All language subtitles for 3RFTS-S02E08-DVDRIP-Team-TDK

Come on, I want to go to the magic shop.

Harry, Sally,
go get some change.

We'll wait here
with the car.

I got to get new sneakers. My toes
are bursting out of these things.

I just bought you those
three months ago.

You know you're a freak, don't you?

Leave me alone, I'm growing.

If it were just the growing,

but for every inch you sprout,
you become that much more insolent

and do that much worse in school.

So what?

You're going to become
the world's tallest idiot.

Why are you
on my case?

I just can't stomach

another of those interminable
parent-teacher conferences.

Look, I did not ask to be the
teenager, okay? You made me.

"Lone star
drilling company."

I bet they have change.
- Yeah, oil men are rich.

Well, check you out.

You look just like
a real woman.

Thanks.

That's what
I was going for.

You know, I still can't get
used to those mood swings.

Way to commit, girl.

I'll be right back.

Hello.

Are you familiar with the art of illusion?

Hi there.

Hi there.

Could you change
a dollar?

For you I could
change anything.

You know, I don't see a lot
of men as good-looking as you.

I don't see a lot of men
as good-looking as you.

Well, we're fabulous,
aren't we?

Oh, yeah.

Hello, hello,
you've got a visitor.

Dr. Solomon, I'm Candace Ballard.

Hello. What do you want?

I'm Tommy's
guidance counselor.

And, by the way, my guidance
counselor might stop by tonight.

Didn't I tell you to
become the model student?

I did. I've aced every test.
- Then what's she doing here?

I don't know, I'm brilliant, not clairvoyant.

Is it too much to ask that you
just once make me a proud father?

It's not my mission
to make you proud.

It is if I say so.
- It is not!

Say it's your mission.
- No!

Go on, say it's your mission.
Say it, say it.

It's my mission.

Is everything
all right?

Everything's fine.
- Then I'll see you la

you get back in here
and sit down!

Sit down.
- Thank you.

Give me your coat.
- Okay.

How am I supposed to learn
if you keep letting me out?

Well,

I have some news.

Maybe you'd
better sit down.

Tommy scored higher on
the national merit quiz

than anyone
in Ohio's history.

It's not my fault!
- That's a good thing.

No, that's a good thing.
You should be proud.

You've raised
a very bright boy.

I'm sorry.
Could you repeat that?

You've raised
a very bright boy?

No one's ever said that
to me before. Say it again.

Well, actually, I wanted..
- No, just say it!

I love that.. the bright boy part.
Say it! Say it!

Bright boy!

In fact, he's done so well,

I think he should transfer
to the Pickney country day school

for the gifted.

Because I raised
a gifted son?

Yes! Look at what you've already given him..

the stimulation,

the nurturing,

and not to mention...
the genes he inherited.

You're right.
I do give a lot as a father.

Oh!

Sally.

There's something
I have to tell you about

your boyfriend.

He cooks,
he loves the arts,

he wears great shoes,

and he's single.

Yeah, what's your point?

Sally,

marry this man.

Tommy!
Come in here!

Tommy!
Great news.

I'm sending you
to the Pickney school,

where our accomplishments
will be recognized.

What?! No, I don't want to go.
I'll have to leave all my friends.

Stop thinking of yourself.

Think of me
and how proud I'll be.

He'll go.
- Wonderful.

A little something
to graze on.

I'm out.

I'm out
of the closet.

I love this family.

What is Dick's problem?

I don't want to go to the Pickney school.

Of course you don't.

Your father's
a professor.

By rejecting education,
you're rejecting him.

Rejection's the most
powerful weapon there is.

Well, maybe on earth.

I know this is going to be
miserable. I already hate it there.

You know, all those brainy
girls are going to be ugly.

Are you saying that

intelligent girls are, by
definition, unattractive?

Yeah, most
of them are.

Oh, well, not all of them are.

