Original subtitles

Nowadays, there are cruises for everyone.

Young, old, singles and families.

You can head off on a weekend mini-cruise,

or blow the budget on a year-long round-the-world trip.

Whatever floats your boat, somewhere there's a cruise for you.

I'm Jane McDonald, and 18 years ago, I was a singer on a ship,

that was filmed for a BBC series.

It changed my life, but I'm still crazy about cruising.

I'm going to show you how to get the best

out of any cruise you ever go on.

This time I'm sailing around Canada,

on two different cruises -

a cold water cruise around Alaska...

SHE LAUGHS

..and a fresh water cruise around the Great Lakes.

It's unbelievable!

It's wet and it's windy and it's fabulous!

So come on, what are you waiting for?

All aboard!

My first cruise takes place

in the far northwest corner of the United States, in Alaska -

the largest State in America.

It's bigger than Texas, California and Montana put together,

that's 81,000 times bigger than Wales.

It's huge, and it's empty but it's filled with spectacular scenery -

towering mountains, ancient glaciers,

deep lakes, and wildlife - eagles, bears,

and seas alive with whales.

No wonder it's the world's number one cold water cruise destination,

and I can't wait to get there.

This is huge,

this is what's huge, just look - this is nature at its finest.

I'm in Vancouver in Canada,

it's the starting point for most cruises to Alaska,

a city that's got the lot.

Mountains, water, totem poles...

It's really not at all like Wakefield...

Well, apart from the fact it's raining.

It's a bit like England, in't it, because one minute you can be

in your bikini in the back garden drinking a glass of wine,

the next minute you've got central heating on -

four seasons in one day.

First, breakfast.

Hi, Hi, how are you today? I'm good, how are you?

Good, thank you.

Can I have a cup of tea? Have you got English Breakfast?

We do, we have.

You can't beat a good cuppa,

but wherever I am, I like to try some of the local specialities.

I mean, I've seen some things in here... Beltch? The Beltch...

No, I am not going to have that...

I just thought it was a really funny name and The Fat Cow...

I mean, that's...

Very, very tall burger. I won't have that, either, then.

I really fancy pancakes this morning

because I've heard your pancakes are brilliant here.

We're in the land of maple syrup, so go for it.

Got Caesars, so...

really common breakfast drink here. So it's got Clamato juice, erm...

vodka and Worcestershire sauce.

That sounds like a bloody Mary to me.

"Clamato juice" is tomato juice with added clams, very Canadian.

OK...

Oh, that is spicy...

Ooh... I think I'm going to enjoy being here.

Ah...

There you go. Thank you so much. Enjoy.

Thank you, I will...

Mm. This is so good.

Top tip - come to this place, get phenomenal pancakes that are huge

and always have a Caesar.

Well, that was a first and believe it or not this Alaska cruise

is a new departure for me as well.

This is actually my first-ever cold cruise.

I've never, ever booked or even worked on one that's been cold.

When I worked for Celebrity all them years ago,

as soon as it stopped doing the Caribbean,

I used to go home and do the clubs.

Because I knew it were going off to Alaska

and yet everybody used to rave and get excited about going to Alaska.

Cruising season to Alaska is May to September.

After that, the weather closes everything down.

More than a third of Alaska is inside the Arctic Circle

and winter temperatures average minus 30 degrees centigrade -

and that's cold!

And here she is - the Nieuw Amsterdam,

my home for the next eight days.

There are 1,500 cabins,

staterooms and suites for up to 2,100 passengers.

Wow - that is a beautiful ship.

It's got nice lines, great colour.

A handsome ship, I would say.

Handsome.

It looks like it's going to be nice and classy on there.

It's lovely...

I'm looking forward to getting on now - yay!

Alaska has been a cruise destination for more than 100 years,

and this year more than one million tourists are expected to visit.

Hello, there. Welcome to the Amsterdam.

Thank you, thanks very much.

Hello. I hope you have a wonderful cruise.

I'm sure I will.

You're all set to go right that way. It's exciting, now, innit?

It's raining like mad but it doesn't matter,

cos we're going on us holidays.

Everyone in Canada has been so polite - it's just lovely.

I'm a bit sad to be leaving...

No, I'm not - I'm off to Alaska!

OK...

I love getting on a new ship and finding my cabin.

It's always exciting,

cos even though you've seen it in the brochure,

you never know what it's going to like

till you get in there and check it out.

Ah - nice comfy bed.

Look at all this.

Isn't that lovely? Thank you.

It's 4,500 miles from Wakefield to the start of my journey.

Setting off from Vancouver,

The Nieuw Amsterdam will sail up the Inside Passage - ooh, Matron! -

to Juneau, the capital of Alaska,

and then on to Skagway - the furthest point of our journey.

We then head into to Glacier Bay

and finally south to Ketchikan and back to Vancouver.

I looked at the ship's website

and checked out the weather for this time of year.

It can get down to minus ten.

Let's just say I've brought things

I've never packed for a cruise before.

Firstly...

..balaclava.

You can put it on as a hat.

Extreme conditions underwear.

That'll keep the girls in.

Erm, I've got the pants to match.

They're not the most salubrious, are they?

Look at the flippin' elastic on them.

Whoo!

What else we got?

Emergency blanket.

I think this is really quite good.

One, if you get lost...

..they'll be able to see you, for a start off.

Secondly...

..you're not going to get hypothermia.

SHE LAUGHS

I'm full of great tips for cruising!

Coming up - I take a helicopter...

Oh, wow! Look at that!

..to go sledding...

..I'm overwhelmed by puppy love.

Oh, look... Oh, I'm getting really clucky.

..and I try my hand at cooking,

although our executive chef has nothing to worry about.

It's a little bit more than what I wanted, actually, but... Whoops!

I'm on a cruising adventure around Canada,

and my first leg of the trip

is round the magnificent snow-capped peaks of Alaska.

Good morning. Hello. How did you sleep?

Really well, actually. I'll sleep like a log on here.

