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sync & correction by f1nc0
~ Addic7ed.com ~
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00:00:03,152 --> 00:00:06,021
- No, no, no, I'm telling you...
- I hear you telling me,
3
00:00:06,022 --> 00:00:07,822
- and I'm telling you you're wrong.
- No way.
4
00:00:07,823 --> 00:00:10,424
You know and I know
that I'm right.
5
00:00:10,426 --> 00:00:12,326
How would you know if you're
right about anything?
6
00:00:12,328 --> 00:00:14,061
It'd be a completely foreign feeling.
7
00:00:14,063 --> 00:00:16,665
- Quitting time.
- It's not quitting time.
8
00:00:16,666 --> 00:00:19,801
- And yet here I go.
- Wait. Settle an argument.
9
00:00:19,802 --> 00:00:22,231
Remember when we were ten years
old, and Hank and I burried
10
00:00:22,266 --> 00:00:25,040
- something in a coffee tin in the woods?
- No. See you tomorrow!
11
00:00:25,041 --> 00:00:27,576
We told you about this.
We had a red coffee tin,
12
00:00:27,577 --> 00:00:29,578
and we put something inside it
and buried it.
13
00:00:29,579 --> 00:00:34,049
Ah, the red coffee tin!
No. I gotta go.
14
00:00:34,050 --> 00:00:35,851
It's Darts Night,
and as League Commissioner,
15
00:00:35,852 --> 00:00:37,152
I'm in charge of setting it up.
16
00:00:37,153 --> 00:00:40,821
Right, no one else knows
how to take darts out of a jar.
17
00:00:40,823 --> 00:00:43,357
It's not a jar, it's a canister.
18
00:00:43,359 --> 00:00:45,693
And at least I know
what's in mine.
19
00:00:45,695 --> 00:00:48,230
Quality burn.
And I'm done arguing.
20
00:00:48,231 --> 00:00:50,331
We put half a pack of
cigarettes in that tin.
21
00:00:50,333 --> 00:00:52,868
- Period.
- Nope. It was a bag of weed.
22
00:00:52,869 --> 00:00:56,070
It was not weed!
We never had weed in our lives.
23
00:00:56,072 --> 00:00:57,706
Why would we have weed?
24
00:00:57,707 --> 00:01:01,143
Why would we bury cigarettes?
Cigarettes aren't illegal.
25
00:01:01,144 --> 00:01:03,911
They are when you're ten.
We buried them
26
00:01:03,912 --> 00:01:05,713
because the second
we tried to fire one up,
27
00:01:05,715 --> 00:01:08,350
we always got caught.
Immediately. Every time.
28
00:01:08,351 --> 00:01:10,018
So we planned
to smoke them in the woods
29
00:01:10,019 --> 00:01:11,019
and we never got around to it,
30
00:01:11,020 --> 00:01:13,637
30 years passed,
and your memory got fuzzy.
31
00:01:13,672 --> 00:01:15,890
Probably fuzzy from
all the weed we smoked.
32
00:01:15,892 --> 00:01:17,625
We never smoked weed!
33
00:01:17,627 --> 00:01:21,162
♪ You think there's
not a lot goin' on ♪
34
00:01:21,164 --> 00:01:24,465
♪ Look closer, baby
you're so wrong ♪
35
00:01:24,704 --> 00:01:27,773
2x08 - Bush League
36
00:01:28,236 --> 00:01:30,704
I remember it crystally clear!
37
00:01:30,706 --> 00:01:32,373
We wanted to hide the stuff,
38
00:01:32,374 --> 00:01:34,041
so you went and got a coffee tin.
39
00:01:34,043 --> 00:01:36,745
When you came back to my
place and knocked on the door,
40
00:01:36,746 --> 00:01:38,479
I was too high to let you in.
41
00:01:38,481 --> 00:01:40,481
That's from
a Cheech and Chong album.
42
00:01:40,483 --> 00:01:42,050
Why are you...
okay, you know what,
43
00:01:42,051 --> 00:01:43,552
there's only one way to settle this.
44
00:01:43,553 --> 00:01:45,786
We go out to the woods tonight,
dig up the tin,
45
00:01:45,788 --> 00:01:48,156
- and see what's inside.
- You're on. You close up.
46
00:01:48,157 --> 00:01:51,993
- I'll go get some digging stuff.
- "Digging stuff."
47
00:01:51,994 --> 00:01:53,595
How do you remember
what we buried 30 years ago
48
00:01:53,596 --> 00:01:55,874
if you can't remember
the word "shovel"?
49
00:01:58,166 --> 00:02:01,001
- Hello, partner.
- Emma's your partner.
50
00:02:01,003 --> 00:02:03,271
She's my darts partner.
You're my cop...
51
00:02:03,272 --> 00:02:06,308
- you know what I mean.
- Ready to take another beating?
52
00:02:06,309 --> 00:02:10,911
You barely beat us last week.
This week, it's revenge time.
53
00:02:10,913 --> 00:02:14,481
Ah, care to place
a friendly wager, partner?
54
00:02:14,483 --> 00:02:16,985
- I'm your partner.
- He's my... argh, never mind.
55
00:02:16,986 --> 00:02:19,888
- Loser cleans the fridge at work.
- Cleans the fridge?
