NOT THE BAD GUY, OKAY? I AM NOT THE BAD GUY! 866 00:31:49,000 --> 00:31:52,000 AND I'M NOT THE DEFENDANT. 867 00:31:52,000 --> 00:31:54,000 I'LL TELL YOU RIGHT NOW, I'M NOT SIGNING THAT SHIT! 868 00:31:56,000 --> 00:31:59,000 I DIDN'T KNOW YOU HAD IT IN YOU. THAT'S INCREDIBLE. 869 00:31:59,000 --> 00:32:02,000 HEY, THAT'S THE PRETTIEST THING I'VE SEEN ALL DAY. 870 00:32:02,000 --> 00:32:03,000 DO YOU COME WITH THE CAR? 871 00:32:03,000 --> 00:32:04,000 [ CHUCKLES ] 872 00:32:04,000 --> 00:32:06,000 SEE? I STILL GOT IT. 873 00:32:06,000 --> 00:32:07,000 HOW DO YOU DO THAT? 874 00:32:08,000 --> 00:32:09,000 I'M INVISIBLE TO WOMEN. 875 00:32:09,000 --> 00:32:10,000 AH, YOU'RE GETTING OLDER. 876 00:32:10,000 --> 00:32:12,000 WAIT TILL YOU'RE A CRAZY OLD MAN LIKE ME. 877 00:32:12,000 --> 00:32:15,000 YOU CAN SAY WHATEVER YOU WANT. YOU GET A FREE PASS, HUH? 878 00:32:15,000 --> 00:32:16,000 [ BOTH CHUCKLE ] 879 00:32:16,000 --> 00:32:17,000 PEOPLE HUMOR YOU. 880 00:32:17,000 --> 00:32:19,000 A PRETTY WOMAN SMILES AT YOU 881 00:32:19,000 --> 00:32:21,000 BECAUSE YOU REMIND HER OF HER GRANDPA. 882 00:32:21,000 --> 00:32:23,000 AND YOUR GROWN SON 883 00:32:23,000 --> 00:32:25,000 LETS YOU COME BY THE BUSINESS EVERY NOW AND THEN. 884 00:32:25,000 --> 00:32:26,000 WAIT. WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT "LETS YOU"? 885 00:32:26,000 --> 00:32:28,000 THIS IS STILL YOUR BUSINESS, DADDY. 886 00:32:28,000 --> 00:32:29,000 NOT AFTER NEXT WEEK. 887 00:32:29,000 --> 00:32:32,000 NOW, LISTEN, I TALKED TO MY LAWYERS. 888 00:32:32,000 --> 00:32:34,000 IT'S ABOUT TIME 889 00:32:34,000 --> 00:32:37,000 I STARTED OFFICIALLY ENJOYING MY RETIREMENT. 890 00:32:37,000 --> 00:32:39,000 MAYBE I'LL FINALLY GET ON THAT FISHING BOAT 891 00:32:39,000 --> 00:32:42,000 INSTEAD OF JUST TALKING ABOUT IT. 892 00:32:42,000 --> 00:32:43,000 SO THAT'S WHY YOU CAME HERE? 893 00:32:43,000 --> 00:32:45,000 NO, NO, NO. IT WAS YOUR MOTHER. 894 00:32:45,000 --> 00:32:49,000 OKAY, I FIGURED IF I WAS GONNA PASS THE TORCH, 895 00:32:49,000 --> 00:32:52,000 I MIGHT AS WELL PASS IT IN FRONT OF EVERYBODY, HMM? 896 00:32:52,000 --> 00:32:53,000 OH, THAT'S, UH... 897 00:32:53,000 --> 00:32:54,000 YEAH, YEAH, YEAH. 898 00:32:54,000 --> 00:32:56,000 JUST GET THAT SMILE OFF YOUR FACE. 899 00:32:56,000 --> 00:32:58,000 BUT LISTEN, IT'S YOUR STORE, 900 00:32:58,000 --> 00:33:01,000 BUT IF YOU NEED ME, I'LL BE THERE. 901 00:33:01,000 --> 00:33:02,000 THANKS. 