I'm on my way to Alaska.

The scenery is breathtaking

and I'm wondering why I never did this before.

The sun was coming through the window at ten past six this morning.

It was when I saw that and I thought, whoa!

So it was like the sun was knocking on the door going,

"Come on! You're in Alaska, come on!"

From Vancouver, we are sailing north up the Inside Passage

to our first stop - Juneau, capital of Alaska.

Juneau is unique in the USA,

it is the only State capital with no roads into or out of it -

it's only accessible by air or sea,

and it sits at the foot of the Mendenhall glacier.

At this time of year,

the temperature can be anything between three and ten degrees.

I've got my vest on, I've got a shirt on,

I've got a jumper on and erm...

I've got my extreme underwear, look.

I don't usually show people my pants.

Trouble is, it's...

it's got quite tight elastic, so it's...

it's given me a bit of a line there.

I'm used to no VPL.

But...but the elastic's pretty...

I think that's the most extreme thing on it, actually,

is the elastic in the top of the legs!

Excursions are a big part of cruising.

They are a great chance to get off the ship and go and see

and do something you normally never would.

Thank you very much, see you later...

See you later.

Dog sledding, for instance.

I've seen it in the movies and never dreamed I could do it -

but today, I am. I'm going dog sledding!

I've got no idea what to expect, but now I'm here and I'm doing it,

I'm really looking forward to it - I've got enough layers on now.

I feel like a Battenberg under here but it's, erm...

Yeah, it's going to be great -

this is summat that don't happen every day.

Thank you.

One thing you can't help noticing when you disembark

is that most ports are filled with people trying to entice you

on all sorts of day trips, photo ops and excursions.

I always try and do at least one thing

away from the touristy bits, and I'm really excited about this trip.

SHE LAUGHS

It's like I'm A Celebrity Get Me Out Of Here, isn't it?

Going on this dog sledding excursion is a bit of an adventure.

I've got to get a helicopter up to the Mendenhall Glacier

and the dog camp.

I can't say I'm not really nervous -

cos I am - but it looks so cool to do!

Hey-hey!

Right, I'm ready.

It's a 15-minute flight up to the glacier.

I've never seen one before and I'm not sure what to expect.

SHE SQUEALS

Oh, my God. We're in cloud, now. We're in cloud.

It's the best thing ever. It's brilliant.

Oh, wow, look at this!

Ooh!

This icefield, which covers 1,500 square miles,

was first formed over 3,000 years ago.

It is invaluable to scientists studying climate change.

By drilling into it, they can discover

how weather patterns have evolved over thousands of years.

This cruise has just turned into one of the best things I have ever done.

Very exciting.

I am a very lucky singer from Wakefield. That's all I can say.

Wow.

Every day, 12 helicopters ferry a maximum of 200 people

up to the glacier for dog sledding

or just the chance to walk here

and discover the majesty of these mountains.

Ooh!

Wow - just look at this, just look at this.

I can't tell you and I have been really rather blase all day,

thinking, "Yeah, I'm going dog sledding or whatever it is, yeah."

And then I saw the helicopters coming in,

and I swear I nearly wet my pants, I nearly did.

It's just so exciting!

It's brilliant.

BARKING

People have been using dogs to pull sleds

since around the time the glacier formed.

Nowadays, skidoos are faster and easier to keep,

so most dog camps like this are for tourists like me

and to keep the tradition alive.

This camp is 3,300 feet up on the glacier.

The handlers and their dogs -

huskies, malamutes and some cross breeds - live and work up here

until winter starts in September or October.

It's not just the working dogs who are here.

There are puppies as well.

Oh, wow.

'And Matt, my dog team owner,

'is going to introduce me to one of them.'

Oh, wow. Who's this?

This is Eleanor. Oh, hello. You hold her like a baby, is that right?

Hello, babes.

Eleanor. Eleanor.

They're only 12 weeks old.

When will her training start?

We usually don't hook them up to the sled

until they're at least eight months old.

Yeah. Oh, God, she's so gorgeous, Matt.

We really only breed for gorgeous looks.

That's the only thing I'm concerned about. Is that right?

Do that personally as well?

They just all look so pretty.

Doesn't matter what they look like.

Are you married? No. No.

To my dogs, I am! How many dogs have you got? I have 42.

You've got 42 dogs?

I think that's why I am single.

No woman wants to live with a man with 42 dogs.

Erm, no woman could compete

with 42 dogs, let's be honest.

Oh, Eleanor. I know...

Hey! Oh!

SHE LAUGHS

Off you go.

Sleds are pulled by teams of up to 16 dogs.

The dogs are paired to work together by personality type.

The older, stronger and more experienced dogs are at the front

with the younger ones behind watching and learning.

When we approach an option in the trail,

I'll just talk to the lead dogs

and tell them which way I want them to go.

They know that? Yeah.

Wow. Yeah, I speak dog language.

H-A-W means go to your left and the letters G-E-E mean go to the right.

There you go. All right.

Gee! To the right, there you go.

So all of these dogs will eventually one day run in the Iditarod which is

a world famous dog sled race. Yeah.

And that's what we train for specifically, just for that race.

The Iditarod course is 1,049 miles long...

..and Matt has entered seven times.

His best effort was in 2014, when he was placed 15th.

It took him 9 days, 16 hours, 42 minutes and 30 seconds.

Ooh, very good, you guys.

Oh, wow.

Well, how was your ride? Oh, I loved it.

You liked it? Absolutely loved it. Thank you so much.

That was one of the most exhilarating things I've ever done,

but I tell you what - being in the clean, crisp mountain air,

sitting down, being pulled around on a dog sled,

and getting a helicopter there and back was completely exhausting.

Ah, look - more little dogs and puppies.

I'm going to have to move you cos I just need to...

I need to just... I need to get rid of that...

I'm cold and I'm tired, but otherwise I'm fine.

From Juneau, we steam 102 miles overnight,

north up the Inside Passage to Skagway.

