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1
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♪
2
00:00:05,095 --> 00:00:08,805
Wow! Caddying for the King
at the charity golf weekend!
3
00:00:08,807 --> 00:00:11,477
If only the kids on the school golf team
could see me now.
4
00:00:11,478 --> 00:00:14,556
Too bad they all gave each other syphilis
at golf camp and went blind.
5
00:00:14,563 --> 00:00:17,823
- Huh?
- Golf camp was crazy.
6
00:00:18,650 --> 00:00:21,650
I hate golfing with the other kings.
7
00:00:21,653 --> 00:00:24,163
♪
8
00:00:26,700 --> 00:00:28,538
All that bullshit chit-chat.
9
00:00:28,539 --> 00:00:31,155
I hope King Topher gets eaten
by an alligator this year.
10
00:00:31,162 --> 00:00:34,169
Well, while you and the other kings
chase each other's balls around,
11
00:00:34,170 --> 00:00:37,125
I'm going to kick back, relax,
and scream at the servants.
12
00:00:37,127 --> 00:00:38,627
Some real "me" time.
13
00:00:38,629 --> 00:00:40,629
Actually, you'll be doing none of that.
14
00:00:40,631 --> 00:00:43,551
It's Queen Collette's birthday weekend
on Spa Island.
15
00:00:43,552 --> 00:00:46,469
Son of a bitch!
Birthdays are one day!
16
00:00:46,470 --> 00:00:48,808
Why should she get to kill
my whole weekend?
17
00:00:48,809 --> 00:00:51,216
Uh, forgive me for asking,
your Highnesses,
18
00:00:51,224 --> 00:00:54,522
but if you're both gone,
who will run the kingdom?
19
00:00:54,523 --> 00:00:56,649
We'll let Bungles do it.
Bungles!
20
00:00:56,650 --> 00:00:58,856
[fanfare playing]
21
00:00:58,857 --> 00:00:59,977
[whistle blowing]
22
00:00:59,984 --> 00:01:01,943
[circus music playing]
23
00:01:01,944 --> 00:01:04,361
Who...? Meeeee...?
24
00:01:04,362 --> 00:01:07,531
- [audience cheering]
- [laughing] That's his catch phrase.
25
00:01:07,532 --> 00:01:08,574
I know.
26
00:01:08,575 --> 00:01:13,365
“Look, I'm the Queen!
Off to the spa to get my butthole waxed!”
27
00:01:13,371 --> 00:01:14,789
[dishes crashing]
28
00:01:14,790 --> 00:01:16,510
- [King chuckling]
- I hate when he does me.
29
00:01:16,534 --> 00:01:20,648
[laughing]
No, stop! I'm gonna pee.
30
00:01:21,714 --> 00:01:24,344
Bungles, you're in charge
till we get back.
31
00:01:24,345 --> 00:01:26,131
Don't start any wars!
32
00:01:26,134 --> 00:01:29,929
- Who? Me?
- [whistle blowing]
33
00:01:29,930 --> 00:01:32,140
♪
34
00:01:36,937 --> 00:01:39,147
[upbeat music playing]
35
00:01:40,858 --> 00:01:42,528
[horse whinnies]
36
00:01:44,277 --> 00:01:45,987
[indistinct crowd shouting]
37
00:01:45,988 --> 00:01:48,568
Where the hell are we?
Where's the golf course?
38
00:01:48,574 --> 00:01:50,994
[rock music playing]
39
00:01:53,537 --> 00:01:54,837
[vibrating]
40
00:01:57,249 --> 00:01:59,667
[cheering]
41
00:01:59,668 --> 00:02:02,498
Of course this isn't
a charity tournament.
42
00:02:02,504 --> 00:02:03,838
This is a cesspool.
43
00:02:03,839 --> 00:02:06,629
A cesspool of shrimp cocktail!
[chomping]
44
00:02:06,633 --> 00:02:10,553
- Who are these people?
- You fool! This is Chill Society!
45
00:02:10,554 --> 00:02:14,020
A secret congregation
of the most powerful men in the world!
46
00:02:14,021 --> 00:02:18,016
Kings, lords, popes,
and that guy with all the mattress stores.
47
00:02:18,020 --> 00:02:21,730
History doesn't just happen!
It's decided... here!
48
00:02:21,732 --> 00:02:25,571
So, it's crucial that King Merriman's
first year hosting is successful!
49
00:02:25,572 --> 00:02:26,988
It's gotta be perfect!
50
00:02:26,989 --> 00:02:28,446
King Topher hosted last time,
51
00:02:28,447 --> 00:02:30,237
and it's all
anyone talked about for months.
52
00:02:30,240 --> 00:02:33,369
Farm-to-table, vision board,
juice bar bullshit!
53
00:02:33,370 --> 00:02:35,327
I'm gettin' back to basics, baby!
54
00:02:35,328 --> 00:02:38,458
- Dicks, chicks, and guitar licks!
- [rock guitar playing]
55
00:02:38,459 --> 00:02:40,037
[trumpet fanfare]
56
00:02:40,042 --> 00:02:44,545
Announcing Rami IV, The Desert Sultan!