902 00:33:03,000 --> 00:33:05,000 DON'T NEED ME. 903 00:33:05,000 --> 00:33:07,000 [ BOTH LAUGH ] 904 00:33:07,000 --> 00:33:08,000 HEY. HUH? 905 00:33:08,000 --> 00:33:10,000 YOUR MOTHER SAYS, 906 00:33:10,000 --> 00:33:12,000 "I DON'T CARE WHERE YOU GET YOUR APPETITE, 907 00:33:12,000 --> 00:33:13,000 AS LONG AS YOU COME HOME FOR DINNER." 908 00:33:13,000 --> 00:33:16,000 SPEAKING OF WHICH, WHERE IS YOUR MOTHER? 909 00:33:16,000 --> 00:33:18,000 I DON'T KNOW. 910 00:33:18,000 --> 00:33:19,000 Charles: HERE WE GO! 911 00:33:19,000 --> 00:33:21,000 [ INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS ] 912 00:33:21,000 --> 00:33:24,000 [ LAUGHTER ] 913 00:33:24,000 --> 00:33:25,000 OH, YEAH. 914 00:33:25,000 --> 00:33:26,000 OH, BABY! 915 00:33:26,000 --> 00:33:30,000 BABY, I GOT A JOB! WHAT? 916 00:33:30,000 --> 00:33:31,000 THIS IS MY NEW BOSS, CHARLES. THIS IS MY HUSBAND. 917 00:33:31,000 --> 00:33:32,000 HEY. HEY. 918 00:33:32,000 --> 00:33:35,000 HE WORKS FOR AMAZON, AND THEY NEED SOMEBODY 919 00:33:32,000 --> 00:33:35,000 TO WRITE PRODUCT REVIEWS. 920 00:33:35,000 --> 00:33:38,000 AND I CAN START NEXT WEEK. SHE IS REALLY GREAT. 921 00:33:38,000 --> 00:33:39,000 [ GIGGLES ] WHICH IS ALL 922 00:33:38,000 --> 00:33:39,000 I'M GONNA SAY RIGHT NOW 923 00:33:39,000 --> 00:33:42,000 BECAUSE I JUST NOTICED MY WIFE JUST GOT BACK 924 00:33:42,000 --> 00:33:44,000 FROM WHATEVER BORING THING YOU GUYS WERE DOING. 925 00:33:44,000 --> 00:33:46,000 NICE TO MEET YOU. AND WE'LL TALK. 926 00:33:46,000 --> 00:33:47,000 OKAY, THANK YOU. [ CHUCKLES ] 927 00:33:48,000 --> 00:33:50,000 WOW. MM-HMM. 928 00:33:50,000 --> 00:33:51,000 I GOT A J-O-B. 929 00:33:51,000 --> 00:33:53,000 OH, BABY, I'M SO PROUD OF YOU. 930 00:33:56,000 --> 00:33:59,000 WOW. HAD A LITTLE TEQUILA, DID YOU? 931 00:33:59,000 --> 00:34:00,000 IT WAS DELICIOUS. COME ON. 932 00:34:01,000 --> 00:34:02,000 HEY, LET ME GET SOME FOOD INTO YOU. 933 00:35:15,000 --> 00:35:16,000 JOE. 934 00:35:16,000 --> 00:35:19,000 I'M SORRY. 935 00:35:19,000 --> 00:35:23,000 I'M SORRY. I JUST -- THAT WAS, UH... 936 00:35:23,000 --> 00:35:25,000 IT WAS WAY OUT OF LINE, WHAT I SAID. 937 00:35:25,000 --> 00:35:28,000 YOU KNOW, IT'S -- IT'S NOT -- 938 00:35:28,000 --> 00:35:30,000 IT'S NOT ABOUT YOU. 939 00:35:33,000 --> 00:35:36,000 REMEMBER THIS? 940 00:35:36,000 --> 00:35:40,000 FOUND A WHOLE BUNCH OF THOSE IN THAT BOX YOU GAVE ME. 941 00:35:40,000 --> 00:35:43,000 REMEMBER I WOULD PUTT IN THE LIVING ROOM... 942 00:35:45,000 --> 00:35:49,000 ...AND SHE WOULD TAKE THEM AND MARK THEM UP 943 00:35:49,000 --> 00:35:53,000 THEN SHE'D HAND THEM TO ME AND THEN SHE'D GO, 944 00:35:53,000 --> 00:35:56,000 YOU KNOW, AND I'D HAVE TO PUTT THEM RIGHT INTO HER HANDS? 945 00:35:56,000 --> 00:35:59,000 I REMEMBER. 