Original subtitles

Hi, I'm Jane McDonald.

Did someone mention cruise?

I caught the cruising bug more than 20 years ago

when I was working as a singer on a ship.

See, when I were on the ships, I had no window.

I used to have to put the television on to see what type of day it was.

It's not just us Brits who are crazy about cruising,

last year 25.8 million holiday-makers worldwide

choose to cruise.

There's a cruise for everyone.

There's quiet cruises, there's party cruises,

there's island cruises, there's river cruises

and I'm just going to carry on cruising till I've found you

your perfect cruise. Try stopping me.

There's a cocktail bar over there.

This time I've booked myself on four very different ships

to give you an idea of just how individual every cruise can be.

All these adventures to have all with you.

There's a romantic, leisurely river cruise

through the stunning French countryside from Lyon

and down the Rhone to Arles.

And I get to see it all from the air, as well.

It's breathtaking.

Who could resist seven days of city-hopping sun and fun

in the Med, on the world's most cutting-edge cruise ship?

Not me.

It's not a bad life, this, is it?

Or there's my island adventure in Cuba.

Rum, sun, cigars, music, fiestas and a Caribbean island like no other.

I'm in Paradise.

I like big ships, small ships, thin ships, fat ships,

French ships, relationships.

I like all ships!

Now I'm off to waters unknown.

I'm treating myself to some cool Scandi style in the Baltic

on this beauty, the Viking Sky.

Welcome to my yacht.

It's dead posh.

It's full of surprises.

All the cabins have a balcony, and I do mean all of them.

Hello!

And there's even real art everywhere.

It does look like Susan Boyle, doesn't it?

It's like being on a private yacht.

An Abramowitz-sized one.

Cheers. Cheers.

Hej and velkommen til Kobenhavn.

Which means ey up, we're in Copenhagen.

And this is where my Baltic adventure begins.

It's the capital of Denmark and I haven't been here

for about 15 years. Well, more like 20, actually.

Its most famous landmarks are the Tivoli Gardens.

This is them.

Hans Christian Andersen's house.

This is it. And the Little Mermaid.

There she is.

The Little Mermaid in Danish is Lille Havfrue.

You see, you're impressed now, aren't you?

So you should be.

Can you actually speak Danish?

Well, my husband were Danish so I had to say a few things

like Jeg elsker dig, which means I love you.

But I've stopped having foreign boyfriends now.

I'm just sticking to English.

They live in the same country so it's a bit cheaper.

In an homage to Scandi-noir,

today I'm wearing Denmark's most famous jumper.

I bet they all think I'm from The Killing.

Got the right jumper on.

May I take a photo with you? Of course. Thank you.

Nice to meet you. Nice to meet you too.

You movie star, or...?

Oh, yeah, big movie star.

Brilliant! I'm not.

Have a nice day.

You too. Bye-bye.

Bye. Thanks so much.

Wonderful.

I think she thought I was that Sofie Grabol from The Killing.

Which, of course, I'm not.

I don't need to be a detective to tell you

I've sniffed out another Danish icon.

A hot dog stand.

Come to Denmark, you have got to have one of their hot dogs

because they are the best ever.

Hi. Hi.

Could I have the bestseller?

The Fransk hot dog?

What's the difference?

The size. Oh, the size.

Of course. Sometimes size doesn't matter.

The small one.

A Danish hot dog is like no other.

Yes, it's just a sausage in a bun but it's got a remoulade sauce.

Sounds posh but it's just mayonnaise,

mustard and pickled cucumber.

I'm going to let you have a taste in a minute.

You can't have a taste because you can't get through

the telly, but you can have the taste and it's really, really nice.

Tusind tak. That's a sausage with a message.

That sausage is saying, eat me.

Where are you from? Are you from Denmark?

Yes. So you are getting married?

Of course you are.

This is fantastic!

THEY CHEER

Oh, well, good luck.

Bye.

Oh, bless them.

Oh, I hope she's as happy as we all thought we were going to be.

And here she is.

My home for the next week.

If she were a movie star, she'd be Scarlett Johansson.

That's how gorgeous she is.

Look at that.