I mean..
in fact,

on the graph of smart girls
and the graph of pretty ones,

you're the sole
intersection,

the single point
of perfection

in an infinity
of stupid and homely.

Wow, you are gifted.

You're smoking.

I guess my body just
responds to the classics.

They're having a dance
contest here next week.

We'd be unbeatable.

Especially if we target our key competition

and sever their
achilles tendons.

What?

You're just so great.

You're a warrior
in a world full of phonies.

You're not afraid
to be who you are.

You're in the military,
and you wear a dress.

I just want to be
all that I can be.

You're the strongest
person I've ever met.

I know.

Tommy, we're thrilled
to have you here.

Dr. Solomon, as a parent and
educator, kudos to you.

You've raised a very special boy.

Yes, I have.

And you've had the foresight
to bring him to the right place.

Well, I am
the high commander.

Yes. Well,
people of brilliance

can't be expected
to function in a society

that's run
by intellectual midgets.

That's what
we always say.

Yes, yes,
you and Tommy

have found a home here
at the Pickney.

It's not just for exceptional
students. It's for exceptional parents.

Then you must be
delighted to meet me.

Ah, Aramis, thanks
for stopping by.

Tommy, consider Aramis
Pickney's welcome wagon.

I'm here to show you
what's wired and what's tired.

Somebody shoot me
in the head.

Well, Dr. Menard, now
that the children are away,

let's discuss me
at great length.

Oh, hey!
How was your day?

Great. I am the king of Dorkopolis.

My liege.

Tommy.

Lookin' good.

Dick, feelin'
stupid.

Oh, Dick!

You've got money in your shoes. Ooh!

You've got money
in your shoes.

I want money shoes.

Harry, no, money shoes
are for Pickney students

and Pickney
parents only.

Oh... rats.

Tommy, look at this.

First in your class.
You're a genius.

You've made me
so proud, son.

Is there anything you need?

Money? A ride somewhere?
Cuff links?

Can I build you a darkroom?
Anything you want.. name it, it's yours.

I want to go back
to my old school.

Cuff links it is.

Don't put bumper stickers on my car.

Why do you think
it was me?

"I am the proud
secretary

for the father of the
smartest kid at Pickney".

It may have been me.

Dick, did you see this
article about Tommy in the paper?

Tommy, my son,
the child genius?

Yes, that Tommy.

"Finest to compete in
Pickney's knowledge bowl.

Smartest kid
expected to win".

Ah, here it is.

"Tommy's father,
Dr. Dick Solomon,

physics professor at
nearby Pendleton university,

reminds people that genius
is 1% perspiration

and 99%
brilliant father".

You don't think I
overstated my influence, do you?

No.

And hip,
and hip,

and hip, hip, hip.

Now the arms,
and arms,

and out,
and in.

And, Sally, you're
leading again.

I keep forgetting
I'm the girl.

I've got to go,
I'm getting my chest waxed.

Uh... hey, you want to come?
I've got a coupon.

No, I prefer to tweeze.

Ouch!

I'm not usually
attracted to your type,

but you are
something special.

Well, what you see
is what you get.

So you're pretty into him, huh?

I think he might be the one.

Why would I want
to wax my chest?

Okay, Tommy,

I read that you're competing
in the knowledge bowl.

So what?
- So, we have to review.

What?! Dick,
that's stupid.

I'm the information officer.
I know everything.

Maybe, maybe not.

What's that
supposed to mean?

How about physics...

in Russian?

Wrong. It's...

Now you asked the question wrong..

If you want it "crytami",
you should have asked...

Famous Ontologists
in Greek.

..Bryant Gumbel.

In the form
of a question.

..Bryant Gumbel?

Whatever!

Poets of
the Li river delta.

Complete Huang Po's classic
couplet of love and betrayal.

This isn't even
a so-called life.

Oh, well,

as Harry Houdini
once said,

pick a card,
any card.

It's my mission
to be a teenager,

but right now I hate my
father, I hate my school,

and my life seems
hopeless. Some teenager I am.

