All language subtitles for Melinda.And.Melinda.2004.1080p.WEBRip.x264-RARBG

MAN:
The essence of life isn't comic.

It's tragic.

I mean, there's nothing
intrinsically funny

about the terrible facts
of human existence.

Oh, I disagree.

I mean, you know,
philosophers call it absurd

because, in the end,
all you can do is laugh.

Human aspirations
are so ludicrous

and, and, and irrational.
Well...

I mean, if the underlying
reality of our being was tragic,

my plays would make more
than yours at the box office

because my stories would
resonate more profoundly

with the human soul.

Ah, I mean,

it's exactly because
tragedy hits

on the truly painful
essence of life

that people run
to my comedies...

for escape.

No. No, no.
Look, no, wait.

I mean, tragedy confronts.
Comedy escapes.

Look, you guys

what are you, what are
we discussing here?

Is, uh, is there a deeper
reality in comedy or tragedy?

Who can even make
such a judgment?

Look, let,

let me tell you a story,
and you tell me,

is it material
for a comedy or a tragedy?

This happened to some people
I know.

Okay, it's a small dinner party.

The hosts are trying to impress
one of their guests.

Suddenly,

the doorbell rings.

And out of nowhere, an
unexpected person shows up.

A man or a woman?
A woman.

I'll give you all the details,

and you tell me:
comedy or tragedy.

So, the guest enters,
and everyone is surprised,

especially the host.

Turns out, she's got
a particular problem...

My God, that's quite amusing.

I mean,
she barges in unannounced

while they're eating.

What you told us would make
a very good romantic comedy.

Well, that's because you
see the world comically.

But you're missing
the tragic implications,

the entanglements it suggests.

No, I see, I see the whole thing
quite differently.

I see this lone figure,

a woman who's maybe
just come off a bus.

She's toting a suitcase.

Maybe she's searching nervously
for an address.

WOMAN :
Hello?

Who is it?

Hello?

Hello...?

Can I help you, miss?

Um, the Springers.

Top floor.

JACK:
It's really good.

PETER
It's beautiful.

These speakers
are wonderful.

Yeah, you really do pick up

every little nuance
of the orchestra; it's great.

Tell me again why I can't
have a glass of white wine.

Every pregnancy, she
asks the same question.

This is the,
uh, "Concerto in D."

Yes!

My God, you really
know your Stravinsky.

Yeah, this would be good
theme music for the play.

LAUREL:
Lee?

That's a brilliant idea.

I need a little help
with the final touches.

Can you get the two
big serving dishes?

Can we go with dinner
already?

I'm running out
of obsequious banter.

Well, how's it going?

Well, he says he thinks
I'm perfect for the part,

but the goddamn producer
wants more of a name.

I don't understand why
they make such a big deal.

I mean, you said
your reading went well,

and, I mean, it's not
like it's the lead.

First time I auditioned,
it went better.

When they had me back,
I don't know what happened.

And I know it's not
the lead, Laurel.

Doesn't he have
any clout?

They want a name.
I'm not a name.

You didn't marry a name.

Sally was just saying
how much she loves your place.

How long are you here?

LAUREL:
Six months.

I mean, we're still
not finished.

There's so much
we'd like to do.

We have to furnish slowly,

'cause we used up all our money
buying the place.

Oh, you must admit
we couldn't go on

in that one bedroom.

The piano ate up
the whole living room.

We're living
beyond our means.

I get nervous.

But Laurel is certain
God will provide.

They're poor, but happy.

Definitely poor.

What do you do, Peter?

I'm a lawyer.
Ah.

No jokes, please.

Think the music's
a little too loud?

I saw you the other night,

listening to the Mahler
and crying.

You should've seen her.
It was 2:00 A.M.

She was listening
to Mahler's Second,

and the tears were
streaming down her face.

She looked so beautiful.

I wanted to hug her.
Uh-huh.

Yeah, but I had
to get up early

and film a deodorant
commercial, so...

Oh. Well, that's work
at least, right?

Oh, no, I think
someone rang before.

Yeah?
Did you hear that?

So how do you
all know each other?

What's the connection here?

Oh, we grew up together,
Cassie and I.

We were those little
girls at school

with the plaid skirts.

Ah, nice.

And Lee and I met
at Northwestern.

He was the star actor,
the handsome athlete.

Everybody wanted him.

But Laurel got him.

Melinda?

Hi.

Melinda?

Hi.

Melinda, hi.

Oh, my goodness.

Oh, God.

Cassie.
Oh.

I'm, I'm stunned.

Here, let me take these.

God, look at you.

You look so...

No, don't.

Don't, don't say
what you're thinking.

I've, I've been on a bus.

I've been on a Greyhound
bus since Tuesday,

so I'm sure I look like
the wreck of the Hesperus.

Um, a bus, a bus from where?

I mean, what,
what are you doing here?

I've moved around.

Um, I had to keep moving.

It, events unfolded
in such a way that...

Is it all right
if I smoke?

I just...

feel a little nervous
barging in on you like this.

Well, why don't you
sit down and eat with us?

This is Jack and Sally Oliver.

Hi.
Hi.

I'm Melinda Robicheaux.

Gone back to
my mother's name.

It's French.
She was Parisienne.

Jesus, you must
have dropped off

the goddamn moon.

Shall I get a chair?

I could use a drink.

Champagne or white wine.

The truth is, I've
gotten very used to

single malt scotch.

An acquaintance of mine
introduced me to it.

So, um, I really should
freshen up, though, um...

If I could just get
a single malt scotch.

And, uh, look at me.

Jesus.
I need a hot shower.

LAUREL:
Yeah, okay, um, please.

Um, excuse us.

Please start.

This is just so unexpected.

I'll say.

You had no hint
she was coming?

She was nuts then,
and she's nuts now.

Did you see the look
in her eyes?

She's been on a bus.

You were just asking how
we all know each other.

Melinda is
the third Musketeer.

We all went
to school together.

We haven't heard
from her in ages.

Yeah, she's had
personal difficulties.

She wrote us and said
she'd be coming to New York

from I can't remember where,
Chicago or Indiana,

and, uh, could we put her up?

Laurel said sure.

I myself, I...

This is not the time
to discuss this.

Let's just eat and,
uh, change the subject.

Well, I mean, what can you do?

We've all had friends just drop
in unannounced. Relatives.

Remember your aunt
with the...

I put up an extra bed.

You know, I fix up
the room for her.

Meanwhile, she doesn't show
when she says she's gonna show.

So, we try to contact her.
There's no trace of her.

Then two months later,
she calls up unannounced

in the middle of
a fricking dinner party.

Am I unreasonable?

COMEDIAN:
No, no.

No, you're missing
the whole point.

You have the makings of
a delightful human comedy here.

You missed the humor
in everything.

I see a sweet, tree-lined block
on the Upper East Side.

It's a dinner party.

The husband is fawning
over his guest.

He's a movie-maker.

No. Wait.

Here's the idea.

Make the film director the wife.

He's just her out-of-work
actor-husband.

She's trying to impress
the guest

and raise the money
for an independent film.

I was just telling Jennifer

that Steve has
expressed interest

in investing in
Susan's next movie.

Oh...
Yeah,

I have most of the money.

I, I've, um, I've just,

I've been trying to get it
going now for two years.

Oh, I liked your first picture.
Oh, thank you.

Would you do this one
on video, too?
Oh, no.

That was just because
it was my first film,

and we only had $300,000.

But this one will be on
35-millimeter for sure.

Well, how much do you need?

Well, I've raised
about four million.

And, um, we need
another two million now.

The problem is the theme is
quite controversial, so...

Oh, yeah, what's the theme?

Well, let's
put it this way:

it's a mostly
all-female cast,

and it's called
The Castration Sonata.

Uh-huh.

So, you wouldn't happen to have
single malt scotch around?

Oh, you know,
let me check.
Okay.

Hurry up.

I'm running out of
obsequious banter.

Okay.
Well, don't throw me.

Everything's timed.

Chilean sea bass
in caramelized filo

is not like scrambled eggs.

Well, he happens
to love it.

Does he love it two
million dollars worth?

God, I hope so.

I told you we should
keep single malt scotch
in this house.

Who drinks it?
He does.

God, you're definitely
going all out.

You're dressed very sexy.

Hobie, keep your eyes
on the sea bass!

Okay, okay, okay.

COMEDIAN:
She goes down to buy a bottle
of single malt scotch.

Um, are you okay?

Oh. Yeah, I'm fine.

Are you sure?

Yeah.

What are we having?
This looks divine.

These are Coquilles
Saint-Jacques with salmon,

And we're having
a Chilean sea bass

in a caramelized
filo pastry...

Wow.

...lightly dusted
with lime powder.

Oh, my God. Did somebody
send you a yuppie cookbook?

No.

Susan says you're
a wonderful chef.

I'm an out-of-work actor

who should probably
open a restaurant.

SUSAN:
Who's that?

WOMAN:
Hi.

HOBIE:
Hi.

I'm sorry. I hope
I'm not intruding.

No, it's, it's okay.

Um, I've been having
a-a kind of bad time,

and I just took
some sleeping pills.

Sleeping pills?
How many?

WOMAN:
Um...

twenty-eight.

Whoa! Call 911!

No, stay and just eat.

It's gonna get cold.

Sit. Just stay and eat.

It's okay. It's okay.

Hobie, make some
black coffee.
You all right?

Okay, okay.