56
00:02:19,889 --> 00:02:22,523
That thing is full
of moldy macaroni salad.
57
00:02:22,525 --> 00:02:24,625
Bock bock bock bock.
58
00:02:24,627 --> 00:02:27,963
That was chicken salad?
Oh.
59
00:02:27,964 --> 00:02:28,964
It's a bet.
60
00:02:28,965 --> 00:02:31,498
Any wagering has to
be authorized by me,
61
00:02:31,500 --> 00:02:33,634
as league commissioner
and founder of the entire...
62
00:02:33,636 --> 00:02:35,136
We know!
63
00:02:35,137 --> 00:02:36,338
Then I will allow it.
64
00:02:36,339 --> 00:02:40,507
Hey, Phil, I think I'll have
a scotch tonight.
65
00:02:40,509 --> 00:02:41,738
Settle my nerves.
66
00:02:41,790 --> 00:02:44,212
And how you come partnered up
with Davis and not Oscar?
67
00:02:44,213 --> 00:02:47,482
I joined darts for fun.
Oscar's the opposite of that.
68
00:02:47,483 --> 00:02:50,284
I love him, but sometimes
I need a bit of distance.
69
00:02:50,286 --> 00:02:51,986
He's nine feet away.
70
00:02:53,288 --> 00:02:55,155
I'll take what I can get.
71
00:02:55,157 --> 00:02:57,691
Besides, Oscar
can't play darts anymore.
72
00:02:57,693 --> 00:03:01,129
- Physically or legally?
- Emotionally. He used to compete.
73
00:03:01,130 --> 00:03:03,163
Three times
Golden Flights champion.
74
00:03:03,165 --> 00:03:04,865
But there was...
75
00:03:04,867 --> 00:03:07,736
- an incident.
- So? Oscar has four incidents
76
00:03:07,737 --> 00:03:09,204
every day before breakfast.
77
00:03:09,205 --> 00:03:11,639
Often followed
by a brunch incident.
78
00:03:11,641 --> 00:03:16,043
No, nothing like this.
This was The Incident.
79
00:03:16,045 --> 00:03:17,912
Never bring it up to Oscar.
80
00:03:17,914 --> 00:03:21,584
- He hates talking about it.
- Oh.
81
00:03:23,652 --> 00:03:26,187
- Ready to hit the woods?
- Dunno.
82
00:03:26,188 --> 00:03:27,856
You think you brought enough gear?
83
00:03:27,857 --> 00:03:30,404
- You can never be too prepared.
- Really?
84
00:03:30,462 --> 00:03:32,093
We're going half
a mile out of town.
85
00:03:32,094 --> 00:03:33,628
You're packed like
it's a moon launch.
86
00:03:33,629 --> 00:03:36,498
- You're not bringing any survival gear?
- My phone.
87
00:03:36,499 --> 00:03:39,083
If it makes you feel better,
I can call it a survival phone.
88
00:03:39,118 --> 00:03:41,669
Hey, Oscar.
Whatcha doing?
89
00:03:41,671 --> 00:03:44,772
Building a snow fort.
What's it look like I'm doing?!
90
00:03:44,774 --> 00:03:47,008
Hmm. You seem cranky.
91
00:03:47,009 --> 00:03:50,144
- Something bothering you?
- Not up until ten seconds ago.
92
00:03:50,146 --> 00:03:52,112
Do these games
being played nearby
93
00:03:52,114 --> 00:03:56,016
remind you of any...
particular situation,
94
00:03:56,018 --> 00:03:58,887
- or what's another word for...
- Incident?
95
00:03:58,888 --> 00:04:01,256
Yeah, for "incident."
Occasion...?
96
00:04:01,257 --> 00:04:04,857
You mean... The Incident?
97
00:04:07,148 --> 00:04:10,567
Well, since you brought it up.
98
00:04:11,106 --> 00:04:13,374
Yeah!
Nailed it!
99
00:04:13,375 --> 00:04:15,676
We got good lead
on them now, Emma.
100
00:04:15,678 --> 00:04:19,480
A good what?
Oh, lead, yes, good.
101
00:04:19,482 --> 00:04:22,183
- Are you into this?
- Good to hear.
102
00:04:22,184 --> 00:04:25,686
They're getting too far ahead.
We gotta pick up our game.
103
00:04:25,688 --> 00:04:27,388
I haven't been throwing well.
104
00:04:27,389 --> 00:04:30,458
Too focused on my other duties
as league commissioner.
105
00:04:30,459 --> 00:04:33,628
- Oh, for the love of...
- But that all turns around...
106
00:04:33,629 --> 00:04:35,329
now!
107
00:04:35,763 --> 00:04:39,466
Now!
Okay, just gotta relax.
108
00:04:40,468 --> 00:04:42,137
Okay, that's too relaxed.
109
00:04:43,072 --> 00:04:47,142
Damn. It's the station line.
D.R.P.D.
110
00:04:47,143 --> 00:04:49,511
Ugh. Fine.
I'll be right there.
111
00:04:49,512 --> 00:04:50,678
There? Where?
112
00:04:50,679 --> 00:04:52,913
I'm the cop on call,
and there's been a break-in.
113
00:04:52,915 --> 00:04:54,615
You're off to play cops and robbers?
114
00:04:54,617 --> 00:04:57,184
Listen, Miss Marple, this is darts!
