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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:00,004 --> 00:00:03,121 sync & correction by f1nc0 ~ Addic7ed.com ~ 2 00:00:03,907 --> 00:00:06,574 Okay, that'll be... 3 00:00:08,444 --> 00:00:11,812 - ...$35.00. - 35 bucks for toilet paper? 4 00:00:11,814 --> 00:00:14,949 Yeesh, does it also come with one of those butt fountains? 5 00:00:14,951 --> 00:00:17,451 - You know what a bidet is? - Ha. Yeah. 6 00:00:17,453 --> 00:00:19,620 I, uh, also know it doesn't cost anything 7 00:00:19,622 --> 00:00:22,056 to run a garden hose through your bathroom window. 8 00:00:22,058 --> 00:00:23,991 That's... No, that's 3.50. 9 00:00:23,993 --> 00:00:25,594 Oh, man, sorry about that. 10 00:00:25,595 --> 00:00:28,763 - I have not been sleeping well lately. - Thank you. 11 00:00:28,864 --> 00:00:31,899 Now I'm gonna go take care of some personal business, 12 00:00:31,901 --> 00:00:33,335 and then I'm gonna take a dump. 13 00:00:33,336 --> 00:00:36,938 I wish we sold brain wipes so I could forget I heard that. 14 00:00:36,940 --> 00:00:40,007 - So, why haven't you been sleeping? - I keep having nightmares. 15 00:00:40,009 --> 00:00:41,009 What's a nightmare for you? 16 00:00:41,010 --> 00:00:43,210 Open the fridge, and there's no cheese slices? 17 00:00:43,212 --> 00:00:46,280 No, it's not that terrifying. It's just disturbing. 18 00:00:46,282 --> 00:00:48,049 I can't remember all the details, 19 00:00:48,051 --> 00:00:52,153 but they all seem to end with Michael J. Fox attacking me. 20 00:00:54,023 --> 00:00:57,358 Look, kid, don't make my boys get tough. 21 00:00:57,360 --> 00:00:59,360 All you gotta do is take dive in the fifth, 22 00:00:59,362 --> 00:01:01,095 and you get a nice chunk o' change. 23 00:01:01,097 --> 00:01:03,631 You get me? The fix is in, kid. 24 00:01:04,866 --> 00:01:07,635 No one is fixing anything while I'm around, tubby! 25 00:01:09,871 --> 00:01:11,172 And then he said, 26 00:01:11,173 --> 00:01:13,808 "No one is fixing anything while I'm around, handsome!" 27 00:01:13,810 --> 00:01:15,810 and he blasted me with bullets. 28 00:01:15,812 --> 00:01:17,678 - He called you handsome? - Yes. 29 00:01:17,680 --> 00:01:19,247 Yes, he did. 30 00:01:19,248 --> 00:01:22,817 ♪ You think there's not a lot goin' on ♪ 31 00:01:22,819 --> 00:01:25,953 ♪ Look closer, baby you're so wrong ♪ 32 00:01:25,955 --> 00:01:29,361 2x01 - Dream Waiver 33 00:01:29,524 --> 00:01:32,860 These Michael J. Fox dreams are really starting to freak me out. 34 00:01:32,862 --> 00:01:36,664 Yeah, they sound horrifying. Well, see you in five days! 35 00:01:36,666 --> 00:01:38,666 Five days? Wh-where are you going? 36 00:01:38,668 --> 00:01:41,202 I already told you, I'm heading to Vegas for the weekend. 37 00:01:41,204 --> 00:01:43,070 How long do you think a weekend is? 38 00:01:43,072 --> 00:01:45,840 - Does it have to be this weekend? - Yeah! 39 00:01:45,842 --> 00:01:47,908 I got a promo code for Cheap Wing Airlines. 40 00:01:47,910 --> 00:01:50,678 It expires in 24 hours. I have to book it now. 41 00:01:50,680 --> 00:01:53,014 No way! You-you can't leave me like this. 42 00:01:53,016 --> 00:01:56,280 My head isn't workin' right. Look how I stacked the oil! 43 00:01:56,952 --> 00:01:58,120 Just don't make any sudden movements 44 00:01:58,121 --> 00:02:00,654 until I get back. See ya! 45 00:02:00,656 --> 00:02:03,124 No, you-you can't go until I can get some sleep. 46 00:02:03,126 --> 00:02:05,493 I can't miss out on a flight this cheap. 47 00:02:05,495 --> 00:02:09,264 Okay look, if I solve your stupid dream problem, can I go to Vegas? 48 00:02:09,265 --> 00:02:10,932 Yeah, but how are you going to do that? 49 00:02:10,933 --> 00:02:13,235 Dream analysis. Crack that melon open 50 00:02:13,236 --> 00:02:16,070 and see what nightmare goo leaks out. 51 00:02:16,072 --> 00:02:17,872 You're speaking theoretically, right? 52 00:02:21,576 --> 00:02:24,845 Ow! There's a loose board on these stairs! 53 00:02:24,847 --> 00:02:27,948 - Damn near killed me. - Do it again, and try harder. 