Original subtitles

Hello. ─ Shush ..

Hey!

Well ..

Don't put me off mister, please. I'm in an awful hurry. A matter of life and death.

Yeah, yours if you don't climb out of there, come on, out of ..

Now don't you touch me or I'll scream "kidnap" as loud as I can.

You wouldn't do that? ─ You want to see?

They lynch kidnappers you know. They don't wait to ask questions.

Hey, will you have a heart and get out? ─ How close to you go to Hartford?

Hartford? I don't come within ten miles of there.

I think I feel a scream coming on .. ─ Hold it lady!

I'm expecting to meet my mother at Hartford, maybe for the last time.

I just got word that she's, she's dying. ─ I'm dying laughing.

Oh listen, you won't lose anything by it. Mother will be so grateful.

She'll even pay you when we get there. ─ I thought she was dying.

She feels better now .. you see, she's a big actress.

She's playing at the Hartford theater this week.

Well, she should feel pretty good then. ─ Oh she feels fine.

How many mothers have you? ─ What?

One is dying, one is feeling pretty good and one is feeling simply swell.

Well you see, I .. ─ Never mind. I'll take you.

Just don't start anything. ─ Oh thank you so much.

Oh that's alright. I'm sure glad you weren't going to Europe.

You know, this boat isn't water-proof.

Hey, you can't come in here.

I'm looking for my mother. ─ I bet your father is too.

Say no dogs allowed unless they're in the act.

Go and find Goldy Boo-Boo. Go on, find her .. He's in the act now.

Yoo-hoo.

Well? ─ It's a long story.

It had better be good.

Fired again, huh? ─ No, I ran away.

And you're going to run right back.

If you think I'm going to pay 1,800 dollars tuition fees, just for you to ..

If you take Boo-Boo, I think you'll get another bow.

Oh, you did learn something.

Folks .. I want you to have a look at Goldie's little girl.

Oh I'm so happy, so proud .. ─ Grab a good look.

Before I take her upstairs and beat the daylights out of her.

You're in-and-out of boarding schools like your father was in and out of saloons.

Oh Ma .. ─ That's not funny.

Quit fiddling with my hair. ─ Oh but it's such nice hair mother.

It's a pretty color. ─ You poor sap. It's bleach.

I know, but that doesn't stop if from being pretty.

Oh darling, I do love being here with you.

You can't work me the way you work .. now listen baby ..

You want to go into the act with me, don't you?

You want to put this stuff on your face every day until you get a map like mine?

It's the nicest map I know.

You want to play 6 shows a day. You want to take busk jobs. Miss your meals ..

Oh I'd love it. ─ Well, why not? It's a lot of fun.

Orchestra out of tune, dressing room without water, audiences without applause.

You know who's headlining here this week? ─ Why you.

No .. a trained seal. ─ Oh darling.

I can't help it. I think it's wonderful.

So that's why you ran away? You little bird-brain ..

You know, you've been at it so long, it isn't fun for you any more.

It's time I started earning money for this family, and let you have a rest.

OH darling, let me go into it .. please..

Say, I love this silly old business better than anything else on earth.

Except you. ─ But you keep saying that ..

I know. Have you heard soldiers talk about the army?

Well I .. ─ No, you haven't.

Well this is the way I see it.

You've got to be educated to stand quiet. I wasn't.

I was born in a subway and raised next to the boiler factory.

But I don't like quiet.

Well, you're going to learn to like it, if I have to break your neck.

I've sense to know there's something better for you than show business.

What? ─ What? Huh!

You get back to that school.

Meet those nice society girls. They all have brothers and cousins.

What I want for you is a good reliable marriage.

But the school won't take me back. ─ Why not?

Well .. ─ Well, why not?

They won't take me back. They saw a man in my room.

They saw a which in your what? ─ At least they thought they did.

I took the janitor's coat and hat and fixed them on a chair a light behind it.

Well, that's a nifty little invention. When was that?

Last night. I thought I'd tell you personally.

Nice of you.

Anyway, they won't take me back. ─ I can believe that.

Can I travel with you and help .. ─ No, you cannot!

I've done everything I could to keep you out of this. I've given up things.

I've even gone without dessert. ─ But that was on account of your figure.

I want you to know that I've kept my figure.

Oh, I know you have.

I don't know what I'm going to do with you.

I have it! .. Your Aunt Ida.

Not Chetwattle Falls?

You will go to your aunt Ida at Chetwattle Falls and will remain there for six weeks.

Until I've finished my bookings. ─ But mother, I can't.

What's the matter with your aunt Ida?

Why, she's been waiting 10 years for a garage-man to marry her.

And what's the matter with a garage-man? ─ Why, you know.

Marigold, there are certain things about life and love that you don't understand.

Until you are at least forty. ─ But mother, I thought you were only 36.

We'll skip that. Chetwattle Falls for you young lady.

And for you! ─ I won't go!

You will go to Chetwattle Falls. You and that animated dish-rag.

I won't, I won't, I won't ..

[ dog barking ]

Pardon me, Miss.

Is there a dog in there with you?

A dog? Why, I don't think so.

Goodnight porter.

Is there a dog in this car?

A dog? .. I don't think so.

Evening Miss. ─ Good evening.

No dogs allowed. I'm sorry. ─ Oh but he's such a little dog.

You can't keep him in here.