It was once the gold rush capital of the Klondike,

but now it's here to entertain

the almost 800,000 cruise ship passengers who visit annually.

Having worked on the ships as a singer for eight years,

I discovered cruising's best kept secret.

Staying on board when everyone else gets off.

You have the ship to yourself,

all the staff are still here and places like the spa and the salons

are much less busy.

Hello. How are you? I'm good, how are you?

I'm good. My name is Tamara, I'm doing your treatment today.

Are you ready? Yes, I am. Well, please, come on through.

While most of the 2,000 other passengers head into Skagway

for a day on shore, I'm going to put my feet in Tamara's hands.

Thank you. How do you like your water to be?

Um...quite hot.

Oh, that's perfect.

Just wake me up when you've finished.

Just think, instead of having my feet massaged and pampered,

I could be pounding the pavements window shopping

for things I don't want.

Now here's the Tanzanite.

I'm so glad I'm here instead.

I'm enjoying watching

planes, helicopters,

the clouds on the mountains and having a spa treatment.

SHE LAUGHS

I wonder what everyone ashore is doing now?

Oh, I dunno - probably panning for gold somewhere.

That would be too much hard work for me today.

And now I'm going to do something even more relaxing -

it's time for a massage.

Yup, that's what I'm going to do.

What is that? Bamboo. It's bamboo? Yeah.

Oh.

Bamboo's been used in Chinese and Japanese treatments for years,

but using it like hot stones for a massage is quite a new thing.

JANE GROANS

All right, Jane? Yeah!

Ladies and gentlemen of the Red Onion saloon,

my name is Madam Rosie Peaks.

This gorgeous girl over here is Madam Northern Lights...

One thing I know I'm missing is the melodrama at the Red Onion saloon.

It wasn't just the men who rushed to Skagway looking for gold -

bars, bordellos and brothels all made a mint and they still are.

Well, the bars.

Everyone else is busy being a tourist and here am I hard at work

lying on this heated stone bed.

Ooh. It's hard work, you know, looking good all the time.

It's really hard work.

You just think I turn out every day looking as glamorous as I do?

It's a full-time job, all this maintenance.

I've been manicured, pedicured, and bambooed,

and now I think it's time for a drink.

Hello. Good afternoon. Welcome to our Cabana Club.

Thank you very much.

Oh, my God - I'm in a James Bond movie!

I mean, look, look at that!

There's snow-capped mountains,

there's all that beautiful view and the sun's out,

and I've got a cabana.

Edison, this is very posh up here.

Yeah, it is the most perfect spot in the ship, you know.

So is this just for the rich people?

No, it's for everybody.

Is it? Yeah.

Oh...

Do you recommend this one? One of the highest, erm...

highly recommended wines.

Really? Yes, California Cabernet.

That is so good.

This is mine.

And now It's full steam ahead to our next destination,

Glacier Bay.

Keeping a ship like this - well, shipshape -

takes an army of staff, and at any hour of the day or night,

something is being polished, brushed or swept.

They think of everything here.

It's easy to forget what day it is, so the mats in all the lifts

are changed at midnight.

So thoughtful.

Morning.

Hey, how are you doing?

Good morning! Good morning, good morning, good morning!

Good morning, good morning, good morning!

Yeah, I'll have a bit of scrambled egg.

SHE WHOOPS

Yeah, I'll have a bit of sausage, yeah.

Hi, there.

Look, there's an iceberg.

I never thought I'd get that excited about seeing a lump of ice!

This food is nothing like what I was used to when I worked on the ships.

I never ate this well when I were crew.

You were lucky if you got a cheese sandwich,

but full English Breakfast

when you've been at sea for a long time as a crew member,

is like a real reminder of home and it sounds pathetic,

but that little taste of home just keeps you going.

The food on board any ship is really important and as cruise holidays get

more and more popular, the ships have to come up with increasingly

inventive ways of enticing passengers.

So stick this back on.

Our ship has targeted the foodie market

and have their own TV studio kitchen

where you can release your inner Delia, Nigella,

or Gordon and have the whole thing filmed.

Right. OK, so, I'm going to show you a few little bits...

So we're going to start with the fish and what I want you to do is...

just take a piece off...

Just mind your fingers. I've just had my nails done! I can see.

HE CHUCKLES

Executive chef Colin thinks he's going to get me from no stars

to Michelin stars in 20 minutes -

he'll be lucky.

I'm just not good in a kitchen.

I'm not very good at chopping

because me nails always get in the way.

Em, why are you holding a knife, Jane?

Just in case.

I'm going to be making a pan-fried halibut with pea risotto...perhaps.

Can you use any fish?

Well, we're using halibut now because we're in Alaska

and Alaska's famous for halibut.

We get this fresh in one of the ports.

We're going to make the risotto while the fish is cooking.

Does smell good.

It's good. We got some chicken stock there that we made earlier.

Is it strained? Yeah, it's strained. Very good.

But... A little bit more than what I wanted, actually, but...

'Whoops!'

To go in the risotto, we're going to chop some asparagus.

OK. Right.

Yeah.

Shall I just stick it in? No.

OK. It's OK, it's now a tomato and asparagus risotto.

It's fine. Oh, I'm sorry about that. It works, it works.

Every time I make a mistake, Colin just changes the recipe -

that's my kind of chef.

Oh, I've seen that on MasterChef.

Just because you don't cook, shouldn't cook, wouldn't cook...

doesn't cook...

doesn't mean that you can't on a ship.

Looks very Asian.

It's nice. Yeah. You've done well.

Good job. Thank you.

That's really good. It's good, eh? Mm!

Coming up, the show-stopping highlight of the cruise...

That's a view you don't see every day, isn't it?!

..and I discover the multi-talented lumberjacks of Ketchikan.

THEY CHEER

I'm on a cold water cruise around Alaska in North America and Canada,

and before we get to one of our star attractions...

Oh...

I know this feeling well.

This is the show lounge...

..of which I have spent eight years -

not this particular one -

but many, many years

..as a ship performer.

