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1
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Aah!
2
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Hi, Jade.
3
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(Gasping) Jackie.
4
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Don't sneak up on me like that.
5
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Oh, I was sneaking up on you?
6
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You're supposed to be back at the hotel.
7
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Sure, limit my exposure to other cultures.
8
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Stifle my educational potential.
9
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Jade, I'm only trying to stifle your potential to be harmed.
10
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What if the dark hand were here, too,
11
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looking for the snake talisman?
12
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Did you find it?
13
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Ah, not yet.
14
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You'd think it were invisible.
15
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Oh! The dark hand!
16
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Stay here.
17
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I thought you meant here with you.
18
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Welcome to another episode of just the artifacts.
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Your passage to the thrilling world of archaeology.
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I am your guide, Wesley rank.
21
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And today, I have braved the treacherous anaconda falls
22
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to bring you to a secret site--
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the legendary lost temple of culebra gigante,
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a monstrous serpent,
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said to be thousands of years old.
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And look!
27
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This ancient chalk drawing
28
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clearly indicates that a snake cult
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once worshipped their fearsome idol,
30
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right here on this very spot.
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Tsk. Not much of a temple, is it?
32
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And as for culebra itself, well--(Laughs)
33
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No big snakes around here.
34
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What a goofball!
35
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Jackie, why don't you get in front of the camera
36
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and tell him a thing or two?
37
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Jade, I don't want to be on TV.
38
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We are on a top-secret mission.
39
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No one must know what we're looking for.
40
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You there!
41
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Can't you see we're filming?
42
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Who are you two?
43
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Uh, we're, um--
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archeologists.
45
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Stop that! I mean cut! Cut!
46
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Edit them out.
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Camera hog.
48
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This is my dig. There's nothing here for you. Go away.
49
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What are you looking for anyway?
50
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Uh...The exit. Bye-bye.
51
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Chan...
52
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We really have to stop using the same travel agent.
53
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The dark hand!
54
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More archaeologists?
55
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Quite the popular "secret" site.
56
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The talisman.
57
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I don't know what you're talking about. Ohh!
58
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Talisman?
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The snake talisman.
60
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(Grunts)
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Hyah!
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Aaii!
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Oww! Ohh!
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Whoa.
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Wow! He's an archeologist?
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Jackie's totally ready to host his own show--
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educational, but with an action/adventure slant.
68
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We're thinking of calling it Jackie chan can.
69
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I'm the plucky cohost.
70
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Aw, cut! Cut!
71
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Edit that out, too.
72
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Tch. Rank is totally rank.
73
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Whoa...The snake talisman!
74
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Hmm...
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Talisman.
76
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Whoaa!
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Twofer. Jackie, look!
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Busy, Jade.
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Sorry. Camera loves him.
80
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I want another shot of that.
81
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Get in tight.
82
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Down!
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Aah! - Aah!
84
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(Gasping)
85
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Ratso?
86
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Ratso. Ratso!
87
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Heh heh. Did you see all the fishies?
88
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Ow! - Ow! - Ow!
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Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow!
90
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Piranha! Piranha!
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(Grunts)
92
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Come on. The snake talisman was part of the drawing.
93
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Right over...
94
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Here?
95
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Oh, it's gone!
96
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Destroyed!
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The dark hand? No.
98
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They were too preoccupied.
99
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Then who?
100
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And thus just the artifacts has the exclusive scoop
101
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on this infamous snake talisman, whatever that is.
102
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You do think everyone was fighting
103
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over the chalk drawing, don't you?
104
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Uh, maybe we should ask an archeologist.
105
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I am - an a rcheologist.
106
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Oh, right. Destroying 4,000-year-old drawings, yeah.
107
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That's what archaeologists do.
108
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Pipe down, you.
109
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Oh...
110
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(Cell phone rings) Hello?
111
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Jackie, did you find the snake talisman?
112
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No, uncle.
113
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There was only a big empty cave
114
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with a drawing of the snake talisman.
115
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And a ton of bats.
116
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Wha? You are not supposed to be in a cave of bats.
117
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You are supposed to be in the temple of snakes,
118
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guarded by one very big snake.
119
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Well, there was no big snake and no temple.
120
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And now there is no drawing.
121
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Well, we can always see it on rank's show.
122
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Or we can find rank now and get a sneak preview.
123
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Uh, no big v. - We haven't spotted chan yet.
124
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In fact, we're still at the airport.
125
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A mix-up with the bags.
126
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Yeah, I told tohru we should just do carry on, but, hey, whatcha gonna do?