If you throw him off, you'll have to throw me off too.

Her just goes to the baggage car.

I can't have the other passengers disturbed.

But he'll be so lonesome. ─ Don't worry Miss.

I'll sit up with him all night. Personally.

Caleb, come here.

Here's that piece about Nathaniel Burke's funeral.

????

The earthly remains of Nathaniel Burke will arrive here for burial today.

Nathaniel died Tuesday of alcoholism and over-exertion in pursuit of chorus-girls.

The Burke family. suppressing as best they can their heart-felt relief.

Will be at the station to pick up the old pickled walnut.

Why you can't print that Julian .. it's libelous.

Well couldn't I say that he was a hypocrite farmer who would steal his own watch ..

And that he looked like an old billy-goat.

Hey remember, that Mrs Chester Burke was a "Chetwattle".

And you you don't dare print anything about the Burke's you can't prove.

I know that.

But I wanted to see how the truth about the great Nathaniel would look on paper.

You should have stuck in New York, Julian. You shouldn't have come here.

Why, this town ain't got news enough to support a daily paper.

A top-notch newspaper man makes his own news.

I thought I couldn't ..

Hello .. yeah .. what?

Oh yes Mr Barrow .. yeah, but I've got it all set up.

What? .. I get you .. Okay.

Caleb .. cancel the Palace Department Store Ad'.

It's closed all day tomorrow out of respect for Nathaniel Burke.

And it will be the slowest funeral this town's ever seen.

Nathaniel Burke was a mighty big man.

Oh he was, was he? Well then, you write the old fossil's obituary.

Good afternoon Mr Peters. ─ My deepest sympathy Mr Burke.

The death of your brother has been a great loss to this community.

I've uh .. felt it already.

The family feels .. that is, Mrs Burke and I ..

That The Clarion would like to print a worthy obituary article.

And I've had Mr Benson, the principal of the high-school write this:

Well, I helped a little. ─ Oh, naturally.

Perhaps we could break it up and run it as a serial?

And, what's this? ─

Well, these photographs are of Nathaniel and family pictures.

We thought you'd maybe you'd want to print half a page, or a page?

Oh a page by all means.

Ah .. ─ Nathaniel at the age of eighteen.

He was a fine boy .. I forgot to mention.

Something else?

I mean I sort of thought that. Well, it's an obituary poem.

And you want me to print it? ─ It's customary.

Maybe you'd get the effect better if I read it to you.

Yeah .. go ahead.

Goodbye dear brother, goodbye.

We'll never see you any more, that's why.

So a light now shines in the window for you.

And a place is kept in our hearts so true.

Someday we will meet on the other shore.

For Nathaniel doesn't live here any more.

Oh no .. no, that's not the last line. It goes like this:

Then we'll be together .. to part .. no more.

So it does. ─ My son Joey wrote it.

I guessed that. ─ It's got sentiment, don't you think?

I don't stop to think in a situation like this .. I just let my heart lead me.

Put that on the front page, please. ─ You bet I will.

In a special box. ─ Thank you.

Thank you. ─ Goodbye.

How do you do Mrs Burke. I'm awful sorry to hear about your brother-in-law.

If there is anything I can do .. ─ Not a thing Ida. We have everything.

Howdy Ida. ─ How do you do Mr Burke.

But mama, she was only trying to be nice.

Nonsense! It was only an excuse to speak to me.

Hello Julian! ─ Hello.

Hey, I got your wedding announcements ready to print.

Well I .. you see .. Sam ..

Well, we think we'd better wait a little longer on account he's ..

He's pretty busy at the garage, and well you'd better wait.

What again? He'd better watch out, or I'll grab you myself.

But I have got a little item for you.

Not a poem? ─ Land sakes no ..

I've got a wire from my sister. She's sending my little niece to visit me.

Swell, glad to print it. When's she coming? ─ Any day now.

Caleb. ─ Yeah?

Here's something for you to set up if you can hold back the tears.

All this? ─ Half a column.

Right, give me the stuff. What's her name? ─ Marigold Tate.

Her mother's on the stage. I was with her once. Did you ever see the act?

Well I can't say that I ever did. ─ The "Tate Sisters".

I was the thin one.

You don't tell me. ─ Goodbye.

Goodbye Miss Tate.

Julian! ─ Yeah?

You're going to cover the arrival of that funeral train, aren't you?

I am .. and I wish I was in charge of that funeral.

I'd bury old Nally with a bottle of gin in one hand and a pair of dice in the other.

And I'd have the band playing "There's a hot time in the old town tonight".

Will you give us a hand with the casket? ─ Sure.

A fine man gone to his just rewards.

I begged you not to take him. Now he's gone.

Poor Boo-Boo. ─ I'm terribly sorry, Miss.

But we're pulling out soon. You've got to get off.

Gee, look mama. Mine eyes dazzled.

Your eyes do what?

That's the most beautiful woman I ever saw.

The face that launched a thousand ships.

There's a proper time for everything, Joey.

And that includes poetry.

He's gone .. I'll never see him anymore.

Oh my poor Boo-Boo. What will I do without him?

Nathaniel Burke a "Boo-Boo".

Take this up to Clarion office. It's the lead story on the Burke funeral.

Tell Caleb I saw it with my own eyes. ─ Sure.

There, there little girl. What's the matter?

I want my Boo-Boo back.

