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- Synced and corrected by Firefly -
- www.addic7ed.com -
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I am going to kill you.
3
00:00:25,710 --> 00:00:27,463
What? I haven't even said the stuff yet
4
00:00:27,465 --> 00:00:28,564
that might piss you off.
5
00:00:28,566 --> 00:00:30,666
[GASPS, YELLS]
6
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- Ivy!
- [JOKER SIGHS]
7
00:00:36,250 --> 00:00:39,288
Violence was the hallmark
of our relationship, too.
8
00:00:39,290 --> 00:00:42,588
Beth, you craving Thai or Italian?
9
00:00:42,590 --> 00:00:44,897
Hey! I don't know what I
did! I'm sure it's somethin'.
10
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Let's just hash this out like adults.
11
00:00:47,160 --> 00:00:49,130
[GASPS, SQUEALS]
12
00:00:50,630 --> 00:00:52,268
[KITE MAN] I gotcha!
13
00:00:52,270 --> 00:00:53,898
So, missed you at the dress fitting.
14
00:00:53,900 --> 00:00:55,908
Kite Man, what the fuck is happenin'?
15
00:00:55,910 --> 00:00:58,138
- Also, hand.
- Uh... Oh, oh! Sorry.
16
00:00:58,140 --> 00:00:59,478
- [PARADEMON SCREECHING]
- Uh, turns out
17
00:00:59,480 --> 00:01:01,838
Dr. Psycho is now, like, all-powerful,
18
00:01:01,840 --> 00:01:03,678
and has my forever babe mind controlled.
19
00:01:03,680 --> 00:01:06,208
[GROANS] Well, we won't
need to worry about Psycho
20
00:01:06,210 --> 00:01:07,218
after I kill him.
21
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Oh, thank God!
22
00:01:08,370 --> 00:01:11,318
She's the love of my life,
and the wedding is tomorrow.
23
00:01:11,320 --> 00:01:12,558
The wedding's happening, okay?
24
00:01:12,560 --> 00:01:13,958
You didn't buy that tux for nothin'.
25
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I didn't buy it at all. It's a rental.
26
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Jesus, you are a grown man.
27
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Just buy it, you're gonna use it.
28
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[PEOPLE SCREAMING]
29
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- [PARADEMONS SNARLING]
- [BATMAN GRUNTING]
30
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[GRUNTING]
31
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One nest of Parademons, coming right up!
32
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Okay, that wasn't to anybody.
33
00:01:54,260 --> 00:01:55,670
[SUPERMAN GRUNTS]
34
00:01:57,200 --> 00:01:58,668
[WONDER WOMAN GRUNTS]
35
00:01:58,670 --> 00:02:00,298
I'll ask you this once.
36
00:02:00,300 --> 00:02:02,268
Where is Dr. Psycho?
37
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[SCREECHES]
38
00:02:06,124 --> 00:02:07,283
Oh, what?
39
00:02:07,285 --> 00:02:08,524
Because I'm an alien,
40
00:02:08,526 --> 00:02:11,948
I understand all alien languages?
41
00:02:11,950 --> 00:02:13,878
Okay. I know a little Parademon,
42
00:02:13,880 --> 00:02:16,790
but it's still a racist
assumption. Be better.
43
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[DR. PSYCHO AND RIDDLER LAUGHING]
44
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Do the fish guy, do him.
45
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[LAUGHS] God! You're like Jaws
46
00:02:24,890 --> 00:02:26,698
if all ya ate was fat people.
47
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Okay, what's your most
embarrassing moment?
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[GASPS] I thought we were friends,
49
00:02:31,370 --> 00:02:34,910
or at least coworkers with a
begrudging professional respect.
50
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Nanaue,
51
00:02:38,340 --> 00:02:40,278
play nice with your brother.
52
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[YOUNG SHARK STRUGGLING, GRUNTING]
53
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[WHIMPERS]
54
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[SNIFFS] Blood!
55
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- [YOUNG SHARK SCREAMS]
- [BONES CRUNCHING]
56
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No! What are you doing?
57
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That's your brother!
58
00:02:52,020 --> 00:02:53,328
My lord!
59
00:02:53,330 --> 00:02:55,988
You devoured your kin
like an amuse-bouche!
60
00:02:55,990 --> 00:02:57,319
Holy hell!
61
00:02:57,321 --> 00:02:59,224
I thought we were gonna
see you crap your pants,
62
00:02:59,226 --> 00:03:00,756
but that is dark, man.
63
00:03:04,570 --> 00:03:07,467
Have you procured the
head of Harley Quinn?
64
00:03:07,469 --> 00:03:08,638
Funny you should ask.
65
00:03:08,640 --> 00:03:11,038
I am procuring as we speak.
66
00:03:11,040 --> 00:03:13,078
Any minute now, her head
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00:03:13,080 --> 00:03:14,708
is gonna come rolling through the door
68
00:03:14,710 --> 00:03:17,508
like a bowling ball with a bad dye job.
69
00:03:17,510 --> 00:03:19,648
Ahem! Sorry to interrupt.
70
00:03:19,650 --> 00:03:21,119
Um, apparently,
71
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Batman and his super friends
destroyed the Parademons,
72
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and are, um... [CLEARS THROAT]
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- ... are coming here.
- Fuck!
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You express fear and displeasure.
75
00:03:28,685 --> 00:03:30,558
No! Everything's fine.
76
00:03:30,560 --> 00:03:32,458
That was a happy "fuck".
77
00:03:32,460 --> 00:03:34,997
It's a great word. You can
use it many different ways.
