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1
00:00:00,124 --> 00:00:03,096
sync & correction by f1nc0
~ Addic7ed.com ~
2
00:00:03,598 --> 00:00:05,299
Oh, that was a heck of a windstorm.
3
00:00:05,301 --> 00:00:06,234
You guys must have
been up all night
4
00:00:06,235 --> 00:00:09,538
- responding to emergency calls.
- Emergency calls?
5
00:00:09,539 --> 00:00:11,706
Oh, yeah.
Barely slept a wink.
6
00:00:20,782 --> 00:00:23,384
Yup.
Fought the storm all night.
7
00:00:28,523 --> 00:00:30,591
Whoa!
These effects are great!
8
00:00:30,593 --> 00:00:31,793
I felt that!
9
00:00:31,794 --> 00:00:34,696
Glad we have Dog River's finest
looking out for us.
10
00:00:34,697 --> 00:00:35,797
Coffee's on me.
11
00:00:35,798 --> 00:00:38,433
- Alriiiiiight!
- Hey, that's my thing.
12
00:00:38,434 --> 00:00:41,268
What, no one else can use
the word "alright"?
13
00:00:41,270 --> 00:00:43,871
Also, how come you have
a catchphrase and I don't?
14
00:00:43,873 --> 00:00:47,142
You can't chase a catchphrase.
It's not a tornado.
15
00:00:47,143 --> 00:00:49,577
The catchphrase comes to you.
16
00:00:49,579 --> 00:00:51,780
Like a tornado.
Do you two want breakfast?
17
00:00:51,781 --> 00:00:54,748
Sounds grrrrrreat!
18
00:00:54,750 --> 00:00:56,717
Okay, you look up
trademark laws,
19
00:00:56,719 --> 00:00:59,386
- and I'll get you some menus.
- No rush.
20
00:00:59,387 --> 00:01:00,554
The power is still out
at the station,
21
00:01:00,555 --> 00:01:03,225
so we'll be working from
here all day, if that's cool?
22
00:01:03,226 --> 00:01:08,629
So cool! I've always wanted to be
part of dirty gritty police world.
23
00:01:08,664 --> 00:01:10,163
So, when do we start work?
24
00:01:10,799 --> 00:01:12,833
We are working.
25
00:01:12,835 --> 00:01:14,702
Not the dirty I was hoping to see.
26
00:01:14,704 --> 00:01:17,803
Dy-no-miiiiite!
27
00:01:17,838 --> 00:01:19,306
- Nope.
- Nope.
28
00:01:19,308 --> 00:01:22,910
♪ You think there's
not a lot goin' on ♪
29
00:01:22,912 --> 00:01:25,946
♪ Look closer, baby
you're so wrong ♪
30
00:01:26,048 --> 00:01:29,547
2x04 - Hedge Your Debts
31
00:01:31,620 --> 00:01:34,088
572 plus 56...
32
00:01:34,090 --> 00:01:36,056
Nine down, see
twenty-one across...
33
00:01:36,058 --> 00:01:37,825
Hey, stop number heckling.
34
00:01:37,827 --> 00:01:39,893
I don't come down
to where you work, and...
35
00:01:39,895 --> 00:01:42,497
- where do you work?
- Look at this!
36
00:01:42,638 --> 00:01:45,874
Driverless tractors?
What's next?
37
00:01:45,875 --> 00:01:46,941
Electric lawnmowers?
38
00:01:46,942 --> 00:01:49,563
Can you clam up? You're
going to make me lose my spot.
39
00:01:49,598 --> 00:01:51,579
- Your what?
- Gah. Lost my spot.
40
00:01:51,580 --> 00:01:54,882
Oh... you put
the "A.D.D." in "addition."
41
00:01:54,884 --> 00:01:57,552
You need to learn how to
focus on a task like I do.
42
00:01:57,553 --> 00:01:59,853
I've been studying the
Four-Hour Work Week.
43
00:01:59,855 --> 00:02:02,123
Four hours a week?
That would double your workload.
44
00:02:02,124 --> 00:02:03,824
And anyway, a crossword
isn't a task,
45
00:02:03,826 --> 00:02:05,260
that's a thing you enjoy.
46
00:02:05,261 --> 00:02:07,194
Anyone can focus
on something they love.
47
00:02:07,196 --> 00:02:08,763
You ever see me
focus on a hot dog?
48
00:02:08,764 --> 00:02:11,799
Yeah, for three seconds. Then
it's a blur of ketchup and crumbs.
49
00:02:11,801 --> 00:02:14,269
I, however, have trained my
mind to ignore distractions
50
00:02:14,270 --> 00:02:17,204
and lock onto any task
with laser focus.
51
00:02:17,206 --> 00:02:18,640
Great. Then you do the books.
52
00:02:18,641 --> 00:02:22,710
I would have seen that coming, but
I was laser-focused on my crossword.
53
00:02:25,580 --> 00:02:28,849
IOU?
What the hell is this about?
54
00:02:28,851 --> 00:02:31,919
Well, Dad, sometimes people
can't pay for things right away,
55
00:02:31,921 --> 00:02:33,922
so they...
being the "I"...