Um... I'm allergic to coffee,
but do you have any vodka?

Vodka?

WOMAN AT TABLE:
Maybe we should
call the doctor.

It's okay. I-I just need
something to calm my nerves.

Do you live
in this building?

I've been subletting
for the past month. Oh!

WOMAN AT TABLE:
I think somebody
should call a doctor.

Careful.

Um, I think, I think
I'm gonna be sick.

No, throw up!
That's the best thing

if you've had pills.
No, no, no!

Not on the carpet.
That's a new carpet.

Go to the bathroom.

I smell smoke.
Can you smell smoke?

Oh, God!

The Chilean sea bass,
lightly dusted with lime!

Should you be taking
those pills?

You didn't have any dinner.

Mm.

If I don't, I can't sleep.

Well, Cassie's put on weight.

Not that I'd ever
say anything to her.

Cassie's pregnant.

Again?

Well, they swear they're
stopping at three children.

For me, two is just
the right number.

Is there any word?

No, there's none.
There's nothing.

Now, I don't want you
to get panicky,

but I am planning on staying,
but just for a while.

I just need to find
a place and settle in

and rebuild my career.

And you did say that you
had enough room to put me up.

Well, we were surprised when you
never showed up over the summer.

We had everything all ready.

Lee had gotten
your room in order.

Yeah, I apologize for that.

I was going through
a kind of confused down period.

And I was worried.

Lee couldn't figure out
how to get in contact with you.

I had no idea
you were using different names.

What happened?
I thought the worst was over.

Can I speak openly?

Well, of course.

I tried to commit suicide.

:
You didn't.

I did, and it wasn't
a half-hearted attempt.

It wasn't a cry for help.

But why? I thought everything
that happened was past.

I thought you'd pulled yourself
together.

Because that's
what I wrote you.

And some days I honestly
thought it.

But, in the end, I just,

I couldn't take it anymore.

Melinda.

You didn't find me
because I was indisposed.

And, if you've never been
in a state mental hospital,

languishing in a straitjacket,
I wouldn't recommend one.

Especially not the one I was in,
in the Midwest.

I'm overwhelmed.

Are you okay? I mean...

I'm, I'm all right.
I'm on the road back.

I'm still... a little fragile
when everything closes in,

but I get stronger every day.

Well, you know,
you're welcome to stay here

as long as you like.

There. I fixed up
a room for her.

How long is she gonna stay?

Why?

Because we promised my sister

she could come and stay
for Thanksgiving.

Well, Thanksgiving's not
for a while.

Well, I-I'm just saying.

What? I can't just
throw her out.

She's trying to pull
her life back together, Lee.

Ah, she's her
own worst enemy.

Oh, you don't know the details.

Details

She was married
to some big doctor.

She had two nice kids.

What was she doing playing
around with...

what the hell was he?

He was a photographer.

Melinda.

Lee's right.
Whatever I went through,

I'm responsible for.

Look, we've all been drinking,
and we're really tired. It's...

No, he's right.

I was married to a man
who loved me

and gave me the two most
beautiful children in the world.

That I'm not allowed
to set eyes on them

is just proof of my weakness
and my husband's strength.

No, it's disgusting how much
influence he had on the judge.

It's who you know, Laurel.

Life is all networking.

I brought it on myself.

Because I was bored.

I mean, not bored
with my children.

God, they were the light
of my life.

But I was bored
being a doctor's wife.

Just as my mother was bored
being a doctor's wife.

Like Madame Bovary.

It's not that St. Louis
isn't very beautiful.

It's just that...

everything that had seemed so...

magical when I married Josh
had somehow just melted away.

It was okay, you know.

And, no matter what I did,

I couldn't make it any better.

And then this man
with a romantic name--

John San Giuliano...

took my photograph...

and...

I fell in love
with him.

And we began having
this love affair.

And he wanted to know if I could
see myself living in Italy,

and I said, "Well, look,
Mr. San Giuliano,

"I'm married to a surgeon
with two children.

"My life is fixed, so don't
ask me to tax my imagination.

"Let's just confine our passion

"to local motels
and forget Capestrano."

And then... reality set in

in the person
of a private detective

with the unlikely name
of Woodkrutch.

And my children were handed over

to my humiliated
husband forever.

Mr. San Giuliano took me
on a safari

to help me forget things.

But I, I can't forget
no matter how hard I try.

Then he met someone else.

Stop, Melinda.

Why? It only gets worse.

So that's pretty much
how I got here.

My God. That's
a sad story.

Guy leads her on, causes her
to break up her marriage

then dumps her.

I caught him in bed
with one of his models.

I mean, who can blame him?

She was a six-foot Swede
who was a Miss World runner-up.

Her legs started at her chin.

See, that's why my film
The Castration Sonata,

puts male sexuality
in perspective.

It's lucky
you didn't have children.

He could have made
custody trouble,

especially if he was
so well-connected politically.

I always wanted
to have children.

But my husband
wouldn't hear of it.

He said he couldn't bear
the thought

of having sex
with a pregnant woman

for nine months...
especially the fat months.

STEVE:
So, what are you
going to do now?

I'm an art historian.

Ah...

At least, that's what
I majored in at Brandeis.

And I may be getting offered
a job in an art gallery.

It's only cataloging,

but I'm in no position
to turn it down.

HOBIE:
Anyone for more ants

climb a tree before I throw it
in the garbage?

No.
No, thanks.

I can't eat another bite.

Dinner was delicious.

Sorry about burning
the sea bass,

a-and the kitchen curtains.

I apologize.

Well, I'm sorry
about busting in
on you all like that.

Oh, no, no, no.

We, we love it when
unexpected women barge in

and, and throw up.

Uh, I-I-I'm kidding.

I hope tonight
didn't kill my chances

of getting my movie made.

No, no, I-I think
Steve Walsh was okay.

I-I-I told him I was gonna play

one of the male characters
in the movie.

What did he say?
Nothing.

We-we discussed acting.

I told him about
my award-winning interpretation

of Pygmalion.

Hobie, that
was in college.

Still, I-I-I thought
it was a brilliant idea

to play Henry Higgins
with a limp.

God, I hate being
an assistant director.

After you've made
your own film?

The sad thing is, is he could
have my movie happen like that.

What's two million dollars
to a real estate billionaire?

The upkeep of his private jet is
probably worth more than that.

He was very impressed
with you,

and, and you looked
very sexy.

Really? You thought
I looked sexy?

Yeah. You are sexy.

You really...
you're very sexy.

Hobie, it's 2:00 A.M.

Oh... what, what's going on?

Wait, we al...

We used to make love
all the time,

and-and now there's always
an excuse.

I told you I am going

through an emotionally
difficult time
creatively.

Do... eh...

you feel like we don't
communicate anymore?

Of course
we communicate.

Now can we not
talk about it?

Hi. Sorry I'm late.

I saw these
the other day.

I think they would look
very beautiful on you.

They are beautiful.

But you know Lee.

He gets so crazy
about my spending.

How's he doing?

You're not hurting
for cash, are you?

He's on tenterhooks
about the play.

But we're fine,
you know.

He's got a number
of irons on the fire,

some very promising
possibilities.

I have a very good
prospect for Melinda.

A job prospect?

A guy.

Remember Bud Silverglide?

No. Have I met him?

Yeah. Remember we had
Thanksgiving dinner
at my house,

and he brought
his little girl, Emily?

Emily, I don't...
Emily...?

His wife had died
the year before?

Oh, yes,
I sat next to him.

He's kind of
average

He's fine.

He'd be perfect.

He's a very lovely guy.

He's smart.

He's been through
his share of suffering.

If it ever got
really serious,

Melinda would have
a ready-made family.

You think he's right
for Melinda?

I mean, I remember him
as pleasant enough, but...

Laurel, she should
be so lucky.

He's got a very
successful dental
practice in Manhattan.

He plays bridge.

He likes to hike.

You think he'd be interested
in Melinda...

especially when her past
unfolds?

Yes, I know, she's in
no bargaining position,

not when all
the facts come out.

Look, I can only
bring them together.

It's not like he's
the kind of guy

who would ever wind up
hurting her.

That means a lot.

Left to her own devices,

Melinda can be
very self-destructive.

But Bud is sweet,
and I know he's lonely

because he's taken ads
in the personal columns
to meet women.

Don't tell Melinda that.

Peter's checking
into her custody case

to see if it's really
a lost cause.

Well, I told her
to meet us here for lunch.

She should be here
after her job interview.

Should we sit?

I don't know.
Can we take this table?

Thanks.

I know it's here somewhere.

Ah, we've got this houseguest
living here.

Everything's messed up,
you know?

I wish she would check with me
before she moves my possessions.

I love your loft.

It's really amazing.

Here we are.

An essay on Desdemona's
role in Othello.

The scene I think you should do
in our next class

is the Desdemona scene
I gave you,

the one we talked about
yesterday.

You really think
I'm ready for it?

I do.

I told you before, you're among

the two or three most talented
students in my class,

and the sooner you start
challenging yourself,
the better.

You're the only one
who makes me feel

confident enough
to take chances.

Aren't you nervous

bringing me back
to your apartment?

That's okay.

My wife's shopping,

and then she's
going to lunch.

She's always shopping
and lunching.

She grew up shopping
and lunching.

Her mother shopped
and lunched,

and her grandmother.

You shouldn't really drink
so early in the day.

Shopping and lunching
is what you get

when you marry a
Park Avenue princess.