It's a lovely feeling for me to come in here

and watch the young cast like I used to do 20 years ago - how exciting.

Come on, let's go and meet some of them.

All the performers need to be able to sing and dance.

The standard's really high and it is great training

for a life in showbiz!

Hello? Hi?

This morning, it's the final rehearsals for the show tonight.

So tell us about the shows. Are the shows great?

Yeah. I do, I really do enjoy them.

The music is, erm, much more updated than some shows that I've seen,

so I really enjoy that. So it's quite modern? Yes.

Ooh... But then there's also some good,

like, Whitney Houston hits, and...

You don't think that Whitney Houston's modern?

She would be considered one of the older... artists.

Oh, my God!

Do you get nervous at all before the shows? Sometimes...

A little bit. Yeah? You see, we were totally unprofessional

20 years ago.

We used to have music going but then a quick brandy just to get us down.

THEY LAUGH

Which, of course, is so unprofessional.

No, take no notice of what I just said...

Well, listen - good luck and break a leg. Sorry, break a leg.

I know.

And thank you for letting me in to see you all.

Thank you. Thank you so much.

Bye. Bye. Bye.

I didn't really drink that much...

Yeah, we did. But we had a good time, you know.

I've noticed that the youngsters of today are very clean-living,

they're all very health-conscious.

You know? We were just...

just not!

LAUGHS

We were shocking.

I love being backstage, but we've arrived in Glacier Bay

and the real show-stopper is outside.

Despite their size and might,

glaciers are fragile things and to protect them

and their environment,

only two cruise liners a day are allowed in here.

Good grief! That's a view you don't see every day, innit?

This is the Margery Glacier.

It's 350 feet tall and stretches back 21 miles into the mountains

in the distance.

Just look at that, it's just breathtaking.

It's like being in Game Of Thrones, innit?

RUMBLE

Oh, I heard that, then!

WOMAN: It was like breaking ice. It was, wasn't it?

The noises were the icebergs creaking

and a lot of them fall, so that's what the big thunder claps were.

Ooh.

When you see something as grand as this and nature's force,

you realise how insignificant you are, compared to the...

the wonderment of what you're surrounded by.

This is huge. This is what's huge, look.

This is nature at its finest.

This glacier is awesome,

and that really is the only word to do it justice.

Good morning. Good morning.

Would you like to try some Dutch pea soup? I'd love some.

It's a Holland America Line tradition. Mm.

We typically make it the day before and let it stand overnight.

Oh, that's...

They always say the best pea soup is a soup

where you can stick the spoon in upright

and it will stay like that.

It's like mushy peas. We put this on fish and chips at home,

it's really nice. Glad you're enjoying it.

Yes, I am. Enjoy the views. Thank you.

This is...

such an experience.

This is definitely not my typical cruise holiday

and I'm mad with myself for missing out on such great trips.

I want experiences and adventures in life,

and this has been the start.

Been fantastic.

We've travelled 1,400 miles so far and are now heading to Ketchikan

and I'm quite excited because I've heard

it's the lumberjack capital of Alaska.

There's wildlife everywhere,

but you generally have to look quite hard to see it.

Not today.

The eagle was a real show-off.

It went round and it just went, "Hello, I'm here."

And everybody got the cameras, "Oh, missed it."

And it thought, "No, you haven't."

Went round the ship and came back and went "W-a-a-a!"

SHE LAUGHS

Ketchikan used to be the heart of the Alaskan timber trade,

but nowadays it's biggest money-spinner is tourism

and catering for cruise passengers, just like me.

Every passenger has got a certain budget,

every passenger has got a certain amount of money

that they want to spend.

And they will spend it,

and if you can get them into your shop, that's it.

Have you got money to spend, Jane? Nothing.

Tight, I think, is the word. Tight.

SHE LAUGHS

Shall we go here?

Oh, look at these...

Baby lumberjacks.

Is this the look of the land here?

Yes, this is the look of our land. Yeah?

I generally try to avoid the really touristy things

because they can be a complete rip-off...

but a lumberjack show?

Let's just say I didn't take too much persuading.

One, two, go...

I never thought I'd be interested in wood or timber -

how wrong could I be?

These guys are all proper working lumberjacks,

as well as great entertainers.

CHEERING

And this show is based on things they really do when they're...

well, lumberjacking.

Oh!

Oh, my God. He just fell and he...

astride...

Bang! Right on his...nuts.

..a logger's worst nightmare. How does it feel?

It's not good, there's a huge crack.

LAUGHTER

Good fun.

I enjoyed that.

This is a family business,

and Cassandra has just got married to one of the lumberjacks.

Which one's yours, then?

Um... He is on the far left in the silver hat...

I know. Yeah.

It's Thomas. Damn!

Those biceps could be a little bigger,

but we won't hold that against him.

He looks fine to me. He is so funny!

What is the attraction of a lumberjack?

I think it's the fact that you get the athletic side

of someone who's in great shape,

gets out there and does a dangerous job every day...

Erm, they're always fun, they're always really good-looking.

Just like an all-round man's man, in my opinion.

Yeah, yeah, and you married one, didn't you? I did.

Yeah. My mistake.

Hello, boys. That was absolutely great. Thank you very much.

Thanks. I'm Jane. I'm Ray. Really nice to meet you. How are you doing?

Nice to meet you. Hi, Thomas, nice to meet you too.

Hi, Junior. Really nice to meet you.

How's the erm...? Oh, you know the water's cold, so, erm...

Yeah... Wedding tackle - not great.

Great to meet you.

Hi. So you're all athletes and everything, aren't you?

Yeah, we all keep track of when we win, when we lose

what events we're winning and losing and everything...

Nobody likes to lose. No. So we're out here, we're trying, yeah.

So you how do you keep so fit, then?

Do you have a routine or a special diet?

We're doing this four times a day.

That will keep you fit. And you just got married to Cassandra.

I did, yes. And the broken hearts - there's people with broken hearts...