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00:03:34,999 --> 00:03:36,897
Like "Fuck, yeah!" or, "Let's fuck".
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Harley Quinn swore an
oath to me and failed.
80
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Now you have sworn the same oath.
81
00:03:42,340 --> 00:03:45,368
I shall appear at nightfall
to collect someone's head.
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It is your choice whose.
83
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No problem, no biggie!
84
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Now, is that my nightfall
or where you are?
85
00:03:51,050 --> 00:03:53,318
'Cause time zones across
planets and dimensions
86
00:03:53,320 --> 00:03:55,018
are like wah, wah,
wah, wah, wah... okay.
87
00:03:55,020 --> 00:03:56,448
[LAUGHS TRIUMPHANTLY]
88
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You've stepped in it now, Psycho.
89
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A big, fresh wet one!
90
00:03:59,990 --> 00:04:02,758
♪ The Justice League to the rescue! ♪
91
00:04:02,760 --> 00:04:04,628
Huzzah!
92
00:04:04,630 --> 00:04:06,628
No way that helmet's powerful enough
93
00:04:06,630 --> 00:04:08,858
to control Superman's funky alien brain.
94
00:04:08,860 --> 00:04:11,528
♪ The Justice League comes to get us ♪
95
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♪ Free us all ♪ [CONTINUES VOCALIZING]
96
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He might be right.
97
00:04:14,301 --> 00:04:15,798
If the Justice League reach the mall,
98
00:04:15,800 --> 00:04:17,438
uh, game over.
99
00:04:17,440 --> 00:04:18,738
Shut up, Debbie Downer,
100
00:04:18,740 --> 00:04:20,138
it's not game over.
101
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It's game on! Ha!
102
00:04:22,209 --> 00:04:23,448
We got a new plan.
103
00:04:23,450 --> 00:04:25,061
We're gonna kill Harley Quinn,
104
00:04:25,063 --> 00:04:27,478
but first we gotta kill the heroes.
105
00:04:27,480 --> 00:04:28,948
Kill the heroes,
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kill Harley,
107
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rule Earth!
108
00:04:34,090 --> 00:04:36,257
Welcome to the old
Kite-tress of solitude.
109
00:04:36,259 --> 00:04:37,288
Sorry about the mess.
110
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My, uh, roommate
leaves stuff everywhere.
111
00:04:39,760 --> 00:04:41,175
Psycho, that little shit.
112
00:04:41,177 --> 00:04:42,732
Puts on a magic yarmulke
113
00:04:42,734 --> 00:04:44,367
and now, he's doin' Jedi mind tricks?
114
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We need to destroy that helmet.
115
00:04:46,069 --> 00:04:47,725
Uh, just a little caveat there.
116
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Uh, we can't get close
or he'll put our domes
117
00:04:50,011 --> 00:04:51,669
through the brain-washing spin cycle.
118
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I know. He did the same thing
119
00:04:52,941 --> 00:04:54,239
to Clayface and King Shark.
120
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The second they... Sy.
121
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[SIGHS DEEPLY] Sigh is right.
122
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For my lady love hath been led astray.
123
00:05:01,721 --> 00:05:04,989
Not "sigh", dummy. Sy. Sy Borgman.
124
00:05:04,991 --> 00:05:06,919
Sy wasn't affected by
Psycho's mind control.
125
00:05:06,921 --> 00:05:08,259
He was immune.
126
00:05:08,261 --> 00:05:11,289
What the hell made you so special, Sy?
127
00:05:11,291 --> 00:05:13,296
[YELPS] Zombie eye, zombie eye!
128
00:05:13,298 --> 00:05:15,299
Wait, wait! My kite
senses are fluttering.
129
00:05:15,301 --> 00:05:16,869
It's Morse Code!
130
00:05:16,871 --> 00:05:18,829
- You know Morse Code?
- Of course!
131
00:05:18,831 --> 00:05:20,699
Sailors and kiters use signal lamps
132
00:05:20,701 --> 00:05:23,069
to transmit Morse Code
without being detected.
133
00:05:23,071 --> 00:05:25,239
I still sometimes
can't get over the fact
134
00:05:25,241 --> 00:05:26,739
Ivy has sex with you.
135
00:05:26,741 --> 00:05:28,639
[SUGGESTIVELY] Oh, she does.
136
00:05:28,641 --> 00:05:30,949
Look, the eye is saying...
137
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Plug... me... in.
138
00:05:33,921 --> 00:05:36,621
What does it mean?
139
00:05:38,927 --> 00:05:40,456
Ta-da!
140
00:05:40,458 --> 00:05:41,819
Oh, well, okay, right.
141
00:05:41,821 --> 00:05:43,859
Sy, you're a zombie robot ghost!
142
00:05:43,861 --> 00:05:46,159
N-n-n-none, none of the above, baby!
143
00:05:46,161 --> 00:05:47,829
I just got a classic case of
144
00:05:47,831 --> 00:05:50,899
the human consciousness-
transferred-into-the-machine-itis.
145
00:05:50,901 --> 00:05:52,180
There was a whole chapter on it
146
00:05:52,182 --> 00:05:54,739
in my robot b-b-b-body
handbook I didn't read.
147
00:05:54,741 --> 00:05:56,039
Sy, we don't have a lot of time.
148
00:05:56,041 --> 00:05:57,109
Listen, why weren't you affected
149
00:05:57,111 --> 00:05:58,209
by Psycho's mind control?
150
00:05:58,211 --> 00:06:00,309
Because the C-C-C-Commies!