54 00:02:27,950 --> 00:02:31,685 - Oscar, are you okay? - I think I broke a toe! 55 00:02:31,687 --> 00:02:32,921 Step aside, we got this. 56 00:02:33,956 --> 00:02:36,992 - What the hell are you... - Elevate your toe behind your head. 57 00:02:36,993 --> 00:02:39,593 - Put this spoon under your tongue. - Stand back! 58 00:02:39,594 --> 00:02:41,294 I need to punch his heart! 59 00:02:41,430 --> 00:02:44,598 Ah! Get the hell off of me, you jackasses. 60 00:02:44,600 --> 00:02:48,402 He's okay. You all saw him decline first aid. 61 00:02:48,404 --> 00:02:50,938 I saw him get assaulted by the cops. 62 00:02:50,940 --> 00:02:53,774 Good point. This is their fault! 63 00:02:53,776 --> 00:02:56,178 - Hey! - Oh-ho-ho, man. 64 00:02:56,179 --> 00:02:58,112 Spoon in the mouth, punch in the heart? 65 00:02:58,114 --> 00:03:01,116 - You guys suck at first aid. - We don't suck. 66 00:03:01,117 --> 00:03:03,385 It's just been a while since we took the training. 67 00:03:03,386 --> 00:03:05,319 Maybe it's time you took a refresher course. 68 00:03:05,321 --> 00:03:08,255 We know everything we need to know. 69 00:03:10,636 --> 00:03:13,205 - What's up? - Oscar tripped on the stairs, 70 00:03:13,206 --> 00:03:15,706 and I'm not sure what my insurance covers. 71 00:03:15,708 --> 00:03:16,875 Here it is. 72 00:03:16,876 --> 00:03:19,476 So, you, uh, covered for a lawsuit? 73 00:03:19,478 --> 00:03:22,246 No. Also not covered for anything else. 74 00:03:22,248 --> 00:03:26,717 I let this policy expire. I have no coverage at all. 75 00:03:26,719 --> 00:03:28,919 Yikes. Well, big day, 76 00:03:28,920 --> 00:03:30,955 gotta climb up onto the roof and fix the vent, 77 00:03:30,957 --> 00:03:32,356 find the leak in the gas line, 78 00:03:32,357 --> 00:03:34,025 and these knives aren't going to sharpen themselves. 79 00:03:34,026 --> 00:03:36,861 No, no! Just leave it. You just, uh... 80 00:03:36,862 --> 00:03:39,998 you go sit down, on a pillow. 81 00:03:43,803 --> 00:03:46,837 D.R.P.D. We'll be right there. 82 00:03:47,706 --> 00:03:49,406 We're here. 83 00:03:50,775 --> 00:03:52,911 - What's the problem? - He's over there. 84 00:03:54,380 --> 00:03:56,247 I think I broke my leg. 85 00:03:56,249 --> 00:03:59,517 Okay, don't move. Can you wiggle your toes? 86 00:03:59,518 --> 00:04:01,252 Put your head between your knees. 87 00:04:01,254 --> 00:04:03,622 - Do not induce vomiting. - Vomiting? 88 00:04:03,623 --> 00:04:06,224 Wow. You guys are even worse than I thought. 89 00:04:06,225 --> 00:04:08,393 He's in shock. Get some soup! 90 00:04:08,394 --> 00:04:11,161 I'm not in shock, and my leg is fine. 91 00:04:11,163 --> 00:04:13,530 This was a test. 92 00:04:13,532 --> 00:04:17,034 A test? That's a waste of official police time. 93 00:04:17,036 --> 00:04:20,171 - I was halfway through a magazine. - Had to prove my point. 94 00:04:20,172 --> 00:04:22,306 You're the only first responders in Dog River, 95 00:04:22,308 --> 00:04:24,942 and our safety is in your hands. 96 00:04:24,944 --> 00:04:27,411 So until you take the refresher test, 97 00:04:27,413 --> 00:04:30,214 I'm gonna keep putting you through my test. 98 00:04:31,049 --> 00:04:33,866 Better stay on your toes. 99 00:04:37,482 --> 00:04:39,123 Okay, tell me about your dreams 100 00:04:39,125 --> 00:04:40,858 so I can figure out what's wrong with ngyou. 101 00:04:40,860 --> 00:04:44,395 - Details, go. - I don't recall a lot of detail, 102 00:04:44,397 --> 00:04:47,131 other than Michael J. Fox is very mean to me. 103 00:04:47,133 --> 00:04:48,899 You're mentally blocking the dreams 104 00:04:48,901 --> 00:04:50,668 because you're too uptight. 105 00:04:50,670 --> 00:04:54,171 Here... sit down. I gotta get you to relax. 106 00:04:54,173 --> 00:04:57,041 Breathe deep. 107 00:04:57,043 --> 00:04:59,243 Calm your mind. 108 00:05:01,831 --> 00:05:03,231 That's calmer than I was intending. 109 00:05:04,265 --> 00:05:06,601 But this gives me the chance to... Hi, Cheap Wing Airlines? 110 00:05:06,602 --> 00:05:09,603 Yeah, I want to book a flight to Vegas for this weekend, 111 00:05:09,605 --> 00:05:13,432 and I have a promo code. Um... What do you mean "not valid"? 