All language subtitles for Inspector Morse - 06x05 - Cherubim and Seraphim.Unspecified.English.orig.Addic7ed.com

? Dance music

(Horn beeps)

Charlie, where are you going?

- Where's he going?
- l dunno. Where's he going, John?

(Music continues)

Come on, Marilyn.

ls she all right?

- She's fine, aren't you, darIing?
- That was the most wonderful...

Wait till Friday.

lt can't be as good as tonight.

lt could never be as good as tonight.

- Had a good time, then?
VlCKY: I'm thirsty.

Tonight was it for me. Tonight was it.

You're still travelling.

l saw the world as it really is.

(Softly) l know now. l know everything.

Can we go to a caff?
l'm desperate for a cup of tea.

Come on, Tim. Let's go.

Good morning. How are we?

- Thank you. Good morning, Joanna.
- Morning, Dr Collier.

WOMAN: AII right, Mum. NearIy there.

Hello, Gwen.

Morning.

How are you?

Mum.

Mum...

Mum, pIease. You said you wanted to come.

- Not if he's there!
NURSE: Excuse me.

You're a naughty girl, going off without your pills.

- l'm not going anywhere.
- Now, now.

They're not doing much for her temper,
Mrs Garrett.

Well, she was turning into a...

She's much more herseIf again now.

She certainly is.

Mum!

I'II have to teII Dr CoIIier about you.

Where's Marilyn? l want Marilyn.

She's staying over at Vicky's.
You know, her friend - Vicky.

Why doesn't he go and stay with Vicky?

I don't want him.

I want her!

The reference to one lamp
includes any combination of lamps.

Any combination of two or more.

Any combination of two or more lamps,
whether the same or not...

ldentical.

Whether identicaI or not.

Having the same function
and emitting light of the same colour...

lf it comprises...

lf it comprises devices,

the projection of the average
light-emitting source...

Aggregate light-emitting.

Dad, l don't think you're ever
going to remember all this.

Of course l am. lf your sister
would just turn her music down a bit...

Lyn, turn it down!

Lyn!

JOYCE: She is better, you know.

She remembers things again.

MORSE: l think l preferred it when she didn't.

JOYCE: Still, that's a nice place.
MORSE: Very.

And now she's in there,
I can come and see you more often.

You didn't have to chip in.
We'd have found the money somehow.

- Hi. Are those for me?
- Wayne!

lt's no use giving you books till you learn to read.

Maybe when you grow up,
you can drive one of those.

- Ace!
KElTH: How's Gwen?

Back to her old form. One look at me and...

Oh, God. You'd better have a beer.

l wish they'd never started her
on these trial things.

People that age should be left alone, l think.

Marilyn back yet?

- l haven't seen her.
- l bought her the new Life Of Wilfred Owen.

lt's someone she's doing for A-levels.

She'll be back for dinner.
She knows you're coming.

(Wayne mimics police siren)

? Dance music

? Don't be scared

- Are you off home now, Marilyn?
- Yes, Mrs Wilson.

l've homework to finish.

You girls. lt's all work with you these days.

When I was your age, I used to have some fun.

(Makes engine noises)

l'm sorry. l really am.

lt's not like Marilyn to be so rude.

Never mind, Joyce.
Don't forget to give her that book, will you?

Come on, Wayne.

Move your bike, or l'll run over it.

- See you.
- Bye.

♪ VON GLUCK: Che Farò Senza Euridice♪

(Phone rings)

Morse.

Hello, Joyce. This is a bit...

No.

Joyce...no.

Ah, Desmond.

Hi.

Have the rats tried that yet?

Come and see.

Good God!

Aggression down to zero.

The more you put in,
the more they cuddle up.

WeII, weII. You'II get the NobeI prize.

For peace, if not for chemistry.

But you're no use to me tonight.

l'm dining at All Souls.
l'll need all the aggression l can muster.

You certainly will if Matthew Hallett's there.

Science should be a collaborative process,
Desmond, not a competition.

ln theory, perhaps.

But anti-ageing research is a rat race.

Come on, James.

Hallett's a jealous sod!

And he hates my guts.

And as Oxford Pharmaceutical Products
hang on his every word,

l'd really rather he knew as little about this
as possible until the presentation on Tuesday.

AII right?

Come on, l was up till dawn this morning,
keeping ahead of the field.

- About that...
- l'll lock up.

- Promise.
- But this is the third time, Desmond.

l mean,
we're bloody lucky no addict tried the door.

What time did you reaIIy Ieave here?

About midnight.

And l've said l'm sorry to everyone 999 times.

And l'm sorry to you.

Why don't you go and get drunk at All Souls?

l'll struggle on
with my desperately dangerous drugs.

Well, the Chambertin is pretty remarkable.

Then get it while it's hot.

All right.

- Good night.
- Good night.

(Knock at door)

Come in.

Sir.

Ah, yes, Lewis.

Sit down.

How are you getting on with your homework?

All right, sir.

OSPRE.

Yes, sir.

The Objective Structured
Performance-ReIated Examination

for promotion from sergeant to inspector.

- l doubt if l could pass.
- No, sir.

You'd better get the traffic regs off by heart,
Lewis.

l've known many a good man
come unstuck on those.

- Yes, sir.
(Knock at door)

Good.

Now, the reason I wanted to see you.

You've been with Morse a long time now, and...

The best of officers, and l do mean the best,

they have their own ways,
and it's very easy to fall into...

well, to see things from only one perspective.

Now, you know and l know
that Chief lnspector Holroyd

- is rather different from Morse.
- Yes, sir.

Before he retires, I've asked him to take
a speciaI interest in career deveIopment,

which means you.

You Iisten to him, Lewis.

He works by the book, but it's the book
that will get you through Part One of that,

and on down to Devizes for Part Two.

We aII want you to do weII.

Thank you, sir.

What about Chief lnspector Morse, sir?
Who's going to look after him?

He'll be looking after himself
for the next few days. He's on leave.

Some friends of his,

their daughter took an overdose.

Suicide.

He's trying to heIp the famiIy
come to terms with it.

Sugar?

JOYCE: I can't understand why.

lf only l understood why.

Even if it was my fault.

Teenagers get these depressions.

Things at that age, they...

they get them all out of proportion.

She wasn't depressed.

l'd have known. l'd have noticed.

She was always so bright.

That's what l can't understand.

We got on so well together.

She told me everything.

l didn't criticise.

We never said...

We're not like some,
going on and on at their kids.

We didn't push her.

We made a point of not...

never.