I am so sorry. ..all over the nation...

Are you all married? No.

So, hey, girls and boys, he's still single.

Still some lumberjacks just up for grabs.

Once you lumberjack, you never lumber back.

God, you're real, sort of, men, aren't you?

LUMBERJACKS: Yeah!

I want to be her.

Left hand on top, right hand on the bottom...

Anything to stay a little longer,

so I agreed to see if I had what it took.

It's almost like taking a step up.

Hey! SHE LAUGHS

That's how it works! There you go. Now pull that rope up... Right.

THEY CHEER

Careful. You're trying to use that rope

to pull yourself close to the tree.

CHEERING

CHEERING There you go.

THEY CHEER

SHE WHOOPS

SHE SQUEALS

That's not for me, it's a bit too manly.

HORN BLARES Oh, morning.

It's almost time to say goodbye

to this beautiful scenery and landscape.

This has been so much more interesting than I expected,

but there's still one more party.

INDISTINCT CHATTER

# Once a jolly swagman sitting by the billabong

# Under the shade of the coolabah tree

# He sang as he watched and waited till his billy boiled

# You'll come a-waltzing Matilda with me... #

Everybody!

# Waltzing Matilda, waltzing Matilda

# You'll come a-waltzing Matilda with me... #

We love good old sing-song and that's what it's all about.

You've all had a drink, you've all had a great meal,

got to know each other all week and...

and you want to... You actually don't want it to end.

And it is like, "Oh, there's my friend, there's my friend...

"let's have a sing-song and a drink."

And it doesn't get any better than that, really.

That's what cruising's all about -

making new friends and making new memories.

# ..You'll come a-waltzing

# Matilda with me! #

Aussie, Aussie, Aussie!

AUDIENCE: Oi, oi, oi! Yeah!

What a fabulous trip.

I am a complete convert to the cold water cruise,

with dramatic landscapes and different experiences.

My next cruise takes me 3,553 miles west across America,

to a new adventure round The Great Lakes.

Straddling the border between the US and Canada,

these natural wonders are roughly the size of the entire UK.

Only a handful of cruise lines sail them.

For those that do,

one of the favourite departure points is Detroit,

home of America's auto industry

and, of course, the birthplace of Motown.

Hi, I'm Jane.

Jane McDonald. Hang on one second, ma'am.

McDonald, Jane - you're in room 407. Yep.

OK, you got it on your tag here? I have. All right.

We'll have the baggage handlers take the bag for you, ma'am.

Go ahead and enjoy your cruise. Thank you so much.

You're welcome. Bye. Bye-bye.

Nice fella, in't he?

The Victory II is 20 years old

and feels like a cross between an ocean liner

and a traditional river cruiser.

She's got five decks and 101 cabins

for up to 200 passengers.

I've also heard she's just been spruced up,

so I can't wait to check her out.

Hi! Welcome on board.

Nice to see you! And you!

How are you doing?

Now, sea cruise, river cruise, lake cruise,

whichever one you go for, it's the same deal.

Oh, this is nice, in't it?

Step one, check in and collect your room key.

Is it in here?

Hi.

Um, I give this to you, is that right? Yes.

What's your cabin number? Do you know? 407. 407.

Jane? Yes.

OK, here is your room key. The Wi-Fi password is on the back.

Step two, go to the purser's office.

This is where you register your credit card,

so then it's not real money -

all you use is that. Don't be fooled.

So, everything that you get, goes on your credit card,

so don't think it's like Monopoly cos it's not.

It comes out of your bank account.

Miss Jane McDonald. That's the one.

Step three, check what's actually included in your package,

and remember, even if your food and drinks are covered,

you will probably have to pay for any extras

like a posh bottle of wine...

..or three.

Gorgeous day.

Step four, find your cabin.

409...

407, here we go.

Oh, it helps if you use your key.

Right.

Oh, wow this is lovely and cosy!

Aw, this is really nice.

There's all the mod cons you'd expect -

air conditioning, satellite TV

and a fridge with free sodas.

Or pop as we call it.

And then we have...

..our wardrobes.

Here we go, watch your step.

Let's have a look here.

We've got a shower. This is great.

I like two sides because I like plenty of room

to put my own things in there.

So, yeah,

everything you need.

She's certainly a sturdy ship,

but that's exactly what she needs to be

to navigate the vast, and sometimes freezing,

stretches of fresh water that make up the Great Lakes.

There are five in all

and I'll be taking in the sights of two of them -

Erie and Ontario.

We'll be cruising down to Cleveland

before nipping over the Canadian border at Niagara.

After taking in Toronto, we'll coast by Kingston

and catch the sights in Quebec,

then we'll head back down the Saint Lawrence River,

before making our final call in Montreal.

10pm and sail away.

Say what you like about American cities,

but the skylines illuminated at night and reflected on the water

really are spectacular.

But, for me, with nine days of action-packed cruising ahead,

I think it's time for lights out.

Coming up,

I get stuck into the gastronomic delights of Cleveland...

Oh! Right, I'm sorry, I'm going in.

..and rock up at the musical hall of fame.

Petula Clark! Such a star, Pet Clark. Right?

I'm cruising around Canada on the second leg of my tour

around The Great Lakes.

Morning. HORN BLARES

We've sailed 87 miles south on Lake Erie overnight,

and now I've had my sleep,

nothing's going to get me down - even this!

This is Cleveland.

Apparently, massively industrial in the 1900s...

..but, unfortunately, not any more.

Places like this make up the so-called Rust Belt of the USA

but, like many former factory towns,

its enjoying a resurgence.

Alongside a string of new attractions,

there are the traditional ones.

And, today, I am visiting the grandest of all,

the West Side Market.

Thank you very much. You're welcome.

I've got my red ticket. I'm off.

Good morning. Good morning.

And I've got company.

Being Americans, most of my fellow passengers

aren't used to staycations with this sort of weather,

but I'm from Yorkshire!

This is just like being at home for me.

But never mind, we're on vacation, aren't we?