Do you know, every time you turn up to a cruise ship,

it takes your breath away.

You just get excited.

I've got that excited feeling again in my stomach

thinking I'm going to be on there for seven whole days.

Hi. Are you enjoying yourself?

This ship is wonderful!

Yay. What's your name?

Patrick.

You, Patrick, me, Jane.

HE IMITATES TARZAN'S YELL

It's going to be fun already. I've only just come up to the ship.

There's people shouting at us.

Isn't it wonderful? Come on.

She's got 900 passengers on board and I'm the last to join,

so now it's 901.

We're setting off to Copenhagen,

sailing through the land of the Vikings and across the Baltic

to Tallinn in Estonia. Next, into Russia and St Petersburg.

From there, back into the Baltic and Helsinki, capital of Finland,

and then off to Scandinavia and Stockholm.

Mamma mia, I'll need a lie down after all that.

Right.

Ah. Hello. Hello.

Welcome aboard. Thank you very much.

This is only Viking Sky's fifth cruise

and everything inside is box fresh and brand-new.

Oh, wow.

Have a look at this. Come here.

Look at these pictures and everything.

I don't think I've ever, ever seen a ship like this, ever.

So classy.

This is the most exciting bit

because I'm going to see where my room is.

Come on, come in.

It's like a millionaire's house, isn't it?

This is what you see on the telly in Grand Designs and stuff like that.

This is beautiful.

Jane, welcome to your room.

Thank you.

Oh, my goodness me!

It's bigger than my house.

Look at this. I've got a sofa.

Oh, my God! I've got a suite.

Oh, I've got an iPad for this.

Look at this. Day dim.

This is sheer and utter luxury.

There's like big tellies everywhere.

I love a bathroom.

I've got a sauna.

Look at this!

You can sit there in the nuddy and nobody can see you.

Mind you, I'm in the owner's suite.

The owner's suite!

I hope he doesn't want to come on.

Oh, wow.

Well, if this is what having money is all about, I want some,

because this is just a different world.

I've just found out the word Viking means to travel on water.

Well, these guys have nailed it and I'm Viking round the Baltic.

Lucky me.

Oh!

Look! Oh, you will not see me for the rest of the cruise now.

I would like to say,

cheers, welcome aboard.

Coming up, I have a Disney Princess moment in Tallinn...

It's lovely. Feels like I'm in Beauty And The Beast.

..and I get to brush up my language skills.

How do you say, "Here, pussy, pussy."

Kss-kss-kss. Kss-kss-kss.

It's Russian for calling a cat.

I'm living the dream on my first Baltic cruise.

We're at sea all day today and there's loads of nothing to do.

Heaven.

Hello.

It's the time for the camera on the stick.

I'm going for a wander because I find it a lot easier

just having this than that lot. All right?

I'm off.

Hi. Hello.

This is lovely.

It's not like a ship.

It's like a very posh hotel.

It's beautifully architected.

Is that a word? Architected?

It's been beautifully...designed.

We'll use that.

Can you believe that I'm in the Baltics?

I think we must be doing something right because every time we go

on a ship, we get beautiful weather.

Oh, wow!

This is a bit fab, isn't it?

Hello, welcome to my yacht.

Something I've noticed is everywhere you look, you can see the sea.

Don't laugh.

Some ships I've been on,

you need a telescope to get a glimpse of a wave anywhere.

Not this one.

Right, there's something I need to do.

Hi-ho! Oh!

What are you doing here? I've got no make-up on or anything.

Hang on a minute. I need to find the launderette.

Laundrette.

Yes, that's right. I did say launderette.

Hello.

It's what sea days are for.

Relaxing and washing your smalls.

So how do we use these, then?

Ah, well, the directions are not easy to follow.

OK. Oh, no! They are written by some engineer, not by a woman.

So, preparing laundry. Load laundry.

Close the door. Choose the programme.

Choose the temperature. Choose the spin speed.

Choose... Flipping Nora.

Dee, can you give me a lesson?

I could give you a wonderful lesson.

It's nice to just come down and be normal and everybody is normal,

aren't they? We all do our own washing.

Now I was on a world cruise.

There was a woman and she used to put out of order on a dryer.