You were always very loving parents.
l know that.

Then why?

How am l going to tell Mum?

l don't know how l'm going to tell Mum.

? Dance music

? Don't be scared

You've got the makings of inspector, Lewis.
l don't deny that.

- Thank you, sir.
- But l have the impression your routine's rusty.

Proper procedure
is what police work is all about.

Yes, sir. We're here, sir.

So you handle this your way, and l'll just watch.

lf Morse has set your feet on the wrong path, you
don't mind a few hints from an old hand, do you?

Well, off you go, lad.

l'll belt him when l see him, you see if l don't!

l'll give him a thrashing he'll never forget!
l'm supposed to be bloody working!

- Charley!
- Staying out all day and night and not telling us.

Not teIIing his mother!

He's with some tart, you can bet on that.
Dirty little bugger!

Constable Williams says
your son told you Saturday evening

that he was just going out for a drink
with some mates.

Just because he's started up at Cowley,
he thinks he can do as he bloody well likes!

Charley! Calm down.

He went out at about nine o'cIock,

so he's been missing now for...
almost 40 hours, right?

- And he hasn't got his piIIs with him.
ANNlE: That'sjust it.

He's epileptic, you see. He could have
fallen down and had a fit anywhere.

Phenytoin, they're called.

He needs to take two phenytoin every day.
He knows that.

He's never gone off without them before?

No, never. Jacko's a good boy, always has been.

He's a pain in the bloody arse!

He couldn't have taken a few pills with him?

Well, he could have, but...
Well, he's never done it before.

Right.

l expect the constable explained to you

that most missing youngsters turn up
in the first 24 hours. But as Jacko hasn't,

and as you think he hasn't got his pills...

Do you have a photo of Jacko?

That's him this summer.

He's got one of those new high tops now.

Bloody hooligan!

You live above here, right?

Like to show me Jacko's room, Mrs Lever?
Mr Lever can show my colleague the workshop.

COLLlER: I'm so sorry.

Your mother's made such progress as well.

Before, she would hardly have known
who you were talking about, would she?

Would you like me to go with you,
or perhaps Matron?

No.

We'll manage, Keith and l.

l am sorry.

You can't win, can you?

Cure their senility, give them back heartache.

She'd have got into Oxford, no trouble at all.

We'd even got to the point
of discussing which college.

Tell me...

Sylvia Plath.

Extraordinary writer.

''Dying is an art like everything else.
l do it exceptionally well.''

l utterly reject your implication. Utterly.

What implication?

Sylvia Plath committed suicide.

And teenagers are so sensitive,
it's not safe to let them read her poems.

Better ban Shakespeare too, hadn't we?
All that murder and adultery.

And Milton. We all know
Satan has the best arguments.

As for Restoration drama...

lf you policemen had your way,
no-one would read or write at all.

l'm not here as a policeman.

Yes, l know.

l'm sorry.

lt's just that one hears that point of view
so often these days, and it's so crass.

She and l used to discuss the books you set her.

Wilfred Owen last term.

We both like Wilfred Owen.

Oh, that was the...
That was the spring term, actually.

Was it?

Well, l don't get over as often as l...

Browning. Now, when did you do Browning?
She couldn't be doing with him.

Whereas l...

Well, l suppose
because he comes into crosswords.

Marilyn took a very balanced view of Plath,
as a matter of fact.

She was able to discuss the poems
quite separately from the life of the poet.

l can't believe...

l really can't believe there was any connection.

(Bell rings)

- What wiII her friends say when they hear?
- I don't know.

Personally, l don't think
l could find the words to...

The Head's going to make an announcement
at the end of classes.

Right, come on, then.

You mustn't mind my husband, Sergeant.
lt's only because he's so upset.

(Whine of static)

He Iikes his music.

Don't they all?

And their shoes.

You should see my daughter's.

- You've got kids, then?
- A boy and a girl.

We've just the one.

And he never stays out without telling you?

Only the once. He and his mates
had been to some disco in Slough.

They often go there on Saturdays.
He'd missed the last bus,

but even then he rang to say.

Girlfriends? Your husband seemed to...

No-one special. He's serious, a serious boy.

- CharIey taIks Iike that because...
- There's no trouble?

They get on very well, really.
Charley just gets so worried about things.

There's no way onto the roof, is there?

A lot of missing kids are just hiding
somewhere in the house.

He's not here.

The constabIe Iooked.

l think you should search the Ruffets.

He sometimes walks there when he's in a mood.

He could have had a fit...well, anything.

We'll have a look tomorrow morning.

But I expect he'II have turned up by then.

(Phone rings)

ANSWERPHONE:
Hi. If it's good news, Ieave a message.

If it's bad, forget it.

? Don't be scared

We're getting there.

l like that one.

l like that one a lot.

- Have you sorted a bigger rig for Friday?
- Yep. l spoke to Rob.

lt just wasn't loud enough.

Relax. lt'll all be sorted for Friday.

This is wicked, guys.

STUDENTS: Cheers, Charlie.
- You've done a good job.

Can you guys do without Sally for tonight?
We've got some business.

We'll go up the Angel House.

See you all tomorrow, then.

- Listen, guys, l really appreciate this. Cheers.
- (Murmurs of approval)

- See you later.
- Bye.

What? What business?

Your place or mine?

Come off it!

? VON GLUCK: Che Farò Senza Euridice

? Euridice

? Ah! Non m'avanza più soccorso

? Più speranza

? Né dal mondo

? Né dal ciel

? Dance music

lt's only Dad.

Where's Mam?

Down the wine shop, transIating.

It's Cyprus sherry week.

So who got your tea? Lyn?

Gran.

Marvellous.

Lyn!

Turn that down, for God's sake!

l was always taught to ask for things, not yell.

She can't hear unless l shout, can she?

lt's worse than Morse's bloody opera!

Language.

Lyn!

You're turning this place into a disco!

Gran, it's Wogan!

See what happens
when you don't set an example.

You shouldn't be watching that rubbish, mate.
You should be doing your homework.

Done it.

Well, l haven't done mine, so can we please
have a bit of peace and quiet? Lyn!

- What?
- What's your homework?

Personal and social development,
and l've done it.

(Bell rings)

OK, quiet, everybody! Quiet!

So, you aII know about these.

But the Head doesn't know
you're at it night and day like l do.

He thinks you need a refresher,
and l don't have to tell you why, do l?

ALL: Aids.
- But the message, it seems, isn't getting through

to the people most at risk,

which means you,
with your insatiable young lusts...

..which we adults never experienced, of course.