What does your wife do?

Besides shopping?

She teaches tin-eared
teenagers

at a music school
several days a week.

You know, it's funny, but...

life has a malicious way of
dealing with great potential.

Hi.

I just got back from
my job interview.

I... I don't think
it went too well. So...

Just stopped off for
a little pick-me-up.

Are you okay?

Yeah.

Yeah, well, I'm gonna go meet
Laurel and Cassie for lunch

in our old neighborhood.

I'm just gonna
go freshen up.

The park hasn't
changed a bit.

Not at all.

It brings back
so many memories.

Oh, those days are gone
when the three of us

thought we could
call the shots.

What I wouldn't give
to wake up

and find my whole life
has been a bad dream

and we're all still 17.

Tell me about it.

Well, you wouldn't
change anything.

I mean, your life

is pretty much
on track, right?

Well, the question's
not fair.

I mean, who
wouldn't profit

from a second go

So, what about
Bud Silverglide?

The Park Avenue dentist

with the charming
little daughter?

He's a wonderful guy.

If anything ever did happen
and you-you hit it off,

you could establish
something real and solid,

not more unrealistic
pipe dreams

that can't help
but wind up badly.

Oh, I'm sorry.

Did that come out harsh?

The truth is, I'm nervous.

I want to meet someone
so desperately,

but when the chance
comes along,

I just... I panic.

Look, it won't be a date.

I'll make a dinner party,

and we'll all be there
to support you, and...

and I'll invite a
number of nice guests,

and, and he'll be
one of the guests,

and, if you meet
and hit it off,

then great, and, if not,
then no obligation.

Yeah, when he hears my story...

Oh, my God,
I come with such baggage.

Well, don't go in with
a defeatist attitude.

Yeah. I mean, first
see if you even like him.

Yeah, well, if he's as nice
as Cassie's painting him... .

He's a good catch,

if I can speak pragmatically.

Especially for you, 'cause he's
got his feet on the ground.

If I find him at all attractive,

I think I should just tell him
my whole story right off.

O-Or do you think
it's better to wait?

Let him take the hook first

and then run with it?

Oh, God, I can't believe
I'm even s..., um, asking this.

I'm-I'm already strategizing.

I haven't even met this guy yet.

If we're gonna do this, though,

it has to be
completely informal,

'cause I can't handle it
any other way.

I don't have any
dressy clothes anyhow.

Funny part of that is,
as elegant as I can look--

and you know, I can
look pretty stylish--

um, men find women sexier
in casual attire.

It's true.

I could wear
my hair down and loose.

That's enticing already.

At least, it's not intimidating.

Uh, you haven't told him
anything about me, have you?

I can if you like.

No. No.

My sad tale should come
from my lips,

if and when
I choose to reveal it.

Cut!

Okay, great.
That was great. It was great.

Uh, you know,
you took the note great.

Print one and six, please. Yeah.

That was good.

You got it?
Yeah, I got it.

Okay. Hey, everybody, that's
lunch. One hour! Thank you!

Hey, are you
gonna join us?

We're gonna go get
a pizza at John's.

No, I'm meeting a friend.

You know what?
Tell the actors

we're gonna do scene 10
instead of 26.

Okay. We're doing scene 10
instead of 26.

Hey.
Hey.

How are ya?
Should we
just sit here?

Yeah.

So

Doug says
that Steve Walsh

is very inclined
to put up the money.

He very much
likes your script,

and he wants
to have lunch with you.

Oh, my God, fantastic!

Yeah, it looks
really good.

He did express
some concern

that you intended for Hobie
to play the psychiatrist.

You know,
he wants a name.

I understand.

It's gonna be kind of
a touchy subject at home

because, I mean, the truth is,
he'd make the perfect shrink,

and... he knows it,

but let's face it,
he's not a name,

and I want people to see
my movie, too, so...

Well, I'm sure that you guys
will figure it out,

and I think
it's very exciting.

Oh, by the way,
Doug and I know somebody

who would be perfect
for Melinda,

your downstairs neighbor
who crashed dinner last week.

Oh, yeah, yeah.

Remember Greg Earlinger?

No.
Yes, Doug's dentist.

You met him
with us once.

Oh, yeah, yeah. He's...

And he has a
great sports car.

The Bentley.

He's single
and available,

and I know she would
find him fascinating

because he's smart,
he's sensitive...

What makes you think he'd
be interested in her?

She seemed quite pretty,
and she's offbeat,

and Greg always
likes complicated women.

Doug has already
hyped him on her.

Ask her if we can
give him her number. Okay?

Okay. Mm-hmm.

Hey.

Melinda.

Hey.

Hi.
Hi.

Uh, my friend Walt.

Walt, this is Melinda.

Hey.
Hi.

How are you?
Nice to
meet you.

How's it going?

Oh. All right.

I just interviewed for
a job at an art gallery

and I-I don't think
it went too well.

You never know.

I-I had a voice-over audition
this morning.

Thought I'd never get it.

Bang, I was chosen.

It's the voice
of a toothpaste.

Well, that's good.

You know, I'm trying to decide
whether I should stay and wait

for the phone call
or whether I should go out

and treat myself to a movie.

Why don't you
come with us?

Where?

We're going
to the track.

To the track?

Yeah. Horse races.

Belmont.

What?
You play the horses?

Uh, never.

Well, I-I go
every ten years.

Walt's, Walt's
always going.

He's a gambling
degenerate.

WALT:
Thank you. Yes.

Can't you tell
I'm a degenerate?

I'm a complete novice
like you.

Come on.

It's a, it's
a beautiful day.

We'll have
some laughs.

Um, sure, I-I
don't have any money.

Uh, I've, I've got
plenty of money...

for both of us.

We'll pool our resources...
if you want.

Okay. All right.

Yeah.
Nice to meet you.

Nice to meet you.

MELINDA:
Come on!

You can do it!
Come on,
Bedazzled!

Bedazzled!
Come on,
Bedazzled!

No, no. You did not
bet on Bedazzled!

I bet on
Bedazzled.
Oh, no.

He's a 90-to-1 horse!

I know, but if
it wins, we're rich.

No, he's right, Hobie.

He's dropping back.

No, no, no, no, no.
He's second.

He's second, he's second...
second from last. He's...

So, I have to ask you,
how did you go from living

on the Upper East Side
to

I moved there for him.

He was gorgeous.

He was talented.

He was sexy.

He was a doctor.

He was charming.

Yes, but where
is the attraction?

He just knew
how to touch me.

You mean emotionally?

No, with his hands.

Oh.

I'm a very
passionate person,

so sex is very
important to me.

You know, I need a lot
of physical intimacy,
very often and creatively.

Right. Right, right,
right, right, right.

No, that's,
that's, yeah.

Am I being too frank?

No, no, no.
No, I-I, you're just...
uh, I'll be okay.

I just get...
I get hot flashes.

Well, your wife is
very passionate.

I can tell just
by looking at her.

Right. Right.

A lot of people
have noticed.

Wh-Why did your
marriage fail again?

He was cheating
with his secretary.

I felt neglected,

so I started seeing
someone else.

I just want to
find someone,

fall in love
and have a life.

* *

Hello!

Hey!

Guess what!

What?

Steve Walsh is gonna put up
the money for my film.

Oh, that's great.
Congratulations.

Yeah. So, if I'm suddenly
very busy and distracted,

just don't take it
personally.

All right.

And we have to talk
about casting.

Yes.
What'd you do today?

Oh, uh, I,
uh, told you.

I went, uh, went
out to the track.

Oh, yeah.
With who again?

With who?
With me, with me.

With me, uh...
me and Walt.

Walt, Walt Wagner.

Well, I hope you
didn't lose a lot.

No. We, we don't have a lot,
so I couldn't.

In fact, uh, if I,
if I had more money,

we, we, we could
have lost more.

It's a, it's a system
I developed.

What's wrong with you?

Why couldn't you just tell her
Melinda came along?

What did you just

say about Melinda?

What, what, no, what would
I say about Melinda?

I didn't, I didn't say
anything about Melinda.

You just muttered her name.

Oh, that. No,
I just was wondering

how the poor
thing's doing.

You know, plain-
looking girl, all alone...

I'd hardly call her
plain-looking.

Well, I mean,
you know.

Jennifer wants to set
her up with someone.

Jennifer?
Yeah.

Remember Greg Earlinger,
Doug's dentist?

We met him once.

He's, he's a tall, sexy,
handsome-looking guy.

The Bentley,
very well-off.

Charming, bright.

You commented on how
impressive he was.

I, I... Vaguely. I...

Well, anyway, Doug's
hyped him on Melinda.

Yeah, I think. Why?

I-I do recall him.

Was-wasn't he kind of
full of himself, though?

Kind of an unjustified
self

As I recall, it was
pretty justified.

Right. One,
one of those guys

who has an answer
for everything.

I'm just gonna call Melinda
and make sure it's okay

if we give him
her number.

N-No. No, no, don't.
Don't be silly.

What, what does she want
to do with a dentist?

I mean, she was already
married to a-a doctor.

She found that dull.

A dentist is the same
thing, but oral.

Greg's not dull.

He hikes. He's a
great bridge player.

Tennis. He goes
on safaris.

Well, it sounds...
I mean, safar...

Who goes on safaris?

Shh-shh-shh.

You need shots to do that.

Shh-shh. Melinda,
hey, it's Susan.

How are you?

Why are you doing this?