Now, you just come with me and tell me all about it.

He was all I had. I'll never forgive myself.

To think that only last week I lost my temper.

Hit him over the head with a slipper. ─ Oh you poor little kid.

Who is that woman? ─ I'll go and find out.

You stay here. Something tells me the less we know about her the better.

That beautiful veiled face is my fate ..

Joey! ─ But Louella ..

I've always felt there was something besides business ..

Behind Nathaniel's trips to New York.

How'd you come to call him "Boo-Boo"?

Well .. I used to play hide-and-seek with him in the mornings.

I'd put my head round the edge of the bed and say "Boo-Boo".

And he'd come from under the bureau. ─ Nathaniel?

Nathaniel who? ─ Burke.

Who's he? ─ Under the bureau ..

What are you talking about?

You said you used to play hide-and-seek with Nathaniel Burke under the bureau.

I said no such thing.

I said I used to play hide-and-seek with Boo-Boo.

Well, who is Boo-Boo? ─ Boo-Boo is my little dog.

I just lost him in the train.

Come on .. get in there.

Where are you taking me? ─ Down to the office.

I may be able to stop that story yet.

Alright, don't get so excited Napoleon. I'll send this car back to the asylum.

Hey!

And then she got off the train all dressed in black .. just like a widow.

She threw herself on the casket, kicking and screaming something dreadful.

It was the most disgusting thing I ever saw in my life.

I wouldn't have missed it for a million dollars.

All the men in town agree that she isn't even pretty.

My wife said she had blue eyes, but I wasn't looking at her eyes.

Nathaniel always could pick them.

I'm leaving for New York tonight. There must be one more like her.

I know Nathaniel passed on, but oh boy, what a death.

Let me help you aunt Ida. ─ Take it easy your first morning, dearie.

Hey, that tune is kind of cute.

This is the step that your mother and I used in the act.

But I've forgotten it.

Look. You take the piano, and I'll show you how she does it now.

For the land's sakes, I want to learn that one myself.

[ window breaking ]

Oh dear! I might have known something like this would happen.

Like what aunt Ida?

Well the people of this town never did like my being an actress and ..

Now you've come along .. and well I guess that's just too much for them.

They're starting to stone us.

Stone us? Oh aunt Ida, they can't do that these days.

Well maybe not .. but there's the stone.

Look .. a note! ─ What train does it say we have to take?

Oh fair of hair and sweet of face ..

The Queenliest of a Queenly race.

My heart beats quick .. With love I am sick.

Thinking of you, gives me a kick.

Thou Queen.

And it's signed, a worshiper from afar. J.B.

J.B? Oh, that's alright then. I was worried for a moment.

What do you mean it's alright? They broke a window.

They're not stoning us. ─ I suppose you call this a pebble?

It's just some of Joey Burke's foolishness. You see .. he's a poet.

Well, he'll have to be a better poet than that to throw stones at me.

I know. Let's call the Police.

You couldn't do that Marigold. Not about a Burke ..

Oh, there's lawyer Pickett. ─ Who is he?

Lawyer Pickett.

Good morning Lawyer Pickett. Will come in and sit awhile?

Ida Tate, this is not a social visit.

Marigold, this is Lawyer Pickett. This is my niece.

You are the young lady I came to see.

That's very nice of you. ─ I'm the attorney for the Burke family.

The Burkes know why you're young woman.

I'm glad they do.

My late friend Mr Burke may have had his faults, but nothing could be proven.

Until you stepped off that train. ─ What's she to do with Nathaniel Burke?

The facts are indicated in today's Chetwattle Falls Clarion.

Towards the end of the last column.

If you intended any undercover procedure .. that nullifies it.

Oh!

Will you tell me the mastermind that wrote these words?

Julian Peters, and he's as nice a boy .. ─ Oh ..

Is he quite tall? ─ Yes.

With gray eyes? ─ Yes.

He's very good looking.

A serpent looking for whom she may destroy.

What are you talking about?

You'll find this town can be made pretty warm for an objectionable intruder.

Young lady, I want your promise that you will leave this town within 24 hours.

Aunt Ida, would you teach Lawyer Pickett that bus-dance.

There is someone I want to have a few words with.

Ida Tate .. It looks as if your past has caught up with you.

My past? Why she's my niece. ─ Never the less, you were an actress.

The way you say that anyone would think that I'd shot McKinley.

Let me tell you this Mr Pickett.

The only man whoever sent a love-note to me backstage, came from this town.

Howdy Ida ..

Oh Sam .. ─ Easy Ida ..

The matter notwithstanding Ida Tate.

That niece of yours had better leave this town.

Those are my last words. Goodbye.

Listen Ida ..

You hadn't ought to come running for me that way with your arms held out.

Sam, what difference does it make? Everyone knows we're engaged.

Yeah, the know it Ida, but they can't prove it.

Maybe they can't, but I can Sam Gardner.

Besides, what would folk say if they knew I lent you the money to start your garage?

Well, I had to have a kind of a business if we was going to get married, didn't I?

That was ten years ago.

And now your niece is here carrying on, high, wide and handsome.

Sam Gardner, I'm tired of having my past and my kin's past thrown in my face.

You were high and handsome yourself the night you sent me this note backstage.

And there was liquor on your breath. ─ Well, the paper don't prove nothing.