Where do we come from, then?

AII right, Simon...

What's this?

TEACHER: Who are you?

l was er...looking for Vicky Wilson.

Terrible thing.

Thanks.

Terrible for the family and...

..her friends, of course.

You must be...

We can't understand it, Vicky.

None of us can.

Can you?

Did she give any sign?

Never.

You were her great friend.

l was hoping you might be able...

l don't know what goes on these days, you see.

l don't have any children of my own, and...

..that class of yours -

sex education...

lt's called personal and social development.

Is it?

- You don't think we should learn about sex?
- No, I...

l think it's a good thing.

There wasn't anything like that in my day...

..at my school.

Grammar school.

It was aII boys.

- Some things have changed for the better.
- Oh, yes. Yes, a Iot.

But er...

being 1 5, 1 6, 1 7...

..I imagine it's stiII pretty difficuIt.

Marilyn never did anything she didn't want.

Her mother and father...

..they think that she didn't have
a special boyfriend, but did she?

Someone here, perhaps?

Have you seen the boys at this school?

And what about you?

No, thanks.

Do people respect you for that, Vicky?

Some do and some don't.

l think it's just common sense.

Was she ever depressed?

No.

Well, aren't we all sometimes?

Had she been recently?

Not especially.

You're not being very helpful, Vicky.

Is it because I'm oId?

Do you think I'm too oId to understand?

Understand what?

You were almost the last person to talk to her.

She must have said something,

given some indication.

She didn't! She didn't say anything!

All right.

l'm sorry.

I don't want to say anything, Lewis, not yet.

But there are reasons why you compIete
the interviews before you do the search.

l think the Levers have a hunch.

Everyone who comes into a police station
has a bloody hunch.

That's why you have procedures.

Nine times out of ten the interviews
save you wasting time and money.

l realise that to Morse and his like,
these are not considerations which apply.

- But if you want to get on...
POLlCEMAN: Jacko's here!

Down here, sarge.

l can thread a needle!

Look!

l might even take up needlework again.

l used to be very good with cushions.

l could even do tapestry!

A couple of months ago,
that old lady could barely feed herself.

(Murmurs of surprise)

Very impressive.

Thank you, Dr Hallett.

l'm afraid l always seem to be cast
as the wet blanket on these occasions.

And it does occur to me
that these neutropic drugs...

Serenics, is it?

Seraphics.

And l have trademarked the name.

Very well, Seraphics. They are new.

They could hardly be otherwise.
l've only just invented them.

My point is, Dr Collier is testing these drugs

entirely in accordance
with the proper guidelines, of course.

I wouIdn't dream of suggesting anything eIse.

- But he is testing them on oId people.
- They are designed for oId peopIe.

We have to be very carefuI
about committing ourseIves to a drug

whose long-term effects are, by definition,
impossible to discover.

EthicaIIy, that is.

And, as businessmen,

I don't think I have to remind anyone here
of a certain anti-infIammatory drug, or of the size

- of compensation payments that had to be paid.
- There's no similarity whatever.

- You know that as weII as I do.
- ln my view,

no responsible pharmaceutical company
can commit itself to...Seraphics

till much greater research has been completed.

The train driver never saw him.

He jumped in front at the last moment.

Could have had an attack, fallen down.

Oh, come on, Lewis!

What the hell was he doing in there?
You saw the body.

Was there any note?

Always better when there's a note.
Makes it easier for the coroner.

lt could have blown away somewhere.

(Train speeds past)

Yes, well.

You liked the mother so much, you can go
and tell her her hunch was right. Come on.

We never give information
about individual callers.

People wouldn't trust us.

No, l suppose...

Sit.

lt's just that er...

..she gave no sign of anything at home, you see.

You do have to recognise the signs
for what they are, of course.

lsn't it - for most people, anyway -

isn't it more a gesture?

Well, it depends.

- Tea?
- Please.

lf you take a few aspirin and leave
farewell messages with all your friends,

you may not have a very serious intention
to do away with yourself.

But no note, and 100 piIIs...

l suppose...

..if it had just been a gesture,
she'd have wanted to be there to see its success.

Otherwise...

(Phone rings)
- ..it wouldn't make sense.

Samaritans.

Can l help you?

Suicide very rarely does, Mr Morse.

That's why we're here.

Would you like to talk it through with someone?

You said ''rarely''.

So it can make sense?

Was she religious at all?

No.

Belief in an afterlife does stop some people.

lt stopped me, when l was very low.

Oh, yes, some of us have been there, Mr Morse.

In my case, I thought I might be punished
if I arrived wherever it was before I was invited.

If I'd thought Iife on Earth was aII there was...

Well, it can be hell on Earth sometimes, can't it?

Why should she think that?

She had a wonderful life,

a marvellous future...

No-one ever knows what goes on
inside someone eIse's head.

Someone once told me

the average teenager in any 24-hour period

shows symptoms
of every known psychiatric iIIness.

Are there many cases like this, then,

absolutely without explanation?

Have you seen this?

Very similar.

A girl, Leighton Buzzard.

Again, no note.

There aIways is an expIanation...

in the end.

(Answerphone plays back)

Hi. Desmond. Just caIIed for a postmortem.
Whenever you're ready. See you.

CharIie, it's Vicky.

Listen, can you caII me, pIease?

Something reaIIy awfuI's happened.
It's terribIy important.

As soon as possibIe, pIease.

The number's 0344 300575.

PIease.

Oh, er...not after 1 1 because of my mum.

? ALLEGRl: Miserere

You went to Leighton Buzzard?
lt's outside our area.

lt's a very similar case.
Teenage suicide, just like our two.

No note, no reason.

You don't think it could be one of these crazes,
do you? Like those turtle things.

Well, you'd just better keep on asking around.

Strictly speaking, your personal interest
should preclude you from any involvement.

- You do reaIise that?
- l'll pretend l'm still on leave, if you like.

No, as long as it's not an actual relation.

Kids.

They're as bad as Special Branch.

You never know what the blighters are up to.

We were all young once.

l can't imagine you young, Morse.

l can imagine you.

Anyway, it's all changed.

And kids nowadays...

You just don't know.

My son -

he's got a face like an angel.

Takes after his mother.

You know what he was doing
whiIe we thought he was out pIaying footbaII?

Holding up cars at traffic lights
and demanding money with menaces

for cIeaning the windscreens.

lnnocent enough.

You call that innocent, lying to us like that?

No, you don't know, Morse.

Kids are creatures from another pIanet.

lf l need an interpreter, Lewis has kids.