57
00:02:44,546 --> 00:02:46,416
Rami! How's the pyramid?
58
00:02:46,423 --> 00:02:50,013
The basement's awesome,
but the penthouse is a real letdown.
59
00:02:50,014 --> 00:02:51,550
[trumpet fanfare]
60
00:02:51,553 --> 00:02:55,140
Anthony Saltine, the Mattress King!
61
00:02:55,141 --> 00:03:00,101
Heeey, Tony Saltine, Tony Saltine!
How ya sleepin', Merriman?
62
00:03:00,104 --> 00:03:02,983
You look terrible!
Let me fix you up with a new mattress!
63
00:03:02,984 --> 00:03:05,279
Can't afford it?
Layaway, my friend!
64
00:03:05,280 --> 00:03:08,525
Not interested?
How about no interest for 12 months?
65
00:03:08,528 --> 00:03:09,988
You're robbin' me blind!
66
00:03:09,989 --> 00:03:11,989
I... I don't need a deal
on a fucking mattress!
67
00:03:11,991 --> 00:03:15,534
Perfect! Full freight!
Get it off the truck, boys!
68
00:03:15,535 --> 00:03:16,825
Dammit, he gets me every year.
69
00:03:16,829 --> 00:03:20,706
TONY: Hey! Tony Saltine, here!
How ya sleepin', huh?
70
00:03:20,707 --> 00:03:22,207
[trumpet fanfare]
71
00:03:22,208 --> 00:03:25,586
King Christopher from The Baylands!
72
00:03:25,587 --> 00:03:28,047
Why so formal?
Call me Topher.
73
00:03:28,048 --> 00:03:29,548
What the hell is that?
74
00:03:29,549 --> 00:03:30,928
[bicycle bell chimes]
75
00:03:30,929 --> 00:03:32,546
- Where's your horse?
- I'm in training.
76
00:03:32,552 --> 00:03:34,971
I'm doing a triathlon next month
raising money
77
00:03:34,972 --> 00:03:37,769
to combat leprosy-linked illiteracy
among illegitimate illustrators.
78
00:03:37,770 --> 00:03:40,516
Why don't you hide your lepers in caves
like civilized people?
79
00:03:40,519 --> 00:03:43,019
[laughs]
Merriman, you are a pip!
80
00:03:43,022 --> 00:03:45,860
Let's catch up over a glass of rosé later.
Maybe jam a little.
81
00:03:45,861 --> 00:03:47,728
- [drumming]
- Absolutely not.
82
00:03:47,734 --> 00:03:50,277
Tony Saltine, is that you?
83
00:03:50,278 --> 00:03:52,197
Don't you walk away
until I buy a mattress!
84
00:03:52,198 --> 00:03:54,488
[trumpet fanfare]
85
00:03:54,491 --> 00:03:58,285
Announcing...
I don't know who that is.
86
00:03:58,286 --> 00:04:01,246
Ruben the Rogue, King of the Forest!
Where's the taco bar?
87
00:04:01,247 --> 00:04:03,287
- [crashing]
- Just park it anywhere.
88
00:04:07,295 --> 00:04:09,875
[screaming, grunting]
89
00:04:09,882 --> 00:04:13,634
[panting]
Nobody crosses the King of the Forest!
90
00:04:13,635 --> 00:04:15,635
I'll have revenge on you all!
91
00:04:16,722 --> 00:04:22,476
I will avenge you, Wolfie!
[howling]
92
00:04:22,477 --> 00:04:25,147
[dance music playing]
93
00:04:25,981 --> 00:04:28,481
Here's to Queen Collette's
birthday weekend!
94
00:04:28,483 --> 00:04:30,151
Party, bitches!
95
00:04:30,152 --> 00:04:33,700
I'm so beyond thrilled to spend
this weekend with my ride-or-dies!
96
00:04:33,701 --> 00:04:36,157
What better way to spend my 29th birthday?
97
00:04:36,158 --> 00:04:37,478
[under breath]
Oh, Jesus Christ.
98
00:04:37,502 --> 00:04:40,793
So, this Queen-tinerary
will blow your panties off!
99
00:04:40,794 --> 00:04:44,707
We've got a mud bath, a sound bath,
a lotta group baths.
100
00:04:44,708 --> 00:04:46,837
Can't wait to see what's new in pubes!
101
00:04:46,838 --> 00:04:50,085
I'm warning you right now, my husband,
the Mattress King Tony Saltine...
102
00:04:50,089 --> 00:04:51,889
that's Tony with a “Y,”
I'm Toni with an “I”...
103
00:04:51,913 --> 00:04:53,680
anyway, he likes a big bush.
104
00:04:53,681 --> 00:04:55,715
And then we open presents!
105
00:04:55,719 --> 00:04:58,809
We all chipped in
on one big gift this year.
106
00:04:58,810 --> 00:05:01,635
Everyone put on your birthday crowns!