Yeah!

This lady always had a washer and always had a dryer

because she used to just come in and...

I know where the out of order sign is.

Do you? I'm not telling you.

It can get actually quite heated when you can't get a washer

and somebody comes in and just whips it, which happens quite a lot.

Et voila.

Oh, my God!

Well, you all know the secret now.

Right, Dee. Oh, she's put some more in.

Right, I need the out of order sign.

Get the sign up. Need to get the sign.

I need to do what that lady did and get that sign out.

I've missed my slot. I'm so sorry.

Up here, we're 1,000 miles north-east of Wakefield

and let me tell you, the sunsets alone are worth the trip.

I mean, this isn't even one of the special ones, but look at that.

And if that's not enough,

the launderette is empty and I can dry my smalls.

Magic.

We've crossed the Baltic on our way to Tallinn, capital of Estonia.

It sounds like my kind of place.

It's hosted Eurovision and at its heart is a fairy tale medieval town.

What's not to love?

This is a destination cruise where you go to all these amazing places

where it's all laid on for you,

which is really good because that's all-inclusive in the price.

So you can have a look

and pick something that you really think,

oh, I wouldn't mind doing that.

Instead of taking a chance where you're paying for it,

you would take a chance when you're not.

Is that just me being tight?

But it's probably true of most people

because we don't like wasting money, do we?

Now don't faint but I'm going to give you some facts and figures.

440,000 people live in Tallinn.

But last year 4,252,828 tourists dropped in, just like me.

Looks like they're all here now, if I'm honest.

We were just going to go off and have a wander.

Of course. Do you recommend anywhere that we should see?

Yes, of course. The view platform, I think it's a must,

because there you can see the whole view of the town.

And that's up there, is it?

That way and then right?

What a beautiful day.

I'm in Estonia,

I've ditched the crew.

It's just me and you.

So, I've been told to...

..come up here and see this...

..amazing view.

Get ready to be amazed.

Is that it?

I mean,

no disrespect but...

..looks like Wakefield.

Do you think that's pretty?

Yes. I live here.

It's a nice view.

It's an old part of town from the first Estonian Republic.

It's not doing it for me. I'd like a better view than that.

OK. Is that all right?

Let's go to old part of town.

Old part? Oh, are you coming with me?

Yeah. What's your name?

Sergei. Sergei?

Yes. I'm Jane, very pleased to meet you.

I'm now going down the ginnel with a strange man I've just picked up

in Estonia.

Sergei?

Oh, now he's on his phone, but this looks more like it.

It's lovely. Feels like I'm in Beauty And The Beast.

Hang on a minute. I recognise him.

Are you Patrick?

HE IMITATES TARZAN'S YELL

Hello.

I couldn't resist you when you said, "I'm Jane!"

Oh, that is so good.

How are you? I'm great.

Nice to meet you in the flesh, finally.

Have a great day. Lovely to meet you.

Bye, Jane. Bye!

I've found my Patrick.

Such a sweet man.

All that walking and talking has made me a bit peckish

and I know just what I want and where to get it.

So this is the highlight of most cruises.

It's called afternoon tea.

Hi. Hi. Hello. How are you? Come and sit with us.

Can I? Yes. Thank you so much.

I'll be on my way. Right, I'm on my way.

See, a stranger is a friend you just haven't met yet.

Hi, Jane, lovely to see you.

This is Terry and Stewart.

Hi, Terry. Really nice to meet you. Stewart.

And it's full, apparently.

The ship is full but there's never anybody about.

There's no lines except for at the gelato bar.

Oh, the gelato bar.

That's about six deep.

I'd better not go anywhere near that.

I think they're going to have to get a hoist or a crane to get me off.

Terry might have to dash off due to the fact

that she's waiting for a machine in the laundry.

We were just talking about that yesterday and she says,

"I will have to leave afternoon tea to get the laundry."

You put it on a timer and then you've got to go get it

or it may be gone.

I'll see you. Thank you.

Thank you, enjoy your tea. Thank you very much!

It's full steam ahead and we leave Estonia and sail to St Petersburg

and Russia with love.

I'm in Russia!