946 00:35:59,000 --> 00:36:01,000 IT'S JUST... 947 00:36:06,000 --> 00:36:10,000 I FEEL LIKE IT'S ALL GOING AWAY FROM ME. 948 00:36:16,000 --> 00:36:19,000 YOU WANT A BEER? 949 00:36:19,000 --> 00:36:21,000 YOU KNOW, WHEN LUCY WAS LITTLE, 950 00:36:21,000 --> 00:36:23,000 I THOUGHT EVERYTHING I DID WAS GONNA MESS HER UP. 951 00:36:23,000 --> 00:36:25,000 [ CHUCKLES ] 952 00:36:25,000 --> 00:36:26,000 REMEMBER WHEN I WAS TRYING TO BREAST-FEED 953 00:36:26,000 --> 00:36:28,000 AND SHE WOULDN'T LATCH ON 954 00:36:28,000 --> 00:36:30,000 AND I KEPT TELLING YOU THAT IT WAS ALL GONNA BE MY FAULT 955 00:36:30,000 --> 00:36:32,000 WHEN SHE CAME OUT SCREWED UP. 956 00:36:32,000 --> 00:36:35,000 AND THEN WITH THE DIVORCE, 957 00:36:35,000 --> 00:36:38,000 I THOUGHT, "NOW WE'VE ACTUALLY DONE IT. 958 00:36:38,000 --> 00:36:42,000 WE'VE RUINED OUR KIDS." 959 00:36:42,000 --> 00:36:44,000 BUT YOU KNOW WHAT? WE DIDN'T. 960 00:36:44,000 --> 00:36:47,000 OUR KIDS ARE GREAT. 961 00:36:47,000 --> 00:36:50,000 I KNOW. 962 00:36:50,000 --> 00:36:52,000 THEY'RE GOOD KIDS. 963 00:36:52,000 --> 00:36:54,000 IT'S JUST -- YOU KNOW, I HAD THIS IMAGE 964 00:36:54,000 --> 00:36:58,000 OF WHO SHE IS FROM WHEN SHE WAS LITTLE. 965 00:36:58,000 --> 00:37:05,000 AND THE OTHER DAY, IT WAS JUST...A SHOCK, YOU KNOW? 966 00:37:05,000 --> 00:37:07,000 BUT, HEY, LOOK, AT LEAST IT'S SUDHEER. 967 00:37:07,000 --> 00:37:08,000 [ CHUCKLES ] 968 00:37:08,000 --> 00:37:11,000 FINALLY A BRIGHT SPOT IN THE PARADE OF LOSERS. 969 00:37:11,000 --> 00:37:12,000 [ BOTH CHUCKLE ] 970 00:37:12,000 --> 00:37:14,000 YEAH. HE'S A GOOD KID. 971 00:37:16,000 --> 00:37:18,000 YOU KNOW I CAUGHT HIM PEEING? 972 00:37:18,000 --> 00:37:19,000 REALLY? 973 00:37:19,000 --> 00:37:21,000 YEAH, FROM BEHIND. 974 00:37:21,000 --> 00:37:22,000 YOU SHOULD HAVE SEEN THE LOOK ON HIS ASS. 975 00:37:22,000 --> 00:37:24,000 [ LAUGHS ] 976 00:37:24,000 --> 00:37:27,000 [ CHUCKLES ] 977 00:37:27,000 --> 00:37:30,000 YOU DON'T THINK ALBERT'S HAVING SEX, DO YOU? 978 00:37:30,000 --> 00:37:31,000 NO. WHY? 979 00:37:32,000 --> 00:37:35,000 NAH, IT'S -- NO, NO REASON. 980 00:37:35,000 --> 00:37:37,000 [ LAUGHTER ] 981 00:37:37,000 --> 00:37:39,000 [ ROCK MUSIC PLAYS ] 982 00:37:58,000 --> 00:37:59,000 HI. 983 00:37:59,000 --> 00:38:02,000 SORRY TO STOP BY. IT'S NOT TOO LATE, IS IT? 984 00:38:02,000 --> 00:38:04,000 NO. NO. I'M JUST GRADING PAPERS. 985 00:38:04,000 --> 00:38:05,000 YOU KNOW, I FIGURE I SHOULD KEEP 986 00:38:05,000 --> 00:38:07,000 THE WHOLE HIGH-SCHOOL TEACHER THING ALIVE 987 00:38:07,000 --> 00:38:09,000 WHILE I'M GETTING RICH AND FAMOUS. 