We're on holiday!

We're going to have fun. We're going to have fun. Yeah, we are.

Yeah, we are. Fun! Yeah, fun. Yeah.

Good morning!

Welcome aboard Lolly the Trolley.

My name is Rosalind and I will be your driver and guide today.

Don't worry, blue skies are coming.

You don't have to be part of a cruise to book this,

as Lolly and the other trolleys do public excursions.

They start at £13 for an hour -

a snip when you've got Rosalind to share her local knowledge.

Well, Cleveland was founded

in 1796

by a Connecticut Yankee

named Moses Cleaveland.

The city's position on the lake made it ideal for manufacturing

and transporting goods.

In the 1800s,

it became a magnet for eastern European immigrants

looking for work.

The West Side Market was built to cater for them

and other communities

and, a century on, it's still a hotbed of diversity.

Today, you walk inside

and you can still hear all different types of languages being spoken

at our beautiful West Side Market.

Right, come on, team.

Oh, wow, look at the roof.

Yeah, look at the ceilings.

Look at the ceilings.

This 44-feet-high tiled arch

is a masterpiece.

No wonder the market's been voted one of America's

ten great public places.

Pasta.

You can't beat it.

This dried up packet stuff is just not the same, is it?

Well, I've never had fresh,

so I don't know. Have you not? Oh, wow.

I need to try that. Oh, it does taste good, fresh pasta. I'm sure.

This is my new American buddy, Linda, by the way.

We both love to chat

and adore a good sausage.

We're mostly German descent

and the town that we come from has a bratwurst festival.

Really! So if they have bratwurst,

we want to see if they taste like our bratwurst.

Oh, those are hot dogs, not bratwurst.

Apparently, all the stalls here let you try before you buy.

Wow, look at that - nut crispies.

Being British and reserved,

I don't like to ask. Hi...

Linda, on the other hand.

Do you have free samples? Yes.

Look, free samples. Free samples!

Oh!

It's very good.

Anchovies. Ooh, they look good.

This says this popcorn is hot.

How hot, is it? Let me try one.

Ooh.

Ooh, it is hot. It is hot?

Oh!

Oh! Oh-ho-ho!

That is really spicy. Whoopsy!

I've also been told

there's some great food outside the market as well.

Apparently this is the best comfort food you'll ever taste. Ah.

Hi. Hello, ma'am, how are you doing?

I'm good, how are you?

Hello? Hello.

How are you doing? Hi.

Hi. What is in a Polish Boy?

This is all a sandwich

with Polish sausage... Right.

..slaw, topped with fries

and Seti's barbecue sauce. Wow.

Mm.

So that's like everything in a sandwich. Yes.

It's a whole meal in a sandwich.

Can I try one?

Absolutely.

In fact, I am going to have one, two, three, four, five.

Five? Five. Oh!

JANE LAUGHS

We're all going to have this together.

We're all going to go in together.

Seti and wife Marsha launched their Polish Boy 20 years ago,

and it's since been voted one of the best sandwiches

in all of America.

Oh!

Right, I'm sorry, I'm going in. Oh, she's going in.

Oh, my God. There's a lot of fries on there. Yeah. Mm!

Oh, my goodness.

Mm. It's really bad...

..but it's really good.

Personally, I'd stuff myself with this all day,

but the one Seti really has to impress

is my fellow passenger, Linda.

Mm. The sausage is very good.

I like when you bite into it, it's...

Yeah, its good a good bite. ..it snaps or something.

It's crispy.

After years of decline,

Cleveland's a city on the way up,

and this is one of the reasons why -

the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame,

now attracting nearly 600,000 visitors each year.

Now, loads of American cities are linked to music,

but, here's why they plonked the Hall of Fame in this one -

the term "rock and roll" was born right here

by a guy called Alan Freed, who was a DJ.

He was also one of the first broadcasters to play R&B

on his radio show back in the '50s.

Not only that,

he hosted the world's first rock and roll concert -

the Moondog Coronation Ball,

right here in Cleveland.

True, it ended in a riot

when 20,000 teens turned up,

but it did cement the city's place

in popular music history.

To get into the Hall of Fame,

you have to have been in the music business for at least 25 years

or if, like me, you're a fresh-faced wannabe

with all your career still ahead of you,

then you can queue up and pay around 25 quid to get in

like everybody else.

Hi! Hi, Jane!

Hi. So good to see you. Good to see you.

My guide Anwaka is taking me on a tour of seven floors,

all of them rammed with memorabilia.

So, this is...

Jane, this is Aretha Franklin's dress.

This is her gown. This is what she wore at her Radio City performance.

Wow.

You know, you don't realise what impact that has,

just looking at that. Right.

Because you can just picture her in it.

The exhibits are arranged by artist, style,

city and era.

I think Anwaka's guessed my favourite.

Dusty Springfield's jacket! Yes.

Here, on this side, we have a beautiful gown

from Petula Clark. Petula Clark!

Petula!

Yes, absolutely, I mean...

Such a star, Pet Clark. Right?

Right? Amazing songs.

Is that Gerry and the Pacemakers there. Yes.

Gerry Marsden, look at... Yes.

Gerry Marsden in the Rock and Roll of Fame where he should be.

These people are still - The Dakotas, Gerry and the Pacemakers -

they're still all working in the UK.

Those sounds are so unique.

You can't dismiss it.

No, you can't at all.

Well, what a treat that was

and what a shrine to some of the greatest names in music.

So, after saying cheerio to Ohio,

we're now heading 180 miles north on Lake Erie

to the Niagara River.

Here, we'll sail through Welland Canal,

then hop on a bus

to one of the great natural wonders of the world.

Right.

It's an hour's drive from the ship to Niagara.

But what a drive.

And what a first impression of Canada.

So exciting. I've just been waiting for this, for such a long time.

And I'm finally here.

Our excursion of the Falls comes as part of the cruise package.

There's so much to see, if you are doing the Great Lakes,

but I wouldn't miss this one for the world.