I'm very excited because I've never been here.

It's something...

Look, I nearly walked through the window them.

It's quite cold. It's quite nippy

but the Russians are made of hard stuff.

I bet she hasn't got a vest on or anything.

St Petersburg used to be Leningrad.

Well, it was always St Petersburg, then it was Leningrad.

Now it's St Petersburg again.

Got that? Good.

It's home to the Hermitage.

Hermitage? Anyway, it's a big museum.

It's probably the most famous building in St Petersburg.

Supposed to know something about it but as usual, I know nothing,

so I looked it up and it says the Hermitage is huge.

It has 1,057 rooms, 117 staircases...

Morning.

Ey up!

I just want to go and punch their lights out.

And they say to get around all the exhibits in the Hermitage,

you will need to spend 11 years of your life

and walk 22km.

I can't stay that long. The ship goes tomorrow!

If I'm honest, culture isn't really my thing.

Cats, however, now you're talking.

I'm heading for the cellars.

No, not for the wine.

Just you wait.

I've just been told that in every metal door,

there's a cat flap,

and this sign says,

"It's cold, can you please close the door

"to keep everybody warm, and cats."

I might have just made a few words up there

but that's basically what that poster says.

I love the fact that there's a cat flap in every single door.

It must be freezing.

Right, in we go.

Cats have lived at the Hermitage since 1745

when Empress Elizabeth decreed that they live in the cellars.

They protected the artworks from mice and rats.

The paintings are long gone but the cats are still here

and even have their own PR lady.

Of course, it doesn't look very attractive but...

It's the cat's bed, isn't it?

To be quite honest, Maria, my bed looks similar.

Be careful.

Danger, cats.

Are they dangerous, cats? No, it's for...drivers.

And this is our private and modest cat's house.

Upstairs and outside, it's all glitzy and gold.

Down here, where the pussy posse hang out,

things are a bit more down-home.

How do you say, "Here, pussy, pussy?"

Kss-kss-kss.

Kss-kss-kss. That's in Russian, is it?

It's K...K and S.

It's Russian for calling a cat. Kss-kss-kss.

Oh, look at you.

I have got a connection with cats

because I was in Cats in Blackpool

and I'm sure there's an old Griz down here somewhere.

There'll be a Grizabella somewhere. Look at this one!

He's such a flirt.

You are such a flirt, you are.

That's Rum Tum Tugger without a doubt.

Sometimes this looks like something between a house

for the homeless children and house for old people.

Yes.

Oh...

You see? The dark.

Oh, my goodness me.

Look at that.

Wow! It's like Nadia.

You just come out of a wardrobe into something like this.

It's like a different country.

I reckon it's a bit like Narnia.

I meant that! It's like Narnia.

You come out of something which is really dim and dark

and then whoosh - opulence.

Wow. Look at that.

So lovely. Thank you.

Thank you. Lovely to meet you.

You too. Hope to see you soon.

I hope so. Bye.

Everything here is monumental.

The scale is just, well, off the scale.

There's gold everywhere on the buildings

but the most in-your-face thing I've seen is this,

the Church of the Spilled Blood.

It's like a cross between a church and a cake.

It's unbelievable. Look at that.

I would never have come to Russia in a million years

because of my perception of it

and I would have missed this unbelievable beauty.

And I've got to an age now where I don't want to sit

at a pool and drink a pina colada every day.

I want to get out and see a bit of the world.

That's just what I think, personally, anyway.

I could be wrong. You might still want to sit and have a pina colada

at a pool all day.

Don't blame you.

Actually, I want to do that as well.

Coming up, I go underground Soviet style.

I can't believe this is the tube.

And there's an awkward moment with a Russian doll.

Oh!

That was not me.

KNOCKING ON DOOR

What's all the racket?

Good morning.

How are we? How are you?

Oh, I'm just in heaven.

We're still in St Petersburg and there's a lot to do

but I'm not budging until I've had my breakfast.

How do you think your diet is going to go on the ship?

My diet? It's gone through the roof, hasn't it?

You can diet all year, but when you come on a cruise, chill out, man.

Special occasions like cruising, Christmas, birthdays, Easter,

any holiday, really!