Oh, Lewis is still with Holroyd.

l had to find something for Holroyd to do.
l didn't expect you back for days.

Well, l'm back now.

Hi, Mum.

- Hello, love. You all right?
- Yeah, l'm just a bit tired, that's all.

I'm going to go upstairs and Iie down.

- Tea?
- Later, thanks.

VlCKY: CharIie?

Vicky? Sorry, darling,
l didn't realise you were on the phone.

Mum, wiII you stop Iistening in on my caIIs?

In my opinion, Morse, Lewis hasn't been given
a proper grounding in the basics.

lf you're going to retire, Holroyd,

just get on and do it.

He won't make inspector
if he doesn't follow correct procedures.

Well, if you'll proceed out of my office,

either properly or improperly, l really don't mind.

Take this Lever case.

Lewis thinks he was very clever
listening to the parents.

But he spent so much time cosying up to them,
he missed what was staring him in the face.

The father's a sadist.

He wears a bloody great leather strap
round his waist.

The wife's scared stiff of him.

Abuse.

That's what this case is aII about-
physicaI, and probabIy sexuaI, abuse.

(Door opens)

Ah, Lewis.
Chief lnspector Holroyd was just abusing you.

l thought l felt something.

Yes, well, l've said my piece.

So, do you remember what l said, Lewis?

Anything particular, sir?
You said so much.

He couldn't solve the problems in the Rainbow.

The what?

The children's paper parents approved of, Lewis.

l wasn't allowed the Beano or Dandy.

They weren't morally improving.

l'm sorry to hear about
your friend's daughter, sir.

Yes, well...

Now, what about this Lever boy?

Holroyd says that he thinks
there may have been abuse.

Rubbish!

That's what l like to hear.

Reasoned argument, logically developed.

Lever blusters a bit.

Mrs Lever...

the Chief lnspector thought
she was frightened of him.

Really she's frightened for him. He's so upset.
You should see him now.

He can't stop crying.

Might that not be remorse,

if he was abusing the boy?

He wasn't. l'm sure of it.

Right, then.

Now, look at this.

The pins mark the place
where unexplained teenage suicides took place

in the last couple of days.

What do they tell us, Lewis?

Nothing.

Right, so tell me about Jacko Lever.

Bright, popular...

Just started his apprenticeship at Cowley.

Doing weII. He had epiIepsy,
but that didn't seem to be a probIem.

The pathologist says he's got something
he wants to show us, though.

l can't see a connection.

Different towns, different schools...

..different social classes.

The only common factor is the distress
and bewilderment of the families.

Plenty of that.

And their age.

There's something about a teenage death.

All that potential about to be realised, and then...

l think any kid...if it's yours.

HAYWARD: He died of muItipIe trauma.

Of course, you do
if you walk into a goods train.

You said you had something to show us.

You don't Iike those?

Perhaps this is more your bag.

lt was in what remained of his stomach.

lt's hardly started to be digested, as you can see.

lt means it must have been taken
shortly before he died.

- His phenytoin?
- No.

Some sort of poison?

- All drugs are poisons, but this one isn't fatal.
- Well, what is it?

l don't know. Well, the chromatography
identifies the chemical constituents in it,

but l don't know what it's called.

l've never seen that particular combination
before.

But l'm pretty sure it's what the trade
describes as a mood enhancer.

ls it Ecstasy?

E, we call it, Lewis.

lt has a few components in common with E,

but whether it has the same effect...

Do you want to try it, Morse? Mice are all very
well, but we need to know the effect on humans.

Oh, go on!

Oxford is where Lewis Carroll
made Alice eat the mushroom.

Lewis?

No, thanks, sir. Not in front of the Chief lnspector.

ls he a snob about drugs,

ruthlessly destroying a million brain cells
with every glass of beer,

then violently denouncing the young
for the use of chemical stimulants?

Are you suggesting this boy...

Did an Aldous Huxley?

- Yes.
- HuxIey?

ls that Brave New World?

l think Dr Hayward is thinking
more of The Doors Of Perception, Lewis.

Heaven And Hell, actually.

When HuxIey was dying of cancer,

he got his wife to inject him with LSD.

He had this notion, you see, that he would enter
the next life in a state of euphoric bliss.

l can see the point of that.

But suppose he had a bad trip?

Suppose there is a next life,
and he ended up in hell instead of heaven?

Or suppose there isn't, and he died in this one

in a torment of haIIucination?

Would er...this stuff be difficult to make?

An A-level student could make it.

lf he could find the materials.

That's where you should be looking, Morse.

People are experimenting everywhere
these days.

l've passed the formula on to the university.
We don't have the guinea pigs here.

You wouldn't try that out on students?

No, no.

Guinea pigs. Real ones.

He didn't have anything wrong with him, did he?

I mean, apart from the epiIepsy.

- He didn't have...
- It's difficuIt to teII.

But from the pieces l've seen, l'd say he was
one of the healthiest young men l've had in here.

Stupid little fool.

All the world before him.

What the hell did he want to go and die for?

(Knock at door)

JANEY: Vicky?

Can I come in a moment?

(Tries door handle)

You shouIdn't Iock this door.

There's only you and me.

Vicky!

The longer you keep it back,

the worse it will be.

Bottling things up
never did anybody any good, love.

l've learned that.

l don't really know what l think yet, Mum.

lt's too soon.

Yes, of course. lt's dreadful.

l hardly know what l think myself.

l tried to ring Marilyn's mum

to say...you know.

- They'd Ieft the phone off the hook.
- You don't like Marilyn's mum.

Well, at a time like this...

Is there nothing you want to teII me, Vicky?

No. Why?

Police will want to see you.

Ask you questions.

- Are you sure there's nothing you know...
- Chad Valley?

That's what we caII them, Mum.

Thames VaIIey PoIice.

- l've seen them already.
- You never said.

Didn't l?

l've got time for a bath before supper, haven't l?

Don't be too long in there.

(Music starts)

Supper's in 20 minutes.

Vicky? Five minutes.

(Music blares)

Vicky?

(Music blares)

Vicky?

Vicky?

Vicky?

Vicky, what are you doing in there?

Vicky?

Are you all right?

Vicky, will you please open this door?

Vicky?

Vicky?

Marilyn Garrett...she was a strange girl.

Oh, she looked all right.

Spoke well enough. Butter wouldn't melt
in her mouth. But she wasn't...

There was something...
Well, she was very clever, of course.

- That was the trouble.
- What trouble?

Well, she could sway Vicky, bend her to her will.