56
00:02:33,923 --> 00:02:37,559
"O," i.e. owe...
me... aka "U."
57
00:02:37,560 --> 00:02:39,760
This couldn't be more clear,
eh, Wanda?
58
00:02:39,762 --> 00:02:42,617
Laser focus!
59
00:02:44,766 --> 00:02:47,768
That wind storm really
did a number on my garden.
60
00:02:47,770 --> 00:02:48,803
Even Mother Nature
61
00:02:48,804 --> 00:02:51,238
deserves to get her
party on once in a while.
62
00:02:51,239 --> 00:02:54,107
After last night, Mother Nature
needs an intervention.
63
00:02:54,109 --> 00:02:57,311
So, what's the cost to get that
tree cleared and the shrub trimmed?
64
00:02:57,313 --> 00:02:59,746
Nothing, just let me
keep the firewood.
65
00:02:59,748 --> 00:03:02,783
Makes sense. You can use it
to burn the left-over leaves.
66
00:03:02,785 --> 00:03:06,386
Oh, no, no, I need the leaves
for my swamp monster costume.
67
00:03:06,388 --> 00:03:08,856
I knew it wouldn't
make sense for long.
68
00:03:08,858 --> 00:03:09,991
All right, uh...
69
00:03:09,992 --> 00:03:11,626
I'll go get my chainsaw,
hedge clippers,
70
00:03:11,627 --> 00:03:14,895
- and glitter glue.
- Even less sense.
71
00:03:15,057 --> 00:03:17,457
Won, Helen, Nate?
72
00:03:17,459 --> 00:03:19,993
Is there anyone in town
that doesn't owe you money?
73
00:03:19,995 --> 00:03:22,497
- Wanda.
- Concentrating.
74
00:03:22,498 --> 00:03:24,298
I just take whatever she
owes me out of her pay cheque.
75
00:03:24,299 --> 00:03:27,402
- Huh? What? You do what now?
- Laser...
76
00:03:27,403 --> 00:03:30,003
That's a stupid way
to run a business.
77
00:03:30,005 --> 00:03:32,005
Wait till the
government finds out.
78
00:03:32,007 --> 00:03:34,842
- It's tax evasion!
- No. Is it?
79
00:03:34,843 --> 00:03:36,144
Don't worry.
She'll make this go away.
80
00:03:36,145 --> 00:03:37,612
Wanda, cook the books.
81
00:03:37,613 --> 00:03:40,048
Why do you want it to go
away? They owe you money.
82
00:03:40,049 --> 00:03:41,516
Oh, right.
83
00:03:41,517 --> 00:03:43,917
It just sounded like something
a cool mobster would say.
84
00:03:43,919 --> 00:03:46,254
Yeah.
You're a real Al Capone.
85
00:03:46,255 --> 00:03:49,093
If Al Capone
was a children's clown.
86
00:03:52,760 --> 00:03:55,095
What do I admire?
87
00:03:55,097 --> 00:03:58,565
What is the thing which gives me joy?
88
00:03:58,567 --> 00:04:00,902
- Tiny cars?
- A squirting flower?
89
00:04:00,903 --> 00:04:04,154
Good quality make-up wipes?
90
00:04:05,173 --> 00:04:08,175
The sound of children's laughter!
91
00:04:11,180 --> 00:04:14,348
You guys hear squeaking?
What's going on back there?
92
00:04:14,349 --> 00:04:16,383
Squeak-a, squeak-a, squeak-a.
93
00:04:16,385 --> 00:04:19,854
- Squeak-a, squeak-a, squeak-a.
- I think we broke Wanda.
94
00:04:19,855 --> 00:04:22,256
- Hey, focus queen.
- What? I was focused.
95
00:04:22,257 --> 00:04:25,093
On the numbers. Eighty-five,
carry the squeak-a.
96
00:04:25,094 --> 00:04:27,466
Squeak-a squeak-a seven.
97
00:04:28,229 --> 00:04:30,564
Hank, I brought you some...
98
00:04:31,499 --> 00:04:33,034
Oh, my god, what have you done?
99
00:04:33,035 --> 00:04:35,369
Don't get mad.
I'm not done yet.
100
00:04:35,370 --> 00:04:37,704
I'm not mad.
I'm impressed!
101
00:04:37,706 --> 00:04:38,906
Oh. Then I'm done.
102
00:04:38,907 --> 00:04:41,041
It's like an
elephant is emerging
103
00:04:41,043 --> 00:04:44,145
- from the wilds of the jungle.
- Really? Huh.
104
00:04:44,146 --> 00:04:45,012
It just kinda happened.
105
00:04:45,013 --> 00:04:47,347
That's how all true art occurs.
106
00:04:47,349 --> 00:04:52,052
It exposes itself to us
so we can expose ourselves to the art.
107
00:04:52,054 --> 00:04:53,754
Of course. Of course.
108
00:04:53,756 --> 00:04:57,724
I had no idea you were
a topiary horticulturalist.
109
00:04:57,726 --> 00:05:00,227
Of course. Of course.