107
00:05:01,641 --> 00:05:04,476
Maybe when I'm a little drunker, Cleo.
108
00:05:04,477 --> 00:05:06,727
Oh, no, this is a dry weekend!
109
00:05:06,730 --> 00:05:08,397
♪
110
00:05:08,398 --> 00:05:11,898
We're drinking sparkling cider.
I'm five months sober, everyone!
111
00:05:11,902 --> 00:05:13,652
[glasses clinking]
112
00:05:13,653 --> 00:05:14,953
[glass shattering]
113
00:05:16,406 --> 00:05:18,576
Oops. I'll be right back.
114
00:05:19,409 --> 00:05:20,889
[whispering]
Why did you invite her?
115
00:05:20,913 --> 00:05:23,753
[whispering] I had to.
Her King is friends with my King.
116
00:05:24,372 --> 00:05:25,622
[trumpet fanfare]
117
00:05:25,624 --> 00:05:30,003
Welcome to the 485th Chill Society!
118
00:05:30,004 --> 00:05:32,046
[cheering]
119
00:05:32,047 --> 00:05:34,337
Let's chill!
120
00:05:34,341 --> 00:05:36,641
♪
121
00:05:40,973 --> 00:05:42,273
[laughing]
122
00:05:49,690 --> 00:05:52,030
[loud chomping]
123
00:05:52,776 --> 00:05:55,106
KINGS: [chanting] Light as a feather,
stiff as a board...
124
00:05:55,112 --> 00:05:56,992
Light as a feather,
stiff as a board...
125
00:05:56,993 --> 00:05:59,199
[laughing]
126
00:05:59,908 --> 00:06:03,448
So, Gregory, Isaac.
How do we avoid this war?
127
00:06:03,453 --> 00:06:06,372
You've got 50 warships.
You've got an unmarried daughter.
128
00:06:06,373 --> 00:06:09,380
And they've both got some nice cannons.
Do we have a deal?
129
00:06:09,381 --> 00:06:11,746
Doesn't that daughter of yours
have a jacked-up nose?
130
00:06:13,463 --> 00:06:16,093
Oh, it's war you want?
131
00:06:16,925 --> 00:06:18,835
Well, come at me, brother!
132
00:06:19,678 --> 00:06:21,258
Now, now, Gregory.
133
00:06:21,263 --> 00:06:24,311
Your son's no looker
since that horse fell on his face.
134
00:06:24,312 --> 00:06:26,638
He should take the offer
that's on the table.
135
00:06:26,643 --> 00:06:30,396
- Oh, fine.
- Now... let's seal the deal!
136
00:06:30,397 --> 00:06:32,227
[both sniffing]
137
00:06:32,983 --> 00:06:36,944
- Ah, yes!
- [Kings cheering]
138
00:06:36,945 --> 00:06:39,905
[muffled cheering in distance]
139
00:06:39,907 --> 00:06:41,697
We oughta start our own secret club!
140
00:06:41,700 --> 00:06:43,870
Yeah!
And not invite any of them!
141
00:06:43,871 --> 00:06:45,995
Only forest kings allowed!
142
00:06:45,996 --> 00:06:47,705
[roaring]
143
00:06:47,706 --> 00:06:50,206
- And Honeypants, of course.
- [roars]
144
00:06:50,209 --> 00:06:53,129
I'm so sorry.
Doctor Honeypants. [chuckles]
145
00:06:56,673 --> 00:06:59,513
Sweet Christmas, boy!
Got enough shrimp?
146
00:06:59,514 --> 00:07:01,799
I call my mouth my shrimp-hole.
147
00:07:01,803 --> 00:07:04,638
Hmm. Shrimp-hole you say?
148
00:07:04,639 --> 00:07:06,559
I have an idea. Come with me.
149
00:07:06,560 --> 00:07:08,638
Is there shrimp where we're going?
150
00:07:08,643 --> 00:07:11,443
I thought I'd be working
a charity weekend,
151
00:07:11,444 --> 00:07:15,108
and instead I'm stuck
at this satanic frat party.
152
00:07:15,109 --> 00:07:17,947
You could feed a whole kingdom
for a year on what this costs.
153
00:07:17,948 --> 00:07:19,815
BLARNEY:
I know, pretty bitchin', right?
154
00:07:20,572 --> 00:07:24,370
- Blarney? What are you doing here?
- I'm the entertainment, man!
155
00:07:24,371 --> 00:07:26,488
It's my first time
doing a corporate event.
156
00:07:26,494 --> 00:07:28,164
I even wrote some new material.
157
00:07:28,165 --> 00:07:33,418
“If your swimming pool is a moat...
you might be a king.”
158
00:07:33,419 --> 00:07:35,128
Is that the punchline?
159
00:07:35,129 --> 00:07:39,215
“If your storage unit
is a storage castle... ”
160
00:07:39,216 --> 00:07:43,094
Oh, c'mon, who has a storage castle?
That is pretty broad.
161
00:07:43,095 --> 00:07:45,095
Patrick, I need you to go
to the storage castle.
162
00:07:45,097 --> 00:07:46,397
- Told ya.