How, exactly?

- You've met Joyce and Keith Garrett, l expect.
- Yes.

Well, they're decent enough people,
l'm sure, but...

Well, Joyce's father was only ever a taxi driver.

And Keith, he's never done very well for himself.

Your own business
seems to be doing pretty well.

Oh, this? Yes, well.

This is what you do to cheer yourself up when
your husband runs off with another woman.

LEWlS: Hello. That again.

What?

Jacko Lever had one of these...
something like.

So did Marilyn. Marilyn Garrett.

Yes... Well, she wouId have.

Vicky aIways Iiked nice things, tiII MariIyn.

Just what are these things, Lewis?

Fractals, they're called.

New geometry, computer-generated.

To do with chaos.

But, "Why, if a butterfIy fIaps its wings
in the AmazonjungIe,

do you have a hurricane in the Himalayas?''

lt's what they say.

How long has she had this?

Months and months.

But it's not going to be here

when she comes home.

What the hell...?

They're ads.

Flyers.

What for?

Parties.

They go on all night.

Midnight to 8am.

Does Vicky go to aII-night parties?

No, of course not.

She's not allowed out after 1 1 .

UnIess she's going over to...

Where did she say she was going
Iast Saturday night, Mrs WiIson?

MariIyn's?

Marilyn told herparents she was coming here.

That's the dreadful rubbish
they're always playing in here.

But that's...

There's something in here. Stop it, Lewis.

Play that bit again.

That's the Hallelujah Chorus!

Conducted by Sir Adrian Boult!

? Bass-led dance music

CharIie!

Charlie!

CharIie!

CharIie!

Let me in!

Charlie!

Let me in!

Parents.

So often it comes down to parents.

Oh, yeah.

Do you get on all right with yours?

Yeah...mostly.

When you're a kid, you don't realise, do you?

Do they quarrel much?

- No, not reaIIy.
- Mine did.

Got divorced when I was 1 2.

I stayed with my mum, of course.

WeII, you do, don't you?

And she didn't have a fancy man,
whereas my dad...

l'm telling you this for a reason, Lewis,

so there's no need to go spreading it
all over the station.

No.

- No, l...
- Gwen, she's...

She is called Gwen.

And they had one baby,

Joyce.

When l was 1 5, my mother died,
so l went to live with them.

Nowhere else to go.

My dad and l, we...
we got on all right.

But Gwen...

..didn't like me then, doesn't like me now.

Don't ask me why.

She didn't do anything special against me.

lt's just the steady accumulation,

the drip, drip, drip of humiliations...

..hatreds.

When you're that age...

So l suddenly thought,

- ''Sod this. l'm getting out of this. lt's not worth it.''
- What, you ran away?

l decided to kill myself.

I thought of aII the ways of doing it.

Then l put them in order.
One, two, three, all the way down to about 1 5...

Which would hurt me most,
which would hurt Dad, which would hurt Gwen.

l even thought of
which would hurt little Joycey least.

l liked Joyce.

Then l thought,

''That's pretty bloody clever,
what you've just done.''

Because l'm vain.

l was vain even then.

And then I thought,

''Well, if you're clever enough
to have done all that,

well, it's...waste of a good mind.''

l can just imagine you saying that.

No-one can imagine someone else's pain,
Robbie.

lt's the human tragedy.

But I made a vow.

l wouldn't forget...
l would never forget

how awful it is to be 1 5.

l've forgotten, of course. Everyone does.

But l've been trying to remember...

..for Marilyn Garrett.

She was...

She was...?

l never knew you had a niece.

l don't go trumpeting my kith and kin around
like some l could mention, Lewis.

l just thought you ought to know
before you meet them.

MORSE: We're very concerned
about Vicky's disappearance.

Was there anything odd about their reIationship?

- No.
- They were best friends, that's all.

Perhaps l don't know what that means.

Girls...these days...

Girls always go about in pairs.

lt's to stop each other doing something stupid.

Don't you remember me and my friend Di?

Boys are just the same at that age.

Best friends. Nothing...you know.

l had a best friend.

Stuart, his name was.

Went in the Air Force.

Joyce, l'm sorry, but...

..last Saturday night,

Marilyn and Vicky weren't here

and they weren't at the Wilsons'.

Where couId they have been?

LEWlS: Do they go to discos?

Well...yes, sometimes.

But it cIoses at 1 2 o'cIock.

And they didn't like it there.
There were drunks and rough types.

Anywhere eIse?

l don't know.

l just don't know.

(Sobs)

One of these kids, a young lad,

had been taking drugs.

- You don't think...
- No! Not Marilyn, never.

Of course not, Lewis.

Anything like that would have shown up
on the postmortem.

- She wasn't that sort of girI at aII!
KElTH: Never.

And we always kept our eyes open.
Well, you have to these days, don't you?

There was never anything Iike that with MariIyn.

Nor with Vicky, that l know of. Never.

But...

What could they have been doing?

Where could they have gone?

WAYNE: Mum?

MORSE: FractaI.

Is it some sort of anagram?

LA craft?

Rat calf?

lt doesn't sound like a real word.

LEWlS: Well...computerspeak.

lf they're made by computer,
how can they be chaotic?

Computers are based on logic.

l think...

l don't know.

Nor do l.

On this case, Lewis - if it is a case -
l feel l don't know anything at all.

What do we know?

They went to a party last Saturday night..
perhaps.

lf only we knew where.

ls there one of those for Slough?

Marilyn wouldn't go to Slough.

Jacko Lever went there.

Can't have been very ''wicked''.

He told his mum.

Well, here's one.

Angel House.

Maybe it only operates weekends.

Chaos is come again, then.

lt was invented by a weather forecaster,
you know.

- What was?
- This chaos theory.

lt can't be right.

He couldn't understand
why careful forecasts turned out wrong.

Nor can anyone eIse.

He started feeding in little details
that scientists wouldn't bother with.

He found that if you change
one tiny element in an equation,

it can have a huge effect.

What do you think is the apparently
insignificant detail we're missing, Lewis?

(Alarm wails)

- Can l help you?
- Yes.

We're looking for a young girl - Vicky Wilson.

l believe she comes down here sometimes.
Police.

Are you the manager?

Sort of.

Vicky... What's the problem?

She's run away from home...l hope.

Oh, dear. Well, she's not here, l'm afraid.

Do you want to come in?

- She usually comes with a girl called Marilyn.
- That's right.

- Were they here Saturday?
- I think so.

Yes. EarIy part of the evening.

lt gets a bit rough late on, l believe.