Are you ready for this excitement?

Do you know, I am, I'm really excited about this.

Wait till you get under that rush.

Coming up, I get a close-up view of the Niagara Falls...

I'm absolutely wet through.

It was like being in a car-wash!

SHE SCREAMS

..with the full Niagara experience.

This is amazing!

I'm cruising round The Great Lakes on my Canadian trip.

And today we're at the amazing Niagara Falls.

We're booked on the Hornblower Catamaran which will take us

right up to the base of the Falls, all for an £18 ticket.

One thing to remember,

is more than 12 million people visit here every year,

so, plan your trip well in advance, and consider booking ahead online.

Wow. Look at that! Look at that!

The catamarans leave every 15 minutes, they hold

up to 700 passengers, who all get the complimentary ponchos.

Fetching, eh?

Ooh!

Everybody has made their way upstairs,

because they think that's the best view.

It isn't, it's here. Exactly the same view,

but there's a lot more protection.

The Falls were formed at the end of the Ice Age,

when masses of melting glacier water gushed through

the Niagara River, cascading over cliffs, into Lake Ontario.

And it was the water's force,

that gave the Falls their renowned horseshoe shape.

You know, Niagara was an Indigenous word.

Aha.

From "Onguiaahra", which means "thunder of waters".

Wow.

That's why we have... It's the roaring water, from the Falls.

Thunder of waters.

Amazing. Now, we are going to get really wet.

Going to get wet.

Let's just go in there.

SHE LAUGHS

We're getting wet. We're getting wet!

You know what, I'm just going to go out there and embrace it,

I'm going to go out.

Look at this.

Look at this!

Wow!

It's very, very wet, but it is unbelievable.

It's amazing!

This has been fascinating. I've come to the Falls numerous times.

Really?

Never taken the boat over. Wow!

It's the power of nature. It is the power of nature.

Fantastic.

SHE LAUGHS

Oh, my gosh!

I'm absolutely wet through. It was like being in a car-wash.

It was...

Or a big tumble dryer.

But it was exhilarating, to see nature like that

and the force of water.

It was so exciting.

Just loved every single minute!

And, you know what, there's an equally spectacular way to see it.

A few years ago, some bright spark came up with a novel idea.

Put a zip wire across the Niagara River, he said.

Well, in 2016, they did it, and in 2019

I'm going to try it.

Are you scared, as well?

I'm scared, you know...

I've just started getting really scared, have you?

I'm glad it's not just me!

No, I think it's everybody.

Like the catamarans, it's wise to book the zip wire ahead, to avoid

the queues, because the longer the wait, the more frayed the nerves.

Must admit, my mouth and my throat have gone really dry.

Because I, erm...

My adrenaline's going like mad.

When I saw it online, I thought, "Oh, gosh, that looks great,

"let's have a go," but actually, I'm here

waiting to queue up and it's...

It's a long way down.

220 feet, or 67 metres down, to be exact.

And the zip wire stretches nearly 700 metres.

And if that's not scary enough,

I'll be flying through the air at 40mph.

I think I'm going to be fine,

I'm just going to watch a couple of people.

My mouth is so dry, I can't even begin to tell you.

I don't know why...

..why I'm doing this but...

I'll be fine.

I'll be fine!

Pull it up, and then over your shoulders like a backpack.

Ah-ha. Are you nervous?

Yes. Don't be, it's not that bad.

I know.

Whoo.

All right, can you put your left leg up for me?

Yeah. Right. Oh, hello.

Oh, that chafes a bit.

All right, sit down. It's going to be the comfiest thing

you ever sit on. Oh! Yeah. Lean back a bit. Yeah. All right.

Why am I doing this? Oh, my God.

Aaaah!

SHE LAUGHS Whoo!

Oh, my God, this is amazing!

Oh, wow!

Oh!

Oh, this is fabulous! Look at me!

Whoo!

Aaaah!

Yay! Wow!

Look at this day!

Oh, whoa!

Yes!

Yes, here we go! Oh, my! Aaaah!

SHE LAUGHS Oh, God.

OK, it may not have been the most graceful landing in the world,

but who cares when you're having so much fun!

Oh, my God! Oh. How was your flight?

Oh, it was brilliant.

It was so good.

It was much better than I thought.

Bye, Niagara. I've definitely "fallen" for you.

During the night, my ship left the splendour of Niagara Falls,

and headed north on Lake Ontario, to hip and happening Toronto.

Let's go! I wonder what we've got here.

Look at this skyline.

Do you know, I really love Canada.

I really do love Canada.

And that's the beautiful thing about a cruise.

You can go and see little bits of it

and then see which is your favourite.

And then go back and visit.

Oh, look, I match the decor today.

Good morning. Good morning. How are you?

I'm really well, how are you? Great.

To help us get our bearings,

the cruise line's laid on a city bus tour

and given us a lovely guide named Phil.

It's my job to tell you probably more than you need to know,

over the next few hours about Toronto.

Canada was part of the British Empire for over 100 years.

And Toronto was originally named York! Now I do feel at home.

It's just stunning. Absolutely stunning.

This is a place I could live.

Especially in one of them houses!

Please.

The architecture here is so varied, from the futuristic CN Tower,

once the world's tallest, to this Gothic style castle,

Castle Loma.

Thank you.

But there are more great sights off the usual tourist trail, like this.

It's a fountain of dogs!

Berczy Park was an old parking lot, until it was brought to life

with the unveiling of its canine fountain, in 2017.

It's called Jacob's Ladder and there's 27 dogs,

plus one lonely cat.

I like the fact they've got a bone on the very top.

The local artist was commissioned to design the piece after

winning a public competition.

He gets my vote, too.

I think it's really quirky, and I think it's really great.

Now I'm back on the ship and it's cocktail hour.

Oh, well, one more for the road.

And then maybe have an early night.

Ta-ra! An au revoir!

Toodle-ooh, Toronto, what a fabulous day.

It's exceeded all my expectations, I've had a fabulous time.