127
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Yoop!
128
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(Gasping) Hang on.
129
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T-monster wants ya.
130
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Rest assured, master. We will find your talisman.
131
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And I will break Jackie chan.
132
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Time to tuck you in.
133
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(Snoring)
134
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We're in the middle of nowhere.
135
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What are we going to view it on?
136
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Tch. They do a TV show.
137
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Bwaa!
138
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Chirp chirp. Chirp chirp.
139
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Chirp chirp. Chirp chirp.
140
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Heh. Sorry.
141
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Here you go. The talisman. See?
142
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Yes. But what does it mean?
143
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Aw, crikey!
144
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Sorry we didn't rewind. Thank you.
145
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I had the weirdest dream--
146
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a bird that chirp like a car alarm.
147
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That was no dream. That was thieves!
148
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Dahh--ahh...My tape.
149
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Wait, they went to all this trouble, and didn't take it.
150
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Perhaps there's more to this drawing than the drawing itself.
151
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Ooh, that's deep.
152
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Zip it, you.
153
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Why does the snake bite its own tail?
154
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Maybe it can't see what it's eating
155
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because it's got a talisman stuck in its eye.
156
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The snake biting its tail symbolizes the circle of life.
157
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The end is in the beginning!
158
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The drawing was a map, telling us
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that the talisman is at the cave where we began.
160
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In the eye of the snake?
161
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Could be dangerous.
162
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You're going back to the hotel.
163
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Oh...
164
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Hi, Jackie.
165
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Jade, stop following me.
166
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I got here first. Technically, you followed me.
167
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(Sighs)
168
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Don't bother. I checked everything.
169
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No sign of a temple or a talisman.
170
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Whoa. Score one for the jackster.
171
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The temple of culebra gigante.
172
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Right under our noses.
173
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More like right above our heads.
174
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Snake eye.
175
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See Jackie? Nothing to worry about.
176
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The snake's not even real.
177
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Wait here.
178
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Yeah, yeah.
179
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(Grunting)
180
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(Sighs) Huh?
181
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A snake!
182
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Ahh! Ah!
183
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Jackie, they're all snakes!
184
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Bad snake, bad snake, bad snake. Yaa.
185
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Uhh!
186
00:11:24,016 --> 00:11:25,183
Uhh. Ahh...
187
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(Sighs)
188
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Jackie, you scaled it!
189
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Er, so to speak.
190
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(Grunts)
191
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Oh! Ohh!
192
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I got it. I got it!
193
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How wrong you are, little lady.
194
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Eh, you there, camera guy.
195
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Roll film, quickly.
196
00:11:51,777 --> 00:11:53,845
Welcome, I'm Wesley rank,
197
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and you're watching just the artifacts
198
00:11:56,416 --> 00:12:00,919
at the legendary once lost temple of culebra gigante.
199
00:12:00,921 --> 00:12:04,289
I have just braved a treacherous climb
200
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to the temple's harrowing heights to bring you this...
201
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The snake talisman.
202
00:12:10,363 --> 00:12:12,964
Liar! Liar! Liar!
203
00:12:13,532 --> 00:12:15,500
Ow! That hurt!
204
00:12:16,335 --> 00:12:17,836
Edit that out.
205
00:12:19,205 --> 00:12:22,307
Where did this mysterious talisman come from?
206
00:12:22,309 --> 00:12:24,042
Why was it here?
207
00:12:24,044 --> 00:12:26,411
And what is that awful racket?
208
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Aah! Aah! - Aah!
209
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Jade!
210
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Aah! Aah! - Aah!
211
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Yaaa!
212
00:12:51,771 --> 00:12:53,004
Everything all right?
213
00:12:53,006 --> 00:12:54,205
Maybe a sprain.
214
00:12:54,207 --> 00:12:55,740
I meant the camera!
215
00:12:55,742 --> 00:12:57,208
Now, point it at that exit.
216
00:12:57,210 --> 00:12:58,743
Let's wrap this up.
217
00:13:02,948 --> 00:13:05,150
Ohh! Uh...
218
00:13:05,551 --> 00:13:06,718
Ohh...
219
00:13:06,720 --> 00:13:08,653
Jackie, are you ok?
220
00:13:08,655 --> 00:13:09,988
Oh, I will be
221
00:13:09,990 --> 00:13:12,423
after a week in traction.
222
00:13:12,425 --> 00:13:16,427
And with this phenomenal find firmly in hand,
223
00:13:16,429 --> 00:13:19,731
this is Wesley rank bidding you farewell
224
00:13:19,733 --> 00:13:22,433
till next time on just the artifacts.