- [clown horn honking]
163
00:07:46,401 --> 00:07:48,226
The ceremonial hunt starts in an hour,
164
00:07:48,227 --> 00:07:50,845
and if I don't have my special
Chill Society Sword,
165
00:07:50,852 --> 00:07:52,440
the weekend isn't perfect!
166
00:07:52,441 --> 00:07:53,978
My father was the last one to use it.
167
00:07:53,981 --> 00:07:56,481
We put all of his shit
in the storage castle after he died.
168
00:07:56,483 --> 00:07:59,193
Ask the guard to grab it.
Don't go poking around.
169
00:07:59,194 --> 00:08:01,321
[crowd moaning]
170
00:08:01,322 --> 00:08:03,532
I would be thrilled to go.
171
00:08:04,574 --> 00:08:06,624
♪
172
00:08:08,329 --> 00:08:11,205
Ah, there you are, sweet nectar.
173
00:08:11,206 --> 00:08:15,126
Time to water the tulips.
[glugging]
174
00:08:15,961 --> 00:08:17,261
[gasps]
175
00:08:19,840 --> 00:08:24,350
Ooh, these purses are defective.
I'm taking them back to the workshop.
176
00:08:26,513 --> 00:08:29,849
[horse galloping, whinnying]
177
00:08:29,850 --> 00:08:31,940
[wind blowing]
178
00:08:33,854 --> 00:08:36,105
Ready! Aim!
179
00:08:36,106 --> 00:08:38,856
No! I'm here by order of the King!
180
00:08:38,859 --> 00:08:41,319
Hmm... what's the password?
181
00:08:41,320 --> 00:08:43,610
“S! xty-n! ne.”
But spelled out, capital S,
182
00:08:43,613 --> 00:08:45,743
and the I's are exclamation points.
183
00:08:45,744 --> 00:08:47,950
[portcullis rumbling]
184
00:08:49,119 --> 00:08:51,078
Oh, yeah, the ceremonial sword.
185
00:08:51,079 --> 00:08:53,579
I think we was using it
to kill a spider last week.
186
00:08:53,581 --> 00:08:54,881
Imma go grab it.
187
00:08:58,379 --> 00:09:00,508
Where's, uh, King Merriman's portrait?
188
00:09:00,509 --> 00:09:04,006
Don't ask questions, don't move,
and don't touch anything!
189
00:09:11,392 --> 00:09:15,395
Wow. This statue of the Old King
is really lifelike.
190
00:09:15,396 --> 00:09:18,146
- Boo!
- [both screaming]
191
00:09:20,526 --> 00:09:22,186
[crows cawing]
192
00:09:22,194 --> 00:09:24,611
[laughing]
Ah! You found me!
193
00:09:24,612 --> 00:09:27,872
Sometimes I'm here five, six hours!
No one notices!
194
00:09:27,873 --> 00:09:30,946
You're... you're the Old King!
195
00:09:30,952 --> 00:09:34,209
Old King?
I'm the only king, you little weirdo.
196
00:09:34,210 --> 00:09:35,536
But... you're dead!
197
00:09:35,541 --> 00:09:39,251
Dead?
No, no, just hiding from the plague!
198
00:09:39,253 --> 00:09:42,053
So, how are things out there?
Pretty bleak, right?
199
00:09:42,054 --> 00:09:46,547
Streets littered with the dead?
Crows pecking out their eyeballs?
200
00:09:46,552 --> 00:09:49,312
Does anyone remember laughter?
201
00:09:51,974 --> 00:09:56,519
Uh, your... Highness?
The last plague was 12 years ago.
202
00:09:56,520 --> 00:09:59,108
- And it killed you!
- Killed? Who told you that?
203
00:09:59,109 --> 00:10:02,775
Um, everybody?
There's like 18 books written about it.
204
00:10:02,776 --> 00:10:04,856
Oh, if I were dead, could I do this?
205
00:10:04,861 --> 00:10:07,780
[tap dancing, grunting]
206
00:10:07,781 --> 00:10:08,781
[farts]
207
00:10:08,782 --> 00:10:13,122
[gasps] Oops.
Better go change my pants.
208
00:10:15,539 --> 00:10:18,629
CROWD: [chanting]
Shrimp club! Shrimp club! Shrimp club!
209
00:10:22,379 --> 00:10:25,089
Okay, boy, now I've got
a lot of money riding on you,
210
00:10:25,090 --> 00:10:27,130
so don't fuck this up.
211
00:10:27,134 --> 00:10:31,679
Three, two, one...
Shrimp fight!
212
00:10:31,680 --> 00:10:34,307
- [crowd cheering]
- [gulps]
213
00:10:34,308 --> 00:10:36,976
- Shrimp-ressive!
- Eat, you fool!
214
00:10:36,977 --> 00:10:38,307
[loud chomping]
215
00:10:38,312 --> 00:10:40,312
♪
216
00:10:42,065 --> 00:10:44,525
There's a serious grain shortage,
Your Grace.