110
00:05:00,229 --> 00:05:02,162
Wait, was that a
compliment or insult?
111
00:05:02,164 --> 00:05:05,533
Cool elephant.
You do that, Hank?
112
00:05:05,534 --> 00:05:09,002
Uh, yup. And all I had to do
was expose myself in the shrub.
113
00:05:10,973 --> 00:05:13,940
Do you think Hank could
turn my hedge into a cat?
114
00:05:13,942 --> 00:05:15,809
I can set something up for you.
115
00:05:15,811 --> 00:05:16,811
Great, thanks.
116
00:05:18,013 --> 00:05:21,225
Uh. Little old for a lemonade
stand, aren't you?
117
00:05:22,246 --> 00:05:24,183
It's good, though.
118
00:05:25,653 --> 00:05:28,955
Wow. The energy in this
booth is like Dragnet,
119
00:05:28,956 --> 00:05:31,826
Hill Street Blues, and
Barney Miller rolled into one.
120
00:05:31,827 --> 00:05:33,059
Can I be Fish?
121
00:05:33,060 --> 00:05:35,729
Have either of you
watched TV this decade?
122
00:05:35,731 --> 00:05:37,031
Anything I can do?
123
00:05:37,032 --> 00:05:39,733
I already took the
liberty of making a jail.
124
00:05:40,034 --> 00:05:43,436
Good work. No one'll ever
escape that velvet Alcatraz.
125
00:05:43,438 --> 00:05:47,307
Seriously, if you need any help,
like fresh eyes on a cold case?
126
00:05:47,309 --> 00:05:49,376
Cold eyes on a fresh case?
127
00:05:49,378 --> 00:05:51,378
We're kinda busy right now.
128
00:05:51,380 --> 00:05:53,547
Hockey equipment on Amazon?
129
00:05:53,549 --> 00:05:56,016
Ooh, busting an online shopping scam?
130
00:05:56,018 --> 00:06:00,274
Yeah, the crime is how prices
sky-rocket in the winter.
131
00:06:00,988 --> 00:06:04,958
"Six easy steps to creating
the perfect catchphrase"?
132
00:06:04,960 --> 00:06:07,461
You know what? Since we're
stuck here in the office,
133
00:06:07,462 --> 00:06:11,131
why don't you be our eyes
and ears on the street?
134
00:06:11,133 --> 00:06:14,067
Cool!
Like a police informant?
135
00:06:14,069 --> 00:06:16,904
Exactly.
Eyes and ears.
136
00:06:16,905 --> 00:06:19,607
But not lips.
Lips closed.
137
00:06:19,608 --> 00:06:21,909
Gotcha.
Zip the lips.
138
00:06:23,712 --> 00:06:25,880
"Zip the lips"!
Damn.
139
00:06:25,881 --> 00:06:28,040
That is a great catchphrase.
140
00:06:29,283 --> 00:06:31,117
Can I borrow your
Sadie Spy Kit?
141
00:06:31,119 --> 00:06:33,119
I'm going undercover for the cops.
142
00:06:33,121 --> 00:06:34,889
Don't tell anyone, though.
It's top secret.
143
00:06:34,890 --> 00:06:38,429
Undercover?
What would you even...
144
00:06:43,764 --> 00:06:46,599
The john is hooked. Arrest
when the trick's in progress.
145
00:06:48,269 --> 00:06:51,539
- Hey, Lacey. Nice coat.
- Uhh! Abort! Not a trick!
146
00:06:51,540 --> 00:06:53,473
This trick will never be in progress!
147
00:06:53,475 --> 00:06:55,876
Wanda does not want to see this!
148
00:06:55,878 --> 00:06:59,045
Ooh, mama!
I do not want to see that!
149
00:06:59,047 --> 00:07:02,682
Okay, weird. Then I'll
just buy these sunglasses.
150
00:07:02,684 --> 00:07:04,018
No, you won't.
151
00:07:04,019 --> 00:07:07,721
- Are you okay?
- Yeah. I'm just super focused.
152
00:07:09,824 --> 00:07:13,159
What kind of jackass lets
people take things from a store
153
00:07:13,161 --> 00:07:14,428
and pay for them later?
154
00:07:14,429 --> 00:07:16,830
You're right. I'll call Visa and
tell them they're being silly.
155
00:07:16,831 --> 00:07:20,133
You need to grow a spleen
and collect those debts.
156
00:07:20,135 --> 00:07:22,336
I don't want to force my
friends to pay if they can't.
157
00:07:22,337 --> 00:07:23,537
And it's not much.
158
00:07:23,538 --> 00:07:26,206
Two bucks here, five bucks
there, what's the big deal?
159
00:07:26,207 --> 00:07:28,141
Two chili dogs here,
five burgers there.
160
00:07:28,143 --> 00:07:31,378
- Now what do you weigh?
- Hmm.
161
00:07:31,379 --> 00:07:34,349
When you put it that cruelly,
maybe I will take a look.
162
00:07:36,951 --> 00:07:38,519
I asked for a cat, right?
163
00:07:38,520 --> 00:07:41,488
'Cause I'm not seeing
the cat part of the cat.