151
00:06:00,311 --> 00:06:03,009
CIA wanted to make sure
the Ruskies didn't flip me
152
00:06:03,011 --> 00:06:04,334
into a Manchurian candidate
153
00:06:04,336 --> 00:06:06,079
and/or president of the United States.
154
00:06:06,081 --> 00:06:08,149
They used cutting-edge t-t-technology
155
00:06:08,151 --> 00:06:10,319
to create an anti-mind control device
156
00:06:10,321 --> 00:06:13,019
and jammed it in my n-n-n-noggin.
157
00:06:13,021 --> 00:06:15,719
Can you tell us how to make that device?
158
00:06:15,721 --> 00:06:19,089
Sure! Easy-p-p-peasy on my metal neezy.
159
00:06:19,091 --> 00:06:20,599
- Oh, thank God!
- We're coming, Ivy.
160
00:06:20,601 --> 00:06:22,321
[SY] All you need is magnetic coating
161
00:06:22,323 --> 00:06:23,670
- from a floppy disk...
- Huh.
162
00:06:23,672 --> 00:06:25,571
- The photodiodes of a VHS tape...
- [GROANS]
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And an 8-track recording of The
Monkees' D-D-D-Daydream Believer.
164
00:06:29,671 --> 00:06:31,769
Say we couldn't get those things...
165
00:06:31,771 --> 00:06:34,279
[SY] Well, then, it's gonna
take a little elbow grease.
166
00:06:34,281 --> 00:06:37,281
[INDISTINCT ROARING]
167
00:06:41,194 --> 00:06:43,633
Oh, my God! Superman's gonna kill Ivy!
168
00:06:43,635 --> 00:06:45,389
Wasn't he trapped in a book?
169
00:06:45,391 --> 00:06:47,319
- Who let Superman out of the book?
- [DISAPPOINTED SIGH]
170
00:06:47,321 --> 00:06:49,119
[RIDDLER] Are you sure you've got this?
171
00:06:49,121 --> 00:06:50,959
I mean, there's still time to flee.
172
00:06:50,961 --> 00:06:52,629
You've seen these calves.
173
00:06:52,631 --> 00:06:55,269
Stop showing me your
weird turkey leg calves.
174
00:06:55,271 --> 00:06:56,329
I'm not gonna fuck you.
175
00:06:56,331 --> 00:06:57,899
If you wanna go, go.
176
00:06:57,901 --> 00:06:59,869
But don't show up
tomorrow when this is over
177
00:06:59,871 --> 00:07:03,109
and still expect me to
let you rule Scandinavia.
178
00:07:03,111 --> 00:07:04,709
I know you got a type.
179
00:07:04,711 --> 00:07:06,309
Fine, fine, I'll stay.
180
00:07:06,311 --> 00:07:07,979
Ah! It's just so pretty there.
181
00:07:07,981 --> 00:07:09,409
Everything looks like a fairy tale.
182
00:07:09,411 --> 00:07:11,179
- [DR. PSYCHO] Mmm.
- Ow! God!
183
00:07:11,181 --> 00:07:12,821
Ivy, stand down.
184
00:07:14,281 --> 00:07:15,651
[WONDER WOMAN AND SUPERMAN GRUNT]
185
00:07:17,351 --> 00:07:18,941
Still got it, baby.
186
00:07:22,827 --> 00:07:24,056
Hey...
187
00:07:24,058 --> 00:07:26,427
I know I'm more of a wordplay guy,
188
00:07:26,429 --> 00:07:29,129
but, mathematically,
I don't like your odds.
189
00:07:29,131 --> 00:07:30,899
Don't get your onesie in a wad.
190
00:07:30,901 --> 00:07:32,829
I got a couple of things up my sleeve.
191
00:07:32,831 --> 00:07:34,739
Two very short arms?
192
00:07:34,741 --> 00:07:35,973
God damn it, I was trying to think
193
00:07:35,975 --> 00:07:38,141
of a really cool Wesley
Snipes-style one liner
194
00:07:38,143 --> 00:07:39,953
- and you had to go...
- Wesley Snipes?
195
00:07:39,955 --> 00:07:42,454
When's the last time
you saw a fucking movie?
196
00:07:42,456 --> 00:07:46,879
Poison Ivy, we know that you're
under Dr. Psycho's mind control.
197
00:07:46,881 --> 00:07:50,119
So I give you this warning.
I, Kal-El, do say...
198
00:07:50,121 --> 00:07:51,520
We don't want to have to take you out
199
00:07:51,522 --> 00:07:53,721
but if you don't give us
another option, we will.
200
00:07:53,723 --> 00:07:55,293
That's what he was getting to.
201
00:07:58,931 --> 00:08:00,959
Don't worry, the shark hates violence
202
00:08:00,961 --> 00:08:02,729
and the lump of clay is harmless.
203
00:08:02,731 --> 00:08:04,831
[YELLS] Blood!
204
00:08:09,741 --> 00:08:12,909
Okay, I did not, uh... yeah.
205
00:08:12,911 --> 00:08:14,239
Uh. Come on, come on!
206
00:08:14,241 --> 00:08:16,309
I'm Kite Man! Not Soldering Man!
207
00:08:16,311 --> 00:08:19,179
I know Soldering Man,
but he's in Milwaukee.
208
00:08:19,181 --> 00:08:20,920
No, I said connect the thingamajig
209
00:08:20,922 --> 00:08:23,149
to the w-w-what's-ya-call-it,
not the whose-it-what's-it!
210
00:08:23,151 --> 00:08:24,446
I don't know how to do this!
211
00:08:24,448 --> 00:08:26,959
Kites are electricity-free.
I went to Oberlin!