- Who told you that?
LEWlS: MariIyn's mother.

Has she ever been down here?

What time did Vicky and MariIyn

leave on Saturday night?

- The same time as everybody eIse.
- Midnight? You close at midnight?

No, l closed early. After they went.

We never do any business when there's a party.

What sort of party? Birthday?

They probably said so.

What do you mean?

Oh, dear. Youth culture's a bit of a mystery
to you, is it, officer?

You could say so.

Young peopIe,

when they say "parties",

what they mean...is drugs.

l don't allow drugs down here.

l'd lose my entertainments licence.

Of course, I can't stop it aItogether.

But this isn't London where anything goes.
You peopIe aIways poke your noses in.

So...

lf anybody doesn't like it,

they can shove off.

These two girls aren't the sort to take drugs.

l won't argue. Most of the time, you people are
trying to plant drugs on people, not take them off.

You are aware,

sir, that Marilyn Garrett and Vicky Wilson
are under 1 8?

LEWlS:
Where did they shove off to Iast Saturday night?

l'm sure your local colleagues could tell you that.

Why don't you?

Where was this party? ln someone's house?

(Bristowe chuckles)

Somebody's warehouse, l expect.

Ask the Drugs Squad.

What you do is you rent a space somewhere,
say it's a private party,

and really there's nothing much people like you
can do...without getting very heavy.

l'm sure that's the last thing
you'd want to be with kids.

After all,

some of them may even be your own.

They're quite nice drugs.

lt's not heroin or crack.

- Nothing eviI.
- All drugs are evil.

Please, lnspector.

LEWlS: How do you know aII this?

- Were you there?
- Oh, I'm much too oId for parties.

l may be getting married soon, for God's sake.

But the drugs that kids like nowadays,
they're not addictive.

That's what people like you always say.

What do you know about people like me?

l know a young lad may have died
because of these ''nice'' drugs.

- Who?
- Jacko Lever.

And possibly a young girl, too.

Dead?

How? What happened?

LEWlS: They kiIIed themseIves.
- The things they took don't do that.

What things?

l don't know anything about it.

l wasn't there.

You ask the Drugs Squad.

- What sort of hours do these people keep?
- The same hours as the druggies, sir.

- l can't hang around all night.
- Hi, Bill, got a spare cell?

- l think we can manage that, Sergeant.
- Mike, do the charge sheet.

Could l have a word, Sergeant?

He was carrying this - cannabis,

some of these - amphetamines,

and a few of these - Ecstasy.

Ah, yes, E.

- You know about that?
- A certain amount.

About £1 ,000-worth at street prices.
So he's a dealer, all right, but a small dealer.

Half the people who go to these parties
are small dealers, selling to each other.

- This party on Saturday. Did you know about it?
- Good Lord, yes.

And you did nothing about it?

We had a look. lt seemed genuine enough.
No money being taken on the door.

lf it's a genuine private party,
there's really very little we can do,

unless we recognise a dealer or see drugs
actually being abused, which we didn't.

What do you mean, exactly, ''abused''?

WeII, we didn't see anyone

actually imbibing any illegal substance.

The drugs were all inside the people
before we got there.

Besides which, there were 300 of them
and three of us.

- Not all kids indulge, do they?
- Most of them.

Look, I have a heII of a Iot to do
before I go to bed.

Where was it? lf we knew where it was,

- who organised it...
- Pilston, the old brickworks.

Your best bet
is to speak to the estate agent in the morning.

VlCKY: Do you think I shouId caII my mum?

CHARLlE: Yeah.
- I'm not going to.

- Oh.
- I'm not going to go home.

Oh?

My mum's an aromatherapist.

I mean, honestIy.

You don't have to go home, do you?

Just caII her.

I mean, she'II be worried sick about you.

EspeciaIIy if your mate's gone and...

You know what l mean.

She'll think you've gone and done the same.

VlCKY: Why do you think she did it?

l don't know.

lt couldn't have been the Seraphim?

No. lt's not a downer, is it?

No.

Well, then.

Was she seeing somebody?

No.

How do you know?

Did she know about me?

- No.
- Well, then.

Best friends are the people
you keep the best things from.

You know, l really loved her.

So much.

l just can't understand that she was so...

Look.

She was an intelligent person.

And if she did what she did...

At the end of the day,

we all own our own bodies.

We can do what the hell we like with them.

You've got to accept that.

All right?

Phone your mum.

What shall l say?

Er...well, sorry to upset her.

You're fine, you'll be in touch.

All that sort of stuff.
Oh, yeah, and not to call the police.

Youjust want to be yourseIf for a bit.

Are you sure they can't trace the call?

Of course not! Go on.

Hi, Mum, it's me.

(Sound of movement)

Do you always leave the front door open?

Always.

Just in case by any chance
something exciting escapes the lab

and is found on unlicensed premises.

No alibi like pleading guilty to another offence...
Mike, isn't it?

So what can l do for you at 3am?

l've had the police round.

Not for the first time, l imagine.

Hang on to that.

Don't worry, it won't bite. Promise.

There's a girl that went missing
after Saturday night.

Girls have always gone missing.

They also think a kid may have killed himself.

- Why?
- l don't know.

They think there may be two kids.

Suicide pact?

They wanted to know about the drugs.

What did you tell them?

Nothing.

Great.

Put that back, if you like.

There wasn't anything funny
about last Saturday's mix, was there?

- Did you think there was?
- No.

- But two kids...
- Look, the whoIe point of my drug

is that it makes you happy
without getting carried away.

Yeah.

Yeah, it's great, but...

There is no but.

This is a totally butless drug.

lf the police weren't so stupid,
l could explain it to them.

What a drag.
This next party's the last of the year.

They're going to try to stop it, aren't they?

They don't know about it, l don't think.

There you are, then. What are you worried
about? Let's make it a good one.

What's the matter? Don't you believe me?

l think l'll wait till the party, thanks.

Suit yourseIf.

Any number of light-emitting surfaces, which:

a, are juxtaposed,

b, if on the same transverse plane occupy
not less than 60% of the area of the smallest...

..the smallest rectangle...

(Door slams)

CharIie! Oi, CharIie, come on!

Desmond's been trying to get hoId of you.

He's coming over now, Charlie.
Come on, get up. Charlie?

What?

Make him a cup of coffee.

MORSE: Starter homes. God Almighty!

LEWlS: First step on the ladder.

To where? What sort of life
do we offer our young people, Lewis?

School. lf you're lucky, college.