164
00:07:41,490 --> 00:07:44,724
I believe this is
an abstract interpretation
165
00:07:44,726 --> 00:07:47,193
of the fluidity of the feline form.
166
00:07:47,195 --> 00:07:49,162
Uh. Wasn't that supposed
to be an ear?
167
00:07:49,164 --> 00:07:53,234
Perhaps... the cat's not listening
because the artist is
168
00:07:53,235 --> 00:07:57,304
- listening to the cat.
- Ah. Now I see it.
169
00:07:57,306 --> 00:08:01,596
What's an artist gotta do to
get a glass of water around here?
170
00:08:01,631 --> 00:08:03,844
So sorry, Hank!
Sparkling or tap?
171
00:08:03,845 --> 00:08:06,746
- Half and half.
- You want watered-down water?
172
00:08:06,748 --> 00:08:11,718
Emma, could you please not have
people speak directly to me?
173
00:08:11,720 --> 00:08:12,919
Nice.
174
00:08:12,920 --> 00:08:17,290
Okay, let's see what secrets
this town holds.
175
00:08:18,392 --> 00:08:22,762
Last night, I caught Rheena
cheating at bridge.
176
00:08:22,764 --> 00:08:24,664
Hmm...
177
00:08:24,666 --> 00:08:28,935
I scammed Davis out of giving me a
ticket using the "C'mon" argument.
178
00:08:31,439 --> 00:08:33,873
♪ Camptown racist
Five times wrong ♪
179
00:08:33,875 --> 00:08:37,711
- ♪ All the live-long day! ♪
- Oh!
180
00:08:38,205 --> 00:08:40,406
None of these things are crimes.
181
00:08:40,408 --> 00:08:42,609
This last one
is just a mixed-up song.
182
00:08:42,611 --> 00:08:44,811
But we do need to discuss
your susceptibility
183
00:08:44,813 --> 00:08:47,047
- to the "C'mon" argument.
- Not now.
184
00:08:47,048 --> 00:08:49,783
Lacey, you're a loose cannon.
You're off the beat.
185
00:08:49,784 --> 00:08:52,455
- C'mon!
- Okay, you're in.
186
00:08:52,490 --> 00:08:55,493
- C'mon!
- Right. Sorry, Lacey, you're done.
187
00:08:55,688 --> 00:08:57,351
- C'mon!
- She makes a good point.
188
00:08:57,352 --> 00:09:00,486
- Ugh!
- Yes! I'll find a crime if it kills me.
189
00:09:00,638 --> 00:09:01,972
Which would be a crime.
190
00:09:01,973 --> 00:09:04,340
But I'd be dead and couldn't
investigate it.
191
00:09:04,342 --> 00:09:06,776
Wow, your jobs are hard.
192
00:09:06,778 --> 00:09:10,981
And that's why my
catchphrase is... job hard!
193
00:09:10,982 --> 00:09:13,783
Yecch, that's the
worst one yet.
194
00:09:14,518 --> 00:09:16,053
Jeez, that is
a whack of cabbage.
195
00:09:16,054 --> 00:09:18,354
That's enough cabbage
to hire someone
196
00:09:18,356 --> 00:09:19,923
to whack your cabbage for you!
197
00:09:19,924 --> 00:09:21,492
I hope I don't know
what that means.
198
00:09:21,493 --> 00:09:24,260
But this isn't personal money,
it belongs to Corner Gas.
199
00:09:24,262 --> 00:09:27,763
And don't forget who sold you
this cash camel in the first place!
200
00:09:27,765 --> 00:09:29,999
Yeah, well, anyway,
I should get moving.
201
00:09:30,001 --> 00:09:32,502
These debts won't collect
themselves, will they?
202
00:09:32,504 --> 00:09:34,505
Will they?
'Cause I usually nap around...
203
00:09:34,506 --> 00:09:36,572
You're too soft.
204
00:09:36,574 --> 00:09:38,541
What you need
is some muscle for backup.
205
00:09:38,543 --> 00:09:40,910
You're right.
I should call Mom.
206
00:09:40,912 --> 00:09:43,658
Aw, hmph!
207
00:09:47,368 --> 00:09:49,970
Okay, get in and out
nice and quick.
208
00:09:49,972 --> 00:09:53,007
Eye contact, jab him with the
bill, don't let him fight back.
209
00:09:53,008 --> 00:09:55,944
Relax. It's Phil.
It's not Mike Tyson.
210
00:09:55,945 --> 00:09:58,879
Now, stay here. I don't
want you making it weird.
211
00:10:00,281 --> 00:10:01,349
Well, that got weird.
212
00:10:01,350 --> 00:10:03,217
You can't even get
what's owed to you
213
00:10:03,219 --> 00:10:06,486
- without screwing it up.
- Phil had a good point.
214
00:10:06,487 --> 00:10:09,890
He owes me 20, but he's also
given me a lot of free perks.
215
00:10:09,892 --> 00:10:11,993
Chairs.
Coasters.
216
00:10:11,994 --> 00:10:13,228
Geo-political tête-à-têtes.
217
00:10:13,229 --> 00:10:16,864
All things you're supposed to
get when you drink at a bar!