212
00:08:26,961 --> 00:08:28,289
Well, unless you figure it out,
213
00:08:28,291 --> 00:08:29,459
the person I love
214
00:08:29,461 --> 00:08:30,690
- is gonna die!
- What?
215
00:08:30,692 --> 00:08:32,224
As a friend. The friend I love,
216
00:08:32,226 --> 00:08:33,429
as a friend, is gonna die!
217
00:08:33,431 --> 00:08:35,869
Okay, 'cause that sounded intense.
218
00:08:35,871 --> 00:08:39,069
I'm Harley Quinn, I'm impetuous,
I kiss people. Muah!
219
00:08:39,071 --> 00:08:40,469
Oh-ho! Hoochie mama!
220
00:08:40,471 --> 00:08:42,039
What is happening?
221
00:08:42,041 --> 00:08:43,740
Okay. You know what? I can't wait around
222
00:08:43,742 --> 00:08:46,379
until you graduate from
DeVry! I'm goin' to save Ivy.
223
00:08:46,381 --> 00:08:47,399
Whoa, whoa, whoa,
224
00:08:47,401 --> 00:08:49,879
that is a sophisticated
piece of cloth and wood.
225
00:08:49,881 --> 00:08:52,079
It took years of training with my sen...
226
00:08:52,081 --> 00:08:55,079
And she is soaring majestically.
227
00:08:55,081 --> 00:08:56,451
- [ROARING]
- [BATMAN GRUNTS]
228
00:08:59,991 --> 00:09:03,141
[WONDER WOMAN GRUNTS]
229
00:09:08,301 --> 00:09:11,451
[WONDER WOMAN GRUNTS]
230
00:09:15,271 --> 00:09:16,471
[KING SHARK GRUNTS]
231
00:09:17,311 --> 00:09:19,109
[SUPERMAN STRAINING]
232
00:09:19,111 --> 00:09:24,111
Get off me, you angry
dolphin. Get off me!
233
00:09:30,321 --> 00:09:33,319
- [GLASS SHATTERING]
- [METAL CRUNCHING]
234
00:09:33,321 --> 00:09:35,389
- [WONDER WOMAN GRUNTS]
- [POISON IVY EXCLAIMS]
235
00:09:35,391 --> 00:09:37,495
Wait, wait! Did I tell you?
236
00:09:37,497 --> 00:09:40,229
Ivy and I basically spent
her whole bachelorette party
237
00:09:40,231 --> 00:09:42,199
saving Themyscira from Lex Luthor?
238
00:09:42,201 --> 00:09:43,500
Clear the area, clown.
239
00:09:43,502 --> 00:09:45,702
Otherwise, I can't be
responsible for your safety.
240
00:09:47,301 --> 00:09:48,509
[BOTH GRUNT]
241
00:09:48,511 --> 00:09:49,569
[PANTS]
242
00:09:49,571 --> 00:09:51,309
Damn it, Harley!
243
00:09:51,311 --> 00:09:53,179
[KING SHARK SNIFFING]
244
00:09:53,181 --> 00:09:55,479
Blood!
245
00:09:55,481 --> 00:09:56,579
[KING SHARK GROWLS]
246
00:09:56,581 --> 00:09:58,309
[WONDER WOMAN GRUNTS]
247
00:09:58,311 --> 00:09:59,979
[BATMAN GROANING] Harley!
248
00:09:59,981 --> 00:10:02,279
Are you shittin' me, Clayface?
249
00:10:02,281 --> 00:10:04,349
You could change into this at any time
250
00:10:04,351 --> 00:10:07,189
and chose ditzy co-eds and divorcees?
251
00:10:07,191 --> 00:10:08,291
[CLAYFACE ROARS]
252
00:10:10,461 --> 00:10:11,461
[SUPERMAN GRUNTS]
253
00:10:13,801 --> 00:10:15,429
You realize the Man of Steel
254
00:10:15,431 --> 00:10:18,069
isn't just a clever nickname, right?
255
00:10:18,071 --> 00:10:19,539
Ive, you gotta snap out of it
256
00:10:19,541 --> 00:10:24,191
or they're gonna kill... [YELPS]
257
00:10:27,341 --> 00:10:32,341
- [SUPERMAN GRUNTS]
- [POISON IVY SCREAMS]
258
00:10:41,706 --> 00:10:44,791
[HARLEY] Ugh. Homeboy's gotta
upgrade to jet pack or somethin'.
259
00:10:46,301 --> 00:10:49,001
[CLAYFACE ROARING]
260
00:10:56,141 --> 00:10:59,141
[KING SHARK ROARING]
261
00:11:02,281 --> 00:11:05,281
[KING SHARK ROARING]
262
00:11:12,991 --> 00:11:14,061
[KING SHARK YELPS, GRUNTS]
263
00:11:17,531 --> 00:11:18,561
- [ROARS]
- [METAL CLANGS]
264
00:11:20,361 --> 00:11:22,099
[GASPS]
265
00:11:22,101 --> 00:11:23,301
[GRUNTS]
266
00:11:28,041 --> 00:11:30,741
[CLAYFACE ROARING]
267
00:11:38,281 --> 00:11:39,281
[BEEPING]
268
00:11:40,621 --> 00:11:43,021
[CLAYFACE ROARS]
269
00:11:49,591 --> 00:11:50,641
[SNAPS]
270
00:11:57,471 --> 00:12:00,299
[GRUNTS] Ive, there you are.
271
00:12:00,301 --> 00:12:02,399
Oh, wow, you rocked Superman.
272
00:12:02,401 --> 00:12:03,431
Anyway, listen,
273
00:12:03,433 --> 00:12:06,162
I know the real you
is in there somewhere.