217
00:10:44,527 --> 00:10:47,397
If we don't figure it out,
the kingdom will starve.
218
00:10:47,404 --> 00:10:48,863
You must do something!
219
00:10:48,864 --> 00:10:51,494
Who? Me?
220
00:10:52,201 --> 00:10:53,535
Yes. You.
221
00:10:53,536 --> 00:10:56,156
Actually, I'm kind of
an agricultural wonk.
222
00:10:56,163 --> 00:10:58,164
I jestered on a commune in the '60s.
223
00:10:58,165 --> 00:10:59,495
Let's just take a look at this chart.
224
00:10:59,500 --> 00:11:01,540
Make an adjustment here...
that number can change...
225
00:11:01,564 --> 00:11:03,024
and how does this work for you?
226
00:11:06,673 --> 00:11:08,383
We're all going to die.
227
00:11:09,426 --> 00:11:11,176
And this is the War Room
228
00:11:11,178 --> 00:11:14,638
where I get updates
on our ongoing conflict in the South.
229
00:11:14,640 --> 00:11:18,440
But mostly it's where
I have lunch and watch my stories.
230
00:11:18,441 --> 00:11:23,395
That one's Vanessa. She's a spy!
And a vampire.
231
00:11:24,441 --> 00:11:28,698
Sire, has it ever occurred to you
that perhaps there is no plague anymore?
232
00:11:28,699 --> 00:11:30,025
And if there's no plague,
233
00:11:30,030 --> 00:11:33,990
maybe your son sent you here
so he could be king?
234
00:11:35,619 --> 00:11:39,664
[gasps]
That... that little shit.
235
00:11:39,665 --> 00:11:42,785
They're not even my friends!
They're barely allies.
236
00:11:42,792 --> 00:11:45,961
And they're so superficial!
I hate them all.
237
00:11:45,962 --> 00:11:47,131
Of course you do!
238
00:11:47,132 --> 00:11:50,630
They're vapid, arrogant, materialistic,
inbred turnip women!
239
00:11:51,552 --> 00:11:55,137
[both laughing]
240
00:11:55,138 --> 00:11:58,518
Oh, I can't believe I'm having
this much fun with a pirate.
241
00:11:58,519 --> 00:12:02,097
And for a queen, you suck way less
than I would have imagined!
242
00:12:02,104 --> 00:12:05,694
I always dreamed of being a pirate
when I was a girl.
243
00:12:05,695 --> 00:12:08,441
But life had other plans for me.
244
00:12:08,444 --> 00:12:10,534
You want to be a pirate?
Be a pirate!
245
00:12:10,535 --> 00:12:12,529
Let's clean this place out!
246
00:12:12,531 --> 00:12:15,328
Say, you wouldn't believe
the expensive piece of shit
247
00:12:15,329 --> 00:12:16,784
we bought Collette for a group gift.
248
00:12:16,785 --> 00:12:18,825
They made you do a group gift?
249
00:12:18,828 --> 00:12:21,418
KAREN:
I think a group gift is nice.
250
00:12:22,541 --> 00:12:24,831
- Shut up, Karen.
- And, please, for the love of God,
251
00:12:24,834 --> 00:12:26,844
point your vagina elsewhere.
252
00:12:27,837 --> 00:12:29,046
We'll need a diversion.
253
00:12:29,047 --> 00:12:31,966
And I've got just the thing
back on my ship.
254
00:12:31,967 --> 00:12:35,887
CROWD: [exhaustedly chanting]
Shrimp fight. Shrimp fight.
255
00:12:37,681 --> 00:12:38,981
[gulps]
256
00:12:40,142 --> 00:12:41,482
Finish him.
257
00:12:43,019 --> 00:12:44,319
[gasping]
258
00:12:45,439 --> 00:12:48,524
[slurping, gulping]
259
00:12:48,525 --> 00:12:51,025
[crowd cheering]
260
00:12:51,027 --> 00:12:52,947
[gong tolling]
261
00:12:54,406 --> 00:12:57,616
[belches]
Where am I?
262
00:12:57,618 --> 00:13:00,998
If we hurry,
we can still make Lasagna Club!
263
00:13:02,247 --> 00:13:03,914
All right, everybody!
264
00:13:03,915 --> 00:13:06,915
- It's clown time!
- [cheering]
265
00:13:07,919 --> 00:13:10,959
Okay, this is it, Blarney.
It's your one shot.
266
00:13:10,964 --> 00:13:14,467
This is your one oppor...
[vomits]
267
00:13:14,468 --> 00:13:16,888
All right, I ate too much spaghetti.
268
00:13:17,680 --> 00:13:19,639
[crows cawing]
269
00:13:19,640 --> 00:13:22,769
I'm the rightful king!
You gotta help me get my throne back!
270
00:13:22,770 --> 00:13:26,688
Overthrow the kingdom?
I'm just here for the sword, man!
271
00:13:26,689 --> 00:13:29,479
Ah, the Chill Society.
272
00:13:29,483 --> 00:13:33,319
A bunch of kings
making deals in some back room
273
00:13:33,320 --> 00:13:34,950
and jerking each other off!