218
00:10:16,866 --> 00:10:20,134
- Damn, he's good.
- Yeah. He's like Mike Tyson,
219
00:10:20,135 --> 00:10:22,514
except he talked your ear off.
220
00:10:24,739 --> 00:10:26,907
Wanda, do you have
any gardening gloves?
221
00:10:26,909 --> 00:10:30,444
I'm focusing here!
Stay outta my head!
222
00:10:31,079 --> 00:10:35,115
These'll do. We have to protect
those talented hands of yours.
223
00:10:35,117 --> 00:10:38,151
I had no idea being
an artist was so much work.
224
00:10:38,153 --> 00:10:41,722
I thought it was just
fancy cigarettes and berets.
225
00:10:44,492 --> 00:10:48,528
Paint me like one of your
exotic foreign fillies.
226
00:10:49,230 --> 00:10:52,533
- Wanda, how much are these gloves?
- Sicko!
227
00:10:52,534 --> 00:10:55,069
- What'd I do?
- There you are, Hank.
228
00:10:55,070 --> 00:10:57,604
When do you think you can
get at my boxwood?
229
00:10:57,606 --> 00:11:00,941
- Pervert!
- Pervert? Who's a pervert?
230
00:11:00,942 --> 00:11:02,610
You're the one walking the streets.
231
00:11:02,611 --> 00:11:04,879
- What?
- How come she doesn't get slapped?
232
00:11:04,880 --> 00:11:07,881
- We're taking these gloves.
- Fine! Everyone, go!
233
00:11:07,883 --> 00:11:11,919
Leave me alone!
You're all fogging my brain laser.
234
00:11:11,921 --> 00:11:14,856
Now that they're gone,
about this pervert...
235
00:11:14,857 --> 00:11:17,087
Lasering!
236
00:11:19,127 --> 00:11:22,129
Hey, Won. I need to collect
that 50 bucks you owe me.
237
00:11:22,131 --> 00:11:24,331
Ohh, jeez, that's bad timing.
238
00:11:24,333 --> 00:11:26,400
We're a little strapped
for cash right now.
239
00:11:26,402 --> 00:11:29,737
- Hey, Dad, our new iPads arrived.
- Finally!
240
00:11:29,738 --> 00:11:31,605
Those ones were covered
in fingerprints.
241
00:11:31,607 --> 00:11:35,008
Anyway, as I was saying,
cash flow, you know?
242
00:11:35,010 --> 00:11:37,445
Oh, I hear ya.
Catch you next time.
243
00:11:37,446 --> 00:11:42,549
What kind of hinky nickel
switcheroo are you trying to...
244
00:11:42,551 --> 00:11:44,997
Oh, so that's how it's gonna be.
245
00:11:47,655 --> 00:11:50,324
Close enough.
246
00:11:51,960 --> 00:11:53,660
Ooh!
247
00:11:54,062 --> 00:11:57,364
Is it going to be a duck?
I really want it to be a duck.
248
00:11:57,366 --> 00:12:00,734
Whereas some artists
choose a subject,
249
00:12:00,736 --> 00:12:05,087
Hank removes pieces until the
essence of the subject appears.
250
00:12:05,640 --> 00:12:07,275
Ahhhh!
251
00:12:07,276 --> 00:12:10,345
Emma, tell Hank he's been
commissioned to do a topiary
252
00:12:10,346 --> 00:12:12,612
representing the town of Dog River.
253
00:12:12,614 --> 00:12:15,452
- Deal!
- Oh. Great.
254
00:12:18,553 --> 00:12:22,522
Uh, I believe there's a bead
of sweat on my brow?
255
00:12:26,561 --> 00:12:29,363
Not that I'm ever unhappy
to see a wheel of cheese,
256
00:12:29,365 --> 00:12:30,932
but why do you have
a wheel of cheese?
257
00:12:31,083 --> 00:12:34,017
Won owed you 50 bucks.
This is worth 45.
258
00:12:34,019 --> 00:12:36,888
- Consider that debt paid.
- Oh, good idea.
259
00:12:36,889 --> 00:12:40,090
I could barter for goods
instead of asking for the cash.
260
00:12:40,092 --> 00:12:42,226
Far less awkward.
Smart thinking, Dad.
261
00:12:42,227 --> 00:12:43,528
Damn straight.
262
00:12:43,529 --> 00:12:46,196
I've been doing business
since you were still...
263
00:12:46,198 --> 00:12:47,931
We gonna crack that
thing or what?
264
00:12:49,167 --> 00:12:52,536
I can't believe my parents
think I stole a wheel of cheese.
265
00:12:52,538 --> 00:12:55,338
Like one person could eat
an entire wheel of cheese.
266
00:12:55,340 --> 00:12:59,191
Must be a shoplifting
syndicate or something.
267
00:12:59,911 --> 00:13:03,079
Shoot! Lost my eBay bid
on those hockey gloves.
268
00:13:03,081 --> 00:13:04,381
You think that's bad?
269
00:13:04,382 --> 00:13:07,817
This online catchphrase
creator is the worst.