112 00:05:13,467 --> 00:05:15,409 Okay, what kind of scam are you trying to pull? 113 00:05:15,411 --> 00:05:18,179 Don't give me that fake, "I don't know what you're talking about." 114 00:05:18,180 --> 00:05:20,447 I'm the last person you want to piss off, lady. 115 00:05:20,449 --> 00:05:24,318 - I can be your worst nightmare. - Aah! Michael J. Fox! 116 00:05:27,188 --> 00:05:31,058 And... how are we doing over here? 117 00:05:31,060 --> 00:05:32,860 Shall I clear these plates? 118 00:05:32,862 --> 00:05:35,597 "Shall"? Sure thing, Shakespeare. 119 00:05:35,598 --> 00:05:37,898 I hope you saved room for dessert. 120 00:05:37,900 --> 00:05:40,901 In fact, Oscar, how would you like a free pudding? 121 00:05:40,903 --> 00:05:42,437 Damn right I would! 122 00:05:42,438 --> 00:05:46,541 I just need you to, uh, sign here, and I'll bring it right out. 123 00:05:46,542 --> 00:05:48,675 Why do you have to sign for pudding, 124 00:05:48,677 --> 00:05:51,044 and why are you covering most of it with your hand? 125 00:05:51,046 --> 00:05:52,980 Let me see that. 126 00:05:52,982 --> 00:05:56,451 - This is a legal waiver! - It is? Wha... that's weird. 127 00:05:56,452 --> 00:05:59,420 Josh, you put some legal stuff in with the pudding papers! 128 00:05:59,421 --> 00:06:01,722 I've been on the pillow the whole time! 129 00:06:01,724 --> 00:06:04,792 I see what you're trying to do, and it's pretty low. 130 00:06:04,793 --> 00:06:07,995 Tricking Oscar so he can't sue you for his sore toe. 131 00:06:07,997 --> 00:06:10,498 Sue you? Well, hot damn! 132 00:06:10,499 --> 00:06:13,901 I never even thought about suing until now. 133 00:06:13,903 --> 00:06:15,169 See you in court, kid. 134 00:06:15,170 --> 00:06:19,129 Me thinks I shall be screwed. Verily. 135 00:06:22,826 --> 00:06:24,726 ♪ Money, money, money ♪ 136 00:06:24,728 --> 00:06:28,230 ♪ I'm coming into money... ♪ Uh, uh, I mean... 137 00:06:28,232 --> 00:06:32,601 Ow. My toe. I can no longer dance. 138 00:06:32,603 --> 00:06:35,637 Is a life without dancing even worth living? 139 00:06:35,639 --> 00:06:37,973 So he's laying it on a little thick. 140 00:06:37,975 --> 00:06:40,342 Although thick is his default setting. 141 00:06:40,344 --> 00:06:43,578 Please, Emma. You can't let Oscar sue me. 142 00:06:43,580 --> 00:06:46,248 If he sues you, it doesn't come out of your pocket. 143 00:06:46,250 --> 00:06:50,952 - Your insurance has to pay. - I accidentally let my insurance lapse. 144 00:06:50,954 --> 00:06:53,121 If he sues me now, I'll lose everything. 145 00:06:53,123 --> 00:06:55,457 - I'll be destitute. - Well... 146 00:06:55,459 --> 00:06:58,460 I guess totally destroying you would be a bit much. 147 00:06:58,462 --> 00:07:01,296 Okay, quick, while it's still fresh in your mind. 148 00:07:01,298 --> 00:07:03,465 - What happened? - It was terrible. 149 00:07:03,467 --> 00:07:04,967 Come on, come on, I'm on hold here. 150 00:07:04,968 --> 00:07:09,204 Well, it started with me in an old-timey circus tent... 151 00:07:13,844 --> 00:07:17,846 - Michael J. Fox! - Nice costume, flabby. 152 00:07:17,848 --> 00:07:21,250 I'm surprised there was enough fabric left over to make this tent. 153 00:07:22,686 --> 00:07:24,686 Why are you doing this to me? 154 00:07:24,688 --> 00:07:28,857 Oh, a frilly umbrella. Are you a magical British nanny? 155 00:07:28,859 --> 00:07:31,460 Pleased to meet you, Mary Blobbins. 156 00:07:34,198 --> 00:07:36,732 Whoa, whoa! I want down! 157 00:07:36,733 --> 00:07:38,600 Why didn't you say so? 158 00:07:42,538 --> 00:07:45,408 - Whoa, that is screwed up. - I know. 159 00:07:45,409 --> 00:07:47,309 Spandex is not a forgiving fabric. 160 00:07:47,311 --> 00:07:49,911 These dreams can only mean one thing. 161 00:07:49,913 --> 00:07:53,148 - What? - Michael J. Fox is clearly a murderer. 162 00:07:53,150 --> 00:07:55,151 Hand me the phone. I have to call the Hollywood police. 163 00:07:55,152 --> 00:07:57,820 I can't! I'm on hold with the Cheap Wing cheapos. 