Life is too short to be forever on a diet.

I'm having a waffle.

Thank you so very much.

How beautifully served is that?

It's like a piece of art.

I don't even want to eat it.

I am lying. I really want to eat it!

So how do you normally have waffles?

These are nice and thin. I like them because they are thin.

Yeah. Half the guilt. Half the guilt!

Yesterday I followed the tourist trail

but today I'm exploring a different sort of St Petersburg,

the one the St Petersburgers know, and first off,

I'm going underground.

Oh, blimey.

This is a bit posh for a tube.

Looks like Caesar's Palace.

What do I do? Get a ticket?

Insert your card.

No? Oh, that's a bank.

I think that's a cash machine. Yeah, it is.

In Soviet Russia, even the Metro was used as propaganda.

Yes, it was mass transport for the masses

but why shouldn't stations be like the palaces above ground?

Here, there are wide, sweeping staircases,

marble and grandeur everywhere.

It's like John Lewis's.

I can't believe this is the tube!

I mean, look at this.

There's more chandeliers than in Liberace's living room

and that's saying something.

You've got crystal columns on the tube station!

Only in Russia.

Every day, more than 2.5 million St Petersburgers use the Metro

and all journeys cost less than 65p.

The stations may be different

but travelling underground is much the same as anywhere else.

People don't talk much on the tube in England either.

Even the escalator's the poshest I've ever seen.

But now I'm after something more Russian than caviar

and easy to keep on my mantelpiece.

Look at this!

Oh, my goodness me!

I want to show you the biggest matryoshka doll we have.

The biggest one. What is the story behind a Russian doll, then?

Why are they so popular?

Because of the symbol of family.

You can see the inside, there.

30 pieces inside. 30? 30, yeah.

Whoa, that's a big family.

Yes. You can see only the woman's face, being the mother.

The most... Important.

..important in the family.

Is that what you think in Russia, that women are the most important?

Yes, yes. I like that.

How much is that?

This is 400,000 rubles.

400,000 rubles?

How much is that in pounds?

5,600...

5,628 quid for a doll! Yeah.

Or 30 of them.

These dolls are all hand-painted and each tells a different story.

High-end matryoshkas are prized by collectors,

including sentimental oligarchs who have been known to commission dolls

studded with jewels that cost millions of dollars.

These are really a bit of a bargain.

You can see why they are worth such a lot of money.

It's still a lot of money for a doll.

So, on the inside...

Oh!

Oh! That was not me. That was not me.

It's me, it's me, it's me.

I'm honestly not sure about these dolls.

I love a knick-knack like anyone else,

but these are halfway between knick-knack and art,

and you know me and art.

Celebrity dolls, now you're talking!

Wow. Presidents.

Oh!

That looks like me!

That actually looks like me.

Anthony, could you let me have a look at this one?

That's definitely me.

Oh, my God. All of a sudden, I really like these.

Oh! Oh, these are fabulous.

Look, I've got my own Russian doll.

Matryoshka. Matryoshka McDonald.

How on earth did this happen?

HE SPEAKS IN RUSSIAN

How did this happen?

Did you know?

It's you. It's me!

This is wonderful.

HE SPEAKS IN RUSSIAN

I'm surprised.

I'm surprised, yeah.

My hair was a lot lighter.

Obviously, I'm much younger.

You are beautiful in the natural than the matryoshka.

Did you hear that? You got that on camera that he says

I'm much more beautiful in the flesh.

It's all I'm going to say.

I think I need a hug. Thank you so much.

Oh, I love my job.

I know when to quit and nothing is going to top my matryoshka moment.

So I think it's time to say proshchay, St Petersburg!

That's Russian for arrivederci.

Viewers of a nervous disposition, look away now.

Actually, that's not a look for camera, is it?

That's not a look for the viewers to see me in.

They're used to seeing me looking glamorous.

Look, these need to be here because these lovely rollers

that we heat up in this, it's like a microwave for rollers

and they are absolutely brilliant

but they burn my lugs, so I've got to put these in.

It's a look, isn't it?

I mean this is all my secrets going now, my heated rollers.