274
00:12:13,651 --> 00:12:15,221
Well, that's new.
275
00:12:16,221 --> 00:12:18,621
[HARLEY SCREAMS]
276
00:12:23,431 --> 00:12:25,189
[SIGHS]
277
00:12:25,191 --> 00:12:28,429
I guess Poison Ivy
should've... hedged her bet.
278
00:12:28,431 --> 00:12:29,571
Hmm.
279
00:12:33,301 --> 00:12:37,069
[GRAPPLE GUN FIRING]
280
00:12:37,071 --> 00:12:39,309
Okie d-d-d-dokie, that should do it.
281
00:12:39,311 --> 00:12:40,739
Give her a whirl, Mr. Kite Man.
282
00:12:40,741 --> 00:12:43,279
[DEVICE WHIRRS, BEEPS]
283
00:12:43,281 --> 00:12:45,041
- [ELECTRICITY CRACKLING]
- [KITE MAN GRUNTS]
284
00:12:46,051 --> 00:12:48,178
- Sy?
- [STATIC]
285
00:12:48,180 --> 00:12:50,979
Oh, frick, I killed him.
286
00:12:50,981 --> 00:12:52,350
[SY] No way, Jose!
287
00:12:52,352 --> 00:12:54,489
Synet is online!
288
00:12:54,491 --> 00:12:55,851
Where are you?
289
00:12:55,853 --> 00:12:58,389
[SY] Hey. Let's build this
anti-mind-control device
290
00:12:58,391 --> 00:13:00,729
and then if there's time,
we'll make some fresh pasta.
291
00:13:00,731 --> 00:13:02,381
Hell, yeah!
292
00:13:07,130 --> 00:13:09,069
[HARLEY] Oh, great! Gang's all here.
293
00:13:09,071 --> 00:13:11,340
We don't need to settle this
with violence. You know...
294
00:13:11,342 --> 00:13:13,141
Hmm. That's a personal first.
295
00:13:13,143 --> 00:13:15,412
Quinn's right. Wayne Tower
has seen enough damage.
296
00:13:15,414 --> 00:13:17,013
And I believe a metahuman battle
297
00:13:17,015 --> 00:13:19,244
falls outside Mr. Wayne's
insurance coverage.
298
00:13:19,246 --> 00:13:21,256
He's a friend, I'm just saying.
299
00:13:22,081 --> 00:13:24,331
[HARLEY GRUNTS]
300
00:13:28,461 --> 00:13:29,461
[POISON IVY GRUNTS]
301
00:13:30,952 --> 00:13:32,621
Bats, you got her all tied up.
302
00:13:32,623 --> 00:13:34,629
Leave her alone and go stop Psycho.
303
00:13:34,631 --> 00:13:36,029
I'm sorry, Harley.
304
00:13:36,031 --> 00:13:37,429
She's too dangerous.
305
00:13:37,431 --> 00:13:38,769
She needs to be taken down.
306
00:13:38,771 --> 00:13:40,639
She could escape and kill thousands
307
00:13:40,641 --> 00:13:42,539
before Dr. Psycho is neutralized.
308
00:13:42,541 --> 00:13:44,439
I can't let you kill her.
309
00:13:44,441 --> 00:13:46,809
I love her more than
anything in this whole world.
310
00:13:46,811 --> 00:13:48,310
I'm not gonna kill her.
311
00:13:48,312 --> 00:13:51,042
I'm just gonna put her
in the phantom zone
312
00:13:51,044 --> 00:13:52,649
where she'll rest for all of eternity.
313
00:13:52,651 --> 00:13:53,779
Then, send me there, too!
314
00:13:53,781 --> 00:13:55,279
Uh, all right.
315
00:13:55,281 --> 00:13:57,789
Wow, this is so dramatic.
316
00:13:57,791 --> 00:13:59,619
It's like a CW show,
317
00:13:59,621 --> 00:14:01,319
if the cast was less hot.
318
00:14:01,321 --> 00:14:03,459
Yeah, you guys are right.
Ivy's too dangerous to...
319
00:14:03,461 --> 00:14:04,519
To be left alive.
320
00:14:04,521 --> 00:14:07,228
You should have killed her when
you had the chance. Because now?
321
00:14:07,230 --> 00:14:09,829
You're right where I want you.
322
00:14:09,831 --> 00:14:11,601
[WONDER WOMAN GASPS, COUGHS]
323
00:14:14,601 --> 00:14:15,651
[GASPS]
324
00:14:20,654 --> 00:14:23,023
Wonder Woman, you look bangin'.
325
00:14:23,025 --> 00:14:24,034
- What?
- Batman,
326
00:14:24,036 --> 00:14:26,549
are those pecs real or is it just
the suit? [CHUCKLES PLAYFULLY]
327
00:14:26,551 --> 00:14:27,649
Gross.
328
00:14:27,651 --> 00:14:29,849
These pecs are definitely real.
329
00:14:29,851 --> 00:14:32,519
Give them a grab. Don't be shy.
330
00:14:32,521 --> 00:14:35,289
Oh, gross. Did you just spray
them with Ivy's love pheromones?
331
00:14:35,291 --> 00:14:38,659
Maybe we should see what's
under these costumes.
332
00:14:38,661 --> 00:14:39,730
[WONDER WOMAN CHUCKLES]
333
00:14:39,732 --> 00:14:41,408
Or not. A lot of not. Please, not!
334
00:14:41,410 --> 00:14:43,199
[SUPERMAN LAUGHS] You know I
can see through that, right?