115
00:04:57,186 --> 00:04:59,587
Ha!
♪ You lost your partner ♪
116
00:04:59,588 --> 00:05:03,323
We win by default.
♪ Enjoy that moldy macaroni! ♪
117
00:05:03,325 --> 00:05:05,627
Argh!
I should've said "molderoni."
118
00:05:05,628 --> 00:05:08,429
Whoa, we didn't lose.
I get to name a replacement.
119
00:05:08,430 --> 00:05:10,430
Karen was dragging
me down anyways.
120
00:05:10,432 --> 00:05:12,733
I don't like to talk about it.
121
00:05:12,735 --> 00:05:15,035
It was a night much like this.
122
00:05:15,037 --> 00:05:17,072
- Many years ago...
- Lacey!
123
00:05:17,073 --> 00:05:18,840
- What?
- You're on my darts team.
124
00:05:18,841 --> 00:05:21,475
You can't just pull someone
from the crowd.
125
00:05:21,477 --> 00:05:24,679
- I've never thrown a dart in my life.
- Lacey's in for Karen.
126
00:05:24,680 --> 00:05:27,581
Don't you want to hear
about The Incident?
127
00:05:27,583 --> 00:05:29,561
I never talk about it!
128
00:05:31,986 --> 00:05:34,621
Okay, we just have
to find the right tree.
129
00:05:34,623 --> 00:05:37,592
Look for the toy parachute man
we hung up in the branches.
130
00:05:37,593 --> 00:05:39,027
I think we're in the wrong area.
131
00:05:39,028 --> 00:05:42,296
These trees are way taller
than the ones we hung it in.
132
00:05:42,298 --> 00:05:45,667
- It was thirty years ago.
- True, been a long time...
133
00:05:45,668 --> 00:05:48,802
But I distinctly remember
the trees being shorter.
134
00:05:48,804 --> 00:05:51,772
Stick with ol' Hank,
and you'll be fine.
135
00:05:51,774 --> 00:05:54,274
Ugh, I can see that engraved
on my tombstone.
136
00:05:54,276 --> 00:05:57,544
- So, what do I do?
- Keep your toe behind the line,
137
00:05:57,546 --> 00:06:00,081
point the dart,
and just try to hit the board.
138
00:06:00,082 --> 00:06:02,382
Well, aren't I supposed to
hit some number or something?
139
00:06:02,384 --> 00:06:05,152
Well, ideally you'd hit
the double eight,
140
00:06:05,154 --> 00:06:06,854
but just worry about...
141
00:06:06,955 --> 00:06:09,991
- Whoa! Double eight!
- You said you never played!
142
00:06:09,992 --> 00:06:12,493
I haven't,
but it's pretty straight forward.
143
00:06:12,494 --> 00:06:14,194
Can you hit the six?
144
00:06:15,129 --> 00:06:17,164
Oboy! She's a natural.
145
00:06:17,166 --> 00:06:18,833
I have never seen anything like this
146
00:06:18,834 --> 00:06:22,743
- in all my weeks as league commissioner.
- I'm back! It wasn't a break-in.
147
00:06:22,744 --> 00:06:24,738
Helen heard voices
but it was just her TV.
148
00:06:24,739 --> 00:06:26,741
Guess she thought
burglars broke in to talk
149
00:06:26,742 --> 00:06:28,743
about an Acorn Stairlift for 30 minutes.
150
00:06:28,744 --> 00:06:32,779
- Well, that was fun, thanks.
- Whoa, whoa. Hey.
151
00:06:32,781 --> 00:06:35,415
Listen, Karen, here's the thing...
152
00:06:35,417 --> 00:06:39,052
Lacey filled in, and,
well, she's really good.
153
00:06:39,054 --> 00:06:40,121
You're more...
154
00:06:40,122 --> 00:06:42,156
uh, what's the word...
not.
155
00:06:42,157 --> 00:06:44,859
- So what are you saying?
- Lacey's my new partner.
156
00:06:44,860 --> 00:06:48,852
It's not personal, it's just
a brutal reality of competitive sports.
157
00:06:48,887 --> 00:06:52,566
- Thanks for understanding.
- I don't understanding. Understand.
158
00:06:52,568 --> 00:06:55,802
We could put it to a vote,
but it'd be two against one.
159
00:06:55,804 --> 00:06:58,071
That's just the brutal
reality of math.
160
00:06:58,073 --> 00:07:01,342
But if we're trying to win,
then I should partner with Karen.
161
00:07:01,343 --> 00:07:03,445
- She's way better than you.
- Yeah, didn't you
162
00:07:03,446 --> 00:07:05,213
miss the board entirely
and hit the wall?
163
00:07:05,214 --> 00:07:07,315
And then miss the wall entirely
and hit the floor?
164
00:07:07,316 --> 00:07:09,550
- I vote Karen.
- I vote me.
165
00:07:09,551 --> 00:07:11,251
I vote ouch.
166
00:07:14,262 --> 00:07:17,065
- Are you sure this is the tree?
- 100%.
167
00:07:17,066 --> 00:07:19,066
Look at that jagged
branch on the left.
168
00:07:19,068 --> 00:07:22,303
You'll see a tiny little...
hang on. Nope.
169
00:07:22,304 --> 00:07:24,905
- So now it isn't the tree?