Good. Listen,
I was wondering

if it was okay with you
if we, uh, give your number

to this wonderful,
available guy.

Don't. No, I'm not
giving the number out.

Don't say that I'm
giving the number.

I kn... He's a
very rich dentist.

He's cultivated and athletic.

He's gorgeous-looking.

This is a bad.
"Gorgeous dentist"
is an oxymoron, by the way.

And, um... yeah.

No, there's nothing
to be nervous about.

Look, we'll all go out,
the four of us.

We'll go to, um,
we'll go to dinner

or we'll go to a
show or something.

I don't think
you'll be sorry.

I think she's never, ever
gonna go for it. Ever.

Okay, great.

Not in a million years.
Fantastic.

Okay, bye.

She loves the idea.

Mm-hmm.

I told you.

Hi. What are you
doing down here?

I got it.
I got the part.

The director just
kept insisting.

And the producers
finally gave in.

Oh, that's great, Lee.

Finally, a role
I can make sing.

This is a big shot
for me, Laurel.

I know.

Well, you're certainly
a natural for the character.

Well, why would
you say that?

Well, you said it
like a hundred times.

I said I could act
the hell out of it.

The character's
a loser as written.

Let's not fight about this.

I just meant that nobody can
play the part like you can.

You see me like
that, don't you?

Lee.

I'm asking: is that
how you see me?

Lee, I'm really, really
happy for you.

I know how much
you wanted this.

Can't we just
leave it at that?

I, I, I'm wired.

I didn't mean
to seem snappish.

Should we go out
to dinner and celebrate?

Well, aren't you forgetting?

Tonight's Cassie's party.

Oh, yeah, right.

Okay. Jesus.

Well, I think it's time
Melinda met someone, moved on.

I'd like a little privacy
in the apartment.

Okay.

I've got a couple
of options.

Mm-hmm.

I could wear...

I can wear this skirt...

with this shirt...
like this.

This goes round
the other way... like this.

And I could wear it with this
shirt here. What do you think?

Oh, I think the silk one
is sexier,

but this one's
really elegant.

You think
the silk one's sexier?

So maybe I should
just wear this.

You know, sex works
best in the end.

Men like to feel
there's some kind of hot payoff

waiting for 'em somewhere
down the track.

God, look at me.
I'm so fat.

Fat?

Melinda, everyone
should be so fat.

I didn't eat anything
since Friday.

I wanted to lose six pounds
by tonight. Look at me.

It's not
healthy.

An empty stomach
and all those pills, and...

I don't know.
Maybe this is better.

I mean, maybe sex is too
predatory a message to send,

and elegance is
a wiser opening gambit.

I don't think it matters much.

I mean, you look great
either way.

Doesn't she, Lee?

LEE:
Oh, yeah.
Very stylish.

Look at me. I'm just,
I'm, I'm fat.

I can't lose any weight.

I, I think I need another drink.

Yeah.

Alcohol is fattening.

Can you make it a vodka?

Plus an empty stomach
with pills?

No, vodka's not fattening.

I mean, just, I just need
something to calm me down

just to make me feel
a little more confident.

I've got these goddamn
circles under my eyes.

You look fine.

That's easy for you
to say, Laurel,

because you're
still beautiful.

But, I mean, just look at me.

I feel like
I'm running on empty.

I don't want to go.

Oh, Melinda.

I mean, really, honestly, I
don't want to go to this thing.

Come on. It's just a little
party with friends.

How did I wind up desperate?

Because that's
what I am, Laurel.

There's no other word.

You're a catch, Melinda.

For the right man,
you really are.

Falling in love is going
to work wonders for you.

Hey, congratulations.

I hear Lee got that part.

Oh, we're very excited.

No one at school ever played
the classics like Lee.

They still talk about the
Strindberg series that he did.

Yes, well, he's really
held himself back

from commercial work

because he's, he's got
such high standards.

You know, he won't do anything
just for the money.

Yeah.

I knew that director
would have his way,

and he wanted you.

Well... my agent's bringing
some film people to the opening,

'cause there's talk
of a project in California.

Hmm. Well, I'd drink
to your good fortune,

but vodka's not good
for Samantha.

It's going to be a girl.

Cassie, I, I never slept
with a pregnant woman before.

No?

No. It always struck me
as so erotic, you know?

Doing it with your big belly.

Oh, Peter says it's just
like screwing any fat person.

I don't suppose he'd
lend you out to me

just, just for one night

so I could satisfy
a lifelong lustful curiosity?

Why don't you just
get Laurel pregnant?

And then you wouldn't
need to make arrangements

for a loaner.

Well, maybe if things
work out now, you know,

we can start
to think about it.

I always wanted
to have kids.

Right. Just knock her up,

and then you can make love
to her in all the trimesters.

If you knew how much
I wanted to do it with you
in your gravid condition,

you'd do it, just out
of human kindness.

It's too late.

Ball was in your court
years ago,

and you ran in
another direction.

Hey, how's our
matchmaking going?

They seem to be hitting it off
pretty well.

Peter, what's it like
to sleep with a pregnant woman?

Have you ever made love

with a loser
at Weight Watchers?

Didn't I tell you?

BUD:
The great thing about
hiking is you're free.

You feel free.

You're up there
in the mountains
or in the woods,

and, um, it's beautiful,
almost religious.

And I am not religious.

Eh, certainly not after
Dorothy passed away.

That must have been really
tough on your daughter.

I've, um, I've tried
to explain it all to Emily,

including the whole
religious aspect, but, uh...

what the hell-- she's four.

I, I just don't want her
to, um, be angry at God

or against religion.

I, I want her
to be happy and...

educate herself and make her
own decisions about the...

big questions.

Look, Melinda, um,
I'd love to call you.

Maybe we could
spend some time

getting to know
one another.

I know you, you just
returned to New York,

but it's really changed.

I'd be glad
to show you around.

Uh, to tell you the truth, Bud,

I don't really think
I'm ready to go out yet.

I don't think
it would be fair to you.

Maybe when
I'm a little more settled.

Sure.

At your leisure.

I understand.

Uh, oh, Jesus.

Emily's with
a new sitter tonight,

and, of course,
I'm a basket case.

Oh, that's very sweet.

Um, would you excuse me?

Laurel,
you know this one.

Play.

I can't.

He plays
so beautifully.

Hey, yeah.
Come on.

Come on.

Take over.

You're wonderful.

I'm sorry.
I didn't mean to interrupt you.

I'm just going
to get a drink.

Oh, that's okay.

I was just rubbing this lamp,
hoping to change my life.

Well, I believe in magic.

In the end, I think
it's the only thing

that can save us.

You're the piano player.

Not anymore.
I'm on a break.

A mysterious stranger has,
uh, temporarily taken over,

and I must say
she plays beautifully.

Hey, are your eyes
misting over?

This song-- it's
meaningful to me.

It was playing the night
I met someone.

So, are they tears
of sorrow or tears of joy?

Well, aren't those
the same tears?

Yeah.

Why is it that things that
start off so promisingly

always have a way
of ending up in the dumper?

Not for everyone.

Well, for anybody
with any imagination.

You know, life is
manageable enough

if you keep
your hopes modest.

The minute you allow
yourself sweet dreams,

you run the risk of them
coming crashing down.

Believe me.

There's plenty of old songs
that I cry over.

My name's Melinda.

Melinda Robicheaux.

It's French.

That is a very
beautiful name.

Thank you.
It's my mother's.

She married a doctor-- Nash.
So I grew up Nash.

But I've changed it
to her name.

And that is a wise choice.

It's very musical.

My name is Ellis Moonsong.

I am from Harlem, USA.

Ellis Moonsong.

Is that really your name?

Yes, it is.

Let's go and sit down.

It's wonderful.

You also play beautifully.

Well, you know, one thing
I could always do

was make music.

I can, I can play
all the instruments,

but my, my, my specialty
is composition.

I've written, uh, two operas.

One was done at Yale

and, I'm proud to say,
successfully.

And the other one is being done
in Santa Fe next summer.

Very impressive.

Oh, yeah, listen to me brag.

I'm insecure, you know,
so I sell myself.

The truth is not everybody
likes the music.

You know, they're kind
of modern,

but, you know, I must say,

the critics were
extremely supportive.

Is that what you want to be?
Another Verdi or Puccini?

I don't kid myself,
you know, but, yeah.

If I could rub that lamp
and have my wish--

operas, symphonies,
string quartets.

There's a lot of interest
in my work in Europe.

I might go to Barcelona
or to Paris to live soon.

God, I can't stop
gushing about myself.

You know, you've opened
Pandora's box.

And you?

Well, I don't write opera,

but, um, my life has been one.

I'm one of those heroines
too high-strung

for existence on this planet.

Although, in my case,

I brought my worst
troubles on myself.

I shouldn't have reached so
thoughtlessly for my dreams.

Well, we grab without thinking
because we're passionate people.

I knew you were passionate
the minute we started talking.

How?

How? Well, your eyes,
your voice.

I, I got a, I got a great
instinct about people.

You know, I do.
It's a gift.

Let me get right
to the point.

Can I get
to know you better?

You know, I got
to go back and play,

but could we have lunch,
you know, or, or dinner?

Well, you can certainly
have my number,

if that's what you're asking.

Oh, um, let me...
I'll just get a pen.

There you are.

I saw Mr. Bud Silverglide.

Oh, the mystery pianist.