988 00:38:09,000 --> 00:38:10,000 [ CHUCKLES ] 989 00:38:10,000 --> 00:38:11,000 YEAH. 990 00:38:12,000 --> 00:38:14,000 SO, HAVE YOU HEARD ANYTHING? 'CAUSE I HAVEN'T GOTTEN A CALL. 991 00:38:14,000 --> 00:38:18,000 YEAH, NO, THAT'S PROBABLY -- THAT'S MY BAD. 992 00:38:18,000 --> 00:38:19,000 UM, HERE'S THE THING, 993 00:38:19,000 --> 00:38:21,000 I THINK I MIGHT HAVE REALLY SCREWED UP HERE. 994 00:38:21,000 --> 00:38:26,000 PHIL TOLD ME THAT, UM... IT WAS A SHIT DEAL, RIGHT -- 995 00:38:26,000 --> 00:38:27,000 NO RESIDUALS -- 996 00:38:27,000 --> 00:38:29,000 SO I-I TOLD THEM TO JUST, 997 00:38:29,000 --> 00:38:31,000 YOU KNOW, GO SCREW THEMSELVES. 998 00:38:31,000 --> 00:38:32,000 AND, UM... 999 00:38:32,000 --> 00:38:34,000 I HOPE THAT, UH... 1000 00:38:34,000 --> 00:38:37,000 [ Sighing ] OH, THANK GOD. 1001 00:38:37,000 --> 00:38:38,000 [ SIGHS ] 1002 00:38:38,000 --> 00:38:41,000 I'VE BEEN SUCH A MESS ABOUT IT. 1003 00:38:41,000 --> 00:38:42,000 I'VE BEEN HAVING NIGHTMARES ALL NIGHT 1004 00:38:42,000 --> 00:38:44,000 AND JUST FREAKING OUT. 1005 00:38:44,000 --> 00:38:45,000 INSTEAD, IT'S A LOAD OFF. 1006 00:38:45,000 --> 00:38:47,000 REALLY? YES! 1007 00:38:45,000 --> 00:38:47,000 ARE YOU KIDDING? 1008 00:38:47,000 --> 00:38:49,000 YOU'RE, LIKE, MY HERO. OH. 1009 00:38:49,000 --> 00:38:50,000 WELL... 1010 00:38:50,000 --> 00:38:52,000 DID YOU COME ALL THE WAY OVER HERE JUST TO TELL ME THAT? 1011 00:38:52,000 --> 00:38:54,000 WELL, YEAH. 1012 00:38:54,000 --> 00:38:56,000 [ CHUCKLES ] 1013 00:38:56,000 --> 00:38:58,000 I'M -- I'M -- I'M A LITTLE... 1014 00:38:58,000 --> 00:39:00,000 I-I-I -- WHY -- 1015 00:39:00,000 --> 00:39:02,000 WHY DID YOU AGREE TO DO THE COMMERCIAL 1016 00:39:02,000 --> 00:39:04,000 IN THE FIRST PLACE? 1017 00:39:04,000 --> 00:39:05,000 OH, I DON'T KNOW. 1018 00:39:06,000 --> 00:39:08,000 UM, I MEAN, I WAS A BASKET CASE, 1019 00:39:08,000 --> 00:39:12,000 BUT I FIGURED YOU WERE THERE, SO I'D BE ALL RIGHT. 1020 00:39:12,000 --> 00:39:13,000 HUH. 1021 00:39:14,000 --> 00:39:15,000 I'M -- I'M NOT -- 1022 00:39:15,000 --> 00:39:17,000 I MEAN... 1023 00:39:19,000 --> 00:39:21,000 YOU MEAN WHAT? 1024 00:39:21,000 --> 00:39:22,000 HMM? 1025 00:39:23,000 --> 00:39:27,000 I REALLY DON'T DATE ACTORS. 1026 00:39:27,000 --> 00:39:29,000 I'M NOT AN ACTOR ANYMORE. 1027 00:39:32,000 --> 00:39:39,000 ♪ WISE MEN SAY ♪ 1028 00:39:39,000 --> 00:39:44,000 ♪ ONLY FOOLS RUSH IN ♪ 1029 00:39:46,000 --> 00:39:54,000 ♪ BUT I CAN'T HELP ♪ 1030 00:39:54,000 --> 00:39:56,000 ♪ FALLING IN LOVE WITH YOU ♪ [ LAUGHS ] 1031 00:39:54,000 --> 00:39:56,000 COME ON, BIG BEAR. 1032 00:39:56,000 --> 00:39:58,000 TAKE OFF THOSE CLOTHES AND GET SOME OF THIS HONEY. 