Then marriage, a starter home, then children,

a two-bedroomed semi.

lf you do well,
you've just about got to four bedrooms

when your kids leave
to buy starter homes of their own!

LEWlS: You don't want to pay rent.
Money down the drain.

MORSE: This British home-owning democracy
we're all so proud of,

it's really a form of slavery.

LEWlS: An Englishman's home's his castle,
you know.

MORSE: Man was born free,
but everywhere he's in the property chain.

Clients clamouring at the door.

How can l help you, gentlemen?

RentaIs.

- lndustrial rentals.
- Right...well, you've come to the right man.

So l believe.

There's nothing like getting in early.

That's when you get the work done.

That, and last thing at night.

l believe that's your speciality.

Do you understand what l'm saying to you,
Charlie? The man came to my workplace.

He came to my lab, for God's sake!

Right, then.

Let's leave them to it.

- l'd better leave a note.
- What for?

He won't know where l've gone.

Vicky, he's in the studio today. He's not even
going to remember you were here. Come on.

(Collier and Charlie argue)

- We're not going to jail.
- Because you'll keep your bloody mouth shut.

ln the current state of the market, the developers
are grateful for any cash crop to come their way.

And you let this factory out to whom?

lt wasn't exactly a let, more an informal...

- What was his name?
- Winston Churchill.

He paid cash in advance.
They're very fIy-by-night, these peopIe.

What takes off as Virgin
often lands as Air France.

Though rarely, of course, the other way round.

lt sounds as if you know them quite well.

Er, used to.

But you can't go on living for fun for ever.

- I reaIIy don't have anything to do...
- Getting married, sir?

- How the hell did you know that?
- And what is he Iike,

this Mr Churchill? White? Black?

White. They're all white, the organisers.

What age?

- Late 20s.
- How did he know about you?

l met him at a party.

Honest to God,
it was a cocktail party in a tent at Henley

during Iast summer's regatta.

The regimental band were playing on the lawn.

SALLY: Let's get the eIectricity on.

Yes, sir.

The place will be bloody freezing.

But what would a 1 7-year-old boy
want with an anti-ageing drug?

Whenever people's memories start to go, it's
often not enough oxygen getting into the brain.

So Dr Collier has devised...

Seraphics. They dilate the capillaries
to increase the oxygen uptake.

lf a person with normal capillaries took it,
they'd probably get...

- A terrific high?
- I wouId have thought more a...

a feeling of extreme clear-headedness.

ls it like what kids take, then, before exams?

No, it's quite different.

- CouId it do them harm?
- No.

Well, it hasn't been tested on youngsters,
of course.

The young do have a much more volatile
psycho-susceptibility.

Sudden surges of extra oxygen to the brain
might...

Might it depress you,
make you want to take your own life?

The opposite.
Not that this boy gave it time to work.

Couldn't have affected him at all,
the amount he'd got.

lf this drug is so new,
how would he have got to know about it?

lt's like this. Since this pill is going to change
the lives of every old person in the world,

the research labs
are dying to get their hands on my formula.

And since my entire future
depends on their not getting it,

l er...left the lab unlocked on Saturday night.

CIassic Freudian sIip.

But I spent aII of Sunday afternoon
and most of Monday counting the piIIs,

and I'm aImost positive there's none missing.

Almost?

We do endless variants
trying to find the right mix.

lf someone ran in here,
grabbed a handful and ran out again...

What can l tell you? lt won't happen again.

l promise.

I didn't Iike to say anything -

it's not really my field, but...

it was certainly anolecithin
in young Jacko's body from somewhere.

lf it didn't come from that pill,
it came from another. Like the girls.

- What girls?
- lt was in Lever, so l checked Leighton Buzzard.

Definite traces.

So then l rechecked Marilyn Garrett.

l missed it the first time round.

Well, 1 00 aspirin
give you a massive haemorrhage.

She can't have!

She wouldn't...

Marilyn?

Morse?

Are you all right?

CIear-headed?

He said it made you very clear-headed.

(Hayward chuckIes)
WeII, we missed our chance there, didn't we?

Whoever gave them that drug is a murderer.

BRlSTOWE:
It's aIways been such a gentIe scene.

I don't want to be the one to...

So what do you think?

WOMAN: When is it?
- Tonight.

Oh, God.

All right, l'll do it.

Well...

..l was getting out, anyway.

Wasn't l?

l don't know about drugs.

I missed the '60s.

Sex and drugs and rock and roll.

They were happening aII around me.

l was based at Windsor when the Rolling Stones
played on Eel Pie lsland.

l was just never in the right place
at the right time.

Well, you don't like rock and roll.

l like sex.

l've never taken drugs, of course.

Wouldn't you have tried them

- if they'd been offered?
- Too frightened.

What of?

Of what, Lewis. Of what.

Losing control, l suppose.

l know l drink a bit, but...

drugs?

You don't know what demons

- drugs may Iet Ioose.
- Might be angels, not demons.

Have you ever tried?

Smoked cannabis once.

When was this?

NewcastIe.

l needn't have asked, need l?

Some of the lads wanted to try it.
Just to see, you know.

And there was this pusher that we'd arrested,
so...took some stuff down a club.

What was it like?

Nothing much.

lt just made my head spin.

Then what's the great attraction?

Why do they get addicted?

They don't...not with cannabis.

Exams?

Exam pressure -
is that what these children had in common?

(Phone rings)

Chief Inspector Morse's office.

Who?

Oh, yeah? Right.

Tonight?

HeIIo?

HeIIo?

- Who was that?
- Didn't say.

There's a party. Tonight.

How do you usuaIIy find out?

Local force sees what's going on
and reports back.

- Too Iate.
- The kids find out, all right.

- They Iisten to pirate radios.
- Well...?

They're only on for an hour or so. You need
to know the frequency. lt's a closed world.

Jacko.

- Jacko Lever!
- What?

He had a radio beside his bed.

Tuned into nothing, or so l thought.

Sergeant, l thought you were the taxi.

Could l come in a moment?

lt's Charley, you see. He's had a...
lt's just a mild one,

but they're keeping him in for 24 hours. Stress.

Very painful. l understand.

Now he's left his specs

and he's useless without them.

- l'm sorry, but l must have Jacko's radio.
- No.

- We don't want anything touched. Nothing.
- Just his radio.

- lf l could just pop upstairs to his bedroom...
(Horn beeps)

(Whine of static interference)

ls that what passes for modern music?

You're not tuned in, lad.

Don't touch that!

''Sir,'' Lewis. ''Don't touch that, sir.''

Yes...sir.