274
00:13:34,951 --> 00:13:36,614
I'm a traditionalist.
275
00:13:36,615 --> 00:13:41,035
The way to solve your problems
are with massive battlefield casualties!
276
00:13:41,036 --> 00:13:43,906
The only part I miss
is the ceremonial manhunt.
277
00:13:43,913 --> 00:13:44,955
Manhunt?
278
00:13:44,956 --> 00:13:48,876
Yes. You know,
they say clown meat tastes funny.
279
00:13:48,877 --> 00:13:52,457
And let me tell you something:
[chuckles] it does.
280
00:13:52,464 --> 00:13:55,132
I'm sorry. Clown meat?
281
00:13:55,133 --> 00:13:57,303
♪
282
00:14:01,473 --> 00:14:03,979
- Shit, Blarney!
- Hey, look... I found a memento!
283
00:14:03,980 --> 00:14:06,135
- [clown horn honking]
- [screaming]
284
00:14:09,565 --> 00:14:10,815
Uh-oh.
285
00:14:10,816 --> 00:14:12,686
[trumpets playing]
286
00:14:14,111 --> 00:14:15,411
[arrows thudding]
287
00:14:18,073 --> 00:14:20,793
How many times am I gonna take
a comedy gig
288
00:14:20,794 --> 00:14:22,985
only to be hunted for sport?
289
00:14:22,994 --> 00:14:25,460
- KING GREGORY: Ha-ha! Fore!
- [canon blasting]
290
00:14:25,461 --> 00:14:26,956
- Ahhh!
- [tree crashing]
291
00:14:27,999 --> 00:14:31,168
I knew there was no way
Blarney would get paid for comedy.
292
00:14:31,169 --> 00:14:34,338
If I help you break out of here,
will you ban clown hunting?
293
00:14:34,339 --> 00:14:35,339
Absolutely!
294
00:14:35,340 --> 00:14:38,800
It'll be the first thing I do
after I legalize bestiality,
295
00:14:38,803 --> 00:14:42,472
sell poor people as lunch meat,
and implement an electoral college.
296
00:14:42,473 --> 00:14:45,063
[nervous laugh]
Oh, God, I gotta get out of here.
297
00:14:45,768 --> 00:14:48,018
Well, hell, I'm sorry that took so long.
298
00:14:48,019 --> 00:14:51,149
We was using it to get the dog's
tennis ball out from under the couch.
299
00:14:51,150 --> 00:14:53,778
- Thanks! Well, gotta go!
- Hey! Wait a minute!
300
00:14:53,779 --> 00:14:56,736
Did you talk to him?
This is bad!
301
00:14:56,737 --> 00:14:59,567
Ready the horses, Patrick!
This one's mine!
302
00:14:59,573 --> 00:15:00,782
- Stab!
- [screaming]
303
00:15:00,783 --> 00:15:04,118
- Oh, my God!
- I sharpened Vanessa into a shiv!
304
00:15:04,119 --> 00:15:06,159
Stab! Stab! Stab! Stab! Stab! Stab!
305
00:15:06,831 --> 00:15:10,251
Hey, FYI, bit of a situation
in the Hall of Statues, thanks, bye!
306
00:15:10,252 --> 00:15:12,250
[horse whinnying, galloping]
307
00:15:15,255 --> 00:15:19,045
Ooh, it's time for presents!
308
00:15:22,763 --> 00:15:24,347
Oh, my God! You guys!
309
00:15:24,348 --> 00:15:26,518
Now I've got a matching set
for the guest bath!
310
00:15:26,519 --> 00:15:27,847
It's from all of us!
311
00:15:27,852 --> 00:15:31,022
I also got you a mattress fit for a queen.
You'll love it!
312
00:15:31,023 --> 00:15:33,939
- This is a raid!
- [screaming]
313
00:15:33,940 --> 00:15:35,980
Pleased to meet you, Your Majesties!
314
00:15:35,984 --> 00:15:39,028
You can call us...
the Plunder from Down Under!
315
00:15:39,029 --> 00:15:40,329
[record scratches]
316
00:15:41,532 --> 00:15:44,992
- [cheering]
- [Queen Cleo giggling]
317
00:15:44,993 --> 00:15:46,331
[dance music playing]
318
00:15:46,332 --> 00:15:49,458
It's exactly what I wanted!
How did you know?
319
00:15:52,626 --> 00:15:54,126
[coins jingling]
320
00:16:02,803 --> 00:16:05,179
[slurps]
Hi, I'm Collette,
321
00:16:05,180 --> 00:16:10,020
and... sobriety's a slippery slope!
Yeah!
322
00:16:12,521 --> 00:16:13,861
[panting]
323
00:16:15,190 --> 00:16:17,230
[grunting]
324
00:16:19,653 --> 00:16:23,033
The King isn't the king,
my brother's gonna die,
325
00:16:23,034 --> 00:16:25,700
and I just dropped all of my change.
326
00:16:25,701 --> 00:16:28,201
This day is the worst.