- 100% not.
170
00:07:24,906 --> 00:07:27,074
Okay, we 100% gotta
turn around and go back.
171
00:07:27,076 --> 00:07:29,376
Wait, our tree's just up ahead.
172
00:07:29,378 --> 00:07:31,245
You said that about 12 trees in a row.
173
00:07:31,247 --> 00:07:34,315
You think every tree is the tree.
You've gone tree mad.
174
00:07:34,316 --> 00:07:35,583
We're lost, and I'm
calling for help.
175
00:07:35,584 --> 00:07:38,252
No! We're not lost.
Don't call.
176
00:07:38,254 --> 00:07:41,388
I won't call if you'll
just admit that we're lost.
177
00:07:41,390 --> 00:07:43,457
Okay, fine. We're lost.
178
00:07:43,459 --> 00:07:45,927
- Then it's time to get help.
- You said you wouldn't call!
179
00:07:45,928 --> 00:07:48,046
Didn't say I wouldn't text.
180
00:07:53,541 --> 00:07:55,675
Wait.
You can't do this to me.
181
00:07:55,676 --> 00:07:57,144
Do what?
Save your life?
182
00:07:57,145 --> 00:07:58,878
People in town
can't know I got lost.
183
00:07:58,880 --> 00:08:02,648
They look up to me as a rugged,
survivalist Bear Grylls type.
184
00:08:02,650 --> 00:08:04,350
Bad News Bear Grylls, maybe.
185
00:08:04,352 --> 00:08:06,052
Come on.
Put your phone away.
186
00:08:06,053 --> 00:08:08,220
Give me a chance
to get us out of here.
187
00:08:08,222 --> 00:08:11,391
How? Do you even have
a compass in that backpack?
188
00:08:11,392 --> 00:08:13,125
My compass is internal.
189
00:08:13,127 --> 00:08:16,562
It's called a finely tuned
sense of direction.
190
00:08:16,564 --> 00:08:18,264
What? Takes a while to warm up.
191
00:08:19,403 --> 00:08:22,439
- Yes! We're catching up!
- This game is too easy.
192
00:08:22,440 --> 00:08:24,140
I'm gonna throw one left-handed.
193
00:08:24,674 --> 00:08:28,678
- You can't miss!
- This is terrible. They could win.
194
00:08:28,679 --> 00:08:30,813
But look how much fun
they're having.
195
00:08:30,815 --> 00:08:34,150
- I'm gonna try left-handed.
- No!
196
00:08:34,851 --> 00:08:37,019
♪ You can't miss me, baby ♪
197
00:08:37,021 --> 00:08:41,424
- Whoopsie!
- You totally wasted an entire throw.
198
00:08:41,426 --> 00:08:44,027
Do you want to win or not?
This is important, Emma.
199
00:08:44,028 --> 00:08:47,263
Do you want to see me covered
in moldy macaroni salad?
200
00:08:47,265 --> 00:08:51,067
Never occurred to me,
but now I kind of do, yeah.
201
00:08:51,069 --> 00:08:52,736
Pretty slack attitude, Emma.
202
00:08:52,737 --> 00:08:55,472
Davis is right to want you off
his team and be replaced by me.
203
00:08:55,473 --> 00:08:58,040
Okay, new team, new day!
204
00:08:58,042 --> 00:09:01,711
Sorry, Wanda, you're too intense.
Makes me nervous.
205
00:09:01,712 --> 00:09:05,047
- But I started this league!
- Plus you say that too much.
206
00:09:06,883 --> 00:09:08,485
Exclude me from my own thing...
207
00:09:08,486 --> 00:09:11,554
- I started darts night, you know.
- I know.
208
00:09:11,555 --> 00:09:14,156
Darts can be a hard thing
to walk away from.
209
00:09:14,158 --> 00:09:16,693
- Me? I had to.
- Without me, these jerks
210
00:09:16,694 --> 00:09:18,928
would be sitting around
thumbing their bungs.
211
00:09:18,930 --> 00:09:21,030
Yeah, I don't like
to talk about it much,
212
00:09:21,032 --> 00:09:24,301
- but there was an incident...
- Indecent is right.
213
00:09:24,302 --> 00:09:26,903
- "Incident."
- It's indecent the way they treat me.
214
00:09:26,904 --> 00:09:28,871
It's hard for me not
to talk about this
215
00:09:28,873 --> 00:09:30,273
when you won't even listen!
216
00:09:30,274 --> 00:09:33,343
I do all the work,
and they just swoop in...
217
00:09:33,344 --> 00:09:34,277
Augh!
218
00:09:34,278 --> 00:09:36,980
Way to go, Wanda!
You made me miss!
219
00:09:36,981 --> 00:09:38,981
It was an accident!
220
00:09:38,983 --> 00:09:41,884
But maybe the next one won't be.
221
00:09:41,886 --> 00:09:44,620
If I can't play, no one will play.
222
00:09:44,622 --> 00:09:47,690
I won't play.
Not after The Incident.
223
00:09:47,692 --> 00:09:50,392
I might tell you
if you don't ask me about it.
224
00:09:50,394 --> 00:09:52,327
Deal.
225
00:09:56,800 --> 00:09:58,701
I think we're even more lost.