1033 00:39:58,000 --> 00:39:59,000 COME ON. 1034 00:39:59,000 --> 00:40:02,000 WELL, IT LOOKS LIKE THAT HONEY COULD USE 1035 00:39:59,000 --> 00:40:02,000 A STRONG CUP OF COFFEE. 1036 00:40:02,000 --> 00:40:03,000 [ LAUGHS ] 1037 00:40:03,000 --> 00:40:05,000 I LOVE ME SOME TEQUILA. 1038 00:40:05,000 --> 00:40:06,000 IT GETS EVERYTHING GOING. 1039 00:40:06,000 --> 00:40:07,000 YEAH. [ LAUGHS ] 1040 00:40:08,000 --> 00:40:08,000 YOU KNOW WHAT? 1041 00:40:09,000 --> 00:40:10,000 I'M GONNA CHANGE MY NAME TO TEQUILA. 1042 00:40:10,000 --> 00:40:11,000 OR MAYBE TEQUEELA. 1043 00:40:11,000 --> 00:40:14,000 OKAY, WELL, YOU STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE, TEQUEELA. 1044 00:40:14,000 --> 00:40:16,000 'CAUSE DADDY'S COMING. ♪ IF I CAN'T HELP ♪ 1045 00:40:16,000 --> 00:40:18,000 MM. 1046 00:40:18,000 --> 00:40:20,000 AHH. 1047 00:40:20,000 --> 00:40:27,000 ♪ FALLING IN LOVE WITH YOU ♪ 1048 00:40:27,000 --> 00:40:29,000 [ SIGHS ] YOU'RE KIDDING. 1049 00:40:29,000 --> 00:40:32,000 [ LAUGHS ] YUP. ♪ LIKE A RIVER FLOWS ♪ 1050 00:40:32,000 --> 00:40:33,000 BUT YOU BETTER GET YOUR BUTT OVER HERE, 1051 00:40:33,000 --> 00:40:34,000 'CAUSE THIS WINDOW'S GONNA CLOSE SOON. 1052 00:40:33,000 --> 00:40:34,000 ♪ SURELY TO THE SEA ♪ 1053 00:40:35,000 --> 00:40:37,000 [ LAUGHS ] ♪ DARLING, SO IT GOES ♪ 1054 00:40:37,000 --> 00:40:38,000 [ GROWLING ] 1055 00:40:38,000 --> 00:40:40,000 [ LAUGHS ] 1056 00:40:40,000 --> 00:40:47,000 ♪ SOME THINGS ARE MEANT TO BE ♪ 1057 00:40:47,000 --> 00:40:54,000 ♪ TAKE MY HAND ♪ 1058 00:40:54,000 --> 00:41:01,000 ♪ TAKE MY WHOLE LIFE, TOO ♪ 1059 00:41:01,000 --> 00:41:07,000 ♪ FOR I CAN'T HELP ♪ 1060 00:41:07,000 --> 00:41:15,000 ♪ FALLING IN LOVE WITH YOU ♪ 1061 00:41:15,000 --> 00:41:19,000 ♪ LIKE A RIVER FLOWS ♪ 1062 00:41:19,000 --> 00:41:23,000 ♪ SURELY TO THE SEA ♪ 1063 00:41:23,000 --> 00:41:24,000 ALL RIGHT, GUYS. ♪ DARLING, SO IT GOES ♪ 1064 00:41:25,000 --> 00:41:26,000 BYE, DAD. 1065 00:41:26,000 --> 00:41:27,000 ALL RIGHT, SEE YOU LATER. 1066 00:41:27,000 --> 00:41:30,000 HEY, UH, SAY HI TO MY MAN SUDHEER, HUH? 1067 00:41:30,000 --> 00:41:32,000 ♪ ...ARE MEANT TO BE ♪ THE SUD-MAN. 1068 00:41:32,000 --> 00:41:34,000 WE BROKE UP. 1069 00:41:34,000 --> 00:41:39,000 ♪ TAKE MY HAND ♪ 1070 00:41:39,000 --> 00:41:46,000 ♪ TAKE MY WHOLE LIFE, TOO ♪ 1071 00:41:46,000 --> 00:41:53,000 ♪ FOR I CAN'T HELP ♪ 1072 00:41:53,000 --> 00:42:01,000 ♪ FALLING IN LOVE WITH YOU ♪ 73568

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