164 00:07:57,821 --> 00:07:59,955 Besides, dreams aren't literal. 165 00:07:59,957 --> 00:08:02,390 Like I don't actually have lobster claws for hands 166 00:08:02,392 --> 00:08:04,326 and live in a pumpkin with Tony the Tiger. 167 00:08:04,328 --> 00:08:07,629 - Geez, are you okay? - My point is, they're symbolic, 168 00:08:07,631 --> 00:08:08,898 and I can get to the bottom of this 169 00:08:08,899 --> 00:08:10,799 as long as I stay hyper-focused on your... 170 00:08:10,801 --> 00:08:12,802 - Hello? - I'm here, I'm here! 171 00:08:12,803 --> 00:08:16,738 You backstabbing pack of thieves. Do you have children? 172 00:08:16,739 --> 00:08:18,907 I bet you they're ashamed to be related to you. 173 00:08:18,909 --> 00:08:22,712 "My mommy is Chief BS Officer at the Fraud Factory!" 174 00:08:22,713 --> 00:08:25,147 - I don't know what kind of two-bit... - Brent! 175 00:08:25,148 --> 00:08:26,249 Have you seen your parents? 176 00:08:26,250 --> 00:08:27,884 - Who did? - Your parents! 177 00:08:27,885 --> 00:08:30,153 You have to talk to them. They're threatening to sue me. 178 00:08:30,154 --> 00:08:33,422 - Sure, sure, help yourself. - Are you okay? 179 00:08:33,423 --> 00:08:35,390 Did you even hear what I just said? 180 00:08:35,392 --> 00:08:37,860 Huh? Oh, hey, yeah, Lacey. 181 00:08:37,861 --> 00:08:39,794 Hey, how do you think I'd look in a onesie? 182 00:08:39,796 --> 00:08:42,764 I'll take care of this myself. 183 00:08:42,766 --> 00:08:45,367 Just say, good or bad. I can take it. 184 00:08:46,336 --> 00:08:47,837 That was embarrassing. 185 00:08:47,838 --> 00:08:50,438 We can't let Hank get the better of us again. 186 00:08:50,440 --> 00:08:52,875 I'm not going through that whole first aid manual. 187 00:08:52,876 --> 00:08:54,609 It's as thick as a phone book. 188 00:08:54,611 --> 00:08:57,746 Like a big city phone book, not Dog River's. 189 00:08:58,447 --> 00:09:00,515 I don't care. I want to be prepared 190 00:09:00,516 --> 00:09:03,218 for Hank's next thing, so let's bone up. 191 00:09:03,220 --> 00:09:05,188 - We can start with "bones." - Or... 192 00:09:05,189 --> 00:09:07,823 We could stake out Hank, see what he's planning, 193 00:09:07,824 --> 00:09:10,759 and just study up on whatever he's faking. 194 00:09:10,761 --> 00:09:14,396 Then we don't have to learn how to save people's lives! 195 00:09:14,398 --> 00:09:16,965 - That is genius! - Ha ha! 196 00:09:16,966 --> 00:09:18,800 Ow! That hurt my thumb. 197 00:09:18,802 --> 00:09:21,336 Let's see what the book says about thumbs. 198 00:09:21,538 --> 00:09:24,707 I've thought things over, and you shouldn't sue Lacey. 199 00:09:24,708 --> 00:09:26,675 We don't have to sue her for everything. 200 00:09:26,677 --> 00:09:28,510 We just sue her for a bit of fun. 201 00:09:28,512 --> 00:09:31,047 Maybe get a new boat. Huh? 202 00:09:31,914 --> 00:09:33,815 Pretty nice boat, eh, Emma? 203 00:09:33,817 --> 00:09:37,319 Nicer than that dinky aluminum job we had before. 204 00:09:37,321 --> 00:09:41,489 You're right, Oscar. Then again, you always are. 205 00:09:41,491 --> 00:09:43,592 Another boat would be nice... 206 00:09:44,695 --> 00:09:47,329 Where the hell are you going? You can't leave me here. 207 00:09:47,331 --> 00:09:50,433 Bon voyage, Oscar. See you on the island. 208 00:09:50,434 --> 00:09:53,536 - What island? - Did I forget to say? Whoopsie! 209 00:09:53,537 --> 00:09:56,375 Full throttle, Carl. 210 00:09:57,840 --> 00:10:01,377 - Pretty appealing notion, isn't it? - Very appealing. 211 00:10:01,378 --> 00:10:03,579 But no! We can't sue Lacey. 212 00:10:03,580 --> 00:10:05,248 That would be wrong. 213 00:10:05,249 --> 00:10:08,316 Very boat. I mean, wrong. Wouldn't it? 214 00:10:08,318 --> 00:10:11,621 - Yes, I'm still here! - I know, you're sitting right in front of me. 215 00:10:11,622 --> 00:10:14,522 I'm not hanging up until I get some answers. 