I was too cute to sign my name. ─ Maybe you wiggled out of that one.

But you can't wiggle out of that license to marry me you took out ten years ago.

That's expired.

Don't forget. We've had it renewed every year.

Well, it don't hold until the minister or judge says the words.

He's holding for a breach-of-promise suit. ─ Ida, you wouldn't?

Don't ask me. You'd better be nice to Marigold, or I will.

Mr Peters. ─ Hello Joey.

I've got something here I'd like you to print.

That's funny. ─ Oh no Mr Peters, it's not funny.

It's romantic. ─ What?

The poem I'd like you to print. ─ Oh, it's a poem.

It's a beautiful poem Mr Peters. I'd almost pay you to print it.

Well, let's see it. ─ I'll read it to you.

Oh you, who walk in beauty. Oh you, a face so fair.

Oh you, of whom I sing so sweet.

Yoo - hoo.

Yoo - hoo.

Yoo - hoo.

It's kind of a greeting. Sort of a love poem. You kind of yodel it like this:

Yoo - hoo!

Yoo - hoo!

I see .. sort of a Swiss effect?

Swiss?

It was inspired. ─ Oh, it must have been.

By a beautiful woman. ─ Has she got a friend?

She's misunderstood .. if I write another one .. I'll bring it in.

Let it ripen .. bye. ─ Goodbye.

Why don't you look where you are going?

Beautiful.

Is this what passes as a newspaper office? ─ Yes ma'am.

I'd like to see the editor of this paper. ─ You're looking at him.

Where is the owner of this place? ─ At your service madam.

Something you'd like to talk about? ─ You know what I want to talk about.

I'm sorry Miss ..

But if you merely stopped to tell me what a wonderful paper we run ..

I haven't the time. Just drop us a note and we'll print it when we have space.

Perhaps I should have brought my rawhide whip?

Whips are being worn long this year .. fashion note!

Perhaps this is the article to which you refer?

It is.

After the casket .. there stepped from the train .. a beautiful young woman.

Go on.

She remarked between sobs, she didn't see how she was going to live.

Without her Boo-Boo. I seem to have heard that.

Do you happen to know that I've been asked to leave this town?

Who asked you to leave? The Burkes? .. Swell ..

I judge you don't like the Burkes.

Why do you think I printed that story? ─ Yes, but how about my reputation?

Called the girlfriend of that horrid man. ─ Why you should be flattered ..

To be treated as a grown-up for once.

Why .. I am almost nineteen!

That's about all the time I can give you little girl.

You'd better go right back and finish your homework.

Here's something for your pencil-box.

I'll be seeing you when you grown up.

Good morning Mr Peters.

Hello Mr Pickett.

Hello Mrs Burke, Mr Burke. ─ We'd like to see you alone.

Don't mind Marigold, she's practically one of the family.

Young man, that is libel! ─ Let me handle this Mrs Burke.

Julian Peters .. on the front page of your paper last night ..

Was a very clear implication that this young woman ..

Because of her previous relationship with Nathaniel Burke ..

Came to this town as his chief mourner.

I said that a young lady got off the train, weeping that she had lost her Boo-Boo.

The implication was clear, and implication is enough.

We are therefore this day instituting a suit against you for the sum of $20,000.

Meaning you want to wipe me out, huh? ─ We merely want to be protected.

And I suppose you'll get away with it. Bah ..

That's the end of The Clarion. ─ You made your bed young man.

And now .. you can eat it.

Let me hear some more about this libel suit.

Is there a law that says a man can print anything in a newspaper if it is the truth?

Do you mean to say that you admit your relationship with Nathaniel?

Well .. well I was so young.

The shamelessness! The utter shamelessness!

We didn't count on this.

That brother of yours! That Casanova. That Don Juan, that Satyr!

That Boo-Boo.

He must have been sorely tempted. ─ All the Burke men are weak.

We'd better leave. ─ We had!

Marigold, that was a very nice gesture on your part.

But I don't think you should have done it.

Wasn't it wiser? If they'd brought a suit against you, you might have investigated.

Are you kidding me? You never saw Nathaniel Burke in your life.

Oh! Didn't I?

Did you? ─ What, an innocent little thing like me?

Oh, you're driving me daffy.

My briefcase .. I forgot it.

Oh Mr Burke .. tell me.

Why did you want me to leave your beautiful city?

Oh no .. it's not me .. it's my wife.

You know, you have eyes just like your brother's.

It's strange he was so kind .. and you are so cruel.

I could be kind too .. I understand about things .. I'm a man of the world.

As one citizen of the world to another .. thank you.

Chester .. Chester!

Well young lady .. you made a nice show of yourself.

Yes.

Talking like the wickedest woman in Paris. ─ To some men, that's very attractive.

Not to me! ─ You're not interested?

Not in the least.

Why you funny little man. Why don't you grow up?

I'm busy.

What's that?

That's something about a party you'd better not go to.

Basket what? ─ Social.

Social? ─ Basket.

A "Colonial Basket Social". Well, what's that?

A lady packs a basket of food.

The men bid for it, and the lucky bidder eats with the lady.

Oh, how sweet. What's it for?

To raise funds to build a house for the Colonial relic.

Oh, I thought the birds had a house.

Listen .. tell me the truth.

Did you ever see that old buzzard?

I thought you newspaper men knew .. everything.