270
00:13:07,819 --> 00:13:10,253
Well, that's a kick in the kitten!
271
00:13:10,255 --> 00:13:12,355
Tell that to my 'stache!
272
00:13:12,357 --> 00:13:14,991
Kiss my dusty backdraft!
273
00:13:14,993 --> 00:13:16,693
Don't hate that last one.
274
00:13:17,395 --> 00:13:21,097
Word on the street is there's a
cheese thief targeting Foo Mart.
275
00:13:21,099 --> 00:13:23,266
Cheese thief. Pfft.
276
00:13:23,268 --> 00:13:25,569
Are they in cahoots
with the cracker cartel?
277
00:13:25,571 --> 00:13:27,604
Actually, that sounds serious.
278
00:13:27,606 --> 00:13:30,006
We'll stay here,
and you go check it out.
279
00:13:30,008 --> 00:13:34,212
Oh, yeah...
Go. Take your time.
280
00:13:34,213 --> 00:13:36,446
Get all the information you can.
281
00:13:36,448 --> 00:13:40,083
Copy that loud and clear, m'dear.
282
00:13:40,085 --> 00:13:43,720
"Loud and clear, m'dear."
She's a catchphrase machine.
283
00:13:46,190 --> 00:13:48,625
Wow, Hank's finished already?
284
00:13:51,262 --> 00:13:54,598
Your best work yet!
The dog is literally in the river,
285
00:13:54,600 --> 00:13:57,901
drowning in the expanse
of his own existence.
286
00:13:57,903 --> 00:14:01,905
- I haven't started yet.
- Why was it covered with the tarp?
287
00:14:01,907 --> 00:14:05,109
So I could remember which
shrubbery was supposed to work on?
288
00:14:07,011 --> 00:14:09,512
- I don't know what I'm doing.
- No, you don't.
289
00:14:09,513 --> 00:14:11,514
And I've been fooling myself
into thinking you did.
290
00:14:11,516 --> 00:14:15,185
The elephant was an accident,
but you saw the beauty in it.
291
00:14:15,187 --> 00:14:17,354
You're the real artist, Emma.
292
00:14:17,356 --> 00:14:21,024
- I don't know if I'm ready for this.
- Don't worry, it's great.
293
00:14:21,026 --> 00:14:24,794
I mean, you get slapped a lot...
but hey, free water!
294
00:14:27,064 --> 00:14:30,433
Hey, Mavis, I'm here to collect
the $20 you owe me for gas.
295
00:14:30,435 --> 00:14:32,535
You can pay cash, or...
296
00:14:33,604 --> 00:14:36,239
What the hell are you going
to do with a fondue pot?
297
00:14:36,241 --> 00:14:39,176
Fondue something?
Till then, cheese me, Daddy.
298
00:14:53,057 --> 00:14:55,625
My IOU list is now
IOU-seless.
299
00:14:55,627 --> 00:14:57,694
You're not out of the
woods yet, buddy boy.
300
00:14:57,696 --> 00:15:00,063
I know, I still have
to pick a toenail polish.
301
00:15:00,065 --> 00:15:03,600
No, I mean what are you going to
do with all that junk you have now?
302
00:15:03,602 --> 00:15:04,935
I'll think of something.
303
00:15:04,936 --> 00:15:06,679
You're just out of sorts because we ate
304
00:15:06,745 --> 00:15:09,203
- a whole wheel of cheese.
- I had one slice!
305
00:15:09,238 --> 00:15:11,884
You're right, we should
be ashamed of ourselves.
306
00:15:12,576 --> 00:15:15,413
So the cheese was just
payment for Brent's IOU?
307
00:15:15,414 --> 00:15:18,948
- That's disappointing.
- Says you.
308
00:15:18,949 --> 00:15:21,751
We owed him 50,
and the cheese was 45.
309
00:15:21,753 --> 00:15:23,520
Five bucks is a lot
when you're a small business
310
00:15:23,522 --> 00:15:25,456
- trying to eke out a living.
- Oop.
311
00:15:25,457 --> 00:15:27,625
My smart watch says
my Fitbit is done charging.
312
00:15:27,626 --> 00:15:30,994
Time to hit the treadmill.
313
00:15:30,996 --> 00:15:33,430
Is that a hover board?
314
00:15:36,567 --> 00:15:40,437
Oh. It's so much more peaceful in
here without Lacey bugging us.
315
00:15:40,439 --> 00:15:43,174
Yeah, we'll have to find
another goose for her to chase.
316
00:15:45,410 --> 00:15:47,310
So not only was
the cheese stolen,
317
00:15:47,312 --> 00:15:49,713
but Won said there's
a massive theft ring in town,
318
00:15:49,715 --> 00:15:52,415
and everyone's being extorted
for protection money!
319
00:15:52,417 --> 00:15:54,184
Sounds like the mafia to me.
320
00:15:55,553 --> 00:15:59,055
I think we'd know if there
was mafia in Dog River.
321
00:15:59,057 --> 00:16:00,558
Yeah?
Why is the police station
322
00:16:00,559 --> 00:16:04,160
the only building still without power?