335
00:14:43,201 --> 00:14:44,371
[GASPS, YELPS]
336
00:14:46,671 --> 00:14:50,469
[DISTANT WHISTLING]
337
00:14:50,471 --> 00:14:51,669
[RIDDLER AND DR. PSYCHO LAUGHING]
338
00:14:51,671 --> 00:14:54,379
Yes! The heroes are defeated!
339
00:14:54,381 --> 00:14:55,809
Ivy's bringing me Harley,
340
00:14:55,811 --> 00:14:57,679
my ramen takeout's almost here,
341
00:14:57,681 --> 00:14:59,749
and the Earth is about to be mine!
342
00:14:59,751 --> 00:15:03,789
I'm the most powerful
person on the fucking planet!
343
00:15:03,791 --> 00:15:04,919
[DR. PSYCHO] Ahhh!
344
00:15:04,921 --> 00:15:07,519
I've returned to collect
what is owed to me.
345
00:15:07,521 --> 00:15:09,661
Where is Harley Quinn?
346
00:15:11,661 --> 00:15:13,459
[DR. PSYCHO] Yeah.
So, it's mostly gadgets
347
00:15:13,461 --> 00:15:15,429
like drones and scented alarm clocks.
348
00:15:15,431 --> 00:15:17,129
The kind of stuff you
find in the sky mall.
349
00:15:17,131 --> 00:15:19,599
And who is Orange Julius?
350
00:15:19,601 --> 00:15:20,669
[RIDDLER LAUGHS]
351
00:15:20,671 --> 00:15:21,799
- She's here.
- See?
352
00:15:21,801 --> 00:15:23,739
Harley Quinn, as promised.
353
00:15:23,741 --> 00:15:26,439
Psycho, release me,
you tiny, giant asshole!
354
00:15:26,441 --> 00:15:27,540
Shut up.
355
00:15:27,542 --> 00:15:29,539
Kill her now and I shall call forth
356
00:15:29,541 --> 00:15:31,479
the armies of Apokolips
357
00:15:31,481 --> 00:15:33,119
to enslave this planet
358
00:15:33,121 --> 00:15:34,649
as we agreed upon.
359
00:15:34,651 --> 00:15:36,789
Choose not to and it's your head.
360
00:15:36,791 --> 00:15:38,789
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Blah, blah, blah.
361
00:15:38,791 --> 00:15:39,999
Cool your jets, Big D.
362
00:15:40,001 --> 00:15:41,483
I have been thinking about something,
363
00:15:41,485 --> 00:15:44,589
I'm more than just a "rule
Earth" kind of guy, all right?
364
00:15:44,591 --> 00:15:46,599
I could rule solar systems for you,
365
00:15:46,601 --> 00:15:48,259
goddamn galaxies.
366
00:15:48,261 --> 00:15:50,169
[CHUCKLES] Unlikely.
367
00:15:50,171 --> 00:15:51,424
Listen, I get it, I get it.
368
00:15:51,426 --> 00:15:54,267
You probably think I'm just
a run-of-the-mill supervillain
369
00:15:54,269 --> 00:15:55,838
but I got that charisma,
370
00:15:55,840 --> 00:15:59,409
that je ne sais quoi that you're
looking for in a right-hand man.
371
00:15:59,411 --> 00:16:02,539
Let me show ya. I'm about
to do something epic!
372
00:16:02,541 --> 00:16:03,849
- Explain.
- [DEVICE BEEPS]
373
00:16:03,851 --> 00:16:05,409
You see the living weed over there?
374
00:16:05,411 --> 00:16:07,649
That right there is Poison Ivy.
375
00:16:07,651 --> 00:16:10,349
Let me give you some backstory.
376
00:16:10,351 --> 00:16:12,140
Harley, I made the
anti-mind control device.
377
00:16:12,142 --> 00:16:14,389
Well, actually Sy
turned into a cake mixer
378
00:16:14,391 --> 00:16:16,630
and he made it... It's
kind of a funny story...
379
00:16:16,632 --> 00:16:17,831
that we don't have time for.
380
00:16:17,833 --> 00:16:20,599
We only had materials
for two of these bad boys.
381
00:16:20,601 --> 00:16:22,969
Put the other in Ivy's ear
if my plan doesn't work.
382
00:16:22,971 --> 00:16:24,969
This is the plan.
383
00:16:24,971 --> 00:16:27,099
What the hell is your plan?
384
00:16:27,101 --> 00:16:28,300
True love.
385
00:16:28,302 --> 00:16:30,869
Pamela Isley. It's me. Chuck.
386
00:16:30,871 --> 00:16:32,281
What is a "Chuck"?
387
00:16:32,283 --> 00:16:34,841
Ivy, I'm your fiancé. Your soulmate.
388
00:16:34,843 --> 00:16:38,281
I believe our love is so powerful,
that when I kiss you,
389
00:16:38,283 --> 00:16:39,551
it will break Psycho's spell.
390
00:16:39,553 --> 00:16:44,203
Because true love conquers all.
391
00:16:46,863 --> 00:16:49,421
[GRUNTS]
392
00:16:49,423 --> 00:16:52,501
As I was saying, Ivy and
Harley are best friends.
393
00:16:52,503 --> 00:16:54,513
So it's gonna be very poetic
394
00:16:54,515 --> 00:16:57,531
when Harley is killed
not only by her friend...
395
00:16:57,533 --> 00:17:00,341
but her secret lover!
396
00:17:00,343 --> 00:17:01,441
You know?
397
00:17:01,443 --> 00:17:03,211
Of course I fucking know!