Why do you sit here afternoons? It's cooler on the other side of the house.

I'm alright thanks. I like it here.

You mean that Julian Peters has taken to going by this way.

Why, I hardly know the man.

Hello. ─ Oh, hello.

Shove up. ─ I've shoved.

All alone?

Well, I can't prepare that chicken for the puritan party out here.

If Columbus saw that bunch on Saturday, he's be sorry he discovered America.

By the way .. didn't you forget to ask me to go to the social with you?

Had you been counting on it? ─ No. Just expecting it.

It breaks my heart to have to disappoint you.

Why? Do you have to work?

No, but a man in my position has to be careful of his ..

Reputation.

Yes. ─ Thanks.

That must be why I was attracted to you in the first place.

You're so different from all the other men in this town.

I haven't noticed them buzzing around so thick.

Oh, you've no idea what goes on while you're out hunting for news.

Then why do you want me to take you to the basket social?

I suppose I may as well give in.

I'll stop by for you. ─ Fine.

No .. no I can't. ─ Why not?

Well, you're the 13th man that's asked me, and I'm a slave to superstition.

Oh don't tell me that. I know this town.

Every man in it is married or spoken for.

It's no use to urge me. ─ Who's urging you?

No, I'm too superstitious .. I'm going to stay home with a good book.

Don't tell me you can read a book .. I'll meet you there.

Oh no you won't. ─ About o'clock.

I'll be in bed. ─ On Saturday night?

My eyes are full of tears.

These pants are too tight.

It's so soon after the funeral. Do you suppose there will be any criticism?

They'll be plenty of criticism if they split.

Let's get started. It's late.

Where's Joey? Why doesn't he come downstairs?

You know what he's been like lately.

Joey!

He hasn't eaten a thing for two days. ─ What's the matter with him?

You know as well as I do. He imagines he's in love with that Tate girl.

Joey!

When I was his age they gave me sulphur and molasses for the same complaint.

It's a "Burke" thing .. nobody in my family ever fell in love.

Joey! Joey!

What is it Mama? Can't you see I'm in the throws of composition?

It's time for you to get into your costume, dear.

I can't think about things like that. I've got a poem to get completed.

A poem for whom?

There you go again .. Well it won't do you any good to say anything against her.

I won't listen.

Oh Chester, I'm just worried sick about that boy.

He'll get over it.

Joey's not like other boys. He's so high-strung.

Why Chester.

An unfortunate emotional experience might cost Joey his reason.

If he's going to be a poet, losing his reason will never be noticed.

Now .. you grab Priscilla's hand there General Holden and ..

And you take as though you're kind of mad, Myles Standish.

Now. ─ Look, she's here.

We'd better wait for Sam here.

Good evening Sarah Thompson. ─ Good evening Miss Tate.

Lovely night for the party .. hello Edith.

I don't think we'd better wait any longer Sarah.

Oh dear. Well, maybe they were in a hurry.

You just can't get used to being snubbed, can you.

It's all Julian's fault. He could at least have brought you to the party.

He'll manage somehow.

Good evening Ida Tate. Have you seen my wife?

Oh yes, she and Mrs Black went on ahead.

Good evening. ─ Good evening, sir.

Do you know my little niece Marigold?

Delighted .. tickled to death.

I didn't think anyone wanted to meet me. ─ What do you mean? Oh go on ..

I've been so frightened that no-one would be nice to me.

I wonder what she's saying to them.

I wish I knew. They seem to enjoy it.

You'd think they'd be too old for that.

Are you coming along Marigold?

Aren't there some colonial relics?

Yes, over by the river. All set up like they used to.

Well, I think I'll go and look at them.

Oh, don't you bother about me, any of you.

No bother at all.

These are the stocks .. sit down.

I'm not so sure how they work. ─ Sit down yourself.

This is the whipping post.

It's over a hundred and fifty years old.

And this is the ducking stool.

It swings right out over the river.

They used to duck scolds. ─ Not such a bad idea.

You know, you gentlemen are so interesting. I just love listening to you.

It's just like reading a book.

This is where you are huh? Among the relics.

These gentlemen were just showing me what they did with bad little boys.

When Chetwattle Falls first began forming.

Alright you Pilgrim Fathers, if you do want your picture in the paper ..

Gather round this early American mystery woman.

Your wives will love it.

I hate to have my picture taken. ─ I look kind of foolish in this.

Say, that's the auction. I've got a date with a basket.

Me Too! ─ So have I.

I thought you were home with a book.

Well, I didn't like it. The hero wasn't very bright.

He didn't sweep the heroine off her feet.

So you like the girl to be swept off her feet, huh?

Well, it seems to me you've picked a pretty rusty lot of sweepers.

Listen to Grandpa for a minute will you.

Be careful of the wives in this town. They are not used to competition.

Just so long as you aren't upset. ─ Why should I be?

I can't imagine.

Remember boys, the price you pay is for a basket of food ..

And the society of a fair lady.

All we ask of you is to return the baskets.

Twenty-five cents.

Twenty-five cents. ─ Thirty!

Thirty cents I'm offered from one Sam Gardner.

Thirty-five cents. ─ Thirty-five cents. Do I hear forty?

I put in a bottle of elderberry wine.

Fifty cents. ─ Fifty cents.

Fifty cents I'm offered for the first time. Fifty cents for the second time.