323
00:16:04,162 --> 00:16:06,440
...Mafia.
324
00:16:11,000 --> 00:16:13,902
Hey, what the hell?
I'm crunching numbers here,
325
00:16:13,903 --> 00:16:15,670
and you're playing
"Baby's First Flea Market"?
326
00:16:15,672 --> 00:16:17,806
Flea Market?
That's not a bad idea.
327
00:16:17,808 --> 00:16:19,875
If I sell all the stuff
I bartered for,
328
00:16:19,877 --> 00:16:23,390
- I'll be rolling in dough.
- Uh-oh.
329
00:16:28,951 --> 00:16:31,219
Would you stop eating the boat?
330
00:16:31,221 --> 00:16:35,357
Wait. Did you say "rowing in dough"
or "rolling in dough"?
331
00:16:36,993 --> 00:16:40,429
- That's the last box from the car.
- Thanks.
332
00:16:40,590 --> 00:16:41,958
Now, help me take it back outside.
333
00:16:41,959 --> 00:16:42,792
I'm having a yard sale.
334
00:16:42,793 --> 00:16:45,627
No way!
I've been helping you all day.
335
00:16:45,629 --> 00:16:46,896
I deserve compensation.
336
00:16:46,897 --> 00:16:49,898
You already got a pedicure
and a slice of cheese.
337
00:16:49,900 --> 00:16:52,233
Grab a box, and
don't scuff your nail polish.
338
00:16:52,235 --> 00:16:55,972
Fine. I'll take my own payment.
339
00:16:55,973 --> 00:17:00,241
I'm telling you, this crime ring
is bigger than you can imagine.
340
00:17:00,243 --> 00:17:02,344
If the mafia was in Dog River,
341
00:17:02,346 --> 00:17:05,213
we'd see more crime than
a missing cheese wheel.
342
00:17:05,215 --> 00:17:07,983
Yeah. Like extortion
or fencing of stolen items.
343
00:17:07,985 --> 00:17:10,086
Hey, Josh, wanna buy a blender?
344
00:17:10,087 --> 00:17:14,022
- Hundred bucks!
- A hundred? That's extortion.
345
00:17:14,024 --> 00:17:17,293
- Why are you selling a blender?
- It's my cut of the take.
346
00:17:17,294 --> 00:17:20,128
Brent thinks he can screw me
out of the loot?
347
00:17:20,130 --> 00:17:23,498
He may be the big boss,
but he's not the boss of me!
348
00:17:28,137 --> 00:17:31,873
- That looks a lot like loot!
- Lacey was right.
349
00:17:31,875 --> 00:17:35,176
Brent's heading up a stolen
merch fencing operation.
350
00:17:35,178 --> 00:17:37,847
You mean Brent's clean-cut,
baby-face thing
351
00:17:37,848 --> 00:17:40,750
has been a facade all along?
My stars.
352
00:17:40,751 --> 00:17:43,218
Time to formulate a cop plan.
353
00:17:43,220 --> 00:17:46,154
And then we...
Book 'em, Davis!
354
00:17:46,156 --> 00:17:48,679
Nope, hate that one already.
355
00:17:51,060 --> 00:17:53,528
Ladies and gentlemen,
Hank has created
356
00:17:53,530 --> 00:17:57,386
his most ambitious piece
of living art to date.
357
00:17:58,300 --> 00:18:03,113
Behold the Dog River
Dog in River!
358
00:18:05,675 --> 00:18:10,311
As you can see, the artist has
clearly entered his literal phase.
359
00:18:10,313 --> 00:18:13,014
I think I can speak for myself.
360
00:18:13,016 --> 00:18:17,919
You see, uh, it's a dog.
In a river.
361
00:18:17,921 --> 00:18:20,823
'Cause...
Dog River.
362
00:18:20,824 --> 00:18:23,792
Such a pedestrian interpretation.
363
00:18:23,794 --> 00:18:26,595
Where's the subtlety?
The subtext?
364
00:18:26,596 --> 00:18:29,798
If I can see the art,
where's the art, right, Emma?
365
00:18:29,800 --> 00:18:32,033
Uh... I have something to say.
366
00:18:32,035 --> 00:18:34,804
Oh, thank God.
Tell 'em, Emma.
367
00:18:34,805 --> 00:18:37,339
They're right.
This is terrible.
368
00:18:37,340 --> 00:18:40,408
You really crapped the bed, Hank.
369
00:18:41,478 --> 00:18:44,313
Crapped the bed?
This wasn't even me!
370
00:18:44,314 --> 00:18:48,383
- Now he's in his self-doubt phase.
- So sad.
371
00:18:49,719 --> 00:18:51,353
Hey, Brent, get this!
It's so funny.
372
00:18:51,354 --> 00:18:54,723
I told Karen and Davis
that there is a mafia in town,
373
00:18:54,725 --> 00:18:55,591
and they think that...
374
00:18:55,592 --> 00:18:57,693
Hey.
What's all that stuff?
375
00:18:57,694 --> 00:18:59,828
- Freeze!
- Uh-oh.