398
00:17:03,213 --> 00:17:05,371
You think I'm going to mind control Ivy
399
00:17:05,373 --> 00:17:07,211
and not read her mind?
400
00:17:07,213 --> 00:17:10,151
You don't buy a Ferrari
and leave it in the garage!
401
00:17:10,153 --> 00:17:11,911
We are not secret lovers!
402
00:17:11,913 --> 00:17:13,661
It was a couple times and it was amazing
403
00:17:13,663 --> 00:17:15,521
and Ivy broke it off and
I'm totally cool with it!
404
00:17:15,523 --> 00:17:18,151
Enough! Stop trying to lower the stakes.
405
00:17:18,153 --> 00:17:20,801
Hey. Pitting two lovers
against each other,
406
00:17:20,803 --> 00:17:22,321
like I said, epic.
407
00:17:22,323 --> 00:17:26,601
I am mildly intrigued
by evil usurping love.
408
00:17:26,603 --> 00:17:29,331
Oh, look at the big words on Darkseid.
409
00:17:29,333 --> 00:17:30,931
Someone did well on their SATs.
410
00:17:30,933 --> 00:17:33,303
Ive, we love each other too
much to do this! [GRUNTS]
411
00:17:35,573 --> 00:17:36,743
[LAUGHS EVILLY]
412
00:17:38,343 --> 00:17:39,513
[HARLEY GRUNTS]
413
00:17:40,813 --> 00:17:42,883
[SIGHS] Don't make me hurt you.
414
00:17:43,853 --> 00:17:45,453
[GRUNTING]
415
00:17:47,323 --> 00:17:49,823
Okay, don't make me hurt you again.
416
00:17:59,293 --> 00:18:00,663
- [GRUNTS]
- [BAT CLATTERS]
417
00:18:01,933 --> 00:18:03,203
[STRAINING, GRUNTING]
418
00:18:04,533 --> 00:18:06,541
[LAUGHS] Isn't this great?
419
00:18:06,543 --> 00:18:08,271
Friends fighting to the death.
420
00:18:08,273 --> 00:18:10,373
I mean, this is the stuff
that gets you off, right?
421
00:18:12,313 --> 00:18:14,283
[BOTH GRUNTING]
422
00:18:16,883 --> 00:18:18,353
[GRUNTING]
423
00:18:20,183 --> 00:18:21,623
[HARLEY STRAINING]
424
00:18:23,893 --> 00:18:28,093
- [GRUNTS]
- [DEVICE CLATTERS]
425
00:18:29,533 --> 00:18:32,461
Yes! Kill her! Kill Harley!
426
00:18:32,463 --> 00:18:37,463
[STRAINING] Here...
goes... true... love...
427
00:18:40,743 --> 00:18:45,043
Okay! Mr. Johnson's up!
Girl on girl. So hot.
428
00:18:45,913 --> 00:18:48,611
Holy shit. True love worked.
429
00:18:48,613 --> 00:18:50,511
What are you, 13?
430
00:18:50,513 --> 00:18:53,251
Psycho, focus. [SNAPS FINGERS] Focus!
431
00:18:53,253 --> 00:18:55,759
Fine. I command you
432
00:18:55,761 --> 00:18:57,861
to kill Harley Quinn.
433
00:18:59,863 --> 00:19:01,721
[GRUNTING] Uh, come on!
434
00:19:01,723 --> 00:19:04,491
And I command you to ess my vee.
435
00:19:04,493 --> 00:19:05,931
"Ess my vee"?
436
00:19:05,933 --> 00:19:07,731
[DR. PSYCHO GRUNTS] What the fuck?
437
00:19:07,733 --> 00:19:10,431
[GROANS] What the hell is going on?
438
00:19:10,433 --> 00:19:12,631
Guess you ain't as strong
as you thought, Psycho.
439
00:19:12,633 --> 00:19:13,702
You're not an A-lister.
440
00:19:13,704 --> 00:19:15,671
Just a goon with delusions of grandeur.
441
00:19:15,673 --> 00:19:17,811
Have you failed me, human?
442
00:19:17,813 --> 00:19:21,641
No! You think I need
Ivy to kill her? Come on.
443
00:19:21,643 --> 00:19:25,351
I'll kill both of 'em.
I am an all-powerful man!
444
00:19:25,353 --> 00:19:28,251
- Come and get me!
- [BOTH] Sure.
445
00:19:28,253 --> 00:19:29,691
- [DR. PSYCHO GRUNTS]
- [OBJECTS CLATTER]
446
00:19:29,693 --> 00:19:31,551
You're not all-powerful, douchebag.
447
00:19:31,553 --> 00:19:33,921
You're just a loser who
puts on a hat to look cool.
448
00:19:33,923 --> 00:19:35,391
Basically, everyone on Tinder.
449
00:19:35,393 --> 00:19:36,700
Yeah a lot of hats on Tinder.
450
00:19:36,702 --> 00:19:37,771
- A lot of hats.
- Oh!
451
00:19:37,773 --> 00:19:39,701
Oh! It's good to have my
very bitter friend back.
452
00:19:39,703 --> 00:19:41,431
It's over for ya, buddy!
453
00:19:41,433 --> 00:19:42,871
[GRUNTS]
454
00:19:42,873 --> 00:19:44,731
- [ELECTRICITY CRACKLES]
- [DR. PSYCHO GROANS]
455
00:19:44,733 --> 00:19:46,841
Harley Quinn!
456
00:19:46,843 --> 00:19:49,641
[NERVOUSLY] Hi, Mr. Darkseid, sir.