For the third and last time, sold to Sam Gardner for fifty cents.

That's a lot of money, Sam.

But you've been eating Ida's vittles now for ten years ..

And this is the first time it will cost you anything.

Chester .. stay away from that cider .. you look funny enough already.

Yes dear, I'll be careful.

You remember the strawberry festival?

When you went flitting about telling everyone you were a butterfly?

Ah, here's the smallest basket of all.

Well, well, well. Good things always come in small baskets.

Let's see now. Who offers this dainty treasure?

Marigold ..

Tate.

Hold it, father.

It's her. ─ That Tate girl.

What am I offered for this one, gentlemen?

Well, I guess it's time for your friends to stand by you.

Fifty cents. ─ Seventy-five.

How do you do? ─ Joey, your mother will hear you.

One dollar. ─ That's many copies of The Clarion.

A dollar and a quarter.

That's Joey bidding. Stop him Chester.

A dollar and a half. ─ A dollar sixty.

A dollar seventy-five. ─ Oh please don't. It's not worth that.

I'll bet it's not.

Two dollars. ─ Two and a quarter.

Two dollars and eighty-five cents.

Do something Chester. ─ Five dollars!

Five dollars?

Sold for the record price of five dollars.

Five dollars .. Chester Burke?

When? ─ How do you do.

You told me to do something. ─ I didn't ask you to indulge the creature.

Let me handle this my own way Louella.

I don't anticipate any trouble whatever.

Father, what have you done? ─ Oh wait now son, father is busy.

Joey .. where are you going? ─ Into the night.

You're not serious about eating with that old rip are you?

Why not? He bought my basket at a record price.

I'd better wait and take you home. ─ Oh don't bother .. I'll be alright.

I believe I have the honor Miss Marigold.

Goodnight Julian.

You know, I'm a little afraid of you. ─ Well, you needn't be.

With a little girl like you I can be just as gentle as a dove.

I believe you could be Mr Burke. ─ Now, don't go calling me Mr Burke.

You call me Chester .. or Chessie. That's it .. Chessie.

Alright Jessie. ─ No, "Chessie".

"Chessie". ─ That's fine.

Caleb.

You cover things. I'm going back to the office.

What's the matter? ─ Too many Burkes.

Give me your hand. ─ I can see alright Chessie.

You know .. to me you're a kind of a sacred trust.

Nathaniel would have wanted me to shelter you.

Isn't it lovely here under this tree? ─ Beautiful .. shall we sit down?

Perhaps your side of that episode is hard to understand for a community like this.

You know .. narrow minded.

Marigold, you inspired this poem.

Oh Mr Burke!

Help! Help .. help!

Help! ─ I'm coming.

Help! Help!

Who is that? ─ What's happened?

Help!

Help!

I wonder what's the matter with him. Can't you see?

Look Louella, it's your husband. ─ What is it?

What's happened? ─ I think I've been attacked.

Who did it? ─ It's all a blank.

Wait a minute .. what about this?

Oh, Chester Burke.

I don't know anything about anything.

I was just sitting here, and the next thing I knew I was unconscious.

I know. That girl .. tried to murder my husband.

No man is safe with that girl around.

Did you see this Louella? Cider! ─ Chester!

Look, there she is now!

Nude swimming! ─ Whoopee!

Joey! My son! ─ Oh heaven help us.

First the brother, then the husband. Now, the son. Who's next?

Women of Chetwattle Falls, we've had enough!

Personally, it's too much. Our ancestors knew how to deal with women like that.

We're not weaklings. Come .. follow me.

Take it easy Joey. You'll be alright.

You are so beautiful.

What's the rush? ─ I know news when I see it.

Hey, look here Mrs Burke.

You men keep out of this. You've shown yourselves to be cowards.

Not one of you crosses this river.

It's the women's business.

You stay back there, and you too Ida Tate.

Leona, use a little sense. You'll be sorry.

Come on .. we'll show that little one.

You girls will get in trouble. Let that bridge down!

You little Jezebel! ─ Why, what is it?

We've come to give you what you deserve. ─ Why, take your hands off me!

Seems to me, there's a lot of women. ─ I'll stop them.

The higher we get it, the deeper she'll go.

Freeze!

Get out of here Julian Peters!

The leader of the mob!

Julian Peters! ─ Caleb .. perfect ..

Don't you dare put that in The Clarion.

Don't you worry about The Clarion. This is for The United Press.

For heaven's sake .. run, girls .. run!

Why did you start to take pictures? ─ Hold that a minute.

Alright Caleb, pull her in.

Julian, get me out of here! Why didn't you stop them?

I was at the office. I got here as fast as I could.

Oh that was terrible. ─ They'll wish they'd never been born.

Caleb, get me some water.

They came at me like a pack of wolves. ─ Oh, it's all my fault, honey.

It wouldn't have happened if I hadn't printed that fool story.

Julian .. I feel so ashamed.

Listen darling.

Please trust me just a little while longer.

With what I've got right now, I can bust this town wide open.

What I need is another good picture.

Caleb ..

Honey, you're not wet enough. ─ What?

Julian, I hate you! ─ Hold that!

Swell.

How dare these people print such things about me.

Well, you would take the law into your own hands.

Chester, you've been drinking.

I've been drinking and I shall continue to drink as if ..

As if ..

Pardon me .. from now on!