Mr. Moonsong.
Ellis Moonsong,
this is Laurel.

Laurel? I dated a Laurel.

She, uh, she broke my heart.

I wrote this piece of music,
and I dedicated it to her

in the hope that it
would win her back.

Let me be the first
to tell you, it did not.

He composes serious music.

You two should have a lot
to discuss,

'cause Laurel gave concerts.

Oh, well, those days have
vanished with the lost chord.

His opera was
a big success at Yale.

And they're doing
the other one where?

Uh... at the, uh,
Santa Fe Opera House.

It's great
when it's all stretched out

in front of you, isn't it?

ELLIS:
Well, I, I wish I was
as optimistic as you.

Well, I'll,
I'll call you tomorrow.

Oh, I'm busy tomorrow.

LAUREL:
What's tomorrow?

Well, then I'll, I'll
call you the day after.

If you feel like it.

What happened with you
and the swell dentist?

He was very, very sweet.

Very cute.

But just not for me.

But Ellis Moonsong
is very poetic.

Oh, Melinda.

Things are amazing.

You meet a total stranger,
and, in a sudden rush,

you're thinking to yourself,
could I live in Barcelona?

Be careful.

I mean, you can't
go through life

rubbing lamps and wishing.

It doesn't work.
Take it from me.

Hey.

Greg Earlinger.

Hi.

Greg Earlinger.

I'm Susan.
We've met.

Sure. Sure.

This is Melinda.

Oh, yes!

Hi.

Wow. Nice
to meet you.

Nice to meet you.

Um, so this is Hobie.

Oh, hi.
You're the gynecologist.

Uh, close.

No, I'm-I'm the dentist.

Dentist.

Dentist.
What were you thinking?

I love it at this time of year.

It's so beautiful.

Yeah, it's nice
when it's so bright, huh?

You know, it's really, uh,
it's really sexy, isn't it?

You look
a little carsick.

Why, 'cause I'm
the color of guacamole?

I think this is going
really well.

Look how happy she looks.

Uh-huh.

I wish we could afford
a place in the Hamptons.

Everybody who's anybody
has one.

Yeah, but if you're somebody
who's nobody,

it's no fun to be around anybody
who's everybody.

Isn't he charming?

And don't tell me
he's not gorgeous.

If you like perfect features...

Don't be such a crab.

I'm gonna try to come
out here more often.

MELINDA:
Wow.

SUSAN:
Oh, it's so big.

GREG:
Wow, thank you.

Uh, it's so clean, too.

I-It's a great place
to entertain, which I love.

SUSAN:
Oh, my God, Hobie,
isn't it amazing?

HOBIE:
Yeah, I love the, uh,
I love the ramp.

It's wheelchair-accessible.

That's important out here.
That's good.

GREG:
Go ahead, guys. Go in.

It's tremendous
for aerobics.

Come on, try it,
Hobie.

What do you do
for exercise?

Uh, tiddlywinks a-and an
occasional anxiety attack.

Try it, Hobie.
It's good manners.

Since when do I have
good manners?

MELINDA:
What is that?
Is it a pig?

SUSAN:
I don't know.

Hey, Greg, did you shoot this?

Well, actually,
I-I shot all of those.

Twice a year
I go to Africa.

The experience would take
your breath away.

Huge herds of kudu--
greater kudu and lesser kudu.

Wow.

Wh

The, the greater kudu
or the lesser kudu?

Hobie!

You know, I always thought

that it would be
the sexiest thing in the world

to just sleep out
under the stars

in the middle of the jungle...

Yeah, I like that.

Yeah, it would be great
if you don't mind waking up

with a python
in your sleeping bag.

No, no, no.
They have beds.

The whole thing
is very civilized.

They have beds and bathrooms
and showers, the whole thing.

But no elevators, right?

In case you're being
chased by a tiger

and you have
to get up into a tree.

Hobie, are you kidding?
It's not funny.

I can't climb,
so I'd have to take
the elevator.

I don't understand.

Me, neither.

Uh, did you,
did you shoot
all the furniture

that we're sitting on?

So, um, Melinda,
have you ever shot a gun?

How quickly was it shot?
Was it freshly shot?

Shh. Let them talk.

Right here?

That's fine.

This was great fun.
Thank you so much.

Now, are you sure
you're gonna be all right?

I'm fine.
He'll be fine.

Well, do you want
to come up for a drink?

Ooh!
A drink.

Yeah, we could...
I guess we could do that.

No! No, we can't,

'cause you have
to get up so early.

Why? I, I'm out of work.
I'm not working right now.

Hey, do you have
any tequila?

'Cause I make the world's
most potent margarita.

They're very strong.
I sure do.

They're very strong.

Are you...
are you all right?

Here, can I help you?
Here.

Yeah. Let me just...

Very good.
You know this car so well.

He's like an old man.

Here we go.
Thank you.

You're welcome.
Don't trip.

Whoo-hoo.
It's like we're dancing.

Tequila's on
the Surgeon
General's list.

Just be quiet, okay?

Why did he have
to stop twice

to get the car washed?

Shh!

God, he's incredible, isn't he?

It'd be great for Melinda
if things worked out.

I, I, I wouldn't let that guy
fill my teeth.

I mean, anyone who gets
his jollies

putting holes in animals....

The Ernest Hemingway
of the root canal set.

He's probably got her
in bed by now.

I didn't think
she could stand him.

Not every woman falls
for that phony social rap,

you know, with the Haut-Brion
and special cheeses

and backgammon trophy.

I mean, some, someone must blow
this guy up with an air hose.

You know what?

Can we just
not discuss it?

And frankly,
I thought you acted
like a clown.

Now, can I talk to you
for a minute?

And try not to get upset.

What? You want
to tell me,

you want to spend
more time in the Hamptons

whether I go
with you or not?

I told you Steve Walsh
is gonna coproduce my film.

Yes, it's fantastic.

Uh, incidentally,
I, I figured out
a great way

to play
the psychiatrist.

It's, it's fresh;
with a limp.

I, I do a, a great limp.

And that will account

for his own
crushing insecurity.

Hobie...

That way, when I make
a pass at Rosalie,

I, I expect
the rejection.

Hobie, you're not gonna
be able to play the shrink.

Why not?

Steve wants a name.

I, I, I have a name.

I have a name
on my driver's license.

He won't go with an unknown.

Well, but you're
the director.

You say what goes.

Except for without him,
there's no film.

But, I, I'm the
perfect psychiatrist.

You said it
a million times.

I know, but I think

I can find something else
for you in the script.

Like what?

Well, what about
Moe Flanders?

You'd be a natural.

In fact, you're more
Moe Flanders

than you are the shrink.

Flanders?

With the retarded
elevator operator,

with the cleft palate?

That, that, is that
how you see me?

When have I ever said
you had a cleft palate?

MELINDA:
Help!

Oh, my God.
That's Melinda.

He's raping her.

He probably put Novocaine
in her margarita.

Help!

What!

Help!

What's wrong?!
What's wrong!

I got a tick!

There's a tick
in my leg!

Where's Greg?

What the hell can Greg do?

He's a dentist.

He doesn't do
tick extractions.

Oh, he had to go.
His beeper went off.

He had some kind of emergency.

Someone probably saw
a charging rhino

on Sixth Avenue,
and they needed a hunter.

Get it out!
It's creepy!

Please! Please!
Get it out!

I don't know how
to get a tick out!

I, I grew up in the Bronx.
We had mice.

Look, you need a doctor.
It could get infected.

You can't pull it out 'cause
then the body comes out

and the head stays
in there.

No, no, no, no,
I, I feel terrible!

I think I'm gonna faint!
Seriously!

You should take her
to the emergency room.

There's a tick inside me
sucking my blood!

No, no. It's not
sucking your blood!

Those are leeches!

But this is disgusting enough!

I'm so sorry.

It was so nice of you
to come and hang with me.

Oh, it's okay.

Actually, I love watching
a live creature

being pulled out
of somebody's body
at 3:30 in the morning.

If that, if that
happens again,
please call me.

Well, it was
really nice of you.

I mean, this whole day.

It's obvious
you don't care much
for the beach.

It's not the beach so much
as it is the ocean

and the sand and
the seagulls and...

things like that.

Well, go. You've had
a long day. Rest.

Call me. I'm over here
if you need me, okay?

But try not to panic.

The screaming
frightened me.

And you would
be totally cool

if you had a live insect

crawling around
under your skin
sucking your blood?

I, I don't know
if I'd enjoy it,

but I wouldn't,
I wouldn't panic.

Well, that's good

because there's one
on the back of your neck.

My, my neck?

Your neck.

My neck?
Yes. Right here.

Get it off!
Get it off me!

Ooh, it's okay.
Relax! Okay.

This is so exciting.

I've never been
to the races before.

Hey, here's a horse called
Broadway Melody.

I think
it's a lucky name.

Well, it's not
very sensible

to pick horses
by their names,

but I guess
it's romantic.

That was so
beautiful.

Oh, there is
no more sublime music

than that second movement,
I swear to God.

Laurel cannot listen
without crying.

See? Her eyes
are all red.

Lee, please.

Hey, I'm with her.

You know, when Raphael
first laid eyes

upon the Sistine Chapel,
he passed out.

Aren't you gonna
find us a taxi?

Yeah, let's go.

Okay. Here we go.

Okay. She's head over heels
in love with him.

He's gifted. He's sensitive.

He is unfazed
by the details of her past.