226
00:09:58,703 --> 00:10:00,636
Is there such a thing as more lost?
227
00:10:00,638 --> 00:10:03,506
You mean get so lost
that we find ourselves?
228
00:10:03,508 --> 00:10:05,942
- Food for thought.
- Speaking of food, I'm hungry.
229
00:10:05,943 --> 00:10:07,776
I've given you enough time
to find a way out of here.
230
00:10:07,778 --> 00:10:10,846
- I'm calling for help.
- No! You're going to ruin my rep.
231
00:10:10,848 --> 00:10:14,383
Sorry, Hank, the stomach wants
what the stomach wants.
232
00:10:14,385 --> 00:10:16,852
Wait, I have granola bars.
233
00:10:16,854 --> 00:10:19,355
Ooh, with the chocolatey coating.
234
00:10:19,357 --> 00:10:22,092
- Here, have one.
- One?
235
00:10:22,093 --> 00:10:24,693
Hmm. I bet if I called...
236
00:10:24,695 --> 00:10:28,430
- someone'd bring me a whole box.
- Fine, take it.
237
00:10:30,901 --> 00:10:33,335
Oh, my god, there's
little marshmallows too.
238
00:10:34,871 --> 00:10:37,239
This is a little awkward, but...
239
00:10:37,241 --> 00:10:39,808
you missed that last shot
really badly.
240
00:10:39,810 --> 00:10:43,022
I find it helpful to keep
your eye on the target.
241
00:10:43,102 --> 00:10:46,381
Learned a lot in the 15 minutes
you've been playing darts, haven't you?
242
00:10:46,441 --> 00:10:49,152
I know, right?
Now, let's go win!
243
00:10:49,153 --> 00:10:51,520
Yeah.
Go team.
244
00:10:53,290 --> 00:10:54,490
Aah!
245
00:10:54,491 --> 00:10:57,059
Just taking some photos for
DailyDartWorld.com.
246
00:10:57,061 --> 00:11:00,563
Thanks a lot, Wanda.
You made me miss all the numbers.
247
00:11:00,565 --> 00:11:02,565
Oh, come on!
248
00:11:11,708 --> 00:11:14,543
Ho ho ho ho ho...
nice try, bug.
249
00:11:14,545 --> 00:11:16,879
You think I've never
seen The Three Stooges?
250
00:11:16,881 --> 00:11:18,782
I've watched more...
Ow!
251
00:11:18,783 --> 00:11:20,817
He bit me.
These bugs are terrible.
252
00:11:20,818 --> 00:11:23,252
You shoulda brought
a bug net built for two.
253
00:11:23,254 --> 00:11:27,657
- That is a bug net built for two.
- Oh. Well, it's not very warm.
254
00:11:27,658 --> 00:11:31,827
The sun's down, and here's you,
unprepared, in just a t-shirt.
255
00:11:31,829 --> 00:11:35,731
True.
I could call someone for a scarf.
256
00:11:35,733 --> 00:11:37,433
Unless...
257
00:11:40,171 --> 00:11:43,125
Cozy.
What is this, flannel?
258
00:11:43,160 --> 00:11:44,807
Hey, Davis, just curious.
259
00:11:44,809 --> 00:11:47,876
Do you breathe in or out
when you release?
260
00:11:47,878 --> 00:11:50,246
Nice try, but you
won't distract me
261
00:11:50,248 --> 00:11:52,883
with your petty mind games.
262
00:11:58,055 --> 00:11:59,888
Dart in the hat.
Classic.
263
00:11:59,890 --> 00:12:04,627
Darts are a cruel game.
I learned that the hard way...
264
00:12:04,629 --> 00:12:06,029
from The Incident.
265
00:12:06,030 --> 00:12:08,999
- She's in my head.
- Just ignore her.
266
00:12:09,000 --> 00:12:11,700
This next shot's gotta be stellar.
267
00:12:13,837 --> 00:12:17,172
- Ow!
- Dart in the cheek. Classic.
268
00:12:17,174 --> 00:12:21,844
- What's darts without a vuvuzela?
- What's a vuvuzela?
269
00:12:23,914 --> 00:12:25,814
You'd think I would have
annoyed those jerks
270
00:12:25,816 --> 00:12:28,684
into quitting by now.
It only took me six tweets
271
00:12:28,685 --> 00:12:31,620
to get those NASA nerds
to declassify Pluto,
272
00:12:31,622 --> 00:12:33,656
and then four to reclassify it.
273
00:12:33,658 --> 00:12:37,059
- Pick a side, eggheads.
- I was on a side once.
274
00:12:37,061 --> 00:12:40,297
The wrong side.
Of an incident.
275
00:12:40,298 --> 00:12:44,668
- It's a dark story, best left untold.
- Did you say "dark"?
276
00:12:44,669 --> 00:12:47,636
All right, quit hounding me.
I'll tell you.
277
00:12:47,638 --> 00:12:49,873
- It was a night much like this...
- Great story.
278
00:12:49,874 --> 00:12:52,341
Phil, I need a copy
of the hotel blueprints.
279
00:12:52,343 --> 00:12:54,577
Blueprints?
Sure thing.
280
00:12:54,578 --> 00:12:57,313
I'll have Tony Stark
fax them right over.
281
00:12:57,315 --> 00:12:59,683
Facts?