216 00:10:14,524 --> 00:10:16,025 I've got the coupon in my hand, 217 00:10:16,026 --> 00:10:18,560 and the promo code is right here in big font. 218 00:10:18,562 --> 00:10:21,296 - Do you think I can't read? - So, in my dreams, 219 00:10:21,297 --> 00:10:22,732 he's had two weapons that I can remember, 220 00:10:22,733 --> 00:10:24,833 snippers and a Tommy gun. 221 00:10:24,835 --> 00:10:26,235 Wait, didn't we go to high school 222 00:10:26,236 --> 00:10:27,369 with someone named Tommy? 223 00:10:27,370 --> 00:10:30,939 Yeah, he was a real pinball wizard. Yes, you have my attention! 224 00:10:30,941 --> 00:10:33,508 Pinball? Oh, hang on, I remember him. 225 00:10:33,510 --> 00:10:35,610 He had such a supple wrist. 226 00:10:35,612 --> 00:10:38,948 Dreams are usually highly symbolic. What does a gun mean to you? 227 00:10:38,949 --> 00:10:41,016 What? I-I wasn't threatening you. 228 00:10:41,018 --> 00:10:42,718 I was talking to a different idiot. 229 00:10:42,719 --> 00:10:44,854 What's a gun mean? It means danger. 230 00:10:44,855 --> 00:10:47,657 Reminds me of a bad dream I had about Michael J. Fox. 231 00:10:47,658 --> 00:10:50,392 - Did I ever tell you about that? - Please hold. 232 00:10:54,480 --> 00:10:57,783 - Ew, like, what is that? - Blood. 233 00:10:57,784 --> 00:10:59,918 I'm faking a broken nose to test Karen and Davis, 234 00:10:59,920 --> 00:11:04,122 and I need this to be realistic. What do you think? 235 00:11:04,758 --> 00:11:07,492 - What's it made of? - Maple syrup and cranberry juice. 236 00:11:08,461 --> 00:11:10,663 But mostly pig's blood. 237 00:11:10,664 --> 00:11:12,364 I said it had to be realistic. 238 00:11:14,667 --> 00:11:16,901 There's an emergency at the Foo Mart! 239 00:11:20,873 --> 00:11:24,276 Looks like a broken nose. Gauze... 240 00:11:25,178 --> 00:11:26,445 Peas. 241 00:11:26,446 --> 00:11:28,664 Sticker. 242 00:11:30,649 --> 00:11:32,252 - Yeah... - That's it. 243 00:11:32,253 --> 00:11:34,083 - All right. - Nice. 244 00:11:34,086 --> 00:11:38,490 - My goodness, that was impressive. - Yeah, too impressive. 245 00:11:38,492 --> 00:11:41,392 Davis and Karen have never shown up that fast to anything. 246 00:11:41,393 --> 00:11:44,229 I think those cheaters were following me. 247 00:11:44,797 --> 00:11:46,699 Hmm... tangy. 248 00:11:46,700 --> 00:11:48,967 Well, maybe not to the pig farm. 249 00:11:48,969 --> 00:11:51,102 Ah, that's a relief. 250 00:11:51,104 --> 00:11:54,272 Josh, you can get off the pillow and bring out the knives! 251 00:11:54,274 --> 00:11:57,408 I'm the proud new owner of an insurance policy. 252 00:11:57,410 --> 00:12:01,312 - Oh, good, now we can sue you. - What? 253 00:12:01,447 --> 00:12:04,109 This calls for a free pudding! 254 00:12:08,836 --> 00:12:10,969 - Have your dreams ever been lucid? - I don't know. 255 00:12:10,971 --> 00:12:13,939 Maybe a couple times when I was a teenager. 256 00:12:13,941 --> 00:12:15,941 Nah, that's something else. Also... yuck. 257 00:12:15,943 --> 00:12:17,375 When you're lucid dreaming, 258 00:12:17,376 --> 00:12:19,523 you're fully in control of your dream. 259 00:12:19,558 --> 00:12:22,414 Well, if I was in control, Michael J. Fox wouldn't be murdering me. 260 00:12:22,416 --> 00:12:25,751 We'd be doing our own cooler, funkier take on the Blues Brothers. 261 00:12:25,753 --> 00:12:27,853 What if I tried to put you in a lucid state? 262 00:12:27,855 --> 00:12:30,957 - I could help guide you with narration. - Fine, let's give it a go. 263 00:12:30,958 --> 00:12:33,325 Close your eyes, 264 00:12:33,327 --> 00:12:35,761 take a big, deep breath, 265 00:12:35,763 --> 00:12:38,330 and repeat after me. 266 00:12:38,332 --> 00:12:41,567 "I will know I'm dreaming, and take control." 267 00:12:41,569 --> 00:12:44,703 Wanda will know she's dreaming, and take control. 268 00:12:44,705 --> 00:12:48,440 "I" is you. Now focus, and... 269 00:12:49,577 --> 00:12:51,543 ...and we're off to dreamland. 270 00:12:55,583 --> 00:12:57,383 Why am I in a hot rod? 271 00:12:57,385 --> 00:13:00,695 I don't know, your screwed-up subconscious got us here. 272 00:13:00,730 --> 00:13:03,489 Relax, I'll take the wheel, Jesus style. 273 00:13:04,525 --> 00:13:07,459 Oh. Hey there, stranger. 