He is, in fact,
moved by her suffering.

Even the awful story
she's been reluctant to tell,

but feels that she must.

I killed him.

But it was
an accident.

No.

In my defense, I will say

I was out of my
mind on drugs.

I... I-I shouldn't
say drugs. Pills.

Pills to help me
sleep at night.

Pills to keep me awake.

Whatever I could
get my hands on

to sweep my various pains
and anxieties under the rug.

But if I'm honest about it,
I, I did mean to do it.

No.

I denied it in the trial,
of course.

But the-the fact is, I...

I couldn't think
of what else to do.

I-I thought about
killing myself.

Why I didn't, I can't say.

It would have been
much more rational.

I thought about
killing his girlfriend.

Maryanne was her name.

Maryanne Lane.

And it was, um...

it was so easy buying a gun.

I just drove out of state,
and I walked into a store,

and I bought one.

There were no questions asked.

I bought a box of bullets,

and I loaded it like I'd been
handling one my whole life.

It was all very premeditated...

despite what my attorneys
would have everyone believe.

And then I...

drove back to where he worked.

It was next to a Christian
Science Reading Room,

I remember that.

And I just waited out the front
for him to come out.

And even that
wasn't very difficult.

There was a slight drizzle--
I remember that--

but the wait wasn't
interminable.

And then...

when he came out
and walked to his car,

I simply confronted him.

And he said some very cold
and cruel things to me.

And I shot Mr. San Giuliano...

...as I had planned to.

As I had planned.

Well, they must have felt

that the circumstances
were extenuating

if you got off so lightly.

It may seem
lightly to you,

but it was nothing but hell.

And, if you've never been
arrested and put on trial,

well, that alone
is sentence enough.

The horror, the...

the tension, the police,
the journalists.

I went over my story
hundreds of times.

The jilted mother,
seduced away from her family,

sick on drugs,
the struggle for the gun,

the gun goes off.

But there was no struggle.

That was legal fiction.

Well, you had good lawyers.

Not like your
child custody team.

I remember just lying in my cell
at night and thinking,

"My God...

"you are Melinda Nash
from Park Avenue.

"What the hell are you doing

in a woman's prison
in Illinois?"

So, naturally, after I got out,
I, um...

I decided to end it all.

What do you want?

I want...

to want to live.

Everybody
wants to live.

Now that I met you, I'm feeling
a little more positive about it.

Congratulate me.

I just got canned.

Well, my version differs
from theirs.

They would have you believe
I couldn't hold my liquor...

which anyone who knows me
knows is a baseless canard.

Oh, Lee, I knew
this would happen.

Oh, you did?
Well, why didn't you tell me?

I'm angry and disgusted.

I mean, Christ,
can you blame them?

Thank you
for the emotional support.

I'll see you around.

Hey.

Hi.
Hey.

Are you all right?
You seem a little glum.

Lee got fired.

Oh...

What happened?

It was the producer.

They'd always
wanted a name.

I guess
they got nervous

'cause ticket sales
were slow.

I'm sorry.

You know how well I know the
realities of the marketplace.

Yeah, so what
are you gonna do?

I don't know
if I should sit home

and feel sorry
for myself or
go shopping,

splurge to blot out
my depression.

Don't do either.
Come with us.

With you?

Sure. I just picked
up Melinda

and I'm gonna take her
to a recording session.

A friend of mine's
doing Bartok.

Oh, but no.
No, no, come on.

It'll take your mind
off things.

You once said
you loved Bartok.

They're doing
a quartet.

You remembered
I liked him?

Come on.

Do I have time
to change?

No, you look fine.
Look at me.

But I feel so grungy.
I've been working all day.

All right, but hurry.

And then we'll go
get a coffee.

Okay.

It's beautiful, isn't it?

They're so good.

I could never decide

between the piano
and the cello.

The result is I play
them both badly.

And the viola.

I heard you play
the piano.

You're very good.
No.

Yes. Full of feeling.

You have a lovely touch
of the keys.

I can always see
right through to
a person's soul

by their intonation
on an instrument.

Keyboard, horn or strings,
I can. It's a gift.

And you saw my soul?

Right off the bat.

That first party,
when you sat down
next to me to play,

the minute
you touched the keys,

the chord went through me
like a knife.

I, I don't dare ask
you what you saw.

It's great.

Although, I find
the more turbulent parts

a little scary.

He's still not home.

Well, look,
why don't you come
to dinner with us?

Oh, no, I can't.

Yeah, come on.
It's gonna be fun.

We'll go down to this
little bistro downtown west.

It's very quiet, very dark,
you know, very French.

I haven't been
to a dark bistro
since college.

Well, come on.
You're gonna love it.

I've fallen in love there
a bunch of times.

MELINDA:
Come on.

'Cause Melinda was
the fast, advanced one.

Oh, come on.

All the men
were crazy for her.

Yes, sure.

They were drawn to her.
Mm-hmm.

Her unpredictability.

No, Laurel was the star
of our group.

I remember how
jealous everyone was

when you married Lee.

Lee was the most attractive,
most charismatic actor.

My God.

You almost broke
Cassie's heart,

not that she'd
ever admit it.

Forgive me.

Am I being
too open here?

It's just, uh,
I feel great.

What is this?

It's a Haut-Brion.

Uh-huh.
Ooh, my head is swimming.

Mm.
But it feels good.

Now, you were the first one
in our group

to sleep with a man.

Because you were
so very sophisticated.

I admired it.

Uh-huh.
I did.

Yeah, well,
it was probably true

'cause I, I
always had a,
uh, deep hunger

for, uh,
physical intimacy.

A hunger that could
not be denied.

Well, not once
adolescence descended

and the hormones kicked in.

Melinda had a reputation
for being postmodern in bed.

Life is short.

That was a sobering
discovery I made

when my mother
killed herself.

Short. And not about
anything except

what you can touch
and what touches you.

And whereas I...

I've only made love
with one man in my life.

Lee was the first,

and Lee was the whole story
ever since.

That's perfect.

No, I mean it.

You know, I think there's
something almost mystical

about two people
who only know each other.

And really,
you're both very alike.

You know, you're
both very, uh,

very passionate women.

And you're poured
into one person,

and you've wanted
to live out different
experiences.

Is that you?

Mm. No.

No, I think...
Uh, it's me. Uh.

Oh, so,
I got a message.

That was Peter.

I think he's got some news
about my children.

Um, would you excuse me
for a minute?

Go, go, go ahead.

I was determined
not to ask you...

what you saw

when you looked right through
to my soul when we met,

but I want to know.

Something very clouded.

And, uh,
protective...

with lots
of longing.

There was, uh...

wow, there was
a great longing

in the notes
you played.

Well, I guess
that's as accurate a diagnosis

as a shrink would make,

and it took you
a much shorter time.

First you sat down
and pressed the keyboard,

and I thought,
"Who is this lovely creature

with the melancholy touch
on the keyboard?"

And then I saw
your wedding ring,

and I thought, you know,
"Story of my life."

Is that the story of your life?

Well, that's the main chapters.

Well, my first impression was,

he's handsome...

he's lost...

he's got inscrutable eyes...

Melinda would like him.

Speaking of Melinda.

I don't dare say this,
but it looks hopeful.

God, I almost wish

this opportunity
hadn't come up.

You know?

I, I just,
I don't know

if I can handle
the tension.

I mean, just say
it doesn't work out?

Oh, it will.

You have
to think positively.

She's right.

You know, you were correct
when you said

before that life is short
and not about anything,

but one thing I do know is that
we were not put on this Earth

to be dragged all the time.

We should go.

You know what?

I was hoping that,

um, you could come
by my class one afternoon

and lecture the students.

It would be so meaningful
to them.

I'd love to.

I'm a good lecturer.

I just hope I'm not a better
lecturer than a composer.

You're home.

LEE:
I'm sorry, Laurel.

I really messed
things up.

Yes, well, you really have

to get a handle
on your drinking.

Yes, and I will.

Of course, now
the boat's sailed.

Made you some dinner.

I ate.

Where were you?

Um...

I had some late meetings
at school.

I don't know what to do.

And you're sure?

Yes. It was there in
his talk, in his eyes.

And you flirted back?

Yes. I was out of control,

letting him know
I was there for him.

Oh, God, poor Melinda.
Poor Melinda.

I don't want to hear
about poor Melinda.

I mean, there are other
people whose lives
are falling apart.

Peter and I suspected
it was not going well with Lee.

Does everyone?

Am I gossiped about?

God, that poor girl.

Don't worry. I'm not
gonna do anything.

You already have.

If you and Lee
get divorced,

there'll be lots of men.

Peter and I can help.
No, Cassie,

I'm not gonna be the
pathetic single friend

getting introduced to
some dentist who puts
ads in the personals.

You're gonna act on this.
I see it.

I don't know what to do.

I can't stop thinking
about Melinda.

She just knocked
on our door,

carrying her neurosis
in her arms.

Now I can't get her
out of my mind.

Come on, man, you can't
be talking like that.

- You're
married.
- I know.

I know that.
I'm consumed with guilt.

I mean, I dream of myself
kissing Melinda,

and then I'm immediately
on trial at Nuremberg.

And how does Melinda
feel about all this?

Well, of course I haven't
been able to tell her that.

The subject of infidelity is
completely out of the question.

So you don't even
know if she shares
the same feelings?

No, I-I think we do.

I just haven't had a
chance to pursue it.