They must know this isn't natural.

It's not natural.

No.

I've been invited to Sandra and Robert's

for a glass of champagne, but there's only two champagne glasses

in their cabin, so you've got to bring your own glass.

Rob. Yes. Thank you so much.

Nice to see you. You are very welcome.

I love this room. Welcome to our cabin.

It's gorgeous, isn't it?

It is. Oh, it's so tidy.

Ready to go.

THEY TALK INDISTINCTLY

Can I just go for the lobster, please?

ALL: Cheers.

From St Petersburg, it's a quick sail to Helsinki,

capital of Finland.

I have no idea what to expect but bring it on.

Hey. Where are you going? I'm going to Helsinki.

I'm in Finland. I'm going to Helsinki.

In the town centre.

Cruise is like being on a magic carpet ride,

because you get on board, you unpack, and then you think,

I want to be in Copenhagen.

Whoosh, it takes you there, and then you think,

I want to be in St Petersburg, and it goes whoosh, and you're there.

Then you want to be in Helsinki

and it's whoosh, and you're there.

How fab is that? We're on a magic carpet ride.

I must admit there's some beautiful people over here.

Really stunning looking people

and I'd love to just sit and people watch all day.

I love just sitting down in a cafe and watching the world go by.

Nice fabrics there.

Hang on a minute.

Oh, I say.

Look, you can see... Oh!

Helsinki is one of the world's great design capitals.

In the 1950s, '60s and '70s,

gay designer Tom of Finland raised a few eyebrows, and I can see why.

What would you put in there?

Don't answer that.

Why would you have handcuffs?

Is that so you can chain them to the cooker?

Finland is fab. Anyone or anything can become a design icon here.

I've been told by the team that Uta have something very special

in the shop, but they won't tell me exactly what it is.

Hello, I'm Jane, by the way.

Hi, how are you?

Uta. Welcome. Uta.

I love this.

This is all my photographs.

I do the design myself.

This is actually taken just from my shop door.

Really? Yes.

Here is something really, really new.

Yeah. This is...

the original paintings are done by a Finnish bear, called Juuso.

A real bear? Real living bear.

Not like Bear Grylls?

More like Yogi Bear. This is a real living bear.

A real, live bear. A real, live bear.

How does he paint? He doesn't have a brush, he uses his paws.

You can see this. That's a paw mark.

Yes. Claws.

Claws, yeah.

But I haven't yet got to meet Juuso but I will definitely go and meet

Juuso this summer, and I've heard that I'm going to be...

I really want to kiss Juuso

and I want to get a picture of me and Juuso kissing.

That's going to be really cool. He might bite your head off.

Have you not seen that film with Brad Pitt?

Which one? The one where he gets mauled by a bear?

Leonardo DiCaprio.

I meant him. Have you not seen the film with Leonardo DiCaprio?

No. Where it's got a bear.

I don't...

No?

I wouldn't watch it just before you go.

OK, OK. I admire you so much for kissing a bear,

but then again, you're selling his art, so why not?

I'm not sure bear art is my thing, if you follow my drift,

but I do like that.

That's shadows of twig.

CLANGING

Whoops! That's all right.

Thank you. I can't believe I've just spent 300 quid on cushion covers

but they are beautiful and worth every penny.

Ed, they are worth every penny.

Don't worry.

Everywhere you look, once again, is a postcard.

It's gorgeous.

I need to walk round.

I need to walk round the ship.

I didn't know I could do that!

Coming up, I talk to a tree, so...

SHE SNEEZES

Excuse me.

That'll teach me to go around sniffing trees.

And I fulfil a lifetime ambition and join a supergroup.

Oh, my God! I am going to be the fifth member of ABBA!

I'm in the Baltic on the Viking Sky.

A week of cruising luxury is coming to an end

and I wish it could go on forever.

Do you know, I love this part of the world

and that seagull has been with us all that time.

There are more than 30,000 islands in the Swedish archipelago

and we're sailing past loads of them as we head into Stockholm,

our final destination.

Hello!

It's going to take us an hour to get there which means just enough time

to hit you with my selfie stick, hit you, hit you.

I've been on this ship now for quite a few days and I still get lost.