327
00:16:29,580 --> 00:16:31,000
And now I have to pee.
328
00:16:31,001 --> 00:16:32,667
♪
329
00:16:34,960 --> 00:16:37,628
Ho, ho, ho!
Feast your eyes, boys!
330
00:16:37,629 --> 00:16:40,339
We caught ourselves an adult male virgin!
They're endangered.
331
00:16:40,340 --> 00:16:42,929
Goddammit, Ruben,
let me out of here!
332
00:16:42,930 --> 00:16:45,797
The kings are doing a manhunt,
and Blarney's the man!
333
00:16:45,804 --> 00:16:48,431
Hmm... I bet ruining their manhunt
334
00:16:48,432 --> 00:16:51,439
would make things
pretty un-chill for those elites,
335
00:16:51,440 --> 00:16:53,394
with their exclusionary
membership practices!
336
00:16:53,395 --> 00:16:55,435
[sighs]
Yeah, plus, we'd save our brother.
337
00:16:55,439 --> 00:16:57,229
Remember? The important part.
338
00:16:58,817 --> 00:17:01,487
Finally! I need the sword
to carve up the clown!
339
00:17:01,488 --> 00:17:04,356
What does hunting a clown
have to do with diplomacy?
340
00:17:04,364 --> 00:17:07,202
Everything!
You normies wouldn't understand!
341
00:17:07,203 --> 00:17:09,370
A king can't truly trust another king
342
00:17:09,371 --> 00:17:11,998
until they've soaked
in the blood of a clown together.
343
00:17:11,999 --> 00:17:14,497
Clown blood greases the wheels of power.
344
00:17:14,499 --> 00:17:16,129
Now let's go, caddy!
345
00:17:16,961 --> 00:17:19,131
♪
346
00:17:26,219 --> 00:17:29,099
- I think I saw him run this way!
- KING GREGORY: Victory!
347
00:17:29,100 --> 00:17:30,887
[Kings cheering]
348
00:17:30,891 --> 00:17:32,809
Uh-oh!
[both screaming]
349
00:17:32,810 --> 00:17:34,140
[gasps]
350
00:17:35,145 --> 00:17:36,555
[screams]
351
00:17:37,147 --> 00:17:38,566
- [logs whooshing]
- [splattering]
352
00:17:38,567 --> 00:17:40,315
What the hell is going on?
353
00:17:40,734 --> 00:17:42,034
[ding]
354
00:17:43,069 --> 00:17:45,069
♪
355
00:17:45,071 --> 00:17:46,741
[bush rustling]
356
00:17:50,327 --> 00:17:51,697
There he is.
357
00:17:52,788 --> 00:17:55,668
- [roaring]
- Oh! Clown decoy!
358
00:17:56,834 --> 00:17:59,044
- [panting]
- [shrieks]
359
00:17:59,045 --> 00:18:01,505
- [panting]
- [screaming]
360
00:18:02,381 --> 00:18:04,091
[grunting]
361
00:18:04,842 --> 00:18:06,592
Who is responsible for this?
362
00:18:06,593 --> 00:18:08,513
King of the Forest! Yeah!
Fuck off!
363
00:18:08,514 --> 00:18:10,596
It's the ghost of Robin Hood!
364
00:18:10,597 --> 00:18:12,517
I'm Ruben the Rogue, dumbass!
365
00:18:12,518 --> 00:18:14,934
Well, now I know who to kill!
366
00:18:14,935 --> 00:18:16,775
On second thought,
it was all Patrick's idea!
367
00:18:16,799 --> 00:18:19,969
[nervous laugh]
Ahhhh!
368
00:18:21,067 --> 00:18:24,857
Oh, you little nerd!
Why would you ruin my hunt?
369
00:18:24,862 --> 00:18:27,200
Because hunting humans
for entertainment...
370
00:18:27,201 --> 00:18:30,366
even clown humans, before you say it...
is wrong.
371
00:18:30,367 --> 00:18:34,497
- I'm still puttin' this on my resume!
- [clown horn honking]
372
00:18:39,543 --> 00:18:42,294
Here's your cut.
You earned it.
373
00:18:42,295 --> 00:18:44,795
I don't need money.
I did it for the kicks.
374
00:18:44,798 --> 00:18:47,967
The kicks?
The kicks don't have to end!
375
00:18:47,968 --> 00:18:50,386
Join my crew.
Karen did.
376
00:18:50,387 --> 00:18:53,267
Shiver me timbers!
I'm a pirate now!
377
00:18:54,058 --> 00:18:59,854
You're the queen of the high seas,
but I'm a less metaphorical kind of queen.
378
00:18:59,855 --> 00:19:02,975
I have responsibilities
I can't run away from.
379
00:19:02,983 --> 00:19:06,069
QUEEN COLLETTE:
The statue is gone!
380
00:19:06,070 --> 00:19:07,946
Goodbye, Coral.
381
00:19:07,947 --> 00:19:09,697
♪
382
00:19:13,035 --> 00:19:16,905
It's not “goodbye.”