I mean, Walt,
here's the thing.

My marriage has
been on the decline
for a long time.

We hardly ever
sleep together,

and the last time we did,

Susan just lay there
staring into the darkness

as if her parents had
been killed in a fire.

Well, why can't you just...

why can't you just tell her
it's not working anymore?

Because I don't want
to hurt her feelings.

My podiatrist, I
couldn't fire him

when he operated
on my wrong foot.

Well, maybe you should go back
to your shrink, discuss it.

Nah, he'll just
recommend Prozac.

I think he has stock in
the company, honestly.

Well, maybe you're using
Susan as an excuse.

Did you ever
think of that?
No.

Yes. Maybe you don't even
really want to do it.

No, 'cause if there was
a button I could push,

and I could be
with Melinda

but I wouldn't hurt Susan,
I-I would do it.

Tell me this: how wise is it
to get involved with a woman

with Melinda's
track record?

That's why I'm convinced
that I'm in love with her.

Because there's no...

there's no logical
reason to be.

You're gonna have
to be a man.

Be honest
with Susan.
I don't know.

That's what you
have to do-- be
honest with her.

She'll live, you'll live.

Then you go out,

you buy Melinda
a nice little bauble.
Right.

I heard her say at the track
that she likes Art Deco.
Yeah?

Take her to a candlelit joint,
confess your feelings.

You sure?
Yeah. That's the way.

This is gonna crush Susan.

How you doing?

The, uh, the deco pin
there, how much is that?

That's $150.

Could you gift wrap
that for me?

Yes, of course.
Thank you.

I wish I could be with Melinda
without hurting my wife.

Oh! Oh, my God!

Hobie, what are you
doing here?

N
now, don't get upset.

Hobie, I think you should
know that Steve and I

have become attracted
to one another.

You have?

STEVE:
If you punch me
in the nose now,

I'd understand.

He came here to be with me
while I told you.

You have to admit,
things have been

running out of
steam between us.

I just... Try
to understand.

I-I do.

I think we've been
drifting ap...

Wait. You do understand?

I-I do. Most-most definitely.

Y-You're having an affair
with Steve Walsh.

He's... he's-he's wonderful.

He's-he's clever.
He's... he's smart,

He's fabulously wealthy.

I know.

Um, I just want you to know
I don't want anything.

I mean, I know how tough
your work has been for you,

and we've decided Steve

is just going to
help with all the
legal expenses.

And... and I just
want everything to be

as painless and as
civilized as possible.

And, you know, I think

that-that we can
always be friends.

Melinda? Hobie.

C-Can you meet me
for a few minutes?

Th-Th-There's something
I'm dying to talk to you about

just when you get off work.

Right, well, you know
that little c..., uh,

French bistro on the corner
of Tenth Avenue?

Uh-huh. Yeah, no,
the little candlelight joint

right near where you work.

Are you sure you should be
drinking so much...

without having any lunch?

Well, we... we worked
through lunch.

I was... I was doing a
voice-over commercial.

It's not what I envisioned

when I was at Northwestern.

They, uh... they still talk
about my portrayal of King Lear.

I-I played it with a limp.

How are you liking the job
at the... at the gallery?

Well, my boss is great.

She has amazing taste.

HOBIE:
Good.

I mean, it's not
a very high-paying job,

but it's-it's fantastic,
'cause I have plenty of time

to think about what I really
want to do with my life.

Well, I-I'm glad you said that.

Eh, um...

God, you, uh, you look, uh...
you look very pretty

in this... in this candlelight.

Well, I'm sure
anyone would look amazing

with all this...
flickering shadows

and all the wine
you're drinking.

Right, right, uh...

Well, I-I-I'm-I'm drinking

because life moves so fast...
so unpredictably.

You know, it's-it's
over so fast,

and in the end,
w

Chekhov said
a-a soap bubble.

Did I... did I tell you

I played Uncle Vanya once?

With a... with a limp.

It-it was
interesting.

You know, it's-it's funny

that-that you should say
"unpredictable,"

because I was...
I was walking home yesterday.

I have to tell you this story.

Um, so, some people were moving

into an apartment
on 90th Street,

and they were moving
this piano.

So there was this piano,
just, you know, sitting

in the middle of the sidewalk.

:
And I-I couldn't resist
the temptation

just to go up and give it
a little, little tinkle.

You know, I-I play
a little piano.

I-I used to play
in high school.

I actually... gave
some concerts.

So-so anyway, um,
I'm playing this piano.

I'm playing this little tune
that my mother taught me,

and this... this guy came up
and started talking to me.

Hi.

Hi.

That's good.

You play the melody.

All right.

Is that what
you're trying for?

Exactly.

Good.

So, his name is Billy Wheeler.

And he's a piano player.

And he also writes pretty music.

And he walked me
back to my apartment,

and he invited me out on a date.

And...

:
I think I'm in love.

In love?

Well, I-I mean,

I'm exaggerating, of course,

but some bell
definitely went off.

A

Well, you know,
one of those bells

that now and then rings,
as Mr. Cole Porter put it.

So, anyway, I just thought that
you would be pleased to know.

So, what is it
that you wanted to tell me?

I...

I don't, um...
It doesn't matter.

COMEDIAN:
Okay, the situation is perfect.

He's despondent.
He's desperate. He's suicidal.

All the comic elements
are in place.

Now, she's going out
with Billy Wheeler,

and Hobie's the single,
abandoned upstairs neighbor.

Now she's fixing him up.

We must know somebody for Hobie.

Well, what about
the woman who owns
your art gallery?

Oh, Phoebe's married.

Look, I don't need
to meet anyone.

I'm-I'm perfectly fine
just staying in my room and...

And what, moping?

You've got to get out
and reinvest your emotion.

Don't indulge
your depression.

BILLY:
Hey. Stacey Fox.

Why not?

Who?

I don't know her
well, but I know

she's recently
broken up with some
Wall Street guy.

She's bright and
great-looking.

What does she do?

Uh, investment
counseling.

Yeah, one of those

business suits
who makes love to you

while they're on
a conference call.

Well, she's not your
typical investment
counselor.

I think she recently
posed for a feature

for Playboy Magazine

on naked political
conservatives.

Well, uh, I don't know
if that's his type.

I mean, she's probably got
augmented cleavage.

Baby, she's
anybody's type.

Come on.

Wednesday's Halloween.

We were going
to go out.

You should
meet Stacey.

I think she
just broke up.

Hobie agrees to being fixed up,

but he's still madly in love
with Melinda.

He dreams about her
all the time.

He's consumed with jealousy.

He can't bear the thought

that she might be making love
with another man.

He wants to know!

But-but he doesn't want
to know.

It's driving him crazy.

* Come here, baby *

* I can't stand it *

* I can't take much more *

MELINDA:
Did you hear something?

Huh?
I heard something
at the front.

Can you just
go check the door?
Sure.

Make sure it's locked.

:
* ...like you're teasing me *

* Oh, baby *

* I love you, baby *

* I'm with you wrong or right *

* I'll keep you satisfied 'cause
satisfaction's guaranteed *

* Oh, baby, sure enough
you mean that much to me *

* Girl, I need your love *

* Just give me all your love *

* Love you, oh, baby *

* Oh, right now, right now,
right here, right here, baby *

* Ooh *

* Come on, come on,
come on, girl *

* Come on, baby *

* Come on, come on,
come on, baby *

* Come on, baby *

* Come on... *

What is it?
What's the matter?

I need to talk to you.

You look terrible.
What happened?

I think Laurel and Ellis
are having an affair.

What?

I'm going crazy.

I just...

Take it easy.

I don't know what to do.
Will you take it easy?

Well, what makes you
think so?

I just know it, okay?

I've been through this
once before.

And Laurel is supposed
to be my closest friend.

Well, but
what makes you think

that something's
going on?

I thought it was my paranoia.

Then last week I was coming
home from house-hunting.

Ellis was out of town.

And...

I overheard this argument
between Laurel and Lee.

What's this?

What?

Whose key is this?

Who is "A"?

"A"?

Whose keys are
in our bathroom?

Who was here?

I don't know.

You were with someone.

Laurel.

You had a woman up here.

I can't listen
to these accusations.

You slept with
someone here?!

Look, Laurel, leave me alone.

I can't get into another
big discussion of my life.

Just because I was up here
with someone talking,

it doesn't mean
we went to bed.

I am finished
with this, Lee.

I can't take this
anymore.

Ah, you're
a fine one to talk.

What does that mean?

I'm sure you would love
to call it quits

now you've got your eye
on someone else.

What?!

The way you throw yourself
at Melinda's boyfriend,

it's embarrassing.

Don't try and
turn this around.

Yeah, I'm amazed
she tolerates it.

She is such a lost soul.

Will you shut up?!
You're just trying

to mix things up
because you were caught.

No, you were caught.

I know you when you slip
into your seductive mode.

I'm not gonna have this
stupid conversation.

No, you don't have to worry.
I won't be around much longer.

And then you can feel free
to pursue whoever you want!

MELINDA:
From that moment...

the demons set in.

I just...
I, I couldn't sleep.

It doesn't matter
how many pills I take.

I just... I feel myself
consumed with suspicion,

and I'm ashamed of it.

Melinda.

Oh, come on, Cassie.
You know it's true.

I can see it in your face.

Look, you have
to pull yourself together.

You've, you've been
popping pills.

You've been drinking.

You can't drink and...
Stop avoiding answering me.