What you need's an aerial, lad.

Brass band music,

that's what l like... Pom-pom-pom!

That's the stuff.

(Music plays)

Something wrong with the beer, sir?

No, it's me.

There's something wrong with me.

? House music

What for God's sake is that?

Ssh...sir.

A big shout going out to everyone at the PiIston
on Saturday. You reaIIy made it kick.

And, Kevin, don't worry about it, mate. It's sorted.

Tonight, of course,
we're going to be getting angeIic again.

A speciaI venue, I've been toId.

The Garden of Eden.
We're going back to nature.

CaII this number: 0839 819001.

It's going to be a good one, foIks. 0839 819001.

Number? What number?

DoubIe-check.
You have to ring in at the Iast minute.

l'd give it half an hour.

They'll send you to a collection point first.
On the M25, usually.

lt's eclectic, Lewis, this music.

That's the basis of it.

l don't hear any guitars.

No, no, no. It's a coIIage.

Magpie music.

A bit here, a bit there, all mixed together.

HeIIo?

M40 interchange.

(Buzz of conversation)

(Car horns beep)

What's going on?

Hello, sarge. Some sort of party.
You invited?

No, but we're going anyway. Where is it?

Search me. l just don't want 'em
on my bloody motorway, that's all.

- (Whooping and cheering)
- What is that?

? Dance music with heavy bass

(Whooping and tooting of horns)

Let's party.

You know what this reminds me of, Lewis?

The Pied Piper Of Hamelin.

My kids used to Iove that.

''Out came the children running.

All the little boys and girls,

With rosy cheeks and fIaxen curIs."

''And sparkling eyes and teeth like pearls,

Tripping and skipping,
ran merrily after the wonderful music

With shouting and Iaughter."

And we know what happened to the children.

? House music with heavy bass

LEWlS: Swanwick Park?

Never heard of it.

MORSE: lt's a good house. Paxton.

He built the Crystal Palace.

It used to have the best coIIection of MuriIIos
in the country.

They're in Texas now.

It was a hospitaI for a bit, and then a schooI.

And Iast time I was here, it was a nunnery.

When was that?

What did you do in your schooI hoIidays, Lewis?

Nothing much. PIayed footbaII.

I went cycIing.

I used to go round
Iooking at parish churches, country houses.

Anyone's home was better than my own.

We can't go in there. We'd stand out a mile.

We're not even wearing trainers.

What exactly happens at these things?

l don't know.

(Shouts of excitement)

Get the torch, Lewis.

Beautiful piece of architecture.

Wasted on nuns.

Well, l don't know.

Out of everybody's way. No bothering
the neighbours with their music and bells.

Plenty of parking space.

They were an enclosed order, Lewis.
They didn't have cars.

? Jump, jump a little higher

? Jump, jump a little higher
Rock your body

Breaking and entering, Lewis?

- Yes, sir.
- Get on with it, then.

(Whistles and heavy bass)

Here, look at these.

They must be 50 years old.

We're not buying the pIace, Lewis.

Come on, we'll miss the party.

Up you go, Lewis.

For God's sake!

lt's all right, sir. No-one can hear with that music.

Lewis! Lewis, wait, l can't see!

Give me that thing!

l don't know why you're wearing that stupid hat.

MORSE: It's Iike some sort of an orgy!

A bacchanalian orgy!

I thought orgies were more...sex?

Personal and social development, Lewis.

Sex isn't safe any more.

Maybe this is what you do instead.

There's Lizzy, look.

And there's Vicky Wilson, thank God.

Which is she?

On the platform,

in front of that...baby.

What do they drink?

Water.

I wouIdn't mind a go down there.

lt really gets you, doesn't it?

Not me, Lewis.

Not at all.

Come on, Lewis.

(Music drowns out speech)

Get Vicky Wilson!

Collier!

Liz!

l can't hear!

Liz!

That one! That one!

(Sirens blare)

The bastard!

The evil bastard!

He got away.

MORSE: Look, you're not going to go tojaiI.

Home, if your mum wiII stiII have you.

A home, otherwise.

What is it like? Just tell us what it's like.

You love everyone in the world.

When you touch someone...

You want to touch everyone,
to show them how much you Iove them.

You see it all from heaven.

The whole thing.

Then why did Marilyn want to end it?

Marilyn?

Because she'd seen everything
and there was nothing more?

l'm...l'm thirsty.

Have you got a Coke or...

..tea?

What l'd really like is tea.

l made an error.

An excusable one, perhaps, but still an error.

l kept trying to remember
what it was like to be young.

The memory's too personal. l should have
been imagining. Trying to imagine.

I was miserable,
so l thought aII kids are miserable.

l forgot the hours l spent
imagining what it was like to be happy.

I forgot my dreams.

Those kids...they were happy, weren't they?

Looked it.

So happy they thought...

Suppose you thought
you'd found the secret of life itself.

There isn't one, is there?

That's what's reaIIy wicked.

To make you think there is.

To make you think you've seen
everything there is to see at 1 6,

that you've had the best of life
before it's even begun.

To make you think there is nothing left to live for.

l hope that man's in hellfire.

You don't beIieve in heII.

l wish l did, though.

Tonight l really wish l did.

Go home, Lewis.

Go and revise your traffic.

Thank you, sir.

? Bass line

Lyn?

Where did you get this music, love?

Off someone at schooI.

Who?

A friend.

Which one?

No-one you know.

- Lyn...
- Dad, I've got an exam tomorrow.

Good night, love.

Good night.

(Music continues in background)

MORSE: You've got to have something
when you're young.

Something that's yours and no-one eIse's.

l only read poetry to annoy her.

''What's this rubbish?'' she'd say.

l owe all the things that l love
to the fact that she couldn't stand me.

She was jealous.

Of me?

Of your mum.

She'd had all that time with Dad before her.

Hasn't forgiven her yet.

lt's pathetic.

We call ourselves grown-ups,

but all the time...

I Ioved MariIyn.

Loved her so much.

l wanted her to be and do all the things...

She wouIdn't have done, you know.

She'd only have been herself.

Just herseIf.

l know. All the same...

If you'd had kids of your own...

It's what peopIe say- they're onIy Ient to us.

Before you know it, there's a person there
with very different ideas about things to you.

You don't Iove her any Iess.

But you see there's no...

You want to mouId them and protect them
and keep them for ever.

But you can't.

They're not yours.

? Don't be scared

We must try and forgive her.

l am...

trying.

Well, l'd better go.

Hell of a lot to catch up on.

All right.

See you.