At a time like this, you should keep your wits about you.

At a time like this, it's up to a man to keep drinking ..

To keep from thinking what a fool his wife is.

I made a little mistake .. I admit.

I have apologized. ─ Apologize, nothing!

You're lucky if you stay out of jail.

Jail? .. Chester .. you don't mean it?

That's were you go if Marigold Tate says as much as a word.

Chester, do something!

Alright, I'll have a little drink. ─ Don't let them take me to jail.

I've thought of a plan. ─ Yes?

I'll send you to a sanitarium for a couple of months.

Until the excitement blows over.

Oh, I don't think I'll like that at all.

Then, if there's any more trouble ..

We can put in a plea for temporary insanity.

Chester Burke! Smoking in the house!

You're darn tooting .. light it for me!

Lands-sakes, do you feel worse?

Well, my uncle still hurts and Julian hasn't turned up yet.

You were up and around this morning.

If he doesn't come soon, I'm going to bed and send for the doctor.

That'll bring him.

Maybe that's Julian now.

Hello Ida. ─ Come in Julian.

How are you?

Oh, I'm near wore out fixing the flowers.

We got three more bouquets than Nathaniel Burke's funeral.

And now I've got to got to the ten-cent store and get some more vases.

Hello. ─ I thought you'd never come.

Oh what a day this has been. I never even left the telephone.

My story is in every paper in the country. ─ Oh look, mother sent me this ..

Leaving immediately .. I will kill them. Sign nothing until I get there.

Love to my baby, mother. ─ What does she mean "sign nothing"?

Oh the usual thing: cheap promoters trying to cash in on your publicity.

They'll probably put you in a side-show at the World's Fair.

Oh by the way, something swell happened to me on account of this story.

What?

My old boss wants me back at twice the salary.

Oh wonderful. ─ That's eighty dollars a week.

Eighty dollars a week is a lot of money.

Marigold.

I'll be leaving for New York soon. ─ Oh.

I hope you'll like it there.

You know quite a bit about New York, honey.

Do you think I could live on ten dollars a week?

I thought you said you were going to get eighty.

I am .. and if you could live on the seventy ..

I could swing along on the other ten.

Is that a proposal? ─ Yes .. you want it in writing?

Oh honestly, darling. I can't think about anything else.

I can't eat, I can't sleep .. ─ You are crazy about me.

Yes, doggone it.

What on earth is that?

We've come a long way, she'd better be good.

Good? Perfect! She's Goldie Tate's baby isn't she?

Hello Mrs Tate.

Baby! ─ Mother!

Putting their hands on you! I'll wring their scrawny necks.

But before I go to work on those old hens, we've got something to do.

Oh boys!

Fellahs, here's coffee and cake for the rest of our lives.

Riddled in diamonds and smothered with thousand-dollar bills.

Marigold, meet the boys. And remember, a girl's best friend is her Press-Agent.

Hold it.

Sweetheart, this is "Big-Mouth Dean".

The crookedest agent in the business, and the best.

How do you do. ─ How do you do.

We can make people think that W.C. Fields and Baby Lee-Roy are a brother act!

And that's when they're telling the truth.

Imagine when they start lying. ─ Say, there isn't any place you can't get.

"We" can't get, if you please.

Can't you see the billing? "Goldie and Marigold Tate."

Well ..

Oh this is Mr Peters. He's a newspaper man too. He's the editor of the paper here.

You're the editor of the paper here? ─ Yes.

Julian, this is my mother.

How do you do? ─ I do alright.

Come on boys, turn yourselves loose.

You see baby, they want your story, right from the very beginning.

You tell them the truth, they'll fix it up. ─ Well, let me see.

So what could I do? .. I was one poor little girl against them all.

I did my best, I jumped fences, I climbed trees, but they cornered me.

And then they came at me! Hundreds, thousands, on foot and on horseback.

Don't forget the elephants.

What a tale! ─ What a tale!

What a tale! ─ Nobody said "what a tale".

And with photographs of this baby ..

What did tell you? It's the biggest story since General Grant got shaved.

Why, you're on the big-time for the rest of your life.

Look here, Mrs Tate. ─ I'll see you later.

We've got to get to a telephone while this thing is hot.

But nothing is hot.

Marigold doesn't want to accept any offers to exhibit herself.

Are you telling me what my daughter wants?

Why she's crazy about the stage. ─ Not now!

I thought you sent her out here to keep her off the stage.

I changed my mind. Two weeks ago she would have had to hoof it in a chorus.

Now, she starts from the top.

Dignity. That's what we're going to give her.

My baby .. eighteen years old, and a headline.

You're talking her into making a cheap display of herself.

A cheap display? ─ Well, she's not going to do it, see.

Who is this whippersnapper?

The boy that gave the story to the newspapers.

Is that the best you can do for me? ─ Well I ..

Young lady, I want to talk to you .. ─ Oh you're holding up the parade.

Just a minute mother.

Make it snappy baby. This is everything I've ever dreamed of for us.

Come on, let's get out of here.

What's happened to you?

I didn't know how mother would feel. What it would mean to her.

You're letting that bunch of cheap artists .. ─ Are you talking about my mother?

I'm talking about you.

Don't pretend it's your mother you're thinking about .. I've watched you.

You're crazy to grab that spotlight. ─ Julian, I won't be talked to like that.