It's something you will always do.

A tip as well. Always find out where your loos are.

Because you never know.

I can hear a bird.

BIRD TWITTERS

Ah.

I like the birds going in the background.

That's nice, isn't it? I suppose it feels like

you are doing your ablutions in the woods. Like the bears do.

Look at this tree. My God, it smells like Christmas.

That's got to be fake.

Do they come and spray it every day?

Or is it real? It's probably real.

You see we live in such a fake world, don't we?

We think everything is fake.

SHE SNEEZES

Excuse me. That'll teach me to go around sniffing trees.

Everywhere you look, there's amazing pieces of art.

To me that just looks like a very young Susan Boyle.

It does look like Susan Boyle, doesn't it?

Well, you've had another tour of the ship. It's fabulous.

Good morning, ladies and gentlemen.

We hope you enjoyed this beautiful sailing

as we made our way through the spectacular archipelago

this morning. We are currently repositioning the ship

in the dock alongside Stockholm pier.

Ta-ra!

Oh, look at this day.

Stockholm may be the capital of Sweden

and one of the most beautiful cities in the Baltic, but for me,

there's only one thing to do today.

No, it's not a trip to IKEA to eat meatballs,

I'm going to pay homage to Sweden's greatest ever export,

something that quite literally changed my life,

and no, not a Volvo.

We are at the ABBA Museum.

Yes!

MUSIC: Waterloo by ABBA

Look at this!

ABBA!

That's such a great logo.

I didn't think I would be this excited, but I'm really excited.

For real? I am.

This is a little exhibition about the Eurovision Song Contest.

1974, Waterloo.

This is the original outfit.

Oh, my goodness me.

I can't believe I'm looking at the very outfits

that I watched them win in.

Ingmarie is a director of the ABBA Museum,

but started working with the band in the 1970s.

Hair, make-up and wardrobe.

This is me. Oh, look at you!

On the tour in '79 doing the... Washing.

Oh, love. Between the truck and the post.

I think it's great that you made it work.

You've made it work. That's all you need to do.

They were genuinely happy on tour, weren't they?

Yeah, they were, but, you know, to be really honest,

they didn't like touring that much.

Frieda loved to be on stage, yes.

She was quite shy in front of people off stage.

I know that Benny wasn't keen on touring

because he was such a perfectionist when it comes to music,

so if something sounds like this on the record,

it has to sound like that live.

MUSIC: Mamma Mia by ABBA

You ready for the stage now?

I can do it. You can be the fifth member.

Oh! Oh, my God! I'm going to be the fifth member of ABBA!

# I've been cheated by you since I don't know when... #

Absolutely elated, puffed out,

taken back nostalgically.

# It must come to an end... #

When you hear all those amazing songs, see how it was all made,

you can practically touch... You actually feel like ABBA is here.

It's bizarre.

Look at that suit.

Look at that.

You can talk to whoever is calling.

Really?! It's only these four.

That's Frieda.

Fabulous. What a great time I've had here.

Thank you.

# Mamma mia

# Here I go again

# My, my, how can I resist you?

# Mamma mia

# Does it show again

# My, my, just how much I've missed you. #

CHEERING

It's the best ever.

MUSIC: Winner Takes It All by ABBA

I've loved every destination on this cruise.

Never would have been something I'd have picked in a million years.

I've been so shocked at how lovely it is

and how really I haven't explored

this wonderful world that we live in.

I would definitely come back, without a doubt.

# I don't wanna talk

# About things we've gone through

# Though it's hurting me

# Now it's history

# I've played all my cards

# And that's what you've done too

# Nothing more to say

# No more ace to play

# The winner takes it all

# The loser's standing small

# Beside the victory

# That's her destiny

# But tell me does she kiss

# Like I used to kiss you?

# Does it feel the same

# When she calls your name?

# Somewhere deep inside

# You must know I miss you

# But what can I say?

# Rules must be obeyed

# The judges will decide

# The likes of me abide

# Spectators of the show

# Always staying low

# The game is on again

# A lover or a friend

# A big thing or a small

# The winner takes it all. #

What?

Subtitles by Ericsson