Cheers, everyone.

Coming up,

a little bit of an English tradition in French Quebec...

I presume the changing of the guards is all about

the guards changing over!

Are you ready to get wet, wild and crazy?

..and I wonder if I've made the right decision

about the Montreal Rapids.

I'm on the next leg of my journey.

After leaving Toronto behind overnight,

we're heading north towards Kingston.

It's where we'll join the Saint Lawrence River

and say bonjour to Canada's French province, Quebec.

Two days it'll take us, but then, there's a lot of water to cover.

It's really hard to believe that I am on a lake cruise,

because it's so big, it feels like I'm on the ocean.

It feels like I'm at sea, but all that water is fresh.

And, it was all frozen at one point.

So, all the lakes, the US lakes and the Canadian lakes,

come from a glacier.

Which is quite incredible, really, isn't it?

We're now cruising up the Saint Lawrence River,

where you will find The Thousand Islands.

Sound familiar?

Well, yes, the dressing really did get its name from here -

thanks to a fisherman's wife,

who made the sauce to serve with her husband's fish supper.

Or so the story goes.

What's definitely true is that the islands have been

a retreat for the American and Canadian rich

since the 19th century,

and they're still home to some of the most elaborate mansions.

Every house is different, every house has its own story.

Every house has its own island.

The Victory II continues its way up the Saint Lawrence.

740 miles of waterway connecting The Great Lakes

to the Atlantic Ocean.

And, taking in our next destination,

Quebec City.

Oh, what a beautiful day.

I've even got my arms out.

I'm going solo this morning.

Heading out to explore the old part of the city.

It was originally a fur trading post, and the French were

the first Europeans to settle here, way back in 1608.

Now, it says here on t'interweb that Place-Royale - which is this,

Old Quebec - is one of the oldest cities in North America,

and the birthplace of French Canada.

This really is a handsome city,

and though it may be 3,000 miles from France,

there's an unmistakably Parisian vibe.

Now, I know I've been saying this place is very French,

but there's also something very, well...British.

BUGLE PLAYS

I never thought I would travel to Quebec in Canada

to watch the changing of the guards.

The Citadelle of Quebec is Canada's oldest military barracks,

and home to its only French-speaking regiment -

the Royal 22nd, or Van Doos.

Created just after Canada left the British Empire, it took inspiration

from our own Grenadier Guards, right down to the bearskin hats.

Its colonel-in-chief is the Queen, who even stays here whenever she's

in town, and every day, you can come and watch the guards changing,

just like Buck House.

I presume the changing of the guards

is all about the guards changing over.

SHE LAUGHS

What's lovely about this is that so many French Canadians turn

out to watch, even though it conjures up thoughts of Britain.

Still, I've said it before, wherever you

are in the world, there's something about men and women in uniform.

Over the last nine days, I've been blown away by the beauty

and splendour of North America's Great Lakes.

But like all adventures, this one has come to an end.

Overnight, my ship headed back down the Saint Lawrence River to

make its final stop, in Montreal.

Thank you. Thank you. Bye!

Now, my flight home doesn't leave until tonight,

so I could go and explore some of the city's great sights,

like the Olympic stadium, or this giant snow dome.

But I've chosen something a little more daredevil instead -

a boat ride on the Montreal Rapids.

Are you ready to get wet, wild and crazy? Oh, am I going to get wet?

Oh, for sure. This is like a submarine ride in a convertible.

Oh! We guarantee you're going to be wet,

otherwise we throw you overboard.

Oh, dear.

I booked this ride in advance online.

More fool me.

They show you a video which, quite frankly,

frightens the life out of you.

Then, you get to put on your safety gear.

I've opted for as much of it as possible.

Hiya.

That's me done.

Banana! SHE LAUGHS

I don't suppose this is the best look I've ever had.

Other more flattering safety outfits are available,

as demonstrated by my fellow passengers.

OK, you look so... But I look like a minion!

SHE LAUGHS That's funny.

This is not funny, is it?

I mean you look really buff and gorgeous,

I look like something that the cat dragged in.

Ooh.

Right, I haven't even set off yet, and I've got white knuckles.

This boat was specially designed to cope with the Rapids

and can reach up to 50mph, which is fun! Apparently.

SCREAMING

Now, usually, at this point, I'd give

you an interesting fact or two about what I'm doing, but not now -

not when I'm stuck on a spin cycle.

And just for the record, the yellow poncho doesn't keep the water out.

Finally, it's all over.

It's been an experience,

and while I'm not quite sure if I'd do it again,

it's taken me out of my comfort zone,

which is what adventures are all about.

You know, before I booked this trip,

I could see it was geared towards the older cruiser,

who likes a gentle pace.

But, if you plan ahead, you can add some-action packed stops

and enjoy the best of both worlds.

I've seen some incredible sights, made some fabulous friends,

and, as for the music... well, nothing can match motown.

# Ain't no mountain high

# Ain't no valley low

# Ain't no river wide enough, baby

# If you need me, call me

# No matter where you are

# No matter how far

# Don't worry, baby

# Just call my name

# I'll be there in a hurry

# You don't have to worry

# Cos, baby, there ain't no mountain high enough

# Ain't no valley low enough

# Ain't no river wide enough

# To keep me from getting to you, babe

# Remember the day I set you free

# I told you you could always count on me, darling

# From that day on

# I made a vow

# I'll be there when you want me

# Some way, somehow

# Baby, there ain't no mountain high enough

# Ain't no valley low enough

# Ain't no river wide enough

# To keep me from getting to you, babe

# Oh, no, darling

# No wind, no rain

# Or winters cold

# Can stop me, baby

# No, no, baby

# Because you are my goal If you're ever in trouble

# I'll be there on the double Just send for me

# Oh, baby

# Ain't no mountain high enough

# Ain't no valley low enough

# Ain't no river wide enough

# To keep me from getting to you, baby. #

SHE CHUCKLES

Stop laughing.

Subtitles by Red Bee Media