I'll tell you the facts.
282
00:12:59,684 --> 00:13:02,951
It was a night much like this...
283
00:13:07,390 --> 00:13:10,159
This is just like Naked and Afraid.
284
00:13:10,161 --> 00:13:12,027
More like Naked-except-
for-your-underwear
285
00:13:12,029 --> 00:13:14,830
and Afraid.
Which I'm fine with.
286
00:13:14,832 --> 00:13:16,333
You should be so lucky.
287
00:13:16,334 --> 00:13:18,701
Hey, how'd you make
a hammock out of pants?
288
00:13:20,071 --> 00:13:22,438
- You got any beans left?
- Nope, sorry.
289
00:13:22,439 --> 00:13:23,973
But if we call for help now,
290
00:13:23,974 --> 00:13:26,275
there'll be time to grab
a frozen pizza at Foo Mart.
291
00:13:26,277 --> 00:13:29,345
No! Real outdoorsmen
forage for food anyway.
292
00:13:29,347 --> 00:13:32,514
I bet I can find some berries.
And bark.
293
00:13:32,515 --> 00:13:36,144
- You be careful out there.
- I know what I'm doing.
294
00:13:36,887 --> 00:13:40,238
And now we know
what's your tombstone.
295
00:13:44,800 --> 00:13:47,302
Mm... oh... oh.
296
00:13:48,905 --> 00:13:51,272
Oh, I don't feel so good.
297
00:13:51,274 --> 00:13:53,474
I hope those berries
weren't poisonous.
298
00:13:53,476 --> 00:13:55,777
Oh, no, no, no.
The berries were all right.
299
00:13:55,779 --> 00:13:57,313
I'm an expert on the woods.
300
00:13:57,314 --> 00:13:59,948
Hey, bears don't
usually talk, do they?
301
00:13:59,950 --> 00:14:02,985
You're the expert. Maybe I'm
communicating telepathically.
302
00:14:02,986 --> 00:14:04,553
Ah, yeah, that makes more sense.
303
00:14:04,554 --> 00:14:07,188
I don't know what's
got me feeling so woozy.
304
00:14:07,190 --> 00:14:09,057
I... I only ate a few berries
305
00:14:09,059 --> 00:14:11,059
to clear out the taste
of those funky mushrooms.
306
00:14:11,061 --> 00:14:14,762
Ah.
Fog's lifting a bit on that mystery.
307
00:14:14,764 --> 00:14:17,733
You just need to ride this out.
Breathe.
308
00:14:17,734 --> 00:14:21,895
Relax. Mother Nature...
will take care of you.
309
00:14:21,930 --> 00:14:24,272
I'm just stressed because
my friend and I are lost,
310
00:14:24,274 --> 00:14:26,541
and it could
tarnish my reputation.
311
00:14:26,543 --> 00:14:28,476
Reputations are tough, man.
312
00:14:28,478 --> 00:14:31,113
You know, every time people
see me, they're always like
313
00:14:31,114 --> 00:14:34,048
"Ah! A bear!
Run for your life! He'll eat us!"
314
00:14:34,050 --> 00:14:35,551
You know, I find that
a little presumptuous.
315
00:14:35,552 --> 00:14:37,219
Maybe I just want
to maul somebody.
316
00:14:37,220 --> 00:14:40,589
- You ever think of that?
- People are the worst.
317
00:14:40,590 --> 00:14:42,958
- What brought you out here, anyway?
- Oh, we're trying to find
318
00:14:42,959 --> 00:14:44,826
a coffee can we buried
when we were kids.
319
00:14:44,828 --> 00:14:48,413
Oh, I happen to know
that there's a coffee can
320
00:14:48,414 --> 00:14:51,166
buried up over that ridge,
just past that stump
321
00:14:51,167 --> 00:14:53,134
that looks like a pig
holding a toaster.
322
00:14:53,136 --> 00:14:56,138
Wow, that's very specific.
Thanks, Bear...
323
00:14:56,139 --> 00:14:59,708
- Oh, hey, any relation to Bear Grylls?
- Never heard of him.
324
00:14:59,709 --> 00:15:01,877
Oh, I just thought with
you having the same name...
325
00:15:01,878 --> 00:15:04,513
- My name's Gavin.
- Nice to meet ya, Gavin.
326
00:15:04,514 --> 00:15:07,115
So, uh, what are you doing out here?
327
00:15:07,117 --> 00:15:09,785
You ever hear the old saying
does a bear...
328
00:15:09,786 --> 00:15:12,787
- blank in the woods?
- You're Catholic?
329
00:15:12,955 --> 00:15:16,077
Oh, I've seen that commercial.
330
00:15:16,792 --> 00:15:18,093
Okay, quick, Emma's throwing.
331
00:15:18,094 --> 00:15:22,030
- Tell me all about this incident.
- Well, well, well,
332
00:15:22,032 --> 00:15:24,465
everyone wants to hear
about my incident.
333
00:15:24,467 --> 00:15:26,135
Yeah, yeah, just tell me.
334
00:15:26,136 --> 00:15:28,002
Maybe a man needs
to have some secrets.
335
00:15:28,004 --> 00:15:31,203
- Ever think of...
- No secrets. What happened?
336
00:15:31,238 --> 00:15:34,776
All right, I'll tell you.