225
00:13:25,838 --> 00:13:27,639
Daah! Aah! Aah! Aah!
226
00:13:30,176 --> 00:13:32,210
Let me guess. Edit that out?
227
00:13:37,950 --> 00:13:40,351
Seor gigante, I presume?
228
00:13:48,594 --> 00:13:49,928
Oh! Why's he looking at me?
229
00:13:49,930 --> 00:13:51,596
Because it is the guardian of the temple,
230
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and you have the talisman.
231
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Yaaa!
232
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I don't want it.
233
00:14:01,273 --> 00:14:02,440
Here!
234
00:14:27,766 --> 00:14:29,567
Careful, Jackie. It's thropwing a hissy!
235
00:14:35,441 --> 00:14:37,709
I get it. It can't bite us up here.
236
00:14:40,746 --> 00:14:42,380
It can't bite you up there!
237
00:14:43,182 --> 00:14:44,349
Whoaa!
238
00:14:44,351 --> 00:14:46,251
Uhh! Oh! Oh!
239
00:14:46,719 --> 00:14:47,986
Ohh...
240
00:14:52,491 --> 00:14:53,858
Jackie! Use the talisman!
241
00:14:53,860 --> 00:14:56,828
We don't know what power it has, too dangerous.
242
00:14:56,830 --> 00:14:59,097
Tch, like jumbo the snake's not?
243
00:15:09,141 --> 00:15:11,142
Crikey! I didn't tell you to film that!
244
00:15:11,144 --> 00:15:13,044
Hello... I'm blinding it.
245
00:15:13,046 --> 00:15:14,545
Snakes don't have eyelids.
246
00:15:16,148 --> 00:15:17,815
Aaah!
247
00:15:17,817 --> 00:15:19,017
Jackie, climb up!
248
00:15:19,019 --> 00:15:20,451
Me first. Me first.
249
00:15:20,453 --> 00:15:21,552
You next.
250
00:15:21,554 --> 00:15:22,687
Doesn't want me, man.
251
00:15:27,793 --> 00:15:29,527
Hyah!
252
00:15:29,529 --> 00:15:30,662
Uhh!
253
00:15:31,897 --> 00:15:33,164
Throw me the vine.
254
00:15:33,166 --> 00:15:34,565
Throw me the talisman.
255
00:15:40,172 --> 00:15:41,406
Thank you.
256
00:15:41,408 --> 00:15:42,473
The vine!
257
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Nice guy.
258
00:15:46,679 --> 00:15:47,979
(Growls)
259
00:15:51,016 --> 00:15:52,150
Come on! Come on!
260
00:15:54,486 --> 00:15:56,754
The network's gonna love this.
261
00:16:04,263 --> 00:16:05,396
Aah!
262
00:16:06,198 --> 00:16:09,667
(Nervous mumbling)
263
00:16:12,771 --> 00:16:13,838
(Panting)
264
00:16:13,840 --> 00:16:16,407
Sleazo took off with the talisman.
265
00:16:16,409 --> 00:16:19,077
(Humming) Get out of here, on my way--
266
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the talisman.
267
00:16:30,522 --> 00:16:31,956
Yaa! - Yaa! Yaa!
268
00:16:39,264 --> 00:16:41,366
No sign of the flying monkeys.
269
00:16:41,368 --> 00:16:43,034
Rats with wings.
270
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I'll take the bats.
271
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(Grunting)
272
00:17:04,957 --> 00:17:06,991
Heh. It's all yours, mate.
273
00:17:14,466 --> 00:17:15,767
Uh-oh.
274
00:17:18,404 --> 00:17:19,771
Aah!
275
00:17:19,773 --> 00:17:21,205
Oh...
276
00:17:21,207 --> 00:17:22,673
Uh-oh. - Uh-oh.
277
00:17:26,845 --> 00:17:29,414
Jade! Go! Go! Go!
278
00:17:31,817 --> 00:17:33,284
Ooff! - Oof!
279
00:17:35,387 --> 00:17:36,687
Why are you still here?
280
00:17:36,689 --> 00:17:38,956
Uh, camera guy was right. I'm a jerk.
281
00:17:38,958 --> 00:17:40,825
I couldn't leave without apologizing--
282
00:17:40,827 --> 00:17:42,093
not now!
283
00:17:42,095 --> 00:17:43,227
Run!
284
00:17:44,596 --> 00:17:46,264
Aaaah!
285
00:17:50,302 --> 00:17:52,070
Aah! Aah! - Aah!