It's “to be continued.”
383
00:19:16,914 --> 00:19:19,634
♪
384
00:19:24,880 --> 00:19:28,507
QUEEN COLLETTE:
My birthday is ruined! [sobbing]
385
00:19:28,508 --> 00:19:31,008
[chuckling]
386
00:19:31,762 --> 00:19:35,014
Aw, c'mon, guys!
Chill Society's not over!
387
00:19:35,015 --> 00:19:36,305
We couldn't kill a clown,
388
00:19:36,308 --> 00:19:38,687
but you don't want to miss
the X-rated hypnotist!
389
00:19:38,688 --> 00:19:41,645
Sons of bitches.
Thanks for ruining Chill Society,
390
00:19:41,647 --> 00:19:45,024
AKA the one weekend a year
I get to myself!
391
00:19:45,025 --> 00:19:46,585
The rest of my fall, if you're curious,
392
00:19:46,609 --> 00:19:48,783
is just Little League games and play-dates
393
00:19:48,784 --> 00:19:51,819
and macaroni-and-cheese and no handjobs.
394
00:19:51,824 --> 00:19:55,618
You'll pay for this, Merriman!
Cash, no credit!
395
00:19:55,619 --> 00:20:00,289
You never get a second chance
to host your first Chill Society.
396
00:20:00,290 --> 00:20:03,880
You should take this enormous failure
and journal about it.
397
00:20:05,129 --> 00:20:06,339
See what you did?
398
00:20:06,340 --> 00:20:09,338
Our Kingdom is fucked,
and I look like a real dick swab!
399
00:20:09,341 --> 00:20:12,301
I hope you like dungeons,
because that's where you're going!
400
00:20:12,302 --> 00:20:14,428
I mean, unless you actually
do like dungeons,
401
00:20:14,429 --> 00:20:16,059
in which case
I'll find somewhere worse.
402
00:20:16,060 --> 00:20:19,056
- So, you know, please be honest about it.
- Honest?
403
00:20:19,059 --> 00:20:22,979
The way you've been honest
with the whole kingdom about your daddy?
404
00:20:22,980 --> 00:20:25,064
- [gasps]
- Oh, that's right!
405
00:20:25,065 --> 00:20:27,395
I know your deepest, darkest secret,
406
00:20:27,400 --> 00:20:30,820
so I think we call this one a draw!
407
00:20:30,821 --> 00:20:32,697
♪
408
00:20:32,698 --> 00:20:34,698
- Uh...
- Aw, fine.
409
00:20:34,700 --> 00:20:37,284
So, you talked to the Old Boob, huh?
410
00:20:37,285 --> 00:20:40,365
Do you really think
he should be king instead of me?
411
00:20:40,372 --> 00:20:43,541
No way. Have you heard
his electoral college idea?
412
00:20:43,542 --> 00:20:47,802
What is it with that man
and equally weighted state representation?
413
00:20:47,803 --> 00:20:52,756
[sighs] I'm sorry your weird
cult weekend got ruined.
414
00:20:52,759 --> 00:20:55,928
- I'm sorry you blackmailed me.
- Oh, my God.
415
00:20:55,929 --> 00:20:59,227
I've been a squire for a month
and I already blackmailed the king.
416
00:20:59,228 --> 00:21:00,515
What's become of me?
417
00:21:00,517 --> 00:21:03,686
What is that, a soliloquy?
Good job, Hamlet!
418
00:21:03,687 --> 00:21:05,307
Let's get the hell outta here.
419
00:21:05,313 --> 00:21:10,026
Pack my things!
And cancel the X-rated hypnotist!
420
00:21:10,027 --> 00:21:11,777
And where the hell is Blinkerquartz?
421
00:21:11,778 --> 00:21:14,197
Who's got room for Pie Club, huh?
422
00:21:14,198 --> 00:21:16,198
BROTH: [groaning]
Oh, God.
423
00:21:19,327 --> 00:21:23,206
I'm so glad to be home!
I can't wait to see Bungles!
424
00:21:23,207 --> 00:21:27,667
- Probably drunk in the moat again.
- Oh, I hope so! I love that bit!
425
00:21:28,461 --> 00:21:31,047
♪
426
00:21:31,048 --> 00:21:32,506
[gasps]
Assassin!
427
00:21:32,507 --> 00:21:34,127
[whispering echoes]
Assassin!
428
00:21:34,134 --> 00:21:38,470
Bungles, noooooooooo!
429
00:21:38,471 --> 00:21:42,558
- [labored breathing]
- You must hang on!
430
00:21:42,559 --> 00:21:47,059
Who... me?
[coughs, chokes]
431
00:21:49,357 --> 00:21:53,777
[crying]
Heaven just got a little more hilarious.
432
00:21:53,779 --> 00:21:57,029
[sobbing]
433
00:21:57,032 --> 00:22:00,042
[King wailing]
434
00:22:02,788 --> 00:22:04,788
♪
435
00:22:35,821 --> 00:22:37,911
CHILD: That was amazing!
33090
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