It was a night much like tonight...
337
00:15:35,844 --> 00:15:38,646
...a friendly game of darts
between friends,
338
00:15:38,648 --> 00:15:40,348
or so I thought.
339
00:15:40,816 --> 00:15:44,852
- Yeah-ha-ha!
- Whoa!
340
00:15:47,256 --> 00:15:49,725
That's it?
You kicked a chair?
341
00:15:49,726 --> 00:15:52,294
That's the incident that
kept you out of Darts League?
342
00:15:52,295 --> 00:15:54,963
Haven't played that
game in 30 years.
343
00:15:54,965 --> 00:15:58,833
Maybe 15. Six?
When did they declassify Pluto?
344
00:15:58,835 --> 00:16:02,203
That's not an incident.
That's you being a sore loser.
345
00:16:02,205 --> 00:16:06,274
No, it's not. When I told Emma,
she said it was a big incident,
346
00:16:06,276 --> 00:16:09,478
- that I should never play again.
- Did she, now?
347
00:16:09,479 --> 00:16:11,446
Well, she just told me
348
00:16:11,448 --> 00:16:14,182
she thinks you should
come out of retirement.
349
00:16:14,184 --> 00:16:17,819
Ooh, I don't know.
I've closed that door.
350
00:16:17,821 --> 00:16:20,005
- Old wounds take a long...
- I'll buy you a beer.
351
00:16:20,006 --> 00:16:23,149
- Let's do this!
- You got any rope? No reason.
352
00:16:26,996 --> 00:16:29,832
- Brent! Wake up!
- Gah! Hank?
353
00:16:29,833 --> 00:16:32,344
- Gah! Are you okay, buddy?
- I wasn't...
354
00:16:32,345 --> 00:16:34,683
Untill I talked to the bear
with all the answers.
355
00:16:34,718 --> 00:16:37,239
Did you talk to a bear,
or did you eat a bear?
356
00:16:37,240 --> 00:16:40,242
- I'd never eat Gavin.
- Okay, you're scaring me.
357
00:16:40,243 --> 00:16:41,810
This is over.
I'm calling for help.
358
00:16:41,811 --> 00:16:43,711
Uh-oh, dead battery.
359
00:16:43,713 --> 00:16:47,148
That's what I get for watching
all those Friends re-runs.
360
00:16:47,150 --> 00:16:49,302
That Gunther should've
got more screen time.
361
00:16:49,337 --> 00:16:51,386
We have to find the pig
holding the toaster.
362
00:16:51,388 --> 00:16:54,422
How about we stay here and
wait for a monkey with a map?
363
00:16:54,424 --> 00:16:56,776
You're talking crazy.
Now, follow me.
364
00:16:56,824 --> 00:16:58,986
The moon is my monkey!
365
00:16:59,128 --> 00:17:00,295
You can't leave me out here.
366
00:17:00,296 --> 00:17:03,264
It's darker than Chandler's
sense of humour.
367
00:17:03,266 --> 00:17:05,666
Could I be any more scared?
368
00:17:06,702 --> 00:17:10,439
- Oh, good, it's your turn.
- Unfortunately, I...
369
00:17:10,440 --> 00:17:13,942
dislocated my thumb while...
peeing.
370
00:17:13,943 --> 00:17:17,012
- Ew. Also, how?
- Story for another day.
371
00:17:17,013 --> 00:17:18,614
Oscar is going to play for me.
372
00:17:18,615 --> 00:17:20,315
What? I'm not playing with him.
373
00:17:20,316 --> 00:17:22,450
Yeah, what about The Incident?
374
00:17:22,452 --> 00:17:26,220
If Karen can switch players,
I can switch players.
375
00:17:26,222 --> 00:17:27,922
Fire away, Oscar.
376
00:17:29,191 --> 00:17:31,511
Whoops, a little rusty.
377
00:17:32,728 --> 00:17:35,531
Ow!
I'm going home.
378
00:17:35,532 --> 00:17:38,254
Oscar is in for Davis.
379
00:17:38,289 --> 00:17:43,037
That stump didn't look
like a pig holding a toaster.
380
00:17:43,039 --> 00:17:45,139
More like a hog
holding a crockpot.
381
00:17:45,141 --> 00:17:49,444
- This is the tree!
- We're missing one key ingredient.
382
00:17:52,114 --> 00:17:57,718
- Okay, that's creepy/convenient.
- Monkey... moon.
383
00:18:00,222 --> 00:18:02,024
- Found it!
- The can!
384
00:18:02,025 --> 00:18:04,660
Ta-da...
C-C-Cigarettes?
385
00:18:04,661 --> 00:18:06,394
Who would've thought
it was cigarettes?
386
00:18:06,396 --> 00:18:08,262
I-I said it was cigarettes.
387
00:18:08,264 --> 00:18:11,233
I'd say, "in your face," but,
you know, we're probably both
388
00:18:11,234 --> 00:18:13,702
going to die out here,
so feels a little...
389
00:18:13,703 --> 00:18:15,937
Ah, what the hell.
In your face.
390
00:18:15,939 --> 00:18:18,539
I was wrong.
And I'm a fraud.
391
00:18:18,541 --> 00:18:21,242
We should've called for help
when we had the chance.
392
00:18:21,244 --> 00:18:24,512
Yeah, what does it matter now?