376
00:18:59,829 --> 00:19:01,996
What's going on,
friends I've known for years
377
00:19:01,998 --> 00:19:03,998
who are now pointing guns at me?
378
00:19:04,000 --> 00:19:06,434
We know about your
underground theft ring.
379
00:19:06,436 --> 00:19:11,207
We got a tip from a secret
informant. Thanks, Lacey.
380
00:19:11,208 --> 00:19:12,374
I was just messing with you guys
381
00:19:12,375 --> 00:19:14,776
because you sent me on
a wild goose chase.
382
00:19:14,778 --> 00:19:17,645
- So Brent's not a mafia kingpin?
- Kingpin?
383
00:19:17,646 --> 00:19:21,007
I'm a simple flea market
manager, right, Wanda?
384
00:19:22,585 --> 00:19:23,719
Hoo hoo hoo hoo!
385
00:19:25,455 --> 00:19:28,590
Okay, that's the kingpin
and the goose chase,
386
00:19:28,592 --> 00:19:29,859
where's the flea part?
387
00:19:29,860 --> 00:19:33,462
Damn, she's locked in.
Look, I didn't steal anything.
388
00:19:33,463 --> 00:19:35,396
I got the idea
to barter for this stuff
389
00:19:35,398 --> 00:19:37,766
when Won gave my dad
a cheese wheel.
390
00:19:37,768 --> 00:19:39,968
Please don't ask for the evidence.
391
00:19:39,970 --> 00:19:43,605
- Everything my son says is true.
- My bad.
392
00:19:43,606 --> 00:19:45,707
Except that I didn't
barter for the cheese.
393
00:19:45,709 --> 00:19:49,644
- I took it.
- So you stole the cheese?
394
00:19:49,646 --> 00:19:52,981
Your bad. Let's talk
about this downtown.
395
00:19:52,983 --> 00:19:55,350
And by "downtown,"
I mean The Ruby.
396
00:19:55,352 --> 00:19:57,085
Ooh! How much
for the hockey gloves?
397
00:19:57,087 --> 00:19:57,987
Twenty bucks?
398
00:19:57,988 --> 00:20:00,789
- Can I owe you?
- Sure, just write me an IOU.
399
00:20:00,791 --> 00:20:04,426
- Alriiight!
- Look out, king headpin!
400
00:20:04,427 --> 00:20:09,520
Your goose is being stolen
by a giant talking flea!
401
00:20:11,424 --> 00:20:13,957
What the hell kind of jail is this?
402
00:20:13,959 --> 00:20:16,326
I demand to talk to my lawyer!
403
00:20:16,328 --> 00:20:19,297
- Clap your trap, convict.
- Is that your new catchphrase?
404
00:20:19,298 --> 00:20:22,600
Nah, I'm done with that.
When in doubt, over and out.
405
00:20:22,601 --> 00:20:25,177
Ooh, can I have that one?
406
00:20:25,297 --> 00:20:26,431
Aah!
407
00:20:26,432 --> 00:20:29,701
Pretty awesome swamp
monster, huh?
408
00:20:29,702 --> 00:20:31,769
None of you people
understand art!
409
00:20:31,771 --> 00:20:34,371
You're still
working on those books?
410
00:20:34,373 --> 00:20:36,206
So much for laser focus.
411
00:20:36,208 --> 00:20:40,177
Neeeeyoooow...
neeyooow...
412
00:20:40,179 --> 00:20:42,279
Are you slicing me in half
with laser eyes?
413
00:20:42,280 --> 00:20:44,281
Yup. And here
comes the steamroller.
414
00:20:44,283 --> 00:20:47,218
Rum-rum-rum-rum-rum.
Pfft.
415
00:20:47,219 --> 00:20:49,554
- Ew.
- Just finish up the books.
416
00:20:49,555 --> 00:20:52,389
- I need to know where I stand.
- Fine.
417
00:20:52,390 --> 00:20:54,091
Why is the first entry
in accounts payable
418
00:20:54,093 --> 00:20:56,895
an IOU to Oscar
for the sale of Corner Gas?
419
00:20:56,896 --> 00:20:58,396
When you bought this place,
420
00:20:58,397 --> 00:21:01,500
- did you forget to pay him?
- No.
421
00:21:01,535 --> 00:21:03,344
He forgot to collect.
422
00:21:08,120 --> 00:21:09,588
♪ I don't know ♪
423
00:21:09,589 --> 00:21:12,523
♪ The same things
you don't know ♪
424
00:21:15,927 --> 00:21:17,928
♪ I don't know ♪
425
00:21:17,930 --> 00:21:20,931
♪ I just... don't know ♪
426
00:21:23,001 --> 00:21:26,937
- ♪ Ooh ♪
- ♪ It's a great big place ♪
427
00:21:26,939 --> 00:21:30,341
- ♪ Ooh ♪
- ♪ Full of nothin' but space ♪
428
00:21:30,343 --> 00:21:34,278
- ♪ Ooh ♪
- ♪ And it's my happy place ♪
429
00:21:34,280 --> 00:21:36,847
♪ I don't know ♪
430
00:21:37,767 --> 00:21:41,040
sync & correction by f1nc0
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