286
00:17:55,774 --> 00:17:56,941
Oh-ohh...
287
00:17:56,943 --> 00:17:58,743
Gotcha. - Aah!
288
00:17:58,745 --> 00:18:00,378
Aah! Aah! - Aah!
289
00:18:00,380 --> 00:18:01,779
Waaah!
290
00:18:07,853 --> 00:18:10,221
(Coughing)
291
00:18:10,223 --> 00:18:12,523
Waaah!
292
00:18:12,525 --> 00:18:13,858
Incoming!
293
00:18:17,930 --> 00:18:20,331
Belly flop!
294
00:18:21,300 --> 00:18:23,835
Ow! Ow! Piranha!
295
00:18:27,940 --> 00:18:30,174
Oh. I hate piranha. Ow. Ow.
296
00:18:30,843 --> 00:18:33,578
(Sighs) Adios, culebra.
297
00:18:33,580 --> 00:18:38,116
The only snake I ever want to see after this is the snake talisman.
298
00:18:38,118 --> 00:18:40,284
Huh? It's gone!
299
00:18:49,094 --> 00:18:50,528
Rank.
300
00:18:50,530 --> 00:18:52,063
What a snake!
301
00:18:58,337 --> 00:19:00,538
Welcome. I'm Wesley rank,
302
00:19:00,540 --> 00:19:03,207
and you're watching just the artifacts
303
00:19:03,209 --> 00:19:07,445
at the legendary once lost temple of culebra gigante.
304
00:19:07,447 --> 00:19:10,781
I have just braved a treacherous climb
305
00:19:10,783 --> 00:19:14,952
to the temple's harrowing heights to bring you this...
306
00:19:14,954 --> 00:19:16,754
The snake talisman.
307
00:19:18,157 --> 00:19:19,457
I'm on TV!
308
00:19:19,459 --> 00:19:20,758
Rank didn't edit that out?
309
00:19:20,760 --> 00:19:22,660
Liar! Liar! Liar!
310
00:19:22,662 --> 00:19:24,328
Ow! That hurt.
311
00:19:25,364 --> 00:19:27,899
Aah! Aah! Aah! (Sobbing)
312
00:19:27,901 --> 00:19:32,537
Welcome to a special edition of just the artifacts.
313
00:19:32,539 --> 00:19:35,339
Wesley rank may not know how to treat little girls,
314
00:19:35,341 --> 00:19:37,675
but he sure knows how to scream like one.
315
00:19:37,677 --> 00:19:40,278
Ha ha ha ha. I'm dino stefanson,
316
00:19:40,280 --> 00:19:42,046
and I'll be your new guide.
317
00:19:43,015 --> 00:19:44,215
Go, camera guy.
318
00:19:44,217 --> 00:19:45,583
Look!
319
00:19:45,585 --> 00:19:47,185
You'll also get the full scoop
320
00:19:47,187 --> 00:19:49,854
on how we recovered this rare snake talisman
321
00:19:49,856 --> 00:19:52,723
from a local pawn shop rank sold it to.
322
00:19:52,725 --> 00:19:55,760
We, of course, donated the artifact to the New York museum.
323
00:19:57,196 --> 00:19:59,564
(Sigh) After what we've been through,
324
00:19:59,566 --> 00:20:02,900
getting the talisman from the museum should be a snap.
325
00:20:02,902 --> 00:20:04,335
We're off to the jungle.
326
00:20:06,939 --> 00:20:09,907
New York, the concrete jungle. Duh.
327
00:20:14,613 --> 00:20:16,347
Man: Hey, Jackie. - Yes.
328
00:20:16,349 --> 00:20:19,016
Have you ever worked with any dangerous animals?
329
00:20:19,018 --> 00:20:21,219
Lion. Lion. Yes. In Africa.
330
00:20:21,221 --> 00:20:23,354
Small--small lion.
331
00:20:23,356 --> 00:20:25,089
I picked up the lion, hi, hi, hi.
332
00:20:25,091 --> 00:20:28,826
But the native, the small-- the native, aah! Aah! Aah!
333
00:20:28,828 --> 00:20:30,394
I said, what? What?
334
00:20:30,396 --> 00:20:32,797
But the mom come behind me.
335
00:20:32,799 --> 00:20:35,633
Then I run, climb up to the tree.
336
00:20:35,635 --> 00:20:37,568
The lion, grr, grr, grr!
337
00:20:37,570 --> 00:20:39,804
Almost touch my feet.
338
00:20:39,806 --> 00:20:44,141
Remember, lion can climb up to the tree.
21831
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