I don't know anything.

I called Ellis today.

He's not where he said he'd be,
and they weren't expecting him.

So, I called Laurel's school.

She'd called in sick.

Clearly, she's not home sick.

Listen,

even if your worst fears
were true,

you can't just go off
the deep end.

God.

I pick up the phone extension.

I have to know.

At the same time,
I, I don't want to know.

Listen, you cannot
give yourself

over to fantasies.

Let's, let's find out
the reality first,

and, and stop drinking.

For God's sakes,

it's not even noon yet.

Oh, God, I have an appointment
with your husband at noon.

Well, you're gonna be late.

I'm afraid the news is not good.

No?

My partner gave it
everything he had,

but the politics of the
situation is just too difficult.

Your ex-husband is
very well-connected

and very determined

to keep the children
from you.

And, naturally, the
criminal conviction
didn't help.

It's funny.

I steeled myself
for this result.

But, now that it's come...

You know,

I know this will
sound very Pollyanna,

but it's true.

When they grow up,
they will want to know

who their mother was,
and get to know you.

My guess is they'll
be quite angry

at their father for
his unreasonableness.

You'll see.

They'll grow up and come to you.

Hmm.

Well, I'm certain
that they will.

I'm sure that they'll
take after me

and look very much
like my mother. Mm.

My mother was a very gifted
interior decorator.

And I, I studied art,

so I've always had
this flair for graphics.

Can I get you
anything?

Um... no, I just,
I just hope that

you'll be, uh, sending
some of your clients to me

when I get
more established.

You know.

Did I tell you
that my mother...

my mother...

my mother was a very, um,
gifted interior decorator?

She was very talented.

She did some amazing houses,
um, on the Upper West Side.

:
Melinda...

there's been no easy way
to handle this situation.

You know, I think we need to...
I think we need to talk.

No, these situations
are never easy.

So, Melinda.

I really am sorry.

It's just...

We planned to tell you,

but each of us
was so bewildered

as how to approach it.

Bewildered.

It's...

it's not like we planned
on it happening.

No, we were going
to explain things

as soon as we figured out
the best approach.

I loved you.

I don't have
a satisfying explanation.

You know these things happen.

Living is messy.

My head is spinning.

I need to lie down and rest.

I, I, I want to close my eyes
and never open them again.

I'm going out the window.

Ellis...

Meli...

What are you doing?

I'm going out!

Come on! Come on!
Come on!

No! No!

LAUREL:
Oh.

Come on!

Cassie?

Melinda has to come
and stay with you for a while.

No, there is no other answer.

She has to be watched,

and I'd say it's a little
awkward with me and Ellis

under the circumstances.

Well, I can't be responsible,
either.

Oh, let's face it, Cassie.

She's one of those people
who will always need help.

It's sad, but...

we have to move on
with our lives.

MAN:
You killed her.

You killed her as
I am about to kill you.

MAN 2:
Come, Vitus...

are we men, or are we children?

Of what use are all these...

So, what do you think?

She's gorgeous.

Hard to believe

a Republican
could be that sexual.

I bet she could put
your portfolio in order.

Shh!

I thought you didn't
like to dance.

Oh, I'm-I'm just trying
to be a good sport.

Uh-huh.

Um, I think it'd... I think
it'd only be fair to tell you

I-I'm a liberal.

Oh.

Ar-Are you talking
politically

or in the bedroom?

I was talking politically.

In-in the-in the bedroom,
I'm a left-wing liberal.

Mmm.

In the bedroom,
I'm a radical.

Look, can-can I level
with you?

Um, i-in the past few months
of my marriage,

I-I really didn't sleep
with my wife.

We weren't sleeping at all.
Oh. Mm-hmm.

I-I, so it's, you know,
I'm a little out of practice.

Uh, I...

Politically speaking,

I'm ready for a little
affirmative action.

What do you say
we blow this joint

and go back
to your place?

My place?
Mm-hmm.

Yes, by all means.

It'd be great.
This-this is like a drea...

So you're not going
to hold the fact

that we have conflicting
viewpoints
Oh.

on-on the direction America
should take against me?

I mean, I'd hate it
to get all worked up

and then we find
we differ on a tax cut.

Listen. Here.
Come on.

I-I haven't made love
in a while either.

Oh. Yeah.

Yes, I will never vote
against school prayer again.

Hey, what are they up to?

What do you think?

So much dancing.
That was so much fun.

I... that's right.

Oh, you'll have to forgive
the-the disarray.

My cleaning woman
won $168 million

in the lottery, and she
asked for the day off.

I-I joke. I'm...

You must get depressed
sleeping alone.

Uh, well, the truth is,
I-I frighten myself.
Thank you.

I-I'm always worried

burglars are going
to break in.

I bought a baseball bat.

Oh, drinks.

I know the feeling
of being dumped.

Except in my case,

it was between my fiancé
and my best friend.

No.
Oh, yes.

A friend
I'd known all my life.

I mean,
we were schoolmates.

We went through everything
together.

I mean, Christ,
she was the one

who was responsible
for my meeting my fiancé.

Oh, it's a, it's
a-a s-sad story.

It's-it's awful.

You don't mind sleeping
on cotton sheets, do you?

I-I know you posed
for Playboy on satin.

I couldn't help noticing

how they'd always
make eye contact.
Mmm.

Look at one another.
Mm-hmm.

I thought I was paranoid,

but I should have
trusted my instinct.

No, you should always go
with your gut feeling.

Stacey.
Sometimes
I would pick up the phone,

Stacey?
after it would ring,

Mm-hmm.

and there'd be no one.
Oh.

But they were signaling
each other.
Stacey.

Making love.
Right.

Meeting secretly.

Laughing at me.

I'm sure they weren't
laughing at you.

We were moving in together.

Looking
for an apartment together,

to live together, to marry.

I mean, I loved him.
I'm sure, I'm sure.

And my closest friend
knew that.

She knew how much
I cared about him.

She knew how my whole life
was wrapped up in him.

Well, of course.
Of course.

Should I dim the lights?

Or maybe a little jazz.
Do you like jazz?

I can't bear it.

I can't bear to think about it.

Don't. Don't think about it.

You know,
life is so rotten,

so cruel, and then,
finally, about nothing.

Or-or we can just stretch
out on the carpet

in front of the fireplace
if you want to listen...

I can't stand it.

I'm going
out the window.

What?

I'm going out the window.

Wh...? Stacey, wait.

Are you

Stacey, are you...?

Stacey.

Hold on.
Leave me alone.

I want to end it all.
No, no, no, no.

Stop it. Stop it, stop it.

Please.

Let's talk about what...

Ow!

Jeez.

No. God.

Please, let me go.

Let me go!

HOBIE:
Kiss me.

I love you!

Oh, my, kiss... kiss me.

Oh, please. I...

Ooh.

Oh, my gosh.

What a dream.

Melinda, what...

what are you doing here?

Oh, my God.

I was listening
at your door.

F

I was jealous.

Jeal... jealous?

Jealous of what?
What...?

Well, you went home
with Stacey,

and all night long
I've been upset.

So, I guess I realized
how much I care for you.

Really?

Is she here?

I heard lovemaking talk.

No. That-that
was a-a dream.

You were dreaming
about her?

I was dreaming
of you, actually.

Me?

Why were you dreaming about me?

I dreamt I was
making love to you.

:
Really?

Melinda,

I'm in love with you.

Me?
Mmm.

You never said anything.

I was married,

and-and when it was
breaking up, you met Bill.

My God, couldn't you tell

I've been in love with
you for a long time?

I couldn't even tell
that I was in love with you.

And-and now you're-
you're spying on me.

What a... what a silly thing.

A grown woman, a mature,
sophisticated woman

outside a door, spying.

By the way,

I found a piece of your bathrobe
in my door.

Oh.

Strange.

I-I should, uh,
tell my laundress.

:
You don't have a laundress.

Well... marry me,

and we'll-we'll get a laundress.

WOMAN:
So, you see, it's all
in the eye of the beholder.

We hear a little story,
a few hearsay details, right?

You, you take them and you
mold them into a tragic tale,

a woman's weakness for romance
is her-is her undoing,

and that's-that's
how you see life.

Whereas, you,
you-you take those...

those details,
you put them

into an amusing
romance. Great.

That's your take on life.

But, obviously, there is
no one definitive essence

that can be pinned down.

Well, moments of
humor do exist.

I exploit them, but,
you know, they exist

within a tragic,
overall framework.

Meanwhile,
is everybody going

to Phil Dorfman's funeral
next week?

Oh...
Oh, no.

Yeah, I think...
I think we have to.

Poor Phil-- he dropped dead
suddenly of a heart attack,

and he just came from his
cardiogram, which was perfect.

Oh.
I hate funerals.

Yeah, me, too, because, always
at the wrong time, I laugh.

See, that's my point.

We laugh because it masks

our real terror
about mortality.

I didn't mean to bring up
the subject of funerals.

You know,
you're right.

Well, how can it be
a romantic, funny world,

if you can't trust
your own cardiogram?

I want to be cremated.

Now... or after
your death?

Come on.
Let's change the subject.

We came out to have a fun
and relaxing evening. Jesus.

Let's drink to good times.

Salut'.
Comic or tragic,

the most important thing to do
is to enjoy life while you can.

That's right.
Because we only go round once,

and when it's over, it's over.

And, perfect cardiogram or not,

when you least expect it,
it could end like that.