Want one?
393
00:18:28,051 --> 00:18:32,221
- Hey, you guys can't smoke here.
- See? We always get caught.
394
00:18:32,222 --> 00:18:35,958
- We're saved!
- You guys lost? Okay, don't panic.
395
00:18:35,959 --> 00:18:38,327
Breathe.
Relax.
396
00:18:38,328 --> 00:18:42,800
Mother Nature...
will kill you if you're not careful.
397
00:18:43,132 --> 00:18:45,133
Gavin?
398
00:18:47,369 --> 00:18:51,472
Ho ho!
Goodbye, rust, hello, gloating.
399
00:18:51,474 --> 00:18:54,276
Alriiight!
That's my champion!
400
00:18:54,277 --> 00:18:55,977
- Let's see you match that.
- Hmm.
401
00:18:57,479 --> 00:19:01,717
- Give me a tough one.
- Trick shot! Phil, pull!
402
00:19:07,122 --> 00:19:11,092
- Ha ha!
- Ugh, gross, but okay, Phil, pull!
403
00:19:13,362 --> 00:19:15,062
Ugh.
404
00:19:15,230 --> 00:19:18,667
Ha! I find it helps if you
keep your eye on the target.
405
00:19:18,668 --> 00:19:21,303
- Isn't she your partner?
- Still not a fan.
406
00:19:21,304 --> 00:19:25,840
Dammit, Oscar, you got in my head
through this egg via my mouth.
407
00:19:25,842 --> 00:19:28,544
We're tied!
Last shot, Oscar.
408
00:19:28,545 --> 00:19:31,781
This one's for all the marbles.
409
00:19:32,014 --> 00:19:33,682
Do you hear something
in the ceiling?
410
00:19:33,683 --> 00:19:37,151
Yeah, like raccoons
or a poltergeist.
411
00:19:37,153 --> 00:19:39,796
Those are your two options?
412
00:19:40,889 --> 00:19:42,879
- Hey, what?
- What?
413
00:19:42,914 --> 00:19:47,094
Ha ha ha!
You fools, I warned you that if...
414
00:19:47,096 --> 00:19:48,796
Ow!
415
00:19:49,198 --> 00:19:51,465
Ooh, that hurt.
416
00:19:51,467 --> 00:19:53,401
Wanda? What the hell?
417
00:19:53,403 --> 00:19:56,771
There's no darts league
if there's no dart board.
418
00:19:56,773 --> 00:20:01,042
Ha ha!
Away!
419
00:20:01,044 --> 00:20:05,646
- Ugh...
- But did you have to rappel down?
420
00:20:05,648 --> 00:20:07,216
Couldn't you have just run up
421
00:20:07,217 --> 00:20:08,517
and taken it
when the lights went out?
422
00:20:08,518 --> 00:20:10,352
Run in the dark?
Are you nuts?
423
00:20:10,353 --> 00:20:14,288
Could've broken my neck.
Away!
424
00:20:14,290 --> 00:20:18,377
- Ha...
- Last call.
425
00:20:21,011 --> 00:20:22,146
So, I'm confused.
426
00:20:22,147 --> 00:20:24,515
Who's cleaning the fridge,
you or Davis?
427
00:20:24,516 --> 00:20:27,016
Since neither of us lost,
we only have one choice.
428
00:20:27,018 --> 00:20:29,220
- You're cleaning it together?
- Gross.
429
00:20:29,221 --> 00:20:31,588
No, we're buying a new fridge.
430
00:20:31,590 --> 00:20:33,224
You can stop worrying, everybody.
431
00:20:33,225 --> 00:20:35,291
I got Brent out of the woods.
432
00:20:35,293 --> 00:20:38,562
This is darts night?
Doesn't look safe.
433
00:20:39,397 --> 00:20:43,215
It's not safe. As league
commissioner, I forbid this.
434
00:20:43,250 --> 00:20:46,391
This isn't league activity.
Ha ha!
435
00:20:46,426 --> 00:20:49,774
This is me and Miss Priss seeing
who's best at hitting a moving target.
436
00:20:49,775 --> 00:20:52,442
Phil, pull!
Or push.
437
00:20:52,877 --> 00:20:56,328
- Not cool.
- Why were you guys in the woods?
438
00:20:56,363 --> 00:20:59,352
There was an incident.
439
00:20:59,653 --> 00:21:02,312
Have you been smoking?
440
00:21:07,193 --> 00:21:08,628
♪ I don't know ♪
441
00:21:08,629 --> 00:21:11,563
♪ The same things
you don't know ♪
442
00:21:14,934 --> 00:21:16,901
♪ I don't know ♪
443
00:21:16,903 --> 00:21:20,105
♪ I just... don't know ♪
444
00:21:22,084 --> 00:21:25,987
- ♪ Ooh ♪
- ♪ It's a great big place ♪
445
00:21:25,989 --> 00:21:29,758
- ♪ Ooh ♪
- ♪ Full of nothin' but space ♪
446
00:21:29,760 --> 00:21:33,561
- ♪ Ooh ♪
- ♪ And it's my happy place ♪
447
00:21:33,563 --> 00:21:36,164
♪ I don't know ♪
448
00:21:37,309 --> 00:21:39,963
sync & correction by f1nc0
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