274 00:13:07,461 --> 00:13:11,497 - Hey, gorgeous, wanna make out? - I consent to this. 275 00:13:14,234 --> 00:13:17,236 - Ow! Hey! - Eyes forward, fatty-o. 276 00:13:18,406 --> 00:13:20,607 Ow. Aah! 277 00:13:22,793 --> 00:13:26,496 Aw, great, nice driving. I almost had him to second base. 278 00:13:26,497 --> 00:13:28,565 You were the one who was supposed to be guiding the dream. 279 00:13:28,566 --> 00:13:31,233 I was, and I almost had him to second base. 280 00:13:31,235 --> 00:13:34,554 Well, did you gain any insights from your filthy trip 281 00:13:34,555 --> 00:13:37,139 into my subconscious? Wanda? 282 00:13:37,140 --> 00:13:39,608 Listen to me you soul-sucking, amoral, greasy cog. 283 00:13:39,610 --> 00:13:42,611 I'm not getting off the phone until I speak to a manager, 284 00:13:42,613 --> 00:13:43,913 and don't just put me on hold 285 00:13:43,914 --> 00:13:45,548 and come back on with a different voice. 286 00:13:45,549 --> 00:13:49,574 I'll know, you low-life, two-faced, neck bearded... 287 00:13:49,609 --> 00:13:51,988 - Dammit! - You're quite the poet. 288 00:13:51,989 --> 00:13:52,956 How do you know someone on the phone 289 00:13:52,957 --> 00:13:56,491 - has a neck beard? - I can hear it rustling. 290 00:13:59,429 --> 00:14:01,930 - You can't sue me. - Why the hell not? 291 00:14:01,931 --> 00:14:04,166 We'd just be taking the insurance company's money. 292 00:14:04,308 --> 00:14:06,575 Don't you want to help out your friends? 293 00:14:06,577 --> 00:14:09,345 In theory, but I wasn't covered when Oscar hurt himself, 294 00:14:09,346 --> 00:14:11,346 so that money'll be comin' out of my pocket. 295 00:14:11,348 --> 00:14:13,915 What if we redo the injury now, 296 00:14:13,917 --> 00:14:15,650 so that it's covered by your insurance? 297 00:14:15,652 --> 00:14:17,820 - Win-win. - That's not win-win. 298 00:14:17,821 --> 00:14:21,224 - That's fraud-fraud. - Frog? I don't see any frog. 299 00:14:21,225 --> 00:14:23,692 I didn't say "frog," I said "fraud." 300 00:14:23,694 --> 00:14:26,495 - You mean like Kermit the Frog? - Seriously? 301 00:14:26,496 --> 00:14:28,330 You're just going to pretend you can't hear the word "fraud"? 302 00:14:28,332 --> 00:14:32,734 - Is he still dating that karate pig? - She's a handful. 303 00:14:41,712 --> 00:14:43,578 Oh boy, give us a hard one. 304 00:14:43,580 --> 00:14:46,082 Hatchet wound? Textbook. 305 00:14:46,083 --> 00:14:50,819 Wait just a minute. Whiskey and a kite... 306 00:14:50,821 --> 00:14:53,588 Hmm, mysterious. 307 00:14:53,590 --> 00:14:57,993 Oh, I have a theory. The hatchet is just a red herring. 308 00:14:57,995 --> 00:15:00,295 Lin's going to get drunk, try to fly the kite, 309 00:15:00,297 --> 00:15:02,430 and that crazy prairie wind kicks up, 310 00:15:02,432 --> 00:15:04,800 drags her off her feet, breaks her neck. 311 00:15:04,802 --> 00:15:07,135 Hmm, I don't know. 312 00:15:07,137 --> 00:15:10,005 This feels like a Chekov's hatchet situation. 313 00:15:10,007 --> 00:15:12,974 It's too flashy not to use. 314 00:15:12,976 --> 00:15:15,912 DRPD. 315 00:15:15,913 --> 00:15:17,913 Get down the post office, and quick! 316 00:15:17,915 --> 00:15:21,283 - This one's a doozy! - Showtime. 317 00:15:23,035 --> 00:15:25,705 I got the gauze ready. Where's the hatchet wound? 318 00:15:25,706 --> 00:15:29,141 - Keep your neck still. - Why? Will that help my... 319 00:15:29,142 --> 00:15:32,610 gigantic venomous snake bite? 320 00:15:32,612 --> 00:15:34,646 - Are you kidding? - Aw, man! 321 00:15:34,647 --> 00:15:36,548 Who gets bitten by a snake at the post office? 322 00:15:36,550 --> 00:15:40,239 This guy. It was mailed to me by international assassins. 323 00:15:40,306 --> 00:15:42,520 You don't need the whole backstory. Snake bite. 324 00:15:42,521 --> 00:15:43,923 I know how to handle this one. 325 00:15:43,924 --> 00:15:45,957 You... just have to go suck the venom out. 326 00:15:45,959 --> 00:15:48,560 If you know how to do it, you go suck the venom out. 327 00:15:48,562 --> 00:15:52,131 Dying. Dying! Very nearly dead, 328 00:15:52,132 --> 00:15:55,334 all because you two didn't know enough to administer anti-venom, 329 00:15:55,335 --> 00:16:00,538 and now my international enemies are celebrating my death. 