457
00:19:49,643 --> 00:19:51,228
I'm really sorry about bringing
458
00:19:51,230 --> 00:19:53,130
those Parademons to Earth
and not using them.
459
00:19:53,132 --> 00:19:55,112
See, I was doing it for
the wrong reasons and...
460
00:19:55,114 --> 00:19:58,681
You have proved yourself even
more formidable than I thought.
461
00:19:58,683 --> 00:20:01,207
- The deal stands.
- "The deal"?
462
00:20:01,209 --> 00:20:02,791
On your command...
463
00:20:02,793 --> 00:20:04,591
- [DEVICE BEEPS]
- ... my armies shall spring forth
464
00:20:04,593 --> 00:20:06,021
and enslave the planet.
465
00:20:06,023 --> 00:20:08,993
The Earth is yours, Harley Quinn.
466
00:20:10,993 --> 00:20:13,302
Thanks, but no thanks.
467
00:20:13,304 --> 00:20:15,331
Psycho, the creep that
he is, he was right.
468
00:20:15,333 --> 00:20:17,701
I don't wanna rule Earth
on a throne of skulls.
469
00:20:17,703 --> 00:20:19,541
I'm not a real supervillain.
470
00:20:19,543 --> 00:20:21,801
Hell, I'm not sure I'm
even a bad guy anymore.
471
00:20:21,803 --> 00:20:23,242
All I've been doing is reacting.
472
00:20:23,244 --> 00:20:25,781
Getting in the Legion
of Doom to show up Joker.
473
00:20:25,783 --> 00:20:27,741
Stopping the Injustice
League to get revenge.
474
00:20:27,743 --> 00:20:29,681
It's 'cause, deep inside,
475
00:20:29,683 --> 00:20:32,021
I didn't know what I
really wanted, until now.
476
00:20:32,023 --> 00:20:35,791
Your indecision baffles and angers me.
477
00:20:35,793 --> 00:20:37,791
For this, I shall return one day
478
00:20:37,793 --> 00:20:40,961
and terraform your
planet into a scrapyard.
479
00:20:40,963 --> 00:20:42,861
Well, that seems ominous.
480
00:20:42,863 --> 00:20:45,091
All right, pop back in your Boom Tube.
481
00:20:45,093 --> 00:20:47,061
Darkseid is...
482
00:20:47,063 --> 00:20:48,563
leaving.
483
00:20:50,603 --> 00:20:53,141
Ivy, you call me out on all my bullshit,
484
00:20:53,143 --> 00:20:54,542
but you don't judge me for it.
485
00:20:54,544 --> 00:20:56,401
We have fun whether
we're sitting on the couch
486
00:20:56,403 --> 00:20:58,511
or murdering a group
of investment bankers.
487
00:20:58,513 --> 00:21:01,081
You showed me what the best
version of myself could be
488
00:21:01,083 --> 00:21:02,751
and you held me to it.
489
00:21:02,753 --> 00:21:04,451
I'm in love with you.
490
00:21:04,453 --> 00:21:06,151
I want to be with you.
491
00:21:06,153 --> 00:21:09,421
And, yes, it might be messy.
It might not work.
492
00:21:09,423 --> 00:21:12,091
It might even destroy
our friendship forever.
493
00:21:12,093 --> 00:21:13,891
But love is a risk.
494
00:21:13,893 --> 00:21:15,251
I'd rather risk our friendship
495
00:21:15,253 --> 00:21:17,031
than pretend these feelings aren't real.
496
00:21:17,033 --> 00:21:18,761
You just, you don't give up on love.
497
00:21:18,763 --> 00:21:20,101
Take a risk,
498
00:21:20,103 --> 00:21:22,771
take a leap of faith, and be with me.
499
00:21:22,773 --> 00:21:24,131
[KITE MAN GROANS]
500
00:21:24,133 --> 00:21:26,171
Hey, did my kiss work?
501
00:21:26,173 --> 00:21:27,771
Where am I?
502
00:21:27,773 --> 00:21:30,511
[DR. PSYCHO LAUGHS MANIACALLY]
503
00:21:30,513 --> 00:21:33,011
We're laughing? Are we friends again?
504
00:21:33,013 --> 00:21:34,541
What is so funny?
505
00:21:34,543 --> 00:21:36,711
Aw, man, I hate missing inside jokes!
506
00:21:36,713 --> 00:21:38,611
Oh, don't worry,
507
00:21:38,613 --> 00:21:40,051
I'll tell you.
508
00:21:40,053 --> 00:21:41,383
[DR. PSYCHO SCREAMS]
509
00:21:44,053 --> 00:21:45,761
[LAUGHS MANIACALLY]
510
00:21:45,763 --> 00:21:47,393
[POISON IVY AND HARLEY MOANING]
511
00:21:49,593 --> 00:21:50,861
Whoa!
512
00:21:50,863 --> 00:21:53,101
Oh, this is gonna
affect the crew dynamic
513
00:21:53,103 --> 00:21:56,431
in a messy and complicated manner.
514
00:21:56,433 --> 00:22:00,473
I already had a feeling.
The tension was palpable.
515
00:22:02,043 --> 00:22:04,543
[LAUGHS] She's still limber.
516
00:22:07,113 --> 00:22:09,611
[DR. PSYCHO GRUNTING]
517
00:22:09,613 --> 00:22:11,181
Ooh! I need a cigarette.
518
00:22:11,183 --> 00:22:12,383
[GROANS]
519
00:22:17,793 --> 00:22:18,793
Um...
520
00:22:22,599 --> 00:22:25,599
- Synced and corrected by Firefly -
- www.addic7ed.com -
37053
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