Cut the deck.

If I'm going to do my job,

I've got to be
in a real school,

one with metal detectors
and pregnant cheerleaders.

Fold the edges of your card ever so slightly.

Why am I even putting
myself through all this?

So Dick can
feel proud?

Pick another card, add the
value, multiply it by four.

So, I mean, this
whole thing's crazy.

I'm not Dick's son. I'm
the information officer.

I've got to bring this
mission back on course.

Write the number on your
arm so that I cannot see it.

There's only one thing left to do..
- Shuffle.

Sabotage.

All right, we're okay

as long as none
of those are clubs.

Pick a card.

Ta-da!

Remember to phrase
your answer

in the form
of an answer.

Okay, next question:

"Tabula Rasa" is a Latin term meaning what?

Tommy knows this one.
What's wrong with him?

"Tabula Rasa"
means blank slate.

That is correct.

He's probably
just nervous.

Relax, damn you!
Relax!

Which impressionist
painter

is known for his series
of water lilies?

That's a very easy
one, Dr. Menard.

The answer is...

Picasso.

No!

The answer is
Claude Monet.

Dr. Solomon,

competition is
essential to learning.

Bite me!

What is the outer
envelope, or atmosphere, of gas

surrounding
the sun called?

Ooh, mmm...
that's a toughie.

you have 10 seconds.

Five seconds.

Three, two, one.

It's called the corona!
You've been there!

You know that!

Dick, come on. He's trying. He's your son.

Son?
He's not my son.

I have no son!

Let's go win us
a contest.

Sally, why don't you wear that
little red number you've got?

It'll look better with my outfit.

But I look so hot.

You must have something flashier
than that. Let me see your closet.

Fine. Help me with the zipper.

Don't worry, I'm very good at this.
Now slip out of that dress.

Oh!

Oh!

Look, I've made
a big, big mistake.

What's wrong? What did I do?

How can I put this?...I expected... more.

What, I'm not
your kind of woman?

Oh, Sally,

you are a woman.

What did
you think I was?!

Wow.

I have never seen such
reprehensible behavior.

I know, I don't blame you
if you have to expel Tommy.

Dr. Solomon, we still
consider Tommy Pickney material.

It is you who are
banned from the Pickney.

I'm banned?
Well, guess what.

Tommy didn't even want to come
to this robot factory outlet.

I made him.
Me, me, me!

And now I'm putting him back in a
real school where he can be himself,

the kind of school
where kids aren't judged

on how well they test
or how much they know.

Where they aren't
judged at all.

Where they have the freedom
to stay faceless and nameless

from "K" through 12.

Carrying their diplomas
straight through the golden arches

and on into their
waiting mac Jobs!

Come on, Tommy.
We're going home.

Thank you, sir.

Dick and Tommy were
the best of pals.

But then, one day,
Dick used Tommy

to make himself
look good.

Now, to get back at him,
Tommy used Dick

to make Dick
look very bad.

Now, apart they were just
two separate handkerchiefs.

Oh, shut up, Harry.
- Shut up, Harry.

But then, magically,
they got back together.

Why did you do
that to me?

I don't know.

I guess 'cause you made
my life suck.

Why didn't you just tell me that?

I tried to. You were
impenetrably happy.

What is it about the
father-son relationship that

makes communication
so difficult?

Is it the father
using his son

to make good on
his unfulfilled dreams?

Or is it the son

defining himself by rejecting his father?

It's neither. It's both.

It's men.

And how did you acquire
this new expertise?

Oh, yeah. What happened with Glenn?

Well, remember
when we said that

two sexes must
be so limiting?

I think Glenn
found a loophole.

You're
a precocious kid,

but this is
a game of wisdom.

All right, old man,

let's settle this
once and for all.

Checkmate!
- Oh, damn it!

Oh!

Oh, wait. Look.

My rook can take your..

oh.