330 00:16:04,111 --> 00:16:06,011 That foam actually looks real. 331 00:16:06,013 --> 00:16:07,879 Thanks. I gargled with dish soap. 332 00:16:08,982 --> 00:16:12,617 If Hank's onto us, we're going to have to actually study. 333 00:16:12,619 --> 00:16:15,920 Not necessarily. He might choke on the dish soap. 334 00:16:15,922 --> 00:16:18,824 Let's see how this plays out. 335 00:16:20,761 --> 00:16:23,728 Put me on hold... I'll put your heart on hold. 336 00:16:23,730 --> 00:16:27,432 Oh, that sounded romantic, but I mean it violently. 337 00:16:27,434 --> 00:16:29,368 Hello? What about my problem? 338 00:16:29,369 --> 00:16:31,636 Your stupid dreams are all over the map. 339 00:16:31,638 --> 00:16:33,873 You fix a fight, you're on a high wire, 340 00:16:33,874 --> 00:16:35,007 you're driving a coupe... 341 00:16:35,008 --> 00:16:37,677 Nobody could ever make any sense of that brain porridge. 342 00:16:37,678 --> 00:16:40,346 Fix... Wire... 343 00:16:40,347 --> 00:16:42,314 Coop? That's it! 344 00:16:42,315 --> 00:16:46,885 I was supposed to fix the wire on Helen's chicken coop, but I forgot! 345 00:16:46,886 --> 00:16:48,587 ...and then a fox got in and killed them. 346 00:16:48,589 --> 00:16:51,756 So, Michael J. Fox is haunting my subconscious 347 00:16:51,758 --> 00:16:53,825 as a manifestation of my guilt. 348 00:16:53,827 --> 00:16:56,428 Just like I said. You're welcome. 349 00:16:56,429 --> 00:16:58,598 Now you know what you have to do to make this right. 350 00:16:58,599 --> 00:17:03,869 I do, but I don't want to preemptively kill Michael J. Fox. 351 00:17:03,871 --> 00:17:06,772 No, you promised you'd help someone, and then flaked. 352 00:17:06,773 --> 00:17:08,473 So just go help someone else, 353 00:17:08,475 --> 00:17:10,542 - and you'll be cured. - Oh. 354 00:17:10,544 --> 00:17:14,317 And then it's goodbye, Murder J. Fox, Hello, Vegas. 355 00:17:14,352 --> 00:17:16,081 Hello! You're the manager? 356 00:17:16,083 --> 00:17:18,583 Well, maybe now we can actually get somewhere, 357 00:17:18,585 --> 00:17:20,186 and have a reasonable... 358 00:17:20,187 --> 00:17:22,988 I'm holding the coupon in my hands, 359 00:17:22,990 --> 00:17:27,026 you filthy, lying dumpsack! Yeah, I'll hold. 360 00:17:29,363 --> 00:17:31,830 Now, just walk up and stub your toe, 361 00:17:31,832 --> 00:17:34,866 and if you happen to fall and crash into the glass door, 362 00:17:34,868 --> 00:17:39,037 - great. - Uh... Ow. 363 00:17:39,872 --> 00:17:41,474 Um... 364 00:17:41,475 --> 00:17:44,376 Ow! Ow! That hurts. 365 00:17:44,378 --> 00:17:47,445 That was fake as this marriage is long. 366 00:17:47,447 --> 00:17:49,147 Try again. 367 00:17:51,350 --> 00:17:55,620 I can't do it. I keep tensing up when I know it's coming. 368 00:17:55,622 --> 00:17:57,189 We need to take this seriously. 369 00:17:57,190 --> 00:17:59,858 How do you treat a victim of electric shock? 370 00:17:59,860 --> 00:18:02,361 - Uh... Band-aid? - What about a bee sting? 371 00:18:02,362 --> 00:18:04,397 - Band-aid? - What about a sunburn? 372 00:18:04,398 --> 00:18:07,499 - Cold Band-aid? - And you are 0 for 3. 373 00:18:07,501 --> 00:18:09,901 Are you sure? The Band-aid is the duct tape 374 00:18:09,902 --> 00:18:10,835 of the medical profession. 375 00:18:10,837 --> 00:18:13,673 I have no idea how we're going to learn this stuff. 376 00:18:13,674 --> 00:18:16,901 This book is 400 pages long! 377 00:18:17,344 --> 00:18:20,263 Main Street. SOS. Now. 378 00:18:26,752 --> 00:18:29,722 - And... action! - They're everywhere! 379 00:18:29,723 --> 00:18:31,123 They're everywhere! 380 00:18:31,124 --> 00:18:34,292 - Every man for himself! - Looting! 381 00:18:36,963 --> 00:18:41,566 - What the hell is this? - I don't feel so good. 382 00:18:41,568 --> 00:18:43,401 Wha... what the... 383 00:18:48,574 --> 00:18:50,743 - Really? - I'm pretty sure "alien invasion" 384 00:18:50,744 --> 00:18:52,111 isn't in the first aid manual. 