Alright then, tell them it's all off. It's all off and you're going to marry me.

I'll do no such thing.

You think I want a wife traveling round in Vaudeville?

I'm not our wife! ─ No, you never will be now!

Good.

Go ahead, make a spectacle of yourself. That's what you want.

This is your big chance.

Here is your star gentlemen.

Teach her to dance and how to do the splits. Bill her as "Goldie Tate's Baby"!

Why you ..

If you ever see me in this town again, shoot me and I'll pay your bounty.

And you're turning the paper over to me? ─ I'm giving it to you.

Well, jumping Judas ..

Hello.

Give me the ticket office at the depot.

Aren't there any instructions you want to leave?

Yeah.

There's one last headline. ─ What's the piece?

Figure it out for yourself.

Hello .. this is Julian Peters .. I want a train to New York on a one-way ticket.

Good morning gentlemen. ─ Good morning.

Good morning boys.

Come and have some of Ida's butter cakes, then we'll get to work.

Swell, where's the baby star? ─ Asleep.

I wouldn't think she'd be able to sleep, with excitement.

She didn't seem so delighted yesterday. ─ She can't realize what's happened yet.

When she does, she'll be as high as her mama.

You can use some of these. ─ I'll take them.

I'll make some for the rest of the boys.

I guess I'd better wake the kid. ─ You let her sleep.

Now we've got work to do.

This is haying time sister, and we've got to bring in the sheaves.

Did you bring your camera?

You let that child sleep, she needs it. ─ Meaning what?

Why, she sobbed most of the night. ─ Oh, you're crazy.

What has a girl in her spot got to cry about?

Goldie Tate, you've forgotten there's anything else in the world but the stage.

I thought you said that she acted queer yesterday.

Yeah .. don't give it another thought.

My bet is, it's that local Horace Greeley that put the headline in the paper.

What are you talking about?

Stage-struck girl gives newspaper man the air.

It's come to me now.

What that baby needs is some horse-sense.

And mama's going to give it to her by way of a hairbrush.

And put her in her place.

It's a brand new day sweetheart. Never been touched.

Hello mama. ─ You're going to be a star.

Aren't you thrilled? ─ Of course.

Well, it's a whole lot better than marrying some poor guy.

And spend the rest of your life wiggling a can-opener.

Is it? ─ You'll have footlights, clothes, jewels.

And a lot of people making a fuss over you.

I guess it will be alright. ─ Oh, put a little zip into the speech.

I had a glimpse of that conceited small-time newspaper cub yesterday.

And if he's the reason for you putting on that long face .. I'll take an aspirin.

He's no such thing. ─ Listen.

I'll lay two to one on Goldie.

I'll take it. The kid has the same blood and is younger.

What if he did live here for two years?

Any guy who can stand this town for two years isn't worth a five-cent phone call.

But he used to be in New York. ─ Used to be! I used to be a brunette.

That round goes to the kid. ─ What did I tell you?

He isn't ordinary I tell you. He's the handsomest man I ever saw.

What's good looks when you're out of potatoes?

He's very well educated. ─ Educated? My Adam's apple.

If he can sign a check, then according to me, that's a college education.

Three-thirty and the battle still rages.

If that kid wins a decision over Goldie, I'll match her with Max Bayer.

It's no use mother .. I love him .. I'm crazy about him.

Why, I'd even live the rest of my life in this dump with him.

You've certainly got it bad, haven't you.

Don't cry baby, don't cry. ─ I'm not .. I'm not.

So far, it's a draw.

You're the swellest kid I ever knew. ─ And you're the greatest mother.

Do you think he'll come back?

He told me never would, that he wouldn't even open a letter from me.

I've got a habit of doing what I set out do do.

And if you want that fresh, no-good mug back again .. I'll get him back.

Hey you .. hey!

Come on boys, wake up and pack up. ─ What for?

The act is off. ─ What?

My little girl is going to be featured in a big scene called "love in a cottage".

So long, boys. See you in New York.

I want to see Julian Peters. ─ He's left town, gone for good.

Where can I find him? ─ He told me to give no address.

Oh, cut himself off from Chetwattle Falls entirely, has he?

I wouldn't say that exactly. He'll be reading The Clarion.

Here's your headline for tomorrow.

I can't print that. ─ Why not?

Why it's censorable.

A little early for a vacation Chief, but I've got to get back to Chetwattle Falls.

What for?

Here's something that has to be taken care of in person.

Don't be a sap. We'll answer it in kind.

Now we can start the wedding. Come over here children.

Marigold Tate, is there any reason known to you why you should not get married?

No.

Julian Peters, is there any reason known to you why you should not get married?

Not a reason.

Is there anyone with the hearing of my voice who objects to this marriage?

If so, let him speak forthwith, or else .. ─ Say Judge ..

Could we ... sort of get in on this? Be united?

Well, it ain't exactly regular .. how about the license?

I've got it.

Well I guess it's legal .. Where was I?

"Is there anyone .." ─ Oh yes, yes ..

Is there anyone within the sound of my voice ..

Oh, how nice .. it's from Joey.

Love .. flaming, passionate love. With kisses that sere and burn.

Say, this ain't for reading in public .. where was I now?

Oh ..

Is there anyone here, within the sound of his voice who objects to this wedding?

NO! ─ Good!

Tg. 2015