385 00:18:52,112 --> 00:18:56,348 I know how to fix this. Two cc's of coffee, stat. 386 00:18:56,350 --> 00:18:58,316 Let's roll. 387 00:18:58,318 --> 00:19:03,855 Wait. You have to be prepared for anything! Anything! 388 00:19:04,117 --> 00:19:08,152 - Maybe you could use a push? - All right, that's enough. 389 00:19:08,154 --> 00:19:10,555 Stop this before you actually hurt yourself. 390 00:19:10,557 --> 00:19:13,958 Relax, it's all part of the plan. Or have you forgotten? 391 00:19:13,959 --> 00:19:16,327 I actually have forgotten. Maybe you can remind me. 392 00:19:16,329 --> 00:19:18,463 We're recreating the earlier accident 393 00:19:18,465 --> 00:19:21,032 to cash in on your new insurance policy, 394 00:19:21,034 --> 00:19:22,668 because that's what friends do. 395 00:19:22,669 --> 00:19:25,637 They wait for their friends to renew their insurance 396 00:19:25,639 --> 00:19:29,174 - before they recreate earlier accidents. - Got it! 397 00:19:29,175 --> 00:19:32,043 Friends also sometimes record other friends on their phones 398 00:19:32,045 --> 00:19:34,145 - admitting to fraud! - You did what? 399 00:19:34,147 --> 00:19:36,015 Give me that! 400 00:19:36,016 --> 00:19:39,117 Aah! My ankle! My ankle's broken. 401 00:19:39,119 --> 00:19:42,186 - Oh, here we go. - The jig's up, Oscar. 402 00:19:42,188 --> 00:19:45,503 - We know you're all faking. - Ow! 403 00:19:45,991 --> 00:19:49,486 Say hi to E.T. for us. 404 00:19:53,498 --> 00:19:54,968 So, when are you leaving for Vegas? 405 00:19:54,969 --> 00:19:57,836 - I've changed my mind. - After all that? 406 00:19:57,838 --> 00:19:59,905 You're not gonna let those crooks at Cheap Wing 407 00:19:59,907 --> 00:20:02,140 get away with that phony promo code, are you? 408 00:20:02,142 --> 00:20:03,842 I am. Because, uh, 409 00:20:03,910 --> 00:20:06,089 it was not a coupon for Cheap Wing Airlines. 410 00:20:06,102 --> 00:20:08,637 It was a coupon for cheap wings from Poo-Mart. 411 00:20:08,681 --> 00:20:12,284 - Like... chicken wings? - No, bat wings. Anyhoo, 412 00:20:12,318 --> 00:20:14,319 have you, uh, decided who you're going to help 413 00:20:14,321 --> 00:20:15,989 to relieve your chicken coop guilt? 414 00:20:15,990 --> 00:20:18,223 Because four out of five psychologists agree, 415 00:20:18,225 --> 00:20:21,828 buying an employee a flight to Vegas cures a lot of problems. 416 00:20:25,199 --> 00:20:27,734 Nope. You'd better go strap on those bat wings, 417 00:20:27,735 --> 00:20:29,668 because I know exactly who I'm helping. 418 00:20:29,670 --> 00:20:32,538 I'm gonna sue you! The cops! 419 00:20:32,539 --> 00:20:34,874 - These steps! - Oscar, that's enough. 420 00:20:34,875 --> 00:20:37,676 Lacey, Karen, Davis, they're our friends. 421 00:20:37,678 --> 00:20:39,444 Nobody is suing anybody. 422 00:20:39,446 --> 00:20:42,447 Thanks, Emma. I'm glad we're friends. 423 00:20:42,449 --> 00:20:43,850 Plus, I have you on tape. 424 00:20:43,851 --> 00:20:46,785 Mom, Dad, if you sue Lacey, 425 00:20:46,787 --> 00:20:49,088 I'll never talk to either one of you ever again. 426 00:20:49,089 --> 00:20:52,324 - We're not suing Lacey. - Huh. 427 00:20:52,325 --> 00:20:55,460 Well, when I put my mind to it, I'm a hell of a problem-solver. 428 00:20:55,462 --> 00:20:57,429 Screw you, Michael J. Fox. 429 00:20:57,431 --> 00:20:59,532 Oh, by the way, Brent, I have a loose board on the stairs. 430 00:20:59,533 --> 00:21:00,700 Could you fix it for me? 431 00:21:00,701 --> 00:21:03,602 Oh, yeah, yeah, sure, I'll get right on it. 432 00:21:09,355 --> 00:21:10,824 ♪ I don't know ♪ 433 00:21:10,825 --> 00:21:13,826 ♪ The same things you don't know ♪ 434 00:21:17,230 --> 00:21:18,809 ♪ I don't know ♪ 435 00:21:18,865 --> 00:21:22,234 ♪ I just... don't know ♪ 436 00:21:24,304 --> 00:21:28,241 - ♪ Ooh - It's a great big place ♪ 437 00:21:28,242 --> 00:21:31,678 - ♪ Ooh - Full of nothin' but space ♪ 438 00:21:31,679 --> 00:21:35,614 - ♪ Ooh - And it's my happy place ♪ 439 00:21:35,616 --> 00:21:38,150 ♪ I don't know ♪ 440 00:21:38,352 --> 00:21:41,706 sync & correction by f1nc0 ~ Addic7ed.com ~ 35307

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